thoughtcatalog--2020-04-27--On Making Peace With Endings

On Making Peace With Endings

I have a tendency to hold on too tightly , to people , to places , and to moments , stretching out all of the goodness until the final breaking point .
I clench my fists until my knuckles are white and my palms have dark indentations forming from my nails digging in so deeply .
I wait until the expiration date has come and gone , until the goodbye is long overdue , before I am finally able to loosen my grip .
And even when I wait as long as possible , it pains me to let go @ @ @ @ @ @ @ so tightly because I want to – I wish endings were easier for me .
I wish letting go wasn ’ t so emotionally strenuous .
But I hold on out of fear – a fear of good stories coming to a close and a fear of releasing relationships that once meant the world to me .
I fear losing people who brought beauty into my life , and I fear saying goodbye to anyone or anything that touched me in an irreplaceable way .
I don ’ t know how to say @ @ @ @ @ @ @ changed for the better .
I guess I struggle to make peace with leaving behind something golden .
Nostalgia is defined as “ a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time ; a longing ; a wistfulness.
” But maybe nostalgia can happen in the present moment too .
Maybe it ’ s possible to feel nostalgic even before the present has become a memory .
Maybe it ’ s a fear of a “ place or time ” becoming a memory that makes letting go so incredibly difficult @ @ @ @ @ @ @ approaching nostalgia .
Birthdays have always felt extra bittersweet to me .
Each year I look forward to February , yet when my birthday rolls around , I can ’ t help but feel a bit melancholy .
Even though birthdays are new beginnings , and are reason for celebration , they also signify the endings of all of the years and experiences that have led up to the new age .
They imply a loss of innocence .
They imply closing the chapters that made up year 26 or 29 or 33 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ memories .
Birthdays turn experiences into stories , stories that have endings .
During the sparkly , festive countdown on New Years , the same sentimental , conflicting feelings make their way into my thoughts.I dress up in a silver sequin dress and drink champagne as the clock nears midnight .
I smile for photos , and try to enjoy the moment .
But the mood is never fully that of excitement for me .
I used to believe my discomfort stemmed from the pressure to create a new beginning in the new @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of a fresh , blank slate .
But now I understand that my discomfort is rooted in the acknowledgement of an ending .
My discomfort comes from realizing that with the drop of the ball , the year is over , and none of the experiences will ever happen again .
As the year moves up one number , the world just continues to move forward , leaving the past behind .
Even as a kid , August rolling around would always signify our last summer trip to the beach , which for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the year .
The last beach trip each summer would be the last time I would see the Atlantic that year , so every “ last ” beach trip , I would say goodbye to the ocean , as if it were some big important ending , as if I would never return to the same ocean again .
Everytime I said goodbye to the waves , my heart felt heavy , with a sense of sadness .
Like I wasn ’ t ready to let go of each particular summer , and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ would be different when I would return the next summer .
The goodbyes to people have by far been the hardest .
When I ’ ve lost people I have loved , I ’ ve grappled with believing that the story wasn ’ t important if it ended .
It ’ s always felt to me like the ending of a relationship implied that everything we had created together was forever lost , because of a break up or a death or a loss of a friendship .
I ’ ve had trouble @ @ @ @ @ @ @ s time , because I ’ ve been afraid of experiencing the world without that person by my side .
To make peace with the loss of a person who we thought we had at least part of forever with is a difficult mountain to climb .
Goodbyes are the hardest because they signify a loss of something we once held dear .
Goodbyes bring about an ending of a time that once felt good to us .
Goodbyes put the final period on the page .
Goodbyes make the sentence come to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the most golden parts of life are fleeting ; perhaps the greatest miracles don ’ t last forever .
Most of the time , they only exist for a moment in time , and then the flickering spark dies out and only the smoke remains .
But their brevity doesn ’ t take away their significance .
Endings do not mean that the middles never happened .
And while letting go is painful , I ’ m beginning to understand how to create closure , how to tie off the endings into neat @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to store each little memory somewhere in the back of my mind , where I can still cherish it , even if it is now part of the past .
Because even though the good times and the good people may not stay with us forever , we can still allow them to impact us immeasurably .
We can still feel lucky that our lives were touched in such a way , and grateful that we had these stories and these people that we didn ’ t want to lose .
Goodbyes will @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s a truth we simply can not avoid .
But when we realize that we can keep the meaningful parts of every story with us , I think goodbyes become a little more bearable .
I don ’ t know if I ’ m ever going to lose my fear of endings , but I do know now that it ’ s okay to let go .
It ’ s okay to not hold on until my hands are physically hurting .
It ’ s okay to let go even when a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ soon .
It ’ s okay to cry over and to mourn each ending , but it ’ s also okay to allow the ending to happen anyway .
And when we do let go , we are left with a wide open space in our heart , a space that used to be filled by someone or something we cherished and loved .
A space that once held something “ good ” has been replaced by a space that feels empty and lonely .
And the scary part is , we don @ @ @ @ @ @ @ space next .
We don ’ t know how long it will be vacant .
We don ’ t know if the next person or the next story will be as beautiful as the previous one .
We don ’ t know if we ’ ll ever feel the exact same way again .
And while this is daunting , I guess I ’ m realizing that maybe it can also be kind of magical .
Because even though we might not experience the very same feeling again , there ’ s a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ experience something that is just as precious , in a different way .
I do not think that endings ever become any easier .
But maybe we can feel a little more content when we realize that each ending , without fail , is accompanied by a brand new beginning .
And maybe , just maybe , this new beginning will be a different type of miracle .

I have a tendency to hold on too tightly, to people, to places, and to moments, stretching out all of the goodness until the final breaking point. I clench my fists until my knuckles are white and my palms have dark indentations forming from my nails digging in so deeply. I wait until the expiration date has come and gone, until the goodbye is long overdue, before I am finally able to loosen my grip. And even when I wait as long as possible, it pains me to let go.
I don’t hold on so tightly because I want to – I wish endings were easier for me. I wish letting go wasn’t so emotionally strenuous. But I hold on out of fear – a fear of good stories coming to a close and a fear of releasing relationships that once meant the world to me. I fear losing people who brought beauty into my life, and I fear saying goodbye to anyone or anything that touched me in an irreplaceable way.
I don’t know how to say goodbye when my life has been permanently changed for the better.
I guess I struggle to make peace with leaving behind something golden.
Nostalgia is defined as “a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time; a longing; a wistfulness.” But maybe nostalgia can happen in the present moment too. Maybe it’s possible to feel nostalgic even before the present has become a memory. Maybe it’s a fear of a “place or time” becoming a memory that makes letting go so incredibly difficult. Maybe I’m afraid of approaching nostalgia.
Birthdays have always felt extra bittersweet to me. Each year I look forward to February, yet when my birthday rolls around, I can’t help but feel a bit melancholy. Even though birthdays are new beginnings, and are reason for celebration, they also signify the endings of all of the years and experiences that have led up to the new age. They imply a loss of innocence. They imply closing the chapters that made up year 26 or 29 or 33. Birthdays turn years and ages into memories. Birthdays turn experiences into stories, stories that have endings.
During the sparkly, festive countdown on New Years, the same sentimental, conflicting feelings make their way into my thoughts.I dress up in a silver sequin dress and drink champagne as the clock nears midnight. I smile for photos, and try to enjoy the moment. But the mood is never fully that of excitement for me. I used to believe my discomfort stemmed from the pressure to create a new beginning in the new year, and to make the most of a fresh, blank slate. But now I understand that my discomfort is rooted in the acknowledgement of an ending. My discomfort comes from realizing that with the drop of the ball, the year is over, and none of the experiences will ever happen again. As the year moves up one number, the world just continues to move forward, leaving the past behind.
Even as a kid, August rolling around would always signify our last summer trip to the beach, which for me meant the last beach trip of the year. The last beach trip each summer would be the last time I would see the Atlantic that year, so every “last” beach trip, I would say goodbye to the ocean, as if it were some big important ending, as if I would never return to the same ocean again. Everytime I said goodbye to the waves, my heart felt heavy, with a sense of sadness. Like I wasn’t ready to let go of each particular summer, and each specific beach trip. Like everything would be different when I would return the next summer.
The goodbyes to people have by far been the hardest. When I’ve lost people I have loved, I’ve grappled with believing that the story wasn’t important if it ended. It’s always felt to me like the ending of a relationship implied that everything we had created together was forever lost, because of a break up or a death or a loss of a friendship. I’ve had trouble letting go, even when it’s time, because I’ve been afraid of experiencing the world without that person by my side. To make peace with the loss of a person who we thought we had at least part of forever with is a difficult mountain to climb.
Goodbyes are the hardest because they signify a loss of something we once held dear. Goodbyes bring about an ending of a time that once felt good to us. Goodbyes put the final period on the page. Goodbyes make the sentence come to a close.
But perhaps some of the most golden parts of life are fleeting; perhaps the greatest miracles don’t last forever. Most of the time, they only exist for a moment in time, and then the flickering spark dies out and only the smoke remains. But their brevity doesn’t take away their significance.
Endings do not mean that the middles never happened.
And while letting go is painful, I’m beginning to understand how to create closure, how to tie off the endings into neat bows. I’m learning how to store each little memory somewhere in the back of my mind, where I can still cherish it, even if it is now part of the past. Because even though the good times and the good people may not stay with us forever, we can still allow them to impact us immeasurably. We can still feel lucky that our lives were touched in such a way, and grateful that we had these stories and these people that we didn’t want to lose.
Goodbyes will sting for a while, and that’s a truth we simply cannot avoid. But when we realize that we can keep the meaningful parts of every story with us, I think goodbyes become a little more bearable. I don’t know if I’m ever going to lose my fear of endings, but I do know now that it’s okay to let go. It’s okay to not hold on until my hands are physically hurting. It’s okay to let go even when a story seems like it is ending too soon. It’s okay to cry over and to mourn each ending, but it’s also okay to allow the ending to happen anyway.
And when we do let go, we are left with a wide open space in our heart, a space that used to be filled by someone or something we cherished and loved. A space that once held something “good” has been replaced by a space that feels empty and lonely. And the scary part is, we don’t know what will fill this space next. We don’t know how long it will be vacant. We don’t know if the next person or the next story will be as beautiful as the previous one. We don’t know if we’ll ever feel the exact same way again.
And while this is daunting, I guess I’m realizing that maybe it can also be kind of magical. Because even though we might not experience the very same feeling again, there’s a chance that we might be able to experience something that is just as precious, in a different way.
I do not think that endings ever become any easier. But maybe we can feel a little more content when we realize that each ending, without fail, is accompanied by a brand new beginning.
And maybe, just maybe, this new beginning will be a different type of miracle.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-27--He’s Not Your Forever Person Unless He Keeps These 7 Promises

1 .
When he promises not to lie to you , he should follow through on it .
He shouldn ’ t tell you little white lies about mistakes he ’ s made in order to get himself out of trouble .
He shouldn ’ t twist the truth about what happened during his day to avoid conflict .
He should be honest with you , even when you aren ’ t going to like what he has to say , even when it starts an argument , even if it means you are going to be unhappy with him @ @ @ @ @ @ @ When he promises not to betray you , he should follow through on it .
He should never cheat on you .
He should never cross such an unforgivable line — and he shouldn ’ t come close to that line , either .
He shouldn ’ t test how far he can get without getting in trouble .
He shouldn ’ t try to flirt with other people , get close to other people , pursue other people .
He should be happy with only you .
He should honor the commitment @ @ @ @ @ @ @ When he promises not to neglect you , he should follow through on it .
He should treat you like a priority .
He shouldn ’ t ignore you .
He shouldn ’ t disrespect you .
He shouldn ’ t make you feel like you are less important than the other people in his life .
He should give you the attention and affection you crave .
He should be there for you since you ’ re always there for him .
4 .
When he promises not to abandon you , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ He shouldn ’ t leave as soon as things get tough .
He shouldn ’ t get scared off by imperfect moments .
He should stick with you through it all .
If the relationship isn ’ t working out , it ’ s better to quit than to keep fighting for something that isn ’ t working , but until you reach that point he should be acting as your support .
He shouldn ’ t leave you to deal with your problems on your own .
5 .
When he promises @ @ @ @ @ @ @ follow through on it .
He shouldn ’ t sneak around behind your back .
He shouldn ’ t be talking crap about you to his friends .
He shouldn ’ t be calling you names during arguments .
He shouldn ’ t be crossing boundaries , just because he ’ s in a bad mood .
He should be treating you with respect , even when you aren ’ t happy with each other .
6 .
When he promises not to hide things from you , he should follow through on @ @ @ @ @ @ @ things from conversations .
He shouldn ’ t avoid answering questions .
He shouldn ’ t keep secrets from you .
He shouldn ’ t pick and choose what you ’ re allowed to know about him .
You should be completely honest with each other .
Always .
7 .
When he promises not to hurt you , he should follow through on it .
He should try his best to give you everything you deserve .
He shouldn ’ t let himself slack and see how long you put up with @ @ @ @ @ @ @ try to trick you into settling for less than you deserve .
He should put in plenty of effort , just like you should .
You should both be trying your hardest to keep the relationship strong .

1. When he promises not to lie to you, he should follow through on it. He shouldn’t tell you little white lies about mistakes he’s made in order to get himself out of trouble. He shouldn’t twist the truth about what happened during his day to avoid conflict. He should be honest with you, even when you aren’t going to like what he has to say, even when it starts an argument, even if it means you are going to be unhappy with him for a little while.
2. When he promises not to betray you, he should follow through on it. He should never cheat on you. He should never cross such an unforgivable line — and he shouldn’t come close to that line, either. He shouldn’t test how far he can get without getting in trouble. He shouldn’t try to flirt with other people, get close to other people, pursue other people. He should be happy with only you. He should honor the commitment he made to you.
3. When he promises not to neglect you, he should follow through on it. He should treat you like a priority. He shouldn’t ignore you. He shouldn’t disrespect you. He shouldn’t make you feel like you are less important than the other people in his life. He should give you the attention and affection you crave. He should be there for you since you’re always there for him.
4. When he promises not to abandon you, he should follow through on it. He shouldn’t leave as soon as things get tough. He shouldn’t get scared off by imperfect moments. He should stick with you through it all. If the relationship isn’t working out, it’s better to quit than to keep fighting for something that isn’t working, but until you reach that point he should be acting as your support. He shouldn’t leave you to deal with your problems on your own.
5. When he promises not to disrespect you, he should follow through on it. He shouldn’t sneak around behind your back. He shouldn’t be talking crap about you to his friends. He shouldn’t be calling you names during arguments. He shouldn’t be crossing boundaries, just because he’s in a bad mood. He should be treating you with respect, even when you aren’t happy with each other.
6. When he promises not to hide things from you, he should follow through on it. He shouldn’t omit things from conversations. He shouldn’t avoid answering questions. He shouldn’t keep secrets from you. He shouldn’t pick and choose what you’re allowed to know about him. You should be completely honest with each other. Always.
7. When he promises not to hurt you, he should follow through on it. He should try his best to give you everything you deserve. He shouldn’t let himself slack and see how long you put up with the behavior. He shouldn’t try to trick you into settling for less than you deserve. He should put in plenty of effort, just like you should. You should both be trying your hardest to keep the relationship strong.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-27--6 Reminders When Your Heart And Your Head Are Pulling You In Different Directions

1 .
Your feelings aren ’ t always meant to be acted upon .
If you miss someone , that doesn ’ t mean you should text them .
It doesn ’ t mean you should give them another chance .
It doesn ’ t mean you should forget about everything they put you through in the past .
Instead of acting impulsively , you need to ask yourself whether they deserve to hear from you again , whether they earned another shot or whether your huge heart is getting in the way of your common sense .
2 .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Most of the time , it ’ s good to think things through before you make a decision .
It ’ s helpful to consider the positive and negative outcomes of any situation .
But love is messy .
It requires risks .
It involves unknowns .
If someone treats you right and makes you feel like you ’ re walking on cloud nine , then you can not allow yourself to overthink until you decide the relationship isn ’ t worthwhile .
Sure , you could end up getting hurt in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ is worth the reward .
3 .
You don ’ t have to make a decision right away .
Give yourself some time to think things over .
You don ’ t want to rush into a relationship , rush into a breakup , or rush into any other major change .
You should give yourself a moment to breathe , a moment to wonder , a moment to analyze the situation at hand .
You can ’ t put off making a decision forever , but you should at least give yourself @ @ @ @ @ @ @ is best for your own personal journey .
4 .
You can ask friends and family for advice — but the decision is ultimately up to you .
You know your situation the best .
Meanwhile , your loved ones are only going to know what you tell them .
You might accidentally be leading them in a certain direction .
You might be tricking them into giving you the answer you want to hear .
But if you want to do the right thing for yourself , you have to be honest @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your heart or your head get in the way .
5 .
Your head and your heart should work as a team .
You shouldn ’ t ignore what your heart is telling you because you feel like your emotions aren ’ t valid — and you shouldn ’ t ignore what your head is telling you because you ’ re obsessing over a certain someone , either .
You should try to listen to both .
Try to see both sides of the internal argument you ’ ve been having with yourself @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to win .
Other times , your head is the one you should follow .
It depends on the situation .
It ’ s not going to be the same every time .
Unfortunately , you ’ re going to have to figure out the answer on your own .
6 .
You ’ re going to figure things out eventually .
Right now , you might be feeling conflicted .
You might not know what is best for yourself .
You might have no idea what you really want .
But even @ @ @ @ @ @ @ if you choose wrong , it ’ s okay .
You ’ re going to have plenty of more chances in the future .
This one decision isn ’ t going to wreck your life .

1. Your feelings aren’t always meant to be acted upon. If you miss someone, that doesn’t mean you should text them. It doesn’t mean you should give them another chance. It doesn’t mean you should forget about everything they put you through in the past. Instead of acting impulsively, you need to ask yourself whether they deserve to hear from you again, whether they earned another shot or whether your huge heart is getting in the way of your common sense.
2. Overthinking isn’t always your friend. Most of the time, it’s good to think things through before you make a decision. It’s helpful to consider the positive and negative outcomes of any situation. But love is messy. It requires risks. It involves unknowns. If someone treats you right and makes you feel like you’re walking on cloud nine, then you cannot allow yourself to overthink until you decide the relationship isn’t worthwhile. Sure, you could end up getting hurt in the end, but sometimes the risk is worth the reward.
3. You don’t have to make a decision right away. Give yourself some time to think things over. You don’t want to rush into a relationship, rush into a breakup, or rush into any other major change. You should give yourself a moment to breathe, a moment to wonder, a moment to analyze the situation at hand. You can’t put off making a decision forever, but you should at least give yourself a little time to figure out what is best for your own personal journey.
4. You can ask friends and family for advice — but the decision is ultimately up to you. You know your situation the best. Meanwhile, your loved ones are only going to know what you tell them. You might accidentally be leading them in a certain direction. You might be tricking them into giving you the answer you want to hear. But if you want to do the right thing for yourself, you have to be honest with yourself. You cannot let your heart or your head get in the way.
5. Your head and your heart should work as a team. You shouldn’t ignore what your heart is telling you because you feel like your emotions aren’t valid — and you shouldn’t ignore what your head is telling you because you’re obsessing over a certain someone, either. You should try to listen to both. Try to see both sides of the internal argument you’ve been having with yourself. Sometimes, your heart is going to win. Other times, your head is the one you should follow. It depends on the situation. It’s not going to be the same every time. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to figure out the answer on your own.
6. You’re going to figure things out eventually. Right now, you might be feeling conflicted. You might not know what is best for yourself. You might have no idea what you really want. But even if you make a mistake, even if you choose wrong, it’s okay. You’re going to have plenty of more chances in the future. This one decision isn’t going to wreck your life.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-27--What Each Zodiac Sign Needs From Their Forever Person During Tough Times

They need a shoulder to cry on .
They need reassurance everything is going to be okay .
They need @ @ @ @ @ They need you to distract them from their problems .
They need you to be @ @ @ @ @ .
They need support and encouragement .
They need you to be honest with them @ @ @ @ @ .
They need you to listen to them vent .
They need you to focus @ @ @ @ @ need cuddles and kisses .

Aries
They need constant pep talks.
Taurus
They need a shoulder to cry on.
Gemini
They need comfort food.
Cancer
They need reassurance everything is going to be okay.
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Leo
They need validation about their feelings.
Virgo
They need you to distract them from their problems.
Libra
They need you to be there, physically and emotionally.
Scorpio
They need support and encouragement.
Sagittarius
They need you to be honest with them, even when it sucks.
Capricorn
They need you to listen to them vent.
Aquarius
They need you to focus on the positive.
Pisces
They need cuddles and kisses.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-29--It’s Not Naive To Be Positive, It’s Naive To Be A Defeatist Right Now

When everything seems to be going wrong at once and the future becomes highly uncertain , the optimists tend to get chastised for their positivity .
They ’ re told to watch , and see , and witness what ’ s happening around them , as though a high spirit could not come from anything but ignorance .
The truth is that when it really matters , it ’ s not naive to be positive , it ’ s naive to be a defeatist .
When we believe that the worst possible outcome is the most likely outcome , we @ @ @ @ @ @ @ us so far .
The shadows exist , but they are not permanent People fundamentally care about one another .
Our worst enemies are often our own minds .
When we think we have been buried , we have often been planted , and are being set up to bloom .
You can be in a place of complete uncertainty and still be intent on seeing the good , finding the good , and creating the good .
This does not make you naive .
This makes you empowered because it takes profound @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and find a shred of light .
This makes you empowered because most people adapt to what ’ s happening around them instead of trying to influence what ’ s around them .
This makes you empowered because the truth is that it is in ignorance that hopelessness breeds .
It is in turning a blind eye to everything we still have to hope for that people become the most closed-minded versions of themselves .
This makes you empowered because the truth is that the world does not exist in black and white @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , there is heaviness in the light .
There are brilliant minds , uplifted souls , the most skilled experts on the planet all working to heal and resolve and move us forward .
When we are positive , it is not that we have faith in ourselves , it is that we have faith in them .
We have faith in the people around us , the people who have spent their lifetimes preparing to handle a crisis .
The truth is that life will never unfold perfectly , the world will @ @ @ @ @ @ @ will always be a possibility .
It ’ s not a matter of whether or not we choose to see it , it ’ s a matter of how we respond .
Whether we know it or not , we have been susceptible to wide-scale breakdown for years .
It was just at this tipping point that we saw the vulnerability that was there all along .
This isn ’ t to discourage our sense of progress .
This is to remind us that the people who throw their hands up and claim @ @ @ @ @ @ @ not the ones that move it forward — even when everything is going alright .
The people who move humanity in the right direction are the ones who emphasize the good , the progress , the path forward .
The people who move us through the darkness and out of it are not the ones who think that they are powerless .
They are the ones who are so aware of their power , they couldn ’ t bear to do anything but use it to shine light .

When everything seems to be going wrong at once and the future becomes highly uncertain, the optimists tend to get chastised for their positivity.
They’re told to be realistic.
They’re told to watch, and see, and witness what’s happening around them, as though a high spirit could not come from anything but ignorance.
The truth is that when it really matters, it’s not naive to be positive, it’s naive to be a defeatist.
When we believe that the worst possible outcome is the most likely outcome, we neglect everything life has tried to teach us so far.
The shadows exist, but they are not permanent
People fundamentally care about one another.
Our worst enemies are often our own minds.
When we think we have been buried, we have often been planted, and are being set up to bloom.
You can be in a place of complete uncertainty and still be intent on seeing the good, finding the good, and creating the good.
This does not make you naive.
This makes you empowered.
This makes you empowered because it takes profound courage to look at a hopeless situation and find a shred of light.
This makes you empowered because most people adapt to what’s happening around them instead of trying to influence what’s around them.
This makes you empowered because the truth is that it is in ignorance that hopelessness breeds. It is in turning a blind eye to everything we still have to hope for that people become the most closed-minded versions of themselves.
This makes you empowered because the truth is that the world does not exist in black and white.
There is wisdom in the darkness, there is heaviness in the light.
There are brilliant minds, uplifted souls, the most skilled experts on the planet all working to heal and resolve and move us forward.
When we are positive, it is not that we have faith in ourselves, it is that we have faith in them.
We have faith in the people around us, the people who have spent their lifetimes preparing to handle a crisis.
The truth is that life will never unfold perfectly, the world will never function seamlessly, and the darkness will always be a possibility.
It’s not a matter of whether or not we choose to see it, it’s a matter of how we respond.
Whether we know it or not, we have been susceptible to wide-scale breakdown for years.
It was just at this tipping point that we saw the vulnerability that was there all along.
This isn’t to discourage our sense of progress.
This is to remind us that the people who throw their hands up and claim the world is a hopeless void are not the ones that move it forward — even when everything is going alright.
The people who move humanity in the right direction are the ones who emphasize the good, the progress, the path forward.
The people who move us through the darkness and out of it are not the ones who think that they are powerless.
They are the ones who are so aware of their power, they couldn’t bear to do anything but use it to shine light.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-28--I Miss You, But I Understand We Aren’t Meant For Each Other

I want things to be different .
I desperately do .
I ’ ve always held out hope that we would find a way if we just tried hard enough .
If we fought hard enough .
If we gave it everything we had .
I mean , doesn ’ t the universe honor that- if two people are willing to risk so much to be together ?
That ’ s not the case , though .
Because some things don ’ t work , even if you believe wholeheartedly that they should .
Everything in my bones screams at @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for us out there .
I would love to cling to that idea .
If I did , then I could reach out to you again , without hesitation , to bring that chance to life .
Yet the sadness and finality of everything sits on my chest like a weight .
We aren ’ t meant for each other .
If we were , then I would ’ ve sacrificed everything when I had the chance .
If we were , you wouldn ’ t have looked to other people to fill @ @ @ @ @ @ @ were , you would ’ ve told me how you felt when it made sense to .
If we were , I would ’ ve told you how I felt , even if it meant scaring you a little .
There are memories and moments where I understand why I felt so sure about us .
Our genuine connection , the ease in which we opened up to each other , our chemistry that made everything feel as if it were one fire .
The tender moments where we held onto each other @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ d figure it all out .
Yet on the other side , I remember when we ’ d push each other away , when you would grow distant and detached , not giving me a reason why .
When I would reach out to you in a way that felt clingy and dependent .
When I would turn to someone else to distract myself from the hurt , and how I wouldn ’ t change my mind even when you showed up again .
I remember the endless circles we went around @ @ @ @ @ @ @ instead of bad habits .
We would always say we would do better in the future , that we had our whole lives to figure this out .
But I can ’ t spend the rest of my life being dizzy , even if it ’ s with you .
I miss you more than you could ever realize .
I still pick up the phone , ready to text you about something that happened .
I still ache when I see you post something on social media , and I want to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ more often than I would care to admit- to myself or anyone else .
I know it ’ s okay to miss you because whatever we had was strong and beautiful .
To pretend like I don ’ t miss you would be a disservice to everything we went through .
Yet I ’ m finally in a place where I know that missing you isn ’ t a sign to try again .
It ’ s a sign that we had a great thing .
That ’ s it , that ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ miss you , but I do understand we aren ’ t meant for each other .
But I ’ ll still remember us for the rest of my life- and I will learn to be okay with that .

I want things to be different. I desperately do.
I’ve always held out hope that we would find a way if we just tried hard enough. If we fought hard enough. If we gave it everything we had. I mean, doesn’t the universe honor that- if two people are willing to risk so much to be together?
That’s not the case, though. Because some things don’t work, even if you believe wholeheartedly that they should.
Everything in my bones screams at me that maybe there is another chance for us out there. I would love to cling to that idea. If I did, then I could reach out to you again, without hesitation, to bring that chance to life. Yet the sadness and finality of everything sits on my chest like a weight. We aren’t meant for each other.
If we were, then I would’ve sacrificed everything when I had the chance. If we were, you wouldn’t have looked to other people to fill the space I held. If we were, you would’ve told me how you felt when it made sense to. If we were, I would’ve told you how I felt, even if it meant scaring you a little.
There are memories and moments where I understand why I felt so sure about us. Our genuine connection, the ease in which we opened up to each other, our chemistry that made everything feel as if it were one fire. The tender moments where we held onto each other, silent promises that one day we’d figure it all out.
Yet on the other side, I remember when we’d push each other away, when you would grow distant and detached, not giving me a reason why. When I would reach out to you in a way that felt clingy and dependent. When I would turn to someone else to distract myself from the hurt, and how I wouldn’t change my mind even when you showed up again.
I remember the endless circles we went around, how we called them learning experiences instead of bad habits. We would always say we would do better in the future, that we had our whole lives to figure this out. But I can’t spend the rest of my life being dizzy, even if it’s with you.
I miss you more than you could ever realize. I still pick up the phone, ready to text you about something that happened. I still ache when I see you post something on social media, and I want to reach out. I think about you more often than I would care to admit- to myself or anyone else.
I know it’s okay to miss you because whatever we had was strong and beautiful. To pretend like I don’t miss you would be a disservice to everything we went through. Yet I’m finally in a place where I know that missing you isn’t a sign to try again. It’s a sign that we had a great thing. That’s it, that’s all.
So please know I miss you, but I do understand we aren’t meant for each other.
But I’ll still remember us for the rest of my life- and I will learn to be okay with that.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-28--This Is The Most Underrated Quality Of Each Zodiac Sign

Aries are generally associated with energy and childlike enthusiasm , and a fiery spirit .
However , most people tend not to realize how much of a romantic you are underneath the surface .
If you are falling for someone you ’ re not subtle about it , and you will pull out the stops to ensure you capture their heart .
You ’ re a person of action , and it shines through when you ’ re in love .
Taurus : You are so sure of yourself Taureans have a reputation for being stubborn and even a bit @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a down to earth nature that draws people in- and a big part of the reason why is because of your self-assuredness .
You know your value , and you know what is worth your time , and that confidence not only allows you to sift through those who would manipulate you , but it inspires the people around you to love themselves better .
Geminis are known for having a vested interest in everything , but they are also stereotyped as being flaky and non-committal .
Most would assume that your intelligence @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with you for any amount of time shows how much knowledge you absorb .
While your interests may change , it doesn ’ t stop you from learning everything you can about something when you are focused .
While it ’ s true that Cancers have big hearts and hopes about romance , most people don ’ t realize how hard working they are .
You have a desire to take care and to be taken care of- and you know this doesn ’ t happen simply by wishing .
If it means @ @ @ @ @ @ @ work your butt off , and you won ’ t even think twice about it .
While everyone knows you for being the center of attention , it doesn ’ t mean you ’ re selfish .
It ’ s often overlooked just how generous Leos can be .
If you have the means to spare , you aren ’ t afraid to go out of your way to help someone you care about .
Even if you don ’ t have material options , you ’ ll still give your time and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
You want others to succeed , too- and you will help in any way you can .
While it ’ s a running joke that Virgos can be bossy and determined to improve things , it doesn ’ t mean that they are always bad things .
Truthfully , you pay attention to others , spend so much time working on yourself , and learn from your mistakes often- which means your advice is good .
You don ’ t just toss out positive anecdotes to cheer someone up .
You tell @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and even if they roll their eyes a bit , your friends know that if they need honest and practical advice- you ’ re the one they ’ re going to .
While you ’ re most often thought of as a people pleaser , that doesn ’ t mean you don ’ t feel things intensely .
You want everyone to be happy and content , but your own emotions aren ’ t docile or non-existent .
When people get to know you , they get a better glimpse into your passion @ @ @ @ @ @ @ s a pleasant surprise .
Unfortunately , you tend to get a bad reputation as being jealous or vengeful .
Still , those who know you well are more than aware that you have a compassionate heart underneath that loner attitude .
You care deeply for your loved ones , and while no one wants on your bad side , your tenderness and understanding is hard to find elsewhere .
You understand the difficulties in trusting and vulnerability , so you are more than patient with others in those areas .
You are @ @ @ @ @ @ @ blunt sense of humor , but often it seems your creativity is overlooked .
When it comes to finding new ways to do things , or envisioning new possibilities to roadblocks , you are more than ready to conjure them up .
While you are all for fun and games , your sense of imagination and creative ideas are worth listening to- and you love sharing them with those that will listen .
You understand the value of working hard , but you also know there is a time to cut loose , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ re boring or stodgy , you have a hilarious sense of humor .
You don ’ t use it all the time because you want to be taken seriously , but your loved ones know this side of you well- and it ’ s difficult to find anyone else who can go from sharp wit to back to business the way you do .
While you are often pegged as being a loner , this doesn ’ t mean you don ’ t care about others .
You don ’ t invest @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with those you do , then you ’ re an absolute ride or die .
You will show up for the people who matter to you- and you won ’ t hesitate to be there when they need you .
You are more than just emotions and daydreams- you have a sharp and analytical mind , too !
You are empathetic and good at picking up on others ’ feelings- but you spend a great deal of time analyzing your emotions as well as the emotions of others so you can understand them @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and put them to use later- and it can be surprising for others when you recall things they told you a long time ago .

Aries: You’re a huge romantic
Aries are generally associated with energy and childlike enthusiasm, and a fiery spirit. However, most people tend not to realize how much of a romantic you are underneath the surface. If you are falling for someone you’re not subtle about it, and you will pull out the stops to ensure you capture their heart. You’re a person of action, and it shines through when you’re in love.
Taurus: You are so sure of yourself
Taureans have a reputation for being stubborn and even a bit materialistic at times. Yet you have a down to earth nature that draws people in- and a big part of the reason why is because of your self-assuredness. You know your value, and you know what is worth your time, and that confidence not only allows you to sift through those who would manipulate you, but it inspires the people around you to love themselves better.
Gemini: Your genuine intelligence
Geminis are known for having a vested interest in everything, but they are also stereotyped as being flaky and non-committal. Most would assume that your intelligence stays at surface level, but talking with you for any amount of time shows how much knowledge you absorb. While your interests may change, it doesn’t stop you from learning everything you can about something when you are focused.
Cancer: Your work ethic
While it’s true that Cancers have big hearts and hopes about romance, most people don’t realize how hard working they are. You have a desire to take care and to be taken care of- and you know this doesn’t happen simply by wishing. If it means providing comfort and security, you will work your butt off, and you won’t even think twice about it.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
Leo: Your generous heart
While everyone knows you for being the center of attention, it doesn’t mean you’re selfish. It’s often overlooked just how generous Leos can be. If you have the means to spare, you aren’t afraid to go out of your way to help someone you care about. Even if you don’t have material options, you’ll still give your time and attention if you know someone needs it. You want others to succeed, too- and you will help in any way you can.
Virgo: Your advice-giving capabilities
While it’s a running joke that Virgos can be bossy and determined to improve things, it doesn’t mean that they are always bad things. Truthfully, you pay attention to others, spend so much time working on yourself, and learn from your mistakes often- which means your advice is good. You don’t just toss out positive anecdotes to cheer someone up. You tell them what they need to hear, and even if they roll their eyes a bit, your friends know that if they need honest and practical advice- you’re the one they’re going to.
Libra: Your intensity
While you’re most often thought of as a people pleaser, that doesn’t mean you don’t feel things intensely. You want everyone to be happy and content, but your own emotions aren’t docile or non-existent. When people get to know you, they get a better glimpse into your passion and your intense nature- and it’s a pleasant surprise.
Scorpio: Your compassionate heart
Unfortunately, you tend to get a bad reputation as being jealous or vengeful. Still, those who know you well are more than aware that you have a compassionate heart underneath that loner attitude. You care deeply for your loved ones, and while no one wants on your bad side, your tenderness and understanding is hard to find elsewhere. You understand the difficulties in trusting and vulnerability, so you are more than patient with others in those areas.
Sagittarius: Your creative and imaginative nature
You are fun to be around and have a blunt sense of humor, but often it seems your creativity is overlooked. When it comes to finding new ways to do things, or envisioning new possibilities to roadblocks, you are more than ready to conjure them up. While you are all for fun and games, your sense of imagination and creative ideas are worth listening to- and you love sharing them with those that will listen.
Capricorn: Your hilarious and goofy side
You understand the value of working hard, but you also know there is a time to cut loose, too. While most might assume you’re boring or stodgy, you have a hilarious sense of humor. You don’t use it all the time because you want to be taken seriously, but your loved ones know this side of you well- and it’s difficult to find anyone else who can go from sharp wit to back to business the way you do.
Aquarius: Your sense of loyalty
While you are often pegged as being a loner, this doesn’t mean you don’t care about others. You don’t invest your time with just anybody, but with those you do, then you’re an absolute ride or die. You will show up for the people who matter to you- and you won’t hesitate to be there when they need you.
Pisces: Your attention to details
You are more than just emotions and daydreams- you have a sharp and analytical mind, too! You are empathetic and good at picking up on others’ feelings- but you spend a great deal of time analyzing your emotions as well as the emotions of others so you can understand them better. You pay attention to details and put them to use later- and it can be surprising for others when you recall things they told you a long time ago.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-30--When You’re Finding It Hard To Move On From An Almost — Read This

Almost relationships are potential relationships that never quite get started !
But those weird , confusing “ almost relationships ” — the ones where it seems like it ’ s all going to work out until , you know , it doesn ’ t , can often be just as gut-wrenching as a full breakup .
Below , we ’ ve compiled a few heartfelt reminders , and some tough love , for any of you who are currently navigating this kind of loss .
1 .
You ’ re not crazy , or silly , for not being able @ @ @ @ @ @ @ don ’ t have to date someone to have feelings for them .
You don ’ t have to be labeled as boyfriend/girlfriend for someone to have a special place in your heart — commitment isn ’ t the only measure of meaning for a relationship .
Please don ’ t feel silly with yourself for caring .
Almost relationships can hurt just as much as real relationships because connection isn ’ t measured in time .
When your heart connects with someone , it connects with someone .
Sometimes , that depth @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you crash into another human being , and despite only knowing them for a short collection of moments , you know that they are going to mean something to you .
There are no rules .
The reality of the situation is that you met someone who made you feel deeply .
You met someone who reciprocated what was happening within you .
You met someone who wanted to hold your hand , and spend time with you , and as a human being who cares deeply , and as a human being @ @ @ @ @ @ @ others , you fell for them .
You fostered a connection that wanted to go deeper .
And when you feel that , when you have all of that hope within you , it can be really , really difficult when someone doesn ’ t want to fall with you .
2 .
These kinds of dynamics can , in turn , make you feel like you aren ’ t good enough .
When you feel deeply for someone , and they reciprocate feelings , but they don ’ t want to commit @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to feel like you are the sole reason why that commitment isn ’ t being made .
It hurts to think that someone likes you , but not enough .
It hurts to think that someone enjoys spending time with you , but not enough .
It hurts to think that someone cares for you , but not enough .
Almosts can make you feel like , maybe if you were just a little funnier , or a little more chill , or a little more this , or a little more that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to stay .
That would have made them choose you .
But that ’ s not the case .
Because it doesn ’ t matter how pretty you are , or how cool you are , or how intelligent you are .
You couldn ’ t have been funnier , or loved them harder , or acted in a more casual way , to have convinced them to commit .
Because at the end of the day , this person wasn ’ t ready to be in a committed relationship .
This person @ @ @ @ @ @ @ leap .
And that is where they are at .
Nothing will change that .
3 .
At the end of the day , people choose these kind of wishy-washy relationships because they aren ’ t ready for a real one .
Whether that is because of their own circumstances , or their own baggage , or because they are afraid of commitment — that is their healing , and their growth , and their decision that they have made for themselves .
Relationships take a lot of responsibility .
And unfortunately , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ who want all of the benefits of a relationship , but they can not deal with the responsibility .
Sometimes people are honest with you about that , and that becomes a decision you have to make for your own heart .
Is this something you can handle ?
Is this something you actually want ?
Hint : it never is .
We just convince ourselves it is because we feel deeply .
And sometimes people aren ’ t honest about that , and there are a lot of games at play , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ like things aren ’ t progressing , like you aren ’ t being valued .
But , when it comes down to it , participating in this kind of unknown emotional grey zone — it ’ s about you in the end .
And how you feel .
If someone tells you that they can not commit to you , you have to walk away .
If someone plays games with you and your dynamic is hurting you , you have to walk away .
Because when you settle for almost , you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of a relationship .
Almost happy .
Almost valued .
Almost chosen .
The connection holds weight , but it ’ s still in a way surface .
You ’ re still not being given all that you desire , you ’ re still holding out for something to grow from so much uncertainty .
4 .
Moving on from an almost is hard because you feel like you broke your own heart by settling .
It can be hard to admit to yourself that you agreed to something you knew you weren @ @ @ @ @ @ @ because you thought you could change the circumstance , you thought that you could make it work in the end , that you would be chosen , that the concept of what you two shared would evolve .
You can feel ashamed or upset that you didn ’ t listen to yourself , didn ’ t allow yourself to be honest about what you actually wanted or what was hurting you .
It can make you feel like your feelings were delegitimize , not just by this person , but by yourself too @ @ @ @ @ @ @ letting yourself down .
That stings .
And that adds another level to the healing process .
And if that is where you ’ re at right now — in this kind of space where you ’ re upset with yourself for not communicating what you wanted , or for going along with a dynamic that was actually hurting you or making you doubt yourself — be gentle with yourself .
It is okay .
You found someone in life you really liked .
You spent time with them and laughed with them @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with them .
You cared for them , and dove into their soul .
You had inside jokes with them and learned about them , and your heart grew fond of them .
Give yourself permission to forgive yourself for wanting to keep that in your life , even if you knew deep down inside that you needed more .
Give yourself permission to forgive yourself for trying for something , for believing in a connection and believing in what it could be .
Give yourself permission to forgive yourself for seeing the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ yourself permission to forgive yourself for putting your heart out there .
5 .
Give yourself permission to be deeply honest with yourself about what the relationship was , not what you hoped it could be .
almost relationships cut deeply because they tend to make a human heart live within that “ what if ” phase .
When you ’ re at the beginning stages of a relationship , when you ’ re trying to see how the parts of yourself line up with those of another , you live within perpetual @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be experienced , so much beauty to be had , so many feelings to feel .
When you exist within an almost , you ’ re always building out a idea of someone , or something , that has yet to be grounded by real life — in a way you romanticize what could be .
And that is so human .
It is human to get excited about another person .
It is human to leap towards the things that make you happy , or make you smile , or make you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in what is in store for your heart .
So , at the end of the day , when you aren ’ t able to carry all of that out — when you aren ’ t given the chance to shine for someone or care for them or build something foundational with them , that hope can hang heavy within you .
It can be difficult to lay down , because it still feels so promising .
Sometimes , what could have been hurts more .
But you have to remind yourself of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the day , you fell into a dynamic that ended up hurting you .
At the end of the day , no matter how much potential you believe there is , it ’ s not being chosen .
That potential isn ’ t being valued .
That potential isn ’ t being shown up for .
6 .
It ’ s not easy to feel like you ’ re getting closure and moving on when you aren ’ t even sure what you ’ re moving on from .
But , the truth @ @ @ @ @ @ @ always end up with those we feel something deep and meaningful with .
Some chapters of our lives are full and dizzying in the best way — with concrete endings and concrete closure .
But some chapters end quickly , sometimes in the middle of the page , sometimes even before we are ready .
What we don ’ t often realize is that that is closure , too .
Because it ’ s still an ending .
7 .
You deserve to be chosen .
Remember that you want to be loved @ @ @ @ @ @ @ almost chosen .
If someone cant do that , you truly are better off .
This is not your person .
Because the right person will be consistent .
The right person will put forth the appropriate amount of effort .
The right person will make everything feel easy , natural .
Almosts aren ’ t natural .
You have all of this hope , and all of this feeling , and you ’ re trying to give it to someone who doesn ’ t want to hold it .
You ’ re @ @ @ @ @ @ @ re worthy of being chosen .
But the right person will choose you .
The right person will stay .
Remind yourself that you deserve for the beauty you see with someone to come to fruition .
You deserve to feel like someone is excited to be with you , someone is excited to commit to you , and dive into something concrete and foundational with you .
You deserve someone who is on the same page .
Someone who wants the same things , someone who want to meet all of your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ their heart and stands up for it .
Someone who isn ’ t afraid of being responsible for your heart .
Someone who embraces it .

Almost relationships are potential relationships that never quite get started! But those weird, confusing “almost relationships” — the ones where it seems like it’s all going to work out until, you know, it doesn’t, can often be just as gut-wrenching as a full breakup. Below, we’ve compiled a few heartfelt reminders, and some tough love, for any of you who are currently navigating this kind of loss.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd7lSf-HRlY&w=560&h=315%5D
1. You’re not crazy, or silly, for not being able to move forward from this.
You don’t have to date someone to have feelings for them. You don’t have to be labeled as boyfriend/girlfriend for someone to have a special place in your heart — commitment isn’t the only measure of meaning for a relationship. Please don’t feel silly with yourself for caring. Almost relationships can hurt just as much as real relationships because connection isn’t measured in time. When your heart connects with someone, it connects with someone. Sometimes, that depth is fostered over years. And sometimes you crash into another human being, and despite only knowing them for a short collection of moments, you know that they are going to mean something to you. There are no rules.
The reality of the situation is that you met someone who made you feel deeply. You met someone who reciprocated what was happening within you. You met someone who wanted to hold your hand, and spend time with you, and as a human being who cares deeply, and as a human being who has a heart that pours for others, you fell for them. You fostered a connection that wanted to go deeper. And when you feel that, when you have all of that hope within you, it can be really, really difficult when someone doesn’t want to fall with you.
2. These kinds of dynamics can, in turn, make you feel like you aren’t good enough.
When you feel deeply for someone, and they reciprocate feelings, but they don’t want to commit, it is a very human reaction to feel like you are the sole reason why that commitment isn’t being made. It hurts to think that someone likes you, but not enough. It hurts to think that someone enjoys spending time with you, but not enough. It hurts to think that someone cares for you, but not enough.
Almosts can make you feel like, maybe if you were just a little funnier, or a little more chill, or a little more this, or a little more that, that would have made them want to stay. That would have made them choose you. But that’s not the case. Because it doesn’t matter how pretty you are, or how cool you are, or how intelligent you are. You couldn’t have been funnier, or loved them harder, or acted in a more casual way, to have convinced them to commit. Because at the end of the day, this person wasn’t ready to be in a committed relationship. This person wasn’t ready to take that leap. And that is where they are at. Nothing will change that.
3. At the end of the day, people choose these kind of wishy-washy relationships because they aren’t ready for a real one.
Whether that is because of their own circumstances, or their own baggage, or because they are afraid of commitment — that is their healing, and their growth, and their decision that they have made for themselves. Relationships take a lot of responsibility. And unfortunately, sometimes we crash our hearts into people who want all of the benefits of a relationship, but they cannot deal with the responsibility.
Sometimes people are honest with you about that, and that becomes a decision you have to make for your own heart. Is this something you can handle? Is this something you actually want? Hint: it never is. We just convince ourselves it is because we feel deeply. And sometimes people aren’t honest about that, and there are a lot of games at play, and you feel confused or hurt, like things aren’t progressing, like you aren’t being valued.
But, when it comes down to it, participating in this kind of unknown emotional grey zone — it’s about you in the end. And how you feel. If someone tells you that they cannot commit to you, you have to walk away. If someone plays games with you and your dynamic is hurting you, you have to walk away. Because when you settle for almost, you settle for almosts in every single aspect of a relationship. Almost happy. Almost valued. Almost chosen. The connection holds weight, but it’s still in a way surface. You’re still not being given all that you desire, you’re still holding out for something to grow from so much uncertainty.
4. Moving on from an almost is hard because you feel like you broke your own heart by settling.
It can be hard to admit to yourself that you agreed to something you knew you weren’t going to be fulfilled in because you thought you could change the circumstance, you thought that you could make it work in the end, that you would be chosen, that the concept of what you two shared would evolve. You can feel ashamed or upset that you didn’t listen to yourself, didn’t allow yourself to be honest about what you actually wanted or what was hurting you. It can make you feel like your feelings were delegitimize, not just by this person, but by yourself too. And nothing is more disappointing that letting yourself down. That stings. And that adds another level to the healing process.
And if that is where you’re at right now — in this kind of space where you’re upset with yourself for not communicating what you wanted, or for going along with a dynamic that was actually hurting you or making you doubt yourself — be gentle with yourself. It is okay. You found someone in life you really liked. You spent time with them and laughed with them and dreamed with them and made memories with them. You cared for them, and dove into their soul. You had inside jokes with them and learned about them, and your heart grew fond of them.
Give yourself permission to forgive yourself for wanting to keep that in your life, even if you knew deep down inside that you needed more. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself for trying for something, for believing in a connection and believing in what it could be. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself for seeing the goodness in another human being. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself for putting your heart out there.
5. Give yourself permission to be deeply honest with yourself about what the relationship was, not what you hoped it could be.
almost relationships cut deeply because they tend to make a human heart live within that “what if” phase. When you’re at the beginning stages of a relationship, when you’re trying to see how the parts of yourself line up with those of another, you live within perpetual potential. There is so much to be experienced, so much beauty to be had, so many feelings to feel. When you exist within an almost, you’re always building out a idea of someone, or something, that has yet to be grounded by real life — in a way you romanticize what could be. And that is so human. It is human to get excited about another person. It is human to leap towards the things that make you happy, or make you smile, or make you believe in the goodness of others, in what is in store for your heart.
So, at the end of the day, when you aren’t able to carry all of that out — when you aren’t given the chance to shine for someone or care for them or build something foundational with them, that hope can hang heavy within you. It can be difficult to lay down, because it still feels so promising. Sometimes, what could have been hurts more.
But you have to remind yourself of what was. At the end of the day, you fell into a dynamic that ended up hurting you. At the end of the day, no matter how much potential you believe there is, it’s not being chosen. That potential isn’t being valued. That potential isn’t being shown up for.
6. It’s not easy to feel like you’re getting closure and moving on when you aren’t even sure what you’re moving on from.
But, the truth is that, we won’t always end up with those we feel something deep and meaningful with. Some chapters of our lives are full and dizzying in the best way — with concrete endings and concrete closure. But some chapters end quickly, sometimes in the middle of the page, sometimes even before we are ready. What we don’t often realize is that that is closure, too. Because it’s still an ending.
7. You deserve to be chosen.
Remember that you want to be loved and chosen, not almost loved or almost chosen. If someone cant do that, you truly are better off. This is not your person.
Because the right person will be consistent. The right person will put forth the appropriate amount of effort. The right person will make everything feel easy, natural. Almosts aren’t natural. You have all of this hope, and all of this feeling, and you’re trying to give it to someone who doesn’t want to hold it. You’re trying to convince someone that you’re worthy of being chosen. But the right person will choose you. The right person will stay.
Remind yourself that you deserve for the beauty you see with someone to come to fruition. You deserve to feel like someone is excited to be with you, someone is excited to commit to you, and dive into something concrete and foundational with you. You deserve someone who is on the same page. Someone who wants the same things, someone who want to meet all of your hope with action. Someone who asserts their heart and stands up for it. Someone who isn’t afraid of being responsible for your heart. Someone who embraces it.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-29--What Makes Your Girlfriend Feel Misunderstood, Disrespected, And Unappreciated (Based On Her Zodiac

What Makes Your Girlfriend Feel Misunderstood, Disrespected, And Unappreciated (Based On Her Zodiac Sign)

When you interrupt and constantly talk over her while she ’ s trying to tell a story .
When you @ @ @ @ @ like she ’ s overreacting every time she shows emotion .
When you make decisions @ @ @ @ @ When you belittle her hobbies , her taste , or her career .
When you @ @ @ @ @ and don ’ t offer any assistance .
When you try to calm her down @ @ @ @ @ when she ’ s upset instead of letting her vent .
When you constantly talk @ @ @ @ @ ask her about her and her day .
When you comment on her weight , @ @ @ @ @ in anything other than a positive way .
When you ignore her texts , even @ @ @ @ @ them .
When you nit-pick and nag her about every little thing she does wrong @ @ @ @ @ ideas about restaurants , movies , and music to try .
When you make jokes @ @ @ @ @ cool in front of your friends .

Aries
When you interrupt and constantly talk over her while she’s trying to tell a story.
Taurus
When you discount her feelings and act like she’s overreacting every time she shows emotion.
Gemini
When you make decisions without consulting her beforehand.
Cancer
When you belittle her hobbies, her taste, or her career.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
Leo
When you see her struggling with something and don’t offer any assistance.
Virgo
When you try to calm her down and make her see reason when she’s upset instead of letting her vent.
Libra
When you constantly talk about yourself without stopping to ask her about her and her day.
Scorpio
When you comment on her weight, hair, or overall appearance in anything other than a positive way.
Sagittarius
When you ignore her texts, even though you’ve seen them.
Capricorn
When you nit-pick and nag her about every little thing she does wrong.
Aquarius
When you ignore her ideas about restaurants, movies, and music to try.
Pisces
When you make jokes at her expense to look cool in front of your friends.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-29--6 Signs You Aren’t Going Through A ‘Rough Patch’ And Actually Need To Break Up

1 .
Your person has crossed an unforgivable line .
Something happened you can ’ t picture recovering from .
It ’ s not something you can forgive and forget .
It ’ s not something you can ignore .
It ’ s not something you can overcome .
It ’ s a complete dealbreaker for you , and the only reason why you haven ’ t ended the relationship yet is because you have so much history together , because you ’ re trying to test whether you could potentially make things work .
But if your trust was @ @ @ @ @ @ @ imagine ever rebuilding that trust , then this is much more than a rough patch .
This is a reason to break up .
2 .
You ’ ve grown into completely different , incompatible people .
It ’ s natural to change as your relationship changes .
Sometimes , it can take a little while to adjust to each other ’ s differences as you age into new versions of yourselves .
You might need a little time to get used to the new yous .
However , if you want completely @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your futures differently now , if you ’ re simply incompatible now , then this is probably not a rough patch .
This is probably a sign you should separate .
It doesn ’ t mean you ’ ve stopped caring about each other .
It simply means you ’ ve started to grow in different directions and are going to flourish fastest without each other .
3 .
You ’ ve been in this place before — multiple times .
If you ’ ve been having an argument about the same thing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ago or years ago , then this clearly isn ’ t a temporary issue .
This is a serious problem .
You either need to fix whatever is wrong so you never have to repeat the same fight again .
Or you need to come to terms with the fact you ’ re never going to fix it and walk away from each other .
If you don ’ t choose one of those two solutions now , then even if this blows over in the short-term , you ’ re going to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ sometime in the future .
4 .
It ’ s gotten past the point of being annoyed with them .
It ’ s not occasional , little things about them that are bugging you .
It ’ s everything .
You leave conversations with them more exhausted than before you spoke to them .
You find yourself coming up with reasons to avoid them .
Honestly , you don ’ t just want a little space from them .
You want constant space from them .
5 .
You don ’ t have @ @ @ @ @ @ @ If you ’ ve stopped communicating with them , if you ’ ve stopped confronting them when they ’ ve upset you , if you ’ ve stopped bothering to try to get them to see your side , then it ’ s probably time to end the relationship .
Even the best relationships require work .
If neither of you are willing to put in the effort anymore , then you should save yourself the drama and walk away .
6 .
You ’ ve been feeling this way for a long @ @ @ @ @ @ @ going to have its rough moments .
You ’ re not always going to feel the giddiness of new love .
It ’ s normal to get frustrated , to get bored , to get confused .
But you need to be honest with yourself .
If you ’ ve been questioning your relationship a lot for a long time , then you probably need a fresh start .
You probably need to keep putting off the inevitable .

1. Your person has crossed an unforgivable line. Something happened you can’t picture recovering from. It’s not something you can forgive and forget. It’s not something you can ignore. It’s not something you can overcome. It’s a complete dealbreaker for you, and the only reason why you haven’t ended the relationship yet is because you have so much history together, because you’re trying to test whether you could potentially make things work. But if your trust was breached, and you can’t imagine ever rebuilding that trust, then this is much more than a rough patch. This is a reason to break up.
2. You’ve grown into completely different, incompatible people. It’s natural to change as your relationship changes. Sometimes, it can take a little while to adjust to each other’s differences as you age into new versions of yourselves. You might need a little time to get used to the new yous. However, if you want completely different things now, if you see your futures differently now, if you’re simply incompatible now, then this is probably not a rough patch. This is probably a sign you should separate. It doesn’t mean you’ve stopped caring about each other. It simply means you’ve started to grow in different directions and are going to flourish fastest without each other.
3. You’ve been in this place before — multiple times. If you’ve been having an argument about the same thing you’ve already argued about months ago or years ago, then this clearly isn’t a temporary issue. This is a serious problem. You either need to fix whatever is wrong so you never have to repeat the same fight again. Or you need to come to terms with the fact you’re never going to fix it and walk away from each other. If you don’t choose one of those two solutions now, then even if this blows over in the short-term, you’re going to end up fighting the same fight again sometime in the future.
4. It’s gotten past the point of being annoyed with them. It’s not occasional, little things about them that are bugging you. It’s everything. You leave conversations with them more exhausted than before you spoke to them. You find yourself coming up with reasons to avoid them. Honestly, you don’t just want a little space from them. You want constant space from them.
5. You don’t have the energy to fix your issues. If you’ve stopped communicating with them, if you’ve stopped confronting them when they’ve upset you, if you’ve stopped bothering to try to get them to see your side, then it’s probably time to end the relationship. Even the best relationships require work. If neither of you are willing to put in the effort anymore, then you should save yourself the drama and walk away.
6. You’ve been feeling this way for a long, long time. Every relationship is going to have its rough moments. You’re not always going to feel the giddiness of new love. It’s normal to get frustrated, to get bored, to get confused. But you need to be honest with yourself. If you’ve been questioning your relationship a lot for a long time, then you probably need a fresh start. You probably need to keep putting off the inevitable.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-29--6 Reminders For Soft-Hearted Girls Who Are Always Called ‘Clingy’

1 .
There ’ s a difference between being clingy and outwardly loving .
Some people are going to accuse you of being clingy because they ’ re not ready to take the next step in your relationship , or because they ’ re not as comfortable with their feelings as you are with yours , or because they want an excuse to push you away .
But you have to understand that the things the last person called you clingy for doing might be the same exact things the next person is going to love about you .
2 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ completely acceptable behaviors .
Remember , you ’ re allowed to invite someone you ’ re interested in dating over every weekend .
You ’ re allowed to send sweet texts every morning .
You ’ re allowed to say I miss you .
You ’ re allowed to voice your emotions when you ’ re upset or excited or annoyed .
You ’ re allowed to expect respect .
You ’ re allowed to expect a message back .
None of these things are asking for too much .
They ’ re @ @ @ @ @ @ @ asking the wrong person .
3 .
The wrong relationships are going to end one way or another .
You shouldn ’ t waste too much time feeling like it ’ s your fault the last person you loved walked away from you .
Even if you toned down your ‘ clinginess , ’ the relationship would ’ ve ended for another reason .
The two of you weren ’ t meant to stay together .
You can blame yourself for chasing them away — or you can be thankful that they left @ @ @ @ @ @ @ them .
They were going to leave your world eventually , so it ’ s better it happened and is done so you can start moving on from it .
4 .
You shouldn ’ t need another person .
Most of the time , people calling you clingy are overreacting , but sometimes , they have a point .
There ’ s nothing wrong with setting the bar high in your relationships — but you should also cultivate your independence .
You should learn to be okay on your own , learn @ @ @ @ @ @ @ like your own company .
You shouldn ’ t feel lonely the second someone leaves the room .
You should work toward becoming your own friend so that you don ’ t include people in your life because you need them but because you want them there .
5 .
Your clinginess might get you into trouble — but it might also get you what you ’ ve always wanted .
You might get your heart broken .
You might end up in a few one-sided relationships .
You might always feel like @ @ @ @ @ @ @ s doing more .
But one day , those problems are going to be behind you .
One day , you ’ re going to find someone right for you .
Someone who cherishes you .
Someone who appreciates you .
And you ’ re going to cling to each other .
6 .
Clingy can be a badge of honor .
You shouldn ’ t be ashamed of your clinginess .
You should be proud of it , because it means you love loudly .
It means you never hold back your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ transparent about the way you feel instead of hiding everything inside .
It means you ’ re brave enough to say what you want and put it out into the universe .

1. There’s a difference between being clingy and outwardly loving. Some people are going to accuse you of being clingy because they’re not ready to take the next step in your relationship, or because they’re not as comfortable with their feelings as you are with yours, or because they want an excuse to push you away. But you have to understand that the things the last person called you clingy for doing might be the same exact things the next person is going to love about you.
2. Most ‘clingy’ behaviors are completely acceptable behaviors. Remember, you’re allowed to invite someone you’re interested in dating over every weekend. You’re allowed to send sweet texts every morning. You’re allowed to say I miss you. You’re allowed to voice your emotions when you’re upset or excited or annoyed. You’re allowed to expect respect. You’re allowed to expect a message back. None of these things are asking for too much. They’re only too much when you’re asking the wrong person.
3. The wrong relationships are going to end one way or another. You shouldn’t waste too much time feeling like it’s your fault the last person you loved walked away from you. Even if you toned down your ‘clinginess,’ the relationship would’ve ended for another reason. The two of you weren’t meant to stay together. You can blame yourself for chasing them away — or you can be thankful that they left before you grew even more attached to them. They were going to leave your world eventually, so it’s better it happened and is done so you can start moving on from it.
4. You shouldn’t need another person. Most of the time, people calling you clingy are overreacting, but sometimes, they have a point. There’s nothing wrong with setting the bar high in your relationships — but you should also cultivate your independence. You should learn to be okay on your own, learn to enjoy the silence, learn to like your own company. You shouldn’t feel lonely the second someone leaves the room. You should work toward becoming your own friend so that you don’t include people in your life because you need them but because you want them there.
5. Your clinginess might get you into trouble — but it might also get you what you’ve always wanted. You might get your heart broken. You might end up in a few one-sided relationships. You might always feel like you’re the one who’s doing more. But one day, those problems are going to be behind you. One day, you’re going to find someone right for you. Someone who cherishes you. Someone who appreciates you. And you’re going to cling to each other.
6. Clingy can be a badge of honor. You shouldn’t be ashamed of your clinginess. You should be proud of it, because it means you love loudly. It means you never hold back your feelings. It means you’re transparent about the way you feel instead of hiding everything inside. It means you’re brave enough to say what you want and put it out into the universe.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-29--9 Signs You’re Probably Going To Break That Poor Boy’s Heart

Sometimes , you should end a relationship before you end up breaking the other person ’ s heart .
If you find yourself relating to the statements below , then you ’ re probably better off single for now : 1 .
You have a backup plan prepared .
You haven ’ t stopped paying attention to other guys since you started dating .
In fact , you have a pretty good idea of who you would chase after if your current relationship ended .
You already have other options in the back of your head .
2 .
You @ @ @ @ @ @ @ You feel weird talking about things too far down the line , because honestly , you can ’ t picture yourself with him for that long .
You don ’ t consider the relationship as permanent as he does .
You ’ re pretty sure he ’ s going to be long gone by then , but apparently , he sees your situation differently .
3 .
You avoid spending too much time with his friends and his family .
You don ’ t want them to get attached to you .
And @ @ @ @ @ @ @ attached to them either .
After all , you don ’ t think you ’ re going to be in his life for that much longer .
There ’ s a chance , but it ’ s not a big chance .
4 .
You haven ’ t stopped talking to guys who are interested in you .
You haven ’ t deleted your exes or almosts from your phone , even though they are always inviting you over to hookup .
You might not accept their invitations since you ’ re in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t take that relationship serious enough to completely cut ties with them , either .
5 .
You aren ’ t putting in nearly as much effort as him .
He ’ s the one sending good morning messages and setting plans and keeping the conversations going .
If he stopped putting in the energy , then you probably wouldn ’ t pick up the slack .
You would accept the relationship is over — which means you ’ re delaying the inevitable already .
6 .
You are more concerned with @ @ @ @ @ @ @ love life .
You ’ ve been busy worrying about your career and your friendships and your family and a million other things .
You haven ’ t really been prioritizing your relationship .
In fact , it ’ s probably the least of your worries right now .
There are other things you consider more important .
7 .
Your heart belongs to someone else .
No matter how hard you try to enjoy this new relationship , your heart just isn ’ t in it .
You thought you were in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , but apparently , you were wrong .
8 .
You get uncomfortable when he buys you gifts or surprises you with romantic gestures .
You feel like you haven ’ t earned it .
You feel like you ’ re never going to pay him back .
You feel like he ’ s going to regret it once he realizes that you aren ’ t actually the girl of his dreams .
9 .
You ’ ve taken the relationship further than you originally wanted .
Maybe you ’ ve uttered those @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ve put an official label on your relationship .
Maybe you ’ ve made it seem like you ’ re in this for the long haul , when really , you aren ’ t completely sure about him yet .
Maybe you need a little more time until your feelings match the intensity of his — or maybe it ’ s only a matter of time until you break his heart .

Sometimes, you should end a relationship before you end up breaking the other person’s heart. If you find yourself relating to the statements below, then you’re probably better off single for now:
1. You have a backup plan prepared. You haven’t stopped paying attention to other guys since you started dating. In fact, you have a pretty good idea of who you would chase after if your current relationship ended. You already have other options in the back of your head.
2. You cringe whenever he mentions the future. You feel weird talking about things too far down the line, because honestly, you can’t picture yourself with him for that long. You don’t consider the relationship as permanent as he does. You’re pretty sure he’s going to be long gone by then, but apparently, he sees your situation differently.
3. You avoid spending too much time with his friends and his family. You don’t want them to get attached to you. And you don’t want to get attached to them either. After all, you don’t think you’re going to be in his life for that much longer. There’s a chance, but it’s not a big chance.
4. You haven’t stopped talking to guys who are interested in you. You haven’t deleted your exes or almosts from your phone, even though they are always inviting you over to hookup. You might not accept their invitations since you’re in a relationship now, but you don’t take that relationship serious enough to completely cut ties with them, either.
5. You aren’t putting in nearly as much effort as him. He’s the one sending good morning messages and setting plans and keeping the conversations going. If he stopped putting in the energy, then you probably wouldn’t pick up the slack. You would accept the relationship is over — which means you’re delaying the inevitable already.
6. You are more concerned with other areas of your life than your love life. You’ve been busy worrying about your career and your friendships and your family and a million other things. You haven’t really been prioritizing your relationship. In fact, it’s probably the least of your worries right now. There are other things you consider more important.
7. Your heart belongs to someone else. No matter how hard you try to enjoy this new relationship, your heart just isn’t in it. You thought you were in a good enough place to date again, but apparently, you were wrong.
8. You get uncomfortable when he buys you gifts or surprises you with romantic gestures. You feel like you haven’t earned it. You feel like you’re never going to pay him back. You feel like he’s going to regret it once he realizes that you aren’t actually the girl of his dreams.
9. You’ve taken the relationship further than you originally wanted. Maybe you’ve uttered those three little words. Maybe you’ve put an official label on your relationship. Maybe you’ve made it seem like you’re in this for the long haul, when really, you aren’t completely sure about him yet. Maybe you need a little more time until your feelings match the intensity of his — or maybe it’s only a matter of time until you break his heart.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-29--7 Dangerous Mindsets That Are Going To Stop You From Finding Love

1 .
“ I ’ m not worthy of love.
” The saying about needing to love yourself before you can love anyone else isn ’ t exactly true .
However , if you genuinely believe you aren ’ t worthy of being loved , then you ’ re going to have a hard time accepting any love that is given to you .
You are going to doubt intentions .
You are going to question whether people are planning on staying .
You are going to make it hard for yourself to enjoy your relationships because you ’ ll @ @ @ @ @ @ @ apart .
You need to learn that you are valuable , that you are a catch , that you are worthy of love .
2 .
“ Every relationship is going to end like my last relationship.
” History isn ’ t bound to repeat itself .
As long as you are careful moving forward , then you won ’ t get hurt the same way twice .
You have to remember , the last person wasn ’ t meant for you , but the next person might be perfect for you .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ They might treat it delicately .
They might treat it right .
3 .
“ I would rather stay single so I don ’ t get hurt.
” Life is all about taking risks .
Even if you stay single and swear off of relationships , you can still grow attached to people .
You can still feel your heart shatter .
You aren ’ t protecting yourself as much as you think you are .
If you ’ re lucky enough to find someone special , you should at least give love @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in the end , but you ’ ll also hurt yourself by doing nothing .
4 .
“ I ’ m much happier on my own than I would be in a relationship.
” It ’ s great that you ’ re independent .
It ’ s great that you don ’ t need anyone else in order to feel happy , successful , fulfilled .
But you shouldn ’ t push everyone else away , just for the sake of saying you ’ re strong and independent .
You ’ re allowed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ re allowed to fall in love .
You ’ re allowed to appear vulnerable .
5 .
“ I ’ m too far behind everyone else.
” It doesn ’ t matter what age you get married , let alone when you have your first kiss or first official relationship .
Everyone moves at a different pace .
Your friends might have reached certain milestones already , but it ’ s perfectly fine if you don ’ t reach those milestones until far in the future .
It makes absolutely no difference , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ too far behind .
It ’ s not too late for you .
You shouldn ’ t give up hope of finding love .
6 .
“ All the good guys are taken.
” If there ’ s no one good enough for you , you should stay single .
You shouldn ’ t lower your standards .
However , you shouldn ’ t discount every single person you meet under the assumption they ’ ll disappoint you .
Some people will surprise you .
Some people are worthy of your time .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
“ I have too much baggage.
” Maybe you don ’ t want to get into a relationship right now because you ’ re still in the process of healing , but you don ’ t have to give up on love forever .
You ’ re not broken .
You ’ re not too screwed up to find someone special .
You ’ re simply going through a rough time right now and you ’ re going to pull yourself out of it .

1. “I’m not worthy of love.” The saying about needing to love yourself before you can love anyone else isn’t exactly true. However, if you genuinely believe you aren’t worthy of being loved, then you’re going to have a hard time accepting any love that is given to you. You are going to doubt intentions. You are going to question whether people are planning on staying. You are going to make it hard for yourself to enjoy your relationships because you’ll always be waiting for them to fall apart. You need to learn that you are valuable, that you are a catch, that you are worthy of love.
2. “Every relationship is going to end like my last relationship.” History isn’t bound to repeat itself. As long as you are careful moving forward, then you won’t get hurt the same way twice. You have to remember, the last person wasn’t meant for you, but the next person might be perfect for you. They might not break your heart. They might treat it delicately. They might treat it right.
3. “I would rather stay single so I don’t get hurt.” Life is all about taking risks. Even if you stay single and swear off of relationships, you can still grow attached to people. You can still feel your heart shatter. You aren’t protecting yourself as much as you think you are. If you’re lucky enough to find someone special, you should at least give love a chance. You might get hurt in the end, but you’ll also hurt yourself by doing nothing.
4. “I’m much happier on my own than I would be in a relationship.” It’s great that you’re independent. It’s great that you don’t need anyone else in order to feel happy, successful, fulfilled. But you shouldn’t push everyone else away, just for the sake of saying you’re strong and independent. You’re allowed to care about others. You’re allowed to fall in love. You’re allowed to appear vulnerable.
5. “I’m too far behind everyone else.” It doesn’t matter what age you get married, let alone when you have your first kiss or first official relationship. Everyone moves at a different pace. Your friends might have reached certain milestones already, but it’s perfectly fine if you don’t reach those milestones until far in the future. It makes absolutely no difference, so no, you’re not too far behind. It’s not too late for you. You shouldn’t give up hope of finding love.
6. “All the good guys are taken.” If there’s no one good enough for you, you should stay single. You shouldn’t lower your standards. However, you shouldn’t discount every single person you meet under the assumption they’ll disappoint you. Some people will surprise you. Some people are worthy of your time. Some people deserve a chance.
7. “I have too much baggage.” Maybe you don’t want to get into a relationship right now because you’re still in the process of healing, but you don’t have to give up on love forever. You’re not broken. You’re not too screwed up to find someone special. You’re simply going through a rough time right now and you’re going to pull yourself out of it.


thoughtcatalog--2020-04-29--Which Author You Should Follow On Twitter, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

`` We are tougher than we seem .
We are tougher than we think .
Our stories will outlive us @ @ @ @ @ good . ''
A reflection from Neil Gaiman ( @ neilhimself ) on the fragile @ @ @ @ @ : pic.twitter.com/2hnwSXathS

Really, you should follow all of them…
Aries
Chuck Wendig
MONDAY. The theme this week is "low bar for success." Did you brush your teeth? Gold star. Did you get out of bed to do it? Holy fuck, you're amazing. Are you wearing pants? YOU FOOL YOU FELL FOR THE TRAP, PANTS ARE A TOOL OF THE OPPRESSOR, SHIRK YOUR LEG BRIDLES AND RUN FREE — Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) April 27, 2020
Taurus
Victoria/V.E. Schwab
One word/breath/day/cup of tea at a time. — Victoria/V.E. Schwab (@veschwab) April 27, 2020
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
Gemini
Delilah S. Dawson
https://twitter.com/DelilahSDawson/status/1252292805143248909
Cancer
Hank Green
Every time I clean my office it gets worse. — Hank Green (@hankgreen) April 19, 2020
Leo
Angie Thomas
So what should I procrastinate on next? That is the question. — Angie Thomas (@angiecthomas) April 15, 2020
Virgo
Rick Riordan
https://twitter.com/rickriordan/status/1247481243484250112
Libra
Jenny Han
https://twitter.com/jennyhan/status/1253723917602209792
Scorpio
Neil Gaiman
"We are tougher than we seem. We are tougher than we think. Our stories will outlive us. Let's make them good." A reflection from Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) on the fragile but powerful resilience of humans: pic.twitter.com/2hnwSXathS — TED Talks (@TEDTalks) April 23, 2020
Sagittarius
Rebecca Makkai
#366prompts, Day 116: Whatever you're writing, put a skunk in there. I don't care if it's a novel set in space or a sonnet about you grandmother. Put a skunk in, I dare you. — Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) April 28, 2020
Capricorn
Alexa Donne
My editor, making a grave mistake: maybe you could describe the room here? Me, after a two hour Pinterest binge: *writes half a page of description* Her, probably: oh I meant, like, a sentence?#amediting #amrevising pic.twitter.com/6yKF3t1xvk — Alexa Donne (@alexadonne) February 21, 2020
Aquarius
Stephen King
I am studying the etymology of “Great googly-moogly,” a phrase that’s giving autocorrect spasms. Appears to have been first uttered by Willie Dixon in a blues called “Goin’ Down Slow,” but I also found it in a Snickers commercial. — Stephen King (@StephenKing) April 25, 2020
Pisces
Paulo Coelho
https://twitter.com/paulocoelho/status/1254096344236654595