thoughtcatalog--2020-09-24--The Zodiac Sign You Adore The Most VS. Who You Can’t Stand Based On Your Astrological Sign

You are ambitious , passionate , and are a person of action .
Leos are confident , playful , and fearless .
You can ’ t help but be drawn to them !
Leos don ’ t ask you to calm yourself down , and will actually be the person who hypes you up .
You ’ re both independent , adventurous , and neither of you are very needy emotionally- you just get each other .
While you both share an intensity , it tends to be about the only thing you can relate to .
You both jump @ @ @ @ @ @ @ t afraid to argue- which is about all you do .
Scorpios are mysterious and don ’ t open up easily , which is totally opposite of your outgoing and open book nature .
Where Scorpios are deeply in tune with their emotions and are introspective , you are more connected to the physical world around you and prefer to take action .
You both have a hard time finding much common ground .
You ’ re dependable , practical , and like things to be a certain way .
Virgos are organized @ @ @ @ @ @ @ get things done .
You can ’ t help but admire their ability to achieve what they set their mind to .
You relate to their selectivity in what events they participate in and who they allow into your lives , because you ’ re the same way .
You compliment each other well because your eye for aesthetics and beauty pairs well with their focus on functionality- you both are always put together and look great in the process .
Virgos remind you of how you can improve , and you remind @ @ @ @ @ @ @ relax sometimes .
You work well together .
You aren ’ t a fan of change , and Sags moving 90 miles a minute stress you out .
Sagittarius is always stepping outside their comfort zones and challenging you to do the same , and even if it ’ s done with the best intentions , you can ’ t stand it .
You aren ’ t one to draw attention to yourself and prefer to quietly form connections , and Sagittarius tendencies to be the life of the party usually annoys you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ their blunt honesty , it doesn ’ t make up for the reality that you just approach the world in wildly different ways .
You ’ re social , intellectual , and always interested in learning more .
Aquarius is introspective , a little mysterious , and continuously pursuing growth and understanding .
The two of you tend to gravitate towards each other without trying .
You appreciate the way Aquarius does deep dives into the things they are passionate about , and they appreciate your seemingly infinite database of facts and intense @ @ @ @ @ @ @ differences , but they work well together- you expand Aquarius ’ worldview , and they help you to focus on certain topics that are exceptionally important rather than jumping to the next new thing .
Your camaraderie is undeniable .
You try your best to understand others points of view , but when it comes to Capricorns you have a pretty hard time with it .
You like deconstructing everything and understanding it better-you aren ’ t one to follow something simply because you were told .
You lean towards the future and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ opening up a world of possibilities .
Capricorns are very tried and true , and are by the book in so much of what they do .
You just feel too restricted around Capricorn signs , and feel they are just too stodgy to be around long term .
They view you as too scattered and unable to really commit .
You just have fundamentally different ideas and it ’ s hard to reconcile them .
You ’ re intense , and you gravitate towards those who also feel things intensely- cue Scorpio @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and always looking at the long term .
Scorpios are intuitive , dedicated , and have a desire to establish complete connection .
You both hold quite a few qualities in common , you just have slight personality traits that set you apart .
Scorpios aren ’ t afraid to embrace their inner emotions , even the ones that are angry or darker .
You lean more towards the optimistic side of things and try to not delve into negative feelings unless it ’ s necessary- but this dynamic works well together .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ that you both feel things in such a big way , and in a world that is constantly calling you both too sensitive or misunderstanding you , you find a strong connection and safety with each other .
There just isn ’ t much common ground here .
Where your priorities are stability , emotional expression , and comfort , Aquarius believes constant change , intellectual discussion , and personal growth hold more weight .
You both hold an immense capacity for caring for others , there is no debate about that .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t add up .
You are very obvious and intentional in expressing how you feel , Aquarius is more withdrawn .
Aquarius desires long periods of alone time , even in a relationship , whereas you want more consistency with your connections .
You two seem to hit it off no matter what the situation .
You ’ re outgoing , loyal , and unafraid to take the lead .
Libras are sociable , empathetic , and always open to others suggestions .
Your strengths compliment each other well- you both love @ @ @ @ @ @ @ encouraging and supportive .
While you might be a bit more prone to attention , Libras don ’ t mind at all- they tend to prefer being behind the scenes .
Libras are solid fans of over-the-top romance and grand gestures , which you are glad to go for .
You both just resonate on a level that is practically untouched by others .
You two aren ’ t polar opposites , but you definitely butt heads- often painfully .
You aren ’ t afraid to be proud of your accomplishments and you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Virgos aren ’ t ones to dole out affirmation- typically they focus on how to be even better .
You tend to feel dismissed and nagged by Virgos because they make you feel a bit less about yourself .
On the other side , Virgos are practical and down to earth , and you come off as too abrasive and dramatic for their taste .
They don ’ t understand why everything needs to be spectacle , and you don ’ t understand why they just can ’ t loosen up once in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ who are grounded and dedicated .
Your connection with Taurus stands out because your slight differences truly do being out the best in each other .
Taurus signs have an eye for things that are aesthetic and know how to bring things together- you know how to find the practical , put together options life has to offer .
Taurus teaches you to be a little easier on yourself and encourages you- but not in a superficial way that you see through , but in a genuine , direct way you can appreciate @ @ @ @ @ @ @ settle and do more , and while they might get anxious changing things up , you know how to help someone improve within structure and routine .
You ’ re unstoppable when you ’ re together .
Try as you might , Leos just aren ’ t ones you work well with .
You can appreciate their confidence , but within a short time you tend to view them as flashy and arrogant .
They desire attention in a way that you just can ’ t fathom , and they expect validation when @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be critical of yourself and others because you believe things can always be improved , which annoys Leos to no end .
You can ’ t help but be drawn to Geminis- both of you have so much to talk about !
You are both social and love to discuss things at length , and given your vast amount of interests , it ’ s hard to run out of things to say .
You like people who are interesting and a little dramatic , because you like establishing harmony .
Geminis are @ @ @ @ @ @ @ view , even if it ’ s just to debate them .
You like to understand where people are coming from so that you can get to know them more .
You help Geminis get along better with those who might make assumptions about them , and Geminis help you care a little less on what others think about you .
You ’ re a pretty great team .
Aries means well , but they tend to be a lot .
With their “ i don ’ t care ” attitude that doesn @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , you don ’ t vibe well .
While you appreciate Aries encouraging support , it just comes off as aggressive and overwhelming to you .
They are spontaneous , and they definitely aren ’ t afraid of grand gestures- which you genuinely love- yet Aries temper can be a bit uncontrollable , and your sensitive spirit has a hard time dealing with their bluntness .
While you believe in hearing everyone out and focusing on keeping the peace , Aries is often ready to blow up the situation regardless of how others @ @ @ @ @ @ @ speaking your mind , and Aries is a bit of a bulldozer .
You really want to like them , but they ’ re just too harsh for you .
You ’ re deeply invested in others emotionally , you love to get to know people on a deeper level , and you are as loyal as they come .
Cancers are nurturing , emotionally expressive , and goes out of their way to make others feel at home .
You both just get each other in ways others don ’ t .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ you feel , and you desire long-term intimate connections that withstand anything .
It ’ s hard to find another person who is as devoted and intense as you are , but Cancers fit the bill .
Geminis can seem intriguing to you at first , but it ’ s often short lived .
While you both can play the unattached , mysterious game , that is not what you want in reality .
Geminis are interested in so many possibilities and people , and you want someone ’ s undivided attention .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ and you think they are flaky .
They want to keep their options open , and you have a hard time trusting anyone who won ’ t commit to you 100 % .
Even as friends , you want to be able to open up and show them the heavy , darker parts of yourself , and Gemini ’ s just aren ’ t ones who want to handle that weight .
It ’ s hard to really understand each other , even when you want to .
You ’ re adventurous , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a great time .
Aries are passionate , honest , and always on the move .
You have a great deal of respect for Aries , likely because you share quite a few similarities .
You ’ re both exceptionally blunt and don ’ t see the point in dishonesty .
You both tend to leap into action over dwelling on a situation .
You both are always supportive and encouraging , which the other appreciates deeply .
Aries can be a bit more temperamental than you at times , but you know @ @ @ @ @ @ @ disagreements to blow over .
Aries also appreciate the vast amount of knowledge and intellect you hold , because they can learn from you without it feeling condescending .
You ’ re always searching for growth and expansion , refusing to leave any stone left unturned .
Taurus signs have created their own world and don ’ t have any desire to leave it .
You ’ re flexible and open to anything , Taurus are stubborn and know exactly what they want- and they won ’ t settle for anything else .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ also don ’ t have the best tact when expressing your opinions , and it ’ s hard to keep things easy going between the two of you .
You don ’ t understand Taurus rigidness , and they don ’ t get your lack of commitment to one place or person .
While it ’ s no secret that you like earth signs , you have a real soft spot for Pisces .
You ’ re grounded , dedicated , and have a strong work ethic .
Pisces are empathetic , intuitive @ @ @ @ @ @ @ may seem fairly different on the outside , Pisces brings out a side of you that you really want to uncover , you just don ’ t know how .
Pisces uncover the softer , more romantic , silly side of you that is hard for you to show other people .
They understand you without trying , and you love them for that .
Pisces appreciate your grounded nature , and how you help them take their big dreams and passions and make them feel more tangible .
You actually show them @ @ @ @ @ @ @ instead of everyone else ’ s .
You bring out the best in each other .
You believe that tradition and structure truly help people thrive , and you don ’ t feel the need to find a new way to do something if the current method is working properly .
Geminis are always picking things apart and pushing to try something unconventional .
You both just see the world too differently , and it ’ s hard to find something in common .
Geminis are people oriented , and you prefer to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ sticking to something until it ’ s finished , and Gemini ’ s lack of follow through gets under your skin .
You see so much potential in them and it bothers you that they don ’ t seem to care .
They see you as stuck in your ways and close-minded .
You love exploring new topics through discussion , and you ’ re always interested in having your mind expanded .
Geminis are the perfect person for you to do this with , and you can ’ t help but love @ @ @ @ @ @ @ thorough dedication to understanding a topic and how you love the unconventional .
You love their constant change of interests that keep things interesting .
While they can seem a bit flaky at times , this doesn ’ t bother you much because you spend long periods of time alone and value your independence .
You both just vibe well together .
Cancers are emotionally intense , commitment focused , and prefer to stay at home .
You ’ re independent , open-minded , and want to explore and better the world around @ @ @ @ @ @ @ coming from with their love , but you just don ’ t feel comfortable with the amount of affection they give , and how much they want in return .
Cancers prefer you to focus on the two of you and how to improve your relationship , but you feel a pull to focus on the outside world and how to improve it instead .
You don ’ t want to be tied down , and Cancers aren ’ t subtle about the amount of commitment they want .
You just don ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Truthfully , you love so many different types of people , it ’ s hard to choose .
Yet a surprising sign you adore is Capricorns .
While to others they seem rigid and pessimistic , you can sense that there is more to them than what meets the eye .
You ’ re like their grounded presence and how dedicated they are to their loved ones .
They appreciate your empathy and desire to take care of people .
You both seem so different on the outside , but you are @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and you bring out the best in each other .
However , some earth signs just don ’ t work well with you- Virgo in particular .
You prefer to sit with how you feel emotionally before you can make a decision , where Virgos lean into the more practical options- despite how they feel .
You are sensitive and like to avoid conflict when you can .
Virgos are critical and can be harsh at times .
Despite your best efforts , you just can ’ t fathom how Virgos can be @ @ @ @ @ @ @ believe you ’ re too emotional and indecisive .
You do your best to get them to open up , but they refuse to let you in .
Overall , it ’ s just hard to really resonate with each other .

Aries
Adores: Leo
You are ambitious, passionate, and are a person of action. Leos are confident, playful, and fearless. You can’t help but be drawn to them! Leos don’t ask you to calm yourself down, and will actually be the person who hypes you up. You’re both independent, adventurous, and neither of you are very needy emotionally- you just get each other.
Can’t Stand: Scorpio
While you both share an intensity, it tends to be about the only thing you can relate to. You both jump to conclusions pretty quickly and aren’t afraid to argue- which is about all you do. Scorpios are mysterious and don’t open up easily, which is totally opposite of your outgoing and open book nature. Where Scorpios are deeply in tune with their emotions and are introspective, you are more connected to the physical world around you and prefer to take action. You both have a hard time finding much common ground.
Taurus
Adores: Virgo
You’re dependable, practical, and like things to be a certain way. Virgos are organized, loyal, and know how to get things done. You can’t help but admire their ability to achieve what they set their mind to. You relate to their selectivity in what events they participate in and who they allow into your lives, because you’re the same way. You compliment each other well because your eye for aesthetics and beauty pairs well with their focus on functionality- you both are always put together and look great in the process. Virgos remind you of how you can improve, and you remind Virgos that it’s okay to relax sometimes. You work well together.
Can’t Stand: Sagittarius
You aren’t a fan of change, and Sags moving 90 miles a minute stress you out. Sagittarius is always stepping outside their comfort zones and challenging you to do the same, and even if it’s done with the best intentions, you can’t stand it. You aren’t one to draw attention to yourself and prefer to quietly form connections, and Sagittarius tendencies to be the life of the party usually annoys you at least somewhat. While you appreciate their blunt honesty, it doesn’t make up for the reality that you just approach the world in wildly different ways.
Gemini
Adores: Aquarius
You’re social, intellectual, and always interested in learning more. Aquarius is introspective, a little mysterious, and continuously pursuing growth and understanding. The two of you tend to gravitate towards each other without trying. You appreciate the way Aquarius does deep dives into the things they are passionate about, and they appreciate your seemingly infinite database of facts and intense interests in subjects. You have some differences, but they work well together- you expand Aquarius’ worldview, and they help you to focus on certain topics that are exceptionally important rather than jumping to the next new thing. Your camaraderie is undeniable.
Can’t Stand: Capricorn
You try your best to understand others points of view, but when it comes to Capricorns you have a pretty hard time with it. You like deconstructing everything and understanding it better-you aren’t one to follow something simply because you were told. You lean towards the future and improving on what we already know, opening up a world of possibilities. Capricorns are very tried and true, and are by the book in so much of what they do. You just feel too restricted around Capricorn signs, and feel they are just too stodgy to be around long term. They view you as too scattered and unable to really commit. You just have fundamentally different ideas and it’s hard to reconcile them.
Cancer
Adores: Scorpio
You’re intense, and you gravitate towards those who also feel things intensely- cue Scorpio. You are devoted, emotional, and always looking at the long term. Scorpios are intuitive, dedicated, and have a desire to establish complete connection. You both hold quite a few qualities in common, you just have slight personality traits that set you apart. Scorpios aren’t afraid to embrace their inner emotions, even the ones that are angry or darker. You lean more towards the optimistic side of things and try to not delve into negative feelings unless it’s necessary- but this dynamic works well together. Your biggest draw to each other is that you both feel things in such a big way, and in a world that is constantly calling you both too sensitive or misunderstanding you, you find a strong connection and safety with each other.
Can’t Stand: Aquarius
There just isn’t much common ground here. Where your priorities are stability, emotional expression, and comfort, Aquarius believes constant change, intellectual discussion, and personal growth hold more weight. You both hold an immense capacity for caring for others, there is no debate about that. Yet your needs and wants just don’t add up. You are very obvious and intentional in expressing how you feel, Aquarius is more withdrawn. Aquarius desires long periods of alone time, even in a relationship, whereas you want more consistency with your connections.
Leo
Adores: Libra
You two seem to hit it off no matter what the situation. You’re outgoing, loyal, and unafraid to take the lead. Libras are sociable, empathetic, and always open to others suggestions. Your strengths compliment each other well- you both love people and you’re both incredibly encouraging and supportive. While you might be a bit more prone to attention, Libras don’t mind at all- they tend to prefer being behind the scenes. Libras are solid fans of over-the-top romance and grand gestures, which you are glad to go for. You both just resonate on a level that is practically untouched by others.
Can’t Stand: Virgo
You two aren’t polar opposites, but you definitely butt heads- often painfully. You aren’t afraid to be proud of your accomplishments and you want validation and praise for them. Virgos aren’t ones to dole out affirmation- typically they focus on how to be even better. You tend to feel dismissed and nagged by Virgos because they make you feel a bit less about yourself. On the other side, Virgos are practical and down to earth, and you come off as too abrasive and dramatic for their taste. They don’t understand why everything needs to be spectacle, and you don’t understand why they just can’t loosen up once in awhile.
Virgo
Adores: Taurus
You vibe best with others who are grounded and dedicated. Your connection with Taurus stands out because your slight differences truly do being out the best in each other. Taurus signs have an eye for things that are aesthetic and know how to bring things together- you know how to find the practical, put together options life has to offer. Taurus teaches you to be a little easier on yourself and encourages you- but not in a superficial way that you see through, but in a genuine, direct way you can appreciate. You also help Taurus not to settle and do more, and while they might get anxious changing things up, you know how to help someone improve within structure and routine. You’re unstoppable when you’re together.
Can’t Stand: Leo
Try as you might, Leos just aren’t ones you work well with. You can appreciate their confidence, but within a short time you tend to view them as flashy and arrogant. They desire attention in a way that you just can’t fathom, and they expect validation when they achieve something. You tend to be critical of yourself and others because you believe things can always be improved, which annoys Leos to no end.
Every zodiac sign’s definition of a soulmate: air sign edition 🍃 pic.twitter.com/IbX2Efa2fp — Astrology Catalog (@CatalogAstro) October 19, 2022
Libra
Adores: Gemini
You can’t help but be drawn to Geminis- both of you have so much to talk about! You are both social and love to discuss things at length, and given your vast amount of interests, it’s hard to run out of things to say. You like people who are interesting and a little dramatic, because you like establishing harmony. Geminis are always open to hearing other points of view, even if it’s just to debate them. You like to understand where people are coming from so that you can get to know them more. You help Geminis get along better with those who might make assumptions about them, and Geminis help you care a little less on what others think about you. You’re a pretty great team.
Can’t Stand: Aries
Aries means well, but they tend to be a lot. With their “i don’t care” attitude that doesn’t seem to hold much reason, you don’t vibe well. While you appreciate Aries encouraging support, it just comes off as aggressive and overwhelming to you. They are spontaneous, and they definitely aren’t afraid of grand gestures- which you genuinely love- yet Aries temper can be a bit uncontrollable, and your sensitive spirit has a hard time dealing with their bluntness. While you believe in hearing everyone out and focusing on keeping the peace, Aries is often ready to blow up the situation regardless of how others feel. You have a hard time speaking your mind, and Aries is a bit of a bulldozer. You really want to like them, but they’re just too harsh for you.
Scorpio
Adores: Cancer
You’re deeply invested in others emotionally, you love to get to know people on a deeper level, and you are as loyal as they come. Cancers are nurturing, emotionally expressive, and goes out of their way to make others feel at home. You both just get each other in ways others don’t. You both are unafraid of expressing how you feel, and you desire long-term intimate connections that withstand anything. It’s hard to find another person who is as devoted and intense as you are, but Cancers fit the bill.
Can’t Stand: Gemini
Geminis can seem intriguing to you at first, but it’s often short lived. While you both can play the unattached, mysterious game, that is not what you want in reality. Geminis are interested in so many possibilities and people, and you want someone’s undivided attention. Geminis think you’re overwhelming, and you think they are flaky. They want to keep their options open, and you have a hard time trusting anyone who won’t commit to you 100%. Even as friends, you want to be able to open up and show them the heavy, darker parts of yourself, and Gemini’s just aren’t ones who want to handle that weight. It’s hard to really understand each other, even when you want to.
Sagittarius
Adores: Aries
You’re adventurous, optimistic, and always ready to have a great time. Aries are passionate, honest, and always on the move. You have a great deal of respect for Aries, likely because you share quite a few similarities. You’re both exceptionally blunt and don’t see the point in dishonesty. You both tend to leap into action over dwelling on a situation. You both are always supportive and encouraging, which the other appreciates deeply. Aries can be a bit more temperamental than you at times, but you know how to communicate with them to cause disagreements to blow over. Aries also appreciate the vast amount of knowledge and intellect you hold, because they can learn from you without it feeling condescending.
Can’t Stand: Taurus
You’re always searching for growth and expansion, refusing to leave any stone left unturned. Taurus signs have created their own world and don’t have any desire to leave it. You’re flexible and open to anything, Taurus are stubborn and know exactly what they want- and they won’t settle for anything else. While you are both honest, you also don’t have the best tact when expressing your opinions, and it’s hard to keep things easy going between the two of you. You don’t understand Taurus rigidness, and they don’t get your lack of commitment to one place or person.
Capricorn
Adores: Pisces
While it’s no secret that you like earth signs, you have a real soft spot for Pisces. You’re grounded, dedicated, and have a strong work ethic. Pisces are empathetic, intuitive, and love deeply. While you may seem fairly different on the outside, Pisces brings out a side of you that you really want to uncover, you just don’t know how. Pisces uncover the softer, more romantic, silly side of you that is hard for you to show other people. They understand you without trying, and you love them for that. Pisces appreciate your grounded nature, and how you help them take their big dreams and passions and make them feel more tangible. You actually show them how to care about their own problems instead of everyone else’s. You bring out the best in each other.
Can’t Stand: Gemini
You believe that tradition and structure truly help people thrive, and you don’t feel the need to find a new way to do something if the current method is working properly. Geminis are always picking things apart and pushing to try something unconventional. You both just see the world too differently, and it’s hard to find something in common. Geminis are people oriented, and you prefer to keep to yourself. You believe in sticking to something until it’s finished, and Gemini’s lack of follow through gets under your skin. You see so much potential in them and it bothers you that they don’t seem to care. They see you as stuck in your ways and close-minded.
Aquarius
Adores: Gemini
You love exploring new topics through discussion, and you’re always interested in having your mind expanded. Geminis are the perfect person for you to do this with, and you can’t help but love them for it. They love your thorough dedication to understanding a topic and how you love the unconventional. You love their constant change of interests that keep things interesting. While they can seem a bit flaky at times, this doesn’t bother you much because you spend long periods of time alone and value your independence. You both just vibe well together.
Can’t Stand: Cancer
Cancers are emotionally intense, commitment focused, and prefer to stay at home. You’re independent, open-minded, and want to explore and better the world around you. You understand where Cancers are coming from with their love, but you just don’t feel comfortable with the amount of affection they give, and how much they want in return. Cancers prefer you to focus on the two of you and how to improve your relationship, but you feel a pull to focus on the outside world and how to improve it instead. You don’t want to be tied down, and Cancers aren’t subtle about the amount of commitment they want. You just don’t have the same interests or desires.
Pisces
Adores: Capricorn
Truthfully, you love so many different types of people, it’s hard to choose. Yet a surprising sign you adore is Capricorns. While to others they seem rigid and pessimistic, you can sense that there is more to them than what meets the eye. You’re like their grounded presence and how dedicated they are to their loved ones. They appreciate your empathy and desire to take care of people. You both seem so different on the outside, but you are drawn to each other without trying, and you bring out the best in each other.
Can’t Stand: Virgo
However, some earth signs just don’t work well with you- Virgo in particular. You prefer to sit with how you feel emotionally before you can make a decision, where Virgos lean into the more practical options- despite how they feel. You are sensitive and like to avoid conflict when you can. Virgos are critical and can be harsh at times. Despite your best efforts, you just can’t fathom how Virgos can be so detached and unwavering, where Virgos believe you’re too emotional and indecisive. You do your best to get them to open up, but they refuse to let you in. Overall, it’s just hard to really resonate with each other.


thoughtcatalog--2020-09-24--Even If I Knew How Things Were Going To End Between Us, I Would Still Choose You

I wish I wouldn ’ t have been so afraid to just talk to you .
Maybe if I would have told you that the short time I spent with you was worth more to me than all of the years I spent with him , you would still be here .
Maybe if I would have set boundaries , I would not have lost the only romantic relationship that has ever really meant something to me .
Maybe if I would have just let you go without the anger and the resentment , I would still have one of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ would have just been honest , things wouldn ’ t have gotten so messy .
Maybe I wouldn ’ t be writing the same words over and over and over again , just to try to find the reason why .
Maybe if I would just accept that sometimes , we will never find our answer , I could finally move on .
Maybe if I would have just told you sooner , I wouldn ’ t have to move on .
Maybe everything would be different .
Or maybe it would all @ @ @ @ @ @ @ would have gotten on that plane .
You still would have met that girl .
And I still would have been me and not her , and there was never anything I could have ever done to change that .
Maybe I just need to accept the fact that sometimes who and what we want changes .
Maybe the distance is just too much between the two of you or your dreams in life have become too different .
Or maybe one day , you look into their eyes and you just know @ @ @ @ @ @ @ have looked at someone else with the same love they used to see in you .
You just know that there are secrets behind them that you will never know , and maybe it is better that way .
Maybe it is better not to know why you were no longer enough .
Or that you were never enough in the first place .
Maybe I do not need to know if you ever think of me or if I am just another page in your story .
Maybe I am just another @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be forgotten .
Maybe I never should have known the truth .
Or maybe I should have just accepted the fact that the truth was always there between us .
We both knew from the beginning that what we had would have to end .
We had already gotten our second chance .
I don ’ t know why I am still sitting here so hopeful for the third .
We both knew that what we had was different .
We both decided that what we had was worth the pain of knowing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ both took a chance , and we both got hurt .
And still , I think that it was worth it .
Even if I knew how things were going to end between us , I would still choose you .
I would still choose you knowing that in just a few short months , you would choose to leave my life forever .
And that I would have to live with that choice forever .
That is what you meant to me .
You taught me both the beauty and the pain @ @ @ @ @ @ @ showed me just how beautiful the world could be if you just opened up to it .
You made me feel loved in a way that I had never experienced before .
With you , I felt beautiful .
With you , I did not have to question if you cared because I always knew that you did .
I will never forget the way we looked at each other underneath the stairs at the train station .
I will never forget the way I felt as the train pulled away , and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be the same again .
I just knew that who we were in that moment was something we would never be able to get back .
I knew that I was watching the beginning of the end .
And there was nothing I could do to stop it .
You were moving on with your life and chasing your career , while I stayed behind in the city that would never quite be your home .
I knew that I would never be able to be your home .
I wanted so badly @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
I had naively assumed that we would stay friends and that things between us would remain the same .
If there is one thing that my time with you taught me , it was that things never remained the same .
From the day you crashed into my world to the day you so silently walked away , you showed me how much things can change in an instant .
Sometimes these changes are everything you could have ever wanted in life , while other times , they are your worst nightmares @ @ @ @ @ @ @ all good or all bad .
Changes will come into your life , whether or not you are ready or willing to receive them .
I will always be so glad that I took a chance on you .
From you , I learned that sometimes the best things in life really do come when you least expect them , and that sometimes , the things we least expect are unfortunately the things that come true .
I don ’ t know what you are doing now , but I hope that you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fulfilled and doing all of the things that you have always wanted to do .
I hope that you didn ’ t lose your passion for music and the arts .
I hope you get to travel to all of the places you still want to see .
And I hope that one day , someone loves you as deeply and as wholly as you deserve .
( I know that this is what we both deserve . )
And even if our paths never cross again , know that you will always @ @ @ @ @ @ @

I wish I wouldn’t have been so afraid to just talk to you.
Maybe if I would have told you that the short time I spent with you was worth more to me than all of the years I spent with him, you would still be here. Maybe if I would have set boundaries, I would not have lost the only romantic relationship that has ever really meant something to me. Maybe if I would have just let you go without the anger and the resentment, I would still have one of my closest friends. Maybe if I would have just been honest, things wouldn’t have gotten so messy.
Maybe I wouldn’t be writing the same words over and over and over again, just to try to find the reason why. Maybe if I would just accept that sometimes, we will never find our answer, I could finally move on. Maybe if I would have just told you sooner, I wouldn’t have to move on. Maybe everything would be different.
Or maybe it would all be exactly the same.
You still would have gotten on that plane. You still would have met that girl. And I still would have been me and not her, and there was never anything I could have ever done to change that. Maybe I just need to accept the fact that sometimes who and what we want changes.
Maybe the distance is just too much between the two of you or your dreams in life have become too different. Or maybe one day, you look into their eyes and you just know. You just know that those eyes have looked at someone else with the same love they used to see in you. You just know that there are secrets behind them that you will never know, and maybe it is better that way. Maybe it is better not to know why you were no longer enough. Or that you were never enough in the first place. Maybe I do not need to know if you ever think of me or if I am just another page in your story. Maybe I am just another moment in time that will one day be forgotten.
Maybe I never should have known the truth. Or maybe I should have just accepted the fact that the truth was always there between us. We both knew from the beginning that what we had would have to end. We had already gotten our second chance. I don’t know why I am still sitting here so hopeful for the third.
We both knew that what we had was different. We both decided that what we had was worth the pain of knowing it could never be permanent. We both took a chance, and we both got hurt. And still, I think that it was worth it.
Even if I knew how things were going to end between us, I would still choose you. I would still choose you knowing that in just a few short months, you would choose to leave my life forever. And that I would have to live with that choice forever. That is what you meant to me.
You taught me both the beauty and the pain of living in the moment. You showed me just how beautiful the world could be if you just opened up to it. You made me feel loved in a way that I had never experienced before. With you, I felt beautiful. With you, I did not have to question if you cared because I always knew that you did.
I will never forget the way we looked at each other underneath the stairs at the train station. I will never forget the way I felt as the train pulled away, and I just knew that things would never be the same again. I just knew that who we were in that moment was something we would never be able to get back. I knew that I was watching the beginning of the end. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.
You were moving on with your life and chasing your career, while I stayed behind in the city that would never quite be your home. I knew that I would never be able to be your home.
I wanted so badly for things to end well this time. I had naively assumed that we would stay friends and that things between us would remain the same. If there is one thing that my time with you taught me, it was that things never remained the same.
From the day you crashed into my world to the day you so silently walked away, you showed me how much things can change in an instant. Sometimes these changes are everything you could have ever wanted in life, while other times, they are your worst nightmares come true. Life will never be all good or all bad. Changes will come into your life, whether or not you are ready or willing to receive them.
I will always be so glad that I took a chance on you. From you, I learned that sometimes the best things in life really do come when you least expect them, and that sometimes, the things we least expect are unfortunately the things that come true.
I don’t know what you are doing now, but I hope that you are happy. I hope you are fulfilled and doing all of the things that you have always wanted to do. I hope that you didn’t lose your passion for music and the arts. I hope you get to travel to all of the places you still want to see. And I hope that one day, someone loves you as deeply and as wholly as you deserve. (I know that this is what we both deserve.)
And even if our paths never cross again, know that you will always have a home here in Chicago.


thoughtcatalog--2020-09-25--Here’s What Each Zodiac Sign Can Expect When Saturn Goes Direct

Saturn goes direct on September 29th , 2020 and we can all breathe a little better knowing that one of the astro planetary giants is finally moving on .
We have been on a ride with Saturn in Capricorn since 2017 , learning a lot about ourselves and our relationship with authority .
We continue to experience the impact of government with these Saturn and Pluto transits .
Where we are now is not the same place we were several years ago .
This has been a transit of maturity of growth and pain .
Many people saw the world @ @ @ @ @ @ @ glasses were shattered .
The horrors were outlined for us , but we have also learned to see some hope in the darkest of hours .
Saturn in Capricorn has exposed the changes that need to be made on a societal and political level .
This has been a powerhouse transit , moving and reshaping us from the core and reflecting in our environment .
The collective has felt Saturn in Capricorn , but we know that together , we can all hope for greater change in the future after learning the lessons @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Here ’ s to growth for the years to come and hope for a better tomorrow .
Saturn has placed you in a position where you can either sink or fly .
If you have worked and powered through the last couple of years with the fire and drive of not giving up , congratulations !
Saturn direct means you can continue to go forward without feeling blockages when it comes to your career .
However , with your ruler currently retrograde , it is still not smooth sailing .
Consider this @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and feel the momentum building until dreams start to take off in November .
This transit will have you sticking to your convictions without second guessing yourself .
Saturn direct powers you through the next phase , which will have you more focused on status and achievements .
You are very much in a contemplative state , analyzing your past achievements and failures , but the good thing is you are learning from them .
Get ready to feel more empowered as we approach the end of the year .
You have been @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for the last 2.5 years , but now you are slowly feeling the weight being lifted from your shoulders .
That sense of optimism will begin to peek through with Saturn finally going direct and exiting Capricorn at the end of the year .
Use what you have learned during this transit that has shaped who you are and where you will be headed .
You are not the same person from 2017 ; instead , you have grown and matured .
The road has been tough , but you will see how @ @ @ @ @ @ @ direct means you will finally be able to see the truth behind your relationships .
No longer will you feel like you are mirroring partners , because now you have grown to learn more about yourself and what you seek in someone else .
This Saturn transit has been rough but empowering .
There is more motivation to get the achievement you desire and the recognition from your peers .
You are learning to embrace the limelight and to allow yourself to shine .
No more hiding your glow since you have so @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
You have given it your all during this Saturn transit since 2017 .
There have been a lot of obstacles for you to overcome , but Saturn has taught you a lot about being diligent and patient .
You have learned that even if you give it your all , you are still going to face challenges , and the outcome will not be what you originally planned .
You ’ ve excelled at coordinating , fought and learned to understand your limits while refusing to back down or give up .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ are rekindling with your fire energy , thanks to the trine your sign is making to Mars .
You can see the finish line and are awaiting your victory .
The state of your romantic life is probably not the same as it was 2.5 years ago .
Saturn might have brought about a person who turned your world upside down , but the experience , although tough , was a learning lesson for you .
For those who are single , this transit made a change in your social circles .
During @ @ @ @ @ @ @ reminisced and learned about the changes you need to make for romances .
Your dynamics with others will also change moving forward .
Saturn direct will have you focused on rebuilding and restructuring how you view yourself and your ideology .
This was one of the tougher transits for you , and it makes sense why you will not miss seeing Saturn in Capricorn .
The retrograde period brought you back to your roots and the emotional experiences you might have felt with partners .
This Mars retrograde might also have brought back @ @ @ @ @ @ @ learn to cope with to move forward .
Mars and Saturn are making you move from the tough waves that life brings you and the unexpected changes .
Your identity has changed because you might feel more empowered and mature , given the position you have been put in .
It is possible you were thrown into a leadership role at work or school or even made some tough decisions at home .
Saturn showed you what you were capable of and how independent you can be .
This is a rough transit @ @ @ @ @ @ @ some emotional wounds you might have at home or with friendships .
Saturn retrograde taught you that to interact with people , you need to listen and be patient .
Being explosive during this transit over the last several years has led you nowhere .
To avoid drama and fights , you needed to truly listen and change some mannerisms .
You have developed a sense of courage , especially in the workplace or school .
With this planet finally going direct , you know your strengths , how good you can articulate @ @ @ @ @ @ @ situations with different groups of people .
This Saturn transit has felt like a redo of Saturn in your sign .
You continued to face similar challenges with identity and truly learning the meaning of independence .
Saturn in Capricorn taught you to be more open to accepting and forgiving yourself , and this is what you are working on now that the planet is direct .
The boost from Mars will allow you to burn through the emotions as you continue to reshape your thoughts and philosophy during this process .
Get @ @ @ @ @ @ @ can feel the cashflow begin to change and the optimism growing since Jupiter , your ruler , is also direct .
Who am I ?
This is the question you probably repeated to yourself several times during this transit .
Saturn retrograde had you pouring through different situations as you tried to maintain stability in your life while the chaos ensued .
You are the fighter , with Pluto , Jupiter , and Saturn currently in your sign .
The pressures and responsibilities piled but you managed to keep your cool ( sort @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Jupiter doing direct , you can once again plan and see the road ahead with clearer eyes and a smile .
You will feel renewed as Saturn stays for the next few months before finally exiting your sign .
With Saturn direct here , you feel some of your pressures melting off as you come to peace with your subconscious .
The issues now with Saturn will involve your own maturity , but that all begins to manifest when Saturn enters the sign of Aquarius .
This is a period where you will @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with others and will discover your own inner voice .
Many will be open to listening to what you have to say .
Your experiences can serve as a healing experience as well .
Saturn has taught you how to heal , grow , and motivate others .
You will wake up from the cloudiness Saturn presented and will take on the world , inspired .
The pressure is off , and now you can once again feel like others have your back .
Saturn direct will have you remembering the pain or @ @ @ @ @ @ @ There might have been close friendships that have ended , but you made new ones .
This path has not been an easy one for you , and Saturn in Aquarius will present some of the similar themes from this transit .
You are learning to become more independent and self-reliant .
However , you will also learn to seek help from others if you are in need , because certain situations can be hard for us and we will need the support system from others .

Saturn goes direct on September 29th, 2020 and we can all breathe a little better knowing that one of the astro planetary giants is finally moving on. We have been on a ride with Saturn in Capricorn since 2017, learning a lot about ourselves and our relationship with authority. We continue to experience the impact of government with these Saturn and Pluto transits. Where we are now is not the same place we were several years ago. This has been a transit of maturity of growth and pain. Many people saw the world with new eyes, and our rose-colored glasses were shattered. The horrors were outlined for us, but we have also learned to see some hope in the darkest of hours. Saturn in Capricorn has exposed the changes that need to be made on a societal and political level. This has been a powerhouse transit, moving and reshaping us from the core and reflecting in our environment. The collective has felt Saturn in Capricorn, but we know that together, we can all hope for greater change in the future after learning the lessons and facing the consequences from this transit. Here’s to growth for the years to come and hope for a better tomorrow.
Aries
Saturn has placed you in a position where you can either sink or fly. If you have worked and powered through the last couple of years with the fire and drive of not giving up, congratulations! Saturn direct means you can continue to go forward without feeling blockages when it comes to your career. However, with your ruler currently retrograde, it is still not smooth sailing. Consider this a time to get your plans going and feel the momentum building until dreams start to take off in November.
Taurus
This transit will have you sticking to your convictions without second guessing yourself. Saturn direct powers you through the next phase, which will have you more focused on status and achievements. You are very much in a contemplative state, analyzing your past achievements and failures, but the good thing is you are learning from them. Get ready to feel more empowered as we approach the end of the year.
Gemini
You have been going through one of the harshest transits for the last 2.5 years, but now you are slowly feeling the weight being lifted from your shoulders. That sense of optimism will begin to peek through with Saturn finally going direct and exiting Capricorn at the end of the year. Use what you have learned during this transit that has shaped who you are and where you will be headed. You are not the same person from 2017; instead, you have grown and matured. The road has been tough, but you will see how the journey was worth it.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
Cancer
Saturn direct means you will finally be able to see the truth behind your relationships. No longer will you feel like you are mirroring partners, because now you have grown to learn more about yourself and what you seek in someone else. This Saturn transit has been rough but empowering. There is more motivation to get the achievement you desire and the recognition from your peers. You are learning to embrace the limelight and to allow yourself to shine. No more hiding your glow since you have so much more to offer to the world.
Leo
You have given it your all during this Saturn transit since 2017. There have been a lot of obstacles for you to overcome, but Saturn has taught you a lot about being diligent and patient. You have learned that even if you give it your all, you are still going to face challenges, and the outcome will not be what you originally planned. You’ve excelled at coordinating, fought and learned to understand your limits while refusing to back down or give up. During the next several months, you are rekindling with your fire energy, thanks to the trine your sign is making to Mars. You can see the finish line and are awaiting your victory.
Virgo
The state of your romantic life is probably not the same as it was 2.5 years ago. Saturn might have brought about a person who turned your world upside down, but the experience, although tough, was a learning lesson for you. For those who are single, this transit made a change in your social circles. During the retrograde, it was possible you reminisced and learned about the changes you need to make for romances. Your dynamics with others will also change moving forward. Saturn direct will have you focused on rebuilding and restructuring how you view yourself and your ideology.
Libra
This was one of the tougher transits for you, and it makes sense why you will not miss seeing Saturn in Capricorn. The retrograde period brought you back to your roots and the emotional experiences you might have felt with partners. This Mars retrograde might also have brought back some painful memories that you need to learn to cope with to move forward. Mars and Saturn are making you move from the tough waves that life brings you and the unexpected changes. Your identity has changed because you might feel more empowered and mature, given the position you have been put in. It is possible you were thrown into a leadership role at work or school or even made some tough decisions at home. Saturn showed you what you were capable of and how independent you can be.
Scorpio
This is a rough transit to have, because it can open some emotional wounds you might have at home or with friendships. Saturn retrograde taught you that to interact with people, you need to listen and be patient. Being explosive during this transit over the last several years has led you nowhere. To avoid drama and fights, you needed to truly listen and change some mannerisms. You have developed a sense of courage, especially in the workplace or school. With this planet finally going direct, you know your strengths, how good you can articulate your thoughts, and how to manage situations with different groups of people.
Sagittarius
This Saturn transit has felt like a redo of Saturn in your sign. You continued to face similar challenges with identity and truly learning the meaning of independence. Saturn in Capricorn taught you to be more open to accepting and forgiving yourself, and this is what you are working on now that the planet is direct. The boost from Mars will allow you to burn through the emotions as you continue to reshape your thoughts and philosophy during this process. Get ready for some excitement, as you can feel the cashflow begin to change and the optimism growing since Jupiter, your ruler, is also direct.
Capricorn
Who am I? This is the question you probably repeated to yourself several times during this transit. Saturn retrograde had you pouring through different situations as you tried to maintain stability in your life while the chaos ensued. You are the fighter, with Pluto, Jupiter, and Saturn currently in your sign. The pressures and responsibilities piled but you managed to keep your cool (sort of). Now with Saturn and Jupiter doing direct, you can once again plan and see the road ahead with clearer eyes and a smile. You will feel renewed as Saturn stays for the next few months before finally exiting your sign.
Aquarius
With Saturn direct here, you feel some of your pressures melting off as you come to peace with your subconscious. The issues now with Saturn will involve your own maturity, but that all begins to manifest when Saturn enters the sign of Aquarius. This is a period where you will be mentally stimulated, driven to connect with others and will discover your own inner voice. Many will be open to listening to what you have to say. Your experiences can serve as a healing experience as well. Saturn has taught you how to heal, grow, and motivate others. You will wake up from the cloudiness Saturn presented and will take on the world, inspired.
Pisces
The pressure is off, and now you can once again feel like others have your back. Saturn direct will have you remembering the pain or excitement you felt during this transit. There might have been close friendships that have ended, but you made new ones. This path has not been an easy one for you, and Saturn in Aquarius will present some of the similar themes from this transit. You are learning to become more independent and self-reliant. However, you will also learn to seek help from others if you are in need, because certain situations can be hard for us and we will need the support system from others.


thoughtcatalog--2020-09-25--The Month My Sister Died

The Month My Sister Died

September is suicide awareness month .
And for the past three years , I have been wondering if that ’ s ironic or fitting .
For the past three years , it ’ s been the darkest month of all .
We ’ ve been shells of ourselves for the past three years , but my mother goes especially pale every September , my father especially quiet .
And me ?
Especially drunk .
On a Monday , my sister collapsed under the weight of her world .
We all hate Mondays , but wasn ’ t that a little @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ; I do it anyway .
On a Monday , she swallowed two bottles of over the counter pills and anything else she could find in her mirrored cabinet above the sink .
I think most of it was leftovers from when her roommate had that skiing accent .
We get especially drunk together every September .
We both blame ourselves ; we ’ re both angry at her .
The guilt of that is almost worse than the guilt of the blame we both carry .
The pills were my sister ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ calls that weren ’ t picked up were all for me .
I was at some club with some guy .
I was a freshman in college , being free , living life , partying it up .
My sister used to say that the first semester is all about being free , the second about getting serious , and the other three years are for winging it , seeing how you feel on every first day of every new semester .
I hate all the advice she has given me .
I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a stubborn kid , doing the opposite of it all .
How dare she give me advice and then not be there to watch over me following it ?
How dare she miss the chances to say “ I told you so ” when I mess up in the exact ways she warned me about ?
How dare she just leave ?
They say that anger is a stage of grief .
Step three or four , I am not sure , but it ’ s one of the five .
For the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ been cycling through them , month by month , sometimes day by day .
In September , it feels like minute by minute .
I am not a psychologist , but I swear there are more than five .
In school , I learned how to calculate a hypotenuse , how to spell , and how to write in pretty cursive .
My sister always used to tell me how awful I was at it .
Her words were the pretty , swirly ones ; mine scribbled in , trying to keep up @ @ @ @ @ @ @ school , four years of college , hundreds of hours spent in classrooms , and another couple hundred hunched over my desk .
But you know what they forgot to teach us , forgot to teach me ?
They forgot to tell us how to speak about the ones who left you .
Not the ones who had no choice because cancer or an accident took them .
But the ones who left you , knowing they were leaving you , knowing the pain you ’ d feel and carry .
The selfish @ @ @ @ @ @ @ You know what else everyone forgot to teach me ?
How to not think that way .
I heard and learned about and accepted that depression is an illness , that suicide is a permanent solution to a so-called temporary problem , that it is the end of a disease .
I knew that ; I believed that .
And then my sister died .
And now it ’ s September again and I ’ m at the bottom of another bottle , feeling helpless .
I ’ ve done the crying , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ bargaining .
What now ?
Acceptance , yes , I know , that ’ s the next step .
Everyone keeps telling me that .
Everyone keeps telling me that it will get easier eventually , that I won ’ t always feel that way .
But it seems so hard to believe .
I can ’ t imagine a September when I ’ ll smile and laugh and feel joy again .
I hate September , I really do ; I ’ m upset and cross with the world and her and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
And I hate that about myself ; the anger she can ’ t defend herself against , the anger I know isn ’ t fair .
So in September , sometimes I hate my sister too .
But what I hate just as much , what scares me even more , is that I understand .
During September , I understand .
My sister hated herself too .

Trigger warning: suicide
September is suicide awareness month. And for the past three years, I have been wondering if that’s ironic or fitting. For the past three years, it’s been the darkest month of all. We’ve been shells of ourselves for the past three years, but my mother goes especially pale every September, my father especially quiet. And me? Especially drunk.
On a Monday, my sister collapsed under the weight of her world. We all hate Mondays, but wasn’t that a little much? I hate thinking like that; I do it anyway. On a Monday, she swallowed two bottles of over the counter pills and anything else she could find in her mirrored cabinet above the sink. I think most of it was leftovers from when her roommate had that skiing accent. We get especially drunk together every September. We both blame ourselves; we’re both angry at her. The guilt of that is almost worse than the guilt of the blame we both carry.
The pills were my sister’s roommate’s, but the calls that weren’t picked up were all for me. I was at some club with some guy. I was a freshman in college, being free, living life, partying it up. My sister used to say that the first semester is all about being free, the second about getting serious, and the other three years are for winging it, seeing how you feel on every first day of every new semester.
I hate all the advice she has given me. I admit, sometimes I’m like a stubborn kid, doing the opposite of it all. How dare she give me advice and then not be there to watch over me following it? How dare she miss the chances to say “I told you so” when I mess up in the exact ways she warned me about? How dare she just leave?
They say that anger is a stage of grief. Step three or four, I am not sure, but it’s one of the five. For the past three years, I’ve been cycling through them, month by month, sometimes day by day. In September, it feels like minute by minute. I am not a psychologist, but I swear there are more than five.
In school, I learned how to calculate a hypotenuse, how to spell, and how to write in pretty cursive. My sister always used to tell me how awful I was at it. Her words were the pretty, swirly ones; mine scribbled in, trying to keep up with my mind. Twelve years of school, four years of college, hundreds of hours spent in classrooms, and another couple hundred hunched over my desk. But you know what they forgot to teach us, forgot to teach me? They forgot to tell us how to speak about the ones who left you. Not the ones who had no choice because cancer or an accident took them. But the ones who left you, knowing they were leaving you, knowing the pain you’d feel and carry. The selfish ones who chose to hurt you.
You know what else everyone forgot to teach me? How to not think that way. I heard and learned about and accepted that depression is an illness, that suicide is a permanent solution to a so-called temporary problem, that it is the end of a disease. I knew that; I believed that. And then my sister died.
And now it’s September again and I’m at the bottom of another bottle, feeling helpless. I’ve done the crying, the begging, the yelling, the bargaining. What now? Acceptance, yes, I know, that’s the next step. Everyone keeps telling me that. Everyone keeps telling me that it will get easier eventually, that I won’t always feel that way. But it seems so hard to believe. I can’t imagine a September when I’ll smile and laugh and feel joy again.
I hate September, I really do; I’m upset and cross with the world and her and myself and everyone and everything in between. And I hate that about myself; the anger she can’t defend herself against, the anger I know isn’t fair. So in September, sometimes I hate my sister too. But what I hate just as much, what scares me even more, is that I understand. During September, I understand. My sister hated herself too.


thoughtcatalog--2020-09-28--Why Each Zodiac Is ‘Just Friends’ With Their Crush

You ’ re scared to settle down with someone you like this much .
You ’ re scared of getting your heart broken .
You ’ re scared of ruining the friendship .
You ’ re scared you ’ ll break up and things will never be the same between you .
You ’ re scared they don ’ t feel the same way .
You ’ re scared you ’ ve been reading all their signals wrong .
You ’ re scared you work better as friends .
You ’ re scared kissing them wouldn ’ t feel right @ @ @ @ @ @ @ are stronger than theirs .
You ’ re scared they ’ ll say yes to dating you , simply because they don ’ t want to hurt your feelings .
You ’ re scared of taking a risk by asking them out .
You ’ re scared the date won ’ t go as well as it always does in your head .
You ’ re scared they see you as a sister .
You ’ re scared they aren ’ t interested in taking things further with you .
You ’ re @ @ @ @ @ @ @ attached to them .
You ’ re scared you couldn ’ t handle losing them .
You ’ re scared they ’ re still hung up on someone else .
You ’ re scared you can ’ t compare .
You ’ re scared you ’ re going to hurt them .
You ’ re scared you ’ re going to break their heart .
You ’ re scared you ’ re confusing friendship with lust .
You ’ re scared getting together with them is a bad idea .
You ’ re @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you down because they know you too well .
They know all your bad habits and flaws .

You’re scared to settle down with someone you like this much. You’re scared of getting your heart broken.
You’re scared of ruining the friendship. You’re scared you’ll break up and things will never be the same between you.
You’re scared they don’t feel the same way. You’re scared you’ve been reading all their signals wrong.
You’re scared you work better as friends. You’re scared kissing them wouldn’t feel right.
You’re scared your feelings are stronger than theirs. You’re scared they’ll say yes to dating you, simply because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.
You’re scared of taking a risk by asking them out. You’re scared the date won’t go as well as it always does in your head.
You’re scared they see you as a sister. You’re scared they aren’t interested in taking things further with you.
You’re scared you’re already getting too attached to them. You’re scared you couldn’t handle losing them.
You’re scared they’re still hung up on someone else. You’re scared you can’t compare.
You’re scared you’re going to hurt them. You’re scared you’re going to break their heart.
You’re scared you’re confusing friendship with lust. You’re scared getting together with them is a bad idea.
You’re scared they’re going to turn you down because they know you too well. They know all your bad habits and flaws.


thoughtcatalog--2020-09-28--9 Signs You’re Sleeping With The Wrong Person

1 .
You avoid having sex with them .
You make excuses to skip sex whenever possible .
You lie about having a stomachache , a headache , a backache , a fever .
You tell them you ’ re too tired because you didn ’ t get enough sleep or too exhausted from work .
You will say anything to get out of sleeping with them because you are never in the mood .
2 .
You feel like there are better ways to spend your time .
During sex , you aren ’ t actually living in the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ re counting down the minutes until it ’ s over .
You ’ re thinking of all the other things you need to do once you climb out from underneath the covers .
You ’ re hoping the act gets finished as soon as possible so you can move on with the rest of your day .
3 .
You rarely finish .
Your person shouldn ’ t be the only one who orgasms .
You should be getting just as much pleasure out of sex as they are getting .
You should @ @ @ @ @ @ @ they ’ re the only one benefiting from sleeping with you , then you either need to have a serious conversation with them about your expectations — or you need to start sleeping with someone else .
4 .
You fake orgasms .
You shouldn ’ t have to lie about your orgasms .
The right person will learn how to make you finish .
And they ’ ll also understand if you ’ re not in the mood to keep going .
You shouldn ’ t have to lie to them about @ @ @ @ @ @ @ pressured to play pretend in order to get sex over with already .
5 .
You would rather touch yourself than be touched by them .
If you overwhelmingly prefer your alone time to your time with your partner , then something is wrong .
Something is missing .
You shouldn ’ t be more excited about the chance to touch yourself than be touched by them .
6 .
You don ’ t have any passion whatsoever .
You don ’ t moan .
You don ’ t move .
You don @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , so your heart isn ’ t in what you ’ re doing .
There ’ s absolutely zero passion .
7 .
You ’ re thinking about someone else during the act .
You ’ re not concentrating on the person in front of you .
You ’ re not enjoying the feeling of their body pressed against yours .
Your mind is focused on an ex or a celebrity or an old flame .
Or maybe you ’ re not thinking about another person at all , but your mind is @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
You ’ re only having sex in order to make your partner happy .
You ’ re not actually interested in having sex with them .
The only reason you ’ re getting naked is because it ’ s what your partner wants from you .
You want to make them happy .
You want to make them moan .
But if it were up to you , then sex wouldn ’ t be on the table .
9 .
You ’ re not having a great time .
There doesn ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your partner .
They don ’ t have to have any glaring red flags .
If you don ’ t want to sleep with them , then don ’ t sleep with them .
It ’ s your body and you ’ re in charge .

1. You avoid having sex with them. You make excuses to skip sex whenever possible. You lie about having a stomachache, a headache, a backache, a fever. You tell them you’re too tired because you didn’t get enough sleep or too exhausted from work. You will say anything to get out of sleeping with them because you are never in the mood.
2. You feel like there are better ways to spend your time. During sex, you aren’t actually living in the moment and enjoying yourself. You’re counting down the minutes until it’s over. You’re thinking of all the other things you need to do once you climb out from underneath the covers. You’re hoping the act gets finished as soon as possible so you can move on with the rest of your day.
3. You rarely finish. Your person shouldn’t be the only one who orgasms. You should be getting just as much pleasure out of sex as they are getting. You should be in the same boat. If they’re the only one benefiting from sleeping with you, then you either need to have a serious conversation with them about your expectations — or you need to start sleeping with someone else.
4. You fake orgasms. You shouldn’t have to lie about your orgasms. The right person will learn how to make you finish. And they’ll also understand if you’re not in the mood to keep going. You shouldn’t have to lie to them about it. You shouldn’t feel pressured to play pretend in order to get sex over with already.
5. You would rather touch yourself than be touched by them. If you overwhelmingly prefer your alone time to your time with your partner, then something is wrong. Something is missing. You shouldn’t be more excited about the chance to touch yourself than be touched by them.
6. You don’t have any passion whatsoever. You don’t moan. You don’t move. You don’t really want to be there, so your heart isn’t in what you’re doing. There’s absolutely zero passion.
7. You’re thinking about someone else during the act. You’re not concentrating on the person in front of you. You’re not enjoying the feeling of their body pressed against yours. Your mind is focused on an ex or a celebrity or an old flame. Or maybe you’re not thinking about another person at all, but your mind is still far, far away.
8. You’re only having sex in order to make your partner happy. You’re not actually interested in having sex with them. The only reason you’re getting naked is because it’s what your partner wants from you. You want to make them happy. You want to make them moan. But if it were up to you, then sex wouldn’t be on the table.
9. You’re not having a great time. There doesn’t have to be anything wrong with your partner. They don’t have to have any glaring red flags. If you don’t want to sleep with them, then don’t sleep with them. It’s your body and you’re in charge.


thoughtcatalog--2020-09-28--5 Things I Learned From Getting Engaged To My Forever Person

1 .
The performance you play on social media isn ’ t as important as day-to-day life .
You can look like the perfect couple on Instagram .
You can post a million cute selfies and write statuses about how much you love and support each other .
But it ’ s better to tell each other how much you care than to tell the world how much you care .
There ’ s nothing wrong with posting about your love online , but make sure you ’ re also doing those same cutesy things in person .
Don ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Don ’ t put more energy into impressing strangers than into strengthening your own relationship .
2 .
Not everyone is going to support your decisions — but your opinions are the only ones that matter .
Your family and friends are always going to have opinions about your relationship .
They might tell you how to plan your wedding or how to solve problems or how to raise your children .
But you have to remember , your family and friends aren ’ t the bosses of you .
Their opinions @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your opinion matters and your partner ’ s opinion matters .
You can ’ t let others impact your relationship .
It has to stay between the two of you .
3 .
The only way the relationship is going to last is if you ’ re capable of handling stress together .
Wedding planning is stressful — and there are bound to be a million other obstacles that cause stress throughout the relationship .
That being said , you aren ’ t going to be able to make a relationship work if @ @ @ @ @ @ @ each other ’ s company when you ’ re at your highest points .
You also need to know how to communicate when you ’ re feeling low .
You need to know how to solve problems in a way that is fair for both of you .
You need to know how to get through your most stressful moments and make it back to the beautiful ones .
4 .
If you ’ re going to be together forever , there ’ s no need to rush .
You don ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ You can enjoy your engagement .
Enjoy planning your wedding .
Enjoy the time you get to spend together .
Don ’ t rush through everything out of excitement ( or worse , peer pressure ) and miss out on something special .
You ’ re going to be together forever , so what ’ s the difference if you get married tomorrow or a few years down the line ?
Try your best to remain patient and enjoy the moment instead of rushing to tomorrow .
5 .
Things are always going @ @ @ @ @ @ @ someone who will laugh with you .
The proposal probably won ’ t go exactly as planned .
Neither will the wedding .
Life is always going to throw curveballs at you , but when little things go wrong , you want to be with someone who can make you laugh about it .
You want to be with someone who makes you feel like everything is okay , even when you want to scream into a pillow .
In order to make sure the rest of your life is as happy as @ @ @ @ @ @ @ choose any partner .
Choose a best friend .

1. The performance you play on social media isn’t as important as day-to-day life. You can look like the perfect couple on Instagram. You can post a million cute selfies and write statuses about how much you love and support each other. But it’s better to tell each other how much you care than to tell the world how much you care. There’s nothing wrong with posting about your love online, but make sure you’re also doing those same cutesy things in person. Don’t let your love become an act. Don’t put more energy into impressing strangers than into strengthening your own relationship.
2. Not everyone is going to support your decisions — but your opinions are the only ones that matter. Your family and friends are always going to have opinions about your relationship. They might tell you how to plan your wedding or how to solve problems or how to raise your children. But you have to remember, your family and friends aren’t the bosses of you. Their opinions don’t matter as much as your opinion matters and your partner’s opinion matters. You can’t let others impact your relationship. It has to stay between the two of you.
3. The only way the relationship is going to last is if you’re capable of handling stress together. Wedding planning is stressful — and there are bound to be a million other obstacles that cause stress throughout the relationship. That being said, you aren’t going to be able to make a relationship work if you’re only able to enjoy each other’s company when you’re at your highest points. You also need to know how to communicate when you’re feeling low. You need to know how to solve problems in a way that is fair for both of you. You need to know how to get through your most stressful moments and make it back to the beautiful ones.
4. If you’re going to be together forever, there’s no need to rush. You don’t have to speed through your milestones. You can enjoy your engagement. Enjoy planning your wedding. Enjoy the time you get to spend together. Don’t rush through everything out of excitement (or worse, peer pressure) and miss out on something special. You’re going to be together forever, so what’s the difference if you get married tomorrow or a few years down the line? Try your best to remain patient and enjoy the moment instead of rushing to tomorrow.
5. Things are always going to go wrong, so you need someone who will laugh with you. The proposal probably won’t go exactly as planned. Neither will the wedding. Life is always going to throw curveballs at you, but when little things go wrong, you want to be with someone who can make you laugh about it. You want to be with someone who makes you feel like everything is okay, even when you want to scream into a pillow. In order to make sure the rest of your life is as happy as humanly possible, don’t just choose any partner. Choose a best friend.


thoughtcatalog--2020-09-28--6 Sketchy Dating Behaviors That Will Make Her Stop Trusting You

1 .
Hiding your phone .
You don ’ t have to give her the password to your lock screen , but purposely turning your phone away whenever you type out a text message and refusing to leave your cell alone in the room with her while you shower or pee might make you look sketchy .
If you never give her a glimpse at your phone , even casually , she ’ s going to start wondering what you ’ re hiding from her .
She ’ s going to wonder whether your phone is filled with texts from @ @ @ @ @ @ @ secretly still swiping through dating apps .
2 .
Dodging her questions .
When she asks what you ’ re doing , you might think you ’ re being cute by saying something like thinking about you .
However , if you never actually answer questions about where you are , who you ’ re with , or what you ’ re doing , she ’ s going to start wondering whether you ’ re doing something sketchy behind her back .
She ’ s going to grow frustrated that you never give @ @ @ @ @ @ @ s a time and place to tease her — and a time and place when you should give her a serious answer so she doesn ’ t have to nag you and seem needy .
3 .
Holding onto too many memories from an ex .
Even though some people manage to stay friends with their exes in a completely healthy way , there ’ s a difference between keeping in contact with an old flame and being hung up on them .
If you ’ re still wearing jewelry an ex bought @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your place , and mention their name multiple times in every conversation , it looks like you haven ’ t gotten over them .
It looks like your current girlfriend has reason to be worried .
4 .
Only wanting to hang out in private .
There ’ s nothing wrong with having date nights at home .
But if you refuse to meet up with her in a public place after weeks of dating , she ’ s going to wonder whether you ’ re purposely trying to hide her away .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ her ?
Are you worried about running into other girls you ’ ve been seeing behind her back ?
Every possibility is going to run through her mind .
5 .
Refusing to delete dating apps from your phone .
It ’ s not that hard to delete dating apps ( or to reupload them after a breakup ) .
If you can ’ t do the bare minimum by deleting your dating apps and telling those other girls you have a girlfriend now , then you don ’ t deserve her .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ have backup plans ready for when your relationship ends .
She wants you to be completely invested in her .
She wants your whole heart , not only a sliver of it .
6 .
Going MIA randomly .
If you want to be in her life , then stay in her life .
Don ’ t go days without talking to her .
Don ’ t make her wonder where you ’ ve been .
If you can ’ t take the time to send a two-minute text , then she ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ re hiding something — or whether you simply don ’ t care about her as much as she cares about you .

1. Hiding your phone. You don’t have to give her the password to your lock screen, but purposely turning your phone away whenever you type out a text message and refusing to leave your cell alone in the room with her while you shower or pee might make you look sketchy. If you never give her a glimpse at your phone, even casually, she’s going to start wondering what you’re hiding from her. She’s going to wonder whether your phone is filled with texts from other girls or whether you’re secretly still swiping through dating apps.
2. Dodging her questions. When she asks what you’re doing, you might think you’re being cute by saying something like thinking about you. However, if you never actually answer questions about where you are, who you’re with, or what you’re doing, she’s going to start wondering whether you’re doing something sketchy behind her back. She’s going to grow frustrated that you never give her a straight answer. There’s a time and place to tease her — and a time and place when you should give her a serious answer so she doesn’t have to nag you and seem needy.
3. Holding onto too many memories from an ex. Even though some people manage to stay friends with their exes in a completely healthy way, there’s a difference between keeping in contact with an old flame and being hung up on them. If you’re still wearing jewelry an ex bought you, have pictures of them around your place, and mention their name multiple times in every conversation, it looks like you haven’t gotten over them. It looks like your current girlfriend has reason to be worried.
4. Only wanting to hang out in private. There’s nothing wrong with having date nights at home. But if you refuse to meet up with her in a public place after weeks of dating, she’s going to wonder whether you’re purposely trying to hide her away. Are you embarrassed to be seen with her? Are you worried about running into other girls you’ve been seeing behind her back? Every possibility is going to run through her mind.
5. Refusing to delete dating apps from your phone. It’s not that hard to delete dating apps (or to reupload them after a breakup). If you can’t do the bare minimum by deleting your dating apps and telling those other girls you have a girlfriend now, then you don’t deserve her. She doesn’t want you to have backup plans ready for when your relationship ends. She wants you to be completely invested in her. She wants your whole heart, not only a sliver of it.
6. Going MIA randomly. If you want to be in her life, then stay in her life. Don’t go days without talking to her. Don’t make her wonder where you’ve been. If you can’t take the time to send a two-minute text, then she’s going to wonder whether you’re hiding something — or whether you simply don’t care about her as much as she cares about you.


thoughtcatalog--2020-09-28--5 Little Excuses You Keep Making That Are Destroying Your Mental Health

1 .
You don ’ t think your problems are a big deal compared to everyone else ’ s problems .
You feel like you ’ don ’ t have the right to complain about your life .
You feel like you ’ re being a brat by whining about how hard you have it when you know other people have it so much worse than you .
You act like everything is okay because you don ’ t want to overreact .
But you ’ re allowed to feel your emotions .
They are valid .
They are real @ @ @ @ @ @ @ pretend you ’ re perfectly fine because you feel guilty about your life not being worse .
Your problems are still problems .
You have a right to be sad .
2 .
You are too busy worrying about your friends and family to worry about yourself .
Instead of focusing on your own needs , you ’ re too busy taking care of everyone around you .
You care about them more than you care about yourself so it makes for the perfect distraction .
You don ’ t have the time @ @ @ @ @ @ @ what needs to be done for your own mental health because you ’ re playing caretaker .
You ’ re trying to rescue everyone else because you ’ re unsure of how to save yourself .
But if you really want to be there for the people you love , you need to take care of yourself first .
If you burn out , you won ’ t be able to be there for them anymore .
Taking care of yourself will also help them .
3 .
You don ’ t want @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ones .
You don ’ t want your family and friends to worry about you .
You don ’ t want to let them know how hard life has been lately because it might put a damper on their day , and you don ’ t want to be an inconvenience .
You don ’ t want to cause them any trouble .
You would rather deal with your problems on your own to avoid causing them stress .
But you have to think about how you would react if the roles were @ @ @ @ @ @ @ struggling , would you blame them for bringing you stress ?
Would you wish they kept their problems to themselves ?
Of course not .
You would be glad they opened up to you — and that ’ s exactly how your loved ones are going to feel when you ’ re honest with them .
4 .
You decide you ’ ll handle your problems later , once they grow bigger .
You feel like things aren ’ t great but they aren ’ t terrible either .
That ’ s why @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
You figure you ’ ll worry about your issues later , sometime down the line .
For now , you pretend they don ’ t exist .
You keep moving forward without making a big deal out of what ’ s wrong .
But you can ’ t run from your problems forever .
That system only allows your issues ( and your stress ) to snowball .
Your demons will catch up to you eventually .
When they do , you will be even more miserable than you would ’ ve @ @ @ @ @ @ @ problems when they first arose .
5 .
You feel like you don ’ t deserve to be happy .
You might have self-destructive habits .
You might feel like it ’ s perfectly fine if you let your mental health deteriorate because you don ’ t deserve happiness anyway .
You feel like you deserve to be miserable .
You feel like you ’ ve earned your fair share of pain .
But that is only a lie you ’ ve been telling yourself .
Even though you ’ ve made mistakes @ @ @ @ @ @ @ aren ’ t perfect , you are still deserving of love and happiness and peace .
You simply need to make the choice to start caring about your mental health because you do matter .
You do count .

1. You don’t think your problems are a big deal compared to everyone else’s problems.
You feel like you’ don’t have the right to complain about your life. You feel like you’re being a brat by whining about how hard you have it when you know other people have it so much worse than you. You act like everything is okay because you don’t want to overreact.
But you’re allowed to feel your emotions. They are valid. They are real. You don’t have to pretend you’re perfectly fine because you feel guilty about your life not being worse. Your problems are still problems. You have a right to be sad.
2. You are too busy worrying about your friends and family to worry about yourself.
Instead of focusing on your own needs, you’re too busy taking care of everyone around you. You care about them more than you care about yourself so it makes for the perfect distraction. You don’t have the time or the energy to focus on doing what needs to be done for your own mental health because you’re playing caretaker. You’re trying to rescue everyone else because you’re unsure of how to save yourself.
But if you really want to be there for the people you love, you need to take care of yourself first. If you burn out, you won’t be able to be there for them anymore. Taking care of yourself will also help them.
3. You don’t want to be a burden to your loved ones.
You don’t want your family and friends to worry about you. You don’t want to let them know how hard life has been lately because it might put a damper on their day, and you don’t want to be an inconvenience. You don’t want to cause them any trouble. You would rather deal with your problems on your own to avoid causing them stress.
But you have to think about how you would react if the roles were reversed. If a loved one was struggling, would you blame them for bringing you stress? Would you wish they kept their problems to themselves? Of course not. You would be glad they opened up to you — and that’s exactly how your loved ones are going to feel when you’re honest with them.
4. You decide you’ll handle your problems later, once they grow bigger.
You feel like things aren’t great but they aren’t terrible either. That’s why you put self-care off. You procrastinate. You figure you’ll worry about your issues later, sometime down the line. For now, you pretend they don’t exist. You keep moving forward without making a big deal out of what’s wrong.
But you can’t run from your problems forever. That system only allows your issues (and your stress) to snowball. Your demons will catch up to you eventually. When they do, you will be even more miserable than you would’ve if you simply took care of your problems when they first arose.
5. You feel like you don’t deserve to be happy.
You might have self-destructive habits. You might feel like it’s perfectly fine if you let your mental health deteriorate because you don’t deserve happiness anyway. You feel like you deserve to be miserable. You feel like you’ve earned your fair share of pain.
But that is only a lie you’ve been telling yourself. Even though you’ve made mistakes throughout your life, even though you aren’t perfect, you are still deserving of love and happiness and peace. You simply need to make the choice to start caring about your mental health because you do matter. You do count.


thoughtcatalog--2020-09-28--11 Relationship-Based Things You Shouldn’t Be Putting Effort Into In 2020

1 .
Unfulfilling relationships .
If someone is unable to see your worth , don ’ t invest energy into them .
If someone makes you feel bad about yourself , don ’ t invest energy into them .
If someone simply doesn ’ t click with you , don ’ t invest energy into them .
You should surround yourself with people who bring you happiness , not stress .
2 .
Bad sex .
If your partner doesn ’ t care about your pleasure and isn ’ t interested in learning what makes you tick , then there @ @ @ @ @ @ @ much energy into their pleasure .
Sex should be a two-way street .
If they don ’ t want to put in the effort , neither should you .
3 .
One-sided conversations .
You shouldn ’ t be carrying the conversation .
You shouldn ’ t be the only one coming up with topics and typing out paragraphs while the other person gives one-word responses .
If they can ’ t keep a conversation going , you should end it .
4 .
Immature men ( and women ) .
It ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ how to behave in a relationship .
If they are unable to treat you right , then walk away .
You ’ re not responsible for raising them .
You ’ re not their parent .
5 .
Liars and cheaters .
You don ’ t have to give someone another chance out of the goodness of your heart .
It doesn ’ t matter how much they beg and cry to have you back .
They had an opportunity to date you — and they blew it .
You might be initiating @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
6 .
Dressing for others .
Dress for yourself .
Wear what you like .
Screw what other people think .
The right person will love your own personal style .
They won ’ t expect you to pretend to be someone else .
7 .
Hiding your feelings .
Don ’ t waste your energy by stuffing your emotions deep down in your chest instead of putting them out in the open .
You ’ re allowed to express how you ’ re feeling .
If someone can ’ t handle @ @ @ @ @ @ @ don ’ t deserve you .
You should move along .
8 .
Chasing after someone .
You shouldn ’ t have to fight for someone ’ s attention .
You shouldn ’ t have to beg for a text back or a phone call or a hangout session .
If someone respects you and appreciates you and enjoys spending time with you , they will be excited to spend time with you .
You won ’ t have to force them into the idea .
9 .
Looking perfect on social media @ @ @ @ @ @ @ post couple photos on social media — or you could post goofy , silly shots that are blurred and off-center .
You don ’ t have to pose like professional models in order to come across as couple goals .
Besides , it doesn ’ t matter what others think of your relationship .
It only matters whether you two are happy together .
10 .
Coming across as chill .
Even though it ’ s scary to be your unfiltered self , real relationships involve two real people , not two people @ @ @ @ @ @ @ not .
If you want your love to last , be upfront from the start .
11 .
Pretending you ’ re happy single — or happy in the wrong relationship .
Stop pretending in order to impress other people .
Be honest with others and with yourself .
If you ’ re unhappy , you ’ re allowed to voice your opinion .
You don ’ t have to lie .

1. Unfulfilling relationships. If someone is unable to see your worth, don’t invest energy into them. If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, don’t invest energy into them. If someone simply doesn’t click with you, don’t invest energy into them. You should surround yourself with people who bring you happiness, not stress.
2. Bad sex. If your partner doesn’t care about your pleasure and isn’t interested in learning what makes you tick, then there’s no reason to put so much energy into their pleasure. Sex should be a two-way street. If they don’t want to put in the effort, neither should you.
3. One-sided conversations. You shouldn’t be carrying the conversation. You shouldn’t be the only one coming up with topics and typing out paragraphs while the other person gives one-word responses. If they can’t keep a conversation going, you should end it.
4. Immature men (and women). It’s not your job to teach someone how to behave in a relationship. If they are unable to treat you right, then walk away. You’re not responsible for raising them. You’re not their parent.
5. Liars and cheaters. You don’t have to give someone another chance out of the goodness of your heart. It doesn’t matter how much they beg and cry to have you back. They had an opportunity to date you — and they blew it. You might be initiating the breakup, but they caused it.
6. Dressing for others. Dress for yourself. Wear what you like. Screw what other people think. The right person will love your own personal style. They won’t expect you to pretend to be someone else.
7. Hiding your feelings. Don’t waste your energy by stuffing your emotions deep down in your chest instead of putting them out in the open. You’re allowed to express how you’re feeling. If someone can’t handle your thoughts and opinions, then they don’t deserve you. You should move along.
8. Chasing after someone. You shouldn’t have to fight for someone’s attention. You shouldn’t have to beg for a text back or a phone call or a hangout session. If someone respects you and appreciates you and enjoys spending time with you, they will be excited to spend time with you. You won’t have to force them into the idea.
9. Looking perfect on social media. You don’t have to post couple photos on social media — or you could post goofy, silly shots that are blurred and off-center. You don’t have to pose like professional models in order to come across as couple goals. Besides, it doesn’t matter what others think of your relationship. It only matters whether you two are happy together.
10. Coming across as chill. Even though it’s scary to be your unfiltered self, real relationships involve two real people, not two people pretending to be someone they’re not. If you want your love to last, be upfront from the start.
11. Pretending you’re happy single — or happy in the wrong relationship. Stop pretending in order to impress other people. Be honest with others and with yourself. If you’re unhappy, you’re allowed to voice your opinion. You don’t have to lie.