thoughtcatalog--2020-08-12--Sometimes, Your Fear Means You’re Moving In The Right Direction

Your fear might be holding you back .
It might be trapping you in place .
It might be convincing you to settle for what you already have because asking for anything more would cause trouble .
Although your fear might feel like a sign you ’ ve taken a wrong turn , you have to remember , there ’ s a certain type of fear that is healthy for you .
The fear of applying for an exciting new position .
The fear of taking another step further in your career .
The fear of entering the unknown and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fear doesn ’ t mean you ’ re unqualified or that you aren ’ t ready to make a change .
It means that the change is important to you .
You ’ re terrified because you want it to work so badly , because you care so deeply , because this matters to you , because it means something .
Sometimes , your fear means you ’ re moving in the right direction .
It means you ’ re following your heart , chasing your goals , living out your dreams .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ close to success that you can taste it .
It means that you ’ re doing what is best for yourself .
You shouldn ’ t feel embarrassed about how nervous you get in new situations .
You shouldn ’ t feel like you ’ re out of your depths and made a mistake in even trying .
You shouldn ’ t feel like you are destined to remain in one place because it ’ s too hard to take that next step forward .
You should feel proud of yourself for stepping @ @ @ @ @ @ @ should feel proud of yourself for choosing the right path over the simplest path .
You should feel proud of yourself for taking a leap , taking a risk , taking a chance on yourself .
What you ’ re doing is beautiful .
It ’ s something to be admired .
You are refusing to settle for a mediocre life .
You are searching for something greater .
You are putting in the effort , putting in the hours .
The next time you feel overwhelmed by your biggest dreams , remember @ @ @ @ @ @ @ without fear .
It ’ s impossible to remain calm , cool , and collected at all times .
However , as long as you ’ re choosing pathways that excite you , as long as you ’ re embarking upon journeys that you know are going to bring you happiness , then you should push your fear aside .
Push your doubts aside .
Push your reluctance aside .
You don ’ t want to keep putting off something important to you , simply because you ’ re nervous about what is @ @ @ @ @ @ @ You can ’ t fall back on procrastinating .
You can ’ t wait until tomorrow to start crossing off items on your checklist .
You need to chase after your dreams , even though it ’ s scary .
You need to put effort into finding self-fulfillment , even if it takes you a while .
When your life is too comfortable , it could mean that you ’ re in exactly the right place .
Or it could mean that it ’ s time to push yourself a little more , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ limitless possibilities .
Remember , sometimes , fear is a good thing .
Sometimes , it means you ’ re heading in the right direction .
It means what you ’ re doing excites you .
It means what you ’ re doing matters .

Your fear might be holding you back. It might be trapping you in place. It might be convincing you to settle for what you already have because asking for anything more would cause trouble.
Although your fear might feel like a sign you’ve taken a wrong turn, you have to remember, there’s a certain type of fear that is healthy for you. The fear of applying for an exciting new position. The fear of taking another step further in your career. The fear of entering the unknown and moving ahead with your life.
Your fear doesn’t mean you’re unqualified or that you aren’t ready to make a change. It means that the change is important to you. You’re terrified because you want it to work so badly, because you care so deeply, because this matters to you, because it means something.
Sometimes, your fear means you’re moving in the right direction. It means you’re following your heart, chasing your goals, living out your dreams. It means you’re inching so close to success that you can taste it. It means that you’re doing what is best for yourself.
You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about how nervous you get in new situations. You shouldn’t feel like you’re out of your depths and made a mistake in even trying. You shouldn’t feel like you are destined to remain in one place because it’s too hard to take that next step forward.
You should feel proud of yourself for stepping out of your comfort zone. You should feel proud of yourself for choosing the right path over the simplest path. You should feel proud of yourself for taking a leap, taking a risk, taking a chance on yourself.
What you’re doing is beautiful. It’s something to be admired. You are refusing to settle for a mediocre life. You are searching for something greater. You are putting in the effort, putting in the hours.
The next time you feel overwhelmed by your biggest dreams, remember, it’s impossible to live without fear. It’s impossible to remain calm, cool, and collected at all times. However, as long as you’re choosing pathways that excite you, as long as you’re embarking upon journeys that you know are going to bring you happiness, then you should push your fear aside. Push your doubts aside. Push your reluctance aside.
You don’t want to keep putting off something important to you, simply because you’re nervous about what is waiting for you around the bend. You can’t fall back on procrastinating. You can’t wait until tomorrow to start crossing off items on your checklist. You need to chase after your dreams, even though it’s scary. You need to put effort into finding self-fulfillment, even if it takes you a while.
When your life is too comfortable, it could mean that you’re in exactly the right place. Or it could mean that it’s time to push yourself a little more, to branch out, to explore your limitless possibilities. Remember, sometimes, fear is a good thing. Sometimes, it means you’re heading in the right direction. It means what you’re doing excites you. It means what you’re doing matters.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-12--30 People Reveal The Hilariously Embarrassing Texts That Popped Up While Showing Someone Else Their

30 People Reveal The Hilariously Embarrassing Texts That Popped Up While Showing Someone Else Their Phone

1 .
While my friend was using my phone , my mom texted me , “ Remember not to have sex with Thomas , he has chlamydia.
” 2 .
I was planning Halloween costumes with a friend one year and we decided to do the Breaking Bad guys .
At work , with my phone face up I was with some coworkers and got an alert that read , “ I found the little baggies for the meth.
” Immediately stopped notifications forever and ever amen .
3 .
I was the sender once when I texted my friend @ @ @ @ @ @ @ her boyfriend , “ Hope you ’ re ok , how did Gary take the break up ?
” When Gary was using her phone and hadn ’ t yet been broken up with .
Sorry Gary .
4 .
Not my notification but I sent to my best girl friend : “ You ’ re right , future husband ’ s dad is weird .
And a little racist.
” And her future husband saw the text .
Luckily he laughed and agreed with me .
But I was so embarrassed that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to a guy in a bar , handed him my phone so he could type his number in .
At that moment a message pops up from my friend sat several tables away saying , “ Shag him.
” 6 .
My aunt was like , “ Hey , is that the new Samsung , can I see it ?
” I say , “ Sure , ” and then I got a text from my girlfriend : “ Good news !
I had my period !
” 7 .
I was showing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a bit and quickly handed me back my phone .
I looked at it and saw that my boyfriend ( now husband ) had texted me saying , “ I hate it when I ’ m pooping and my dick touches the water .
Big dick problems.
” We laughed about it , but my husband is still horrified by the thought of my grandma knowing about his “ big dick problems.
” 8 .
Imagine my conservative 15 yr old little brother ’ s face when my boyfriend texted , “ I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ while we were watching some stupid goat on YouTube .
9 .
“ Gon na fuck your ass so hard tonight , love < 3 ” Sorry for you having to see that , mother .
10 .
Border patrol had my phone and my buddy sent me a text in which he jokingly said something like , “ What makes you think they ’ ll let you in this time ?
” or something like that .
11 .
I was chatting with a guy and it was going well , nothing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ didn ’ t care when I gave my buddy my phone for some reason .
Then across the room he yells , “ YO THIS DUDE JUST ASKED IF YOU ’ D BE DOWN FOR ANAL !
” 12 .
“ Good news , the bump is not yours .
Bad news , you might have herpes.
” From a former FWB I had run into earlier in the day , while my girlfriend at the time had my phone .
13 .
Showing my aunt a pic when a text saying , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ out of machine gun Kelly ” appeared .
We both pretended we didn ’ t see it and quickly started talking about something else .
14 .
My crush was holding my phone at lunch playing Minecraft .
My friends at another table texted me and said , “ I bet you have a BONER.
” 15 .
A guy I sext sent some emojis , while my dad was trying to fix my phone… Didn ’ t go too well… 16 .
Was showing a male client how to use google maps @ @ @ @ @ @ @ text .
I ’ m a therapist .
Never grabbed a phone faster .
17 .
“ I ’ m gon na shit on your chest ” whilst my mum had my phone .
I had some explaining to do… 18 .
My friend texting me , “ I ’ ll eat ur ass , ” while I was showing my mom a meme… never swiped away a notification so fast in my life .
19 .
This actually happened recently , I gave my dad my phone to call my mom because @ @ @ @ @ @ @ girlfriend sent me a text that said something along the lines of , “ Hey , do you wan na have some fun at my house tonight ?
” My dad LOST it laughing .
20 .
Left my phone on the kitchen table and went to pee .
My parents were making dinner and my mum saw the “ wan na fuck ?
” notification from my boyfriend pop up .
I was confused when I came back in the kitchen and my parents were laughing .
Thanks Iphone .
21 .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
My favorite that popped up while my boyfriend was holding my phone was something like , “ Mike misses you !
Come back and play !
” Or something like that .
Of course all he did was pull the drop down menu down to see the full notification and laugh .
He teased me about it for hours .
22 .
My boyfriend and I send each other shit randomly during the day like “ FedEx me that pecker ” or “ flap them tits my way.
” I was showing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and he sends , “ Gon na slap you with my dick tonight.
” 23 .
A male friend of mine sent me a message for the first time in 4 months that was just “ Ily.
” Right as my GF held the phone… 24 .
My friend sent a poop pic while my then girlfriend was checking the weather for us one morning .
25 .
My friend made this fake account on Twitter and followed me exactly at the time my teacher had taken my phone away .
The notification @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 26 .
My SIL was staying with me for a week , which I wasn ’ t stoked about .
My sister knew about it and messaged me , “ How are you dealing with ( SIL ’ s name ) ?
Do you need to pretend to have a nap again lol ?
” Unfortunately my SIL was borrowing my tablet at the time and saw the notification pop up .
She hasn ’ t stayed with us since .
27 .
A couple of years ago met a guy from Tinder @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Things were going well , we were having a laugh and flirting .
After about an hour I took out my phone to show him a funny meme and up popped a notification from my new period tracking app saying , “ Today ’ s the day !
You ’ re ovulating !
” I swiped it real quick and I don ’ t think he got a good look at it but I was still worried he ’ d think I was some child-obsessed weirdo who timed my dates so random @ @ @ @ @ @ @ turned off ovulation notifications after that .
28 .
Years ago I was working at an Apple store as a Genius ( technician ) and was helping an older woman with her phone .
This woman had to be in her late 60s early 70s , as sweet as could be , and was having some minor issues with her phone , I think it was battery life or something .
So she hands me her phone , and just as she does a message pops up with a picture of a toilet @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , “ How many times do I have to tell you to flush the fucking toilet ?
!
” Not knowing really what to do I just hand it back to her and tell her she has a message .
She takes the phone , half smiles , closes the message and hands it back saying , “ Sorry about that sweetheart , my daughter can be a bit of a bitch.
” 29 .
Was showing my mum some cake ideas for my wife ’ s 30th that I was considering .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ ( for unknown reasons ) got a full view of my wife ’ s poon with the caption : “ Guess what you ’ re eating for dessert tonight ?
” I tried to grab my phone back , and my mum went back to browsing cakes without skipping a beat .
As I was leaving my mum thought it would be funny to ask , “ Would you like 2nd dessert tonight , because I have a trifle in the fridge ?
” 30 .
Tiddy pic .
While my mom was @ @ @ @

These texts from Ask Reddit are mortifying.
1. While my friend was using my phone, my mom texted me, “Remember not to have sex with Thomas, he has chlamydia.”
2. I was planning Halloween costumes with a friend one year and we decided to do the Breaking Bad guys. At work, with my phone face up I was with some coworkers and got an alert that read, “I found the little baggies for the meth.” Immediately stopped notifications forever and ever amen.
3. I was the sender once when I texted my friend who was planning to break up with her boyfriend, “Hope you’re ok, how did Gary take the break up?” When Gary was using her phone and hadn’t yet been broken up with. Sorry Gary.
4. Not my notification but I sent to my best girl friend: “You’re right, future husband’s dad is weird. And a little racist.” And her future husband saw the text. Luckily he laughed and agreed with me. But I was so embarrassed that he saw it.
5. Chatting to a guy in a bar, handed him my phone so he could type his number in. At that moment a message pops up from my friend sat several tables away saying, “Shag him.”
6. My aunt was like, “Hey, is that the new Samsung, can I see it?” I say, “Sure,” and then I got a text from my girlfriend: “Good news! I had my period!”
7. I was showing my grandma some pictures. She chuckled a bit and quickly handed me back my phone. I looked at it and saw that my boyfriend (now husband) had texted me saying, “I hate it when I’m pooping and my dick touches the water. Big dick problems.” We laughed about it, but my husband is still horrified by the thought of my grandma knowing about his “big dick problems.”
8. Imagine my conservative 15 yr old little brother’s face when my boyfriend texted, “I’ll destroy your pussy,” while we were watching some stupid goat on YouTube.
9. “Gonna fuck your ass so hard tonight, love <3” Sorry for you having to see that, mother.
10. Border patrol had my phone and my buddy sent me a text in which he jokingly said something like, “What makes you think they’ll let you in this time?” or something like that.
11. I was chatting with a guy and it was going well, nothing sexual maybe mild flirting. So I didn’t care when I gave my buddy my phone for some reason. Then across the room he yells, “YO THIS DUDE JUST ASKED IF YOU’D BE DOWN FOR ANAL!”
12. “Good news, the bump is not yours. Bad news, you might have herpes.” From a former FWB I had run into earlier in the day, while my girlfriend at the time had my phone.
13. Showing my aunt a pic when a text saying, “I’d fuck the shit out of machine gun Kelly” appeared. We both pretended we didn’t see it and quickly started talking about something else.
14. My crush was holding my phone at lunch playing Minecraft. My friends at another table texted me and said, “I bet you have a BONER.”
15. A guy I sext sent some emojis, while my dad was trying to fix my phone… Didn’t go too well…
16. Was showing a male client how to use google maps and my husband sent me a dirty text. I’m a therapist. Never grabbed a phone faster.
17. “I’m gonna shit on your chest” whilst my mum had my phone. I had some explaining to do…
18. My friend texting me, “I’ll eat ur ass,” while I was showing my mom a meme… never swiped away a notification so fast in my life.
19. This actually happened recently, I gave my dad my phone to call my mom because his phone was dead, and my girlfriend sent me a text that said something along the lines of, “Hey, do you wanna have some fun at my house tonight?” My dad LOST it laughing.
20. Left my phone on the kitchen table and went to pee. My parents were making dinner and my mum saw the “wanna fuck?” notification from my boyfriend pop up. I was confused when I came back in the kitchen and my parents were laughing. Thanks Iphone.
21. Story apps can give really interesting ones.
My favorite that popped up while my boyfriend was holding my phone was something like, “Mike misses you! Come back and play!” Or something like that.
Of course all he did was pull the drop down menu down to see the full notification and laugh.
He teased me about it for hours.
22. My boyfriend and I send each other shit randomly during the day like “FedEx me that pecker” or “flap them tits my way.” I was showing my mom something on my phone once and he sends, “Gonna slap you with my dick tonight.”
23. A male friend of mine sent me a message for the first time in 4 months that was just “Ily.” Right as my GF held the phone…
24. My friend sent a poop pic while my then girlfriend was checking the weather for us one morning.
25. My friend made this fake account on Twitter and followed me exactly at the time my teacher had taken my phone away. The notification read @analfister6969 has followed you.
26. My SIL was staying with me for a week, which I wasn’t stoked about. My sister knew about it and messaged me, “How are you dealing with (SIL’s name)? Do you need to pretend to have a nap again lol?”
Unfortunately my SIL was borrowing my tablet at the time and saw the notification pop up. She hasn’t stayed with us since.
27. A couple of years ago met a guy from Tinder in a pub for our first date. Things were going well, we were having a laugh and flirting. After about an hour I took out my phone to show him a funny meme and up popped a notification from my new period tracking app saying, “Today’s the day! You’re ovulating!”
I swiped it real quick and I don’t think he got a good look at it but I was still worried he’d think I was some child-obsessed weirdo who timed my dates so random Tinder guys could impregnate me. I turned off ovulation notifications after that.
28. Years ago I was working at an Apple store as a Genius (technician) and was helping an older woman with her phone. This woman had to be in her late 60s early 70s, as sweet as could be, and was having some minor issues with her phone, I think it was battery life or something.
So she hands me her phone, and just as she does a message pops up with a picture of a toilet full of shit and the message reads, “How many times do I have to tell you to flush the fucking toilet?!”
Not knowing really what to do I just hand it back to her and tell her she has a message. She takes the phone, half smiles, closes the message and hands it back saying, “Sorry about that sweetheart, my daughter can be a bit of a bitch.”
29. Was showing my mum some cake ideas for my wife’s 30th that I was considering. My wife text me and my mum (for unknown reasons) got a full view of my wife’s poon with the caption: “Guess what you’re eating for dessert tonight?”
I tried to grab my phone back, and my mum went back to browsing cakes without skipping a beat. As I was leaving my mum thought it would be funny to ask, “Would you like 2nd dessert tonight, because I have a trifle in the fridge?”
I nearly died of shame.
30. Tiddy pic. While my mom was holding my phone.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-12--What You Can’t Let Get You Down, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Failure .
Just because you haven ’ t reached your goals yet doesn ’ t mean you ’ re never going to accomplish them .
Your relationship status .
Whether or not you ’ ve found love has no correlation to your value as a person .
Your mistakes .
You ’ re not perfect .
You ’ re not always going to get it right .
And that ’ s okay .
Toxic people .
You have to remember that the way they treat you reflects poorly on them , not on you .
Other people ’ s accomplishments @ @ @ @ @ @ @ failures .
You aren ’ t falling behind .
Yesterday .
You need to leave your pain in the past .
Focus on today .
And tomorrow .
Negative opinions of you .
Even though you want everyone to love you , you have to remember your happiness matters more than your reputation .
Your fears .
You can not remain in your comfort zone because you ’ re too scared to take a chance on yourself .
You need to take risks .
Your hardships .
Yes , you ’ ve been @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ve also gotten through them .
Your overthinking .
Sometimes , you need to take the leap .
Sometimes , you need to act instead of thinking about acting .
Your insecurities .
You don ’ t want to hold yourself back .
You need to believe in yourself .
The haters .
Just because other people aren ’ t on board with your life choices doesn ’ t mean they ’ re the wrong ones .

Aries
Failure. Just because you haven’t reached your goals yet doesn’t mean you’re never going to accomplish them.
Taurus
Your relationship status. Whether or not you’ve found love has no correlation to your value as a person.
Gemini
Your mistakes. You’re not perfect. You’re not always going to get it right. And that’s okay.
Cancer
Toxic people. You have to remember that the way they treat you reflects poorly on them, not on you.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
Leo
Other people’s accomplishments. Their successes aren’t your failures. You aren’t falling behind.
Virgo
Yesterday. You need to leave your pain in the past. Focus on today. And tomorrow.
Libra
Negative opinions of you. Even though you want everyone to love you, you have to remember your happiness matters more than your reputation.
Scorpio
Your fears. You cannot remain in your comfort zone because you’re too scared to take a chance on yourself. You need to take risks.
Sagittarius
Your hardships. Yes, you’ve been through tough moments — but you’ve also gotten through them.
Capricorn
Your overthinking. Sometimes, you need to take the leap. Sometimes, you need to act instead of thinking about acting.
Aquarius
Your insecurities. You don’t want to hold yourself back. You need to believe in yourself.
Pisces
The haters. Just because other people aren’t on board with your life choices doesn’t mean they’re the wrong ones.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-13--You Can Always Look For The Light

You Can Always Look For The Light

I ’ ve always loved this poem by Robert Frost , mainly because what he said eloquently describes what I think most brilliantly captures the decade that is our twenties .
The life we choose , at its core , stems from the decisions we made in our past .
Like Frost , we stand at a crossroads , making decisions based on what we know – what we ’ ve learned – perhaps from our childhood or adolescence , through lessons and heartbreaks that have stuck to our ribs like tangy barbecue on the Fourth of July .
The @ @ @ @ @ @ @ indicative of our future .
Here ’ s what I think about that .
I think your twenties are full of shit that make them less enjoyable .
Honestly .
How many of us have made jokes about experiencing a quarter-life crisis when we realize that we don ’ t have it all together by the time we ’ re 25 ?
We look at our twenties as a sort of mile marker ; we should have the cool , retro , artistic apartment in New York City , Chicago , or Los @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ; the boy , the girl , the whoever the fuck you want to love because finding love shouldn ’ t be this hard ?
We should have the money to be able to afford the lap of luxury or at the very least , a new blouse , Starbucks on your way to work and enough to splurge on a fancy Mexican dinner .
We should have it all together , all figured out .
But then 26 happens .
And 27 .
And then , on the cusp of 30 like @ @ @ @ @ @ @ wondering , “ How did it all go so wrong ?
” I ’ d be lying if I said I didn ’ t compare myself to the girls I went to high school with .
I do .
I wonder how they ’ ve stayed in perfect shape when I blossomed up four pant sizes since graduation .
I wonder how they can afford a house when I had to put back a velvet rust-colored comforter for $ 50 at Target last night .
I wonder how they have enough interest to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ afford to go on cruises and spontaneous trips and the list could honestly go on for infinity because social media is , if anything , a super lit highlight reel .
It seems so unfair , when I think about it but my life is the result of my decisions .
Like Frost , it ’ s easy to look backward and see where it all went wrong .
But you can always look for the light .
I think when someone tells us to look to the light – to look toward @ @ @ @ @ @ @ sort of cop-out .
It ’ s like our current feelings and current financial and emotional woes are being dismissed , tossed out like yesterday ’ s garbage .
But in actuality , it ’ s really fantastic advice .
You need to look toward the light because when you ’ re in the thick of a situation , it can be hard to see the forest through the trees .
It can be hard to think there is a way out when we ’ ve climbed so far into the rabbit hole @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a time when you ’ ve hit so low and your value and impression of your life seems so dark and incomplete that you have to take accountability for what ’ s gotten you to this point .
I look at my life and the fact that I had to put away a $ 50 comforter last night , not because I couldn ’ t afford it but because I didn ’ t have the wiggle room to buy something that I didn ’ t need this second .
I already have a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s white and cozy and it ’ s just lightweight enough that in the summer , it feels nice against my sunburnt skin .
I didn ’ t need to buy a hot , oversized velvet comforter in the early days of August .
Putting it back wasn ’ t a sign of weakness but a sign of growth , a sign of maturity , a sign that I ’ m becoming less reliant on credit cards because my debt has already outlined my future .
A future , mind you , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ A future , mind you , that I don ’ t have to have .
Those vacations , the apartment , the family – I ’ m the reason I don ’ t have them .
I made a lot of foolish choices in my early twenties that blossomed out of heartbreak , low self-esteem , and boredom .
My friends were credit cards .
My boyfriends , new stuff .
And nothing ever made me happy .
I always felt devoid no matter how much stuff I bought .
It never made @ @ @ @ @ @ @ from it .
I choose to enter the next decade of my life , the next phase of my life , wiser than how I left it .
I think we all make decisions that we ’ re not proud of and sometimes those decisions have to define our life for a while .
But I refuse to think that our twenties are inherently good .
I think we have to choose to MAKE them good .
I think we have to look at each heartache as a moment in time that stings @ @ @ @ @ @ @ have to stop being focused on what the other girls are doing on social media because guess what , social media is a complete and utter farce .
Anyone who claims to have it all together , doesn ’ t .
Anyone who claims to be happy , or “ living their truth , ” isn ’ t .
Because people who are happy , and put together and living their truth don ’ t have to announce it .
And even so , it ’ s impossible to be happy and put @ @ @ @ @ @ @ come out of something tragic one hundred percent of the time .
Looking for the light isn ’ t trying to look for the good in every situation ; it ’ s about realizing that the light is already inside of you for when life ’ s got you down , for when you ’ re comparing yourself to someone else who seems to be living the life you want so desperately .
It ’ s for when you ’ re telling yourself the bad words that have occupied your mind for way @ @ @ @ @ @ @ It ’ s for when your heart is broken and you think you need someone or stuff or trips or goals to define you , to fill that hole and make you feel like you ’ re worth something .
Goddamnit , you ARE worth something .
You ’ re here and you ’ re alive and you ’ re waking up in the morning showing up for the life you want .
You can feel it , see it , taste it and my God do you deserve it .
You can @ @ @ @ @ @ @ are the light ; it shines through your essence and glows out your fingertips and through your cheeks and glistening smile .
It ’ s enough to make you realize that hey , maybe some decisions in your life haven ’ t been the best but all you can do is learn from them , put in the work and change what you want to be different .
You don ’ t have to look for the good in every situation .
I ’ ll be the first one to tell you that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ no greater good .
Like death , like losing someone you love – there ’ s no good in that .
There ’ s no lesson to be learned there .
Life is cruel and ugly and disgusting .
You ’ re the brightest soul in the room , even if you don ’ t realize it .
But you will .
Your twenties are kind of crap but they really are a road diverged from yellow wood ; whatever decisions you make will define your future just like those you don ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to regrets the further you trek down the road .
Pick and choose what you ’ ll regret .
And don ’ t let anyone – yourself included – dull that light within you .

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” — Robert Frost
I’ve always loved this poem by Robert Frost, mainly because what he said eloquently describes what I think most brilliantly captures the decade that is our twenties. The life we choose, at its core, stems from the decisions we made in our past. Like Frost, we stand at a crossroads, making decisions based on what we know – what we’ve learned – perhaps from our childhood or adolescence, through lessons and heartbreaks that have stuck to our ribs like tangy barbecue on the Fourth of July. The path we choose to walk down is indicative of our future.
Here’s what I think about that.
I think your twenties are full of shit that make them less enjoyable. Honestly. How many of us have made jokes about experiencing a quarter-life crisis when we realize that we don’t have it all together by the time we’re 25? We look at our twenties as a sort of mile marker; we should have the cool, retro, artistic apartment in New York City, Chicago, or Los Angeles. We should have the romance; the boy, the girl, the whoever the fuck you want to love because finding love shouldn’t be this hard? We should have the money to be able to afford the lap of luxury or at the very least, a new blouse, Starbucks on your way to work and enough to splurge on a fancy Mexican dinner. We should have it all together, all figured out. But then 26 happens. And 27. And then, on the cusp of 30 like me, you’re sitting back wondering, “How did it all go so wrong?”
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t compare myself to the girls I went to high school with. I do. I wonder how they’ve stayed in perfect shape when I blossomed up four pant sizes since graduation. I wonder how they can afford a house when I had to put back a velvet rust-colored comforter for $50 at Target last night. I wonder how they have enough interest to start a family and how they can afford to go on cruises and spontaneous trips and the list could honestly go on for infinity because social media is, if anything, a super lit highlight reel. It seems so unfair, when I think about it but my life is the result of my decisions.
Like Frost, it’s easy to look backward and see where it all went wrong.
But you can always look for the light. I think when someone tells us to look to the light – to look toward the future – it feels like a sort of cop-out. It’s like our current feelings and current financial and emotional woes are being dismissed, tossed out like yesterday’s garbage. But in actuality, it’s really fantastic advice. You need to look toward the light because when you’re in the thick of a situation, it can be hard to see the forest through the trees. It can be hard to think there is a way out when we’ve climbed so far into the rabbit hole of misery and self-deprecation.
There comes a time when you’ve hit so low and your value and impression of your life seems so dark and incomplete that you have to take accountability for what’s gotten you to this point. I look at my life and the fact that I had to put away a $50 comforter last night, not because I couldn’t afford it but because I didn’t have the wiggle room to buy something that I didn’t need this second. I already have a comforter. A nice one; it’s white and cozy and it’s just lightweight enough that in the summer, it feels nice against my sunburnt skin. I didn’t need to buy a hot, oversized velvet comforter in the early days of August. Putting it back wasn’t a sign of weakness but a sign of growth, a sign of maturity, a sign that I’m becoming less reliant on credit cards because my debt has already outlined my future.
A future, mind you, that I don’t want. A future, mind you, that I don’t have to have.
Those vacations, the apartment, the family – I’m the reason I don’t have them. I made a lot of foolish choices in my early twenties that blossomed out of heartbreak, low self-esteem, and boredom. My friends were credit cards. My boyfriends, new stuff. And nothing ever made me happy. I always felt devoid no matter how much stuff I bought. It never made me happy but I choose to grow from it. I choose to enter the next decade of my life, the next phase of my life, wiser than how I left it.
I think we all make decisions that we’re not proud of and sometimes those decisions have to define our life for a while. But I refuse to think that our twenties are inherently good. I think we have to choose to MAKE them good. I think we have to look at each heartache as a moment in time that stings – a lot. I think we have to stop being focused on what the other girls are doing on social media because guess what, social media is a complete and utter farce. Anyone who claims to have it all together, doesn’t. Anyone who claims to be happy, or “living their truth,” isn’t. Because people who are happy, and put together and living their truth don’t have to announce it. And even so, it’s impossible to be happy and put together and focused on what GOOD can come out of something tragic one hundred percent of the time.
Looking for the light isn’t trying to look for the good in every situation; it’s about realizing that the light is already inside of you for when life’s got you down, for when you’re comparing yourself to someone else who seems to be living the life you want so desperately. It’s for when you’re telling yourself the bad words that have occupied your mind for way too many months, maybe years. It’s for when your heart is broken and you think you need someone or stuff or trips or goals to define you, to fill that hole and make you feel like you’re worth something. Goddamnit, you ARE worth something. You’re here and you’re alive and you’re waking up in the morning showing up for the life you want. You can feel it, see it, taste it and my God do you deserve it.
You can always look for the light because you are the light; it shines through your essence and glows out your fingertips and through your cheeks and glistening smile. It’s enough to make you realize that hey, maybe some decisions in your life haven’t been the best but all you can do is learn from them, put in the work and change what you want to be different. You don’t have to look for the good in every situation. I’ll be the first one to tell you that sometimes there are certain situations that have no greater good. Like death, like losing someone you love – there’s no good in that. There’s no lesson to be learned there. Life is cruel and ugly and disgusting.
But you’re not.
You’re the brightest soul in the room, even if you don’t realize it. But you will. Your twenties are kind of crap but they really are a road diverged from yellow wood; whatever decisions you make will define your future just like those you don’t always have the possibility of turning to regrets the further you trek down the road. Pick and choose what you’ll regret.
And don’t let anyone – yourself included – dull that light within you.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-13--If You’re Feeling Entirely Unlovable, Read This

First , know that it simply isn ’ t true .
The stories you tell yourself are lies .
You are not the degrading words you whisper in your own mind as you stare at every perceived flaw , naked in front of a poorly lit full-length mirror , craning your neck and twisting in order to judge yourself more harshly .
How much time , how much energy are you wasting gazing at supposed imperfections that no one else sees ?
You are a beautiful being , inside and out , and you are exactly as you are supposed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you tell yourself otherwise , you crumble your own foundations into complete disrepair .
The world is tough enough on you , sweet soul .
It doesn ’ t need you on the front lines of your own destruction .
You are not incapable , or trapped , or stupid .
You may think this because of the stories you tell yourself , or they may be stories that others insidiously , or even unknowingly , slipped into your subconscious .
Perhaps you ’ ve been pinned underneath these poisonous narratives for so @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
This is not your burden to carry .
You are the only person who can free you from your own pain , no matter how much anger and hurt you feel towards your past .
It was not your fault .
It should not have happened , but it did .
Now it is up to you to decide whether you continue clutching the blades of knives that others placed in your innocent palms , bleeding resentfully all over yourself long after they ’ ve gone .
You are not unworthy of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ In fact , it ’ s quite the opposite .
Those of you who feel this most deeply make it your mission in life to give those around you all the affection and fulfillment that you ’ ve always wanted yourselves .
Maybe you do this because you ’ re hoping to receive it in kind .
Maybe you simply know how painful it is to feel so intrinsically unworthy and want others to escape that same hurt .
Either way , you have a precious and deserving soul .
Every being on @ @ @ @ @ @ @ satisfying , joyful existence , whatever that means to each of them uniquely .
You are no different .
You are not a bad or unredeemable human being .
There is good in you , probably much more than you admit to yourself .
No matter what your history , no matter what you ’ ve done , said , or felt , you have value .
It is never too late to change your path and shift directions , as long as you have the desire and the willingness to break down @ @ @ @ @ @ @ new .
Shut off that horrible , judgmental voice in your head that tells you change is impossible .
There is nothing BUT change in life – it ’ s the only real certainty .
If you feel lost , trapped , afraid to move into your own truth , know that you are not alone .
Most humans carry the heaviness of suppressed emotions and fears all day , every day .
It ’ s okay to ask for help .
Don ’ t suffer in silence .
It ’ s not @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Are .
Lies .
You are worthy .
You are beautiful .
You are so incredibly lovable .
There is not another person like you in the entire world .
How shatteringly affirming is that concept ?
You are the only one , and you are perfect exactly as you are – your true self , your true essence .
Let go of the toxicity that only functions to push you down into despair .
Most of the baggage you are carrying probably isn ’ t even yours .
Someone else gave it @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Let it go .
Put it down and walk on , light , free , trusting that you can find your way .
You , my dear , are not only lovable , you are pure fucking magic .
Your very existence is a miracle .
Walk into the light where you belong .

First, know that it simply isn’t true.
The stories you tell yourself are lies.
You are not the degrading words you whisper in your own mind as you stare at every perceived flaw, naked in front of a poorly lit full-length mirror, craning your neck and twisting in order to judge yourself more harshly.
How much time, how much energy are you wasting gazing at supposed imperfections that no one else sees? You are a beautiful being, inside and out, and you are exactly as you are supposed to be in this moment. When you tell yourself otherwise, you crumble your own foundations into complete disrepair. The world is tough enough on you, sweet soul. It doesn’t need you on the front lines of your own destruction.
You are not incapable, or trapped, or stupid.
You may think this because of the stories you tell yourself, or they may be stories that others insidiously, or even unknowingly, slipped into your subconscious. Perhaps you’ve been pinned underneath these poisonous narratives for so long that you truly see no escape. This is not your burden to carry. You are the only person who can free you from your own pain, no matter how much anger and hurt you feel towards your past. It was not your fault. It should not have happened, but it did. Now it is up to you to decide whether you continue clutching the blades of knives that others placed in your innocent palms, bleeding resentfully all over yourself long after they’ve gone.
You are not unworthy of peace, fulfillment, and love.
In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Those of you who feel this most deeply make it your mission in life to give those around you all the affection and fulfillment that you’ve always wanted yourselves. Maybe you do this because you’re hoping to receive it in kind. Maybe you simply know how painful it is to feel so intrinsically unworthy and want others to escape that same hurt. Either way, you have a precious and deserving soul. Every being on this planet has the right to a satisfying, joyful existence, whatever that means to each of them uniquely. You are no different.
You are not a bad or unredeemable human being.
There is good in you, probably much more than you admit to yourself. No matter what your history, no matter what you’ve done, said, or felt, you have value. It is never too late to change your path and shift directions, as long as you have the desire and the willingness to break down your former self in service to the new. Shut off that horrible, judgmental voice in your head that tells you change is impossible. There is nothing BUT change in life – it’s the only real certainty. If you feel lost, trapped, afraid to move into your own truth, know that you are not alone. Most humans carry the heaviness of suppressed emotions and fears all day, every day. It’s okay to ask for help. Don’t suffer in silence. It’s not worth it.
The. Stories. Are. Lies. You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are so incredibly lovable. There is not another person like you in the entire world. How shatteringly affirming is that concept? You are the only one, and you are perfect exactly as you are – your true self, your true essence.
Let go of the toxicity that only functions to push you down into despair. Most of the baggage you are carrying probably isn’t even yours. Someone else gave it to you. Give it back. Let it go. Put it down and walk on, light, free, trusting that you can find your way.
You, my dear, are not only lovable, you are pure fucking magic. Your very existence is a miracle. Walk into the light where you belong.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-13--Why Each Zodiac Sign Feels Like They’re Losing Control

You don ’ t have a great work/life balance .
You ’ re struggling to get everything done in a day .
Your emotions have been all over the place lately .
You never stay happy for long .
Your schedule has been a shitshow .
You ’ ve been running around like a crazy person with a million things to do .
You ’ ve lost touch with some of your favorite people and are worried they ’ re slipping away from you .
You ’ ve been super forgetful lately .
You ’ ve been making a ton @ @ @ @ @ @ @ changed a great deal lately .
It feels like everything you used to know is a lie .
You ’ ve been snippy lately .
You ’ ve been having trouble controlling your moods .
You haven ’ t gotten a good night ’ s sleep in months .
You ’ ve really been struggling to stay awake .
You don ’ t know what you ’ re doing with your life .
You don ’ t know how to make yourself happy .
You ’ re trying to do everything on your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ out for the help you need .
You ’ ve been extra insecure lately .
You feel like you aren ’ t enough .
Your schedule is too packed .
You have too many things on your plate at once .

Aries
You don’t have a great work/life balance. You’re struggling to get everything done in a day.
Taurus
Your emotions have been all over the place lately. You never stay happy for long.
Gemini
Your schedule has been a shitshow. You’ve been running around like a crazy person with a million things to do.
Cancer
You’ve lost touch with some of your favorite people and are worried they’re slipping away from you.
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Leo
You’ve been super forgetful lately. You’ve been making a ton of silly mistakes.
Virgo
Your life has changed a great deal lately. It feels like everything you used to know is a lie.
Libra
You’ve been snippy lately. You’ve been having trouble controlling your moods.
Scorpio
You haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in months. You’ve really been struggling to stay awake.
Sagittarius
You don’t know what you’re doing with your life. You don’t know how to make yourself happy.
Capricorn
You’re trying to do everything on your own. You aren’t reaching out for the help you need.
Aquarius
You’ve been extra insecure lately. You feel like you aren’t enough.
Pisces
Your schedule is too packed. You have too many things on your plate at once.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-13--22 Inspiring Things To Say To Yourself In The Mirror After A Bad Heartache

1 .
You are a badass .
You are a fighter .
You are going to get over this heartbreak and emerge stronger than before .
2 .
You didn ’ t deserve what they did to you .
You are not to blame for their mistreatment of you .
You are not in control of their actions .
You are only in control of your own .
3 .
It wasn ’ t your fault someone toxic picked you as a target .
It doesn ’ t mean you were weak or gullible .
It simply means you chose @ @ @ @ @ @ @ hoped saw the best in you too .
4 .
You are lovable , even if they did not love you .
You are beautiful , even if you do not feel that way right now .
5 .
You never have to settle in a relationship or a friendship or a career .
Keep your expectations high .
Consistently remind yourself of what you deserve .
6 .
If someone can not treat you right , they don ’ t deserve any part of you .
You don ’ t owe them @ @ @ @ @ @ @ You aren ’ t obligated to listen to their apology or let them back into your world .
7 .
Heartache will only make your heart stronger .
Remember , your vulnerability is a strength , not a weakness .
8 .
Not everyone is going to hurt you the way they have hurt you .
History isn ’ t going to continue to repeat itself .
You should be careful moving forward , but you should not be closed off or you could miss out on something great .
9 .
If @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , it wasn ’ t meant to last .
You are meant to discover something even greater .
10 .
Even if it feels like your world is ending , everything is going to be okay soon .
One day , you are going to wake up without their name in your head .
You are going to smile and laugh — and it won ’ t have anything to do with them .
11 .
Dating isn ’ t supposed to make you this miserable .
It ’ s not supposed to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ The right person is going to make the bullshit you ’ re going through now feel less shitty .
They are going to make you happy you held out for something better .
13 .
You can cry over them today .
But don ’ t cry over them tomorrow .
They don ’ t deserve to take up too much space in your mind .
14 .
Just because this relationship didn ’ t work out doesn ’ t mean the next one isn ’ t going to work out .
Each @ @ @ @ @ @ @ different .
15 .
Your soft heart is a blessing , not a curse .
Feeling as strongly as you do is what makes you such a beautiful human .
16 .
You deserve the type of love you ’ ve been trying to give to others .
Don ’ t let yourself settle for less .
17 .
You matter .
You mean something .
Never doubt that fact .
18 .
Every broken heart can love again .
This isn ’ t the last time you ’ ll feel butterflies .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ anything to be ashamed about .
It ’ s healthy to be in touch with your emotions — even if that means crying your eyes out .
20 .
Heartache happens to everyone .
But there is more love in your life than you realize .
21 .
You are going to find happiness .
You are going to find peace .
You are going to be okay .
22 .
You don ’ t have to change yourself in order to convince someone to love you .
You aren ’ t perfect @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that ’ s what matters .

1. You are a badass. You are a fighter. You are going to get over this heartbreak and emerge stronger than before.
2. You didn’t deserve what they did to you. You are not to blame for their mistreatment of you. You are not in control of their actions. You are only in control of your own.
3. It wasn’t your fault someone toxic picked you as a target. It doesn’t mean you were weak or gullible. It simply means you chose to see the best in someone you hoped saw the best in you too.
4. You are lovable, even if they did not love you. You are beautiful, even if you do not feel that way right now.
5. You never have to settle in a relationship or a friendship or a career. Keep your expectations high. Consistently remind yourself of what you deserve.
6. If someone cannot treat you right, they don’t deserve any part of you. You don’t owe them a phone call or a text. You aren’t obligated to listen to their apology or let them back into your world.
7. Heartache will only make your heart stronger. Remember, your vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.
8. Not everyone is going to hurt you the way they have hurt you. History isn’t going to continue to repeat itself. You should be careful moving forward, but you should not be closed off or you could miss out on something great.
9. If your relationship didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to last. You are meant to discover something even greater.
10. Even if it feels like your world is ending, everything is going to be okay soon. One day, you are going to wake up without their name in your head. You are going to smile and laugh — and it won’t have anything to do with them.
11. Dating isn’t supposed to make you this miserable. It’s not supposed to make you this stressed.
12. The right person is going to make the bullshit you’re going through now feel less shitty. They are going to make you happy you held out for something better.
13. You can cry over them today. But don’t cry over them tomorrow. They don’t deserve to take up too much space in your mind.
14. Just because this relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean the next one isn’t going to work out. Each relationship is different. Each love is different.
15. Your soft heart is a blessing, not a curse. Feeling as strongly as you do is what makes you such a beautiful human.
16. You deserve the type of love you’ve been trying to give to others. Don’t let yourself settle for less.
17. You matter. You mean something. Never doubt that fact.
18. Every broken heart can love again. This isn’t the last time you’ll feel butterflies.
19. Falling apart isn’t anything to be ashamed about. It’s healthy to be in touch with your emotions — even if that means crying your eyes out.
20. Heartache happens to everyone. But there is more love in your life than you realize.
21. You are going to find happiness. You are going to find peace. You are going to be okay.
22. You don’t have to change yourself in order to convince someone to love you. You aren’t perfect, but you are growing, and that’s what matters.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-13--30 Reasons Why People Ignore Texts From People They Love

1 .
I just don ’ t have the mental capacity and energy to devote in order to respond appropriately .
I ’ d rather ignore it until I ’ m in a better place to answer than send a thumbs up or something .
2 .
I sometimes don ’ t know how to respond .
I like to keep conversations going , so I really dislike sending back one word answers .
But sometimes the texter doesn ’ t really leave me with many options , so I sit on it and then forget .
3 .
I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Non-urgent messages don ’ t take priority .
That doesn ’ t mean you are not a priority , but in that moment you are represented only by some words on a screen that have nothing to do with what I ’ m currently focusing on .
4 .
Because I ’ m tired of being a landfill for their problems .
They only come to me to vent about their troubles and any attempts to steer the conversation away from that leads to a dead end .
I ’ m not a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ me is a tiring conversation that ’ s gon na leave me feeling drained , it ’ s not worth my time .
5 .
Because my mood is already crappy from some other unrelated occurrence .
I know I will be somewhat rude once I ’ m in a crappy mood , and I would prefer not to subject my family to my mood swings .
6 .
I ’ m in a crappy mood and don ’ t want to be rude .
7 .
It ’ s something I don @ @ @ @ @ @ @ or I just find it pointless to reply to .
8 .
My family is fairly large and very , umm , spirited in expressing strongly held opinions .
They also are less than enthusiastic about viewpoints that disagree with them .
Do I love my family ?
Absolutely 100 % !
Would I give any of them one of my kidneys to save a life ?
Without hesitation !
Do I get really fucking tired of hearing about why the moon landing was fake and sometimes just ignore the message ?
Yep @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
I do this to my brother all the time .
Love him to death but he is about the only one I don ’ t think would be too upset to not get an immediate response .
It ’ s nothing personal at all , it ’ s like I can ’ t even with life right now .
10 .
Sometimes I just don ’ t feel like talking to anyone so I ignore them… 11 .
Because I don ’ t feel like it .
Just because anyone can instantaneously @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I owe it to them .
13 .
I hate how I have this device with me 24/7 that gives everyone I know the ability to stop what I ’ m doing and turn my attention to them .
14 .
They ’ re being needy or annoying ( ex : asking for water while they ’ re perfectly capable of bringing it themselves ) .
15.Because sometimes it ’ s something completely meaningless and I don ’ t think I actually have to answer .
16 .
That ’ s the best @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
You can pretend you didn ’ t see it for awhile , and no one can prove you didn ’ t .
I use that all the time .
17 .
I occasionally “ ignore ” them for a couple of hours because I decide for myself when I want to have a conversation and when I want to focus on what I am doing right now .
18 .
People will call if they need to get hold of you urgently .
Text messages are not urgent , under any circumstances @ @ @ @ @ @ @ or accept that I will read my messages when at a time that suits me .
And that may take a while… 20 .
Sometimes as I can ’ t think of a reply , then time goes by and it seems awkward to then send a reply with a “ sorry it has taken me three days to respond ” half arsed message in it .
So I bury my head in the sand .
21 .
Because of depression .
I just don ’ t want to do anything .
Don @ @ @ @ @ @ @ social , etc .
It ’ s too mentally and emotionally taxing , and I got ta spend what little will that I do have on stuff like eating , showering , and getting dressed and whatnot .
22 .
If it ’ s a ‘ life story ’ size message I have to be in the mood to read it and put effort into replying , I know that sounds bad but I want to reply with equal enthusiasm and if I ’ m not in the mood or my mind is @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be flat and it ruins conversations .
However if it ’ s something that requires an urgent response I will respond within the hour .
23 .
Because I ’ m fucking exhausted and I can ’ t stand even an ounce of human interaction right now .
24 .
Sometimes life is overwhelming and being able to ignore a few messages feels like a mental break .
25 .
I feel like the phone is a “ cheat ” , so I try to stay away as much as I can without @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I get distracted while deciding what response to go with and end up not texting back .
27 .
I open it and TRULY forget to respond and then proceed to forget I ever got the text in the first place .
29 .
Sometimes I just want to enjoy my personal zone and not talk to anyone , even though I often really love the people I “ ignore ” .
30 .
Sometimes I just don ’ t have the energy to converse with someone .
I just don ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ moment .

A few people from Ask Reddit have explained why they ignore texts, even when they love the other person.
1. I just don’t have the mental capacity and energy to devote in order to respond appropriately. I’d rather ignore it until I’m in a better place to answer than send a thumbs up or something.
2. I sometimes don’t know how to respond. I like to keep conversations going, so I really dislike sending back one word answers. But sometimes the texter doesn’t really leave me with many options, so I sit on it and then forget.
3. I’m fucking busy, man. Non-urgent messages don’t take priority. That doesn’t mean you are not a priority, but in that moment you are represented only by some words on a screen that have nothing to do with what I’m currently focusing on.
4. Because I’m tired of being a landfill for their problems. They only come to me to vent about their troubles and any attempts to steer the conversation away from that leads to a dead end. I’m not a therapist. If all they got for me is a tiring conversation that’s gonna leave me feeling drained, it’s not worth my time.
5. Because my mood is already crappy from some other unrelated occurrence. I know I will be somewhat rude once I’m in a crappy mood, and I would prefer not to subject my family to my mood swings.
6. I’m in a crappy mood and don’t want to be rude.
7. It’s something I don’t know how to respond to or I just find it pointless to reply to.
8. My family is fairly large and very, umm, spirited in expressing strongly held opinions. They also are less than enthusiastic about viewpoints that disagree with them.
Do I love my family? Absolutely 100%! Would I give any of them one of my kidneys to save a life? Without hesitation! Do I get really fucking tired of hearing about why the moon landing was fake and sometimes just ignore the message? Yep.
9. Depression type situation usually. I do this to my brother all the time. Love him to death but he is about the only one I don’t think would be too upset to not get an immediate response. It’s nothing personal at all, it’s like I can’t even with life right now.
10. Sometimes I just don’t feel like talking to anyone so I ignore them…
11. Because I don’t feel like it. Just because anyone can instantaneously demand my attention doesn’t mean I owe it to them.
12. Social interactions can be exhausting.
13. I hate how I have this device with me 24/7 that gives everyone I know the ability to stop what I’m doing and turn my attention to them.
14. They’re being needy or annoying (ex: asking for water while they’re perfectly capable of bringing it themselves).
15.Because sometimes it’s something completely meaningless and I don’t think I actually have to answer.
16. That’s the best part of text messages: plausible deniability. You can pretend you didn’t see it for awhile, and no one can prove you didn’t. I use that all the time.
17. I occasionally “ignore” them for a couple of hours because I decide for myself when I want to have a conversation and when I want to focus on what I am doing right now.
18. People will call if they need to get hold of you urgently. Text messages are not urgent, under any circumstances. Ever. Either call me, or accept that I will read my messages when at a time that suits me. And that may take a while…
19. Too anxious to reply.
20. Sometimes as I can’t think of a reply, then time goes by and it seems awkward to then send a reply with a “sorry it has taken me three days to respond” half arsed message in it. So I bury my head in the sand.
21. Because of depression. I just don’t want to do anything. Don’t want to talk, be social, etc. It’s too mentally and emotionally taxing, and I gotta spend what little will that I do have on stuff like eating, showering, and getting dressed and whatnot.
22. If it’s a ‘life story’ size message I have to be in the mood to read it and put effort into replying, I know that sounds bad but I want to reply with equal enthusiasm and if I’m not in the mood or my mind is on something else my replies can often be flat and it ruins conversations. However if it’s something that requires an urgent response I will respond within the hour.
23. Because I’m fucking exhausted and I can’t stand even an ounce of human interaction right now.
24. Sometimes life is overwhelming and being able to ignore a few messages feels like a mental break.
25. I feel like the phone is a “cheat”, so I try to stay away as much as I can without being a total hermit.
26. I get distracted while deciding what response to go with and end up not texting back.
27. I open it and TRULY forget to respond and then proceed to forget I ever got the text in the first place.
28. I’m pretty selective with whom I message.
29. Sometimes I just want to enjoy my personal zone and not talk to anyone, even though I often really love the people I “ignore”.
30. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy to converse with someone. I just don’t feel like maintaining a conversation at that moment.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-13--6 Reminders To Read When You Get Ghosted

1 .
You probably didn ’ t do anything wrong .
You have to stop replaying conversations in your head and trying to figure out where you went wrong because you probably didn ’ t mess up as badly as you think .
This person probably would ’ ve ended up walking away from you , regardless of how you chose to behave .
This situation doesn ’ t reflect poorly on you .
It doesn ’ t mean you ’ re unattractive or unlovable .
It says more about them than it says about you .
2 .
You @ @ @ @ @ @ @ who refuses to put in effort of their own .
As badly as you want to reach out to this person , to reconnect with them and figure out what went wrong , you need to ask yourself whether they are worth the trouble .
Are they giving you as much as you ’ ve been giving them ?
Are they making you feel valued ?
Or are you the one who is always putting in the energy , always initiating the texts and the hangout sessions ?
Your relationship is meant to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ haven ’ t done much for you up until this point , you might not want to reach out to them again .
3 .
Their sudden disappearance probably wasn ’ t meant to insult you .
They probably weren ’ t trying to be mean .
They were probably trying to let you down easy .
They probably assumed you would get the hint once they stopped answering messages and didn ’ t realize walking away would upset you this badly .
You ’ re allowed to cry over what they did @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to be angry .
But you have to remember , they probably weren ’ t actively aiming to make you fall apart .
4 .
You ’ ve probably done the same thing at one point or another .
Haven ’ t there been times when you ’ ve left messages unanswered in the past ?
Maybe you were swamped with work .
Maybe you were busy dealing with mental health issues .
Or maybe you were dealing with family problems .
The point is , just because they dropped out of your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your guts .
They might have naturally let you slip away because they had other things to worry about .
The timing might have been bad .
It wasn ’ t actually your fault at all .
5 .
You are worthy of the world .
You deserve a partner who answers your messages — but you deserve more than that .
You deserve happiness .
You deserve peace .
You deserve respect and self-fulfillment .
You deserve to find someone who meets your highest expectations .
Remember , you should never settle @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your heartaches convince you that you ’ re going to be alone forever .
Your loneliness is only temporary .
Your sadness is only one step along a long journey .
6 .
There are plenty of other people out there who will be a better match for you .
You might ’ ve gotten ghosted once or twice , but it isn ’ t going to happen every single time you develop a deep connection with someone .
Eventually , your relationship is going to stick .
You ’ re going to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to create something real .
You don ’ t want what happened to you to turn you into a cynic .
You ’ ll find someone worthwhile eventually .
Things will work out for the best in the end .

1. You probably didn’t do anything wrong. You have to stop replaying conversations in your head and trying to figure out where you went wrong because you probably didn’t mess up as badly as you think. This person probably would’ve ended up walking away from you, regardless of how you chose to behave. This situation doesn’t reflect poorly on you. It doesn’t mean you’re unattractive or unlovable. It says more about them than it says about you.
2. You shouldn’t put effort into someone who refuses to put in effort of their own. As badly as you want to reach out to this person, to reconnect with them and figure out what went wrong, you need to ask yourself whether they are worth the trouble. Are they giving you as much as you’ve been giving them? Are they making you feel valued? Or are you the one who is always putting in the energy, always initiating the texts and the hangout sessions? Your relationship is meant to be a two-way street. If they haven’t done much for you up until this point, you might not want to reach out to them again.
3. Their sudden disappearance probably wasn’t meant to insult you. They probably weren’t trying to be mean. They were probably trying to let you down easy. They probably assumed you would get the hint once they stopped answering messages and didn’t realize walking away would upset you this badly. You’re allowed to cry over what they did to you. You’re allowed to be angry. But you have to remember, they probably weren’t actively aiming to make you fall apart.
4. You’ve probably done the same thing at one point or another. Haven’t there been times when you’ve left messages unanswered in the past? Maybe you were swamped with work. Maybe you were busy dealing with mental health issues. Or maybe you were dealing with family problems. The point is, just because they dropped out of your life doesn’t mean they hate your guts. They might have naturally let you slip away because they had other things to worry about. The timing might have been bad. It wasn’t actually your fault at all.
5. You are worthy of the world. You deserve a partner who answers your messages — but you deserve more than that. You deserve happiness. You deserve peace. You deserve respect and self-fulfillment. You deserve to find someone who meets your highest expectations. Remember, you should never settle for less. You should never let your heartaches convince you that you’re going to be alone forever. Your loneliness is only temporary. Your sadness is only one step along a long journey.
6. There are plenty of other people out there who will be a better match for you. You might’ve gotten ghosted once or twice, but it isn’t going to happen every single time you develop a deep connection with someone. Eventually, your relationship is going to stick. You’re going to continue talking. You’re going to create something real. You don’t want what happened to you to turn you into a cynic. You’ll find someone worthwhile eventually. Things will work out for the best in the end.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-13--Why Each Zodiac Sign Has Trouble Talking To New People

You aren ’ t good at small talk .
You want to dive deeper — and this intimidates some people .
You don ’ t like making the first move .
You want other people to approach you .
You feel like you ’ re awkward .
You feel like you come across as a weirdo .
You ’ re worried you ’ re bothering them and wasting their time , so you keep to yourself .
You ’ re worried about appearing clingy and coming on too strong .
You ’ re an old soul .
You ’ re @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your age .
You put others on pedestals .
You view them too highly and psych yourself out .
You feel like an outsider .
You feel different from everyone else .
You like being left alone .
Most of the time , you aren ’ t in the mood to talk .
It ’ s hard for you to form genuine connections .
Most people annoy you .
You don ’ t feel comfortable with anyone until you really get to know them .
You ’ re worried they won ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ hear what you have to say , so you completely avoid them .

Aries
You aren’t good at small talk. You want to dive deeper — and this intimidates some people.
Taurus
You don’t like making the first move. You want other people to approach you.
Gemini
You feel like you’re awkward. You feel like you come across as a weirdo.
Cancer
You’re worried you’re bothering them and wasting their time, so you keep to yourself.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
Leo
You’re worried about appearing clingy and coming on too strong.
Virgo
You’re an old soul. You’re never sure how to interact with someone your age.
Libra
You put others on pedestals. You view them too highly and psych yourself out.
Scorpio
You feel like an outsider. You feel different from everyone else.
Sagittarius
You like being left alone. Most of the time, you aren’t in the mood to talk.
Capricorn
It’s hard for you to form genuine connections. Most people annoy you.
Aquarius
You don’t feel comfortable with anyone until you really get to know them.
Pisces
You’re worried they won’t want to be friends with you or hear what you have to say, so you completely avoid them.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-14--This Was Never A Love Story

This Was Never A Love Story

This is what ’ s going to happen the day after he leaves you heartbroken in the parking lot that was once home to all your favorite moments .
You ’ re going to wake up with last night ’ s makeup stained on your white pillowcase and reach over to his side of the bed out of habit because , for approximately three seconds , you ’ ll forget that he ’ s gone .
You ’ re going to curse the sun for her audacity to still rise when your world went dark only 12 hours ago .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ blackout curtains tightly and you ’ re going to tuck yourself back in bed , your heartbreak playlist humming through your headphones .
You are going to lay in fetal position and feel the palpable weight of his absence .
You are going to clutch your chest in between guttural sobs and check your pulse to make sure your heart ’ s still beating .
You ’ re going to get up and rummage through your closet when you remember the pile of his hoodies folded in the back .
You ’ re @ @ @ @ @ @ @ while you scroll through your phone , looking at all your missed calls and texts .
None of them matter .
None of them is him .
You ’ re going to jump out of bed and rip his hoodie off because his scent is lingering in the air and you ’ re going to convince yourself that you can ’ t breath .
Because you can ’ t .
Not without him .
You ’ re going to run outside and gasp for air .
You ’ re going to run back @ @ @ @ @ @ @ spot and flashback to where he first told you he loved you and then where he told you he was leaving .
Back to the spot where he told you it was over .
You ’ re going to trace your steps from the night before—trace your steps from all the times you walked the same black pavement .
You ’ re going to try to find signs in the cracks .
Signs in the spaces between parked cars .
Signs in all the quiet , intimate moments in that parking lot .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ coming .
Maybe I was so desperate to know love again that I made a home out of your heart before I noticed the flickering No Vacancy sign outside your window .
Maybe because when I was 19 , I fell in love with a green-eyed boy who mistook my kindness for weakness .
Who kissed me a little too hard .
Who never asked for permission .
Who laughed when I told him no .
Who never cared if I was okay .
Who never cared at all .
Maybe it was @ @ @ @ @ @ @ an ice cream shop that July night and I told you about him , you listened .
Maybe because you dared to hear me in a way no one ever had before .
Maybe because you made me feel like I deserved better .
Maybe I believed you .
And maybe that was my mistake .
Maybe there ’ s nothing beautiful here .
Maybe there never was .
Maybe I kept my face so far towards the sun that I was blinded to all the destruction around me .
But we were @ @ @ @ @ @ @ we ?
Midnight walks arm in arm , conversations in the middle of a crowded bar .
Poring over books , and music , and art .
Stolen kisses and glances across the room .
I Love You ’ s and I Need You ’ s and I ’ ll Never Leave .
Nature walks and drives across state lines .
Running through my parking lot in the dead of winter .
Whisky on our breath .
Tangled sheets .
The 1 a.m. calls .
How you begged me to leave you alone @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on the cobblestone .
Crying in your arms .
My breath on your neck .
Your arms around me .
Your hand on my chest .
You telling me you love me .
Me wanting it to be different .
Me wanting it to be enough .
The night we drove for hours trying to get an answer .
Speeding down the highway .
The lump in my throat .
The way I pull away when you come in for a hug .
Your apologies .
The solemn look you gave me when @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you were hurting me .
The silence that filled the air .
Because yes , of course .
But it was less of a hurt and more of a storm ravaging through my rib cage leaving me with nothing but a pile of debris .
And maybe I saw sparks when I should have seen rubble .
Maybe there was magic in the prologue and despair in the epilogue .
Maybe I have always been a mess of a girl begging to make roots and a home out of a bird who wants @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and fly .
Maybe my love is a hunger and your love is a thirst and water just won ’ t ever be enough to fill me .
Maybe this was never a love story .
But we ’ ll always have the parking lot .
The parking lot where I called after you when you threw your hands in the air and walked away .
The parking lot where you picked me up and spun me around and told me you loved me .
The parking lot where you planted a kiss @ @ @ @ @ @ @ me after receiving life-altering news .
The parking lot where we have all our big moments .
Where we ’ ve sat for hours looking at the stars , talking about the vastness of the world .
The parking lot where we grew up .
Where we faced hard truths and dreamed big dreams .
We ’ ll always have that parking lot where my words were lodged in my throat .
Where I tried to scream for you , but all that came out was a hoarse little “ Come back.
” @ @ @ @ @ @ @ lot because you came running back , just for a second , because you knew .
You knew what the crack in my voice meant—you knew what I was trying to say .
You knew that I needed you back , but you knew that you had to let go .
Maybe we were just two ships passing by , and maybe I held onto all our moments and strung them together and dared them to make sense .
Dared them to be our story .
Because when I close my eyes right @ @ @ @ @ @ @ parking lot , and we are sitting in your car , and I can feel it .
The breath of your departure .
You ’ re wearing your last goodbye on your face and I am gripping my chest , looking out the window .
Because looking at you means that I love you and looking away means forgetting what those eyes mean to me .
Looking away means putting a pause on a closing door .
Looking away means hanging onto the threads that you are letting go of .
Looking away @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ours to tell .
This story was never ours to tell .
Maybe these were the signs all along .
And maybe I was too blind to see them .
We ’ ll always have that parking lot , but we ’ ll never have a love story , because this… this was never a love story , even if it was .

This is what’s going to happen the day after he leaves you heartbroken in the parking lot that was once home to all your favorite moments. You’re going to wake up with last night’s makeup stained on your white pillowcase and reach over to his side of the bed out of habit because, for approximately three seconds, you’ll forget that he’s gone. You’re going to curse the sun for her audacity to still rise when your world went dark only 12 hours ago. You’re going to draw your blackout curtains tightly and you’re going to tuck yourself back in bed, your heartbreak playlist humming through your headphones.
You are going to lay in fetal position and feel the palpable weight of his absence. You are going to clutch your chest in between guttural sobs and check your pulse to make sure your heart’s still beating. You’re going to get up and rummage through your closet when you remember the pile of his hoodies folded in the back. You’re going to climb into your favorite one while you scroll through your phone, looking at all your missed calls and texts. None of them matter. None of them is him.
You’re going to jump out of bed and rip his hoodie off because his scent is lingering in the air and you’re going to convince yourself that you can’t breath. Because you can’t. Not without him. You’re going to run outside and gasp for air.
You’re going to run back to that parking lot—back to that very spot and flashback to where he first told you he loved you and then where he told you he was leaving. Back to the spot where he told you it was over. You’re going to trace your steps from the night before—trace your steps from all the times you walked the same black pavement. You’re going to try to find signs in the cracks. Signs in the spaces between parked cars. Signs in all the quiet, intimate moments in that parking lot. Signs that you would have seen this coming.
Maybe I was so desperate to know love again that I made a home out of your heart before I noticed the flickering No Vacancy sign outside your window. Maybe because when I was 19, I fell in love with a green-eyed boy who mistook my kindness for weakness. Who kissed me a little too hard. Who never asked for permission. Who laughed when I told him no. Who never cared if I was okay. Who never cared at all. Maybe it was because when we sat in front of an ice cream shop that July night and I told you about him, you listened. Maybe because you dared to hear me in a way no one ever had before. Maybe because you made me feel like I deserved better. Maybe I believed you. And maybe that was my mistake.
Maybe there’s nothing beautiful here. Maybe there never was.
Maybe I kept my face so far towards the sun that I was blinded to all the destruction around me. But we were a love story, weren’t we? Midnight walks arm in arm, conversations in the middle of a crowded bar. Poring over books, and music, and art. Stolen kisses and glances across the room. I Love You’s and I Need You’s and I’ll Never Leave. Nature walks and drives across state lines. Running through my parking lot in the dead of winter. Whisky on our breath. Tangled sheets. The 1 a.m. calls. How you begged me to leave you alone. Lying on the pavement. Screaming on the cobblestone. Crying in your arms. My breath on your neck. Your arms around me. Your hand on my chest. You telling me you love me. Me wanting it to be different. Me wanting it to be enough. The night we drove for hours trying to get an answer. Speeding down the highway. The lump in my throat. The way I pull away when you come in for a hug. Your apologies. The solemn look you gave me when you told me to tell you if you were hurting me. The silence that filled the air.
Because yes, of course. But it was less of a hurt and more of a storm ravaging through my rib cage leaving me with nothing but a pile of debris. And maybe I saw sparks when I should have seen rubble. Maybe there was magic in the prologue and despair in the epilogue. Maybe I have always been a mess of a girl begging to make roots and a home out of a bird who wants nothing but to repair his broken wings and fly. Maybe my love is a hunger and your love is a thirst and water just won’t ever be enough to fill me.
Maybe this was never a love story.
But we’ll always have the parking lot. The parking lot where I called after you when you threw your hands in the air and walked away. The parking lot where you picked me up and spun me around and told me you loved me. The parking lot where you planted a kiss on my forehead in gratitude and held me after receiving life-altering news. The parking lot where we have all our big moments. Where we’ve sat for hours looking at the stars, talking about the vastness of the world. The parking lot where we grew up. Where we faced hard truths and dreamed big dreams. We’ll always have that parking lot where my words were lodged in my throat. Where I tried to scream for you, but all that came out was a hoarse little “Come back.” We’ll always have that parking lot because you came running back, just for a second, because you knew. You knew what the crack in my voice meant—you knew what I was trying to say. You knew that I needed you back, but you knew that you had to let go.
Maybe we were just two ships passing by, and maybe I held onto all our moments and strung them together and dared them to make sense. Dared them to be our story. Because when I close my eyes right now, I am back in that parking lot, and we are sitting in your car, and I can feel it. The breath of your departure. You’re wearing your last goodbye on your face and I am gripping my chest, looking out the window. Because looking at you means that I love you and looking away means forgetting what those eyes mean to me. Looking away means putting a pause on a closing door. Looking away means hanging onto the threads that you are letting go of. Looking away means that this story isn’t ours to tell. This story was never ours to tell. Maybe these were the signs all along. And maybe I was too blind to see them. We’ll always have that parking lot, but we’ll never have a love story, because this… this was never a love story, even if it was.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-14--10 Gentle Reminders For When Getting Over Them Feels Impossible

The process of healing from a breakup is tedious .
A lot of nights are spent attempting to make sense of how it all ended .
You wonder , day by day , how can two people who loved each other fall apart so quickly .
You ask yourself if there ’ s something you could have done to save the relationship .
You imagine different scenarios .
You look back and analyze and find clues and meanings , only to arrive at the same conclusion that the person who once was special to you is now gone .
This @ @ @ @ @ @ @ getting over them any easier .
When you find it difficult to move forward in life without them , these reminders might be helpful : 1 .
If they truly believe in the relationship , they will fight for it .
No matter who initiated the breakup the simple fact is if they really see their future with you , they will try their best to make the relationship work .
It won ’ t be easy to just let you go .
The way people ’ s minds work , most of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s either they are all in with you , or they ’ re not .
If someone walks away from a partnership , and you don ’ t hear from them after quite a while , it ’ s probably time to move on .
2 .
It ’ s not a sign of weakness to admit that you are hurting .
Part of falling in love is sharing parts of yourself with another person .
You allow them to see you from inside out .
You create beautiful memories with @ @ @ @ @ @ @ life , it can feel like they left a hole that is too big to cover with a band-aid .
This is the most painful part of a breakup .
The idea of starting all over again on your own .
It is okay to recognize that you ’ re scared .
It is okay to admit to yourself that you are hurting .
Being honest with yourself about what you ’ re going through will somehow make the process of healing more manageable .
3 .
Losing someone is not the end @ @ @ @ @ @ @ can feel like it in the beginning , but in reality , life will go on .
Time will not stop ticking .
The sun will still show up tomorrow , and everybody will carry on with their usual day-to-day tasks .
You are allowed to take as much time as you need to deal with the pain inside your chest .
Give yourself space to reflect on everything that happened .
But at some point , you have to go back to living your normal life .
You have to learn how @ @ @ @ @ @ @ hope that along the way the pain will go away .
4 .
This is an opportunity for you to have me-time again .
When was the last time you did something or made a decision without taking someone else ’ s feelings or opinions into consideration ?
How long has it been since you actually had time for yourself ?
It ’ s nice to be with the person that you love , to be selfless , and to do things for other people .
But in the process of doing so @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the care and attention that you deserve .
Stepping out of a relationship allows you to return to that mental space where you can enjoy solitude .
You can have the opportunity to be reacquainted with yourself without the influence of other people .
5 .
Forgiveness might not be easy but it will surely help you move forward .
I get it .
Forgiveness is heroic and reserved for people with the kindest hearts .
It is not easy to give to someone who broke your heart .
But a key to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ is to absolve them of the sins they committed against you .
It doesn ’ t have to happen overnight .
It doesn ’ t require a deadline .
But you can start forgiving them now – slowly , day by day .
Being the bigger person somehow lessens the weight off of your shoulders .
6 .
Sometimes even the greatest relationship doesn ’ t last forever .
Not everything stays afloat in the sky .
At some point , things come back to the ground .
Sometimes they land gracefully , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Either way , the time spent together above didn ’ t last a lifetime .
This can happen even to the two people you least expect to separate .
Relationships are not an easy-breezy thing to manage .
If someone stops trying , it ’ s all downhill from there .
That ’ s why every single day , somewhere in this world , a marriage ends up in a divorce or a relationship breaks apart .
Almost all of us go through this .
Thinking about it doesn ’ t absolutely take @ @ @ @ @ @ @ make you feel less alone .
7 .
It ’ s possible that one day you will find someone better .
If you think about it , there is surely a match for you out there .
In a world of 7 billion people , you only need to find one person .
Chances are , you will come across different people over the months and years who will open your eyes to the possibility that you will meet someone better than your ex .
You ’ ve learned your lessons .
You @ @ @ @ @ @ @ know yourself more .
And so , when you have a strong sense of self and know exactly what you are looking for , you will attract the person who fits you .
8 .
You have to be okay with letting people go .
The pain of realizing your future will no longer involve them is immeasurable .
It ’ s strange to go on in your daily routine knowing the person you ’ re accustomed to being around is no longer there .
Some days this is going to make you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you have to learn to be okay with it .
Because part of life is learning to let people go .
To let them become who they want to be without you in the picture .
Some people will come into your life and leave .
And when the time arrives that they have to go , you must set them free .
9 .
The only thing you can control at this point is your own life .
Whatever they ’ re doing right now is , sadly , none of your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ someone new , that ’ s their choice .
And you can ’ t control it or have influence over it .
The only thing that you can control now is how you move on .
You have to find ways to reunite with yourself .
You have to train yourself not to stalk them or check on them .
You have to avoid comparing yourself to them .
Just because it seems like they ’ re totally over you doesn ’ t mean that you have to feel the same way .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ time .
10 .
There is still more for you in this world .
You are still so young and have so much time ahead of you .
This agony you ’ re experiencing now will not matter someday .
You still have so much more love to give and someone else deserves to receive it .
There are many great things waiting for you out there .
You have so many more people to meet , so many more places to visit , and so many more days to live .
A @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of the world .
It ’ s not even worth regretting .
You can only learn from it .
You can be grateful it happened , and have hopes that the next relationship will be better than the last .

The process of healing from a breakup is tedious. A lot of nights are spent attempting to make sense of how it all ended. You wonder, day by day, how can two people who loved each other fall apart so quickly. You ask yourself if there’s something you could have done to save the relationship. You imagine different scenarios. You look back and analyze and find clues and meanings, only to arrive at the same conclusion that the person who once was special to you is now gone. This doesn’t make the journey of getting over them any easier. When you find it difficult to move forward in life without them, these reminders might be helpful:
1. If they truly believe in the relationship, they will fight for it.
No matter who initiated the breakup the simple fact is if they really see their future with you, they will try their best to make the relationship work. It won’t be easy to just let you go. The way people’s minds work, most of the time, is very simple – it’s either they are all in with you, or they’re not. If someone walks away from a partnership, and you don’t hear from them after quite a while, it’s probably time to move on.
2. It’s not a sign of weakness to admit that you are hurting.
Part of falling in love is sharing parts of yourself with another person. You allow them to see you from inside out. You create beautiful memories with them. Once they vanish from your life, it can feel like they left a hole that is too big to cover with a band-aid. This is the most painful part of a breakup. The idea of starting all over again on your own. It is okay to recognize that you’re scared. It is okay to admit to yourself that you are hurting. Being honest with yourself about what you’re going through will somehow make the process of healing more manageable.
3. Losing someone is not the end of the world.
Well, it can feel like it in the beginning, but in reality, life will go on. Time will not stop ticking. The sun will still show up tomorrow, and everybody will carry on with their usual day-to-day tasks. You are allowed to take as much time as you need to deal with the pain inside your chest. Give yourself space to reflect on everything that happened. But at some point, you have to go back to living your normal life. You have to learn how to live with the pain. And hope that along the way the pain will go away.
4. This is an opportunity for you to have me-time again.
When was the last time you did something or made a decision without taking someone else’s feelings or opinions into consideration? How long has it been since you actually had time for yourself? It’s nice to be with the person that you love, to be selfless, and to do things for other people. But in the process of doing so, sometimes you forget to give yourself the care and attention that you deserve. Stepping out of a relationship allows you to return to that mental space where you can enjoy solitude. You can have the opportunity to be reacquainted with yourself without the influence of other people.
5. Forgiveness might not be easy but it will surely help you move forward.
I get it. Forgiveness is heroic and reserved for people with the kindest hearts. It is not easy to give to someone who broke your heart. But a key to completely disentangling yourself from your past relationship is to absolve them of the sins they committed against you. It doesn’t have to happen overnight. It doesn’t require a deadline. But you can start forgiving them now – slowly, day by day. Being the bigger person somehow lessens the weight off of your shoulders.
6. Sometimes even the greatest relationship doesn’t last forever.
Not everything stays afloat in the sky. At some point, things come back to the ground. Sometimes they land gracefully, sometimes they crash and burn disastrously. Either way, the time spent together above didn’t last a lifetime. This can happen even to the two people you least expect to separate. Relationships are not an easy-breezy thing to manage. If someone stops trying, it’s all downhill from there. That’s why every single day, somewhere in this world, a marriage ends up in a divorce or a relationship breaks apart. Almost all of us go through this. Thinking about it doesn’t absolutely take the sting away, but it can make you feel less alone.
7. It’s possible that one day you will find someone better.
If you think about it, there is surely a match for you out there. In a world of 7 billion people, you only need to find one person. Chances are, you will come across different people over the months and years who will open your eyes to the possibility that you will meet someone better than your ex. You’ve learned your lessons. You’ve had meaningful experiences. You know yourself more. And so, when you have a strong sense of self and know exactly what you are looking for, you will attract the person who fits you.
8. You have to be okay with letting people go.
The pain of realizing your future will no longer involve them is immeasurable. It’s strange to go on in your daily routine knowing the person you’re accustomed to being around is no longer there. Some days this is going to make you feel lonely. But over time, you have to learn to be okay with it. Because part of life is learning to let people go. To let them become who they want to be without you in the picture. Some people will come into your life and leave. And when the time arrives that they have to go, you must set them free.
9. The only thing you can control at this point is your own life.
Whatever they’re doing right now is, sadly, none of your business. If they choose to date someone new, that’s their choice. And you can’t control it or have influence over it. The only thing that you can control now is how you move on. You have to find ways to reunite with yourself. You have to train yourself not to stalk them or check on them. You have to avoid comparing yourself to them. Just because it seems like they’re totally over you doesn’t mean that you have to feel the same way. You’re allowed to take your time.
10. There is still more for you in this world.
You are still so young and have so much time ahead of you. This agony you’re experiencing now will not matter someday. You still have so much more love to give and someone else deserves to receive it. There are many great things waiting for you out there. You have so many more people to meet, so many more places to visit, and so many more days to live. A failed romantic relationship is not the end of the world. It’s not even worth regretting. You can only learn from it. You can be grateful it happened, and have hopes that the next relationship will be better than the last.