thepoke--2020-12-08--The French prime minister searching for the glasses he’s wearing is our Relatable Clip of the Day

We ’ ve found our top contender for ‘ Relatable Clip of the Day ’ – possibly even of the @ @ @ @ @ French prime minister , Jean Castex , caught on camera doing something every glasses wearer @ @ @ @ @ or another .
Originally shared – in French – by @ LabVince , the clip @ @ @ @ @ lot of people .
A French tweeter named JF Luberon spotted something familiar about the @ @ @ @ @ a pair of glasses he ’ s not wearing and people can ’ t stop @

Videos
We’ve found our top contender for ‘Relatable Clip of the Day’ – possibly even of the week. Here’s French prime minister, Jean Castex, caught on camera doing something every glasses wearer has done at one time or another.
The French prime minister looking for his glasses, which are on his face, is all of us who have ever worn glasses
pic.twitter.com/nyGV5Z9Ny1 — Katy Lee (@kjalee) December 4, 2020
Originally shared – in French – by @LabVince, the clip struck a chord with a lot of people.
this is me but looking for my headphones when they are in my ears and playing music https://t.co/hzhkoD1asG — Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) December 5, 2020
Have worried I've lost my phone while LOOKING AT MY PHONE https://t.co/Tv9ZbP89hI — Marina O'Loughlin (@MarinaOLoughlin) December 4, 2020
Jesus Christ if this isn't me. https://t.co/llhL7ziEKy — Rachel England (@Rachel_England) December 4, 2020
Love it! Although I am far too short-sighted to not realise I am wearing my glasses, I have sometimes worn contact lenses then poked myself in the eye trying to take my glasses off… https://t.co/9NKRFKg0yK — Tim Harford (@TimHarford) December 4, 2020
A French tweeter named JF Luberon spotted something familiar about the clip.
Mais bien sûr!
via Gfycat
READ MORE
This man removes a pair of glasses he’s not wearing and people can’t stop watching
Source @LabVince Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-08--This 3-year-old’s assessment of Boris Johnson is both brutal and hilarious

If you aren ’ t familiar with the Kabs Family , who share their funny and cute videos and pictures @ @ @ @ @ , you ’ ve been missing out and it ’ s time to put that @ @ @ @ @ ended in England , dad Tay tried to break the good news to his three-year-old @ @ @ @ @ very little success .
When even three-year-olds are onto you , there ’ s not @ @ @ @ @ were here for it .
When the clip was shared on Twitter , the reactions @ @ @ @ @ included this advice .
Somebody get Mali on the phone to Ursula von der Leyen @ @ @ @ @ only hope .
You can follow the Kabs Family on Twitter , Facebook , Instagram @ @ @ @ @ as TikTok .

Videos
If you aren’t familiar with the Kabs Family, who share their funny and cute videos and pictures across several social media platforms, you’ve been missing out and it’s time to put that right.
When the lockdown ended in England, dad Tay tried to break the good news to his three-year-old daughter, Maliya – with very little success.
Watch to the end.
When even three-year-olds are onto you, there’s not much hope.
TikTok users were here for it.
When the clip was shared on Twitter, the reactions were much the same and included this advice.
As a rule, I say we should be listening to Mali. She's really smart! 😉 https://t.co/cCZdrCd0De — Renée (@Renee_AmberRain) December 3, 2020
Somebody get Mali on the phone to Ursula von der Leyen – she’s our only hope.
You can follow the Kabs Family on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and YouTube, as well as TikTok.
READ MORE
A 2-year-old solves a famous ethical dilemma in a hilariously ruthless way
Source The Kabs Family Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-08--Dionne Warwick’s tweets are the gift nobody expected from 2020

Filed under ‘ Things 2020 managed to get right ’ , we find the Twitter account of Dionne Warwick , singer , legend and now social media Goddess .
She recently posted this tweet about something that was bugging her .
If it surprised the rest of us , imagine what went through Chance The Rapper ‘ s head .
Her response won ’ t have done much to stop him freaking out .
And he said the only reasonable thing when addressed by such a legend of the music industry .
This little joke made it even better .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ the Rapper wasn ’ t her only target .
Damon Elliott , singer , producer and – most importantly here , Dionne ’ s son , tried to step in .
As did this other chap who thought she was overstepping her boundaries .
By far the majority of people loved Ms Warwick ’ s takeover of her own account , which is often run by a team .
Some people were sceptical , however , that the almost 80-year-old was writing the posts herself .
They need to watch this .
We @ @ @ @ @ @ @ “ Walk on by !
” This guy mansplained a singer songwriters own music back to her – our 9 favourite takedowns

Twitter
Filed under ‘Things 2020 managed to get right’, we find the Twitter account of Dionne Warwick, singer, legend and now social media Goddess.
She recently posted this tweet about something that was bugging her.
Hi, @chancetherapper. If you are very obviously a rapper why did you put it in your stage name? I cannot stop thinking about this. — Dionne Warwick (@_DionneWarwick) December 5, 2020
If it surprised the rest of us, imagine what went through Chance The Rapper‘s head.
Sorry I’m still freaking out that u know who I am. This is amazing! — Chance The Rapper (@chancetherapper) December 5, 2020
Her response won’t have done much to stop him freaking out.
Of course I know you. You’re THE rapper. Let’s rap together. I’ll message you. 🤷🏽♀ https://t.co/7ku9SMNUMB — Dionne Warwick (@_DionneWarwick) December 5, 2020
And he said the only reasonable thing when addressed by such a legend of the music industry.
I will be whatever you wanna call me Ms Warwick. God bless you 💙💙 — Chance The Rapper (@chancetherapper) December 5, 2020
This little joke made it even better.
I am now Dionne the Singer. — Dionne Warwick (@_DionneWarwick) December 5, 2020
She wasn’t finished. Chance the Rapper wasn’t her only target.
The Weeknd is next. Why? It’s not even spelled correctly? @theweeknd — Dionne Warwick (@_DionneWarwick) December 5, 2020
I just got roasted by Dionne Warwick and I feel honored! You just made my day 😂❤❤❤ https://t.co/uO9e0h067q — The Weeknd (@theweeknd) December 6, 2020
If you have “The” in your name i’m coming for you. I need answers today. — Dionne Warwick (@_DionneWarwick) December 5, 2020
Damon Elliott, singer, producer and – most importantly here, Dionne’s son, tried to step in.
Mom that’s it! As soon as this quarantine is over I’m taking your iphone away from you.. time to go back to a flip phone 🤦🏽♂ — iamdamonelliott (@damonelliott) December 5, 2020
And got short shrift.
Good luck getting into MY house without a working key. https://t.co/Q8mCVbMs73 — Dionne Warwick (@_DionneWarwick) December 5, 2020
As did this other chap who thought she was overstepping her boundaries.
Ms. Dionne, give me your phone!!!! https://t.co/HTHeRh0IcI — GA Runoff Election is Jan. 5 (@TevonBlair) December 5, 2020
How dare he!
Perfect gif.
By far the majority of people loved Ms Warwick’s takeover of her own account, which is often run by a team.
Me: celeb culture is toxic *Dionne Warwick starts tweeting* Also Me: pic.twitter.com/t0ciVIiugb — ToraShae (@BlackMajiik) December 6, 2020
Dionne Warwick asking all the important questions tonight pic.twitter.com/D9F2U9X33w — Colette Fahy (@colettefahy_) December 5, 2020
Dionne Warwick and Chance The Rapper. The interaction I didn’t know I needed. pic.twitter.com/rjkR8teWm0 — Ronald Isley (@yoyotrav) December 5, 2020
I've been thinking about this for years and she….she just tweeted it out https://t.co/9D7CdAulff — Alan Henry (@halophoenix) December 5, 2020
I'm changing my name to "Vlad the Interviewer" — DJ Vlad – VladTV.com (@djvlad) December 6, 2020
Some people were sceptical, however, that the almost 80-year-old was writing the posts herself.
People really think that’s actually Dionne Warwick tweeting. It’s her niece. LOL — Nessa Girl (@Jonteezy23) December 6, 2020
Oh yeah. I’m basically convinced now that the person tweeting is most definitely NOT Ms. Dionne ain’t no way. Lmao — Deah Berry Mitchell (@whatdedesays) December 6, 2020
I do not buy for one minute that Dionne Warwick herself is tweeting these things. — Jordan (@jdever12) December 6, 2020
They need to watch this.
Came here to find foolishness in my replies. I am rushing to into an interview and this is the last time I’m saying this. Thanks. pic.twitter.com/En49BaoGRK — Dionne Warwick (@_DionneWarwick) December 7, 2020
We have one message for the doubters – “Walk on by!”
READ MORE
This guy mansplained a singer songwriters own music back to her – our 9 favourite takedowns
Source Dionne Warwick Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-08--9 favourite takedowns of David Davis’ claim that UK negotiators are more civilised than the EU’s

As the Brexit negotiations go not just up to the wire , but balance on it , trying to decide @ @ @ @ @ bit or the blue bit , former chief negotiator for the UK , David Davis @ @ @ @ @ immeasurably with his diplomacy .
Oh , wait – no , he didn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ in some details .
‘ We ’ re a much better country ’ – 7 @ @ @ @ @ ’ s vaccine boast

News
As the Brexit negotiations go not just up to the wire, but balance on it, trying to decide whether to cut the red bit or the blue bit, former chief negotiator for the UK, David Davis, helped ease the tension immeasurably with his diplomacy.
Oh, wait – no, he didn’t.
Author Emma Kennedy cut to the chase.
This is abject nonsense. — Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) December 7, 2020
These other reactions fill in some details.
1.
Ah the whole: “Britain is more civilised than other countries” mantra from David Davis. Now, where have we heard that argument before?……… https://t.co/wIdVIA2eZM — Dr. Jennifer Cassidy (@OxfordDiplomat) December 7, 2020
2.
David Davis knows what he is talking about when it comes to negotiations. As our hard-working Brexit Secretary he personally spent 4 whole hours in negotiations with Michel Barnier in 2018.#BrexitShambles https://t.co/uHH8aBST4r — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) December 7, 2020
3.
An infinite number of David Davises typing for an infinite number of years on an infinite number of keyboards would still manage to be wrong about everything.#BrexitShambles pic.twitter.com/EeCI9egFLS — Andy Grayson🇪🇺🏳🌈😷 (@AndyGrays0n) December 7, 2020
4.
So the Home Secretary didn't suggest cutting off Ireland's food supplies, then? https://t.co/fQN8RnJ1aq — (((Frances "Cassandra" Coppola)))🕷 (@Frances_Coppola) December 7, 2020
5.
If David Davis were a stopped clock he would somehow find a way to miraculously skip straight past the two times a day in which he was right. https://t.co/s4mtjUGn9A — Tom Peck (@tompeck) December 7, 2020
6.
Nothing says "civilised" like going to a negotiation without bothering to take any notes with you. pic.twitter.com/rAqVKGQ3aD — Mike Holden (@MikeHolden42) December 7, 2020
7.
What David Davis actually means here is that David Davis has nothing to fear with a No Deal Brexit, since he’ll still be trousering £60,000 for 20 hours work from JCB on top of his salary as an MP. Those without £3,000 an hour consultancy gigs might have grounds for concern. https://t.co/JOh3aADDqr — Alfie Potts Harmer (@ahtralfie) December 7, 2020
8.
You honestly can't know what civilised means until you've witnessed a steaming David Davis berating a Belgian hotel receptionist in the early hours, demanding to know why he can't plug in his three pin travel kettle to make a pack of chow mein Supernoodles. https://t.co/xaI3XiVs4T — Michael Govern Ready (@mikegove12) December 7, 2020
9.
It is astonishing that people like David "Easiest Deal In History" Davis are not in hiding, frankly. https://t.co/KBWoL65tbC — Alex Andreou (@sturdyAlex) December 7, 2020
One last opinion …
it's a bit unfair on idiots to call David Davis an idiot — dave ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) December 7, 2020
READ MORE
‘We’re a much better country’ – 7 favourite responses to Gavin Williamson’s vaccine boast
Source David Davis Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-08--An ex-Israeli space official claimed that aliens exist and Trump knows about it – 9 hilarious reacti

An ex-Israeli space official claimed that aliens exist and Trump knows about it – 9 hilarious reactions

Aliens are back in the news once more , and this time they mean business – or at least they @ @ @ @ @ , the former head of Israel ’ s space program .
In case you ’ @ @ @ @ @ ve not spotted any little green men during your weekly trip to the supermarket , @ @ @ @ @ to the Jewish Press : “ The aliens have asked not to announce that they @ @ @ @ @ humanity is not ready yet , ” .
Honestly , that part seems completely reasonable @ @ @ @ @ the existence of a Galactic Federation , a secretive agreement the aliens have with the @ @ @ @ @ unrealistic of all , the assertion that Donald Trump knows of all this but has @ @ @ @ @ public at large .
With the newfound knowledge of the possible existence of extra-terrestrial life @ @ @ @ @ on the jokes .
Here are 9 of the best : The mysterious monoliths have @ @ @ @ @ UK – the only 9 responses you need

Twitter
Aliens are back in the news once more, and this time they mean business – or at least they do according to Haim Eshed, the former head of Israel’s space program.
Aliens in hiding until mankind is ready, says Ex-Israeli space head https://t.co/vmUtPNqR0x pic.twitter.com/MAxlrFwrfq — New York Post (@nypost) December 7, 2020
In case you’re wondering why you’ve not spotted any little green men during your weekly trip to the supermarket, Eshed had this to say to the Jewish Press: “The aliens have asked not to announce that they are here [because] humanity is not ready yet,”. Honestly, that part seems completely reasonable.
Amongst his claims were the existence of a Galactic Federation, a secretive agreement the aliens have with the US government, and most unrealistic of all, the assertion that Donald Trump knows of all this but has kept it quiet from the public at large.
With the newfound knowledge of the possible existence of extra-terrestrial life, Twitter quickly got started on the jokes. Here are 9 of the best:
1.
humans: can we meet the aliens yet the galactic federation: pic.twitter.com/bGNuWZQc5B — mckenna (@kennsyn) December 8, 2020
2.
I’ve read so much first contact fiction that basically every scenario seems plausible. But a galactic federation managing to convince Donald Trump to not Tweet about them just doesn’t pencil out. — Hank Green (@hankgreen) December 8, 2020
3.
#Aliens on their way to Earth to be the final boss of 2020 pic.twitter.com/VSg0zFJ2uQ — Jubruh (@jubot10) December 8, 2020
4.
Earth: "Can we join the Galactic Federation?"
The Galactic Federation: pic.twitter.com/2nfJp30zwA — Ethan Carpenter (@ethanmcarpenter) December 7, 2020
5.
aliens getting ready for their december 2020 debut #Aliens pic.twitter.com/Xt0uwOdjZm — ᱬ giuseppe ᱬ (@_giuseppe32) December 8, 2020
6.
Galactic Federation: exists Humans: think we could maybe…
🥺
👉👈
Galactic Federation: pic.twitter.com/X5aREIBmfY — Xavi Kohlrabi 💎🐀 (@XCortal) December 7, 2020
7.
Us: "WhAt'S nExT iN 2020, aLIeNs lOl? December: Galactic Federation Us: pic.twitter.com/wWTuEUjn2a — emjay 🇭🇹 (@mikedjoseph) December 8, 2020
8.
This the mf the Galactic Federation sent to spy on us pic.twitter.com/ywfbswkQd1 — steve (@xtrumpvoter) December 7, 2020
9.
The Galactic Federation just watching the earth destroy itself pic.twitter.com/FUhH2OEg4M — Alessandro (@alessandro_r23) December 7, 2020
READ MORE
The mysterious monoliths have made their way to the UK – the only 9 responses you need
Source: @nypost


thepoke--2020-12-09--A New Zealand breakfast show was tricked into celebrating Fred and Rosemary West’s wedding anniversa

A New Zealand breakfast show was tricked into celebrating Fred and Rosemary West’s wedding anniversary

Presenting on live television comes with many risks , and that ’ s doubly true when viewer participation is involved .
On Wednesday , Jenny-May Clarkson and Indira Stewart , hosts of the New Zealand show TVNZ Breakfast learned that the hard way .
During a segment called “ Today ’ s the Day ” , the duo read out a viewer submitted email celebrating the wedding anniversary of notorious British killers Fred And Rosemary West .
Without getting into too much detail , Fred and Rosemary West committed at least twelve murders between 1967 and 1987… not exactly the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to publicly congratulate on a morning breakfast show .
“ Francis and Violet Eastwood celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary .
I love it .
This is their children ’ s favourite photo of them , taking on their honeymoon way back in 199o .
“ Your adoring children Dan , Rachel , and Edwin say you ’ re the most caring parents they could ask for and are looking forward to celebrating with you today.
” A photo of the couple is displayed on-air throughout while the Sister Sledge song “ We Are @ @ @ @ @ @ @ The segment finishes with the hosts saying “ Here ’ s to another 30 years !
” with some added cheerful “ wahoos ” from within the studio .
TVNZ ’ s general manager of corporate communications , Rachel Howard , told the Herald that they “ sincerely apologise ” for the error .

Pics
Presenting on live television comes with many risks, and that’s doubly true when viewer participation is involved. On Wednesday, Jenny-May Clarkson and Indira Stewart, hosts of the New Zealand show TVNZ Breakfast learned that the hard way.
During a segment called “Today’s the Day”, the duo read out a viewer submitted email celebrating the wedding anniversary of notorious British killers Fred And Rosemary West.
Here’s the moment in question:
https://twitter.com/miffythegamer/status/1336446120197824512
Without getting into too much detail, Fred and Rosemary West committed at least twelve murders between 1967 and 1987… not exactly the type of people you’d want to publicly congratulate on a morning breakfast show.
Here’s the transcript:
“Francis and Violet Eastwood celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary. I love it. This is their children’s favourite photo of them, taking on their honeymoon way back in 199o.
“Your adoring children Dan, Rachel, and Edwin say you’re the most caring parents they could ask for and are looking forward to celebrating with you today.”
A photo of the couple is displayed on-air throughout while the Sister Sledge song “We Are Family” plays in the background.
The segment finishes with the hosts saying “Here’s to another 30 years!” with some added cheerful “wahoos” from within the studio.
TVNZ’s general manager of corporate communications, Rachel Howard, told the Herald that they “sincerely apologise” for the error.
READ MORE
This flat’s extremely unusual entrance is dividing opinion
Source: TVNZ / @miffythegamer


thepoke--2020-12-09--These Trump supporters were asked why they don’t wear masks and you’ll be facepalming into next week

Over on Twitter comedians @ TheGoodLiars asked these Donald Trump supporters why they don ’ t wear masks .
And @ @ @ @ @ terrifying in just about equal measure .
And just a few of the things people @ @ @ @ @ Good Liars are @ jasonselvig and @ davramdavram and and you can follow them on @ @ @ @ @ over here .
You might remember they also did this .

Videos
Over on Twitter comedians @TheGoodLiars asked these Donald Trump supporters why they don’t wear masks.
And it’s hilarious and terrifying in just about equal measure.
We asked these Trump supporters why they don’t wear masks. pic.twitter.com/GgZ4HJz6lf — The Good Liars (@TheGoodLiars) December 8, 2020
And just a few of the things people said about it.
https://twitter.com/ReesusP/status/1336367003355901952?s=20
OMG! Please protect the rest of us from these people 🙏 https://t.co/5Eq3DCeQBm — Morgan Fairchild (@morgfair) December 8, 2020
What the fucking trailer park is this shit? pic.twitter.com/H9rqDDQWnj — J…A…R…E…T…T… (@20jarett24) December 8, 2020
The Good Liars are @jasonselvig and @davramdavram and and you can follow them on Twitter here and on Instagram over here.
You might remember they also did this.
In short …
The interviewer is a professional comedian. The interviewees are accidental comedians. https://t.co/C8dBPboYPz — Tom Sutcliffe (@tds153) December 9, 2020
READ MORE
Donald Trump made a comedy quick exit from a medal ceremony to avoid reporters’ questions
Source @TheGoodLiars Instagram tglnyc


thepoke--2020-12-09--A salutary lesson never to assume it’s an automated message

Thank goodness for automated reminders of up-coming appointments which are a whole lot more reliable than , say , actually @ @ @ @ @ But not all of those reminders are of the automated variety – just most of @ @ @ @ @ a salutary message not to play fast and loose with them .
It ’ s @ @ @ @ @ but it ’ s just gone viral again after it was shared by Redditor SkrooImperator @ @ @ @ @ ’ t know what I ’ d do if this happened with me .
’

Pics
Thank goodness for automated reminders of up-coming appointments which are a whole lot more reliable than, say, actually remembering something for yourself.
But not all of those reminders are of the automated variety – just most of them – and this is a salutary message not to play fast and loose with them.
It’s not an entirely new exchange but it’s just gone viral again after it was shared by Redditor SkrooImperator who said: ‘I….don’t know what I’d do if this happened with me.’
Oof.
‘Hahahaha! That is a belter.’ _OhEmGee_ ‘I bet it made that person’s day.’ TheDustOfMen “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your… peepeepoopoo obsession.” superpenistendo
READ MORE
‘Scamming a scammer with voice acting’
Source Reddit u/SkrooImperator


thepoke--2020-12-09--This kid knocked on the glass and got more than they bargained for. A lot more

Well , they do say don ’ t tap on the glass , a clip that went viral after it @ @ @ @ @ who said : ‘ Knock knock.
’ ‘ Deserved , for tapping the glass .
@ @ @ @ @ We all learned it sucks.
’ most_unlikely ‘ Fuck… Belugas are way too cute , @ @ @ @ @ lil ’ humans they are wholesome.
’ Thravous

Videos
Well, they do say don’t tap on the glass, a clip that went viral after it was shared by Redditor zedasd who said: ‘Knock knock.’
So that’s why.
‘Deserved, for tapping the glass. We all saw Nemo. We all learned it sucks.’ most_unlikely ‘Fuck… Belugas are way too cute, even when they are scaring lil’ humans they are wholesome.’ Thravous ‘CAWWW CAAWWW MFKERRR’ pik-ku
Reminded us of this all-time classic moment.
READ MORE
‘Scamming a scammer with voice acting’
Source Reddit u/zedasd


thepoke--2020-12-09--The only 5 responses you need to the PM’s secret No Deal damage-limitation unit

Although Boris Johnson has headed over to Brussels to try and work out a deal , face-to-face with the European @ @ @ @ @ der Leyen , nobody is pretending there ’ s much hope of success .
In @ @ @ @ @ far more likely to end its transition period without a deal than with one .
@ @ @ @ @ surprised nobody to learn that the government has been steering its plans in that direction @ @ @ @ @ just about all that needs to be said .
Happy Toast suggested a name for @ @ @ @ @ re sure it ’ s in Boris Johnson ’ s top three possibilities .
Brits @ @ @ @ @ Brexit means Brexit – our 12 favourite responses Source The Times Image Screengrab , Luke @ @ @ @ @ Unsplash ,

News
Although Boris Johnson has headed over to Brussels to try and work out a deal, face-to-face with the European Commission president, Ursula von der Leyen, nobody is pretending there’s much hope of success.
In fact, the UK is far more likely to end its transition period without a deal than with one.
We’re 100 percent sure we’re going to get a deal [later] 90 percent sure [later] 50/50 [later] our chance of a deal now rests on Boris Johnson having a meal with a woman and refraining from trying to have sex with her — James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 9, 2020
It has, therefore, surprised nobody to learn that the government has been steering its plans in that direction.
Boris Johnson has set up a secretive unit to co-ordinate the response to a “nightmare scenario” of a no-deal Brexit combined with a surge in Covid-19 cases and extreme winter weather early next year. https://t.co/neM5tTPbRB — The Times (@thetimes) December 9, 2020
These five responses say just about all that needs to be said.
1.
Waste of time & money. Just shout ‘Project Fear’ at the problems & they’ll all go away. https://t.co/ZBsq8RS04t — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) December 9, 2020
2.
Oh, NOW they call it a nightmare scenario. They’ve been crowing for the best part of three years that No Deal was going to be absolutely brilliant. https://t.co/khfVChu5vv — Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) December 9, 2020
3.
Covid, no deal AND a secretive unit made up of people Boris Johnson has appointed. That's a triple whammy. https://t.co/vYCKNGgtn5 — Chris Addison (@mrchrisaddison) December 9, 2020
4.
It has been dubbed "Scenario A" https://t.co/3dtYIWJXhU — Craig Mac Ádaidh (@Craigadd) December 9, 2020
5.
Happy Toast suggested a name for the unit.
I hope they've named it Project Fear https://t.co/IEE5lKi3gc — HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) December 9, 2020
We’re sure it’s in Boris Johnson’s top three possibilities.
READ MORE
Brits abroad are shocked to discover Brexit means Brexit – our 12 favourite responses
Source The Times Image Screengrab, Luke Jones and Zhang Kenny on Unsplash,


thepoke--2020-12-09--‘Scamming a scammer with voice acting’

‘Scamming a scammer with voice acting’

It ’ s always satisfying to see a scammer scammed , and this example is particularly good .
‘ Scamming @ @ @ @ @ ’ is a video from last year by musician and voice actor Rosie Okumura that @ @ @ @ @ over again on Reddit because it ’ s just so good .
‘ Your videos @ @ @ @ @ I died laughing when you said “ schfity five ” 😂 ’ A7U_G ‘ That @ @ @ @ @ ’ RespectfulAsshole123 ‘ The “ $ 200 ” part where your voice changes a bit @ @ @ @ @ Bravo !
’ FastOrangeCat ‘ That pause at… .
9… .
cards and… 200..
Dollars @ @ @ @ @ voice acting was smoooooth .
Great clip !
’ insane_issac And for a bit of @ @ @ @ @ s the clip in full .
More Rosie Okumura over on Instagram here and YouTube @ @ @ @ @ control ’ is the most relatable thing we ’ ve seen this week

Videos
It’s always satisfying to see a scammer scammed, and this example is particularly good.
‘Scamming a scammer with voice acting’ is a video from last year by musician and voice actor Rosie Okumura that has just gone viral all over again on Reddit because it’s just so good.
‘Your videos are funny as hell, I died laughing when you said “schfity five” 😂’ A7U_G ‘That was actually really amazing!’ RespectfulAsshole123 ‘The “$200” part where your voice changes a bit really seals the deal. Bravo!’ FastOrangeCat ‘That pause at…. 9…. cards and… 200.. Dollars was so precise. The voice acting was smoooooth. Great clip!’ insane_issac
And for a bit of added context, here’s the clip in full.
More Rosie Okumura over on Instagram here and YouTube here.
READ MORE
‘My shower control’ is the most relatable thing we’ve seen this week
Source YouTube Reddit u/rosieokumura


thepoke--2020-12-09--Donald Trump’s vaccine executive order baffled everyone and his own adviser surely put it best

Donald Trump likes signing executives orders almost as much as he likes going on Twitter .
And his latest , @ @ @ @ @ Americans for the Covid-19 vaccine over people from other countries.America First , and all that @ @ @ @ @ bit ( totally ) confused what this latest executive order actually does ( it doesn @ @ @ @ @ , directly increase vaccine production or order additional doses ) .
And Dr. Moncef Slaoui @ @ @ @ @ Operation Warp Speed ” chief science advisor , surely put it best , perfectly put @ @ @ @ @ it reminded people of when this happened back in the day .

Videos
Donald Trump likes signing executive orders almost as much as he likes going on Twitter.
And his latest, apparently, seeks to prioritise Americans for the Covid-19 vaccine over people from other countries. America First, and all that.
Except people are a bit (totally) confused what this latest executive order actually does (it doesn’t, for instance, directly increase vaccine production or order additional doses).
And Dr. Moncef Slaoui, Trump’s “Operation Warp Speed” chief science advisor, surely put it best, perfectly put together by MSNBC.
Boom.
I asked Operation Warp Speed's chief scientific adviser, Moncef Slaoui, to explain Trump's vaccine executive order.
“Frankly, I don't know. And frankly, I'm staying out of this. I can't comment. I literally don't know." — GeorgeStephanopoulos (@GStephanopoulos) December 8, 2020
🎵 When the walls,
Come tumbling down… https://t.co/BtSWKTTkuy — KevinlyFather 🇺🇲🇨🇦🇲🇼🇸🇿 (@KevinlyFather) December 9, 2020
I'm surprised he hasn't done an executive order declaring himself president for life yet. https://t.co/zFDoCHyeWX — Khashoggi’s Ghost (@UROCKlive1) December 9, 2020
Here’s a longer clip of the interview.
BREAKING: Pressed by @GStephanopoulos to explain Pres. Trump’s executive order prioritizing Americans’ access to COVID-19 vaccines before the United States helps other countries, “Operation Warp Speed” Chief Science Adviser Dr. Moncef Slaoui says, “Frankly I don’t know.” pic.twitter.com/Wk7ElJKDaw — Good Morning America (@GMA) December 8, 2020
And it reminded people of when this happened back in the day.
READ MORE
Donald Trump made a comedy quick exit from a medal ceremony to avoid reporters’ questions – 9 favourite responses
Source @Acyn


thepoke--2020-12-09--This flat’s extremely unusual entrance is dividing opinion

Flat-hunting in the UK is a stressful task at the best of times , with absurdly high rental costs , @ @ @ @ @ that don ’ t live up to their advertised potential .
With that in mind @ @ @ @ @ actor/writer Jamie Wilkes , who recently viewed this unique property : He posted the 22-second @ @ @ @ @ entrance on Twitter , where it ’ s garnered a mixed reaction .
Here are @ @ @ @ @ things people are saying about it .
And finally , we ’ ll leave you @ @ @ @ @ terrible landlords who perfectly sum up the nightmare of renting

Twitter
Flat-hunting in the UK is a stressful task at the best of times, with absurdly high rental costs, dodgy landlords, and apartments that don’t live up to their advertised potential.
With that in mind, spare a thought for actor/writer Jamie Wilkes, who recently viewed this unique property:
Viewed a flat today and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop thinking about the back door… pic.twitter.com/uscUF7pLH9 — Jamie Wilkes (@jamwilkes) December 8, 2020
He posted the 22-second video featuring the surprise quirky entrance on Twitter, where it’s garnered a mixed reaction.
Here are just a few of the things people are saying about it.
Can’t decide if this is genius or mad. https://t.co/5spBANAzCD — Byrd (@ByrdSuperb) December 9, 2020
i lift up the hatch to enter and upend the huge greek salad that you were preparing directly onto my head https://t.co/LwfI5aKrjm — mossman (@birdlord5000) December 9, 2020
If Batman was on an average wage in 2020, that would be his back door — The Flat Covid Society #StayHomeStaySexySaveLives (@FlatCovid) December 8, 2020
https://twitter.com/AvivaMaiArtzy/status/1336578907475210242
It’s eminently practical. How else are you supposed to remove the bodies discreetly? — Sumarumi (@sumarumi) December 8, 2020
A secret passage! Enid Blyton would approve. https://t.co/GR5dZ2mWqt — Rinsola Abiola (@RinsolaAbiola) December 9, 2020
And finally, we’ll leave you with this puntastic take…
Imagine if a killer came up those stairs and inadvertently yeeted your Weetabix everywhere whilst you’re trying to have breakfast. No-one wants a cereal killer to appear in their kitchen. — Valentine, Mistletoe and Wine (@valentine_makes) December 8, 2020
READ MORE
14 terrible landlords who perfectly sum up the nightmare of renting
Source: @jamwilkes


thepoke--2020-12-09--Piers Morgan tying Michael Gove up in knots over Covid is a very satisfying watch

Despite the pandemic and all the questions people had over Boris Johnson ’ s handling of the pandemic , government @ @ @ @ @ of this year not appearing on ITV ’ s Good Morning Britain .
They ’ @ @ @ @ @ – Matt Hancock made a memorable appearance yesterday – and Michael Gove was on it @ @ @ @ @ moment when Piers Morgan quizzed him why the UK had so many more Covid deaths @ @ @ @ @ , went viral because , well , have a watch .
More of this sort @ @ @ @ @ Gove can ’ t wait to go on again .
And there was more .
@ @ @ @ @ crying .
Nigella Lawson has a very particular way of saying ‘ microwave ’ and @ @ @ @ @

Videos
Despite the pandemic and all the questions people had over Boris Johnson’s handling of the pandemic, government ministers spent a large part of this year not appearing on ITV’s Good Morning Britain.
They’re back on it now – Matt Hancock made a memorable appearance yesterday – and Michael Gove was on it today.
And this fabulous moment when Piers Morgan quizzed him why the UK had so many more Covid deaths than, say, Germany, went viral because, well, have a watch.
“If you want to talk about context & raise Germany we have had more than 3 times as many deaths as Germany & their population is significantly larger then ours!”@piersmorgan hammers Michael Gove in a masterclass of how to hold Gov’t to account. I hope #BBCBreakfast was watching pic.twitter.com/3o3sY45KUI — Peter Stefanovic (@PeterStefanovi2) December 9, 2020
More of this sort of thing please. Bet Gove can’t wait to go on again.
Love him or loathe him, he certainly knows how to get politicians sweating. And not in a good way. — 12 Daisies 🏴♀🌻 (@TwelveDaisies) December 9, 2020
And there was more.
Piers Morgan – Patrick Vallance said on record that we were following a herd immunity strategy Michael Gove – We were not following a policy of herd immunity Piers Morgan – So Patrick vallance didn't know the policy the govt was following & he's the chief scientific advisor? pic.twitter.com/Sn88dRPonG — Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 (@Haggis_UK) December 9, 2020
Perhaps he should have started crying.
Health Secretary Matt Hancock becomes emotional hearing the words of the first man in the world to receive the vaccine, William Shakespeare. He tearily says ‘it makes you so proud to be British’.@piersmorgan| @susannareid100 Watch the full interview👉https://t.co/fzcHkA6S4k pic.twitter.com/IxzfZ3GAVs — Good Morning Britain (@GMB) December 8, 2020
READ MORE
Nigella Lawson has a very particular way of saying ‘microwave’ and people loved her for it
Source @PeterStefanovi2


thepoke--2020-12-09--‘Santa better wear a F***ing mask’ is the perfect Christmas song for 2020

In spite of the vaccine rolling out in various places , people are being reminded that they need to maintain @ @ @ @ @ their hands throughly and often – and of course , to wear their masks .
@ @ @ @ @ without a valid exemption , and according to Stewart Reynolds , better known as Brittlestar @ @ @ @ @ Father Christmas .
It ’ s the breakout Christmas hit we didn ’ t even @ @ @ @ @ inevitably , Cathy Richards said this .
If you want to watch the version with @ @ @ @ @ can do that here .
Go and give Brittlestar a follow .
This touching farewell @ @ @ @ @ funny as it is NSFW

Videos
In spite of the vaccine rolling out in various places, people are being reminded that they need to maintain social distancing, keep washing their hands throughly and often – and of course, to wear their masks.
Those rules apply to everyone without a valid exemption, and according to Stewart Reynolds, better known as Brittlestar, they even apply to Father Christmas.
SANTA BETTER WEAR A F____ING MASK
(song only edit!) pic.twitter.com/JYBNqprdtC — Brittlestar (@brittlestar) November 28, 2020
It’s the breakout Christmas hit we didn’t even know we needed.
GATHER THE FAMILY TOGETHER AND SING ALONG https://t.co/AdzZPyCM4W pic.twitter.com/QoohMwgeE9 — Brittlestar (@brittlestar) November 29, 2020
My new favourite Xmas song 🤗 https://t.co/r4t5PexpmC — Olena Schell (@OlenaSchell) December 1, 2020
Definitely this year’s breakout Christmas hit! https://t.co/yICmRIPdoA — Vanessa (@VMariePauls) November 30, 2020
A touching tune. 👍😂 https://t.co/udieteZSIm — John F Corrigan (@CorriganLab) November 28, 2020
This is so good! Funny, yet pulls ye olde Christmas heartstrings!🎅🏼 https://t.co/DnVTKFCMTe — themocollins (@THEMOCOLLINS) December 5, 2020
Perhaps inevitably, Cathy Richards said this.
Good shout.
If you want to watch the version with the spoken intro, you can do that here. Go and give Brittlestar a follow.
READ MORE
This touching farewell song for Trump is as funny as it is NSFW
Source Brittlestar Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-09--This 91-year-old’s interview about having the vaccine is a joy to behold

You can ’ t have missed the rollout of the vaccine in the UK on Tuesday , as it was offered to the over-80s , beginning with 90-year-old Margaret Keenan .
What you might have missed was this CNN interview with 91-year-old Martin Kenyon , who was stopped by reporter Cyril Vanier , after leaving Guy ’ s Hospital .
What a guy !
We particularly liked his little dig at the “ nasty lunch ” and “ I hope I ’ m not going to have the bloody bug now.
” We hope he isn ’ t too .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t going to do anything to squash the American idea that Brits all either talk like the Queen or Dick Van Dyke .
Twitter loved him as much as the CNN anchor .
If you thought Martin was in such a positive frame of mind because of having the vaccination , that ’ s apparently not the case .
He ’ s always been this amazing .
Let ’ s hope he gets those hugs before too much longer .
Someone named William Shakespeare got the vaccine and the puns went from @ @ @ @ @ @

Videos
You can’t have missed the rollout of the vaccine in the UK on Tuesday, as it was offered to the over-80s, beginning with 90-year-old Margaret Keenan.
What you might have missed was this CNN interview with 91-year-old Martin Kenyon, who was stopped by reporter Cyril Vanier, after leaving Guy’s Hospital.
Here’s what happened.
this interview wins the day pic.twitter.com/HtnjnyLZwg — Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) December 8, 2020
What a guy! We particularly liked his little dig at the “nasty lunch” and “I hope I’m not going to have the bloody bug now.” We hope he isn’t too.
As an aside, that accent isn’t going to do anything to squash the American idea that Brits all either talk like the Queen or Dick Van Dyke.
Twitter loved him as much as the CNN anchor.
This is one of the all-time great, quintessentially English interviews. https://t.co/4T5vOOuDzf — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) December 8, 2020
This guy is magnificent. https://t.co/kHejN5RZBC — Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) December 8, 2020
What a charming man. At 91 drove himself to the hospital in London, arranged to get the vaccination, had a “nasty lunch”, got innoculated, received a card as proof, and has no intention of dying now. Yes, interview wins the day.❤ — Vote, Organize, Do Good🐥 (@MelissaHBuckner) December 8, 2020
If you thought Martin was in such a positive frame of mind because of having the vaccination, that’s apparently not the case. He’s always been this amazing.
The best part of this is Martin Kenyon was a leading anti-apartheid activist, friend of Desmond Tutu and OR Tambo, and first trustee of the first multi-racial school in South Africa https://t.co/U9DZFNQtal — Lauren Dobson-Hughes (@ldobsonhughes) December 8, 2020
Martin is my wife’s cousin. And this is how he rolls every day, not just vaccination day. https://t.co/XnAPguung3 — David Plouffe (@davidplouffe) December 8, 2020
Let’s hope he gets those hugs before too much longer.
READ MORE
Someone named William Shakespeare got the vaccine and the puns went from Bard to verse – 17 favourites
Source Oliver Darcy Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-09--‘The Galactic Federation interviews Earth for membership’ is the best possible follow-up to the Trum

‘The Galactic Federation interviews Earth for membership’ is the best possible follow-up to the Trump aliens story

In ‘ Seems about right for 2020 ’ news , a former Israeli spy has told a newspaper that aliens @ @ @ @ @ the US government to be allowed to remain in hiding to carry on their experiments @ @ @ @ @ re not sure what ’ s less believable – that aliens exist and are already @ @ @ @ @ Trump has been able to keep a huge secret that doesn ’ t involve his @ @ @ @ @ New York Post reported 87-year-old Haim Eshed ‘ s story , complete with the nugget @ @ @ @ @ a thing called The Galactic Federation , Twitter responded with jokes like these : Actor @ @ @ @ @ , imagined how Earth ’ s application for membership of The Galactic Federation might come @ @ @ @ @ , and it throws some serious shade .
Here are a few of the things @ @ @ @ @ it .
Writer , Dylan Park , said what the rest of us were thinking @ @ @ @ @ claimed that aliens exist and Trump knows about it – 9 hilarious reactions

Videos
In ‘Seems about right for 2020’ news, a former Israeli spy has told a newspaper that aliens have made a deal with the US government to be allowed to remain in hiding to carry on their experiments on Earth.
We’re not sure what’s less believable – that aliens exist and are already on Earth or that Donald Trump has been able to keep a huge secret that doesn’t involve his tax returns.
When the New York Post reported 87-year-old Haim Eshed‘s story, complete with the nugget that the aliens belong to a thing called The Galactic Federation, Twitter responded with jokes like these:
“In hiding?” Then who was that in line behind me at the grocery store? https://t.co/sgYBkNFgFX — Michael Steele (@MichaelSteele) December 8, 2020
LMFAOOOOOOOO imagine traveling light years to come to our shitshow of a planet https://t.co/a0kljlSdaV — rhyme (@Rhymestyle) December 8, 2020
Actor and comedian, Vinny Thomas, imagined how Earth’s application for membership of The Galactic Federation might come unstuck at the interview stage, and it throws some serious shade.
The Galactic Federation interviews Earth for membership pic.twitter.com/okgC7L0IuH — Vinny Thomas (With Eggnog!) (@vinn_ayy) December 8, 2020
Harsh but fair.
Here are a few of the things people had to say about it.
This is pretty damn perfect. https://t.co/3ZRXcbdRuk — Anthony Rapp Voted for Biden Black Lives Matter (@albinokid) December 8, 2020
Well this is simply wonderful https://t.co/SRDlZvH56s — Lydia Botters (@MrLloydSpandex) December 8, 2020
Super funny! — Greg Jenner (@greg_jenner) December 8, 2020
And I don't say this lightly, incredible. https://t.co/0ccP9KRUnz — Franklin Leonard (@franklinleonard) December 8, 2020
Writer, Dylan Park, said what the rest of us were thinking.
Listen, if I wasn’t crying laughing I’d just be crying https://t.co/kSXNZJICGT — Dylan (@dyllyp) December 8, 2020
READ MORE
An ex-Israeli space official claimed that aliens exist and Trump knows about it – 9 hilarious reactions
Source Vinny Thomas Image Screengrab, Screengrab, Brooke Denevan on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-12-09--7 scathing reactions as Gove says a border down the Irish Sea gives N.I. “the best of both worlds”

As you are probably aware , Brexit talks are in diplomatic ITU and the prognosis isn ’ t great , with Boris Johnson about to head over to speak to the European Commission President , Ursula von der Leyen , to apply the paddles to any chance of a deal .
However , one chink of light shone through after it emerged that the parties had agreed on terms for Northern Ireland , allowing the UK to withdraw its threat of some law-breaking clauses in the Internal Market Bill .
The deal struck over NI amounts to a border down @ @ @ @ @ @ @ across their border with the Republic of Ireland .
That same Michael Gove gave an interview praising the new arrangements , and this is how he described Northern Ireland ’ s situation .
“ The best of both worlds ” , eh ?
If only the rest of the UK could have had some kind of deal whereby it had access to the European single market , whilst also being able to trade with other parts of the UK .
As you ’ d expect – everybody had much the same response .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ listened to Michael Gove ’ s Brexit BS was all of us

News
As you are probably aware, Brexit talks are in diplomatic ITU and the prognosis isn’t great, with Boris Johnson about to head over to speak to the European Commission President, Ursula von der Leyen, to apply the paddles to any chance of a deal.
However, one chink of light shone through after it emerged that the parties had agreed on terms for Northern Ireland, allowing the UK to withdraw its threat of some law-breaking clauses in the Internal Market Bill.
Breaking: I have NOT murdered anyone today, hurrah for me. https://t.co/qCQnEzC16M — Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) December 8, 2020
The deal struck over NI amounts to a border down the Irish Sea, allowing frictionless trade across their border with the Republic of Ireland.
Quick reminder that @MichaelGove said he would quit his job if the government backed down on the #InternalMarketBill. pic.twitter.com/JI9GR7Gfdc — Femi😷 (@Femi_Sorry) December 7, 2020
That same Michael Gove gave an interview praising the new arrangements, and this is how he described Northern Ireland’s situation.
'Businesses in Northern Ireland have the opportunity to enjoy the best of both worlds'@MichaelGove says the divorce deal he has agreed with the EU gives Northern Ireland access to both the EU single market and the rest of the UK market https://t.co/2eK9ZDVbMe pic.twitter.com/fN2upPCcOX — ITV News Politics (@ITVNewsPolitics) December 8, 2020
“The best of both worlds”, eh? If only the rest of the UK could have had some kind of deal whereby it had access to the European single market, whilst also being able to trade with other parts of the UK.
via Gfycat
As you’d expect – everybody had much the same response.
1.
Gove says NI now have the best of both worlds as they’ve unfettered access to EU Single Market & UK Single Market. Hold on. This “best of both worlds” scenario is exactly what we had in 2016. So WTF have we just burned £200bn on Brexit for? Some fish?? pic.twitter.com/3mp6wLdJtf — Dr Mike Galsworthy (@mikegalsworthy) December 8, 2020
2.
Fucking amazing that at this point they’ve hedged themselves into having to sell the benefits of the single market they’re tearing us out of pic.twitter.com/F9uyFngLFO — James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 8, 2020
3.
"Businesses in Northern Ireland have the opportunity to enjoy the best of both worlds". …or to give its proper name: 2015. https://t.co/d6ConPPDlo — Nick🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@nicktolhurst) December 8, 2020
4.
So northern Ireland gets the 'best of both worlds' and the rest of U.K. doesn't …. @michaelgove proving that brexit is basically shortchanging most of the U.K…. you couldn't write this shit #brexshit https://t.co/2xTk4SY7y0 — Con O'Neill (@cononeilluk) December 8, 2020
5.
Oily, fish-lipped atrocity Michael Gove here, explaining how maintaining access to EU markets and the UK market represents ‘the best of both worlds’, right after the grotesque little tosser stripped us of precisely those benefits.pic.twitter.com/F4XNYEvEf4 — 🏳🌈 Mary ChristMax 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) December 8, 2020
6.
What a choice of words. Ireland will, apparently, “enjoy the best of both worlds: access to the EU single market and at the same time unfettered access to the rest of the UK market.” Wait! Isn’t that what WE ALL had, before you decided to set it on fire?pic.twitter.com/3NBYHmB7sE — Alex Andreou (@sturdyAlex) December 8, 2020
7.
The whole of the UK had access to the UK and EU markets – the "best of both worlds". It's called being in the EU. https://t.co/GUkFgYuWxd — J. O'Riordan (@gaeltwice) December 8, 2020
Dexter AlmightyOBE had this astute observation.
Michael Gove always sounds like a teenager who has been given a particularly challenging position on a topic in a sixth form debating society. — Dexter AlmightyOBE (@Dexter_Alrighty) December 8, 2020
READ MORE
Theresa May’s face as she listened to Michael Gove’s Brexit BS was all of us
Source ITV News Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-10--People are sharing what they call these four items with different regional names

It ’ s far from a new revelation that Britain has many different names for many different things .
It @ @ @ @ @ that the British dialect can alter dramatically from one town to the next .
Case @ @ @ @ @ to this tweet from @ Ida_Knowe : As expected , the question sparked thousands of @ @ @ @ @ are just a few :

Twitter
It’s far from a new revelation that Britain has many different names for many different things. It’s also no secret that the British dialect can alter dramatically from one town to the next.
Case in point, the replies to this tweet from @Ida_Knowe:
What do you call these?? pic.twitter.com/fwPQQkX4H2 — MILF Island (@Ida_Knowe) December 9, 2020
As expected, the question sparked thousands of responses on Twitter. Here are just a few:
1. Roll
2. Dressing Gown
3. Alley Way
4. Crust — Gareth Thomas (@Gareth_WT) December 9, 2020
1. Breadcake
2. Dressing gown
3. Gennel
4. Crust — Paul Bronks (@SlenderSherbet) December 9, 2020
Roll
Robe
Alley
Heel — Mari Lewis (@MariCLewis) December 9, 2020
1. Roll
2. Housecoat
3. Alley
4. Outsider — Mrs R (@___MrsR___) December 9, 2020
Teacake. Dressing Gown. Ginnel. Crust. — Grant (@ghud68) December 9, 2020
In summary:
America: You drive for four hours. You are still in the same part of the country. UK: You drive for two hours. The local accent has changed twice. Bread rolls have a new name. — Stefan (@Zin5ki) August 3, 2020
READ MORE
This flat’s extremely unusual entrance is dividing opinion
Source: @Ida_Knowe


thepoke--2020-12-09--24 of the most hilariously middle-class things overheard in Waitrose

At this point , Overhead in Waitrose is essentially an internet cult classic .
If you ’ re unfmailiar with @ @ @ @ @ s exactly what it sounds like : the everyday things people have overheard while shopping @ @ @ @ @ to do , here are 24 of the most bizzare , middle-class , and hilarious @ @ @ @ @ This thread of football shirts designed for UK supermarkets scores on every front

Twitter
At this point, Overhead in Waitrose is essentially an internet cult classic. If you’re unfmailiar with the concept, it’s exactly what it sounds like: the everyday things people have overheard while shopping in Waitrose.
Without further to do, here are 24 of the most bizzare, middle-class, and hilarious things overheard in Waitrose:
1.
Overheard in Waitrose “ shall we buy a tin of performative biscuits, or some biscuits we actually want to eat?” — Philippa_Perry (@Philippa_Perry) December 22, 2019
2.
Overheard in Waitrose. “I really don’t understand people who panic buy – she’s got toilet paper and bags of dried pasta piled high on her kitchen table!” “Well you never know what’s happening in people’s lives, do you? She may not have a larder.”#coronavirus — Dawn E. Coxwell ✍🏻 💙 (@DawnCoxwell) March 10, 2020
3.
Overheard in Waitrose: “Jemima, you’ll have to take the rosemary off the focaccia before we feed the ducks, darling….they can’t digest it!” — Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) February 10, 2016
4.
Overheard in Waitrose: “well I’ll have to wipe my arse with kitchen roll. It’s not ideal but it’s all we’ve got Ken” 😂 — Charlotte (@charlhan19) March 13, 2020
5.
Overheard in Waitrose: "My child, you don't know what need means until you've need, need, needed a glass of Pimms on a summer's afternoon." — Dan Attfield (@danattfield) July 19, 2014
6.
Genuinely overheard in Waitrose: ‘excuse me sir would you mind showing me where I can find the **upmarket** champagne?’ — Karim Palant (@KarimPalant) November 9, 2019
7.
Overheard in @waitrose at the butcher counter.. "Can you believe I was 40 before I had quail?" #overheardconversations #waitrose #quail — KP (@KendalHove) January 5, 2017
8.
Overheard in Waitrose Chiswick "Mummy does Lego have a silent t like Merlot?" @leecadden1 — RM (@em_ba_see) December 22, 2014
9.
Just overheard a shop assistant in Waitrose say to a co-worker, ‘So, are you a Greg or a Gregory?’
He said, ‘My name’s Steve’…. — Jason Buckner (@Jasonbuckner104) September 15, 2018
10.
Overheard in the local Waitrose (on the phone): "Yes I know it ruins everything Karen but they've run out of fresh cranberries. No there's none in the grocers either. Well what do you want me to do Karen, BLOODY GROW THEM?"#ChristmasEveEve — Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) December 23, 2018
11.
Overheard in Waitrose "Madam, lower your voice, this isn't Asda" — Minturn Alexander (@minturnalexandr) February 15, 2020
12.
Overheard in Waitrose just now – and I kid you not . On phone “ it’s absolute carnage in here – no goji berries , no quails eggs and no samphire – all out of stock . God knows what I’m going to do tonight “ Hope that isn’t your invite ! #NYE2018 — Alison Clarke (@pitchwitch) December 31, 2018
13.
#overheardinwaitrose
"Darling, put that straight back. Purple sprouting broccoli brings Joshua out in hives" — Paul Foster (@MrPaulFoster) May 17, 2018
14.
Overheard in Waitrose:
Dad: are you still not eating venison sausages?
~5y/o daughter: No not at this moment
Dad: oh dear. Pork then. — B (@B_WTB) August 29, 2015
15.
Just overheard in Waitrose: "No Fennella. Put that nasty milk back. Mummy only buys organic." — Louisa Hannan (@louhannan) June 18, 2016
16.
“I’m putting together gift bags for my builders.” #overheardinwaitrose — Sarah Meads (@highonthecleeve) October 15, 2018
17.
Overheard in @Waitrose:
Little girl: "Daddy, why can't Alfie eat real dog food?"
Daddy: "Because Alfie's a vegetarian like the rest of us." — Gerry Stergiopoulos (@GerryGreek) August 11, 2015
18.
Overheard in Waitrose: "I'm pretty sure male chickens don't lay eggs." "They only find out if a chicken is female when an egg pops out". I need a drink. — Dr Benjamin 'Ward Viking' Janaway (@drjanaway) October 13, 2018
19.
Once overheard in Waitrose:
"No, Giles! Get a nice Chablis. What is it with you and your obsession with Sauvignon Blanc?" — Ian Power (@IHPower) July 27, 2017
20.
overheard in waitrose: "god, planning christmas dinner is a real pavlova!" — beth ashley (@bethmayashley) December 24, 2019
21.
"Oh look, giant crumpets!" "No Anthony, not after last time" #overheardinwaitrose — Alison Denham (@paddymaid) November 4, 2017
22.
https://twitter.com/Kateandtheboys/status/883282557533642753
23.
https://twitter.com/sharonodea/status/932271713638809600
24.
Overheard in Norwich Waitrose today. Mother to small child: "Jeremy, you can't run in here. THIS IS WAITROSE." — Tom Cox (@cox_tom) June 1, 2013
READ MORE
This thread of football shirts designed for UK supermarkets scores on every front


thepoke--2020-12-10--Americans have just discovered kettles and British people are once again in shock

Britain and America have a strained history when it comes to tea , which might partly explain why it seems to have taken Americans so long to adopt one of Britain ’ s most prized possessions : the kettle .
But good news , despite this debate rearing it ’ s ugly head annually , Americans have discovered kettles ( again ) .
In case you ’ re wondering how some Americans have heated their water in the past , here ’ s a short video to educate and enrage you in equal measure : Needless to say , it @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to the present day , where the humble kitchen appliance is gaining new fans across the pond .
Here ’ s what some British people had to say : For anyone curious as to the real reason most Americans don ’ t own a kettle , it ’ s actually to do with the voltage .
Most homes in the US operate on 100-127 volts , whereas the UK and many other countries use between 220 and 240 volts .
Science .
Here ’ s hoping the US continues down its path of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ‘ how we make tea in America ‘ is 100 % WTF

Pics
Britain and America have a strained history when it comes to tea, which might partly explain why it seems to have taken Americans so long to adopt one of Britain’s most prized possessions: the kettle.
But good news, despite this debate rearing it’s ugly head annually, Americans have discovered kettles (again).
https://twitter.com/GameBoiiSav/status/1335243116174057473
In case you’re wondering how some Americans have heated their water in the past, here’s a short video to educate and enrage you in equal measure:
never been so triggered in my life pic.twitter.com/NW5vpWtmil — holl ≅ (@whatforholl) June 7, 2020
Needless to say, it’s a somewhat controversial method…
ive only been in london for a few hours and ive already been told twice that americans are dumb because they heard we microwave water to make tea — justine (@biticonjustine) October 13, 2018
Back to the present day, where the humble kitchen appliance is gaining new fans across the pond.
https://twitter.com/earringdealer/status/1335117779935047680
Here’s what some British people had to say:
This is so true and so weird. I once explained to an American friend what a kettle was and he reacted like I'd just invented a jet pack. https://t.co/o2A8FZ8u1S — Ben Newmark (@bennewmark) December 6, 2020
Just to reinforce how much Americans don't get kettles… They don't only call them "tea kettles"… Mr Coffee Tea Kettle. pic.twitter.com/azsLo4DO0Y — Cybergibbons (@cybergibbons) December 6, 2020
For anyone curious as to the real reason most Americans don’t own a kettle, it’s actually to do with the voltage. Most homes in the US operate on 100-127 volts, whereas the UK and many other countries use between 220 and 240 volts. Science.
Here’s hoping the US continues down its path of discovery…
They’ve finally discovered kettles! Next step health care? — Leona ✨ (@bubblekittea) December 6, 2020
READ MORE
This mum’s guide to ‘how we make tea in America ‘ is 100% WTF
Source: @GameBoiiSav / https://pixabay.com/photos/electric-kettle-kitchenware-1644823/ https://pixabay.com/photos/coffee-with-milk-cut-breakfast-cup-943070/


thepoke--2020-12-10--‘Man with toy that repeats words gets pulled over by police’

It ’ s all very well having a toy on your dashboard that repeats words , but what happens if @ @ @ @ @ the police ?
This happens .
It ’ s not an entirely new clip but @ @ @ @ @ was shared by Redditor nasirnufael .
‘ The fact I don ’ t understand the @ @ @ @ @ this even more funny.
’ SlightlyStable I : Good day , I ’ m captain @ @ @ @ @ documents , please .
I : Wait , what , that was the hamster speaking @ @ @ @ @ turn that hamster off now .
I : Everything is in order , be on @ @ @ @ @ Did any one else hear “ slappa da base ” at the end … ’ @ @ @ @ @ respond to a hater ’

Videos
It’s all very well having a toy on your dashboard that repeats words, but what happens if you get pulled over by the police? This happens.
It’s not an entirely new clip but it went viral after it was shared by Redditor nasirnufael.
‘The fact I don’t understand the language spoken here somehow makes this even more funny.’ SlightlyStable
Absolutely. But just in case you want to know …
‘Enjoy translation: I: Good day, I’m captain Dobrinin, hand over your documents, please. (Hamster talks) I: What did you say? (Hamster repeats) I: Captain Dobrinin, your documents please. (Hamster repeats) I: Wait, what, that was the hamster speaking? (Dude laughs) I: Right, turn that hamster off now. (Dude hands over documents) I: Everything is in order, be on your merry way! M: Glory to the traffic police (DPS)! (Hamster repeats).’ Turok301
READ MORE
‘Best way to respond to a hater’
Source Reddit u/nasirnufael YouTube


thepoke--2020-12-10--Rules, vaccines and tiers before bedtime – our 14 favourite coronavirus jokes

There ’ s finally a working vaccine out in the community – as long as the community has the capability @ @ @ @ @ 80 degrees below zero .
It ’ s not yet game over for the coronavirus @ @ @ @ @ still have legitimate concerns : Will the vaccine prevent transmission of the virus or just @ @ @ @ @ create a problem with supply and demand ?
Is a facemask that looks like Rudolph @ @ @ @ @ gift for a 16-year-old ?
Here are some of our favourite tweets on the topic @ @ @ @ @ vaccines – 14 funny things people have said about the pandemic

Twitter
There’s finally a working vaccine out in the community – as long as the community has the capability to store the substance at 80 degrees below zero.
It’s not yet game over for the coronavirus, though, so people still have legitimate concerns:
Will the vaccine prevent transmission of the virus or just control symptoms? Will Brexit create a problem with supply and demand? Is a facemask that looks like Rudolph’s nose a suitable gift for a 16-year-old?
Stuff like that.
Here are some of our favourite tweets on the topic.
1.
I urgently need a 100% efficacy vaccine against Covidiots. They’re destroying my brain cells. — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) December 1, 2020
2.
The UK watching the government roll out the vaccine pic.twitter.com/r6dzpDi4wx — James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 2, 2020
3.
When they say tier 3 would be catastrophic for London it just makes you thankful that tier 3 isn’t that serious up here in Leeds, Wakefield and Manchester etc. Must get worse as it goes down the M1. — Grant (@ghud68) December 9, 2020
4.
Your phone has a GPS. Just in case you’re worried the tracking chip in your vaccine might not work. Facebook already knows when you’re falling out of love with your partner and can speed that process up if they like. So don’t panic they’ll stop Bill Gates controlling you. — Bethany Black twitch.tv/beffernieblack (@BeffernieBlack) December 2, 2020
5.
It doesn’t matter that I have no idea how we are going to roll out the vaccine and keep it at the right temperature, as that sort of detail will be in the safe hands of Group 4, Serco or whoever we get to do it.#PMQs — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) December 2, 2020
6.
[Secret space station]
Bill Gates: What's Margaret up to now?
Evil scientist: She's drinking her 6th cup of tea & watching A Place in the Sun
Bill Gates: Mwhahahaha! Excellent — joe heenan (@joeheenan) December 8, 2020
7.
Can’t believe the government is ploughing ahead with this vaccine programme when @Dave12hhff7363 from Mansfield has clearly stated it’s an Illuminati conspiracy — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) December 2, 2020
8.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me, twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords a-leaping, and, unintentionally, a visit from the COVID Enforcement officers — Craig Beadle (@CraigJBeadle) December 2, 2020
9.
I'd love it if Bill Gates controlled me using a microchip. He couldn't do a worse job than I'm doing. — Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) December 8, 2020
10.
I can't wait til my Nanna is vaccinated and I can cough directly in to her mouth. — Sooz "Christmas" Kempner (@SoozUK) December 8, 2020
11.
Public health message: You are typing “vaccines are microchips so they can track us” into your smartphone full of microchips that actually are tracking you. — Dr Dominic Pimenta (@DrDomPimenta) December 8, 2020
12.
I hope the vaccine is a guy blow darting from a hot air balloon — Matt O'Brien (@matt_obrien) December 9, 2020
13.
GUYS. The vaccine is them trying to control us. My taxi driver just told me. — Luke Kempner (@LukeKempner) December 9, 2020
14.
what if covid is caused by tiny monoliths appearing in the body — Zoë Tomalin (@ZoeTomalin) December 7, 2020
READ MORE
Tiers, masks and vaccines – 14 funny things people have said about the pandemic
Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-10--‘As a European, this is how I’d summarise America right now’

It ’ s a tough ask to summarise an entire nation in just one picture .
But if the number of people who liked this image is anything to go by , then this might come close .
It was shared by Redditor wibbly118 who said : ‘ As a European , this is how I ’ d summarise America right now.
’ And here it is .
And here are just a few of the things people were saying about it .
‘ So guns , Jeeps and cheap weed .
That ’ s ONE perspective to have.
’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ should be comically large pickup trucks.
’ graywh ‘ Dang .
Those are some deals.
’ fxd ‘ You act like this is a bad thing ?
’ satans_proponent ‘ I ’ ve never seen so much freedom in a single picture.
’ false_shep ‘ As an American I ’ m never sure how to summarize Europe because I don ’ t follow your current events whatsoever.
’ MrBae And just in case you ’ re wondering , it ’ s in Oregon , apparently , ‘ This is my home town !
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ , its a few years old ( maybe 4 ? )
.
The gun was a decent pump action shotgun with wood furniture ( pretty sure it was the Remington 870 express ) .
The weed shop was one of the first to open in our county when Oregon legalized weed .
It actually opened prior to the bill going into effect anticipating that it would !
Edit : For clarification , its a weed shop BEHIND a car lot .
And just to the right out of frame is a restaurant that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ following Covid guidelines .
Lots of mindsets on that block.
’ Slav_Dog ‘ Best way to respond to a hater ’ is very cleverly done and immensely satisfying

Pics
It’s a tough ask to summarise an entire nation in just one picture. But if the number of people who liked this image is anything to go by, then this might come close.
It was shared by Redditor wibbly118 who said: ‘As a European, this is how I’d summarise America right now.’
And here it is.
And here are just a few of the things people were saying about it.
‘So guns, Jeeps and cheap weed. That’s ONE perspective to have.’ ToMuchNietzsche ‘Instead of jeeps, it should be comically large pickup trucks.’ graywh ‘Dang. Those are some deals.’ fxd ‘You act like this is a bad thing?’ satans_proponent ‘I’ve never seen so much freedom in a single picture.’ false_shep ‘As an American I’m never sure how to summarize Europe because I don’t follow your current events whatsoever.’
MrBae
And just in case you’re wondering, it’s in Oregon, apparently,
‘This is my home town! I love seeing this picture go around, its a few years old (maybe 4?). The gun was a decent pump action shotgun with wood furniture (pretty sure it was the Remington 870 express). The weed shop was one of the first to open in our county when Oregon legalized weed. It actually opened prior to the bill going into effect anticipating that it would! ‘Edit: For clarification, its a weed shop BEHIND a car lot. And just to the right out of frame is a restaurant that has been shut down TWICE for not following Covid guidelines. Lots of mindsets on that block.’ Slav_Dog
READ MORE
‘Best way to respond to a hater’ is very cleverly done and immensely satisfying
Source Reddit u/wibbly118


thepoke--2020-12-10--‘Best way to respond to a hater’ is very cleverly done and immensely satisfying

‘ Best way to respond to a hater , ’ says Thenightmeh over on Reddit .
And it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ than hitting ‘ delete ’ .
‘ Me too 🙂 The three stops at the @ @ @ @ @ After two STOPs , you could ’ ve sent “ Stopping has been stopped .
@ @ @ @ @ ’ Predestined8 ‘ Don ’ t talk if you didn ’ t live in the @ @ @

Popular
‘Best way to respond to a hater,’ says Thenightmeh over on Reddit. And it’s definitely a lot more satisfying than hitting ‘delete’.
Bravo!
‘This made me smile.’ rotterdamuser111 ‘Me too 🙂 The three stops at the end LMAOO.’ SadBlueberry_ ‘After two STOPs, you could’ve sent “Stopping has been stopped. Complaint registered successfully”.’ Predestined8
READ MORE
‘Don’t talk if you didn’t live in the Middle Ages’
Source Reddit u/Thenightmeh


thepoke--2020-12-10--‘Don’t talk if you didn’t live in the Middle Ages’

Leading contender for facepalm of the week is surely this , a guy who took issue with this CNN story @ @ @ @ @ Specifically , the suggestion that the two gas giants will be coming closer together than @ @ @ @ @ well , a long time ago .
Fortunately someone was around to help and it @ @ @ @ @ read .
‘ The people who doubt this science are the same people who couldn @ @ @ @ @ technology it has created.
’ TrueFireduck A salutary lesson never to assume it ’ s @ @ @

Pics
Leading contender for facepalm of the week is surely this, a guy who took issue with this CNN story about Saturn and Jupiter.
Specifically, the suggestion that the two gas giants will be coming closer together than at any time since, well, a long time ago.
Fortunately someone was around to help and it’s a very satisfying read.
‘The people who doubt this science are the same people who couldn’t live without the technology it has created.’ TrueFireduck
READ MORE
A salutary lesson never to assume it’s an automated message
Source Imgur unlessyouazombie Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-12-10--The Spider-Man 3 cast continues to grow and it’s turned into a meme

The old saying goes that the average human swallows eight spiders a year in their sleep , although it ’ @ @ @ @ @ you ’ re more likely to swallow a Spider-Man movie .
The latest movie to @ @ @ @ @ slated for release in December of 2021 , has been building an impressive cast list @ @ @ @ @ being the newest name attached to the movie .
Currently , the untitled sequel to @ @ @ @ @ is also set to star Tom Holland , Andrew Garfield , Tobey Maguire , Emma @ @ @ @ @ Molina , Jamie Foxx , Marisa Tomei , Jacob Batalon , Benedict Cumberbatch .
As @ @ @ @ @ ( re ) joining the franchise has been revealed , Twitter has been busy with @ @ @ @ @ Reynolds and Taylor Swift pooled their skills to make the best dating app ad for @

Pics
The old saying goes that the average human swallows eight spiders a year in their sleep, although it’s starting to feel like you’re more likely to swallow a Spider-Man movie.
The latest movie to star the heroic web-slinger, slated for release in December of 2021, has been building an impressive cast list with Daredevil actor Charlie Cox becoming the newest name attached to the movie.
Currently, the untitled sequel to Spider-Man: Far From Home is also set to star Tom Holland, Andrew Garfield, Tobey Maguire, Emma Stone, Zendaya, Alfred Molina, Jamie Foxx, Marisa Tomei, Jacob Batalon, Benedict Cumberbatch.
That’s a lot of people.
As the ever-increasing list of actors (re)joining the franchise has been revealed, Twitter has been busy with their own casting:
BREAKING: The entire cast of Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again will be joining Spider-Man 3 pic.twitter.com/gzSQ3omjSP — kit kringle (@kitshrek) December 9, 2020
BREAKING: Grover is reportedly in talks to reprise his role as Spider-Monster in SPIDER-MAN 3! pic.twitter.com/xzpqEBWMxu — Muppet History (@HistoryMuppet) December 10, 2020
BREAKING: Cate Blanchett will reportedly reprise her role as Carol Aird in the upcoming SPIDER-MAN 3. pic.twitter.com/dVxhjwtdXs — obi wan flynobi (@flyinvisible) December 9, 2020
PULP FICTION'S The Gimp rumored to return for SPIDER-MAN 3. pic.twitter.com/XZzQ3SXyl7 — Kevin Maher (@KevinGeeksOut) December 9, 2020
BREAKING: Matthew Morrison will reportedly reprise his role as The Grinch in the upcoming SPIDER-MAN 3. pic.twitter.com/y972cK7aqB — nile (@storyteIIers) December 10, 2020
Spoderman is rumored to return in “Spider-Man 3” (Source: hshshdbdjskwn) pic.twitter.com/Bw6ZwKgGmQ — MattWillPost (@MattPostSaysHi) December 9, 2020
BREAKING: Will Smith will reprise his character from Wild Wild West in the upcoming Spider-Man 3 pic.twitter.com/HHLhqGNbqQ — 1/4 Black Santa (@QTRBlackGarrett) December 9, 2020
Gérard Depardieu is rumored to return as Obelix in Spider-Man 3 source : @THR pic.twitter.com/SXj6hBPVMg — Fungus Veneficus (@BDXWallCrawler) December 9, 2020
BREAKING: Somehow Palpatine has returned! Dark Lord of the Sith Emperor Sheev Palpatine to return in Spider-Man 3. pic.twitter.com/JP8LwJE69E — DJ Clulow (@djclulow) December 9, 2020
https://twitter.com/BabyLamb5/status/1336752887477637120
In conclusion…
marvel casting actors for spider-man 3 pic.twitter.com/wlDQw32uWK — out of context marvel (@nocontextmarveI) December 9, 2020
READ MORE
Ryan Reynolds and Taylor Swift pooled their skills to make the best dating app ad for 2020
Source: Marvel / Sony Pictures Releasing


thepoke--2020-12-10--Mark Hamill congratulated Donald Trump after he tweeted this and it’s brilliant

Donald Trump continues to refuse to accept that he lost the election to Joe Biden , and this tweet in @ @ @ @ @ of attention .
Not because it makes a convincing argument or provide any evidence that @ @ @ @ @ by a landslide , obviously .
But because it prompted lots of people to send @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s rather marvellous .
Best of all was this , from Luke Skywalker @ @ @ @ @ And while we ’ re at it , there was also some fact checking going @ @ @ @ @ ll never guess ( yes you will … ) These Trump supporters were asked why @ @ @ @ @ masks and you ’ ll be facepalming into next week

Twitter
Donald Trump continues to refuse to accept that he lost the election to Joe Biden, and this tweet in particular has been getting lots of attention.
Not because it makes a convincing argument or provide any evidence that Trump might not have lost by a landslide, obviously.
No candidate has ever won both Florida and Ohio and lost. I won them both, by a lot! #SupremeCourt — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 9, 2020
But because it prompted lots of people to send him their mock congratulations and it’s rather marvellous.
Congratulations on being the first! https://t.co/6idt3JI8r7 — Ana Navarro-Cárdenas (@ananavarro) December 9, 2020
Best of all was this, from Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill.
Don't be modest, you've broken MANY records! Not only are you the 1st candidate to win both Florida & Ohio & still LOSE, you're also the 1st IMPEACHED president to run for re-election, as well as the 1st president to lose the popular vote TWICE, by a lot! #RecordBreakingLOSER https://t.co/4pl3oGsV1O — Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) December 9, 2020
Boom.
And while we’re at it, there was also some fact checking going on. And you’ll never guess (yes you will …)
This is just too easily fact checked. Nixon won Florida and Ohio in 1960 and lost. https://t.co/h3MZshNUhV pic.twitter.com/TLC8UkREXN — Jamie Dupree (@jamiedupree) December 9, 2020
Perhaps my old boss @dick_nixon has some thoughts on this, but it's another reminder that this is the most palpably stupid human being ever to sit in the Oval. https://t.co/mmsBszB5vX — Tom Nichols (@RadioFreeTom) December 9, 2020
No candidate ever won–before 2016–with the help of an extensive covert Russian operation. You managed to be a first in that regard. https://t.co/uAJfRjD1pU — David Corn (@DavidCornDC) December 9, 2020
The best way to look at this is that no one in Donald Trump's life loves him enough to urge him to get the professional help he so desperately needs. @RealDonaldTrump is in a state of profound delusion, derangement, and emotional disarray and no one cares enough to lift a finger. https://t.co/z7HbwQO2ic — Seth Abramson (@SethAbramson) December 9, 2020
READ MORE
These Trump supporters were asked why they don’t wear masks and you’ll be facepalming into next week
Source Twitter @realDonaldTrump


thepoke--2020-12-10--This joke about the vaccine was made even funnier by the mask sceptic who didn’t get it

Amid the thousands of jokes about the roll-out of the vaccine , you could be forgiven for having missed this @ @ @ @ @ ’ s Tom Peck .
A lot of people reacted as you ’ d expect @ @ @ @ @ appreciation or joining in with the joke .
However , so many people thought the @ @ @ @ @ Tom felt compelled to post this : Among them was one of the most vocal @ @ @ @ @ of the current level of anti-coronavirus measures , Darren Grimes .
He was right about @ @ @ @ @ it was Tom ’ s , not Vera ’ s .
In fairness to Darren @ @ @ @ @ to wear a mask – it ’ s just that he ’ s also reluctant @ @ @ @ @ .
Tom spotted the gaffe and passed it on .
Brexiter Darren Grimes tried to @ @ @ @ @ and got totally owned – 9 perfect smackdowns

Pics
Amid the thousands of jokes about the roll-out of the vaccine, you could be forgiven for having missed this absolute zinger from The Independent’s Tom Peck.
Vera Dobson, aged 88, who became only the fourth person to receive the Covid-19 vaccine, told ITV News: “I am just so lucky. Sometimes I get hopelessly lost, even just on my way home from the shops, but now I’ve been microchipped Bill Gates will always know where I am.” — Tom Peck (@tompeck) December 8, 2020
A lot of people reacted as you’d expect – with a bit of appreciation or joining in with the joke.
🤣 Will it improve my WiFi? https://t.co/uR5Z9o9PGV — Alex (@AlexMumOf2) December 8, 2020
Vaccine 2.0 will have 5G! — Dr Martin Character Matters (@MartinRemains) December 8, 2020
However, so many people thought the tweet was true, that Tom felt compelled to post this:
(I feel like there are a worryingly large number of people who are unaware this is very obviously completely made up) — Tom Peck (@tompeck) December 8, 2020
Among them was one of the most vocal Brexiters and now an opponent of the current level of anti-coronavirus measures, Darren Grimes.
He was right about the British humour, but it was Tom’s, not Vera’s.
In fairness to Darren Grimes, he is prepared to wear a mask – it’s just that he’s also reluctant to stop moaning about it.
I know many will tell me of my selfishness for this, but I despise wearing a mask and dread the compulsory wearing of them. They're so dehumanising. You miss a smile, you can miss dialogue and social interaction with staff. They're the most miserable public health initiative yet. — Darren Grimes (@darrengrimes_) July 13, 2020
I couldn't get hold of a standard mask, so I'm wearing a full-face covering. I'm really worried that as I head to public transport someone will assume I'm a yob that wants to pull down a statue or throw missiles at a police officer. pic.twitter.com/0mwHHvvdix — Darren Grimes (@darrengrimes_) June 10, 2020
Tom spotted the gaffe and passed it on.
Twitter was amused.
I love it when you expose yourself as an absolute idiot https://t.co/FdrVLVYca4 — Luke O’Nien Appreciation Society (@stiffinho) December 9, 2020
dunno if it's the Brexit waiting but i just properly lost it at this — Jessica Elgot (@jessicaelgot) December 9, 2020
He’s still kept it up. This is more proof Darren is not only an irresponsible jerk off. He’s incredibly thick who is gullible that he swallows lies with verifying. Irresponsible tit https://t.co/g1OuYU2lIN — shaquille_oatmeal (@akmufc2020) December 10, 2020
I really love that you constantly make a fool out of yourself on here, day-in day-out. Anytime I feel bad about my life, I always comfort myself by saying “hey, at least I’m not as idiotic as Darren Grimes” x https://t.co/QH9pGY1mtb — Jacho Libre (@TheJackEyedPeas) December 10, 2020
Finally …
I mean, yes, this is very funny, but it’s also the Twitter equivalent of pretending to throw a ball for a particularly dimwitted dog and watching him hare off into a lake. — The Secret Barrister (@BarristerSecret) December 9, 2020
READ MORE
Brexiter Darren Grimes tried to play the working class card and got totally owned – 9 perfect smackdowns
Source Tom Peck Image Tom Peck, Daniel Schludi on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-12-10--Boris Johnson’s ‘tight ship’ exchange with Ursula von Der Leyen is peak Brexit cringe

As you ’ ll know by now , Boris Johnson travelled to Brussels for dinner with the president of the @ @ @ @ @ der Leyen , in a bid to reach a last-minute Brexit deal before the end @ @ @ @ @ were lots of funny takes – you can read 14 of the funniest here – @ @ @ @ @ re here is this exchange between the two which , if it ’ s not @ @ @ @ @ very close .
And here are our favourite things people said about it .
The @ @ @ @ @ Johnson ’ s Brexit talks dinner with Ursula von der Leyen

Videos
As you’ll know by now, Boris Johnson travelled to Brussels for dinner with the president of the EU Commission, Ursula von der Leyen, in a bid to reach a last-minute Brexit deal before the end of the year.
There were lots of funny takes – you can read 14 of the funniest here – but the reason we’re here is this exchange between the two which, if it’s not peak cringe, is somewhere very close.
WATCH: @BorisJohnson “do we keep our masks on Ursula?@VonDerLeyen “keep distance”@VonDerLeyen: “You have to put it (mask) back on…”@BorisJohnson: “Put it back on immediately? You run a tight ship here, Ursula, and quite right too” Imagine dinnerpic.twitter.com/HabClUt2kN — Darren McCaffrey (@DarrenEuronews) December 9, 2020
And here are our favourite things people said about it.
Johnson is a national embarrassment. pic.twitter.com/y8T0IhZ7P9 — Tim Walker (@ThatTimWalker) December 9, 2020
So he’s decided to turn up as the clown. Not really a surprise. It’s the only role that really suits him. — wolfpaw (@wolfpaw_UK) December 9, 2020
All the style and grace of a toddler with a full nappy…. https://t.co/FO9BaXrdQO — Brexitshambles (@brexit_sham) December 9, 2020
Mum ushers child along https://t.co/W9WKPDZ8re — SpanishDan “princess nut nut ”FBPE (@SpanishDan1) December 9, 2020
She is used to dealing with children. — FriendofBrenda (@FriendofBrenda) December 9, 2020
Treating everything as a bit of joke is possibly not a bad thing to have as a local librarian, gardener or receptionist… …but for a Prime Minister trashing a country's entire trade model in the midst of a pandemic…..maybe its not the best thing. https://t.co/o8xCZoOOky — Nick🇬🇧🇪🇺🇺🇦 (@nicktolhurst) December 9, 2020
That man is all of us, tonight, at that meeting, in front of the whole world’s press. — Neil Fawcett (@BarristerNF) December 9, 2020
"You run a tight ship here, Ursula, and quite right too." pic.twitter.com/OTh86OaLIZ — Graeme Demianyk (@GraemeDemianyk) December 9, 2020
READ MORE
The 14 funniest takes on Boris Johnson’s Brexit talks dinner with Ursula von der Leyen
Source @DarrenEuronews @andrewiconnell


thepoke--2020-12-10--The Financial Times said Remainers shouldn’t gloat – our 9 favourite clapbacks

It can surely come as no surprise to anybody that the hashtag # BrexitShambles regularly makes an appearance on Twitter @ @ @ @ @ at the news will confirm the reasons .
The evident failure of Brexit was the @ @ @ @ @ in Wednesday ’ s Financial Times , but the apparent target was not the politicians @ @ @ @ @ ’ t possibly be kept or the voters who cried “ project fear ” at @ @ @ @ @ outcomes .
The central theme was a warning to Remainers to *checks notes* refrain from @ @ @ @ @ like a dry cough at a dental appointment .
Journalist , Jonathan Lis , imagined @ @ @ @ @ had been a roaring success .
The 14 funniest takes on Boris Johnson ’ s @ @ @ @ @ von der Leyen

Popular
It can surely come as no surprise to anybody that the hashtag #BrexitShambles regularly makes an appearance on Twitter, and a cursory glance at the news will confirm the reasons.
The evident failure of Brexit was the topic of an opinion piece in Wednesday’s Financial Times, but the apparent target was not the politicians who made promises that couldn’t possibly be kept or the voters who cried “project fear” at every warning of the inevitable outcomes.
The central theme was a warning to Remainers to *checks notes* refrain from gloating.
Remainers must not gloat over Brexit’s failures https://t.co/vd83rfbNx5 — Financial Times (@FT) December 9, 2020
It went down like a dry cough at a dental appointment.
1.
Sick with anxiety, distressed at what is happening to our country and the damage being caused, this seems an unbelievably inapt edict. https://t.co/tQIMoLvkii — Jessica Simor QC (@JMPSimor) December 9, 2020
2.
2016: Ha ha we won, you lost, get over it. 2017: Ha ha we won, you lost, get over it. 2018: Ha ha we won, you lost, get over it. 2019: Ha ha we won, you lost, get over it. 2020: Gloating isn't very constructive you know. https://t.co/8ZxKDV3HTb — Matthew Hankins (@mc_hankins) December 9, 2020
3.
Gloating would be an odd reaction to everything going tits up anyway. Ha ha I’m absolutely fucked here, this country in which I live has gone to shit, in your face! https://t.co/leBamrnAMv — James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 9, 2020
4.
me, a smug remainer, as the economy grinds to a halt and this miserable island descends into a smouldering, Mad Max wasteland: heheh, fuckin told you so https://t.co/4NyIIbHrQ0 — Steve Hogarty (@misterbrilliant) December 9, 2020
5.
Is running round crying “ahhh this is such a shit show ahhh why why why why why” gloating https://t.co/ZniiVH6Z8Q — Rosie Holt (@RosieisaHolt) December 9, 2020
6.
I won't gloat over people losing jobs, young people losing opportunities, foreign workers deported or poor people slipping further into poverty.
Leavers assume we'll gloat if it goes wrong. We won't. We'll mourn, because we always wanted Brexit to prove us wrong. But it hasn't. https://t.co/QdtzrxLg5Y — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) December 9, 2020
7.
"Our bus has now driven off a cliff. Please stop screaming as it may upset the driver and all those who denied the existence of gravity." Nah mate. 4+ years of "we won you lost get over it" rhetoric will be returned with interest. We've earned this. https://t.co/VS4GhUepPc — Dai Lama (@WelshDalaiLama) December 9, 2020
8.
Fuck basically everything about this headline. https://t.co/l5dRKxBp8o — 🏳🌈 Mary ChristMax 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) December 9, 2020
9.
The other boys must not laugh about me slipping on ice and hitting my arse so hard on the ground that I am sick and shit my pants. https://t.co/pCU8uF7jRH — THE GRINK VS THE PROCK (@NightmareModeGo) December 9, 2020
Journalist, Jonathan Lis, imagined a scenario in which Brexit had been a roaring success.
I get that Remainers are being told not to gloat, but my god, how would the Brexiters be behaving if they’d been vindicated? — Jonathan Lis (@jonlis1) December 9, 2020
A small price to pay.
READ MORE
The 14 funniest takes on Boris Johnson’s Brexit talks dinner with Ursula von der Leyen
Source Financial Times Image Jaime Casap on Unsplash, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-10--Larry and Paul’s ‘Real Daily Briefing’ hilariously captures the art of saying nothing in a sincere v

Larry and Paul’s ‘Real Daily Briefing’ hilariously captures the art of saying nothing in a sincere voice

Yet again , Larry and Paul have captured the essence of a Downing Street briefing , with a sketch that @ @ @ @ @ the real one , but – unlike most government updates – is absolutely unmissable .
@ @ @ @ @ had a tear duct error , but we haven ’ t – we ’ re @ @ @ @ @ ’ re tears of laughter or despair .
They shared the sketch to Twitter , @ @ @ @ @ few comments that show how much people enjoyed it .
You know how they say @ @ @ @ @ lining ?
Well , that ’ s what these briefings are .
This hilarious fake @ @ @ @ @ tugs on the heartstrings

Videos
Yet again, Larry and Paul have captured the essence of a Downing Street briefing, with a sketch that contains as few facts as the real one, but – unlike most government updates – is absolutely unmissable.
The briefing bot may have had a tear duct error, but we haven’t – we’re just not sure whether they’re tears of laughter or despair.
They shared the sketch to Twitter, too.
We picked a few comments that show how much people enjoyed it.
The English would vote for this guy if given the option. #RealDailyBreafing https://t.co/xXq6tLKUFN — ross greenshields (@rossgreenshiel1) December 9, 2020
You know how they say every cloud has a silver lining? Well, that’s what these briefings are.
Everything’s shit but at least @larryandpaul gov briefings have come out of it. 🤣 https://t.co/IVzw4y4ziH — CathyCentral (@CathyCentral) December 9, 2020
READ MORE
This hilarious fake appeal for struggling MPs really tugs on the heartstrings
Source Larry and Paul Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-12-10--The 14 funniest takes on Boris Johnson’s Brexit talks dinner with Ursula von der Leyen

In three weeks , the UK will cease operating under EU regulations as the Brexit transition period comes to a @ @ @ @ @ parties have failed to agree a deal .
On Wednesday evening , Boris Johnson attended @ @ @ @ @ of the EU Commission , Ursula von der Leyen , in an effort to iron @ @ @ @ @ are preventing a smooth way forward .
Or , as this very funny parody account @ @ @ @ @ an inauspicious start , with the PM clearly unaware of anti-coronavirus measures .
Any hopes @ @ @ @ @ in vain .
At the eventual conclusion …there was still no conclusion .
The EU @ @ @ @ @ lively ” , while the UK said it had been “ frank ” .
Twitter @ @ @ @ @ whole thing was also lively and frank .

News
In three weeks, the UK will cease operating under EU regulations as the Brexit transition period comes to a close, yet the two parties have failed to agree a deal.
On Wednesday evening, Boris Johnson attended a dinner with the president of the EU Commission, Ursula von der Leyen, in an effort to iron out the major differences that are preventing a smooth way forward.
On my way to Brussels to meet @EU_Commission President @vonderleyen. A good deal is still there to be done. But whether we agree trading arrangements resembling those of Australia or Canada, the United Kingdom will prosper mightily as an independent nation 🇬🇧 pic.twitter.com/6z1Tlr1ltI — Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson) December 9, 2020
Or, as this very funny parody account put it …
Off to Brussels to charm Ursula von der Leyen. Got my spare pants and toothbrush in the briefcase. Don't wait up… pic.twitter.com/vlZUqoWZEs — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) December 9, 2020
It was an inauspicious start, with the PM clearly unaware of anti-coronavirus measures.
WATCH: @BorisJohnson “do we keep our masks on Ursula?@VonDerLeyen “keep distance”@VonDerLeyen: "You have to put it (mask) back on…"@BorisJohnson: "Put it back on immediately? You run a tight ship here, Ursula, and quite right too” Imagine dinnerpic.twitter.com/HabClUt2kN — Darren McCaffrey (@DarrenEuronews) December 9, 2020
Any hopes of a swift conclusion were in vain.
Word from the dinner in Brussels…it’s still going on, we are now two and a half hours in — Chris Mason (@ChrisMasonBBC) December 9, 2020
Still arguing over who gets the fish course https://t.co/FdxG7Vlt46 pic.twitter.com/vZnbpTpaDr — James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 9, 2020
At the eventual conclusion …there was still no conclusion. The EU described the discussion as “lively”, while the UK said it had been “frank”.
Twitter’s reaction to the whole thing was also lively and frank.
1.
"Why is he eating urinal cakes, Ursula?"
"Must be a tradition he learnt at Eton" pic.twitter.com/aITsSxEg3Y — Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) December 9, 2020
2.
Brussels Brexit menu leaked pic.twitter.com/s8XNfJAdP2 — Otto English (@Otto_English) December 9, 2020
3.
"Excellent" said Ursula to other guests, "the Jester has arrived" pic.twitter.com/aVj1ZbeTbk — Laz, Lazarou Monkiest of Terrors 3.5%🏳🌈 (@FrancisMaudeAdv) December 9, 2020
4.
I hope Boris’s dinner tonight was chlorinated chicken served with veg that’s been stuck on a lorry for three days. — Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) December 9, 2020
5.
6.
“Last call for passengers boarding Unicorn Air, Flight 633 for Sunlit Uplands via 1957” pic.twitter.com/hmthgrVyWg — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) December 9, 2020
7.


thepoke--2020-12-10--People are mocking Gucci for selling these £470 upside-down sunglasses – 9 hilarious takedowns

Over to the fashion world where luxury brand Gucci has released some new accessories , amongst which is a very @ @ @ @ @ If you ’ re interested in purchasing a pair of your own , it ’ @ @ @ @ @ back – an eye-wateringly expensive £470 to be exact .
Like art , fashion is @ @ @ @ @ is art .
Either way , this piece of eyewear has inspired a strong reaction @ @ @ @ @ 9 you need : Americans have just discovered kettles and British people are once again @ @

Pics
Over to the fashion world where luxury brand Gucci has released some new accessories, amongst which is a very interesting pair of sunglasses.
Gucci why are we doing this pic.twitter.com/kfGPeNmyVL — porochista khakpour (@PKhakpour) December 9, 2020
If you’re interested in purchasing a pair of your own, it’s going to set you back – an eye-wateringly expensive £470 to be exact.
Like art, fashion is subjective. Or perhaps fashion is art. Either way, this piece of eyewear has inspired a strong reaction. Here are the only 9 you need:
1.
Gucci why are we doing this pic.twitter.com/kfGPeNmyVL — porochista khakpour (@PKhakpour) December 9, 2020
2.
#Gucci you will be hearing from my nephew’s legal team pic.twitter.com/pP6V8uwQKQ — Matt Sullivan (@ComebackComic) December 10, 2020
3.
4.
5.
being a fashion model sounds amazing until you realise it is your job to be humiliated pic.twitter.com/HyMFfE8ZV3 — joe (@mutablejoe) December 10, 2020
6.
Dennis Taylor inspiring Gucci pic.twitter.com/MfO8QqiVMP — Craig Wood (@craigfraserwood) December 10, 2020
7.
Thanks to your tweet I decided to join the trend with my vintage frames 🤣 pic.twitter.com/WoAWADUTQp — michelle (@spazluvsshoes) December 10, 2020
8.
Would go great with this shirt pic.twitter.com/13CzRAxDtl — Ozzie (@GopherTrace) December 9, 2020
9.
Excuse me, I've fallen off my bike. pic.twitter.com/tLfucDX6lB — trouteyes (@trouteyes) December 10, 2020
READ MORE
Americans have just discovered kettles and British people are once again in shock
Source: @PKhakpour / Gucci


thepoke--2020-12-10--9 hilarious additions people have snuck into their nativity scenes

With Christmas just around the corner , the chances are that you ’ ve already decorated your tree , put @ @ @ @ @ , for the more traditional out there , laid out your nativity scene .
Here @ @ @ @ @ done the same , although they should probably take a closer look at their decorations @ @ @ @ @ apparently a thing and people have mixed feelings

Pics
With Christmas just around the corner, the chances are that you’ve already decorated your tree, put up your tinsel, and, for the more traditional out there, laid out your nativity scene.
Here are nine people who have done the same, although they should probably take a closer look at their decorations.
1.
2.
3.
https://twitter.com/DoctorRhodes/status/1334114160339283973
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
I snuck a flamingo into my mom’s Nativity. She noticed it but has chosen to leave it there because, as she says, “The Bible doesn’t say there weren’t flamingoes at the birth of Jesus.” pic.twitter.com/k1nmIz0Zg4 — Morgan Pulitzer (@PulitSurprise) December 8, 2019
9.
READ MORE
Minimalist nativity sets are apparently a thing and people have mixed feelings


thepoke--2020-12-11--Boris Johnson has said that a no-deal Brexit is a ‘strong possibility’ – the only 9 reactions you ne

Boris Johnson has said that a no-deal Brexit is a ‘strong possibility’ – the only 9 reactions you need

After Boris Johnson ’ s failed talks in Brussels with the European Commission president Ursula von der Leyen , a @ @ @ @ @ at this point .
In an interview after the disastrous meeting , Johnson stated : @ @ @ @ @ a strong possibility , a strong possibility that we will have a solution that ’ @ @ @ @ @ Australian relationship with the EU than a Canadian relationship with the EU.
” Here are @ @ @ @ @ need : 11 scathing responses to the PM trying to spin his failure as an @ @ @ @

Twitter
After Boris Johnson’s failed talks in Brussels with the European Commission president Ursula von der Leyen, a no-deal Brexit seems pretty inevitable at this point.
In an interview after the disastrous meeting, Johnson stated: “There’s now a strong possibility, a strong possibility that we will have a solution that’s much more like an Australian relationship with the EU than a Canadian relationship with the EU.”
Brexit: Boris Johnson warns there is a 'strong possibility' of no trade deal with EU https://t.co/7mP3L1GVbo — Sky News (@SkyNews) December 10, 2020
Here are the only 9 reactions you need:
1.
I don’t even like insulin that much anyway https://t.co/mUme10riSw — Ed Gamble (@EdGambleComedy) December 10, 2020
2.
3.
Brexit is going so well that we have to work out who is to blame for it. Often if I have enjoyed a meal I will summon the chef by shouting “who is to blame for this fantastic dinner?” — Nish Kumar (@MrNishKumar) December 10, 2020
4.
So – do we still hold the cards or not? — Sue Perkins (@sueperkins) December 10, 2020
5.
Of course we should be fine with a No Deal Brexit. It’s what Leave campaigned for. It’s what 52% voted for. I remember the bus. pic.twitter.com/4OqbVuHQjL — David Schneider (@davidschneider) December 11, 2020
6.
Fucks sake, knew I should have put a quid on pic.twitter.com/iL6w7AXqhd — James Felton (@JimMFelton) December 10, 2020
7.
Oliver Dowden tells @SkyNews on the prospect of No Deal: "It will be choppy, but we can survive." I don't remember this on the side of a cocking bus. — Alex Andreou (@sturdyAlex) December 11, 2020
8.
It's like the end of Thelma and Louise but nobody is chasing us. #NoDeal pic.twitter.com/yh3cvTc2eA — Otto English (@Otto_English) December 11, 2020
9.
turns out that Brexit is remarkably complex — Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) December 11, 2020
READ MORE
11 scathing responses to the PM trying to spin his failure as an “Australian-style” deal
Source: @SkyNews


thepoke--2020-12-11--This home’s Christmas decorations nail 2020 like no other

They are not the most traditional Christmas decorations you ’ ll see on a home this year , but it @ @ @ @ @ no other .
It went viral over on Twitter because , well , watch .
@ @ @ @ @ the things people said about it .
January Jones had the best response to a @ @ @ @ @ ’ bikini photos

Videos
They are not the most traditional Christmas decorations you’ll see on a home this year, but it might just nail 2020 like no other.
It went viral over on Twitter because, well, watch.
Shut it all down. This house wins the 2020 holidays…pic.twitter.com/DTC3VzBpBQ — Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) December 10, 2020
And just a few of the things people said about it.
How we all feel about 2020^ — Eric Feigl-Ding (@DrEricDing) December 10, 2020
Santa needs to drink more water, but otherwise excellent — Dr. Fauci ᵖᵃʳᵒᵈʸ (@notdrfauci) December 10, 2020
READ MORE
January Jones had the best response to a tabloid over her ‘desperate’ bikini photos
Source @RexChapman @FirenzeMike