thepoke--2020-12-29--This child’s literary misunderstanding has gone viral all over again because it’s so good

This hilarious literary misunderstanding has gone viral all over again because it ’ s so good .
It ’ s @ @ @ @ @ Reddit who asked : ‘ What word or phrase did you totally misunderstand as a @ @ @ @ @ don ’ t come much better than this … It was shared on Twitter by @ @ @ @ @ people sharing their own misunderstandings , which were funny if not quite so epic .
@ @ @ @ @ make your day just a little bit better

Popular
This hilarious literary misunderstanding has gone viral all over again because it’s so good.
It’s an answer to someone on Reddit who asked: ‘What word or phrase did you totally misunderstand as a child?’
And they don’t come much better than this …
It was shared on Twitter by @SteveStuWill and it got people sharing their own misunderstandings, which were funny if not quite so epic.
haha, reminds me of my son after watching terminator 2 saying “I still love Easter, baby” — mpp75214 (@mpp75214) December 24, 2020
In the related category of misheard lyrics, for years I thought the Von Trapp children were saying "so long, farewell, our feet are saying goodbye". Which kind of makes sense. If you can vote with your feet surely you can talk with them. — Horde56 (@realHorde56) December 24, 2020
Going to a restaurant in USA with little street English was a challenge. But I'm not stupid so when the fast speaking waitress ask me what I wanted I always replied: "Super Salad!". To my dismay a less-than-regular salad was always served. 10 years later is "Soup'or salad Sir?" — G Pittelli (@PittelliGabriel) December 24, 2020
Reminds me of the time I asked what the Soup du Jour was, and the waitress told me it was “the soup of the day.” — Dan Ross (@rosswords) December 24, 2020
When I was a child, I thought "good morning" is just a noise that you do when you meet someone. I did not realized it's two words meaning something. — Tomas Sima (@SimaTomas) December 24, 2020
I always thought Gods first name was Peter.
“Thanks be to God”. — Young_man (@Youngma10654474) December 24, 2020
In the 70’s I would hear news reports of Guerrillas fighting and for years I thought it was actual gorillas fighting with guns. I accepted it as fact and never questioned it 😁 — Veronica Lishencorrs (@Muggleflump) December 24, 2020
For me it was Catholic School grades 1-3 and we had to say Hail Mary’s at mass and I always said it at the end : “Pray for us swimmers”. It didn’t make any sense but I just went along with it. — Tom Delaney (@tedelaney2009) December 25, 2020
My parents told me that I didn’t have a middle name as they couldn’t afford one when I was born. I told people that as I believed it was true. Only in my mid teens did someone tell me that there’s no cost involved. 🙈 — Andrew Hart (@AHart1974) December 25, 2020
READ MORE
Simply 23 brilliant comebacks to make your day just a little bit better
Source Reddit Twitter @SteveStuWill


thepoke--2020-12-29--‘Spice Girls featuring Phil Mitchell’ is 5 seconds very well spent

It ’ s been a while since we ’ ve watched EastEnders but we imagine it ’ s no more @ @ @ @ @ than it was the last time we saw it .
Which surely makes this 5 @ @ @ @ @ JakeMC_ over on Twitter , even better .
People loved this TV quiz contestant ’ @ @ @ @ @ not entirely amazing prize

Videos
It’s been a while since we’ve watched EastEnders but we imagine it’s no more a bunch of laughs now than it was the last time we saw it.
Which surely makes this 5 second treat, from @JakeMC_ over on Twitter, even better.
Spice Girls featuring Phil Mitchell pic.twitter.com/ENjMhIUlm2 — Jake McBain (@JakeMC_) December 26, 2020
Boom.
https://twitter.com/Butlerballs/status/1343224291031216140?s=20
READ MORE
People loved this TV quiz contestant’s reaction to winning a not entirely amazing prize
Source Twitter @JakeMC_


thepoke--2020-12-29--The only 5 reactions you need to the Trump video that puts parodies to shame

Most people , when running for election or re-election , make and share their campaign videos before voting takes place @ @ @ @ @ ’ t most people .
The President , who is still insisting he won ‘ @ @ @ @ @ a huge amount of evidence to the contrary , was inundated with reactions – some @ @ @ @ @ , but mostly involving utter bewilderment at the ill-timed self-promotion .
These were the five @ @ @ @ @ ’ re not sure how the estate of Aaron Copland , who wrote the joyously @ @ @ @ @ about the use of his piece , but a lot of people recognised it from @ @ @ @ @ .
Trump ’ s ghostwriter predicted in uncanny detail how he ’ d react to @ @ @

Videos
Most people, when running for election or re-election, make and share their campaign videos before voting takes place, but Donald Trump isn’t most people.
The President, who is still insisting he won ‘BY A LOT’ despite a huge amount of evidence to the contrary, was inundated with reactions – some sharing his delusion of success, but mostly involving utter bewilderment at the ill-timed self-promotion.
These were the five best we saw.
1.
It is not normal for the president to share campaign videos nearly two months after he decisively lost https://t.co/rhB9fXjZwL — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) December 28, 2020
2.
I've never seen this one. It features a picture of the Nobel Prize, as if he'd…..won one (Fact check — he did not) https://t.co/qblHWoYcjq — Stephanie Grace (@stephgracela) December 28, 2020
3.
you're still campaigning for a job you lost eight weeks ago. get over it already. don't even bother to leave mar-a-lago. we'll get someone to pack your crap and mail it to you — Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) December 28, 2020
4.
334k dead and the President is teaching himself iMovie. https://t.co/DPwM18elmL — Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) December 29, 2020
5.
Who paid for this garbage?!! https://t.co/CZLSScrY7p — Morgan J. Freeman (@mjfree) December 28, 2020
We’re not sure how the estate of Aaron Copland, who wrote the joyously western Hoe-Down, might feel about the use of his piece, but a lot of people recognised it from an ad campaign for beef.
Someone on the Trump Train thought if It worked for beef…https://t.co/7S66dceGU6 — Janie (@JPoppinsR) December 28, 2020
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Trump’s ghostwriter predicted in uncanny detail how he’d react to losing an election
Source Donald Trump Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-29--These dogs couldn’t love their snowy racetrack any more than they do

Sometimes it seems like we don ’ t deserve dogs – with their boundless loyalty and the delight they show @ @ @ @ @ even the shortest absence .
However , the mother of TikTok user @ anonymousbanana1567 absolutely @ @ @ @ @ – well , just look what she did for them .
Those are some happy @ @ @ @ @ too .
That track must have taken a lot of serious spadework .
The clip @ @ @ @ @ , where it has picked up almost 200,000 views in less than 12 hours , @ @ @ @ @ plus it ’ s had on TikTok .
Here ’ s how tweeters have been @ @ @ @ @ .
How much this dog loves the snow is almost as funny as how much @ @ @ @

Videos
Sometimes it seems like we don’t deserve dogs – with their boundless loyalty and the delight they show when their owners return from even the shortest absence.
However, the mother of TikTok user @anonymousbanana1567 absolutely deserves her dogs, because – well, just look what she did for them.
Those are some happy pups – and quite right too. That track must have taken a lot of serious spadework.
The clip made its way onto Twitter, where it has picked up almost 200,000 views in less than 12 hours, to go with the million plus it’s had on TikTok.
so my mom built a race track for our dogs
(anonymousbanana1567 : tiktok) pic.twitter.com/0ForwJxFCZ — Humor And Animals (@humorandanimals) December 28, 2020
Here’s how tweeters have been reacting to the joyous sight.
Retweeting this knowing my dogs will never see it. https://t.co/RM3pAFUdXa — Paul Bae (@MrPaulBae) December 28, 2020
Big move on the 2nd turn sealed it. https://t.co/3haAP778lk — Papo Morales (@papocore1) December 29, 2020
Well, I was wondering when a remake of Cool Runnings was coming. https://t.co/3761MsEmCz — Benedict Spence (@BenedictSpence) December 29, 2020
absolutely brilliant https://t.co/gnBk0ayMjr — 🌛 Miss Fly By Night🏴🥰🦋🌛 (@MissFlyByNight) December 29, 2020
Simon Evans set everyone a challenge.
Your challenge – watch this fewer than five times. https://t.co/Rr0UpassNV — simon evans (@TheSimonEvans) December 29, 2020
Not possible.
READ MORE
How much this dog loves the snow is almost as funny as how much the horses hate it
Source @anonymousbanana1567 Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-29--Olaf Falafel’s 2020 Monopoly has all the key elements of the year from Hell

Stand-up comedian , author and artist , Olaf Falafel , has created the Monopoly set that nobody asked for but @ @ @ @ @ of the usual landmarks and instructions – or even the film and TV-themed ones like @ @ @ @ @ Morty – Olaf has given us the board game version of 2020 .
It looks @ @ @ @ @ sold quite a few sets , although he ’ d have been sued for copyright @ @ @ @ @ the best part of 2020 in Monopoly form is that you can do with it @ @ @ @ @ the other versions of Monopoly – stick it back in its box and shove it @ @ @ @ @ cupboard .

Pics
Stand-up comedian, author and artist, Olaf Falafel, has created the Monopoly set that nobody asked for but everybody would play.
Instead of the usual landmarks and instructions – or even the film and TV-themed ones like Star Wars or Rick and Morty – Olaf has given us the board game version of 2020.
I got the 2020 Monopoly for Christmas cant wait to play it later pic.twitter.com/usaHmCQLJu — Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) December 25, 2020
It looks as though he could have sold quite a few sets, although he’d have been sued for copyright infringement.
If this isn't real it should be https://t.co/qVo8tSYS1S — Charlotte Kneer (@C_Kneer) December 26, 2020
Really like this.
2 questions:
How long have you been holding onto this?
How did you not wake up all excited at 6 and post it straight away? — Tinselly teaching Jon (@teachingjon) December 25, 2020
Brilliant ! You test positive for Covid, self isolate for two turns — chickenflan (@chickenflan) December 25, 2020
Is 'chance' a covid test? https://t.co/s1zNo44fYO — Name cannot be blank (@Tatton82) December 26, 2020
He added an update.
MONOPOLY UPDATE:
Have spent the last three hours arguing over who gets to be the Chris Whitty pic.twitter.com/7Sc4x1mTue — Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) December 26, 2020
Of course, the best part of 2020 in Monopoly form is that you can do with it what you do with all the other versions of Monopoly – stick it back in its box and shove it at the back of a cupboard.
READ MORE
Warning: Olaf Falafel’s Government COVID Slogan generator is highly addictive
Source Olaf Falafel Image Olaf Falafel


thepoke--2020-12-29--14 hilarious responses to Richard Dawkins’ trippy lion and spider conundrum

There ’ s a point over the Christmas period when too much rich food , complete lack of routine and @ @ @ @ @ celebrity quiz shows and schmaltz makes everything a little surreal .
When that happens , @ @ @ @ @ oft-mocked inability to remember what day it is or to compute whether the bins should @ @ @ @ @ can also give rise to those existential questions sometimes described as ‘ shower thoughts ’ @ @ @ @ @ Richard Dawkins is probably the most famous evolutionary biologist in the UK , although more @ @ @ @ @ , people were a little baffled by the question .
These were the funniest responses @

Twitter
There’s a point over the Christmas period when too much rich food, complete lack of routine and an uncensored diet of festive celebrity quiz shows and schmaltz makes everything a little surreal.
When that happens, it can lead to the oft-mocked inability to remember what day it is or to compute whether the bins should go out – and it can also give rise to those existential questions sometimes described as ‘shower thoughts’ …like this.
Given that Richard Dawkins is probably the most famous evolutionary biologist in the UK, although more well known for his Atheism, people were a little baffled by the question.
These were the funniest responses.
1.
Richard Dawkins clearly received some weapons grade marijuana for Christmas. pic.twitter.com/cSQsl5LO1f — Alex Faulkner (@hearthefalconer) December 28, 2020
2.
If Richard Dawkins was discovered wandering around London, eating discarded fast food and shitting on Nelson's Column, it would be headline news, yet pigeons regularly do this and we just accept it. — Gravitas, What Gravitas? (@KissMyGravitas) December 28, 2020
3.
'I meant any other questions about the job…' https://t.co/9HyEAT06BM — Stephen Graham (@StephenCVGraham) December 28, 2020
4.
MPs debating spiders weaving colossal webs relative to their size VS. MPs debating lions' hypothetical antelope-catching mega nets https://t.co/lpkAR4A6jc pic.twitter.com/5hKKlCOFO5 — alex kealy (@alexkealy) December 28, 2020
5.
I think the difference is that one is commonplace and the other was made up by you just now. — Cody Johnston (@drmistercody) December 28, 2020
6.
7.


thepoke--2020-12-30--Tiers, tests and vaccines – our 15 favourite pandemic jokes

With large parts of England already in the highest tier – a virtual lockdown – people are anxiously awaiting the @ @ @ @ @ if they will join them – or enter a rumoured new and stricter tier .
@ @ @ @ @ has still managed to make jokes about the situation , and we ’ ve collected @ @ @

Twitter
With large parts of England already in the highest tier – a virtual lockdown – people are anxiously awaiting the expected update to find out if they will join them – or enter a rumoured new and stricter tier.
Anxious or not, Twitter has still managed to make jokes about the situation, and we’ve collected some favourites.
1.
I'm hearing the government is planning to open 10,000 Nightingale Schools by Monday staffed by captured lorry drivers — HarryPie. (@HarryPie1862) December 29, 2020
2.
ME: Maybe the real cure is the vaccines we made along the way OTHER SCIENTIST: Yeah Max, were hoping thats what happens — (@SandwichGhoul) December 28, 2020
3.
Beginning to regret suggesting Johnson give a £2B test & trace contract to my wife’s brother, Ainsley Cannister-Shitpipe, whose only previous infectious disease experience was giving the horses at his boarding school human syphilis. — Rob Delaney (@robdelaney) December 21, 2020
4.
they should use the checkout staff at Aldi to get this vaccine out — Julian Deane-19 (@Julian_Deane) December 26, 2020
5.
Craig Revel Horwood should be announcing what tiers we’re in like this. pic.twitter.com/vwlmBUEbfA — Jo Frost’s Naughty Step (@supernannyreact) December 29, 2020
6.
If you think secondary students can administer COVID-19 tests themselves you have clearly never asked them to glue in a work sheet. — Lávate las manos Ponte una máscarilla (@GeorgeJeggings) December 29, 2020
7.
You’ll know if you get the vaccine from Oxford because it’ll tell you — Billie (@_BillieBelieves) December 27, 2020
8.


thepoke--2020-12-30--‘Who put dis white stuff here?’

‘Who put dis white stuff here?’

This video of a dog leaping into the snow and getting rather more than it bargained for went viral because @ @ @ @ @ ‘ The way he looks around when his head pops up.
’ aljodes ‘ He @ @ @ @ @ tail to get out of there.
’ BenTennyson2101

This video of a dog leaping into the snow and getting rather more than it bargained for went viral because, well, watch.
Awww!
‘The way he looks around when his head pops up.’ aljodes
‘He just needs to wag his tail to get out of there.’ BenTennyson2101


thepoke--2020-12-30--Simply 25 WTF clips from British news in 2020

In the grand tradition of media people everywhere , the marvellous Scott Bryan has gathered some favourite things from one @ @ @ @ @ 2020 .
This particular set features unmissable moments from British news .
4 .
When @ @ @ @ @ same way as your nan does it 7 .
When people finally acknowledged that the @ @ @ @ @ absolute banger 10 .
The moment a terrifed nation thought Margaret Thatcher might be a @ @ @ @ @ re-opening – or not

Best Of
In the grand tradition of media people everywhere, the marvellous Scott Bryan has gathered some favourite things from one genre that all happened in 2020.
This particular set features unmissable moments from British news.
We all need a bit of a lift, so here’s my favourite BBC News / Sky News / other British news moments of 2020. — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 29, 2020
1. Interrupting kid – part 1
1. When a diplomatic news update on Sky News went off the rails when her son interrupted to ask for two biscuits pic.twitter.com/EkdJTinkTW — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 29, 2020
2. Interrupting kid – part 2
2. When an interview on BBC News was interrupted by Scarlett asking where she should place her unicorn [fun fact: both of these happened on the same day] pic.twitter.com/ngO9zHOd2U — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 29, 2020
3. A diplomatic incident of the Rick Astley kind
3. When @MetMattTaylor was asked whether he was a Rick Astley fan and he said no. Coming up next on @BBCBreakfast … Rick Astley!pic.twitter.com/UDUySJVEX4 — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 29, 2020
4. When Gordon Brown closed Zoom the same way as your nan does it
4. When Gordon Brown finished his @BBCBreakfast interview by doing this pic.twitter.com/flq8H3BC4O — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 29, 2020
5. Top tip: Never mention beavers on live TV
5. When @TVNaga01 asked Charlie Stayt when was the last time he had seen a beaver (look at their faces) pic.twitter.com/Txv9nbKRIp — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 29, 2020
6. Part current affairs presenter – part ninja
6. When Emily Maitlis’ legs mysteriously disappeared at the start of Newsnight [@maitlis] pic.twitter.com/7Hj4YxMKku — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 29, 2020
7. When people finally acknowledged that the BBC News theme is an absolute banger
7. When @piffleandwhimsy merged Dua Lipa and the BBC News theme, so BBC News decided to play it out on air instead of the regular news countdown pic.twitter.com/g9eJ5JkCng — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 29, 2020
8. The inevitable Simon McCoy moment – part 1
8. When the BBC News team put this story in the running order to annoy @BBCSimonMcCoy pic.twitter.com/ces1tx0LCe — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 29, 2020
9. The inevitable Simon McCoy moment – part 2
9. When @BBCSimonMcCoy completely fell apart whilst reporting this story about a man who plays the piano to monkeys pic.twitter.com/U91pSMgaSX — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 29, 2020
10. The moment a terrifed nation thought Margaret Thatcher might be a zombie
10. When BBC News mistakingly reported that Margaret Thatcher had tweeted to congratulate Biden on his election win pic.twitter.com/2sDP8RFtPl — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 29, 2020
11. A masterclass in sheer professionalism from Victoria Derbyshire
11. The way @vicderbyshire decided to bring this interview with Dame Vivienne Westwood to a close pic.twitter.com/umMQHWUFqr — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) December 29, 2020
12. The grand re-opening – or not


thepoke--2020-12-30--Anti-masker takedown of the year

Anti-masker takedown of the year

There ’ s been no shortage of brutally funny takedowns of covidiots who refuse to wear a mask during the @ @ @ @ @ went viral all over again on Reddit because , well , have a read for @ @ @ @ @ , evolution , ’ said Redditor regian24 who shared it .
And this a close @ @ @ @ @ runner-up .
Simply 13 favourite takedowns of covidiots who refuse to wear a mask

Twitter
There’s been no shortage of brutally funny takedowns of covidiots who refuse to wear a mask during the pandemic but this one just went viral all over again on Reddit because, well, have a read for yourself.
‘Ah yes, evolution,’ said Redditor regian24 who shared it.
Boom.
And this a close – very close! – runner-up.
READ MORE
Simply 13 favourite takedowns of covidiots who refuse to wear a mask
Source Reddit u/regian24 Reddit u/kevinowdziej


thepoke--2020-12-30--‘The 12 Days of Tory’ is the festive political update we didn’t know we needed

One of the few good things about 2020 has been the hilarious mockery served up by comedians Larry and Paul @ @ @ @ @ handling of …well , everything .
As a last hurrah to the year that needs @ @ @ @ @ , the duo gave us this wonderful version of ‘ the 12 Days of Christmas @ @ @ @ @ ’ t be a Larry and Paul government parody without a nod to the three-part @ @ @ @ @ They posted it to Twitter – naturally – where it brightened people ’ s Christmas @ @ @ @ @ the case with satire , there ’ s a cloud attached to that silver lining @ @ @ @ @ s final ‘ Real Daily Briefing ’ of 2020 might be the best yet

Videos
One of the few good things about 2020 has been the hilarious mockery served up by comedians Larry and Paul for the government over its handling of …well, everything.
As a last hurrah to the year that needs to get in the bin, the duo gave us this wonderful version of ‘the 12 Days of Christmas’.
It just wouldn’t be a Larry and Paul government parody without a nod to the three-part slogan, would it?
They posted it to Twitter – naturally – where it brightened people’s Christmas.
I’m going to learn the words to this. https://t.co/5gAf6pYu4t — Mike Butcher (@mikebutcher) December 29, 2020
Five Gold rings is the only bit of this song I knew and I have now replaced with new and improved lyrics…😂 Feliz Navidad all!!! x https://t.co/jEI5Eq7ADX — Maz (@EstibalizTerron) December 24, 2020
Brilliant as always!
An antidote to depressing news & best Xmas 🎁🎄🙏. — julia (@jjulia286) December 24, 2020
As is so often the case with satire, there’s a cloud attached to that silver lining.
This is LOL, yet 🙁 as too true https://t.co/tKowNQpFET — Lance Wicks (@lancew) December 26, 2020
READ MORE
Larry and Paul’s final ‘Real Daily Briefing’ of 2020 might be the best yet
Source Larry and Paul Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-30--Rory Bremner accidentally quelled a Tory rebellion against John Major

There ’ s no doubt that Rory Bremner has what the cool kids call “ mad skills ” when it @ @ @ @ @ The Bremner , Bird and Fortune star manages to replicate the vocal stylings of a @ @ @ @ @ all walks of life , such as comedians – like Billy Connolly , Royals – @ @ @ @ @ perhaps most famously – many , many politicians .
Back in 1993 , Rory ’ @ @ @ @ @ an uprising of anti-European Tory backbenchers – an attempted coup which would obviously never happen @ @ @ @ @ Radio 4 ’ s Today programme about how it happened .
We now want to @ @ @ @ @ Sir Richard Body happened .
If anyone has footage … As his reaction shows , @ @ @ @ @ .
It raised the possibility of missed opportunities .
If he could do that by @ @ @ @ @ could do deliberately .
Rory Bremner absolutely nails the new slogan the PM would probably @ @ @

Videos
There’s no doubt that Rory Bremner has what the cool kids call “mad skills” when it comes to doing impressions.
The Bremner, Bird and Fortune star manages to replicate the vocal stylings of a wide range of celebrities from all walks of life, such as comedians – like Billy Connolly, Royals – including Prince Charles and, perhaps most famously – many, many politicians.
Back in 1993, Rory’s uncanny talent accidentally quelled an uprising of anti-European Tory backbenchers – an attempted coup which would obviously never happen now.
via Gfycat
He spoke to Radio 4’s Today programme about how it happened.
How @rorybremner's impressions of ex-PM John Major proved so realistic he inadvertently thwarted a revolt of Tory MPs against him – as revealed in the National Archives today #r4Today Full story here: https://t.co/nJ181hLC4C pic.twitter.com/R4ZCShOnZA — BBC Radio 4 Today (@BBCr4today) December 30, 2020
We now want to know if that dance with Sir Richard Body happened. If anyone has footage …
The ERG's intellectual pedigree in all its glory https://t.co/MmokaZvWDu — James M. Turner QC (@ShipBrief) December 30, 2020
Absolutely superb Rory Bremner. https://t.co/ziKFbty7I0 — Mihir Bose (@mihirbose) December 30, 2020
As his reaction shows, it happened purely by chance.
It’s all true I’m afraid. Who knew? I certainly didn’t. https://t.co/7PEmrMPd1q — Rory Bremner (@rorybremner) December 30, 2020
It raised the possibility of missed opportunities.
If only you’d rung @BorisJohnson when he was wavering in 2016 🤣🤣🤣 — john turner (@jtlondon) December 30, 2020
If he could do that by accident, imagine what he could do deliberately.
Many congratulations, Rory. When you form a government, may I plump for Culture Minister or Chancellor? Not fussed, surprise me. — GailRenard (@GailRenard) December 30, 2020
#RoryForPM
READ MORE
Rory Bremner absolutely nails the new slogan the PM would probably love to introduce
Source BBC Radio 4 Today Image Screengrab, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-30--A former UKIP MEP who defended people saying ‘Chinese virus’ is less happy this is happening with th

A former UKIP MEP who defended people saying ‘Chinese virus’ is less happy this is happening with the new Covid-19 strain

Spare a thought – not really – for former UKIP MEP Roger Helmer who ’ s not happy – not @ @ @ @ @ people saying this about the new coronavirus strain .
Could it be the same Roger @ @ @ @ @ a little while back about Donald Trump and his enthusiasm for calling Covid-19 the ‘ @ @ @ @ @ course it could .
It was spotted by James Loxley – @ oldnorthroad – over @ @ @ @ @ wildly viral … … while over on Reddit tequilanoodles said : ‘ I never thought @ @ @ @ @ virus after MY country !
’ Here are just a few of the things people @ @ @ @ @ Roger Helmer Reacts ” is a great Twitter account taking the piss out of the @ @ @ @ @ MEP

Twitter
Spare a thought – not really – for former UKIP MEP Roger Helmer who’s not happy – not happy at all – with people saying this about the new coronavirus strain.
Can we please stop referring to new-variant Covid as “originating in the UK”. It was FIRST IDENTIFIED in the UK, which is an entirely different thing. — Roger Helmer (@RogerHelmerMEP) December 28, 2020
Could it be the same Roger Helmer who said this just a little while back about Donald Trump and his enthusiasm for calling Covid-19 the ‘Chinese virus’? Of course it could.
It was spotted by James Loxley – @oldnorthroad – over on Twitter who subsequently went wildly viral …
… while over on Reddit tequilanoodles said: ‘I never thought they’d name a virus after MY country!’
Here are just a few of the things people said about it.
I agree it was nothing to do with Scotland, Wales or Ireland. Let’s compromise and just call it the “English virus”! #EnglishVirus — Tom Dickson (@TomDickson16) December 29, 2020
Chef-fuckin-kiss. https://t.co/4DrdECYNvy — Derek from Milk Barn Farm (@fraying) December 29, 2020
It is almost like…it’s not about the principal of the thing, but more about nationalistic exceptionality (and using whatever principal works in the moment) — Pollik (@Pollik) December 29, 2020
Life comes at you fast, faster if you’re stupid… https://t.co/M6eyw7tERW — Jake Williams (@MalwareJake) December 29, 2020
I’m also worried that Roger thinks viruses are a type of food. — Ed Round 🔶🇪🇺🏴 (@EdMRound) December 29, 2020
READ MORE
“Roger Helmer Reacts” is a great Twitter account taking the piss out of the (now former) UKIP MEP
Source Twitter @oldnorthroad Reddit u/tequilanoodles


thepoke--2020-12-30--Sir Anthony Hopkins’ inspiring New Year message went viral because it touched so many people

It ’ s the eve of New Year ’ s Eve and the great Sir Anthony Hopkins shared a message @ @ @ @ @ because it meant so much to so many people .
What he had to say @ @ @ @ @ absolutely universal at the same time and , well , have a watch for yourself @ @ @ @ @ a few of the many , many things people were saying about it .
Took @ @ @ @ @ he posted a while back and it ’ s fair to say it had a @ @ @ @ @ about it .
This child ’ s literary misunderstanding has gone viral all over again @ @ @ @ @ good

Videos
It’s the eve of New Year’s Eve and the great Sir Anthony Hopkins shared a message on Twitter that went viral because it meant so much to so many people.
What he had to say was both deeply personal and absolutely universal at the same time and, well, have a watch for yourself.
With gratitude, I celebrate 45 years of sobriety. pic.twitter.com/fxzMRGlI4m — Anthony Hopkins (@AnthonyHopkins) December 29, 2020
‘Today is the tomorrow you were so worried about yesterday … Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.’
And here are just a few of the many, many things people were saying about it.
If this doesn’t get you going nothing will … https://t.co/HRQp2hTgP5 — Jeremy Piven (@jeremypiven) December 30, 2020
An inspiration. In more ways than one. https://t.co/0QFkfzGnOV — Rufus Sewell (@FredrikSewell) December 29, 2020
Oh, I LOVE this 🤩😍🥰 Honestly, a life free from the gnawing misery of addiction is utterly WONDERFUL 🎊🎉🥳 https://t.co/8w1dqAX54v — Marian Keyes (@MarianKeyes) December 30, 2020
https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1344024861111427077?s=20
‘BE BOLD AND MIGHTY FORCES WILL COME TO YOUR AID’ https://t.co/dRyVNHfdlZ — Jason Isbell (@JasonIsbell) December 29, 2020
More of this please https://t.co/PXnvBqgPOs — Patricia Heaton (@PatriciaHeaton) December 30, 2020
well I cried https://t.co/mUKQdR0NiJ — Jesse Thorn (@JesseThorn) December 29, 2020
This is so nice https://t.co/TC8w7g2dID — Sarah Kendall (@Sarah_Kendall) December 29, 2020
Happy anniversary and all my love to you Tony. https://t.co/viWkpwq8Lp — AlecBaldwin(HABF) (@AlecBaldwin) December 29, 2020
Took us back to this clip he posted a while back and it’s fair to say it had a bit of a different vibe about it.
This is what happens when you’re all work and no play… pic.twitter.com/2KvkJ2baw6 — Anthony Hopkins (@AnthonyHopkins) April 22, 2018
READ MORE
This child’s literary misunderstanding has gone viral all over again because it’s so good
Source Twitter @AnthonyHopkins


thepoke--2020-12-30--Comeback of the day

Comeback of the day

Comeback of the day here shared by pablodesarasate over on Reddit who says : ‘ Exodus 20:7.
’ And this @ @ @ @ @ three of the comments it prompted .
Simply 23 brilliant comebacks to make your day @ @ @ @ @

Popular
Comeback of the day here shared by pablodesarasate over on Reddit who says: ‘Exodus 20:7.’
And this is why.
And just three of the comments it prompted.
‘GOOD HEAVENS I’M ARRIVING.’ Thoss91 “Oh Darwin!” SultanSaatana ‘Is it still in vain if the sex is amazing?’ Odin_Thunder
READ MORE
Simply 23 brilliant comebacks to make your day just a little bit better
Source Reddit u/pablodesarasate


thepoke--2020-12-30--‘Yes, Minister’ predicted the Nightingale Hospitals farce in 1981

On Tuesday , it was revealed that the Nightingale hospitals – those rapidly fitted out extra-capacity buildings that sprang up @ @ @ @ @ coronavirus – were being decommissioned .
Twitter ’ s favourite Boris Johnson parody was on @ @ @ @ @ ’ t the only person with thoughts on the enormous waste of money and resources @ @ @ @ @ will have come as no surprise to fans of the political sitcom , Yes , @ @ @ @ @ situation way back in 1981 .
Some things never change .
Here ’ s a @ @ @ @ @ .
This mash-up of BBC News and Yes , Minister perfectly nails the state we @ @ @

Videos
On Tuesday, it was revealed that the Nightingale hospitals – those rapidly fitted out extra-capacity buildings that sprang up during the first wave of coronavirus – were being decommissioned.
Owen Jones summed up the situation.
The Nightingale hospitals – built at vast expense – were a PR stunt by a government which has driven the NHS into the ground. There isn't the staff to operate them – because the Conservatives caused a staffing crisis – and they're now being dismantled as the NHS is overwhelmed. pic.twitter.com/2mXM9CK02B — Owen Jones 🌹 (@OwenJones84) December 28, 2020
Twitter’s favourite Boris Johnson parody was on the case.
Don't think of it as dismantling a hospital, think of it as dismantling a cynical PR exercise that has now served its purpose. pic.twitter.com/kUT6O5ZnAW — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) December 29, 2020
"We built seven Nightingale hospitals by mistake"#NightingaleHospitals pic.twitter.com/Ue2DIQullF — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) December 29, 2020
He wasn’t the only person with thoughts on the enormous waste of money and resources.
What a disgraceful failure. Like so much this government does the Nightingale hospitals were just an expensive PR stunt. Just when we need them most this January there are no staff to operate them because of the NHS staffing crisis the Tories created over the last decade. pic.twitter.com/dWpbh0v0IC — 🌈 Angela Rayner 🌈 (@AngelaRayner) December 28, 2020
They did their job, which is to say ‘they reassured Conservative voters that something was being done.’ https://t.co/XwBk9O2m52 — Michael Moran (@TheMichaelMoran) December 29, 2020
how it started how its going pic.twitter.com/070KierYvz — dave ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) December 28, 2020
People need to stop fretting about the #NightingaleHospitals or the current rate of infection and our capacity to cope with it. We only need to make it to Friday and then £350 million pounds will be pumped into the NHS every single week. — Macca (@McB00merang) December 29, 2020
But the whole story will have come as no surprise to fans of the political sitcom, Yes, Minister, which explained the situation way back in 1981.
Yes Minister foresaw the Nightingale Hospital situation years ago. #NightingaleHospitals
Clip via @NoContextPMQ pic.twitter.com/lUbJ9wk5ul — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) December 29, 2020
Some things never change. Here’s a suggestion from writer Jonathan Coe.
Perhaps, every so often, we should take a minute or two out of our busy schedules and find a quiet space to pause, reflect, and ask ourselves what the actual fuck is going on in this raving madhouse of a country. pic.twitter.com/XUGrtMlsaN — Jonathan Coe (@jonathancoe) December 29, 2020
READ MORE
This mash-up of BBC News and Yes, Minister perfectly nails the state we’re in
Source Parody Boris Johnson Image Screengrab, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-30--This singer set internet spats to music and people can’t stop watching

Canadian singer , Lubalin , makes soulful pop music with an electronic edge and is steadily increasing his following on @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s over on TikTok that he ’ s hitting the big numbers , @ @ @ @ @ perfect platform for his recent , more unusual , creations .
We ’ ve all @ @ @ @ @ platform we use , but Lubalin takes it a step further – by making these @ @ @ @ @ Who would have thought a public argument could be quite so beautiful ?
The New @ @ @ @ @ shared one of his pieces on Twitter .
The video clearly struck a chord with @ @ @ @ @ 400,000 views in just seven hours , as well as more than 10,000 likes .
@ @ @ @ @ had to say about it .
They , and anyone else who enoyed these tasters @ @ @ @ @ TikTok , give Lubalin a follow and never miss another of his gems .
A @ @ @ @ @ recreation is the best possible use of the Time Warp Scan

Videos
Canadian singer, Lubalin, makes soulful pop music with an electronic edge and is steadily increasing his following on Instagram and Facebook.
But it’s over on TikTok that he’s hitting the big numbers, because that’s the perfect platform for his recent, more unusual, creations.
We’ve all seen internet spats on whatever platform we use, but Lubalin takes it a step further – by making these online dramas into songs.
Who would have thought a public argument could be quite so beautiful?
The New Yorker’s Emily Nussbaum shared one of his pieces on Twitter.
The video clearly struck a chord with tweeters, picking up almost 400,000 views in just seven hours, as well as more than 10,000 likes.
Here’s what people had to say about it.
I just watched this five times… I cannot stop https://t.co/7Gv1tV4gUp — Amanda Deibert🏳🌈 (@amandadeibert) December 30, 2020
I'm literally crying at my desk. https://t.co/KewmDliVok — Geraldine (@everywhereist) December 30, 2020
This is absolutely amazing https://t.co/mLQbrm0p2V — Dan Saltzstein (@dansaltzstein) December 30, 2020
Deviant Ollam wanted more.
omg i need so much more of this in my life right now https://t.co/XqzrDyOhjF — Deviant Ollam ツ (@deviantollam) December 30, 2020
They, and anyone else who enoyed these tasters, should head over to TikTok, give Lubalin a follow and never miss another of his gems.
READ MORE
A TikToker’s Jurassic Park recreation is the best possible use of the Time Warp Scan
Source Lubalin Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-30--Boston Dynamics’ Dad dancing robots make as much sense as anything else in 2020

Robotics engineering company , Boston Dynamics , celebrated the end of 2020 in the most 2020 way possible – by @ @ @ @ @ us in yet more areas than before .
They also posted the clip to Twitter @ @ @ @ @ Handle are clearly ready to take over all dad-dancing duties at a wedding near you @ @ @ @ @ allowed again .
Machine Learning expert , Reza Zadeh wanted to know what else they @ @ @ @ @ ’ t the only one .
Here are 14 of the best reactions we spotted @

Videos
Robotics engineering company, Boston Dynamics, celebrated the end of 2020 in the most 2020 way possible – by demonstrating that robots can replace us in yet more areas than before.
They also posted the clip to Twitter.
Our whole crew got together to celebrate the start of what we hope will be a happier year. Happy New Year from all of us at Boston Dynamics. https://t.co/Uys5RMfBqO pic.twitter.com/rY7Xk1BRZN — Boston Dynamics (@BostonDynamics) December 29, 2020
Atlas, Spot and Handle are clearly ready to take over all dad-dancing duties at a wedding near you – if weddings are ever allowed again.
Machine Learning expert, Reza Zadeh wanted to know what else they can do.
It's pretty awesome how dancing makes robots less intimidating. Looking forward to seeing more nontrivial Machine Learning on these robots. Credit: Boston Dynamics. pic.twitter.com/wnB2i9qhdQ — Reza Zadeh (@Reza_Zadeh) December 29, 2020
He wasn’t the only one.
You can stop worrying about Trump now. Or climate change. Or comets. Or spacemen. The end is nigh. https://t.co/7qzmA1iwKE — Walter Shaub (@waltshaub) December 29, 2020
Here are 14 of the best reactions we spotted.
1.
If this is the future of robots, I for one welcome our absolutely talented overlords 😌😌😌
pic.twitter.com/2hAyqGix1c — Paladin Amber (@PaladinAmber) December 30, 2020
2.
*as the robotic Amazon E-Corps Officer Unit reads me my death sentence on the spot for stealing water from the AquaWarehouse and readies its bonesaw aimed at my neck* haha look at him go https://t.co/9eMMbNtU0x — CFO of Theytheon (@Lubchansky) December 29, 2020
3.
Everything about this screams "opening montage of the movie where you explain how it came to be that the robots enslaved us" https://t.co/6eBJPp9z0V — Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) December 29, 2020
4.
Sceptical that Boston Dynamics is even interested in producing robots that actually do stuff. It's essentially a media company specialising in shortform content. https://t.co/vfCNb6LtoZ — Ian Leslie (@mrianleslie) December 29, 2020
5.
Imagine a Boston Dynamics Terminator no-scoping you and then doing the mashed potato on what's left of your face My ghost would throw itself off a bridge https://t.co/tD724XbaJs — Q. Anthony (ɔpɛ asem) (@andraydomise) December 29, 2020
6.
No longer have any emotional reaction to Boston Dynamics videos. Either give them guns or stop wasting my time — henno (@jrhennessy) December 29, 2020
7.


thepoke--2020-12-30--The UK’s Brexit deal references extinct software – 11 technical knockouts

At the time of writing , the oven-ready Brexit deal that turned out to be a vague idea for a @ @ @ @ @ of sourcing the necessary ingredients is due to make its way through parliament , if @ @ @ @ @ the cliff edge of No Deal .
At 1,200 pages , it ’ s clearly @ @ @ @ @ to study the document thoroughly .
So , we shouldn ’ t be surprised if @ @ @ @ @ s too late to amend the legislation .
Issues like this : We can now @ @ @ @ @ civil servant working on the document .
Naturally , tweeters had a lot to say @ @ @ @ @ understandably scathing reactions .
Comedian , Brian Limond – Limmy , had some words of @ @ @ @ @ in themselves .
The UK and EU have agreed an eleventh hour Brexit deal – @ @ @ @

News
At the time of writing, the oven-ready Brexit deal that turned out to be a vague idea for a recipe with very little chance of sourcing the necessary ingredients is due to make its way through parliament, if the UK is to avoid the cliff edge of No Deal.
At 1,200 pages, it’s clearly not going to be possible to study the document thoroughly.
My #Brexit deal will be passed by MPs after allowing enough time to carefully scrutinise the first two paragraphs of the 1,200 page document.#BrexitDeal — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) December 29, 2020
So, we shouldn’t be surprised if issues arise once it’s too late to amend the legislation. Issues like this:
Boris Johnson's Brexit deal refers to 23-year-old software and long out of date cyber securityhttps://t.co/SLcIQwVK0s pic.twitter.com/r809G8GjPi — Mirror Politics (@MirrorPolitics) December 29, 2020
We can now reveal exclusive footage of a civil servant working on the document.
via Gfycat
Naturally, tweeters had a lot to say about it – including these understandably scathing reactions.
1.
Boris, if you don't wind the handle on the side of the phone, no-one will be able to hear you…. https://t.co/BNfaPslXvw — Paul Whitehouse (@PaulWhitehous64) December 29, 2020
2.
Oh no. British and French fishermen will block each other on Friends Reunited. https://t.co/pmohMEHk32 — Richard Littler (@richard_littler) December 29, 2020
3.
did they write the deal on wordperfect? https://t.co/nsdOZL7vPf — Roarz (@Roarzz) December 29, 2020
4.
You've telling me all that money that went on technology lessons with Jennifer Arcuri wasn't good value for the tax payer? https://t.co/YHODey2oK2 — Oisin (@OisinDubai) December 29, 2020
5.
6.
I'm guessing Sir David Frost, lest we forget, our new National Security Adviser, has a Yahoo email and a password that is..'password'. 😬 https://t.co/ng4RlebfmU — Rt Hon Sir Peter Mannion KCB MP (@PeterMannionMP) December 29, 2020
7.
What happens if you try to do a trade deal involving 28 countries in just 10 months? https://t.co/mUYtMUzwMM — Femi😷 (@Femi_Sorry) December 29, 2020
8.
Love the optimism that this is because text was copy & pasted from old documents & not just that this is the only tech we’ll have available from January. https://t.co/xYE17vjB0g — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) December 29, 2020
9.
"Brexit deal typed on Commodore 64"https://t.co/YbR9yXPs0X — Enough Of That Now (@AndyGilder) December 29, 2020
10.
Hearing from a reliable source that the Brexit deal urges Brits to watch out there’s a Humphrey abouthttps://t.co/xrdzJ96lW7 — Mrs Gladys Steptoe (@GladysSteptoe) December 29, 2020
11.
Can’t wait until the Brexit deal goes through so we can get back to asking Jeeves how to create a polyphonic ringtone for our Nokia mobiles. — The Bullshit Translator (@BshitTranslator) December 29, 2020
Comedian, Brian Limond – Limmy, had some words of reassurance for those lacking confidence in themselves.
If you ever have imposter syndrome or generally feel you're not good enough, these are the people who are in charge of running the country, elected by people who would vote for them again. https://t.co/2OQSwvIWKo — Limmy (@DaftLimmy) December 29, 2020
Absolutely terrifying.
READ MORE
The UK and EU have agreed an eleventh hour Brexit deal – the 24 best reactions
Source Media sources, e.g. Mirror Image Ugi K on Unsplash, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-31--These 19 film gifs perfectly express how people feel about the arrival of 2021

For every person counting the seconds until 2020 ends , there ’ s another reminding everyone that January the 1st @ @ @ @ @ – the spoilsports .
The Toronto International Film Festival account came up with a way @ @ @ @ @ feelings about 2021 , with this challenge .
Twitter stepped up .
These gifs – @ @ @ @ @ are simply perfect .

Pics
For every person counting the seconds until 2020 ends, there’s another reminding everyone that January the 1st is still just another day – the spoilsports.
The Toronto International Film Festival account came up with a way for people to share their feelings about 2021, with this challenge.
Your 2021 mood in a film GIF — TIFF (@TIFF_NET) December 30, 2020
Twitter stepped up. These gifs – with their varied perspectives – are simply perfect.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.


thepoke--2020-12-31--Donald Trump Jr said CNN wouldn’t fact check Joe Biden and the comeback was brutal

To the world of Donald Trump Jr , where the outgoing president ’ s son accused CNN of admitting it @ @ @ @ @ Joe Biden as thoroughly as it did Donald Trump when he takes charge of the @ @ @ @ @ president ’ s son shared an interview which he either didn ’ t read or @ @ @ @ @ or wantonly misinterpreted – as proof of his point .
And here ’ s what @ @ @ @ @ .
And CNN ’ s fact checker in chief Daniel Dale – who we ’ @ @ @ @ @ this magnificent fact check of Donald Trump – had the perfect response .
Donald Trump @ @ @ @ @ and it ’ s simply magnificent

Pics
To the world of Donald Trump Jr, where the outgoing president’s son accused CNN of admitting it wouldn’t fact check Joe Biden as thoroughly as it did Donald Trump.
Trump Jr shared this tweet with an excerpt from an article about the media’s coverage of the White House during the Trump years.
https://twitter.com/ComfortablySmug/status/1343937814598184966?s=20
… and this is what Trump Jr said about it.
https://twitter.com/DonaldJTrumpJr/status/1343949033459621889?s=20
And CNN’s fact checker in chief Daniel Dale – who we’ve featured here before with this magnificent fact check of Donald Trump – had the perfect response.
Not at all what I said; no “pivot.” What I said: Since Biden – like every non-Trump Republican in the 2016 field and potential 2024 field! – lies way less frequently than Trump, there’ll be time in the Biden era to *also* fact check others in addition to the president. https://t.co/rptI57OSjQ — Daniel Dale (@ddale8) December 29, 2020
CNN will rigorously fact check President Biden. It’s just objective and obvious fact that it takes less time to fact check basically everyone in politics than it takes to do Trump, a staggeringly incessant liar. If you choose to call me biased for stating that fact, feel free. — Daniel Dale (@ddale8) December 29, 2020
I can’t even count how many days I spent writing stories like “Trump makes 25/30/40 false claims at rally.” That doesn’t happen with Biden – as it doesn’t with McConnell or McCarthy or etc. And so, post-Trump, there’s more time to spend on people other than the prez. The end. — Daniel Dale (@ddale8) December 29, 2020
Consider yourself fact checked, Don Jr.
Dude got fact checked about fact checking — Richard Mann (@RichardAMann) December 29, 2020
READ MORE
Donald Trump was fact checked by CNN and it’s simply magnificent
Source Twitter @ddale8 H/T Indy100


thepoke--2020-12-31--This professor’s brutal message for anyone not wearing a mask is simply devastating

Over on BBC Radio 5 Live , breakfast presenter Rachel Burden interviewed Hugh Montgomery , professor of intensive care at @ @ @ @ @ ’ s going on in his London hospital unit right now .
And his devastating @ @ @ @ @ listening for anyone still refusing to wear a mask ( or planning to do anything @ @ @ @ @ on New Year ’ s Eve ) .
And here are just a few of @ @ @ @ @ about it .
These ‘ socially distanced ’ classic album covers are very cleverly done @ @ @ @ @

Videos
Over on BBC Radio 5 Live, breakfast presenter Rachel Burden interviewed Hugh Montgomery, professor of intensive care at UCL and asked him what’s going on in his London hospital unit right now.
And his devastating response should be made compulsory listening for anyone still refusing to wear a mask (or planning to do anything other than stay at home on New Year’s Eve).
🗣 “Anyone listening to this who doesn’t wear their mask – they have blood on their hands”. Strong words from intensive care professor @hugh_montgomery, who tells @RachelBurden what’s happening in his unit right now. 🎧 Listen @BBCSounds pic.twitter.com/CsWOf7cdjF — BBC Radio 5 Live (@bbc5live) December 31, 2020
And here are just a few of the things people were saying about it.
This was the most shocking interview from the Covid frontline I’ve heard- he sounded at the end of his tether https://t.co/5dhtrgEWRa — Rory Cellan-Jones (@ruskin147) December 31, 2020
‘I’m sick to the back teeth of this virus as well. I want to see my friends and family and hug them, but we can’t. I’m seeing whole families coming in here now, and anyone listening to this who doesn’t wear a mask – they have blood on their hands.’ – an intensive care professor https://t.co/ty1gufYfxu — David Law (@DavidLawTennis) December 31, 2020
Well, this is fairly traumatising. https://t.co/LkxFndEXyR — Tom McTague (@TomMcTague) December 31, 2020
A rather sobering listen. An intensive care professor describes life on the front line. https://t.co/6Odt75IErM — Dan Walker (@mrdanwalker) December 31, 2020
Powerful stuff. Please listen, please share, and please try to get through to a person you know who isn't taking this seriously. https://t.co/WdXIQVzgDg — Russ (@RussInCheshire) December 31, 2020
READ MORE
These ‘socially distanced’ classic album covers are very cleverly done and make their point perfectly
Source @bbc5live


thepoke--2020-12-31--‘Lions don’t wear masks’ wasn’t the brilliant gotcha this anti-masker thought – 9 brutal takedowns

The leader of the Heritage Party – think UKIP 2 : The Revenge – David Kurten is , predictably , @ @ @ @ @ of masks .
He posted this inarguably true statement about lions , which we can @ @ @ @ @ make some sort of point .
We could speculate all day on where he was @ @ @ @ @ we ’ d much rather show you these brilliant responses .

Pics
The leader of the Heritage Party – think UKIP 2: The Revenge – David Kurten is, predictably, opposed to the compulsory wearing of masks.
He posted this inarguably true statement about lions, which we can only presume was meant to make some sort of point.
We could speculate all day on where he was going with that, but we’d much rather show you these brilliant responses.
1.
They also don’t walk round fucking Sainsbury’s, David https://t.co/sreN1FwnUz — Red Sky At Night (@redskyatnight) December 31, 2020
2.
Yes, famously very few lion epidemiologists though David. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 31, 2020
3.
I love a parlour game. I got Anteaters don’t drive tractors https://t.co/qI3Tj18KtG — Craig Deeley  (@craiguito) December 31, 2020
4.
also walk around with their dicks out https://t.co/BmNJGXAFp1 — joe (@mutablejoe) December 30, 2020
5.
They also don’t shop in Lidl, live in cities, or hop on trains. We could do this all day, David. https://t.co/C5W54sxXrF — Mic Wright ☠ (@brokenbottleboy) December 31, 2020
6.
They also eat raw meat and shit outside. Is that what you want? — Dubzky (@adubzky) December 30, 2020
7.
Life expectancy of a lion in the wild, subject to injuries, disease, etc = 10 to 15 years. Life expectancy of a zoo lion, with access to modern medicine & protection from disease = 30 years. https://t.co/9eAxt7N6uc — David Andress (@ProfDaveAndress) December 31, 2020
8.
Ok, ok, in a crowded field, I think I’ve found the dumbest coronavirus take yet. https://t.co/t6fh3r19RP — Dr Clare Clarke (@victorianclare) December 30, 2020
9.
Composer Rou Reynolds had an important update.
Paws. Mane. Space.
READ MORE
Anti-masker takedown of the year
Source David Kurten Image David Kurten


thepoke--2020-12-31--These ‘socially distanced’ classic album covers are very cleverly done and make their point perfectl

These ‘socially distanced’ classic album covers are very cleverly done and make their point perfectly

These classic album covers reimagined for the social distancing age are just fabulous .
They were done by the good @ @ @ @ @ creative agency over in Los Angeles , to reinforce the importance of staying six feet @ @ @ @ @ Here are our favourite 7 done by Activista ( and you can see all of @ @ @ @ @ 6 Feet Covers ’ project over here ) which prompted lots of people to join @ @ @ @ @ their own .
Simply 27 times James Blunt put a smile on our face on @

Pics
These classic album covers reimagined for the social distancing age are just fabulous.
They were done by the good people of Activista, a creative agency over in Los Angeles, to reinforce the importance of staying six feet apart during the pandemic.
Here are our favourite 7 done by Activista (and you can see all of the others in their ‘6 Feet Covers’ project over here) which prompted lots of people to join in with reworked covers of their own.
1. The Beatles, Abbey Road
2. Blondie, Blondie
3. Pet Shop Boys, Actually
4. Queen, Queen II
5. NWA, Straight Outta Compton
6. U2, The Joshua Tree
7. Oasis, What’s The Story (Morning Glory)?
That last one might not be the most dramatic makeover, but it’s definitely the most relatable.
READ MORE
Simply 27 times James Blunt put a smile on our face on Twitter
Source Activista H/T Creative Review


thepoke--2020-12-31--People are planning a very different celebration this New Year’s Eve – 17 of the funniest takes

It ’ s hard to decide whether everything has happened this year – or nothing , as some people have @ @ @ @ @ spring .
With much of the UK and Ireland in or close to lockdown , @ @ @ @ @ like no other , and the post-Christmas week is confusing at the best of times @ @ @ @ @ of Zoom , 2020 is unlikely to make it onto anyone ’ s list of @ @ @ @ @ doubt there ’ ll much controversy when we say that people will be glad to @ @ @ @ @ one .
Nobody can have been surprised to learn that people ’ s plans for @ @ @ @ @ are very different to those they may have had during previous years – even the @ @ @ @ @ some more of our favourite things people have said about it .

Twitter
It’s hard to decide whether everything has happened this year – or nothing, as some people have barely left their homes since spring.
With much of the UK and Ireland in or close to lockdown, this festive season has been like no other, and the post-Christmas week is confusing at the best of times.
This weird limbo bit before New Year’s Eve always confuses me. Am I meant to be drinking or putting a wash on? — Emily Atack (@EmAtack) December 28, 2020
I hate this dull period between Christmas and New Year 2022. — Matt Owen (@MJowen174) December 30, 2020
Apart from the CEO of Zoom, 2020 is unlikely to make it onto anyone’s list of all-time favourite years.
My end-of-year review is just an empty toilet paper tube rolling across the floor on repeat. — Jan·da·līze (@Jandalize) December 29, 2020
We doubt there’ll much controversy when we say that people will be glad to see the back of this one.
I think the only way 2020 could get any more depressing is if at midnight on New Year's Eve all the clocks click over and show it's now 32nd December 2020, and Betty White dies… — Esarty (@esarty) December 28, 2020
Nobody can have been surprised to learn that people’s plans for New Year’s Eve are very different to those they may have had during previous years – even the dreaded 2016.
I’m seriously thinking of going to bed before midnight on New Year’s Eve this year because honestly what’s the point — jack rem x (@jackremmington) December 28, 2020
Here are some more of our favourite things people have said about it.
1.
NYE 2020 NYE 2021 pic.twitter.com/SY8dlzaKBk — Dr. Jennifer Cassidy (@OxfordDiplomat) December 27, 2020
2.
this is how I’m spending new year’s eve pic.twitter.com/3kN879JwMI — غفران (@ghofrunaway) December 27, 2020
3.
Them on New Year’s eve Me pic.twitter.com/3W5vZvX9Hq — Z ⨾ ifb (@CrispyPataNiJun) December 28, 2020
4.
In a few days we will all understand the feeling Lieutenant Dan had on New Year’s Eve of 1972. #NewYear2021 pic.twitter.com/izj12GmGZB — ★ ℎ ★ (@Novemb3rCharli3) December 28, 2020
5.
At least there will be no what are you doing for New Year’s Eve questions this year ♀ — Nadia El Ferdaoussi (@nadia_dailyself) December 22, 2020
6.
does anyone even have new year’s eve plans this year or are we all gonna be sat playing animal crossing — mouse (@ankha_crossing) December 26, 2020
7.
Here’s the answer to all 3 of these questions: What are you doing this weekend? What are you doing for the holidays? What are you doing for New Year’s Eve? pic.twitter.com/q7WdbPwwoD — Clarissa Explains It All ✈ (@Clarissa_Laskey) December 15, 2020
8.
Never in our lifetime has the tradition of watching “Dinner For One” on New Year’s Eve been more painfully perfect than in 2020. — Naomi Seibt (@SeibtNaomi) December 26, 2020
9.


thepoke--2020-12-31--An ISS astronaut in a gorilla suit has gone viral all over again and it’s pure slapstick

Back in 2016 , astronaut Scott Kelly persuaded NASA to let him prank his fellow International Space Station residents with @ @ @ @ @ by his twin brother , Mark .
The only thing that ’ s lacking is @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s some of the best slapstick we ’ ve seen .
And yes @ @ @ @ @ Peake being chased around the ISS by a gorilla .
The clip cropped up again @ @ @ @ @ the story .
With a little mild confusion about the role of Scott ’ s @ @ @ @ @ for the prank .
As Mark Kelly is now the Senator for Arizona , journalist @ @ @ @ @ suggestion .
We ’ d pay good money to see that happen in the House @ @ @ @ @ a pizza party on the International Space Station and you ’ ll never top that

Videos
Back in 2016, astronaut Scott Kelly persuaded NASA to let him prank his fellow International Space Station residents with a gorilla costume smuggled onboard by his twin brother, Mark.
Needed a little humor to lighten up a #YearInSpace. Go big, or go home. I think I'll do both. #SpaceApehttps://t.co/Ift8VdDR4C — Scott Kelly (@StationCDRKelly) February 23, 2016
The only thing that’s lacking is Yakety Sax – otherwise, it’s some of the best slapstick we’ve seen.
And yes – that’s Tim Peake being chased around the ISS by a gorilla.
The clip cropped up again recently, when Goodable shared the story.
Astronaut Mark Kelly once smuggled a full gorilla suit on board the International Space Station. He didn't tell anyone about it. One day, without anyone knowing, he put it on. Hilarity ensued. 😂🚀 pic.twitter.com/nrsmLTOC3U — Goodable (@Goodable) December 29, 2020
With a little mild confusion about the role of Scott’s twin, Twitter went wild for the prank.
Astronaut Mark Kelly once smuggled a full gorilla suit on board the International Space Station. He didn't tell anyone about it. One day — without anyone knowing — he put it on…pic.twitter.com/NdnncK0I4U — Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) December 30, 2020
This is the kind of energy I want to bring to my workplace. https://t.co/ZTayzubSyO — Prey Smelter (@Wildyena) December 30, 2020
2001: A Space Odyssey was more lively than I remembered https://t.co/5QeJAnK88X — Congressman Raja Krishnamoorthi (@CongressmanRaja) December 30, 2020
As Mark Kelly is now the Senator for Arizona, journalist, Henry Brean had a suggestion.
That's actually astronaut Scott Kelly, Mark's twin brother. But that should in no way discourage @CaptMarkKelly from repeating this same stunt in the U.S. Senate. https://t.co/0ZxYl4ShKU — Henry Brean (@RefriedBrean) December 30, 2020
We’d pay good money to see that happen in the House of Commons.
via Gfycat
READ MORE
There was a pizza party on the International Space Station and you’ll never top that
Source Scott Kelly Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-31--An MP celebrated Brexit with his cardboard Margaret Thatcher – our 11 favourite cutting responses

The final step in getting Brexit over the line happened on Wednesday , when the deal legislation passed through parliament @ @ @ @ @ One Conservative MP , Sir David Amess , celebrated with his cardboard Margaret Thatcher – @ @ @ @ @ mean Andrea Leadsom .
There were a couple of problems with his tweet – apart @ @ @ @ @ Here are some of our favourite reactions .
Author and very funny tweeter , Jim @ @ @ @ @ ’ s contribution to the post-Brexit discourse .
People doubt a 10-foot plinth will protect @ @ @ @ @ – our 9 favourite responses

Twitter
The final step in getting Brexit over the line happened on Wednesday, when the deal legislation passed through parliament and received Royal Assent.
One Conservative MP, Sir David Amess, celebrated with his cardboard Margaret Thatcher – and we don’t mean Andrea Leadsom.
There were a couple of problems with his tweet – apart from the glaringly obvious.
She invented the Single Market and liked being at the Top Table so I doubt it David. https://t.co/yDWfo7aNc2 — Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) December 30, 2020
Here are some of our favourite reactions.
1.
A. She would have been a Remainer
B. Heaven? https://t.co/DcQPIdCIVT — Mitch Benn🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@MitchBenn) December 30, 2020
2.
Now brexit is done our Conservative MPs can do what they've wanted to do for years, go to a travel lodge and bang a cardboard cutout of Thatcher. I love our normal country. https://t.co/P1KAxPTgJP — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) December 30, 2020
3.
These people are actually mad https://t.co/7kr7DSvX4m — Jonn Elledge (@JonnElledge) December 30, 2020
4.
5.
This is creepy on about 27 different levels https://t.co/u3YXIPRaMo — Ross McCafferty (@RossMcCaff) December 30, 2020
6.
I’m not saying the Conservative benches are filled with nut jobs, but the MP who told the audience of TV’s Brass Eye that “cake is a made up drug” keeps a laminated, life size figure of Thatcher in his office, so… https://t.co/vMfUSD0eZX — Sharon O'Dea (@sharonodea) December 30, 2020
7.
2021 in science-fiction: Humanoid AI sex robots 2021 in Brexit Britain: Cardboard Sex Thatcher — Michael Moran (@TheMichaelMoran) December 30, 2020
8.
"We didn't really know him. He kept himself to himself. This sort of thing doesn't happen around here"
A neighbour to a TV news reporter. https://t.co/elYjSqyy0U — Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) December 30, 2020
9.
tier 26 is this outside ur front door https://t.co/wImwHZsnZQ — george (@georgialtaylor) December 30, 2020
10.
‘Me, the 13th Duke of Wybourne, in a hotel with my Margaret Thatcher life size cardboard cut out. Are they mad?’ pic.twitter.com/ljVxq9W2cT — Briala Sparris (@BrianSpanner1) December 30, 2020
11.
Mrs Thatcher campaigned vigorously to join the EU, publicly stated she thought it would be disastrous to leave it, and would I think have thought it disturbing that anyone would want to keep a life-size cut out of her in his home for God only knows what purpose. https://t.co/Z2EAl1cpNN — Tim Walker (@ThatTimWalker) December 30, 2020
Author and very funny tweeter, Jim Felton summed up Sir David’s contribution to the post-Brexit discourse.
Easily the most deranged Brexit tweet, slid in at the last second for the win https://t.co/rIUyKBc9HY — James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 30, 2020
READ MORE
People doubt a 10-foot plinth will protect the new Margaret Thatcher statue – our 9 favourite responses
Source Sir David Amess Image Sir David Amess


thepoke--2020-12-31--This musician was mocked by men for wearing a Metallica T-shirt and her blistering response hit all

This musician was mocked by men for wearing a Metallica T-shirt and her blistering response hit all the right notes

When it comes to stuffing the haters ’ words right back in their mouths , it doesn ’ t come much better than this .
It ’ s musician and singer Zaria Joyner , who was trolled by men after wearing a Metallica T-shirt in a couple of her videos on TikTok .
One commenter challenged her to name at least three Metallica songs , presumably because he couldn ’ t get his head round the idea that she might actually be a genuine Metallica fan .
So Zaria did this and it was perfect .
And just in case @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Oh go on then , one more .
“ I decided to respond to that comment because I ’ ve been a Metallica fan for such a long time but I ’ d never showed that side of me on TikTok .
I ’ ve been a self-taught guitarist since 15 and Metallica was the band that influenced me to pick it up and inspired my journey with music.
” And it even caught the attention of the band themselves .
Winona Ryder ’ s tale of how she took delicious revenge on @ @ @ @ @ @ @ over again

Videos
When it comes to stuffing the haters’ words right back in their mouths, it doesn’t come much better than this.
It’s musician and singer Zaria Joyner, who was trolled by men after wearing a Metallica T-shirt in a couple of her videos on TikTok.
One commenter challenged her to name at least three Metallica songs, presumably because he couldn’t get his head round the idea that she might actually be a genuine Metallica fan.
So Zaria did this and it was perfect.
Boom.
And just in case anyone was still in any doubt.
@zariasmusic Reply to @paytonnsmith you’re a troll lil man the whole point was whether or not I knew any Metallica songs not whether or not I could play them on 🎸 ♬ original sound – Zaria
Oh go on then, one more.
Presumably that’s settled it.
Here’s what Zaria told the Daily Dot.
“I decided to respond to that comment because I’ve been a Metallica fan for such a long time but I’d never showed that side of me on TikTok. I’ve been a self-taught guitarist since 15 and Metallica was the band that influenced me to pick it up and inspired my journey with music.”
And it even caught the attention of the band themselves.
Last word to Zaria.
READ MORE
Winona Ryder’s tale of how she took delicious revenge on this school bully has gone viral all over again
Source TikTok @zariasmusic H/T Indy100


thepoke--2020-12-31--Winona Ryder’s tale of how she took delicious revenge on this school bully has gone viral all over a

Winona Ryder’s tale of how she took delicious revenge on this school bully has gone viral all over again

It ’ s a few years – 20 , apparently – since Winona Ryder told this tale of how she @ @ @ @ @ bully and it ’ s just gone viral all over again .
It was shared @ @ @ @ @ said : ‘ Winona Ryder suffers no fools.
’ She told the bullying story to @ @ @ @ @ August 2000 issue of Harper ’ s Bazaar , ’ according to Str33twise84 .
‘ @ @ @ @ @ let ’ s kick them out they won ’ t get bullied anymore.
’ bluetortoise54 @ @ @ @ @ the time .
Not just for bullying , but rape , racism etc .
Always @ @ @ @ @ “ weak ” party than address the issue .
Frankly , I intend to teach @ @ @ @ @ and instill the idea that you never start a fight , but you damned well @ @ @ @ @ I wonder if the school hit her up for a donation once she got famous.
@ @ @ @ @ said CNN wouldn ’ t fact check Joe Biden and the comeback was brutal

Popular
It’s a few years – 20, apparently – since Winona Ryder told this tale of how she took revenge on a school bully and it’s just gone viral all over again.
It was shared on Reddit by Str33twise84 who said: ‘Winona Ryder suffers no fools.’ It contains a highly offensive homophobic slur.
Boom.
She told the bullying story to journalist Henry Alford in the August 2000 issue of Harper’s Bazaar,’ according to Str33twise84.
‘Brilliant! I’ve always liked her.’ kaptain_kangarooo ‘Hmmm kid getting bullied well let’s kick them out they won’t get bullied anymore.’ bluetortoise54 ‘Happens to victims all the time. Not just for bullying, but rape, racism etc. Always easier to blame the perceived “weak” party than address the issue. Frankly, I intend to teach my kid how to punch and instill the idea that you never start a fight, but you damned well finish it.’ Certain-Title ‘I wonder if the school hit her up for a donation once she got famous.’ LocalInactivist
READ MORE
Donald Trump Jr said CNN wouldn’t fact check Joe Biden and the comeback was brutal
Source Reddit u/Str33twise84


thepoke--2020-01-30--An employer shared this candidate’s excruciating text exchange but it turned out all right in the en

An employer shared this candidate’s excruciating text exchange but it turned out all right in the end

We ’ re not sure if she was over-sharing or under-checking her autocorrect , but either way this was more @ @ @ @ @ to end your text exchange with a potential employer .
It was shared by @ @ @ @ @ @ well , here goes .
If we had to guess , we ’ d suggest @ @ @ @ @ shit ’ .
Sorry , ‘ shift ’ .
Anyway , all ’ s well @ @ @ @ @ it was a double win because apparently it was also a very satisfying poo .

Twitter
We’re not sure if she was over-sharing or under-checking her autocorrect, but either way this was more than a mildly excruciating way to end your text exchange with a potential employer.
It was shared by @GavinCurnow on Twitter and, well, here goes.
If we had to guess, we’d suggest she meant to say ‘shit’. Sorry, ‘shift’.
“i might be here a while, it isn’t going well. I’ve got a sweat on and my leg braced against the door” — BlackTopMedia (@BlackTopMediaUK) January 23, 2020
I’ll be taking this to an industrial tribunal. I texted you in good faith — Mrs Gladys Steptoe (@GladysSteptoe) January 24, 2020
Anyway, all’s well that ends well.
Reader, I employed her 😆 https://t.co/1eMAUikBDe — Gavin Curnow (@GavinCurnow) January 29, 2020
Such directness and honesty is to be desired in an employee. — My name is Declan (@DeclanChellar) January 29, 2020
And it was a double win because apparently it was also a very satisfying poo.
READ MORE
20 essential job interview tips
Source Twitter @GavinCurnow Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-01-30--Simply 7 funny things people said about the Nigel Farage portrait unveiled by Nigel Farage and Jim D

Simply 7 funny things people said about the Nigel Farage portrait unveiled by Nigel Farage and Jim Davidson

It ’ s Brexit Eve so perhaps we shouldn ’ t be surprised that Nigel Farage has just unveiled a @ @ @ @ @ .
The painting ’ s called ‘ Mr Brexit ’ – of course it is @ @ @ @ @ there to mark the occasion , ensuring that the day before the UK leaves the @ @ @ @ @ Brexit .
It prompted lots of very funny comments on Twitter , of which these @ @ @ @ @ Brexit Party pulled a last-day stunt in the European Parliament – 13 scathing takedowns

Pics
It’s Brexit Eve so perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised that Nigel Farage has just unveiled a portrait of … Nigel Farage.
The painting’s called ‘Mr Brexit’ – of course it is – and Jim Davidson was there to mark the occasion, ensuring that the day before the UK leaves the European Union really was peak Brexit.
Nigel Farage has just unveiled a portrait of himself entitled "Mr Brexit". Jim Davidson is now giving a speech to mark the occasion. Happy Brexit everyone pic.twitter.com/dCDnfqywwt — Michael Deacon (@MichaelPDeacon) January 30, 2020
It prompted lots of very funny comments on Twitter, of which these are our favourites.
1.
whenever Jim Davidson is about to say something racist, Brian May appears on one shoulder advising him against it and Farage appears on the other goading him on pic.twitter.com/1R4MZCY2Ru — BRYN_BORANGA (@BRYN_BORANGA) January 30, 2020
2.
Surely we can have just *one* day when satirists are given a chance to be funnier than reality. https://t.co/DBdHrjSrdX — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) January 30, 2020
3.
The lies seem to follow you around the room https://t.co/6UEDQ161an — Michael Hogan (@michaelhogan) January 30, 2020
4.
“The first thing I want to say is that this is *not* a pyramid scheme…” — Giant Hand Guy (@GiantHandGuy) January 30, 2020
5.
6.
should be called "The Tosser" https://t.co/vjqQtYTNMr — Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) January 30, 2020
7.
This painting really is distasteful pic.twitter.com/MeMtL6zTy3 — Summer Ray (@SummerRay) January 30, 2020
To conclude …
Another normal day in this totally normal country. https://t.co/IGAWHm6AIb — James Doleman (@jamesdoleman) January 30, 2020
READ MORE
The Brexit Party pulled a last-day stunt in the European Parliament – 13 scathing takedowns
H/T Twitter @MichaelPDeacon


thepoke--2020-01-30--It’s Brexit Eve so here are 7 favourite tweets marking the day before the UK leaves the European Uni

It’s Brexit Eve so here are 7 favourite tweets marking the day before the UK leaves the European Union

Only one day to go before the UK leaves the EU – you can almost taste the excitement , we @ @ @ @ @ agree – and naturally lots of people are talking about it on Twitter .
Some @ @ @ @ @ excitement .
Others … less so .
Here are 7 tweets that caught our eye @ @ @ @ @ interests of balance and all that .
The Brexit Party pulled a last-day stunt in @ @ @ @ @ scathing takedowns

Twitter
Only one day to go before the UK leaves the EU – you can almost taste the excitement, we’re sure you will agree – and naturally lots of people are talking about it on Twitter.
Some people are simply feverish with excitement. Others … less so. Here are 7 tweets that caught our eye.
1.
'Twas the night before Brexit,
And all through the land,
The gammons were cheering,
Anything ‘foreign’ was banned. Farage was there preening,
The EU he did goad,
When he flashed his union jack socks,
Jacob Rees-Mogg shot his load.#BrexitEve — (@pearlylondon) January 30, 2020
2.
3.
'Twas the night before Brexit and all through the house
Nigel Farage sat gurning like a Rothman's stained louse
Mumbling 'Up yours, Delors' and 'Bye-bye, Espana'
Tugging himself raw over pics of Britannia' #BrexitEve — Karl Minns (@karlminns) January 30, 2020
4.
Have a lovely #BrexitEve and don’t forget to leave your stocking out tonight. Good boys and girls will get up in the morning and find it jam packed with sovereignty. — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) January 30, 2020
5.
If that knobhead tries to make me wear a bloody union jack tomorrow night, I swear to god i'm gonna bite him.#brexiteve #BrexitDay pic.twitter.com/nM1FLsxpyD — Dilyn The Downing Street Dog (@DilynThe) January 30, 2020
6.
https://twitter.com/ThePoke/status/1222828964890189825?s=20
7.
I'm so excited to be getting my new tea towel I know I just won't sleep tonight! #BrexitEve — Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) January 30, 2020
And just in the interests of balance and all that.
https://twitter.com/HHepplewhite/status/1222829213293719552?s=20
READ MORE
The Brexit Party pulled a last-day stunt in the European Parliament – 13 scathing takedowns


thepoke--2020-01-30--5 favourite responses after Katie Hopkins was finally suspended by Twitter

In a world which isn ’ t necessarily overflowing with good news , here ’ s a little bit to @ @ @ @ @ Hopkins has been suspended from Twitter .
Hopkins has been temporarily locked out of her @ @ @ @ @ site ’ s hateful-conduct policy [ banning ] the promotion of violence or inciting harm @ @ @ @ @ , religion , national origin or gender identity ’ .
There was only one tweet @ @ @ @ @ which was looking even sorrier today than it normally does , and it felt entirely @ @ @ @ @ 5 favourite responses today .
Oh , and this .
Someone pointed out why this @ @ @ @ @ so much more accurate than she thought and it ’ s perfect

Twitter
In a world which isn’t necessarily overflowing with good news, here’s a little bit to cheer you up. Katie Hopkins has been suspended from Twitter.
Hopkins has been temporarily locked out of her account ‘for violating the site’s hateful-conduct policy [banning] the promotion of violence or inciting harm on the basis of race, religion, national origin or gender identity’.
There was only one tweet left on her Twitter feed which was looking even sorrier today than it normally does, and it felt entirely appropriate.
Here are our 5 favourite responses today.
1.
Katie Hopkins Twitter account has been suspended. Today is going to be a good day. — Freddie (@FreddieBailey96) January 30, 2020
2.
Thank you @Twitter re the mass deletion of Katie Hopkins’ offensive tweets. Faith in humanity and social media restored 🙂 — Nitin Sawhney (@thenitinsawhney) January 30, 2020
3.
https://twitter.com/LeftWingHope/status/1222662669976645633?s=20
4.
Another one of Trump’s favorite twitter accounts suspended. Soon he’ll only have bots and his large adult children to re-tweet. https://t.co/0u1dk51SDM — Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) January 30, 2020
5.
Oh, and this.
Katie Hopkins reacts to the news that her Twitter account has been suspended.
[sound up] pic.twitter.com/bETcPfWwwy — The Poke (@ThePoke) January 30, 2020
READ MORE
Someone pointed out why this Katie Hopkins’ tweet was so much more accurate than she thought and it’s perfect


thepoke--2020-01-31--Just 14 nice things that made us smile this week

Our weekly round up of some nice things we saw this week .
16 nice things we ’ ve seen @ @ @ @ @ feel good inside

Twitter
Our weekly round up of some nice things we saw this week.
1.
No matter how many times I watch this video, it makes me laugh every single time.
[sound up] pic.twitter.com/rfpjWXmXvH — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) January 27, 2020
2.
LOOK AT MY AXOLOTLS RIGHT NOW pic.twitter.com/diZsQCxrF6 — Rat (@oceanratVEVO) January 23, 2020
3.
I needed this today. pic.twitter.com/jLG3RbNaEZ — Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) January 27, 2020
4.
He done changed the game pic.twitter.com/HQR3605zVt — (@rahm3sh) January 25, 2020
5.
6.
7.
Patrick Stewart insisted on having a pit bull as Picard’s dog because he’s committed to rehabilitating their image. Kudos!!! pic.twitter.com/rbwb7m8UYc — cat benatar (@feliskathryn) January 26, 2020
8.
Let me tell you about my best friend pic.twitter.com/CqPoyGFrZ3 — viralvideos (@BestVideosviral) January 27, 2020
9.
Caracal sees himself in the mirror for the first time pic.twitter.com/ReB4qjSx4I — Nature & Animals (@AnimalsWorId) January 25, 2020
10.
Cuddle puddle pic.twitter.com/ItigIWv7JZ — cute n squishy (@_Cute_n_Squish) January 27, 2020
11.
12.
Making his way downtown pic.twitter.com/1Gyof5uTIL — The Human Experience Podcast (@thehumanxp) January 28, 2020
13.
Chonky floof cloud living his best life! pic.twitter.com/jS8srdZmMl — Woof Woof® (@WoofWoof_TV) January 24, 2020
14.
Good morning from Biscuit ✨ pic.twitter.com/w7GqWOFOHh — spacegirl incognito (@iamspacegirl) January 27, 2020
READ MORE
16 nice things we’ve seen this week that made us feel good inside


thepoke--2020-01-31--This dad tackled his son’s wrestling opponent after an outrageous illegal move and it’s quite someth

This dad tackled his son’s wrestling opponent after an outrageous illegal move and it’s quite something

Wrestling now , and this dad who intervened on his son ’ s behalf after his opponent did an outrageous @ @ @ @ @ eye stage right .
‘ This isn ’ t quite as adorable as that girl @ @ @ @ @ when he thought his sister ’ s wrestling match was a real fight.
’ SevenSixFiveFourrr @ @ @ @ @ ‘ Half of all boxing photos look like gay weddings ’

Videos
Wrestling now, and this dad who intervened on his son’s behalf after his opponent did an outrageous illegal move.
Keep your eye stage right.
Boom!
‘This isn’t quite as adorable as that girl’s younger brother intervening when he thought his sister’s wrestling match was a real fight.’ SevenSixFiveFourrr
Oh yes. This!
READ MORE
‘Half of all boxing photos look like gay weddings’
Source Reddit u/jafetsoto


thepoke--2020-01-31--25 of the funniest things from this week

It ’ s been quite the week for news .
The Brexit Party ruined their reputation for good manners and @ @ @ @ @ and applauding an insulting speech from Farage , the World Health Organisation declared the Coronavirus @ @ @ @ @ and Mrs Brown ’ s Boys won another comedy award .
The jury is still @ @ @ @ @ is the worst .
While all that was going on , Twitter carried on being @ @ @ @ @ our 25 favourite things .

Twitter
It’s been quite the week for news. The Brexit Party ruined their reputation for good manners and even handedness by waving flags and applauding an insulting speech from Farage, the World Health Organisation declared the Coronavirus a global health emergency, and Mrs Brown’s Boys won another comedy award.
The jury is still out on which of those is the worst.
While all that was going on, Twitter carried on being funny, and these were our 25 favourite things.
1.
2.
My wife thinks I over-analyse our marriage, which, to be frank completely contradicts the findings of my report. — Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) January 27, 2020
3.
Quick question: Is it "for fucks sake" or "for fuck sake" ? It's for a work email so has to sound professional. — Tachyon: (@Tachyon100) January 27, 2020
4.
Went to the ER because “my legs have turned blue and Web MD says I have deep vein thrombosis.” Was this it? The big one? No! I have the “dumbass who doesn’t wash his new jeans before wearing them” disease and I would like to be executed immediately. — Mark (@MShrayber) January 25, 2020
5.
Some people are so marginalised they have to create the language that describes their oppression, but the real victim is me, who has to learn a new word every 6 months — Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) January 30, 2020
6.
Wow I love Enya pic.twitter.com/xnCZKxW9Qt — Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) January 23, 2020
7.
ATTENTION mcr FANS I accidentally bought My Chemical Romance tickets on the same day I’m supposed to get married and they cost me $200. If anyone wants to go take my place for FREE it’s going to be at the St Immanuel’s church her name is Karen she’s 5’2 super nice girl — pj (@givingeulogies) January 26, 2020
8.
yeah piss off tim pic.twitter.com/d9TIeKZwiO — ✨ curse of count chocula ✨ (@lucyamorris) January 27, 2020
9.
Who needs a relationship now that gmail finishes sentences off for you — Shappi Khorsandi (@ShappiKhorsandi) January 28, 2020
10.
uh it's called a guitar pic.twitter.com/WI2aNGIeol — phil (@PhilJamesson) January 27, 2020
11.
My nearly three year old has mentioned opening up a mobile nail bar and I feel that if I’m to get behind her then the least I could do is drum up some interest on here. See where it takes her. She’s got great chat, an eye for colour & this only cost me £1. DM me if interested. pic.twitter.com/oeuC0N3qLA — Catriona McNicol (@CatrionaMcNicol) January 26, 2020
12.


thepoke--2020-01-31--There was a not entirely subliminal message about Brexit in this Guardian cryptic crossword

This cryptic crossword in the Guardian had a not entirely subliminal message about Brexit .
‘ Subtle from Guardian , @ @ @ @ @ Twitter .
It ’ s not from today ’ s paper , we hasten to @ @ @ @ @ Finish a Jigsaw Puzzle

Pics
This cryptic crossword in the Guardian had a not entirely subliminal message about Brexit.
‘Subtle from Guardian,’ said @MrRemain on Twitter.
It’s not from today’s paper, we hasten to add.
READ MORE
Best Way to Finish a Jigsaw Puzzle
Source Twitter @MrRemain


thepoke--2020-01-31--Aldi’s Instagram posts all line up to make one big picture and it’s an oddly satisfying watch

It turns out if you take all of Aldi ’ s Instagram posts they all line up together to make one very big picture and there are two things that strike us about this .
One – it ’ s a rather satisfying watch .
And two – how the hell did they do it ?
Oh go on then .
Three – why bother ?
Here ’ s what people made of it on Reddit .
‘ I ’ d really like to know the logistics of how they did that .
I mean , were they all done @ @ @ @ @ @ @ really good planning and photo editing or what .
Just very curious.
’ pdgenoa ‘ I also think they might be shopping the new photos in on a giant canvas which they then slice for the actual posts.
’ Dopium_Typhoon ‘ It ’ s done on photoshop , you make a big canvas and break it down into quads and then slice the photos around when you want to add one and include items that overlap like an onion or flowers .
Then you have the illusion of well planned photos.
’ GRang3r @ @ @ @ @ @ @ but very rarely does each image work by its self too .
Usually they ’ re more filler ones for the big picture .
This really nails it.
’ v_3005 ‘ If you ever wondered what $ 38 of food looks like at Aldi.
’ 20CharacterLimitOnly

Pics
It turns out if you take all of Aldi’s Instagram posts they all line up together to make one very big picture and there are two things that strike us about this.
One – it’s a rather satisfying watch. And two – how the hell did they do it?
Oh go on then. Three – why bother?
Here’s what people made of it on Reddit.
‘I’d really like to know the logistics of how they did that. I mean, were they all done at once, or is this just really good planning and photo editing or what. Just very curious.’ pdgenoa ‘I also think they might be shopping the new photos in on a giant canvas which they then slice for the actual posts.’ Dopium_Typhoon ‘It’s done on photoshop, you make a big canvas and break it down into quads and then slice the photos around when you want to add one and include items that overlap like an onion or flowers. Then you have the illusion of well planned photos.’ GRang3r ‘A lot of pages do this but very rarely does each image work by its self too. Usually they’re more filler ones for the big picture. This really nails it.’ v_3005 ‘If you ever wondered what $38 of food looks like at Aldi.’ 20CharacterLimitOnly
READ MORE
The Perils of Supermarket Shopping
Source Reddit u/dxn_ielll


thepoke--2020-01-31--Spy in the Wild’s animatronic bear is a lot funnier than it should be

The BBC ’ s nature programme Spy in the Wild is filmed partly through the “ eyes ” of animatronic @ @ @ @ @ in the hope of capturing close-up shots because they ’ re less threatening than an @ @ @ @ @ s a good look at the baby gorilla spy .
One hidden camera , however @ @ @ @ @ attention for the wrong reasons .
One clip , shared by Elly-Mae Gadsby , demonstrated @ @ @ @ @ problem with the fake bear .
We tip our hats to all involved , but @ @ @ @ @ that ’ s a wonderful bit of accidental comedy right there .

Videos
The BBC’s nature programme Spy in the Wild is filmed partly through the “eyes” of animatronic creatures placed near real animals in the hope of capturing close-up shots because they’re less threatening than an obvious camera.
Our current series Spy in the Wild, showing on BBC1 from Wednesday 22nd January, 9pm. So many awesome moments, angles and stories of the greatest animal gatherings on the planet, enjoy#spyinthewild #bbc #wildlife #wildlifefilm #nature #bbcnature #robswildadventures pic.twitter.com/V1rbMRQIua — robswildadventures (@robswildadvent1) January 26, 2020
Here’s a good look at the baby gorilla spy.
This is so great. And I love that they designed the gorilla spy so that it can avert its gaze. In the wild, if you want to be close to gorillas who have been habituated to humans, a key part of staying safe is to always avert your gaze so they don't feel threatened. pic.twitter.com/ArPuByBTZV — Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) January 25, 2020
One hidden camera, however, caught people’s attention for the wrong reasons.
Spy in the Wild on BBC in brilliant. Clearly they’re using a relative of Nookie Bear… pic.twitter.com/UTQdoS5KRc — JCE1967 (@ceciljames67) January 29, 2020
The bear looks like Nookie Bear 😂 pic.twitter.com/tXiwbyZCCe — Sarah Graham (@sarahgraham_art) January 29, 2020
Watching “Spy in the Wild” and when I see Spy Bear this is the only thing going through my mind. pic.twitter.com/oQ8pgUXCUD — Paul Russell (@PaulRuss2012) January 29, 2020
@scott_mills @Chris_Stark you need to check out the robotic bear found half way through spy in the wild. Funniest thing ever — Keara (@keara_elizabeth) January 29, 2020
One clip, shared by Elly-Mae Gadsby, demonstrated better than anything the hilarious problem with the fake bear.
This made the girl child and me laugh. A lot. pic.twitter.com/tPSTI8jY1x — Elly-Mae Gadsby (@EGadsby) January 30, 2020
We tip our hats to all involved, but even they must admit that that’s a wonderful bit of accidental comedy right there.
Source Elly-Mae Gadsby Image BBC, Twitter


thepoke--2020-01-31--This restaurant charges customers each time they ask a stupid question and it’s every waiter’s dream

Here ’ s something they should definitely think about introducing over here .
An extra charge that gets added to @ @ @ @ @ time you ask a stupid question .
Think of the questions – and the time @ @ @ @ @ .
The restaurant ’ s called Tom ’ s Diner – not that one , @ @ @ @ @ t think so – in Boston and here ’ s what it does .
So @ @ @ @ @ s not the only thing people like about the restaurant ’ s menu .
There @ @ @ @ @ just a few of the things people were saying about it .
It looks like @ @ @ @ @ are on somebody ’ s last nerve

Pics
Here’s something they should definitely think about introducing over here. An extra charge that gets added to your bill in restaurants every time you ask a stupid question.
Think of the questions – and the time! – it would save.
The restaurant’s called Tom’s Diner – not that one, well, we don’t think so – in Boston and here’s what it does.
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And in close-up …
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These people paid the price.
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So did these.
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It’s not the only thing people like about the restaurant’s menu. There was also this.
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And just a few of the things people were saying about it.
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It looks like this restaurant’s customers are on somebody’s last nerve
Source BoredPanda


thepoke--2020-01-31--Simply 17 stupid questions people have an annoying habit of asking introverts

Here ’ s a handy guide not what to ask if you ’ re with an introvert .
And if @ @ @ @ @ here are 17 questions people ask that will have you nodding your head , muttering @ @ @ @ @ ’ s 17 very stupid questions people ask introverts , after the hashtag went viral @ @ @ @ @ picked up by the good people of BoredPanda .

Twitter
Here’s a handy guide not what to ask if you’re with an introvert. And if you are an introvert, here are 17 questions people ask that will have you nodding your head, muttering ‘yup’.
It’s 17 very stupid questions people ask introverts, after the hashtag went viral on Twitter and they were picked up by the good people of BoredPanda.
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thepoke--2020-01-31--This guy trying to lift himself up in a bucket did not do the maths

Just a guy trying to lift himself up in a bucket .
He ’ s thought a bit of it @ @ @ @ @ of it through .
‘ Edit : apparently this is a common thing that many @ @ @ @ @ and I now know a prank for my future children.
’ bozzy253 ‘ I knew @ @ @ @ @ wrong , I never thought it ’ d be this.
’ _tv_lover_

Just a guy trying to lift himself up in a bucket. He’s thought a bit of it through. Just not ALL of it through.
He’s still there, apparently.
‘I’m honestly surprised for some reason.
‘Edit: apparently this is a common thing that many of you discovered early on… and I now know a prank for my future children.’ bozzy253
‘I knew something was gonna go wrong, I never thought it’d be this.’ _tv_lover_


thepoke--2020-01-31--The special pricing structure of this cinema is a brilliant lesson in manners

Although most of us go to the big chain cinemas , whose pricing structures are set in stone by some @ @ @ @ @ establishments can charge whatever they think appropriate – or inappropriate .
Reddit user Ryno3639 has @ @ @ @ @ list from an independent cinema , and we ’ d love the big guys to @ @ @ @ @ agent : “ Sir , I see your mobile phone is on , that ’ @ @ @ @ @ for your ticket.
” Me : “ Damn , movies sure used to be a @ @ @ @ @ : “ Sir , for saying that your ticket is now only $ 15.00.
” @ @ @ @ @ £50 surcharge for rattling sweet packets and chewing loudly , that would be just perfect @ @ @ @

Pics
Although most of us go to the big chain cinemas, whose pricing structures are set in stone by some faceless corporate suits, independent establishments can charge whatever they think appropriate – or inappropriate.
Reddit user Ryno3639 has shared this wonderfully sassy price list from an independent cinema, and we’d love the big guys to adopt this attitude.
Redditors imagined some scenarios.
Ticket agent: “Sir, I see your mobile phone is on, that’ll now be $51.76 for your ticket.” Me: “Damn, movies sure used to be a lot cheaper.” Ticket agent: “Sir, for saying that your ticket is now only $15.00.” hacklinuxwithbeer
“I’ve learned a lot as a student of life” netfatality “You just learned you just increased the price. 20 bucks, please” Leinad97_45
“I see you’re a student of Sun Tzu, it’ll be 17.5$, sir” Leinad97_45
If someone would add a £50 surcharge for rattling sweet packets and chewing loudly, that would be just perfect, thank you.
Source r/ChoosingBeggars Image r/ChoosingBeggars, @kristsll on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-01-31--Little Fenn Rosenthal’s brilliant Dinosaurs In Love now has a cool animation

On Thursday , we shared with you a song , created and sung by nearly-four-year-old Fenn Rosenthal , daughter of @ @ @ @ @ Rosenthal .
The clip of Dinosaurs In Love , shared by her dad , went @ @ @ @ @ by Australian news programme , The Project , who clearly loved it , because they @ @ @ @ @ to make this : WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO TO US ?
As if @ @ @ @ @ enough already .
Still – pretty cool to have a professionally made animation of the @ @ @ @ @ ’ re still only three .
Tom has yet to comment on the animation , @ @ @ @ @ was in progress , but this is what other people have been saying about it @ @ @ @ @ needs us , we ’ ll be over here sobbing our hearts out .

Videos
On Thursday, we shared with you a song, created and sung by nearly-four-year-old Fenn Rosenthal, daughter of singer-songwriter and musician, Tom Rosenthal.
The clip of Dinosaurs In Love, shared by her dad, went viral, and was spotted by Australian news programme, The Project, who clearly loved it, because they got super-fast animator Michael Carella to make this:
Upon hearing the song ‘Dinosaurs in Love’ which was written by 3-year-old Fenn Rosenthal, we loved it so much we decided to make it a music video!
Find the original tweet by her dad Tom @tomrosenthal#TheProjectTV pic.twitter.com/3gYvcJkai9 — The Project (@theprojecttv) January 30, 2020
WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO TO US? As if it weren’t heartbreaking enough already. Still – pretty cool to have a professionally made animation of the song you wrote when you’re still only three.
Tom has yet to comment on the animation, other than to mention it was in progress, but this is what other people have been saying about it.
Oh 💔. The song alone was making my eyes well, now this! — Rebecca Webber (@eckym) January 31, 2020
Omg, that ending. And in her 3y/o voice, it's sounds so sad dude!!
@theydidntsaygoodbye https://t.co/ttwKMc9KHF — Girlgerms🇦🇺🇭🇰 (@boygerms23) January 31, 2020
The most wholesome song ever and it makes you happy and sad at the same time. 10/10 best song 2020 https://t.co/Y8f10bEcvs — BlkButterfly (@oneblkbutterfly) January 30, 2020
An Australian science account had thoughts.
Up next from Pursuit: did dinosaurs feel love and did they prefer cucumber or fruit? #dinosaursinlove https://t.co/Xz6ll4dWkG — Science at Melbourne (@SciMelb) January 31, 2020
Now, if anybody needs us, we’ll be over here sobbing our hearts out.
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This 3-year-old’s Dinosaur Love Song is hilariously brutal
Source The Project Image The Project


thepoke--2020-01-31--“Hold my hand and let’s jump off this cliff” by Brian Bilston

Brian Bilston is the much-admired unofficial Poet Laureate of Twitter .
In the past , he ’ s shared – @ @ @ @ @ on : And the rise of Boris Johnson .
As Brexit looms , his latest @ @ @ @ @ Perfect .
Here are a few of the many bitter-sweet reactions .
There were also @ @ @ @ @ Rob Thomas .
You can read more of his work in his new book , @ @ @ @ @ https : //www.panmacmillan.com/authors/brian-bilston/diary-of-a-somebody/9781529005561 Other book outlets are available .
This poem by Brian Bilston says @ @ @ @ @ feeling about the Daily Mail

Popular
Brian Bilston is the much-admired unofficial Poet Laureate of Twitter. In the past, he’s shared – among many more – poems on:
The Fibonacci Sequence
I wrote a poem in a tweet but then each line grew to the word sum of the previous two until I began to worry about all these words coming with such frequency because as you can see, it can be easy to run out of space when a poem gets all Fibonacci sequency#FibonacciDay — Brian Bilston (@brian_bilston) November 23, 2019
Donald Trump
THE WHITE HOUSE He’s redecorating the White House
in washed-out tones of white:
Pale Shimmer, Frosted Dawn,
Sour Milk and Clouded Light. Bleached Lichen in the kitchen.
Upstairs, White Mist is the plan.
Pure White in the Oval Office,
painted by the Du Lux Klan. — Brian Bilston (@brian_bilston) July 18, 2019
And the rise of Boris Johnson.
BREAKING NEWS Just in …
the news is broken. I shall put it
in the bin. The state of things.
The new PM. Pass the whiskey.
Pass the gin. — Brian Bilston (@brian_bilston) July 23, 2019
As Brexit looms, his latest piece seemed curiously apt.
Here’s a poem called ‘Hold my hand and let’s jump off this cliff’. pic.twitter.com/JcqzJ4E6Ui — Brian Bilston (@brian_bilston) January 30, 2020
Perfect. Here are a few of the many bitter-sweet reactions.
One of your finest. But a shame that it has come to this…. 😦 — kaggsy59 (@kaggsy59) January 30, 2020
This is perfect but makes me want to weep! — Lorna Gamberini 🕷 (@LornaGamberini) January 30, 2020
There were also these words of comfort from Rob Thomas.
Hold hands everybody. It will probably* be fine** https://t.co/hEfVGR662m — Rob Thomas (@RobThomas14) January 30, 2020
via Gfycat
You can read more of his work in his new book, Diary of a Somebody. https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/brian-bilston/diary-of-a-somebody/9781529005561 Other book outlets are available.
READ MORE
This poem by Brian Bilston says what we’re all feeling about the Daily Mail
Source Brian Bilston Image Brian Bilston, @andyjh07 on Unsplash