thinkingmomsrevolution--2020-01-07--My Alternative Medicine Kit

My Alternative Medicine Kit

The other day one of my younger mom friends sparked this blog by asking me what I would advise her to keep around as kind of an alternative first aid kit .
After sharing a fairly long list of things that I find critical , we decided it would probably be a useful kind of list to share here .
I will tell you some of what we use these things for , but as always , standard disclaimers about medical advice and speaking to your provider apply .
Also , getting proper training in administering the various interventions is @ @ @ @ @ @ @ categories of use .
Arnica is my go-to for trauma .
When my son was learning how to walk , he fell face first into one of those wrought-iron magazine stands .
In the time that it took me to run upstairs for the ice pack and get back downstairs , he sprouted a golf ball-sized goose egg at the edge of his eye socket .
I was able to apply arnica ointment to all but the very inside part of the goose egg .
The next day the swelling was gone entirely @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I was unable to get the gel due to proximity of his eyeball .
I keep arnica in the forms of gel/cream and homeopathic pellets in 30C and 200C .
Calendula is one of the best herbs for treating minor skin stuff – burns , abrasions , eczema ( sometimes ) .
I keep it around in both cream and dried-flower forms .
It ’ s one of the ingredients in my own personal chapstick recipe , and in a pinch I could make a strong tea and poultice using it .
Tea @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
It ’ s basically the woo-person ’ s hydrogen peroxide .
It can also dry pimples .
Lavender Essential Oil is very soothing for minor skin irritations .
I like to put it in the bath with a good quantity of almond oil .
Aloe Plants are essential for burns .
You simply cut a leaf off and squeeze the gel out .
It ’ s amazing .
It ’ s perfectly happy being grown in a pot in a window .
Comfrey Plants require a yard because comfrey roots pretty deep @ @ @ @ @ @ @ yard because it ’ s basically human spackle .
You can pack a clean wound with a comfrey-leaf or -root tea poultice ( you make a strong tea , soak a piece of muslin cloth in it , and bind the wound ) .
Comfrey is also one of the ingredients in my aforementioned chapstick .
Unless you are an experienced herbalist , you should not ingest or recommend ingesting comfrey leaves .
Epsom Salts are fantastic in the bath for aches and pains , for mild detoxing , and a little bit @ @ @ @ @ @ @ formerly known as Virastop ) from Enzymedica is one of the few that I will recommend by brand .
My son has been a viral-regression kind of kid , so we like to make sure that we address viruses just as soon as we are aware of what we are dealing with .
The particular combination of enzymes breaks down the outer shell of the virus and allows the immune system ( or other antiviral that you have on board ) to be more effective .
Calcium Lactate for fevers .
If you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you already know this .
Dr. McGowin did a Monday Minute on this protocol in the fall of 2019 .
Turns out the reason a body spikes a fever is that it needs calcium to fully mount an immune response and the easiest way is to get it from the bones .
The fever leaches out the calcium .
So by providing calcium lactate when a fever presents , we give the body what it needs , and it no longer is required to leach from the bones .
I have personally run @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a 102 temperature one day , and it works .
Peppermint Essential Oil is usually my first go-to for plugged-up sinuses , simply to sniff from the bottle .
Peppermint is also analgesic ( can help pain , I like it on my temples for headaches ) and is another method for reducing a fever when applied up the spine , to the big toes , or in the belly button .
It ’ s more of a suppression , whereas calcium lactate is more of a “ the body has what it @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ” Eucaylptus Essential Oil is good when peppermint alone isn ’ t enough to loosen up congestion .
You can dilute eucalyptus into a little bit of almond oil and rub on the chest and big toes .
Oregano Essential Oil is incredibly antipathogenic .
If I see mucus starting to show signs of infection , I will do oregano in the diffuser and on big toes .
Oregano is also tremendously antifungal .
Vitamin C – At the first signs of an impending upper respiratory infection , I do a gram ( @ @ @ @ @ @ @ buffered ) an hour until I start having watery diarrhea ( this is what “ to bowel tolerance ” means ) , and I do that until I no longer feel those signs of illness .
Vitamin D – Also at the first signs of an impending upper respiratory infection , I do what is affectionately referred to as the Vitamin D Hammer .
I ’ ve heard the dosing described several ways , but basically it ’ s a megadose of Vitamin D once a day for three days .
The dosing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you should Google to ensure you are doing what is correct for your weight .
In my house it ’ s 50,000 iu for a 165-pound body .
Elderberries – I keep them around in dried form because I make my own tincture and syrup from scratch .
You can purchase pre-made elderberry syrup ( watch the expiration instructions ) and elderberry throat drops .
There are some really interesting studies popping up that are showing elderberry actually unwinds the flu virus at a cellular level .
Oscillocillium is probably the most well-known @ @ @ @ @ @ @ really does help influenza if you start it really early .
I ’ ve actually had MDs recommend it to me .
I generally give one tube of remedy every four hours the first day then slow down frequency as long as symptoms stay away .
Bone Broth is soothing , healthy , and full of immune-boosting properties .
Everyone should drink a cup a day unless they have histamine sensitivities .
It ’ s pretty rare for a child on the autism spectrum to NOT have some sort of gastrointestinal involvement .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ diarrhea , too much/not enough stomach acid .
Castor Oil ( both capsules and not ) – It ’ s much easier to get down a child in a capsule than not .
Castor oil is not my top-of-the-list laxative because it ’ s so .
.
.
dramatically effective .
That said , oftentimes a nice castor-oil pack on the liver ( or uterus for us perimenopausal mamas ) helps soothe cramping when nothing else will .
Activated Charcoal ( encapsulated ) is one of my go-to remedies for dietary infractions , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ should not administer activated charcoal within at least two ( and some folks say four ) hours of administering medications or supplements because the AC will pull it all right out .
Don ’ t be alarmed that post-AC bowel movements turn black .
Bentonite Clay ( encapsulated ) is activated charcoal light .
This is my go-to for diarrhea .
Same rules as AC for timing around medications , but you won ’ t have black poop .
This is personally my favorite binder .
Magnesium Citrate is my go-to for constipation @ @ @ @ @ @ @ dramatic than Castor oil ( causes way less cramping ) .
I like to dose it at bedtime and plan to stay near the toilet most of the next morning .
Nox Vomica in 30C and 200C doses is homeopathy for over indulging , heartburn , vomiting , etc .
Apis in 30c and 200c for swelling and allergic reaction .
I handed my sister in law the apis from my purse one day when she was given a salad with jalapeño peppers ( to which she is allergic ) .
It stopped @ @ @ @ @ @ @ minutes .
Rescue Remedy – I keep this flower remedy in my purse for when we feel a meltdown starting .
Sometimes Rescue Remedy with a quiet room will stave it off .
Cell Salts – This is a new one for us , but it ’ s a good all-around support for nervous tension , fatigue , headaches , and colds .
Apple Cider Vinegar / Freshly Squeezed Lemon Juice to alkalize the body and help digestion .
Baking Soda to neutralize the body ’ s pH .
You can add ¼ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of warm water .
Colloidal Silver is hands down the best over-the-counter antibiotic available .
I have used it for bladder infections , upper-respiratory infections , skin stuff .
.
.
It ’ s second only to breastmilk for sties and eye sores .
D-Hist is is a robust herbal antihistamine and can be kept on hand for unexpected allergy flares .
A well-rounded , living , probiotic – I debated including this because , in truth , I think we should all be using a well rounded living probiotic every day anyway @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Flourish brands in the last few years , and both are miles beyond the freeze-dried and encapsulated probiotic pills in effectiveness .
I include them in the first-aid kit because they will help restore the gut after antibiotic use and will help repopulate the gut after a bout of stomach bug .
All first-aid kits should include a good assortment of Band-Aids and a package of menstrual pads .
( I will never forget my little brother cutting his legs up pretty good falling off his bike and my mom slapping a pad @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the doctor . )
And , lastly , I wholeheartedly recommend getting a basic homeopathy kit that comes with a materia medica .
For more by JuicyFruit , click here .

January 7, 2020
The other day one of my younger mom friends sparked this blog by asking me what I would advise her to keep around as kind of an alternative first aid kit. After sharing a fairly long list of things that I find critical, we decided it would probably be a useful kind of list to share here.
I will tell you some of what we use these things for, but as always, standard disclaimers about medical advice and speaking to your provider apply. Also, getting proper training in administering the various interventions is critical.
I broke this down into categories of use.
Minor Boo-Boos (abrasions, swelling, soreness, and burns)
Arnica is my go-to for trauma. When my son was learning how to walk, he fell face first into one of those wrought-iron magazine stands. In the time that it took me to run upstairs for the ice pack and get back downstairs, he sprouted a golf ball-sized goose egg at the edge of his eye socket. I was able to apply arnica ointment to all but the very inside part of the goose egg. The next day the swelling was gone entirely, and the only bruising was where I was unable to get the gel due to proximity of his eyeball. I keep arnica in the forms of gel/cream and homeopathic pellets in 30C and 200C.
Calendula is one of the best herbs for treating minor skin stuff – burns, abrasions, eczema (sometimes). I keep it around in both cream and dried-flower forms. It’s one of the ingredients in my own personal chapstick recipe, and in a pinch I could make a strong tea and poultice using it.
Tea Tree Essential Oil is antifungal and antibacterial. It’s basically the woo-person’s hydrogen peroxide. It can also dry pimples.
Lavender Essential Oil is very soothing for minor skin irritations. I like to put it in the bath with a good quantity of almond oil.
Aloe Plants are essential for burns. You simply cut a leaf off and squeeze the gel out. It’s amazing. It’s perfectly happy being grown in a pot in a window.
Comfrey Plants require a yard because comfrey roots pretty deep. I keep comfrey growing in my yard because it’s basically human spackle. You can pack a clean wound with a comfrey-leaf or -root tea poultice (you make a strong tea, soak a piece of muslin cloth in it, and bind the wound). Comfrey is also one of the ingredients in my aforementioned chapstick. Unless you are an experienced herbalist, you should not ingest or recommend ingesting comfrey leaves.
Epsom Salts are fantastic in the bath for aches and pains, for mild detoxing, and a little bit of magnesium absorption.
Cruds (viruses, internal infections)
Enzyme Defense (formerly known as Virastop) from Enzymedica is one of the few that I will recommend by brand. My son has been a viral-regression kind of kid, so we like to make sure that we address viruses just as soon as we are aware of what we are dealing with. The particular combination of enzymes breaks down the outer shell of the virus and allows the immune system (or other antiviral that you have on board) to be more effective.
Calcium Lactate for fevers. If you follow Covenant Integrative Wellness on Facebook, you already know this. Dr. McGowin did a Monday Minute on this protocol in the fall of 2019. Turns out the reason a body spikes a fever is that it needs calcium to fully mount an immune response and the easiest way is to get it from the bones. The fever leaches out the calcium. So by providing calcium lactate when a fever presents, we give the body what it needs, and it no longer is required to leach from the bones. I have personally run the fever protocol when my son spiked a 102 temperature one day, and it works.
Peppermint Essential Oil is usually my first go-to for plugged-up sinuses, simply to sniff from the bottle. Peppermint is also analgesic (can help pain, I like it on my temples for headaches) and is another method for reducing a fever when applied up the spine, to the big toes, or in the belly button. It’s more of a suppression, whereas calcium lactate is more of a “the body has what it needs so it can reduce the fever.”
Eucaylptus Essential Oil is good when peppermint alone isn’t enough to loosen up congestion. You can dilute eucalyptus into a little bit of almond oil and rub on the chest and big toes.
Oregano Essential Oil is incredibly antipathogenic. If I see mucus starting to show signs of infection, I will do oregano in the diffuser and on big toes. Oregano is also tremendously antifungal.
Vitamin C – At the first signs of an impending upper respiratory infection, I do a gram (1,000 mg) of Vitamin C (buffered) an hour until I start having watery diarrhea (this is what “to bowel tolerance” means), and I do that until I no longer feel those signs of illness.
Vitamin D – Also at the first signs of an impending upper respiratory infection, I do what is affectionately referred to as the Vitamin D Hammer. I’ve heard the dosing described several ways, but basically it’s a megadose of Vitamin D once a day for three days. The dosing is based on body weight, and you should Google to ensure you are doing what is correct for your weight. In my house it’s 50,000 iu for a 165-pound body.
Elderberries – I keep them around in dried form because I make my own tincture and syrup from scratch. You can purchase pre-made elderberry syrup (watch the expiration instructions) and elderberry throat drops. There are some really interesting studies popping up that are showing elderberry actually unwinds the flu virus at a cellular level.
Oscillocillium is probably the most well-known of the homeopathic pellet treatments because it really does help influenza if you start it really early. I’ve actually had MDs recommend it to me. I generally give one tube of remedy every four hours the first day then slow down frequency as long as symptoms stay away.
Bone Broth is soothing, healthy, and full of immune-boosting properties. Everyone should drink a cup a day unless they have histamine sensitivities.
Tummy Issues
It’s pretty rare for a child on the autism spectrum to NOT have some sort of gastrointestinal involvement. It could be anything – constipation, diarrhea, too much/not enough stomach acid.
Castor Oil (both capsules and not) – It’s much easier to get down a child in a capsule than not. Castor oil is not my top-of-the-list laxative because it’s so . . . dramatically effective. That said, oftentimes a nice castor-oil pack on the liver (or uterus for us perimenopausal mamas) helps soothe cramping when nothing else will.
Activated Charcoal (encapsulated) is one of my go-to remedies for dietary infractions, as it pulls everything out. You should not administer activated charcoal within at least two (and some folks say four) hours of administering medications or supplements because the AC will pull it all right out. Don’t be alarmed that post-AC bowel movements turn black.
Bentonite Clay (encapsulated) is activated charcoal light. This is my go-to for diarrhea. Same rules as AC for timing around medications, but you won’t have black poop. This is personally my favorite binder.
Magnesium Citrate is my go-to for constipation. Its much less . . . dramatic than Castor oil (causes way less cramping). I like to dose it at bedtime and plan to stay near the toilet most of the next morning.
Nox Vomica in 30C and 200C doses is homeopathy for over indulging, heartburn, vomiting, etc.
Miscellaneous Multitaskers
Apis in 30c and 200c for swelling and allergic reaction. I handed my sister in law the apis from my purse one day when she was given a salad with jalapeño peppers (to which she is allergic). It stopped the throat itch and swelling sensation in minutes.
Rescue Remedy – I keep this flower remedy in my purse for when we feel a meltdown starting. Sometimes Rescue Remedy with a quiet room will stave it off.
Cell Salts – This is a new one for us, but it’s a good all-around support for nervous tension, fatigue, headaches, and colds.
Apple Cider Vinegar / Freshly Squeezed Lemon Juice to alkalize the body and help digestion.
Baking Soda to neutralize the body’s pH. You can add ¼ tsp of baking soda to eight ounces of warm water.
Colloidal Silver is hands down the best over-the-counter antibiotic available. I have used it for bladder infections, upper-respiratory infections, skin stuff . . . It’s second only to breastmilk for sties and eye sores.
D-Hist is is a robust herbal antihistamine and can be kept on hand for unexpected allergy flares.
A well-rounded, living, probiotic – I debated including this because, in truth, I think we should all be using a well rounded living probiotic every day anyway. I have used both Liovi and Flourish brands in the last few years, and both are miles beyond the freeze-dried and encapsulated probiotic pills in effectiveness. I include them in the first-aid kit because they will help restore the gut after antibiotic use and will help repopulate the gut after a bout of stomach bug.
All first-aid kits should include a good assortment of Band-Aids and a package of menstrual pads. (I will never forget my little brother cutting his legs up pretty good falling off his bike and my mom slapping a pad on it until they could get to the doctor.)
And, lastly, I wholeheartedly recommend getting a basic homeopathy kit that comes with a materia medica.
~ JuicyFruit
For more by JuicyFruit, click here.
Photo credit arnica: Enrico Blasutto at Italian Wikipedia [CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)]
Photo credit calendula: Kmtextor [CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)]


Protect the Vulnerable?

I will admit that every day of this triggers A lot of emotions .
It ’ s hard to hear how everyone should be “ in it together , ” or that we have to “ protect the vulnerable , ” with nobody comprehending that this is the same thing that we have said for decades now .
We have asked for studies into why our children suffered , begged for studies on susceptible/vulnerable populations , screamed about the importance of accurate data so we know how many are being harmed , cried about how our children mattered and weren @ @ @ @ @ @ @ numbers of those harmed for the greater good .
It ’ s hard to hear the voices of those discussing asymptomatic carriers , shedding , underlying health conditions , comorbid and co-occurring illness , natural immunity , vitamin D , isolation , homeschooling , rashes , Kawasaki disease , cytokine storms , wrong predictions , inaccurate numbers , no access to tests , and no access to medical care , when those have been our very concerns for many years .
It ’ s hard to breathe when you hear the same people @ @ @ @ @ @ @ as crazy , now being the ones who are asking where is the CDC , why did the WHO ’ s plan crumble , why is Gates in charge of health policy , and how safe is it to skip parts of trials , and demanding the science on treatments .
Now they want accurate labeling/counting of deaths and illness , and to know who is in the vulnerable or at-risk populations .
It ’ s okay now to discuss whether or not they want the government to make their health care decisions @ @ @ @ @ @ @ s influence and ability to create a narrative .
All of a sudden safety and efficacy matter , and everyone is wondering why politics are playing such a huge role in science .
Those same people can now understand that there is a need for courageous people to speak out when things aren ’ t right , and that sometimes the experts are absolutely wrong , or lie , or are just plain clueless .
Now they can ask for a plan going forth so we don ’ t continue to harm others @ @ @ @ @ @ @ size doesn ’ t fit all in medicine , predictions , outcomes , treatments , and prevention .
And it ’ s devastating to see people attack one another , knowing this is just the tip of the iceberg .
For my community , experience tells us that the hate is just starting .
It ’ s a lot .
When you realize how nobody cared about your child being harmed , nobody has demanded answers , science is asleep , medicine won ’ t treat them , and the corruption is so @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ever changes , it ’ s tough to sleep at night .
When you realize people are arguing over face masks because they are so concerned about others , and yet they threw a fit about bring special foods to school to accommodate an allergy kiddo , it ’ s infuriating .
When you see them post about how worrisome it is because they or their loved one may get sick , while you have already been living that nightmare every day for decades and nobody cared , it definitely elicits some resentment @ @ @ @ @ @ @ are out of school and teachers are exhausted trying to find new ways to teach , it ’ s a world we are all too familiar with .
Try adding abuse rates , seclusion and restraint policies , violations of IDEA , FAPE , 504 , and IEPs , new laws removing medically fragile kids , bullying , and of course the kids that can ’ t even make it in a traditional classroom due to medical or physical needs .
Some of us may be a little triggered when we have to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ have to endure this for a couple months .
And yes , we understand the stress of losing your job or career , and the worry over how to pay the bills .
What we don ’ t understand is why nobody cared when it happened to our families and certainly not in all the years since .
For almost two decades , I have been called every name in the book , and the most accurate of all those names currently is probably angry .
And while I don ’ t live @ @ @ @ @ @ @ make it hard to avoid completely .
What was done to our children isn ’ t fair or right , and they are the ones who paid and continue to pay the price .
But the one word no one ever mentions is sad .
Above all , I am sad for our kids .
They didn ’ t sign up for this life .
They weren ’ t born to be sacrificed .
They should have been loved on and cared for , instead of tossed aside and ridiculed for taking one @ @ @ @ @ @ @ what it ’ s like to have friends and not live a life of isolation .
They should have answers to their health problems and medical care , so they can be healthy and happy .
They should be welcomed into their schools and communities .
They should know when something like a new virus happens what their own risk is , and have doctors who know enough about their bodies that they can navigate what this means .
They should have politicians fighting to make sure they will have jobs or housing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that they matter .
And I am sad that , during all this crazy , nobody has even bothered to ask how they are doing .
For more by Crush , click here .

May 18, 2020
I will admit that every day of this triggers A lot of emotions.
It’s hard to hear how everyone should be “in it together,” or that we have to “protect the vulnerable,” with nobody comprehending that this is the same thing that we have said for decades now.
We have asked for studies into why our children suffered, begged for studies on susceptible/vulnerable populations, screamed about the importance of accurate data so we know how many are being harmed, cried about how our children mattered and weren’t just some statistic or acceptable numbers of those harmed for the greater good.
It’s hard to hear the voices of those discussing asymptomatic carriers, shedding, underlying health conditions, comorbid and co-occurring illness, natural immunity, vitamin D, isolation, homeschooling, rashes, Kawasaki disease, cytokine storms, wrong predictions, inaccurate numbers, no access to tests, and no access to medical care, when those have been our very concerns for many years.
It’s hard to breathe when you hear the same people who have done everything to paint you as crazy, now being the ones who are asking where is the CDC, why did the WHO’s plan crumble, why is Gates in charge of health policy, and how safe is it to skip parts of trials, and demanding the science on treatments. Now they want accurate labeling/counting of deaths and illness, and to know who is in the vulnerable or at-risk populations. It’s okay now to discuss whether or not they want the government to make their health care decisions, and to question the media’s influence and ability to create a narrative.
All of a sudden safety and efficacy matter, and everyone is wondering why politics are playing such a huge role in science. Those same people can now understand that there is a need for courageous people to speak out when things aren’t right, and that sometimes the experts are absolutely wrong, or lie, or are just plain clueless. Now they can ask for a plan going forth so we don’t continue to harm others. They can now understand that one size doesn’t fit all in medicine, predictions, outcomes, treatments, and prevention.
And it’s devastating to see people attack one another, knowing this is just the tip of the iceberg. For my community, experience tells us that the hate is just starting.
It’s a lot. When you realize how nobody cared about your child being harmed, nobody has demanded answers, science is asleep, medicine won’t treat them, and the corruption is so rampant you will probably die before anything ever changes, it’s tough to sleep at night.
When you realize people are arguing over face masks because they are so concerned about others, and yet they threw a fit about bringing special foods to school to accommodate an allergy kiddo, it’s infuriating.
When you see them post about how worrisome it is because they or their loved one may get sick, while you have already been living that nightmare every day for decades and nobody cared, it definitely elicits some resentment.
And while it sucks that kids are out of school and teachers are exhausted trying to find new ways to teach, it’s a world we are all too familiar with. Try adding abuse rates, seclusion and restraint policies, violations of IDEA, FAPE, 504, and IEPs, new laws removing medically fragile kids, bullying, and of course the kids that can’t even make it in a traditional classroom due to medical or physical needs. Some of us may be a little triggered when we have to hear about how awful it is to have to endure this for a couple months.
And yes, we understand the stress of losing your job or career, and the worry over how to pay the bills. What we don’t understand is why nobody cared when it happened to our families and certainly not in all the years since.
For almost two decades, I have been called every name in the book, and the most accurate of all those names currently is probably angry. And while I don’t live in that space, times like this make it hard to avoid completely. What was done to our children isn’t fair or right, and they are the ones who paid and continue to pay the price.
But the one word no one ever mentions is sad. Above all, I am sad for our kids. They didn’t sign up for this life. They weren’t born to be sacrificed. They should have been loved on and cared for, instead of tossed aside and ridiculed for taking one for the team. They should know what it’s like to have friends and not live a life of isolation. They should have answers to their health problems and medical care, so they can be healthy and happy. They should be welcomed into their schools and communities. They should know when something like a new virus happens what their own risk is, and have doctors who know enough about their bodies that they can navigate what this means. They should have politicians fighting to make sure they will have jobs or housing or medical care. They should know that they matter.
And I am sad that, during all this crazy, nobody has even bothered to ask how they are doing.
~ Crush
For more by Crush, click here.


thinkingmomsrevolution--2020-05-20--Caregiver Reciprocity: How Can We Work Together to Craft Better Lives?

I ’ ve talked about and written about the concept of caregiver fatigue over the years .
It ’ s a thing .
I know that I ’ ve hit that point more than once .
I ’ ve talked about how hard this special-needs parenting journey is , and how I have no idea how people do it without help .
And many people do it without help because the special-needs divorce rate is significant .
While I was writing this blog , I crowd sourced my special-needs parent peers on Facebook as to what the statement caregiver fatigue @ @ @ @ @ @ @ s so much more than being the only income and trying to make ends meet , or worrying about if your kid is out late .
These are some of the responses : “ Neverending .
Groundhog Day , the movie .
No respite , no break , no end of the tunnel .
Random glimpses of joy mixed with the monotony of the everyday.
” “ Bone tired , neverending responsibility with no end in sight .
No respite.
” “ The realization that I will always be thinking , doing , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ kid ’ s name ] .
“ I ’ m in charge .
If I say ‘ Meh , I ’ m done , ’ there ’ s no one else to do it.
” “ Same shit every day .
Dreading things like feeding and diaper changes , knowing every meal will likely include a meltdown that traumatizes everyone.
” “ I ’ ve had a toddler for eight years and counting.
” Having felt all of those over the last few years at one time or another , I ’ m @ @ @ @ @ @ @ year my village has solidified beautifully and we really do have help now .
I can ( and , in fact , did this weekend ) just drop Dominic off and know that he ’ s taken care of and loved on and safe , and that who he is with would step in front of a car for him .
And while I ’ ve had people tell me that they will do it , and we ’ ve certainly had people step up during emergencies , this is the first time @ @ @ @ @ @ @ so I can shop without him ( I don ’ t like taking him into stores during the pandemic drama , because he can not manage masking or keeping hands to himself ) .
Last fall a course that Mallory McClelland , an autism mom and intuitive friend of mine , offered called “ Caregiver to Caregetter ” came across my feed and I signed up for the 12-month commitment .
The class concept was about caregiver fatigue and special needs-moms learning how to step out of the hyperfocus we have .
Because @ @ @ @ @ @ @ included group work , a Facebook group , and monthly private sessions with Mallory .
Almost from the get-go , things became remarkably chaotic in my private life , and I didn ’ t manage to attend a single one of the group sessions .
I went ahead and pulled out of the program a few months ago , leaving the last couple of private sessions in the “ bank ” so to speak for when I needed them .
I used them last week for a pretty profound session .
As part @ @ @ @ @ @ @ caregiver reciprocity came out of my mouth – I ’ ve never heard the statement and it resonates so beautifully .
I literally said “ I don ’ t want someone to take care of me during the hard things of life ; I want someone to take care of the hard things of life with me.
” Mallory stopped me because it was such a profound statement .
Special-needs parenting is hard .
Special-needs parenting in the middle of the end of the world is ridiculous .
Special-needs parenting during the end @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you can not have your village to help you is impossible .
We don ’ t need—or want—to be rescued and set aside and fed bonbons .
We need to be with people who see when we are exhausted and step in to help , shoulder to shoulder .
Discussion questions ( I ’ d love to host a discussion on this in comments here or on Facebook ) : What do you think of the idea of Caregiver Reciprocity ?
Do you have anyone in your life who will shift into caregiving @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of relationship look like ?
What does your village look like right now ?
What do you want your village to look like going forward ?
For more by JuicyFruit , click here .

May 20, 2020
I’ve talked about and written about the concept of caregiver fatigue over the years. It’s a thing.
I know that I’ve hit that point more than once. I’ve talked about how hard this special-needs parenting journey is, and how I have no idea how people do it without help. And many people do it without help because the special-needs divorce rate is significant.
While I was writing this blog, I crowd sourced my special-needs parent peers on Facebook as to what the statement caregiver fatigue means to them, because it’s so much more than being the only income and trying to make ends meet, or worrying about if your kid is out late. These are some of the responses:
“Neverending. Groundhog Day, the movie. No respite, no break, no end of the tunnel. Random glimpses of joy mixed with the monotony of the everyday.” “Bone tired, neverending responsibility with no end in sight. No respite.” “The realization that I will always be thinking, doing, and creating a safe space for [kid’s name]. “I’m in charge. If I say ‘Meh, I’m done,’ there’s no one else to do it.” “Same shit every day. Dreading things like feeding and diaper changes, knowing every meal will likely include a meltdown that traumatizes everyone.” “I’ve had a toddler for eight years and counting.” “Resentment towards my child / partner.”
Having felt all of those over the last few years at one time or another, I’m so very grateful to share that this year my village has solidified beautifully and we really do have help now. I can (and, in fact, did this weekend) just drop Dominic off and know that he’s taken care of and loved on and safe, and that who he is with would step in front of a car for him. And while I’ve had people tell me that they will do it, and we’ve certainly had people step up during emergencies, this is the first time I’ve just dropped Dominic off so I can shop without him (I don’t like taking him into stores during the pandemic drama, because he cannot manage masking or keeping hands to himself).
Last fall a course that Mallory McClelland, an autism mom and intuitive friend of mine, offered called “Caregiver to Caregetter” came across my feed and I signed up for the 12-month commitment. The class concept was about caregiver fatigue and special needs-moms learning how to step out of the hyperfocus we have. Because we are really tired. The course included group work, a Facebook group, and monthly private sessions with Mallory. Almost from the get-go, things became remarkably chaotic in my private life, and I didn’t manage to attend a single one of the group sessions. I went ahead and pulled out of the program a few months ago, leaving the last couple of private sessions in the “bank” so to speak for when I needed them. I used them last week for a pretty profound session.
As part of that session, the concept of caregiver reciprocity came out of my mouth – I’ve never heard the statement and it resonates so beautifully. I literally said “I don’t want someone to take care of me during the hard things of life; I want someone to take care of the hard things of life with me.”
Mallory stopped me because it was such a profound statement.
Special-needs parenting is hard. Special-needs parenting in the middle of the end of the world is ridiculous. Special-needs parenting during the end of the world when the government says you cannot have your village to help you is impossible. We don’t need—or want—to be rescued and set aside and fed bonbons. We need to be with people who see when we are exhausted and step in to help, shoulder to shoulder.
Discussion questions (I’d love to host a discussion on this in comments here or on Facebook):
What do you think of the idea of Caregiver Reciprocity?
Do you have anyone in your life who will shift into caregiving with you?
What would that kind of relationship look like?
What does your village look like right now?
What do you want your village to look like going forward?
~ JuicyFruit
For more by JuicyFruit, click here.


thinkingmomsrevolution--2020-06-29--To Mask or Not to Mask: Declaring a Truce

This is a call for a truce between the maskers and the anti-maskers .
It is super stressful these days , and the bullying tactics ( “ Wear your damn mask !
” ) , the virtue signaling , and the shaming are not likely to bring people to your side .
For the anti-maskers , getting mad at 16-year-olds at restaurants just doing their jobs is not going to get you anywhere .
Everyone is angry , but everyone is also doing the best they can with the info they see .
Legitimate CDC , WHO , and national @ @ @ @ @ @ @ good or bad ) had been saying not to wear a face mask unless you are sick or caring for someone who is sick , so the anger against those who are not in favor of universal masking seems excessive to me .
There is literally legit science on both sides , and both sides give good arguments .
The pro-mask folks share their science and say , if masks prevent big droplets from leaving your face or if there is a slightly decreased risk of spread , then it is worth it @ @ @ @ @ @ @ reason to wear a mask .
The maskers want to do it out of respect even if it doesn ’ t work .
Well , that is generous .
I ’ m not sure it ’ s a reason to chastise the anti-maskers since that is so subjective , but it ’ s super sweet .
Anti-maskers have good scientific evidence that it doesn ’ t work , as well .
They typically believe in social distancing , but not always .
They often are spiritually oriented people who don ’ t live @ @ @ @ @ @ @ spaces , and they just want to be left alone .
That doesn ’ t mean that all maskers live in fear or that you can ’ t wear a mask and be spiritual person who is not living in fear .
Most anti-maskers I know will wear their mask in the presence of high-risk people or situations out of respect and safety , but their idea of high-risk doesn ’ t include just breathing the air in your car or being alone in a park , like some maskers .
There seems @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the two groups .
There are idiots out there on both sides , like the masked lady who spat in a baby ’ s face , believing the child and its mother were too close , and unmasked sick people coughing all over the place .
I ’ m not talking about idiots we have no control over .
There have been heated discussions in doctors ’ groups about this , meaning that not all doctors are in agreement .
I have shared an article from an anesthesiologist who does not support widespread @ @ @ @ @ @ @ doctors posting similar articles .
I think they are smart .
I think the doctors who are pro-mask are smart , too .
I see in doctors ’ groups that most of us don ’ t really understand how masks work .
Doctors are still learning this , so why do you expect the average public to know ?
There seems to be growing evidence for wearing face masks and the idea that we could open up sooner if we all wore face masks .
Maybe there will be a full consensus soon @ @ @ @ @ @ @ should .
But there is still room for debate in my opinion , so let ’ s keep it respectful .
This issue is just one of many in this country that has fallen victim to the polarization that leads to everyone digging in their heels .
As usual , one side thinks they have the right to tell others what to do and that anything they say that disagrees is anti-science , or anti-people , or ignorant .
Again , none of the name-calling will win them over .
The other side @ @ @ @ @ @ @ don ’ t have to do what you say.
” They will say they have science , too , backed by the WHO .
Our government has a history of corruption , and there are worrisome patterns noticed by many in this group that are based on fact , so they have good reason to question things .
The other side sees this as “ conspiracy theory , ” but simply calling it conspiracy theory can be a lazy way of shutting down the conversation .
And maybe there is a conspiracy ; @ @ @ @ @ @ @ before when large sums of money and power were at stake .
Being belligerent or condescending won ’ t win points on either side .
I have my mask and will wear it in appropriate settings ( and more now , with the mandates , in settings that may or may not make sense to me ) , and I am taking all kinds of measures in my clinic–including super-expensive filters with UV lights to kill viruses .
But ultimately , the social distancing measures seem most important in my reading , and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
I think it is important we avoid contact with people who are high-risk , and I think high-risk people have a responsibility to protect themselves .
I know people who have lost loved ones to coronavirus .
I know doctors who are traumatized by their experiences dealing with the scary levels of coronavirus , and they naturally seem to be pro-mask .
I know many doctors who are against universal masking .
I know people who were raped and forcibly held down ; masks bring it all back , and they don @ @ @ @ @ @ @ kid in the grocery store why they can ’ t handle a face mask .
I know people with lung conditions who can not breathe with anything over their mouths .
And I know people with lung conditions who do just fine with a face mask .
If you see someone unmasked and you are a masker , just stay away from the unmasked person .
It is quite frankly none of your business why they can ’ t or choose to not wear a mask .
If you are an anti-masker , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ them and their need to protect themselves .
It can all be this simple .
Again , we can ’ t control people who are reckless and uneducated .
I stay away from them .
For more by Dr. Benton , click here .

June 29, 2020
Like today’s guest blogger, Dr. Cammy Benton, we at TMR have noticed an increasingly hostile face off between those who deeply believe that face masks are a universal good and those who don’t. We don’t feel the hostility on either side of the issue is warranted or helpful. Let’s fact it, we can’t get to a better society, one that’s capable of pulling together to survive disasters, if we are screaming at each other.
This is a call for a truce between the maskers and the anti-maskers.
It is super stressful these days, and the bullying tactics (“Wear your damn mask!”), the virtue signaling, and the shaming are not likely to bring people to your side. For the anti-maskers, getting mad at 16-year-olds at restaurants just doing their jobs is not going to get you anywhere.
Everyone is angry, but everyone is also doing the best they can with the info they see. Legitimate CDC, WHO, and national leaders ( whether you believe they are good or bad) had been saying not to wear a face mask unless you are sick or caring for someone who is sick, so the anger against those who are not in favor of universal masking seems excessive to me.
There is literally legit science on both sides, and both sides give good arguments. The pro-mask folks share their science and say, if masks prevent big droplets from leaving your face or if there is a slightly decreased risk of spread, then it is worth it. Great! That is a good reason to wear a mask. The maskers want to do it out of respect even if it doesn’t work. Well, that is generous. I’m not sure it’s a reason to chastise the anti-maskers since that is so subjective, but it’s super sweet.
Anti-maskers have good scientific evidence that it doesn’t work, as well. They typically believe in social distancing, but not always. They often are spiritually oriented people who don’t live in fear but will respect others’ spaces, and they just want to be left alone.
That doesn’t mean that all maskers live in fear or that you can’t wear a mask and be spiritual person who is not living in fear. Most anti-maskers I know will wear their mask in the presence of high-risk people or situations out of respect and safety, but their idea of high-risk doesn’t include just breathing the air in your car or being alone in a park, like some maskers. There seems to be a spectrum of concern between the two groups.
There are idiots out there on both sides, like the masked lady who spat in a baby’s face, believing the child and its mother were too close, and unmasked sick people coughing all over the place. I’m not talking about idiots we have no control over.
There have been heated discussions in doctors’ groups about this, meaning that not all doctors are in agreement. I have shared an article from an anesthesiologist who does not support widespread masking, but there are many other doctors posting similar articles. I think they are smart. I think the doctors who are pro-mask are smart, too. I see in doctors’ groups that most of us don’t really understand how masks work. Doctors are still learning this, so why do you expect the average public to know?
There seems to be growing evidence for wearing face masks and the idea that we could open up sooner if we all wore face masks. Maybe there will be a full consensus soon, and everyone will agree that we should. But there is still room for debate in my opinion, so let’s keep it respectful.
This issue is just one of many in this country that has fallen victim to the polarization that leads to everyone digging in their heels. As usual, one side thinks they have the right to tell others what to do and that anything they say that disagrees is anti-science, or anti-people, or ignorant. Again, none of the name-calling will win them over. The other side says, “Screw you, I don’t have to do what you say.” They will say they have science, too, backed by the WHO. Our government has a history of corruption, and there are worrisome patterns noticed by many in this group that are based on fact, so they have good reason to question things.
The other side sees this as “conspiracy theory,” but simply calling it conspiracy theory can be a lazy way of shutting down the conversation. And maybe there is a conspiracy; after all, it’s happened before when large sums of money and power were at stake.
Being belligerent or condescending won’t win points on either side.
I have my mask and will wear it in appropriate settings (and more now, with the mandates, in settings that may or may not make sense to me), and I am taking all kinds of measures in my clinic–including super-expensive filters with UV lights to kill viruses. But ultimately, the social distancing measures seem most important in my reading, and certain types of masks in certain situations.
I think it is important we avoid contact with people who are high-risk, and I think high-risk people have a responsibility to protect themselves.
I know people who have lost loved ones to coronavirus. I know doctors who are traumatized by their experiences dealing with the scary levels of coronavirus, and they naturally seem to be pro-mask.
I know many doctors who are against universal masking.
I know people who were raped and forcibly held down; masks bring it all back, and they don’t want to explain to the kid in the grocery store why they can’t handle a face mask.
I know people with lung conditions who cannot breathe with anything over their mouths. And I know people with lung conditions who do just fine with a face mask.
If you see someone unmasked and you are a masker, just stay away from the unmasked person. It is quite frankly none of your business why they can’t or choose to not wear a mask. If you are an anti-masker, stay away from the masker to respect them and their need to protect themselves.
It can all be this simple.
Again, we can’t control people who are reckless and uneducated. I stay away from them.
~ Dr. Cammy Benton
For more by Dr. Benton, click here.


thinkingmomsrevolution--2020-09-14--Autism and Aggression: Why Loving Parents Sometimes Need to Call 911

You ’ ve probably seen the story floating around in your newsfeed about the 13-year-old boy with autism who , in the midst of a mental health crisis , was shot as he ran away by the police who had been called in to help .
My post today isn ’ t about the actual incident ( which is ridiculous ) but rather comments I ’ ve been reading from people about “ Why would the mother call 911 ?
” Even people in the autism community are perplexed as to why a parent would call 911 on their own @ @ @ @ @ @ @ young .
Today ’ s comment : Why call 911 when nothing illegal was happening ?
You call 911 when you need help and intervention .
You call 911 when your safety is at risk .
You call 911 as a last resort .
The fact that people don ’ t get how violent autism/PANS/PANDAS can be for some kids , firstly , pisses me the fuck off .
Because I know many of us parents have been screaming about this for years .
The kids get aggressive and violent not because they @ @ @ @ @ @ @ such a state of dysregulation and their brains are so inflamed that they have no other tools to deal .
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is great if you have functional communication and , you know , “ regular ” cognitive abilities and time .
For the nonverbal kid with autism going thru puberty it ’ s not an option .
So you learn to manage as best you can—tweaking the diet , adding in supplements , trying some prescriptions if your current doctor is willing to prescribe , learning how to manage the violence @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it and keeps everyone safe .
And then you don ’ t talk about it because you are isolated and ashamed and tired .
I ’ ve shared before about my son Spencer ’ s struggles with PANS and aggression .
It started with the start of puberty .
Testosterone is the kerosene to everything that is already on fire in the body .
We pleaded with his primary care doctor to prescribe some things that might help .
We asked for an appointment at the end of the day because we weren @ @ @ @ @ @ @ could handle waiting in the waiting room with other people .
They said we should try to make an appointment with a psychiatrist then .
We were literally in a crisis situation in that moment asking for help , and they told us to get a psychiatrist ( for a kid who couldn ’ t communicate with another person ) .
At that point my options were : continue to deal with it ourselves or call 911 which would likely lead to inpatient admittance .
Failed once again by a medical system that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ provide service to me but does anything but .
And for those who do not know , PANS/PANDAS happens very quickly .
You can go from having the most docile and compliant kid to having a raging and destructive maniac the next .
There is no warning .
That ’ s pretty much the definition of crisis .
Many kids are connected to different therapies like behavioral therapy , speech therapy , occupational therapy and school-based services .
They are discharged from such therapies if they are aggressive .
So even with those @ @ @ @ @ @ @ unwilling or unable to help when things start to go sideways .
And for the kids on the moderate to significantly affected spectrum , a lot of psych units won ’ t even admit because they can ’ t “ participate ” in therapies .
So they are sedated at the ER until they calm down and discharged back home .
To close the loop for you , Spencer is in a great place now .
Intensive treatment for Lyme , discovering he also has hemochromatosis and managing that , continuing with clean @ @ @ @ @ @ @ world , building better brain connections thru Dr. Amy Spoelstra ’ s FOCUS program , etc .
When you live your life as a parent in such a state of stress and hypervigilance , your body and your brain break .
You just can ’ t anymore .
And sometimes there ’ s a perfect storm of everyone being broken at the same time .
So someone calls 911 to deal with the person who needs extra assistance to remain safe .
But in this case that person got shot by the people @ @ @ @ @ @ @ much in our systems of care and support can be reworked and made so much better .
And we can do this without defunding one entity to create another .
Instead of asking “ Why did the mom call 911 ?
, ” which is mom-shaming BTW , your question should be “ Why are there no other options for that family ?
” Amy Yardley and her partner Dr. Amy Spoelstra have teamed up to help parents of children with autism , ADHD , sensory processing disorders , learning disabilities , and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ are your virtual GPS to help you navigate the complicated and overwhelming world of neuro-behavioral challenges .
They provide a roadmap of foundational strategies , including nutrition education , brain –body movements , and stress reduction action steps that you can do in your home TODAY to help your child .
For more by Raven , click here .

You’ve probably seen the story floating around in your newsfeed about the 13-year-old boy with autism who, in the midst of a mental health crisis, was shot as he ran away by the police who had been called in to help.
My post today isn’t about the actual incident (which is ridiculous) but rather comments I’ve been reading from people about “Why would the mother call 911?”
Even people in the autism community are perplexed as to why a parent would call 911 on their own child, particularly one who is relatively young. Today’s comment: Why call 911 when nothing illegal was happening?
You call 911 when you need help and intervention.
You call 911 when your safety is at risk.
You call 911 as a last resort.
The fact that people don’t get how violent autism/PANS/PANDAS can be for some kids, firstly, pisses me the fuck off. Because I know many of us parents have been screaming about this for years. The kids get aggressive and violent not because they want to but because they are in such a state of dysregulation and their brains are so inflamed that they have no other tools to deal.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is great if you have functional communication and, you know, “regular” cognitive abilities and time. For the nonverbal kid with autism going thru puberty it’s not an option.
So you learn to manage as best you can—tweaking the diet, adding in supplements, trying some prescriptions if your current doctor is willing to prescribe, learning how to manage the violence and aggression in a way that contains it and keeps everyone safe. And then you don’t talk about it because you are isolated and ashamed and tired.
I’ve shared before about my son Spencer’s struggles with PANS and aggression. It started with the start of puberty. Testosterone is the kerosene to everything that is already on fire in the body. We pleaded with his primary care doctor to prescribe some things that might help. We asked for an appointment at the end of the day because we weren’t sure how Spencer would or could handle waiting in the waiting room with other people. They said we should try to make an appointment with a psychiatrist then. We were literally in a crisis situation in that moment asking for help, and they told us to get a psychiatrist (for a kid who couldn’t communicate with another person).
At that point my options were: continue to deal with it ourselves or call 911 which would likely lead to inpatient admittance. Failed once again by a medical system that is paid huge amounts of money to provide service to me but does anything but.
And for those who do not know, PANS/PANDAS happens very quickly. You can go from having the most docile and compliant kid to having a raging and destructive maniac the next. There is no warning. That’s pretty much the definition of crisis.
Many kids are connected to different therapies like behavioral therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy and school-based services. They are discharged from such therapies if they are aggressive. So even with those specific avenues of assistance, they are unwilling or unable to help when things start to go sideways.
And for the kids on the moderate to significantly affected spectrum, a lot of psych units won’t even admit because they can’t “participate” in therapies. So they are sedated at the ER until they calm down and discharged back home.
To close the loop for you, Spencer is in a great place now. Intensive treatment for Lyme, discovering he also has hemochromatosis and managing that, continuing with clean diet, lowering the complexity of his world, building better brain connections thru Dr. Amy Spoelstra’s FOCUS program, etc.
When you live your life as a parent in such a state of stress and hypervigilance, your body and your brain break. You just can’t anymore. And sometimes there’s a perfect storm of everyone being broken at the same time. So someone calls 911 to deal with the person who needs extra assistance to remain safe. But in this case that person got shot by the people who were called to help.
So much in our systems of care and support can be reworked and made so much better. And we can do this without defunding one entity to create another.
Instead of asking “Why did the mom call 911?,” which is mom-shaming BTW, your question should be “Why are there no other options for that family?”
~ Raven
Amy Yardley and her partner Dr. Amy Spoelstra have teamed up to help parents of children with autism, ADHD, sensory processing disorders, learning disabilities, and behavioral challenges Navigate Your Healing. They are your virtual GPS to help you navigate the complicated and overwhelming world of neuro-behavioral challenges. They provide a roadmap of foundational strategies, including nutrition education, brain –body movements, and stress reduction action steps that you can do in your home TODAY to help your child.
For more by Raven, click here.
Raven image courtesy of Victor Habbick at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.


thinkingmomsrevolution--2020-09-17--Towards a New Conversation

Towards a New Conversation

When I was studying architecture in the 1980s , the treatises and manifestos of famous architects were required reading .
One of the most popular was a collection of essays called Towards a New Architecture , written by French architect Le Corbusier in the 1930s .
Corbu , as we called him , was one of the pioneering Modernists , urging architects to move beyond established cultural norms in their designs .
“ Architecture , ” Corbu said , “ is stifled by custom .
It is the only profession in which progress is not considered necessary.
” Despite facing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ years , the global Health Freedom movement has grown in numbers and public awareness .
The foundational approach to our conversations about vaccines and vaccine safety , however , has remained largely unchanged .
If the movement is to continue gaining traction , that conversation needs to expand not only in volume but in depth of heart and breadth of patience .
As a state senator told me , we can not expect to continue saying the same things in the same way but with louder , angrier voices and expect positive results @ @ @ @ @ @ @ new conversation .
We know that public discourse about vaccines is not easy .
Presently , it has two major components ; arguments about science and deeply personal accounts of vaccines gone wrong .
The science discussions tend to devolve quickly into feuding facts and dueling data , while parents ’ heart-wrenching stories of their children ’ s injuries are simply dismissed out of hand as hysterical mothers trying in vain to find something to blame for their child ’ s injury .
At a recent legislative hearing in Colorado , there was @ @ @ @ @ @ @ vaccine proponent viciously told a packed committee room that vaccine injuries might be “ emotionally real but they are not scientifically real.
” During the summer of 2019 , a three-day Vaccine and Health Choice Summit was held at the Colorado State Capitol .
Throughout the 15 hours of professional , information-rich presentations and conversation , not one Democratic legislator even managed to poke their head in the room to see what was happening .
Not one .
Numerous efforts have been made at local , state , and national levels to have @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the vaccine proponents consistently refuse to engage .
Having productive conversations in this hostile climate is clearly a huge challenge .
And yet , it is imperative that those who are interested in expanding the conversation explore creative and effective ways to do so .
There is a concept about the development of wisdom known as the DIKW hierarchy in which data inevitably leads to information , then to knowledge , and ultimately to wisdom .
It is a widely accepted and interesting notion that , like so many 19th– and 20th-century social @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in a linear universe with known variables .
However , that is not where we live—the universe holds more unknowns than we could possibly imagine and moves with a complexity we are just beginning to comprehend .
David Weinberger , in his February 2 , 2010 article in Harvard Business Review refutes the idea that knowledge derives from filtering information : It doesn ’ t .
We can learn some facts by combing through databases .
We can see some true correlations by running sophisticated algorithms over massive amounts of information .
All @ @ @ @ @ @ @ is not a result merely of filtering or algorithms .
It results from a far more complex process that is social , goal-driven , contextual , and culturally-bound .
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Where the decisions are tough and knowledge is hard to come by , knowledge is not determined by information , for it is the knowing process that first decides which information is relevant , and how it is to be used .
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The image that knowledge ( much less wisdom ) results from applying finer-grained filters at each @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Knowledge is more creative , messier , harder won , and far more discontinuous .
If mere information could shift the tide , the movie VAXXED : From Cover-Up to Catastrophe would have changed the world .
If flawless , accurate data could change hearts and minds , any random 30 pages of Mark Blaxill and Dan Olmsted ’ s Denial ( Skyhorse ; July 25 , 2017 ) or J .
B. Handley ’ s How to End the Autism Epidemic ( Chelsea Green Publishing ; September 19 , 2018 ) would @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
And if there were any true cultural interest in learning from the unvarnished history of disease and the medical industry , Dr. Suzanne Humphries and Roman Bystrianyk ’ s book , Dissolving Illusions ( CreateSpace Publishing ; July 27 , 2013 ) would have radically altered the course of the global vaccine paradigm .
But these and many other brilliant books are thrown onto the official pyre of “ misinformation ” and tragically ignored .
So , we end up with one side ’ s demands for “ peer-reviewed studies ” fighting @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for “ double-blind placebo testing.
” While vaccine supporters decry the “ anti-science ” attitudes of the vaccine hesitant , those who question vaccines push back against the veracity of safety studies funded by the very corporations that manufacture the products in question .
And so it goes .
Both sides sparring .
Both sides throwing punches , counter punches , and blocks .
Both sides trying desperately to win the fight , but never really making progress in terms of gaining a deeper understanding of each other or expanding our wisdom about @ @ @ @ @ @ @ demand they are “ right.
” And both sides retreat to fearful , dark corners where those with whom they disagree are perceived as the “ other ” and labeled as evil enemies .
This is the easy and time-honored path that history shows leads to failure and additional conflict more often than to any satisfying resolution .
But the ideas and ideals of medical freedom are too important to stay caught in this seemingly inexorable web .
Advocates for honest cultural cost/benefit analyses of vaccines have the challenge of contradicting the deeply @ @ @ @ @ @ @ financed narrative that “ [ all ] vaccines are [ completely ] safe and effective.
” If efforts to bring the conversation from information to true wisdom are to be successful , the conversation needs to not merely be reframed but to be entirely restructured .
The message needs a seismic shift away from even the perception of “ angry mothers complaining about their children ’ s injuries ” to one of intelligent , well-informed citizens patiently offering their experiential knowledge for careful consideration .
Of course , mothers are justifiably angry .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ parents of vaccine-injured children bear are unimaginable to any of us with healthy children .
These parents followed the rules .
They respected the white men in the white coats .
They obediently held their babies while nurses injected those chubby thighs with products that caused irreparable harm .
Then they are branded as delusional and left not only with the devastation of injured or dead children but also with no legal recourse for any semblance of fair financial compensation .
And yet , while justifiable anger can be an effective spark , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Clarity of purpose , message , and intent are the fuel , oxygen , and heat required .
To be clear , I am not , in any way , calling for containment of the conversation .
It must burn bright and fierce .
But , to reach new terrain with meaningful dialogue , the conversation must become more akin to Tai Chi than to the present bludgery .
We must be willing to let go of any need to “ be right ” or “ prove our point.
” A friend @ @ @ @ @ @ @ posted : We will never all think or feel or live alike , and finding a way to navigate this existence our own way while simultaneously allowing others to do so as well is critical .
We have tough decisions to make as members of communities and nations and the world as a whole .
It would behoove us to remember at each juncture what it feels like when our rights are trampled and when we are disenfranchised .
This feeling is why I ’ ve sought out people very different from myself @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I fundamentally disagree with many of my friends on many issues , but I understand why they hold those positions and take those actions .
However , I see more and more people suffering and thinking if only their issues were at the forefront , if only their people had control .
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It ’ s not that easy .
The goal is to divide and conquer , so I choose to resist that .
On all sides .
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I enjoy hearing opposing views .
It ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ all need to work towards harmony as the elite continue to divide us .
If we try , we all have the ability to understand others ’ viewpoints , even while respectfully disagreeing .
The easy way out is to jump to petty insults and offensive labels .
The serious work involves deep listening , empathy , and a willingness to suspend judgment .
Perhaps , if we encourage deeper inquiry rather than soaking people in a deluge from our fire hose of facts and data , the conversation could truly ignite .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ ( dare I say ? )
Democratic politicians , who may not support our positions but who may be vaguely cognizant of some tiny crack in their dogma , who may hold one small doubt about the value of vaccines or the validity of vaccine mandates .
Our being in constant attack mode does not give them a chance to process , to come to terms with , whatever it is they are experiencing .
The natural response when under attack is to resist and shut down .
This conversation is too important @ @ @ @ @ @ @ movement too important not to progress .
Perhaps if we engage in a new conversation in a new way , those with whom we disagree might be willing to interact in an impactful discussion .
If we take the first step out of the fight-or-flight mode , maybe we can create a space where wisdom can enter .
If others feel respected , perhaps they will respect .
If they feel heard , perhaps they will listen .
Phil Silberman is a medical freedom advocate living in Denver , Colorado .
Image by @ @ @ @

September 17, 2020
When I was studying architecture in the 1980s, the treatises and manifestos of famous architects were required reading. One of the most popular was a collection of essays called Towards a New Architecture, written by French architect Le Corbusier in the 1930s. Corbu, as we called him, was one of the pioneering Modernists, urging architects to move beyond established cultural norms in their designs. “Architecture,” Corbu said, “is stifled by custom. It is the only profession in which progress is not considered necessary.”
Despite facing continuous opposition over the past twenty some years, the global Health Freedom movement has grown in numbers and public awareness. The foundational approach to our conversations about vaccines and vaccine safety, however, has remained largely unchanged. If the movement is to continue gaining traction, that conversation needs to expand not only in volume but in depth of heart and breadth of patience. As a state senator told me, we cannot expect to continue saying the same things in the same way but with louder, angrier voices and expect positive results. We need to grow towards a new conversation.
We know that public discourse about vaccines is not easy. Presently, it has two major components; arguments about science and deeply personal accounts of vaccines gone wrong. The science discussions tend to devolve quickly into feuding facts and dueling data, while parents’ heart-wrenching stories of their children’s injuries are simply dismissed out of hand as hysterical mothers trying in vain to find something to blame for their child’s injury. At a recent legislative hearing in Colorado, there was an audible, collective gasp when a vaccine proponent viciously told a packed committee room that vaccine injuries might be “emotionally real but they are not scientifically real.” During the summer of 2019, a three-day Vaccine and Health Choice Summit was held at the Colorado State Capitol. Throughout the 15 hours of professional, information-rich presentations and conversation, not one Democratic legislator even managed to poke their head in the room to see what was happening. Not one. Numerous efforts have been made at local, state, and national levels to have public debates on the subject, but the vaccine proponents consistently refuse to engage. Having productive conversations in this hostile climate is clearly a huge challenge. And yet, it is imperative that those who are interested in expanding the conversation explore creative and effective ways to do so.
There is a concept about the development of wisdom known as the DIKW hierarchy in which data inevitably leads to information, then to knowledge, and ultimately to wisdom. It is a widely accepted and interesting notion that, like so many 19th– and 20th-century social and scientific concepts, might make sense in a linear universe with known variables. However, that is not where we live—the universe holds more unknowns than we could possibly imagine and moves with a complexity we are just beginning to comprehend. David Weinberger, in his February 2, 2010 article in Harvard Business Review refutes the idea that knowledge derives from filtering information:
It doesn’t. We can learn some facts by combing through databases. We can see some true correlations by running sophisticated algorithms over massive amounts of information. All that’s good. But knowledge is not a result merely of filtering or algorithms. It results from a far more complex process that is social, goal-driven, contextual, and culturally-bound. . . . Where the decisions are tough and knowledge is hard to come by, knowledge is not determined by information, for it is the knowing process that first decides which information is relevant, and how it is to be used. . . . The image that knowledge (much less wisdom) results from applying finer-grained filters at each level, paints the wrong picture. Knowledge is more creative, messier, harder won, and far more discontinuous.
If mere information could shift the tide, the movie VAXXED: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe would have changed the world. If flawless, accurate data could change hearts and minds, any random 30 pages of Mark Blaxill and Dan Olmsted’s Denial (Skyhorse; July 25, 2017) or J. B. Handley’s How to End the Autism Epidemic (Chelsea Green Publishing; September 19, 2018) would immediately clarify the issue for any reader. And if there were any true cultural interest in learning from the unvarnished history of disease and the medical industry, Dr. Suzanne Humphries and Roman Bystrianyk’s book, Dissolving Illusions (CreateSpace Publishing; July 27, 2013) would have radically altered the course of the global vaccine paradigm. But these and many other brilliant books are thrown onto the official pyre of “misinformation” and tragically ignored.
So, we end up with one side’s demands for “peer-reviewed studies” fighting with the other side’s calls for “double-blind placebo testing.” While vaccine supporters decry the “anti-science” attitudes of the vaccine hesitant, those who question vaccines push back against the veracity of safety studies funded by the very corporations that manufacture the products in question. And so it goes. Both sides sparring. Both sides throwing punches, counter punches, and blocks. Both sides trying desperately to win the fight, but never really making progress in terms of gaining a deeper understanding of each other or expanding our wisdom about the issue at hand. Both sides demand they are “right.” And both sides retreat to fearful, dark corners where those with whom they disagree are perceived as the “other” and labeled as evil enemies.
This is the easy and time-honored path that history shows leads to failure and additional conflict more often than to any satisfying resolution. But the ideas and ideals of medical freedom are too important to stay caught in this seemingly inexorable web. Advocates for honest cultural cost/benefit analyses of vaccines have the challenge of contradicting the deeply held, carefully crafted, and well financed narrative that “[all] vaccines are [completely] safe and effective.” If efforts to bring the conversation from information to true wisdom are to be successful, the conversation needs to not merely be reframed but to be entirely restructured. The message needs a seismic shift away from even the perception of “angry mothers complaining about their children’s injuries” to one of intelligent, well-informed citizens patiently offering their experiential knowledge for careful consideration.
Of course, mothers are justifiably angry. The rage and deep accompanying guilt that parents of vaccine-injured children bear are unimaginable to any of us with healthy children. These parents followed the rules. They respected the white men in the white coats. They obediently held their babies while nurses injected those chubby thighs with products that caused irreparable harm. Then they are branded as delusional and left not only with the devastation of injured or dead children but also with no legal recourse for any semblance of fair financial compensation.
And yet, while justifiable anger can be an effective spark, it will not sustain a potent conflagration. Clarity of purpose, message, and intent are the fuel, oxygen, and heat required.
To be clear, I am not, in any way, calling for containment of the conversation. It must burn bright and fierce. But, to reach new terrain with meaningful dialogue, the conversation must become more akin to Tai Chi than to the present bludgery. We must be willing to let go of any need to “be right” or “prove our point.” A friend of mine, Donna Kazee, recently posted:
We will never all think or feel or live alike, and finding a way to navigate this existence our own way while simultaneously allowing others to do so as well is critical. We have tough decisions to make as members of communities and nations and the world as a whole. It would behoove us to remember at each juncture what it feels like when our rights are trampled and when we are disenfranchised. This feeling is why I’ve sought out people very different from myself to interact with and learn from. I fundamentally disagree with many of my friends on many issues, but I understand why they hold those positions and take those actions. However, I see more and more people suffering and thinking if only their issues were at the forefront, if only their people had control. . . . It’s not that easy. The goal is to divide and conquer, so I choose to resist that. On all sides. . . . I enjoy hearing opposing views. It’s how our conscious capacities expand. We all need to work towards harmony as the elite continue to divide us.
If we try, we all have the ability to understand others’ viewpoints, even while respectfully disagreeing. The easy way out is to jump to petty insults and offensive labels. The serious work involves deep listening, empathy, and a willingness to suspend judgment. Perhaps, if we encourage deeper inquiry rather than soaking people in a deluge from our fire hose of facts and data, the conversation could truly ignite. There just might be folks, even (dare I say?) Democratic politicians, who may not support our positions but who may be vaguely cognizant of some tiny crack in their dogma, who may hold one small doubt about the value of vaccines or the validity of vaccine mandates. Our being in constant attack mode does not give them a chance to process, to come to terms with, whatever it is they are experiencing. The natural response when under attack is to resist and shut down.
This conversation is too important to be stifled by custom, the movement too important not to progress. Perhaps if we engage in a new conversation in a new way, those with whom we disagree might be willing to interact in an impactful discussion. If we take the first step out of the fight-or-flight mode, maybe we can create a space where wisdom can enter.
If others feel respected, perhaps they will respect. If they feel heard, perhaps they will listen.
~ Phil Silberman
Phil Silberman is a medical freedom advocate living in Denver, Colorado.
Image by ArtTower from Pixabay.


thinkingmomsrevolution--2020-09-25--On Playing Special-Needs Parenting Chess

Parenting children with special needs or complex medical needs can be like a chess game .
As I put on makeup , preparing to take my son to a new doctor , I remember so many times when I put on clothes and makeup I wouldn ’ t usually wear .
That I wouldn ’ t have to wear if I had typical kids .
To go to the doctor .
To go to the IEP meeting with a new team at school .
Dress like you can afford the most expensive special needs attorney in town , and know @ @ @ @ @ @ @ drop it .
Not that you could afford them , but they don ’ t know that .
A frumpy , stained T-shirted mom is easier to dismiss .
Easier to disrespect .
Shouldn ’ t be , but that ’ s the truth .
That ’ s how it is .
Armoring up to go to the doctor .
Blow out my hair .
Knowing what I want for my now adult , now 18-year old , but having to dance around it , make the doctor think it is their idea @ @ @ @ @ @ @ he tells me he wants to go in by himself today which sends a whole layer of panic through my system .
If they push for an HPV vaccine today , for my boy who has no cervix , so help me God .
No means no .
I ’ ve prepped him to ask for what he wants himself , have given him the steps .
Prepped him on saying no to what he doesn ’ t want .
Coached him on holding his ground .
PTSD is what it is .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Hair spray .
Serious .
Don ’ t fuck with me .
And at the same time , friendly .
I could write a list a mile long of how we , in my family , including my son , have been harmed and mistreated by doctors and medical staff .
And I ’ m a nurse .
Doesn ’ t matter .
I don ’ t play chess .
Never learned .
But I bet I ’ d be pretty good at it if I tried .
This breath in .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
I ’ ll be in the waiting room .

September 25, 2020
Parenting children with special needs or complex medical needs can be like a chess game.
As I put on makeup, preparing to take my son to a new doctor, I remember so many times when I put on clothes and makeup I wouldn’t usually wear. That I wouldn’t have to wear if I had typical kids. To go to the doctor. To go to the IEP meeting with a new team at school. Dress like you can afford the most expensive special needs attorney in town, and know their name in case you have to drop it. Not that you could afford them, but they don’t know that.
A frumpy, stained T-shirted mom is easier to dismiss. Easier to disrespect. Shouldn’t be, but that’s the truth. That’s how it is.
Armoring up to go to the doctor. Blow out my hair. Knowing what I want for my now adult, now 18-year old, but having to dance around it, make the doctor think it is their idea.
After my hair is done, he tells me he wants to go in by himself today which sends a whole layer of panic through my system. If they push for an HPV vaccine today, for my boy who has no cervix, so help me God. No means no.
I’ve prepped him to ask for what he wants himself, have given him the steps. Prepped him on saying no to what he doesn’t want. Coached him on holding his ground.
PTSD is what it is. PTSD, dressed up, with mascara. Hair spray. Serious. Don’t fuck with me. And at the same time, friendly.
FRIENDLY! We’re pals!
It’s quite a dance.
I could write a list a mile long of how we, in my family, including my son, have been harmed and mistreated by doctors and medical staff. And I’m a nurse. Doesn’t matter.
I don’t play chess. Never learned. But I bet I’d be pretty good at it if I tried.
This breath in.
This breath out.
Off we go.
I’ll be in the waiting room.
~Nurse Effie


thinkingmomsrevolution--2020-10-01--Autumn’s Challenge: Struggling with Transitions

We are struggling here with transitions at the moment .
I have always found the transition from summer to autumn has a melancholic edge .
I think this is exacerbated by being in education–it always coincides with the end of a long summer holiday and the return to the daily grind .
The transition from winter to spring feels joyful and like a “ breaking open ” ; the transition from spring to summer holds the promise of longer days , stretched out evenings and more liberty than you are used to .
The transition to autumn , whilst beautiful @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a beginning .
My son Finn is also struggling with transitions .
The constant to-and-fro from school to home is proving to be very difficult for him to manage .
School is highly structured ; he has someone 24/7 to be “ his person ” and to help and support him .
Routines are adhered to and life is predictable .
At home life is fluid .
We don ’ t want to have a schedule on a Saturday ; we don ’ t want a NOW and NEXT picture card to precede @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Finn awoke at the unholy hour of 3 a.m. this morning .
And to cut a long story short , he kept most of us awake all night .
We took it in turns and did shifts but I don ’ t think any of us really slept .
He was noisy and very dysregulated .
He was struggling with his impulse control : putting his hands in the goulash in the oven , climbing , shouting , complete and utter inability to sit still for any length of time .
By @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it felt like we had been awake for several days .
I was trying to get Finn to let his goulash cool down ( he kept burning his mouth and lips ) when I snapped , And he replied , clear as a bell , Cue stunned silence as we all looked at each other around the table like , did you just hear that ?
Not just one word , but three !
In a row !
There was his voice !
Spoken aloud .
My daughter Elsa said , “ Why @ @ @ @ @ @ @ all the time ?
” I tried to explain to Elsa that inside our brains we have neurological pathways and that , for most of us , those pathways–say between thought and mouth and tongue–are clear and straight , like motorways or the Autobahn .
We think something and the message is sent , fast as lightning , and delivered and processed and acted on .
I speak , therefore I am .
But in Finn ’ s case his motorway has several hundred A roads and B roads dissecting the main thoroughfare @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and crossroads and roadworks and poor signage .
The thought is there and the intention , but most of the time it is not delivered , or able to be acted on .
And even when it does arrive , and is occasionally acted on appropriately , it is likely to have taken so long to get there that by the time he does his nervous system is likely to be stressed , frayed , and more than slightly frazzled by the crappy journey .
Today was one of the rare moments when @ @ @ @ @ @ @ arrow straight down that motorway to hit the target .
Sweet !
I asked Finn what his take on it was : The goulash was cold by this point , and we were all in various states of tears .
Strangely it was me that didn ’ t have any words .
Gav does the drive to take Finn back on a Sunday .
Elsa and I have got into the habit of a sunset swim in the sea on a Sunday evening , and this evening I found myself contemplating the shitty @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for the last time this year .
I lay on my back , the top of my head completely numbed by the cold water , and looked straight up at the blue sky and clouds tinged with pink at the edges , and enjoyed the sensation of being cut adrift from everyone : my children , my husband , everyone .
I was the only person out there .
Yet , if I lay there , and made no effort to steer myself at all .
I found that the current , the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , in the direction of my daughter , who was shivering inside her mustard towel , and standing at the edge of the water anxiously looking out at me .
I wish I could have found the words to explain to Finn that this is what parenthood is .
Wanting to be away , wanting to be separate , but always coming back .
Our internal compass pulling us towards them , wherever they are .
I would have liked to explain that this is what love is–the always coming back , and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ really belong was with him .
Karren is a teacher in the U.K. and mum to two kids , Finn , 12 , and Elsa , 9 .
Finn was diagnosed with autism aged 3 and autism has pretty much dominated their lives ever since .
Finn is nonverbal but has learnt to communicate using a letterboard through a method known as RPM ( Rapid Prompting Method ) .
He painstakingly points to each individual letter and spells out his thoughts , feelings , ideas , preferences , hopes and dreams .

October 1, 2020
Let’s talk transitions.
We are struggling here with transitions at the moment.
I have always found the transition from summer to autumn has a melancholic edge. I think this is exacerbated by being in education–it always coincides with the end of a long summer holiday and the return to the daily grind.
The transition from winter to spring feels joyful and like a “breaking open”; the transition from spring to summer holds the promise of longer days, stretched out evenings and more liberty than you are used to. The transition to autumn, whilst beautiful, feels like an ending rather than a beginning.
My son Finn is also struggling with transitions. The constant to-and-fro from school to home is proving to be very difficult for him to manage. School is highly structured; he has someone 24/7 to be “his person” and to help and support him. Routines are adhered to and life is predictable.
At home life is fluid. We don’t want to have a schedule on a Saturday; we don’t want a NOW and NEXT picture card to precede and punctuate every moment of our existence.
Finn awoke at the unholy hour of 3 a.m. this morning. And to cut a long story short, he kept most of us awake all night. We took it in turns and did shifts but I don’t think any of us really slept. He was noisy and very dysregulated. He was struggling with his impulse control: putting his hands in the goulash in the oven, climbing, shouting, complete and utter inability to sit still for any length of time.
By the time we got to lunch, it felt like we had been awake for several days. I was trying to get Finn to let his goulash cool down (he kept burning his mouth and lips) when I snapped,
“Finn! You’ve got to wait.”
And he replied, clear as a bell,
“Won’t cool down.”
Cue stunned silence as we all looked at each other around the table like, did you just hear that? Not just one word, but three! In a row! There was his voice! Spoken aloud.
My daughter Elsa said, “Why can’t he just do that all the time?”
I tried to explain to Elsa that inside our brains we have neurological pathways and that, for most of us, those pathways–say between thought and mouth and tongue–are clear and straight, like motorways or the Autobahn. We think something and the message is sent, fast as lightning, and delivered and processed and acted on. I speak, therefore I am.
But in Finn’s case his motorway has several hundred A roads and B roads dissecting the main thoroughfare. There are service stations and roundabouts and crossroads and roadworks and poor signage. The thought is there and the intention, but most of the time it is not delivered, or able to be acted on. And even when it does arrive, and is occasionally acted on appropriately, it is likely to have taken so long to get there that by the time he does his nervous system is likely to be stressed, frayed, and more than slightly frazzled by the crappy journey.
Today was one of the rare moments when that message was sent swift as an arrow straight down that motorway to hit the target. Sweet!
I asked Finn what his take on it was:
TALKING IS SO FUCKING HARD FOR ME. AUTISM ASKS TOO MUCH OF ME AND MY FAMILY. TAKE ME BACK TO SCHOOL. YOU ARE A FANTASTIC FAMILY AND AUTISM HAS RUINED YOUR LIFE. TAKE ME BACK TO SCHOOL AND TELL SUSAN [Finn’s social worker] TO KEEP ME THERE.
The goulash was cold by this point, and we were all in various states of tears.
Strangely it was me that didn’t have any words.
Gav does the drive to take Finn back on a Sunday. Elsa and I have got into the habit of a sunset swim in the sea on a Sunday evening, and this evening I found myself contemplating the shitty Sunday we had had whilst swimming probably for the last time this year.
I lay on my back, the top of my head completely numbed by the cold water, and looked straight up at the blue sky and clouds tinged with pink at the edges, and enjoyed the sensation of being cut adrift from everyone: my children, my husband, everyone. I was the only person out there. Yet, if I lay there, and made no effort to steer myself at all. I found that the current, the tide somehow brought me into the beach, in the direction of my daughter, who was shivering inside her mustard towel, and standing at the edge of the water anxiously looking out at me.
I wish I could have found the words to explain to Finn that this is what parenthood is. Wanting to be away, wanting to be separate, but always coming back. Our internal compass pulling us towards them, wherever they are. I would have liked to explain that this is what love is–the always coming back, and that the only place I would ever really belong was with him.
~ Karren Own
Karren is a teacher in the U.K. and mum to two kids, Finn, 12, and Elsa, 9. Finn was diagnosed with autism aged 3 and autism has pretty much dominated their lives ever since. Finn is nonverbal but has learnt to communicate using a letterboard through a method known as RPM (Rapid Prompting Method). He painstakingly points to each individual letter and spells out his thoughts, feelings, ideas, preferences, hopes and dreams.