thoughtcatalog--2020-12-28--7 Powerful, Inspirational Lessons From ‘Breaking Bad’

1 .
“ You need to stop focusing on the darkness behind you .
The past is the past .
Nothing can change what we ’ ve done.
” — Walter White Everyone makes mistakes .
You can ’ t spend your whole life dwelling on your regrets .
You can ’ t allow your mind to remain anchored to your past instead of focusing on the present .
You need to put effort into healing so you can move on with your life .
You need to say goodbye to yesterday so you can get ready for tomorrow .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ have sex once if it ’ s the same thing ?
Should we just watch one sunset ?
Or live just one day ?
Because it ’ s new every time .
Each time is a new experience.
” — Jane Margolis Not every single day is meant to be an adventure .
Even though you might feel like you ’ re living through the same routine day after day , there are still little pieces of beauty to be found in the everday .
You ’ re never going to have the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ live in the moment .
You should treasure it while it lasts .
You can ’ t talk sense into some people .
You can ’ t make them see reason .
You can ’ t save them from themselves .
Sometimes , you have to step aside and let them live their own lives , even though it might hurt like hell to watch them go .
4 .
“ Every life comes with a death sentence .
So , every few months I come in here for my regular scan knowing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , maybe even today—I ’ m gon na hear some bad news .
But until then , who ’ s in charge ?
Me .
That ’ s how I live my life.
” — Walter White Sometimes , bad things happen to good people .
You can ’ t control what the universe throws at you .
And you can ’ t control other people .
But you are in complete and total control of yourself .
You get to decide how you ’ re going to spend the rest of your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ own choices , so make some good ones .
5 .
“ I have spent my whole life scared – frightened of things that could happen , might happen , might not happen .
Fifty years I spent like that… What I came to realize is that fear , that ’ s the worst of it .
That ’ s the real enemy .
So , get up , get out in the real world and you kick that bastard as hard you can right in the teeth.
” – Walter White You @ @ @ @ @ @ @ control of you .
You can not allow your doubts to trick you into giving up on yourself .
You need to push aside your worries and your insecurities .
You need to have faith in yourself and tell your fears to go screw themselves .
6 .
“ The moral of the story is : I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way .
I ’ ll never make that mistake again .
No more half measures.
” — Mike Ehrmantraut If you want something badly enough @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it .
Pour all of your effort into making your dreams come true .
Yes , it might be risky , but some risks are willing to take .
Some risks are going to lead you toward greatness .
7 .
“ It is growth , then decay , then transformation .
It is fascinating , really.
” — Walter White You ’ re going to make mistakes .
You ’ re going to face hardships .
You ’ re going to have rough days .
However , you ’ re also going @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to change .
You ’ re going to transform into a stronger version of yourself over time .
You ’ re getting there , slowly .

1. “You need to stop focusing on the darkness behind you. The past is the past. Nothing can change what we’ve done.” — Walter White
Everyone makes mistakes. You can’t spend your whole life dwelling on your regrets. You can’t allow your mind to remain anchored to your past instead of focusing on the present. You need to put effort into healing so you can move on with your life. You need to say goodbye to yesterday so you can get ready for tomorrow.
2. “Maybe we should only have sex once if it’s the same thing? Should we just watch one sunset? Or live just one day? Because it’s new every time. Each time is a new experience.” — Jane Margolis
Not every single day is meant to be an adventure. Even though you might feel like you’re living through the same routine day after day, there are still little pieces of beauty to be found in the everday. You’re never going to have the same exact experience twice so you should live in the moment. You should treasure it while it lasts.
3. “Some people are immune to good advice.” — Saul Goodman
You can’t talk sense into some people. You can’t make them see reason. You can’t save them from themselves. Sometimes, you have to step aside and let them live their own lives, even though it might hurt like hell to watch them go.
4. “Every life comes with a death sentence. So, every few months I come in here for my regular scan knowing full well that one of these times—hell, maybe even today—I’m gonna hear some bad news. But until then, who’s in charge? Me. That’s how I live my life.” — Walter White
Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. You can’t control what the universe throws at you. And you can’t control other people. But you are in complete and total control of yourself. You get to decide how you’re going to spend the rest of your life. You get to make your own choices, so make some good ones.
5. “I have spent my whole life scared – frightened of things that could happen, might happen, might not happen. Fifty years I spent like that… What I came to realize is that fear, that’s the worst of it. That’s the real enemy. So, get up, get out in the real world and you kick that bastard as hard you can right in the teeth.” – Walter White
You cannot allow your fear to take control of you. You cannot allow your doubts to trick you into giving up on yourself. You need to push aside your worries and your insecurities. You need to have faith in yourself and tell your fears to go screw themselves.
6. “The moral of the story is: I chose a half measure when I should have gone all the way. I’ll never make that mistake again. No more half measures.” — Mike Ehrmantraut
If you want something badly enough, then you need to chase after it. Pour all of your effort into making your dreams come true. Yes, it might be risky, but some risks are willing to take. Some risks are going to lead you toward greatness.
7. “It is growth, then decay, then transformation. It is fascinating, really.” — Walter White
You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to face hardships. You’re going to have rough days. However, you’re also going to grow. You’re going to change. You’re going to transform into a stronger version of yourself over time. You’re getting there, slowly.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-28--Honestly, I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore

Honestly, I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore

“ I hate how I don ’ t feel real enough unless people are watching.
” — Every once in a while , I scroll through social media to look at myself through someone else ’ s eyes .
I wonder what they ’ re thinking with each update , wonder what story each picture tells .
It ’ s easy to make your life appear a certain way online , with the screen as your separator .
Some people will be able to see past the performance , but others will believe it .
Even family .
Even friends @ @ @ @ @ @ @ not have talked to you in a while — but they ’ ll assume they know exactly what you ’ ve been up to because they ’ ve seen the posts .
They ’ ll assume they haven ’ t missed a thing .
They ’ ll assume they ’ re caught up on your life when they don ’ t know the half of it .
They ’ ll think what they want to think .
“ I wonder if I ’ ve been changed in the night .
Let me think @ @ @ @ @ @ @ got up this morning ?
I almost think I can remember feeling a little different .
But if I ’ m not the same , the next question is ‘ Who in the world am I ? '
” — Lewis Caroll , Alice ’ s Adventures in Wonderland I feel like a completely different person than the girl I was in my younger days , my high school days , my crying-in-front-of-the-mirror-every-single-morning days .
I feel so detached from my old self that I can look at her as another person .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ who didn ’ t realize how beautiful life could get — or how cruel it could be .
It ’ s always a shock when people comment on how little I ’ ve changed .
It ’ s weird that they can spot me in a crowd , recognize me straightaway , when the girl they ’ re looking at is absolutely nothing like the one they think they knew .
I ’ m not her anymore and it ’ s almost insulting when people think we ’ re one and the same @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , of course .
I should love every piece of me , even the parts that no longer exist .
But that ’ s not the case .
Learning to love myself in the present is strenuous enough .
“ It ’ s a very difficult era in which to be a person , just a real , actual person , instead of a collection of personality traits selected from an endless Automat of characters .
And if all of us are play-acting , there can be no such thing as a soul @ @ @ @ @ @ @ have genuine souls .
It had gotten to the point where it seemed like nothing matters , because I ’ m not a real person and neither is anyone else.
” — Gillian Flynn , Gone Girl I used to think that my stubbornness meant that I didn ’ t care about anyone else ’ s opinion , that I had such a concrete identity that no one could budge it .
But I ’ m slowly realizing that society has shaped me in a million different ways .
It ’ s swayed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ without me consciously realizing what was happening .
The problem is… realizing I ’ ve been wrong about certain aspects of myself hasn ’ t given me a magical aha moment .
It ’ s only made me more lost .
If I was so sure about who I was yesterday and was wrong — then how the hell am I supposed to trust myself today ?
My own brain is an unreliable narrator .
Untrustworthy .
Unsure .
My favorite books to read are thrillers , stories that warn you not to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in bed because you can never truly know another person .
They could be a monster in disguise .
They could be the killer in the last chapter .
But what happens when the person you don ’ t know is yourself ?

“I hate how I don’t feel real enough unless people are watching.” — Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
Every once in a while, I scroll through social media to look at myself through someone else’s eyes. I wonder what they’re thinking with each update, wonder what story each picture tells. It’s easy to make your life appear a certain way online, with the screen as your separator.
Some people will be able to see past the performance, but others will believe it. Even family. Even friends. The people closest to you might not have talked to you in a while — but they’ll assume they know exactly what you’ve been up to because they’ve seen the posts. They’ll assume they haven’t missed a thing. They’ll assume they’re caught up on your life when they don’t know the half of it.
They’ll think what they want to think.
“I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night. Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I’m not the same, the next question is ‘Who in the world am I?'” — Lewis Caroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
I feel like a completely different person than the girl I was in my younger days, my high school days, my crying-in-front-of-the-mirror-every-single-morning days. I feel so detached from my old self that I can look at her as another person. A person to pity. A person who didn’t realize how beautiful life could get — or how cruel it could be.
It’s always a shock when people comment on how little I’ve changed. It’s weird that they can spot me in a crowd, recognize me straightaway, when the girl they’re looking at is absolutely nothing like the one they think they knew. I’m not her anymore and it’s almost insulting when people think we’re one and the same.
It shouldn’t be insulting, of course. I should love every piece of me, even the parts that no longer exist. But that’s not the case. Learning to love myself in the present is strenuous enough.
“It’s a very difficult era in which to be a person, just a real, actual person, instead of a collection of personality traits selected from an endless Automat of characters. And if all of us are play-acting, there can be no such thing as a soul mate, because we don’t have genuine souls. It had gotten to the point where it seemed like nothing matters, because I’m not a real person and neither is anyone else.” — Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
I used to think that my stubbornness meant that I didn’t care about anyone else’s opinion, that I had such a concrete identity that no one could budge it. But I’m slowly realizing that society has shaped me in a million different ways. It’s swayed me into believing certain ‘truths’ without me consciously realizing what was happening.
The problem is… realizing I’ve been wrong about certain aspects of myself hasn’t given me a magical aha moment. It’s only made me more lost.
If I was so sure about who I was yesterday and was wrong — then how the hell am I supposed to trust myself today? My own brain is an unreliable narrator. Untrustworthy. Unsure.
My favorite books to read are thrillers, stories that warn you not to trust the person sleeping next to you in bed because you can never truly know another person. They could be a monster in disguise. They could be the killer in the last chapter.
But what happens when the person you don’t know is yourself?


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-28--10 Small, Realistic Goals You Should Set For 2021

1 .
Keeping yourself safe .
Drinking enough water .
Eating enough .
Exercising enough .
Visiting the doctor often enough .
Taking care of your basic needs .
Before you worry about anything else , you need to make sure that your body stays as healthy as possible so you can live a long , fulfilled life .
2 .
Spending time away from technology .
You don ’ t have to delete your social media accounts or get rid of your wi-fi .
You can simply cut down on how much time you spend in front of a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ before bed or during breaks at work , save it for a specific time .
That way , you ’ ll have something to look forward to doing , but you won ’ t spend as much time doing it .
3 .
Staying true to yourself .
Wearing clothes that fit your style instead of wearing what you ’ re expected to wear .
Sticking to your opinion even when other people try to make fun of you for your interests .
Surrounding yourself with people who make you feel comfortable enough @ @ @ @ @ @ @ something new .
Baking snacks you ’ ve never created before .
Playing a type of video game you ’ ve never tried .
Signing up for a club that takes you out of your comfort zone .
You don ’ t have to move across the globe or quit your job to start exploring new sides of yourself .
You can start small .
5 .
Taking care of your mental health .
Even if you can ’ t afford to see a therapist , you can start a journal to write @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your habits .
You can open up to a trusted friend or family member .
You can learn to meditate and perform deep breathing exercises .
You can work toward a healthier future .
6 .
Helping those in need .
You can donate food .
You can donate money .
You can sign petitions .
You can spread awareness through social media .
There are plenty of little things you can do to help your community , even without leaving the house .
7 .
Learning more about the universe .
You @ @ @ @ @ @ @ genre .
You can follow people on social media who post interesting facts or stories you ’ ve never heard .
You can listen to podcasts .
You can take virtual classes .
You can watch documentaries .
You can expand your knowledge in a million different ways .
8 .
Remaining grateful .
Even though you ’ re allowed to be sad when bad things happen to you , it ’ s also important to stay thankful about the good things .
Don ’ t forget how lucky you are to have @ @ @ @ @ @ @ roof above your head .
Remember there are good things in this world , too .
9 .
Take ownership of your actions .
Admit to your flaws .
Apologize when you do something wrong .
Don ’ t shift the blame .
When you mess up , aim to learn a valuable lesson and become a better person .
10 .
Check in on your loved ones .
Don ’ t assume your family and friends are doing fine .
Ask them how they ’ ve been doing every once in a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ve been thinking of them .
Remind them they are loved .

1. Keeping yourself safe. Drinking enough water. Eating enough. Exercising enough. Visiting the doctor often enough. Taking care of your basic needs. Before you worry about anything else, you need to make sure that your body stays as healthy as possible so you can live a long, fulfilled life.
2. Spending time away from technology. You don’t have to delete your social media accounts or get rid of your wi-fi. You can simply cut down on how much time you spend in front of a screen per day. Instead of scrolling before bed or during breaks at work, save it for a specific time. That way, you’ll have something to look forward to doing, but you won’t spend as much time doing it.
3. Staying true to yourself. Wearing clothes that fit your style instead of wearing what you’re expected to wear. Sticking to your opinion even when other people try to make fun of you for your interests. Surrounding yourself with people who make you feel comfortable enough to be yourself.
4. Trying something new. Baking snacks you’ve never created before. Playing a type of video game you’ve never tried. Signing up for a club that takes you out of your comfort zone. You don’t have to move across the globe or quit your job to start exploring new sides of yourself. You can start small.
5. Taking care of your mental health. Even if you can’t afford to see a therapist, you can start a journal to write down your thoughts and keep track of your habits. You can open up to a trusted friend or family member. You can learn to meditate and perform deep breathing exercises. You can work toward a healthier future.
6. Helping those in need. You can donate food. You can donate money. You can sign petitions. You can spread awareness through social media. There are plenty of little things you can do to help your community, even without leaving the house.
7. Learning more about the universe. You can read books outside of your usual genre. You can follow people on social media who post interesting facts or stories you’ve never heard. You can listen to podcasts. You can take virtual classes. You can watch documentaries. You can expand your knowledge in a million different ways.
8. Remaining grateful. Even though you’re allowed to be sad when bad things happen to you, it’s also important to stay thankful about the good things. Don’t forget how lucky you are to have people around you who care and a roof above your head. Remember there are good things in this world, too.
9. Take ownership of your actions. Admit to your flaws. Apologize when you do something wrong. Don’t shift the blame. When you mess up, aim to learn a valuable lesson and become a better person.
10. Check in on your loved ones. Don’t assume your family and friends are doing fine. Ask them how they’ve been doing every once in a while. Let them know you’ve been thinking of them. Remind them they are loved.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-28--20 Little Known Facts About Dating Apps Like Tinder, Match, And Bumble

1 .
Guys swipe right on 47 % of profiles .
Women only swipe right on 12 % .
I knew some guys would swipe right more than women but wasn ’ t prepared for how little women swipe right !
2 .
I used to work at Bumble , although this was about 4-5 years ago .
Globally , about 90 % of the users are men , so there is a huge male to female disparity , although it ’ s not that bad on a per country basis ( for some countries ) .
The most depressing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ count in messages .
Something like 91 % of opening messages were just one word “ hey ” , and ~85 % of conversations were just one exchange long ( “ hey ” - > no reply ever ) .
Looking at human , digital mating habits splayed out in data science form was really depressing .
3 .
I ran operations for an online dating company ( notably not affiliated with Match ) .
From database analytics I can tell you a few things .
Men initiate contact around 80 % of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ if you are a woman looking to date other women and you simply initiate contact with another woman you have a good chance of success simply because it ’ s very very very common for women to match but then neither initiates contact .
We were able to determine that it takes on average about 3 dates before sex happens ( I don ’ t recall how we worked that out , I ’ m not a data analyst , but presumably it was some keyword-based algorithm looking at chat messages ) .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ a guy who had been an engineer for Match.com .
He said 99 % of the profiles were inactive , and that 80 % of the active profiles were men .
He didn ’ t provide numbers but also said the was a huge disparity between the average number of messages sent to women versus those sent to men .
According to him , all told the site was mostly men reaching out to dead profiles and never getting responses .
5 .
A friend wrote her master thesis about the different criteria @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Almost half ( 43 % ) the female participants who were in a relationship told they ’ d never have swiped right on their current partner .
Other interesting results were that over 60 % of men they wrote with on apps and agreed to go on a date , would have no chance , if they asked in real life .
6 .
I worked for Match for a couple of years .
This is probably widely known but women frequently lie about their age and weight and men lie about their @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s a big problem that women are inundated with DMs while most men get none .
7 .
I used to moderate OK Cupid .
The amount of unsolicited dick pictures men would send women , not even accompanied by any words was horrifying .
I mean , you ’ d expect it because online dating is a cesspit but the sheer amount would still surprise you .
I had to look at each reported picture and say , ” Yes , that ’ s a penis.
” 8 .
Most dating @ @ @ @ @ @ @ company , The Match Group .
They have a near-monopoly .
I think Bumble is one of the few not owned by them .
9 .
Female dating app users tend to sign off for the day several hours earlier than male users , which results in men who login after ~10PM generally not encountering many logged-in female users .
10 .
I did a study on how dating app usage affects someone ’ s narcissistic tendencies ( whether adaptive or maladaptive ) .
I found out that someone with a more pathological @ @ @ @ @ @ @ more socially and emotionally impaired when they aren ’ t getting the results they desire .
Since narcissism runs on a continuum from grandiose to vulnerable this shows how damaging this can be for anyone expressing these tendencies .
Most people know about grandiose narcissism but many don ’ t know about the other side of narcissism which is the vulnerable side .
The best way I can describe these people are these are the ones who look for someone to idolize and will do ANYTHING for that person .
Since they are @ @ @ @ @ @ @ they are missing they look to others for that purpose ( hence the idolizing ) .
Dating app usage is extremely dangerous for these people because they spend hours searching for someone and when they don ’ t match with them it causes a narcissistic injury .
11 .
I read a blog by a guy who used to work for OK Cupid .
He said the creepiest thing about it is every move you make on the site , every photo you click on , every message you send is logged .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ accounts that receive the most attention , and use their images in their advertising and around the site .
All of this in an effort to commercialize and commodify our need for intimacy and human contact , and perpetuate and reinforce culturally imposed standards of beauty .
If that isn ’ t creepy I don ’ t know what is .
12 .
I don ’ t know if it ’ s changed but my roommate used to work at one of the big dating apps and one of the issues they had @ @ @ @ @ @ @ point to more emphatically enforce dating “ pools ” where people who got more right swipes would only see profiles of people who get more right swipes etc .
With the idea being that it would put people in similar “ tiers ” to actually match .
Men get VERY FEW matches , regardless of how good their profile is .
Women get A LOT of matches , but most of those matches are useless .
14 .
We used to create fake accounts and chat with users .
It was everything from @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t getting responses to bored employees .
15 .
Lots of gay guys get banned from Grindr selling weed .
Would get a lot of emails of “ why am I banned ?
” Go to their profile and will say “ HMU for that 🌳 ” 16 .
My ex bf worked for the Yahoo Italy dating site back in the earlyish 2000s .
His job was to pretend to be a woman , and message male customers just as their accounts were going to expire .
This would encourage them @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Once they renewed , he would ghost them .
He only lasted for a few months due to how unethical it was .
17 .
Almost every dating app has a significantly larger percentage of men than women .
18 .
My old boss was the financial controller of a big dating site .
He kept on seeing these big invoices for modeling agencies and initially thought it was because of the big parties they used to host .
When he asked about it it turned out it was just content for the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ users .
19 .
Many apps seed attractive bots to keep people engaged .
The bots will send / respond to a couple of substandard questions .
“ How was your week ?
” “ What are you looking for ?
” Then ghost .
Despite the ghost , the high of matching with a super attractive person that spoke to you is enough to get many people hooked and chasing the dragon .
I have a theory ( unproven – I work on the comms side , not engineering ) that these @ @ @ @ @ @ @ just abruptly stopped chatting which isn ’ t how a normal actual human ends a conversation but people became so used to it happening to them , they started doing it to others .
Learned behavior .
20 .
Get some decent profile photos .
Go get your talented friend or just hire a photographer to take some really nicely-lit well-composed photos of yourself and watch your match rate soar .

Some people from Ask Reddit who have worked for dating apps want you to know these little known facts:
1. Guys swipe right on 47% of profiles. Women only swipe right on 12%. I knew some guys would swipe right more than women but wasn’t prepared for how little women swipe right!
2. I used to work at Bumble, although this was about 4-5 years ago. Globally, about 90% of the users are men, so there is a huge male to female disparity, although it’s not that bad on a per country basis (for some countries).
The most depressing stat though was the histogram of word count in messages. Something like 91% of opening messages were just one word “hey”, and ~85% of conversations were just one exchange long (“hey” -> no reply ever).
Looking at human, digital mating habits splayed out in data science form was really depressing.
3. I ran operations for an online dating company (notably not affiliated with Match). From database analytics I can tell you a few things. Men initiate contact around 80% of the time in straight matchmaking, and if you are a woman looking to date other women and you simply initiate contact with another woman you have a good chance of success simply because it’s very very very common for women to match but then neither initiates contact.
We were able to determine that it takes on average about 3 dates before sex happens (I don’t recall how we worked that out, I’m not a data analyst, but presumably it was some keyword-based algorithm looking at chat messages).
4. I used to work with a guy who had been an engineer for Match.com. He said 99% of the profiles were inactive, and that 80% of the active profiles were men.
He didn’t provide numbers but also said the was a huge disparity between the average number of messages sent to women versus those sent to men. According to him, all told the site was mostly men reaching out to dead profiles and never getting responses.
5. A friend wrote her master thesis about the different criteria in online dating and real life. Almost half (43%) the female participants who were in a relationship told they’d never have swiped right on their current partner. Other interesting results were that over 60% of men they wrote with on apps and agreed to go on a date, would have no chance, if they asked in real life.
6. I worked for Match for a couple of years. This is probably widely known but women frequently lie about their age and weight and men lie about their height and salary. Also, it’s a big problem that women are inundated with DMs while most men get none.
7. I used to moderate OK Cupid. The amount of unsolicited dick pictures men would send women, not even accompanied by any words was horrifying. I mean, you’d expect it because online dating is a cesspit but the sheer amount would still surprise you.
I had to look at each reported picture and say, ” Yes, that’s a penis.”
8. Most dating sites and apps are owned by one company, The Match Group. They have a near-monopoly. I think Bumble is one of the few not owned by them.
9. Female dating app users tend to sign off for the day several hours earlier than male users, which results in men who login after ~10PM generally not encountering many logged-in female users.
10. I did a study on how dating app usage affects someone’s narcissistic tendencies (whether adaptive or maladaptive). I found out that someone with a more pathological form of narcissism (maladaptive) is more socially and emotionally impaired when they aren’t getting the results they desire. Since narcissism runs on a continuum from grandiose to vulnerable this shows how damaging this can be for anyone expressing these tendencies.
Most people know about grandiose narcissism but many don’t know about the other side of narcissism which is the vulnerable side. The best way I can describe these people are these are the ones who look for someone to idolize and will do ANYTHING for that person. Since they are looking to fulfill a sense of self they are missing they look to others for that purpose (hence the idolizing). Dating app usage is extremely dangerous for these people because they spend hours searching for someone and when they don’t match with them it causes a narcissistic injury.
11. I read a blog by a guy who used to work for OK Cupid.
He said the creepiest thing about it is every move you make on the site, every photo you click on, every message you send is logged.
Also, they keep track of the accounts that receive the most attention, and use their images in their advertising and around the site.
All of this in an effort to commercialize and commodify our need for intimacy and human contact, and perpetuate and reinforce culturally imposed standards of beauty.
If that isn’t creepy I don’t know what is.
12. I don’t know if it’s changed but my roommate used to work at one of the big dating apps and one of the issues they had was that their algorithm changed at one point to more emphatically enforce dating “pools” where people who got more right swipes would only see profiles of people who get more right swipes etc. With the idea being that it would put people in similar “tiers” to actually match.
13. I helped software engineers optimize their profiles.
Men get VERY FEW matches, regardless of how good their profile is.
Women get A LOT of matches, but most of those matches are useless.
14. We used to create fake accounts and chat with users. It was everything from someone having a premium account that wasn’t getting responses to bored employees.
15. Lots of gay guys get banned from Grindr selling weed. Would get a lot of emails of “why am I banned?” Go to their profile and will say “HMU for that 🌳”
16. My ex bf worked for the Yahoo Italy dating site back in the earlyish 2000s. His job was to pretend to be a woman, and message male customers just as their accounts were going to expire. This would encourage them to pay to renew their subscriptions. Once they renewed, he would ghost them.
He only lasted for a few months due to how unethical it was.
17. Almost every dating app has a significantly larger percentage of men than women.
18. My old boss was the financial controller of a big dating site. He kept on seeing these big invoices for modeling agencies and initially thought it was because of the big parties they used to host. When he asked about it it turned out it was just content for the fake profiles they created to lure in users.
19. Many apps seed attractive bots to keep people engaged. The bots will send / respond to a couple of substandard questions. “How was your week?” “What are you looking for?” Then ghost.
Despite the ghost, the high of matching with a super attractive person that spoke to you is enough to get many people hooked and chasing the dragon.
I have a theory (unproven – I work on the comms side, not engineering) that these bots created ghosting culture. The bots just abruptly stopped chatting which isn’t how a normal actual human ends a conversation but people became so used to it happening to them, they started doing it to others. Learned behavior.
20. Get some decent profile photos. Go get your talented friend or just hire a photographer to take some really nicely-lit well-composed photos of yourself and watch your match rate soar.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-29--Why Each Zodiac Is Putting Off Therapy (Even Though They Should Really Go)

You feel like you ’ re too far gone .
You feel like you ’ re past the point of asking for help .
You feel like you can handle your problems on your own .
You feel like you don ’ t need help from anyone .
You feel like you don ’ t have enough time .
Your schedule is already packed tight .
You feel like your family and friends provide a strong enough support system .
You feel like you don ’ t need a professional ’ s help .
You ’ re embarrassed to speak @ @ @ @ @ @ @ You don ’ t want to tell a stranger your deepest secrets .
You feel like your problems aren ’ t that bad .
You feel like other people are going through much worse so you can ’ t complain .
You feel like it would be too hard to find a good therapist .
You feel like it requires too much effort .
You feel like you ’ re taking care of your mental health well enough on your own .
You feel like you have self-care covered .
You feel like @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to therapy .
Not you .
You don ’ t want to talk about your feelings .
You would rather ignore them and hope they go away .
You feel like nothing a therapist says will actually help you .
You feel like your problems are too big to tackle .
You feel like you ’ ve earned your suffering .
You feel like you deserve the pain .

You feel like you’re too far gone. You feel like you’re past the point of asking for help.
Taurus
You feel like you can handle your problems on your own. You feel like you don’t need help from anyone.
Gemini
You feel like you don’t have enough time. Your schedule is already packed tight.
Cancer
You feel like your family and friends provide a strong enough support system. You feel like you don’t need a professional’s help.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
Leo
You’re embarrassed to speak your mind and show your vulnerability. You don’t want to tell a stranger your deepest secrets.
Virgo
You feel like your problems aren’t that bad. You feel like other people are going through much worse so you can’t complain.
Libra
You feel like it would be too hard to find a good therapist. You feel like it requires too much effort.
Scorpio
You feel like you’re taking care of your mental health well enough on your own. You feel like you have self-care covered.
You feel like the people causing you stress should go to therapy. Not you.
Capricorn
You don’t want to talk about your feelings. You would rather ignore them and hope they go away.
Aquarius
You feel like nothing a therapist says will actually help you. You feel like your problems are too big to tackle.
You feel like you’ve earned your suffering. You feel like you deserve the pain.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-29--Why Each Zodiac Will Never Give Up On Their Wildest Dreams

You ’ re passionate .
You love what you ’ re doing and refuse to stop .
You ’ re stubborn .
You won ’ t stop until you get your way .
You ’ re thick-skinned .
You don ’ t let your critics get into your head .
You ’ re resilient .
No matter how many times you get knocked down , you get up again .
You ’ re confident .
You know you can do this .
You know you deserve this .
You ’ re a hard worker .
You ’ re willing to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ how long it takes .
You ’ re intelligent .
You know what you ’ re doing and know when to pivot .
You ’ re a risktaker .
You have no problem with failure or facing your fears .
You ’ re focused .
Once you set your sights on something , you don ’ t stop until it ’ s yours .
You ’ re organized .
You have your shit together .
You know what you ’ re doing .
You ’ re patient .
You don ’ t care @ @ @ @ @ @ @ because you ’ re not in a rush .
You ’ re reliable .
You do what you need to do , no hesitations .

Aries
You’re passionate. You love what you’re doing and refuse to stop.
You’re stubborn. You won’t stop until you get your way.
Gemini
You’re thick-skinned. You don’t let your critics get into your head.
Cancer
You’re resilient. No matter how many times you get knocked down, you get up again.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
You’re confident. You know you can do this. You know you deserve this.
Virgo
You’re a hard worker. You’re willing to put in the effort — no matter how long it takes.
Libra
You’re intelligent. You know what you’re doing and know when to pivot.
Scorpio
You’re a risktaker. You have no problem with failure or facing your fears.
Sagittarius
You’re focused. Once you set your sights on something, you don’t stop until it’s yours.
You’re organized. You have your shit together. You know what you’re doing.
Aquarius
You’re patient. You don’t care how long it takes to reach success because you’re not in a rush.
Pisces
You’re reliable. You do what you need to do, no hesitations.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-29--30 Hilarious Things You Can Say At A Wedding But Not A Funeral

1 .
That ’ s going to be you one day .
3 .
We really need to start getting together like this more often .
7 .
One day her daughter could wear that dress .
8 .
I ’ m proud to say that I ’ m the one who ’ s responsible for us being here today .
9 .
You know children are next !
11 .
That shoulda been me up there .
12 .
Haha we lost another one boys !
His life is OVER .
13 .
Well… this isn ’ t going @ @ @ @ @ @ @ t have happened to a better guy .
15 .
She ’ ll never look more beautiful than she does today .
16 .
Finally !
I know this is the happy ending we all wanted .
17 .
Her parents must be happy to have her out of the house .
18 .
Damn , they gon na get fucked so hard tonight .
19 .
This is the happiest day of my life .
20 .
I ’ ve been happily waiting for this day for years .
21 .
Maybe @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
22 .
I mostly came for the free alcohol .
23 .
This is the first day of the rest of your life .
24 .
I don ’ t even know the guy , just came to find a hookup .
26 .
I ’ m so glad this happened before she got pregnant .
27 .
Why doesn ’ t he look happy ?
29 .
Where are the drinks ?
30 .
Can ’ t wait for the next one !

Remember that game on Whose Line is it Anyway? Ask Reddit decided to play
1. That’s going to be you one day.
2. She looks drop dead gorgeous.
3. We really need to start getting together like this more often.
4. About time.
5. Let’s do a silly photo this time.
6. Oh don’t worry, they’re happy tears.
7. One day her daughter could wear that dress.
8. I’m proud to say that I’m the one who’s responsible for us being here today.
9. You know children are next!
10. I hope I’m next.
11. That shoulda been me up there.
12. Haha we lost another one boys! His life is OVER.
13. Well… this isn’t going to last.
14. Couldn’t have happened to a better guy.
15. She’ll never look more beautiful than she does today.
16. Finally! I know this is the happy ending we all wanted.
17. Her parents must be happy to have her out of the house.
18. Damn, they gonna get fucked so hard tonight.
19. This is the happiest day of my life.
20. I’ve been happily waiting for this day for years.
21. Maybe this time it’ll work out.
22. I mostly came for the free alcohol.
23. This is the first day of the rest of your life.
24. I don’t even know the guy, just came to find a hookup.
25. Have fun tonight.
26. I’m so glad this happened before she got pregnant.
27. Why doesn’t he look happy?
28. That kiss was nice.
29. Where are the drinks?
30. Can’t wait for the next one!


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-29--8 Lessons Women In Their Twenties Can Learn From ‘New Girl’

1 .
“ When you care about somebody , you do what ’ s best for them even if it sucks for you.
” When you love someone , you value their happiness as much as your own happiness .
You would do anything to see them smile .
Unfortunately , this means that sometimes you ’ re going to have to let the person you love go , even if it means you ’ re going to be miserable without them .
2 .
“ I want passion .
Even if it ’ s harder and hurts more.
” @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it comes to love .
You shouldn ’ t marry the first person you meet , simply because it ’ s the easiest path to walk down .
You should hold out for real , strong , passionate love .
It might take you a while to find , but you ’ re going to get there eventually .
3 “ Do I regret it ?
Yes .
Would I do it again ?
Probably.
” Looking back , there might be some decisions you regret .
However , you didn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ You never could ’ ve guessed what would happen at the time .
If you were in the same position again , you probably would ’ ve done the same thing , so you need to let those regrets go .
4 .
“ Life sucks .
Then it gets better .
Then it sucks again .
” Nick Life isn ’ t always going to be easy .
Sometimes , you ’ re going to face failures .
You ’ re going to deatl with unexpected losses .
You ’ re going @ @ @ @ @ @ @ circumstances .
However , one day , things are going to get better again .
You ’ re going to laugh and smile and remember why it ’ s so great to be alive .
5 .
“ Can we just take a minute to celebrate me ?
” — Schmidt It ’ s not selfish to celebrate your accomplishments .
You shouldn ’ t keep quiet about the great things you ’ ve done throughout life .
You should be proud of yourself .
You should let everyone know how far you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ It ’ s a weird life , but it ’ s where I ’ m at right now.
” — Nick You might not like your life at the moment , but you need to accept it .
You need to live in the present , deal with your problems instead of pretending they don ’ t exist , and look forward to a better future .
Life can be unpredictable , but you have to roll with the punches as best as you can .
7 .
“ I ’ m always @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s my thing.
” You shouldn ’ t be the only one putting effort into a relationship .
You shouldn ’ t feel like you ’ re doing all the work while your partner sits on the sidelines .
You should break up with anyone who makes you feel like you ’ re hard to love .
Wait for someone who gives as much as they take .
8 .
“ I don ’ t know what I ’ m doing emotionally or , let ’ s be honest , sexually.
” @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and thirties , you feel like you ’ re supposed to have it all together .
But it ’ s normal to have absolutely no idea what you ’ re doing .
Even though you might have friends who are already married with children , remember you ’ re not alone in your confusion .
Everyone else is feeling as lost as you are , even if they ’ re not showing it publicly .

1. “When you care about somebody, you do what’s best for them even if it sucks for you.” Schmidt
When you love someone, you value their happiness as much as your own happiness. You would do anything to see them smile. Unfortunately, this means that sometimes you’re going to have to let the person you love go, even if it means you’re going to be miserable without them.
2. “I want passion. Even if it’s harder and hurts more.” — Jess
You shouldn’t settle when it comes to love. You shouldn’t marry the first person you meet, simply because it’s the easiest path to walk down. You should hold out for real, strong, passionate love. It might take you a while to find, but you’re going to get there eventually.
3 “Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.” Nick
Looking back, there might be some decisions you regret. However, you didn’t know they were mistakes until now. You never could’ve guessed what would happen at the time. If you were in the same position again, you probably would’ve done the same thing, so you need to let those regrets go.
4. “Life sucks. Then it gets better. Then it sucks again. ” — Nick
Life isn’t always going to be easy. Sometimes, you’re going to face failures. You’re going to deatl with unexpected losses. You’re going to be placed under shitty, unfortunate circumstances. However, one day, things are going to get better again. You’re going to laugh and smile and remember why it’s so great to be alive.
5. “Can we just take a minute to celebrate me?” — Schmidt
It’s not selfish to celebrate your accomplishments. You shouldn’t keep quiet about the great things you’ve done throughout life. You should be proud of yourself. You should let everyone know how far you’ve come.
6. “It’s a weird life, but it’s where I’m at right now.” — Nick
You might not like your life at the moment, but you need to accept it. You need to live in the present, deal with your problems instead of pretending they don’t exist, and look forward to a better future. Life can be unpredictable, but you have to roll with the punches as best as you can.
7. “I’m always the one who loves more. That’s my thing.” — Jess
You shouldn’t be the only one putting effort into a relationship. You shouldn’t feel like you’re doing all the work while your partner sits on the sidelines. You should break up with anyone who makes you feel like you’re hard to love. Wait for someone who gives as much as they take.
8. “I don’t know what I’m doing emotionally or, let’s be honest, sexually.” — Jessica
When you’re in your twenties and thirties, you feel like you’re supposed to have it all together. But it’s normal to have absolutely no idea what you’re doing. Even though you might have friends who are already married with children, remember you’re not alone in your confusion. Everyone else is feeling as lost as you are, even if they’re not showing it publicly.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-29--You Shouldn’t Feel Bad About Having Strong Feelings

You shouldn ’ t feel bad about your feelings .
You shouldn ’ t feel like you aren ’ t allowed to be upset when your partner makes a mean comment because you ’ re overreacting .
You shouldn ’ t feel like you don ’ t have the right to be angry at your person before you become an official couple because they don ’ t owe you anything .
Your emotions are valid .
You shouldn ’ t feel bad about whatever you ’ re experiencing because your feelings are out of your control .
However , your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ You can handle your anger by cursing and screaming — or by giving yourself time to cool off and then having a mature conversation with the person who upset you .
You can handle your sorrow by isolating yourself and swearing off of love forever — or by analyzing your feelings and coming up with a solution .
Remember , you ’ re allowed to be upset .
You ’ re allowed to be angry .
You ’ re allowed to be an emotional mess .
But you ’ re not allowed to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ by lashing out at them .
You ’ re not allowed to disrespect them and blame it on some other outside force instead of taking responsibility for what you chose to do .
Of course , although your actions are always completely within your power , your emotions are much harder to control .
You can ’ t erase your jealousy or your heartache , simply because you don ’ t want to feel that way anymore .
Stuffing your emotions deep down your chest might work for now — but it ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
It ’ s not healthy to pretend you ’ re heartless .
Acting like you don ’ t care about anyone except yourself isn ’ t going to do you any favors .
It ’ s only going to cause more problems down the road .
You need to start giving yourself permission to feel your emotions , even the most uncomfortable ones , especially the most uncomfortable ones .
You need to stop blaming yourself for caring too much , for growing too attached , for making something out of nothing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s bothering you .
It ’ s important .
It shouldn ’ t be ignored .
Even though you might feel like your emotions are overexaggerated or unimportant , you should tell the people you love the most how you ’ re feeling .
You shouldn ’ t hide bits and pieces of yourself because you ’ re scared of coming on too strong , of chasing them away .
Anyone who convinces you that you aren ’ t allowed to feel a certain way is doing you a disservice .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ your most authentic self .
If they ’ re the right person for you , then they ’ ll listen to what you have to say .
They ’ ll be excited you entrusted them with your deepest thoughts .
They will never accuse you of acting too clingy or needy or annoying .
They will be there for you , no matter what you are feeling .
You should never feel bad about having such strong , unshakable emotions .
You should be proud of your soft heart .
You should be @ @ @ @ @ @ @ feel at once .
The strength of your emotions is a power , not a weakness .

You shouldn’t feel bad about your feelings. You shouldn’t feel like you aren’t allowed to be upset when your partner makes a mean comment because you’re overreacting. You shouldn’t feel like you don’t have the right to be angry at your person before you become an official couple because they don’t owe you anything.
Your emotions are valid. You shouldn’t feel bad about whatever you’re experiencing because your feelings are out of your control. However, your actions are completely within your control.
You can handle your anger by cursing and screaming — or by giving yourself time to cool off and then having a mature conversation with the person who upset you. You can handle your sorrow by isolating yourself and swearing off of love forever — or by analyzing your feelings and coming up with a solution.
Remember, you’re allowed to be upset. You’re allowed to be angry. You’re allowed to be an emotional mess. But you’re not allowed to hurt the people you love the most by lashing out at them. You’re not allowed to disrespect them and blame it on some other outside force instead of taking responsibility for what you chose to do.
Of course, although your actions are always completely within your power, your emotions are much harder to control. You can’t erase your jealousy or your heartache, simply because you don’t want to feel that way anymore. Stuffing your emotions deep down your chest might work for now — but it’s going to backfire on you eventually.
It’s not healthy to pretend you’re heartless. Acting like you don’t care about anyone except yourself isn’t going to do you any favors. It’s only going to cause more problems down the road.
You need to start giving yourself permission to feel your emotions, even the most uncomfortable ones, especially the most uncomfortable ones. You need to stop blaming yourself for caring too much, for growing too attached, for making something out of nothing. It’s not nothing if it’s bothering you. It’s important. It shouldn’t be ignored.
Even though you might feel like your emotions are overexaggerated or unimportant, you should tell the people you love the most how you’re feeling. You shouldn’t hide bits and pieces of yourself because you’re scared of coming on too strong, of chasing them away.
Anyone who convinces you that you aren’t allowed to feel a certain way is doing you a disservice. They’re stopping you from being your most authentic self.
If they’re the right person for you, then they’ll listen to what you have to say. They’ll be excited you entrusted them with your deepest thoughts. They will never accuse you of acting too clingy or needy or annoying. They will be there for you, no matter what you are feeling.
You should never feel bad about having such strong, unshakable emotions. You should be proud of your soft heart. You should be excited about how much excitement you can feel at once. The strength of your emotions is a power, not a weakness.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-29--Walking Away Is Hard When You Have A Soft Heart

Walking away is hard when you have a soft heart because you don ’ t want to hurt anyone ’ s feelings .
You don ’ t want to cause any drama .
You want to continue making everyone around you happy — but you might end up sacrificing your own happiness in the process .
Although it will be hard for you to walk away from the people who once meant the world to you ( or who still mean the world to you ) you have to do it for your own mental health .
You can not @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you miserable simply because you ’ re scared to make a change .
You should never place someone else ’ s happiness above your own .
You have to put yourself first , even though it makes you uncomfortable , even though it feels selfish .
You need to treat yourself as a priority because taking care of yourself matters most .
Walking away is hard when you have a soft heart because your guilt will follow you .
You will question whether you did the right thing long after you left .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ should have made a different decision , whether you should have given them one more chance , whether you should have put more effort into your past .
However , you can not allow yourself to stare in the rearview for too long .
You have to accept the choices you made and move onto better and brighter things .
Walking away is hard when you have a soft heart because you care about what everyone else thinks of you .
You don ’ t want their opinions to matter — but they @ @ @ @ @ @ @ t want to come across like you ’ re heartless .
You don ’ t want to look like some sort of monster .
However , you have to remember the people around you don ’ t know the whole story about your situation .
They only know bits and pieces .
They can never fully understand what you were going through or why you came to your decision .
Walking away is hard when you have a soft heart because you see the best in everyone .
Even when someone hurts you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ from their side .
You give them the benefit of the doubt .
You offer them as many chances as you can possibly give .
You know everyone makes mistakes and don ’ t want to fault someone who is trying to better themselves .
However , you have to remember your emotions matter , too .
You should keep your standards high .
You shouldn ’ t settle , simply because you feel bad about saying goodbye .
Walking away is hard when you have a soft heart because you get attached @ @ @ @ @ @ @ clear that you ’ ve grown apart from someone , it ’ s hard for you to remove them from your world .
After you walk away from them , you ’ re going to miss them .
You ’ re going to wonder how they ’ ve been doing and feel the urge to reach out to them .
However , you have to keep reminding yourself that you did the right thing .
You took a step in the right direction .

Walking away is hard when you have a soft heart because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. You don’t want to cause any drama. You want to continue making everyone around you happy — but you might end up sacrificing your own happiness in the process.
Although it will be hard for you to walk away from the people who once meant the world to you (or who still mean the world to you) you have to do it for your own mental health. You cannot remain in a place that is making you miserable simply because you’re scared to make a change. You should never place someone else’s happiness above your own.
You have to put yourself first, even though it makes you uncomfortable, even though it feels selfish. You need to treat yourself as a priority because taking care of yourself matters most.
Walking away is hard when you have a soft heart because your guilt will follow you. You will question whether you did the right thing long after you left. You will keep asking yourself whether you should have made a different decision, whether you should have given them one more chance, whether you should have put more effort into your past. However, you cannot allow yourself to stare in the rearview for too long. You have to accept the choices you made and move onto better and brighter things.
Walking away is hard when you have a soft heart because you care about what everyone else thinks of you. You don’t want their opinions to matter — but they impact you anyway. You don’t want to come across like you’re heartless. You don’t want to look like some sort of monster. However, you have to remember the people around you don’t know the whole story about your situation. They only know bits and pieces. They can never fully understand what you were going through or why you came to your decision.
Walking away is hard when you have a soft heart because you see the best in everyone. Even when someone hurts you, you try to see the situation from their side. You give them the benefit of the doubt. You offer them as many chances as you can possibly give. You know everyone makes mistakes and don’t want to fault someone who is trying to better themselves. However, you have to remember your emotions matter, too. You should keep your standards high. You shouldn’t settle, simply because you feel bad about saying goodbye.
Walking away is hard when you have a soft heart because you get attached easily. Even when it’s clear that you’ve grown apart from someone, it’s hard for you to remove them from your world. After you walk away from them, you’re going to miss them. You’re going to wonder how they’ve been doing and feel the urge to reach out to them. However, you have to keep reminding yourself that you did the right thing. You took a step in the right direction.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-29--8 Things I Mistook For Attraction

8 Things I Mistook For Attraction

1 .
Admiration .
I wanted to be wanted .
Anytime someone would give me a compliment — even a crude , inappropriate compliment that should have been a red flag — I would blush .
I would get a boost of confidence and automatically feel better about myself .
I would be excited about the fact someone else actually found me attractive when the only thing I could see when looking in the mirror were flaws .
2 .
Friendship .
Whenever someone made me laugh , had long conversations with me , and was at least somewhat attractive @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I assumed our friendship was only the first step toward a long , fulfilling , committed relationship .
I had trouble telling the difference between people who were simply friends and people who were meant to become more .
3 .
Obsession .
There have been times when someone stayed stuck on my mind , when I couldn ’ t stop thinking about them , when they were the first thing in my head in the morning and the last thing in my head at night .
I assumed this meant we were @ @ @ @ @ @ @ this was what blossoming love was supposed to feel like .
At the time , I didn ’ t realize that obsession and love are not necessarily linked together .
They can be two completely separate things .
4 .
Nervousness .
Like Halsey has said : “ The warning signs can feel like they ’ re butterflies.
” There were moments I mistook for attraction , for excitement , for adrenaline , when really , I was only buzzing with nerves .
Not because I wanted to be with the person .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Because I thought their opinion mattered .
Because I thought it was what I was supposed to feel while looking at them .
5 .
Attention .
I like attention .
I like validation .
I like ego boosts .
Everyone does .
It ’ s part of being human .
In the past , I didn ’ t care where the attention came from .
I would be grateful to get any at all .
I wasn ’ t picky .
I wasn ’ t greedy .
I took whatever I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ s a difference between wanting attention in general and wanting it to come from one specific person .
6 .
Jealousy .
I used to think getting jealous over seeing a certain crush with someone else meant I wanted to be with them .
However , that ’ s not always the case .
Sometimes , I ’ m simply jealous of their happiness .
Or jealous of the fact their attention is off of me .
Jealousy doesn ’ t always have to do with love .
7 .
Passion .
Getting @ @ @ @ @ @ @ time looks romantic in movies — but it ’ s not romantic in real life .
Constant arguments aren ’ t a sign of attraction .
If anything , they ’ re a sign of incompatibility .
They mean you ’ re not meant to be together .
You ’ re meant to stay far , far apart .
8 .
On-paper chemistry .
There were certain qualities I was searching for in a partner .
If someone matched the description , then I assumed we would be a great fit .
However @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on your Dream Partner list doesn ’ t mean they ’ re actually right for you .
You could be a perfect match on paper — but make absolutely no sense in real life .

1. Admiration. I wanted to be wanted. Anytime someone would give me a compliment — even a crude, inappropriate compliment that should have been a red flag — I would blush. I would get a boost of confidence and automatically feel better about myself. I would be excited about the fact someone else actually found me attractive when the only thing I could see when looking in the mirror were flaws.
2. Friendship. Whenever someone made me laugh, had long conversations with me, and was at least somewhat attractive, I assumed we were soulmates. I assumed our friendship was only the first step toward a long, fulfilling, committed relationship. I had trouble telling the difference between people who were simply friends and people who were meant to become more.
3. Obsession. There have been times when someone stayed stuck on my mind, when I couldn’t stop thinking about them, when they were the first thing in my head in the morning and the last thing in my head at night. I assumed this meant we were destined to be together. I assumed this was what blossoming love was supposed to feel like. At the time, I didn’t realize that obsession and love are not necessarily linked together. They can be two completely separate things.
4. Nervousness. Like Halsey has said: “The warning signs can feel like they’re butterflies.” There were moments I mistook for attraction, for excitement, for adrenaline, when really, I was only buzzing with nerves. Not because I wanted to be with the person. Because I wanted to impress that person. Because I thought their opinion mattered. Because I thought it was what I was supposed to feel while looking at them.
5. Attention. I like attention. I like validation. I like ego boosts. Everyone does. It’s part of being human. In the past, I didn’t care where the attention came from. I would be grateful to get any at all. I wasn’t picky. I wasn’t greedy. I took whatever I could get. However, there’s a difference between wanting attention in general and wanting it to come from one specific person.
6. Jealousy. I used to think getting jealous over seeing a certain crush with someone else meant I wanted to be with them. However, that’s not always the case. Sometimes, I’m simply jealous of their happiness. Or jealous of the fact their attention is off of me. Jealousy doesn’t always have to do with love.
7. Passion. Getting into screaming matches with someone all the time looks romantic in movies — but it’s not romantic in real life. Constant arguments aren’t a sign of attraction. If anything, they’re a sign of incompatibility. They mean you’re not meant to be together. You’re meant to stay far, far apart.
8. On-paper chemistry. There were certain qualities I was searching for in a partner. If someone matched the description, then I assumed we would be a great fit. However, just because someone crosses off items on your Dream Partner list doesn’t mean they’re actually right for you. You could be a perfect match on paper — but make absolutely no sense in real life.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-30--13 Unanswered Questions From The First Season Of Amazon Prime’s ‘The Wilds’

The Wilds is truly a wild ride .
It effortlessly tells the story of the girls ’ present as well as takes us deep into their personal lives .
Each of them have tragic stories that clearly shape them into who they are today , but these stories are never overstated or overly dramatic , and there are still moments of humor despite their circumstances .
It ’ s the perfect dramedy to crash right into .
Too soon ?
Anyway , there is so much drama in each episode that they couldn ’ t pack it into one season @ @ @ @ @ @ @ there are SO many questions that are left unanswered .
1 .
How did Gretchen find these girls in the first place ?
It ’ s clear that Gretchen vetted these girls from the beginning , but because they are from all over , how did she have national access to their past ?
If she did it by application process , how did she know these girls were the best ones for her study ?
We start to see Shelby crack when she cuts her hair , but what happened between then @ @ @ @ @ @ @ hair and an injured ankle ?
3 .
What happened to Rachel and Nora ?
It can be assumed that something happens to Rachel and Nora when the shark appears in the water , but we can ’ t be sure .
Rachel *is* missing a hand , which can happen when a shark is around , but it is healed so well .
Also , Nora ’ s story is only told through her diary .
Did she die trying to save Rachel ?
Or when Rachel references that she doesn ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , is it because she finds out Nora was the double agent ?
Martha ’ s things are shown , like her frog towel , but there is no sign of her .
Did she not make it off of the island ?
5 .
How long has it been since they ’ ve been off the island ?
It ’ s hard to keep a timeline , but with Shelby still being on crutches but Rachel ’ s arm being completely healed , how long did it take for Gretchen to intervene @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in the custody of Gretchen and her crew ?
It becomes clear that the agents are not investigating the crash but rather are in on the study .
However , the logistics of keeping these girls separated from their families and literally the rest of the world are mind-boggling .
How is it that none of the parents are making a fit about not seeing their daughters ?
7 .
Why did Shelby want to see Leah and not Toni ?
We ’ re led to believe that Shelby would want to see @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fucked under the lychee tree .
8 .
To what extent is Dot involved ?
We see Dot meeting with Gretchen in a setting that seems like Dot is going to be briefed on the study .
But what exactly did Gretchen tell her ?
And what does Dot agree to ?
9 .
How does Gretchen think she is going to get away with this ?
This is both hypothetical and literal .
Like , really , even if in the off chance that the girls make it back to their families @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you ’ d think that the girls would spill the beans as SOON as they get home .
Also , Gretchen is looking to present her results .
Does she really think her methods aren ’ t going to raise some eyebrows ?
10 .
Are we going to meet the Evening of Adam control group ?
We ’ re still not done learning about these girls , how are we supposed to make room for new people ?
!
11 .
Is Leah going to tell the girls what Nora did ?
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ has been onto Gretchen since the beginning .
Well , maybe not her specifically , but she knows something is amiss .
She has already pointed out to the girls that something weird is going on , and even very publicly accused Shelby of being in on it , but with Nora trapping her in a hole , Leah has some hardcore evidence .
But when Leah comes back to confront her , Nora runs into the ocean to save Rachel from the shark .
So depending on what happens after that , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ about that whole shark thing but guess what Nora just did.
” And even if she says something , will the girls believe her or think she is going crazy again ?
12 .
Was it a coincidence that Shelby was having an allergic reaction when Leah escaped or did they plan it ?
Shelby *knows* she ’ s allergic to shellfish .
It ’ s the whole reason she didn ’ t get food poisoning .
So it seems peculiar that just as Leah breaks out of her room , Shelby is @ @ @ @ @ @ @ next to her .
Did she set up a diversion for Leah , or was it just a lucky coincidence ?

The Wilds is truly a wild ride. It effortlessly tells the story of the girls’ present as well as takes us deep into their personal lives. Each of them have tragic stories that clearly shape them into who they are today, but these stories are never overstated or overly dramatic, and there are still moments of humor despite their circumstances. It’s the perfect dramedy to crash right into. Too soon? Anyway, there is so much drama in each episode that they couldn’t pack it into one season. So, after the finale, there are SO many questions that are left unanswered.
WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD
1. How did Gretchen find these girls in the first place?
It’s clear that Gretchen vetted these girls from the beginning, but because they are from all over, how did she have national access to their past? If she did it by application process, how did she know these girls were the best ones for her study?
2. What happened to Shelby?
We start to see Shelby crack when she cuts her hair, but what happened between then and the interview that she has no hair and an injured ankle?
3. What happened to Rachel and Nora?
It can be assumed that something happens to Rachel and Nora when the shark appears in the water, but we can’t be sure. Rachel *is* missing a hand, which can happen when a shark is around, but it is healed so well. Also, Nora’s story is only told through her diary. Did she die trying to save Rachel? Or when Rachel references that she doesn’t want to talk about her sister, is it because she finds out Nora was the double agent?
4. Why didn’t they interview Martha?
Martha’s things are shown, like her frog towel, but there is no sign of her. Did she not make it off of the island?
5. How long has it been since they’ve been off the island?
It’s hard to keep a timeline, but with Shelby still being on crutches but Rachel’s arm being completely healed, how long did it take for Gretchen to intervene?
6. How are they still in the custody of Gretchen and her crew?
It becomes clear that the agents are not investigating the crash but rather are in on the study. However, the logistics of keeping these girls separated from their families and literally the rest of the world are mind-boggling. How is it that none of the parents are making a fit about not seeing their daughters?
7. Why did Shelby want to see Leah and not Toni?
We’re led to believe that Shelby would want to see Toni after they, you know, fucked under the lychee tree.
8. To what extent is Dot involved?
We see Dot meeting with Gretchen in a setting that seems like Dot is going to be briefed on the study. But what exactly did Gretchen tell her? And what does Dot agree to?
9. How does Gretchen think she is going to get away with this?
This is both hypothetical and literal. Like, really, even if in the off chance that the girls make it back to their families without first being rescued by authorities, you’d think that the girls would spill the beans as SOON as they get home. Also, Gretchen is looking to present her results. Does she really think her methods aren’t going to raise some eyebrows?
10. Are we going to meet the Evening of Adam control group?
We’re still not done learning about these girls, how are we supposed to make room for new people?!
11. Is Leah going to tell the girls what Nora did? And will they believe her?
Leah has been onto Gretchen since the beginning. Well, maybe not her specifically, but she knows something is amiss. She has already pointed out to the girls that something weird is going on, and even very publicly accused Shelby of being in on it, but with Nora trapping her in a hole, Leah has some hardcore evidence. But when Leah comes back to confront her, Nora runs into the ocean to save Rachel from the shark. So depending on what happens after that, will Leah be like, “sorry about that whole shark thing but guess what Nora just did.” And even if she says something, will the girls believe her or think she is going crazy again?
12. Was it a coincidence that Shelby was having an allergic reaction when Leah escaped or did they plan it?
Shelby *knows* she’s allergic to shellfish. It’s the whole reason she didn’t get food poisoning. So it seems peculiar that just as Leah breaks out of her room, Shelby is in anaphylactic shock with a bowl sitting next to her. Did she set up a diversion for Leah, or was it just a lucky coincidence?
13. When does season 2 start?
Seriously.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-30--Why Each Zodiac Sign Is Always The One Getting Broken Up With

You ’ re always the one getting broken up with because you have low self-esteem .
You never realize you deserve better .
You ’ re always the one getting broken up with because you get attached easily .
Once you like someone , you don ’ t want to let them go .
You ’ re always the one getting broken up with because you give out too many chances .
You hesitate to leave someone , even after they ’ ve hurt you .
You ’ re always the one getting broken up with because you don ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ re willing to fight for a relationship , even when it ’ s not working .
You ’ re always the one getting broken up with because you love attention .
You don ’ t want to push someone away who has been spending all their energy on you .
You ’ re always the one getting broken up with because you are a romantic deep , deep down .
You love the idea of being in love .
You ’ re always the one getting broken up with because you see the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ can change , so you never walk away first .
You ’ re always the one getting broken up with because you ’ re scared of confrontation .
You always sweep problems under the rug .
You ’ re always the one getting broken up with because you hate hurting other people ’ s feelings .
You would rather act out until they initiate the breakup instead .
You ’ re always the one getting broken up with because you have high standards .
You only date people you really like so you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ re always the one getting broken up with because you hate being single .
You would rather be with the wrong person for a while than be thrust back in the dating world .
You ’ re always the one getting broken up with because you really want to settle down .
You want a marriage and children more than anything .

Aries
You’re always the one getting broken up with because you have low self-esteem. You never realize you deserve better.
You’re always the one getting broken up with because you get attached easily. Once you like someone, you don’t want to let them go.
Gemini
You’re always the one getting broken up with because you give out too many chances. You hesitate to leave someone, even after they’ve hurt you.
Cancer
You’re always the one getting broken up with because you don’t give up easily. You’re willing to fight for a relationship, even when it’s not working.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
Leo
You’re always the one getting broken up with because you love attention. You don’t want to push someone away who has been spending all their energy on you.
Virgo
You’re always the one getting broken up with because you are a romantic deep, deep down. You love the idea of being in love.
Libra
You’re always the one getting broken up with because you see the best in everyone. You believe they can change, so you never walk away first.
Scorpio
You’re always the one getting broken up with because you’re scared of confrontation. You always sweep problems under the rug.
You’re always the one getting broken up with because you hate hurting other people’s feelings. You would rather act out until they initiate the breakup instead.
Capricorn
You’re always the one getting broken up with because you have high standards. You only date people you really like so you never want to leave them.
Aquarius
You’re always the one getting broken up with because you hate being single. You would rather be with the wrong person for a while than be thrust back in the dating world.
You’re always the one getting broken up with because you really want to settle down. You want a marriage and children more than anything.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-30--7 Signs You’re Not Fully Invested In The Relationship

1 .
You expect them to do all the work .
You answer their messages — but you never send the first one .
You agree to hang out with them whenever they set plans — but you ’ re never the one who thinks to invite them over .
You make out with them — but you ’ re never the one initiating the affection .
Basically , you ’ ll go along with whatever they want to do and treat them with kindness , but they ’ re putting in the bulk of the work .
You have @ @ @ @ @ @ @ if they stopped putting in effort one day , you would completely drift apart .
2 .
You refuse to take the next step in your relationship .
You feel uncomfortable leaving an extra toothbrush at their place , even though they insist .
You feel weird about giving them a key to your apartment , even though it was their idea .
You ’ re not really interested in moving in together or putting a label on the relationship , either .
There ’ s nothing wrong with taking the relationship slow @ @ @ @ @ @ @ together for a while and have no interest in taking steps the other person seems excited about , you owe it to them to leave .
3 .
You ’ re pretty secretive about them .
You never post pictures of them on social media .
You never switch your relationship status to taken .
You avoid answering questions about your love life , even when you ’ re talking to close friends and family who you should be excited to tell about your partner .
There ’ s nothing wrong with keeping @ @ @ @ @ @ @ person a secret is another story .
4 .
You get freaked out whenever you discuss the future .
Whenever they talk about growing old with you or getting married or popping out babies , you get nervous .
You immediately change the subject .
Maybe you ’ re scared of commitment .
Or maybe you ’ re scared of making a commitment to them .
Maybe you don ’ t see the relationship lasting as long as they do — and you need to tell them that soon .
5 .
You @ @ @ @ @ @ @ people .
Maybe you swipe through dating apps whenever you ’ re bored .
Or maybe you still talk to the ex who clearly wants to get back together with you .
Either way , you ’ re keeping your options open .
You have a good idea of who you ’ re going to chase after if your current relationship ends , which means you aren ’ t fully invested in making the relationship work .
6 .
You don ’ t put much effort into big events .
You don ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ their birthday gifts and you ’ re fine with skipping Valentine ’ s Day .
Maybe you ’ re not the romantic type — or maybe you simply have no interest in wooing them .
Maybe you like having them around when it ’ s convenient for you , but you don ’ t want to put in any extra effort because they don ’ t mean all that much to you .
7 .
You consider breaking up often .
If you ’ re always daydreaming about what it would be like @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that you had more freedom than you do right now , then you should leave the relationship .
Give them a chance to find someone who is more invested in their love .

1. You expect them to do all the work. You answer their messages — but you never send the first one. You agree to hang out with them whenever they set plans — but you’re never the one who thinks to invite them over. You make out with them — but you’re never the one initiating the affection. Basically, you’ll go along with whatever they want to do and treat them with kindness, but they’re putting in the bulk of the work. You have no interest in pursuing them, so if they stopped putting in effort one day, you would completely drift apart.
2. You refuse to take the next step in your relationship. You feel uncomfortable leaving an extra toothbrush at their place, even though they insist. You feel weird about giving them a key to your apartment, even though it was their idea. You’re not really interested in moving in together or putting a label on the relationship, either. There’s nothing wrong with taking the relationship slow, but if you’ve been together for a while and have no interest in taking steps the other person seems excited about, you owe it to them to leave.
3. You’re pretty secretive about them. You never post pictures of them on social media. You never switch your relationship status to taken. You avoid answering questions about your love life, even when you’re talking to close friends and family who you should be excited to tell about your partner. There’s nothing wrong with keeping your relationship private, but keeping your person a secret is another story.
4. You get freaked out whenever you discuss the future. Whenever they talk about growing old with you or getting married or popping out babies, you get nervous. You immediately change the subject. Maybe you’re scared of commitment. Or maybe you’re scared of making a commitment to them. Maybe you don’t see the relationship lasting as long as they do — and you need to tell them that soon.
5. You’re still actively flirting with other people. Maybe you swipe through dating apps whenever you’re bored. Or maybe you still talk to the ex who clearly wants to get back together with you. Either way, you’re keeping your options open. You have a good idea of who you’re going to chase after if your current relationship ends, which means you aren’t fully invested in making the relationship work.
6. You don’t put much effort into big events. You don’t put all that much thought into their birthday gifts and you’re fine with skipping Valentine’s Day. Maybe you’re not the romantic type — or maybe you simply have no interest in wooing them. Maybe you like having them around when it’s convenient for you, but you don’t want to put in any extra effort because they don’t mean all that much to you.
7. You consider breaking up often. If you’re always daydreaming about what it would be like to be single again, and wishing that you had more freedom than you do right now, then you should leave the relationship. Give them a chance to find someone who is more invested in their love.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-30--Don’t Be Hard On Yourself If Your 2020 Goals Failed

Every single goal that I set for myself in 2020 has failed miserably .
I haven ’ t met the career goals I wanted , or the health goals , or the romance goals , or the socialization goals .
I didn ’ t even accomplish the most basic goals I thought were going to be a given , no work required .
2020 has been my least productive year in a long time — and I ’ m not alone in feeling that way .
Don ’ t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because this @ @ @ @ @ @ @ personal history .
You ’ ve never dealt with this much fear and uncertainty in the past .
Simply making it through this year in one piece is an accomplishment all on its own .
You should be proud of yourself for making it this far , for surviving so much pain and hatred and loss .
Don ’ t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because the uber-successful people bragging about their year online are the exceptions .
Most people didn ’ t reach their dreams this year .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ through the day .
They didn ’ t have any extra energy to spend on making their wildest dreams come true .
They needed to worry about survival before anything else .
Don ’ t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because you ’ re not the only one who feels like this year was a complete waste .
A letdown .
A ripoff .
Every single person you know is in the same boat as you .
No one was able to accomplish exactly what they wanted this year @ @ @ @ @ @ @ whether it was their vacation or wedding or graduation or prom .
We ’ re all ending this year feeling disappointed about one thing or another .
Don ’ t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because your expectations didn ’ t account for what this year would really entail .
You had no idea what you were about to face .
You had no idea this year would be completely different than any you ’ ve experienced in the past .
When you wrote down your goals for 2020 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ this year turned out overwhelmingly negative .
Don ’ t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because this was the year for going easy on yourself .
This was the year for resting whenever you found a moment of peace .
Life was already hectic enough without putting something else on your plate and working toward your biggest goals .
You might feel like you could ’ ve done more , especially when you spent so much time at home , but you did enough .
You did all that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because you should be proud you ’ re here right now .
You should be proud you made it this far .
You should be proud that there ’ s a fresh new year in front of you where anything is possible .
Whatever goals you wish you would ’ ve accomplished this year , you can save for next year .
You still have plenty of time to work toward your dreams .
You can always try again .
Don ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ goals failed because , honestly , everyone else ’ s did too .

Every single goal that I set for myself in 2020 has failed miserably. I haven’t met the career goals I wanted, or the health goals, or the romance goals, or the socialization goals. I didn’t even accomplish the most basic goals I thought were going to be a given, no work required. 2020 has been my least productive year in a long time — and I’m not alone in feeling that way.
Don’t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because this year was unlike any other in your personal history. You’ve never dealt with this much fear and uncertainty in the past. Simply making it through this year in one piece is an accomplishment all on its own. You should be proud of yourself for making it this far, for surviving so much pain and hatred and loss.
Don’t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because the uber-successful people bragging about their year online are the exceptions. Most people didn’t reach their dreams this year. They were too focused on making it through the day. They didn’t have any extra energy to spend on making their wildest dreams come true. They needed to worry about survival before anything else.
Don’t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because you’re not the only one who feels like this year was a complete waste. A letdown. A ripoff. Every single person you know is in the same boat as you. No one was able to accomplish exactly what they wanted this year. Everyone had to sacrifice things, whether it was their vacation or wedding or graduation or prom. We’re all ending this year feeling disappointed about one thing or another.
Don’t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because your expectations didn’t account for what this year would really entail. You had no idea what you were about to face. You had no idea this year would be completely different than any you’ve experienced in the past. When you wrote down your goals for 2020, you were thinking positive, but this year turned out overwhelmingly negative.
Don’t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because this was the year for going easy on yourself. This was the year for resting whenever you found a moment of peace. Life was already hectic enough without putting something else on your plate and working toward your biggest goals. You might feel like you could’ve done more, especially when you spent so much time at home, but you did enough. You did all that your soul could handle.
Don’t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because you should be proud you’re here right now. You should be proud you made it this far. You should be proud that there’s a fresh new year in front of you where anything is possible. Whatever goals you wish you would’ve accomplished this year, you can save for next year. You still have plenty of time to work toward your dreams. You can always try again.
Don’t be hard on yourself if your 2020 goals failed because, honestly, everyone else’s did too.


thoughtcatalog--2020-12-30--5 Lessons I Learned From Watching My Almost Move On

1 .
There ’ s a reason you ’ re not together .
Even though you might feel like you were soulmates , you must ’ ve been incompatible .
There must ’ ve been something you needed from them that they were unwilling to give to you .
Since the relationship wasn ’ t entirely fulfilling , that means you weren ’ t actually a perfect match .
That means that your relationship wouldn ’ t have actually worked out , even if you became official .
You need two people to be fully invested in a relationship in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you were the only one trying , that means no matter what you would ’ ve done , it never would ’ ve been enough .
2 .
Hearts are never permanently broken .
They can get cracked and bruised , but they are never completely shattered .
Right now , thinking about living without your almost might feel unbearable .
It might make you sick to your stomach .
It might make your chest physically ache .
But eventually , you ’ ll be able to look at their happiness and get @ @ @ @ @ @ @ accomplished .
You ’ ll be glad your almost ended up with someone who fits them better .
You ’ ll be glad they didn ’ t spend any more time on you if a relationship with you wasn ’ t what they truly wanted .
You ’ ll be glad they gave you the chance to move onto better things .
3 .
You deserve so much more than an almost .
Even though your almost might ’ ve been a good friend and held your hand and even kissed you on @ @ @ @ @ @ @ they weren ’ t giving you .
There was so much you were daydreaming about getting from them that they never offered you .
There are so many deep , meaningful aspects to a serious , committed relationship that you lack with an almost .
Remember , you never want to settle for someone who meets you halfway instead of waiting for someone who can give you everything you need .
It might be a long wait , but it will be worth it in the end .
4 .
Comparisons aren ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ends up in a serious relationship with someone else , your instinct is probably going to be to compare yourself to that person .
Are they more attractive ?
Are they older ?
Younger ?
Making more money ?
Living a more exciting life ?
However , you have to remember there ’ s only so much you can see through your phone screen .
Maybe they simply have strong chemistry .
Maybe they have history .
Maybe they met at the right moment .
You don ’ t know exactly why your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you and trying to figure it out is only going to make you insecure .
5 .
Love can hurt like hell .
Unfortunately , not all relationships are permanent .
Some loves are only temporary .
However , that doesn ’ t mean you should regret the memories you made with this person .
You had fun together .
You laughed together .
You grew together .
You shouldn ’ t feel embarrassed about wasting so much time on them when they ended up leaving in the end .
Remember , just @ @ @ @ @ @ @ out doesn ’ t mean it was worthless .
It still has value .
Your memories still mean something .

1. There’s a reason you’re not together. Even though you might feel like you were soulmates, you must’ve been incompatible. There must’ve been something you needed from them that they were unwilling to give to you. Since the relationship wasn’t entirely fulfilling, that means you weren’t actually a perfect match. That means that your relationship wouldn’t have actually worked out, even if you became official. You need two people to be fully invested in a relationship in order for it to work. If you were the only one trying, that means no matter what you would’ve done, it never would’ve been enough.
2. Hearts are never permanently broken. They can get cracked and bruised, but they are never completely shattered. Right now, thinking about living without your almost might feel unbearable. It might make you sick to your stomach. It might make your chest physically ache. But eventually, you’ll be able to look at their happiness and get excited about how much they’ve accomplished. You’ll be glad your almost ended up with someone who fits them better. You’ll be glad they didn’t spend any more time on you if a relationship with you wasn’t what they truly wanted. You’ll be glad they gave you the chance to move onto better things.
3. You deserve so much more than an almost. Even though your almost might’ve been a good friend and held your hand and even kissed you on occasion, there was so much that they weren’t giving you. There was so much you were daydreaming about getting from them that they never offered you. There are so many deep, meaningful aspects to a serious, committed relationship that you lack with an almost. Remember, you never want to settle for someone who meets you halfway instead of waiting for someone who can give you everything you need. It might be a long wait, but it will be worth it in the end.
4. Comparisons aren’t worth it. When your almost ends up in a serious relationship with someone else, your instinct is probably going to be to compare yourself to that person. Are they more attractive? Are they older? Younger? Making more money? Living a more exciting life? However, you have to remember there’s only so much you can see through your phone screen. Maybe they simply have strong chemistry. Maybe they have history. Maybe they met at the right moment. You don’t know exactly why your almost ended up with them instead of you and trying to figure it out is only going to make you insecure.
5. Love can hurt like hell. Unfortunately, not all relationships are permanent. Some loves are only temporary. However, that doesn’t mean you should regret the memories you made with this person. You had fun together. You laughed together. You grew together. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about wasting so much time on them when they ended up leaving in the end. Remember, just because a relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean it was worthless. It still has value. Your memories still mean something.