huffpost--2020-05-20--Why Experts Predict 2021 Is The Year To Buy A Home, Despite Coronavirus

On the other hand , mortgage rates are at rock bottom .
Plus , many homebuilders and developers are enticing buyers with special deals , such as discounted prices , waived closing costs , appliance upgrades , mortgage modifications and more , Moguel said .
“ Those in the market for a new home have a unique opportunity to take advantage of these opportunities during this time , ” she said .
Even so , we ’ re still in the early stages of the pandemic , and its full effects are yet to be seen .
If you ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the position to buy a home , here ’ s what you should know about buying during the COVID-19 crisis and how you can potentially get the best deal .
Andrea Woroch , who advises consumers on how to save money , said she refinanced her current mortgage just a few weeks ago .
She was able to shave more than 1 % off her interest rate , which means she will save more than $ 100,000 over the life of the loan .
( Woroch is a former contributor to HuffPost .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ to sell : an average of 62 days in April , four days slower than in the same month last year .
During the week ending April 25 , homes spent an average of nine days more on the market than in the same week in 2019 .
As home sellers take a step back to see whether economic conditions will improve , social distancing measures are making viewing homes a tricky proposition for potential buyers .
At the same time , stricter lending requirements are making qualifying for a mortgage more difficult @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , mortgage or credit card payments , for example , that may work against you when you apply for a home loan , Woroch said .
All of these factors are likely contributing to the extended amount of time properties sit on the market .
“ The good momentum we saw at the start of the year has helped to somewhat insulate the housing market from the coronavirus ’ negative impact on buyer and seller confidence across the U.S. , ” Danielle Hale , Realtor.com ’ s chief economist , said in the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ saw sharp drops in new listings , an increase in the time it takes to sell a home and a flattening of prices in April , May is likely to see some of these metrics worsen , ” The Biggest Homebuying Opportunities Are Yet To Come Real estate values are considered a lagging indicator of market shocks , according to Emile L ’ Eplattenier , chief real estate analyst and managing editor for TheClose.com .
“ Think of it like a tsunami that follows an earthquake : Even with massive damage to the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ but collapsing , we won ’ t start to see the effects play out on real estate pricing for a few months at least , ” he said .
For one , homeowners have been spoiled by tight inventory and hyperspeed gentrification over the past few years , L ’ Eplattenier said .
So those who are in the unfortunate position of having to sell during the pandemic will stubbornly stick to pre-recession pricing for a few months .
Further , the government has take several measures to stimulate the economy and protect @ @ @ @ @ @ @ bills .
But that won ’ t go on forever .
“ Over the next few months , the government will eventually put the brakes on printing money .
Eviction and foreclosure moratoriums will cease in many markets .
And we [ will ] start to see thousands of businesses go under .
This is when the real estate market is going to really start to wobble and fall , ” said Owen Dashner , owner and operator of Red Ladder Property Solutions , a house-flipping business in Omaha , Nebraska .
“ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ equal a lot of unpaid leases and mortgages , ultimately leading to foreclosures and a market downturn.
” The foreclosure process takes a long time , so homes that soon enter foreclosure won ’ t show up at auction for at least another few months .
But once they do , housing prices should fall fast .
“ Foreclosures are like weeds in a garden ; they pull down the value of aggressively priced homes , and quickly , ” L ’ Eplattenier said .
What that means is that if you can @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 12 months or so , there will be an opportunity to buy at a large discount compared to now .
Of course , you don ’ t want to swoop in and prey on the misfortune of your neighbors .
But the truth is that if you ’ re going to buy , it ’ s better to wait until prices bottom out rather than spending tens of thousands more than necessary .
“ The correction is coming , and with it [ will ] come some opportunities for those prepared , ” @ @ @ @ @ @ @ House During A Pandemic ?

LOADING ERROR LOADING
The coronavirus pandemic threw a wrench into just about everyone’s plans. Vacations were canceled, lesson plans were turned upside down and millions of Americans were suddenly out of a job.
If you were planning to buy a house in the near future, you might be questioning whether you should put that idea on pause, too.
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“COVID-19 has definitely created special circumstances for homebuyers,” said Susan Moguel, marketing director at Arden, a real estate developer in Palm Beach County, Florida. “With numerous industries shuttered due to quarantine, the economic uncertainty caused by the pandemic forced many people to put their homebuying plans on hold,”
On the other hand, mortgage rates are at rock bottom. Plus, many homebuilders and developers are enticing buyers with special deals, such as discounted prices, waived closing costs, appliance upgrades, mortgage modifications and more, Moguel said. “Those in the market for a new home have a unique opportunity to take advantage of these opportunities during this time,” she said.
Even so, we’re still in the early stages of the pandemic, and its full effects are yet to be seen. If you’re fortunate enough to still be in the position to buy a home, here’s what you should know about buying during the COVID-19 crisis and how you can potentially get the best deal.
Mortgage Rates Are At All-Time Lows
The Federal Reserve cut its federal funds interest rate in early March by 0.5 percentage points to a range of 1% to 1.25% in response to the pandemic’s effect on our economy. Two weeks later, it made another emergency rate cut of 1 percentage point to a range of 0% to 0.25% ― the lowest level since the Great Recession.
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Though the Fed’s target rate doesn’t have a direct effect on mortgage interest rates, there is a connection between the two, and mortgage rates dropped accordingly. Mortgage rates fell to all-time lows in April, and the average rate on a 30-year fixed-rate mortgage now hovers around 3.4%.
Andrea Woroch, who advises consumers on how to save money, said she refinanced her current mortgage just a few weeks ago. She was able to shave more than 1% off her interest rate, which means she will save more than $100,000 over the life of the loan. (Woroch is a former contributor to HuffPost.)
“Whether you’re looking to buy or refinance, these low rates can help lower your monthly payment and save you thousands of dollars over the life of your mortgage loan, making this a good time to buy,” Woroch said.
Even so, historically low mortgage rates can’t solve one problem that some prospective homeowners are running into: a lack of houses for sale. “Inventory is lower because people don’t want to sell their homes during this outbreak,” Woroch said, adding that home prices are probably not at their lowest levels yet.
The number of newly listed homes in April dropped 44% compared with the same month a year ago, according to Realtor.com’s April Housing Trends report. Combined with widespread delistings, U.S. housing inventory reached a new April low — and historically, April is one of the busiest months for residential real estate.
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It also took longer for homes to sell: an average of 62 days in April, four days slower than in the same month last year. During the week ending April 25, homes spent an average of nine days more on the market than in the same week in 2019.
As home sellers take a step back to see whether economic conditions will improve, social distancing measures are making viewing homes a tricky proposition for potential buyers. At the same time, stricter lending requirements are making qualifying for a mortgage more difficult: If you recently deferred any bill, mortgage or credit card payments, for example, that may work against you when you apply for a home loan, Woroch said. All of these factors are likely contributing to the extended amount of time properties sit on the market.
“The good momentum we saw at the start of the year has helped to somewhat insulate the housing market from the coronavirus’ negative impact on buyer and seller confidence across the U.S.,” Danielle Hale, Realtor.com’s chief economist, said in the housing trends report. “Although we saw sharp drops in new listings, an increase in the time it takes to sell a home and a flattening of prices in April, May is likely to see some of these metrics worsen,”
The Biggest Homebuying Opportunities Are Yet To Come
Real estate values are considered a lagging indicator of market shocks, according to Emile L’Eplattenier, chief real estate analyst and managing editor for TheClose.com. “Think of it like a tsunami that follows an earthquake: Even with massive damage to the stock market and dozens of industries all but collapsing, we won’t start to see the effects play out on real estate pricing for a few months at least,” he said.
For one, homeowners have been spoiled by tight inventory and hyperspeed gentrification over the past few years, L’Eplattenier said. So those who are in the unfortunate position of having to sell during the pandemic will stubbornly stick to pre-recession pricing for a few months.
Advertisement
Further, the government has take several measures to stimulate the economy and protect consumers who can’t afford their bills. But that won’t go on forever. “Over the next few months, the government will eventually put the brakes on printing money. Eviction and foreclosure moratoriums will cease in many markets. And we [will] start to see thousands of businesses go under. This is when the real estate market is going to really start to wobble and fall,” said Owen Dashner, owner and operator of Red Ladder Property Solutions, a house-flipping business in Omaha, Nebraska. “Thirty million-plus Americans unemployed is going to equal a lot of unpaid leases and mortgages, ultimately leading to foreclosures and a market downturn.”
The foreclosure process takes a long time, so homes that soon enter foreclosure won’t show up at auction for at least another few months. But once they do, housing prices should fall fast. “Foreclosures are like weeds in a garden; they pull down the value of aggressively priced homes, and quickly,” L’Eplattenier said.
What that means is that if you can hold out on purchasing for the next 12 months or so, there will be an opportunity to buy at a large discount compared to now. Of course, you don’t want to swoop in and prey on the misfortune of your neighbors. But the truth is that if you’re going to buy, it’s better to wait until prices bottom out rather than spending tens of thousands more than necessary. “The correction is coming, and with it [will] come some opportunities for those prepared,” Dashner said.
Should You Buy A House During A Pandemic?
Rock-bottom rates make homebuying an attractive option, but there are still many unknowns and challenges when it comes to assessing how the pandemic will affect the market and consumers’ financial lives.
As of April, more than 30 million Americans had filed for unemployment. Some states have begun to reopen businesses slowly, but there’s no telling what kind of ripple effect the shutdown will have on employment for months to come.
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Buying a home when your job stability is uncertain is a risky prospect. The next year might present once-in-a-lifetime opportunities to buy, but that doesn’t mean you should go for it if you aren’t prepared.
“No one can ever predict the market, and I am a strong believer that the right time to buy is when you are financially ready to,” said Peggy Zabakolas, a licensed real estate broker with Nest Seekers International.
The good news for prospective homebuyers with stable income and plenty of cash on hand is that if massive layoffs continue, we may see a lot of inventory coming up in the next few months at discounted prices, making it a buyer’s market.


huffpost--2020-05-19--Trump Hopes You Forget How He Praised China And The WHO Before Blaming Them

“ China has been working very hard to contain the Coronavirus , ” Trump wrote in a Jan. 24 Twitter post .
“ The United States greatly appreciates their efforts and transparency .
It will all work out well .
In particular , on behalf of the American People , I want to thank President Xi !
” It was neither the first nor the last such tribute .
On Jan. 22 , the first day Trump spoke publicly about the coronavirus , he told Fox News there was nothing to worry about .
“ It ’ s all taken @ @ @ @ @ @ @ very hard on the problem .
We spoke about it and China is working very hard on it.
” Even two months later , Trump was still lauding China and Xi .
“ Look , I have a very good relationship with President Xi and they went through a lot .
You know some people say other things .
They went through a lot .
They lost thousands of people .
They ’ ve been through hell , ” he told reporters on March 24 .
“ Trump ’ s failure to act @ @ @ @ @ @ @ America and he now hopes that if the whole world is set ablaze , nobody will notice the damage he did at home , ” Schwerin said .
“ Trump lies to distract from his early failures but his ongoing failures should worry us just as much.
” Alyssah Farah , director of strategic communications at the White House , said Trump ’ s earlier public comments about China were mindful of the bigger picture , including a trade agreement the president signed with that nation on Jan. 15 .
“ The U.S. @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , ” she said .
“ The president has a duty to try to maintain healthy diplomatic relations .
However , less than a week later , the president shut down travel from China , saving countless American lives .
Actions speak louder than words.
” But public health experts believe that Trump ’ s Jan. 31 decision to stop foreigners who had been in China during the previous 14 days from entering the U.S. ― which both Trump and his supporters have touted for months as having solved the coronavirus problem ― @ @ @ @ @ @ @ time to prepare for the pandemic ’ s spread here .
Trump did little to almost nothing to prepare , though , in January , February and right up till March 16 , when he first appeared to take the threat seriously .
Trump now claims that China and the WHO withheld information from him and the world .
Ironically , his letter lays out a clear timeline of the various events associated with the virus ’ s outbreak that Trump ignored for months ― events that his own agencies had noted and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Yet those details and many more were also known to U.S. intelligence agencies , the State Department and even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention largely in real time , according to one former White House official , who spoke on condition of anonymity .
This material began showing up in Trump ’ s intelligence briefing material in early January , the official said .
But Trump did not have an intelligence briefing scheduled until Jan. 6 and only nine scheduled all month .
“ The entire month of January was @ @ @ @ @ @ @ “ It ’ s jarring to see Trump ’ s letter invoke many of the data points that were publicly available in December and January to which he continued to turn a blind eye long after the WHO started sounding the alarm about the impending pandemic , ” said Ned Price , a former CIA analyst and a spokesman for the National Security Council under President Barack Obama .
“ You don ’ t have to believe the WHO ’ s response was perfect ― it wasn ’ t , of course ― @ @ @ @ @ @ @ deeply flawed approach , which essentially amounted to empty praise of Beijing until his sudden 180 , after which he ’ s offered nothing but blame.
” Trump repeatedly criticized Democrats in Congress , mayors and governors , the news media and Obama for the pandemic , even as he continued to praise Xi for his actions to contain the disease ― despite the facts that Xi did not contain the disease and that his cover-up efforts hastened its spread around the world .
On April 7 , Trump accused the WHO of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ threat , but then explicitly stated why he had praised Xi for being “ transparent ” when he had not been .
If that deal was the reason for treating China with kid gloves , though , it may already be for naught .
The accord is not a traditional free trade agreement , but more of a partial unwinding of Trump ’ s trade war with China in return for its promise to buy certain quantities of exports from the U.S .
The pandemic ’ s damage to the economies of both @ @ @ @ @ @ @ put that promise in doubt , trade experts said .
If China doesn ’ t buy the promised goods , it is unclear what recourse Trump will have , other than reimposing high tariffs , which would further hurt American manufacturers , who rely on materials from China , and U.S. consumers , who would face higher prices in stores .

LOADING ERROR LOADING
WASHINGTON ― President Donald Trump’s stepped-up efforts to blame China and the World Health Organization for the coronavirus pandemic’s toll may require collective amnesia of his recent lavish praise of both to work.
“The World Health Organization failed to independently investigate credible reports that conflicted directly with the Chinese government’s official accounts,” Trump wrote in a new letter to the WHO threatening to end U.S. funding permanently. “The World Health Organization has been curiously insistent on praising China for its alleged ‘transparency.’”
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What the five-page letter, dated Monday, fails to note is his own repeated praise of both China and its dictator, Xi Jinping ― including for that same “alleged transparency.”
“China has been working very hard to contain the Coronavirus,” Trump wrote in a Jan. 24 Twitter post. “The United States greatly appreciates their efforts and transparency. It will all work out well. In particular, on behalf of the American People, I want to thank President Xi!”
It was neither the first nor the last such tribute. On Jan. 22, the first day Trump spoke publicly about the coronavirus, he told Fox News there was nothing to worry about. “It’s all taken care of. And China is working very hard on the problem. We spoke about it and China is working very hard on it.”
U.S. President Donald Trump and Chinese President Xi Jinping shake hands after a bilateral meeting at Mar-a-Lago on April 7, 2017, in Palm Beach, Florida. Alex Brandon/ASSOCIATED PRESS
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Even two months later, Trump was still lauding China and Xi. “Look, I have a very good relationship with President Xi and they went through a lot. You know some people say other things. They went through a lot. They lost thousands of people. They’ve been through hell,” he told reporters on March 24.
Josh Schwerin, senior strategist with the Democratic super PAC Priorities USA, said Trump’s ploy is obvious.
“Trump’s failure to act let the virus spread like wildfire in America and he now hopes that if the whole world is set ablaze, nobody will notice the damage he did at home,” Schwerin said. “Trump lies to distract from his early failures but his ongoing failures should worry us just as much.”
Alyssah Farah, director of strategic communications at the White House, said Trump’s earlier public comments about China were mindful of the bigger picture, including a trade agreement the president signed with that nation on Jan. 15. “The U.S.’s relationship with China is multifaceted,” she said. “The president has a duty to try to maintain healthy diplomatic relations. However, less than a week later, the president shut down travel from China, saving countless American lives. Actions speak louder than words.”
But public health experts believe that Trump’s Jan. 31 decision to stop foreigners who had been in China during the previous 14 days from entering the U.S. ― which both Trump and his supporters have touted for months as having solved the coronavirus problem ― at best bought a few weeks of time to prepare for the pandemic’s spread here. Trump did little to almost nothing to prepare, though, in January, February and right up till March 16, when he first appeared to take the threat seriously.
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Trump now claims that China and the WHO withheld information from him and the world. Ironically, his letter lays out a clear timeline of the various events associated with the virus’s outbreak that Trump ignored for months ― events that his own agencies had noted and informed him about starting in early January.
The president’s letter mentions reports in Chinese media in December of an outbreak in the city of Wuhan and how that information was passed on to the WHO by Taiwanese officials on Dec. 31.
Yet those details and many more were also known to U.S. intelligence agencies, the State Department and even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention largely in real time, according to one former White House official, who spoke on condition of anonymity.
This material began showing up in Trump’s intelligence briefing material in early January, the official said. But Trump did not have an intelligence briefing scheduled until Jan. 6 and only nine scheduled all month. “The entire month of January was lost,” the official said.
“It’s jarring to see Trump’s letter invoke many of the data points that were publicly available in December and January to which he continued to turn a blind eye long after the WHO started sounding the alarm about the impending pandemic,” said Ned Price, a former CIA analyst and a spokesman for the National Security Council under President Barack Obama. “You don’t have to believe the WHO’s response was perfect ― it wasn’t, of course ― to find fault with Trump’s deeply flawed approach, which essentially amounted to empty praise of Beijing until his sudden 180, after which he’s offered nothing but blame.”
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Trump repeatedly criticized Democrats in Congress, mayors and governors, the news media and Obama for the pandemic, even as he continued to praise Xi for his actions to contain the disease ― despite the facts that Xi did not contain the disease and that his cover-up efforts hastened its spread around the world. On April 7, Trump accused the WHO of failing to warn the world about the threat, but then explicitly stated why he had praised Xi for being “transparent” when he had not been.
“Well, I did a trade deal with China, where China is supposed to be spending $250 billion in our country,” Trump told reporters, in an explanation he has repeated frequently.
If that deal was the reason for treating China with kid gloves, though, it may already be for naught. The accord is not a traditional free trade agreement, but more of a partial unwinding of Trump’s trade war with China in return for its promise to buy certain quantities of exports from the U.S.
The pandemic’s damage to the economies of both China and the United States has already put that promise in doubt, trade experts said. If China doesn’t buy the promised goods, it is unclear what recourse Trump will have, other than reimposing high tariffs, which would further hurt American manufacturers, who rely on materials from China, and U.S. consumers, who would face higher prices in stores.


huffpost--2020-05-20--How Much Of This Will Our Kids Actually Remember?

On rough days in my household of late — when I ’ m behind on work , my kids are being jerks , and I ’ m either snapping at them or shoving them in front of yet another screen — I try to focus on a quote I ’ ve seen floating around on Facebook recently .
I ’ m going to butcher it , but the basic sentiment is that our kids won ’ t remember specific lessons we taught them or specific arguments we had while we were sheltering in place together .
They will , however @ @ @ @ @ @ @ throughout all of this .
What they remember ( if anything ! )
has a lot to do with age and personality .
No one really knows the age at which children begin forming truly long-lasting memories .
Some researchers believe the earliest start around age 3 1/2 and everything before that is lost to a kind of childhood amnesia .
Others believe children start forming memories before that time , but those memories don ’ t necessarily last beyond adolescence .
The bottom line ?
Older kids are more likely to remember @ @ @ @ @ @ @ younger kiddos will probably forget most of it .
They are more likely to remember intense emotions .
If a friend or family member becomes very sick with or dies from COVID-19 , that can certainly become a painful permanent memory .
But just feeling really afraid of the coronavirus or really sad about all of the changes happening around them could stick with our kiddos , too .
That ’ s one reason why it is so important for parents to be careful about what they ’ re telling their children about @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ re also more likely to retain a broad overview of life from this time .
Of course , so many of those things are completely out of parents ’ control .
But it can be helpful to remember what is in your hands : letting your children know that while they are in your care , they are safe and loved .
Focus on the positives when possible .
Having some fun with your kid can make a big difference in what they remember down the road , the experts say .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ urged , and be really open with your kids about it .
Tell them that a positive future lies ahead and that we can help bring it about .
How we frame this after the fact matters , too .

JGI/Jamie Grill via Getty Images Parents can influence how their kids look back on the coronavirus pandemic in the years to come.
On rough days in my household of late — when I’m behind on work, my kids are being jerks, and I’m either snapping at them or shoving them in front of yet another screen — I try to focus on a quote I’ve seen floating around on Facebook recently. I’m going to butcher it, but the basic sentiment is that our kids won’t remember specific lessons we taught them or specific arguments we had while we were sheltering in place together. They will, however, remember how we made them feel throughout all of this.
It’s a lovely sentiment, and certainly an emotional lifeline to those of us struggling to balance parenthood and work ― or the sudden, horrible shock of unemployment ― while trying to keep our families safe in a global pandemic.
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But I also wonder: Is it true? How much will our kids actually recall about living through the COVID-19 pandemic? And how might those memories change them? HuffPost Parents spoke to three child mental health experts to learn more.
What they remember (if anything!) has a lot to do with age and personality.
No one really knows the age at which children begin forming truly long-lasting memories. Some researchers believe the earliest start around age 3 1/2 and everything before that is lost to a kind of childhood amnesia. Others believe children start forming memories before that time, but those memories don’t necessarily last beyond adolescence. The bottom line? Older kids are more likely to remember what is happening right now, while younger kiddos will probably forget most of it.
“Children under the age of 4 years old are unlikely to retain any first-hand memories of this pandemic later in their lives,” Steven Meyers, a professor of psychology at Roosevelt University in Illinois, told HuffPost.
Meanwhile, kids in elementary school might remember that they were out of school for a stretch, Meyers said, and that people wore masks in public. Older kids and teens will retain a much fuller account of everything happening right now.
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But age isn’t everything when it comes to memory formation, which is a complex, layered process. The experts say personality can play a major role as well.
“It really depends on the child,” said Jenny Yip, a Los Angeles-based clinical psychologist. “I have twins, and they have completely different personalities. One kid is more cautious, he’s more observant ― we have to be a bit more careful about what we say around him. The other kid is like, ‘Whatever!’”
In other words, certain kids are just more likely to hang onto everything that’s happening around them.
They are more likely to remember intense emotions.
“Children are much more likely to recall elements of the pandemic that affect their lives directly and vividly,” Meyers said.
If a friend or family member becomes very sick with or dies from COVID-19, that can certainly become a painful permanent memory. But just feeling really afraid of the coronavirus or really sad about all of the changes happening around them could stick with our kiddos, too. That’s one reason why it is so important for parents to be careful about what they’re telling their children about the pandemic — and how.
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“Anything that is emotionally salient, kids will remember more often,” said Yip. “If you’re able to separate facts from emotions somewhat, you can really help them walk away from this not as emotionally affected.”
“Singular events, other than those which are truly traumatic, rarely have a long-term effect on children’s emotional and social development. By and large, children are resilient.” - Mark Reinecke, clinical director of the Child Mind Institute's San Francisco Bay Area center
They’re also more likely to retain a broad overview of life from this time.
“Singular events, other than those which are truly traumatic, rarely have a long-term effect on children’s emotional and social development,” said Mark Reinecke, a clinical psychologist and clinical director of the Child Mind Institute’s San Francisco Bay Area center. “By and large, children are resilient.”
But COVID-19 isn’t one event ― it’s many, he said.
“How each child, and family, responds will depend on their life situation,” said Reinecke. “What specific challenges and traumas have they faced? Did a family member die? Was a parent a doctor or a nurse working on the front line? Did a sibling become infected? Did a parent lose their job? Did the family business go bankrupt?”
Of course, so many of those things are completely out of parents’ control. But it can be helpful to remember what is in your hands: letting your children know that while they are in your care, they are safe and loved.
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Focus on the positives when possible.
Having some fun with your kid can make a big difference in what they remember down the road, the experts say. Maintain a sense of hope, Reinecke urged, and be really open with your kids about it. Tell them that a positive future lies ahead and that we can help bring it about.
“Create oases of normalcy or happiness when you can. This not only helps children’s well-being but may become part of what children ultimately remember,” said Meyers. “Enjoyable times and special moments are encoded in long-term memory as well as the difficult parts.”
He was quick to add, however, that parents should not be hard on themselves right now. If you don’t have it in you to be the fun, jolly parent these days, don’t beat yourself up about it. “Good enough is good enough,” Meyers said.
How we frame this after the fact matters, too.
Both Meyers and Reinecke emphasized the role that family narratives and artifacts (photos, news articles, journals, etc.) play in subsequent memory formation — and this is certainly a well-documented crisis. Kids will “create their own memory and narrative of these times” in part through the images they see now, the news they read and hear, and so on.
The stories we tell our kids will also directly shape how they recall this stretch in their lives. It can help to remind children of the life skills they’re gaining and the values they learning from all of this, like how crucial they are to your family.
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“I want them to remember this as a learning experience about resiliency,” Yip said of her own children. “I hope to be able to say to them, ‘Oh, look at that time. That was one of the worst events that’s happened in this century, and we survived it.’”


huffpost--2020-05-20--Clinginess And Separation Anxiety Are The COVID-19 Problems No One Saw Coming

It is a strange aspect of parenting during the coronavirus pandemic that you can spend so ( soooo ) many hours with your kids during the week , and they can still be hungry for more of your time and attention .
But many parents are dealing with clingy kids right now and wondering how they ’ ll keep it together when things reopen — whenever and however that happens in their area .
Here ’ s the 411 on kids and clinginess , and how to cope .
Kids cling because they ’ re looking to feel safe .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ perceived threat and anxiety .
In evolutionary terms , offspring of all species are more likely to survive if they stay close to their parents for protection when danger is imminent , ” he told HuffPost .
“ Children have this encoded into their biology , and it can be triggered by the stresses and uncertainties of a global pandemic.
” Older kids might also regress into some clinginess right now .
But these days parents of older children might also have kids who are hanging on to them , and the experts @ @ @ @ @ @ @ t necessarily surprising .
So your 9-year-old who used to be pretty adept at independent play might be following you around the house all day like a shadow .
Or you might suddenly find your tween or teen wants to crawl into bed and cuddle at night .
If you have any concerns about an older child who seems to be especially clingy or regressing in a way that ’ s giving you pause , all three experts interviewed for this article emphasized the importance of talking to their pediatrician or a mental @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that any parent wants to hear right now is that establishing routines is important .
Whatever enthusiasm parents had for creating daily schedules way back when school was first canceled is , for so many burnt-out mothers and fathers , long gone .
“ Many children have become more clingy towards their parents [ because ] they have fewer avenues to socialize with others.
” - Steven Meyers , professor of psychology at Roosevelt University in Illinois One strategy for vanquishing — or at least reducing — clinginess is to make sure those @ @ @ @ @ @ @ uninterrupted kid/parent time .
Play a board game together , Yip said .
Sit down and build or read a book .
Giving them your undivided attention for a bit can fill them up emotionally so they ’ re less likely to hang on you during other stretches on the schedule .
It ’ s also worth noting that if kids have some level of routine in place , the shift back to life outside the house won ’ t necessarily be as jarring or feel as dramatic .
So to try to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fall ( or whenever school resumes ) , try to stick with some level of daily scheduling throughout the summer , Yip recommended .
Try your best to model calmness and confidence .
Kids are remarkably ( perhaps annoyingly ) perceptive .
So even if you ’ re doing your best to keep them away from too much news or maintaining some level of routine at home , they might be picking up on other emotions from you that are making them uneasy .
In turn , they might cling to you even @ @ @ @ @ @ @ just check in with yourself and your partner about the kinds of messages you ’ re putting out there .
Experts aren ’ t saying you can ’ t or shouldn ’ t acknowledge how hard this all is , but you should be really mindful of how much fear or anxiety they can feel coming from you .
That will also help set them up for an eventual return to school or day care or a one-on-one provider , because it will ground them in some level of confidence that you ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ an unsafe position .
And remember , you ’ re all they ’ ve got right now .
Many kids are really sad about all of the changes they ’ ve experienced in the past few months — no school , no friends , no sports or music classes , none of the routines and socializing they ’ re used to .
Sure , they have Zoom or whatever their chosen video conferencing platform is , but it ’ s not the same thing .
As far as in-person support and attention , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ve got .

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It is a strange aspect of parenting during the coronavirus pandemic that you can spend so (soooo) many hours with your kids during the week, and they can still be hungry for more of your time and attention.
But many parents are dealing with clingy kids right now and wondering how they’ll keep it together when things reopen — whenever and however that happens in their area. Here’s the 411 on kids and clinginess, and how to cope.
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Kids cling because they’re looking to feel safe.
One major reason why kids cling to their parents is because they are trying really hard to help themselves feel safe and comforted, explained Steven Meyers, a professor of psychology at Roosevelt University in Illinois.
“Clinginess is an instinctual response to perceived threat and anxiety. In evolutionary terms, offspring of all species are more likely to survive if they stay close to their parents for protection when danger is imminent,” he told HuffPost. “Children have this encoded into their biology, and it can be triggered by the stresses and uncertainties of a global pandemic.”
Clinging, then, is the visible manifestation of your child’s effort to cope with all of the changes and the uncertainty in their world right now.
To help, try to dig into the specific source (or sources) of their unease.
“The question becomes, what exactly are they anxious about? Contracting the illness? Death? Like so many things, clinginess should be understood in context,” Mark Reinecke, a clinical psychologist and clinical director of the Child Mind Institute’s San Francisco Bay Area center, told HuffPost.
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Older kids might also regress into some clinginess right now.
Clinginess can be a developmental phase for babies, toddlers and preschoolers — and it is absolutely “age-typical” for younger children, Meyers said.
But these days parents of older children might also have kids who are hanging on to them, and the experts say that kind of regression isn’t necessarily surprising. So your 9-year-old who used to be pretty adept at independent play might be following you around the house all day like a shadow. Or you might suddenly find your tween or teen wants to crawl into bed and cuddle at night.
“Older children may regress under acute stress and act in ways that aren’t as common for their current age,” Meyers said. “This regression is a threat-based response to increase perceived safety, receive comfort and reduce anxiety.”
If you have any concerns about an older child who seems to be especially clingy or regressing in a way that’s giving you pause, all three experts interviewed for this article emphasized the importance of talking to their pediatrician or a mental health professional.
Keeping routines is essential.
Probably the last advice that any parent wants to hear right now is that establishing routines is important. Whatever enthusiasm parents had for creating daily schedules way back when school was first canceled is, for so many burnt-out mothers and fathers, long gone.
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But experts say that creating daily routines goes way deeper than keeping your kid on track academically; it’s about giving them an underlying sense of security that is very important right now.
“Many children have become more clingy towards their parents [because] they have fewer avenues to socialize with others.” - Steven Meyers, professor of psychology at Roosevelt University in Illinois
“Routines provide kids with the structure and expectations about what happens during the day,” said Jenny Yip, a Los Angeles-based clinical psychologist.
“It can be a flexible, relaxed schedule,” she added, just something that gives them kind of an emotional home base to return to.
One strategy for vanquishing — or at least reducing — clinginess is to make sure those daily routines and schedules include stretches of uninterrupted kid/parent time. Play a board game together, Yip said. Sit down and build or read a book. Giving them your undivided attention for a bit can fill them up emotionally so they’re less likely to hang on you during other stretches on the schedule.
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It’s also worth noting that if kids have some level of routine in place, the shift back to life outside the house won’t necessarily be as jarring or feel as dramatic. So to try to get ahead of separation anxiety in the fall (or whenever school resumes), try to stick with some level of daily scheduling throughout the summer, Yip recommended.
Try your best to model calmness and confidence.
Kids are remarkably (perhaps annoyingly) perceptive. So even if you’re doing your best to keep them away from too much news or maintaining some level of routine at home, they might be picking up on other emotions from you that are making them uneasy. In turn, they might cling to you even more, looking for reassurance.
So just check in with yourself and your partner about the kinds of messages you’re putting out there. Experts aren’t saying you can’t or shouldn’t acknowledge how hard this all is, but you should be really mindful of how much fear or anxiety they can feel coming from you. That will also help set them up for an eventual return to school or day care or a one-on-one provider, because it will ground them in some level of confidence that you’re not going to put them in an unsafe position.
“In ambiguous situations, young children turn to their parents for guidelines on how to respond,” Reinecke said. “If the parent is confident and self-assured, the child will perceive this. Is the child’s anxiety inadvertently being modeled or maintained at home?”
And remember, you’re all they’ve got right now.
Many kids are really sad about all of the changes they’ve experienced in the past few months — no school, no friends, no sports or music classes, none of the routines and socializing they’re used to. Sure, they have Zoom or whatever their chosen video conferencing platform is, but it’s not the same thing. As far as in-person support and attention, you’re really all they’ve got.
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“Many children have become more clingy towards their parents [because] they have fewer avenues to socialize with others,” Meyers said. “People provide us all with connection and stimulation, and there are few options when we’re stuck at home.”
Experts are still learning about the novel coronavirus. The information in this story is what was known or available as of press time, but its guidance around COVID-19 could change as scientists discover more about the virus. Please check the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for the most updated recommendations.


huffpost--2020-05-19--7 Warning Signs You're Not Being The Best Lockdown Partner

Spending what feels like ceaseless hours with someone else is no walk in the park , whether that person is your significant other , your family member or your roommate .
( Speaking of walks , you probably wish whomever you live with would take a very long one every now and then . )
Of course , it ’ s not always your housemate that ’ s the problem .
We all can get a little irritating under the duress of a pandemic .
As week 10 of lockdown approaches for folks in some states , we figured it @ @ @ @ @ @ @ over some signs that you could be a better lockdown partner .
1 .
You ’ re passive-aggressive about your needs .
When you transitioned to working from home , you may have noticed that you and your housemate have different habits and needs on the job .
You think it ’ s fine to pop in and out of your roommate ’ s workspace , for example , but they might prefer a respectful knock first , at the very least .
If you haven ’ t talked about how each of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be discussed , agreed upon and followed ASAP , said Kurt Smith , a therapist in Roseville , California .
He used an example from his own practice to illustrate how important this point is .
“ One client I ’ m counseling has his video meetings interrupted by his wife , who just walks into his home office anytime she has something to tell him because he ’ s now so available , ” Smith said .
“ He wants to be understanding , but his work is suffering and he feels @ @ @ @ @ @ @ his work the way she should .
This type of stuff really needs to be discussed.
” 3 .
Your body language speaks volumes — and not in a good way .
“ When experiencing anxiety , especially in prolonged situations such as with this shelter in place , we tend to lose a bit of our normal moral reasoning , ” she said .
“ When we do , our body tends to tell a tale of how annoyed and irritated we are with nonverbal cues .
For instance , an eye @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ re suddenly living with family , spending more time than ever with your S.O .
or truly never wanted to see this much of your roommate , it ’ s natural that your fuse may be a little short .
And it ’ s not like you can seek respite at work or by making plans with your friends .
You ’ re essentially stuck together .
Maintaining a healthy work-life balance can be especially challenging when you ’ re sheltering in place .
Your home is your workplace .
Come Friday @ @ @ @ @ @ @ easy to allow your heavy workload to carry over into your weekend .
That ’ s probably no big deal if you ’ re living with a roommate , but it can be problematic if you live with your family or partner .
In fact , Smith said he ’ s currently counseling a couple dealing with this problem .
“ The husband used to stay at the office until after 7 p.m. and not get home until 8 , ” the therapist said .
But now that he ’ s working from @ @ @ @ @ @ @ adjustments : “ He [ stops ] to have dinner with the family and then goes back to work for a few more hours afterwards .
”

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Having to quarantine during the coronavirus crisis has made living together more challenging than ever.
Spending what feels like ceaseless hours with someone else is no walk in the park, whether that person is your significant other, your family member or your roommate. (Speaking of walks, you probably wish whomever you live with would take a very long one every now and then.)
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Of course, it’s not always your housemate that’s the problem. We all can get a little irritating under the duress of a pandemic. As week 10 of lockdown approaches for folks in some states, we figured it might be a good time to go over some signs that you could be a better lockdown partner.
1. You’re passive-aggressive about your needs.
We’re all experiencing and adapting to this weird new normal. In the process, we’re finding more things that irk us (on top of all our worn-in pet peeves).
Maybe you’re an introvert staying with your parents right now, secretly feeling smothered and in need of a personal timeout. Or maybe you’re a clean freak with a roommate whose tidying habits have gone from chaotic neutral to completely unacceptable. To maintain the peace, you’re keeping your frustration to yourself.
So how does that make you the bad guy? When you don’t speak up about how your needs aren’t being met, all that pent-up discontent is bound to bubble to the surface eventually and result in some tense interactions with your roomie.
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“You aren’t doing anyone a favor here when you keep quiet about how you feel,” said Brittany Bouffard, a psychotherapist in Denver. “If you’ve set a precedent that you don’t need anything ― whether it’s more time alone, better COVID precautions, the dishes done ― you’ll feel the wrath soon of agitation toward your space sharers.”
To break the vicious cycle, stop quietly enduring and start talking about what’s bugging you. (Heck, your housemate will probably have some grievances to share, too.)
“Not speaking up to ‘keep the peace’ usually leads to you feeling neglected and in a disappointed funk with your space mate,” Bouffard said. “Kindly speak up ― and ask what someone else is needing, too!”
2. You’re not respecting work boundaries.
When you transitioned to working from home, you may have noticed that you and your housemate have different habits and needs on the job. You think it’s fine to pop in and out of your roommate’s workspace, for example, but they might prefer a respectful knock first, at the very least.
If you haven’t talked about how each of you operates, new boundaries need to be discussed, agreed upon and followed ASAP, said Kurt Smith, a therapist in Roseville, California. He used an example from his own practice to illustrate how important this point is.
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“One client I’m counseling has his video meetings interrupted by his wife, who just walks into his home office anytime she has something to tell him because he’s now so available,” Smith said. “He wants to be understanding, but his work is suffering and he feels she’s not respecting him and his work the way she should. This type of stuff really needs to be discussed.”
Maskot via Getty Images Make sure to establish some rules and boundaries for working from home.
3. Your body language speaks volumes — and not in a good way.
Careful with those eye rolls and heavy, annoyed sighs. Your body language could be creating a tension-filled home, said Karla Ivankovich, a counselor in Chicago.
“When experiencing anxiety, especially in prolonged situations such as with this shelter in place, we tend to lose a bit of our normal moral reasoning,” she said. “When we do, our body tends to tell a tale of how annoyed and irritated we are with nonverbal cues. For instance, an eye roll or cold shoulder.”
Dismissive body language like that can be especially damaging to couples’ relationships. According to renowned psychology researcher John Gottman ― who’s spent 40 years studying what makes or breaks relationships ― contemptuous behavior like eye-rolling, sarcasm and name-calling is the number one predictor of divorce.
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4. You’re a slob.
Right now you’re in close quarters with someone all day, every day. That calls for a certain level of tidiness, no? When a roommate or partner doesn’t carry their weight on household chores, then the other is inevitably left feeling disrespected and unsupported, said Amy Rollo, a psychotherapist in Houston Heights, Texas.
“Resentment builds,” she said. “The good news is that household chores are a solvable problem that can be fixed with open communication. Open and direct communication of needs, as well as splitting up the tasks each week, can remedy this situation.”
5. You have a short fuse.
Whether you’re suddenly living with family, spending more time than ever with your S.O. or truly never wanted to see this much of your roommate, it’s natural that your fuse may be a little short. And it’s not like you can seek respite at work or by making plans with your friends. You’re essentially stuck together.
If it’s your S.O. you’re lashing out at, you might need to sit down together and talk about your problems using “we” language.
“Discuss ideas around solo time, chores, working from home together or even new parenting strategy,” Bouffard said. “Don’t let negative moments build without discussing them.”
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Once you start talking, make a point to check in every week or two. “Just like everything regarding COVID-19, your feelings or needs could change daily or weekly,” she said.
If it’s your roommate you’re going after lately, new rules or boundaries need to be established, too.
“Discuss who gets the living room when, a chore schedule, maybe what you can do outside safely to give each other some space,” Bouffard said. “Start the conversation ASAP if you haven’t already.”
Tetra Images via Getty Images Boundaries in the home need to be discussed so you're not irrationally lashing out at your S.O. or your roommate.
6. You’re working the same long hours.
Maintaining a healthy work-life balance can be especially challenging when you’re sheltering in place. Your home is your workplace. Come Friday night, it’s all too easy to allow your heavy workload to carry over into your weekend. That’s probably no big deal if you’re living with a roommate, but it can be problematic if you live with your family or partner. In fact, Smith said he’s currently counseling a couple dealing with this problem.
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“The husband used to stay at the office until after 7 p.m. and not get home until 8,” the therapist said. But now that he’s working from home, the husband has made some adjustments: “He [stops] to have dinner with the family and then goes back to work for a few more hours afterwards.”
It may not be an ideal situation ― ideally, the husband’s job would allow him to truly disconnect after work hours ― but Smith said he counts it as growth for the couple.
“At least the husband’s willingness to make some adjustments has resulted in an improved relationship with his wife and kids, and he’s still getting nearly the same amount of work done as before,” Smith said.
7. You’re withdrawing from your family.
In the beginning, many looked at this stay-at-home period as an opportunity to reconnect with their loved ones and maybe even engage in a simpler, more family-centric way of life.
As lockdown has stretched into months, though, not all of us are singing “Kumbaya” like we were before. Many of us are looking for an escape any way we can get it ― usually online.
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“As time has passed and we are exiting month two, with no real end in sight, I see a lot of clients starting to withdraw into the devil they know: social media,” Ivankovich said. “There’s no rationalizing anymore that this time home is a gift and we should all be thrilled.”
While there’s nothing wrong with taking some time for yourself away from your family (in fact, it would be unhealthy not to do so), now is not the time to withdraw completely. With so much uncertainty outside your front door ― financial devastation, a staggering national death toll from the coronavirus ― embracing family time can make everyone feel safer, reassured and supported.
“In this time, consider those in your home and push through the desire to withdraw and isolate yourself from those around you,” Ivankovich said. “Your online family matters, but for most of us, your family at home matters more.”
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huffpost--2020-05-20--How To Ditch Diets Forever And Still Feel Good In Your Body

If you couldn ’ t lose weight on a diet , it isn ’ t your fault ― there ’ @ @ @ @ @ long-term weight loss just doesn ’ t happen for most people .
Because we live @ @ @ @ @ think the solution to one failed diet is to find another , “ better ” @ @ @ @ @ weight stigma are bad for our physical and mental health .
The anti-diet movement isn @ @ @ @ @ dieting , it ’ s about understanding that bodies can be healthy at any size @ @ @ @ @ harder for someone in a larger body to reject diets and diet culture because of @ @ @ @ @ A life without dieting might be hard to imagine , but it ’ s possible @ @ @ @ @ to do it .

Tim Robberts via Getty Images “Diets have morphed and shape-shifted into this wellness thing that’s now so much harder to detect,” says registered dietitian Christy Harrison.
In February 2020, when I spoke with registered dietitian Christy Harrison about her recently released “Anti-Diet” book, I didn’t realize that the world was about to change so drastically.
We talked about the pervasiveness of diet culture ― the belief system that champions the thin (usually white, cisgender) ideal, that says certain ways of eating are good and others are bad, and that encourages weight loss at all costs. It’s in marketing, health care, our own views of ourselves. Although things look very different these days, all of that is still true.
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Diet culture is even more prevalent in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic. Wellness brands are preying on our fears and uncertainty by offering supplements. More time to scroll through social media and all of the perfectly chosen images leaves us feeling more insecure about our own bodies.
Most glaringly, there’s so, so much fearmongering about pandemic-related weight gain that even someone who typically has a good relationship with food might feel pressure to start a diet. Those who struggle with an eating disorder or disordered eating might feel these pressures even more acutely.
In “Anti-Diet,” Harrison chronicles the history of diet culture, uses evidence to point out the flaws in our strongly held beliefs about weight, and gives some insight into how to finally stop judging ourselves and others for the shape of our bodies and the food we eat.
And there’s no better time to heed those lessons than right now, when the pressure to “watch what we eat” is through the roof (despite the fact that we’re battling a global health crisis totally unrelated to food).
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Below, Harrison breaks down some ugly truths about dieting and advice on how you can ditch the horrible cycle for good. Because, yes, it’s possible to ditch diet culture and feel good in your own body.
If you couldn’t lose weight on a diet, it isn’t your fault ― there’s tons of evidence that long-term weight loss just doesn’t happen for most people.
The idea that diets don’t work is nothing new. In “Anti-Diet,” Harrison traces the belief that 95% of diets fail back to a 1959 literature review that looked at past weight loss studies. The review found that, basically, no diet or intervention proved consistently effective for weight loss.
And this still holds true: A 2013 review of several weight-loss studies found that diets do typically lead to short-term weight loss, but that most people regain the weight within five years. A similar 2011 review found that many dieters actually regain more weight than they initially lost.
“In any other case, we would be so quick to say, ‘This thing didn’t work for me, this product is the problem.’ But with diets, we think, ‘I’m the problem.'” - Christy Harrison, author of “Anti-Diet”
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Harrison described this initial weight loss that diets bring as the honeymoon phase.
“I think often when it’s a person’s first diet ever, there’s a honeymoon phase of dieting where you do see weight loss ― although not everyone does ― and you feel like you’ll be able to stick to it because there are no complications,” she told HuffPost. “There’s the feeling of, ‘It’s working! It’s happening!’”
But none of that lasts. “The body gets wise and starts to feel the effects of starvation,” Harrison said. “On average, people will lose weight for about six months to a year, and then at the year mark they start regaining the weight, and the rate of weight regain speeds up over time.”
A lot of people aren’t even able to make it to this six-month mark, she said, “because the starvation response really kicks in and pushes people to start eating more than they were before the diet, which oftentimes leads to binging.”
In other words: The obsession and out-of-control feeling around food that often happens several months into a diet isn’t a personal failing, it’s a biological response.
Because we live in diet culture, people think the solution to one failed diet is to find another, “better” diet.
Habitually jumping from one restrictive eating plan to another is so commonplace that we have a name for it: yo-yo dieting.
But, as any past or current yo-yo dieters know, even very different diets tend to lead to the same result: initial weight loss, eventual weight regain.
“It’s ridiculous,” Harrison said. “In any other case, we would be so quick to say, ‘This thing didn’t work for me, this product is the problem.’ But with diets, we think, ‘I’m the problem. Maybe this one isn’t for me, maybe I’m not meant to be an intermittent faster, maybe I’ll be a keto or Whole30 person instead.’ So we see people jumping from diet to diet to diet.”
AndreyPopov via Getty Images “Oftentimes people who have lived in diet culture their whole lives have this accumulation of rules,” said Christy Harrison. Question why you still hold up these rules from diets that didn’t serve you, then work on ignoring them.
Weight cycling and weight stigma are bad for our physical and mental health.
Although plenty of people diet for aesthetic reasons, health is also a motivator. Those who live in larger bodies are often told by their doctors (and, sometimes, their friends and family) to diet and lose weight to improve their health outcomes. But that advice often leads to more harm than good.
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“No matter what weight a person is at, even controlling for BMI, weight cycling is an independent risk factor for all these things that get blamed on weight itself: heart disease, diabetes, some forms of cancer, and mortality,” Harrison said. “When we diet, we’re almost inevitably going to end up weight cycling. That’s going to put our bodies at greater risk than just saying the same weight, even if that’s a higher weight.”
The anti-diet movement isn’t just about not dieting, it’s about understanding that bodies can be healthy at any size.
The idea that more weight is an inherently bad thing is flawed. Many people at higher weights are metabolically healthy, Harrison said. (And, of course, it’s possible to be metabolically unhealthy at a lower weight.) A 2015 study of over 100,000 people in Denmark found that those in the “overweight” category lived the longest, on average ― a conclusion that’s consistent with past findings.
In response to this evidence, the Health at Every Size movement encourages people to “accept and respect the inherent diversity of body shapes and sizes and reject the idealizing or pathologizing of specific weights.” It also aims to end weight stigma and discrimination and to make the world more accessible to all people, no matter their weight.
It’s important to understand all of this if you want to truly reject diet culture, give up dieting and become a more intuitive eater, Harrison said. Intuitive or mindful eating encourages you to focus on your hunger and fullness cues, pushes you to slow down and enjoy meals, and doesn’t vilify any foods. It’s not a diet program; it’s a lifestyle habit.
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It can be much harder for someone in a larger body to reject diets and diet culture because of the discrimination they face.
Throughout the book, Harrison acknowledges her privilege as a thin, white, cisgender woman. When you live in a body that society deems “acceptable,” quitting dieting is easier than it might be for someone who lives in a more marginalized body.
“People in much larger bodies do face discrimination every single day, and it’s natural to want to lose weight as a way to escape that,” said Kimmie Singh, an anti-diet dietitian and fat body liberation activist.
“If you’re someone in a smaller body who’s working toward body acceptance and becoming a more intuitive eater, make sure you also work on accepting all bodies and body sizes to help all people feel safe stepping away from dieting.”
Singh gives her clients background and evidence about why diets don’t work and encourages them not to pursue weight loss, but ultimately leaves the choice up to them. If you’re someone in a smaller body who’s working toward body acceptance and becoming a more intuitive eater, make sure you also work on accepting all bodies and body sizes to help all people feel safe stepping away from dieting.
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A life without dieting might be hard to imagine, but it’s possible. Here’s how to do it.
The first obstacle in quitting diets for good is that these days, so many of them claim not to be diets at all.
“Diets have morphed and shape-shifted into this wellness thing that’s now so much harder to detect,” Harrison said. “The ‘wellness diet’ is about demonizing some foods while elevating others; eating the supposedly ‘right’ things and removing the supposedly ‘wrong’ things. It promises health and moral superiority, but it almost always promises thinness, as well.”
Harrison recommends rejecting any diet or “wellness” lifestyle that comes with rules ― eat this not that, eat X amount, only eat between the hours of Y and Z. Even once you do this, you might find that you have a lot of old food rules swimming around in your head.
As an early step in the journey to rejecting diet culture and becoming a more intuitive eater, Harrison encourages clients to write down any food rules or thoughts that pop into their heads during the day.
“It’s fascinating to see. Usually there are dozens of these thoughts throughout the day,” she said. “You realize, ‘Anytime I start to think about food, these rules or these judgments pop up.’ Just becoming aware is the first step.”
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Then, you can start to question any rules you might have.
“Oftentimes people who have lived in diet culture their whole lives have this accumulation of rules,” Harrison said. “They can even be from completely contradictory diets ― like demonizing fat and demonizing carbs.”
Question why you still hold up these rules from diets that didn’t serve you, then work on ignoring them.
Don’t be surprised if eating without food rules or judgment feels a little out of control at first.
“Your brain and body have been so deprived that there’s going to be this pendulum swing back from the side of restriction to the side of eating all the food,” Harrison said. “I call it the restriction pendulum.”
But this doesn’t last forever. “Eventually you really will be able to settle in the middle, and get to a place of peace and balance with food,” she said.
The reward goes far beyond just a better relationship with food and body. “It’s amazing to see what happens for people when they’re eating intuitively,” Harrison added.
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At first, learning to be an intuitive eater takes some effort. But once you click into it and aren’t constantly obsessing about what you can and can’t eat, you get so much brain space back.


huffpost--2020-05-19--Trump Allies Recruiting 'Pro-Trump' Doctors To Prescribe Rapid Reopening

The plan was discussed in a May 11 conference call with a senior staffer for the Trump reelection campaign organized by CNP Action , an affiliate of the GOP-aligned Council for National Policy .
A leaked recording of the hour-long call was provided to The Associated Press by the Center for Media and Democracy , a progressive watchdog group .
“ Anybody who joins one of our coalitions is vetted , ” Murtaugh said Monday .
“ And so quite obviously , all of our coalitions espouse policies and say things that are , of course , exactly simpatico with @ @ @ @ @ @ @ president has been outspoken about the fact that he wants to get the country back open as soon as possible.
” During an emergency such as the current pandemic , it ’ s important that the government provide consistent science-based information to the public , said Dr. Wafaa El-Sadr , an epidemiology professor at Columbia University ’ s Mailman School of Public Health .
Dr. Anthony Fauci , the nation ’ s top infectious disease expert and a member of the White House ’ s coronavirus task force , has been among the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ lockdowns too quickly could lead to a spike in deaths .
“ I find it totally irresponsible to have physicians who are touting some information that ’ s not anchored in evidence and not anchored in science , ” El-Sadr said .
“ What often creates confusion is the many voices that are out there , and many of those voices do have a political interest , which is the hugely dangerous situation we are at now.
” “ There is a coalition of doctors who are extremely pro-Trump that have been preparing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in the campaign on health care , ” Schulze said on the call .
“ And we have doctors that are … in the trenches , that are saying ‘ It ’ s time to reopen.
’ ” “ The president ’ s going to get tagged by the fake news media as being irresponsible and not listening to doctors , ” Matt Schlapp said on the call .
“ And so we have to gird his loins with a lot of other people .
So I think what Nancy ’ s talking @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that we highlight them.
” “ There is a big dynamic in the national media that will not give President Trump any credit , ” he said .
“ It ’ s important to get the message out there that most people recover from corona .
Most people are not in mortal danger with corona and that we can safely open up the economy.
” As several Republican governors moved last week to lift their state lockdowns , the National Ensemble Forecast used by the CDC to predict COVID-19 infections and deaths saw @ @ @ @ @ @ @ forecasts the U.S. will exceed 100,000 deaths by June 1 , a grim milestone that previously was not predicted to occur until late in the summer .
Schulze , who was working to organize the pro-Trump doctors , did not respond to messages from AP seeking comment .
But after the AP contacted the Trump campaign seeking comment for this story , a Washington public relations firm that frequently works for conservative groups distributed an open letter to Trump signed by more than 400 doctors calling the state coronavirus lockdowns a “ mass @ @ @ @ @ @ @ casualties ” from alcoholism , homelessness , suicide and other causes .
“ It is impossible to overstate the short , medium , and long-term harm to people ’ s health with a continued shutdown , ” the letter said .
“ Losing a job is one of life ’ s most stressful events , and the effect on a person ’ s health is not lessened because it also has happened to 30 million other people .
Keeping schools and universities closed is incalculably detrimental for children , teenagers , and young @ @ @ @ @ @ @ first signature on the letter was Dr. Simone Gold , an emergency medicine specialist in Los Angeles who is listed as a member of the Save Our Country Coalition on the group ’ s website .
She has recently appeared on conservative talk radio and podcast programs to advocate for the use of hydroxychloroquine , a malaria drug that Trump says he is taking because he believes it can prevent COVID-19 , even though no research has shown it to be effective .
Gold said she has prescribed the drug to two of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ told AP on Tuesday she started speaking out against shelter-in-place and other infection control measures because there was “ no scientific basis that the average American should be concerned ” about COVID-19 .
Like the president , she is advocating for a fast reopening , and argues that because the majority of deaths so far have been the elderly and people with preexisting conditions , younger people should be working .

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WASHINGTON (AP) — Republican political operatives are recruiting “pro-Trump” doctors to go on television to prescribe reviving the U.S. economy as quickly as possible, without waiting to meet safety benchmarks proposed by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to slow the spread of the new coronavirus.
The plan was discussed in a May 11 conference call with a senior staffer for the Trump reelection campaign organized by CNP Action, an affiliate of the GOP-aligned Council for National Policy. A leaked recording of the hour-long call was provided to The Associated Press by the Center for Media and Democracy, a progressive watchdog group.
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CNP Action is part of the Save Our Country Coalition, an alliance of conservative think tanks and political committees formed in late April to end state lockdowns implemented in response to the pandemic. Other members of the coalition include the FreedomWorks Foundation, the American Legislative Exchange Council and Tea Party Patriots.
A resurgent economy is seen as critical to boosting President Donald Trump’s reelection hopes and has become a growing focus of the White House coronavirus task force led by Vice President Mike Pence.
Tim Murtaugh, the Trump campaign communications director, confirmed to AP that an effort to recruit doctors to publicly support the president is underway, but declined to say when the initiative would be rolled out.
“Anybody who joins one of our coalitions is vetted,” Murtaugh said Monday. “And so quite obviously, all of our coalitions espouse policies and say things that are, of course, exactly simpatico with what the president believes. ... The president has been outspoken about the fact that he wants to get the country back open as soon as possible.”
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During an emergency such as the current pandemic, it’s important that the government provide consistent science-based information to the public, said Dr. Wafaa El-Sadr, an epidemiology professor at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health. Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation’s top infectious disease expert and a member of the White House’s coronavirus task force, has been among the most visible government experts warning that lifting lockdowns too quickly could lead to a spike in deaths.
El-Sadr said having doctors relay contradictory information on behalf of the president is “quite alarming.”
“I find it totally irresponsible to have physicians who are touting some information that’s not anchored in evidence and not anchored in science,” El-Sadr said. “What often creates confusion is the many voices that are out there, and many of those voices do have a political interest, which is the hugely dangerous situation we are at now.”
Murtaugh said the campaign is not concerned about contradicting government experts.
“Our job at the campaign is to reflect President Trump’s point of view,” Murtaugh said. “We are his campaign. There is no difference between us and him.”
On the May 11 call, Nancy Schulze, a GOP activist who is married to former Rep. Dick Schulze, R-Pa., said she had given the campaign a list of 27 doctors prepared to defend Trump’s reopening push.
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“There is a coalition of doctors who are extremely pro-Trump that have been preparing and coming together for the war ahead in the campaign on health care,” Schulze said on the call. “And we have doctors that are … in the trenches, that are saying ‘It’s time to reopen.’”
The idea quickly gained support from Mercedes Schlapp, a Trump campaign senior adviser who previously served two years as the president’s director of strategic communications.
“Those are the types of guys that we should want to get out on TV and radio to help push out the message,” Schlapp said on the call.
“They’ve already been vetted. But they need to be put on the screens,” Schulze replied.
Schlapp’s husband agreed the president is getting criticized for not appearing to follow the advice of public health experts. Matt Schlapp is chairman of the American Conservative Union, which hosts the annual Conservative Political Action Conference attended by conservative luminaries.
“The president’s going to get tagged by the fake news media as being irresponsible and not listening to doctors,” Matt Schlapp said on the call. “And so we have to gird his loins with a lot of other people. So I think what Nancy’s talking about … this is the critical juncture that we highlight them.”
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Matt Schlapp told AP on Monday that he stood behind what he said on the leaked call.
“There is a big dynamic in the national media that will not give President Trump any credit,” he said. “It’s important to get the message out there that most people recover from corona. Most people are not in mortal danger with corona and that we can safely open up the economy.”
As several Republican governors moved last week to lift their state lockdowns, the National Ensemble Forecast used by the CDC to predict COVID-19 infections and deaths saw a corresponding increase. The CDC now forecasts the U.S. will exceed 100,000 deaths by June 1, a grim milestone that previously was not predicted to occur until late in the summer.
As of Tuesday, more than 1.5 million Americans had tested positive for COVID-19, with more than 91,000 deaths reported nationwide.
Experts, including Fauci, have said that is likely an undercount, with the true number being much higher. Meanwhile, Trump has suggested, without providing evidence, that the official death toll from the virus is being inflated.
Schulze, who was working to organize the pro-Trump doctors, did not respond to messages from AP seeking comment. But after the AP contacted the Trump campaign seeking comment for this story, a Washington public relations firm that frequently works for conservative groups distributed an open letter to Trump signed by more than 400 doctors calling the state coronavirus lockdowns a “mass casualty event” causing “millions of casualties” from alcoholism, homelessness, suicide and other causes.
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“It is impossible to overstate the short, medium, and long-term harm to people’s health with a continued shutdown,” the letter said. “Losing a job is one of life’s most stressful events, and the effect on a person’s health is not lessened because it also has happened to 30 million other people. Keeping schools and universities closed is incalculably detrimental for children, teenagers, and young adults for decades to come.”
The first signature on the letter was Dr. Simone Gold, an emergency medicine specialist in Los Angeles who is listed as a member of the Save Our Country Coalition on the group’s website. She has recently appeared on conservative talk radio and podcast programs to advocate for the use of hydroxychloroquine, a malaria drug that Trump says he is taking because he believes it can prevent COVID-19, even though no research has shown it to be effective. Gold said she has prescribed the drug to two of her patients with good results.
The Food and Drug Administration warned health professionals last month that the drug should not be used to treat COVID-19 outside of hospital or research settings due to sometimes fatal side effects.
Gold told AP on Tuesday she started speaking out against shelter-in-place and other infection control measures because there was “no scientific basis that the average American should be concerned” about COVID-19. Like the president, she is advocating for a fast reopening, and argues that because the majority of deaths so far have been the elderly and people with preexisting conditions, younger people should be working.
Gold denied she was coordinating her efforts with Trump’s reelection campaign.
“But put this in there: I’m honored to be considered,” she said.
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huffpost--2020-05-20--After 7 1/2 Months Sober, I Relapsed During Quarantine. Here's What Happened.

kieferpix via Getty Images `` I relapsed in quarantine because I was afraid of what was going to happen to me , the people I love , and the rest of the world in the wake of an international pandemic , '' the author writes .
Relapsing was shameful ― but I felt I had an excuse .
I had memorized all of the trivia cards in my deck and had done all of the puzzles at my house .
Drinking gave me a sense of relief that no game of Cards Against Humanity or episode of “ Tiger King @ @ @ @ @ @ @ earlier , I ’ d gone through a breakup that was directly caused by my drinking .
My partner and I had been fighting about the way I behaved when I drank .
My constant need to fulfill cravings for alcohol ruined our outings .
We only dated for six months , but my decline was rapid .
My partner could see the way addiction changed my behavior and attitude in a matter of weeks .
Along the way , I also had been shedding friends .
From getting carried out of clubs @ @ @ @ @ @ @ my erratic behavior scared off a lot of my friends because I didn ’ t just put myself at risk , I would put everyone around me in risky situations .
After my partner and I broke up , going home with men I had just met — while drunk — became a regular habit .
I would leave my friends in the blink of an eye for men I had met 20 minutes before .
I would skip out on birthday dinners or work celebrations to get drunk and swap stories with @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , playful person I once was had been transformed into a selfish , mean drunk .
Before quarantine , I felt I had finally become grounded in my sobriety .
I had just reestablished trust with family and friends .
I made amends with several friends who had seen me at my worst .
I could finally see myself staying sober and being happy that way .
I was using the alcohol to distract myself — from the fear that loved ones would die ; from the fear that I would lose my @ @ @ @ @ @ @ get another one ; from the fear that hospitals were going to run out of their limited supplies .
I usually call my sponsor when I get the desire to drink .
This time , I made the mistake of calling her after I made the choice to drink .
She advised me to take it one day at a time .
She told me stories of people whose lives had been ruined by relapse and reminded me that by drinking , I was only making things worse .
Despite her advice , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a week , I would order craft beers from exotic locations to make it seem as if I cared about the taste .
In reality , I was using the alcohol to distract myself — from the fear that loved ones would die ; from the fear that I would lose my job and might not be able to get another one ; from the fear that hospitals were going to run out of their limited supplies .
When I first started drinking again , I was under the illusion that I had @ @ @ @ @ @ @ my previous experience with alcohol , I would start with a glass or two of wine , and then stop drinking .
I felt like I had won the lottery when I was able to drink like a normal person .
I soon spiraled into classic alcoholic behavior .
I overslept and stopped attending Zoom meetings .
I began to put off work , exercise and socialization .
I started to lie to family and friends who asked about my sobriety .
I would order alcohol from Postmates and hide it under sweatshirts @ @ @ @ @ @ @ parents ’ house , where I was quarantining .
A collection of empty wine bottles began to pile up in my closet .
I brushed it all off as stress from social distancing .
When another scientist or political figure surmised how long we were going to remain inside , I comforted myself with “ just one more drink.
” Each time I prepared myself a cold glass of wine , it was an event that I looked forward to —and relied on — for my happiness .
A month into quarantine , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ by the end of a coronavirus news report .
I relapsed in quarantine because I was afraid of what was going to happen to me , the people I love , and the rest of the world in the wake of an international pandemic .
The world feels like a scarier place than it used to be .
It felt like alcohol was helping me cope with my fear , but actually , it was making everything worse .
Today I have set a routine for myself that has helped me stay sane @ @ @ @ @ @ @ but I continue to struggle with the occasional relapse .
I go for a walk , read poetry , do a puzzle , or call my sponsor .
But it does not fully take away the craving to drink .
I am encouraged to do Zoom meetings , but for me , virtual meetings can not replace the camaraderie that comes with getting in a circle and saying “ keep coming back.
” I speak to my sponsor every day , who understands why I have such a strong desire to drink amid @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I also still have the desire to stop drinking .
In the coming months , I will continue to try to adapt to this new way of life ― while staying sober .
Because while I can ’ t change the uncertainty of the world during the COVID-19 pandemic , I can change how I deal with it .

"I relapsed in quarantine because I was afraid of what was going to happen to me, the people I love, and the rest of the world in the wake of an international pandemic," the author writes. kieferpix via Getty Images
Two weeks into practicing social distancing due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I caved and had a drink.
Relapsing was shameful ― but I felt I had an excuse. I had memorized all of the trivia cards in my deck and had done all of the puzzles at my house. Drinking gave me a sense of relief that no game of Cards Against Humanity or episode of “Tiger King” could provide.
About a year earlier, I’d gone through a breakup that was directly caused by my drinking. My partner and I had been fighting about the way I behaved when I drank. My constant need to fulfill cravings for alcohol ruined our outings. We only dated for six months, but my decline was rapid. My partner could see the way addiction changed my behavior and attitude in a matter of weeks.
Advertisement
Along the way, I also had been shedding friends. From getting carried out of clubs to starting petty arguments with strangers, my erratic behavior scared off a lot of my friends because I didn’t just put myself at risk, I would put everyone around me in risky situations.
I was unreliable and started canceling or showing up late to events. I would rather spend time alone, surfing the internet and drinking by myself. My friends started to give up on me.
After my partner and I broke up, going home with men I had just met — while drunk — became a regular habit. I would leave my friends in the blink of an eye for men I had met 20 minutes before. I would skip out on birthday dinners or work celebrations to get drunk and swap stories with regulars at local bars. The bubbly, playful person I once was had been transformed into a selfish, mean drunk.
Alarmed by losing my relationship and my increasing distance from friends, I sought out a 30-day treatment program. Afterward, I started regularly attending 12-step meetings. I stayed sober for 7½ months.
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Before quarantine, I felt I had finally become grounded in my sobriety. I had just reestablished trust with family and friends. I made amends with several friends who had seen me at my worst. I could finally see myself staying sober and being happy that way.
But the isolation of living in quarantine made my obsession with alcohol worse. It was 10 days into quarantine when I ordered a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc and drank the whole thing.
“I was using the alcohol to distract myself — from the fear that loved ones would die; from the fear that I would lose my job and might not be able to get another one; from the fear that hospitals were going to run out of their limited supplies.”
I usually call my sponsor when I get the desire to drink. This time, I made the mistake of calling her after I made the choice to drink. She advised me to take it one day at a time. She told me stories of people whose lives had been ruined by relapse and reminded me that by drinking, I was only making things worse.
Despite her advice, I kept drinking. A few days a week, I would order craft beers from exotic locations to make it seem as if I cared about the taste. In reality, I was using the alcohol to distract myself — from the fear that loved ones would die; from the fear that I would lose my job and might not be able to get another one; from the fear that hospitals were going to run out of their limited supplies.
Advertisement
When I first started drinking again, I was under the illusion that I had regained a sense of control. Unlike my previous experience with alcohol, I would start with a glass or two of wine, and then stop drinking. I felt like I had won the lottery when I was able to drink like a normal person.
That quickly changed. Each time I drank, the amount of alcohol I consumed grew.
I soon spiraled into classic alcoholic behavior. I overslept and stopped attending Zoom meetings. I began to put off work, exercise and socialization. I started to lie to family and friends who asked about my sobriety. I would order alcohol from Postmates and hide it under sweatshirts and blankets when sneaking it into my parents’ house, where I was quarantining. A collection of empty wine bottles began to pile up in my closet. I brushed it all off as stress from social distancing.
When another scientist or political figure surmised how long we were going to remain inside, I comforted myself with “just one more drink.” Each time I prepared myself a cold glass of wine, it was an event that I looked forward to —and relied on — for my happiness. A month into quarantine, I finished an entire bottle of wine by the end of a coronavirus news report.
I relapsed in quarantine because I was afraid of what was going to happen to me, the people I love, and the rest of the world in the wake of an international pandemic. The world feels like a scarier place than it used to be. It felt like alcohol was helping me cope with my fear, but actually, it was making everything worse.
Today I have set a routine for myself that has helped me stay sane and cut back on drinking significantly, but I continue to struggle with the occasional relapse. I go for a walk, read poetry, do a puzzle, or call my sponsor. But it does not fully take away the craving to drink. I am encouraged to do Zoom meetings, but for me, virtual meetings cannot replace the camaraderie that comes with getting in a circle and saying “keep coming back.” I speak to my sponsor every day, who understands why I have such a strong desire to drink amid a crisis like this one.
Advertisement
But I also still have the desire to stop drinking. In the coming months, I will continue to try to adapt to this new way of life ― while staying sober. Because while I can’t change the uncertainty of the world during the COVID-19 pandemic, I can change how I deal with it.
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huffpost--2020-05-20--‘Schitt’s Creek’ Star Dan Levy Comes Up With Beautiful Way To Get People Wearing Masks

MSNBC ’ s Chris Hayes last week noted how “ not wearing a mask has kind of become a sort @ @ @ @ @ virtue-signaling by Trump people.
” President Donald Trump himself has repeatedly refused to wear one @ @ @ @ @ Disease Control and Prevention recommending “ wearing cloth face coverings in public settings where other @ @ @ @ @ to maintain ” and “ especially in areas of significant community-based transmission .
”

MSNBC’s Chris Hayes last week noted how “not wearing a mask has kind of become a sort of weird, culture war virtue-signaling by Trump people.”
President Donald Trump himself has repeatedly refused to wear one, despite the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommending “wearing cloth face coverings in public settings where other social distancing measures are difficult to maintain” and “especially in areas of significant community-based transmission.”