thoughtcatalog--2020-11-25--21 People Share The Scariest True Story They’ve Ever Heard

“ I ’ m a crime writer and once interviewed a woman who told me an unrelated horror story about something that happened to her as a girl .
When she was like ten , she had trouble sleeping and imagined the Boogeyman was living in her closet , staring at her during the night .
Every night she would come down and tell her parents and every night her father would tell her the Boogeyman didn ’ t exist and she should go back to bed .
Well , this happened for several nights and the father got tired @ @ @ @ @ @ @ walked her back to her bedroom , turned on the light , and said , “ I ’ ll show you there ’ s no Boogeyman ” and went to open the closet door .
But something on the other side held it shut .
He sent his daughter out of the room and forced the door open to find that a man was inside .
He ’ d been sneaking into their house every night to stand in the girl ’ s closet and watch her ( and maybe more ) .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ the man and the man went to prison .
When I interviewed this woman I looked him up online .
He ’ d recently gotten out on parole and had skipped out on his weekly checks .
There was a warrant out for his arrest and nobody knew where he was anymore.
” — JamesRenner “ Short story .
My wife is from Enterprise , OR and I guess a kid in her school got beheaded on his way home .
Was literally found with his head cut off on the side of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ one knows who did it or how it happened .
Absolutely gives me chills.
” — Green_Apprentice “ When I was much younger we lived across the street from a big family .
He had a wife and 5 sons , and one night he brought his whole family into the living room and lined them up and pulled a shotgun out from under the couch and shot himself in the head .
The kids were messed up again for the rest of their lives.
” — Loganapple09 “ When I was a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ thereabouts – I was playing at the school down the street from my house .
It was the middle of summer and myself and a girlfriend were hanging around watching the boys play street hockey .
One of the boys called my name and said a man in the parking lot was looking for me .
The parking lot was mostly obscured by the building , but I could see an old 70s style van that hadn ’ t been there earlier .
I was walking over to the van when the mother @ @ @ @ @ @ @ up looking for her son and asked me what I was doing .
When I told her someone in the van was looking for me , she took my hand and started to walk with me and the van pulled out and sped away .
Friend ’ s mom walked me home and I wasn ’ t allowed out of my yard without my parents for the rest of the summer .
I was so upset and didn ’ t understand why I was being punished .
It was only years later that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ targeted by some opportunistic scumbag for who knows what .
Thanks Mrs. Gibson , wherever you are.
” — Im_vegan_btw__ “ This happened with my sister in law , when she was about 11 or 12 .
Her and her family lived in a trailer park , just down the street was her bus stop for school .
Each morning , she would see a man in his trailer taking pictures of her and her friends , it creeped her out so she went to tell her mom ( my mother in law @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and how he would just stand in the window staring at them and taking pictures .
So , her mom calls the police and report him ; the police didn ’ t do anything .
This went on for about another two weeks with no action from the police to where now my sister in law is terrified to stand and wait for the school bus and her mom had to call the police again !
This time , the police actually arrived at this perverts house and lo-and-behold , the police find @ @ @ @ @ @ @ sister in law , some of the other neighborhood little girls and some child porn .
Her and the other families watched from afar with this guy cuffed up and being escorted to the police cruiser.
” — bittercritterbug92 “ I ’ ve told this story before .
I ’ m an eye doctor and I had a patient come to me with an infected eyelid two other eye doctors tried to treat and failed .
They were dumping all sorts of medicine into it and it wasn ’ t getting any better @ @ @ @ @ @ @ swollen and painful for weeks with no improvement despite being on tons of meds .
Apparently , neither of them thought to flip the lid upside down ( you know that gross trick some kids do with their upper eyelids ? )
.
It was a painful maneuver for her very swollen eyelid , which might explain it .
Anyhow , there appeared to be what looked like a visible abscess inside the tissue with thick gooey material , I thought I ’ d give it a nudge and saw it move .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ it was something else .
I managed to remove it quite easily in one whole piece .
It was a fly larva .
The patient told me that she had a bug hit her in the eye a few days before she got this “ infection ” .
I removed the larva and within two days the wound closed and she was 100 % recovered on basic antibiotic eye drops .
Yes , I do have the photos from this case for those interested.
” — OscarDivine “ When I was in first @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , a man stopped by my school and told me “ Eliksir , your dad sent me to get you ” ( i always walked from school and if anybody would have “ gotten me ” , it would have been my mom ) so I just asked “ my dad sent you ?
.
” And he answered “ yes your dad the very specific job ” i dont know why but i started running towards my home , and lo and behold my mother was there and my parents had never @ @ @ @ @ @ @ mother called the police immediately we filled a report and my mom walked me to and from school for at least a few days after that.
” — eliksir_mtl “ My great grandpa once lined up all his children ( including my grandpa ) and his wife and told them he was going to shoot all of them .
I don ’ t know what happened but he didn ’ t end up shooting them .
He was an alcoholic and he died before I ever met him .
My grandpa has always @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fuse , but you can ’ t really blame him after hearing about his childhood.
” — Just_OneReason “ Something similar happened to me as a kid , maybe 2 or 3 .
My mom and I lived in a cheap single wide trailer in a real shitty trailer park ( single mom working 2 jobs and was going to cosmetology school after my dad left ) .
I stayed with my aunts overnight a lot because my mom would work graveyard shifts .
Anyway , she picked me up from my aunt @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and we went back to our trailer .
I remember immediately not wanting to go inside , begging to ride my bike but my exhausted mother just wanted to go to sleep so we went inside and she laid in bed .
I sat up watching Barney for a while and being the dickhead toddler that I was kept waking my mom up asking to go outside and ride my bike , which we usually kept in my room because if we left it outside it would get stolen .
I told my @ @ @ @ @ @ @ go play in my room so I asked to lay with her .
While we were laying there , for some reason I told my mom that there was someone in my closet and he wanted to hurt me ( no idea how I knew that , I don ’ t think I even went into my room that day ) .
She got up to show me no one was there and when she walked in my room the folding closet door started to open and got stuck on something .
Turns @ @ @ @ @ @ @ had skipped bail on a new trial , watched my mom ’ s comings and goings for a few days , and broke into our house while she was at work .
He took my bike in the closet with him hoping I would come looking for it when we got home and the only thing that kept him from jumping out of the closet to attack my mom when she walked in there was the spokes on my bike getting stuck on the little metal tabs at the bottom of those folding @ @ @ @ @ @ @ we ran like hell out of the house and got in the car and drove away .
Unfortunately the guy got out of the house before the cops showed up.
” — skcroz91 There ’ s something in the water “ I used to love swimming , I ’ d go snorkeling , scuba diving , even jumped off a few cliffs into the water .
When I was about 18 I read the necrnomicon ( the collection of Lovecraft short stories , not the real thing ) had a good scare , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be unnerved and went about my life .
Next year went to Crete on holiday , first day I jumped right into the ocean with my dad and went out deep .
Lo and behold , I feel something tickling my legs .
I dive under to see since its too deep for seaweed to reach this high and I wanted to see fish .
Tentacles .
Everywhere .
I was so shocked I lost my air and panicked hard , I started breathing in water as glowing eyes , sharp beaks and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , Dad got me to the shore and didn ’ t understand what was going on , he ’ d seen nothing but suddenly had a really grim look on his face .
Went to the doctors .
Turns out I ’ m the victim of a family curse , Schizoaffective disorder .
My dad was horrified cause since he hadn ’ t got it like his brother and mother , he thought I ’ d be safe .
They caught it early but this revelation then led to a lot of aspects @ @ @ @ @ @ @ air .
Entire people in my life became false , ideas I ’ d had were delusional , outbursts revealed to be due to mood swings .
I ’ m doing much better now , I still don ’ t go in the water.
” — Voidscale “ One day as a kid I was exploring the forests near our house with my cousin .
The forest was on a hill , but there were several craters there because of bombs that were dropped there during the world wars ( Germany ) .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ the bottom of one .
We tried to climb down , but it was kinda steep and slippery , so we didn ’ t want to risk falling .
We planned on returning later with a rope , and went home .
The next day news story was that there was a backpack found with the remains of a girl , in that forest .
A guy walking his dog found it , after the dog wouldn ’ t stop barking and going crazy at the edge of the crater , while starring @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the forests after.
” — somewhatofalegend “ A kid from a couple towns away from me lived on a farm with his girlfriend , they were in the kitchen one night , she was cooking and him and his friend were cleaning their guns at the table .
His went off and shot her killing her immediately , he then loaded up , ran outside and shot himself in the head.
” — ciggybuttbrain666 Real life is the scariest thing of all “ I had brain surgery roughly 3 years ago .
I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ felt like 4 months was only 3 days .
The amount of physical , mental , and emotional pain I went through was crazy .
I had to find all of my memories and relearn how to walk , talk , everything .
If you want to go through something terrifying that is it.
” — AkierraLFS “ One of my dad ’ s friend ’ s wife was murdered by some crazy dude walking down the street .
This guy had just been released from a mental hospital and literally just stabbed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ my dads friend came back he thought she had just taken the dogs out for a walk so he walked along the normal walk route and he saw loads of blue lights .
He was stopped by a police officer and wasnt allowed any closer until he saw that it was his wife.
” — Nick_Pears “ When I was young , I saw a documentary about a guy who got flesh eating bacteria in his nasal cavity .
It ate his face and he ’ s still alive .
Eventually they removed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of his face .
He got a prosthetic face , which back in those days was basically a plastic Halloween mask that tried to look human .
At the end of the documentary , he took the mask off .
His face from his forehead down to his mouth was just a hole.
” — huggalump “ Walking my dog and crossing the street with a green light and a guy blows throw the red light and almost hits me and the dog .
I yell “ ASSHOLE ” and he slams on @ @ @ @ @ @ @ into parking lot ahead of me .
I get closer and see the car has Illinois plates ( I live in PA ) he says “ careful who call asshole I ’ ve killed people ” I just keep walking and he drives away .
The next day I hear spree killer Andrew Cunanan used a stolen credit card at a gas station in my town .
100 % was him I called a asshole.
” — Whitealroker1 “ My mom was stalked by a guy in her chemistry class .
This was @ @ @ @ @ @ @ her first semester at college .
They were lab partners , and Mom thought he seemed cute and nice , and was too shy at the time to ask him out , but she said if he ’ d asked her out , she would ’ ve went .
They were friendly with each other in class , but their paths didn ’ t cross outside of that since they were in different majors .
As the semester wore on , however , she noticed he was often waiting for her outside of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the student union , out in front where her dad picked her up and dropped her off .
This continued into the spring semester .
Puzzled , but not yet alarmed , she asked him how he always seemed to know where she was .
He proudly said , “ Oh , I asked the registrar ’ s office for a copy of your schedule !
” My mom went to complain to the secretary who gave out her schedule , and the secretary blew it off because “ you guys are dating @ @ @ @ @ @ @ arranged to transfer to a different school for sophomore year , and spent the remaining time left avoiding him .
She never saw him after that .
But it wasn ’ t over .
Flash forward to grad school .
Mom was at work , and Grandma gets a knock on the door .
Since the man at the door was in a naval uniform , and my grandmother was a Navy nurse , she let the man in , because he looked rather sad .
He starts off by saying how sorry @ @ @ @ @ @ @ loss , which completely mystified Grandma .
“ Well , ma ’ am , I just got back from overseas , and I found out my friend recently killed himself .
He spoke so highly of his fiancée , your daughter , and I wanted to meet her.
” My grandmother told him her daughter didn ’ t even have a boyfriend at the moment , let alone a fiancé .
It doesn ’ t take too long to establish the man ’ s deceased friend in question was in fact Mom ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ pretty upset , and my grandmother even more so .
She made him leave before Mom got home .
The weird thing about the stalker ’ s death is that it was ruled a suicide , but he hanged himself from a very high up tree branch you ’ d need a ladder to get to , and his hands were tied behind his back .
From what my mother later learned , he had a tendency to snoop and generally stick his nose in places they didn ’ t belong besides the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t win him too many friends , so it ’ s anyone ’ s guess who he might have pissed off .
My mom always concludes this story kind of nonchalantly , like , “ Yeah , back in those days , they didn ’ t really know much about stalking .
They ’ ve gotten a little better in terms of awareness now.
” It gives me the creeps to think what could have happened if he escalated his attempts to follow her after she left that school.
” — harperpitt011 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s “ son tragically killed himself.
” He had something wrong with him and raped at least one woman and there were several little girls that had horrible things done to them .
All the official causes of death were suicide .
My mom actually told me the truth , that our grandma killed him because he was a monster .
Everyone knew but because of what he did and was nobody batted an eye .
It was a different world.
” — JCtheWanderingCrow “ There was a man who got out @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on the highway and attempted to walk across the highway to the other side late at night .
He was hit by a car and his body was driven over so many times that by the time the sun came up his body parts were scattered across 300m of highway.
” — Kalaghni “ When I worked in healthcare I had a patient who got a sinus infection .
He stopped taking his antibiotics after a few days because he felt better .
His sinus infection came back with a vengeance .
When @ @ @ @ @ @ @ was presenting with stroke symptoms .
The infection had spread to his cranial cavity .
There was so much pus that it was twisting his brain .
No one thought he would survive the surgery .
The family was advised to expect the worst .
Amazingly he actually survived .
He ended up needing 3 more surgeries to wash out and spent almost 2 months in the hospital .
Take your full dose of antibiotics , people !
” — slappy_mcslapenstein “ One of our employees fell into the “ Hammer box ” @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ultra high torque rotating “ hammers ” used to grind up large appliances into scrap metal .
It apparently turned 3 times before the emergency shutoff was hit pulling in half the employees body at a diagonal running from the middle of his pelvis to his shoulder .
The gruesome part was that he was still alive , as the pressure from the hammers was holding the enormous wound shut .
Took 30 minutes for EMT ’ s to arrive while he screamed for them to simply turn the machine back on and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ make it.
” — Mandorism

Man in the closet
“I’m a crime writer and once interviewed a woman who told me an unrelated horror story about something that happened to her as a girl.
When she was like ten, she had trouble sleeping and imagined the Boogeyman was living in her closet, staring at her during the night. Every night she would come down and tell her parents and every night her father would tell her the Boogeyman didn’t exist and she should go back to bed.
Well, this happened for several nights and the father got tired of it. So that night he walked her back to her bedroom, turned on the light, and said, “I’ll show you there’s no Boogeyman” and went to open the closet door. But something on the other side held it shut. He sent his daughter out of the room and forced the door open to find that a man was inside. He’d been sneaking into their house every night to stand in the girl’s closet and watch her (and maybe more).
He beat the ever-loving shit out of the man and the man went to prison. When I interviewed this woman I looked him up online. He’d recently gotten out on parole and had skipped out on his weekly checks. There was a warrant out for his arrest and nobody knew where he was anymore.” — JamesRenner
A beheading in America
“Short story. My wife is from Enterprise, OR and I guess a kid in her school got beheaded on his way home. Was literally found with his head cut off on the side of the street and to this day no one knows who did it or how it happened. Absolutely gives me chills.” — Green_Apprentice
Suicide
“When I was much younger we lived across the street from a big family. He had a wife and 5 sons, and one night he brought his whole family into the living room and lined them up and pulled a shotgun out from under the couch and shot himself in the head. The kids were messed up again for the rest of their lives.” — Loganapple09
Man in a van
“When I was a little girl – 9 years old or thereabouts – I was playing at the school down the street from my house. It was the middle of summer and myself and a girlfriend were hanging around watching the boys play street hockey.
One of the boys called my name and said a man in the parking lot was looking for me. The parking lot was mostly obscured by the building, but I could see an old 70s style van that hadn’t been there earlier.
I was walking over to the van when the mother of one of the other kids showed up looking for her son and asked me what I was doing. When I told her someone in the van was looking for me, she took my hand and started to walk with me and the van pulled out and sped away.
Friend’s mom walked me home and I wasn’t allowed out of my yard without my parents for the rest of the summer. I was so upset and didn’t understand why I was being punished.
It was only years later that I understood that I was likely being targeted by some opportunistic scumbag for who knows what.
Thanks Mrs. Gibson, wherever you are.” — Im_vegan_btw__
Creepy man taking photos
“This happened with my sister in law, when she was about 11 or 12. Her and her family lived in a trailer park, just down the street was her bus stop for school. Each morning, she would see a man in his trailer taking pictures of her and her friends, it creeped her out so she went to tell her mom (my mother in law) of what this guy was doing and how he would just stand in the window staring at them and taking pictures. So, her mom calls the police and report him; the police didn’t do anything. This went on for about another two weeks with no action from the police to where now my sister in law is terrified to stand and wait for the school bus and her mom had to call the police again! This time, the police actually arrived at this perverts house and lo-and-behold, the police find a wall covered in pictures of my sister in law, some of the other neighborhood little girls and some child porn. Her and the other families watched from afar with this guy cuffed up and being escorted to the police cruiser.” — bittercritterbug92
WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR LIFE
“I’ve told this story before. I’m an eye doctor and I had a patient come to me with an infected eyelid two other eye doctors tried to treat and failed. They were dumping all sorts of medicine into it and it wasn’t getting any better. At this point, it was swollen and painful for weeks with no improvement despite being on tons of meds. Apparently, neither of them thought to flip the lid upside down (you know that gross trick some kids do with their upper eyelids?). It was a painful maneuver for her very swollen eyelid, which might explain it. Anyhow, there appeared to be what looked like a visible abscess inside the tissue with thick gooey material, I thought I’d give it a nudge and saw it move. This wasn’t an abscess, it was something else. I managed to remove it quite easily in one whole piece. It was a fly larva. The patient told me that she had a bug hit her in the eye a few days before she got this “infection”. I removed the larva and within two days the wound closed and she was 100% recovered on basic antibiotic eye drops. Yes, I do have the photos from this case for those interested.” — OscarDivine
He knew everything
“When I was in first grade, about 7or 8 years old, a man stopped by my school and told me “Eliksir, your dad sent me to get you” (i always walked from school and if anybody would have “gotten me”, it would have been my mom) so I just asked “my dad sent you?.” And he answered “yes your dad the very specific job” i dont know why but i started running towards my home, and lo and behold my mother was there and my parents had never sent anyone to get me. My mother called the police immediately we filled a report and my mom walked me to and from school for at least a few days after that.” — eliksir_mtl
Child abuse
“My great grandpa once lined up all his children (including my grandpa) and his wife and told them he was going to shoot all of them. I don’t know what happened but he didn’t end up shooting them. He was an alcoholic and he died before I ever met him. My grandpa has always been a gruff man with a short fuse, but you can’t really blame him after hearing about his childhood.” — Just_OneReason
Molester in the closet
“Something similar happened to me as a kid, maybe 2 or 3. My mom and I lived in a cheap single wide trailer in a real shitty trailer park (single mom working 2 jobs and was going to cosmetology school after my dad left). I stayed with my aunts overnight a lot because my mom would work graveyard shifts.
Anyway, she picked me up from my aunt’s house around 7am one day and we went back to our trailer. I remember immediately not wanting to go inside, begging to ride my bike but my exhausted mother just wanted to go to sleep so we went inside and she laid in bed.
I sat up watching Barney for a while and being the dickhead toddler that I was kept waking my mom up asking to go outside and ride my bike, which we usually kept in my room because if we left it outside it would get stolen. I told my mom I didn’t want to go play in my room so I asked to lay with her.
While we were laying there, for some reason I told my mom that there was someone in my closet and he wanted to hurt me (no idea how I knew that, I don’t think I even went into my room that day). She got up to show me no one was there and when she walked in my room the folding closet door started to open and got stuck on something.
Turns out, a previously convicted child molester had skipped bail on a new trial, watched my mom’s comings and goings for a few days, and broke into our house while she was at work. He took my bike in the closet with him hoping I would come looking for it when we got home and the only thing that kept him from jumping out of the closet to attack my mom when she walked in there was the spokes on my bike getting stuck on the little metal tabs at the bottom of those folding closet doors. Needless to say, we ran like hell out of the house and got in the car and drove away. Unfortunately the guy got out of the house before the cops showed up.” — skcroz91
There’s something in the water
“I used to love swimming, I’d go snorkeling, scuba diving, even jumped off a few cliffs into the water.
When I was about 18 I read the necrnomicon (the collection of Lovecraft short stories, not the real thing) had a good scare, giggled at how silly I was to be unnerved and went about my life.
Next year went to Crete on holiday, first day I jumped right into the ocean with my dad and went out deep. Lo and behold, I feel something tickling my legs. I dive under to see since its too deep for seaweed to reach this high and I wanted to see fish.
Tentacles. Everywhere. I was so shocked I lost my air and panicked hard, I started breathing in water as glowing eyes, sharp beaks and suckered tentacles flashed about me.
Thankfully, Dad got me to the shore and didn’t understand what was going on, he’d seen nothing but suddenly had a really grim look on his face.
Went to the doctors. Turns out I’m the victim of a family curse, Schizoaffective disorder. My dad was horrified cause since he hadn’t got it like his brother and mother, he thought I’d be safe.
They caught it early but this revelation then led to a lot of aspects of my life being thrown in the air. Entire people in my life became false, ideas I’d had were delusional, outbursts revealed to be due to mood swings.
I’m doing much better now, I still don’t go in the water.” — Voidscale
A backpack
“One day as a kid I was exploring the forests near our house with my cousin. The forest was on a hill, but there were several craters there because of bombs that were dropped there during the world wars (Germany). One day we saw a backpack at the bottom of one. We tried to climb down, but it was kinda steep and slippery, so we didn’t want to risk falling. We planned on returning later with a rope, and went home. The next day news story was that there was a backpack found with the remains of a girl, in that forest. A guy walking his dog found it, after the dog wouldn’t stop barking and going crazy at the edge of the crater, while starring at the backpack. We stopped exploring the forests after.” — somewhatofalegend
Murder suicide
“A kid from a couple towns away from me lived on a farm with his girlfriend, they were in the kitchen one night, she was cooking and him and his friend were cleaning their guns at the table. His went off and shot her killing her immediately, he then loaded up, ran outside and shot himself in the head.” — ciggybuttbrain666
Real life is the scariest thing of all
“I had brain surgery roughly 3 years ago. I lost my concept of time. What felt like 4 months was only 3 days. The amount of physical, mental, and emotional pain I went through was crazy. I had to find all of my memories and relearn how to walk, talk, everything. If you want to go through something terrifying that is it.” — AkierraLFS
Totally random
“One of my dad’s friend’s wife was murdered by some crazy dude walking down the street. This guy had just been released from a mental hospital and literally just stabbed her as she walked home. When my dads friend came back he thought she had just taken the dogs out for a walk so he walked along the normal walk route and he saw loads of blue lights. He was stopped by a police officer and wasnt allowed any closer until he saw that it was his wife.” — Nick_Pears
Flesh-eating bacteria
“When I was young, I saw a documentary about a guy who got flesh eating bacteria in his nasal cavity. It ate his face and he’s still alive. Eventually they removed the bacteria by removing the eaten parts of his face. He got a prosthetic face, which back in those days was basically a plastic Halloween mask that tried to look human. At the end of the documentary, he took the mask off. His face from his forehead down to his mouth was just a hole.” — huggalump
Andrew Cunanan encounter
“Walking my dog and crossing the street with a green light and a guy blows throw the red light and almost hits me and the dog. I yell “ASSHOLE” and he slams on his breaks and turns around and pulls into parking lot ahead of me.
I get closer and see the car has Illinois plates( I live in PA) he says “careful who call asshole I’ve killed people” I just keep walking and he drives away.
The next day I hear spree killer Andrew Cunanan used a stolen credit card at a gas station in my town. 100% was him I called a asshole.” — Whitealroker1
Chemistry creep
“My mom was stalked by a guy in her chemistry class. This was back in the late seventies, during her first semester at college. They were lab partners, and Mom thought he seemed cute and nice, and was too shy at the time to ask him out, but she said if he’d asked her out, she would’ve went. They were friendly with each other in class, but their paths didn’t cross outside of that since they were in different majors.
As the semester wore on, however, she noticed he was often waiting for her outside of her other classes, the library, the student union, out in front where her dad picked her up and dropped her off. This continued into the spring semester. Puzzled, but not yet alarmed, she asked him how he always seemed to know where she was. He proudly said, “Oh, I asked the registrar’s office for a copy of your schedule!”
My mom went to complain to the secretary who gave out her schedule, and the secretary blew it off because “you guys are dating”. Luckily, Mom had already arranged to transfer to a different school for sophomore year, and spent the remaining time left avoiding him. She never saw him after that. But it wasn’t over.
Flash forward to grad school. Mom was at work, and Grandma gets a knock on the door. Since the man at the door was in a naval uniform, and my grandmother was a Navy nurse, she let the man in, because he looked rather sad. He starts off by saying how sorry he is for my mother’s loss, which completely mystified Grandma.
“Well, ma’am, I just got back from overseas, and I found out my friend recently killed himself. He spoke so highly of his fiancée, your daughter, and I wanted to meet her.”
My grandmother told him her daughter didn’t even have a boyfriend at the moment, let alone a fiancé. It doesn’t take too long to establish the man’s deceased friend in question was in fact Mom’s stalker. The Naval Lieutenant was pretty upset, and my grandmother even more so. She made him leave before Mom got home.
The weird thing about the stalker’s death is that it was ruled a suicide, but he hanged himself from a very high up tree branch you’d need a ladder to get to, and his hands were tied behind his back. From what my mother later learned, he had a tendency to snoop and generally stick his nose in places they didn’t belong besides the obvious stalking thing, and this didn’t win him too many friends, so it’s anyone’s guess who he might have pissed off. My mom always concludes this story kind of nonchalantly, like, “Yeah, back in those days, they didn’t really know much about stalking. They’ve gotten a little better in terms of awareness now.” It gives me the creeps to think what could have happened if he escalated his attempts to follow her after she left that school.” — harperpitt011
“He was a monster”
“Have a great x grandma who’s “son tragically killed himself.” He had something wrong with him and raped at least one woman and there were several little girls that had horrible things done to them. All the official causes of death were suicide. My mom actually told me the truth, that our grandma killed him because he was a monster. Everyone knew but because of what he did and was nobody batted an eye. It was a different world.” — JCtheWanderingCrow
Road kill
“There was a man who got out of his car after it broke down on the highway and attempted to walk across the highway to the other side late at night. He was hit by a car and his body was driven over so many times that by the time the sun came up his body parts were scattered across 300m of highway.” — Kalaghni
Infection
“When I worked in healthcare I had a patient who got a sinus infection. He stopped taking his antibiotics after a few days because he felt better. His sinus infection came back with a vengeance. When he got to the Emergency Department he was presenting with stroke symptoms. The infection had spread to his cranial cavity. There was so much pus that it was twisting his brain. No one thought he would survive the surgery. The family was advised to expect the worst. Amazingly he actually survived. He ended up needing 3 more surgeries to wash out and spent almost 2 months in the hospital. Take your full dose of antibiotics, people!” — slappy_mcslapenstein
Hammer box
“One of our employees fell into the “Hammer box”. This is a device filled with ultra high torque rotating “hammers” used to grind up large appliances into scrap metal. It apparently turned 3 times before the emergency shutoff was hit pulling in half the employees body at a diagonal running from the middle of his pelvis to his shoulder. The gruesome part was that he was still alive, as the pressure from the hammers was holding the enormous wound shut. Took 30 minutes for EMT’s to arrive while he screamed for them to simply turn the machine back on and end it. He didn’t make it.” — Mandorism


thoughtcatalog--2020-11-24--Why Each Zodiac Sign Has Been Single Longer Than They Like

You assume the worst from everyone and think they hate you , even when they ’ ve been nothing but nice to you .
You don ’ t even know where to start looking for someone because you ’ re super uncomfortable on dating apps and in bars .
You have absolutely no idea how to show your interest without being creepy or coming on too strong .
You hate initiating conversations because you never know what to say or how long to keep a conversation going .
You ’ re scared to show interest in anyone because you don @ @ @ @ @ @ @ get rejected .
You ’ re scared to get attached so you find flaws in everyone who shows interest in you .
You read too much into every little thing a person says and assume they ’ re rejecting you before it actually happens .
You assume other people aren ’ t interested , so you don ’ t even hint at your interest in them .
You assume everyone is out of your league and never shoot your shot .
You don ’ t know what you want or what you ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ staying alone .
You have grown too comfortable with the single life , so you ’ ve stopped thinking of other people as potential partners .
You only get to know others over text but never actually take the next step and meet up in person .

Aries
You assume the worst from everyone and think they hate you, even when they’ve been nothing but nice to you.
Taurus
You don’t even know where to start looking for someone because you’re super uncomfortable on dating apps and in bars.
Gemini
You have absolutely no idea how to show your interest without being creepy or coming on too strong.
Cancer
You hate initiating conversations because you never know what to say or how long to keep a conversation going.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
Leo
You’re scared to show interest in anyone because you don’t want to embarrass yourself and get rejected.
Virgo
You’re scared to get attached so you find flaws in everyone who shows interest in you.
Libra
You read too much into every little thing a person says and assume they’re rejecting you before it actually happens.
Scorpio
You assume other people aren’t interested, so you don’t even hint at your interest in them.
Sagittarius
You assume everyone is out of your league and never shoot your shot.
Capricorn
You don’t know what you want or what you’re looking for so you settle for staying alone.
Aquarius
You have grown too comfortable with the single life, so you’ve stopped thinking of other people as potential partners.
Pisces
You only get to know others over text but never actually take the next step and meet up in person.


thoughtcatalog--2020-11-24--280+ Thanksgiving Quotes and Thanksgiving Messages to Send to Friends & Family

Thanksgiving is a special time of year when you ’ re meant to remind your family and friends how much they mean to you .
Of course , you might not always be able to see each other in person on the holidays .
Whether you ’ re spending the day apart or are going to be sitting at the dinner table together soon , you should send them a message to show them you ’ re thinking of them .
You can send a thoughtful Thanksgiving card through the mail or you can send sending a short text on @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you shouldn ’ t forget to give your loved ones a special Thanksgiving greeting .
Here are a few of the best examples of a happy Thanksgiving quote to send your friends and family during the Thanksgiving holiday : 2 .
“ A great meal is an experience that nourishes more than your body.
” — Ruth Reichl 3 .
“ Gratitude is the closest thing to beauty manifested in an emotion.
” — Mindy Kalin 4 .
“ Gratitude is looking on the brighter side of life , even if it means @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 5 .
“ I started out giving thanks for small things , and the more thankful I became , the more my bounty increased.
” — Oprah Winfrey 6 .
“ When I started counting my blessings , my whole life turned around.
” — Willie Nelson 7 .
“ You oughta be thankful , a whole heaping lot , for the places and people you ’ re lucky you ’ re not !
” — Dr. Seuess 8 .
“ I ’ m so thankful for friendship .
It beautifies life so @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
“ Knowing it can always get worse , I try to be grateful for whatever good I have.
” — Elizabeth Smart 10 .
“ Thanksgiving , to be truly Thanksgiving , is first thanks , then giving.
” — Jacob M. Braude 11 .
“ Thanksgiving just gets me all warm and tingly and all kinds of wonderful inside.
” — Willard Scott 12 .
“ The greatest gift one can give is thanksgiving .
In giving gifts , we give what we can spare , but in giving thanks we @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
“ Take another look at your life .
Give thanks .
Accept your circumstances .
Give thanks .
Count your blessings .
Give thanks.
” — Sarah Ban Breathnach 14 .
“ The Universe loves a grateful person .
The more you thank Life , the more Life will give you to be thankful for.
” — Louise Hay 15 .
“ If you have enough breath to complain about anything , you have more than enough reason to give thanks about something.
” — Mattie Stepanek 16 .
“ The grateful @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Therefore it tends to become the best .
It takes the form or character of the best , and will receive the best.
” — Wallace Wattles 17 .
“ The real gift of gratitude is that the more grateful you are , the more present you become.
” — Robert Holden 18 .
“ I am grateful for all my victories , but I am especially grateful for my losses , because they only made me work harder.
” — Muhammad Ali 19 .
“ The more grateful we feel , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ grateful for .
The more loved we feel , the more love we receive .
The more beautiful we feel , the more attractive we become.
” — Denise Coates 20 .
“ Counting your blessings increases them .
People who take the time to focus on the things they are grateful for are happier and healthier.
” — Sheryl Sandberg Thanksgiving jokes that will make your family laugh aloud : 21 .
What do you call a running turkey ?
Fast food .
22 .
Why did the turkey cross the road @ @ @ @ @ @ @ he wanted people to think he was a chicken !
23 .
What animal has the worst eating habits ?
The turkey , because it gobbles everything up !
24 .
Why do turkeys eat so little ?
Because they are always stuffed .
25 .
What part of the turkey do musicians love the most ?
The drumsticks .
26 .
Why do pilgrims ’ pants always fall down ?
Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats !
27 .
Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
29 .
What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to at the first Thanksgiving feast ?
Plymouth Rock !
30 .
If pilgrims were alive today , what would they be known for ?
Their age .
31 .
What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving ?
Lucky .
32 .
What ’ s the best song to sing when preparing your turkey ?
All About That Baste .
35 .
What does Thanksgiving have in common with Halloween ?
Gobble-ins !
36 .
If April showers @ @ @ @ @ @ @ flowers bring ?
Pilgrims !
37 .
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost ?
A poultry-geist !
38 .
Why did the turkey cross the road twice ?
To prove he wasn ’ t chicken .
39 .
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one ?
Goblet .
40 .
My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes… but I told them I couldn ’ t quit cold turkey .
41 .
“ Focusing on one thing that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of gratitude and rises the joy inside yourself.
” — Oprah Winfrey 42 .
“ Gratitude paints little smiley faces on everything it touches.
” — Richelle E. Goodrich 43 .
“ The most thankful person is the most fully human.
” — Thomas Goodwin 44 .
“ Thankfulness is the quickest path to joy.
” — Jefferson Bethke 45 .
“ As we express our gratitude , we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words , but to live by them.
” — John F. Kennedy 46 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ which every man has many—not on your past misfortunes , of which all men have some.
” — Charles Dickens 47 .
“ Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude .
Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness .
Thankfulness may consist merely of words .
Gratitude is shown in acts.
” — David O. McKay 48 .
“ Thanksgiving is the holiday that encompasses all others .
All of them , from Martin Luther King Day to Arbor Day to Christmas to Valentine ’ s Day , are in one way or another about @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 49 .
“ Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.
” — Eckhart Tolle 50 .
“ Now is no time to think of what you do not have .
Think of what you can do with what there is.
” — Ernest Hemingway 51 .
“ Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received .
Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling.
” — Henry van Dyke 52 .
“ Gratitude opens the door , the power , the wisdom , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ open the door through gratitude.
” — Deepak Chopra 53 .
“ I am thankful for small mercies .
I compared notes with one of my friends who expect everything of the universe , and is disappointed when anything is less than the best , and I found that I begin at the other extreme , expecting nothing , and am always full of thanks for moderate good.
” — Ralph Waldo Emerson 54 .
“ Gratitude makes sense of our past , brings peace for today , and creates a vision for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ “ Some people grumble that roses have thorns ; I am grateful that thorns have roses.
” — Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr 57 .
“ I ’ m most thankful for , that in spite of the fact that things look dark a lot of the time , there is an increasing number of conversations about loving each other and including each other and finding ways to do that.
” — Bellamy Young 58 .
“ When times are bad , having each other , having your health , we can do with a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ an important lesson I want my kids to understand as they get out there in the world .
Be grateful for what you have and be ready to share it when the time comes.
” — Michelle Obama 59 .
“ In the end , though , maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives .
In the end , maybe it ’ s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ as we have voices.
” — Elizabeth Gilbert 60 .
“ Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer .
And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.
” — Maya Angelou Simple Thanksgiving quotes to send anyone in your life : 61 .
“ Thanksgiving is the meal we aspire for other meals to resemble.
” — Jonathan Safran Foer 62 .
“ Give thanks for a little , and you will find a lot.
” — Hausa Proverb 63 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be shut up in a single day.
” — Robert Caspar Lintner 64 .
“ He who thanks but with the lips thanks but in part ; the full , the true Thanksgiving comes from the heart.
” — J.A .
Shedd 65 .
“ Give thanks not just on Thanksgiving Day , but every day of your life .
Appreciate and never take for granted all that you have.
” — Catherine Pulsifer 66 .
“ What I love about Thanksgiving is that it ’ s purely about getting together with friends @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s really for everybody , and it doesn ’ t matter where you ’ re from.
” — Daniel Humm 67 .
“ No one has ever become poor by giving.
” — Anne Frank 68 .
“ Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year because it reminds us to give thanks and to count our blessings .
Suddenly , so many things become so little when we realize how blessed and lucky we are.
” — Joyce Giraud 69 .
“ Thanksgiving is a joyous invitation to shower @ @ @ @ @ @ @ — Amy Leigh Mercree 70 .
“ Forever on Thanksgiving the heart will find the pathway home.
” — Wilbur D. Nesbit 71 .
“ What if today , we were just grateful for everything ?
” — Charlie Brown 72 .
“ Be thankful for what you have .
Your life is someone else ’ s fairy tale.
” — Wale Ayeni 73 .
“ I am grateful for what I am and have .
My thanksgiving is perpetual.
” — Henry David Thoreau 74 .
“ Be thankful for what you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ having more.
” — Oprah Winfrey 75 .
“ Thanksgiving day is a jewel , to set in the hearts of honest men ; but be careful that you do not take the day , and leave out the gratitude.
” — E.P .
Powell 76 .
“ Thanksgiving isn ’ t just a day .
It ’ s a way we can live our lives every day.
” — Katrina Mayer 77 .
“ If a fellow isn ’ t thankful for what he ’ s got , he isn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s going to get.
” — Frank A. Clark 78 .
“ Thanks are the highest form of thought , and gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.
” — G.K. Chesterton 79 .
“ I love Thanksgiving because it ’ s a holiday that is centered around food and family.
” — Marcus Samuelsson 80 .
“ If you are really thankful , what do you do ?
You share.
” — W. Clement Stone 81 .
“ If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Meister Eckhart 82 .
“ Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues , but the parent of all the others.
” — Marcus Tullius Cicero 83 .
“ There are only two ways to live your life .
One is as though nothing is a miracle .
The other as is though everything is a miracle.
” — Albert Einstein 84 .
“ Careful for nothing , prayerful for everything , thankful for anything.
” – Dwight L. Moody 85 .
“ Give thanks to the Lord , for he is good @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Psalm 136:1 86 .
“ Living in a state of gratitude is the gateway to grace.
” — Arianna Huffington 87 .
“ Sharing in God ’ s blessings is at the heart of Thanksgiving and at the core of the American spirit.
” — Bill Clinton 88 .
“ No matter how choppy the seas become , a believer ’ s heart is buoyed by constant praise and gratefulness to the Lord.
” — John MacArthur 89 .
“ Even when life may be difficult , we should thank God for all @ @ @ @ @ @ @ not deserve.
” — Billy Graham 90 .
“ Once you feel grateful , you are in an energy that can create miracles.
” — Joe Vitale 91 .
“ The Christian who walks with the Lord and keeps constant communion with Him will see many reasons for rejoicing and thanksgiving all day long.
” — Warren W. Wiersbe 92 .
“ Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy .
They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
” — Marcel Proust 93 .
“ The unthankful @ @ @ @ @ @ @ thankful heart will find , in every hour , some heavenly blessings.
” — Henry Ward Beecher 94 .
“ All across America , we gather this week with the people we love to give thanks to God for the blessings in our lives.
” — George W. Bush 95 .
“ O Lord that lends me life , Lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.
” — William Shakespeare 96 .
“ No people on earth have more cause to be thankful than ours , and this is said reverently , in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ strength , but with the gratitude to the Giver of good who has blessed us.
” — Theodore Roosevelt 97 .
“ Remember God ’ s bounty in the year .
String the pearls of His favor .
Hide the dark parts , except so far as they are breaking out in light !
Give this one day to thanks , to joy , to gratitude !
” — Henry Ward Beecher 98 .
“ We would worry less if we praised more .
Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction.
” @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Thanksgiving is a season that is very much in accord with the themes and teachings of Jesus Christ.
” — John Clayton 100 .
“ We should certainly count our blessings , but we should also make our blessings count.
” — Neal A. Maxwell The best thanksgiving message for your boyfriend or girlfriend : 101 .
Happy Thanksgiving , baby !
Don ’ t eat any pumpkin pie without me .
102 .
It ’ s a blessing to spend this Thanksgiving with you .
I love you so much .
103 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ thankful heart on this beautiful Thanksgiving Day .
104 .
Gathering with our loved ones is always nice — but all I need is you .
105 .
I ’ m so thankful to have you in my life .
I love you to the moon and back .
106 .
I love the holiday season because it means more time to spend with you .
107 .
Happy Thanksgiving day !
The turkey is waiting and I am , too .
108 .
I want to start a new Thanksgiving tradition with @ @ @ @ @ @ @ now .
109 .
Today , I want to show my appreciation for you .
I ’ m so thankful for everything you do for me .
110 .
I know we ’ re going to have a wonderful Thanksgiving together .
Every day spent with you is perfect .
111 .
It ’ s a good thing you ’ re dating me because I make the best sweet potatoes and pie .
112 .
This is going to be such a memorable Thanksgiving .
We ’ re never going to forget this @ @ @ @ @ @ @ putting on my comfy pants because I ’ m ready for a Thanksgiving celebration !
114 .
Thanksgiving is the perfect day to tell you how much happiness you ’ ve brought into my life .
115 .
I ’ m so blessed to be celebrating this Thanksgiving season alongside my true love .
116 .
I can ’ t wait to cook a Thanksgiving meal with you !
It ’ s going to taste great .
117 .
This is the first of many happy Thanksgivings together .
118 .
On this @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you .
119 .
Thanksgiving is even better when I ’ m sitting beside you .
120 .
Happy Thanksgiving , darling !
I love you even more than pumpkin pie !
Thanksgiving wishes for your mother and father : 123 .
The great thing about Thanksgiving is that I get to spend it with you two .
124 .
I don ’ t say this enough but I love you and am so thankful for you .
126 .
Today is a good day to see the family .
127 .
My @ @ @ @ @ @ @ all be happy and healthy this coming year .
128 .
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving !
Enjoy every bite of food you take without worrying about your weight .
129 .
Have a great Thanksgiving !
Eat enough turkey for the both of us .
131 .
I ’ m ready to stuff myself with sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce .
132 .
I ’ m sending you warm wishes on this special day .
I miss you !
133 .
Have a cheerful Thanksgiving .
Focus on the good in your lives @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I love you !
You bring me so much joy and comfort .
I can not thank you enough for that , mom and dad .
135 .
Thanksgiving holds so many wonderful memories for me — and it ’ s all because of you .
136 .
I love you — especially when you cook me a warm turkey dinner .
137 .
Thank you for always making the Thanksgiving holiday feel so special .
138 .
I ’ m so thankful for you .
I appreciate everything you do .
139 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ tonight .
I miss sitting around the dinner table with you .
140 .
The Thanksgiving holiday is my favorite because it ’ s filled with good food and good people .
141 .
Happy turkey day !
I just wanted to remind you how much you mean to me !
143 .
To my dear friend on this beautiful Thanksgiving Day .
May you have the meal of a lifetime !
144 .
Wonderful things are coming your way in this coming year .
I can feel it .
145 .
I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your family members get along !
146 .
Turkey isn ’ t the best part of Thanksgiving .
The alcohol is !
147 .
Happy turkey day !
Don ’ t forget to gobble up some homemade food .
148 .
Happy Thanksgiving !
I just wanted to send you my warm appreciation .
149 .
I hope this is your best Thanksgiving yet .
I miss you , buddy .
150 .
You ’ ve always been like family to me .
Happy Thanksgiving .
151 .
I ’ m so thankful @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
I love you , pal .
152 .
I ’ m wishing you a happy Thanksgiving .
I hope you have the time of your life .
153 .
I love you more than I love most of my family .
I wish I was spending the day with you .
154 .
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving day !
Make the most of every second .
155 .
I ’ m beyond thankful to have a friend like you in my life .
156 .
I ’ m saving you some turkey @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , man .
157 .
You ’ re my best friend .
I ’ m thankful for you today and every other day .
158 .
Remember , you ’ re allowed to spoil yourself today .
Eat whatever you want without feeling guilty !
159 .
I can ’ t thank you enough for always being there for me .
It means a lot , dear friend .
160 .
I ’ m so thankful you ’ re in my life — even though you get on my nerves sometimes .
161 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ can not be with family this Thanksgiving , please resist the urge to brag.
” — Andy Borowitz 162 .
“ I ’ m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family.
” — Damien Fahey 163 .
“ I can ’ t cook a Thanksgiving dinner .
All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.
” — Charlie Brown 164 .
“ After a good dinner one can forgive anybody , even one ’ s own relations.
” — Oscar Wilde 165 .
“ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
This is what we ’ ve been training for our whole lives .
This is our destiny , this is our finest hour.
” — Lorelai Gilmore 166 .
“ Good mashed potato is one of the great luxuries of life.
” — Lindsey Bareham 167 .
“ If there ’ s one thing I ’ ve learned over the eons , it ’ s that you can ’ t give up on your family , no matter how tempting they make it.
” — Rick Riordan 168 .
“ Thanksgiving , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be my pants.
” — Kevin James 169 .
“ Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings , one by one , as each relative goes home.
” — Melanie White 170 .
“ It wouldn ’ t be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring.
” — Friends 171 .
“ Overeating at Thanksgiving is a case in point .
It ’ s a national tradition.
” — Eric Samuel Timm 172 .
“ An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.
” — Irv Kupcinet 173 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 80 % of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner .
Which makes sense , when you hear they consider saying ‘ that smells good ’ to be helping.
” — Jimmy Fallon 174 .
“ I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it.
” — Robert Brault 175 .
“ Thanksgiving is America ’ s national chow-down feast , the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.
” — Michael Dresser 176 .
“ Thanksgiving .
It ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to come up with a tradition .
The tradition is , we overeat .
‘ Hey , how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot ?
’ ‘ But we do that every day !
’ ‘ Oh .
What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us ? '
” — Jim Gaffigan 177 .
“ I like football .
I find it ’ s an exciting strategic game .
It ’ s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.
” @ @ @ @ @ @ @ are a must on a diet .
I suggest carrot cake , zucchini bread , and pumpkin pie.
” — Jim Davis 179 .
“ Turkey : A large bird whose flesh , when eaten on certain religious anniversaries , has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
” — Ambrose Bierce 180 .
“ Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional line sitter I hired to hold my place at the front of the Thanksgiving food line.
” — John Lyon 181 .
“ Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 12 minutes .
Half-times take 12 minutes .
This is not a coincidence.
” — Erma Bombeck 182 .
“ Cooking tip : Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.
” — Nicole Hollander 183 .
“ What we ’ re really talking about is a wonderful day when no one diets .
I mean , why else would they call it Thanksgiving ?
” — Erma Bombeck 185 .
“ Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday .
People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a year is way too often.
” — Johnny Carson 186 .
“ Thanksgiving—when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn ’ t have to cook.
” — Melanie White 187 .
“ I ’ m from Canada , so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food.
” — Howie Mandel 188 .
“ I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
” — Erma Bombeck 189 .
“ It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey .
I stuffed it through @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
“ I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way .
I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house , we had an enormous feast , and then I killed them and took their land.
” — Jon Stewart 191 .
“ Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape… to play Santa Claus.
” — Melanie White 192 .
“ Most turkeys taste better the day after ; my mother ’ s tasted better the day before.
” — Rita Rudner 193 .
“ Personally , I love Thanksgiving traditions : watching @ @ @ @ @ @ @ saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.
” — Stephen Colbert 194 .
“ The funny thing about Thanksgiving , or any big meal , is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it then go home and cook , chop , braise and blanch .
Then it ’ s gone in 20 minutes and everybody lies around sort of in a sugar coma and then it takes 4 hours to clean it up.
” — Ted Allen 195 .
“ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and sit at the adults ’ table .
That ’ s ’ cause , you know , somebody had to die for me to move up a plate.
” — Andre Kelley 196 .
“ The Thankstini : a fun and delicious new novelty drink I invented .
Cranberry juice , potato vodka , and a bouillon cube .
Tastes just like a turkey dinner.
” — How I Met Your Mother 197 .
“ Here ’ s a tip : Don ’ t cook Thanksgiving dinner for five people in 14 hours @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Don ’ t ask a guy out for a first date on the least sexy holiday in America.
” — New Girl 198 .
“ I swear to you , this will be your most memorable Thanksgiving , the one that you ’ ll want the rest of your life .
The one that you say ‘ Man , it was never as good as that night.
’ So let this night be great.
” — Funny People 199 .
“ We ’ re just gon na watch football , drink beer , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Best Buy later for Black Friday.
” — New Girl 200 .
“ What am I supposed to be thankful for , exactly ?
Who am I meant to be thanking , right ?
I ’ ve had to scratch and claw for everything I ’ ve got .
If anything , I should be thanking myself.
” — Always Sunny in Philadelphia Happy Thanksgiving wishes to send to your religious relatives : 201 .
May God bless our family on this special day .
202 .
Happy Thanksgiving day !
I ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of this family .
203 .
God , thank you so much for your heavenly blessings .
204 .
It ’ s Thanksgiving tradition to say a prayer , so let us bow our heads and pray .
205 .
Almighty God , thank you for blessing our food today .
207 .
Today , we give thanks to the Almighty God and everything he ’ s given us .
208 .
On this joyous Thanksgiving , we can not forget to give our thanks to God .
209 .
God bless you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ warmest wishes on this beautiful Thanksgiving .
210 .
My grateful heart loves you and appreciates you .
Thank God you ’ ve entered my life .
211 .
Happy turkey day !
Make sure you eat all your vegetables .
But also leave room for pie !
212 .
Gobble gobble !
That ’ s turkey talk for I love and miss you on this special day .
213 .
I ’ m so thankful that your mommy and daddy brought you into this world .
214 .
Happy Thanksgiving , little @ @ @ @ @ @ @ parents you ’ re thankful for them on this special day !
215 .
Every single day , I ’ m thankful for you , but today I ’ m going to scream it from the rooftops !
216 .
Don ’ t worry .
The turkey isn ’ t going to bite — but you can bite him .
217 .
You ’ re my little turkey .
I love you so much .
218 .
Happy holidays !
Christmas is right around the corner , so eat your veggies !
219 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ day .
Don ’ t get a stomachache , though !
220 .
Happy turkey day !
I can ’ t wait to see you soon , little buddy !
222 .
Worry about the Christmas tree later .
Today it ’ s all about the poul-tree .
223 .
Happy turkey day !
It doesn ’ t get butter than this .
224 .
I hope today is the baste Thanksgiving ever .
225 .
Today is leg day .
Turkey leg day , that is .
226 .
Hey , I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ gravy , but here ’ s my stuffing , so carve me maybe !
227 .
Leftovers are for quitters .
Make sure you eat plenty today !
228 .
Don ’ t use any fowl language during our turkey dinner .
229 .
You are the pumpkin pie of my eye .
I love you , buddy !
230 .
Knock , knock !
Who ’ s there ?
Arthur .
Arthur who ?
Arthur any leftovers ?
Meaningful Thanksgiving messages to send anyone in your life : 231 .
I ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , for family , and for my life as a whole .
232 .
Thanksgiving is the most beautiful holiday because it involves people who mean the most to me .
233 .
Delicious food is always nice , but the best part of the holidays is spending time with my loved ones and dear ones .
234 .
I ’ m thankful for the food on my plate and the family by my side .
I couldn ’ t be happier .
235 .
Thanksgiving is the best time to check in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ wondering how you have been ?
236 .
I love everything about the Thanksgiving season , from the turkey to the stuffing to the people gathered around the table .
237 .
I hope you pack your plate with delicious food .
I hope your stomach stays full and happy .
238 .
Happy Thanksgiving !
Thank you for holding such a special place in my heart .
239 .
This Thanksgiving , I ’ m thankful for all the lessons you taught me .
I can not overstate how much you mean @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t care whether the turkey is burnt or potatoes are hard , as long as we spend this holiday together .
Thanksgiving messages to send when you ’ re spending the holidays apart : 241 .
Even if we don ’ t see each other today , know that you are on my mind and in my heart .
242 .
I wish we were spending Thanksgiving together , but we will see each other again soon .
243 .
I ’ m thankful to have you in my life , even @ @ @ @ @ @ @ home .
244 .
I wish we were together this holiday season .
Especially since I burnt the turkey .
245 .
My favorite Thanksgivings were spent with you .
I ’ m going to miss you even more than usual today .
246 .
Thanksgiving only comes once per year — but we ’ ll get plenty of chances to see each other soon .
247 .
I miss you so much .
Thanksgiving doesn ’ t seem as special without you here to carve the turkey .
248 .
Thanksgiving is @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on my mind .
I ’ ll be thinking of you all day long .
249 .
Even when we aren ’ t spending the holidays together , you ’ re the only one on my mind .
I hope you have a wonderful day .
250 .
This turkey is way too big for one person .
I ’ ll be dropping off leftovers soon , so keep an eye out for them .
251 .
I wish you were here to celebrate with me , but there ’ s always next @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be able to see each other this Thanksgiving , but we ’ re going to cook twice the food and have twice the drinks next year !
253 .
I ’ m thankful to have someone to miss as much as I miss you .
254 .
The dinner table feels so empty without you , but I know you ’ re here in spirit .
255 .
Wherever you are , I hope you ’ re gobbling up some delicious food .
256 .
Even though you ’ re not here today @ @ @ @ @ @ @ part of this family .
We all love you and can ’ t wait to see you again soon .
257 .
It ’ s not Thanksgiving without you , but that ’ s okay .
We know you would be here if you could .
258 .
I wish you were here .
Mostly because you ’ re a much better cook than me !
259 .
This Thanksgiving , I ’ m thankful for technology because even though we can ’ t see each other in person , we can still @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and miss you .
I won ’ t have anything to be thankful about until you ’ re sitting beside me again .
261 .
If you come over tonight , I can give you something to be thankful about .
262 .
The turkey isn ’ t the only thing that needs stuffing .
263 .
I ’ m going to Plymouth Rock your world !
264 .
You can butter my biscuit whenever you want .
266 .
Make sure you leave room for dessert .
I have something delicious you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you prefer the breasts or the thighs ?
268 .
You ’ re even sweeter than pumpkin pie .
Let me have a taste .
269 .
The food isn ’ t the only thing that ’ s going to make you want to loosen your belt .
270 .
Is it the oven or is it getting hot in here ?
271 .
Do you wan na ride my mayflower ?
272 .
I ’ m not stuffed yet .
But I will be once you get here .
273 .
Want @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ m wishing for a date with you .
277 .
You can call me tryptophan , because you ’ ll be sleepy when we ’ re done together .
278 .
There ’ s only one cavity that I want to stuff .
280 .
I ’ d be very thankful if you did some giving .

Thanksgiving is a special time of year when you’re meant to remind your family and friends how much they mean to you. Of course, you might not always be able to see each other in person on the holidays. Whether you’re spending the day apart or are going to be sitting at the dinner table together soon, you should send them a message to show them you’re thinking of them.
You can send a thoughtful Thanksgiving card through the mail, or you can send sending a short text on the actual day. Either way, you shouldn’t forget to give your loved ones a special Thanksgiving greeting. Here are a few of the best examples of a happy Thanksgiving quote to send your friends and family during the Thanksgiving holiday:
Famous Thanksgiving sayings about gratitude:
1. “Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.” — Shakespeare
2. “A great meal is an experience that nourishes more than your body.” — Ruth Reichl
3. “Gratitude is the closest thing to beauty manifested in an emotion.” — Mindy Kalin
4. “Gratitude is looking on the brighter side of life, even if it means hurting your eyes.” — Ellen DeGeneres
5. “I started out giving thanks for small things, and the more thankful I became, the more my bounty increased.” — Oprah Winfrey
6. “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” — Willie Nelson
7. “You oughta be thankful, a whole heaping lot, for the places and people you’re lucky you’re not!” — Dr. Seuss
8. “I’m so thankful for friendship. It beautifies life so much.” — L.M. Montgomery
9. “Knowing it can always get worse, I try to be grateful for whatever good I have.” — Elizabeth Smart
10. “Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving.” — Jacob M. Braude
11. “Thanksgiving just gets me all warm and tingly and all kinds of wonderful inside.” — Willard Scott
12. “The greatest gift one can give is thanksgiving. In giving gifts, we give what we can spare, but in giving thanks, we give ourselves.” — David Steindl-Rast
13. “Take another look at your life. Give thanks. Accept your circumstances. Give thanks. Count your blessings. Give thanks.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach
14. “The Universe loves a grateful person. The more you thank life, the more Life will give you to be thankful for.” — Louise Hay
15. “If you have enough breath to complain about anything, you have more than enough reason to give thanks about something.” — Mattie Stepanek
16. “The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best. Therefore it tends to become the best. It takes the form or character of the best, and will receive the best.” — Wallace Wattles
17. “The real gift of gratitude is that the more grateful you are, the more present you become.” — Robert Holden
18. “I am grateful for all my victories, but I am especially grateful for my losses because they only made me work harder.” — Muhammad Ali
19. “The more grateful we feel, the more things we receive to feel grateful for. The more loved we feel, the more love we receive. The more beautiful we feel, the more attractive we become.” — Denise Coates
20. “Counting your blessings increases them. People who take the time to focus on the things they are grateful for are happier and healthier.” — Sheryl Sandberg
Thanksgiving jokes that will make your family laugh aloud:
21. What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
22. Why did the turkey cross the road? It was Thanksgiving Day, and he wanted people to think he was a chicken!
23. What animal has the worst eating habits? The turkey, because it gobbles everything up!
24. Why do turkeys eat so little? Because they are always stuffed.
25. What part of the turkey do musicians love the most? The drumsticks.
26. Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall? Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats!
27. Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey? He sensed fowl play.
28. What sound does a limping turkey make? Wobble, wobble!
29. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to at the first Thanksgiving feast? Plymouth Rock!
30. If pilgrims were alive today, what would they be known for? Their age.
31. What do you call a turkey on the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky.
32. What’s the best song to sing when preparing your turkey? All About That Baste.
33. What kind of key can’t open doors? A tur-key.
34. What is a turkey’s favorite dessert? Peach gobbler!
35. What does Thanksgiving have in common with Halloween? Gobble-ins!
36. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
37. What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost? A poultry-geist!
38. Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t chicken.
39. If you call a large turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one? Goblet.
40. My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes… but I told them I couldn’t quit cold turkey.
Examples of a deep, inspirational Thanksgiving quote:
41. “Focusing on one thing that you are grateful for increases the energy of gratitude and rises the joy inside yourself.” — Oprah Winfrey
42. “Gratitude paints little smiley faces on everything it touches.” — Richelle E. Goodrich
43. “The most thankful person is the most fully human.” — Thomas Goodwin
44. “Thankfulness is the quickest path to joy.” — Jefferson Bethke
45. “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” — John F. Kennedy
46. “Reflect upon your present blessings—of which every man has many—not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” — Charles Dickens
47. “Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts.” — David O. McKay
48. “Thanksgiving is the holiday that encompasses all others. All of them, from Martin Luther King Day to Arbor Day to Christmas to Valentine’s Day, are in one way or another about being thankful.” — Jonathan Safran Foer
49. “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” — Eckhart Tolle
50. “Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.” — Ernest Hemingway
51. “Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling.” — Henry van Dyke
52. “Gratitude opens the door, the power, the wisdom, the creativity of the universe. You open the door through gratitude.” — Deepak Chopra
53. “I am thankful for small mercies. I compared notes with one of my friends who expect everything of the universe and is disappointed when anything is less than the best, and I found that I begin at the other extreme, expecting nothing, and am always full of thanks for moderate good.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
54. “Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” — Melody Beattie
55. “Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.” — Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr
56. “The thankful receiver bears a plentiful harvest.” — William Blake
57. “I’m most thankful for that in spite of the fact that things look dark a lot of the time, there is an increasing number of conversations about loving each other and including each other and finding ways to do that.” — Bellamy Young
58. “When times are bad, having each other, having your health, we can do with a lot less…And I think that’s an important lesson I want my kids to understand as they get out there in the world. Be grateful for what you have and be ready to share it when the time comes.” — Michelle Obama
59. “In the end, though, maybe we must all give up trying to pay back the people in this world who sustain our lives. In the end, maybe it’s wiser to surrender before the miraculous scope of human generosity and to just keep saying thank you, forever and sincerely, for as long as we have voices.” — Elizabeth Gilbert
60. “Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.” — Maya Angelou
Simple Thanksgiving quotes to send anyone in your life:
61. “Thanksgiving is the meal we aspire for other meals to resemble.” — Jonathan Safran Foer
62. “Give thanks for a little, and you will find a lot.” — Hausa Proverb
63. “Thanksgiving was never meant to be shut up in a single day.” — Robert Caspar Lintner
64. “He who thanks but with the lips thanks but in part; the full, the true Thanksgiving comes from the heart.” — J.A. Shedd
65. “Give thanks not just on Thanksgiving Day, but every day of your life. Appreciate and never take for granted all that you have.” — Catherine Pulsifer
66. “What I love about Thanksgiving is that it’s purely about getting together with friends or family and enjoying food. It’s really for everybody, and it doesn’t matter where you’re from.” — Daniel Humm
67. “No one has ever become poor by giving.” — Anne Frank
68. “Thanksgiving is one of my favorite days of the year because it reminds us to give thanks and to count our blessings. Suddenly, so many things become so little when we realize how blessed and lucky we are.” — Joyce Giraud
69. “Thanksgiving is a joyous invitation to shower the world with love and gratitude.” — Amy Leigh Mercree
70. “Forever on Thanksgiving, the heart will find the pathway home.” — Wilbur D. Nesbit
71. “What if today, we were just grateful for everything?” — Charlie Brown
72. “Be thankful for what you have. Your life is someone else’s fairy tale.” — Wale Ayeni
73. “I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual.” — Henry David Thoreau
74. “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.” — Oprah Winfrey
75. “Thanksgiving day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.” — E.P. Powell
76. “Thanksgiving isn’t just a day. It’s a way we can live our lives every day.” — Katrina Mayer
77. “If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.” — Frank A. Clark
78. “Thanks are the highest form of thought, and gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” — G.K. Chesterton
79. “I love Thanksgiving because it’s a holiday that is centered around food and family.” — Marcus Samuelsson
80. “If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.” — W. Clement Stone
Thanksgiving prayers to send your religious relatives:
81. “If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” — Meister Eckhart
82. “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all the others.” — Marcus Tullius Cicero
83. “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other as is though everything is a miracle.” — Albert Einstein
84. “Careful for nothing, prayerful for everything, thankful for anything.” – Dwight L. Moody
85. “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever.” — Psalm 136:1
86. “Living in a state of gratitude is the gateway to grace.” — Arianna Huffington
87. “Sharing in God’s blessings is at the heart of Thanksgiving and at the core of the American spirit.” — Bill Clinton
88. “No matter how choppy the seas become, a believer’s heart is buoyed by constant praise and gratefulness to the Lord.” — John MacArthur
89. “Even when life may be difficult, we should thank God for all He does for us, which we do not deserve.” — Billy Graham
90. “Once you feel grateful, you are in an energy that can create miracles.” — Joe Vitale
91. “The Christian who walks with the Lord and keeps constant communion with Him will see many reasons for rejoicing and thanksgiving all day long.” — Warren W. Wiersbe
92. “Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy. They are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” — Marcel Proust
93. “The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.” — Henry Ward Beecher
94. “All across America, we gather this week with the people we love to give thanks to God for the blessings in our lives.” — George W. Bush
95. “O Lord that lends me life, Lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.” — William Shakespeare
96. “No people on earth have more cause to be thankful than ours, and this is said reverently, in no spirit of boastfulness in our own strength, but with the gratitude to the Giver of good who has blessed us.” — Theodore Roosevelt
97. “Remember God’s bounty in the year. String the pearls of His favor. Hide the dark parts, except so far as they are breaking out in light! Give this one day to thanks, to joy, to gratitude!” — Henry Ward Beecher
98. “We would worry less if we praised more. Thanksgiving is the enemy of discontent and dissatisfaction.” — H.A. Ironside
99. “Thanksgiving is a season that is very much in accord with the themes and teachings of Jesus Christ.” — John Clayton
100. “We should certainly count our blessings, but we should also make our blessings count.” — Neal A. Maxwell
The best thanksgiving message for your boyfriend or girlfriend:
101. Happy Thanksgiving, baby! Don’t eat any pumpkin pie without me.
102. It’s a blessing to spend this Thanksgiving with you. I love you so much.
103. I have such a full, thankful heart on this beautiful Thanksgiving Day.
104. Gathering with our loved ones is always nice — but all I need is you.
105. I’m so thankful to have you in my life. I love you to the moon and back.
106. I love the holiday season because it means more time to spend with you.
107. Happy Thanksgiving day! The turkey is waiting, and I am, too.
108. I want to start a new Thanksgiving tradition with you because you’re my family now.
109. Today, I want to show my appreciation for you. I’m so thankful for everything you do for me.
110. I know we’re going to have a wonderful Thanksgiving together. Every day spent with you is perfect.
111. It’s a good thing you’re dating me because I make the best sweet potatoes and pie.
112. This is going to be such a memorable Thanksgiving. We’re never going to forget this day.
113. I’m putting on my comfy pants because I’m ready for a Thanksgiving celebration!
114. Thanksgiving is the perfect day to tell you how much happiness you’ve brought into my life.
115. I’m so blessed to be celebrating this Thanksgiving season alongside my true love.
116. I can’t wait to cook a Thanksgiving meal with you! It’s going to taste great.
117. This is the first of many happy Thanksgivings together.
118. On this Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for you.
119. Thanksgiving is even better when I’m sitting beside you.
120. Happy Thanksgiving, darling! I love you even more than pumpkin pie!
Thanksgiving wishes for your mother and father:
121. Happy Thanksgiving! I’m ready for a good dinner and good company.
122. Happy turkey day! I hope you’re ready to stuff yourselves.
123. The great thing about Thanksgiving is that I get to spend it with you two.
124. I don’t say this enough, but I love you and am so thankful for you.
125. Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you have a happy holiday!
126. Today is a good day to see the family.
127. My Thanksgiving wish is that we’ll all be happy and healthy this coming year.
128. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Enjoy every bite of food you take without worrying about your weight.
129. Have a great Thanksgiving! Eat enough turkey for both of us.
130. I wish you a bountiful Thanksgiving. Have fun!
131. I’m ready to stuff myself with sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce.
132. I’m sending you warm wishes on this special day. I miss you!
133. Have a cheerful Thanksgiving. Focus on the good in your lives, not the bad.
134. I love you! You bring me so much joy and comfort. I cannot thank you enough for that, mom and dad.
135. Thanksgiving holds so many wonderful memories for me — and it’s all because of you.
136. I love you — especially when you cook me a warm turkey dinner.
137. Thank you for always making the Thanksgiving holiday feel so special.
138. I’m so thankful for you. I appreciate everything you do.
139. I’m so excited for tonight. I miss sitting around the dinner table with you.
140. The Thanksgiving holiday is my favorite because it’s filled with good food and good people.
Thanksgiving messages for your closest friends:
141. Happy turkey day! I just wanted to remind you how much you mean to me!
142. You’re such a good friend! I’m sending you warm wishes today.
143. To my dear friend on this beautiful Thanksgiving Day. May you have the meal of a lifetime!
144. Wonderful things are coming your way in this coming year. I can feel it.
145. I hope your Thanksgiving is peaceful and all your family members get along!
146. Turkey isn’t the best part of Thanksgiving. The alcohol is!
147. Happy turkey day! Don’t forget to gobble up some homemade food.
148. Happy Thanksgiving! I just wanted to send you my warm appreciation.
149. I hope this is your best Thanksgiving yet. I miss you, buddy.
150. You’ve always been like family to me. Happy Thanksgiving.
151. I’m so thankful you walked into my life long ago. I love you, pal.
152. I wish you a happy Thanksgiving. I hope you have the time of your life.
153. I love you more than I love most of my family. I wish I was spending the day with you.
154. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving day! Make the most of every second.
155. I’m beyond thankful to have a friend like you in my life.
156. I’m saving you some turkey. I’ll see you soon, man.
157. You’re my best friend. I’m thankful for you today and every other day.
158. Remember, you’re allowed to spoil yourself today. Eat whatever you want without feeling guilty!
159. I can’t thank you enough for always being there for me. It means a lot, dear friend.
160. I’m so thankful you’re in my life — even though you get on my nerves sometimes.
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes from Actors and Comedians:
161. “For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag.” — Andy Borowitz
162. “I’m looking forward to seeing pie this Thanksgiving more than members of my own family.” — Damien Fahey
163. “I can’t cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.” — Charlie Brown
164. “After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” — Oscar Wilde
165. “It’s not too much food. This is what we’ve been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny; this is our finest hour.” — Lorelai Gilmore
166. “Good mashed potato is one of the great luxuries of life.” — Lindsey Bareham
167. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the eons, it’s that you can’t give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it.” — Rick Riordan
168. “Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” — Kevin James
169. “Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home.” — Melanie White
170. “It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a little emotional scarring.” — Friends
171. “Overeating at Thanksgiving is a case in point. It’s a national tradition.” — Eric Samuel Timm
172. “An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” — Irv Kupcinet
173. “A new survey found that 80% of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner. Which makes sense, when you hear they consider saying ‘that smells good’ to be helping.” — Jimmy Fallon
174. “I suppose I will die never knowing what pumpkin pie tastes like when you have room for it.” — Robert Brault
175. “Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” — Michael Dresser
176. “Thanksgiving. It’s like we didn’t even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'” — Jim Gaffigan
177. “I like football. I find it’s an exciting strategic game. It’s a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.” — Craig Ferguson
178. “Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.” — Jim Davis
179. “Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.” — Ambrose Bierce
180. “Hope my relatives are getting along with the professional line sitter I hired to hold my place at the front of the Thanksgiving food line.” — John Lyon
181. “Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.” — Erma Bombeck
182. “Cooking tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.” — Nicole Hollander
183. “What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?” — Erma Bombeck
184. “Pie makes everybody happy.” — Laurie Halse Anderson
185. “Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” — Johnny Carson
186. “Thanksgiving—when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook.” — Melanie White
187. “I’m from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food.” — Howie Mandel
188. “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” — Erma Bombeck
189. “It took me three weeks to stuff the turkey. I stuffed it through the beak.” — Phyllis Diller
190. “I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” — Jon Stewart
191. “Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape… to play Santa Claus.” — Melanie White
192. “Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.” — Rita Rudner
193. “Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.” — Stephen Colbert
194. “The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any big meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it then go home and cook, chop, braise and blanch. Then it’s gone in 20 minutes, and everybody lies around sort of in a sugar coma, and then it takes 4 hours to clean it up.” — Ted Allen
195. “I got to go home for Thanksgiving and sit at the adults’ table. That’s ’cause, you know, somebody had to die for me to move up a plate.” — Andre Kelley
196. “The Thankstini: a fun and delicious new novelty drink I invented. Cranberry juice, potato vodka, and a bouillon cube. Tastes just like a turkey dinner.” — How I Met Your Mother
197. “Here’s a tip: Don’t cook Thanksgiving dinner for five people in 14 hours. Here’s another tip: Don’t ask a guy out for a first date on the least sexy holiday in America.” — New Girl
198. “I swear to you, this will be your most memorable Thanksgiving, the one that you’ll want the rest of your life. The one that you say ‘Man, it was never as good as that night.’ So let this night be great.” — Funny People
199. “We’re just gonna watch football, drink beer, and then we’re going to Best Buy later for Black Friday.” — New Girl
200. “What am I supposed to be thankful for, exactly? Who am I meant to be thanking, right? I’ve had to scratch and claw for everything I’ve got. If anything, I should be thanking myself.” — Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Happy Thanksgiving wishes to send to your religious relatives:
201. May God bless our family on this special day.
202. Happy Thanksgiving day! I’m so thankful for every single member of this family.
203. God, thank you so much for your heavenly blessings.
204. It’s Thanksgiving tradition to say a prayer, so let us bow our heads and pray.
205. Almighty God, thank you for blessing our food today.
206. Have a blessed Thanksgiving! I love you dearly.
207. Today, we give thanks to the Almighty God and everything he’s given us.
208. On this joyous Thanksgiving, we cannot forget to give our thanks to God.
209. God bless you. I’m sending you my warmest wishes on this beautiful Thanksgiving.
210. My grateful heart loves you and appreciates you. Thank God you’ve entered my life.
Happy Thanksgiving messages to send to younger kids:
211. Happy turkey day! Make sure you eat all your vegetables. But also leave room for pie!
212. Gobble gobble! That’s turkey talk for I love and miss you on this special day.
213. I’m so thankful that your mommy and daddy brought you into this world.
214. Happy Thanksgiving, little one. Make sure you remind your parents you’re thankful for them on this special day!
215. Every single day, I’m thankful for you, but today I’m going to scream it from the rooftops!
216. Don’t worry. The turkey isn’t going to bite — but you can bite him.
217. You’re my little turkey. I love you so much.
218. Happy holidays! Christmas is right around the corner, so eat your veggies!
219. I hope you have the best day. Don’t get a stomachache, though!
220. Happy turkey day! I can’t wait to see you soon, little buddy!
221. Gobble until you wobble!
222. Worry about the Christmas tree later. Today it’s all about the poul-tree.
223. Happy turkey day! It doesn’t get butter than this.
224. I hope today is the baste Thanksgiving ever.
225. Today is leg day. Turkey leg day that is.
226. Hey, I just met you, and this is gravy, but here’s my stuffing, so carve me maybe!
227. Leftovers are for quitters. Make sure you eat plenty today!
228. Don’t use any fowl language during our turkey dinner.
229. You are the pumpkin pie of my eye. I love you, buddy!
230. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any leftovers?
Meaningful Thanksgiving messages to send anyone in your life:
231. I’m feeling thankful today — for food, for family, and for my life as a whole.
232. Thanksgiving is the most beautiful holiday because it involves people who mean the most to me.
233. Delicious food is always nice, but the best part of the holidays is spending time with my loved ones and dear ones.
234. I’m thankful for the food on my plate and the family by my side. I couldn’t be happier.
235. Thanksgiving is the best time to check in on loved ones — so I was wondering how you have been?
236. I love everything about the Thanksgiving season, from the turkey to the stuffing to the people gathered around the table.
237. I hope you pack your plate with delicious food. I hope your stomach stays full and happy.
238. Happy Thanksgiving! Thank you for holding such a special place in my heart.
239. This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for all the lessons you taught me. I cannot overstate how much you mean to me.
240. I don’t care whether the turkey is burnt or potatoes are hard, as long as we spend this holiday together.
Thanksgiving messages to send when you’re spending the holidays apart:
241. Even if we don’t see each other today, know that you are on my mind and in my heart.
242. I wish we were spending Thanksgiving together, but we will see each other again soon.
243. I’m thankful to have you in my life, even when you’re not in my home.
244. I wish we were together this holiday season, especially since I burnt the turkey.
245. My favorite Thanksgivings were spent with you. I’m going to miss you even more than usual today.
246. Thanksgiving only comes once per year — but we’ll get plenty of chances to see each other soon.
247. I miss you so much. Thanksgiving doesn’t seem as special without you here to carve the turkey.
248. Thanksgiving is a special time. You’re on my mind. I’ll be thinking of you all day long.
249. Even when we aren’t spending the holidays together, you’re the only one on my mind. I hope you have a wonderful day.
250. This turkey is way too big for one person. I’ll be dropping off leftovers soon, so keep an eye out for them.
251. I wish you were here to celebrate with me, but there’s always next year!
252. We might not be able to see each other this Thanksgiving, but we’re going to cook twice the food and have twice the drinks next year!
253. I’m thankful to have someone to miss as much as I miss you.
254. The dinner table feels so empty without you, but I know you’re here in spirit.
255. Wherever you are, I hope you’re gobbling up some delicious food.
256. Even though you’re not here today, remember you’re an important part of this family. We all love you and can’t wait to see you again soon.
257. It’s not Thanksgiving without you, but that’s okay. We know you would be here if you could.
258. I wish you were here mostly because you’re a much better cook than me!
259. This Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for technology because even though we can’t see each other in person, we can still talk.
260. I love you, and miss you. I won’t have anything to be thankful for until you’re sitting beside me again.
R-Rated Thanksgiving texts to send your crush:
261. If you come over tonight, I can give you something to be thankful about.
262. The turkey isn’t the only thing that needs stuffing.
263. I’m going to Plymouth Rock your world!
264. You can butter my biscuit whenever you want.
265. You’re like a turkey dinner. I’ll eat you anytime.
266. Make sure you leave room for dessert. I have something delicious you can gobble on.
267. Do you prefer the breasts or the thighs?
268. You’re even sweeter than pumpkin pie. Let me have a taste.
269. The food isn’t the only thing that’s going to make you want to loosen your belt.
270. Is it the oven, or is it getting hot in here?
271. Do you want to ride my mayflower?
272. I’m not stuffed yet. But I will be once you get here.
273. Want to break the wishbone? Because I wish for a date with you.
274. I put the “pump” in pumpkin pie.
275. I have a thing for butterballs.
276. I’m a real master baster.
277. You can call me tryptophan because you’ll be sleepy when we’re done together.
278. There’s only one cavity that I want to stuff.
279. Damn, girl, you’ve got some fine yams.
280. I’d be very thankful if you did some giving.