thepoke--2020-04-17--13 favourite things people said about this weird Matt Hancock photo

In some respects it ’ s just one more photo that captures the very weird times we ’ re living @ @ @ @ @ of health secretary Matt Hancock opening Birmingham ’ s NHS Nightingale Hospital , well , @ @ @ @ @ So we asked you for your captions and you didn ’ t disappoint .
Here @ @ @ @ @ us together with a whole bunch of others we spotted online .
“ Matt Hancock @ @ @ @ @ woman ” the only 5 funny reactions you need

Pics
There’s been no shortage of photos capturing the very weird times we’re living in right now.
Except this photo of health secretary Matt Hancock opening Birmingham’s NHS Nightingale Hospital, well, it was especially weird. So we asked you for your captions and you didn’t disappoint.
Here are the best you sent us together with a whole bunch of others we spotted online.
1.
But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother. pic.twitter.com/ktekoBzD1B — Sebastian Payne (@SebastianEPayne) April 16, 2020
2.
“Make everyone stand far apart”
“Of course”
“Put my head on a massive terrifying screen”
“Small would be more calming but still fine”
“Have hot water pipes pointing at every last one of their faces”
“I-“
“Label them” pic.twitter.com/ughCX4t4ei — James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 16, 2020
3.
“Your brave, compulsory sacrifice is for the good of all Oceania! RELEASED THE HOT WATER!!” pic.twitter.com/qDr0s6uLsk — Unnamed Insider (@Unnamedinsider) April 16, 2020
4.
5.
"Even social distancing couldn't stop the bi-weekly Ruislip Community College 'Over-50s Hot Yoga' session" — Oonagh (@Okeating) April 16, 2020
6.
Don't think much to the new Apple ad. https://t.co/TRG4k5pahb — Chris Addison (@mrchrisaddison) April 16, 2020
7.
"You can't have a pint! that's nearly an arm full!"
Hancock's half hour – 2020 pic.twitter.com/j4EP40fsoX — HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) April 16, 2020
8.
9.
Return to the Mothership and protect Hancock's egg chaaaaamberrrrrr Lay down surpressing fire Bzzt — trouteyes (@trouteyes) April 16, 2020
10.
GIVE HIM HIS OWL BACK SANDRA https://t.co/nCEnk1cAs6 — DG (@donna_gallers) April 16, 2020
11.
Slide to the right…criss cross, criss cross — JadeyF (@Jadeyf) April 16, 2020
12.
These Joe Wicks classes are going downhill. pic.twitter.com/qJVSMLQwOb — David Whitley (@mrdavidwhitley) April 16, 2020
13.
We are at war with Corona. We have always been at war with Corona. Dyson is our ally. — Name cannot be blank (@ChrisTheDJ) April 16, 2020
READ MORE
“Matt Hancock being totally normal with a woman” the only 5 funny reactions you need


thepoke--2020-04-17--Bob Mortimer’s new Train Guy video puts a whole new spin on Joe Wicks

We ’ ve been very happy to see that a quarantined Train Guy has worked every bit as well as @ @ @ @ @ , and that ’ s thanks to the talent of his creator , Bob Mortimer @ @ @ @ @ drop is no exception .
Having a “ virtual toe-to-toe with Joe Wicks ” is @ @ @ @ @ Train Guy .
The sketch was like manna from Heaven to quarantined tweeters .
Is @ @ @ @ @ Wicks a fitness chimp ?
Let ’ s place that in the thought fridge and @ @ @ @ @ Bob Mortimer and Matt Berry took Train Guy straight off the rails

Twitter
We’ve been very happy to see that a quarantined Train Guy has worked every bit as well as the free and easy version, and that’s thanks to the talent of his creator, Bob Mortimer.
The latest video to drop is no exception.
Having a “virtual toe-to-toe with Joe Wicks” is both topical and so very Train Guy.
The sketch was like manna from Heaven to quarantined tweeters.
"Geoff Linton shits live pigs." https://t.co/UtuHuVqUtN — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) April 16, 2020
Bob is shelling it down 💥 https://t.co/USaWV35XpH — Pete Fowler (@petefowlerart) April 16, 2020
Every second of this is genius. Where would we be without him? https://t.co/QODuv2kZsM — Simon Binns (@simonbinns) April 16, 2020
Is it okay to call Joe Wicks a fitness chimp?
Let’s place that in the thought fridge and snack on it later.
READ MORE
Bob Mortimer and Matt Berry took Train Guy straight off the rails
Source Bob Mortimer Image Bob Mortimer


thepoke--2020-04-17--15 of the best – or worst – lockdown baking disasters

Through a mixture of boredom and a desire for those non-essential treats that we ’ re apparently not supposed to @ @ @ @ @ been embracing baking as a new thing during the Covid lockdown .
For some reason @ @ @ @ @ banana bread pandemic , which seems like a waste of a good banana , especially @ @ @ @ @ isn ’ t the only person to have a bit of a baking disaster , @ @ @ @ @ .
11 .
These should have been cinnamon rolls .
RIP 13 .
The rainbow @ @ @ @ @ message to help people cope .
Not these ones , though .
Finally , even @ @ @ @ @ bake , you can still invent a fantastic new glue .
This cake version of @ @ @ @ @ will haunt your dreams

Pics
Through a mixture of boredom and a desire for those non-essential treats that we’re apparently not supposed to be buying, people have been embracing baking as a new thing during the Covid lockdown.
For some reason there’s been a banana bread pandemic, which seems like a waste of a good banana, especially if this happens.
Guess I can't join the banana bread club. #nailedit pic.twitter.com/0Q9W2IXnyv — Stephanie Sparkles (@SSparklesDaily) April 13, 2020
Stephanie isn’t the only person to have a bit of a baking disaster, because there are also these.
1.
Via
2.
This was supposed to be a nice, neat, braided circle of chocolate, caramel, and banana filled chocolate yeast bread, but the strands all burst and it ended up looking like a pan of Sasquatch feces. Tasted ok, though 😀 pic.twitter.com/gRv9PmyUjn — amanda hugandkiss nobody nearⓋ (@wendybyrdm) April 12, 2020
3.
Hello. You may win most-failed banana bread, but I am champion of most-failed normal bread. I give you this: pic.twitter.com/X6OLr9DAF8 — Kelly Hevel (@KellyHevel) April 12, 2020
4.
As failed as my bunnies? pic.twitter.com/I3U0XSGMBe — Ketan Joshi (@KetanJ0) April 12, 2020
5.
#StayAtHome & be productive. I’m not much of a baker. I can cook alright, but baking…not so much. So, today I tried my hand at some lighthouse cookies, since I’m from Florida. How do you think they turned out? pic.twitter.com/kKmB07XPmB — Justice Seeker is sheltering at home ☮ (@tizzywoman) March 28, 2020
6.
help my cookies are not social distancing pic.twitter.com/n8yVSdjSvJ — Yasmine Salam 🇱🇧 (@yasminesalam_) March 26, 2020
7.
Via
8. Expectation versus reality
Via
9.
10.
My wife has started baking. And now we know why she doesn’t normally bake cakes. pic.twitter.com/fK3hA37fas — Tommy (@NYCFirm) April 1, 2020
11. These should have been cinnamon rolls. RIP
Via
12.
Quarantine baking Take One. Half of the cookies are burnt, half are raw, and the fire alarm is going off. Lessons for the future.
1) My fire alarm works well
2) My neighbours are alert
3) My baking skills can only improve from here. Good thing I didn’t start with bread. pic.twitter.com/LU73Vp2u6f — Scott Searle (@scottsearle) March 30, 2020
13. The rainbow has become a special lockdown message to help people cope. Not these ones, though.
Via
14.
Tried out my 30 year old bread making machine today. Didn’t go well pic.twitter.com/TvRmLcEgPb — Cecily Tynan (@CecilyTynan) March 22, 2020
15.
I've attempted to be the next great baker and so far I have burned
-cake
-brownies
-conchas
-pizza
And I dont know whats next.#bakingfail
Todays attempt chocolate cake . pic.twitter.com/9M9atfSxjJ — Laura Sierra (@xicanalaura) April 14, 2020
Finally, even when you can’t bake, you can still invent a fantastic new glue.
Quarantine has reconfirmed what I already knew… Baking is NOT my strong suit 😂#bakingfail #QuarantineLife pic.twitter.com/874f5T77ae — Charli (@CharliEmAlO) April 16, 2020
READ MORE
This cake version of New Zealand’s PM will haunt your dreams
H/T twentytwowords.com Image @NYCFirm, @twinsfisch on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-04-17--It turns out that the love child of genius and boredom is an automatic hand sanitiser dispenser

This automatic hand sanitiser dispenser must have been born from the perfect balance of boredom and genius .
Now we @ @ @ @ @ roll shortage .
Totally worth it .
The stunt ’ s creator , Kaplamino , @ @ @ @ @ of chain reactions , was good enough to show us the fails , too .
@ @ @ @ @ crazily elaborate stunt but ended up making it even better

Videos
This automatic hand sanitiser dispenser must have been born from the perfect balance of boredom and genius.
Now we know what caused the toilet roll shortage. Totally worth it.
The stunt’s creator, Kaplamino, who specialises in these kinds of chain reactions, was good enough to show us the fails, too.
Frustrating, yet fascinating.
READ MORE
The cat nearly ruined this crazily elaborate stunt but ended up making it even better
Source Kaplamino Image Kaplamino


thepoke--2020-04-17--This is what happens when Banksy has to work from home

When the government said anyone who can work from home should do so , we presumed they meant office workers @ @ @ @ @ and even MPs , but we didn ’ t expect it to apply to Banksy @ @ @ @ @ generally works in secret on the street , posted these images to his Instagram account @ @ @ @ @ can only hope he warned his wife about the plan , and didn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ night in secret like he usually does .
Someone named dwendysaelmans had this to say @ @ @ @ @ this….it has just totally made me giggle for minutes and minutes…..feel sorry for your wife @ @ @ @ @ I love that little guy running on the toilet roll !
!
!
and the @ @ @ @ @ counting down… .
I think you should come to New Zealand !
” Maybe not @ @ @ @ @ eh ?
Banksy has opened a shop in Croydon and it ’ s as subversive @ @ @ @ @

Pics
When the government said anyone who can work from home should do so, we presumed they meant office workers, writers, most teachers and even MPs, but we didn’t expect it to apply to Banksy.
The artist, who generally works in secret on the street, posted these images to his Instagram account with the words:
“My wife hates it when I work from home.”
We can only hope he warned his wife about the plan, and didn’t just do it during the night in secret like he usually does.
Instagram users loved it.
So did Twitter.
Hilarious. The lockdown content we need!#Banksy: "My wife hates it when I work from home." pic.twitter.com/KXi2votCp6 — Mendacious Propaganda (@tprstly) April 16, 2020
Someone named dwendysaelmans had this to say.
“I absolutely love this….it has just totally made me giggle for minutes and minutes…..feel sorry for your wife!! but …. I love that little guy running on the toilet roll!!! and the little guy in the mirror counting down…. I think you should come to New Zealand!”
Maybe not at the moment though, eh?
READ MORE
Banksy has opened a shop in Croydon and it’s as subversive as you’d expect
Source Banksy H/T Guardian Image Banksy


thepoke--2020-04-17--Trump has asked wrestler Vince McMahon to help him reopen the economy – 5 lethal body slams

Wrestling mogul Vince McMahon has had quite the week – He declared XFL – his professional football league – bankrupt @ @ @ @ @ .
His company , World Wrestling Entertainment , has been declared an essential business and @ @ @ @ @ the US lockdown – although they ’ ll have a job maintaining social distancing .
@ @ @ @ @ $ 18 million to fund GOP advertising .
We truly are through the looking glass @ @ @ @ @ Vegas casino was a flop and a man whose American Football business has gone bankrupt @ @ @ @ @ planning to save the economy .
If nothing else , the press briefings should be @ @

News
Wrestling mogul Vince McMahon has had quite the week –
He declared XFL – his professional football league – bankrupt and laid off his workers.
His company, World Wrestling Entertainment, has been declared an essential business and is allowed to continue during the US lockdown – although they’ll have a job maintaining social distancing.
He and his wife pledged $18 million to fund GOP advertising.
And this happened:
Trump names Dana White, Vince McMahon, and others for advisory group to re-open economy: https://t.co/hBW57qhFoU pic.twitter.com/4hSlvF0AbB — Complex Sports (@ComplexSports) April 15, 2020
We truly are through the looking glass when a man whose Las Vegas casino was a flop and a man whose American Football business has gone bankrupt – in America – are planning to save the economy.
The news wasn’t well received.
1.
Of course he fucking does because nothing actually matters anymore. I look forward to seeing Rush Limbaugh heading up FEMA and Hong Kong Phooey taking the reigns at NASA. Jesus fucking Christ.https://t.co/MKDxu2IVpb — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) April 15, 2020
2.
Vince McMahon advising Donald Trump on restarting America's economy after a global pandemic is a scenario so stupid that I'm choosing to now believe I'm in a coma and my subconscious has been hijacked by a frankenstein created in a lab by Tom Green and Pauly Shore https://t.co/uJy0Uqpr3j — Lucy O'Brien (@Luceobrien) April 14, 2020
3.
does… does Donald Trump think body slamming the economy will re-open it https://t.co/qsIkjiO0f0 — Born Miserable (@bornmiserable) April 15, 2020
4.
Who needs comedy writers when this administration is a living parody https://t.co/ynWJC1fH3G — comefeeldablastnyc (@DGImedia_NYC) April 16, 2020
5.
If nothing else, the press briefings should be lively.
The Great Vince McMahon walking into the Trump task force meeting pic.twitter.com/qYvDAWELQq — Donny Huffnagle (@brick295) April 14, 2020
READ MORE
CNN’s chyron writer was brutally honest about Trump’s briefing meltdown
Image WWE screengrab


thepoke--2020-04-18--Just 19 nice things to try and make you smile

At this time we all need to try and stay smiling as much as possible , even if it feels @ @ @ @ @ much to feel happy about .
So here ’ s our weekly round-up of some @ @ @ @ @ week to try and make you smile .
16 nice things to bring a smile @ @ @

Twitter
At this time we all need to try and stay smiling as much as possible, even if it feels like there’s not much to feel happy about. So here’s our weekly round-up of some nice things we saw this week to try and make you smile.
Stay safe. Stay home.
1.
2.
It’s almost a year to the day since my friend brought home a kitten from a rescue centre, so she decided to recreate the first picture she took of him. pic.twitter.com/aX0IIC8cQa — Lydia Bleasdale (@Parkendlydia) April 10, 2020
3.
Look at those little starfish feet walking the starfish out of the scene. pic.twitter.com/tCxJKpFVwC — (@ziyatong) April 7, 2020
4.
this is my contribution to society pic.twitter.com/cR021nNuoj — mer (@meredithlmao) April 10, 2020
5.
Cat vs Dog challenge pic.twitter.com/bqLXCnJSv3 — BlackHalt (@BlackHalt) April 12, 2020
6.
Omfg. My friend got some giant fake teeth to lighten the quarantine mood…and then his dog Thomas stole them. pic.twitter.com/43JDgiMfm8 — The Slithy Tove (@TKDano) April 14, 2020
7.
Movie/TV quiz night…. can’t believe I convinced my husband @AlexGaumond to learn this… what else you gonna do in lockdown. Friends – The Routine pic.twitter.com/o1MA5bQhYJ — Jane McMurtrie (@janemcmurtrie) April 13, 2020
8.
This is funny and cute and has just given me a much needed laugh.
[sound up] pic.twitter.com/x7ZIYxelrk — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 13, 2020
9.
This dog is a Labrador / helicopter cross… pic.twitter.com/pdu4XVy3Xu — Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) April 14, 2020
10.


thepoke--2020-04-18--26 funny people who have been giving us laughs during the lockdown

We ’ re living in a dark and somewhat scary time at the moment so we need to try and @ @ @ @ @ and , more than ever , laugh in the face of adversity .
Here ’ @ @ @ @ @ of the funny people on Twitter , who have been making us laugh during this @ @ @

Exclusive
We’re living in a dark and somewhat scary time at the moment so we need to try and keep a sense of humour and, more than ever, laugh in the face of adversity.
Here’s our round-up of some of the funny people on Twitter, who have been making us laugh during this hard time.
1.
Tesco’s coronavirus advice seems a trifle brusque pic.twitter.com/N729zpqeyr — Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) March 14, 2020
2.
Irresponsible. If anything, they should be breaking them up. pic.twitter.com/axQU0tEEn0 — GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) April 9, 2020
3.
Loved this moment in the Queen’s speech. pic.twitter.com/ohlGDyfyDH — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 5, 2020
4.
My dog Ember and I have decided to start a thread of isolation duets. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you today’s offering – Tiffany’s I Think We’re Alone Now. pic.twitter.com/WJDl1iiAV2 — Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) March 26, 2020
5.
Crying in the toilet to feel like I’m on a night out — Laura (@fairycakes) April 3, 2020
6.
Me too, tin of tuna. Me too. pic.twitter.com/5UUtiopm99 — Jason (@NickMotown) April 1, 2020
7.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a thoughtful chicken. — Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) April 9, 2020
8.
so quiet in London, feel blessed to have seen the wildlife returning pic.twitter.com/qVZ84Q6sJJ — HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) March 28, 2020
9.
couples out running: I promise you your relationship is still valid if you run in single file — Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) April 12, 2020
10.
Huge fan of the ‘when I went out for my walk there were too many people out for their walk’ guys. — REMAIN INDOORS (@Scriblit) April 4, 2020
11.
Got a new 20 second song for you to sing while washing your hands… pic.twitter.com/mQwPIg5a0I — bechillcomedian (@bechillcomedian) March 19, 2020
12.
If anyone needs expert advice on how to survive further lockdown, may I introduce my 2 year old daughter who is currently having weetabix for dinner, on the sofa, in sunglasses and a summer dress while she only responds to us if we do a Donald Duck voice. pic.twitter.com/Ccr33MNL9Z — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) April 10, 2020
13.
WHY DON’T YOU ALL MARRY YOUR SOURDOUGH STARTERS? — Socially Distant Tits (@Scientits) March 28, 2020
14.
Holy shit. I’ve just realised that offices are now NSFW. — Captain Bison Trippshorn (@Brainmage) April 6, 2020
15.
“Why aren’t MPs getting 80% of their £80,000 salary” is the £64,000 question. — Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) April 9, 2020
16.
Just because we’re on lockdown doesn’t mean we can’t have a flippin good laugh on the best day of the year! (Or has that been banned now too??😉) 😂😂😂🤪🤪🤪 pic.twitter.com/BcD3nSjFfm — alistair green (@mralistairgreen) April 1, 2020
17.
Having all four of us in the house all day, every day is creating a lot of mess. So I’ve pulled my finger out & set my alarm for 5.30am so I can get up before everyone wakes, drink a bottle of wine in peace & pass out for the rest of the day thus reducing the mess made by 25%. — DG (@donna_gallers) April 8, 2020
18.
Shakespeare wrote King Lear while in quarantine. Newton invented calculus. I just sent an email that ended ‘Best regarbs’. — Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) March 18, 2020
19.
Me after lockdown pic.twitter.com/2PYFLH2u1w — Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) April 19, 2020
20.
You may say that this aubergine and tub of Vaseline aren’t essential items, but I beg to differ, officer. Good day to you. — Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) April 10, 2020
21.
Hey guys, we’re all loving 80s movies under lockdown so here are some iconic lines from your favourites! pic.twitter.com/YMei7Ip5S8 — Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) April 11, 2020
22.
23.
How the fuck is any woman over 40 supposed to know if she has a temperature? I’ve been too warm for 3 years ffs — Twinks (@tinytwink) March 18, 2020
24.
“So how was your day” -me to my boyfriend after spending every waking second with him — Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) April 16, 2020
25.


thepoke--2020-04-20--This joke was very well done and made even better by people not getting it

There ’ s been no shortage of live TV interviews being accidentally interrupted by a member of the family , @ @ @ @ @ memorable than most … And it ’ s fair to say it went viral , @ @ @ @ @ people weren ’ t happy about it at all and it made the whole thing @ @ @ @ @ .
Just in case anyone was wondering , this guy you might have heard of @ @ @ @ @ and he should know .
David Baddiel had the perfect one-line response to Katie Hopkins @ @ @ @ @ their excuse for comedy ’

Twitter
There’s been no shortage of live TV interviews being accidentally interrupted by a member of the family, but this one is more memorable than most …
Adorable moment man interrupted by his son on live TV pic.twitter.com/zmORymLbNh — Ivor Baddiel (@Ivorbaddiel) April 19, 2020
And it’s fair to say it went viral, madly viral.
I have watched this about 1000 times now and it just gets funnier and funnier — Sara Gibbs (@Sara_Rose_G) April 19, 2020
I don't normally post wholesome stuff but this was too cute not to share https://t.co/B6yFL38Xqx — Thomas ‘TomSka’ Ridgewell (@thetomska) April 19, 2020
This is probably the most heartwarming clip I've seen during lockdown. — Milk Media (@milkmedianewyor) April 19, 2020
But some people weren’t happy about it at all and it made the whole thing even better (probably).
I don’t actually think you should ever speak to your child like that. — Alison Greenwood (@greenwooda1) April 19, 2020
He has objections about his son coming on Live TV but no issues about using four letter word incessantly. Ironical. — Himanshu Verma (@hv2008) April 19, 2020
No, it’s abuse. Not funny at all, and anyone who thinks it is, needs to have a long hard look at their values. — Kim Spence-Jones #FBPE (@KimSJ) April 19, 2020
Stunning language from a dad. Would never talk to my kids like that. What a #twat — Fender Hoody (@Fenderhoody) April 19, 2020
Only on the Marxist BBC eh ? funny that isn't it . All staged of course by this most decadent of media. What we pay £157 for to listen to foul language from an avowed Lefty , they love all that . Notice they didn't 'can ' that like the other 99% of broadcast garbage.. — Nelson Churchill (@NelsonChurchil3) April 19, 2020
Just in case anyone was wondering, this guy you might have heard of was around to clarify, and he should know.
This has gone viral, in part because a lot of people seem to think it might be real. The giveaway for me, though, is it's my brother. https://t.co/GtzaZ60lf1 — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) April 20, 2020
And here’s the original …
READ MORE
David Baddiel had the perfect one-line response to Katie Hopkins slagging off ‘lefties and their excuse for comedy’
Source @Ivorbaddiel


thepoke--2020-04-20--Idris Elba said we should remember Covid-19 with a week-long quarantine every year – only 5 response

Idris Elba said we should remember Covid-19 with a week-long quarantine every year – only 5 responses you need

Just in case you haven ’ t got enough of a spring in your step right now , Idris Elba @ @ @ @ @ us all to look forward to when all this is over .
Doing it all @ @ @ @ @ ’ s fair to say not everyone agreed with him .
Actually , it ’ @ @ @ @ @ anyone who agreed with him .
Here are our favourite responses .
An alt-right guy @ @ @ @ @ as James Bond – 17 killer responses

Twitter
Just in case you haven’t got enough of a spring in your step right now, Idris Elba came up with something for us all to look forward to when all this is over.
Doing it all over again.
Coronavirus: Idris Elba says 'world should quarantine for a week every year to remember this time' https://t.co/HBeUGn79rN — SkyNews (@SkyNews) April 20, 2020
And it’s fair to say not everyone agreed with him. Actually, it’s fair to say not anyone who agreed with him. Here are our favourite responses.
1.
“The world should go to war for a week to remember ww2” — TheResistanceReview (@T_Rreview) April 20, 2020
2.
It would be great to be loaded wouldn't it? https://t.co/dFfhEaO4m1 — Allison Morris (@AllisonMorris1) April 20, 2020
3.
https://twitter.com/INDIEWASHERE/status/1252207863457550337?s=20
4.
Yes becuase we all have multi-million pound mansions around the world to retreat to and can all afford to take time off work. At every opportunity these elitist clowns show how out of touch they really are — Gemini (@KSingh84856557) April 20, 2020
5.
idris elba also thought doing the movie cats was a good idea so.. https://t.co/v3gjySbtwQ — zak (@zakareeee) April 20, 2020
To conclude …
I do like Idris, but he can get to fuck on this one. https://t.co/CtQ1FHeOc1 — . (@twlldun) April 20, 2020
And this.
This is pure "neighbourhood WhatsApp group" level weird. Demands nothing less than the coldest of "Thanks Idris, food for thought!!" responses. https://t.co/2YSyHDcNGL — Ben Machell (@ben_machell) April 20, 2020
Oh, go on then.
Idris
Idri
Idr
Id
Idiot — ℝ (@ArrghBee) April 20, 2020
One final thought.
Isn’t that called Christmas? — Grey (@JamesHenryGrey) April 20, 2020
READ MORE
An alt-right guy said this about Idris Elba as James Bond – 17 killer responses


thepoke--2020-04-20--Tony Blair’s smile went a bit wrong (or totally right) on TV and it’s a very funny moment

Finally , a reason to rewatch a Tony Blair interview on TV .
Don ’ t worry , not all @ @ @ @ @ few seconds , as highlighted by @ revpeterlaws over on Twitter .
Us too , @ @ @ @ @ been imagining “ How 2020 could get worse ” – 16 terrible possibilities

Videos
Finally, a reason to rewatch a Tony Blair interview on TV. Don’t worry, not all of it, just a few seconds, as highlighted by @revpeterlaws over on Twitter.
10/10 for comic timing.
Was his face opening into a portal for the Great Old Ones to return? — Luke Walker (@lukewalkerbooks) April 20, 2020
DAVID ICKE WAS RIGHT. https://t.co/FYFuIQOGFR — Paul Burley (@paulxsidekick) April 20, 2020
I’ve watched this a fair few times. On you go! https://t.co/FaNel0trXK — words (12 k) weeks (ad infinitum) (@SankofaMind) April 20, 2020
Us too, us too.
READ MORE
People have been imagining “How 2020 could get worse” – 16 terrible possibilities
Source @revpeterlaws


thepoke--2020-04-20--‘596 dead: see page 4’ – there’s something about this Sun front page that struck people as very odd

‘596 dead: see page 4’ – there’s something about this Sun front page that struck people as very odd indeed

To add to the pile of pictures that sums up the very weird times we live in comes today ’ @ @ @ @ @ And there was something about it that struck people as very odd indeed .
And @ @ @ @ @ said about it .
Although , as people pointed out , it wasn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ sort of thing .
Simply the most hilariously perfect song about the coronavirus lockdown

Pics
To add to the pile of pictures that sums up the very weird times we live in comes today’s Sun front page. And there was something about it that struck people as very odd indeed.
Tomorrow's front page: Pubs could stay closed until Christmas, as they'll be the 'last to open' https://t.co/vZ4aqWTe1F pic.twitter.com/giA9rMAhpL — The Sun (@TheSun) April 19, 2020
And here’s what people said about it.
“596 dead, see p4”. There’s a front page for future historians. https://t.co/JJYUhmMoMH — Owen Gibson (@owen_g) April 19, 2020
it actually reads like an offer. jaunty virus artwork too pic.twitter.com/KmCEzlLaAw — Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) April 20, 2020
Extra bonus points for the 2cm "Hottest April since 1659" — Miri Baker, Quarantine Queen (@MiriBaker) April 19, 2020
Although, as people pointed out, it wasn’t just the Sun doing this sort of thing.
"596 dead – see page 4" Who would ever have believed the suggestion (if told on, say, New Year's Day 2020) that we might come to see "596 dead" feature as an incidental news detail? The point
applies, to some extent, to most media outlets, not just this particular example. pic.twitter.com/r6S0XlFcPD — Sunder Katwala (@sundersays) April 19, 2020
The death of one is a tragedy, the death of millions is just a statistic. — Phil (@Null_Inflikted) April 19, 2020
READ MORE
Simply the most hilariously perfect song about the coronavirus lockdown
Source @owen_g


thepoke--2020-04-20--A Tory peer was unhappy that people are questioning the Covid-19 response – our 6 favourite takedown

A Tory peer was unhappy that people are questioning the Covid-19 response – our 6 favourite takedowns

There ’ s been a lot of criticism of the way the UK government has handled the developing coronavirus crisis @ @ @ @ @ , such as the Sunday Times .
Former Conservative MP , now a member of @ @ @ @ @ Gavin Barwell , wasn ’ t at all happy .
Writer , Dawn Foster , @ @ @ @ @ ’ s track record , which shone a light on why he might not like @ @ @ @ @ t buying his line , and it was flooded with scathing reactions .
These were @ @ @ @ @ Paul Bassett Davies had this summary of much of the pro-Johnson clamour , such as @ @ @ @ @ Sunday Times gave a crushing report on the government ’ s Covid-19 response – 5 @ @

Twitter
There’s been a lot of criticism of the way the UK government has handled the developing coronavirus crisis, some from unlikely quarters, such as the Sunday Times.
Former Conservative MP, now a member of the House of Lords, Gavin Barwell, wasn’t at all happy.
I despair at my timeline this morning. We are a few weeks in to a crisis that has months – possibly years – to run and people are already trying to conduct the inquiry that will come afterwards. Is it too much to ask that we focus on what to do now rather than who to blame? — Gavin Barwell (@GavinBarwell) April 19, 2020
Writer, Dawn Foster, caught people up on Barwell’s track record, which shone a light on why he might not like scrutiny.
The former minister for housing then Downing St chief of staff during Grenfell has some opinions about when you should be allowed to criticise a government during a crisis https://t.co/iwXYFqnWJJ — Dawn Foster (@DawnHFoster) April 19, 2020
Twitter wasn’t buying his line, and it was flooded with scathing reactions. These were our favourite takedowns.
1.
"We've only hit ourselves in the face with a hammer a few times & people are already complaining it hurts. We need to keep hitting ourselves in the face with a hammer rather than focussing on whose idea it was to hit ourselves in the face with a hammer." https://t.co/3lM4K4CiOp — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) April 19, 2020
2.
It is deeply wrong for crew members to criticise the captain’s decision to keep the ship on course to hit the iceberg. Their concerns should be aired in the appropriate forum, which is a public inquiry, to be held an appropriate time after the ship sinks. https://t.co/ymDOp5mINO — James Ball (@jamesrbuk) April 19, 2020
3.
My brakes failed and my car crashed, but this is not the time for an investigation, let's just get back in and rev it back up to 100mph — James Doleman (@jamesdoleman) April 19, 2020
4.
Is it too much to ask that we have a PM who: Attends meetings?
Works weekends?
Protects the citizens of the country?
Skips free holidays during pandemics? If the answer to ANY of those questions is yes, we have an issue. If the answer to ALL of them is yes, we’re screwed — Jim Cognito (@JimCognito2016) April 19, 2020
5.
Sort of like saying Government should have waited till after we lost the Second World War before removing Chamberlain… https://t.co/rcxwEvxiEJ — Willshome 💚 Corbyn in my❤ (@willshome) April 19, 2020
6.
ahh no mate, that sounds really tough! hope you're ok! mind you, you're probably feeling less despair than those who've lost loved ones because the government wasted 5 weeks twatting around when it could, and should, have been properly prepping the country for the incoming crisis https://t.co/FOzPAMpuVC — Ben Smoke (@bencsmoke) April 19, 2020
Author Paul Bassett Davies had this summary of much of the pro-Johnson clamour, such as Barwell’s.
Please don’t try to politicise this political situation that’s being mismanaged by politicians. — paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) April 12, 2020
READ MORE
The Sunday Times gave a crushing report on the government’s Covid-19 response – 5 unsurprised reactions
Source Gavin Barwell Image Guardian video


thepoke--2020-04-20--Gregg Wallace is doing a lockdown fitness thing but ‘working out’ isn’t what springs to mind from th

Gregg Wallace is doing a lockdown fitness thing but ‘working out’ isn’t what springs to mind from these pictures

Masterchef bloke Gregg Wallace has launched a fitness regime to help people stay in shape during the coronavirus lockdown .
@ @ @ @ @ these pictures – his pose and particularly his expression – that made people think of @ @ @ @ @ .
And then @ IAmHappyToast did this and it got even better .
‘ Quick @ @ @ @ @ party and home exercise video market all at once , Greg Wallace launches Mastersex : @ @ @ @ @ @ IAmHappyToast .
‘ A daytime kamasutra for god knows who.
’ Make your day @ @ @ @ @ here and @ IAmHappyToast here .
Gregg Wallace says the same thing every time his @ @ @ @ @ Instagram and it ’ s glorious

Pics
Masterchef bloke Gregg Wallace has launched a fitness regime to help people stay in shape during the coronavirus lockdown.
But there was something about these pictures – his pose and particularly his expression – that made people think of something other than working out.
‘Greg Wallace, aggressively pushing out farts in various poses, whilst maintaining eye contact,’ said @BeardedGenius over on Twitter.
‘Ooof’
‘Ahhh’
‘Eeeeee’
‘Paaarp’
And then @IAmHappyToast did this and it got even better.
‘Quick to corner the Zoom sex party and home exercise video market all at once, Greg Wallace launches Mastersex: The Professionals,’ said @IAmHappyToast. ‘A daytime kamasutra for god knows who.’
Uncanny.
Make your day better by following @BeardedGenius here and @IAmHappyToast here.
READ MORE
Gregg Wallace says the same thing every time his wife posts a picture on Instagram and it’s glorious
Source @IAmHappyToast @BeardedGenius


thepoke--2020-04-20--14 funny posts about dealing with the coronavirus crisis

Covid-19 is terrible , and anybody trying to play it down is an idiot , but it ’ s important @ @ @ @ @ to take every opportunity to give your mood a boost .
What better way than @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
Covid-19 is terrible, and anybody trying to play it down is an idiot, but it’s important during these incredibly stressful times to take every opportunity to give your mood a boost.
What better way than by having a laugh?
1.
– i’ll pick you up after school. be safe.
– what time does it open mummy?
– not sure. they’re saying maybe september… pic.twitter.com/r8IX51i0zz — forest fr1ends (@forest_fr1ends) April 19, 2020
2.
Recycling in 2019: I’m not an alcoholic haha I just had a party Recycling in 2020: omg I swear I didn’t have a party I’m just an alcoholic — Mary Helen Moore (@maryhelenmoore) April 16, 2020
3.
me cooking pasta for one during quarantine: pic.twitter.com/EgDO81hOMT — b.b (@benoobrown) April 18, 2020
4.
Bet those women who claimed they didn't want no scrubs are feeling pretttttty silly now — Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) April 19, 2020
5.
I am at a point now where I would happily stay in lockdown for way longer than necessary just to spite the screaming End The UK Lockdown babies who are shitting themselves over not being allowed to have barbecues on Snowdon or cough germs over the elderly in Wetherspoons — Red Sky At Night (@redskyatnight) April 19, 2020
6.
7.
Ma’am this is an ice cream shop. pic.twitter.com/0aGzz8nM5W — Laurie (@TheStuffOfMemes) April 18, 2020
8.


thepoke--2020-04-20--People have been imagining “How 2020 could get worse” – 16 terrible possibilities

With coronavirus , political chaos and potential food shortages due to a locked-down workforce , you ’ d think 2020 @ @ @ @ @ worse .
Twitter decided to test that theory with this fate-tempting speculation , using the @ @ @ @ @ were the absolute worst .

Twitter
With coronavirus, political chaos and potential food shortages due to a locked-down workforce, you’d think 2020 couldn’t get any worse.
Twitter decided to test that theory with this fate-tempting speculation, using the hashtag #How2020CouldGetWorse.
These were the absolute worst.
1.
#How2020CouldGetWorse aliens show up with a cure for covid-19 and the governments of the world start a galactic war with them.. pic.twitter.com/rCxqAE3Ykm — Sara (@sara85_88) April 14, 2020
2.
The existential bleakness that is the 1984 Dune colouring book. #How2020CouldGetWorse pic.twitter.com/Q6tpJFeSPt — Pulp Librarian (@PulpLibrarian) April 14, 2020
3.
#How2020CouldGetWorse the May flowers that follow the April showers pic.twitter.com/IyIfHjpS8X — 🍁Fletchy McFletchyface☘ (@Darth_Pingu) April 14, 2020
4.
#How2020CouldGetWorse If I looked out my window and saw this I wouldn't be surprised pic.twitter.com/wYwhyHe5kH — captaintaco2345 (@captaintaco2345) April 14, 2020
5.
6.
#How2020CouldGetWorse
december 2020: final boss health bar appears in the sky pic.twitter.com/W7DPPnHYiD — 🥰SiStEr ShOoK (@SisterNicholas) April 14, 2020
7.
January: Australia on Fire
February: World War 3
March: Wolrdwide Pandemic
April: Chernobyl Fires reach Nuclear Plant
May: #How2020CouldGetWorse pic.twitter.com/SjHAWXFwg9 — Celeste St.Clair (@CelesteSt_Clair) April 14, 2020
8.
9.


thepoke--2020-04-20--Simply the most hilariously perfect song about the coronavirus lockdown

With people in lockdown across many parts of the world , schooling is looking very different .
Teachers are offering @ @ @ @ @ doing what they can not to give their kids an abiding hatred of Maths and @ @ @ @ @ music teacher , @ makeshift.macaroni on TikTok , found it easiest to put the transition @ @ @ @ @ .
Quite a few people spotted her magnum opus and shared it on Twitter , @ @ @ @ @ in .
The best thing about this is that we all instinctively know the words @ @ @ @ @ Matt Lucas ’ song about a baked potato is the best PSA you ’ ll @ @

Videos
With people in lockdown across many parts of the world, schooling is looking very different. Teachers are offering lessons online and parents are doing what they can not to give their kids an abiding hatred of Maths and themselves an aneurysm.
One music teacher, @makeshift.macaroni on TikTok, found it easiest to put the transition to lockdown into a song.
Quite a few people spotted her magnum opus and shared it on Twitter, where the plaudits just rolled in.
Sometimes you hear a song so perfect that you just have to share with the world 🎸https://t.co/29sEQJZ0da pic.twitter.com/9XLG4UU9ah — Mark Ruffalo (@MarkRuffalo) April 16, 2020
This is the best song on the internet. pic.twitter.com/VzGzJAtvDx — Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) April 20, 2020
One of the most beautifully authentic things I’ve ever heard. pic.twitter.com/VZhNeGvb6w — Trey Callaway (@TreyCallaway) April 17, 2020
This made me laugh SO SO hard. Man, I needed that. https://t.co/VObvYlHal2 — kottke.org (@kottke) April 17, 2020
The best thing about this is that we all instinctively know the words.
All together now …
from Angry GIFs via Gfycat
READ MORE
Matt Lucas’ song about a baked potato is the best PSA you’ll see today
Source @makeshift.macaroni Image @makeshift.macaroni


thepoke--2020-04-20--A squirrel in a bathroom led to the “best horror film ever made”

This TikTok video is either a very clever fake or an object lesson in taking people more seriously when they @ @ @ @ @ kitchen worktop , yelling about what they ’ ve seen in the bathroom .
It @ @ @ @ @ , where it has so far been viewed more than 300,000 times in little more @ @ @ @ @ ( probably ) real-life jumpscare had tweeters screaming – either with fright or laughter .
@ @ @ @ @ of this classic Monty Python scene .
Whether you have a stick or not …run @ @ @ @ @ fed up of the squirrels stealing all the bird food so she greased the feeder @ @

Videos
This TikTok video is either a very clever fake or an object lesson in taking people more seriously when they’re standing on a kitchen worktop, yelling about what they’ve seen in the bathroom.
It made its way to Twitter, where it has so far been viewed more than 300,000 times in little more than a day.
Best horror film ever madepic.twitter.com/26NJxYg5Qf — S&H illustrated reports / David Ziggy Greene (@SaHreports) April 18, 2020
The (probably) real-life jumpscare had tweeters screaming – either with fright or laughter.
Classic horror movie trope: the "hysterical" wife is ALWAYS RIGHT. — 🧙♀Sarah Amis 🍄 (@sianamis) April 19, 2020
the greatest scream in the history of motion pictures. https://t.co/tsrW24sccP — Dean Lines (@deanlines) April 18, 2020
It very much reminded us of this classic Monty Python scene.
Whether you have a stick or not …run away!
READ MORE
“Mum was fed up of the squirrels stealing all the bird food so she greased the feeder!”
Source @uncorked Image @uncorked


thepoke--2020-04-20--The Sunday Times gave a crushing report on the government’s Covid-19 response – 5 unsurprised reacti

The Sunday Times gave a crushing report on the government’s Covid-19 response – 5 unsurprised reactions

The Sunday Times , usually a pro-Conservative government paper , shocked everyone with a very damning report on the official @ @ @ @ @ .
It outlined missed opportunities and was particularly scathing about the Prime Minister ’ s @ @ @ @ @ Jones shared a thread of the key points , arguing that the investigation was too @ @ @ @ @ those without a subscription .
This split the internet , with some people on the @ @ @ @ @ Others less so .
Paywall issue aside , although various Conservatives with a small and @ @ @ @ @ the government , these reactions to the article ’ s contents were typical of the @ @ @ @ @ asked for PPE and the government gave them a badge – 9 scathing responses

News
The Sunday Times, usually a pro-Conservative government paper, shocked everyone with a very damning report on the official response to the coronavirus crisis.
Boris Johnson skipped five Cobra meetings on the virus, calls to order protective gear were ignored and scientists’ warnings fell on deaf ears Failings in February may have cost thousands of liveshttps://t.co/90fMvq20O5 — The Sunday Times (@thesundaytimes) April 18, 2020
It outlined missed opportunities and was particularly scathing about the Prime Minister’s level of engagement.
I dont think I've ever read a more damning account of government failure than that Sunday Times article. — Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) April 18, 2020
Owen Jones shared a thread of the key points, arguing that the investigation was too important to remain hidden to those without a subscription.
This split the internet, with some people on the side of the paywall.
Note to people sharing the Sunday Times article by cutting and pasting snippets: you are not helping. Newspapers are dying right now. If you want to support journalism, link to the newspaper itself. People get 2 free articles a week from the Times when they sign up — Hadley Freeman (@HadleyFreeman) April 19, 2020
Just been to the newsagent and can’t believe the Mars Bars are behind a paywall. — Richard Osman (@richardosman) April 19, 2020
Others less so.
Pretty certain that sharing one (1) article from behind a paywall that you believe to be highly important for the public good isn’t going to bring down the entirety of the free press but I sure am glad we’ve diverted the conversation in this way! — Hannah Williams (@hkatewilliams) April 19, 2020
None of my content will ever sit behind a paywall. The people have to know. pic.twitter.com/UCYxconxMw — Michael Fry (@BigDirtyFry) April 19, 2020
Paywall issue aside, although various Conservatives with a small and large ‘c’ defended the government, these reactions to the article’s contents were typical of the wider feeling.
1.
This report from the Sunday Times reads like the obituary of Boris Johnson's government. An absolutely extraordinary catalogue of complacency, error and long weekend holidays even as departments were sounding the alarm. https://t.co/AYWlIDDiBQ — Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) April 18, 2020
2.
Boris Johnson reacting to warnings from around the world pic.twitter.com/hM7vbHytuy — James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 19, 2020
3.
BREAKING: Boris calls emergency meeting to discuss Sunday Times allegations. UPDATE: He has skipped it. — Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) April 19, 2020
4.
I'm very grateful to Michael Gove for so comprehensively dismissing what The Sunday Times about my catastrophic failings.
Rebuttals don't get more emphatic or unequivocal than saying that some claims were "slightly off beam". #BorisOut #BorisResign#Ridge #marr — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) April 19, 2020
5.
Well I for one am astonished that letting a clown run the circus meant the lions got loose. https://t.co/8PfK60WDCA — barney farmer (@barneyfarmer) April 18, 2020
Damon Evans had this conclusion.
To be honest, if you need a Sunday Times article to tell you Boris Johnson is a tosser, you haven’t been paying attention. — Damon Evans (@damocrat) April 19, 2020
READ MORE
Care workers asked for PPE and the government gave them a badge – 9 scathing responses
Source Sunday Times Image Telegraph screengrab


thepoke--2020-04-19--This spoof video interview interruption was NSFW but incredibly funny

With so many people conducting live interviews from home , it ’ s no surprise that some participants find their @ @ @ @ @ in on the act .
Author , Ivor Baddiel , created his own spoof of @ @ @ @ @ was a lot less safe for work than any we ’ ve seen before .
@ @ @ @ @ onto that of BBC ’ s Reeta Chakrabarti that some people believed it was real @ @ @ @ @ ’ t .
Most people , however , knew it was a spoof and simply @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s never a bad time to be reminded of the greatest genuine interview @ @ @ @ @ here ’ s Robert Kelly at the moment his children became internet icons .

Videos
With so many people conducting live interviews from home, it’s no surprise that some participants find their children or pets accidentally getting in on the act.
Author, Ivor Baddiel, created his own spoof of the phenomenon – and it was a lot less safe for work than any we’ve seen before.
Adorable moment man interrupted by his son on live TV pic.twitter.com/zmORymLbNh — Ivor Baddiel (@Ivorbaddiel) April 19, 2020
He stitched his own footage onto that of BBC’s Reeta Chakrabarti that some people believed it was real.
Only on the Marxist BBC eh ? funny that isn't it . All staged of course by this most decadent of media. What we pay £157 for to listen to foul language from an avowed Lefty , they love all that . Notice they didn't 'can ' that like the other 99% of broadcast garbage.. — Nelson Churchill (@NelsonChurchil3) April 19, 2020
Is that a nice way to talk to one's child? — Chrissie Grech (v) 🐟🌱 🇪🇺 (@ChrissieGrech) April 19, 2020
He has objections about his son coming on Live TV but no issues about using four letter word incessantly. Ironical. — Himanshu Verma (@hv2008) April 19, 2020
Which it obviously wasn’t.
For anyone in doubt, this ain’t real… https://t.co/fPqDguPyoZ — Reeta Chakrabarti (@reetacbbc) April 19, 2020
Most people, however, knew it was a spoof and simply appreciated the humour.
This made me laugh my ass off… https://t.co/lcL8Mf3YJT — Eric McCormack (@EricMcCormack) April 19, 2020
This is brilliant 😂😂 https://t.co/qmRjaGZLAW — Captain Haggerty (@AngelaHaggerty) April 19, 2020
"Work from home" – hardcore version 😉 https://t.co/fOo02HniaG — Marcin Wątrobiński (@mar_watrobinski) April 19, 2020
Because it’s never a bad time to be reminded of the greatest genuine interview interruption of all time, here’s Robert Kelly at the moment his children became internet icons.
READ MORE
That BBC News interview interrupted: the sequel!
Source Ivor Baddiel Image Ivor Baddiel


thepoke--2020-04-20--Museums had a ‘creepiest object’ showdown on Twitter and it’s a chilling delight

It ’ s always a treat when museums try to outdo each other on Twitter and this one – a @ @ @ @ @ ‘ creepiest object ’ – is no exception .
It all started when the Yorkshire @ @ @ @ @ here ’ s what happened next , some truly creepy delights .

Pics
It’s always a treat when museums try to outdo each other on Twitter and this one – a Twitter battle to find their ‘creepiest object’ – is no exception.
It all started when the Yorkshire Museum tweeted this.
MUSEUMS ASSEMBLE! It’s time for #CURATORBATTLE! 💥 Today’s theme, chosen by you, is #CreepiestObject! We’re kicking things off with this 3rd/4th century hair bun from the burial of a #Roman lady, still with the jet pins in place… CAN YOU BEAT IT? 💥 pic.twitter.com/ntPiXDuM6v — Yorkshire Museum (@YorkshireMuseum) April 17, 2020
And here’s what happened next, some truly creepy delights.
1.
2.
STEP ASIDE ALL. These are hand-made models of figures playing cards and of gold miners hauling gold nuggets to the surface. BUT the figures are made from crab’s legs and claws… Typical Victorians, they loved weird/creepy stuff. #CreepiestObject pic.twitter.com/A5NHiPGnVh — York Castle Museum (@YorkCastle) April 17, 2020
3.
We’ve got A LOT of creepy object contenders for today’s #CURATORBATTLE but after some debate (Creepy dolls/ hair dug up from a grave/ a little man in a glass jar….!) we’re going with some pretty grim TV props from Casualty! https://t.co/7j3q2ipW7d #CreepiestObject pic.twitter.com/NR1aHOY9gS — Blaise Museum (@BlaiseMuseum) April 17, 2020
4.
Thanks for thinking of us @HottyCouture and wow, will we be having nightmares tonight with all these #CreepiestObject|s ! Here is the one we just can’t hide from you, one of our many creepy gems – our Plague Mask (1650/1750)! #curatorbattle pic.twitter.com/JrMjqAJSIM — Deutsches Historisches Museum (@DHMBerlin) April 17, 2020
5.
@RedHeadedAli how can we ignore such a call to arms? This particular item has caused a few nightmares for our followers this week. Our #CreepiestObject is…this pincushion! Complete with tiny children’s heads. You’re welcome, Twitter.#CURATORBATTLE pic.twitter.com/0YdmCE5dYD — Norwich Castle (@NorwichCastle) April 17, 2020
6.
Just had a thought. Not our object but we did once borrow a silver snuffbox from @MuseumsUniStA that is said to contain the pubic hair of one of George IV’s mistresses. Yes that’s right a pubic hair snuffbox.#CURATORBATTLE #creepiestobject pic.twitter.com/ePGY8eJ22R — Fairfax House (@fairfax_house) April 17, 2020
7.
Does “something in a jar” strike your fancy? #CreepiestObject pic.twitter.com/grVWP5hRLw — Nova Scotia Museum (@NS_Museum) April 17, 2020
8.
Sheep’s heart stuck with pins and nails and strung on a loop of cord. Made in South Devon, circa 1911, “for breaking evil spells”, @Pitt_Rivers collections #CreepiestObject #CuratorBattle pic.twitter.com/z5vdCFCU4S — Dan Hicks (@profdanhicks) April 17, 2020
9.
Nice. We have a pigeon heart stuck with pins for punishing a witch…#CreepiestObject #CuratorBattle pic.twitter.com/CUOdNlB3eN — SMT Collections Team (@SMT_Collections) April 17, 2020
10.
GUYS we know we have already won. This severed lower leg by Kerry Jameson has sprouted its own legs and a rather beastly head. @COCAYork #RethinkCeramics pic.twitter.com/Ip84aNacUX — York Art Gallery (@YorkArtGallery) April 17, 2020
11.
Live from the Toy Museum of Penshurst Place, we present the Drinking Bear. Feed it a 2 pence piece and it’ll pretend to drink from its cup as it stares into your soul. #CuratorBattle #CreepiestObject pic.twitter.com/ohNl2974UJ — Penshurst Place (@PenshurstPlace) April 17, 2020
12.
We are not a museum, but we have so many creepy things in SOCH (a database for Swedish digital cultural heritage). One of my favourites: This cute little kitty cat (Speldosa, katt med harpa, 1906. Kulturen, CC BY-NC-ND). https://t.co/bSdazHIVX2 pic.twitter.com/ZDb2j9ug4v — Larissa Borck (@Larissa_Borck) April 17, 2020
13.


thepoke--2020-04-20--This guy didn’t turn off his webcam properly and it’s a very funny watch

A salutary lesson here for anyone doing a Zoom meeting or similar to make sure they double check they ’ @ @ @ @ @ properly .
Because if they don ’ t , well , this might happen .
@ @ @ @ @ , as some people suggested , he knew a little bit more than he was @ @ @ @ @ the laughter and joy was just fun to see .
It doesn ’ t bother @ @ @ @ @ been staged , the reactions seemed genuine and some days you need a good laugh.
@ @ @ @ @ accidentally filmed her naked husband on live TV

Videos
A salutary lesson here for anyone doing a Zoom meeting or similar to make sure they double check they’ve turned off the camera properly.
Because if they don’t, well, this might happen.
When your co-worker forgets they’re on camera… pic.twitter.com/rrdiSkVp89 — 98.7 The Bull (@987thebull) March 25, 2020
Very funny.
‘Why did he run away instead of hanging up the call? 😂😂😂.’ ali439 ‘His fight or flight kicked in.’ TacoSpacePirate
And still funny even if, as some people suggested, he knew a little bit more than he was letting on.
‘Yeah the laughter and joy was just fun to see. It doesn’t bother me that it may have been staged, the reactions seemed genuine and some days you need a good laugh.’ muchvalidation
READ MORE
A reporter just accidentally filmed her naked husband on live TV
H/T Reddit u/daxene Source Twitter @987thebull


thepoke--2020-04-20--A reporter just accidentally filmed her naked husband on live TV

One consequence of people working from home because of Covid-19 is a lot of TV reporters are having to broadcast @ @ @ @ @ similar .
And here ’ s a salutary lesson for all those reporters to make @ @ @ @ @ careful where they ’ re doing it from .
Because this can happen .
The @ @ @ @ @ a reporter for Californian TV channel KCRA3 and the man , clearly visible in the @ @ @ @ @ ( at least , that ’ s what everyone is assuming ) .
Lots of @ @ @ @ @ was standing so still , presumably because he didn ’ t want to attract ( @ @ @ @ @ himself .
And here are just some of the things people were saying after it @ @ @ @ @ ‘ interrupted TV interview ’ was made even better by people not getting it

Videos
One consequence of people working from home because of Covid-19 is a lot of TV reporters are having to broadcast from their front room or similar.
And here’s a salutary lesson for all those reporters to make sure they’re extra careful where they’re doing it from. Because this can happen.
Let me know when you see it pic.twitter.com/GocQ5oiMZa — RealJesusChrysler (@ChryslerReal) April 19, 2020
The woman is Melinda Meza, a reporter for Californian TV channel KCRA3 and the man, clearly visible in the mirror, is her husband (at least, that’s what everyone is assuming).
Here’s the clip.
LMFAO IT WAS THE REPORTER pic.twitter.com/uKLcchdwH2 — #Doomberg ⌬ (@delmoi) April 19, 2020
Lots of people were wondering why he was standing so still, presumably because he didn’t want to attract (any more) attention to himself.
And here are just some of the things people were saying after it went wildly viral.
Oh dear. Someone is gonna he embarrassed at work. — Regina Marston for Congress CA 42 (@Marston4ca42) April 19, 2020
I dont think he should be anything but proud! — Autumn Yatabe (@SciRocker) April 19, 2020
Omg please let that not be her husband — Lookfat Pushup Guy (@Motownradical) April 19, 2020
Best boy. Key grip. — Dr. Waitman Beorn's Fight Goes On 🇺🇸🇬🇧👊 (@waitmanb) April 19, 2020
Boom!
READ MORE
This ‘interrupted TV interview’ was made even better by people not getting it
H/T Indy100


thepoke--2020-04-20--This ‘interrupted TV interview’ was made even better by people not getting it


thepoke--2020-04-20--Idris Elba said we should remember Covid-19 with a week-long lockdown every year – only 5 responses

Idris Elba said we should remember Covid-19 with a week-long lockdown every year – only 5 responses you need

Just in case you haven ’ t got enough of a spring in your step right now , Idris Elba @ @ @ @ @ us all to look forward to when all this is over .
Doing it all @ @ @ @ @ ’ s fair to say not everyone agreed with him .
Actually , it ’ @ @ @ @ @ anyone who agreed with him .
Here are our favourite responses .
Oh , go @ @ @ @ @ guy said this about Idris Elba as James Bond – 17 killer responses


thepoke--2020-04-18--50 funny people who have been giving us laughs during the lockdown

We ’ re living in a dark and somewhat scary time at the moment so we need to try and @ @ @ @ @ and , more than ever , laugh in the face of adversity .
Here ’ @ @ @ @ @ of the funny people on Twitter , who have been making us laugh during this @ @ @


thepoke--2020-04-21--This thread of David Bowie as ice lollies is just the thing we needed today

Our thanks to @ Pandamoanimum for this not entirely expected ( totally unexpected ) treat of David Bowie as ice @ @ @ @ @ just the sort of thing we needed today .
And then other people joined in @

Pics
Our thanks to @Pandamoanimum for this not entirely expected (totally unexpected) treat of David Bowie as ice lollies and it’s just the sort of thing we needed today.
Just when you can’t get any better or more inventive …
1.
David Bowie as ice lollies. A thread. pic.twitter.com/sILfbMzhWA — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 20, 2020
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
And then other people joined in although, to be strictly accurate, Vienetta ain’t no lolly.
Excellent. Mind if I have a go ? pic.twitter.com/dwxlxgRw3M — Innes Blight (@InnesBlight) April 20, 2020
Thought I'd cover the lolly pop stick as well! 😉 pic.twitter.com/DsW15A2mWR — Marcia L. Moran 🏉 (@MarciaMcGuinne3) April 21, 2020
Bravo!
This is ‘FAB’ , see what I’ve done there ! 😉 — Gavin Mitchell (@GavsterNo1) April 20, 2020
He looks completely different in every single photo, and yet is just so unmistakably Bowie.
A perfect thread, thank you. — Stu. (@dysondoc) April 21, 2020
READ MORE
‘David Bowie as League One football teams’
Source @Pandamoanimum


thepoke--2020-04-21--People love how this man wakes up his deaf and blind dog without scaring her

This guy went on Instagram to show everyone how he wakes up his dog , who is deaf and blind @ @ @ @ @ The owner is called Aiden and the dog is a 10-month-old Australian shepherd .
And @ @ @ @ @ well , have a watch for yourself .
This dog oh-so-subtly indicating that he ’ @ @ @ @ @ a walk is just brilliant

Videos
This guy went on Instagram to show everyone how he wakes up his dog, who is deaf and blind, without scaring her.
The owner is called Aiden and the dog is a 10-month-old Australian shepherd.
And it went viral because, well, have a watch for yourself.
Wholesome content.
READ MORE
This dog oh-so-subtly indicating that he’d like to go for a walk is just brilliant
Video/images Aiden Michael Mann H/T BoredPanda


thepoke--2020-04-21--‘My sister keeps photoshopping her cat’s face onto bees’

My sister keeps photoshopping her cat ’ s face onto bees , ’ says u/mattjh over on Reddit .
And @ @ @ @ @ really loved it .
‘ Awesome .
This is genuinely funny and cool !
’ @ @ @ @ @ the most angry bee I ’ ve ever seen.
’ Admirable_Hawk ‘ I think he @ @ @ @

Pics
‘My sister keeps photoshopping her cat’s face onto bees,’ says u/mattjh over on Reddit.
And people loved it, they really loved it.
‘Awesome. This is genuinely funny and cool!’ Christofferoo ‘That’s the most angry bee I’ve ever seen.’ Admirable_Hawk ‘I think he looks buzzed.’ slice_of_pi
READ MORE
Bees vs. Wasps – explained!
Source Reddit u/mattjh


thepoke--2020-04-21--Give your sense of humour a run out with these 15 lockdown jokes

Some people have been self-isolating , some going out to do essential work , others discovering why teachers need six @ @ @ @ @ .
Whatever else you ’ re doing , give yourself a few minutes to read @ @ @ @ @ weight off your brain .

Twitter
Some people have been self-isolating, some going out to do essential work, others discovering why teachers need six weeks off in one go.
Whatever else you’re doing, give yourself a few minutes to read these jokes and take the weight off your brain.
1.
There’s no way I’m going to the fucking supermarket without doing my nails. pic.twitter.com/m5dxjLzb00 — Tashy McTashface (@TashP351) April 20, 2020
2.
What zombie movies got wrong about the actual apocalypse, part 1,487: they omitted scenes of people on the street demanding the right to be eaten by zombies. — Kelly Davio (@kellydavio) April 19, 2020
3.
Bored so thought I’d rename my WiFi to mess with my neighbours pic.twitter.com/J2PsT3j1Q2 — Cheish (@TheCheish) April 19, 2020
4.
The next time you hear a celebrity saying, "we'll get through this together," send them your electric bill with a thank you note. — Jack Boot (@IamJackBoot) April 20, 2020
5.
I signed up for a zoom workout class that was too advanced so when the instructor said “do a plank and bring your knee to the opposite elbow,” I did a modified version where I turned off my computer and made pancakes — Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) April 20, 2020
6.
This pandemic has prompted a lot of questions like, “Who is at the most risk” and “Is it airborne” and “Has my wife always chewed that loudly?” — Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 20, 2020
7.
Did the virus write this? https://t.co/3AigQuF1aL — Lindsay Beyerstein (@beyerstein) April 20, 2020
8.


thepoke--2020-04-21--‘I’m 90% sure that last line is a Google translation of sugar daddy and I can’t stop laughing’

‘ She doesn ’ t speak English and I ’ m 90 % sure that last line is a google @ @ @ @ @ I can ’ t stop laughing , ’ says , ahem , u/DoctorPoopTrain over on @ @ @ @ @ s a little bit niche , but each to their own .
This guy ’ @ @ @ @ @ honest but totally cringeworthy

Pics
Tinder profile of the week.
‘She doesn’t speak English and I’m 90% sure that last line is a google translation of sugar daddy and I can’t stop laughing,’ says, ahem, u/DoctorPoopTrain over on Reddit.
Well it’s a little bit niche, but each to their own.
‘I need me a glucose guardian 😏’ MAGJ1119 ‘Pretty sure toxic girl is supposed to be bad bitch.’ freakers ‘Carbohydrate Caretaker is better.’ rance_kun
READ MORE
This guy’s Tinder profile is very honest but totally cringeworthy
Source Reddit u/DoctorPoopTrain


thepoke--2020-04-21--It’s 4 years since Prince died so it’s also 4 years since this happened on Twitter

‘ It ’ s 4 years today since Prince died , ’ says @ Pandamoanimum over on Twitter .
‘ @ @ @ @ @ , because sometimes sadness can still bring laughter , and I think right now we @ @ @ @ @ ’ And there was a PS .
Always put your glasses on .

Pics
‘It’s 4 years today since Prince died,’ says @Pandamoanimum over on Twitter.
‘So a reminder of this, because sometimes sadness can still bring laughter, and I think right now we need laughter more than ever.’
Amen to that.
We’re with this person.
I’m suffering from terrible insomnia right now (it’s 4:30am here) and I absolutely *cannot* thank you enough for the laugh you just gave me during this utter misery — Lila Fowler 🎀 (@LilaFowler2017) April 21, 2020
Thinking of having ‘hope he’s ok x’ on my gravestone. — Athers #masks4all (@Athers1977) April 21, 2020
And there was a PS.
(via)
Always put your glasses on.
Follow @Pandamoanimum now!
READ MORE
People love the Prince estate’s response after Donald Trump played Purple Rain at a rally
Source @Pandamoanimum


thepoke--2020-04-21--This 94-year-old man’s reaction to a thoughtful gift is giving people feelings

Although care homes are necessary for some members of society , particularly the older folk , it ’ s natural @ @ @ @ @ family outside – or those they ’ ve lost .
When Ki-Mariah Tobin , a @ @ @ @ @ Care Home spotted that one of the residents slept with a photo of his wife @ @ @ @ @ really thoughtful gift , and the footage has gone viral .
94-year-old Ken Benbow had @ @ @ @ @ when his wife , Ada , died .
It ’ s clear from the clip @ @ @ @ @ to him .
The footage was shared by LADbible and has picked up over half @ @ @ @ @ matter of hours .
Understandably , people have been getting quite emotional about the touching @ @ @ @ @ much she loves her job .
We can tell , Ki-Mariah .
We can tell @ @ @ @ @ court appearance for speeding will give you feelings

Videos
Although care homes are necessary for some members of society, particularly the older folk, it’s natural for residents to miss their family outside – or those they’ve lost.
When Ki-Mariah Tobin, a care worker at Thistleton Lodge Care Home spotted that one of the residents slept with a photo of his wife, she bought him a really thoughtful gift, and the footage has gone viral.
After noticing that Ken slept with a photo of his late wife every night, one of the carers at Thistleton Lodge presented him with this incredible gift… pic.twitter.com/Q1v8V8HUFS — The Manc (@TheMancUK) April 20, 2020
94-year-old Ken Benbow had been married for 71 years when his wife, Ada, died. It’s clear from the clip how much the cushion meant to him.
The footage was shared by LADbible and has picked up over half a million views in a matter of hours.
The pair spoke to Good Morning Britain.
'I was 17-and-a-half. I joined the navy. I was on patrols of the Channel before D-Day.' Wow! What a man. From the shores of the Channel to the shores of Japan, 94-year-old Ken served his country with distinction.#KenandKia | #TuesdayMotivation pic.twitter.com/QUHXfQaquK — Good Morning Britain (@GMB) April 21, 2020
Understandably, people have been getting quite emotional about the touching gift.
The pollen count is high tonight. https://t.co/f9AOLwFL3z — Twinks (@tinytwink) April 20, 2020
Bruv who’s cuttin fuckin onions https://t.co/RaJxsPjSCE — Chris Jones † (@Chris_jones996) April 20, 2020
It's Nice to be Nice…. superb this👏🏼👏🏼 — Robbie Fowler (@Robbie9Fowler) April 20, 2020
Ki-Mariah said how much she loves her job.
🥰 i have such an amazing job thankyou so much for your support and amazing comments 🥰 https://t.co/XWxco0xEs9 — ki-mariah (@KiaTobin) April 20, 2020
We can tell, Ki-Mariah. We can tell.
READ MORE
This 96-year-old’s court appearance for speeding will give you feelings
Source TheMancUK and Wales Online Image Good Morning Britain


thepoke--2020-04-21--Not even works of art can escape the Covid police – 15 masterpieces

During the lockdown , there have been various reports of police overstepping the mark – in one instance telling a @ @ @ @ @ out of her own garden .
People have been inspired by this to reimagine works @ @ @ @ @ the social distancing rules , and they work remarkably well .

Pics
During the lockdown, there have been various reports of police overstepping the mark – in one instance telling a woman to go back in out of her own garden.
People have been inspired by this to reimagine works of art as infringements of the social distancing rules, and they work remarkably well.
Very into these pic.twitter.com/09YlCO4Rw0 — Hannah Rose Woods (@hannahrosewoods) April 17, 2020
1.
@hannahrosewoods
2.
@hannahrosewoods
3.
@hannahrosewoods
4.
@SamJamesMorgan
5.
@SamJamesMorgan
6.
@SamJamesMorgan
7.
@SamJamesMorgan
8.
@SamJamesMorgan


thepoke--2020-04-21--What’s going on with that hand in this government lockdown poster? 6 funny responses

To remind us not to go and lick swings or touch other people ’ s eyeballs , the UK government @ @ @ @ @ TV and radio ads imploring us to stay home and wash our hands .
They @ @ @ @ @ social media to spread the message .
And then there ’ s this one : @ @ @ @ @ the angles and shadows that makes that seem like a disembodied hand , and Twitter @ @ @ @ @ busted the myths about the social impact of coronavirus and everyone applauded

Pics
To remind us not to go and lick swings or touch other people’s eyeballs, the UK government has bombarded the public with TV and radio ads imploring us to stay home and wash our hands.
They’ve also been using social media to spread the message.
Stay at home. You’ll be protecting your family, friends and community. #StayHomeSaveLives pic.twitter.com/ptKIBuhvKL — UK Prime Minister (@10DowningStreet) April 20, 2020
If you want to stay safe, stay at home. It’s the safest place there is. #StayHomeSaveLives pic.twitter.com/eC4BkWteaU — UK Prime Minister (@10DowningStreet) April 20, 2020
And then there’s this one:
Hang on …
There’s something about the angles and shadows that makes that seem like a disembodied hand, and Twitter spotted it.
1.
Stay safe. Stay at home. Ignore the disembodied arm clutching at your leg. Ţ̷̛̟̜̑͊͋h̵͎̫͎́̔͗ḛ̶̡̟̖̌͑r̴̲̬̽̕e̸̡̡͈̎͒͗'̶̛̮͓̖̪͒s̵̪̺̗͋͋ͅ ̸̪̒ṋ̵̮̣̱̍͝o̵͉͑̿ ̷͔̹̏p̶̢̻̻̉͊͊l̶̹̯̈́a̸̡̤͍̅͜c̶̥̩̜͋̊̑͝e̵̡̼͋͌͛͝ ̷̘̞̤̊̍̽ĺ̶̡̲̪͆̀͘i̸̡̤̹̖̐̒̎k̵̬̟̭͌̂e̸̗̣̓̏͘ ̸͖̊̕h̵̞̭̰́́͝ọ̶͚̈́̐͛m̷̤̐͘é̴͎͚̐̽͛- https://t.co/QYvMRYnxao — James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 18, 2020
2.
I guess the dog found that hand during the last dogwalk? Nice of the girls to let him keep it. 😉 — Bernd Porr (@BerndPorr) April 18, 2020
3.
What in the holy hell is this shapeshifter dog doing growing a human arm 😱😱😱😱🤮🤮🤮🤮😱😱😱😱 — Cat K 🇪🇺 🏴🇮🇪🇪🇺🇬🇧 (@KitCatK) April 18, 2020
4.
Hundreds of Britons stayed home figuring out whose arm was whose. Good strategy. — Matthew Moss (@MJMOSS) April 18, 2020
5.
The Adams Family pic.twitter.com/qmil8QZDxS — Liz Webster 🔶🏴🇬🇧🇪🇺 FBPE (@abcpoppins) April 18, 2020
6.
The nation now needs to know if the extra hand is from the same household. — MD #FBPE 🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@surfdoctor) April 18, 2020
Author James Felton had a reminder.
It’s very important you wash your disembodied possessed arm for at least two choruses of hail Satan — James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 18, 2020
READ MORE
Emily Maitlis busted the myths about the social impact of coronavirus and everyone applauded
Source 10 Downing Street Image 10 Downing Street


thepoke--2020-04-21--16 (mostly) believable excuses to get off the phone during lockdown

In normal times , we can all end a phone call that ’ s outstayed its welcome by claiming we @ @ @ @ @ or we have a restaurant booked , etc .
For most people , in these @ @ @ @ @ excuses just won ’ t wash , so actor and comedian Naomi Ekperigin asked Twitter @ @ @ @ @ People have clearly been giving this some thought , and they came up with plenty @ @ @ @ @ suggestions , however , were probably less likely to fool anyone .

Twitter
In normal times, we can all end a phone call that’s outstayed its welcome by claiming we have to go to work or we have a restaurant booked, etc.
For most people, in these highly abnormal times, those excuses just won’t wash, so actor and comedian Naomi Ekperigin asked Twitter for some new excuses.
How are we ending phone conversations now that we don't have anywhere to go? — Naomi Ekperigin (@Blacktress) April 18, 2020
People have clearly been giving this some thought, and they came up with plenty to choose from.
Some were totally believable.
1.
"The dog is eating something they shouldn't" is all I've got. — Louie Stowell (@Louiestowell) April 19, 2020
2.
I always say “I actually haven’t eaten yet today so I gotta go” — Kevin T. Porter (@KevinTPorter) April 18, 2020
3.
cool thing about having a dog is you can just say “well I gotta go walk my dog” — Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) April 18, 2020
4.
“Just pulled dinner out of the oven” pic.twitter.com/HFSyvae868 — Ry ☀ (@RyanneOConnor) April 18, 2020
5.
I pretend the phone is dying. — SabrinaNYC1🇨🇦🇺🇸 (@SabrinaNYC1) April 19, 2020
6.
“Ok gonna go jump in the shower” meanwhile my shower is like pic.twitter.com/WUFS0sXJbh — marcoandante🇵🇷 (@marcoandante) April 18, 2020
7.
"Okay, gotta go. My Zoom yoga class starts in 10 minutes." — Paula-Caffe Latte Productions (@paulablum9) April 18, 2020
Some suggestions, however, were probably less likely to fool anyone.
8.
I gotta get to the living room I’ll talk to you soon… — SCAM GODDESS (@DivaLaci) April 18, 2020
9.
Wait, what did you say?
You're breaking up!
I'm walking through a hallway!
Hello?
*crinkles paper*
*throws phone*
*goes back to introverting*
😊 pic.twitter.com/7A6NhHgzbQ — Krista Creighton (@CreightonKrista) April 19, 2020
10.


thepoke--2020-04-21--This brother’s prank made him $50 but his sister’s reaction was priceless

It ’ s this kind of thing that gives big brothers a bad reputation .
It ’ s very funny @ @ @ @ @ , Jordan .
It may not be new , but it was obviously new to @ @ @ @ @ sister .
Here are a few reactions to the prank .
We suspect he ’ @ @ @ @ @ one eye open for the foreseeable future .

Videos
It’s this kind of thing that gives big brothers a bad reputation. It’s very funny, though.
Bet my sister $50 dollars that she couldn’t do everything I do and she got mad 😂 pic.twitter.com/C5qPaeFkA9 — Jordan Davenport (@its_jaybruh) April 4, 2020
Smoothly done, Jordan. It may not be new, but it was obviously new to Jordan’s newly poorer sister.
Here are a few reactions to the prank.
This made me laugh. 😂😂 https://t.co/hCFtROoIER — Katharine Birbalsingh (@Miss_Snuffy) April 5, 2020
bamboozled, hoodwinked, led astray, run amuck, and flat out deceived! — Andy Harry (@HarryAndy2) April 4, 2020
I honestly love every prank that isn't mean spirited And this is gold 😂 https://t.co/uUA3tuKaWT — Max Black ⚫ (@maxblackhole) April 5, 2020
We suspect he’ll need to sleep with one eye open for the foreseeable future.
READ MORE
We can’t stop watching this hilarious dinosaur costume prank
Source Jordan Davenport Image Jordan Davenport


thepoke--2020-04-21--People can hardly believe Donald Trump tweeted this unofficial campaign ad

You ’ d think we ’ d be used to Donald Trump ‘ s antics by now – whether it @ @ @ @ @ the world saw him do on live TV , tweeting insults at egotistical dictators with @ @ @ @ @ at journalists for *checks notes* anything and everything .
However , his latest unofficial campaign @ @ @ @ @ election shows he still has the power to raise eyebrows .
Can you sue a @ @ @ @ @ five favourite reactions to …whatever that was .
Let ’ s face it , deep @ @ @ @ @ still at this stage .
Trump has asked wrestler Vince McMahon to help him reopen @ @ @ @ @ body slams

Twitter
You’d think we’d be used to Donald Trump‘s antics by now – whether it’s flatly denying something the world saw him do on live TV, tweeting insults at egotistical dictators with nuclear capability, or yelling at journalists for *checks notes* anything and everything.
However, his latest unofficial campaign advert for the upcoming presidential election shows he still has the power to raise eyebrows.
from Awkward GIFs via Gfycat
Can you sue a president? These were our five favourite reactions to …whatever that was.
1.
1000 more Americans died overnight
But Combover Caligula
who spent 5 years spreading a racist smear
that the 1st black POTUS wasn't born here and was sued by Nixon's DOJ for being a lying racist
fired by NBC for being a lying racist
tweets this https://t.co/io8RVryaxx — John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 20, 2020
2.
Obama lives in your head rent free. You are a pathetic sack of feces. — Jeffrey Guterman (@JeffreyGuterman) April 20, 2020
3.
imagine being this proud of being this infantile — Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) April 20, 2020
4.
Donald Trump Thinking About Barack Obama.. pic.twitter.com/L9rMV8KfAm — Brown Eyed Susan (@smc429) April 21, 2020
5.
Given the choice of being a leader or being a dick, Trump will choose "dick," every time. https://t.co/3ujfSmXtZ5 — Lance Gould (@lancegould) April 20, 2020
Let’s face it, deep down we’re all still at this stage.
The President of the United States really tweeted this 💀 pic.twitter.com/R4BDZPuzma — Stevie (@steviesburner) April 20, 2020
READ MORE
Trump has asked wrestler Vince McMahon to help him reopen the economy – 5 lethal body slams
Source Donald Trump Donald Trump


thepoke--2020-04-21--The audio of Trump talking Covid-19 goes so well with this ‘drunk woman in club’ it’s uncanny

This is so well done , the audio of Donald Trump talking Covid-19 ( or at least , trying to @ @ @ @ @ of a ‘ drunk woman in a club ’ .
They go so well it @ @ @ @ @ similar but different , was this .
You can find @ kyscottt on TikTok here @ @ @ @ @ Donald Trump tweeted this unofficial campaign ad

Videos
This is so well done, the audio of Donald Trump talking Covid-19 (or at least, trying to) put in the mouth of a ‘drunk woman in a club’.
They go so well it’s uncanny.
Day of quarantine #74 pic.twitter.com/2YPf160x5T — Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney) April 20, 2020
Superb!
This is art. Actual art. — Steven (@stvngrdy) April 20, 2020
And similar but different, was this.
By day 30 quarantine. All of us. pic.twitter.com/fT7B6Jeek7 — Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney) April 5, 2020
You can find @kyscottt on TikTok here.
READ MORE
People can hardly believe Donald Trump tweeted this unofficial campaign ad
H/T @mommaunfiltered


thepoke--2020-04-21--DIY fail of the week

DIY fail of the week

There ’ s nothing like doing a bit of DIY , especially in these difficult times when we ’ ve @ @ @ @ @ spend at home .
Could save a fortune , right ?
‘ I installed my @ @ @ @ @ $ 150 in install fees !
’ writes u/zingusdingus over on Reddit .
‘ Good @ @ @ @ @ t a pandemic taking place and someone can come and fix it quickly.
’ Fresh2Desh @ @ @ @ @ eat microwave food.
’ Gudin Yes , that will make him feel a lot better @ @ @ @ @ door ’ suffered an unfortunate schoolboy error and it ’ s funny and far too @

Pics
There’s nothing like doing a bit of DIY, especially in these difficult times when we’ve got so much time to spend at home. Could save a fortune, right?
‘I installed my own microwave today and saved $150 in install fees!’ writes u/zingusdingus over on Reddit.
Oh.
‘Good thing that there isn’t a pandemic taking place and someone can come and fix it quickly.’ Fresh2Desh ‘That’s a nice micro…oh fuck!’ SpinachSalad91 ‘At least he can eat microwave food.’ Gudin
Yes, that will make him feel a lot better.
READ MORE
This DIY ‘kitty door’ suffered an unfortunate schoolboy error and it’s funny and far too relatable
Source Reddit u/zingusdingus


thepoke--2020-04-21--German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer’s letter from his mum is the ultimate parental burn

Burn of the week – that week being the first week in November 1807 – is this letter sent by @ @ @ @ @ son , German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer .
Next level doesn ’ t quite do it @ @ @ @ @ s mom just absolutely letting him hear it , ’ said @ doltery over on @ @ @ @ @ parents homeschooling their kids everywhere ( bit harsh ?
Yes , probably ) .
This @ @ @ @ @ at her ‘ insane ’ philosophical husband is a very funny read

Pics
Burn of the week – that week being the first week in November 1807 – is this letter sent by author Johanna Schopenhauer to her son, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer.
Next level doesn’t quite do it justice.
‘Schopenhauer’s mom just absolutely letting him hear it,’ said @doltery over on Twitter.
Goes out to parents homeschooling their kids everywhere (bit harsh? Yes, probably).
“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer Makes more sense now. — Shashank Pratap Singh (@InfectdSunlight) April 21, 2020
READ MORE
This physicist wife’s fury at her ‘insane’ philosophical husband is a very funny read
Source @doltery


thepoke--2020-04-21--There are 16 circles in this image and it’ll properly mess with your brain (it’s called the ‘Coffer

There are 16 circles in this image and it’ll properly mess with your brain (it’s called the ‘Coffer Illusion’)

Here ’ s a great little optical illusion that is proving popular on Twitter .
There are 16 circles in @ @ @ @ @ s known as the ‘ Coffer illusion ’ – but they ’ re difficult to @ @ @ @ @ spot .
Except , once you ’ ve seen them , it ’ s all @ @ @ @ @ This is called the ‘ Coffer Illusion ’ .
In the image there are 16 @ @ @ @ @ them ?
’ asked @ berniespofforth .
‘ The illusion works because of our brain @ @ @ @ @ to see closed shapes , and because of its interpretation of the vertical versus the @ @ @ @ @ click on this link if you really , really can ’ t see them .

Pics
Here’s a great little optical illusion that is proving popular on Twitter. There are 16 circles in this image – it’s known as the ‘Coffer illusion’ – but they’re difficult to spot, very difficult to spot.
Except, once you’ve seen them, it’s all you can see!
‘This is called the ‘Coffer Illusion’. In the image there are 16 circles. Can you see them?’ asked @berniespofforth.
‘The illusion works because of our brain’s tendency to want to see closed shapes, and because of its interpretation of the vertical versus the horizontal stripes.’
Got ’em yet?
Is this a fooking wind up?😱 — Mick Conroy (@MickConroy2) April 19, 2020
Once you realise what there is 16 of in the picture, you get it — David Allen Green (@davidallengreen) April 20, 2020
But only click on this link if you really, really can’t see them.
Wow – that’s messing with my head. I can see frames or I can see circles, but not both at once. And I couldn’t see the circles at all until I did a search for this and found an image with the circles highlighted. https://t.co/3YHhV7fdhZ — Galway Curiousblue (@iamcuriousblue) April 19, 2020
READ MORE
This optical illusion is blowing everybody’s minds
Source Twitter @berniespofforth


thepoke--2020-04-22--Essential training for restaurant waiting staff during Covid-19

Just a brutal Covid-19 takedown for anyone thinking of asking something similar

Videos
‘New training for servers,’ says FreGeek over on Imgur.
Don’t forget to throw a tip.
READ MORE
This lovely tale of a duckling rescue mission is exactly the good news story we needed right now
Source Imgur


thepoke--2020-04-22--Just a brutal Covid-19 takedown for anyone thinking of asking something similar

14 of the best good-humoured reactions to help us all deal with the lockdown

Pics
This unexpected plot twist is brutal but necessary.
Stay home!
READ MORE
This home-brew disaster is the perfect metaphor for 2020
Source Imgur


thepoke--2020-04-22--14 of the best good-humoured reactions to help us all deal with the lockdown

It ’ s to their credit that the people of Twitter are still maintaining a sense of humour – if @ @ @ @ @ with regards to the difficult situation in which we find ourselves .
Please enjoy the @ @ @ @ @ chops , and stay safe .
Give your sense of humour a run out with @ @ @ @

Twitter
It’s to their credit that the people of Twitter are still maintaining a sense of humour – if somewhat dark at times – with regards to the difficult situation in which we find ourselves.
Please enjoy the fruits of their impressive comedy chops, and stay safe.
1.
If anyone in Hollywood survives this, the first thing they’ll have to do is completely rewrite the template for apocalypse movies to incorporate a lot more day drinking and standing on bits of Lego. — swimming tablets (@SwimmingTablets) April 21, 2020
2.
The raccoons are returning to the libraries. Nature is healing. pic.twitter.com/TI3B2LQhGX — Anna Mazzola (@Anna_Mazz) April 20, 2020
3.
Coronavirus is stored in the balls pic.twitter.com/u7L9EZddGR — James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 22, 2020
4.
All men right now have the haircuts of 14year old boys half way through a Winter term in an all boy's secondary school. — Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) April 21, 2020
5.
When cats work from home pic.twitter.com/EtoExtrIht — Holly Brockwell (@holly) March 28, 2020
6.
Only four thousand six hundred and eighty five days till Christmas! — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) April 22, 2020
7.
Straight couples and their children when they go out on their daily walk pic.twitter.com/kbNaiLf2Zq — David ✨ (@d_cshn) April 21, 2020
8.
Your quarantine name is your long card number and the three-digit security code on the back. — Rick Burin (@rickburin) April 17, 2020
9.
If anything, I have definitely learned the difference between “sell by” and “use by” dates. — Jedi Cheesy Grits (@JediGigi) April 19, 2020
10.
Darts could be dominating the live sports scene right now… — Duncan Jones (@ManMadeMoon) April 21, 2020
11.
It’s weird writing ’I hope you are well’ in emails and it not being merely a platitude. — Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) April 20, 2020
12.
Wow, just as UKIP warned, Britain is being swamped by planeloads of immigrants from Turkey, except instead of immigrants they're vital medical supplies, and instead of being swamped, we’re desperate for more. But apart from that, UKIP was as dead right as it usually is. — paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) April 22, 2020
13.
I see no problem with rushing through vaccine experiments that normally take years, done by people who can’t work email. — Danny Wallace 🇪🇺 (@dannywallace) April 21, 2020
14.
I’ve had it with the wildlife thinking they run the town now, foxes standing outside my house smoking, hedgehogs cruising by on scooters and making eye contact — Crappy Living (@crappyliving) April 21, 2020
READ MORE
Give your sense of humour a run out with these 15 lockdown jokes
Image @drew_hays on Unsplash, The Telegraph


thepoke--2020-04-22--Can you solve the mystery of what happened to the green dye?

Danny Pirtle asked Twitter to do a bit of detective work to get to the bottom of an absolute mystery @ @ @ @ @ whodunnit – or rather , the whatdunnit .
This is the dye … And these @ @ @ @ @ It might help to have a little more info on the suspects .
As one @ @ @ @ @ you never know .
This cat thinking long and hard about hitting this dog is @ @ @ @ @

Pics
Danny Pirtle asked Twitter to do a bit of detective work to get to the bottom of an absolute mystery.
Here’s the whodunnit – or rather, the whatdunnit.
Someone got into the green food dye last night. Can you help us solve this mystery? Here are our current suspects. pic.twitter.com/GhOPV4JaLL — Danny (@DannyPirtle19) April 18, 2020
This is the dye …
And these are the potential culprits.
It’s a real stinker.
via Gfycat
It might help to have a little more info on the suspects.
The bunny is Chewie, the brown dog is Reydog, and the black and white puppy is RuthieBone. I'm thinking the only way we will get to the bottom of this is by giving all of them lots of treats and snuggles. — Danny (@DannyPirtle19) April 18, 2020
As one person pointed out …
Brown dog has a green beard – rest my case — Herewego10inarow (@JanKubis) April 19, 2020
But you never know.
I've watched enough law and order to know he was obviously framed by the rabbit — Jodi Beggs (@jodiecongirl) April 18, 2020
READ MORE
This cat thinking long and hard about hitting this dog is 36 seconds very well spent
Source @DannyPirtle19 Image @DannyPirtle19


thepoke--2020-04-22--This lovely tale of a duckling rescue mission is exactly the good news story we needed right now

Here ’ s a good news story to pierce through the gloom right now .
It ’ s not the @ @ @ @ @ the size of them , for goodness sake – but it ’ s a very @ @ @ @ @ a few of the things people were saying about it .
Museums are trolling each @ @ @ @ @ and it ’ s quacking brilliant

Pics
Here’s a good news story to pierce through the gloom right now. It’s not the biggest story – look at the size of them, for goodness sake – but it’s a very welcome one.
The tale of a duckling rescue mission shared on Twitter by @phil_torres and don’t blame us if you have a little something in your eye at the end of it.
1.
Looking for some good news today? Was out on our neighborhood walk when I heard some baby birds peeping… I expected to see a nest in a tree but realized the sound was below my feet! pic.twitter.com/zYOlKWnBek — Phil Torres (@phil_torres) April 21, 2020
2.
After inspecting the storm drain and looking around for a momma duck, we realized these babies were stuck and alone and in need of some help. pic.twitter.com/bYfAQ62jXV — Phil Torres (@phil_torres) April 21, 2020
3.
We carefully gathered up the baby ducks and placed them together in a paper bag.
Our mission: find momma duck pic.twitter.com/noGiallxLV — Phil Torres (@phil_torres) April 21, 2020
4.
After a quick consult with @PAWStweets, they thought before taking them in to their wildlife rehab facility the best thing was to really try and find momma duck. I figured with all this peeping she must be nearby? But no luck after 30 mins up and down the trail. pic.twitter.com/CQc4bzt45W — Phil Torres (@phil_torres) April 21, 2020
5.
Update: no momma duck yet, but thankfully babies seem healthy and warm and hopefully she’s nearby. pic.twitter.com/Pe9727looJ — Phil Torres (@phil_torres) April 21, 2020
6.
Walking by a small pond on this property we heard a quack, then another quack, and then WE FOUND MOMMA DUCK!! pic.twitter.com/6SmqNkVQnV — Phil Torres (@phil_torres) April 21, 2020
7.
Here’s the moment we reunited these baby ducks found stuck in a storm drain with their momma duck. It was the best. pic.twitter.com/7wKABl7kSG — Phil Torres (@phil_torres) April 21, 2020
And just a few of the things people were saying about it.
This is wonderful — Nathan W. Pyle (@nathanwpyle) April 21, 2020
You know, even if that isn’t mom, she is going to take care of them forever. — Jamie L MacLaren (@JamieLOsborne) April 21, 2020
I’m not crying. I just got nature in my eyes. 😭 🦆 — Bridget Maguire VO (@bridgetfalcon) April 21, 2020
READ MORE
Museums are trolling each other with their best ducks and it’s quacking brilliant
Source Twitter @phil_torres


thepoke--2020-04-22--This supercut of Star Wars characters singing the Bee Gees’ Stayin’ Alive is out of this world

This is so funny and so clever .
And must have taken SO long .
Just a brilliant mash-up of @ @ @ @ @ well , have a watch for yourself .
Could watch that all day .
In @ @ @ @ @ the seal of approval from this guy .
Just in case you ’ re wondering @ @ @ @ @ Jimmy Fallon ’ s Tonight show back in 2015 , we think .

Videos
This is so funny and so clever. And must have taken SO long. Just a brilliant mash-up of Star Wars characters singing, well, have a watch for yourself.
No sé de quien es esta genialidad pero es … increíble pic.twitter.com/kRlW9QAS1e — Andrea Lapique (@Frikineka) April 20, 2020
Could watch that all day. In fact …
https://twitter.com/BarnabyEdwards/status/1252852690582769667?s=20
And it got the seal of approval from this guy.
This is what happens when people have too much free time on their hands. https://t.co/hqeJ4knwCr — Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) April 21, 2020
Just in case you’re wondering, it’s from Jimmy Fallon’s Tonight show back in 2015, we think.
READ MORE
Mark Hamill’s response to this question about Star Wars props was 10/10
Source @Frikineka


thepoke--2020-04-22--People love Chris Tarrant’s grandson’s review of Michael Sheen in Quiz

If you haven ’ t seen ITV ’ s Quiz you should , it ’ s very good , although @ @ @ @ @ know that Michael Sheen stars as Millionaire quizmaster , Chris Tarrant .
And here ’ @ @ @ @ @ watching him do his stuff .
It ’ s funny and very cute .
We @ @ @ @ @ loved it .
And here ’ s what Michael Sheen himself had to say about @ @ @ @ @ funniest and most gripping Millionaire moment you ’ ve ( probably ) never seen

Videos
If you haven’t seen ITV’s Quiz you should, it’s very good, although either way you probably already know that Michael Sheen stars as Millionaire quizmaster, Chris Tarrant.
And here’s Tarrant’s grandson watching him do his stuff. It’s funny and very cute.
Monster has never seen his grandpa on TV before so I thought I’d see what his reaction would be seeing @michaelsheen …. pic.twitter.com/edxRDPUy7s — Fia Tarrant (@fiatarrant) April 21, 2020
We asked the audience and they loved it.
The biggest accolade! Even Harris can’t tell the difference 🥰 xxx cute x — Pippa Taylor (@Pipskin) April 21, 2020
😂 That's amazing!
How has he never seen your Dad on TV? The best kept secret! — Amy-Jane (@socialhotcake) April 21, 2020
He’s only 4, way before his time 😂😂 xx — Fia Tarrant (@fiatarrant) April 21, 2020
And here’s what Michael Sheen himself had to say about it.
READ MORE
This is the funniest and most gripping Millionaire moment you’ve (probably) never seen
Source @fiatarrant


thepoke--2020-04-22--People have been sharing their kid-friendly jokes – our 18 favourites

Although the lockdown is really difficult for many people , it ’ s certainly shown how generous the online community @ @ @ @ @ can offer advice , entertainment or lessons remotely have been doing just that .
One @ @ @ @ @ illustrator and comedian , Olaf Falafel , who has been providing very popular art lessons @ @ @ @ @ fan had his joke included in the art club , he was naturally very pleased @ @ @ @ @ like daft jokes , fancy a trip back to childhood silliness or have kids to @ @ @ @ @ for you .
There are loads of poo jokes .

Twitter
Although the lockdown is really difficult for many people, it’s certainly shown how generous the online community can be. Those who can offer advice, entertainment or lessons remotely have been doing just that.
One such person is author, illustrator and comedian, Olaf Falafel, who has been providing very popular art lessons.
Hello Twitter. My name is Olaf Falafel – I am a comedian and illustrator and I am uploading a new 30 minute #ArtClubWithOlafFalafel every Monday at 11am for as long as the lockdown lasts – here is a 1 minute sampler. They will all be available forever here https://t.co/qKKaijfGlF pic.twitter.com/rtXYvz4Uiy — Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) April 9, 2020
When one witty art fan had his joke included in the art club, he was naturally very pleased.
TFW your joke gets read out on @OFalafel s Art Club. Thanks Olaf! pic.twitter.com/VPalKxueNz — Rob Ryan (@robryanRM) April 13, 2020
Which got Olaf thinking.
If you’ve got a classic child friendly joke – put it below, let’s get a thread going 👍 https://t.co/DImXa5xOUG — Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) April 13, 2020
So, whether you like daft jokes, fancy a trip back to childhood silliness or have kids to entertain, these are perfect for you. There are loads of poo jokes.
1.
What's brown and funny? Clown poo. — Emma on thin icing, well away from you. (@oughtaknowexup) April 13, 2020
2.
What’s the difference between Dubai & Abu Dhabi? The people of Dubai don’t like the Flintstones but the people of Abu Dhabi do. — Hippokloppamus (@Hippokloppamus) April 13, 2020
3.
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
*shouts* NO YOU'RE A POO! — Baz (@bazlyons) April 13, 2020
4.
What's yellow and dangerous? Shark-infested custard pic.twitter.com/oLBwNaKbOs — Tommy Coyne 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 😉👊😷 (@TommyCoyneBN1) April 13, 2020
5.
Why did the baker have smelly fingers?
Because he kneaded a poo! — Rosco (@RoscoLandale) April 13, 2020
6.
What's brown and can jump twenty storys high?
A poo in a lift. — BoskoBear (@bozzyrosko) April 13, 2020
7.
What do you call a chicken in a shell suit? An egg! — Methodic (@Methodic360) April 13, 2020
8.
What’s green, has six legs, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you?
A snooker table. — AD (@aidnabet) April 13, 2020
9.


thepoke--2020-04-22--The unexpected payoff to this news report is very funny and a proper OMG moment

You really do have to watch this to the end ( it doesn ’ t disappoint ) .
Some people @ @ @ @ @ .
This Donald Trump press conference was made a lot more entertaining by a brush @ @

Videos
You really do have to watch this to the end (it doesn’t disappoint).
I absolutely need you all to watch this fully wild news clip in its entirety!!!! pic.twitter.com/0tK3P9jrJM — Madison Malone Kircher (@4evrmalone) April 21, 2020
NOOOOO!!!!!
Very glad to hear Jack is home and recovering but DAMN WHAT A JOURNEY!!!!! — Madison Malone Kircher (@4evrmalone) April 21, 2020
Following “he has died” with “last Thursday, he was clapped out” is some traumatic shit. — Adi Joseph (@AdiJoseph) April 21, 2020
not in the *figurative* sense but in the quite literal sense — Kathryn VanArendonk (@kvanaren) April 21, 2020
wow rest in peace Jack… in your bed tonight I guess or maybe on the couch if you take a nap — J.D. (@RealDealJD) April 21, 2020
Credit to the anchor, that's quite a turn-of-phrase to pull when every synapse in his brain must have been in utter panic mode. I'd have muttered "my bad" six times before fleeing, never to be heard from again. — Irrelevant Nonsense (@InsipidTwaddle) April 21, 2020
Some people were still a bit confused.
I still don’t understand if he’s alive or dead. — Brent (@KiddCann) April 21, 2020
Jack is definitely most definitely absolutely alive — Lenin Was A Slytherin (Canon) (@mrsmcglover) April 21, 2020
We’re with this person.
https://twitter.com/yashar/status/1252724074138054656?s=20
READ MORE
This Donald Trump press conference was made a lot more entertaining by a brush and hairdryer
Source Twitter @4evrmalone


thepoke--2020-04-22--This Donald Trump press conference was made a lot more entertaining by a brush and hairdryer

It turns out Donald Trump press conferences can be made a lot more entertaining with the addition of a brush @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s really , really windy .
This clip is just brilliant , shared @ @ @ @ @ And this was very clever too …

Videos
It turns out Donald Trump press conferences can be made a lot more entertaining with the addition of a brush and hairdryer, especially if it’s really, really windy.
This clip is just brilliant, shared by @coco_who_ on Twitter
I’m done with the Internet pic.twitter.com/4NiM3BAUYP — Coco (@coco_who_) April 21, 2020
Perfect!
This is the internet I signed up for. — ì ☆ (@Jennicide) April 22, 2020
I don’t care who you are or what political leanings you have…. this is funny haha — Keith (@11B63BVet) April 21, 2020
Best one since “Hand-sock puppet eats racing cars” https://t.co/pCaFjU2Gus — Clare McDonnell (@claremcdonnell1) April 22, 2020
And this was very clever too …
This new TikTok genre is killing me pic.twitter.com/aWQIny7Mmi — luke i am your mother (@MommaUnfiltered) April 20, 2020
READ MORE
18 expert pisstakes of Donald Trump’s laughable fake tan
Source Twitter @coco_who_


thepoke--2020-04-22--This “government letter” about extra school is some next-level kid pranking

Comedian , Schwitz , shared on Twitter the expert-level prank he played on his daughters .
“ when the schools @ @ @ @ @ make up for lost time by not only teaching your children from Monday to Friday @ @ @ @ @ compulsory for your child to attend on Saturdays and Sundays for the first 6 months.
@ @ @ @ @ – but in a good way .
His daughter fell for it – and spread @ @ @ @ @ his partner ramped up the torture .
Perhaps a little guilt crept in .
Not @ @ @ @ @

Pics
Comedian, Schwitz, shared on Twitter the expert-level prank he played on his daughters.
My youngest has been banging on about “prank week” and has been royally pranking us all day. Little does she know, her father is the prank master Both of them panicking now, the bonus is that their sadness has brought a hush into the house. pic.twitter.com/IsI6MoZb2V — schwitz (@sentientbomb) April 21, 2020
“when the schools reopen, we will quickly make up for lost time by not only teaching your children from Monday to Friday, but also making it compulsory for your child to attend on Saturdays and Sundays for the first 6 months.”
It’s evil – but in a good way. His daughter fell for it – and spread the news.
My eldest (11) has her friends on a speakerphone group chat, she’s sent it to them, words like “it’s mandatory” are being shrieked out This is the best day ever — schwitz (@sentientbomb) April 21, 2020
Schwitz and his partner ramped up the torture.
My other half and I are discussing how to kill time when they go back to school on the weekends. Openly debating about going to funfairs and the beach before picking them up from school — schwitz (@sentientbomb) April 21, 2020
You come for me with farts and paintings of pops and I will come for you kids, you will reap the fruits of what you sow. Welcome to the big leagues — schwitz (@sentientbomb) April 21, 2020
Perhaps a little guilt crept in.
Thinking about when to tell them? I’m not sure I can let them going to bed thinking about this. When we went for a walk they were both rationalising it — schwitz (@sentientbomb) April 21, 2020
I’m going to tell them in half hour, naturally I’ll film it, you all deserve to see it first hand — schwitz (@sentientbomb) April 21, 2020
Not too much, though.