thepoke--2020-10-09--People love this tale of Paul Heaton’s generosity towards Q magazine after it shut

Long-running music magazine Q published its final issue after 34 years in the summer .
We only mention this because @ @ @ @ @ lovely post-script shared by the mag ’ s final editor , Ted Kessler .
It @ @ @ @ @ Housemartins and Beautiful South fame – trending on Twitter today and this is why .
@ @ @ @ @ ’ s just a flavour of the love it generated on Twitter today .
Spare @ @ @ @ @ who came second in this dog drawing competition

Twitter
Long-running music magazine Q published its final issue after 34 years in the summer. We only mention this because its closure had a rather lovely post-script shared by the mag’s final editor, Ted Kessler.
It sent Paul Heaton – of Housemartins and Beautiful South fame – trending on Twitter today and this is why.
1.
We had the Roundhouse booked for two nights for the Q Awards next week. We didn’t have talent sorted when we had to Covid cancel in April, but Nadine Shah was presenting and the two gigs were Liam Gallagher one night, Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott the other. — Ted Kessler (@TedKessler1) October 9, 2020
2.
The only award we knew for sure was to Paul Heaton, as we’d heard he’d never won one. Think of all the brilliant songs he’s written for The Housemartins, Beautiful South etc. Millions of records sold. No Q award (or Brit) for his songwriting. So we knew he’d be Classic Songwriter — Ted Kessler (@TedKessler1) October 9, 2020
3.
Then, a few days after Q closed, we got a message from him saying that to thank Q for all the support we’d given him over 35 years, he was going to donate a large sum to thank us in our turmoil. Obviously, I politely declined. — Ted Kessler (@TedKessler1) October 9, 2020
4.
He was insistent. I accepted the donation and shared it amongst over 40 staff and freelancers working for Q at the time, all of whose minds – like mine – were blown. It really was the most amazingly kind, selfless, generous act. For some, it meant a bill could be paid. — Ted Kessler (@TedKessler1) October 9, 2020
5.
We got him that award in the end. Britain’s greatest living pop star. A true legend. pic.twitter.com/7zJ7O3U7RI — Ted Kessler (@TedKessler1) October 9, 2020
Beautifully done! And here’s just a flavour of the love it generated on Twitter today.
It's happy hour again! Thanks for sharing this, and for many lost hours spent reading Q — DT (@Mytweetspeeps) October 9, 2020
Bumped into him at Glastonbury a few years back and he was so nice, a real gent and so fucking talented. Often criminally ignored at award ceremonies. — GAV 🏳🌈 🏴 (@simsyg) October 9, 2020
I love this. When I was first getting (obsessively) into The Beautiful South, I think I must have read Q's 'Fancy! He's the blooming king of pop!' cover story about 10 times. You always gave him the respect he deserved, and I'm so pleased he continues to be worthy of it — Sophie Bane (@SophieBane) October 9, 2020
That is an amazing story Ted! read the interview with Paul earlier in the year where it was pointed out he had never won an award….I as praying he would get recognised this year…..this story proves you dont need awards when you are a wonderful human being..thanks for sharing — Beatin' Rhythm MCR (@_BeatinRhythm) October 9, 2020
READ MORE
Spare a thought for the person who came second in this dog drawing competition
Source @TedKessler1


thepoke--2020-10-09--Tinder fail of the week

Tinder fail of the week

The latest in an occasional series of peeks behind the curtain of Tinder ( we ’ re not on it @ @ @ @ @ we definitely wouldn ’ t be any good at it ) .
This guy did @ @ @ @ @ end up in a situation like this , but he still ended up in a @ @ @ @ @ as shared by juliaisnothere over on Reddit .
If you listen really , really carefully @ @ @ @ @ screaming .
“ Why is this in your bio ?
” “ So people don @ @ @ @ @ time.
” Proceeds to waste time on the exact reason why it ’ s there @ @ @ @ @ ZDarkAngelXVI “ You ’ re not tall enough for me , sorry.
” “ Thank @ @ @ @ @ if someone states their height in their bio and it ’ s not a height @ @ @ @ @ , why even swipe right ?
’ SinisterPixel

Weird World
The latest in an occasional series of peeks behind the curtain of Tinder (we’re not on it but if we were, we definitely wouldn’t be any good at it).
This guy did everything he could not to end up in a situation like this, but he still ended up in a situation precisely like this, as shared by juliaisnothere over on Reddit.
If you listen really, really carefully you can still hear him screaming.
“Why is this in your bio?” “So people don’t have to waste time.” Proceeds to waste time on the exact reason why it’s there in the first place. ZDarkAngelXVI “You’re not tall enough for me, sorry.” “Thank god.” atehate ‘JFC if someone states their height in their bio and it’s not a height you’re cool with, why even swipe right?’ SinisterPixel ‘To shame the short dude.’ swordsumo
READ MORE
Simply 12 funny exchanges on Tinder
Source Reddit u/juliaisnothere


thepoke--2020-10-09--Spare a thought for the person who came second in this dog drawing competition

Congratulations to the winner of this dog drawing competition , but – seriously – spare a thought for the poor @ @ @ @ @ It went viral after it was shared on Reddit by Stock_Hutz .
‘ The second @ @ @ @ @ shading .
Rookie mistake.
’ MooseJoose21 ‘ The 1st place winner , at a glance @ @ @ @ @ ’ s drawing , but when you look at it a little longer you can @ @ @ @ @ it.
’ ericacrass This snowball fight from 1896 colourised and speed adjusted is an amazing @

Pics
Congratulations to the winner of this dog drawing competition, but – seriously – spare a thought for the poor mutt who came second.
It went viral after it was shared on Reddit by Stock_Hutz.
‘The second place winner could improve on shading. Rookie mistake.’ MooseJoose21
‘The 1st place winner, at a glance, looks like a child’s drawing, but when you look at it a little longer you can tell that an adult drew it.’ ericacrass ‘Yeah, a child wouldn’t draw a dog’s massive cock.’ iagoto
Vox populi, vox diaboli.
READ MORE
This snowball fight from 1896 colourised and speed adjusted is an amazing watch
Source Reddit u/Stock_Hutz


thepoke--2020-10-09--This Republican senator suffered an unfortunate Facebook fail showing her support for Mike Pence

To America , where this Republican senator was only too keen to show her support for vice president Mike Pence @ @ @ @ @ Kamala Harris .
Unfortunately it didn ’ t go entirely to plan .
So much @ @ @ @ @ ‘ generic ’ bit in , obviously , the response , or maybe this … @ @ @ @ @ not even the worst thing Kelly Loeffler has done on social media this week .
@ @ @ @ @ Harris telling Mike Pence he ’ s got a fly on his head is just @ @

Popular
To America, where this Republican senator was only too keen to show her support for vice president Mike Pence after his TV debate with Kamala Harris.
Unfortunately it didn’t go entirely to plan.
So much to enjoy. Leaving the ‘generic’ bit in, obviously, the response, or maybe this …
There’s a lot to love there, but I think my favourite bit is she posted it to Facebook. — Sean Murricane (@SeanMurricane) October 9, 2020
Unbelievably, it’s not even the worst thing Kelly Loeffler has done on social media this week.
READ MORE
This musical remix of Kamala Harris telling Mike Pence he’s got a fly on his head is just brilliantly done
Source Twitter @soapachu


thepoke--2020-10-10--‘I put googly eyes on my VR glasses and let my grandparents try them out’

Very possibly the single most joyous picture we ’ ve seen this week .
‘ I put googly eyes on @ @ @ @ @ my grandparents try them out , ’ said MadJoeMak over on Reddit .
‘ Reminds @ @ @ @ @ from pans labyrinth.
’ shaven_craven ‘ I zoomed in on the bottom right hand picture @ @ @ @ @ hard and for so long that my girlfriend ended up in hysterics too and had @ @ @ @ @ was okay .
I had to take my jumper off o got so hot from @ @ @ @ @ you OP , that ’ s absolutely made my week.
’ stealingbiscuits

Very possibly the single most joyous picture we’ve seen this week.
‘I put googly eyes on my VR glasses and let my grandparents try them out,’ said MadJoeMak over on Reddit.
‘Reminds me of the pale man from pans labyrinth.’ shaven_craven
‘I zoomed in on the bottom right hand picture and ended up laughing so hard and for so long that my girlfriend ended up in hysterics too and had to ask me if I was okay. I had to take my jumper off o got so hot from laughing so much. Thank you OP, that’s absolutely made my week.’ stealingbiscuits
‘Adding googly eyes to my shopping cart …’ Maxwyfe


thepoke--2020-10-10--Comeback of the week

Comeback of the week

We hadn ’ t come across DeAnna Lorraine before and now we ’ ve had the stone cold good fortune @ @ @ @ @ in a week .
First up the podcaster and one time Republican candidate for Congress @ @ @ @ @ a fearless firebrand for America ’ s future !
’ – had a think about @ @ @ @ @ And she got entirely the responses she deserved .
Well , you get the idea @ @ @ @ @ been pondering whether Trump catching Covid-19 could be viewed as , well , you ’ @ @ @ @ @ for yourself .
Seth Rogen spoke for lots of us .
But the winner surely @ @ @ @ @ This Republican senator suffered an unfortunate Facebook fail showing her support for Mike Pence

Twitter
We hadn’t come across DeAnna Lorraine before and now we’ve had the stone cold good fortune to stumble across her twice in a week.
First up the podcaster and one time Republican candidate for Congress – ‘How to be a fearless firebrand for America’s future!’ – had a think about politics and the coronavirus.
And she got entirely the responses she deserved.
(via Reddit)
(via Reddit)
Well, you get the idea. She’s also been pondering whether Trump catching Covid-19 could be viewed as, well, you’d better have a read for yourself.
Seth Rogen spoke for lots of us.
(via Reddit)
But the winner surely has to be this.
(via Reddit)
Boom.
READ MORE
This Republican senator suffered an unfortunate Facebook fail showing her support for Mike Pence
Source Reddit u/Zorane_


thepoke--2020-10-10--This tale of revenge at a McDonald’s drive thru is magnificently done

Revenge is a dish best served … at a McDonald ’ s drive thru .
Well , kind of .
@ @ @ @ @ tale of revenge after a driver behind this guy in the queue complained he was @ @ @ @ @ order .
‘ Outstanding move , ’ said u/Infinix_007 who shared it over on Reddit @ @ @ @ @ boss didn ’ t believe she was sick and her revenge was glorious

Popular
Revenge is a dish best served … at a McDonald’s drive thru. Well, kind of.
Anyway, we enjoyed this tale of revenge after a driver behind this guy in the queue complained he was taking too long with his order.
‘Outstanding move,’ said u/Infinix_007 who shared it over on Reddit.
READ MORE
This woman’s boss didn’t believe she was sick and her revenge was glorious
Source Reddit u/Infinix_007


thepoke--2020-10-10--Conspiracy theorist of the week

Conspiracy theorist of the week

The latest in an occasional series , conspiracy theorist of this particular week wasn ’ t even close .
‘ @ @ @ @ @ , ’ said DerangedBeaver who shared it over on Reddit .
Hear that little tinkling @ @ @ @ @ the scales falling from our eyes .
‘ We have the technology to clone adults @ @ @ @ @ planet ?
’ wewillallend ‘ Obviously global warming is another bit of socialist dem fake @ @ @ @ @ Or .
That doesn ’ t look like him because he ’ s sick….. pale @ @ @ @ @ ’ t have his hair and Makeup crew with him.
’ jayteadee This coronavirus conspiracy @ @ @ @ @ hatter ’ s greatest hits

Weird World
The latest in an occasional series, conspiracy theorist of this particular week wasn’t even close.
‘Reminder: These people vote,’ said DerangedBeaver who shared it over on Reddit.
Hear that little tinkling sound? That’s the scales falling from our eyes.
‘We have the technology to clone adults but cant save the fucking planet?’ wewillallend ‘Obviously global warming is another bit of socialist dem fake news!’ DerangedBeaver ‘Or. That doesn’t look like him because he’s sick….. pale, tired and he doesn’t have his hair and Makeup crew with him.’ jayteadee
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This coronavirus conspiracy theory is like a tinfoil hatter’s greatest hits
Source Reddit u/DerangedBeaver


thepoke--2020-10-10--This 3D billboard in a Chinese shopping mall is next level stuff

This is mightily impressive , a 3D billboard in China that is so next level you ’ ll be ducking @ @ @ @ @ get on board .
No matter how many times you watch it , never gets @ @ @ @ @ it 3D , tho ?
Or a screen that looks 3D from only one view @ @ @ @ @ the rest is deformed AF ?
’ ghueber ‘ The right part of the screen @ @ @ @ @ the building .
Which is why it looks like 3d in this specific angle.
’ @

Videos
This is mightily impressive, a 3D billboard in China that is so next level you’ll be ducking. And asking you can get on board.
It’s in Chengdu, apparently, and no matter how many times you watch it, it never gets less impressive.
‘Major Back to the Future 2 vibes.’ massacrefuffles ‘Is it 3D, tho? Or a screen that looks 3D from only one view point, while seen from the rest is deformed AF?’ ghueber ‘The right part of the screen is made to look like the building. Which is why it looks like 3d in this specific angle.’ Mielornot
READ MORE
Simply 7 weird optical illusions to blow your mind
Source YouTube H/T Reddit u/DrCalFun


thepoke--2020-10-11--This National Lottery Policy Draw savagely parodies the government’s Covid-19 rules

If we didn ’ t know Simon Brodkin had posted this , we could probably be convinced that it was @ @ @ @ @ the Department of Pretending to Follow the Science While Actually Just Screwing Over the Poor @ @ @ @ @ s called .
It certainly makes as much sense as any explanation we ’ ve @ @ @ @ @ Boris Johnson .
Scott Roughton spoke for most people with this comment .
Simon had @ @ @ @ @ Simon Brodkin ’ s coronavirus statement is a lot more believable than Matt Hancock ’ @

Videos
If we didn’t know Simon Brodkin had posted this, we could probably be convinced that it was an actual method used by the Department of Pretending to Follow the Science While Actually Just Screwing Over the Poor – or whatever it’s called.
How Britain picks its coronavirus policies #lockdown pic.twitter.com/8TB4CPqxhw — Simon Brodkin (@SimonBrodkin) October 10, 2020
It certainly makes as much sense as any explanation we’ve heard from Matt Hancock or Boris Johnson.
Absolute genius this! 🤣😂 — Dave Seed ™ (@dave_seed) October 10, 2020
Pretty accurate tbf 😅 https://t.co/UanWyDMgot — Brad Dolman (@brad_dolman) October 11, 2020
Scott Roughton spoke for most people with this comment.
I don’t know why I play this game…I always lose. — Scott Roughton🇪🇺 (@scottroughton) October 10, 2020
Simon had the only reasonable answer.
Only Captain Tom and Joe Wicks are winning atm — Simon Brodkin (@SimonBrodkin) October 10, 2020
READ MORE
Simon Brodkin’s coronavirus statement is a lot more believable than Matt Hancock’s
Source Simon Brodkin Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-11--This brilliant mash-up of Mike Pence’s Fly with The Ring works far better than it should

Days after the vice-presidential debate , people are still talking about two things from the night – and neither of @ @ @ @ @ said .
There is , of course , all the times Kamala Harris stopped the @ @ @ @ @ with a stern “ I ’ m speaking ” .
Mostly , however , they @ @ @ @ @ about the Fly .
Yes , it deserves to be capitalised , because it ’ @ @ @ @ @ , it ’ s the Fly .
It has its own Twitter account .
And @ @ @ @ @ jokes .
But if you were thinking the fly deserved more of a horror-themed homage @ @ @ @ @ right , because film producer Jason Blum married the footage of Pence ’ s humiliation @ @ @ @ @ – and not the one you ’ d expect .
And because somebody had to @ @ @ @ @ remix of Kamala Harris telling Mike Pence he ’ s got a fly on his @ @ @ @ @

Videos
Days after the vice-presidential debate, people are still talking about two things from the night – and neither of them are anything Mike Pence said.
There is, of course, all the times Kamala Harris stopped the VP from talking over her with a stern “I’m speaking”.
Idc if you like, love, or hate Kamala Harris. When she said, “Mr. Vice President, I’m speaking”, after Pence interrupted her… THATS the kind of energy we all need. Not just in a political debate but also in every day life. — samwich (@samozi13) October 10, 2020
Mostly, however, they’re still going on about the Fly. Yes, it deserves to be capitalised, because it’s not just a fly, it’s the Fly.
It has its own Twitter account.
Wait guys how long do flies live? — Pence's Fly (@MichaelsFly) October 10, 2020
Snapchat has made a filter.
Did y’all on Snapchat see they wasted no time in creating a Pence hair fly filter, or as snap calls it, a “lens” pic.twitter.com/0UVoH3Gc2Z — Elise Hu (@elisewho) October 8, 2020
And there are still plenty of jokes.
Mike Pence is such an opportunist His new book the Fly That Loved Me is nearing print — Roadrunner (@BeeepBeeep33) October 10, 2020
Mike Pence walks into a bar (with Mother's permission, of course).
Bartender says "Hey! I keep a clean place here! You can't drag that kinda shit in here!"
The fly says "I tried to get him off, but he's stuck to my feet!" — Nick A (@Nickyboy63) October 10, 2020
But if you were thinking the fly deserved more of a horror-themed homage, you’d be right, because film producer Jason Blum married the footage of Pence’s humiliation with a very scary movie – and not the one you’d expect.
Perfect. Twitter thought so, too.
Alright, this is the best thing I’ve seen all day. https://t.co/Fz9mmevBx2 — Rach 🔪😘 (@RachaelKHarper1) October 9, 2020
Your (and my) fly jokes end now. We played, we lost. https://t.co/02o2NNA6Ju — AlienWCerny (@AlanWCerny) October 9, 2020
And because somebody had to say it …
This is Blummin’ amazing. https://t.co/xpYYcWcIOA — Nick de Semlyen (@NickdeSemlyen) October 9, 2020
READ MORE
This musical remix of Kamala Harris telling Mike Pence he’s got a fly on his head is just brilliantly done
Source Jason Blum Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-11--People are struggling to take the Clandestine Channel Threat Commander seriously – 12 very public ta

People are struggling to take the Clandestine Channel Threat Commander seriously – 12 very public takedowns

Brexit has crushed Priti Patel ‘ s hopes of France doing all the heavy lifting to keep the English Channel @ @ @ @ @ .
However , the Home Office still needs to be seen to be addressing the @ @ @ @ @ they ’ ve whipped into a frenzy with statements like these : A veritable Frankenstein @ @ @ @ @ issues , stitched together to create the world ’ s biggest dog-whistle .
Instead of @ @ @ @ @ getting endangered people to the UK under supervision , they have invented the role of @ @ @ @ @ which sounds like something Tom Cruise might play in his next film but very little @ @ @ @ @ to help anyone .
This self-introduction from the appointee did nothing to dampen those suspicions @ @ @ @ @ , got to the heart of the matter .
History lecturer , James E. Baldwin @ @ @ @ @ .
While barrister Jessica Simor asked the question on many people ’ s minds .
@ @ @ @ @ , but these people were – mostly .

Twitter
Brexit has crushed Priti Patel‘s hopes of France doing all the heavy lifting to keep the English Channel free of would-be asylum seekers.
However, the Home Office still needs to be seen to be addressing the issue to placate the people they’ve whipped into a frenzy with statements like these:
Yesterday we returned 14 dangerous Foreign National Offenders, who broke our rules & abused our values, to Lithuania. Our efforts to return those who arrived via illegally-facilitated routes were frustrated by legal claims. Our asylum system is broken but we're making it fairer. pic.twitter.com/y267ilrUs8 — Home Office (@ukhomeoffice) October 9, 2020
A veritable Frankenstein’s monster of different issues, stitched together to create the world’s biggest dog-whistle.
Instead of creating a safe mode of getting endangered people to the UK under supervision, they have invented the role of Clandestine Channel Threat Commander, which sounds like something Tom Cruise might play in his next film but very little like someone who is going to help anyone.
This self-introduction from the appointee did nothing to dampen those suspicions.
via Gfycat
Journalist, Ian Dunt, got to the heart of the matter.
Hi Dan! Your job title is so preposterous it's honestly hard to believe it's real. If you really cared about refugees or Britain's reputation, you'd lobby for safe routes into the country and an efficient, humane asylum system. But instead you've done Mission Impossible cosplay. https://t.co/J0XbnvDIZX — Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) October 10, 2020
History lecturer, James E. Baldwin took the point still further.
You've got this tough-sounding title but actually your job is to harass rubber dinghies full of frightened children — James E. Baldwin (@james_e_baldwin) October 10, 2020
While barrister Jessica Simor asked the question on many people’s minds.
Serious question: is this a joke? https://t.co/pW7ECNfq0T — Jessica Simor QC (@JMPSimor) October 9, 2020
He wasn’t joking, but these people were – mostly.
1.
Is this Thunderbird 6? https://t.co/MTMkcsNI7Z — Siob, Princess of Yorkshire #FBPE #FBPEGlobal #FBR (@Sillyshib) October 10, 2020
2.
I am Dan O'Mahoney, Clandestine Channel Threat Commander, tosser in a made up job, lacky to a racist Home Secretary and I will make a dick of myself in this life or the next. https://t.co/3bJAGyTJc2 — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 10, 2020
3.
4.
sounds great but maybe change the name to Clandestine Undercover National Threat Sergeants https://t.co/LV25luT9Ov — Nish Kumar (@MrNishKumar) October 10, 2020
5.
Ooh hark at you, the fascist Octonauts. https://t.co/VsW7l93RyD — Joe Barton (@JoeBarton_) October 10, 2020
6.


thepoke--2020-10-12--Buzz Aldrin’s takedown of this moon landing denier went into orbit all over again and it’s a very sa

Buzz Aldrin’s takedown of this moon landing denier went into orbit all over again and it’s a very satisfying watch

This clip of Buzz Aldrin taking down – really taking down – this moon landing denier has gone viral all @ @ @ @ @ s a very satisfying watch .
It ’ s not new , as you ’ @ @ @ @ @ but happened back in 2002 when Aldrin was a mere 72 years old .

Videos
This clip of Buzz Aldrin taking down – really taking down – this moon landing denier has gone viral all over again and it’s a very satisfying watch.
It’s not new, as you’ll probably already know, but happened back in 2002 when Aldrin was a mere 72 years old.
Buzz Aldrin lands one on the loon. pic.twitter.com/V42afDWu06 — Showbiz Chimp (@ShowbizChimp) October 12, 2020
This whole flat Earth thing could be easily debunked by Discovery putting some flat earthers in a boat and sailing them round the Equator. It would be reality TV gold. — Optimistic Pessimist (@dnky27) October 12, 2020
Buzz Aldrin you gangster pic.twitter.com/40ZeGeh2g5 — Rob Harvey ✊ (@robharvey5) October 12, 2020
I don't normally condone violence, but dude was asking for that. — ❤6 Impossible Things 🇳🇿🌈☕🍰 (@Rtmiss) October 12, 2020
“Why don’t you swear on Bible Buzz Aldrin you walked on the moon!” Lib Loon “Will you get out of here, we’ll CALL THE POLICE!” Buzz “You’re a coward, a liar & a thief!” Lib Loon Buzz SOCKA-PUNCH THE LOON in his face! Retweet That YOU STAND WITH BUZZ! @POTUS @realDonaldTrump pic.twitter.com/KeHwEdTKtn — Oliver McGee PhD MBA (@OliverMcGee) July 20, 2019
And while we’re talking Buzz Aldrin …
Never get bored of Buzz Aldrin's face 😂 https://t.co/es9Q1cer5E — 🔴Phil Smyth (twitch.tv/philsmythmusic) (@philsmythguitar) October 12, 2020
READ MORE
Author James Felton triggered Trump’s Space Force with a joke
Source @plinketyplink2 YouTube


thepoke--2020-10-12--How BT Sport marked Black History Month is a knockout facepalm

Over to BT Sport , where the channel was keen to take a moment to discuss Black History Month .
@ @ @ @ @ and sat next to him is multiple former world champion , David Haye .
And @ @ @ @ @ day , the week and … the year ?
No wonder it went so viral @ @ @ @ @ few of the things people were saying about it .
This hilarious compare and contrast @ @ @ @ @ Obama has gone viral all over again

Videos
Over to BT Sport, where the channel was keen to take a moment to discuss Black History Month.
The presenter is Paul Dempsey and sat next to him is multiple former world champion, David Haye.
And it wins facepalm of the day, the week and … the year? Seriously, keep watching.
Absolutely floored by that. No wonder it went so viral. Here are just a few of the things people were saying about it.
Did M Night Shyamalan write this plot twist because holy fuck https://t.co/j6KXohC5VU — Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) October 10, 2020
I’ve watched this 5 times in a row and I’m still in shock, but howling as well. — Derek Cooper (@cooperderek) October 10, 2020
No one better placed?? The man sitting right next to you!! Is this a comedy show from the 1980’s of some kind? 😔 https://t.co/YRQi6CDeKL — Tony Bellew (@TonyBellew) October 11, 2020
Was really not expecting "Steve Bunce" — Martin S (@supsterjnr) October 10, 2020
It's like a comedy sketch… 😂 — Soctty123 (@Soctty123) October 10, 2020
Alan Partridge couldn’t have pulled this off better … https://t.co/gbLlY8LNF0 — William Crawley (@williamcrawley) October 11, 2020
Looooooooool steve?! I thought they were going to let David get his moment😭😭 what in the world — UNCLE (@Kings_A1) October 10, 2020
You, me, and literally everyone else watching! — Tom Craze (@TomCraze) October 10, 2020
To conclude …
Are you fucking kidding me? https://t.co/bgIwmNC6n2 — Andrew Gaffney (@GaffneyVLC) October 10, 2020
And this.
READ MORE
This hilarious compare and contrast of Donald Trump and Barack Obama has gone viral all over again
Source @TomCraze


thepoke--2020-10-12--This heart-stopping cookery demo set to ‘Gangnam Style’ has gone viral for good reason

This is something we ’ d definitely file under ‘ Don ’ t try this at home ’ , even @ @ @ @ @ enough to swing a wok .
Since being shared on Twitter less than three days @ @ @ @ @ has had more than 8.5 million views .
This is what people have been saying @ @ @ @ @ to take our hats off to ThatsNotHowAnyOfThisWorks , who came up with this impressive pun @ @ @ @ @ kind of recklessness isn ’ t exactly unfamiliar .
This man cooking nachos to Tears @ @ @ @ @ is the saddest video of all time

Videos
This is something we’d definitely file under ‘Don’t try this at home’, even if your kitchen is big enough to swing a wok.
Since being shared on Twitter less than three days ago, the heart-stopping clip has had more than 8.5 million views.
Me making supernoodles after coming home at 4am hammered pic.twitter.com/tph250JDiI — Sarah with a H (@Hinder_Surprise) October 9, 2020
This is what people have been saying about it.
how tf is everyone so calm watching this like it's normal https://t.co/EXVhPyI80o — Extra Gravy Podcast (@ThatDudeMCFLY) October 10, 2020
I wonder how many times she had to do a trial run before she worked out how now to fling hot stir-fry into the front row’s faces… — Michael Moran (@TheMichaelMoran) October 10, 2020
Isn't this how everyone cooks? https://t.co/dVytLCaKKW — Mark Kolpack (@MarkKolpack) October 11, 2020
Needs a bloopers reel. — Vitaliy Jüterbog🎭 (@J_Imagineering) October 11, 2020
We have to take our hats off to ThatsNotHowAnyOfThisWorks, who came up with this impressive pun.
Someone could die noodlessly. Sorry…it had to be said. — 🌊ThatsNotHowAnyOfThisWorks (@INLGiveAF) October 11, 2020
To conclude – this kind of recklessness isn’t exactly unfamiliar.
The people standing close to her watching this must be the same people that went to the COVID rally at the White House today. — Individual 1 (@DennisonDavey) October 10, 2020
READ MORE
This man cooking nachos to Tears for Fears’ Mad World is the saddest video of all time
Source YouTube H/T @Hinder_Surprise Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-12--This government ‘retraining’ ad didn’t entirely read the room – 17 en pointe takedowns

Chancellor Rishi Sunak copped no end of flak last week after he appeared to suggest that people in the arts @ @ @ @ @ other jobs ’ in the wake of the pandemic .
His quotes were taken slightly @ @ @ @ @ was talking about employment generally , not specifically about the arts – so the government @ @ @ @ @ not to give the same impression again .
So it must surely be a different @ @ @ @ @ this ad which went viral today .
It ’ s not a totally brand new @ @ @ @ @ deaf one .
And these takedowns are all totally en pointe .

Twitter
Chancellor Rishi Sunak copped no end of flak last week after he appeared to suggest that people in the arts should ‘retrain and find other jobs’ in the wake of the pandemic.
His quotes were taken slightly out of context – he was talking about employment generally, not specifically about the arts – so the government is presumably trying doubly hard not to give the same impression again.
So it must surely be a different ‘HM Government’ behind this ad which went viral today.
It’s not a totally brand new ad, just a tone deaf one.
Sadly this is real and yes it stinks. But it’s also just one of a series. Clearly poor marketing at the current time. Someone needs to read the room! #SaveTheArts pic.twitter.com/J5mIXLRXtH — Nathan Amzi (@theamzi) October 12, 2020
And these takedowns are all totally en pointe.
1.
This is Fatima, she loves to dance. She should get behind a fucking desk. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 12, 2020
2.
TBH, if ballerina Fatima DOES end up crushing all her dreams to work in Cyber, I hope she's the one who notices they're using a version of Excel from 2003 and that it will fuck up the whole trace-and-trace campaign #getintherefatima — Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) October 12, 2020
3.
Not that you need me to point this out but if you have a burning desire to be creative and to work in the arts, do NOT rethink, reskill or reboot. Just keep fucking going. — Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) October 12, 2020
4.
Hi @RishiSunak. What if Fatima doesn’t want to work in Cyber? What if she’d rather continue working in a career that she’s, no doubt, given years of her life to? How about the Government realises that the industry she already belongs to is profitable, viable & world beating? pic.twitter.com/TTZ9p7uuSR — Robert Jackson (@Rob_G_Jackson) October 12, 2020
5.
Fatima’s next job could be in Cyber. Fatima’s next job could be starting the revolution to overthrow a society so broken that capitalism and profits are more important than passion and arts. Fatima’s going to fuck you up. — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) October 12, 2020
6.
Hope Fatima's Dr Who audition goes well.
Either way, she already works in a profession that contributes hugely to the UK's economy, international reputation and collective mental health during a crisis.
She & all her colleagues deserves support rather than being patronised. pic.twitter.com/aSufb2J2v3 — John Byrne (@dearjohnbyrne) October 12, 2020
7.
I hope Fatima installs ransomware on all their computers. — Kit Lovelace (@kitlovelace) October 12, 2020
8.
TERMINATOR : PAS DE DEUX The Terminator is sent back in time to save a troubled production of Swan Lake. He MUST stop Fatima leaving and accidentally founding Skynet – but can he fix her fouettés in time for first night without blowing up the Opera House? — Piers Torday (@PiersTorday) October 12, 2020
9.


thepoke--2020-10-12--This hilarious compare and contrast of Donald Trump and Barack Obama has gone viral all over again

It ’ s been a little while since Jimmy Kimmel shared this compare and contrast of Donald Trump and Barack @ @ @ @ @ gone viral all over again and it ’ s well worth 90 seconds of your @ @ @ @ @ Trump announcing the death of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi last year , put together @ @ @ @ @ address announcing the death of al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden .
It went viral @ @ @ @ @ added viewer reaction , which is either makes it even better or is totally redundant @ @ @ @ @ of view .
Either way , we can surely all agree with this response to @ @ @ @ @ American visitor shared the 42 weirdest things about the British people and they ring very @ @ @

Videos
It’s been a little while since Jimmy Kimmel shared this compare and contrast of Donald Trump and Barack Obama but it’s gone viral all over again and it’s well worth 90 seconds of your time.
It’s Trump announcing the death of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi last year, put together with Obama’s 2011 address announcing the death of al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden.
And it’s brilliant.
We mashed up @BarackObama’s Bin Laden speech with @RealDonaldTrump’s al-Baghdadi speech, and the results are amazing pic.twitter.com/Z8yfxSYWLd — Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) October 29, 2019
It went viral all over again with this added viewer reaction, which either makes it even better or is totally redundant, depending on your point of view.
whoever is responsible for this deserves a medal pic.twitter.com/3VpJ1PAFht — Kevin Hague (@kevverage) October 10, 2020
Either way, we can surely all agree with this response to the original video.
What do you call the emotion when you wanna laugh and cry at the same time? Asking for a friend. — SodapopCurtis (@sasser826) October 29, 2019
READ MORE
An American visitor shared the 42 weirdest things about the British people and they ring very, very true
Source @jimmykimmel


thepoke--2020-10-12--The Thomas the Tank Engine theme played on cellos is the absolute banger you didn’t know you needed

Cellist Samara Ginsberg ‘ s multi-tracked performances have been an unexpected benefit of the coronavirus restrictions .
Samara ’ s @ @ @ @ @ trip down Memory Lane – or memory ’ s tracks , perhaps .
Here it @ @ @ @ @ if that ’ s how you like your serving of culture .
It went down @ @ @ @ @ d expect – which is to say , brilliantly .
Because we can , we @ @ @ @ @ March from Star Wars – played by Darth Vader , apparently .
She must sit @ @ @ @ @ the string section .
The Super Mario Bros theme played on cellos ( and an @ @ @ @ @ absolute joy

Videos
Cellist Samara Ginsberg‘s multi-tracked performances have been an unexpected benefit of the coronavirus restrictions.
Past highlights have included Jurassic Park and Knight Rider.
Jurassic Park…. What could possibly go wrong? pic.twitter.com/XcgInWVAbe — Samara Ginsberg (@samaracello) September 15, 2020
Knight Rider – had quite a few requests for this one and no wonder because it's a total banger pic.twitter.com/7C6Gq6Kn5u — Samara Ginsberg (@samaracello) May 23, 2020
Amazing, right?
Samara’s most recent offering is this trip down Memory Lane – or memory’s tracks, perhaps.
Here it is in tweet form – if that’s how you like your serving of culture.
Thomas The Tank Engine – absolute banger for those of us of a certain age. Party like it's 1989! pic.twitter.com/RjEZLnKCSz — Samara Ginsberg (@samaracello) October 9, 2020
It went down as well as you’d expect – which is to say, brilliantly.
Of all the things that I didn't know I needed in my Friday evening, this is up there! This tune literally dominated my life until I was 6! Happy memories. https://t.co/4DfHc0VaWA — Zack White 'The Napoleonicist' (@ZwhiteHistory) October 9, 2020
Think this one is the best one yet! https://t.co/lrVX16MkQn — Dr Liz Thomas (@lizgoingon) October 9, 2020
Because we can, we’re sharing the Imperial March from Star Wars – played by Darth Vader, apparently.
She must sit on the dark side of the string section.
READ MORE
The Super Mario Bros theme played on cellos (and an egg shaker) is an absolute joy
Source Samara Ginsberg Image Screengrab, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-12--19 film titles given a comedy upgrade by the subbing in of the word ‘testicles’

Over on Twitter , people have been keeping all this *waves hand* at bay by tweaking film titles to great @ @ @ @ @ started with this post from @ KaylaChowShow .
She even set the ball rolling .
@ @ @ @ @ ” was soon trending on Twitter , and not because people were tweeting a load @ @ @ @ @ These were our favourite testicle films .

Twitter
Over on Twitter, people have been keeping all this *waves hand* at bay by tweaking film titles to great comic effect.
It all started with this post from @KaylaChowShow.
Replace one word in any movie title with “Testicles.” — Kayla Chow Show (@KaylaChowShow) October 11, 2020
She even set the ball rolling. Or balls.
She’s the Testicles — Kayla Chow Show (@KaylaChowShow) October 11, 2020
“Testicles” was soon trending on Twitter, and not because people were tweeting a load of bol …never mind.
These were our favourite testicle films.
1.
My Big Fat Greek Testicles. https://t.co/dlFmEZjabG — Hannah O'Hanrahahanrahan (@buntyhoven) October 11, 2020
2.
Star Wars :
The Phantom Testicles
Attack of the Testicles
Revenge of the Testicles
A New Testicle
The Testicles Strike Back
Return of the Testicles
The Testicles Awakens
The Last Testicles
The Rise of Testicles
.
.
.
I have too much free time https://t.co/DDRCxl8B3j — The Svensational Sven ➐ (@SvensationalGuy) October 11, 2020
3.
Honey, I shrunk the testicles! pic.twitter.com/EaW6vzBiJo — Chris King (@iamkingy) October 11, 2020
4.
Alfred Hitchcock's 39 Testicles https://t.co/F7gS9cHQ5Z — The Dalai Farmer (@Grove_digger) October 11, 2020
5.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Testicles https://t.co/mFVL8zOPWJ — Greg Jenner (@greg_jenner) October 11, 2020
6.
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Testicles https://t.co/nYFOWWT4b7 — Just Pengy (@IncognitoPengy) October 11, 2020
7.
8.
The Taming of the Testicles. https://t.co/suN5wqDWll — Katy (@KatyJayne101) October 11, 2020
9.
Three Testicles Outside Ebbing, Missouri https://t.co/9xFZgIpgEh — Rob Chapman (@rcscribbler) October 11, 2020
10.


thepoke--2020-10-12--Pulp Fiction meets DuckTales

Pulp Fiction meets DuckTales

John Travolta , as Vincent Vega , and Uma Thurman , as Mia Wallace , dancing to the DuckTales theme @ @ @ @ @ didn ’ t know you needed until now .

Exclusive
John Travolta, as Vincent Vega, and Uma Thurman, as Mia Wallace, dancing to the DuckTales theme tune is the content you didn’t know you needed until now.


thepoke--2020-10-12--Need to retrain? Why not pick one of these jobs from an 1881 survey

In the extremely unlikely circumstances that you didn ’ t see the uproar , Rishi Sunak said people would have @ @ @ @ @ jobs would go to the wall due to Covid-19 , and Twitter went to town @ @ @ @ @ advice questionnaire .
Funny tweeter , @ soapachu – currently in Halloween mode as spookachu @ @ @ @ @ of jobs from which people might want to pick a new direction .
Does anything @ @ @ @ @ ‘ Gymnast to house painter ‘ , for example ?
And who wouldn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ Running about ‘ ?
There is one job on the list , however , that @ @ @ @ @ .
The 15 funniest responses to the government ’ s career advice questionnaire

Weird World
In the extremely unlikely circumstances that you didn’t see the uproar, Rishi Sunak said people would have to retrain, as many jobs would go to the wall due to Covid-19, and Twitter went to town on the government’s advice questionnaire.
yeah nice one government I'll just go retrain as a smell wizard or a go and touch naked people during a global pandemic cheers pic.twitter.com/UU2Qvufl7K — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) October 7, 2020
Funny tweeter, @soapachu – currently in Halloween mode as spookachu – shared a helpful list of jobs from which people might want to pick a new direction.
Take a look.
Need to retrain for a new career? Some ideas from 1801… pic.twitter.com/62TADEXdyf — 🦇🎃 spookachu 🎃👻 (@soapachu) October 10, 2020
Does anything jump out at you? ‘Gymnast to house painter‘, for example? And who wouldn’t want the job of ‘Running about‘?
Some tweeters picked their jobs:
Tag yourself. I'm a turnip shepherd. https://t.co/IxHCnDhqAg — Rabbi Sara Zober BLM (@RebbeSMZ) October 11, 2020
“Fifty-two years an imbecile” is a career path I can only aspire to https://t.co/zTRlgIkqJW — Samara Ginsberg (@samaracello) October 11, 2020
i've been twisting beef since 97 and you're telling me i could've been paid all this time https://t.co/Mu5i4Zwkh1 — Xavier D'Leau (@XavierDLeau) October 10, 2020
There is one job on the list, however, that could be in great demand.
READ MORE
The 15 funniest responses to the government’s career advice questionnaire
Source @soapachu Image Kyaw Tun on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-10-12--Brexit supporter Prue Leith isn’t happy about the consequences of Brexit – the only 5 takedowns you

Brexit supporter Prue Leith isn’t happy about the consequences of Brexit – the only 5 takedowns you need

Monday – today , at the time of writing – sees MPs voting on amendments to the Agriculture Bill .
@ @ @ @ @ animal welfare standards and prevent the UK market being flooded with meat produced under poor @ @ @ @ @ chlorine-washed chicken .
Social media sites , and the mainstream media , have been packed @ @ @ @ @ importance of backing the amendments – including Jamie Oliver , Deborah Meaden and this , @ @ @ @ @ Prue Leith .
There was , however , a bit of an issue .
While @ @ @ @ @ the amendments are crucial , they couldn ’ t avoid seeing the irony of a @ @ @ @ @ effects of *checks notes* Brexit .
These five responses summed it up rather well .
@ @ @ @ @ wasn ’ t clear …

News
Monday – today, at the time of writing – sees MPs voting on amendments to the Agriculture Bill.
The changes aim to protect animal welfare standards and prevent the UK market being flooded with meat produced under poor conditions, including the much-mentioned chlorine-washed chicken.
Social media sites, and the mainstream media, have been packed with high-profile individuals explaining the importance of backing the amendments – including Jamie Oliver, Deborah Meaden and this, from Bake Off’s Prue Leith.
There was, however, a bit of an issue.
While plenty of people agreed that the amendments are crucial, they couldn’t avoid seeing the irony of a Brexiter campaigning to alleviate the effects of *checks notes* Brexit.
These five responses summed it up rather well.
1.
Oh no, it's the consequences of my own actions https://t.co/fMKIfWhAJ6 — Steve Peers (@StevePeers) October 11, 2020
2.
But Prue – you can't vote for Brexit AND give a shit about farmers. Surely that was explained to you by your son, Danny Kruger MP, the Brexit-supporting chum of Cummings who worked for me before I rewarded him with a safe seat in the election. https://t.co/QpVKPOyJVj — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 11, 2020
3.
Why do we have to pretend to be "the best" at everything? This country is 300 years old. Isn't it time to grow up and stop behaving like a complete moron. https://t.co/nNnMgY2xKD — Otto English (@Otto_English) October 11, 2020
4.
Yes Prue, I fully support British Farming & the high standards we have. As leading influencers in the EU we also helped raise standards elsewhere. One of the reasons I voted remain. Unfortunately you believed we’d be better alone. So here we are, in a Tory race to the bottom. pic.twitter.com/Q1ERZc6VhZ — Jo 🐟🇪🇺🇬🇧 🏴🕷 (@Jo_WhiteheadUK) October 11, 2020
5.
That’s right Prue, you give that stable door a good hard slam. https://t.co/n3oxYrchYn — Mulberry Street 🏴🇪🇺 (@st_mulberry) October 11, 2020
In case any of that wasn’t clear …
Prue Leith, avowed Brexit supporter, seems to only just have woken up to Brexit's potential to destroy the quality of UK food, and hurt British farmers. And magically she's all hand-wringing and smelling salts. Own. Your. Mess.@PrueLeith https://t.co/0Oh7gKpo6Y pic.twitter.com/SKDkatKrv9 — Edwin Hayward 🦄 🗡 (@uk_domain_names) October 11, 2020
READ MORE
Liam Fox’s top 12 chlorinated chicken recipes
Source Prue Leith Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-12--The SNP’s “Covid MP” gave the worst excuse for not following the rules – 9 unconvinced responses

The SNP MP accidentally dubbed “ Margaret Covid ” by Nicola Sturgeon – Margaret Ferrier – remains in post a @ @ @ @ @ broke that she had twice travelled a substantial distance by train after taking a coronavirus @ @ @ @ @ after receiving a positive result .
Her own apology is the best catch-up .
There @ @ @ @ @ forcibly remove her from her position , although her party leaders in and out of @ @ @ @ @ both said she should resign .
In an interview , she explained her reasoning for @ @ @ @ @ the diagnosis .
Presumably , this would also explain why she subsequently went to church @ @ @ @ @ hair salon , while infectious .
Finally , a top tip the government might want @ @ @ @ @ information page .
An SNP MP did a Dominic Cummings and people are furious – @ @ @ @ @ need

News
The SNP MP accidentally dubbed “Margaret Covid” by Nicola Sturgeon – Margaret Ferrier – remains in post a full two weeks after news broke that she had twice travelled a substantial distance by train after taking a coronavirus test – one of them after receiving a positive result.
Her own apology is the best catch-up.
There is currently no mechanism to forcibly remove her from her position, although her party leaders in and out of the House of Commons have both said she should resign.
In an interview, she explained her reasoning for travelling back to Scotland after the diagnosis.
“A lot of people say Covid makes you do things out of character.“
Presumably, this would also explain why she subsequently went to church and – allegedly – a hair salon, while infectious.
People weren’t buying it.
1.
Are you displaying Covid symptoms? A new persistent cough, temperature, sore throat, compulsion to act out of character? https://t.co/njdGO0sJa2 — Burnside (@BurnsideNotTosh) October 11, 2020
2.
It didn't make Johnson competent or Trump likeable. https://t.co/ibZJGcUuQC — Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) October 11, 2020
3.
Nope, you’re still just a dick I’m afraid https://t.co/g7LIWr4ivQ — Red Sky At Night (@redskyatnight) October 11, 2020
4.
Yeah, it's like that time I got conjunctivitis and tried to kill the Pope. https://t.co/3ZYrHmtLtF — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) October 11, 2020
5.
This is such a good excuse I’m amazed Cummings didn’t think of it https://t.co/sPfiZYypdC — Nelson Jones (@Heresy_Corner) October 11, 2020
6.
7.
Yep. My friend caught it, two days later she joined the Foreign Legion and insisted on being called Pierre. https://t.co/8mZ4Sz1RP4 — Danté Banks (@Dante_Banks) October 11, 2020
8.
Seems to make you act like a selfish wanker. https://t.co/A3v4XlspDX — 🎃John Rain🎃 (@MrKenShabby) October 11, 2020
9.
Sorry I murdered your entire family with a spoon, I was feeling a bit covid19 https://t.co/RhpFsf9lvP — RiggerBinwah (@RBinwah) October 11, 2020
Finally, a top tip the government might want to add to their Covid-19 information page.
How to tell if it’s a cold or covid: Cold:
– runny nose
– sore throat
– cough Covid:
– fever
– cough
– irresistible urge to infect a church, a fucking trainload of people then parliament then another fucking trainload of people https://t.co/jPNKuedU90 — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 11, 2020
READ MORE
An SNP MP did a Dominic Cummings and people are furious – the only 5 reactions you need
Source BBC News Image Mufid Majnun on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-10-12--This dog singing and playing the piano while its owners are away is just the content we needed today

Here ’ s 30 seconds to help take a little bit of the edge off everything else happening right now @ @ @ @ @ video of what this dog gets up to when its owners aren ’ t there @ @ @ @ @ on Reddit .
Hits all the right notes .
‘ So cute !
Probably sees @ @ @ @ @ the time and wanted to see what it was about.
’ Shhh_NotADr ‘ I would @ @ @ @ @ this please.
’ GraboidAttackVictim And if you really do want more … ( although it @ @ @ @ @ ’ t too far away ) .
Someone ’ s already sent it to Simon @ @ @ @ @ s reaction after it chose the wrong hand is far too relatable

Videos
Here’s 30 seconds to help take a little bit of the edge off everything else happening right now.
It’s a video of what this dog gets up to when its owners aren’t there, shared by Divy2008 over on Reddit.
Hits all the right notes.
‘So cute! Probably sees his owners do it all the time and wanted to see what it was about.’ Shhh_NotADr ‘I would like two more hours of this please.’ GraboidAttackVictim ‘Said no neighbor ever.’ niekez
And if you really do want more … (although it turns out the owners aren’t too far away).
Someone’s already sent it to Simon Cowell.
READ MORE
This dog’s reaction after it chose the wrong hand is far too relatable
Source Reddit u/Divy2008


thepoke--2020-10-12--Eric Trump just said a vaccine cured his father of Covid-19 – 7 lethal putdowns

Eric Trump never fails to disappoint and his latest car crash of a TV interview was no exception .
There @ @ @ @ @ the president ’ s son ’ s interview with Jonathan Karl on ABC news but @ @ @ @ @ on one bit , the bit where he said a vaccine cured his father of @ @ @ @ @ fair to say that Eric Trump isn ’ t an expert on vaccines .
Actually @ @ @ @ @ ’ t an expert .
And these 7 putdowns surely say it best .
This @ @ @ @ @ Donald Trump and Barack Obama has gone viral all over again

Twitter
Eric Trump never fails to disappoint and his latest car crash of a TV interview was no exception.
There was lots to enjoy from the president’s son’s interview with Jonathan Karl on ABC news but let’s just focus on one bit, the bit where he said a vaccine cured his father of Covid-19.
Eric Trump, on This Week for some reason (he’s supposedly an independent businessman), can’t understand why the media accurately reports that mass gatherings at the White House have the potential to become superspreader events pic.twitter.com/BLjoBlPd2i — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) October 11, 2020
It’s fair to say that Eric Trump isn’t an expert on vaccines. Actually, Eric Trump just isn’t an expert.
And these 7 putdowns surely say it best.
1.
Eric Trump apparently doesn’t understand what a vaccine is. https://t.co/MHRYeZ82mI — Vicky Ward (@VickyPJWard) October 12, 2020
2.
Ah, yes… the new kind of vaccine that prevents you from getting a disease you already have. https://t.co/YQVWFP0DnT — The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) October 11, 2020
3.
At a certain point you wonder: do these people actually *believe* Trump was healed by a miracle "vaccine" — which is not what a vaccine even is — that Trump "created" or are they just inarticulate and not too bright, and so have difficulty expressing themselves under pressure? https://t.co/0wtoZkERT7 — Emo Desperado (@JoyAnnReid) October 11, 2020
4.
5.
My god. The absolute stupidity of Eric Trump is boundless. I’m slightly embarrassed to even share a first name with him. #COVID19 This is what happens when you don’t teach kids in grade school proper basic science. Many never bother to learn it in college nor in adulthood. https://t.co/KJRA6YrULr — Eric Feigl-Ding (@DrEricDing) October 12, 2020
6.
So, producers, please explain. Why is it this man is on the air? His name? That justifies putting a man who offers a continuous blend of lies and ignorance on the air? The media obligation is to reveal the truth. Big name "gets" that only lie do a disservice to listeners. https://t.co/gnDvQ0CZ4b — David Rothkopf (@djrothkopf) October 11, 2020
7.
This was a train wreck of an interview for Trump team. Here’s one indication of how disconnected the Trump circle is from a world based on facts.👇 https://t.co/95EZ1dktK0 — Ryan Goodman (@rgoodlaw) October 11, 2020
To conclude …
https://twitter.com/AliceEvansGruff/status/1315355552763973633?s=20
READ MORE
This hilarious compare and contrast of Donald Trump and Barack Obama has gone viral all over again
Source @atrupar H/T Indy100


thepoke--2020-10-12--The BBC’s first news report about Covid-19 has gone viral because it’s just an extraordinary watch

Lots of people are sharing this video of the BBC ’ s first TV news report about the outbreak of @ @ @ @ @ the world as Covid-19 .
It might not have seemed extraordinary stuff at the time @ @ @ @ @ well , have a watch for yourself ( not least the last 10 seconds ) @ @ @ @ @ Only … nine … months .
This hilarious compare and contrast of Donald Trump and @ @ @ @ @ all over again

Videos
Lots of people are sharing this video of the BBC’s first TV news report about the outbreak of what would become known to the world as Covid-19.
It might not have seemed extraordinary stuff at the time, but looking back, well, have a watch for yourself (not least the last 10 seconds).
Exactly 9 months ago, just after 5am UK time on the 12 January, the first BBC TV report ran about the death of a man in central China from a peculiar new disease. Officials insisted it was all under control and would be nothing like the 2008 SARS outbreak which killed 770 people. pic.twitter.com/NpueEGwvqN — Rich Preston (@RichPreston) October 12, 2020
Nine months ago. Only … nine … months.
https://twitter.com/miffythegamer/status/1315505652614287362?s=20
https://twitter.com/johnb78/status/1315595144331059200?s=20
Like watching the opening scene of a horror film.https://t.co/SKqSqhESfF — Ashley Cowburn (@ashcowburn) October 12, 2020
It's all under control, no need to worry, aye, right. https://t.co/o3p7X7dAoo — Jake O'Kane (@JakeOKane) October 12, 2020
https://twitter.com/illucifer/status/1315593611040391168?s=20
https://twitter.com/jamieeast/status/1315619547198689280?s=20
READ MORE
This hilarious compare and contrast of Donald Trump and Barack Obama has gone viral all over again
Source @RichPreston


thepoke--2020-10-13--This CNN anchor trying not to laugh at Donald Trump’s ‘Macho Man’ soundtrack is a lovely watch

Spare a thought for CNN ’ s Anderson Cooper who found his professionalism tested to the limit by the music @ @ @ @ @ s Florida Rally .
Rylan Clark-Neal had the best response to Donald Trump dancing to @

Videos
Spare a thought for CNN’s Anderson Cooper who found his professionalism tested to the limit by the music chosen for Donald Trump’s Florida rally.
It’s a lovely watch.
Macho, macho man!
https://twitter.com/BookofJonah/status/1315812986049576961?s=20
@DyMdillon I am laughing just watching Anderson trying not to laugh — Elise (@Beachlife44) October 13, 2020
Watch as Anderson Cooper stares off into the middle distance upon realizing that Trump is using gay anthem “YMCA” to amp up his radically homophobic base at a mask free rally after testing positive for COVID-19 less than 2 weeks ago. Enjoy Macho Man! pic.twitter.com/F0XY3GhWbV — Mix Andrist (She/Her/Sir) (@MixAndrist) October 13, 2020
I don’t remember one thing Gary said. I was 😂😂😂watching Anderson. — Desertbloom (@notrumpvegas) October 13, 2020
Anderson Cooper fully having an out of body experience at this point pic.twitter.com/xZBLmvhseg — Mike Tague (@rhymeswithbeg) October 13, 2020
@andersoncooper is a national treasure. — Laura Shepard (@LM_Shepard) October 13, 2020
Anderson Cooper dissociating is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen pic.twitter.com/n1lbf2bRl5 — Ben Yahr (@benyahr) October 13, 2020
READ MORE
Rylan Clark-Neal had the best response to Donald Trump dancing to YMCA
Source Twitter @CamJunior1972


thepoke--2020-10-13--Hackney Council was hit by a cyber attack and everyone made the same joke

With impeccable comic timing – although obviously it ’ s a very serious business – Hackney Council in London has @ @ @ @ @ cyber attack taking out many of its services and IT systems .
And lots of @ @ @ @ @ thought given that it was only yesterday that all this was happening .
Here are @ @ @ @ @ ‘ retraining ’ ad didn ’ t entirely read the room – 17 en pointe @

Twitter
With impeccable comic timing – although obviously it’s a very serious business – Hackney Council in London has been hit by a serious cyber attack taking out many of its services and IT systems.
Hackney Council hit by ‘serious cyber attack’ https://t.co/yQKygg0SIs — SkyNews (@SkyNews) October 13, 2020
And lots of people had exactly the same thought given that it was only yesterday that all this was happening.
Here are our favourite responses …
fatima has gone rogue https://t.co/OFMmKBlIeZ — joe (@jxeker) October 13, 2020
Police believe it may be the work of ballerinas. https://t.co/rtjKXlERgM — Carl Maxim (@carlmaxim) October 13, 2020
“Oh I’ll retrain in cyber alright” Fatima muttered, buttoning up her most badass of tutus, “just you wait.” https://t.co/Dyan069a81 — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 13, 2020
Fatima trained fast https://t.co/18gPLMzob2 — Ania Magliano (@AniaMags) October 13, 2020
This is what happens when you tell Fatima to stop ballet https://t.co/Xqof8S5QId — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) October 13, 2020
the devil works hard, but fatima works harder https://t.co/yhYuWmiJVG — joshua (@joshcharles_21) October 13, 2020
Darcey Bussell denies all involvement. https://t.co/iW7mvnAQRB — Jon Abbott (@jon_abbott) October 13, 2020
READ MORE
This government ‘retraining’ ad didn’t entirely read the room – 17 en pointe takedowns
Source Twitter @SkyNews Image Unsplash Pixabay


thepoke--2020-10-13--This jogger being stalked by a cougar – for 6 minutes! – is a terrifying watch

Very possibly you ’ ll see a more terrifying thing this week , but we doubt it , a video @ @ @ @ @ stalked by a cougar .
For SIX MINUTES .
And just a few of the @ @ @ @ @ it .
Boom .
And , as you might expect , there were lots of @ @ @ @ @ can see the full video on YouTube here .
And just in case you find @ @ @ @ @ ( could happen ) .
This dog singing and playing the piano while its owners @ @ @ @ @ content we needed today

Videos
Very possibly you’ll see a more terrifying thing this week, but we doubt it, a video of a jogger who was stalked by a cougar. For SIX MINUTES.
Sound up!
Slate Canyon near Provo, Utah: This guy went on his run and a cougar stalked him for more than 6-minutes. Omg…pic.twitter.com/FT7AfG2EC4 — Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) October 12, 2020
And just a few of the things people were saying about it.
Anyway. That's how I ended up buying a treadmill — Dirty (@dirtysavage75) October 12, 2020
amazing! The cat wasn't really stalking though. If it had WANTED to kill him, it could have. No human can run faster than a cougar. The cat was escorting him out of her territory — VOTE –BECAUSE OUR LIVES DEPEND ON IT (@MeAndMyDogToo) October 12, 2020
For context…the whole video shows him close to the cougars young ones first before this part happens. — SunnyDiegoJon#GoJagsIThink#ATLBeatLA. (@Gpo1722) October 12, 2020
That makes sense. The cat seemed to be trying to scare him off rather than trying to hunt him. — Boudicca Mic ❄💙🌊 (@twistedmic24) October 12, 2020
All those rocks on the ground and nothing. I didn’t watch the whole video that🤣 — Damien Gaddis (@pankalank) October 12, 2020
The second he bent down to pick up a rock that cougar would have been all over him,,his height was the only thing preventing an attack. — Turkywalk (@turkywalk) October 12, 2020
The cougar didn’t like that the runner was wearing Pumas…. — John R. Nave (@JRNave) October 12, 2020
Boom. And, as you might expect, there were lots of responses like this.
LOCAL COUGARS IN YOUR AREA WANT TO HOOK UP TODAY — Hondo & the Chief (@Hondo_n_Chief) October 12, 2020
To conclude …
You can see the full video on YouTube here.
And just in case you find yourself in a similar situation (could happen).
*yawn* I've been stalked by cougars before. If you know about where you are, and wildlife, it's kinda spooky but also pretty easily fixed: 1. DON'T RUN. Get to a clear space.
2. FACE the animal.
3. Arms up, hands out; get bigger.
4. Start yelling or (my fave) singing loudly. — Baby can you dig your man? (@misosusanowa) October 12, 2020
READ MORE
This dog singing and playing the piano while its owners are away is just the content we needed today
Source @kslnewsradio @RexChapman


thepoke--2020-10-13--The BBC sign language guy looks like he’s had enough of Boris Johnson and it’s perfect

Boris Johnson was addressing the nation again last night , but it ’ s not him we ’ re here @ @ @ @ @ the BBC sign language interpreter who , just for a moment , surely spoke for @ @ @ @ @ a large part of it … ) 12 scathing takedowns of the new 3-tier coronavirus @

Videos
Boris Johnson was addressing the nation again last night, but it’s not him we’re here for. It’s the BBC sign language interpreter who, just for a moment, surely spoke for the nation (well, a large part of it …)
Nailed it.
Turns out I know sign language pic.twitter.com/h0qjDUaIbW — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 13, 2020
The sign language chap confirming what we all already thought!😜pic.twitter.com/RiGrQSE7zt — DrewLawrenceAntiques (@DrewLawDesign) October 13, 2020
Not the first time a BBC sign language interpreter has summed up the news so beautifully. Remember this?
The sign language interpreter doing the Brexit Agreement on BBC News is perfectly conveying the perplexing fuckery of this situation #Brexit #BrexitChaos pic.twitter.com/bA66SYMXqN — (h)ell potter 👻 (@Pottell) November 15, 2018
READ MORE
12 scathing takedowns of the new 3-tier coronavirus measures
Source Twitter @HansonBenj


thepoke--2020-10-13--Tiers, masks and conspiracy theories – 12 funny takes on the pandemic

If you ’ re trying to get your head around the new three-tier coronavirus regulation system , console yourself with @ @ @ @ @ ll probably understand it before Boris Johnson does .
Wait …that ’ s not really @ @ @ @ @ , these funny tweets are certainly a good thing , and you might pick up @ @ @ @ @ .
Masks , the cinema and being forced to get dressed – 15 funny takes @ @ @

Twitter
If you’re trying to get your head around the new three-tier coronavirus regulation system, console yourself with the fact that you’ll probably understand it before Boris Johnson does.
Wait …that’s not really consolation is it?
Well, these funny tweets are certainly a good thing, and you might pick up an interesting fact or two.
1.
I think Covid was created in a lab by flat-Earthers who needed something new to disbelieve. — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) October 8, 2020
2.
People who wear their mask but have their nose uncovered are like your grandma who just holds the seatbelt over her without clicking it in. — Greg One Leg (@Greg_1_Leg) October 10, 2020
3.
BREAKING: Believing a face mask is a telephone revealed as latest Covid symptom. pic.twitter.com/RO4stCxpoG — The Original Twitflup! (@TheRealFlups) October 11, 2020
4.
ME: hey buddy you should wear a mask CLARK KENT: but the glasses have been working fine — Swim Jeans👖 (@ShortSleeveSuit) October 4, 2020
5.
Trump saying he may have helped find a vaccine. pic.twitter.com/vGXLU6Dr0D — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) October 11, 2020
6.
“Just a reminder that when I was quarantined because of the plague, I wrote King Lear” https://t.co/9wOCgCZgwD — . (@twlldun) October 11, 2020
7.
Here are the strict scientific criteria that will determine which areas are to be locked down:
-being in The North
-being run by a Labour council
-not being in the constituency of a Cabinet Minister#COVID__19 #lockdown — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 11, 2020
8.
just seen someone refer to the pandemic as the panny d and it’s ruined my fucking week before it’s even hit 12 on monday — luce 🦇 $7 OF (@babyscrambles) October 12, 2020
9.
Throw some Maltesers in the air Take an aerial shot of Prince Charles For the love of god avoid the opposite sex pic.twitter.com/NEqag3k4LK — Emma (@emmajd81) October 12, 2020
10.
RIP The Bud Knight, dead at 39 after getting Covid from drinking a Coors Light. pic.twitter.com/2kGUrRTMV4 — Keaton Patti (@KeatonPatti) October 12, 2020
11.
all towns or cities automatically go into Tier 5 level alert if Stanley Johnson arrives — dave ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) October 12, 2020
12.
I bet the government's new 3 tier lockdown system will be so complicated that it won't even contain tiers at all, or relate to lockdown. It'll probably just be a photograph of a barn owl. — cluedont (@cluedont) October 12, 2020
READ MORE
Masks, the cinema and being forced to get dressed – 15 funny takes on the pandemic
Image @younis67 on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-10-13--Rylan Clark-Neal had the best response to Donald Trump dancing to YMCA

Whoever had ‘ Donald Trump dancing to YMCA ’ on their 2020 Bingo , cross another one off your card @ @ @ @ @ president dancing to the Village People at a Floria campaign rally went viral because , @ @ @ @ @ for yourself .
And Donald Trump fans loved it , they really loved it .
@ @ @ @ @ , however , who wondered if it wasn ’ t entirely appropriate .
Like @ @ @ @ @ @ But the best response surely went to Rylan Clark-Neal , the Radio 2 and Supermarket @ @ @ @ @ Factor contestant .
The only 5 responses you need to Donald Trump offering to kiss @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
Whoever had ‘Donald Trump dancing to the Village People’ on their 2020 Bingo card, don’t forget to cross it off today.
This clip of the president at a Florida campaign rally dancing to YMCA went viral because, well, have a watch for yourself.
And Donald Trump fans loved it, they really loved it.
So glad he is having fun.
He deserves happiness. — Tina (@Tina06763394) October 13, 2020
https://twitter.com/sirhottest/status/1315884432092348416?s=20
He's adorable. I've never said that about a grown man before. Lol — Shane Smedley (@ShaneSmedley) October 13, 2020
There were lots of people, however, who wondered if it wasn’t entirely appropriate. Like @RexChapman, for instance.
215,000 dead Americans and he’s out there doing this… pic.twitter.com/uYUddJcvNN — Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) October 13, 2020
But the best response surely went to Rylan Clark-Neal, the Radio 2 and Supermarket Sweep presenter and former X Factor contestant.
Me growing up at family parties trying to hold the gay in pic.twitter.com/NI2DfMFxYZ — Rylan Clark-Neal (@Rylan) October 13, 2020
READ MORE
The only 5 responses you need to Donald Trump offering to kiss the crowd at his rally
Source @Rylan


thepoke--2020-10-13--The ‘how it started’ meme has taken the internet by storm – our 19 favourite examples

Over on Twitter , people have been getting involved with a meme that shows how something started versus how it @ @ @ @ @ Most people , however , have been taking a more tongue-in-cheek approach .
These are @ @ @ @ @

Popular
Over on Twitter, people have been getting involved with a meme that shows how something started versus how it’s going now.
Like this inspirational achievement:
How it started How it's going pic.twitter.com/ciVb924eQR — Tanko 🇨🇲🇬🇭 (@desmondtanko) October 11, 2020
Or this stark chart.
How it started How it’s going pic.twitter.com/1tvTMXQs87 — Greta Thunberg (@GretaThunberg) October 10, 2020
Most people, however, have been taking a more tongue-in-cheek approach. These are the best we spotted.
1.
how it started how it ended pic.twitter.com/9G16eekG0s — lala (@tenleest) October 11, 2020
2.
How it How it’s
started going pic.twitter.com/ckW1dg9iAj — Simon Cox *isolate but organise* (@SimonFRCox) October 12, 2020
3.
How it started How it's going pic.twitter.com/Vf3g3LkdE3 — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 11, 2020
4.
How it started How it's going pic.twitter.com/mFcAGhp7Yb — Hassam Munir (@HassamM_) October 5, 2020
5.
How it started. How it’s going. pic.twitter.com/dXSNKoYqWh — Peter Manseau (@plmanseau) October 11, 2020
6.
How it started vs HOW ITS GOING pic.twitter.com/soenIFghcO — △ (@MahmudMay12) October 5, 2020
7.
How it started… How it’s going pic.twitter.com/uuaEwmK9Cz — Rafael Flaks 🎃 (@Raff_1312) October 12, 2020
8.
How it started. How it’s going. pic.twitter.com/vuFtpWyrii — Jonny – sensible BOOOOOman👻 (@sensiblehuman96) October 12, 2020
9.
How it started. How it's going. pic.twitter.com/UFDjLCkxQs — STEMLORD, Cancel Culture’s Most Feared Nanotechie (@upulie) October 13, 2020
10.


thepoke--2020-10-13--The twist in the tail of this missing cat saga is proper next level stuff

There ’ s unexpected plot twists and there ’ s unexpected plot twists .
And then there ’ s this @ @ @ @ @ missing cat which went wildly viral because , well , you ’ re going to @ @ @ @ @ yourself .
‘ You guys would not believe the roller coaster of emotions I ’ @ @ @ @ @ said Eric Schmidt – @ TalkingSchmidt – over on Twitter .
And this is why @ @ @ @ @ turning up alive was the twist but no … IT WAS A RABBIT !
This @ @ @ @ @ dead cat is sad and very , very funny

Weird World
There are unexpected plot twists and there are unexpected plot twists. And then there’s this, a story of a missing cat which went wildly viral because, well, you’re going to have to read it for yourself.
‘You guys would not believe the roller coaster of emotions I’ve been through,’ said Eric Schmidt – @TalkingSchmidt – over on Twitter.
And this is why.
We thought the cat turning up alive was the twist but no … IT WAS A RABBIT!
Props to your mom for taking the mystery carcass to the vet in case another family was looking for their pet. — JesboJB (@jesbojb) October 12, 2020
Thank you for saying that! She’s very thoughtful — Eric Schmidt (@TalkingSchmidt) October 12, 2020
Eric what are they gonna do about the cat they buried?! This is the first act in a story where a cat ghost haunts your family. — umbilical corden (@elainecorden) October 12, 2020
The vet wanted $50 to get rid of the dead rabbit. My mom said “nah, I’ll just toss it in the hole I already dug in the backyard.” A much less ceremonial second burying — Eric Schmidt (@TalkingSchmidt) October 12, 2020
Why is your sister holding that rabbit though? — Which side are you on (@EMTPromises) October 12, 2020
That’s my mom and an alive cat — Eric Schmidt (@TalkingSchmidt) October 12, 2020
We’re with this person.
Spoiler alert: I fell out laughing when I found out the 💀🐱 was a 🐰! Thank you so much. I’ve been going through a rough patch and I really needed this laugh! I’m glad to hear that the real 🐱 was just fine. — LegalNerd ComicsGeek (@lephiladelphia) October 13, 2020
READ MORE
This classic Facebook exchange about a dead cat is sad and very, very funny
Source Twitter @TalkingSchmidt


thepoke--2020-10-13--The only 5 responses you need to Donald Trump offering to kiss the crowd at his rally

After allegedly testing negative for coronavirus on two successive days , Donald Trump held his first proper rally since being @ @ @ @ @ cheering crowds at Sanford , Florida , just how good he was feeling , and @ @ @ @ @ to be believed .
I ’ ll kiss the guys and the beautiful women…everybody…I ’ @ @ @ @ @ big fat kiss .
Trump ’ s new medical team must be thrilled .
These @ @ @ @ @ were all thinking .
Treat Williams had this message for the President .
Eric Trump @ @ @ @ @ his father of Covid-19 – 7 lethal putdowns

Videos
After allegedly testing negative for coronavirus on two successive days, Donald Trump held his first proper rally since being ill.
He told the cheering crowds at Sanford, Florida, just how good he was feeling, and it has to be seen to be believed.
I’ll kiss the guys and the beautiful women…everybody…I’ll just give ya a big fat kiss.
Erm …
Ecstasy has apparently been added to the president's Covid pill regimen. https://t.co/wjdtrKYwle — Rod Dreher (@roddreher) October 13, 2020
Trump’s new medical team must be thrilled.
While doctors have questioned Trump's plans to exchange open-mouth Loyalty Kisses with supporters at his rallies later this week, with some even calling it irresponsible, the President's team believes it's important to "show strength" as the campaign enters its final month. — David Roth (@david_j_roth) October 5, 2020
These five reactions say what we were all thinking.
1.
What a complete moron…. https://t.co/Ptlo6zxIV7 — Peter van Onselen (@vanOnselenP) October 13, 2020
2.
3.
And then he’ll grab ‘em by the p*ssy … https://t.co/orYXVyVajN — Kurt Bardella (@kurtbardella) October 13, 2020
4.
I would also encourage Trump to kiss all the Republicans in the House and Senate, as well as the Republican supreme court justices. https://t.co/KIB1CAieqW — Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) October 13, 2020
5.
Never has a society fought so hard to stay stupid. https://t.co/hpKORAJRcN — Melissa Stetten (@MelissaStetten) October 13, 2020
Treat Williams had this message for the President.
You can also kiss my ass https://t.co/ZinodEkDw8 — Treat Williams (@Rtreatwilliams) October 13, 2020
READ MORE
Eric Trump just said a vaccine cured his father of Covid-19 – 7 lethal putdowns
Source Yashar Ali Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-13--This hilarious thread of Premier League managers as teachers hits the back of the net

Former teacher , Sam Hall has obviously given great thought to the personalities and attributes of all the Premier League @ @ @ @ @ of how they ’ d fit into a school ’ s staff is totally believable @ @ @ @ @ ’ s hopelessly out-of-his-depth soon to retrain as a learning mentor teacher

Twitter
Former teacher, Sam Hall has obviously given great thought to the personalities and attributes of all the Premier League managers, because this thread of how they’d fit into a school’s staff is totally believable.
English Premier League managers as teachers in UK schools. A thread: — Sam Hall (@s_hall_teach) October 10, 2020
1. Burnley’s behaviour specialist
1. Sean Dyche Head of behaviour. Scariest bloke in the school. Frightens the teachers as much as the kids. Got a reputation and lives up to it. Likes a drink on the staff night out. pic.twitter.com/D0Zf2RDaI5 — Sam Hall (@s_hall_teach) October 10, 2020
2. Fulham’s Newly Qualified Teacher
2. Scott Parker Nice lad, sharp suit, fresh out of Uni. Unfortunately he’s got no clue in the classroom. Unlikely to be seen after the first half term. Head of Department has already enquired about Mr Allardyce’s availability. pic.twitter.com/mIFDLaTCJ2 — Sam Hall (@s_hall_teach) October 10, 2020
3. Leicester City’s innovator
3. Brendan Rodgers Climbing the greasy pole. He’s got a new innovation every school year. Doesn’t do much teaching but likes to tell everyone else how it should be done. Loves a knowledge organiser. pic.twitter.com/iQDGyDzmZJ — Sam Hall (@s_hall_teach) October 10, 2020
4. Manchester City’s philosopher
4. Pep Guardiola Head of Philosophy. Refuses to teach anything but top sets. Gets all his kids into Oxbridge. Always the snappiest dresser in the staff room. pic.twitter.com/aPjgqF7Wve — Sam Hall (@s_hall_teach) October 10, 2020
5. Crystal Palace’s past-it but popular teacher
5. Roy Hodgson Should probably have stopped teaching ten years ago. He taught your dad and your grandad. Wheeled out to teach year 7 each year. The school wouldn’t be the same without him. pic.twitter.com/3tGjncr0nY — Sam Hall (@s_hall_teach) October 10, 2020
6. Newcastle United’s ubiquitous PE and Geography master
6. Steve Bruce Been a PE teacher for about 20 years. Inexplicably teaches year 9 geography a few times a week. No idea what goes on in his lessons but the kids seem happy. pic.twitter.com/BoWph6k2HP — Sam Hall (@s_hall_teach) October 10, 2020
7. Chelsea’s former teacher’s pet
7. Frank Lampard Ex-head boy back teaching in the swanky private school. Great pupil, average teacher. Thinks he’s mates with the kids. Thinks he’s probably the best teacher. No one really likes him anymore. pic.twitter.com/gfiuD36lVs — Sam Hall (@s_hall_teach) October 10, 2020
8. Tottenham Hotspur’s tough but fair guy
8. José Mourinho Uncle José. Seemed a horrible bugger from the outside. But once you’re in his class, you realise he’s a good bloke. Tough but fair. Good banter. Don’t get on the wrong side of him. pic.twitter.com/NUtRmxQtNt — Sam Hall (@s_hall_teach) October 10, 2020
9. Manchester United’s hopelessly out-of-his-depth soon to retrain as a learning mentor teacher
9. Ole Gunnar Solskjær The class is on fire. The school is on fire. Everything’s on fire. He stares at the misbehaviour. He looks like he could cry. He wishes he was back in Norway. pic.twitter.com/L9mfNAm6Vo — Sam Hall (@s_hall_teach) October 10, 2020
10. Everton’s Mr. Experience
10. Carlo Ancelotti Papa Carlo. He’s done it all. Taught across the world. Been in all the top jobs. Universally respected. He’s back doing what he loves best. Working with difficult classes and helping students achieve their full potential. If anyone can do it, Carlo can. pic.twitter.com/LBX6AnJObv — Sam Hall (@s_hall_teach) October 10, 2020
11. Aston Villa’s dreamer


thepoke--2020-10-13--This trick for pinpointing your location without using a compass is absolutely ingenious

This Canadian TikToker and former soldier , who goes by the name of Bulletproof Dad , has the best tip @ @ @ @ @ when you don ’ t have a compass .
Follow him for more invaluable advice @ @ @ @ @ awareness test that ’ s gone viral on TikTok ?

Videos
This Canadian TikToker and former soldier, who goes by the name of Bulletproof Dad, has the best tip for pinpointing your exact location when you don’t have a compass.
Eat your heart out, Bear Grylls.
Follow him for more invaluable advice.
READ MORE
Can you pass this awareness test that’s gone viral on TikTok?
Source Bulletproof Dad Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-13--12 scathing takedowns of the new 3-tier coronavirus measures

From one minute past midnight on Wednesday , England will be subject to a three-tier system of coronavirus measures , @ @ @ @ @ .
Boris Johnson outlined the new regulations during a Downing Street briefing on Monday evening @ @ @ @ @ Whitty .
Tier 1 – “ medium ” – the same measures as now – @ @ @ @ @ , blah , blah Tier 2 – “ high ” – the same as tier @ @ @ @ @ bubbles and no mixing indoors Tier 3 – “ very high ” – no mixing @ @ @ @ @ outdoor venues , closure of leisure centres , betting shops , casinos and – controversially @ @ @ @ @ t serve substantial meals Only Liverpool – with the surrounding areas – will fall under @ @ @ @ @ a lower rate of infection than other areas which will be under tier 2 .
@ @ @ @ @ have been reacting to the changes .

Twitter
From one minute past midnight on Wednesday, England will be subject to a three-tier system of coronavirus measures, intended to simplify the situation.
Good luck with that.
Exclusive first look at Boris Johnson's simple three-tier COVID-19 traffic light system. pic.twitter.com/PbTXemjgjv — Adam Kay (@amateuradam) October 11, 2020
Boris Johnson outlined the new regulations during a Downing Street briefing on Monday evening, with support from Chris Whitty.
Boris Johnson looking never more like a guy who wishes he'd retrained as a ballerina when he had the chance. — Tom Peck (@tompeck) October 12, 2020
Here’s the catch-up.
Tier 1 – “medium” – the same measures as now – Rule of Six … blah, blah, blah Tier 2 – “high” – the same as tier 1 but with no support bubbles and no mixing indoors Tier 3 – “very high” – no mixing of households at indoor or outdoor venues, closure of leisure centres, betting shops, casinos and – controversially – pubs that don’t serve substantial meals
Only Liverpool – with the surrounding areas – will fall under tier 3, despite having a lower rate of infection than other areas which will be under tier 2.
I wonder what it is the Tory government could have against the people of Liverpool. It’s a fucking head scratcher. https://t.co/a6T5cbW8GV — Bethany Black Death (@BeffernieBlack) October 12, 2020
Here’s how people have been reacting to the changes.
1.
Given the current levels of infection, there will only be three tiers of lockdown:
1. high
2. fucking high
3. oh shit, we're fucked#covidbriefing #lockdown — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 12, 2020
2.
Government: Get fit to fight covid
Also government: You can only have a beer if you eat a pie — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 12, 2020
3.
So when it comes to lockdown you’ve got very high tier, high tier, medium tier and Brexiteer pic.twitter.com/fuLcihLk8H — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) October 12, 2020
4.
Chris Whitty unveils the new 10 tier Covid system
1 – Medium
2 – High
3 – Very High
4 – oh shit
5 – no, this can't be right
6 – We're doomed
7 – someone might survive
8 – someone might not
9 – Tory constituencies in lock down
10 – all dead pic.twitter.com/rmudZYqsw3 — HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) October 12, 2020
5.
It’s easier to handle your drink* if you have some food at the same time *coronavirus — Dr Xand van Tulleken 🏳🌈 (@xandvt) October 12, 2020
6.


thepoke--2020-10-13--Rishi Sunak’s little “Thanks, PM” at the briefing was a cringeworthy delight – the 11 funniest react

Rishi Sunak’s little “Thanks, PM” at the briefing was a cringeworthy delight – the 11 funniest reactions

Monday saw the introduction of a three-tier system of restrictions to be imposed on areas in varying degrees of coronavirus @ @ @ @ @ had largely reached the public by the evening , Boris Johnson held a briefing at @ @ @ @ @ Chris Whitty and Rishi Sunak .
He outlined the system and took questions from journalists @ @ @ @ @ ’ s handover to the Chancellor for an update on financial support that got Twitter @ @ @ @ @ ’ t deceive you – that was “ Thanks , PM.
” from What GIFs @ @ @ @ @ open goal – and took its shot .
Shots .
And if the moment really @ @ @ @ @ you couldn ’ t quite put your finger on it – there ’ s a @ @ @ @ @ .

Twitter
Monday saw the introduction of a three-tier system of restrictions to be imposed on areas in varying degrees of coronavirus infection.
Although the news had largely reached the public by the evening, Boris Johnson held a briefing at Downing Street, flanked by Chris Whitty and Rishi Sunak.
He outlined the system and took questions from journalists, but it was Johnson’s handover to the Chancellor for an update on financial support that got Twitter buzzing.
Your ears don’t deceive you – that was “Thanks, PM.”
from What GIFs via Gfycat
Twitter saw an open goal – and took its shot. Shots.
1.
2.
Say “thanks PM” again. I dare you. pic.twitter.com/BtOerQJxyR — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) October 12, 2020
3.
“I’ll now hand over to Rishi Sunak.”
“Thanks PM!” pic.twitter.com/yoLIqNTuHN — Scott Innes (@Flying_Inside) October 12, 2020
4.
5.
6.
7.
“Thanks PM,” is precisely the kind of obsequious arse-licking Dominic Cummings had in mind when he appointed Rishi Sunak to replace the guy who wouldn’t let him sack his spads. — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) October 12, 2020
8.
Rishi Sunak after saying "thanks PM!" every time Boris throws a question on the pandemic economy his way. #coronavirusuk #lockdown pic.twitter.com/GYZrFJHm9N — commenter (@glove_island) October 12, 2020
9.
Twitter every time Rishi Sunak says "Thanks PM": pic.twitter.com/oKNwGRiLgV — Conor Gray (@ConortheGray) October 12, 2020
10.
11.
That sound you just heard? That was a whole nation throwing up simultaneously as Rishi Sunak said "Thanks PM" — Rich Cooper (@richcooper) October 12, 2020
And if the moment really reminded you of something and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it – there’s a good chance it was this.
via Gfycat
READ MORE
This National Lottery Policy Draw savagely parodies the government’s Covid-19 rules
Source Matt Chorley Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-13--Video bomb of the week

Video bomb of the week

This sheep discovered how to use a trampoline and it 's just what we needed today

The weather forecast takes a decidedly unexpected turn …
Big bird.
‘Plot twist : The bird was actually the size of the stadium and attacked the city.’ PrajwalZero-0-2


thepoke--2020-10-13--This sheep discovered how to use a trampoline and it’s just what we needed today

Sheep discovers how to use a trampoline .
Enjoys it .
What more do you want ?
‘ It made @ @ @ @ @ , it made the kid happy to see the sheep happy , it made me @ @ @ @ @ is happy , now that is a positive chain reaction !
’ FAMEDRAINDROP3 ‘ Every @ @ @ @ @ trampoline I just think of the spider-centipede hellscape living underneath .
Imagine if you fell @ @ @ @ @ you .
I DID need a new nightmare tonight.
’ Maramalolz

Sheep discovers how to use a trampoline. Enjoys it. What more do you want?
‘It made the sheep happy to jump, it made the kid happy to see the sheep happy, it made me happy to see that kid is happy, now that is a positive chain reaction!’ FAMEDRAINDROP3
‘Every time I see an in-ground trampoline I just think of the spider-centipede hellscape living underneath. Imagine if you fell through.’ albinoeinstein
‘Thank you. I DID need a new nightmare tonight.’ Maramalolz


thepoke--2020-10-13--This music video guide to how libraries work is magnificent (and catchy as hell)

This university library made a video guide to how libraries work .
But Duke University in North Carolina didn ’ t just make any video , they made this video .
‘ A librarian at my university just released a song to explain the new Library Takeout system , and it goes way harder than it has any right to , ’ said HardBoiled800 who shared it over on Reddit .
‘ Went looking for the bibliotheca , ended up at the discotheque.
’ Ritehandwingman ‘ When your night-time DJ gig fades into your day job….this is amazing.
’ t-muns @ @ @ @ @ @ @ : Why on earth am I subscribed to DukeUnivLibraries ’ YT channel ?
’ jamkey ‘ Hell yeah !
It ’ s on Spotify , just search up “ Library Takeout ” !
’ IReallyCannotDraw And it really is .
We can ’ t stop watching it .
Informative , entertaining , and catchy as hell .
Just when you think it can ’ t get any better , it does .
This thread about working in a library went viral because it ’ s funny , passionate , angry and utterly lovely

Videos
This university library made a video guide to how libraries work. But Duke University in North Carolina didn’t just make any video, they made this video.
And it’s simply magnificent.
‘A librarian at my university just released a song to explain the new Library Takeout system, and it goes way harder than it has any right to,’ said HardBoiled800 who shared it over on Reddit.
‘Went looking for the bibliotheca, ended up at the discotheque.’ Ritehandwingman ‘When your night-time DJ gig fades into your day job….this is amazing.’ t-muns ‘Me in a year from now: Why on earth am I subscribed to DukeUnivLibraries’ YT channel?’ jamkey ‘Me, randomly, for rest of 2020: “Li-brary take-out!” viveleroi ‘Hell yeah! It’s on Spotify, just search up “Library Takeout”!’ IReallyCannotDraw
And it really is.
We can’t stop watching it. Informative, entertaining, and catchy as hell. Just when you think it can’t get any better, it does.
READ MORE
This thread about working in a library went viral because it’s funny, passionate, angry and utterly lovely
Source YouTube DukeUnivLibraries H/T Reddit u/HardBoiled800


thepoke--2020-10-14--This ‘Swiss cheese defence’ is the perfect riposte for people picking holes in Covid safety advice

No matter the weight of scientific evidence ce that suggests otherwise , there will always be people picking holes in government advice and regulations what to do during the pandemic .
It ’ s true that no one thing , such as wearing a mask , can guarantee 100 % success rate .
But as this graphic very cleverly sums up – shared on Reddit by epidemiologist PHealthy – doing lots of different things can be very effective indeed .
And just a few of the things people were saying about it after it went viral on Reddit .
‘ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ model all the time in aviation relating to accident prevention .
Usually when accidents occur , the holes in a Swiss cheese model line up .
You accept that there will be flaws in everything , human error , technical faults , factors on the day etc , but it ’ s about preventative measures to stop them lining up !
’ gravity-f1ghter ‘ This is a good illustration that your time is usually better spent adding another layer than trying to fix the gaps .
If you ’ re already wearing a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ research the best kinds of mask to upgrade , instead maybe you start washing your hands more .
If you ’ re already washing your hands plenty , then don ’ t worry about the best type of soap , or increasing the frequency further .
Instead maybe it ’ s time to install your country ’ s track and trace app .
A lot of medium quality interventions is better than one good one.
’ no_PMs_please ‘ It ’ s called defence in depth and has been around a long , long @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s own is perfect and free from the potential of failure so you have many layers .
Even then , nothing will stop an advanced persistant threat it ’ s all about risk minimisation.
’ CatchmeUpNextTime ‘ I wish the avg person understood this .
I ’ m soo tired of hearing “ Well they wore a mask and distanced more than anyone and they still caught it and died .
Therefore masks are usueless.
” 😣 The person wearing a mask has lowered their risk AND yours !
!
!
But @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your freedumbs !
!
!
Man soo frustrating !
!
😣 ’ HeDiedFourU ‘ Well , I know what I ’ m making my next mask out of !
’ Biddy_Bear The musical guide to how this library works in the pandemic is magnificent ( and catchy as hell )

Pics
No matter how much scientific evidence suggests otherwise, there will always be people picking holes in government advice and regulations what to do during the pandemic.
It’s true that no single thing, such as wearing a mask, can guarantee 100% success rate.
But as this graphic very cleverly sums up – shared on Reddit by epidemiologist PHealthy – doing lots of different things can be very effective indeed.
And just a few of the things people were saying about it after it went viral on Reddit.
‘We use a “Swiss cheese” model all the time in aviation relating to accident prevention. Usually when accidents occur, the holes in a Swiss cheese model line up. You accept that there will be flaws in everything, human error, technical faults, factors on the day etc, but it’s about preventative measures to stop them lining up!’ gravity-f1ghter ‘This is a good illustration that your time is usually better spent adding another layer than trying to fix the gaps. If you’re already wearing a mask, don’t try and research the best kinds of mask to upgrade,instead maybe you start washing your hands more. If you’re already washing your hands plenty, then don’t worry about the best type of soap, or increasing the frequency further. Instead maybe it’s time to install your country’s track and trace app. A lot of medium quality interventions is better than one good one.’ no_PMs_please ‘It’s called defence in depth and has been around a long, long time. No contol layer on it’s own is perfect and free from the potential of failure so you have many layers. Even then, nothing will stop an advanced persistant threat it’s all about risk minimisation.’ CatchmeUpNextTime ‘I wish the avg person understood this. I’m soo tired of hearing “Well they wore a mask and distanced more than anyone and they still caught it and died. Therefore masks are usueless.” 😣
The person wearing a mask has lowered their risk AND yours!!! But thanks for killing them while YOU enjoyed your freedumbs!!! Man soo frustrating!! 😣’ HeDiedFourU ‘Well, I know what I’m making my next mask out of!’ Biddy_Bear
READ MORE
The musical guide to how this library works in the pandemic is magnificent (and catchy as hell)
Source Reddit u/PHealthy


thepoke--2020-10-14--Allison Pearson said lockdown doesn’t save lives, it just postpones deaths – 7 deadly takedowns

To the Daily Telegraph , where columnist Allison Pearson has been having a think about Covid-19 and has come to @ @ @ @ @ to share with the world .
Yes , UK !
Stop being anti-science !
These @ @ @ @ @ you need .
Actually , there were a whole lot more , but we ’ @ @ @ @ @ you don ’ t have to … Of if you prefer it particularly straight talking @ @ @ @ @ ’ s no such thing as herd immunity – only 7 responses you need

Twitter
To the Daily Telegraph, where columnist Allison Pearson has been having a think about Covid-19 and has come to a conclusion that she wanted to share with the world.
Lockdown does NOT save lives.
It postpones deaths.
You end up with the same number of deaths. You just prolong the crisis.
Can this country stop being anti-science? We may as well be examining animal entrails. — Allison Pearson (@allisonpearson) October 14, 2020
Yes, UK! Stop being anti-science! These are the only 5 takedowns you need. Actually, there were a whole lot more, but we’ve narrowed it down so you don’t have to …
Hands up everyone who doesn't want their death postponed. …. Thought not https://t.co/Se1vItzDXE — George Monbiot (@GeorgeMonbiot) October 14, 2020
Every medical treatment just “postpones death” Allison https://t.co/j2tcj8zDIo — . (@twlldun) October 14, 2020
Arresting Harold Shipman does not save lives, you just prolong the lives of his upcoming victims but they'll definitely die eventually. https://t.co/IekzELByvb — Malcolm Tucker (@Tucker5law) October 14, 2020
“hurry up and die so we can get this crisis over and done with!” https://t.co/ikaBEeBm7w — 💧simon holmes à court (@simonahac) October 14, 2020
In a related story, everyone dies eventually. Raise your hand if you care when! 🙋🏻♂🙋🏻♂🙋🏻♂🙋🏻♂🙋🏻♂🙋🏻♂🙋🏻♂🙋🏻♂🙋🏻♂🙋🏻♂🙋🏻♂ https://t.co/taxyLXqZkg — Jeremy Faust MD MS (ER physician) (@jeremyfaust) October 14, 2020
Medicine does NOT save lives. It postpones deaths. You end up with the same number of deaths. We should shut down medicine and the National Health Service when you think about it. pic.twitter.com/5MFQd5WiD8 — Owen Jones (@OwenJones84) October 14, 2020
She went from “the young need to stop being so selfish or we’re all going to die” to “on a long enough timeline the survival rate of everyone drops to zero” in 9 months flat pic.twitter.com/6ahBUvzJ7q — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 14, 2020
A doctor writes …
Allison, ICU bed occupancy is already at 90% in Liverpool. Lockdown saves lives by preventing wholly avoidable rationing of care. https://t.co/gGAnVS0YiE — Rachel Clarke (@doctor_oxford) October 14, 2020
Of if you prefer it particularly straight talking …
https://twitter.com/SpillerOfTea/status/1316297103384215552?s=20
READ MORE
Nadine Dorries said there’s no such thing as herd immunity – only 7 responses you need
Source @allisonpearson


thepoke--2020-10-14--Nadine Dorries said there’s no such thing as herd immunity – only 7 responses you need

Here ’ s Tory MP ( and health minister ) Nadine Dorries giving her considered verdict on coronavirus and the @ @ @ @ @ ) of herd immunity .
She was responding to a question from Arron Banks , @ @ @ @ @ deaths in Sweden .
And here ’ s what Dorries had to say .
Just @ @ @ @ @ is no such thing as herd immunity.
’ And these are the only 7 responses @ @ @ @ @ the funniest ‘ Nadine stories ’ after a Tory MP was accused of exaggerating

Twitter
Here’s Tory MP (and health minister) Nadine Dorries giving her considered verdict on coronavirus and the possible impact (or otherwise) of herd immunity.
She was responding to a question from Arron Banks, who need not bother us anymore here, flagging up Covid cases and deaths in Sweden.
And here’s what Dorries – who used to be a nurse – had to say.
Just to recap … ‘There is no such thing as herd immunity.’
And these are the only 7 responses you need.
Nadine, actual doctor here 👋
Measles needs to have a vaccination uptake of 93% or greater for the possibility of herd immunity to kick in, and we've never been close. Also, fun fact: measles vaccinations have saved over 21 million lives worldwide in the last 20 years. — Dr Meenal Viz (@meenalsworld) October 13, 2020
The most moronic utterance this week – and there's been stiff competition: https://t.co/JWw1I9n6I5 — Ivor Cummins (@FatEmperor) October 13, 2020
So 100% of us get flu every year. Science. https://t.co/MDeZQQh0sT — Alistair Haimes (@AlistairHaimes) October 13, 2020
If anyone wonders what has gone wrong in the UK, a good starting point would be scientific illiteracy in government. https://t.co/1qNGEu3fql — Jimmy Wales (@jimmy_wales) October 14, 2020
this would be an excellent point if – and it's a tiny detail – there weren't new, small humans with no immunity being produced constantly https://t.co/gKKXVEs1kc — Tom Chivers (@TomChivers) October 14, 2020
For the sake of our nation, I really hope the Minister’s account has been hacked because who ever tweeted that has absolutely no idea what they are talking about. https://t.co/DL0LiIPvZ5 — Dr Rosena Allin-Khan (@DrRosena) October 14, 2020
https://twitter.com/stevebrown2856/status/1316108075749834752?s=20
To conclude …
She is LITERALLY a health minister https://t.co/NcPxHROpyX — Marina Hyde (@MarinaHyde) October 14, 2020
To recap, herd immunity is supported by decades of scientific research and is achieved through vaccination or exposing enough of a population to a virus.
It does not require the total eradication of a disease, but happens when a large enough proportion of a population becomes immune.
And just in case Nadine is reading this, there’s a GCSE thing about herd immunity here.
READ MORE
9 of the funniest ‘Nadine stories’ after a Tory MP was accused of exaggerating
Source @NadineDorries


thepoke--2020-10-14--Finally, an easy-to-use 100% effective barrier against Covid transmission

‘ 100 % Effective , ’ says RyanShelf over on Reddit .
‘ I ’ ve got a friend who @ @ @ @ @ listen to a lot of podcasts but there are sooo many out there and if @ @ @ @ @ something unique then you ’ re just another person who thinks your conversation is soooo @ @ @ @ @ listen to it .
We all banter with our friends , no need to record @ @ @ @ @ a unique take , subject matter or format and maybe your podcast will be decent @ @ @ @ @ , yours is really great.
’ ghengiscant ‘ Are you available as a motivational speaker @ @ @

‘100% Effective,’ says RyanShelf over on Reddit.
Finally!
Boom.
‘I’ve got a friend who started a podcast. I listen to a lot of podcasts but there are sooo many out there and if you don’t have something unique then you’re just another person who thinks your conversation is soooo gripping other people want to listen to it. We all banter with our friends, no need to record and broadcast it. Have a unique take, subject matter or format and maybe your podcast will be decent, but not you george, yours is really great.’ ghengiscant
‘Are you available as a motivational speaker?’ RyanShelf