chicagotribune--2020-11-03--Taco in a Bag and Emerald City Coffee among latest Chicago restaurants closing due to the COVID-19 p

Taco in a Bag and Emerald City Coffee among latest Chicago restaurants closing due to the COVID-19 pandemic’s economic toll. Here’s our running list.

La Sardine , which has been a fixture in the West Loop for nearly 22 years , has closed for good .
“ It ’ s sad , ” said partner and executive chef Oliver Poilevey about closing La Sardine , founded by his parents , along with Le Bouchon in Bucktown .
“ A month , month-and-a-half ago , I thought we were going to make it.
” La Sardine has no outdoor space in which to set up tables , but had eked by with meals-to-go and , eventually , indoor dining with the 25 % capacity limitation @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the unthinkable happened : The air conditioning broke down .
Looking at $ 80,000 in repairs , Poilevey knew he could not risk taking on the cost .
“ There ’ s no way we could pay for that , heading into the fall with no rent abatement , ” Poilevey said .
“ Throwing 80K at something and then having to close — that ’ s not a good plan.
” Le Bouchon remains open for pickup and indoor dining , though space inside is limited .
For the full story , @ @ @ @ @ @

Adam Lukach, Grace Wong, Nick Kindelsperger, Josh Noel

The statewide shutdown of restaurants and bars for on-premise service took effect March 16. Since then, several restaurants and bars have reopened for dining and drinking, as Chicago and the state have rolled out gradual reopening plans. But not all of them have made it.
This article lists bars and restaurants that have been forced to close due to the financial strain of COVID-19 regulations. Note that these closures are strictly finance-related and are not due to illness among any of the business’ staff.
We will update the list, sorted alphabetically, as needed.
NEW CLOSINGS
Lagunitas taproom likely won’t reopen in 2021
Lagunitas Brewing likely won’t reopen its Chicago taproom until at least 2022 due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the brewery’s chief marketing officer said Thursday. The taproom, which opened in 2014, is situated directly above the brewery, in the center of Lagunitas’ South Side building. Lagunitas CMO Paige Guzman said she’d “be surprised” if it reopened this year due to concerns about virus spread. The taproom has been closed since the pandemic took root in the U.S. in March. Lagunitas is among the first Chicago bars or restaurants to acknowledge a 2021 reopening as unlikely. See the full story here.
— Josh Noel
FULL RESTAURANT CLOSINGS LIST
25 Degrees
The downtown restaurant and bar did not mention the pandemic shutdown specifically, but a Facebook post announcing its closure noted that it was “due to our current situation.”
Arlington Cake Box Bakery
Chicagoland residents have been celebrating special occasions with the baking of Arlington Cake Box Bakery for 71 years, but the bakery announced in a Facebook post last week that it closed Sept. 20. “We are so grateful for the level of support you have shown us, not only in these unprecedented last six months, but also in the past 71 years,” read the post. The bakery first opened in 1949 and had been on its third generation as a family business.
Bad Hunter
The dining room at Bad Hunter is reflected in a mirror on the back wall. (Anthony Souffle / Chicago Tribune)
Bad Hunter — known for its vegetable-and-grains-forward menu — and its second-floor event venue, The Herbarium, closed for good because of the COVID-19 pandemic. The West Loop restaurant, which survived a fire and re-opened in 2019, was voted the Chicago restaurant with the best plant-based menu in the Chicago Tribune Readers’ Choice Dining Awards earlier this year. — Grace Wong
Band of Bohemia
Band of Bohemia, which announced in July that it was closing temporarily, first earned a Michelin star in 2016 and had retained it every year since through 2019. (Antonio Perez / Chicago Tribune)
Five-year-old Band of Bohemia, whose pioneering vision of brewing beer and serving creative, ambitious food was ultimately rewarded with a coveted Michelin star, is going out of business after filing for bankruptcy. The Ravenswood brewpub filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy liquidation Oct. 16 in the Northern District of Illinois. According to court records, Band of Bohemia is more than $1 million in debt. But in a statement Oct. 21, Band of Bohemia founders Michael Carroll and Craig Sindelar blamed the economic fallout of the COVID-19 pandemic for the closure. The restaurant has been closed since July, when owners said it would be shuttering temporarily. See the full story here. — Josh Noel
Baobab BBQ
The barbecue spot, which used South African flavors to riff on traditional ‘cue, announced in May on its Facebook page that it would close permanently due to the effects of the shutdown, writing: “When a small business’s revenue is interrupted it is devastating; when it’s a restaurant, earth shattering best describes it.”
Bar Biscay
An array of "pintxos," popular small bites offered at Bar Biscay. (Terrence Antonio James / Chicago Tribune)
Bar Biscay, the restaurant that lit up West Town with coastal-Spain sunshine, has closed, for keeps, after a 2½-year run. Partner Scott Worsham said in a posting on Facebook that, “The time has come to say goodbye to our groovy, Atlantic-coast inspired French-Spanish-Basque funhouse, our Oasis of Joy. He blamed COVID-19 and “factors beyond our control.” See the full story here. — Phil Vettel
Bite Cafe
Noah Sandoval (Oriole, Kumiko/Kikko) will join with friend Bruce Finkelman, managing partner of the 16″ On Center restaurant group (Longman & Eagle, Dusek’s Board & Beer, Revival Food Hall), to create Pizza Friendly Pizza, opening later this summer in the Bite Cafe space. Finkelman said, “Once the quarantine hit, I realized that that type of restaurant wouldn’t be able to exist in the post-COVID culinary scene.” — Phil Vettel
Blackbird
Blackbird restaurant in Chicago on Monday June 29, 2020. (Zbigniew Bzdak / Chicago Tribune)
The highest-profile Chicago restaurant victim of coronavirus to date has been Blackbird, closing for good after more than 22 years as one of the area’s finest restaurants. “We’ve labored long and hard over this decision,” said partner Paul Kahan. “But in an incredibly small, tight dining room — operating at only 25% capacity for who knows how long — and removing the opportunity to do private dining, it becomes incredibly difficult to manage.” — Phil Vettel
Blue Nose Brewery
Small southwest suburban Blue Nose Brewery has closed due to the economic fallout of the coronavirus pandemic. Blue Nose co-founder Jordan Isenberg said he made the decision in late October 2020, after the state ordered suburban Cook County bars and restaurants to close for indoor business for a second time to stem the spread of COVID-19. He kept the decision largely to himself while winding down the business, he said. See the rest of the story here. — Josh Noel
Bonci (Wicker Park)
Three different options at Bonci (Arugula, dried tomatoes and bufala mozzarella) (zucchini, ricotta, lemon zest and black pepper) and (prosciutto and fior di latte mozzarella). (Nick Kindelsperger / Chicago Tribune)
The second Chicago location of the world famous pizzeria was located in Wicker Park, but Eater Chicago reported that Bonci’s director of U.S. operations said consolidating to one location (West Loop) was necessary in light of the pandemic.
Bonfire
The no-frills steakhouse in Homer Glen confirmed via Facebook message that it has closed for good due to the effects of the pandemic shutdown.
Bottled Blonde
Bottled Blonde has closed after years of legal drama. (Phil Velasquez / Chicago Tribune)
Bottled Blonde, the River North bar better known for its legal drama than pizza, closed permanently July 27, due to the coronavirus — but COVID-19 violations are not among the complaints against it. The business “surrendered their business licenses, permanently closing the River North bar after a series of serious nuisance conditions dating back to 2017,” according to a statement from the Department of Business Affairs and Consumer Protection. The bar had not received any citations related to COVID-19, wrote the department spokesperson.
The district manager of Bottled Blonde said, “It’s been an uphill battle since we came into this neighborhood. We had fights with the city, fights with the neighborhood. With the COVID thing, you need revenue to keep up those fights. We can’t stay open and operate at limited capacities.” See the full story here. — Louisa Chu
Boulangerie (Belmont Avenue)
La Boulangerie closed its location at 915 W. Belmont Ave. (Nick Kindelsperger / Chicago Tribune)
The French bakery chain La Boulangerie has closed the Lakeview location on Belmont Avenue. The Logan Square and Ravenswood bakeries remain open, but for pickup and delivery only.
Bridgeport Coffee Co. (Loop)
The Chicago coffee roaster closed its Loop location in June, confirming the shuttering as a result of COVID in a blog post. Its other three in Bridgeport, Hyde Park and the South Loop remain open.
Cactus Bar & Grill
The Cactus Bar at 404 S. Wells St. in Chicago. (Phil Velasquez / Chicago Tribune)
The recent closure of Cactus Bar & Grill leaves the South Loop financial district without a 31-year-old standby. Cactus confirmed the closure with a note on its website, writing that they knew in the middle of August that the bar wouldn’t make it: “With few offices in the Loop occupied, and a challenging situation with our land lord, the crisis’s financial devastation became insurmountable.” The bar was a staple for lunches and drinks in the Loop.
Cafe Marie-Jeanne
The announcement that Cafe Marie-Jeanne will close drew lines outside the Humboldt Park restaurant Friday, Nov. 20, 2020. By Saturday, owners had to close early after running out of food. The wait Sunday was four hours. (Terrence Antonio James / Chicago Tribune)
Cafe Marie-Jeanne (1001 N. California Ave.), co-owned by the husband and wife team of Michael Simmons and Val Szafranski, announced Nov. 19 on Instagram that they would close permanently: “The string has run out for CMJ. We hung in as long as we could and it’s time to let go. Everything must end. WE WILL MISS YOU ALL!” Over the following weekend, fans flocked to the Humboldt Park restaurant known for its French-influenced dishes for one last taste. Lines stretched down the block, and Simmons had to shut down early Nov. 20 because he ran out of food. On that Saturday, the wait in line took four hours. The restaurant closed Nov. 23. See the full story here. — Nick Kindelsperger
Candyality
Candyality is known for its collection of retro candies, among hundreds of other confections.
Andersonville has one less spot to sate your sweet tooth, as Candyality has announced in a Facebook post that it will be closing its location in the neighborhood at the end of September. The closing comes “with great sadness” after spending more than 5 years in that space, the post reads. The Chicago-based candy store — which has also had locations in Wicker Park and Water Tower Place during the past several years — is still open at its Lakeview location, 3737 N. Southport Ave., and offers local delivery.
Cafe Cancale
The strawberry sundae with sea salt ice cream at Cafe Cancale. (Brian Cassella / Chicago Tribune)
The One Off Hospitality property in Wicker Park was another casualty of the pandemic, closing at the same time as Blackbird.
California Clipper and coffee shop C.C. Ferns
Detail of the Vesper at California Clipper in 2017. (Chris Sweda/Chicago Tribune)
Both the Clipper and attached cafe C.C. Ferns shuttered permanently due to the COVID shutdown. However, there have been conflicting accounts between Hogsalt Hospitality owner Brendan Sodikoff and landlord Gino Battaglia as to how the fallout was navigated, according to reports from Eater Chicago and Block Club Chicago, respectively.
Chicago House Of ‘Za
The North Center spot for all-vegan pizza shared an Instagram post announcing its permanent closure, citing the financial effects of the pandemic shutdown as part of the reason: “With the current pandemic, as well as the enormous cost of operating a business in Chicago, we are unable to stay open for business any longer.”
City Mouse
City Mouse restaurant in the Ace Hotel opened in 2017. (Terrence Antonio James/Chicago Tribune)
City Mouse, the Ace Hotel restaurant operated by the team behind Giant and Chef’s Special, is closing after three years. Sunday, Oct. 18, will be the last day, the restaurant announced Wednesday in a statement. Jason Vincent, one of the partners at Giant and Chef’s Special, declined further comment. Giant and Chef’s Special bar announced just Tuesday it was launching a food truck to get their creative cooking to a larger audience. The space is going to be occupied by the Alinea Group, starting in November; owner Nick Kokonas confirmed that Alinea has leased the space for a three-month residency, but offered no additional details. For more details, see the story here. — Phil Vettel
Conga’s
The Norwood Park restaurant, which also featured music and dancing, announced it would be closing on Facebook. The post read, “I’m deeply saddened to announce Congas Restaurant will not be opening again. Covid-19 made me realize the most important things in life.” Another post teased a return for the Congas name, but as more of a venue-esque space.
Danny’s Tavern
After rumors of a closure had persisted on social media for weeks, Danny’s Tavern has confirmed it closed permanently. The Bucktown dive was well-known for its dance floor and its popular party celebrating The Smiths. The closure comes five years after the bar nearly shuttered once before and ends the bar’s 34-year stay on Dickens Avenue.
Davanti Enoteca
Davanti Enoteca in Little Italy.
The Little Italy location of Davanti Enoteca has closed for good, and, according to a report from the Sun-Times, it appears finances were a factor: “A demand letter dated June 12 from the landlord ... said the establishment was nearly $60,000 behind on rent.” The letter was posted on the window of Francesca’s, a sister restaurant also owned by chef David Harris.
Ditka’s in Chicago
Mike Ditka lookalike Don, center, and his wife Marian Feuling eat during a birthday party dinner at Ditka's restaurant in 2019. (Camille Fine / Chicago Tribune)
The economic effects of the mandated shutdown were a contributing factor in the closure of Mike Ditka’s Chicago restaurant in May. Other locations remain open, including Ditka’s in suburban Oakbrook Terrace and Grill 89 in suburban Westmont.
Eden
People settle in for dinner at the restaurant called Eden, 1748 W. Lake St. in Chicago, on Wednesday, March 15, 2017. (Terrence Antonio James / Chicago Tribune)
Eden, a Cal-Mediterranean restaurant popular with pre- and post-event United Center crowd (among others), closed in mid-July after a run of just over 3½ years. Eden opened on west Lake Street in December 2016 and made friends quickly, both for its pretty, bright-white interiors and Devon Quinn’s skillful cooking. The owners said in a release that “While we recently reopened our doors to an immensely positive response, the larger economic impact resulting from the coronavirus pandemic has made it impossible for us to sustain operations.” Read the full story here. — Phil Vettel
Emerald City Coffee Shop (Sheridan)
The Emerald City Coffee Shop location on Sheridan Road closed permanently Oct. 31, according to a post on the cafe’s Instagram page: “The uncertainty of the pandemic and other financial stressors were too much to bear and we’re so, so bummed to see ECC Sheridan go, but it’s the tough choice we had to make.” Emerald City, which was also known for its breakfast burritos, occupied a noticeable space below the Sheridan Red Line stop for years and was a neighborhood favorite. The Emerald City Coffee in Uptown, at 1224 W. Wilson Ave., remains open.
A Go Fund Me campaign launched earlier to save the Sheridan location has been taken down. But a new Go Fund Me has been launched, this one to help laid-off baristas. “The purpose of this fundraiser is to help cushion the blow that our ECC Sheridan staff will experience in the coming days,” the campaign reads. It seeks $5,000 and by the afternoon of Nov. 4 had raised $2,100. — Adam Lukach
Fahlstrom’s Fresh Fish Market
Owner Glenn Fahlstrom confirmed that he would be closing the Lakeview seafood spot in an online post shared on the restaurant’s website and social media pages. The post, in part, read: “The new restaurant model is asking owners to put employees in harm’s way so that their business can possibly survive. That is an ‘acceptable risk’ I cannot take. The restaurant business as I know it is gone and will not return for years. It was hard enough when the playing field was supposedly level, now it is tilted beyond recognition. So, I am closing Fahlstrom’s Fresh Fish Market.”
Fat Rice / Super Fat Rice Mart
At the beginning of the pandemic shutdown, Fat Rice pivoted to become Super Fat Rice Mart, a market for meal kits and various grocery goods. Later, current and former Fat Rice employees went public with allegations of harassment and mistreatment by owner Abe Conlon, and the location has been closed ever since, with no public mention of a reopening date.
Fat Willy’s Rib Shack
Rib tips at Fat Willy's Rib Shack, 2416 W. Schubert Ave. (Michael Tercha / Chicago Tribune)
The North Side is losing another barbecue spot after Fat Willy’s Rib Shack announced Thursday evening that it will close Sept. 27. The Logan Square restaurant has been in the neighborhood for more than 19 years and has a loyal following of diners who go there for baby back ribs, pulled pork, brisket and mac and cheese. See the full story here. — Grace Wong
Finom Coffee
Cream and sugar station at Finom Coffee in the Old Irving Park neighborhood of Chicago. (Louisa Chu / Chicago Tribune)
Finom Coffee — the popular two-year-old cafe in Old Irving Park known for serving Hungarian small plates, along with coffee, tea and baked goods, out of a snazzy art-deco storefront, has closed. Chef Rafa Esparza posted an upbeat message on Instagram: “It was a beautiful moment in time and the whole crew slayed from day one!” See the full story here. — Adam Lukach
Foodlife
The multi-station food concept located in Water Tower Place confirmed its closing in early June, although owner Lettuce Entertain You declined to comment exactly why. — Nick Kindelsperger
Fountainhead
Guests sit on the popular rooftop patio at Fountainhead in Ravenswood in this 2015 photo. (Lenny Gilmore / RedEye)
For the past 10 years, Fountainhead bar and restaurant has occupied the northeast corner of Damen and Montrose, one of Ravenswood’s essential intersections, bringing an enviable selection of whiskey and barrel-aged spirits to the neighborhood. In late September, the restaurant announced in social media posts that its run will come to an end Nov 14. “The past year has been difficult for everyone but pressures facing our industry at this time make it financially impossible to operate past the roof deck season. We made every effort to make adjustments to operate in this ‘new normal’ but with limitations restricting revenue and without funding to offset this condition it is impossible to continue,” read the post. Fountainhead owners are working with building ownership to find the “right concept” for the prominently situated storefront. Rhe Fountainhead Market — located next door — will remain there. — Adam Lukach
Francesca’s On Taylor
As with Taylor Street’s Davanti Enoteca — the two restaurants share ownership — the Italian restaurant in Little Italy has closed permanently, with reports indicating that rent-payment issues were at least partly to blame.
Gino’s East
The Gino’s East restaurant at 500 N. LaSalle St. has closed, a victim of a decline in business downtown, according to Jordan Himmel, chief information officer for Chicago-based Bravo Restaurants (which owns Gino’s East, Ed Debevic’s, Edwardo’s Pizza and Eduardo’s Enoteca.) The location closed in March, but other Chicago locations remain open.
Guthrie’s Tavern
Ron DeNicolo and his wife, Cynthia, take a photograph outside Guthrie's Tavern, 1300 W. Addison St., on July 21 in Chicago. DeNicolo said he and Cynthia had their first date at the bar 10 years ago. (John J. Kim / Chicago Tribune)
Guthrie’s Tavern, one of Chicago’s oldest and most popular neighborhood bars, announced it would be closing permanently, citing the city’s rollback of phase four rules for bars as a primary cause. Guthrie’s has occupied the corner of Addison Street and Lakewood Avenue for 34 years. It closed July 23. See the complete story here. — Adam Lukach
Habana Libre
Per a post on its website, Habana Libre closed permanently “due to the impact of coronavirus.” The Cuban restaurant had been in West Town since 2007.
Hamburger Mary’s
Hamburger Mary's opened on a key corner in Andersonville in 2006. (Michael Tercha / Chicago Tribune)
Andersonville’s Hamburger Mary’s — the only remaining city location of the nationwide network of independent franchises — announced Sunday on Facebook that it would be closing Nov. 1. Ownership listed the building for sale last year, and the lease ends at the end of December, but the coronavirus pandemic expedited the closing process, according to the post. The burger-focused restaurant, an outlet of the San Francisco-based chain, opened on a high-profile in Andersonville in June 2006, featuring drag shows, karaoke and bingo, along with the burgers. The closing announcement also teased ownership interest in reopening at another location: “We feel it’s best to wait until spring before we look for a possible new space.” The restaurant will host regular business hours until its final day of service Nov. 1. — Adam Lukach
Hot “G” Dog
Duck sausage, topped with lobes of foie gras and sea salt flakes, from Hot "G" Dog (5009 N. Clark St.). (Kevin Pang / Chicago Tribune)
Andersonville lost a hot-dog joint — at least the rest of 2020 — from the former Hot Doug’s chef with the closure of Hot “G” Dog. A Facebook post from the restaurant said its owners hope to return eventually, but the COVID shutdown had made business unsustainable for now.
Imperial Lamian
After more than four and a half years of serving rainbow-colored soup dumplings, roast duck and vegan spring rolls, Imperial Lamian is closing its doors in River North. The Chinese restaurant cited pandemic-related challenges as its reason for closing. Imperial Lamian, which opened in the spring of 2016, was lauded by the Chicago Tribune as having the best xiaolongbao (or XLB for short) in the city. Dozens of people expressed how much they would miss the restaurant in the comments section of the social media posts. See the full story here. — Grace Wong
Income Tax
Income Tax brought a much-needed wine bar to Edgewater, furthering the trend of easy-drinking, non-pretentious wine lists. (Phil Velasquez / Chicago Tribune)
Ownership for the laid-back Edgewater wine bar confirmed via email that the pandemic’s effect on Income Tax’s financials led to its closing. It had been open since 2016.
Jeri’s Grill
The diner on Western Avenue was a monument to greasy spoons of yore, open for 57 years and 24 hours a day, and was cut down by COVID-19, reported Block Club Chicago in May. “If there was no COVID, we’d be open,” owner Frank Di Piero told the publication.
Katana
Katana brought its robatayaki-style restaurant to the River North neighborhood in 2017. (Katana)
A spokesperson for the parent company of the River North sushi restaurant wrote in an email: “Yes, the COVID closure was a devastating financial hit for us and the reason behind our closure … The Chicago location was very special to us, and we were sad to close.”
Kiki’s Bistro
Diners raise a toast during a wine dinner at Kiki’s Bistro, 900 N. Franklin St., May 4, 2006. The restaurant announced it would close permanently at the end of September 2020. (Wes Pope / Chicago Tribune)
Earlier this summer, changes to the OpenTable website for Kiki’s Bistro caused some confusion over whether or not the beloved River North spot had closed for good. The restaurant shared a clarification that, for now, it would be open for business. Sadly, however, Kiki’s website changed late last week, indicating that the restaurant will close permanently after the final day of service Sept. 30. “We appreciate the birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions and everyday meals that you spent dining and laughing with us. Those memories have sustained us through the last few months, as your visits did for those many years,” read the post. It wasn’t all bad news, though, mentioning that a small-time operation remains on the radar for Kiki’s founder Georges “Kiki” Cuisance: “Kiki, 87, is attempting retirement with an open eye for a potential petite Kiki’s — a tiny, cozy reboot with the potential to offer authentic French fare you love on a very intimate scale.” See the full story here. — Adam Lukach
Kroll’s South Loop
One of the South Loop’s signature sports bars, Kroll’s South Loop, announced in a Facebook post that it would be closing its doors at the end of the summer. “We fought hard,” read the announcement. “The burden of operating under the current conditions is too great and, come fall, will be impossible to continue under the current indoor capacity restrictions of 50 patrons. … We do not know whether this closure will last until next spring or forever. Only time will tell.” Kroll’s will remain open for dinner service Thursdays through Sundays until it concludes its 15-year run at the end of summer.
La Buona Vita
La Buona Vita, a Northern Italian restaurant in downtown La Grange closed its doors after a six-year run. In a message posted on the restaurant’s now-defunct website, owner Jim Barron named COVID-19 as the proximate cause of his restaurant’s demise. — Phil Vettel
La Fontanella
The owners of the longtime Italian restaurant had already planned to sell the building and restaurant prior to the pandemic, according to Block Club Chicago.
Lawry’s The Prime Rib
Lawry's, known by generations of Chicagoans for its prime rib, steaks and lush steakhouse trappings inside a former mansion, will close after service Dec. 31, 2020. (Abel Uribe / Chicago Tribune)
Lawry’s The Prime Rib, which has been a fixture on Ontario Street (just west of Michigan Avenue) for 46 years, called it quits at the end of 2020. The coronavirus, last summer’s civil unrest and an expiring lease all contributed to the decision, said Ryan Wilson, CEO of Lawry’s Inc. “In a year of incredible turmoil, this is a tough one for sure,” he said. “But with the industry in general in such a state of flux, we felt we had to push the pause button,” he added, leaving room for Lawry’s to reopen. “I think there’s a future for Lawry’s in the Chicago area,” Wilson said. See the full story here. — Phil Vettel
Links Taproom
Links Taproom. (Leigh Loftus / ThinkLeigh Photography)
Michael Quinlan, owner of the Milwaukee Avenue beer bar in Wicker Park, wrote in an email that Links was planning to move out of its storefront at some point in 2020 due to an acrimonious relationship with its landlord. Due the the COVID-19 shutdown, he decided to pull the plug on Links in March. As of late July, Quinlan indicated that ownership is “going to wait until things stabilize until we make our next move.”
Mesa Urbana
The Mexican restaurant will be consolidating operations, closing its Glenview restaurant and moving everything to its location in Portage Park, per a note on its website. The note cited the “situation” from COVID-19 as the impetus for the decision.
Mity Nice Bar & Grill
Along with Foodlife, this Water Tower Place restaurant from Lettuce Entertain You closed in early June. Ownership declined to disclose specific reasons.
Monty Gaels Tavern & Grill
The Irish tavern in Ravenswood closed permanently due to the burden of the pandemic shutdown, ownership confirmed in a Facebook message.
Passerotto
Passerotto in Andersonville in July 2018.
The Andersonville restaurant announced over Labor Day weekend that it would be closing its doors permanently, in part due to the coronavirus pandemic. Passerotto’s last day is Sept. 12. Chef Jennifer Kim said the decision to close was a result of multiple conversations with staff and investors, and ultimately they decided that “operating a restaurant safely in the midst of multiple pandemics was going to negatively affect our community in the long run.” A pop-up project was also teased on the restaurant’s profile. See the full story here. — Grace Wong
Pepper Canister
The casual River North bar announced June 15 via Facebook it would be permanently closing, although it did not specifically reference the costs of shutting down for the pandemic as a reason.
Rainforest Cafe
Rainforest Cafe at the corner of Ohio and Clark Streets in Chicago on Thursday, August, 13, 2020. (Zbigniew Bzdak / Chicago Tribune)
The Rainforest Cafe in the Near North neighborhood has closed sooner than expected after it shut down during the coronavirus pandemic. The restaurant at 605 N. Clark St. was expected to close within two years, when its lease expired. That timeline was accelerated by the coronavirus pandemic, which has left the Chicago restaurant closed since March, said building owner Sean Conlon. He recently negotiated an early termination of the lease with parent company Landry’s Restaurants. He plans to redevelop the site. See the full story here. — Ryan Ori
Ramen Misoya (Streeterville)
Tonkotsu ramen at Ramen Misoya. (Michael Tercha / Chicago Tribune)
The Loop lost one of its best bets for ramen in August with the closing of Ramen Misoya’s storefront in Streeterville. “Due to a loss in business caused by the Covid-19 shutdown, we can no longer justify continuing operations at this time,” read a post on its Facebook page. On the bright side, the Mount Prospect location of Misoya remains open.
Redmond’s Ale House
Remond’s Ale House has closed due to the financial stress of the COVIID-19 restrictions. The Wrigleyville bar, which had been at the corner of Sheffield and Roscoe for years, was known for offering an abundance of drink deals and for being an area staple for game-watching due to plenty of TVs and good sightlines.
Rickshaw Republic
Owners confirmed via email that the state’s COVID-19 shutdown caused financial losses that required the Indonesian restaurant in Lincoln Park to permanently close.
Ronny’s Steakhouse
Ronny’s, a cafeteria-style “steakhouse” that had occupied two separate downtown corners for years, announced plans to close due to the coronavirus in a Facebook announcement over Labor Day weekend. “We won’t say ‘good bye’ but rather ‘until we meet again,’” read the post. The Loop staple began 63 years ago at the corner of State and Randolph and, in recent years, operated at the corner of Clark and Lake.
La Sardine
La Sardine's terrine de foie gras featured layers of creamy foie gras mixed with thinly sliced black truffle, drizzled with a tart and slightly sweet cherry sauce and crowned with slices of extra buttery brioche. (Nick Kindelsperger/Chicago Tribune)
La Sardine, which has been a fixture in the West Loop for nearly 22 years, has closed for good. “It’s sad,” said partner and executive chef Oliver Poilevey about closing La Sardine, founded by his parents, along with Le Bouchon in Bucktown. “A month, month-and-a-half ago, I thought we were going to make it.” La Sardine has no outdoor space in which to set up tables, but had eked by with meals-to-go and, eventually, indoor dining with the 25% capacity limitation. Then the weather turned warm and the unthinkable happened: The air conditioning broke down. Looking at $80,000 in repairs, Poilevey knew he could not risk taking on the cost. “There’s no way we could pay for that, heading into the fall with no rent abatement,” Poilevey said. “Throwing 80K at something and then having to close — that’s not a good plan.” Le Bouchon remains open for pickup and indoor dining, though space inside is limited. For the full story, go here. — Phil Vettel
Siam Rice
Siam Rice, 117 N. Wells St., has called it quits after 18 years. (Alex Garcia / Chicago Tribune)
Siam Rice (117 N. Wells St.) has closed after 18 years in the Loop, according to a note posted on the Thai restaurant’s window. "Unfortunately, we have come to the decision that it is no longer viable to operate our business during these uncertain times,” the note said. “This was a difficult decision for us, however, recent events and current pandemic conditions have left us concerned for the safety of our customers as well as our staff.” The note ends with an apology to customers and the hope that the restaurant will be able to return in the future. The restaurant’s last day Sept. 15.
Simply It
The Vietnamese restaurant, which had been in Lincoln Park for nearly 14 years, closed permanently in April, reported Block Club Chicago. COVID-19 restrictions and unworkable margins gave owner Tuan Nguyen “no choice” but to close, he told Block Club.
People eat and drink as others pass by Southport Lanes in Chicago's Lakeview neighborhood on Sept. 17, 2020. (John J. Kim / Chicago Tribune)
Southport Lanes
Southport Lanes has lasted nearly a century by evolving, at various times serving as a tavern, bowling alley, speak-easy, brothel and illegal off-track horse betting venue. But the Lakeview mainstay, which opened not long after another pandemic, couldn’t survive COVID-19. Read the full story here. — Ryan Ori
Step Down Cafe
The Pilsen coffee shop announced on its Facebook page that it would close permanently due to the effects of the pandemic.
Taco in a Bag
The Big Jim Reeves was a big hit at Taco in a Bag. (Nick Kindelsperger / Chicago Tribune)
Taco in a Bag has closed after five years in Lincoln Square. The shop specialized in playful versions of walking tacos, a dish where components one would normally find on a taco are instead poured into a bag of corn chips. The restaurant announced the closure on Facebook with a surprisingly irreverent, if slightly hopeful video. The owners assured fans that, “we will be back...promise!!!!” Block Club Chicago first reported the closing.
Taqueria Sabor y Sazon
The popular Pilsen taqueria closed permanently in May. The financial difficulties of trying to survive the pandemic’s hospitality restrictions were insurmountable, the owners said.
Tin Fish
The Tin Fish restaurant closed in Tinley Park. (Bob Bong / Daily Southtown)
The coronavirus claimed another high-profile restaurant victim with the permanent closure of Tin Fish, a highly regarded restaurant in south-suburban Tinley Park. A sign on the front door of the seafood restaurant and oyster bar thanked customers “for 18 great years,” and said the decision to close came “with a heavy heart.” “I’m not happy, but it’s something a lot of us are going through,” said partner Curtis Wierbicki, who launched the restaurant in September 2002 with partner Colin Turner. The restaurant closed in July. See the full story here. — Phil Vettel
Tintos & Tapas
Laura Rivera, the owner of the Spanish small plates restaurant, confirmed via email that the closing of Tintos & Tapas was due to the financial strain of the COVID-19 shutdown, as well as its effects on how it operated: “My chef and I cried the last day we were there to clean up,” she wrote. “Carryout is not a model that works for my type of operation at all. Frankly, it is demoralizing to become a fast food.”
Toast Restaurant
Owner Jeanne Roeser confirmed in a Facebook message that she had closed both the Bucktown and Lincoln Park locations of the 24-year-old breakfast favorite: “I couldn’t imagine reopening and surviving with reduced capacity and putting my staff and their families at risk of harm.” Roeser also posted a goodbye note on Facebook, which reads in part: “Nothing lasts forever in this world and it is time to move forward and see what this next phase will bring. I wish you peace and good health, my friends.”
Trattoria No. 10
A goodbye post on the reliable Italian restaurant’s website alluded to the pandemic shutdown as cause for its shuttering, reading, “With no theater and no convention/tourism business for the foreseeable future, there was just no way we could realistically reopen.”
Two Lights Seafood & Oyster
A post on the Old Town restaurant’s Facebook page confirmed that Two Lights has closed, although it did not mention whether or not the shuttering was due to the financial effects of COVID.
U.B. Dogs
U.B. Dogs served classic Chicago hot dog stand fare with serious culinary ambitions. (Nick Kindelsperger / Chicago Tribune)
U.B. Dogs (185 N. Franklin St.), a stellar hot dog joint that served a flawless fully loaded Chicago hot dog, freshly grilled burgers and great fries, has closed. With the coronavirus pandemic forcing countless downtown office workers to telecommute from home, the Loop-based U.B. Dogs decided it was time to close for good. Owner Joe Plonka announced the decision on Facebook: “While it breaks our hearts to announce our permanent closure, we wanted to take the time and properly thank our customers and family for their support over these last 10 years. Unfortunately, it’s time for us to end this chapter.” See the full story here. — Nick Kindelsperger
Unicorn Cafe
Unicorn Cafe had been serving coffee to Evanston for almost 30 years before the coffee shop closed permanently due to the financial effects of COVID-19, reported the Daily Northwestern earlier in September. According to the Daily report, ownership said the cafe was getting only 8-10 customers per day. Aside from being a local staple, Unicorn Cafe was one of only a handful of area coffee shops that offered the highly touted Sparrow Coffee.
Wells St. Market
Wells Street Market, which reopened July 6 after weathering the first three months of the coronavirus shut down (and was the first Chicago food hall to resume service) announced it will close for keeps Sept. 18. “From all of us at the Wells Street Market, it has been an honor and a joy to serve Chicagoans every day,” the company said in a release. The food hall made its debut, at 205 W. Wacker Drive, in June 2018. The food hall format had enjoyed a boom in Chicago in recent years. But most have not reopened since the coronavirus shutdown. Only Time Out Market has reopened. But a new market, Dr. Murphy’s Food Hall, launched in early August in the former Cook County Hospital. — Phil Vettel
The Whale closing indefinitely
The Whale (2427 N. Milwaukee Ave.), the glitzy Logan Square restaurant named for what casinos call an obscenely wealthy gambler, closed indefinitely last week. In a message posted on Facebook, the owners blamed the closing on the tight restrictions the state has imposed on restaurants. “Today we were forced to make the decision to lay off all our team members and close our doors to service. The restrictions that have been put on us by the elected officials are suffocating our industry and leaving us no choice. There has been no plan in place or system for relief.” The Whale opened last year, quickly amassing a strong following, though we found the food to be less than stellar. While it’s unknown how long the restaurant will be closed, the owners promise it will eventually return. “We WILL re-open and come back strong. We look forward to serving you again when that time comes.” — Nick Kindelsperger


chicagotribune--2020-11-03--Indiana COVID-19 hospitalizations near 1,900, new state high; Lake County again leads state with 369

Indiana COVID-19 hospitalizations near 1,900, new state high; Lake County again leads state with 369 new cases

The state agency also reported another 2,951 new cases of COVID-19 on Tuesday .
Indiana ’ s average daily number @ @ @ @ @ reached 3,084 as of Monday .
That is up almost 190 % from a month @ @ @ @ @ to new highs that the state has seen during the pandemic .

Indiana’s hospitals were treating the largest number of COVID-19 patients on Monday since the state began releasing public reports on coronavirus hospitalizations last spring, early in the pandemic, state health officials said.
Indiana had 1,867 coronavirus hospitalizations as of Monday, a number that surpasses the previous peak of 1,799 COVID-19 hospitalizations reported on April 13, the Indiana State Department of Health said Tuesday in its daily statistics update.
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In District 1, Lake, Porter and LaPorte counties were reporting 329 hospitalizations. The state dashboard shows that 30% of the district’s ICU beds are being used for COVID-19 patients.
The state’s coronavirus hospitalizations as of Monday marked a 95% jump in Indiana’s COVID-19 patients during the past month, the data show.
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The health department also added 50 more coronavirus-related deaths to Indiana’s pandemic toll, raising it to 4,439, including confirmed and presumed coronavirus infections. Indiana had a seven-day rolling average of 28 daily deaths as of Monday that represented one of the highest levels since May and nearly double from a month ago.
The state agency also reported another 2,951 new cases of COVID-19 on Tuesday. Indiana’s average daily number of newly confirmed COVD-19 cases reached 3,084 as of Monday. That is up almost 190% from a month ago and has continued rising to new highs that the state has seen during the pandemic.
Lake County was the state leader in new cases Monday with 369 and two additional deaths. Marion County reported 306 new cases and three deaths.
Marion County has the most cases in the state with 28,276 while Lake County is next with 16,748.
Porter County has had 4,262 cases and 60 deaths, according to the county health department dashboard.
Republican Gov. Eric Holcomb has resisted calls for reinstating coronavirus restrictions since lifting nearly all limits in late September, just as the state started recording sharp increases in hospitalizations, deaths and new infections.
Democratic governor candidate Woody Myers, a former state health commissioner, has said tougher restrictions needed to be reinstated in Indiana. He has also repeatedly called for a stronger mask mandate, as the one Holcomb has issued includes no penalties for violators.


chicagotribune--2020-11-03--17-year-old charged with killing his Hoffman Estates pot dealer 1 day after trying to rob him, prose

17-year-old charged with killing his Hoffman Estates pot dealer 1 day after trying to rob him, prosecutors say

Avila-Juarez yelled “ that he had just almost been robbed at gunpoint .
He frantically told his housemate to call @ @ @ @ @ information submitted by prosecutors during Armstrong ’ s bond hearing Monday .
As his roommate @ @ @ @ @ , Avila-Juarez explained that Armstrong pointed a gun at his chest and threatened to kill @ @ @ @ @ according to prosecutors .
A 911 call was made , but it was disconnected before @ @ @ @ @ .
The caller later told police he believed the call dropped because it was made @ @ @ @ @ not try calling back .

When a 17-year-old thrust a gun in Roberto Avila-Juarez’s face in an attempt to rob him, Avila-Juarez, 20, made a quick calculation that helped him narrowly escape into his Hoffman Estates home on Oct. 26, according to prosecutors.
But the following morning, in a window of about 30 minutes during which Avila-Juarez was alone in the home, the 17-year-old, Christian Armstrong, returned, entering through the unlocked front door and shot Avila-Juarez in the head at close range, killing him, according to Cook County prosecutors.
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Armstrong, of the 900 block of Grand Canyon Parkway in the northwest suburb, turned himself in to Hoffman Estates police Friday and was charged as an adult with attempted armed robbery and first-degree murder in connection with Avila-Juarez’s death, according to court records. He appeared in Rolling Meadows branch court before Cook County Judge Jill Cerone-Marisie, who ordered him held Monday in lieu of $100,000 bail with electronic monitoring should he post the $10,000 bond necessary to be released, according to court records and state’s attorney’s office spokeswoman Tandra Simonton.
The day before his death, Avila-Juarez had met up with two people, one of them Armstrong, who he previously had sold marijuana to, and Armstrong’s girlfriend, who contacted him on the video messaging app Snapchat to arrange a drug transaction, according to prosecutors. After the girlfriend drove Armstrong and Avila-Juarez somewhere else so Armstrong could buy marijuana, Armstrong, who was in the front seat, turned to Avila-Juarez in the back seat, pulled a gun and demanded his property, prosecutors said.
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Avila-Juarez said any additional property would be in his home in the 200 block of West Berkley Lane, according to court and police information. A witness told investigators she saw two males get out of a vehicle and rush toward the home, where Avila-Juarez managed to get inside and slam the door behind him, officials said.
Inside, Avila-Juarez, who lived with two roommates, a woman and a man, ran up the stairs, yelling for his male roommate to call police, prosecutors said.
Avila-Juarez yelled “that he had just almost been robbed at gunpoint. He frantically told his housemate to call 911,” according to information submitted by prosecutors during Armstrong’s bond hearing Monday. As his roommate was trying to call 911, Avila-Juarez explained that Armstrong pointed a gun at his chest and threatened to kill him and his family, according to prosecutors. A 911 call was made, but it was disconnected before police could get any information. The caller later told police he believed the call dropped because it was made using Wi-Fi and he did not try calling back.
But Avila-Juarez was rattled by the narrow escape from Armstrong and told family members via Snapchat that he feared for his life.
The next day, Avila-Juarez’s two roommates separately left the home, the latter at 11:15 a.m., and left the front door unlocked, as was their habit, officials said. Avila-Juarez was last seen around that time sitting upstairs on his bed, and investigators said he sent a Snapchat to his sister at 11:26 a.m.
About 25 minutes later, one of the roommates returned home and found Avila-Juarez with an apparent gunshot wound and tried unsuccessfully to revive him, prosecutors said. The medical examiner’s office said Avila-Juarez was pronounced dead at the home at 11:57 a.m.
The front door had been unlocked and a rear sliding door was ajar when the roommate returned to the home, officials said. One spent 9 mm Hornady cartridge was recovered near Avila-Juarez, officials said.
Investigators later learned that Armstrong lived nearby with his father, who owned a 9 mm handgun, which was missing from its usual place in the man’s nightstand, prosecutors said. The man said he kept the weapon inside a gun safe and when he last saw it, it was loaded with 15 live rounds, according to prosecutors.
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Armstrong called a relative and, using a vulgarity, said he was in trouble and called his girlfriend to arrange a ride to a nearby restaurant, from which another friend drove Armstrong to a relative’s home in Chicago. E-learning and cellphone records indicate Armstrong logged off from a lesson at 10:30 a.m. and began calling for a ride at 11:45 a.m., minutes before Avila-Juarez was discovered unresponsive in his home, officials said.
kdouglas@chicagotribune.com
Twitter @312BreakingNews


chicagotribune--2020-11-03--Evanston mayor asks Northwestern to pay police overtime bill for staffing student protests aimed at

Evanston mayor asks Northwestern to pay police overtime bill for staffing student protests aimed at defunding law enforcement

A student organizer with NU Community Not Cops declined an interview after she was asked to share her name for @ @ @ @ @ identity .
The group said in a social media message that students will only speak @ @ @ @ @ ’ re granted anonymity because “ we aren ’ t compromising our safety.
” Another @ @ @ @ @ Tribune about Saturday ’ s protest asked not to be named “ out of fear @ @ @ @ @

Property was vandalized in Evanston during a protest calling for Northwestern University police to be defunded. (Evanston Police Department)
After Northwestern University student protests escalated Saturday and one student was arrested, Evanston’s mayor issued a public letter calling on the school to reimburse the city for the resulting costs.
The letter highlights the ways in which the city of Evanston has been left to deal with protests in which students' demands are largely focused on university matters. The planned monthlong demonstrations are part of an effort by student-led NU Community Not Cops, a group that for weeks has been pushing the university to abolish or defund the campus police department and to sever ties with Evanston and Chicago agencies.
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However, because many of the protests have occurred off campus, the Evanston Police Department with assistance from other suburban agencies has largely been left to handle the response. NU police do not respond to events outside of campus grounds.
After weeks of largely peaceful protests with no arrests reported, on Saturday a group of about 150 protesters gathered in downtown Evanston near Sheridan Road and Clark Street. Evanston police characterized the event as turning from a peaceful protest “to that of intentional destruction.” One officer suffered an eye injury, protesters were pepper sprayed and more than a dozen incidents of property damage were reported, officials said.
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Police said the pepper spray was deployed to “prevent injury to bystanders and police officers.” Meanwhile, other campus groups Monday continued to criticize Evanston Police Department’s handling of the events on Halloween night.
A student organizer with NU Community Not Cops declined an interview after she was asked to share her name for the purpose of confirming her identity. The group said in a social media message that students will only speak to a reporter if they’re granted anonymity because “we aren’t compromising our safety.” Another student who spoke to the Tribune about Saturday’s protest asked not to be named “out of fear for his safety.”
Evanston police released video of what they describe as student protesters lighting fireworks in the direction of police officers on Oct. 31, 2020. (Evanston Police Department)
On Sunday, Evanston Mayor Steve Hagerty released a letter written to Northwestern President Morton Schapiro stating he expected the university to cover the costs of the local police response.
“While this 30-day protest is costing tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars, in overtime, which I anticipate NU will cover, I, like you, want to know that these protesters are safe,” Hagerty wrote. “It is always on my mind that the protester is someone’s child, and whether I agree or disagree with their efforts, they deserve to protest safely.”
In the letter, Hagerty cited Evanston’s recent efforts to reexamine its own policing procedures and the city’s landmark reparations initiative that will use money collected from a local marijuana sales tax to fund initiatives to support the community’s Black residents.
"Protesters are not helping their cause by putting officers' safety at risk and defacing and damaging public property, ironically all in a city that, while still very much a work-in-progress, is the first in America to create a reparations fund,” Hagerty wrote.
University spokesman Jon Yates released a statement in response, writing: “University leadership meets on a regular basis with the mayor of Evanston and the city manager, and we anticipate that our upcoming meetings will discuss the protest and a range of topics that impact both Northwestern and Evanston. We will continue to work in close partnership with the city to protect our campus community and our broader Evanston community.”
Other student groups, faculty members and Evanston activists also reacted to the weekend’s protests on Monday.
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A family member of Jacob Blake, the former Evanston resident shot by police in Kenosha over the summer, said the family does not condone violent protests and hopes to work with Evanston police Chief Demitrous Cook to help defuse the situation.
The Blake family drew thousands of supporters to peaceful rallies in Evanston and Kenosha following Jacob Blake’s shooting in August.
“You can’t be upset with people being dismayed and displeased. They have a right to be angry. We’re angry as well,” said Justin Blake, uncle of Jacob Blake. “We just choose to do things differently.”
Blake described Cook as “a dear friend of our family.”
“We ask that folks find another way” to channel their anger, Justin Blake said Monday.
Northwestern University Graduate Workers, an organization of graduate students that acts as a union without the school’s recognition, said in a statement that two of its members were pepper sprayed during the Halloween night protests.
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The group said it supports calls for NU to divest from law enforcement and condemned what it described as “the police brutality on display” at the protest, according to the online statement.
“Last night proved once again that it is heavily armed, militarized police who create and escalate violence,” the statement says. It added, “the police do not, and never will, keep us safe.”
The NUGW response also linked police actions during the protest to a recent email from Schapiro that criticized some demonstrators and urged him to resign.
The controversial Oct. 19 email followed a chaotic scene outside of Schapiro’s home, where a protest last month culminated. After that protest, in which a school banner was burned and campus property was spray painted, Schapiro issued a schoolwide email rebuking the protesters who became destructive and saying he was “disgusted” by those who “chose to disgrace” Northwestern. While Schapiro said he supported expressions of free speech, he announced there were no plans to abolish the campus police department.
But NUGW said Schapiro’s rhetoric emboldened Evanston police officers to provoke protesters on Saturday and in the days since email.
“This was a threat of aggression which gave police officers the green light to exact violence with impunity against student protesters,” the NUGW statements says. “President Schapiro, who sits in one of the highest positions of power at this institution, helped to unleash this terror on his own students.”
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NUGW describes itself on its website as an “an anti-racist, feminist labor union fighting for better working and living conditions for all graduate workers.”
For Black, brown and Indigenous graduate workers, the fight to eradicate police from Northwestern’s campus is an issue of workplace safety, the group said. It challenged recent media accounts of this weekend’s protest, including the Chicago Tribune’s, saying journalists have accepted the police version of events.
As of Monday afternoon, broad swaths of the faculty hadn’t publicly weighed in on Saturday’s protest, but many previously expressed dismay at Schapiro’s handling of earlier student actions. Academic departments in African American studies, anthropology and global health studies all issued statements in support of the student protesters after Schapiro’s harsh email and urged Schapiro to better address issues of racial injustice on campus.
Additionally, an Oct. 26 letter signed by a coalition of more than 500 faculty and staff also admonished Schapiro for dismissing student concerns and failing to engage with Black faculty members.
“We share our colleagues' conviction that your responses, and those of the university administration at large, to ongoing instances of violence at the campus, local, state, and national levels have been inadequate, bureaucratic, and complacent,” the letter says.
Police said they charged a 20-year-old female student with misdemeanor battery, resisting arrest and using a fictitious and altered driver’s license after “she used her bike to strike an officer."
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Genevieve Bookwalter is a Pioneer Press reporter.
gbookwalter@chicagotribune.com
echerney@chicagotribune.com


chicagotribune--2020-11-03--Column: Dreaming of holiday gifts for the person who just wants 2020 to be over. A time machine woul

Column: Dreaming of holiday gifts for the person who just wants 2020 to be over. A time machine would be nice.

Stylish face masks are all the rage in our coronavirus-altered world , but this one is designed specifically to get @ @ @ @ @ 2020 healthy and unable to witness any additional horrors .
The part of the mask @ @ @ @ @ mouth is made of silky biodegradable materials and includes a pocket for a filter or @ @ @ @ @ unlike regular masks , this one comes with a band of heavy black cotton that @ @ @ @ @ noise-canceling ear plugs , making it impossible for the wearer to read or hear bad @ @

The key question this holiday gift-giving season is simple: What do you get for the person who only wants this godforsaken year to end?
That person is most of us. We’ve had enough. We want little more than for the hands of time to get a move on and propel us out of 2020, a tragically ongoing year that has achieved synonymity with the term “Dumpster fire.”
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Consider, briefly, the torrent of terribleness that rained down on us this year: a deadly coronavirus pandemic that, as you read this, is taking lives and derailing holiday plans and traditions; wildfires raging in the West; civil unrest across the country; the Summer Olympics postponed; movie theaters, bars and restaurants shut down; a wildly divisive presidential election; Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death; Kobe Bryant’s death; Chadwick Boseman’s death; Eddie Van Halen’s death.
Shall I go on? No, I shall not. This is, after all, a holiday gift guide and not an airing of woes. Suffice it to say 2020 has been a bit much.
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If you asked me what I would most like to find under the Christmas tree this year, I’d say: “Next year.” And I bet many others have holiday lists that look like this:
1) Nice lotion for hands raw from hand-washing
2) 2021
So we have a gift-giving dilemma. America lacks affordable time-travel technology, and America’s witches are notoriously unwilling to publish books detailing spells that might effectively POOF! us from one year to the next.
That means we have to be clever. We have to find gifts for the “PLEASE GET ME OUT OF HERE!” crowd that will improve, or at least make tolerable, the dreary days between the holidays and the new year.
Fortunately, I have a few ideas. (You’re welcome.)
1) Customized 2020 T-shirt.
This lovingly silk-screened T-shirt is 90% cotton and 10% artisanal kerosene and reads: “I Survived 2020 And All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt That I Will Now Burn In Protest!” The shirt is guaranteed to become a treasured favorite for the 15-minute window between unwrapping it, tossing it in a fire pit and setting it ablaze while screaming, “BE GONE, HORRIBLE YEAR! BE GONE!!” (Matches and fire pit not included.)
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2) 2021 Calendar of 2020 Calendars Being Shredded and Trod Upon.
This gift will allow your loved ones to revisit their visceral hatred of the year 2020 each month of the new year! The calendar features 12 high-definition images of a 2020 calendar being destroyed in spectacular fashion. For example, January’s photo shows a 2020 Garfield calendar getting torn to pieces by a pack of rabid chinchillas. And you won’t want to miss April, which captures the moment a 2020 Joke-of-the-Day calendar was blown to pieces by a grenade thrown by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
3) A “2020 Memories” journal.
This handcrafted, leather-bound journal will allow the deep-thinkers in your life to preserve their thoughts as the year comes to a close. It contains zero pages and will crumble to dust on Jan. 1, 2021. (Pen not included, for obvious reasons.)
4) An abbreviated-by-one-year “Timeline of American History” poster.
History buffs will cherish this suitable-for-framing, 6-foot-long, 1-foot-wide poster that traces highlights of American history from the year 1776 to the year 2019. The year 2020 is not listed, but is acknowledged in a small footnote that reads: “Don’t ask.”
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5) Coronavirus face mask with eye and ear covering.
Stylish face masks are all the rage in our coronavirus-altered world, but this one is designed specifically to get people through the end of 2020 healthy and unable to witness any additional horrors. The part of the mask that covers the nose and mouth is made of silky biodegradable materials and includes a pocket for a filter or your existential angst. But unlike regular masks, this one comes with a band of heavy black cotton that covers both eyes and two noise-canceling ear plugs, making it impossible for the wearer to read or hear bad news.
There are, of course, a multitude of more traditional gifts out there, as you’ll see in the pages that follow. Just because we all want to flee 2020 like a mouse in a barn full of hungry cats doesn’t mean every gift should be worst-year-ever-centric.
In fact, as we reach the highly anticipated conclusion of this column, it’s worth noting that even in the worst of times, we can all find good things to celebrate. Like each other. And the blessings we have.
To paraphrase the inestimable words of Dr. Seuss, as he detailed the Grinch’s marvelous realization that gifts, in years good or bad, might not be as crucial as advertised: What if the holidays, perhaps, mean a little bit more?
May your holidays be meaningful. And may next year, which I still argue can’t come soon enough, be a doubly good one.
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rhuppke@chicagotribune.com