thoughtcatalog--2020-10-27--11 Horror Books You Should Read On Halloween Night

“ Rosemary Woodhouse and her struggling actor husband Guy move into the Bramford , an old New York City apartment building with an ominous reputation and mostly elderly residents .
Neighbors Roman and Minnie Castavet soon come nosing around to welcome the Woodhouses to the building , and despite Rosemary ’ s reservations about their eccentricity and the weird noises that she keeps hearing , her husband takes a shine to them .
Shortly after Guy lands a plum Broadway role , Rosemary becomes pregnant—and the Castavets start taking a special interest in her welfare .
As the sickened Rosemary @ @ @ @ @ @ @ suspect that the Castavets ’ circle is not what it seems… ” “ When aspiring writer and recent Brown graduate Guinevere Beck strides into the bookstore where Joe works , he ’ s instantly smitten .
Beck is everything Joe has ever wanted : she ’ s gorgeous , tough , razor-smart , and sexy beyond his wildest dreams .
Joe needs to have her , and he ’ ll stop at nothing to do so .
As he begins to insinuate himself into her life – her friendships , her email , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ resist her feelings for a guy who seems custom-made for her .
So when her boyfriend , Benji , mysteriously disappears , Beck and Joe fall into a tumultuous affair .
But there ’ s more to Beck than her oh-so-perfect façade , and their mutual obsession quickly spirals into a whirlwind of deadly consequences.
” “ During a business visit to Count Dracula ’ s castle in Transylvania , a young English solicitor finds himself at the center of a series of horrifying incidents .
Jonathan Harker is attacked by three phantom @ @ @ @ @ @ @ transformation from human to bat form , and discovers puncture wounds on his own neck that seem to have been made by teeth .
Harker returns home upon his escape from Dracula ’ s grim fortress , but a friend ’ s strange malady — involving sleepwalking , inexplicable blood loss , and mysterious throat wounds — initiates a frantic vampire hunt.
” “ Jack Torrance ’ s new job at the Overlook Hotel is the perfect chance for a fresh start .
As the off-season caretaker at the atmospheric old hotel , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to spend reconnecting with his family and working on his writing .
But as the harsh winter weather sets in , the idyllic location feels ever more remote… and more sinister .
And the only one to notice the strange and terrible forces gathering around the Overlook is Danny Torrance , a uniquely gifted five-year-old.
” 5 .
The Haunting of House Hill by Shirley Jackson “ It is the story of four seekers who arrive at a notoriously unfriendly pile called Hill House : Dr. Montague , an occult scholar looking for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , his lighthearted assistant ; Eleanor , a friendless , fragile young woman well acquainted with poltergeists ; and Luke , the future heir of Hill House .
At first , their stay seems destined to be merely a spooky encounter with inexplicable phenomena .
But Hill House is gathering its powers—and soon it will choose one of them to make its own.
” 6 .
The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris “ A serial murderer known only by a grotesquely apt nickname–Buffalo Bill–is stalking women .
He has a purpose @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , for the bodies are discovered in different states .
Clarice Starling , a young trainee at the FBI Academy , is surprised to be summoned by Jack Crawford , chief of the Bureau ’ s Behavioral Science section .
Her assignment : to interview Dr. Hannibal Lecter–Hannibal the Cannibal–who is kept under close watch in the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane .
Dr. Lecter is a former psychiatrist with a grisly history , unusual tastes , and an intense curiosity about the darker corners of the mind .
His intimate @ @ @ @ @ @ @ herself form the core of Thomas Harris ’ The Silence of the Lambs–an ingenious , masterfully written book and an unforgettable classic of suspense fiction.
” “ Inspired by a true story of a child ’ s demonic possession in the 1940s , William Peter Blatty created an iconic novel that focuses on Regan , the eleven-year-old daughter of a movie actress residing in Washington , D.C. A small group of overwhelmed yet determined individuals must rescue Regan from her unspeakable fate , and the drama that ensues is gripping and unfailingly terrifying.
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ , but how many of us are still haunted by that terrible time ?
We have ( temporarily ? )
defeated the living dead , but at what cost ?
Told in the haunting and riveting voices of the men and women who witnessed the horror firsthand , World War Z is the only record of the pandemic .
The Zombie War came unthinkably close to eradicating humanity .
Max Brooks , driven by the urgency of preserving the acid-etched first-hand experiences of the survivors , traveled across the United States of America @ @ @ @ @ @ @ cities that once teemed with upwards of thirty million souls to the most remote and inhospitable areas of the planet .
He recorded the testimony of men , women , and sometimes children who came face-to-face with the living , or at least the undead , hell of that dreadful time .
World War Z is the result .
Never before have we had access to a document that so powerfully conveys the depth of fear and horror , and also the ineradicable spirit of resistance , that gripped human society through the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ there .
.
.
Something terrifying that must not be seen .
One glimpse and a person is driven to deadly violence .
No one knows what it is or where it came from .
Five years after it began , a handful of scattered survivors remain , including Malorie and her two young children .
Living in an abandoned house near the river , she has dreamed of fleeing to a place where they might be safe .
Now , that the boy and girl are four , it is time to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be terrifying : twenty miles downriver in a rowboat—blindfolded—with nothing to rely on but her wits and the children ’ s trained ears .
One wrong choice and they will die .
And something is following them .
But is it man , animal , or monster ?
Engulfed in darkness , surrounded by sounds both familiar and frightening , Malorie embarks on a harrowing odyssey—a trip that takes her into an unseen world and back into the past , to the companions who once saved her .
Under the guidance of the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ strangers banded together against the unseen terror , creating order from the chaos .
But when supplies ran low , they were forced to venture outside—and confront the ultimate question : in a world gone mad , who can really be trusted ?
” 10 .
Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice “ Here are the confessions of a vampire .
Hypnotic , shocking , and chillingly erotic , this is a novel of mesmerizing beauty and astonishing force – a story of danger and flight , of love and loss , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the extraordinary power of the senses .
It is a novel only Anne Rice could write.
” “ When Coraline steps through a door to find another house strangely similar to her own ( only better ) , things seem marvelous .
But there ’ s another mother there , and another father , and they want her to stay and be their little girl .
They want to change her and never let her go .
Coraline will have to fight with all her wit and courage if she is to save @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
”

1. Rosemary’s Baby by Ira Levin
“Rosemary Woodhouse and her struggling actor husband Guy move into the Bramford, an old New York City apartment building with an ominous reputation and mostly elderly residents. Neighbors Roman and Minnie Castavet soon come nosing around to welcome the Woodhouses to the building, and despite Rosemary’s reservations about their eccentricity and the weird noises that she keeps hearing, her husband takes a shine to them. Shortly after Guy lands a plum Broadway role, Rosemary becomes pregnant—and the Castavets start taking a special interest in her welfare. As the sickened Rosemary becomes increasingly isolated, she begins to suspect that the Castavets’ circle is not what it seems…”
2. YOU by Caroline Kepnes
“When aspiring writer and recent Brown graduate Guinevere Beck strides into the bookstore where Joe works, he’s instantly smitten. Beck is everything Joe has ever wanted: she’s gorgeous, tough, razor-smart, and sexy beyond his wildest dreams. Joe needs to have her, and he’ll stop at nothing to do so. As he begins to insinuate himself into her life – her friendships, her email, her phone – she can’t resist her feelings for a guy who seems custom-made for her. So when her boyfriend, Benji, mysteriously disappears, Beck and Joe fall into a tumultuous affair. But there’s more to Beck than her oh-so-perfect façade, and their mutual obsession quickly spirals into a whirlwind of deadly consequences.”
3. Dracula by Bram Stoker
“During a business visit to Count Dracula’s castle in Transylvania, a young English solicitor finds himself at the center of a series of horrifying incidents. Jonathan Harker is attacked by three phantom women, observes the Count’s transformation from human to bat form, and discovers puncture wounds on his own neck that seem to have been made by teeth. Harker returns home upon his escape from Dracula’s grim fortress, but a friend’s strange malady — involving sleepwalking, inexplicable blood loss, and mysterious throat wounds — initiates a frantic vampire hunt.”
4. The Shining by Stephen King
“Jack Torrance’s new job at the Overlook Hotel is the perfect chance for a fresh start. As the off-season caretaker at the atmospheric old hotel, he’ll have plenty of time to spend reconnecting with his family and working on his writing. But as the harsh winter weather sets in, the idyllic location feels ever more remote… and more sinister. And the only one to notice the strange and terrible forces gathering around the Overlook is Danny Torrance, a uniquely gifted five-year-old.”
5. The Haunting of House Hill by Shirley Jackson
“It is the story of four seekers who arrive at a notoriously unfriendly pile called Hill House: Dr. Montague, an occult scholar looking for solid evidence of a haunting; Theodora, his lighthearted assistant; Eleanor, a friendless, fragile young woman well acquainted with poltergeists; and Luke, the future heir of Hill House. At first, their stay seems destined to be merely a spooky encounter with inexplicable phenomena. But Hill House is gathering its powers—and soon it will choose one of them to make its own.”
6. The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris
“A serial murderer known only by a grotesquely apt nickname–Buffalo Bill–is stalking women. He has a purpose, but no one can fathom it, for the bodies are discovered in different states. Clarice Starling, a young trainee at the FBI Academy, is surprised to be summoned by Jack Crawford, chief of the Bureau’s Behavioral Science section. Her assignment: to interview Dr. Hannibal Lecter–Hannibal the Cannibal–who is kept under close watch in the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane.
Dr. Lecter is a former psychiatrist with a grisly history, unusual tastes, and an intense curiosity about the darker corners of the mind. His intimate understanding of the killer and of Clarice herself form the core of Thomas Harris’ The Silence of the Lambs–an ingenious, masterfully written book and an unforgettable classic of suspense fiction.”
7. The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty
“Inspired by a true story of a child’s demonic possession in the 1940s, William Peter Blatty created an iconic novel that focuses on Regan, the eleven-year-old daughter of a movie actress residing in Washington, D.C. A small group of overwhelmed yet determined individuals must rescue Regan from her unspeakable fate, and the drama that ensues is gripping and unfailingly terrifying.”
8. World War Z by Max Brooks
“We survived the zombie apocalypse, but how many of us are still haunted by that terrible time? We have (temporarily?) defeated the living dead, but at what cost? Told in the haunting and riveting voices of the men and women who witnessed the horror firsthand, World War Z is the only record of the pandemic.
The Zombie War came unthinkably close to eradicating humanity. Max Brooks, driven by the urgency of preserving the acid-etched first-hand experiences of the survivors, traveled across the United States of America and throughout the world, from decimated cities that once teemed with upwards of thirty million souls to the most remote and inhospitable areas of the planet. He recorded the testimony of men, women, and sometimes children who came face-to-face with the living, or at least the undead, hell of that dreadful time. World War Z is the result. Never before have we had access to a document that so powerfully conveys the depth of fear and horror, and also the ineradicable spirit of resistance, that gripped human society through the plague years.”
9. Bird Box by Josh Maler
“Something is out there . . .
Something terrifying that must not be seen. One glimpse and a person is driven to deadly violence. No one knows what it is or where it came from.
Five years after it began, a handful of scattered survivors remain, including Malorie and her two young children. Living in an abandoned house near the river, she has dreamed of fleeing to a place where they might be safe. Now, that the boy and girl are four, it is time to go. But the journey ahead will be terrifying: twenty miles downriver in a rowboat—blindfolded—with nothing to rely on but her wits and the children’s trained ears. One wrong choice and they will die. And something is following them. But is it man, animal, or monster?
Engulfed in darkness, surrounded by sounds both familiar and frightening, Malorie embarks on a harrowing odyssey—a trip that takes her into an unseen world and back into the past, to the companions who once saved her. Under the guidance of the stalwart Tom, a motely group of strangers banded together against the unseen terror, creating order from the chaos. But when supplies ran low, they were forced to venture outside—and confront the ultimate question: in a world gone mad, who can really be trusted?”
10. Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice
“Here are the confessions of a vampire. Hypnotic, shocking, and chillingly erotic, this is a novel of mesmerizing beauty and astonishing force – a story of danger and flight, of love and loss, of suspense and resolution, and of the extraordinary power of the senses. It is a novel only Anne Rice could write.”
11. Coraline by Neil Gaiman
“When Coraline steps through a door to find another house strangely similar to her own (only better), things seem marvelous.
But there’s another mother there, and another father, and they want her to stay and be their little girl. They want to change her and never let her go.
Coraline will have to fight with all her wit and courage if she is to save herself and return to her ordinary life.”


thoughtcatalog--2020-10-27--30 Binge-Worthy Documentaries That Will Change The Way You Look At The World

1 .
The Imposter ( 2012 ) .
About a boy who went missing in Texas , then a young man from Spain makes the claim he ’ s the missing boy 3 years later , despite an accent , different colored eyes , hair , etc .
And the family supports the claim , but there ’ s more to it .
One of those stories that if it weren ’ t true , no one would believe .
2 .
Jiro Dreams of Sushi .
I always thought making sushi was kind of a lazy art because it @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and uncooked fish .
But it was awesome to see someone who put so much dedication into the art and to realize that sushi is quite a complex art if you do it right .
It made me really appreciate those who specialize in any field .
Highly recommend this one .
3 .
My Octopus Teacher on Netflix .
I knew that the octopuses are pretty smart , but the documentary took it to another level .
The documentary was based on this guy who went diving every day for 300+ days @ @ @ @ @ @ @ trust .
He recorded the octopus playing with fishes , developing hunting strategies , etc .
The octopus even wanted scritches from him .
Amazing cinematography , too .
10/10 would recommend .
4 .
The Bridge .
The filmmakers document people jumping to their death from the Golden Gate bridge .
One of the most depressing films I ’ ve ever seen .
5 .
The Social Dilemma on Netflix .
Really changed my views on social media .
6 .
Planet Earth is really an incredible series , there isn ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ t leave me speechless at some point .
7 .
Restrepo was fucken insane .
I was deployed in the same area during the exact same time ( summer , 2008 ) .
Just a different unit .
When it came out I watched it with my family and kept pausing the video to show them photos of me in the exact same place they were .
Sebastian Junger also wrote a book besides the documentary called War .
Highly recommend .
There ’ s a follow-up doc called Korengal that ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ those dudes are doing today .
8 .
Icarus .
This one was such a fucking ride .
Imagine going from simply trying out doping to see if you could win a small biking competition to literally uncovering one of the biggest doping scandals in Olympic history .
9 .
Dreams of a Life is about a woman who ’ s found dead in her apartment , in a state of decomposition that shows she had been dead for three years .
Not many shows or movies make me cry , but this @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 10 .
Won ’ t You Be My Neighbor ?
– a thoughtful , incisive look at the life and legacy of Fred Rogers , otherwise known as Mister Rogers .
It is terrific .
It should be seen in every history classroom in the US .
One of the most comprehensive and horrifying documentaries I ’ ve ever seen .
Soldiers on both sides , diplomats , spies , and citizens who were caught in the middle all share their experiences and perspectives .
US education doesn ’ t come close to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
What a tragic waste of life .
That era was so monstrously fucked up that anyone who watches it will think : “ Today isn ’ t so bad.
” As the New York Times put it , the documentary : “ Will break your heart and win your mind.
” 12 .
Jim & Andy : The Great Beyond .
It ’ s about Jim Carey being a fucking nut while filming Man on the Moon .
His work as Tony Clifton is great shit .
13 .
BlackFish .
Really @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and zoos in general do with animals in captivity such as Orcas .
Only went to SeaWorld once when I was 17 and I ’ ll never go again .
14 .
Tickled .
I have so much trouble trying to get people to watch this since it ’ s kinda hard to describe without spoiling and/or making it sound like some sort of fetish porn .
But it is soo good .
15 .
If you haven ’ t already , you should also watch The Dawn Wall .
It ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , and how one of the best big wall climbers ever became the first person to climb a new route up El Cap , a route which is widely considered to be one of the most technically difficult climbs in the world .
It ’ s available on Netflix 16 .
Mommy Dead and Dearest the documentary about Gypsy Rose Blanchard convincing her boyfriend to kill her abusive mother .
For over 14 years her mother confined her to a wheelchair when she had no need for it .
It was crazy that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that she got doctors to do multiple surgeries on her daughter she didn ’ t need .
17 .
There ’ s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane .
A story about functioning addicts , enabling , and pure trauma .
Touches home to many people experiencing similar family dynamics .
Heartbreaking .
18 .
Compliance .
I actually watched the film dramatisation first not knowing it was based on reality and spent the film complaining it was ridiculous and far fetched .
No one could be that stupid .
A whole restaurant staff @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s too much .
Then I found there was a documentary and watched that .
If anything the real people were even more cretinous than the film made them seem !
!
19 .
The Keepers totally opened my eyes to the pedophiles in the Catholic Church .
I went to a Catholic grade school in that era , and that documentary blew my mind .
20 .
Abducted in Plain Sight and Capturing the Friedmans .
It really blew my mind while I was watching those insane family dynamics .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ justify , deny , or try to normalize such insane behavior .
I still wonder how on earth they managed to get everyone involved to talk about it on camera .
I remember reading about it in 2018 , so I knew the outcome ( who murdered whom ) , but I had no knowledge of the details .
I ’ ve met pathological liars in my lifetime , yet it still blows my mind ( to answer the question ) that people truly think they can get away with blatant and obvious @ @ @ @ @ @ @ murder isn ’ t on the table .
The documentary was well edited using pre-recorded data , so it felt more chilling to me .
22 .
Anything by Werner Herzog but specifically Grizzly Man .
A very sad and strange and unbelievable account of a man who lived in the wilderness among grizzly bears .
Some documentarians would romanticize the situation but Herzog ’ s blunt and completely unromantic commentary makes it amazing .
23 .
Murderball ( 2005 ) .
Maybe not mind-blowing so much as eye-opening .
This documentary was @ @ @ @ @ @ @ me to watch , but it helped me confront and overcome my own preconceptions about the wheelchair-bound .
24 .
Tiger King was great because it started out normal but each episode just got weirder and weirder .
By the end , all I could think was… .
too much happened and almost all of it was crazy .
25 .
Three Identical Strangers .
This was fucking crazy .
Fascinating and equally horrifying .
Everyone should watch .
26 .
The Last Dance .
I am the most marginal basketball fan ever @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
27 .
How to Die in Oregon .
Watched it once and had the most emotional reaction to any doc/movie I ’ ve ever seen before .
Can ’ t watch it again , but I would highly recommend that YOU check it out .
In my opinion , society should extend much grace and mercy to terminally ill people who wish to live ( or not ) on their own terms .
28 .
David Attenborough ’ s newest film , A Life on Our Planet .
Attenborough calls on his @ @ @ @ @ @ @ concerns regarding climate change and describes his personal experiences seeing the destruction of our planet over his 90 years .
It was a fantastic documentary , and I would very much recommend it .
29 .
The Fog of War took me by surprise .
I didn ’ t know much about the Cuban Missle Crisis beforehand but I learned a lot about how close we came to all-out nuclear war .
There ’ s a ton of other details from that era as well that really surprised me .
30 .
They @ @ @ @ @ @ @ remastered footage .

Ask Reddit put together a list of the best documentaries you can watch right now!
1. The Imposter (2012). About a boy who went missing in Texas, then a young man from Spain makes the claim he’s the missing boy 3 years later, despite an accent, different colored eyes, hair, etc. And the family supports the claim, but there’s more to it. One of those stories that if it weren’t true, no one would believe.
2. Jiro Dreams of Sushi. I always thought making sushi was kind of a lazy art because it’s really just a rice ball and uncooked fish. But it was awesome to see someone who put so much dedication into the art and to realize that sushi is quite a complex art if you do it right. It made me really appreciate those who specialize in any field. Highly recommend this one.
3. My Octopus Teacher on Netflix. I knew that the octopuses are pretty smart, but the documentary took it to another level. The documentary was based on this guy who went diving every day for 300+ days to befriend an octopus and earn her trust. He recorded the octopus playing with fishes, developing hunting strategies, etc. The octopus even wanted scritches from him. Amazing cinematography, too. 10/10 would recommend.
4. The Bridge. The filmmakers document people jumping to their death from the Golden Gate bridge. One of the most depressing films I’ve ever seen.
5. The Social Dilemma on Netflix. Really changed my views on social media.
6. Planet Earth is really an incredible series, there isn’t a single episode that didn’t leave me speechless at some point.
7. Restrepo was fucken insane. I was deployed in the same area during the exact same time (summer, 2008). Just a different unit. When it came out I watched it with my family and kept pausing the video to show them photos of me in the exact same place they were.
Sebastian Junger also wrote a book besides the documentary called War. Highly recommend.
There’s a follow-up doc called Korengal that’s on Amazon right now which documents how those dudes are doing today.
8. Icarus. This one was such a fucking ride. Imagine going from simply trying out doping to see if you could win a small biking competition to literally uncovering one of the biggest doping scandals in Olympic history.
9. Dreams of a Life is about a woman who’s found dead in her apartment, in a state of decomposition that shows she had been dead for three years. Not many shows or movies make me cry, but this one did. Like actual sobbing.
10. Won’t You Be My Neighbor? – a thoughtful, incisive look at the life and legacy of Fred Rogers, otherwise known as Mister Rogers. It is terrific.
11. Ken Burn’s The Vietnam War.
It should be seen in every history classroom in the US.
One of the most comprehensive and horrifying documentaries I’ve ever seen. Soldiers on both sides, diplomats, spies, and citizens who were caught in the middle all share their experiences and perspectives.
US education doesn’t come close to painting a clear picture of the war. What a tragic waste of life. That era was so monstrously fucked up that anyone who watches it will think: “Today isn’t so bad.”
As the New York Times put it, the documentary: “Will break your heart and win your mind.”
12. Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond. It’s about Jim Carey being a fucking nut while filming Man on the Moon. His work as Tony Clifton is great shit.
13. BlackFish. Really opened up my mind to what SeaWorld and zoos in general do with animals in captivity such as Orcas. Only went to SeaWorld once when I was 17 and I’ll never go again.
14. Tickled. I have so much trouble trying to get people to watch this since it’s kinda hard to describe without spoiling and/or making it sound like some sort of fetish porn. But it is soo good.
15. If you haven’t already, you should also watch The Dawn Wall. It’s a fantastic documentary about climbing El Capitan, and how one of the best big wall climbers ever became the first person to climb a new route up El Cap, a route which is widely considered to be one of the most technically difficult climbs in the world. It’s available on Netflix
16. Mommy Dead and Dearest the documentary about Gypsy Rose Blanchard convincing her boyfriend to kill her abusive mother. For over 14 years her mother confined her to a wheelchair when she had no need for it. It was crazy that no one in their lives knew and that she got doctors to do multiple surgeries on her daughter she didn’t need.
17. There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane. A story about functioning addicts, enabling, and pure trauma. Touches home to many people experiencing similar family dynamics. Heartbreaking.
18. Compliance. I actually watched the film dramatisation first not knowing it was based on reality and spent the film complaining it was ridiculous and far fetched. No one could be that stupid. A whole restaurant staff, all this moronic? No, it’s too much.
Then I found there was a documentary and watched that. If anything the real people were even more cretinous than the film made them seem!!
Amazed me.
19. The Keepers totally opened my eyes to the pedophiles in the Catholic Church. I went to a Catholic grade school in that era, and that documentary blew my mind.
20. Abducted in Plain Sight and Capturing the Friedmans. It really blew my mind while I was watching those insane family dynamics. The stupid decisions and the way they justify, deny, or try to normalize such insane behavior. I still wonder how on earth they managed to get everyone involved to talk about it on camera.
21. American Murder; The Family Next Door.
I remember reading about it in 2018, so I knew the outcome (who murdered whom), but I had no knowledge of the details.
I’ve met pathological liars in my lifetime, yet it still blows my mind (to answer the question) that people truly think they can get away with blatant and obvious lies. It’s laughable when murder isn’t on the table.
The documentary was well edited using pre-recorded data, so it felt more chilling to me.
22. Anything by Werner Herzog but specifically Grizzly Man.
A very sad and strange and unbelievable account of a man who lived in the wilderness among grizzly bears. Some documentarians would romanticize the situation but Herzog’s blunt and completely unromantic commentary makes it amazing.
23. Murderball (2005). Maybe not mind-blowing so much as eye-opening. This documentary was, at times, really tough for me to watch, but it helped me confront and overcome my own preconceptions about the wheelchair-bound.
24. Tiger King was great because it started out normal but each episode just got weirder and weirder. By the end, all I could think was…. too much happened and almost all of it was crazy.
25. Three Identical Strangers. This was fucking crazy. Fascinating and equally horrifying. Everyone should watch.
26. The Last Dance. I am the most marginal basketball fan ever and I was riveted by this show.
27. How to Die in Oregon. Watched it once and had the most emotional reaction to any doc/movie I’ve ever seen before. Can’t watch it again, but I would highly recommend that YOU check it out. In my opinion, society should extend much grace and mercy to terminally ill people who wish to live (or not) on their own terms.
28. David Attenborough’s newest film, A Life on Our Planet. Attenborough calls on his witness statement in which he shares his concerns regarding climate change and describes his personal experiences seeing the destruction of our planet over his 90 years. It was a fantastic documentary, and I would very much recommend it.
29. The Fog of War took me by surprise. I didn’t know much about the Cuban Missle Crisis beforehand but I learned a lot about how close we came to all-out nuclear war. There’s a ton of other details from that era as well that really surprised me.
30. They Shall Not Grow Old. Incredible WWI remastered footage.


thoughtcatalog--2020-10-27--30 Things About Mental Health Almost Everyone Gets Wrong

1 .
That depression only makes you sad .
There is a myriad of other feelings and physical symptoms .
2 .
Schizophrenics don ’ t always hear voices .
With mine , I hear people trying to break down my door , trying to open my windows , and movement under my house .
3 .
OCD is not about being tidy and clean .
It involves rescuing , intrusive thoughts , and obsessively cleaning is just one of the OCD-related compilations .
It can seriously fuck up someone ’ s life .
An example would be turning a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ once entering a room or you fear something terrible will happen if you don ’ t .
It really annoys me when someone calls themselves OCD because they like a clean kitchen .
4 .
Most people with PTSD and/or CPTSD haven ’ t been in the military or a warzone .
5 .
Mood/anxiety disorders do not need an objective reason for occurring – you don ’ t need to have a shit life to be depressed or to be at any actual risk of something bad happening in order to have @ @ @ @ @ @ @ or in connection to things that happened far in the past .
Therefore , the common notions that someone is ungrateful for being depressed or having anxiety or that they ’ re faking it because they “ have no reason ” to suffer from them is absolutely flawed and the attempt at “ fixing ” them by pointing out the good things in somebody ’ s life is futile and antagonizing .
7 .
Not everyone with Tourette syndrome randomly yells out obscenities .
8 .
That autism is a condition exclusive to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and girls are extremely under-diagnosed because they learn to camouflage their symptoms early in life .
9 .
Pretty much everything about ADHD .
No , we don ’ t need to just try harder .
No , we don ’ t need ( yuk ) discipline .
It ’ s not made up , there are different types of ADHD , and our meds help us cope in an NT world .
They ’ re not cheating .
10 .
Anxiety isn ’ t just panic attacks and being afraid of everything @ @ @ @ @ @ @ house .
It seems like anxiety isn ’ t taken seriously unless someone is hyperventilating and sobbing and shaking .
Anxiety is your body being in flight or fight mode all the time , for no damn reason , even when your mind is telling you rational things , your body is like LET ’ S GO , WE GOT TA GO NOW .
I have GAD and never feel at ease or safe , and a lot of things are really hard for me , but I make myself go do things @ @ @ @ @ @ @ body is screaming the opposite .
It ’ s exhausting .
But because I seem outgoing and calm , no one ever believes me when I talk about my anxiety .
11 .
That people with schizophrenia are all dangerous and violent .
In reality , people with mental illness , including schizophrenia , are far more likely to be victims of violent crime rather than perpetrators of it .
12 .
It ’ s not true that people with bipolar switch moods on the dot .
13 .
You can tell if @ @ @ @ @ @ @ them .
No , you can ’ t .
Depression doesn ’ t “ have a face.
” Depression is laughing at a joke someone made , smiling on the outside and pretending everything is fine .
Depression isn ’ t always being down and sad .
I ’ ve suffered depression most of my life .
I still go to work every single day with a smile on my face acting happy and cheery when all I want to do is hide in the corner and die .
On the outside , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , there ’ s a fucking war zone with debris and shrapnel flying everywhere with nowhere to hide .
14 .
Anxiety attacks aren ’ t always heavy breathing and rocking back and forth .
Sometimes it ’ s staring at a specific object trying to keep it together and failing miserably in a way no one can see .
Sometimes it ’ s randomly getting snappy and agitated at small things .
And sometimes it ’ s jolting awake in the middle of the night because there ’ s something pressure in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t being fidgety and uncontrollable .
ADHD is staring at an assignment for hours and never processing what it means .
ADHD is overthinking and going into manic episodes every time you receive criticism for the assignments you couldn ’ t complete because of , you guessed it , your disorder .
ADHD is having a million things running through your head and you keep thinking ahead to what you want to say next , to the point where you can ’ t even form a coherent sentence because you get your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ all people with depression are ALWAYS suicidal .
I have extreme depression , but I don ’ t always feel suicidal .
I normally just want to lie down , with a good movie , book , or just to sleep .
17 .
That everyone is a “ little ” bipolar .
Fuck off , you were sad and happy in the same day .
18 .
That only skinny girls can have eating disorders .
Or that men can ’ t have them !
19 .
I hate that people think @ @ @ @ @ @ @ are people that really like a drug or some sort of substance so they do it – this is not the case .
They develop a chemical dependency .
They ( both mentally and physically ) feel worse without it .
So many people throw around I ’ m addicted to this and I ’ m addicted to that – no you just fucking like candy – you aren ’ t going to feel like you ’ re dying if you don ’ t have it .
20 .
That self-harming is done @ @ @ @ @ @ @ load of shit .
Those who have self-harmed will hide their cuts and scars .
21 .
That people with Borderline Personality Disorder are crazy drama queens that only care about themselves .
There are different kinds of BPD .
Some of us are introverted and instead of taking up space , we give it all away .
We ’ re all miserable but not always toxic .
22 .
People with antisocial personality disorder are actually social , talkative , form friendships and relationships , etc .
Most of the time they @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
In truth , I don ’ t think 95 % of people understand what antisocial personality disorder is or how it presents .
23 .
Dyslexic people ( like myself ) being lazy or not bothering to learn how to do things and I hate it that once in a while you will get something right and then everyone will say after well you can do it , you ’ re not trying hard enough .
24 .
People think that borderline personality disorder makes people evil and there ’ s nothing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ actuality is there is an entire type of therapy designed for BPD that is really effective in managing symptoms .
People with BPD aren ’ t monsters .
25 .
Alzheimer ’ s is not just slowly and passively forgetting things .
There is a middle part where the brain realizes something is up and acts up on its own outside the poor sufferer ’ s control .
It ’ s as if one side of the brain is desperately trying to break out while the other has no idea what is going @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ” .
26 .
The assumption that PMDD isn ’ t real because “ most of us have a little PMS ” makes me want to scream .
Yes , a lot of women have PMS , but most women don ’ t fall into suicidal despair 10-14 days of the month , every month , since the time they get their periods until the time they hit menopause , do they ?
Most women don ’ t know the exact moment they enter their luteal phase because a cloud enters their mind @ @ @ @ @ @ @ her period starts , and the wreckage left in her path from those 10-14 days a month looks like a million misdiagnoses before a competent psych sits down with you and asks the right questions , right ?
PMDD is a hell I ’ d wish only on my worst enemy .
I WISH it was just a bad bout of PMS .
27 .
Addicts are lazy , selfish , don ’ t care about anyone but themselves , and choose to drink and use .
I didn ’ t know when @ @ @ @ @ @ @ would destroy my life .
I never thought , “ I can ’ t wait to do shameful things to keep from withdrawal , hurt the people I love the most , and sabotage everything good in my life.
” Certainly , an illness that needs treatment .
28 .
PTSD/CPTSD victims from sexual assault/childhood molestation don ’ t always become asexual and completely turned off from sexuality .
In a lot of cases , hypersexuality is a result and victims ( I speak from experience ) try to recreate the trauma in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ someone had explained this to me in my youth rather than delegitimizing my obsessive , destructive libido , or just broadly categorizing my illness as “ bipolar ” or “ depression ” and not pinning down the specific patterns of behavior and thought that I ’ d go on to spend years of my adult life trying to heal .
Thank god I moved to a really progressive city .
29 .
I can ’ t just snap out of it , get over myself , and stop taking meds for anxiety and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , lazy , or looking for attention .
30 .
That you ’ re condemned to a life of misery .
This goes for a lot of mental illness .
Just because life is going to be harder , doesn ’ t mean it will only be full of unhappiness .

Ask Reddit wants to clear up a few things about mental health.
1. That depression only makes you sad. There is a myriad of other feelings and physical symptoms.
2. Schizophrenics don’t always hear voices. With mine, I hear people trying to break down my door, trying to open my windows, and movement under my house.
3. OCD is not about being tidy and clean. It involves rescuing, intrusive thoughts, and obsessively cleaning is just one of the OCD-related compilations. It can seriously fuck up someone’s life. An example would be turning a light switch on and off 30 times once entering a room or you fear something terrible will happen if you don’t. It really annoys me when someone calls themselves OCD because they like a clean kitchen.
4. Most people with PTSD and/or CPTSD haven’t been in the military or a warzone.
5. Mood/anxiety disorders do not need an objective reason for occurring – you don’t need to have a shit life to be depressed or to be at any actual risk of something bad happening in order to have anxiety. They can just happen randomly or in connection to things that happened far in the past. Therefore, the common notions that someone is ungrateful for being depressed or having anxiety or that they’re faking it because they “have no reason” to suffer from them is absolutely flawed and the attempt at “fixing” them by pointing out the good things in somebody’s life is futile and antagonizing.
6. It’s incorrect that eating disorders are a vanity thing.
7. Not everyone with Tourette syndrome randomly yells out obscenities.
8. That autism is a condition exclusive to boys. The truth is autistic women and girls are extremely under-diagnosed because they learn to camouflage their symptoms early in life.
9. Pretty much everything about ADHD.
No, we don’t need to just try harder.
No, we’re not lazy.
No, we don’t need (yuk) discipline.
It’s not made up, there are different types of ADHD, and our meds help us cope in an NT world. They’re not cheating.
10. Anxiety isn’t just panic attacks and being afraid of everything to the point of not leaving the house.
It seems like anxiety isn’t taken seriously unless someone is hyperventilating and sobbing and shaking.
Anxiety is your body being in flight or fight mode all the time, for no damn reason, even when your mind is telling you rational things, your body is like LET’S GO, WE GOTTA GO NOW.
I have GAD and never feel at ease or safe, and a lot of things are really hard for me, but I make myself go do things and enjoy life, even when my body is screaming the opposite. It’s exhausting. But because I seem outgoing and calm, no one ever believes me when I talk about my anxiety.
11. That people with schizophrenia are all dangerous and violent. In reality, people with mental illness, including schizophrenia, are far more likely to be victims of violent crime rather than perpetrators of it.
12. It’s not true that people with bipolar switch moods on the dot.
13. You can tell if a person is depressed by looking at them. No, you can’t. Depression doesn’t “have a face.” Depression is laughing at a joke someone made, smiling on the outside and pretending everything is fine. Depression isn’t always being down and sad. I’ve suffered depression most of my life. I still go to work every single day with a smile on my face acting happy and cheery when all I want to do is hide in the corner and die. On the outside, nothing is wrong. On the inside, there’s a fucking war zone with debris and shrapnel flying everywhere with nowhere to hide.
14. Anxiety attacks aren’t always heavy breathing and rocking back and forth.
Sometimes it’s staring at a specific object trying to keep it together and failing miserably in a way no one can see. Sometimes it’s randomly getting snappy and agitated at small things. And sometimes it’s jolting awake in the middle of the night because there’s something pressure in your chest.
15. ADHD isn’t being fidgety and uncontrollable. ADHD is staring at an assignment for hours and never processing what it means. ADHD is overthinking and going into manic episodes every time you receive criticism for the assignments you couldn’t complete because of, you guessed it, your disorder. ADHD is having a million things running through your head and you keep thinking ahead to what you want to say next, to the point where you can’t even form a coherent sentence because you get your words mixed up.
ADHD isn’t a quirky, funny thing. It’s hell.
16. That all people with depression are ALWAYS suicidal. I have extreme depression, but I don’t always feel suicidal. I normally just want to lie down, with a good movie, book, or just to sleep.
17. That everyone is a “little” bipolar. Fuck off, you were sad and happy in the same day.
18. That only skinny girls can have eating disorders. Or that men can’t have them!
19. I hate that people think addicts are weak-willed. Everyone thinks addicts are people that really like a drug or some sort of substance so they do it – this is not the case. They develop a chemical dependency. They (both mentally and physically) feel worse without it. So many people throw around I’m addicted to this and I’m addicted to that – no you just fucking like candy – you aren’t going to feel like you’re dying if you don’t have it.
20. That self-harming is done to just get attention. What a load of shit. Those who have self-harmed will hide their cuts and scars.
21. That people with Borderline Personality Disorder are crazy drama queens that only care about themselves. There are different kinds of BPD. Some of us are introverted and instead of taking up space, we give it all away. We’re all miserable but not always toxic.
22. People with antisocial personality disorder are actually social, talkative, form friendships and relationships, etc. Most of the time they are not “antisocial” at all.
In truth, I don’t think 95% of people understand what antisocial personality disorder is or how it presents.
23. Dyslexic people (like myself) being lazy or not bothering to learn how to do things and I hate it that once in a while you will get something right and then everyone will say after well you can do it, you’re not trying hard enough.
24. People think that borderline personality disorder makes people evil and there’s nothing to be done about it. The actuality is there is an entire type of therapy designed for BPD that is really effective in managing symptoms. People with BPD aren’t monsters.
25. Alzheimer’s is not just slowly and passively forgetting things. There is a middle part where the brain realizes something is up and acts up on its own outside the poor sufferer’s control. It’s as if one side of the brain is desperately trying to break out while the other has no idea what is going on… It’s called “Sundowning”.
26. The assumption that PMDD isn’t real because “most of us have a little PMS” makes me want to scream. Yes, a lot of women have PMS, but most women don’t fall into suicidal despair 10-14 days of the month, every month, since the time they get their periods until the time they hit menopause, do they? Most women don’t know the exact moment they enter their luteal phase because a cloud enters their mind that doesn’t let up until her period starts, and the wreckage left in her path from those 10-14 days a month looks like a million misdiagnoses before a competent psych sits down with you and asks the right questions, right? PMDD is a hell I’d wish only on my worst enemy. I WISH it was just a bad bout of PMS.
27. Addicts are lazy, selfish, don’t care about anyone but themselves, and choose to drink and use. I didn’t know when I was 17 that experimenting with drugs would destroy my life. I never thought, “I can’t wait to do shameful things to keep from withdrawal, hurt the people I love the most, and sabotage everything good in my life.” Certainly, an illness that needs treatment.
28. PTSD/CPTSD victims from sexual assault/childhood molestation don’t always become asexual and completely turned off from sexuality. In a lot of cases, hypersexuality is a result and victims (I speak from experience) try to recreate the trauma in their sex lives. I really wish someone had explained this to me in my youth rather than delegitimizing my obsessive, destructive libido, or just broadly categorizing my illness as “bipolar” or “depression” and not pinning down the specific patterns of behavior and thought that I’d go on to spend years of my adult life trying to heal. Thank god I moved to a really progressive city.
29. I can’t just snap out of it, get over myself, and stop taking meds for anxiety and depression. I’m not weak, lazy, or looking for attention.
30. That you’re condemned to a life of misery.
This goes for a lot of mental illness. Just because life is going to be harder, doesn’t mean it will only be full of unhappiness.


thoughtcatalog--2020-10-27--30 Hilarious Family Sayings You Might Want To Steal For Yourself

1 .
Younger Me : “ Dad I don ’ t want to walk downstairs at night .
It ’ s too dark.
” My family ’ s way of saying you had a wedgie , because it looked like there was a goat in your crack eating your pants .
Quite embarrassing when I found out that wasn ’ t a common phrase 3 .
My dad would tell us to “ cough it up , it could be a gold watch ” if you were coughing .
I never understood it .
4 .
My nan used to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the cat ’ s mother ?
’ whenever you told a story with too many pronouns and she lost track of characters .
5 .
When my grandma would say , “ I got a bone in my leg , ” when she asked us kids to fetch stuff for her .
It was her reason for not doing it herself .
I felt so bad for her when I was super small .
I really thought she ’ d hurt her leg or something .
Like , “ Would you bring me @ @ @ @ @ @ @ bone in my leg.
” 6 .
My dad always used “ it ’ s broke with a capital F ” as his way of saying “ it ’ s completely fucked ” but without swearing in front of us as kids .
7 .
Whenever I didn ’ t like something , my dad would say , “ Well it likes you .
It called the other day and said so.
” It could be anything : broccoli , a hamburger , the neighbor ’ s cat .
Whatever I didn ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ he had always gotten a call .
8 .
My mom would always say , “ Don ’ t think about penguins !
” when we got hurt , and we would obviously and immediately start thinking about penguins and why we shouldn ’ t be thinking about them , and we would stop crying .
9 .
Any time I ’ d ask my mom where she was going she ’ d shout , “ Crazy !
Want to go with me ?
” 10 .
My mom said something really funny @ @ @ @ @ @ @ run out .
She said , “ Mirror mirror on the wall , you better fucking lie to me !
” Since then it ’ s stuck and we say it before we leave to go out .
When did he call you ?
At like a million o ’ clock !
12 .
“ I ’ m going to start drinking , and I don ’ t mean diet coke !
” My mom when angry .
13 .
My mom always says , “ I ’ m fucking this monkey , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ when she ’ s doing something and we ’ re helping .
14 .
When I ’ d ask my mom what was for dinner , one of her favorite responses used to be , “ Air pie and wind pudding.
” Never heard anyone else in my life say this .
It means no one really looks closely at you .
16 .
When pulling out of the driveway for a trip : “ And we ’ re off , like a heard of turtles !
” 17 .
One I still @ @ @ @ @ @ @ are you doing ?
Posing for animal crackers ?
” I mean , I understood the meaning but the reference was beyond me .
Basically when I was standing around during work and not doing anything .
18 .
I ’ m sure this is actually super common , but it comes from my Great Grandma .
She only spoke Hungarian and what little English she did know were translations of her favorite Hungarian swears .
She would often call people , especially my father , “ bitch-bastard ” in both languages .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ on that side refer to each other as “ bitch-bastards , ” which does cover most bases .
19 .
Whenever we were to fend for ourselves for dinner , my mom called it “ getchuroni ” ( getchu-your-oni ) .
20 .
When something new turned up and we ’ d ask my dad where it came from his reply was always , “ Stole it from a blind man down on the corner.
” 21 .
I have yet to hear anyone else say it and I stole it from my @ @ @ @ @ @ @ would say , “ It ’ s bucking fusted.
” 22 .
Dad would always say , “ Hotter than a garlic fart.
” Never heard anyone else say that .
23 .
“ Red shoes , no knickers.
” My mum said this , that there ’ s an implication women wearing red shoes weren ’ t wearing any undies .
Still haven ’ t met anyone who has ever heard of it .
24 .
Me : “ What are you doing ?
” 25 .
My step-father would point at @ @ @ @ @ @ @ man , kidneys ” when he got credit for stuff ( answering a trivia question for example ) .
I use it with my students all the time .
26 .
“ Get your poop in a group !
” Ya know , instead of “ Get your shit together.
” 27 .
I used to run a pub .
I had to refuse to serve a rather inebriated young man .
Rather than saying , “ You think you ’ re the best thing since sliced bread , ” he actually said @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a slice of bread.
” Since then , in our family , anytime one of us does something rather clever , we are accused of thinking we are a slice of bread .
28 .
My mom would always say , “ it ’ s behind the milk !
” when we would look for something and couldn ’ t find it .
Inevitably whatever we were looking for one day was simply behind the milk in the fridge and we couldn ’ t find it .
My mom exclaimed this from across @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the exclamation for anything someone is trying to find .
Meaning look harder , actually move other objects instead of just blankly staring .
29 .
As a kid whenever I would say , “ I don ’ t know what to wear !
” my Grandma would say , “ Put a raisin in your belly button and go as a cookie.
” 30 .
My dad is a neurologist .
Anytime I complained that I was bored he would ask me , “ Board-certified ?
” Took years for me to @ @ @ @

These hilarious sayings from Ask Reddit are surprisingly wholesome.
1. Younger Me: “Dad I don’t want to walk downstairs at night. It’s too dark.”
Dad: “There’s no monsters. We can’t afford monsters.”
2. “You got goats.”
My family’s way of saying you had a wedgie, because it looked like there was a goat in your crack eating your pants. Quite embarrassing when I found out that wasn’t a common phrase
3. My dad would tell us to “cough it up, it could be a gold watch” if you were coughing. I never understood it.
4. My nan used to say ‘who’s she, the cat’s mother?’ whenever you told a story with too many pronouns and she lost track of characters.
5. When my grandma would say, “I got a bone in my leg,” when she asked us kids to fetch stuff for her. It was her reason for not doing it herself. I felt so bad for her when I was super small. I really thought she’d hurt her leg or something. Like, “Would you bring me an iced tea? I got a bone in my leg.”
6. My dad always used “it’s broke with a capital F” as his way of saying “it’s completely fucked” but without swearing in front of us as kids.
7. Whenever I didn’t like something, my dad would say, “Well it likes you. It called the other day and said so.” It could be anything: broccoli, a hamburger, the neighbor’s cat. Whatever I didn’t like or want to try, he had always gotten a call.
8. My mom would always say, “Don’t think about penguins!” when we got hurt, and we would obviously and immediately start thinking about penguins and why we shouldn’t be thinking about them, and we would stop crying.
9. Any time I’d ask my mom where she was going she’d shout, “Crazy! Want to go with me?”
10. My mom said something really funny once while we were getting ready to run out. She said, “Mirror mirror on the wall, you better fucking lie to me!” Since then it’s stuck and we say it before we leave to go out.
11. A million o’clock to express “very late.”
When did he call you? At like a million o’clock!
12. “I’m going to start drinking, and I don’t mean diet coke!” My mom when angry.
13. My mom always says, “ I’m fucking this monkey, you just hold the tail,” when she’s doing something and we’re helping.
14. When I’d ask my mom what was for dinner, one of her favorite responses used to be, “Air pie and wind pudding.” Never heard anyone else in my life say this.
15. Mom: You’d never notice on a galloping horse.
It means no one really looks closely at you.
16. When pulling out of the driveway for a trip: “And we’re off, like a heard of turtles!”
17. One I still don’t understand is “What are you doing? Posing for animal crackers?”
I mean, I understood the meaning but the reference was beyond me. Basically when I was standing around during work and not doing anything.
18. I’m sure this is actually super common, but it comes from my Great Grandma. She only spoke Hungarian and what little English she did know were translations of her favorite Hungarian swears. She would often call people, especially my father, “bitch-bastard” in both languages. It stuck and most of my family on that side refer to each other as “bitch-bastards,” which does cover most bases.
19. Whenever we were to fend for ourselves for dinner, my mom called it “getchuroni” (getchu-your-oni).
20. When something new turned up and we’d ask my dad where it came from his reply was always, “Stole it from a blind man down on the corner.”
21. I have yet to hear anyone else say it and I stole it from my dad but if something was broken he would say, “It’s bucking fusted.”
22. Dad would always say, “Hotter than a garlic fart.” Never heard anyone else say that.
23. “Red shoes, no knickers.” My mum said this, that there’s an implication women wearing red shoes weren’t wearing any undies. Still haven’t met anyone who has ever heard of it.
24. Me: “What are you doing?”
Dad, obviously just watching TV: “I’m digging a hole.”
25. My step-father would point at his head and say, “kidneys man, kidneys” when he got credit for stuff (answering a trivia question for example). I use it with my students all the time.
26. “Get your poop in a group!” Ya know, instead of “Get your shit together.”
27. I used to run a pub. I had to refuse to serve a rather inebriated young man. Rather than saying, “You think you’re the best thing since sliced bread,” he actually said: “You think you’re a slice of bread.”
Since then, in our family, anytime one of us does something rather clever, we are accused of thinking we are a slice of bread.
28. My mom would always say, “it’s behind the milk!” when we would look for something and couldn’t find it. Inevitably whatever we were looking for one day was simply behind the milk in the fridge and we couldn’t find it. My mom exclaimed this from across the house in frustration and it became the exclamation for anything someone is trying to find. Meaning look harder, actually move other objects instead of just blankly staring.
29. As a kid whenever I would say, “I don’t know what to wear!” my Grandma would say, “Put a raisin in your belly button and go as a cookie.”
30. My dad is a neurologist. Anytime I complained that I was bored he would ask me, “Board-certified?” Took years for me to finally get it.


thoughtcatalog--2020-10-27--6 Things I Learned From Ignoring My Heart And Avoiding My Feelings

1 .
I learned you ’ re going to have regrets whether you like it or not .
Right now , you might feel like you ’ re doing the right thing by outrunning your emotions , but those emotions are meant to be felt .
You should sit with them , even if they ’ re uncomfortable .
You should analyze them and learn to accept them .
Running from them might work for a while , but they ’ re eventually going to catch up to you .
You ’ re going to have to deal with them @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you to learn how to be emotionally mature at a young age than to get used to running at the first sign you might feel something .
2 .
I learned it ’ s just as painful to pretend you feel nothing .
You might feel like you ’ re saving yourself some trouble by pretending to be heartless and acting like you couldn ’ t care less about what others think , but you ’ re not actually protecting yourself .
You ’ re isolating yourself .
Even though you aren ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ hurt you , you ’ re hurting yourself .
You ’ re going through pain anyway .
You ’ re causing the exact thing that you ’ ve been trying to prevent .
Isn ’ t it better to take a risk on someone , knowing you could potentially end up hurt , than to lock your heart away knowing you ’ re definitely going to be hurt ?
3 .
I learned there ’ s anything embarrassing about acting vulnerable .
Being comfortable expressing your vulnerability is a strength .
You shouldn @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your emotions , about admitting what ’ s on your mind , about feeling in general .
You ’ re human .
You have emotions .
Whether or not you express those emotions makes all the difference .
4 .
I learned it ’ s not fair to you to act like you ’ re okay when you ’ re not .
You ’ re doing yourself a disservice by lying about your feelings .
Lying about being okay means you ’ re settling for less than you deserve .
It means you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ how you expect a change .
Remember , it ’ s not greedy to want a beautiful future for yourself .
It ’ s not selfish to have high expectations for the people surrounding you .
You ’ re allowed to have opinions and thoughts and complaints .
You ’ re allowed to talk about how you feel .
5 .
I learned the right person isn ’ t going to magically make you feel okay with expressing your emotions .
They ’ re going to give you a safe place to express @ @ @ @ @ @ @ encourage you to open up and be patient when you ’ re not ready .
But they can ’ t magically make you feel comfortable doing something you ’ ve never done before .
You have to put in that effort yourself .
You have to decide you ’ re ready .
6.I learned it ’ s never easy to put your heart on the line .
Even if you get into the habit of being more open about your emotions and telling the world how you feel , it ’ s not @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s not always going to be easy to do .
However , it will be worth the trouble .
The risk will be worth the reward .
You don ’ t have to shout your feelings into the open after an entire lifetime of locking your emotions inside , but you should consider letting your guard down for the right people .
You ’ ll be surprised by how refreshing it feels .

1. I learned you’re going to have regrets whether you like it or not. Right now, you might feel like you’re doing the right thing by outrunning your emotions, but those emotions are meant to be felt. You should sit with them, even if they’re uncomfortable. You should analyze them and learn to accept them. Running from them might work for a while, but they’re eventually going to catch up to you. You’re going to have to deal with them eventually. It’s better for you to learn how to be emotionally mature at a young age than to get used to running at the first sign you might feel something.
2. I learned it’s just as painful to pretend you feel nothing. You might feel like you’re saving yourself some trouble by pretending to be heartless and acting like you couldn’t care less about what others think, but you’re not actually protecting yourself. You’re isolating yourself. Even though you aren’t giving anyone else the chance to hurt you, you’re hurting yourself. You’re going through pain anyway. You’re causing the exact thing that you’ve been trying to prevent. Isn’t it better to take a risk on someone, knowing you could potentially end up hurt, than to lock your heart away knowing you’re definitely going to be hurt?
3. I learned there’s anything embarrassing about acting vulnerable. Being comfortable expressing your vulnerability is a strength. You shouldn’t be embarrassed about talking through your emotions, about admitting what’s on your mind, about feeling in general. You’re human. You have emotions. Whether or not you express those emotions makes all the difference.
4. I learned it’s not fair to you to act like you’re okay when you’re not. You’re doing yourself a disservice by lying about your feelings. Lying about being okay means you’re settling for less than you deserve. It means you aren’t speaking up and explaining how you expect a change. Remember, it’s not greedy to want a beautiful future for yourself. It’s not selfish to have high expectations for the people surrounding you. You’re allowed to have opinions and thoughts and complaints. You’re allowed to talk about how you feel.
5. I learned the right person isn’t going to magically make you feel okay with expressing your emotions. They’re going to give you a safe place to express yourself. They’re going to encourage you to open up and be patient when you’re not ready. But they can’t magically make you feel comfortable doing something you’ve never done before. You have to put in that effort yourself. You have to decide you’re ready.
6.I learned it’s never easy to put your heart on the line. Even if you get into the habit of being more open about your emotions and telling the world how you feel, it’s not always going to feel comfortable. It’s not always going to be easy to do. However, it will be worth the trouble. The risk will be worth the reward. You don’t have to shout your feelings into the open after an entire lifetime of locking your emotions inside, but you should consider letting your guard down for the right people. You’ll be surprised by how refreshing it feels.


thoughtcatalog--2020-10-27--What Each Zodiac Hates The Most About Being Sick

You hate feeling unproductive .
You hate knowing you could be doing other things but are too tired to accomplish them .
You hate not being able to kiss your partner .
You hate keeping your distance to avoid getting them sick , too .
You hate not physically being able to do the things you ’ re mentally interested in doing .
You hate how helpless you feel .
You hate relying on others to help you .
You hate forcing them to go to the store for you and cook for you and pour medicine for you .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ struck with when you ’ re sick .
You feel like you ’ re missing out on something exciting .
You hate feeling lazy .
You know you ’ re only listening to your body and doing the right thing , but you can ’ t shake the guilt you feel .
You hate catching yourself in the mirror .
You hate looking as bad as you feel .
You hate wondering whether your boss is going to be mad you ’ re missing work .
You hate feeling like you aren ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ way other people look down on you for being sick , as if it ’ s your fault .
You hate missing work and/or class .
You hate feeling like you ’ re falling behind .
You hate that you don ’ t get to enjoy your time off because you ’ re miserable .
You hate you ’ re finally getting a break and it sucks .
You hate spending hours and hours asleep .
You hate feeling like you wasted a perfectly good day .

Aries
You hate feeling unproductive. You hate knowing you could be doing other things but are too tired to accomplish them.
Taurus
You hate not being able to kiss your partner. You hate keeping your distance to avoid getting them sick, too.
Gemini
You hate not physically being able to do the things you’re mentally interested in doing. You hate how helpless you feel.
Cancer
You hate relying on others to help you. You hate forcing them to go to the store for you and cook for you and pour medicine for you.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
Leo
You hate the FOMO you’re struck with when you’re sick. You feel like you’re missing out on something exciting.
Virgo
You hate feeling lazy. You know you’re only listening to your body and doing the right thing, but you can’t shake the guilt you feel.
Libra
You hate catching yourself in the mirror. You hate looking as bad as you feel.
Scorpio
You hate wondering whether your boss is going to be mad you’re missing work. You hate feeling like you aren’t meeting expectations.
Sagittarius
You hate the way other people look down on you for being sick, as if it’s your fault.
Capricorn
You hate missing work and/or class. You hate feeling like you’re falling behind.
Aquarius
You hate that you don’t get to enjoy your time off because you’re miserable. You hate you’re finally getting a break and it sucks.
Pisces
You hate spending hours and hours asleep. You hate feeling like you wasted a perfectly good day.


thoughtcatalog--2020-10-28--A History Of Haunted Places

A History Of Haunted Places

My family is from a small town that ’ s always felt haunted .
I ’ m not sure if it ’ s because of the abandoned wheat mill that welcomes you into town , or because of the rows of buildings farther in that have been burned and gutted , or maybe just because historical towns always sort of feel a little eerie to me .
Every abandoned street I passed felt like a portal to another dimension .
In that small town was a large graveyard where my cousins and I would loiter when we had nothing better @ @ @ @ @ @ @ into our coats and walk the half mile there , sucking on cigarettes we smuggled in our pockets , talking shit about anyone and anything .
We ’ d stop to say prayers over the fresh graves and salute the tombstones as we ’ d pass by , calling out the names that hadn ’ t yet been worn away by the elements .
I sometimes wondered if we were the last people on Earth who would ever speak them .
I was less afraid of the graveyard than I was my grandparents @ @ @ @ @ @ @ red and rotting , like a barn house lost in time , its decor wrought iron and baroque .
It was in that house that my cousins would pile into the basement with a flashlight , intent on sleeping together on the ground but always chickening out once the clock struck midnight and the walls began to groan .
It was in that house that my cousin claimed she saw something so disturbing in the middle of the night that she rushed to the bathroom to vomit , refusing to ever speak of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that house that they found my grandfather dead near the fireplace .
After that , we stayed away from that corner of the room , worried it might be cursed , though my eyes would always drift toward it nonetheless .
It was in that house that I swore I saw each of my grandparents for the last time .
I tell people it was when I visited each of them right before their respective deaths , but that isn ’ t true .
For my grandfather , it was just a week @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in the door and swore I saw him sitting in his usual chair at the dining room table .
For my grandmother , it was nearly a month after her funeral , when I was going through boxes in the garage and swore I saw her reflection in the mirror hanging from the door .
Both times , the moment passed and everything quickly returned to normal , though I somehow felt changed .
Perhaps grief plays tricks on our minds .
Perhaps it convinces us to see what we want to see @ @ @ @ @ @ @ grandparents were still there somewhere , hovering in the corners of the room .
But it feels too coincidental that I happened to see both of them in that same house , under almost the exact same circumstances , and that I never saw either of them again .
I ’ d like to think it was just their way of saying goodbye .
My best friend didn ’ t tell me her house was haunted , but somehow I knew .
Maybe it was because the largest graveyard in the city sprawled @ @ @ @ @ @ @ always visible from the porch .
Or maybe it ’ s because when you get to know a place so intimately , it ’ s impossible not to know .
Throughout the years , that house became my respite when my own family drama became too much to handle , a safe space when life became too difficult .
That didn ’ t change the fact that something about the house seemed totally , undeniably off .
It started out with doorways I refused to walk through and certain corners of the house @ @ @ @ @ @ @ face .
Logically , there was no reason why ; it was simply a gut feeling so strong I could do nothing but listen to it .
Later , I ’ d notice how doors closed on their own and footsteps echoed when no one else was home ; some rooms seemed to heat up with every passing moment until you could no longer bear to stay .
“ Oh yeah , it ’ s definitely haunted , ” my friend said when I finally confronted her about it .
“ We just @ @ @ @ @ @ @ too much.
” Still , I managed to siphon a few stories out of her , about orbs hovering on the walls and disembodied voices calling her name .
“ We ’ re not sure what or who they are , ” she admitted to me , “ but I don ’ t think they belong here.
” Every time I entered the house after that , I was all too aware that there were things I couldn ’ t see that were lurking in the corners .
Still , over time , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ more just how things were .
I only chuckled when my friend texted me , “ I ’ m home alone watching Parks and Rec and I heard something behind me laugh.
” When a mutual friend told me she swore she saw someone in the backyard who disappeared as soon as she stepped outside , I hardly batted an eye .
And when my friend ’ s sister admitted their family avoided all the same corners of the house that I did , I was surprised , but not shocked .
The @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to all of us in the same ways .
I always said I could never be the kind of person who lived in a haunted house .
Every time I watch a horror movie with a similar premise , I cringe at the family ’ s stupidity .
So why don ’ t I feel the same way about this particular house ?
I ’ ve spent holidays around the kitchen table and turned 26 on the living room couch .
I ’ ve even lived there for short periods of time , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ as if I weren ’ t sharing the room with who knows how many other entities .
Despite everything , I ’ ve always felt strangely safe there .
Perhaps it ’ s because we have something in common , the ghosts and I—we have become fixtures in that house , interlopers that found reprieve and then never found the heart to leave .
In life and in death , when we had nowhere else to go , it became our secondary home .
For our last day in Prague , my friend @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to the Terezin ghetto and concentration camp .
It was just days after the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville filled American newsreels with Nazi iconography .
When the opportunity to travel there was presented to us , more than a coincidence , it felt like a call to action .
Even years later , it ’ s hard to write about .
I can not describe the sorrow that washes over you as soon as you walk in through the gate .
There are some places so heavy it ’ s difficult @ @ @ @ @ @ @ room inside the camp , my friend stopped short , shook her head .
“ We can ’ t go in here , ” she said gravely .
There were no signs telling us we weren ’ t allowed to , but some things you can just feel .
We later found out that ’ s where prisoners had been sent to be tortured .
Perhaps history never haunts us the way it ought to—at least , not until we ’ re standing in the midst of it .
Perhaps we distance ourselves @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the burden of it .
We attempt to wash our hands of it , not realizing that the ghosts of the past never really leave us , not realizing that by ignoring their presence , we may be doomed to relive the worst of it again and again .
Nearly two decades ago , when my sister got back from her trip to Georgia , she rushed over to me with a newly-developed package of photos .
“ You have to see this , ” she told me excitedly , thumbing through the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ was looking for—it was almost entirely pitch black except for the vaguely human-like figure glowing on the far right side of the frame .
“ Our tour guide told us that if we took pictures in the graveyard at night , we might capture a spirit .
Look !
” The photograph shook me to my core .
I couldn ’ t stop thinking about it .
I swore to myself that I ’ d never go to Georgia , not for any reason at all .
I told myself I ’ d @ @ @ @ @ @ @ my life .
But still , every few days , I ’ d ask my sister if I could see the picture again .
I still think of the picture often .
Every time I travel , it flits through my mind .
Maybe that ’ s why I find myself gravitating toward haunted places—the church crypts in Boston , the burial grounds in Philadelphia , the old town in Stockholm .
I went on a ghost tour through New Orleans , even though I had to down two hurricanes to convince myself @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I lived in Florence , I indulged in every ghost story the locals would offer me , even when it left me avoiding certain roads .
Some cities just seem to be teeming with ghosts , and no matter how hard I try , I can not ignore them .
What is with our strange fascination with the dead ?
Why do we find ourselves drawn to them , even when they terrify us ?
Is it something existential , our need to understand what comes next ?
Do we find a strange @ @ @ @ @ @ @ some people never seem to leave ?
Is there relief in the fact that we may be more than skin and bone ?
Or does the presence of the dead—and the adrenaline from each encounter—simply reaffirm the fact that we are , indeed , alive ?
I wish I could answer this .
I ’ m still trying to unravel my own relationship with the macabre , with the ghost stories I both can ’ t stand and can ’ t help but obsess over .
All I know is that I never @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Against all odds , I ’ ve found myself in more graveyards than I can count—and yes , I even went to Georgia—and each time , I held my camera close , wondering if this time I ’ d capture my own spirit .
Growing up , I had a friend who swore she could see ghosts .
I never knew if I believed her , but I always grew nervous when we were talking and her eyes would wander off , tracking something I couldn ’ t see .
She ’ d @ @ @ @ @ @ @ eventually , as if to ensure me that everything was okay .
We used to lie on her bed as she recounted each encounter , explaining what each spirit looked like , about what they said .
She told me their names and stories , of which I now only remember a few .
But there ’ s one I still think of often : A little girl who lurked on the street corner , alone and certainly dead .
“ I think she just wants to talk to someone , ” my @ @ @ @ @ @ @ She seems so excited when I notice her.
” It ’ s sadder when you think of it that way—a little girl far from home , lost , unable to communicate with anyone at all .
A little girl lonely on the street corner , just waiting for someone ’ s gaze to focus on her and finally , finally , see her .
Sometimes when I ’ m sad , I get in my car and drive .
I rarely have a destination , but I always end up in the same @ @ @ @ @ @ @ school used to stand , at the park where my childhood friend and I used to take pictures of each other , outside the coffee shop where I used to meet up weekly with someone I no longer talk to .
I drive around in circles , stuck in a merry-go-round of nostalgia , drawn by some force of gravity I can not explain .
I ’ ve written countless eulogies to each of these places , waxing poetic about what they once meant to me .
Or maybe I ’ m writing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be when I frequented them .
Sometimes the past versions of myself feel like ghosts , dead and gone but somehow still there , an energetic impression in the atmosphere .
I am no longer a part of them , but sometimes I grieve for them still .
They were so young then , unaware that someday those moments would come to pass , that those once-sacred sites would become nothing more than a graveyard of memories .
With time , even those versions of me begin to fade away .
Maybe that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fascinated by haunted places .
Every corner of the Earth was once frequented by something that ’ s no longer there .
In our memories , we still walk down roads we ’ ll never see again , sit in rooms we hardly remember , take in sights that once took our breaths away .
How could we possibly mean so little to places that once meant so much to us ?
I can not fathom it .
I ’ d like to believe we all leave something behind , more than just @ @ @ @ @ @ @ something just physical .
I ’ d like to believe these haunted places still remember us .

My family is from a small town that’s always felt haunted. I’m not sure if it’s because of the abandoned wheat mill that welcomes you into town, or because of the rows of buildings farther in that have been burned and gutted, or maybe just because historical towns always sort of feel a little eerie to me. Every abandoned street I passed felt like a portal to another dimension.
In that small town was a large graveyard where my cousins and I would loiter when we had nothing better to do. We’d bundle into our coats and walk the half mile there, sucking on cigarettes we smuggled in our pockets, talking shit about anyone and anything. We’d stop to say prayers over the fresh graves and salute the tombstones as we’d pass by, calling out the names that hadn’t yet been worn away by the elements. I sometimes wondered if we were the last people on Earth who would ever speak them.
I was less afraid of the graveyard than I was my grandparents’ house. It was large and red and rotting, like a barn house lost in time, its decor wrought iron and baroque. It was in that house that my cousins would pile into the basement with a flashlight, intent on sleeping together on the ground but always chickening out once the clock struck midnight and the walls began to groan. It was in that house that my cousin claimed she saw something so disturbing in the middle of the night that she rushed to the bathroom to vomit, refusing to ever speak of that moment again. It was in that house that they found my grandfather dead near the fireplace. After that, we stayed away from that corner of the room, worried it might be cursed, though my eyes would always drift toward it nonetheless.
It was in that house that I swore I saw each of my grandparents for the last time. I tell people it was when I visited each of them right before their respective deaths, but that isn’t true. For my grandfather, it was just a week after he died, when I walked in the door and swore I saw him sitting in his usual chair at the dining room table. For my grandmother, it was nearly a month after her funeral, when I was going through boxes in the garage and swore I saw her reflection in the mirror hanging from the door. Both times, the moment passed and everything quickly returned to normal, though I somehow felt changed.
Perhaps grief plays tricks on our minds. Perhaps it convinces us to see what we want to see. Perhaps I wanted to believe my grandparents were still there somewhere, hovering in the corners of the room. But it feels too coincidental that I happened to see both of them in that same house, under almost the exact same circumstances, and that I never saw either of them again. I’d like to think it was just their way of saying goodbye.
* * *
My best friend didn’t tell me her house was haunted, but somehow I knew. Maybe it was because the largest graveyard in the city sprawled up into her backyard, its tombstones always visible from the porch. Or maybe it’s because when you get to know a place so intimately, it’s impossible not to know. Throughout the years, that house became my respite when my own family drama became too much to handle, a safe space when life became too difficult. That didn’t change the fact that something about the place seemed totally, undeniably off.
It started out with doorways I refused to walk through and certain corners of the house I couldn’t bring myself to face. Logically, there was no reason why; it was simply a gut feeling so strong I could do nothing but listen to it. Later, I’d notice how doors closed on their own and footsteps echoed when no one else was home; some rooms seemed to heat up with every passing moment until you could no longer bear to stay. “Oh yeah, it’s definitely haunted,” my friend said when I finally confronted her about it. “We just don’t like talking about it too much.” Still, I managed to siphon a few stories out of her, about orbs hovering on the walls and disembodied voices calling her name. “We’re not sure what or who they are,” she admitted to me, “but I don’t think they belong here.”
Every time I entered the house after that, I was all too aware that there were things I couldn’t see that were lurking in the corners. Still, over time, it became less of a novelty and more just how things were. I only chuckled when my friend texted me, “I’m home alone watching Parks and Rec and I heard something behind me laugh.” When a mutual friend told me she swore she saw someone in the backyard who disappeared as soon as she stepped outside, I hardly batted an eye. And when my friend’s sister admitted their family avoided all the same corners of the house that I did, I was surprised, but not shocked. The house—and whatever lived in it—seemed to speak to all of us in the same ways.
I always said I could never be the kind of person who lived in a haunted house. Every time I watch a horror movie with a similar premise, I cringe at the inhabitants’ stupidity. So why don’t I feel the same way about this particular house? I’ve spent holidays around the kitchen table and turned 26 on the living room couch. I’ve even lived there for short periods of time, going about my day as normal, as if I weren’t sharing the room with who knows how many other entities. Despite everything, I’ve always felt strangely safe there. Perhaps it’s because we have something in common, the ghosts and I—we have become fixtures in that house, interlopers that found reprieve and then never found the heart to leave. In life and in death, when we had nowhere else to go, it became our secondary home.
* * *
For our last day in Prague, my friend and I decided to take a trip to the Terezin ghetto and concentration camp. It was just days after the Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville filled American newsreels with Nazi iconography. When the opportunity to travel there was presented to us, more than a coincidence, it felt like a call to action.
Even years later, it’s hard to write about. I cannot describe the sorrow that washes over you as soon as you walk in through the gate. There are some places so heavy it’s difficult even to breathe. In one particular room inside the camp, my friend stopped short, shook her head. “We can’t go in here,” she said gravely. There were no signs telling us we weren’t allowed to, but some things you can just feel. We later found out that’s where prisoners had been sent to be tortured.
Perhaps history never haunts us the way it ought to—at least, not until we’re standing in the midst of it. Perhaps we distance ourselves from it so as not to feel the burden of it. We attempt to wash our hands of it, not realizing that the ghosts of the past never really leave us, not realizing that by ignoring their presence, we may be doomed to relive the worst of it again and again.
* * *
Nearly two decades ago, when my sister got back from her trip to Georgia, she rushed over to me with a newly-developed package of photos. “You have to see this,” she told me excitedly, thumbing through the pictures until she found the one she was looking for—it was almost entirely pitch black except for the vaguely human-like figure glowing on the far right side of the frame. “Our tour guide told us that if we took pictures in the graveyard at night, we might capture a spirit. Look!”
The photograph shook me to my core. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I swore to myself that I’d never go to Georgia, not for any reason at all. I told myself I’d avoid all graveyards for the rest of my life. But still, every few days, I’d ask my sister if I could see the picture again.
I still think of the picture often. Every time I travel, it flits through my mind. Maybe that’s why I find myself gravitating toward haunted places—the church crypts in Boston, the burial grounds in Philadelphia, The Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, the old town in Stockholm. I went on a ghost tour through New Orleans, even though I had to down two hurricanes to convince myself to go through with it. When I lived in Florence, I indulged in every ghost story the locals would offer me, even when it left me avoiding certain roads. Some cities just seem to be teeming with ghosts, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot ignore them.
What is with our strange fascination with the dead? Why do we find ourselves drawn to them, even when they terrify us? Is it something existential, our need to understand what comes next? Do we find a strange, chilling comfort in the fact that some people never seem to leave? Is there relief in the fact that we may be more than skin and bone? Or does the presence of the dead—and the adrenaline from each encounter—simply reaffirm the fact that we are, indeed, alive?
I wish I could answer this. I’m still trying to unravel my own relationship with the macabre, with the ghost stories I both can’t stand and can’t help but obsess over. All I know is that I never was able to keep my promise. Against all odds, I’ve found myself in more graveyards than I can count—and yes, I even went to Georgia—and each time, I held my camera close, wondering if this time I’d capture my own spirit.
* * *
Growing up, I had a friend who swore she could see ghosts. I never knew if I believed her, but I always grew nervous when we were talking and her eyes would wander off, tracking something I couldn’t see. She’d always turn back and smile at me eventually, as if to ensure me that everything was okay.
We used to lie on her bed as she recounted each encounter, explaining what each spirit looked like, what they said. She told me their names and stories, of which I now only remember a few. But there’s one I still think of often: A little girl who lurked on the street corner, alone and certainly dead. “I think she just wants to talk to someone,” my friend admitted to me once. “She seems so excited when I notice her.”
It’s sadder when you think of it that way—a little girl far from home, lost, unable to communicate with anyone at all. A little girl lonely on the street corner, just waiting for someone’s gaze to focus on her and finally, finally, see her. Every time I pass that street corner now, I turn my head and nod. Just in case.
* * *
Sometimes when I’m sad, I get in my car and drive. I rarely have a destination, but I always end up in the same places—on the street where my old elementary school used to stand, at the park where my childhood friend and I used to take pictures of each other, outside the coffee shop where I used to meet up weekly with someone I no longer talk to. I drive around in circles, stuck in a merry-go-round of nostalgia, drawn by some force of gravity I cannot explain.
I’ve written countless eulogies to each of these places, waxing poetic about what they once meant to me. Or maybe I’m writing eulogies to the person I used to be when I frequented them. Sometimes the past versions of myself feel like ghosts, dead and gone but somehow still there, an energetic impression in the atmosphere. I am no longer a part of them, but sometimes I grieve for them still. They were so young then, unaware that someday those moments would come to pass, that those once-sacred sites would become nothing more than a graveyard of memories. With time, even those versions of me begin to fade away.
Maybe that’s why I’m so fascinated by haunted places. Every corner of the Earth was once frequented by something that’s no longer there. In our memories, we still walk down roads we’ll never see again, sit in rooms we hardly remember, take in sights that once took our breaths away. How could we possibly mean so little to places that once meant so much to us? I cannot fathom it.
I’d like to believe we all leave something behind, more than just skin cells and fingerprints, more than something just physical. I’d like to believe these haunted places still remember us.