thepoke--2020-10-28--The writing’s on the wall for the Tory MP who ranted on Twitter about some unflattering graffiti

With Boris Johnson ‘ s renewed insistence that he won ’ t extend the free school meals programme to cover @ @ @ @ @ firmly on those MPs who voted against Labour ’ s proposal to do so .
@ @ @ @ @ Northfield , Gary Sambrook , took to Twitter to vent his anger at being the @ @ @ @ @ , presumably due to his vote .
It probably wasn ’ t the smartest thing @ @ @ @ @ As Chris Addison noted , there ’ s just something inherently funny about “ Gary @ @ @ @ @ .
While Caitlin Moran issued this very high praise indeed .
Unfortunately for Gary Sambrook @ @ @ @ @ old tweet that seemed relevant .
Twitter had a field day – in fact it @ @ @ @ @ run and run .
These 22 reactions were too good not to share .

Twitter
With Boris Johnson‘s renewed insistence that he won’t extend the free school meals programme to cover holidays, the spotlight remains firmly on those MPs who voted against Labour’s proposal to do so.
The Conservative MP for Birmingham Northfield, Gary Sambrook, took to Twitter to vent his anger at being the target of some unflattering graffiti, presumably due to his vote.
It probably wasn’t the smartest thing he could have done.
As Chris Addison noted, there’s just something inherently funny about “Gary Sambrook eats big dinners”.
‘Gary Sambrook eats big dinners’ is like ‘Person, woman, man, camera, TV’ in that the longer you think about it and the more you hear or read it, the funnier it sounds. — Chris Addison (@mrchrisaddison) October 26, 2020
While Caitlin Moran issued this very high praise indeed.
I think this might be the best British graffiti of the 21st century so far. https://t.co/lWK8QiIvo9 — Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) October 27, 2020
Unfortunately for Gary Sambrook, Jim Felton spotted an old tweet that seemed relevant.
Twitter had a field day – in fact it looks like it might just run and run. These 22 reactions were too good not to share.
1.
Some politicians are in the pocket of Big Oil, Gary Sambrook is in the pocket of Big Dinner. — Nish Kumar (@MrNishKumar) October 26, 2020
2.
CAN YOU HELP ME? I WANT A DINNER AS BIG AS GARY SAMBROOK? pic.twitter.com/nkmc7ZQhmW — . (@twlldun) October 26, 2020
3.
‘Bully’ For fuck’s sake, Gaz, they wrote some words on a wall. It’s not like they voted to deprive you of food over Christmas during a dangerous pandemic, you big-dinner-eating honker. https://t.co/SVq03vyykO — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) October 26, 2020
4.
“GARY SAMBROOK EATS BIG DINNERS” pic.twitter.com/hOD04q9yXm — Sorcha Ní Nia (@Luiseach) October 26, 2020
5.
Submitting an FOI request every day demanding to know the size of Gary Sambrook MP’s dinner — Ben Machell (@ben_machell) October 27, 2020
6.
Leia: I love you. Han: Gary Sambrook eats big dinners. pic.twitter.com/qlMZZMxdyd — Grumpy is not missing the hell that is the commute (@DarthBruton) October 26, 2020
7.
'Gary Sambrook eats big dinners, sir.' pic.twitter.com/G70gYyO07v — Stephen Graham (@StephenCVGraham) October 26, 2020
8.
“The honourable gentleman says that his dinners are small and modest. Unfortunately the data shows that Gary Sambrook does indeed eat big dinners.” pic.twitter.com/9pq4X02rEO — David (@discokidnap) October 26, 2020
9.
I am 100% sure that Gary Sambrook has voted in this poll. pic.twitter.com/ldupiGToSh — Jonny – sensible BOOOOOman👻 (@sensiblehuman96) October 26, 2020
10.


thepoke--2020-10-28--People loved Simon McCoy’s brutal last word on this woman’s ‘socially distanced trick or treating’

Just one more reason why the BBC ’ s Simon McCoy is our favourite newsreader .
Here he is with @ @ @ @ @ who went the extra mile to make sure she could hand out treats on Halloween @ @ @ @ @ 10/10 .
‘ A mother in Arkansas has come up with a candy shoot to @ @ @ @ @ delivered safely on 31 October .
‘ It ’ s basically an arrangement of PVC @ @ @ @ @ connectors .
Add to that a remote controlled doorbell and bucket and the transaction is @ @ @ @ @ be her social life.
’ Follow @ scottygb on Twitter for all things telly related @ @ @ @ @ daddy ’ s mask ’ is the content we needed today

Videos
Just one more reason why the BBC’s Simon McCoy is our favourite newsreader.
Here he is with an item about a woman who went the extra mile to make sure she could hand out treats on Halloween.
And the payoff is 10/10.
This is a brutal quip at the end of a news report by @BBCSimonMcCoy pic.twitter.com/dEMZpLRYM7 — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) October 28, 2020
Oof.
‘A mother in Arkansas has come up with a candy shoot to ensure that sweets can be delivered safely on 31 October. ‘It’s basically an arrangement of PVC pipes, spray paint and connectors. Add to that a remote controlled doorbell and bucket and the transaction is entirely contactless. As will be her social life.’
Follow @scottygb on Twitter for all things telly related.
READ MORE
‘Baby playing with daddy’s mask’ is the content we needed today
Source @scottygb


thepoke--2020-10-28--This cemetery looks like two pictures put together and it’s quite something

Over on the subReddit ‘ interesting as f-ck ’ comes this picture of a cemetery which is , well , @ @ @ @ @ interesting .
‘ This picture of a cemetery looks like 2 pictures put together , @ @ @ @ @ it does , it really does .
And just a few of the things people @ @ @ @ @ ‘ Well that is some good landscaping damn.
’ turborambo ‘ I ’ m still @ @ @ @ @ how this is not two pictures : ( .
’ mAdm-OctUh ‘ Baby playing with @ @ @ @ @ is the content we needed today Source Reddit u/Bagelsandjuice1849

Pics
Over on the subReddit ‘interesting as f-ck’ comes this picture of a cemetery which is, well, it’s really quite interesting.
‘This picture of a cemetery looks like 2 pictures put together,’ said Bagelsandjuice1849.
And it does, it really does.
And just a few of the things people were saying about it.
‘Well that is some good landscaping damn.’ turborambo ‘I’m still having a hard time seeing how this is not two pictures :(.’ mAdm-OctUh ‘This broke my brain kinda. Thanks!’ DefiantJedi
READ MORE
‘Baby playing with daddy’s mask’ is the content we needed today
Source Reddit u/Bagelsandjuice1849


thepoke--2020-10-28--‘Baby playing with daddy’s mask’ is the content we needed today

Here ’ s a little video to take the edge off everything else right now .
And it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ it right now … This woman ’ s unfortunate shaving accident turned her dog ’ @ @ @ @ @ box

Videos
Here’s a little video to take the edge off everything else right now.
Because most everything sucks right now please enjoy this baby laughing with daddy. Needed it today…pic.twitter.com/0L2WWWix0x — Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) October 26, 2020
And it’s fair to say people need it right now …
Ok this is awesome https://t.co/p1XHI3Jkm8 — Bret Baier (@BretBaier) October 28, 2020
For the first time we meet an adorable anti masker — Dr. Anthony (I’m Speaking) Fauci (@notdrfauci) October 26, 2020
https://twitter.com/hollyrpeete/status/1320815428889968640?s=20
There’s no such thing as too much baby laughter — Mychal (@mychal3ts) October 26, 2020
This gets better every 1,000 times I watch it https://t.co/oTCwZ5sF5f — Ron Fournier (@ron_fournier) October 28, 2020
Thank you Rex. Needed that. — YS (@NYinLA2121) October 26, 2020
READ MORE
This woman’s unfortunate shaving accident turned her dog’s head into a money box
Source @buitengebieden_ @RexChapman


thepoke--2020-10-28--‘Medical emergency trumps takeout order’

In the latest of an occasional series , facepalm of the week goes to this one-star review because , well @ @ @ @ @ yourself .
‘ A medical emergency trumps your take out order , ’ said PedroHicko @ @ @ @ @ .
Turns out it ’ s more common than you might think ( hope ) @ @ @ @ @ employee at my job had a heart attack mid-day and when I called to reschedule @ @ @ @ @ SO pissed even after I explained .
This was after SHE had rescheduled twice.
’ @ @ @ @ @ that while I was unconscious in the back of an ambulance , a neighbor stuck @ @ @ @ @ a good look than asked if they were going to take much longer because he @ @ @ @ @ The man works from home and was going to the store .
Lovely , considerate @ @ @ @ @ insult is so good we ’ re going to keep it .
This shop ’ @ @ @ @ @ refuse to wear a mask is simply perfect Source Reddit u/PedroHicko Image Pixabay

Weird World
In the latest of an occasional series, facepalm of the week goes to this one-star review because, well, have a read for yourself.
‘A medical emergency trumps your take out order,’ said PedroHicko who shared it on Reddit.
Turns out it’s more common than you might think (hope).
‘One time an employee at my job had a heart attack mid-day and when I called to reschedule the appointment the customer was SO pissed even after I explained. This was after SHE had rescheduled twice.’ whatsthisevenfor ‘I was told that while I was unconscious in the back of an ambulance, a neighbor stuck his head in to get a good look than asked if they were going to take much longer because he might be blocked in. The man works from home and was going to the store. Lovely, considerate people.’ ppw23
And this insult is so good we’re going to keep it.
‘I bet if that guy takes a viagra, he gets taller.’ Dildo_Faggins__
READ MORE
This shop’s takedown of covidiots who refuse to wear a mask is simply perfect
Source Reddit u/PedroHicko Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-10-29--‘I like to take videos of my wife and tell her I’m taking pictures’ is childish but very funny

This is very childish but it is also very , very funny .
Plus , we can ’ t wait @ @ @ @ @ And our favourite things people said about it , beginning with the Redditor who posted @ @ @ @ @ funny bit is how dumb my face looks.
’ PrimoThePro ‘ No it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ you were basically just watching her be silly , smiling and loving it .
Y @ @ @ @ @ ’ hickryjustaswell ‘ This is incredibly wholesome , thank you for sharing .
That shocked @ @ @ @ @ the end made it !
’ picancob ‘ Haha , no problem , and I @ @ @ @ @ permission of course .
She ’ s cute like that all the time lol.
’ @ @ @ @ @ daddy ’ s mask ’ is the content we needed today

Videos
This is very childish but it is also very, very funny. Plus, we can’t wait to try it ourselves.
And our favourite things people said about it, beginning with the Redditor who posted it.
‘The real funny bit is how dumb my face looks.’ PrimoThePro ‘No it’s cute cause it looks like you were basically just watching her be silly, smiling and loving it. Y’all are so precious.’ hickryjustaswell ‘This is incredibly wholesome, thank you for sharing. That shocked “baabe!” at the end made it!’ picancob ‘Haha, no problem, and I only shared it with her permission of course. She’s cute like that all the time lol.’ PrimoThePro
READ MORE
‘Baby playing with daddy’s mask’ is the content we needed today
Source Reddit u/PrimoThePro


thepoke--2020-10-29--We hope Bobby Ball would have enjoyed this unfortunate schoolboy error after his death aged 76

Very sad news today that actor and comedian Bobby Ball – an ’ 80s Saturday teatime staple in our house @ @ @ @ @ great Cannon and Ball – has died aged 76 .
The comedian ’ s death @ @ @ @ @ comes after he was diagnosed with Covid-19 .
The internet was full of loving tributes @ @ @ @ @ Except some of them were more accurate than others and this schoolboy error was most @ @ @ @ @ have confused Bobby Ball with Professor Robert Winston .
I think Bobby is looking down @ @ @ @ @ this , ’ said @ GrantTucker over on Twitter .
Almost , but not quite @ @ @ @ @ far too much information … And the HuffPost later apologised for the error .
This @ @ @ @ @ to finish .

Twitter
Very sad news today that actor and comedian Bobby Ball – an ’80s Saturday teatime staple in our house as one half of the great Cannon and Ball – has died aged 76.
The comedian’s death was announced on Thursday and comes after he was diagnosed with Covid-19.
The internet was full of loving tributes to the great man.
So sad to hear of the passing of Bobby Ball, one of my absolute favourite performers growing up and one of our favourite ever camp mates on @imacelebrity. Rest In Peace Bobby 🙏 #RockOnTommy
D — antanddec (@antanddec) October 29, 2020
35yrs ago my HERO became my friend,You always knew when Bobby was in the room, he could make you laugh & cry with just a look.The biggest heart & warmest smile that filled stages everywhere.I loved you bobby ball and I always will ,Truly truly one of a kind .sleep well cocker! ❤ pic.twitter.com/NC83NXf5N0 — Shane Richie (@realshanerichie) October 29, 2020
I’m so terribly sad to hear that the brilliant Bobby Ball has died. Apparently he had corona virus. God bless your beautiful soul Bobby.
You were so funny and lovely. Rest in peace Bob. Xxx — Kate Robbins (@KateRobbins) October 29, 2020
Except some of them were more accurate than others and this schoolboy error was most unfortunate.
‘Huffington Post have confused Bobby Ball with Professor Robert Winston. I think Bobby is looking down and laughing very hard at this,’ said @GrantTucker over on Twitter.
Almost, but not quite.
At the risk of far too much information …
It was captioned wrong by Getty, they’ve literally just updated the listing on their site pic.twitter.com/WvxnGqUhSY — Stuart Leech (@stuartleech) October 29, 2020
And the HuffPost later apologised for the error.
This is surely the only way to finish.
RIP Bobby Ball.
READ MORE
People are enjoying Lee Mack’s Pointless story about Bobby Ball
Source Twitter @stuartleech


thepoke--2020-10-29--12 of the best coronavirus jokes taking a lighter look at the news

As the UK plays ‘ Join the Hot Spots ’ with coronavirus spikes , people are struggling to work out @ @ @ @ @ tinned food and flour for ‘ Lockdown 2 : the Revenge ‘ or ‘ No @ @ @ @ @ ’ t Project Fear ‘ .
In spite , or because , of that – @ @ @ @ @ us entertained with their takes on the pandemic , as well as how our fearless @ @ @ @ @ .
These are our current favourites .
Tiers , schools and clapping – the 11 @ @ @ @ @ about the pandemic

Twitter
As the UK plays ‘Join the Hot Spots’ with coronavirus spikes, people are struggling to work out whether they’re hoarding tinned food and flour for ‘Lockdown 2: the Revenge‘ or ‘No Deal Brexit: It wasn’t Project Fear‘.
In spite, or because, of that – funny tweeters have been keeping us entertained with their takes on the pandemic, as well as how our fearless leaders are dealing with it.
These are our current favourites.
1.
Oxford scientists are confident a new vaccine for Covid19 will be available soon but Morag on Facebook says her mate watched a YouTube video & it's really about implanting tiny microchips in our blood stream so the government can track us.
I don't know what to believe anymore — joe heenan (@joeheenan) October 27, 2020
2.
‘Ring o’rosies’ is supposedly about the plague. I really feel sorry for kids in 100 years time that’ll be singing a nursery rhyme about ‘hands, face, space’ or ‘my uncle says it’s not as bad as the flu, cough cough cough, now it’s got you’. — Tiernan ‘Monsters Would Be Relief tbh’ Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) October 24, 2020
3.
2019: You must be over 18 to enter 2020: You must be over COVID-19 to enter. — Daveastated (@Daveastated) October 21, 2020
4.
5.
6.
Lockdown 1: Most glorious spring weather ever recorded. Lockdown 2: Pissing rain. Clocks go back. Wife determined to watch Strictly. — Tom Peck (@tompeck) October 24, 2020
7.
Not sure how I feel about Welsh gov stopping shops from selling non-essential goods.
On one hand, a guy’s post on Facebook says people can’t buy books & expand their minds.
On the other hand, the accompanying photo of a Tesco book display includes Jamie Redknapp’s autobiography. — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) October 25, 2020
8.
2020 could be worse. Gwyneth Paltrow could release a line of scented face masks. — Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 25, 2020
9.
no. 10 considering new 'terrifying' Tier 4 proposals which means everything has to close apart from Wetherspoons — dave ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) October 25, 2020
10.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They spend the evening trying to convince the barman that they are all from the same household. — Rosie Jones (@josierones) October 28, 2020
11.
12.
The first draft of the Jerry Maguire catchphrase wasn’t as snappy https://t.co/LmhWHc6i9u — Michael Hogan (@michaelhogan) October 27, 2020
One last thing –
Police warn they could enter homes to break up Christmas dinners, coming as welcome news to families who’ve wished for that for years. — Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) October 28, 2020
There’s always a silver lining.
READ MORE
Tiers, schools and clapping – the 11 funniest things people are saying about the pandemic
Image Greg Willson and Seth Weisfeld on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-10-29--People are enjoying Lee Mack’s Pointless story about Bobby Ball

Sad news today that Bobby Ball has died aged 76 .
One of half of comedy double act Cannon and @ @ @ @ @ after the actor and comedian was tested positive for Covid-19 .
There ’ s been @ @ @ @ @ on Twitter .
And people particularly enjoyed this clip of Lee Mack , telling Richard @ @ @ @ @ pair went on BBC1 ’ s Pointless .
We also enjoyed this Cannon and Ball @ @ @ @ @ great Rik Mayall .

Videos
Sad news today that Bobby Ball has died aged 76. One of half of comedy double act Cannon and Ball, his death comes after the actor and comedian was tested positive for Covid-19.
There’s been no end of loving tributes on Twitter.
So sad to hear about Bobby Ball. He was such a treat to work with. Never stopped making us all laugh. We’ll miss you Bobby! pic.twitter.com/6XfMu4fsnw — Diane Morgan (@missdianemorgan) October 29, 2020
Just heard the sad news that the wonderful Bobby Ball has died. He was a true entertainer with real funny bones. Thoughts with Tommy,Yvonne and his family at this sad time. RIP Bobby — Les Dennis (@LesDennis) October 29, 2020
So heartbroken to read about the passing of comedy legend Bobby Ball. Such a hilarious man. The comedy community is a poorer place without him. ❤💔 #RockOn #RIPBobbyBall pic.twitter.com/CP74RSPEx4 — Jason Manford (@JasonManford) October 29, 2020
And people particularly enjoyed this clip of Lee Mack and a wonderful story he told Richard Herring about the time he went on BBC1’s Pointless with the great man.
Will never forget Lee Mack telling @Herring1967 about the time he went on Pointless with Bobby Ball pic.twitter.com/b0R3tioWrI — Sophie Davies (@ItsSophieDavies) October 29, 2020
I don't know about you, but I'm going raise a can of Appleson to Bobby tonight. — Stephen C (@SCatlingAuthor) October 29, 2020
We also enjoyed this Cannon and Ball sketch featuring Rik Mayall.
Bobby Ball v Rik Mayall on The Cannon and Ball was one of the most enjoyably anarchic things I've ever seen. pic.twitter.com/FzSluXeO8L — Cameron Yarde Jnr (@CameronYardeJnr) October 29, 2020
RIP Bobby Ball.
Very sorry to hear of the death of Bobby Ball of Coronavirus aged 76…..RIP Bobby (here singing Together We’ll Be OK with his friend & comedy partner Tommy Cannon) pic.twitter.com/vChygXEKLk — John Pitchford🌹💙 (@Johnnypapa64) October 29, 2020
Source @ItsSophieDavies


thepoke--2020-10-29--Nigel Farage said Donald Trump’s the ‘bravest person’ he’s ever met – 9 perfect takedowns

In what is surely a better indicator of how Donald Trump ’ s election campaign is going than any opinion @ @ @ @ @ invited a special guest speaker to his latest rally in Arizona .
And here ’ @ @ @ @ @ , Google – Brexit Party leader had to say .
Farage ’ s appearance prompted @ @ @ @ @ as you might imagine .
Here are our favourites .
Trump claims Californians have “ @ @ @ @ @ can ’ t take off – 9 blistering takedowns

Twitter
In what is surely a better indicator of how Donald Trump’s election campaign is going than any opinion poll, the so-called president invited a special guest speaker to his latest rally in Arizona.
Nigel Farage.
And here’s what the – Google, Google – Brexit Party leader had to say.
Nigel Farage describes Donald Trump as the ‘single most resilient and bravest person I’ve ever met in my life’ after the US president brought him on stage at a rally in Arizona pic.twitter.com/3st80ZhlQQ — ITV News (@itvnews) October 28, 2020
Farage’s appearance prompted no shortage of comment, as you might imagine. Here are our favourites.
1.
Imagine being so desperate that you call in Farage to big you up. It's embarrassing mate.pic.twitter.com/1Dd0Zlq53v — Otto English (@Otto_English) October 28, 2020
2.
A guy who shat out of serving his country by citing heel spurs is the bravest person Farage has ever met. He is telling the world that he is one crapping bastard or doesn’t get out much. https://t.co/KDbebiXOjV — Irvine Welsh (@IrvineWelsh) October 29, 2020
3.
Imagine literally any other American president stumping for reelection in [checks] Arizona with [checks] a British guy representing a fringe party that has [checks] zero (0) seats in British government https://t.co/i5IgZbNQLg — Adam Weinstein (@AdamWeinstein) October 28, 2020
4.
How low on support must he be to invite Nigel Farage on stage. This is like Morrissey during his racist years being supported by the surviving members of a shit Kajagoogoo cover band. https://t.co/jkVEBdmmYQ — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 29, 2020
5.
6.
America, please don’t think this is the United Kingdom endorsing Donald Trump. It isn’t. The whole world hates him. And Nigel Farage. The end. #BidenHarris2020 pic.twitter.com/JsirRFkYUa — Dr. Jennifer Cassidy (@OxfordDiplomat) October 29, 2020
7.
Imagine Nigel Farage was yer da. Imagine he was up there saying that. Even if you were as right wing as he is, imagine seeing him lick the feet of another human in that way. Bowing down so low. https://t.co/bcQV3NV1WU — Limmy (@DaftLimmy) October 29, 2020
8.
I can't believe the bravest person Nigel Farage has ever met somehow dodged the draft five times. https://t.co/v0d7et2Cyt — Michael Govern Ready (@mikegove12) October 29, 2020
9.
He's not going to shag you. https://t.co/uzl5KxhRql — cluedont (@cluedont) October 29, 2020
READ MORE
Trump claims Californians have “a special mask” they can’t take off – 9 blistering takedowns
Source @itvnews Image screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-29--This US election ad brutally uses a job interview to ask “Would you hire Trump?”

The battle for the White House could be won or lost on the small screen , as millions of Americans @ @ @ @ @ both candidates .
Win America Back…PAC is dedicated to producing campaign ads that shine a @ @ @ @ @ and not in a good way .
Their latest production pitches the election as a @ @ @ @ @ is – and we can ’ t help feeling it ’ s a winner .
@ @ @ @ @ job ?
We doubt these people would .
Finally , a word from the man @ @ @ @ @ Whatever happens in the election , Joe Biden wins the prize for the best campaign @

Videos
The battle for the White House could be won or lost on the small screen, as millions of Americans see advert after advert for both candidates.
Win America Back…PAC is dedicated to producing campaign ads that shine a light on the incumbent, and not in a good way.
Their latest production pitches the election as a job interview, which it is – and we can’t help feeling it’s a winner.
Atlantic City casino …oh, it went bankrupt. Education is so important. Ceased operation due to multiple fraud investigations.
Would you give him the job? We doubt these people would.
As good an ad about Trump as I've seen. I hope you'll retweet it. pic.twitter.com/G5e5L0HyRu — Seth Abramson (@SethAbramson) October 29, 2020
THIS IS BRILLIANT https://t.co/JQ3kKcJmLB — Josh Gad (@joshgad) October 29, 2020
This is really well done and hilarious and funny and terrifying it even needed to be made. https://t.co/k8iJ9R36sN — Judd Apatow (@JuddApatow) October 29, 2020
You're gonna want some hand sanitizer for this. 🙏 https://t.co/fSh8GLlCcW — Devin Nunes' Alt-Mom (@NunesAlt) October 29, 2020
Tom Coates summed it up.
This is the one for me. Perfect. It shows him for what he is, not a great bombastic showman, but a little man who fails. pic.twitter.com/0STDkzWJxJ — Tom Coates (@tomcoates) October 29, 2020
Finally, a word from the man himself – sort of.
Just went on a job interview with @WinAmrcaBackPAC. I aced it. I aced the interview! Please share. Thank you! pic.twitter.com/cvXJOqpPp9 — Donald J. Drumpf (@RealDonalDrumpf) October 29, 2020
READ MORE
Whatever happens in the election, Joe Biden wins the prize for the best campaign ad
Source Win America Back…PAC Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-29--Need some inspiration for your Halloween 2020 pumpkin? 17 spooky suggestions

Although it ’ s highly unlikely that you ’ ll be throwing a Halloween party this year , given the @ @ @ @ @ across the UK and Ireland , you may still be considering carving yourself a festive @ @ @ @ @ 17 should hit the spot .
1 .
They may not have made much effort @ @ @ @ @ ’ s still terrifying .
2 .
Someone used next-level carving skills to create the @ @ @ @ @ .
The last time anything technically edible was this scary was when there was cabbage @ @ @ @ @ 4 .
Toothless – like you ’ ll be after eating the Trick or Treat @ @ @ @ @ there wouldn ’ t be anyone knocking .
5 .
One for the Tolkien fans @ @ @ @ @ , but very social media-friendly – the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills meme .
8 @ @ @ @ @ mind of Lovecraft .
9 .
Pumpkins don ’ t grow on trees , but @ @ @ @ @ , apparently .
These seemed particularly appropriate for 2020 .

Pics
Although it’s highly unlikely that you’ll be throwing a Halloween party this year, given the many and varied coronavirus restrictions across the UK and Ireland, you may still be considering carving yourself a festive pumpkin.
One of these 17 should hit the spot.
1. They may not have made much effort with the creation but it’s still terrifying.
Via
2. Someone used next-level carving skills to create the stuff of nightmares.
Via
3. The last time anything technically edible was this scary was when there was cabbage in the school dinner.
4. Toothless – like you’ll be after eating the Trick or Treat sweets you bought, knowing there wouldn’t be anyone knocking.
Via
5. One for the Tolkien fans.
Via
6. It’s your classic Frankenstein’s monster – Boris Karloff style.
Via
7. Less traditional, but very social media-friendly – the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills meme.
@FantomasSerg
8. Straight from the tortured mind of Lovecraft.
Via
9. Pumpkins don’t grow on trees, but trees can grow on pumpkins, apparently.
Via
These seemed particularly appropriate for 2020.
10. Everybody’s favourite lockdown guilty pleasure – Tiger King.
Via


thepoke--2020-10-29--“I challenge anyone to have a busier day than this young Tyrone man”

If you ’ re sick of Covid-19 , Brexit , Trump and MPs who won ’ t feed children , @ @ @ @ @ salve for your soul in the shape of 4-year-old Darragh O ’ Neill of Tyrone @ @ @ @ @ the day .
Not sure he ’ s completely on top of the market price @ @ @ @ @ .
Twitter – understandably – loved Darragh ’ s plans .
Here ’ s what @ @ @ @ @ the video , filmed by his mum Caroline on the family farm .
The short @ @ @ @ @ far had more than half a million views , had people wondering about the mysterious @ @ @ @ @ bonus , here ’ s Darragh with his brother , Pearse , discussing the difference @ @ @ @ @ bull – important information for farmers .
You can see more of the family ’ @ @ @ @ @ Twitter .
A 4-year-old picked this card for the cute picture – but the message @ @ @

Videos
If you’re sick of Covid-19, Brexit, Trump and MPs who won’t feed children, here’s a wonderful salve for your soul in the shape of 4-year-old Darragh O’Neill of Tyrone, outlining his plans for the day.
I challenge anyone to have a busier day than this young #Tyrone man. pic.twitter.com/uDgyrX178I — Darran Marshall (@DarranMarshall) October 25, 2020
He’s a busy man indeed.
Not sure he’s completely on top of the market price for a digger, though.
Twitter – understandably – loved Darragh’s plans. Here’s what they had to say about the video, filmed by his mum Caroline on the family farm.
This is absolutely brilliant https://t.co/jevbQS8hxU — Ian Leslie (@mrianleslie) October 27, 2020
Priceless, such a worker and so lovable. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 — Dana (@DanaFoley47) October 25, 2020
Small businesses are renowned for a busy work ethic – but Darragh has to the busiest small business owner around. The future is bright (and the enterprising genetics of this young man very strong) !! #youngenterprise #busyinbusiness https://t.co/hEAJzPAE5L — Roisin McAliskey (@FSBNIRegion) October 27, 2020
The short clip, which has so far had more than half a million views, had people wondering about the mysterious Ronan McAliskey.
Hoping to get Ronan McAliskey on the podcast — Shane Todd (@shanetodd) October 28, 2020
Be back soon. I’m away to see Ronan McAliskey about a wee dog here — Sam “Ace” Rothstein 🇪🇺 (@Conor1971) October 28, 2020
The next series of the Serial podcast is going to be a deep dive into the mystery that is Ronan McAliskey. — Alicia McCauley (@aliyoopers) October 26, 2020
As a bonus, here’s Darragh with his brother, Pearse, discussing the difference between a cow and a bull – important information for farmers.
Young Tyrone farmers Pearse and Darragh have an insightful conversation about the difference between a cow and a bull 🐄 🐮😂 pic.twitter.com/oy5zImYXKJ — Cool FM (@coolfm) June 13, 2020
You can see more of the family’s adventures on Facebook and Twitter.
READ MORE
A 4-year-old picked this card for the cute picture – but the message is less endearing
Source @diggforsuccess H/T de24news Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-29--Marcus Rashford asked Twitter to explain ‘virtue signalling’ – 8 beautiful shots on target

Over the past few years , an extraordinary accusation has become increasingly common in public discourse , and that is @ @ @ @ @ It appears to be an exclusively right-of-centre phrase , levelled at left-of-centre politicians or celebrities @ @ @ @ @ something for the good of others .
See also “ Lefty do-gooder “ .
The @ @ @ @ @ perceived slur is Marcus Rashford , for his efforts to *checks notes* ensure children don @ @ @ @ @ school holidays .
What a monster !
Of course , Marcus has plenty of defenders @ @ @ @ @ having scored a stunning hat-trick for Manchester United in the Champions League , he took @ @ @ @ @ .
Boris Johnson has refused Marcus Rashford ’ s request to feed hungry kids over @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
Over the past few years, an extraordinary accusation has become increasingly common in public discourse, and that is “virtue signaller“.
It appears to be an exclusively right-of-centre phrase, levelled at left-of-centre politicians or celebrities if they try to do something for the good of others. See also “Lefty do-gooder“.
The current favourite target of this perceived slur is Marcus Rashford, for his efforts to *checks notes* ensure children don’t go hungry during school holidays. What a monster!
The words that no one is allowed to say. Cudos to Rakib for not falling under the spell of the virtue signalling minority @MarcusRashford https://t.co/BIzKKU9Fx3 — Mike Graham 🍾 (@Iromg) October 24, 2020
Of course, Marcus has plenty of defenders.
There are two types of people in the world: 1) People who look at Marcus Rashford's timeline & feel a combination of warmth, concern & gratitude.
2) People who look at Marcus Rashford's timeline & feel compelled to sneer about 'virtue signalling'. We're governed by the latter. — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) October 23, 2020
I've something to say to those people accusing Marcus Rashford of virtue-signalling – fuck off. — Brian Moore (@brianmoore666) October 23, 2020
On Wednesday night, having scored a stunning hat-trick for Manchester United in the Champions League, he took to Twitter with a question.
On a serious note though, what is virtue signalling? — Marcus Rashford MBE (@MarcusRashford) October 28, 2020
I see the British Prime Minister is back to work after his spot of exercise tonight https://t.co/cryvzniVom — Dean Van Nguyen (@deanvannguyen) October 28, 2020
Man just took apart one of the best teams in the Bundesliga in less than half an hour and hopped online to pressure the government straight after sdfjkgsdfkjgsdjfkgsfdkgsdfgkj what a fanastic guy https://t.co/IaTD0eNkYW — Mogadishu Jones (@Stardogkilledme) October 28, 2020
These answers were pretty special.
1.
seems to mean accusing someone of doing an apparently virtuous thing, with secret aim of being seen as outward reflection of character rather than good in and of itself ..Interestingly, the act of accusing someone of virtue signalling, is arguably itself virtue signalling. — Faisal Islam (@faisalislam) October 28, 2020
2.
It's front bench MPs insisting we all clap-clap-clap for the NHS workers while simultaneously voting against them having a pay rise. https://t.co/DnoXuA8t8A — Sooz "Halloween" Kempner (@SoozUK) October 28, 2020
3.
It’s what clackwankers do when they get caught – blame you for their failings – you’re showing how kind you are, they hate that & they basically hate anyone holding a mirror up to their hateful haunted Victorian souls – or it’s a Goth band from Grimsby in the 90s- stay safe pal — Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) October 29, 2020
4.
projection by people who can only imagine doing something good if there’s glory in it for themselves. — James Bloodworth (@J_Bloodworth) October 28, 2020
5.
6.
The absolute opposite of vice signalling which is the space inhabited by people who try and use virtue signalling as an insult 😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇 — Fionna O'Leary, 🕯 (@fascinatorfun) October 28, 2020
7.
It’s how people without empathy interpret kindness. — Jools Evelyn (@joolsevelyn) October 28, 2020
8.
Imagine how Leipzig must feel knowing he put three past them while he was preoccupied thinking about this https://t.co/TnUEwAkL9V — Euan Healey (@euanspeaks) October 28, 2020
Political Sketch Writer, Tom Peck, put it into footballing terms.
It’s when people contrive to give off an impression of themselves that’s more virtuous than they actually are. In football it’s called ‘the West Ham way.’ — Tom Peck (@tompeck) October 28, 2020
via Gfycat
READ MORE
Boris Johnson has refused Marcus Rashford’s request to feed hungry kids over Christmas – 8 scathing takedowns
Source Marcus Rashford Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-29--Trump claims Californians have “a special mask” they can’t take off – 9 blistering takedowns

Donald Trump has said many stupid things during his time as President – and before that .
There are far too many to list them all , but as an illustration … There was the time he thought he was a professor of virology and he recommended ultra-violet light inside the body OR disinfectant administered to patients , as treatments for Covid-19 .
Who could forget the President claiming he had been treated worse than Abraham Lincoln ?
The assassinated president , Abraham Lincoln .
Of course , the fact that he ’ s in charge of his own Twitter @ @ @ @ @ @ @ this implication that cold weather somehow debunks climate change .
At his most recent rally – held in Arizona – Trump told the crowd about California ’ s unique masks .
Once again , we have the honour of presenting to you …how Twitter reacted to Trump ’ s outrageous nonsense .
For the avoidance of all doubt … However – before we all get on Trump ’ s case and accuse him of fake news , it ’ s just possible that he got his information from comedian Steve Allen , who @ @ @ @ @ @ @ rush to buy them .
Donald Trump compared his rally with Joe Biden ’ s and it ’ s the ultimate self-own

Weird World
Donald Trump has said many stupid things during his time as President – and before that.
There are far too many to list them all, but as an illustration …
There was the time he thought he was a professor of virology and he recommended ultra-violet light inside the body OR disinfectant administered to patients, as treatments for Covid-19.
"The disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning. It gets in the lungs" — Trump seems to suggests that injecting disinfectant inside people could be a treatment for the coronavirus pic.twitter.com/amis9Rphsm — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 23, 2020
Who could forget the President claiming he had been treated worse than Abraham Lincoln? The assassinated president, Abraham Lincoln.
At the Lincoln Memorial, Trump says he's being treated worse than Lincoln. pic.twitter.com/psZwWRE6WD — Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) May 4, 2020
Of course, the fact that he’s in charge of his own Twitter account means we also get nuggets like this implication that cold weather somehow debunks climate change.
Brutal and Extended Cold Blast could shatter ALL RECORDS – Whatever happened to Global Warming? — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 22, 2018
At his most recent rally – held in Arizona – Trump told the crowd about California’s unique masks.
TRUMP: "In California, you have a special mask. You cannot under any circumstances take it off. You have to eat through the mask. Right, right, Charlie? It's a very complex mechanism. And they don't realize those germs, they go through it like nothing." pic.twitter.com/SG2nF2FsrI — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) October 28, 2020
Once again, we have the honour of presenting to you …how Twitter reacted to Trump’s outrageous nonsense.
1.
"Hi, I am a crazy person. I repeat things that trees tell me. Also, I have complete control of nearly 1500 strategic nuclear weapons because 63 million people think I'm hilarious." https://t.co/hXf458P8t7 — Tom Nichols (@RadioFreeTom) October 28, 2020
2.
It's as if Trump throws a bunch of words in a Bingo Number Generator & pulls them out indiscriminately to make sentences. https://t.co/liEuIEExg2 — Emily Brandwin (@CIAspygirl) October 28, 2020
3.
The man with the nuclear codes is sundowning. This is very scary. https://t.co/n5BypJnw80 — Paul Krugman (@paulkrugman) October 28, 2020
4.
I can’t process all the people still going to his rallies and just cheering for any random, stupid, made up thing he says. Who the hell are these people? Like, I get it, you hate other people a lot, but you also think a good use of your time is going to see this guy say… this? https://t.co/XRLu47hvlQ — Eric Goldman (@TheEricGoldman) October 28, 2020
5.
He’s just a fucking liar who lies https://t.co/UOd68FaT0X — Molly Jong-Fast🏡 (@MollyJongFast) October 28, 2020
6.
Waterboarding myself with broth as I eat through my special mask at Tender Greens https://t.co/SA2DCg12ih — Ben Mekler (@benmekler) October 28, 2020
7.
This is such an absurd lie that if #Trump were #Pinocchio his nose would travel around the world. #VOTE https://t.co/qeISgiDXMg — Roberto Abramowitz (@RobAbramowitz) October 28, 2020
8.
"In California, you have a special mask. You cannot under any circumstances take it off. You have to eat through the mask." pic.twitter.com/raSMp9Hmre — Paul 👻 (@pablo_honey1) October 28, 2020
9.
This man shouldn't be in charge of anything. https://t.co/u2od2Vh8ae — S.E. Cupp (@secupp) October 28, 2020
For the avoidance of all doubt …
I live in California. I don’t eat through a mask. https://t.co/ruKIrIJNdN — Kyung Lah (@KyungLahCNN) October 28, 2020
However – before we all get on Trump’s case and accuse him of fake news, it’s just possible that he got his information from comedian Steve Allen, who did this:
Don’t all rush to buy them.
READ MORE
Donald Trump compared his rally with Joe Biden’s and it’s the ultimate self-own
Source Aaron Rupar Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-29--This AI camera kept mistaking the linesman’s bald head for the football and it’s fantastic

The relentless advance of technology means robots are replacing humans all over the place , except it ’ s reassuring @ @ @ @ @ ’ t always work out .
Take this so-called ‘ artificial intelligence ’ camera which @ @ @ @ @ replace , you know , actual human camera operators .
And it had a most @ @ @ @ @ unintended consequence during this Scottish fixture when it kept mistaking a linesman ’ s bald @ @ @ @ @ And this happened .
Surely the most fun you can have at a football match @ @ @ @ @ .
Last word to this person .

Sport
The relentless advance of technology means robots are replacing humans all over the place, except it’s reassuring to know that it doesn’t always work out.
Take this so-called ‘artificial intelligence’ camera which uses ball tracking technology to replace, you know, actual human camera operators.
And it had a most unfortunate – and hilarious – unintended consequence during this Scottish fixture when it kept mistaking a linesman’s bald head for the ball. And this happened.
Everything is terrible. Here's a football match last weekend that was ruined after the AI cameraman kept mistaking the linesman's bald head for a football.https://t.co/BsoQFqEHu0 pic.twitter.com/GC9z9L8wHf — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 29, 2020
Surely the most fun you can have at a football match without actually watching the ball.
Inverness Caledonian Thistle don’t employ a cameraman as their camera is programmed to follow the ball throughout the match. The commentator had to apologise today as the camera kept on mistaking the ball for the linesman’s head… pic.twitter.com/LeKsc2bEj7 — Tom Cox (@seagull81) October 24, 2020
Last word to this person.
Its a head of its time. — Peter Lyall (@missedmycue) October 29, 2020
READ MORE
Diabolically terrible layout of the week
Source @seagull81 @JimMFelton IFL Science


thepoke--2020-10-29--Takedown of the week

Takedown of the week

We don ’ t know a lot about Richard Cooper but his Twitter biography may well tell us all we @ @ @ @ @ , right .
Anyway , we only mention him because he suffered an uncomfortable moment @ @ @ @ @ happened and it ’ s our takedown of the week .
The exchange went viral @ @ @ @ @ everyone ’ s day just a little bit better .

Twitter
We don’t know a lot about Richard Cooper but his Twitter biography may well tell us all we need to know.
‘I crush comforting lies,’ he writes, ‘with uncomfortable truths on money, business & women.’
Ah, right. Anyway, we only mention him because he suffered an uncomfortable moment of his own after this happened and it’s our takedown of the week.
Oof.
The exchange went viral on Reddit and it made everyone’s day just a little bit better.
‘As if all men have abs …’ Benimation ‘As if women only train for abs for men 🙄🙄🙄’ MATTDAYYYYMON
READ MORE
Diabolically terrible layout of the week
Source Reddit u/theirishcoffeemaker u/humanitalian Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-10-29--Diabolically terrible layout of the week

There ’ s a subReddit called ‘ crappy design ’ and this is a classic of the genre , so @ @ @ @ @ offensive .
‘ Thought you had to read it in a circle .
Took me @ @ @ @ @ out , ’ said Redditor WaveNimbus who shared it .
It prompted no end of @ @ @ @ @ favourite comments .
‘ What ’ s crazy is it ’ s just standard left @ @ @ @ @ bottom… which makes the reader feel even more like an idiot upon finally figuring it @ @ @ @ @ ’ s a perfect diagram of a relationship .
You think you know how to @ @ @ @ @ you try that , you are obviously so terribly wrong and misguided because the whole @ @ @ @ @ mess.
’ joe1289 This cat trying to steal a treat from a dog is 10/10 @ @ @ @ @ execution

Weird World
There’s a subReddit called ‘crappy design’ and this is a classic of the genre, so bad it’s basically offensive.
‘Thought you had to read it in a circle. Took me a minute to figure it out,’ said Redditor WaveNimbus who shared it.
Only a minute?
It prompted no end of discussion and these are our favourite comments.
‘Brilliantly terrible layout A+.’ Snoo-5772 ‘What’s crazy is it’s just standard left to right, top to bottom… which makes the reader feel even more like an idiot upon finally figuring it out.’ OfficialSilkyJohnson ‘It’s a perfect diagram of a relationship. You think you know how to navigate it, but when you try that, you are obviously so terribly wrong and misguided because the whole thing is such a complicated mess.’ joe1289
READ MORE
This cat trying to steal a treat from a dog is 10/10 for planning, 0/10 for execution
Source Reddit u/WaveNimbus


thepoke--2020-10-29--This cat trying to steal a treat from a dog is 10/10 for planning, 0/10 for execution

This clip of a cat trying to steal a treat from a dog has just gone viral on the subReddit @ @ @ @ @ reasons that will rapidly become obvious .
‘ Great planning but poor execution … ’ @ @ @ @ @ it .
Ouch .
And just a few of the comments it prompted .
‘ @ @ @ @ @ .
…..but still very focused on eating that snack !
!
’ FrnklnvillesRevenge ‘ The @ @ @ @ @ !
And then shouted at the dog.
’ fozziwoo ‘ Baby playing with daddy ’ @ @ @ @ @ content we needed today

Videos
This clip of a cat trying to steal a treat from a dog has just gone viral on the subReddit ‘instant karma’ for reasons that will rapidly become obvious.
‘Great planning but poor execution …’ said Redditor Mrs3anw who shared it.
Ouch. And just a few of the comments it prompted.
‘Poor puppy was immediately sorry. …..but still very focused on eating that snack!!’ FrnklnvillesRevenge ‘The cat’s expression … so relatable.’ reflection-_ ‘The way he shook his arm! And then shouted at the dog.’ fozziwoo
READ MORE
‘Baby playing with daddy’s mask’ is the content we needed today
Source Reddit u/Mrs3anw YouTube


thepoke--2020-10-29--This lone man booing Ivanka Trump is rather heroic and a very funny watch

There ’ s something rather heroic – and very funny – about this lone man very enthusiastically booing Ivanka Trump @ @ @ @ @ after it was posted on TikTok and shared on Reddit .
He ’ s really @ @ @ @ @ isn ’ t he ?
‘ This guy has booed before .
I mean , @ @ @ @ @ Very impressive.
’ Berretay ‘ I hate the Trump family and everything they represent .
@ @ @ @ @ against them , but still , I don ’ t think I could sit there @ @ @ @ @ give them their due booing alone in a crowd .
This person is my hero.
@ @ @ @ @ IS NOT saying Boo-urns.
’ CleavonLittler ‘ I like to take videos of my wife @ @ @ @ @ m taking pictures ’ is childish but very funny

Videos
There’s something rather heroic – and very funny – about this lone man very enthusiastically booing Ivanka Trump.
The clip went viral after it was posted on TikTok and shared on Reddit.
He’s really giving it his all, isn’t he?
‘This guy has booed before. I mean, look at his form. Very impressive.’ Berretay ‘That’s some solid booing.’ Kangar ‘Princess Bride quality.’ reubenhurricane ‘I hate the Trump family and everything they represent. I have walked at protests against them, but still, I don’t think I could sit there with balls that big and give them their due booing alone in a crowd. This person is my hero.’ Omninaut ‘He definitely IS NOT saying Boo-urns.’ CleavonLittler
READ MORE
‘I like to take videos of my wife and tell her I’m taking pictures’ is childish but very funny
Source TikTok @cjtish Reddit u/Nowthatisfresh


thepoke--2020-10-30--Simply 21 times the recipe didn’t go entirely to plan

We tend not to get too ambitious in the kitchen and most of what we do is probably more accurately @ @ @ @ @ rather than ‘ cooking ’ .
But if we do try something more than a @ @ @ @ @ are it will end up something like this , 17 examples of times the recipe @ @ @ @ @ to plan , as collated by the good people of Bored Panda .
Tonight was @ @ @ @ @ house so I decided to cook a traditional dish from Pompeii We tried to make @ @ @ @ @ a friend of my girlfriend made a cake for her daughters birthday party .
One @ @ @ @ @ because it was so ugly .
My Eggs With Rice This Morning Wife Came Home @ @ @ @ @ what defeat looks like … ’ And you can find a whole lot more of @ @ @ @ @ at Bored Panda .
This viral video of cheese in a ‘ chocolate fountain ’ @ @ @

Pics
We tend not to get too ambitious in the kitchen and most of what we do is probably more accurately described as ‘heating’ rather than ‘cooking’.
But if we do try something more than a tiny bit complicated, chances are it will end up something like this, 17 examples of times the recipe didn’t entirely go to plan, as collated by the good people of Bored Panda.
1. Tonight was foreign culture night in my house so I decided to cook a traditional dish from Pompeii
(via)
2. We tried to make “Ladybug Rolls”
(via)
3. Just don’t ask
(via)
4. ‘Smiley faces’
(via)
5. So a friend of my girlfriend made a cake for her daughters birthday party. One of the kids started crying because it was so ugly.
(via)
6. ‘Lighthouse cookies’
#StayAtHome & be productive. I’m not much of a baker. I can cook alright, but baking…not so much. So, today I tried my hand at some lighthouse cookies, since I’m from Florida. How do you think they turned out? pic.twitter.com/kKmB07XPmB — Justice Seeker ~ #WearAMask (@tizzywoman) March 28, 2020
(via)
7. My ‘Eggs With Rice’ this morning
(via)
8. I forgot I was making caramel at work. It’s a tad overcooked
(via)
9. ‘Not socially distancing’
https://twitter.com/yasminesalam_/status/1243308228223684609
(via)
10. Wife Came Home To This
(via)
11. Found the spoon, honey
(via)


thepoke--2020-10-30--Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had the best takedown of a Fox News host who trolled her photoshoot

As you may very well have seen by now , Republican congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez attracted lots of attention this week @ @ @ @ @ cover of Vanity Fair .
Lots of people loved it , of course , all @ @ @ @ @ who sought to make political capital out of it by pointing out the very expensive @ @ @ @ @ .
And Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had the perfect three-part response .
It ’ s the second @ @ @ @ @ .
And she also had some advice for Republicans generally … This devastating takedown of @ @ @ @ @ went viral because it ’ s so brutal

Twitter
As you may very well have seen by now, Democratic congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez attracted lots of attention this week after she appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair.
Presenting our December cover star: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez! Two elections in, the congresswoman is still fighting the fight—and she’s as sure as she’s ever been. Read the @AOC cover story now. Photograph by Tyler Mitchell. https://t.co/xAbI0YAekC pic.twitter.com/lEeKmw5mGh — VANITY FAIR (@VanityFair) October 28, 2020
Lots of people loved it, of course, all except those who saw an opportunity to make political capital out of it by pointing out the very expensive clothes she was photographed in.
AOC on the cover of Vanity Fair. The clothes are estimated to cost $14,000. So happy that AOC is upholding the long established hypocritical tradition of Socialists who believe Socialism is for poor while they enjoy the fruits of Capitalism. pic.twitter.com/g8iTa1my1q — Sunanda Vashisht (@sunandavashisht) October 29, 2020
Here’s what Fox News presenter Laura Ingraham had to say.
AOC appears in Vanity Fair in outfits worth $14,000 to curse out Trump | Fox News https://t.co/6UlLQs9uCp — Laura Ingraham (@IngrahamAngle) October 29, 2020
And Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had the perfect three-part response.
https://twitter.com/AOC/status/1321870748068315141?s=20
(& I don’t know if you’ve been in a photoshoot Laura, but you don’t keep the clothes.) — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) October 29, 2020
The whole “she wore clothes in a magazine, let’s pretend they’re hers” gimmick is the classic Republican strategy of “let’s willfully act stupid, and if the public doesn’t take our performative stupidity seriously then we’ll claim bias.” GOP, get yourselves together. It’s sad. — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) October 29, 2020
It’s the second part that surely burns hottest.
“I don’t know if you’ve been in a photoshoot Laura …”
Oof.
And she also had some advice for Republicans generally …
Republicans are Very Mad (again) about my appearance. This time they’re mad that I look good in borrowed clothes (again). Listen, if Republicans want pointers on looking your best, I’m happy to share. Tip #1: Drink water and don’t be racist — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) October 29, 2020
BOOM.
Hahhahah I love this and the suBtle shade https://t.co/xCQub8VciJ — Stephanie Beatriz (@iamstephbeatz) October 29, 2020
This person is not only brilliant she's funny as hell. https://t.co/BjdTUWVq9I — Vincent D'Onofrio (@vincentdonofrio) October 29, 2020
I am deeply cynical about politicians, but…man I like AOC so much https://t.co/9xZCxLMgkW — priscilla page (@BBW_BFF) October 30, 2020
READ MORE
This devastating takedown of a Republican senator over Covid-19 went viral because it’s so brutal
Source Twitter @AOC H/T Indy100


thepoke--2020-10-30--Halloween 2020 spooktacular: our 28 favourite tweets

Ghouls and creeps and things that go bump in the night – but enough about the current Cabinet – Halloween @ @ @ @ @ the funny people of Twitter haven ’ t let it go unremarked .
These are @ @ @ @ @ ve spotted .

Twitter
Ghouls and creeps and things that go bump in the night – but enough about the current Cabinet – Halloween is almost here, and the funny people of Twitter haven’t let it go unremarked.
These are the funniest offerings we’ve spotted.
1.
Can't afford Halloween decorations this year so I've made my own pic.twitter.com/L7x8zQEqdL — joe heenan (@joeheenan) October 28, 2020
2.
That’s my Halloween costume sorted pic.twitter.com/RTjvoJ0TFv — Summer Ray (@SummerRay) October 12, 2020
3.
I'm nervous that COVID will ruin the Halloween tradition of throwing those little boxes of raisins in the garbage. — Michael A. Balazo (@mbalazo) October 15, 2020
4.
I could come face-to-face with a realass werewolf this Halloween and it still wouldn't rank in the top ten scariest shit I've seen in 2020. — Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 14, 2020
5.
If I was a charismatic activist who could be arsed, I'd arrange for two million kids in zombie costumes to trick or treat Downing Street asking for dinner this weekend. — Fergus Craig (@FergusCraig) October 26, 2020
6.
People are all mad that Halloween is “canceled” as if 2020 hasn’t already been one long fucking horror movie. — Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) October 7, 2020
7.
Last year Halloween costumes
– vampire
– witch
– a spooky ghost This year
– man who stands ever so slightly too close to you in a queue — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 8, 2020
8.
9.
This Halloween, I will be dressing as your most RTd tweet with a typo in it. — Jason (@NickMotown) October 11, 2020
10.
Hear me out. T shirt cannons with trick or treat candy in them — Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) October 27, 2020
11.
Costumes for Halloween 2020:
Sexy mask-worn-under-the-nose
Sexy price gouged yeast
Sexy unavailable Tesco delivery slot
Sexy Zoom quiz
Sexy hoarded loo roll
Sexy virus-denier
Sexy Chris Whitty
Witch — Mitten d'Amour (@MittenDAmour) October 11, 2020
12.
satan: join me. you’ll have power. the finest things. beautiful clothes. new witch: sounds great satan: you’ll travel the world new witch: one question, how will i get around? satan: ok lol i know how this is gonna sound — nate of the living dead (@MNateShyamalan) October 27, 2020
13.
Dave, I… know your wife just left you by text but we REALLY need to get the photo for the Vlad wig box before you go home so- can you just pop on the cape? pic.twitter.com/3L9jVeCUXk — Zoë Tomalin (@ZoeTomalin) October 15, 2020
14.


thepoke--2020-10-30--This devastating takedown of a Republican senator over Covid-19 went viral because it’s so brutal

We have to confess we hadn ’ t come across Georgia Democratic Senate candidate Jon Ossoff before , nor had @ @ @ @ @ he ’ s trying to unseat at next week ’ s elections , Republican Senator @ @ @ @ @ ’ re unlikely to forget him in a hurry after this devastating takedown in an @ @ @ @ @ s record on Covid-19 and healthcare ( among other things ) which went viral because @ @ @ @ @ particularly gruesome kill in a David Attenborough documentary .
And just a few of the @ @ @ @ @ it … And then – guess what ?
– this happened .
Fox News said @ @ @ @ @ documents got lost in the post and the takedowns were 1st class

Videos
We have to confess we hadn’t come across Georgia Democratic Senate candidate Jon Ossoff before, nor had we heard of the man he’s trying to unseat at next week’s elections, Republican Senator David Perdue.
But we’re unlikely to forget him in a hurry after this devastating takedown in an election debate over Perdue’s record on Covid-19 and healthcare (among other things).
It went viral because it’s like a particularly gruesome kill in a David Attenborough documentary and it’s 72 seconds very well spent.
David Perdue lined his own pockets – trading medical stocks and dumping casino shares – while he lied to us about the threat of a virus that’s now killed over 220,000 Americans. He doesn’t deserve to be re-elected. #GASen #GASenDebate pic.twitter.com/5iW8wsrpGq — Jon Ossoff (@ossoff) October 29, 2020
Oof.
And just a few of the things people were saying about it …
https://twitter.com/GAFollowers/status/1321746320462389249?s=20
"It's not just that you're a crook, Senator" may be one of the best lines I've ever heard in a debate. Georgia, you deserve better than this conman who got rich off the pandemic. Vote for @Ossoff.pic.twitter.com/aSAHrWtqlz — Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) October 29, 2020
So what happened after this? Did they just end the debate by KO? Has anyone heard from Perdue since? SHEESH!! pic.twitter.com/3M5pVgjS9x — Brett Meiselas (@BMeiselas) October 29, 2020
Cleanup on aisle 1. https://t.co/P6FZdAQBYC — Bradley Whitford (@BradleyWhitford) October 29, 2020
And then – guess what? – this happened.
BREAKING: Senator Perdue just cancelled our final debate. At last night's debate, millions saw that Perdue had no answers when I called him out on his record of blatant corruption, widespread disease, and economic devastation. Shame on you, Senator. — Jon Ossoff (@ossoff) October 29, 2020
We’re with this person.
ive seen this clip like ten times on twitter today and i cant stop watching it. he’s also rly hot — JJakez (@JJakez_) October 29, 2020
To conclude.
Well, this seems pretty clear. https://t.co/qU7NHE9USj — Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) October 30, 2020
READ MORE
Fox News said their ‘damning’ Biden documents got lost in the post and the takedowns were 1st class
Source Twitter @ossoff


thepoke--2020-10-30--Kim Kardashian got a hologram of her late father as a birthday present from Kanye West – 9 drop dead

Kim Kardashian got a hologram of her late father as a birthday present from Kanye West – 9 drop dead funny responses

There ’ s only one hologram everyone ’ s talking about today , and that ’ s the hologram of @ @ @ @ @ dead father Robert which husband Kanye West bought her for her 40th birthday .
And @ @ @ @ @ know where to start .
Fortunately for us , these people did , our 9 @ @ @ @ @ about it .
Surely we all know the right answer .
Kim Kardashian West ’ @ @ @ @ @ went down like a cough in a lift

Twitter
There’s only one hologram everyone’s talking about today, and that’s the hologram of Kim Kardishian West’s dead father Robert which husband Kanye West bought her for her 40th birthday.
For my birthday, Kanye got me the most thoughtful gift of a lifetime. A special surprise from heaven. A hologram of my dad. ✨🤍 It is so lifelike! We watched it over and over, filled with emotion. pic.twitter.com/jD6pHo17KC — Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) October 29, 2020
And we honestly don’t know where to start. Fortunately for us, these people did, our 9 favourite funny things people said about it.
1.
one of our haunted mansion holograms has escaped https://t.co/USoGtHe73X — Disneyland (@Disneyland2go) October 30, 2020
2.
I did something similiar for my friend’s birthday, though i didn’t have money for a hologram so I just dug up his dad’s corpse instead — Dolan Dark (@DolanDark) October 30, 2020
3.
Kanye really made the Robert Kardashian hologram call him “the most, most, most, most, most genius man in the whole world.” https://t.co/5PZWHuZs8h — Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) October 29, 2020
4.
Eric Trump calling Kanye: Can you make me a hologram of MY dad? https://t.co/ihVIzsdE33 — The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) October 30, 2020
5.
Watching the hologram of Robert Kardashian makes me think “he really does look like David Schwimmer.” pic.twitter.com/AH2k7LEgck — Alejandro Guerra (@Cinephile420) October 30, 2020
6.
"230k people died but hey, enjoy this hologram of my dead dad because we're so rich we can recreate our dead family members. Enjoy your 2-D photos of nana you broke bitch!" https://t.co/hpX821cvJh — Travon Free (@Travon) October 30, 2020
7.
I NEVER WANT THIS! DONT EVER DO THIS FOR ME BEN! FULL STOP! https://t.co/yHiCflriOb — Meghan McCain (@MeghanMcCain) October 30, 2020
8.
So you’re telling me that Robert Kardashian came back in a hologram and just forgot to mention whether or not OJ did it? The audacity of these people I swear. https://t.co/Wwn0kMnMq0 — Katie Nawrocki (@KatieNawrocki14) October 30, 2020
9.
FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CAN WE TAX THE RICH https://t.co/QamIEqhnOS — maura quint (@behindyourback) October 30, 2020
Only one question remained.
is this deeply fucked up or is it good https://t.co/7WEyL4e4tw — Cody Johnston (@drmistercody) October 29, 2020
Surely we all know the right answer.
There was also this.
Rich people getting ghost holograms for their birthday whilst the rest of us have to do séances and accidentally summon demons like the peasants we are — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) October 30, 2020
And finally, this.
I see Kim has upped the relatability since the private island tweet. https://t.co/kV9A87LNY0 — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) October 30, 2020
READ MORE
Kim Kardashian West’s private island birthday party went down like a cough in a lift
Source @kimkardashian


thepoke--2020-10-30--This  viral video of cheese in a ‘chocolate fountain’ is hilariously disastrous

Videos of people eating noisily , known as ‘ mukbang ’ , are a big deal in South Korea .
@ @ @ @ @ scene , YouTuber Tasty Hoon has found himself going viral with just his third upload @ @ @ @ @ , he combines the concepts of cheese fondue and chocolate fountains , and it ’ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s not a roaring success – apart from the viral thing .
You can @ @ @ @ @ , but this is the money shot .
We ’ re reasonably certain the tears @ @ @ @ @ try not to worry too much .
Twitter loved the hilarious disaster , and here @ @ @ @ @ they had to say about it .
Because somebody had to say it … Can @ @ @ @ @ loud eating sounds ?
These people couldn ’ t

Pics
Videos of people eating noisily, known as ‘mukbang’, are a big deal in South Korea. One relative newcomer to the scene, YouTuber Tasty Hoon has found himself going viral with just his third upload.
In the eight-minute post, he combines the concepts of cheese fondue and chocolate fountains, and it’s fair to say it’s not a roaring success – apart from the viral thing.
You can watch the full thing here, but this is the money shot.
Misophonia trigger warning – contains VERY audible chewing noises.
We’re reasonably certain the tears were for show, so try not to worry too much.
Writer @Panoparker shared the clip on Twitter.
Thinking about the guy that put cheese in a chocolate fountain pic.twitter.com/jZQ1krWcvI — Parker (@panoparker) October 29, 2020
Twitter loved the hilarious disaster, and here are some of the things they had to say about it.
It me It everything https://t.co/JoZHG7FnOm — Laura Hudson (@laura_hudson) October 29, 2020
Come for us, deadly cheese machine https://t.co/pXAyrCw9Y5 — Manytypesoftea (@manytypesoftea) October 29, 2020
How 2020 started and how it’s going. https://t.co/IVYpVKoX6V — Gene Murphy (@genemurphy) October 29, 2020
it's like something from a John Carpenter movie — 🎃death waiiiilan🎃 (@MrDavidWhelan) October 29, 2020
Because somebody had to say it …
Brexit explained in 30 seconds. https://t.co/RUPaqMyU48 — Steve Bray #HoldThemToAccount (@snb19692) October 30, 2020
READ MORE
Can you stand to listen to loud eating sounds? These people couldn’t
Source @panoparker Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-30--Fox News said their ‘damning’ Biden documents got lost in the post and the takedowns were 1st class

Spare a thought for Fox News presenter Tucker Carlson who appeared to suggest he had some bombshell documents relating to Joe Biden which he promised to share with viewers … only for them to get lost in the post !
The Fox News host Tucker Carlson has been mocked for his attempt to explain why he could not produce documents he had promised relating to Joe Biden , implying some kind of conspiracy .
Here ’ s what he had to say ( goes on a bit , relatively speaking , but it ’ s worth it ) .
“ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a collection of confidential documents related to the Biden family .
We believe those documents are authentic , they ’ re real , and they ’ re damning … We texted a producer in New York and we asked him to send those documents to us in LA … He shipped those documents overnight to California with a large national carrier brand … But the Biden documents never arrived in Los Angeles .
Tuesday morning we received word from the shipping company that our package had been opened and the contents were missing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ They searched the plane and the trucks that carried it , they went through the office in New York where our producer dropped that package off , they combed their entire cavernous sorting facility .
They used pictures of what we had sent so that searchers would know what to look for .
They went far and beyond .
But they found nothing , those documents have vanished .
As of tonight , the company has no idea – and no working theory even – about what happened to this trove of materials @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the presidential campaign.
” And if you think he was opening himself up for ridicule , you ’ d be absolutely right .
Here are our favourite 1st class takedowns .
And just to clear things up , the United Parcel Service ( UPS ) later confirmed that it had indeed lost , and then found , the package in question , reports the Guardian .
Phew , what a relief .
The Biden election campaign will presumably implode any time soon , just as soon as Tucker Carlson finds a letter opener @

Twitter
Spare a thought for Fox News presenter Tucker Carlson who appeared to suggest he had some bombshell documents relating to Joe Biden which he promised to share with viewers … only for them to get lost in the post.
Damning Hunter Biden documents suddenly vanish pic.twitter.com/B2qsajZlID — Tucker Carlson (@TuckerCarlson) October 29, 2020
Here’s what he had to say (goes on a bit, relatively speaking, but it’s worth it).
“On Monday we received from a source a collection of confidential documents related to the Biden family. We believe those documents are authentic, they’re real, and they’re damning … We texted a producer in New York and we asked him to send those documents to us in LA … He shipped those documents overnight to California with a large national carrier brand … But the Biden documents never arrived in Los Angeles. Tuesday morning we received word from the shipping company that our package had been opened and the contents were missing. The documents had disappeared. “They searched the plane and the trucks that carried it, they went through the office in New York where our producer dropped that package off, they combed their entire cavernous sorting facility. They used pictures of what we had sent so that searchers would know what to look for. They went far and beyond. But they found nothing, those documents have vanished. As of tonight, the company has no idea – and no working theory even – about what happened to this trove of materials, documents that are directly relevant to the presidential campaign.”
And if you think he was opening himself up for ridicule, you’d be absolutely right. Here are our favourite 1st class takedowns.
1.
Oh man looks like Tucker totally had the documents that were going to prove Hunter Biden's guilt but they got lost in the mail! What a believable turn of events! https://t.co/gioC1aGKmO — Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) October 29, 2020
2.
Did you make a copy like a normal person? — JT Lewis (@thejtlewis) October 29, 2020
3.
Maybe the documents went on a sudden mid-week fishing trip https://t.co/PxHlQqH27R — The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) October 29, 2020
4.
Ugh, I hate when I mail evidence of a Presidential candidate’s crimes and it just vanishes without a trace. Happens every damn time. — Paul 👻 (@pablo_honey1) October 29, 2020
5.
Have you guys heard of Dropbox? https://t.co/12HyHQttYt — Josh Barro (@jbarro) October 29, 2020
6.
I think we both know it was the pandas. pic.twitter.com/569eAPooYa — The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) October 29, 2020
7.
BREAKING!!!!!: BIGFOOT, WHO IS MY GIRLFRIEND IN SASKATCHEWAN, we met at camp last summer, totally hot, TOTALLY STOLE OUR HUNTER BIDEN DOCUMENTS I'M SUPER CEREAL 🤣 https://t.co/mVANhmLEZI — Eric Garland (@ericgarland) October 29, 2020
8.
Fox News *literally* won a court case by ‘persuasively’ arguing that no ‘reasonable viewer’ takes Tucker Carlson seriously. 🤡https://t.co/qHwUgUN5MX pic.twitter.com/vi7DDC2TIs — Anabel V (@Anabel_Villeroy) October 29, 2020
9.
BREAKING: burned out House of Cards writer pitches old Spin City episode https://t.co/RGcSliErQ4 — Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) October 29, 2020
10.
“I can’t release the Hunter Biden documents because they’re under audit!” — Trumpy Trumpy (parody) (@outofcontroljb) October 29, 2020
11.
12.
“If we only thought the documents were important, we would have made copies.” — Tea Pain (@TeaPainUSA) October 29, 2020
To conclude …
So let me get this straight… There was ONE SET of documents. Nobody made copies, made back-ups or took photos of the smoking gun that would take down the Democratic nominee. Yup…checks out. — WhatIfBarackOrHillarySaidIt 🌊😷🗳🏴☠ (@IfBarack) October 29, 2020
And just to clear things up, the United Parcel Service (UPS) later confirmed that it had indeed lost, and then found, the package in question, reports the Guardian.
Phew, what a relief. The Biden election campaign will presumably implode any time soon, just as soon as Tucker Carlson finds a letter opener.
READ MORE
This US election ad brutally uses a job interview to ask “Would you hire Trump?”
Source @TuckerCarlson


thepoke--2020-10-30--You can now buy a candle that smells of 2020 – and it’s as bad as you’d expect

If , for reasons we can ’ t currently fathom , you feel the need to experience the horrors of 2020 in the form of a scented candle , you ’ re in luck .
Online candle shop , Flaming Crap – great name – has created a scented candle with layers that represent many aspects of 2020 , and we think they may just have nailed it .
Here ’ s how it looks .
And this is the description on the website .
With four fragrant layers , this candle takes you on a sensual journey through the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ bread , hand sanitiser , DIY and wood musks , alongside budget aftershave and an earthy essence , that 2020 ’ s TV icon – Joe Exotic from ‘ Tiger King ’ would use to attract his next mate .
Short of adding a layer of bullshit to represent Dominic Cummings ‘ explanation of his trip to Barnard Castle , we can ’ t imagine how they could improve on that .
As a bonus , the packaging is environmentally friendly , recycled and vegan .
It ’ s a snip at £14.99 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ half Eat Out To Help Out discounts .
The scented layers may not be particularly complementary – or attractive in isolation , for that matter – but we strongly suspect they ’ d go really well with this other Flaming Crap product .
To see their whole range , visit their website or their Facebook page .
People got in a flap over Gwyneth Paltrow ’ s “ vagina-scented ” candle – the 18 funniest reactions

Pics
If, for reasons we can’t currently fathom, you feel the need to experience the horrors of 2020 in the form of a scented candle, you’re in luck.
Online candle shop, Flaming Crap – great name – has created a scented candle with layers that represent many aspects of 2020, and we think they may just have nailed it.
Here’s how it looks.
And this is the description on the website.
With four fragrant layers, this candle takes you on a sensual journey through the year. Featuring subtle scents of banana bread, hand sanitiser, DIY and wood musks, alongside budget aftershave and an earthy essence, that 2020’s TV icon – Joe Exotic from ‘Tiger King’ would use to attract his next mate.
Short of adding a layer of bullshit to represent Dominic Cummings‘ explanation of his trip to Barnard Castle, we can’t imagine how they could improve on that.
As a bonus, the packaging is environmentally friendly, recycled and vegan.
It’s a snip at £14.99, which is approximately one and a half Eat Out To Help Out discounts.
The scented layers may not be particularly complementary – or attractive in isolation, for that matter – but we strongly suspect they’d go really well with this other Flaming Crap product.
Eat your heart out, Gwyneth Paltrow.
To see their whole range, visit their website or their Facebook page.
READ MORE
People got in a flap over Gwyneth Paltrow’s “vagina-scented” candle – the 18 funniest reactions
Source Flaming Crap Image Flaming Crap, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-30--Melania Trump spoke out against hate and negativity – the only 5 gobsmacked reactions you need

In an even more surprising move than shipping over Nigel Farage and Katie Hopkins to speak at one of his @ @ @ @ @ managed to persuade his wife , Melania , to turn up .
Her contribution to @ @ @ @ @ crucial state of Florida , was this touching message of kindness .
If you heard @ @ @ @ @ was probably your irony meter giving up the ghost .
These five responses absolutely nailed @ @ @ @ @ have been fake but the jokes about her were very real – our 9 favourites

Twitter
In an even more surprising move than shipping over Nigel Farage and Katie Hopkins to speak at one of his rallies, Donald Trump somehow managed to persuade his wife, Melania, to turn up.
Her contribution to the event, in the crucial state of Florida, was this touching message of kindness.
Melania Trump in Tampa: "In a time when hate, negativity, & fear are the messages the media streams into our homes & the large tech companies are protecting political censorship, we need to remember what is really important: my husband's administration is focused on the future." pic.twitter.com/XYl3ZbejUU — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) October 29, 2020
via Gfycat
If you heard a crunching noise, it was probably your irony meter giving up the ghost.
These five responses absolutely nailed the consensus.
1.
Irony is dead. Clearly she’s not writing her own speeches. https://t.co/kSMW6mnPjQ — andrew j skerritt (@andrewjskerritt) October 29, 2020
2.
That is a serious case of cognitive dissonance ya got there Birther lady. https://t.co/fgSmn94Oiy — Andrea R MD (@AndreaR9Md) October 29, 2020
3.
Irony is screaming its fool head off at Hypocrisy and they are about to arm wrestle for the Are You Fucking Kidding Me award of 2020. https://t.co/FmBlcS5EZP — Aimee Giese (@Greeblehaus) October 29, 2020
4.
Looks like the pre-nup has been re-negotiated again. https://t.co/Vy9cKFqN5x — Charles Johnson (@Green_Footballs) October 29, 2020
5.
So she doesn't look at his Twitter, watch his interviews, or listen to him at rallies. Got it — Scareis🎃n F🎃x (@HarrisonRFox) October 29, 2020
In conclusion.
READ MORE
Melania may have been fake but the jokes about her were very real – our 9 favourites
Source Aaron Rupar Image Screengrab, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-30--People found Michael Gove’s response to Labour antisemitism hypocritical – 9 swift comebacks

The release on Thursday of a report by the Equality and Human Rights Commission into antisemitism in the Labour Party saw a bowling ball smash through the party ’ s skittles .
As well as the report stating that Labour had broken the law on several counts , Jeremy Corbyn ‘ s reaction included these words : “ One antisemite is one too many , but the scale of the problem was also dramatically overstated for political reasons by our opponents inside and outside the party , as well as by much of the media.
” This was judged to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the report ’ s findings and the Labour whip was withdrawn , pending an enquiry .
Of course , this was very divisive , setting different Labour factions at each other ’ s throats , so it was hardly surprising that Conservative commentators would seize the opportunity to condemn their opponents , including this public display of concern from Michael Gove .
His intervention went down about as well as you ’ d expect .
These reactions have it covered .
Twitter ’ s favourite intentional Michael Gove parody had something to add @ @ @ @ @ @ @ respond to that , presumably as he ’ s too busy following up on his party ’ s promise to investigate Islamophobia within its ranks .
Kay Burley ’ s forensic demolition of Michael Gove ’ s defence of Dominic Cummings is a very entertaining watch

Twitter
The release on Thursday of a report by the Equality and Human Rights Commission into antisemitism in the Labour Party saw a bowling ball smash through the party’s skittles.
As well as the report stating that Labour had broken the law on several counts, Jeremy Corbyn‘s reaction included these words:
“One antisemite is one too many, but the scale of the problem was also dramatically overstated for political reasons by our opponents inside and outside the party, as well as by much of the media.”
This was judged to be an indication of him not accepting the report’s findings and the Labour whip was withdrawn, pending an enquiry.
Of course, this was very divisive, setting different Labour factions at each other’s throats, so it was hardly surprising that Conservative commentators would seize the opportunity to condemn their opponents, including this public display of concern from Michael Gove.
All of us should be concerned about what has happened in the Labour Party in recent years. And today’s EHRC report underlines that. There are still important questions for Keir Starmer and so I have written to him seeking answers. pic.twitter.com/IE4qQ6ALMZ — Michael Gove (@michaelgove) October 29, 2020
His intervention went down about as well as you’d expect. These reactions have it covered.
1.
Shouldn’t you be painting white lines in the lorry parks? https://t.co/xDDL7XNToz — ALASTAIR CAMPBELL (@campbellclaret) October 29, 2020
2.
Hi, Michael. How's that Islamophobia enquiry coming? https://t.co/3a4UxVGBGh — Chris Addison (@mrchrisaddison) October 29, 2020
3.
With respect, do one. https://t.co/5tcMOzqtAU — Lucy Powell MP (@LucyMPowell) October 29, 2020
4.
I assume you’ll be releasing the report into islamaphobia in the Conservative Party imminently then. Oh and also … the Russian interference report ahem. We haven’t forgotten. https://t.co/VScVVFYVqv — Elizabeth Ammon (@legsidelizzy) October 29, 2020
5.
Oh look. The most notorious bullshit merchant in the entire country is trying to take a moral stand on something. I suggest he pisses off. https://t.co/A66stBLoWp — Graham Lithgow (@grahamlithgow) October 29, 2020
6.
7.
Slightly concerning Mr Gove feels this is how best to spend his time during the middle of a national crisis his government is supposed to be dealing with. Why no letters written to those responsible for track and trace debacle? https://t.co/5DFJ0aMd5l — Luke Edwards (@LukeEdwardsTele) October 29, 2020
8.
Pleased to see this. The true mark of a good-faith discourse is Michael Gove showing up and declaring himself an anti-racism champion https://t.co/dKEfOOyM5E — TheIainDuncanSmiths (@TheIDSmiths) October 29, 2020
9.
We haven't seen Michael Gove this excited about a whip being removed since he was on all fours with a rubber Nürnberger-rostbratwürst in his mouth at the KitKatClub in 1997. — 🎃fBLAME (@OfBLAME) October 29, 2020
Twitter’s favourite intentional Michael Gove parody had something to add.
As a lifelong anti anti-racist, member of a party with a noble tradition of proper racism, and slug, I hope Sir Keir will give my letter the attention it deserves. https://t.co/zvu9V3Zbfb — Michael Govern Ready (@mikegove12) October 29, 2020
The real Gove has yet to respond to that, presumably as he’s too busy following up on his party’s promise to investigate Islamophobia within its ranks.
READ MORE
Kay Burley’s forensic demolition of Michael Gove’s defence of Dominic Cummings is a very entertaining watch
Source Michael Gove Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-30--The 25 funniest tweets of the week

The 25 funniest tweets of the week

Every week , we scour Twitter for the funniest tweets we can find and narrow them down to 25 of @ @ @ @ @ them out and maybe give some of the people who wrote them a follow .
@ @ @ @ @ best tweets we ’ ve seen this week…

Twitter
Every week, we scour Twitter for the funniest tweets we can find and narrow them down to 25 of the very best. Check them out and maybe give some of the people who wrote them a follow.
Here they are, the best tweets we’ve seen this week…
1.
tories on twitter telling people how to feed their kids pic.twitter.com/Szs7cMipL7 — feral streep / ACAB (@duloxequeen) October 25, 2020
2.
Scooby I could eat, how about you? pic.twitter.com/zAn7a3GAz5 — Dan Antopolski (@danantopolski) October 26, 2020
3.
First day as a vampire hunter: This is easy lol First night as a vampire hunter: oh no — Slutty President Warren G Harding (@PopeAwesomeXIII) October 26, 2020
4.
starving starving
miners minors pic.twitter.com/L1W3Ev3SYy — ＬＯＵＩＳ (@mxmxnto_mori) October 23, 2020
5.
Good job Christmas will probably be cancelled this year because I don’t think the three ghosts will have enough time to visit all those MPs in one night — Mrs C-S (@_MrsC_S) October 23, 2020
6.
if you’re feeling sad just remember this square renaissance lion pic.twitter.com/cXfdJMJLon — ruby 🐊 (@roobeekeane) October 25, 2020
7.
Inverness Caledonian Thistle don’t employ a cameraman as their camera is programmed to follow the ball throughout the match. The commentator had to apologise today as the camera kept on mistaking the ball for the linesman’s head… pic.twitter.com/LeKsc2bEj7 — Tom Cox (@seagull81) October 24, 2020
8.
Zebras? Oh, you mean horse referees — Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) October 26, 2020
9.
this is incredibly funny pic.twitter.com/KofcmkzBhV — keyvan (کیوان) (@shafieikeyvan) October 25, 2020
10.
https://twitter.com/TheChiefSosa/status/1320811025151787009
11.
the only things you hear in music now are sex, violence, and drugs. i miss the days when songs were about something real, like the Boys and returning to Town — nate of the living dead (@MNateShyamalan) October 28, 2020
12.
Sisters dugs up a hill can’t stop laughing pic.twitter.com/BlX2t6McQw — Callum (@bellcallum_) October 23, 2020
13.
This is not Melania pic.twitter.com/GFWpkWZVIv — Gareth (@Cadmarch) October 25, 2020
14.
Tier 1 plus you know. Business class Covid. https://t.co/VRHa5TBCmy — TransJamaican (@Whitb_xx) October 28, 2020
15.
Just caught a glimpse of myself on a Zoom and immediately regretted it pic.twitter.com/uvoPr9wihl — Tomb Scream(hollow)man (@TNeenan) October 29, 2020
16.
It’s time to stop judging masculinity by if you can change a tire or chop down a tree. Can you be emotionally available to the people you love? Can you be honest about your feelings? How many Pokémon can you name without googling it? — jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) October 26, 2020
17.
Thinking about the guy that put cheese in a chocolate fountain pic.twitter.com/jZQ1krWcvI — Parker (@panoparker) October 29, 2020
18.
Finding a mask in your pocket is the new equivalent of finding a fiver. — Tom Hobson (@tommythehobster) October 24, 2020
19.
His villain origin story https://t.co/qZ6ebB0eJs — black boy bulletin (@theblackboyblog) October 25, 2020
20.
pirates statisticians
🤝
R — floptimus prime ribᵀᴹ (@FireBeets) October 28, 2020
21.
https://twitter.com/illucifer/status/1319940291219083264
22.
a solar eclipse and a tree is like “aw man I was eating that” — [email protected] (@TweetPotato314) October 29, 2020
24.
my wiife loves when i do borat pic.twitter.com/UlZWtuxLDR — hayley kosan? why, shes been dead for 10 years… (@WiseOldBitch) October 23, 2020
25.


thepoke--2020-10-30--Donald Trump Jr said Covid-19 deaths are down to ‘almost nothing’ – only 5 responses you need

An enthusiastic-looking Donald Trump Jr had good news for people worried about Covid-19 in the US .
Apparently the number @ @ @ @ @ in the country has now ‘ gone to almost nothing ’ , he told Laura @ @ @ @ @ It must be true , it ’ s on his Instagram .
And these are @ @ @ @ @ you need .
And also this .
This devastating takedown of a Republican senator over @ @ @ @ @ ’ s so brutal

Twitter
An enthusiastic-looking Donald Trump Jr had good news for people worried about Covid-19 in the US.
Apparently the number of deaths from the coronavirus in the country has now ‘gone to almost nothing’, he told Laura Ingraham on Fox News.
It must be true, it’s on his Instagram.
Jr. claims Coronavirus death numbers are down to “almost nothing” pic.twitter.com/NGMDLYkdsD — Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) October 30, 2020
And these are surely the only 5 responses you need.
1.
“The number (of deaths) is almost nothing, because we’ve gotten control of this,” Don Jr says. So far today, Johns Hopkins has reported 87,164 new cases and 951 reported deaths. TODAY. With a total of 228,636 deaths. Lie after lie after lie after lie. https://t.co/UVz6TDBbKy — Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) October 30, 2020
2.
I like to think of Don Jr. as what happens when you take a Twitter bot and turn it into a real person.pic.twitter.com/A40KgEh69w — Anand Giridharadas (@AnandWrites) October 30, 2020
3.
More than a thousand people died of COVID today. Perhaps "Don" can attend some of the funerals, look those families in their eyes, and tell them their loved ones' deaths were "almost nothing." https://t.co/t5J6WWnJh3 — Noah Shachtman (@NoahShachtman) October 30, 2020
4.
Holy shit. That's all I've got. Just holy shit. https://t.co/6fpFvQmuas — Holly Figueroa O'Reilly (@AynRandPaulRyan) October 30, 2020
5.
I know the messaging they are trying to push. But this is, in any other circumstance, the type of utterance that would kill a normal campaign. We’ve had around 1,000k deaths each of the last two days and the president’s son and top campaign surrogate calls it “almost nothing” https://t.co/iuDgYjkegI — Sam Stein (@samstein) October 30, 2020
And also this.
And my sister just sits there allowing this son of con to talk and lie repeatedly all the while looking at him adoringly. Repulsive! 1,016 Americans actually died today Laura. Do you even care?! @IngrahamAngle https://t.co/p7OzIteJiS — Curtis Ingraham (@CurtisIngraham1) October 30, 2020
READ MORE
This devastating takedown of a Republican senator over Covid-19 went viral because it’s so brutal
Source Twitter @Acyn


thepoke--2020-10-30--GANksy the AI street artist makes work reflecting the unsettled times we live in

An AI street artist called ‘ GANksy ’ has been busy creating 256 original works reflecting the unsettled times we @ @ @ @ @ of Matt Round over on vole.wtf the neural network or GAN – short for generative @ @ @ @ @ using hundreds of street art photos , giving it a ‘ uniquely dark , twisted @ @ @ @ @ are now being sold off , beginning at £1 for the very first sale , @ @ @ @ @ a pound every time one ’ s sold .
You can find out more ( @ @ @ @ @ here and find Matt Round on Twitter here .
But before you do that , @ @ @ @ @ ’ s work .
This hideously addictive game challenging you to draw a perfect circle @ @ @ @ @ your day sewn up

Pics
An AI street artist called ‘GANksy’ has been busy creating 256 original works reflecting the unsettled times we live in.
The brainchild of Matt Round over on vole.wtf the neural network or GAN – short for generative adversarial network – was trained using hundreds of street art photos, giving it a ‘uniquely dark, twisted style’.
Its creations are now being sold off, beginning at £1 for the very first sale, with the price rising by a pound every time one’s sold.
You can find out more (and see them all) here and find Matt Round on Twitter here.
But before you do that, here is some of GANksy’s work.
READ MORE
This hideously addictive game challenging you to draw a perfect circle is basically the rest of your day sewn up
Source vole.wtf Twitter @VOLEwtf


thepoke--2020-10-31--England is expected to go into a second Covid lockdown next week – 17 favourite responses

It looks like England is about to go into a second national lockdown to tackle Covid-19 despite Boris Johnson summarily @ @ @ @ @ few weeks ago .
We know this because the government appears to have briefed the @ @ @ @ @ about it .
Remember when they used to announce this sort of thing in parliament @ @ @ @ @ the death of parliamentary democracy and all that , here are our favourite 17 things @ @ @ @ @ of a second national lockdown in England .

Twitter
It looks like England is about to go into a second national lockdown to tackle Covid-19 despite Boris Johnson summarily rejecting the idea just a few weeks ago.
We know this because the government appears to have briefed the Daily Mail and the Times about it. Remember when they used to announce this sort of thing in parliament?
Two UK newspapers appear to have been briefed about a national lockdown from Wednesday. Press conference on Monday. The vacuum will mean two days of speculation. Why is the government doing it like this? pic.twitter.com/9wy9gVjsWD — Graeme Demianyk (@GraemeDemianyk) October 30, 2020
But before we tackle the death of parliamentary democracy and all that, here are our favourite 17 things people said about the prospect of a second national lockdown in England.
1.
I think the most damnable thing is the way they arrogantly insist that they won’t be changing course right up until the moment they change course. It was Raab yesterday. Even those of us who expected the very worst from this government are close to disbelief at the awfulness now. — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) October 31, 2020
2.
We’re gonna Lockdown 2 pic.twitter.com/JtIX7EDsmA — Anna Cooq (@annacooq) October 30, 2020
3.
Whoever could have predicted that we couldn’t beat the need for a national lockdown with the stringent “no drinking unless you have a pie” strategy — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 30, 2020
4.
I’m old enough to remember when Keir Starmer was called a “shameless opportunist” for suggesting a national lockdown two weeks ago. pic.twitter.com/h6IKe9OwtH — David Schneider (@davidschneider) October 30, 2020
5.
lockdown 2 come onnnn pic.twitter.com/rYty7KH07c — that bitch just (@nads1__) October 30, 2020
6.
Forced to belatedly lock down for a month – minimum – when you could have got ahead of it early and done it for a fortnight…. fucking textbook. Absolutely wild to see TORIES make things worse for business because they still haven’t glommed on health and economy go hand in hand — Marina Hyde (@MarinaHyde) October 31, 2020
7.
During the first lockdown we all tried nice hobbies like cross stitch, baking, yoga etc. This time let's do some more extreme hobbies like blacksmithing, falconry and snake charming. — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) October 30, 2020
8.
Me trying to catch a quick flight before Lockdown 2 pic.twitter.com/NF0kC1YOu4 — Shu’aib (@ShuaibMA) October 30, 2020
9.
It's not a national lockdown! It's Australian-style Me Time. — Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) October 31, 2020
10.


thepoke--2020-10-31--Donald Trump kissed Melania and the whole ‘fake First Lady’ thing kicked off again – 7 favourite res

Donald Trump kissed Melania and the whole ‘fake First Lady’ thing kicked off again – 7 favourite responses

There ’ s not typically an awful lot of physical contact on view between Donald Trump and Melania Trump and @ @ @ @ @ all of them – it ’ s really none of our business .
But it @ @ @ @ @ notice the occasional moment when Melania appears less than keen to hold the President ’ @ @ @ @ @ recent moment after the first presidential debate .
So when they had an especially intimate @ @ @ @ @ week , it got those ‘ fake Melania theories ’ running all over again .
@ @ @ @ @ people said about it .
Just for the record , of course there isn ’ @ @ @ @ @ .
We reckon there must be at least a dozen of them .
People loved @ @ @ @ @ Kirstie Alley after she trolled their Covid coverage

Twitter
There’s not typically an awful lot of physical contact on view between Donald Trump and Melania Trump and in many respects – possibly all of them – it’s really none of our business.
But it’s hard not to notice the occasional moment when Melania appears less than keen to hold the President’s hand. Like this recent moment after the first presidential debate.
Melania yanks her hand away from Trump. (Spotted by @WalnutDust) pic.twitter.com/NHDzoYfSuT — The Recount (@therecount) October 23, 2020
So when they had an especially intimate moment at a rally this week, it got those ‘fake Melania theories’ running all over again.
Here’s the moment …
What does Melania say to Trump after their third kiss on stage? pic.twitter.com/OXrTBMvkjF — The Recount (@therecount) October 29, 2020
… and our favourite things people said about it.
1.
The real Melania won’t even hold his hand. pic.twitter.com/sOSBz6SGBy — Dana Goldberg (@DGComedy) October 30, 2020
2.
who the fuck is that pic.twitter.com/BqlgfjnuYM — BenDavid Grabinski+ (@bdgrabinski) October 30, 2020
3.
Why the Melania body double always look like the nose came with the glasses? https://t.co/aDdGlDCTCM — Genie Lauren (@MoreAndAgain) October 30, 2020
4.
Liberals want you to believe it’s wrong to kiss a bunch of different ladies who all look sort of the same like a Robert Palmer video. Witch hunt! https://t.co/WZXyXzkxy2 — Patrick Cosmos (@veryimportant) October 30, 2020
5.
everyone gets one (non-destructive) conspiracy theory and mine is the fake melania theory https://t.co/OZ7xKrE84l — ☕netw3rk (@netw3rk) October 30, 2020
6.
Christopher Nolan needs to make a sequel to "The Prestige" except it's about what happens to the Melania clones after Trump leaves office. https://t.co/ZMlry7DWed — gifdsports (@gifdsports) October 30, 2020
7.
me: god will you people stop with the conspiracy theories you're being ridiculous also me: motherfucker that is not melania not even close — Mass for Shut-ins (is a podcast) (@edburmila) October 30, 2020
Just for the record, of course there isn’t a second Melania lookalike. We reckon there must be at least a dozen of them.
READ MORE
People loved CNN’s takedown of Kirstie Alley after she trolled their Covid coverage
H/T Uproxx


thepoke--2020-10-31--People loved CNN’s takedown of Kirstie Alley after she trolled their Covid coverage

It ’ s not long ago – okay then , it ’ s 30 years – that Kirstie Alley was @ @ @ @ @ .
These days she ’ s better known for other things , among them her @ @ @ @ @ .
Which means her criticism of CNN and its coverage of Covid-19 might not entirely @ @ @ @ @ you .
Here ’ s what the actress had to say , and we only @ @ @ @ @ s response was simply perfect .
“ I now Know why my personal friends who @ @ @ @ @ of contracting Covid are simply CNN viewers !
“ I decided to watch CNN myself @ @ @ @ @ and oh my God DID I EVER !
!
!
!
IF YOU TOO WANT @ @ @ @ @ CNN !
!
FEAR OF DYING IS THEIR MANTRA !
OMG !
” And this @ @ @ @ @ Kirstie Alley ’ s declaration of loyalty to Trump earned more jeers than Cheers – @ @ @

Pics
It’s not long ago – okay then, it’s 30 years – that Kirstie Alley was making us laugh on Cheers. These days she’s better known for other things, among them her unwavering support for Donald Trump.
Which means her criticism of CNN and its coverage of Covid-19 might not entirely come as a surprise to you.
Here’s what the actress had to say, and we only mention it because CNN’s response was simply perfect.
“I now Know why my personal friends who walk around in SHEER TERROR of contracting Covid are simply CNN viewers! “I decided to watch CNN myself to get a their viewpoint and oh my God DID I EVER!!!! IF YOU TOO WANT TO LIVE IN TERROR WATCH CNN!! FEAR OF DYING IS THEIR MANTRA! OMG!”
Oof.
@CNN you need to give the kid running your Twitter accounts a RAISE! — cindylouwho (@floydfalcor) October 30, 2020
Well, I guess she doesn’t have to worry about dying of covid anymore pic.twitter.com/tJ72wnvdEZ — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 30, 2020
And this made it even better.
How many TV shows have you starred in, CNN comms twitter person? How many people would ask for your autograph or a picture with you if they knew who you were? How many books have you published? Yes. Zero. — The Lucky Templar (@FortKester) October 30, 2020
READ MORE
Kirstie Alley’s declaration of loyalty to Trump earned more jeers than Cheers – 9 devastating owns
Source Twitter @CNNPR Reddit u/DaFunkJunkie


thepoke--2020-11-01--The 14 most stinging takedowns of Nadine Dorries who said only a crystal ball could have predicted L

The 14 most stinging takedowns of Nadine Dorries who said only a crystal ball could have predicted Lockdown 2

It ’ s not entirely new territory for Conservative MP and previous inhabitant of the “ I ’ m a @ @ @ @ @ Dorries , to say things that people may consider – well – stupid .
Which @ @ @ @ @ is known in the business as “ proof ” .
She recently suggested that it @ @ @ @ @ ball to predict the dire coronavirus numbers currently being presented .
The takedowns came thick @ @ @

Twitter
It’s not entirely new territory for Conservative MP and previous inhabitant of the “I’m a Celebrity” campsite, Nadine Dorries, to say things that people may consider – well – stupid.
For example …
And …
Which was swiftly debunked by what is known in the business as “proof”.
She recently suggested that it would have required a crystal ball to predict the dire coronavirus numbers currently being presented.
The takedowns came thick and fast.
1.
You didn't need a bloody crystal ball, you needed to act on the advice your own SAGE committee gave you to lockdown weeks ago. https://t.co/U99BqZsHko — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) October 31, 2020
2.
She has now bought twelve. https://t.co/2KP8kkuVdD — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) October 31, 2020
3.
Nadine Dorries seems to think all the SAGE experts and epidemiology professors are like fairies. Yes, it could have been predicted, it WAS predicted and all the qualified and intelligent people were right. https://t.co/CCgHMOuPfc — Will Black (@WillBlackWriter) October 31, 2020
4.
5.
Or, you know, someone following “France 24” on Twitter dot com. https://t.co/Zq8xQflQkj — Stephen Bush (@stephenkb) October 31, 2020
6.
7.