thoughtcatalog--2020-08-31--30 Hilarious Zoom Horror Stories That Will Make You Double-Check Your Microphone

1 .
English Zoom call .
Teacher was holding us like 15+ minutes after the period had ended .
She said something along the lines of “ keep working arduously ” and I responded with : “ If she says arduously ONE MORE TIME I ’ m going to FLIP A TABLE.
” I was not on mute .
2 .
In one of my classes , this girl wrote in the Zoom chat , “ This is so fucking boring , ” not realizing that the professor could see it .
3 .
During my English class , this @ @ @ @ @ @ @ While my teacher was talking , she almost deafened all of us on the Zoom call answering her mother ’ s questions .
Her mother ( from a distance ) : “ What class are you in ?
” Her mother : Oh , the hot teacher ?
Now , even I ’ ll admit my teacher is fairly attractive , but it does take it to another level when you get your own mother involved .
Thankfully , our teacher is a chill guy and thought the whole thing was just kind @ @ @ @ @ @ @ gave a general reminder to the class to keep mics muted .
She didn ’ t say anything for the rest of the class .
4 .
Heard the clapping sound of a kid jerking off .
His name lit up and everything .
5 .
I had a student ’ s boyfriend ( both college ) walk up behind her on Zoom , reach into her shirt , pull out her breasts , and start doing a little boob dance .
She was just laughing and playfully slapping his hands away .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ had just gone through my whole speech of making sure there was nothing in your browser history , Google search history , or names of folders that could be embarrassing or offensive .
6 .
College student here !
This was last semester so it was when we had first switched to all online .
I had an 8 am class that was Renaissance through Modern art history .
Anyway this kid in the class didn ’ t have his mic muted and he was snoring .
Like snoring snoring .
My poor @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and couldn ’ t .
She also had no idea how to mute him or kick him out so we went on with the lecture .
After about 5 minutes she finally said , “ I can ’ t fucking teach to this , ” and ended the zoom meeting .
The rest of the semester we used voice thread instead .
7 .
This was work not school , but someone posted a drawing of a hello kitty type character on the side of their presentation during a virtual meeting .
One @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , fat ass , ” which , when I looked again , yeah , the character had a pear body shape .
It was such a weird thing for someone to say though my brain just dismissed it as me mishearing it until they panicked a second later and apologized for not being on mute , and then I fully proceeded it .
Additional context : coworker is a 50+ mother of three .
8 .
Professional development , one of my coworkers told her daughter ( correctly ) , “ This is @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 9 .
An elementary student left their camera for a moment and the mother walked by naked .
Guessing she asked him to leave the room so she could change or something not realizing the camera was left on .
10 .
One time in an art class ( separate from my school ) my dad knocked on my door .
It was dead silent at that point , everyone was working on their projects .
I clicked the mute button and yelled , “ WHAT !
?
” Turns out my mic @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on .
I startled the entire class and the teacher asked if I was okay .
11 .
Dude my one teacher forgot to turn off his camera and his son was changing in the background and the son kept on looking at the camera .
12 .
I teach for an online university that requires me to conduct a weekly live session .
One morning I was lecturing and a student popped in late .
I said , “ Hello , ( student name ) !
Thanks for joining us.
” She @ @ @ @ @ @ @ my name , bitch !
” just before she realized her mic was on and turned it off .
I just laughed .
13 .
In a math class I was in last year , we were taking a test , which you have to turn your mic on for—their way of trying to prevent cheating .
Some girl apparently forgot that hers was on and started belting out Stand By You by Rachel Platten at the top of her lungs .
It went on for the entire song and she was still @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and left the call .
14 .
Some guy ’ s mother started yelling at him : “ Turn down the freaking sound , I am so sick of listening to your classes the whole day , go to the balcony and continue from there or just bloody drop out of uni , ” along with a set of few swear words .
Our professor muted him so I don ’ t really know what happened next .
15 .
A girl ’ s mom : “ Who the fuck you on the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ?
” And asking the same thing over and over .
Teacher : “ …I think your mic is on.
” 16 .
I just did 8-hour zoom calls for 7 weeks training for a new project .
On the second week , a man unmutes his call , farts the longest fart I ’ ve ever heard in my life , then when he finishes , mutes the call .
I can see others laughing while muted at his fatal error of thinking he wasn ’ t muted and so he went @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I found this to be the highlight of the week , but the following week the guy does it again !
!
!
Honestly the second time I laughed but then started to wonder if it was some kind of power move… 17 .
Ironically my IT teacher forgot to turn off his mic and camera and proceeded to get in a very heated argument on the phone with his ex-girlfriend who he has a kid with .
Did I mention that she ’ s also a teacher at our school ?
Yeah @ @ @ @ @ @ @ life before he realized .
18 .
Last week kid in my brother ’ s class forgot his camera was on during the first class and was smoking a giant gas mask bong on his face during the syllabus review .
19 .
I ’ m a college student .
Last semester we had a girl place an entire dinner order over the phone with her mic on while we all tried to tell her that her mic was on .
I think she had us muted .
She was ordering Mediterranean food @ @ @ @ @ @ @ gyro .
20 .
Not virtual , but I was a guest speaker at a music college last year .
My mic was still on when I finished , went backstage and said , “ Well that was fucking horrible.
” I wasn ’ t called back to speak again .
21 .
I ’ m not a student , but work in the tech industry .
I ’ ve been in meetings where people forget to mute themselves on LARGE company calls , with hundreds or thousands of attendees , and we @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a toilet flush .
That ’ s about as interesting as these meetings get though .
22 .
My teacher got scolded by his wife ( another teacher in school ) because she needed to work and he didn ’ t repair her computer .
He was a computer technology teacher and he just kept saying , “ Sorry honey , I forgot .
I won ’ t do it again .
I promise it will take two seconds to fix it , ” in loop because the wife went on a little @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
When he saw the mic was still on he blushed and after a moment of silence just went on with the lesson .
23 .
Was in training before classes started this year .
200ish teachers .
Only the principal and AP were speaking .
The teacher has her mic unmuted , phone rings , picks it up , and says , “ Hey .
Yeah .
Just sitting here in another one of these goddam trainings.
” 24 .
A student in my class forgot to turn off their mic , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ doors closing , tapping… ) and because of a display bug , we couldn ’ t see where the noise was from .
Then the student started saying crap about the teacher , “ Oh , yeah this is useless , he ’ s just writing on a tablet , even I could do that , etc.
” Everyone heard that .
The teacher heard them just insult him .
They didn ’ t come back to the classes after that .
25 .
In a thermodynamics class , one of the students @ @ @ @ @ @ @ is so much , ” after covering a large set of equations related to fugacity .
Everyone found it relatable .
26 .
I was producing a video for some university professors on a specific medical thing for a virtual learning course .
I was all set up to shoot the process , and the teachers excused themselves to the next office to regroup and have a chat .
I already had their wireless lav mics attached and fed to my camera , so when I sat down at the camera and put @ @ @ @ @ @ @ conversation – they were criticizing me , saying they couldn ’ t believe they hired someone so young , inexperienced in that particular medical field , how I looked , how I asked questions , etc… Oops !
At least I made them a fine video .
These days I don ’ t put my headphones on until we ’ re about to shoot .
27 .
Grade 3 kid stopped in the middle of the class meeting and took his laptop to the bathroom with him .
He sat on the toilet @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 28 .
I had to defend my thesis over Zoom and many professors came into the call to watch .
My thesis was about immune response in fish to parasites .
One professor joined late and forgot to mute her mic and we got treated to this little gem : “ Shhhh .
Mommy is learning about fish parasites , which is what you ’ ll get if you don ’ t stop peeing in the koi pond.
” 29 .
I was in a meeting with my class for the first day @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to mute myself .
I then proceeded to start noisily baby-talking my cat , who was in my lap at the time .
Embarrassing .
30 .
When I was doing an online Algebra camp , the teacher forgot to turn off his mic while we were supposed to be doing some problems .
He said , “ I fucking hate math .
”

Ask Reddit knows you need to be extra careful over Zoom.
1. English Zoom call. Teacher was holding us like 15+ minutes after the period had ended. She said something along the lines of “keep working arduously” and I responded with: “If she says arduously ONE MORE TIME I’m going to FLIP A TABLE.”
I was not on mute.
2. In one of my classes, this girl wrote in the Zoom chat, “This is so fucking boring,” not realizing that the professor could see it.
3. During my English class, this one girl forgot to mute herself. While my teacher was talking, she almost deafened all of us on the Zoom call answering her mother’s questions.
Her mother (from a distance): “What class are you in?”
Her (yelling): English!
Her mother: Oh, the hot teacher?
Her: Yeah that guy.
Now, even I’ll admit my teacher is fairly attractive, but it does take it to another level when you get your own mother involved. Thankfully, our teacher is a chill guy and thought the whole thing was just kind of funny, and kind of just gave a general reminder to the class to keep mics muted. She didn’t say anything for the rest of the class.
4. Heard the clapping sound of a kid jerking off. His name lit up and everything.
5. I had a student’s boyfriend (both college) walk up behind her on Zoom, reach into her shirt, pull out her breasts, and start doing a little boob dance. She was just laughing and playfully slapping his hands away.
This was probably 30 seconds after I had just gone through my whole speech of making sure there was nothing in your browser history, Google search history, or names of folders that could be embarrassing or offensive.
6. College student here! This was last semester so it was when we had first switched to all online. I had an 8 am class that was Renaissance through Modern art history. Anyway this kid in the class didn’t have his mic muted and he was snoring. Like snoring snoring. My poor professor tried to wake him up, and couldn’t. She also had no idea how to mute him or kick him out so we went on with the lecture. After about 5 minutes she finally said, “I can’t fucking teach to this,” and ended the zoom meeting. The rest of the semester we used voice thread instead.
7. This was work not school, but someone posted a drawing of a hello kitty type character on the side of their presentation during a virtual meeting. One of my coworkers mumbled, “damn, fat ass,” which, when I looked again, yeah, the character had a pear body shape.
It was such a weird thing for someone to say though my brain just dismissed it as me mishearing it until they panicked a second later and apologized for not being on mute, and then I fully proceeded it. Additional context: coworker is a 50+ mother of three.
8. Professional development, one of my coworkers told her daughter (correctly), “This is such a waste of my time.”
9. An elementary student left their camera for a moment and the mother walked by naked. Guessing she asked him to leave the room so she could change or something not realizing the camera was left on.
10. One time in an art class (separate from my school) my dad knocked on my door. It was dead silent at that point, everyone was working on their projects. I clicked the mute button and yelled, “WHAT!?” Turns out my mic was already muted and I turned it on. I startled the entire class and the teacher asked if I was okay.
11. Dude my one teacher forgot to turn off his camera and his son was changing in the background and the son kept on looking at the camera.
12. I teach for an online university that requires me to conduct a weekly live session. One morning I was lecturing and a student popped in late. I said, “Hello, (student name)! Thanks for joining us.” She said, “Don’t say my name, bitch!” just before she realized her mic was on and turned it off. I just laughed.
13. In a math class I was in last year, we were taking a test, which you have to turn your mic on for—their way of trying to prevent cheating. Some girl apparently forgot that hers was on and started belting out Stand By You by Rachel Platten at the top of her lungs. It went on for the entire song and she was still humming it when I finished the test and left the call.
14. Some guy’s mother started yelling at him: “Turn down the freaking sound, I am so sick of listening to your classes the whole day, go to the balcony and continue from there or just bloody drop out of uni,” along with a set of few swear words. Our professor muted him so I don’t really know what happened next.
15. A girl’s mom: “Who the fuck you on the computer fo this early in the morning?” And asking the same thing over and over.
Teacher: “…I think your mic is on.”
16. I just did 8-hour zoom calls for 7 weeks training for a new project. On the second week, a man unmutes his call, farts the longest fart I’ve ever heard in my life, then when he finishes, mutes the call. I can see others laughing while muted at his fatal error of thinking he wasn’t muted and so he went to “mute” his call.
I found this to be the highlight of the week, but the following week the guy does it again!!! Honestly the second time I laughed but then started to wonder if it was some kind of power move…
17. Ironically my IT teacher forgot to turn off his mic and camera and proceeded to get in a very heated argument on the phone with his ex-girlfriend who he has a kid with. Did I mention that she’s also a teacher at our school? Yeah, most awkward 5 minutes of my life before he realized.
18. Last week kid in my brother’s class forgot his camera was on during the first class and was smoking a giant gas mask bong on his face during the syllabus review.
19. I’m a college student. Last semester we had a girl place an entire dinner order over the phone with her mic on while we all tried to tell her that her mic was on. I think she had us muted. She was ordering Mediterranean food. I think she got a chicken gyro.
20. Not virtual, but I was a guest speaker at a music college last year. My mic was still on when I finished, went backstage and said, “Well that was fucking horrible.” I wasn’t called back to speak again.
21. I’m not a student, but work in the tech industry. I’ve been in meetings where people forget to mute themselves on LARGE company calls, with hundreds or thousands of attendees, and we’ll hear a fart and then a toilet flush. That’s about as interesting as these meetings get though.
22. My teacher got scolded by his wife (another teacher in school) because she needed to work and he didn’t repair her computer. He was a computer technology teacher and he just kept saying, “Sorry honey, I forgot. I won’t do it again. I promise it will take two seconds to fix it,” in loop because the wife went on a little rant of how he always forgot things. When he saw the mic was still on he blushed and after a moment of silence just went on with the lesson.
23. Was in training before classes started this year. 200ish teachers. Only the principal and AP were speaking. The teacher has her mic unmuted, phone rings, picks it up, and says, “Hey. Yeah. Just sitting here in another one of these goddam trainings.”
24. A student in my class forgot to turn off their mic, and we heard some background noises (doors closing, tapping…) and because of a display bug, we couldn’t see where the noise was from.
Then the student started saying crap about the teacher, “Oh, yeah this is useless, he’s just writing on a tablet, even I could do that, etc.”
Everyone heard that. The teacher heard them just insult him. They didn’t come back to the classes after that.
25. In a thermodynamics class, one of the students said, “Holy shit, this is so much,” after covering a large set of equations related to fugacity. Everyone found it relatable.
26. I was producing a video for some university professors on a specific medical thing for a virtual learning course. I was all set up to shoot the process, and the teachers excused themselves to the next office to regroup and have a chat. I already had their wireless lav mics attached and fed to my camera, so when I sat down at the camera and put on my headphones I immediately heard their conversation – they were criticizing me, saying they couldn’t believe they hired someone so young, inexperienced in that particular medical field, how I looked, how I asked questions, etc… Oops! At least I made them a fine video. These days I don’t put my headphones on until we’re about to shoot.
27. Grade 3 kid stopped in the middle of the class meeting and took his laptop to the bathroom with him. He sat on the toilet for the rest of the meeting.
28. I had to defend my thesis over Zoom and many professors came into the call to watch. My thesis was about immune response in fish to parasites. One professor joined late and forgot to mute her mic and we got treated to this little gem:
“Shhhh. Mommy is learning about fish parasites, which is what you’ll get if you don’t stop peeing in the koi pond.”
29. I was in a meeting with my class for the first day of school, and I had forgotten to mute myself. I then proceeded to start noisily baby-talking my cat, who was in my lap at the time. Embarrassing.
30. When I was doing an online Algebra camp, the teacher forgot to turn off his mic while we were supposed to be doing some problems. He said, “I fucking hate math.”


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-31--30 Things That Aren’t As Rude As You Think

1 .
Leaving a party/function early , or even at a reasonable hour .
A lot of people take offense if you leave before the end and it ’ s a drag .
2 .
Telling people what you want as far as your boundaries .
“ I really don ’ t like being touched .
Please don ’ t touch me.
” “ I prefer not to text a lot during work hours.
” “ I don ’ t like making last-minute plans .
Next time please let ’ s set up plans ahead of time.
” “ I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
I don ’ t think this is working.
” But standing up for your boundaries encourages people to stand up for theirs , too .
3 .
Not being able to do favors for someone when asked .
4 .
Asking for money that is owed to you .
It seems awkward and rude but it really isn ’ t , or at least shouldn ’ t be .
5 .
Ending a conversation with someone who is legit trying to commandeer your time .
6 .
Passing people who are walking @ @ @ @ @ @ @ just going to squeeze by .
Sorry .
Sorry about that.
” 7 .
Calling out of work when I am sick .
Most act like I ’ m faking it so it makes me feel bad whenever I need to due to medical issues .
8 .
Correcting someone if they mispronounce my name .
9 .
Waking into a restaurant and then walking out without getting anything .
You might think the cook will be offended but they ’ re probably just relieved that they don ’ t have to do @ @ @ @ @ @ @ out with people because you are tired .
11 .
Not being available 24/7 despite being reachable 24/7 .
12 .
Saying “ no thanks ” when offered more food .
Especially at a family function , there are always those relatives that offer so much .
I really don ’ t need to eat that much food .
13 .
Discussing salary .
It ’ s a good way to make sure you and your coworkers are all being treated fairly .
14 .
Asking , “ How do we know each @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s just been a while .
Help me out .
Don ’ t be offended , please .
15 .
Making a decision .
When someone asks you where you want to eat , for example , an actual suggestion is way better than : “ I don ’ t care .
Where do you want to eat ?
” 16 .
Not answering your own door when someone knocks .
18 .
Calling people out for social misconduct .
As in saying they are coming in 5 minutes only to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Saying you need space/time to yourself .
I don ’ t know why , but it always feels like I ’ m being rude when I tell people this , even though it ’ s just part of life and needing some alone time/time to think and reflect .
20 .
Telling the truth about something that might hurt but is going to save your butt in the long run .
21 .
Asking someone to correct your food order .
22 .
Saying , “ You ’ re welcome.
” It @ @ @ @ @ @ @ m agreeing that they need to thank me , so I always go with , “ No worries.
” 23 .
Not wanting to talk on the phone .
25 .
Ringing the bell when there is no one at the service counter .
26 .
Telling a doctor that you want a second opinion .
27 .
“ I ’ m not interested in your product or service .
Please remove me from your distribution list.
” 29 .
Putting your money in your wallet after a purchase with a line behind @ @ @ @ @ @ @ anything .

Ask Reddit knows it’s okay to do what’s best for yourself, even though it might feel rude.
1. Leaving a party/function early, or even at a reasonable hour. A lot of people take offense if you leave before the end and it’s a drag.
2. Telling people what you want as far as your boundaries.
“I really don’t like being touched. Please don’t touch me.”
“I prefer not to text a lot during work hours.”
“I don’t like making last-minute plans. Next time please let’s set up plans ahead of time.”
“I don’t think we really click. I don’t think this is working.”
But standing up for your boundaries encourages people to stand up for theirs, too.
3. Not being able to do favors for someone when asked.
4. Asking for money that is owed to you. It seems awkward and rude but it really isn’t, or at least shouldn’t be.
5. Ending a conversation with someone who is legit trying to commandeer your time.
6. Passing people who are walking really slowly. “Ope sorry, just going to squeeze by. Sorry. Sorry about that.”
7. Calling out of work when I am sick. Most act like I’m faking it so it makes me feel bad whenever I need to due to medical issues.
8. Correcting someone if they mispronounce my name.
9. Waking into a restaurant and then walking out without getting anything. You might think the cook will be offended but they’re probably just relieved that they don’t have to do more work.
10. Not hanging out with people because you are tired.
11. Not being available 24/7 despite being reachable 24/7.
12. Saying “no thanks” when offered more food. Especially at a family function, there are always those relatives that offer so much. I really don’t need to eat that much food.
13. Discussing salary. It’s a good way to make sure you and your coworkers are all being treated fairly.
14. Asking, “How do we know each other?” I remember you, it’s just been a while. Help me out. Don’t be offended, please.
15. Making a decision. When someone asks you where you want to eat, for example, an actual suggestion is way better than: “I don’t care. Where do you want to eat?”
16. Not answering your own door when someone knocks.
17. Asking for assistance.
18. Calling people out for social misconduct. As in saying they are coming in 5 minutes only to not hear from them again.
19. Saying you need space/time to yourself. I don’t know why, but it always feels like I’m being rude when I tell people this, even though it’s just part of life and needing some alone time/time to think and reflect.
20. Telling the truth about something that might hurt but is going to save your butt in the long run.
21. Asking someone to correct your food order.
22. Saying, “You’re welcome.” It makes me feel as though I’m agreeing that they need to thank me, so I always go with, “No worries.”
23. Not wanting to talk on the phone.
24. Making complicated coffee orders at Starbucks.
25. Ringing the bell when there is no one at the service counter.
26. Telling a doctor that you want a second opinion.
27. “I’m not interested in your product or service. Please remove me from your distribution list.”
28. Texting with proper punctuation.
29. Putting your money in your wallet after a purchase with a line behind you.
30. Saying no to anything.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-31--8 Annoying Pieces Of Toxic Positivity That Aren’t Going To Make Someone Feel Any Better

1 .
“ Everything will work out in the end.
” Maybe things will be okay tomorrow — but that doesn ’ t change the fact they are suffering today .
They can ’ t skip ahead to the part where they ’ re healed and everything is sunshine and rainbows .
They have to go through the pain first .
They have to deal with the now .
2 .
“ Other people have it much worse.
” Don ’ t tell someone suffering that it could be worse .
Of course it could be worse .
It could @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t change the fact that they are upset .
Pain isn ’ t a competition .
They don ’ t need to go through something you deem unbearable in order to earn the right to cry .
If they ’ re sad , they ’ re sad .
Their feelings are valid .
Don ’ t make them feel guilty on top of feeling upset .
3 .
“ You need to stay positive.
” When you tell someone this , it sounds like you ’ re telling them to shut up @ @ @ @ @ @ @ saying you don ’ t want to hear about their problems .
It sounds like you ’ re saying you don ’ t want to be bothered with their pain .
Most people are already trying their hardest to stay positive , so if they ’ ve reached the point where they ’ re in distress , you shouldn ’ t try to force them to think differently .
4 .
“ You ’ re going to laugh about this one day.
” Pain usually isn ’ t a laughing matter .
Think @ @ @ @ @ @ @ look back at the problems you had when you were younger and decide you were silly for caring so much , it doesn ’ t change the fact you were in pain .
You were suffering .
You might joke about it now , but it wasn ’ t funny at the time .
5 .
“ You ’ re going to learn a lot from this.
” Yes , someone might be able to learn a lesson about self-love or about cherishing every moment from the horrible things that have happened to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that same lesson in a million other ways .
They didn ’ t have to go through pain in order to make this discovery .
The pain wasn ’ t necessary for their growth .
6 .
“ Don ’ t worry about it.
” They aren ’ t able to turn off their thoughts like a lightswitch .
If something has been bothering them , then there ’ s no way to outrun it .
They need to deal with it head-on .
They need to try to solve whatever issues arrive @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it to the back of their mind and pretend everything is fine to make you more comfortable .
7 .
“ You ’ ve been through worse.
” While it ’ s never a bad thing to remind someone how strong they are , you probably don ’ t want to bring up their bad memories when they ’ re already dealing with something bad in the present .
You don ’ t need to pile on even more misery .
8 .
“ Everything happens for a reason.
” This isn ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Sometimes , it actually borders on insulting .
This is the last thing someone wants to hear when they are suffering .
Even if you ’ re right and something did happen for a reason , they aren ’ t going to care about the silver lining .
All they are going to care about is that something horrible happened to them .

1. “Everything will work out in the end.” Maybe things will be okay tomorrow — but that doesn’t change the fact they are suffering today. They can’t skip ahead to the part where they’re healed and everything is sunshine and rainbows. They have to go through the pain first. They have to deal with the now.
2. “Other people have it much worse.” Don’t tell someone suffering that it could be worse. Of course it could be worse. It could always be worse. But that doesn’t change the fact that they are upset. Pain isn’t a competition. They don’t need to go through something you deem unbearable in order to earn the right to cry. If they’re sad, they’re sad. Their feelings are valid. Don’t make them feel guilty on top of feeling upset.
3. “You need to stay positive.” When you tell someone this, it sounds like you’re telling them to shut up. It sounds like you’re saying you don’t want to hear about their problems. It sounds like you’re saying you don’t want to be bothered with their pain. Most people are already trying their hardest to stay positive, so if they’ve reached the point where they’re in distress, you shouldn’t try to force them to think differently.
4. “You’re going to laugh about this one day.” Pain usually isn’t a laughing matter. Think about it. Even though you might look back at the problems you had when you were younger and decide you were silly for caring so much, it doesn’t change the fact you were in pain. You were suffering. You might joke about it now, but it wasn’t funny at the time.
5. “You’re going to learn a lot from this.” Yes, someone might be able to learn a lesson about self-love or about cherishing every moment from the horrible things that have happened to them. But they could also learn that same lesson in a million other ways. They didn’t have to go through pain in order to make this discovery. The pain wasn’t necessary for their growth.
6. “Don’t worry about it.” They aren’t able to turn off their thoughts like a lightswitch. If something has been bothering them, then there’s no way to outrun it. They need to deal with it head-on. They need to try to solve whatever issues arrive. They can’t just push it to the back of their mind and pretend everything is fine to make you more comfortable.
7. “You’ve been through worse.” While it’s never a bad thing to remind someone how strong they are, you probably don’t want to bring up their bad memories when they’re already dealing with something bad in the present. You don’t need to pile on even more misery.
8. “Everything happens for a reason.” This isn’t as comforting as most people assume. Sometimes, it actually borders on insulting. This is the last thing someone wants to hear when they are suffering. Even if you’re right and something did happen for a reason, they aren’t going to care about the silver lining. All they are going to care about is that something horrible happened to them.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-31--20 Hilarious Ways To Tell Your Friends You’re Not Hanging Out With Them In A Pandemic

1 .
I have sworn an oath of solitude until the pestilence is purged from the lands .
2 .
Whilst you ’ re one of my very favorite disease vectors , I ’ m going to have to say no .
3 .
Can ’ t go outside , air is haunted .
4 .
I can ’ t be ranting about staying home and wearing your masks and then go to parties .
8 .
Keep your lung cooties to yourself .
9 .
I ’ ll see you guys when that vaccine hits .
Don ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 11 .
Fuck off , I ’ m too poor to be sick .
12 .
I am 27 years old , I ’ ve no money and no prospects .
I am already a burden to my parents .
And I ’ m frightened .
14 .
Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under .
15 .
I value the lives of my family , friends , self , and those forced to be in situations around me , sorry .
16 .
Fuck off , I ain ’ t dying @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t want to get that rona form ya bitch ass .
18 .
You guys are dirty careless heathens and I don ’ t wan na die from one of you douches saying the word fantastic and spitting all over each other .
19 .
I ’ m not stepping foot in your haunted plague box .
20 .
I ’ m so tired of this virus .
I want to do everything I can to make it go away .
I certainly wouldn ’ t want to be an asymptomatic carrier @ @ @ @ @ @ @ family .

Ask Reddit knows exactly what you should say the next time your friends ask to hang out.
1. I have sworn an oath of solitude until the pestilence is purged from the lands.
2. Whilst you’re one of my very favorite disease vectors, I’m going to have to say no.
3. Can’t go outside, air is haunted.
4. I can’t be ranting about staying home and wearing your masks and then go to parties.
5. During a pandemic?!?
6. Begone, plague bearer!
7. Piss off, I don’t wanna catch corona.
8. Keep your lung cooties to yourself.
9. I’ll see you guys when that vaccine hits. Don’t have too much fun without me.
10. Nah sis, corona. Love you though bitch. 💜
11. Fuck off, I’m too poor to be sick.
12. I am 27 years old, I’ve no money and no prospects. I am already a burden to my parents. And I’m frightened.
13. Dude, no. There’s a pandemic?
14. Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under.
15. I value the lives of my family, friends, self, and those forced to be in situations around me, sorry.
16. Fuck off, I ain’t dying this way.
17. I don’t want to get that rona form ya bitch ass.
18. You guys are dirty careless heathens and I don’t wanna die from one of you douches saying the word fantastic and spitting all over each other.
19. I’m not stepping foot in your haunted plague box.
20. I’m so tired of this virus. I want to do everything I can to make it go away. I certainly wouldn’t want to be an asymptomatic carrier and transmit it to my friends and family.


thoughtcatalog--2020-08-31--The Chore Each Zodiac Hates (And Will Force You To Do When You’re Dating)

The laundry .
They are too impatient .
Waiting for the washer and dryer to finish is going to drive them crazy .
Mowing the lawn .
They would much rather be cozy inside the house .
The dishes .
They hate doing anything repetitive .
They would rather cook or do something creative .
Changing the oil in the car .
They don ’ t trust themselves around machinery .
They would rather work around the house .
Cleaning the toilets .
They will feel like this job is beneath them .
Vacuuming .
They will assume the house @ @ @ @ @ @ @ completely .
Cleaning the litterbox or picking up dog poop .
They love animals — but they don ’ t love taking care of them .
Making the bed .
They don ’ t see the point when they ’ re going to use the bed again later , anyway .
Cooking .
They will get sick of coming up with new ideas for dishes and stick to microwavable meals .
Going grocery shopping .
They won ’ t want to deal with people .
Feeding the pets .
They can be forgetful @ @ @ @ @ @ @ what they need to do .
Organizing the fridge and pantry .
They don ’ t always store things in the most logical place .

Aries
The laundry. They are too impatient. Waiting for the washer and dryer to finish is going to drive them crazy.
Taurus
Mowing the lawn. They would much rather be cozy inside the house.
Gemini
The dishes. They hate doing anything repetitive. They would rather cook or do something creative.
Cancer
Changing the oil in the car. They don’t trust themselves around machinery. They would rather work around the house.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
Leo
Cleaning the toilets. They will feel like this job is beneath them.
Virgo
Vacuuming. They will assume the house is clean enough and skip this chore completely.
Libra
Cleaning the litterbox or picking up dog poop. They love animals — but they don’t love taking care of them.
Scorpio
Making the bed. They don’t see the point when they’re going to use the bed again later, anyway.
Sagittarius
Cooking. They will get sick of coming up with new ideas for dishes and stick to microwavable meals.
Capricorn
Going grocery shopping. They won’t want to deal with people.
Aquarius
Feeding the pets. They can be forgetful and won’t remember to do what they need to do.
Pisces
Organizing the fridge and pantry. They don’t always store things in the most logical place.


thoughtcatalog--2020-09-01--A Love Letter To Every Virgo

A Love Letter To Every Virgo

I know it seems a little overly-sentimental , but honestly , I don ’ t know what I would do without you .
I like to think I ’ m pretty put together , but compared to you ?
I start reevaluating things .
Because you really do seem to have it all figured out .
I know you ’ re hard on yourself .
I really do .
I mean , you have high standards , and you hold people in your life to them .
I don ’ t think many people would guess how much you criticize @ @ @ @ @ @ @ stress about the decision you made , the thing you said , the opportunity you didn ’ t take .
You put so much pressure on yourself to succeed and achieve perfection because you radiate it already .
People seem to expect it from you because you give off that vibe so effortlessly .
I hope you know it ’ s okay to not be perfect all the time , though .
Your work ethic and ability to achieve your goals impresses me and astounds me constantly .
I feel like you really @ @ @ @ @ @ @ do .
Yet you don ’ t need to put all this pressure on yourself , because you ’ re still human .
It ’ s okay if some things don ’ t pan out right now .
It ’ s not the end of it all if you don ’ t do every single thing right .
Yet despite the constant criticism you inflict on yourself , I know you are aware of your worth .
When it comes to needing someone to listen , I know you ’ ll be there @ @ @ @ @ @ @ but you actually enjoy being there for people .
You don ’ t view it as a burden .
You listen with intent and make people feel like they ’ re being heard .
And when they need help solving a problem ?
You ’ re the first person they turn to .
You not only give the best advice , but you don ’ t sugarcoat it .
You tell things as they are , and if someone is wrong , you won ’ t lie to them .
You believe in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ everyone feel better .
I admire that about you so , so much .
And when it comes to showing how much you care ?
It ’ s hard to find people who go as far as you do .
You aren ’ t mushy or overly sentimental with your words , but your actions scream it nonetheless .
You make people feel nurtured and taken care of , and having someone like you in my corner fills me with so much gratitude , I can ’ t even express it .
You @ @ @ @ @ @ @ so many different forms .
I know you have a hard time not building walls and keeping others out of your personal life .
You put on a very stern face , and you do it out of protection .
Yet I also know you ’ re a pretty big softie underneath it all .
When someone is lucky enough to be close to you and see your vulnerability and emotion , they realize just how compassionate you are .
You might not want the rest of the world to know that , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ about you .
Ultimately you make me want to be a better version of myself .
You don ’ t make me feel like I have to change , but you make me want to .
You make me believe that I am capable of so much because you see that potential in me .
I know you wouldn ’ t tell me I could handle something if you didn ’ t believe it .
You inspire me with how you go about your own life , and you make me want to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ know that you ’ ll be there to support and help me every step of the way- even on the days I may not want you to .
When it comes down to it , you ’ ve made my life better just by being in it , and I ’ m so thankful that I know you .

I know it seems a little overly-sentimental, but honestly, I don’t know what I would do without you.
I like to think I’m pretty put together, but compared to you? I start reevaluating things. Because you really do seem to have it all figured out.
I know you’re hard on yourself. I really do. I mean, you have high standards, and you hold people in your life to them. I don’t think many people would guess how much you criticize yourself, though. How often you stress about the decision you made, the thing you said, the opportunity you didn’t take. You put so much pressure on yourself to succeed and achieve perfection because you radiate it already. People seem to expect it from you because you give off that vibe so effortlessly.
I hope you know it’s okay to not be perfect all the time, though. Your work ethic and ability to achieve your goals impresses me and astounds me constantly. I feel like you really are capable of anything you want to do. Yet you don’t need to put all this pressure on yourself, because you’re still human. It’s okay if some things don’t pan out right now. It’s not the end of it all if you don’t do every single thing right.
For the person who is always googling astrological compatibility when they meet someone new. How You’ll Do Everything Based On Your Zodiac Sign includes an exhaustive analysis of each sign’s personality. You’ll learn which high school clique represents them (Pisces are the cool art kids), who would get eaten first in a scary movie (Gemini, obviously) to how each sign prefers to say ‘I love you’ (for Taurus, it’s with good food). Alternating between silly, sweet, and serious, this book is filled with deep dives into the mind of everyone whose birth chart you can get your hands on. Buy now
Yet despite the constant criticism you inflict on yourself, I know you are aware of your worth.
When it comes to needing someone to listen, I know you’ll be there. Not only are you dependable, but you actually enjoy being there for people. You don’t view it as a burden. You listen with intent and make people feel like they’re being heard. And when they need help solving a problem? You’re the first person they turn to. You not only give the best advice, but you don’t sugarcoat it. You tell things as they are, and if someone is wrong, you won’t lie to them. You believe in people bettering themselves, not necessarily making everyone feel better. I admire that about you so, so much.
And when it comes to showing how much you care? It’s hard to find people who go as far as you do. You aren’t mushy or overly sentimental with your words, but your actions scream it nonetheless. You make people feel nurtured and taken care of, and having someone like you in my corner fills me with so much gratitude, I can’t even express it. You show me how love can take on so many different forms.
I know you have a hard time not building walls and keeping others out of your personal life. You put on a very stern face, and you do it out of protection. Yet I also know you’re a pretty big softie underneath it all. When someone is lucky enough to be close to you and see your vulnerability and emotion, they realize just how compassionate you are. You might not want the rest of the world to know that, but it’s something I adore about you.
Ultimately you make me want to be a better version of myself. You don’t make me feel like I have to change, but you make me want to. You make me believe that I am capable of so much because you see that potential in me. I know you wouldn’t tell me I could handle something if you didn’t believe it. You inspire me with how you go about your own life, and you make me want to do the same with mine. I know that you’ll be there to support and help me every step of the way- even on the days I may not want you to.
When it comes down to it, you’ve made my life better just by being in it, and I’m so thankful that I know you.


thoughtcatalog--2020-09-01--Here Are The September 2020 Horoscopes For Each Sign

September will be one of the more challenging months , no thanks to the Mars Retrograde beginning on the 9th and the current squares that Mars has with Saturn and eventually Pluto and Jupiter .
We are getting closer to the end of the year as we have crossed over to the second half , which means that it would be in our best business to take things at a slower speed and be more methodical .
The Full Moon in Pisces on the 2nd promises a more calming transit for us , as Pisces will encourage us to take @ @ @ @ @ @ @ we can tolerate .
Mercury enters Libra on the 5th , which will be a different shift from the intensity of Mercury in Virgo .
This lighthearted Mercury transit will be opposing Mars and squaring Saturn , Pluto and Jupiter , so it isn ’ t smooth sailing there .
However , the Venus shift into Leo will be a fun transit that begins on the 6th .
Show off , flirt , create , explore and have fun with Venus in a fire sign—we will all want to feel loved and adored @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 22nd , changing the mood once more as this period will be filled with conflicts to Saturn , but we are all used to it by now .
Finally , on the 29th , Saturn goes direct and we can all get ready to welcome back Saturn in Aquarius later in the year .
2020 has shown up with challenges , and we are close to the final stretch .
Be patient and don ’ t panic .
This month will be filled with a lot of changes , and you will work @ @ @ @ @ @ @ highlights that part of your chart focused on self-care and routine .
Switch things up if you are not feeling satisfied with your health and remember to take a break when you need it .
The Four of Swords is your card for the month , a reminder to go slow , rest , and remember to just relax .
Mars is your ruler , and it pretty much causes some good bursts of energy , but at the same time , you can experience the exhaustion afterwards .
Mars will be going @ @ @ @ @ @ @ feel tense and irritated , since you might have to do some rework on topics highlighted a few months ago .
Take it easy this second time around .
Saturn finally goes direct on the 29th , bringing you a period of relaxation as you can finally carry on with the rest of the year without feeling too much of the retrograde ’ s lessons .
You still have to worry about the great Mars squares with Saturn , Pluto , and Jupiter , but you will do just fine .
A favorable @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fire sign Leo on the 6th .
Get ready for excitement in your life , as you become more confident in you with the powerful trine to your rising , Sun , or Moon .
This can be a period of romance if you want to or just a good way to relax and have fun from the comforts of your home .
The Sun enters Libra on the 22nd , a good time for reflection and to add some harmony into your life .
Take some cues from your sister sign and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Mars will be stressed this month .
We know you love to go full speed ahead , but this time around it is best to just go slower than you are accustomed to .
Too much forcefulness and not enough patience can make things more challenging .
Relax , go slow , and take it one day at a time , Aries .
Virgo season is a favorable time for you as you breathe in happily knowing things will flow just a little bit easier with you this month .
Your card for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Reversed , a sign you are ready to let go of those karmic ties and will focus on getting ahead emotionally , and spiritually .
Let go of those grudges , because it will help you lighten the load .
It can be a bit of a dreaded card for many , but this is a sign of conclusions as you get ready to change your path in life .
The Full Moon in Pisces on the second is a good period for you to reconnect and to put yourself more on the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a culmination regarding your progress with friends or networking .
Through this journey , you might have met a lot of interesting people and let go of those who you were once closer with since they were not reciprocating your energy .
Venus will enter the sign of Leo on 6th , initiating a period of relaxation and more of a focus on your immediate environment at home .
You might feel inspired to beautify or make changes to your surroundings .
This energy can also make you nostalgic for the past .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ allowing you to get more amped to produce and work to your heart ’ s content .
You might feel the benefic energy from this planet and might want to overindulge—make sure to know your limits .
The New Moon on the 17th will help shape the course for the next year .
Dream big or go home is the energy that I get from this .
You can feel more inspired to produce more content or explore your romantic side , or you may just decide to bring more fun and excitement @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to bring you loads of excitement as long as you can handle that Mars and Saturn energy with grace and care .
But as an earth sign , you are used to going slower than most and producing greatness .
There is a lot to expect from one of the most complicated months of the year .
As a Gemini , you are up for any challenge .
The month begins on the 2nd with the Full Moon in Pisces , creating some tensions with your sign as you begin to see the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ had begun earlier in the year .
You have made up your mind and are considering the steps to redirect your path .
You have the confidence needed now to go forth .
Mercury in Libra on the 5th is a period of excitement for you because it can signal the beginnings of potential romances ( if you are single ) or a joyful time for those partnered .
It will be mentally stimulating and an inspirational journey for you .
Temperance Reversed is your card for the month , a reminder to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ will feel confident enough to take on the world .
Venus will enter Leo on the 6th , a shift you are probably still adjusting to , since Venus has been in your sign for quite some time .
Another creative moment filled with inspiration for those Geminis in the creative field , you will really be thriving this month with everything favoring what you love to do , and that is communicate .
Mars will go Retrograde on the 9th , giving you a moment to contemplate who is in your social @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
However , the squares with the Capricorn planets might make things frustrating for you , and there can be some discords within your groups .
Some great news for you is that Saturn will be going direct on the 29th as it begins its final say in Capricorn .
You will feel the shift in your foundation , as you begin to move forward and away from the blockages that Saturn might have had on your financials .
Finally , the Sun enters fellow air sign Libra on the 22nd , promising @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
A month filled with some struggles with the Five of Wands appearing in your reading .
Learn to pick and choose your battles , especially with Mars Retrograding on the 9th promising a period of awkwardness as you must revisit any conflicts you faced in the previous month .
The Full Moon in Pisces on the 2nd will electrify you and your ideologies .
What have you learned this year that has helped you to transform ?
This is not limited to education ; it could be a person or an incident @ @ @ @ @ @ @ might have learned to appreciate a situation or people more due to the experience .
Everything will be highlighted with this transit .
Venus will switch to Leo on the 6th , allowing you to focus on growth and your own expansion .
Set those seeds now for more to come as the year progresses , because Venus might bring surprises , especially when it makes some good aspects to Mars .
Jupiter goes direct on the 12th , easing some of the tensions you might have had with others .
Saturn follows @ @ @ @ @ @ @ more breathing room in the area of partnerships .
Try not to get into any conflicts with friends and lovers at this time , because you might regret it .
Take a diplomatic approach when the Sun enters the sign of Libra on the 22nd , bringing some harmony to your home .
You will not have to worry about the opposition to Mars until next month .
Mercury enters fellow water sign Scorpio on the 27th , allowing you to live your best life .
You will have the right words for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ magnetism you exude will be over the roof .
Overall , keep the peace and take it easy this month .
We are entering the final months of the year and you are ready for the changes .
Venus finally enters your sign on the 6th , electrifying you and making others more attracted to your charisma and charm this season .
The Mars Retrograde on the 9th will not be as bad for you as you learn to create balance in your surroundings and work .
You will have the opportunity to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and what should be changed when it comes to projects .
Try to bring some harmony with your working environment because this retrograde can cause some friction .
Nevertheless , you are equipped to navigate this energy as you put yourself in work mode and get things done .
You can surprise many people if you continue to go at a pace you are comfortable with—no need to rush , just take things easy .
The New Moon in Virgo on the 17th will be a promising period as you focus on producing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
You are hyped to get to the top and you are making the plans and moves needed to create your security this month .
Your card for the month is .
The Fool Reversed .
Abandon those worries and get that plan or goal you ’ ve dreamt of in motion .
Your birthday month is here !
Happy birthday to all the Virgos .
As an Earth sign , you will be welcoming the season with open arms as you begin to witness Saturn ’ s final rounds in Capricorn .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ sister sign Pisces , activating those themes relating to relationships and your outlook on the future potential ones .
On the 6th , Mercury enters Libra , moving your concentration onto financials .
There could be folks providing some advice , but you might be opposed to it , thanks to Mars in Aries creating some conflicts .
Venus will enter Leo on the 6th , adding a very different vibe as you might take on a time travel session to your previous relationships and begin to focus on changes needed to make @ @ @ @ @ @ @ The Mars Retrograde on the 9th has us on our toes , as it gets ready for more bruising from Saturn and Pluto .
You are fine with this but will still feel the resistance that Saturn puts up .
The planet of rules goes direct on the 29th , allowing you to go forward with plans without having to reconsider changes .
This ties in with the Knight of Pentacles Reversed , your card for the month .
Do not look for shortcuts .
The trick here is to be patient .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ be sailing smoothly through the storm until December .
Later this month , we will be in your birthday season .
Wow , how time flies .
The month opens with the Full Moon in Pisces on the 2nd , allowing you to make some much-needed changes or break some patterns .
This Full Moon is a reminder to level up , take care of yourself , and look to the future .
Mercury enters your sign on the 5th , getting you in the zone , and others will take notice .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ your personal planets will cause some friction with others .
Do your thing and diffuse the situation .
Speaking of Mars , the planet goes retrograde on the 9th , bringing a new perspective to you with regards to relationships .
Consider the power dynamics in your relationships and make those necessary changes .
Try to maintain a balance but do not use your power for bad ( through manipulation ) and do not let others have power over you .
The New Moon in Virgo on the 17th will bring some much-needed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for your season .
This will be a transit that inspires some introspection .
The Sun enters your sign on the 22nd , making you more alluring .
And finally , you will be overjoyed to see that Saturn is direct on the 29th .
Just several months before the transit through Capricorn is over for it , allowing Cardinal signs to breathe a little easier .
Your card for the month is the Page of Pentacles—set the vision to make that money .
Mercury ’ s move to Scorpio on the 27th @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in your resources and consider valuable methods of expanding .
Be wise and flourish .
This month , many Scorpios will be flowing with this Virgo energy and the High Priestess as your card for the month shows how your intuitive self will make the best of things by showing others your power , grace and psychic ability .
Full Moons are a fun time and this one in Pisces on the 2nd makes a trine to your sign , adding a little spark in your romantic life .
It will have the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ but you can still find ways to stir up passions and feel more connected to those you are involved with .
On the 6th , Venus enters Leo , an important transit that shows others what you are made of .
It will ignite your house of honors , and you will do your best to show everyone why you deserve to be at the top .
You have been in full control of your destiny since Leo season began and your job is not done here yet .
Mars is going retrograde @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to your unstoppable drive , and when Mars connects with Venus , this can be rewarding for you but frustrating with the squares that Saturn and Pluto are making .
The lesson here is not to give up , but as a Scorpio , you have mastered the art of patience .
The New Moon in Virgo on the 17th can bring out the social butterfly in you and add some heavy nostalgia as it creates some tough aspects to Neptune .
Wipe the tears away and make sure you are seeing things @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 22nd , the Sun enters Libra , a shift in dynamic as you take the opportunity to take a much-needed break before your season begins .
All that excitement will have you centered once more and finding opportunities for some self-care .
Finally , on the 29th , Saturn goes direct , and it ends the month of September with a bang .
We are getting closer to the end of the year , and you are probably starting to feel the shift that is happening with the Mars and Saturn tension brewing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the Saturn transit , and its ingress in Aquarius opened up a new door you would be excited to venture through .
The month begins with the Full Moon in Pisces on the 2nd .
You can see that certain themes from earlier on in the year begin to repeat themselves relating to work and home .
There might be changes you need to make before moving on to your next step .
Creating a balance between home and career will allow for you to feel reassured and ready to face challenges .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ the 6th opens up your world to the new and unexplored .
You will feel adventurous here and with the trine to Mars , things might just be filled with more surprises but expect a slowing down of things with the ongoing square Mars has with both Saturn and Pluto .
The party begins , but it might not go at your desired speed .
Your card for the month is Justice Reversed .
This is synonymous with Saturn going direct towards the end of the month and the Sun entering Libra on @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and care , and control the explosiveness that Mars might inspire .
Take a lesson from your sister sign Libra and learn the diplomatic route .
Taking the high road is sometimes the best option when you are stressed and overworked .
What you will enjoy about this month is that it settles into the energy you are accustomed to .
However , there are still many challenges ahead with Mars squaring planets in your sign .
The Full Moon on the 2nd will make you feel a little relieved with the influx @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
A stimulating and joyful experience for you is bound to happen this transit .
When Venus enters the sign of Leo on the 6th , you will dive deeper into a subconscious level , clearing out baggage from old relationships or just making peace with your past .
Cardinals are not looking forward to the Mars Retrograde on the 9th .
Mars in Aries has created tension for us all , and now we start to feel it full force with the squares to Saturn becoming more prominent up to October and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for the New Moon in Virgo on the 17th , a beneficial time for you which will help you settle and get things done ( even though that is never an issue for you ) .
You are curious , confident , and ready to dive in and learn .
On the 22nd , the Sun enters fellow Cardinal sign , Libra , causing you to focus on your career for the next several weeks .
Your stability at home impacts the successes you will have at work or moving forward with your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you , but you will surely have the assist from Saturn to make you slow down and handle conflicts with care , even if it all feels frustrating for you the first time around .
The Eight of Wands appears in your reading for the month , showing that although you might take things slowly , there will be events when you are pushed to go faster .
Saturn goes direct on the 29th , so this can implicate that from here on out , we are all moving full speed ahead .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ Pisces on the 2nd will be a time to get reacquainted with who you are as well as your values .
This is a learning period , which is appropriate before Saturn officially moves in your sign in December .
Something to look forward to is the shift of Venus from the passions of Cancer to vibrant Leo on the 6th .
It can be a confidence-building transit as you identify the things you seek in others that you want in your life .
Expect to meet or reconnect with people that share @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fire makes a great trine to Mars in Aries , which goes retrograde on the 9th .
My advice to you ?
Take things slow and make sure to watch your tongue and not to rush things , especially since your card for the month is Page of Swords Reversed .
Mars in Aries wants us to go full speed ahead , but Saturn is telling him to slow down and redo things .
Any topics relating to July or early August might pop back up for you , so think wisely and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Moon in Virgo on the 17th will have you once again revisiting the topic of you .
It is a time to shed parts of yourself as a way to rebuild for the next phase .
With the Sun moving into air sign Libra on the 22nd , you begin to dive into a challenging October , filled with good learning experiences and opportunities .
Saturn finally goes direct on the 29th , you can just feel the shift with this transit , as the planet of restriction and lessons gets ready to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ exciting month for you with the Two of Cups Reversed , a promising new beginning , especially with the Sun in Virgo highlighting your relationships and potential partnerships .
This month will manage to pull some strong emotions out of you beginning with the Full Moon in your sign on the 2nd .
You are ready , you have learned , and this is the next phase for your growth .
Pisces have stepped up their game and are ready for that next phase .
2020 has strengthened you , and you feel @ @ @ @ @ @ @ shedding and this stronger version emerging .
On the 6th , Venus enters Leo , motivating you to switch up your routines and to fuel your ambitions .
You know what you want and are not afraid to get it .
The Mars retrograde on the 9th serves as a reminder to take it easy and do not be impulsive when it comes to spending .
You are working hard for your money now , so do be more methodical about what you use it on and make sure it isn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in Virgo on the 17th brings the focus back to relationships , as you make the choice to claim your independence and to honor yourself .
Your heart will be ready for the self-love before you fall in love .

September will be one of the more challenging months, no thanks to the Mars Retrograde beginning on the 9th and the current squares that Mars has with Saturn and eventually Pluto and Jupiter. We are getting closer to the end of the year as we have crossed over to the second half, which means that it would be in our best business to take things at a slower speed and be more methodical. The Full Moon in Pisces on the 2nd promises a more calming transit for us, as Pisces will encourage us to take things easier and go at a pace we can tolerate. Mercury enters Libra on the 5th, which will be a different shift from the intensity of Mercury in Virgo. This lighthearted Mercury transit will be opposing Mars and squaring Saturn, Pluto and Jupiter, so it isn’t smooth sailing there. However, the Venus shift into Leo will be a fun transit that begins on the 6th. Show off, flirt, create, explore and have fun with Venus in a fire sign—we will all want to feel loved and adored. The Sun enters Libra on the 22nd, changing the mood once more as this period will be filled with conflicts to Saturn, but we are all used to it by now. Finally, on the 29th, Saturn goes direct and we can all get ready to welcome back Saturn in Aquarius later in the year. 2020 has shown up with challenges, and we are close to the final stretch. Be patient and don’t panic.
Aries
This month will be filled with a lot of changes, and you will work harder for those accomplishments. Virgo season highlights that part of your chart focused on self-care and routine. Switch things up if you are not feeling satisfied with your health and remember to take a break when you need it. The Four of Swords is your card for the month, a reminder to go slow, rest, and remember to just relax. Mars is your ruler, and it pretty much causes some good bursts of energy, but at the same time, you can experience the exhaustion afterwards. Mars will be going retrograde on the 9th, making you feel tense and irritated, since you might have to do some rework on topics highlighted a few months ago. Take it easy this second time around. Saturn finally goes direct on the 29th, bringing you a period of relaxation as you can finally carry on with the rest of the year without feeling too much of the retrograde’s lessons. You still have to worry about the great Mars squares with Saturn, Pluto, and Jupiter, but you will do just fine. A favorable transit for you is Venus entering fellow fire sign Leo on the 6th. Get ready for excitement in your life, as you become more confident in you with the powerful trine to your rising, Sun, or Moon. This can be a period of romance if you want to or just a good way to relax and have fun from the comforts of your home. The Sun enters Libra on the 22nd, a good time for reflection and to add some harmony into your life. Take some cues from your sister sign and learn to pick your battles, since Mars will be stressed this month. We know you love to go full speed ahead, but this time around it is best to just go slower than you are accustomed to. Too much forcefulness and not enough patience can make things more challenging. Relax, go slow, and take it one day at a time, Aries.
Taurus
Virgo season is a favorable time for you as you breathe in happily knowing things will flow just a little bit easier with you this month. Your card for the month is the Ten of Swords Reversed, a sign you are ready to let go of those karmic ties and will focus on getting ahead emotionally, and spiritually. Let go of those grudges, because it will help you lighten the load. It can be a bit of a dreaded card for many, but this is a sign of conclusions as you get ready to change your path in life. The Full Moon in Pisces on the second is a good period for you to reconnect and to put yourself more on the social media spotlight. You will see a culmination regarding your progress with friends or networking. Through this journey, you might have met a lot of interesting people and let go of those who you were once closer with since they were not reciprocating your energy. Venus will enter the sign of Leo on 6th, initiating a period of relaxation and more of a focus on your immediate environment at home. You might feel inspired to beautify or make changes to your surroundings. This energy can also make you nostalgic for the past. Jupiter goes direct on the 12th, allowing you to get more amped to produce and work to your heart’s content. You might feel the benefic energy from this planet and might want to overindulge—make sure to know your limits. The New Moon on the 17th will help shape the course for the next year. Dream big or go home is the energy that I get from this. You can feel more inspired to produce more content or explore your romantic side, or you may just decide to bring more fun and excitement into your life. This month promises to bring you loads of excitement as long as you can handle that Mars and Saturn energy with grace and care. But as an earth sign, you are used to going slower than most and producing greatness.
Gemini
There is a lot to expect from one of the most complicated months of the year. As a Gemini, you are up for any challenge. The month begins on the 2nd with the Full Moon in Pisces, creating some tensions with your sign as you begin to see the culmination relating to work or career that had begun earlier in the year. You have made up your mind and are considering the steps to redirect your path. You have the confidence needed now to go forth. Mercury in Libra on the 5th is a period of excitement for you because it can signal the beginnings of potential romances (if you are single) or a joyful time for those partnered. It will be mentally stimulating and an inspirational journey for you. Temperance Reversed is your card for the month, a reminder to find that balance within and then you will feel confident enough to take on the world. Venus will enter Leo on the 6th, a shift you are probably still adjusting to, since Venus has been in your sign for quite some time. Another creative moment filled with inspiration for those Geminis in the creative field, you will really be thriving this month with everything favoring what you love to do, and that is communicate. Mars will go Retrograde on the 9th, giving you a moment to contemplate who is in your social circle and your communication or networking techniques. However, the squares with the Capricorn planets might make things frustrating for you, and there can be some discords within your groups. Some great news for you is that Saturn will be going direct on the 29th as it begins its final say in Capricorn. You will feel the shift in your foundation, as you begin to move forward and away from the blockages that Saturn might have had on your financials. Finally, the Sun enters fellow air sign Libra on the 22nd, promising another period of self-discovery filled with thrills.
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Cancer
A month filled with some struggles with the Five of Wands appearing in your reading. Learn to pick and choose your battles, especially with Mars Retrograding on the 9th promising a period of awkwardness as you must revisit any conflicts you faced in the previous month. The Full Moon in Pisces on the 2nd will electrify you and your ideologies. What have you learned this year that has helped you to transform? This is not limited to education; it could be a person or an incident that has changed your outlook. You might have learned to appreciate a situation or people more due to the experience. Everything will be highlighted with this transit. Venus will switch to Leo on the 6th, allowing you to focus on growth and your own expansion. Set those seeds now for more to come as the year progresses, because Venus might bring surprises, especially when it makes some good aspects to Mars. Jupiter goes direct on the 12th, easing some of the tensions you might have had with others. Saturn follows suit on the 29th, giving you more breathing room in the area of partnerships. Try not to get into any conflicts with friends and lovers at this time, because you might regret it. Take a diplomatic approach when the Sun enters the sign of Libra on the 22nd, bringing some harmony to your home. You will not have to worry about the opposition to Mars until next month. Mercury enters fellow water sign Scorpio on the 27th, allowing you to live your best life. You will have the right words for those you are interested in. The magnetism you exude will be over the roof. Overall, keep the peace and take it easy this month.
Leo
We are entering the final months of the year and you are ready for the changes. Venus finally enters your sign on the 6th, electrifying you and making others more attracted to your charisma and charm this season. The Mars Retrograde on the 9th will not be as bad for you as you learn to create balance in your surroundings and work. You will have the opportunity to reflect on what needs to be improved and what should be changed when it comes to projects. Try to bring some harmony with your working environment because this retrograde can cause some friction. Nevertheless, you are equipped to navigate this energy as you put yourself in work mode and get things done. You can surprise many people if you continue to go at a pace you are comfortable with—no need to rush, just take things easy. The New Moon in Virgo on the 17th will be a promising period as you focus on producing, maintaining, and stabilizing your environment. You are hyped to get to the top and you are making the plans and moves needed to create your security this month. Your card for the month is. The Fool Reversed. Abandon those worries and get that plan or goal you’ve dreamt of in motion.
Virgo
Your birthday month is here! Happy birthday to all the Virgos. As an Earth sign, you will be welcoming the season with open arms as you begin to witness Saturn’s final rounds in Capricorn. September 2nd is a Full Moon in sister sign Pisces, activating those themes relating to relationships and your outlook on the future potential ones. On the 6th, Mercury enters Libra, moving your concentration onto financials. There could be folks providing some advice, but you might be opposed to it, thanks to Mars in Aries creating some conflicts. Venus will enter Leo on the 6th, adding a very different vibe as you might take on a time travel session to your previous relationships and begin to focus on changes needed to make before transiting Venus enters your sign. The Mars Retrograde on the 9th has us on our toes, as it gets ready for more bruising from Saturn and Pluto. You are fine with this but will still feel the resistance that Saturn puts up. The planet of rules goes direct on the 29th, allowing you to go forward with plans without having to reconsider changes. This ties in with the Knight of Pentacles Reversed, your card for the month. Do not look for shortcuts. The trick here is to be patient. Go with the flow and you will be sailing smoothly through the storm until December.
Libra
Later this month, we will be in your birthday season. Wow, how time flies. The month opens with the Full Moon in Pisces on the 2nd, allowing you to make some much-needed changes or break some patterns. This Full Moon is a reminder to level up, take care of yourself, and look to the future. Mercury enters your sign on the 5th, getting you in the zone, and others will take notice. With the opposition that Mars has on your personal planets will cause some friction with others. Do your thing and diffuse the situation. Speaking of Mars, the planet goes retrograde on the 9th, bringing a new perspective to you with regards to relationships. Consider the power dynamics in your relationships and make those necessary changes. Try to maintain a balance but do not use your power for bad (through manipulation) and do not let others have power over you. The New Moon in Virgo on the 17th will bring some much-needed rest and transformations as you get ready for your season. This will be a transit that inspires some introspection. The Sun enters your sign on the 22nd, making you more alluring. And finally, you will be overjoyed to see that Saturn is direct on the 29th. Just several months before the transit through Capricorn is over for it, allowing Cardinal signs to breathe a little easier. Your card for the month is the Page of Pentacles—set the vision to make that money. Mercury’s move to Scorpio on the 27th is an inspirational time as you weigh in your resources and consider valuable methods of expanding. Be wise and flourish.
Scorpio
This month, many Scorpios will be flowing with this Virgo energy and the High Priestess as your card for the month shows how your intuitive self will make the best of things by showing others your power, grace and psychic ability. Full Moons are a fun time and this one in Pisces on the 2nd makes a trine to your sign, adding a little spark in your romantic life. It will have the tone of Pisces with the melancholy, but you can still find ways to stir up passions and feel more connected to those you are involved with. On the 6th, Venus enters Leo, an important transit that shows others what you are made of. It will ignite your house of honors, and you will do your best to show everyone why you deserve to be at the top. You have been in full control of your destiny since Leo season began and your job is not done here yet. Mars is going retrograde on the 9th, adding more fuel to your unstoppable drive, and when Mars connects with Venus, this can be rewarding for you but frustrating with the squares that Saturn and Pluto are making. The lesson here is not to give up, but as a Scorpio, you have mastered the art of patience. The New Moon in Virgo on the 17th can bring out the social butterfly in you and add some heavy nostalgia as it creates some tough aspects to Neptune. Wipe the tears away and make sure you are seeing things clearly during this time. On the 22nd, the Sun enters Libra, a shift in dynamic as you take the opportunity to take a much-needed break before your season begins. All that excitement will have you centered once more and finding opportunities for some self-care. Finally, on the 29th, Saturn goes direct, and it ends the month of September with a bang.
Sagittarius
We are getting closer to the end of the year, and you are probably starting to feel the shift that is happening with the Mars and Saturn tension brewing. Your world has been shaken by the Saturn transit, and its ingress in Aquarius opened up a new door you would be excited to venture through. The month begins with the Full Moon in Pisces on the 2nd. You can see that certain themes from earlier on in the year begin to repeat themselves relating to work and home. There might be changes you need to make before moving on to your next step. Creating a balance between home and career will allow for you to feel reassured and ready to face challenges. Venus entering the sign of Leo on the 6th opens up your world to the new and unexplored. You will feel adventurous here and with the trine to Mars, things might just be filled with more surprises but expect a slowing down of things with the ongoing square Mars has with both Saturn and Pluto. The party begins, but it might not go at your desired speed. Your card for the month is Justice Reversed. This is synonymous with Saturn going direct towards the end of the month and the Sun entering Libra on the 22nd. Do things with patience and care, and control the explosiveness that Mars might inspire. Take a lesson from your sister sign Libra and learn the diplomatic route. Taking the high road is sometimes the best option when you are stressed and overworked.
Capricorn
What you will enjoy about this month is that it settles into the energy you are accustomed to. However, there are still many challenges ahead with Mars squaring planets in your sign. The Full Moon on the 2nd will make you feel a little relieved with the influx of connections you might receive from others. A stimulating and joyful experience for you is bound to happen this transit. When Venus enters the sign of Leo on the 6th, you will dive deeper into a subconscious level, clearing out baggage from old relationships or just making peace with your past. Cardinals are not looking forward to the Mars Retrograde on the 9th. Mars in Aries has created tension for us all, and now we start to feel it full force with the squares to Saturn becoming more prominent up to October and more hurt in November. Buckle up for the New Moon in Virgo on the 17th, a beneficial time for you which will help you settle and get things done (even though that is never an issue for you). You are curious, confident, and ready to dive in and learn. On the 22nd, the Sun enters fellow Cardinal sign, Libra, causing you to focus on your career for the next several weeks. Your stability at home impacts the successes you will have at work or moving forward with your career. Mars might try to stop you, but you will surely have the assist from Saturn to make you slow down and handle conflicts with care, even if it all feels frustrating for you the first time around. The Eight of Wands appears in your reading for the month, showing that although you might take things slowly, there will be events when you are pushed to go faster. Saturn goes direct on the 29th, so this can implicate that from here on out, we are all moving full speed ahead.
Aquarius
For you, the Full Moon in Pisces on the 2nd will be a time to get reacquainted with who you are as well as your values. This is a learning period, which is appropriate before Saturn officially moves in your sign in December. Something to look forward to is the shift of Venus from the passions of Cancer to vibrant Leo on the 6th. It can be a confidence-building transit as you identify the things you seek in others that you want in your life. Expect to meet or reconnect with people that share your beliefs and ideologies. Venus in fire makes a great trine to Mars in Aries, which goes retrograde on the 9th. My advice to you? Take things slow and make sure to watch your tongue and not to rush things, especially since your card for the month is Page of Swords Reversed. Mars in Aries wants us to go full speed ahead, but Saturn is telling him to slow down and redo things. Any topics relating to July or early August might pop back up for you, so think wisely and learn from any mistakes. The New Moon in Virgo on the 17th will have you once again revisiting the topic of you. It is a time to shed parts of yourself as a way to rebuild for the next phase. With the Sun moving into air sign Libra on the 22nd, you begin to dive into a challenging October, filled with good learning experiences and opportunities. Saturn finally goes direct on the 29th, you can just feel the shift with this transit, as the planet of restriction and lessons gets ready to cross over to your ascendant.
Pisces
An exciting month for you with the Two of Cups Reversed, a promising new beginning, especially with the Sun in Virgo highlighting your relationships and potential partnerships. This month will manage to pull some strong emotions out of you beginning with the Full Moon in your sign on the 2nd. You are ready, you have learned, and this is the next phase for your growth. Pisces have stepped up their game and are ready for that next phase. 2020 has strengthened you, and you feel that cycle involving the old you is shedding and this stronger version emerging. On the 6th, Venus enters Leo, motivating you to switch up your routines and to fuel your ambitions. You know what you want and are not afraid to get it. The Mars retrograde on the 9th serves as a reminder to take it easy and do not be impulsive when it comes to spending. You are working hard for your money now, so do be more methodical about what you use it on and make sure it isn’t on meaningless things. The New Moon in Virgo on the 17th brings the focus back to relationships, as you make the choice to claim your independence and to honor yourself. Your heart will be ready for the self-love before you fall in love.