thepoke--2020-09-22--People have been suggesting films with Donald Trump as a Bond Villain – these 14 diamonds are foreve

People have been suggesting films with Donald Trump as a Bond Villain – these 14 diamonds are forever

We wouldn ’ t be surprised to learn that Donald Trump sees himself as the entrepreneurial version of James Bond @ @ @ @ @ irresistible to the ladies .
Actor Devon Sawa , however , sees him as more @ @ @ @ @ so he set Twitter this challenge : We have a feeling the President wouldn ’ @ @ @ @ @ any of these titles , but we loved them .

Twitter
We wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Donald Trump sees himself as the entrepreneurial version of James Bond – suave, edgy and irresistible to the ladies.
Actor Devon Sawa, however, sees him as more of a Bond villain, so he set Twitter this challenge:
Name title of the James Bond movie if Trump was the main antagonist. pic.twitter.com/z9I3ZeTOjL — devon sawa (@DevonESawa) September 21, 2020
We have a feeling the President wouldn’t be too keen on any of these titles, but we loved them.
1.
2.
3.
The Man With The Golden Showers https://t.co/LDfJQBHZ0V — SoliTrude (@Trudski2012) September 21, 2020
4.
A View to 200,000 Kills. https://t.co/1iBt5OBk5q — Patrick S. Tomlinson (@stealthygeek) September 21, 2020
5.
LIVE AND LET EVERYONE ELSE DIE https://t.co/7BEqNsL1mi — Kurt Busiek Resists (@KurtBusiek) September 21, 2020
6.
7.


thepoke--2020-09-22--Rick Astley was on BBC Breakfast and this intro was very unfortunate indeed

There was a most unfortunate moment on BBC Breakfast today as presenter Charlie Stayt got ready to introduce Ricky Astley @ @ @ @ @ d do this by asking weatherman Matt Taylor if he was a fan .
And @ @ @ @ @ entirely well .
Ouch .
Always best to prepare these exchanges in advance .
Here @ @ @ @ @ had to say later .
Still , not the most embarrassing moment we remember involving @ @ @ @ @ of late .
Remember this ?
This archive clip of the old BBC Breakfast fitness @ @ @ @ @ well , have a watch for yourself

Videos
There was a most unfortunate moment on BBC Breakfast today as presenter Charlie Stayt got ready to introduce Rick Astley.
He thought he’d do this by asking weatherman Matt Taylor if he was a fan. And it didn’t end entirely well.
I love @MetMattTaylor. Great recovery after being thrown under the bus by Charlie Stayt pic.twitter.com/oQQ1dHVDLb — Greg James (@gregjames) September 22, 2020
Ouch. Always best to prepare these exchanges in advance.
Has anyone retrieved poor Mr Taylor from under the bus yet? 😂 https://t.co/3umZ0vj1ra — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) September 22, 2020
I can't stop watching this. https://t.co/nslAwp6QqJ — Peter Ruddick (@ruddick) September 22, 2020
https://twitter.com/MetMattTaylor/status/1308315535814406144?s=20
Still, not the most embarrassing moment we remember involving a musician on BBC Breakfast of late. Remember this?
READ MORE
This archive clip of the old BBC Breakfast fitness guy went viral because, well, have a watch for yourself
Source @BBCBreakfast


thepoke--2020-09-22--This anti-masker doesn’t believe in numbers and we’ve achieved Covidiocy Level: expert

Of all the arguments against wearing a mask – ‘ the science doesn ’ t support it ’ , ‘ @ @ @ @ @ good ’ , ‘ the government is controlled by lizards ’ etc , we have @ @ @ @ @ ve yet to hear one quite as high up the covidiocy scale as the one @ @ @ @ @ .
The clip from The Young Turks news show has gone viral , and you @ @ @ @ @ on their Instagram account .
In the meantime , here are a few of our @ @ @ @ @ user had this riposte .
Looks like she ’ s been trumped .
These anti-maskers @ @ @ @ @ without masks on and it ’ s peak covidiocy

Videos
Of all the arguments against wearing a mask – ‘the science doesn’t support it’, ‘they do more harm than good’, ‘the government is controlled by lizards’ etc, we have to say that we’ve yet to hear one quite as high up the covidiocy scale as the one offered by this Trump supporter.
The clip from The Young Turks news show has gone viral, and you can watch the full piece on their Instagram account.
In the meantime, here are a few of our favourite reactions.
"I don't believe in numbers" 😳 jesus they're just beyond parody at this point https://t.co/by0odca5TO — shauna (@goldengateblond) September 21, 2020
"I don't believe in numbers" is what Trump supporters learned to say when told their IQ test results. — Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) September 21, 2020
the mathematical anti-realists are at it again https://t.co/NEHpejkVTf — gil, a vulgar marxist (@gdmorejon) September 21, 2020
One Twitter user had this riposte.
Looks like she’s been trumped.
READ MORE
These anti-maskers ‘invaded’ a shop without masks on and it’s peak covidiocy
Source Jordan Uhl Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-09-22--Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s takedown of a Republican’s ‘dumb blonde’ troll was simply perfect

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had the perfect response for this Republican election hopeful who made the very unwise decision of trying to @ @ @ @ @ And if we know one thing about American politics – we know at least two @ @ @ @ @ you should never try to get one over on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on social media .
@ @ @ @ @ Taylor Greene , a businesswoman and conspiracy theorist who is standing for election to Congress @ @ @ @ @ say .
Ocasio-Cortez wasn ’ t the only person to spot her unfortunate mistake , @ @ @ @ @ best .
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wins comeback of the day after Donald Trump called her ‘ @ @ @

Twitter
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had the perfect response for this Republican election hopeful who made the very unwise decision of trying to troll her on Twitter.
And if we know one thing about American politics – we know at least two – it’s that you should never try to get one over on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on social media.
Here’s what Marjorie Taylor Greene, a businesswoman and conspiracy theorist who is standing for election to Congress in Georgia, had to say.
Ocasio-Cortez wasn’t the only person to spot her unfortunate mistake, but she definitely did it best.
Boom.
Wow. You single “handily” made yourself look like an idiot you already are. Nice work. pic.twitter.com/U7jmdZZKvs — YS (@NYinLA2121) September 21, 2020
This is the level of political discourse I’ve come to expect from a self described conservative Christian from Georgia. — Gregory Mark (@LifeOfABombTech) September 21, 2020
I really enjoy watching Marjorie step on a rake like this. Good times! — Nacho (@sabema11) September 21, 2020
My God … you’re every bit as stupid, ignorant and hideous as everyone said you were. Hard to believe an entire Congressional distric would be dumb enough to elect a whack job conspiracy theorists with mind-numbingly idiotic takes like this one. — Khashoggi’s Ghost (@UROCKlive1) September 21, 2020
As a blonde woman, you and your legion of Q-tip fruit loops are an embarrassment to my hair color. You're not an embarrassment to me, though, because the comparison stops there. — Florida 4 Biden – 43 days 🇺🇲 (@Leslieoo7) September 21, 2020
As for ‘dumb blonde jokes’ …
I think you single handily brought them back. — Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) September 21, 2020
To conclude.
Good Lord, you are dumb as a box of rocks. It’s “single-handedly”, genius. Other than shitty spelling, do you know how we know you are stupid? You tried to go after @aoc. Not too bright. pic.twitter.com/9bDf4pCH2o — Holly Figueroa O’Reilly (@AynRandPaulRyan) September 21, 2020
READ MORE
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wins comeback of the day after Donald Trump called her ‘not talented’
Source @mtgreenee H/T @J5Dev Images screengrabs


thepoke--2020-09-22--The only 5 reactions you need to the government’s mingling exemption for grandparents

New rules for trying to prevent Covid-19 seem to come out every day .
Boris Johnson is a few hours @ @ @ @ @ of writing – from announcing yet more of them , including a ban on entering @ @ @ @ @ .
There are some exemptions , however , including people who are in a support @ @ @ @ @ Although the exemption is for regular formal and informal childminders rather than specifically grandparents , @ @ @ @ @ with the oft-repeated warning that older people are more vulnerable .
Colin Nickless may have @ @ @ @ @ head .

Twitter
New rules for trying to prevent Covid-19 seem to come out every day. Boris Johnson is a few hours away – at the time of writing – from announcing yet more of them, including a ban on entering one another’s homes.
There are some exemptions, however, including people who are in a support bubble – and this …
Coronavirus: Grandparents exempt from local lockdown rules for childcare reasons https://t.co/7naNoVjFVG — SkyNews (@SkyNews) September 21, 2020
Although the exemption is for regular formal and informal childminders rather than specifically grandparents, it seemed somewhat at odds with the oft-repeated warning that older people are more vulnerable.
Soooo….kids can spread the virus, and grandparents are in at risk category but somehow, if it's to take care of the kids, the grandparents are not at risk anymore?? https://t.co/wlieA3TN52 — Audrey (@AudreyAurus1) September 21, 2020
These reactions reflect that.
1.
Day 271 of following the science, the government announces you can be exempt from the rules as long as you’re vulnerable. https://t.co/H72xH9xZDT — James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 21, 2020
2.
we’re sure making it easy lads https://t.co/HEhWyfJm4p pic.twitter.com/fJzVTq33hQ — Sorcha Ní Nia (@Luiseach) September 21, 2020
3.
It's so nice of Covid to make this concession for the old people. https://t.co/Do79iO3Phe — Richard Littler (@richard_littler) September 21, 2020
4.
5.
Is this because Bozo can’t afford a nanny?? 😂 https://t.co/Q0IXclJYd5 — ☘Colleen☘🇪🇺🌈😷DitchTories-SaveLives (@ColleenAvril) September 21, 2020
Colin Nickless may have hit the nail on the head.
So this isn’t about protecting the ones most vulnerable from the virus at all, but making sure that children’s parents go back to work. https://t.co/vuMCGlzlNQ — Colin Nickless #PPEforourNHS (@NicklessColin) September 21, 2020
READ MORE
Boris Johnson thinks he’s “overburdened and underpaid” – 9 very unsympathetic reactions
Source Sky News Image Philip Goldsberry and CDC on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-09-22--This triathlete has gone viral because of an act of pure sportsmanship

With all the bad news bombarding us every day , it ’ s wonderful to be able to share a story of the most selfless good sportsmanship .
At the end of the Santander Triathlon , Great Britain ’ s James Teagle must have thought his hopes of placing were dashed by a momentary lapse of concentration , but Spain ’ s Diego Méntrida , made a grand gesture .
James shared this Instagram post about the uplifting incident .
I missed the finish chute in a triathlon in Spain .
After around 50m I realised and sprinted back .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ from the finish chute and we ended up sprinting for the line .
I crashed into the barrier and thought it was over .
@ diegomentrida then did the unexpected… Having seen what happened he stopped and allowed me to pass showing incredible sportsmanship and integrity !
A video of this has now gone worldwide and been picked up by loads of media outlets .
Moral of the story is that sportsmanship is a highly regarded trait 😁… And British kids pay attention in language class.. or you may end up looking like @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the story as you ’ d expect them to – with a bit of a lump in the throat .
James O ’ Brien noticed something else considerate about Diego .
Let ’ s all be more Diego Méntrida .
We never knew you could be ‘ unsportsmanlike ’ with a water bottle

Videos
With all the bad news bombarding us every day, it’s wonderful to be able to share a story of the most selfless good sportsmanship.
At the end of the Santander Triathlon, Great Britain’s James Teagle must have thought his hopes of placing were dashed by a momentary lapse of concentration, but Spain’s Diego Méntrida, made a grand gesture.
When Spanish triathlete Diego Méntriga noticed that British triathlete James Teagle went the wrong way before finish line of Santander Triathlon,Mentriga waited for him so he could take what he says is his deserved 3rd place.“He was in front of me the whole time.He deserved it.” pic.twitter.com/5Mo52QZ3rJ — GoodNewsCorrespondent (@GoodNewsCorres1) September 19, 2020
James shared this Instagram post about the uplifting incident.
He wrote …
“So this happened a week ago… I missed the finish chute in a triathlon in Spain. After around 50m I realised and sprinted back. By that point @diegomentrida was 50m from the finish chute and we ended up sprinting for the line. I crashed into the barrier and thought it was over. @diegomentrida then did the unexpected… Having seen what happened he stopped and allowed me to pass showing incredible sportsmanship and integrity! A video of this has now gone worldwide and been picked up by loads of media outlets. Moral of the story is that sportsmanship is a highly regarded trait 😁… And British kids pay attention in language class.. or you may end up looking like a fool worldwide 😂 #Triathlon #sport #sportsmanship”
People responded to the story as you’d expect them to – with a bit of a lump in the throat.
What an amazingly beautiful sporting gesture . Well done ❤❤❤ https://t.co/GeMoTaxZFv — DK (@DineshKarthik) September 21, 2020
Honor still exists. Maybe only in northern Spain, but it's out there. https://t.co/6y5Y99hq8A — ChristopherMcDougall (@ChrisMcDougall) September 20, 2020
Be kind. Wear a mask. Be like Diego. https://t.co/bUyzrJIm7P — Emma Fielding (@emmagafielding) September 21, 2020
Today, I commit to being a little more Diego Mentriga. https://t.co/84g6WyunMo — James Mitchinson (@JayMitchinson) September 21, 2020
James O’Brien noticed something else considerate about Diego.
How utterly delightful. Note also that he pops his mask on *straight after completing a triathlon*. https://t.co/XTdBKWgyUE — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) September 21, 2020
Let’s all be more Diego Méntrida.
READ MORE
We never knew you could be ‘unsportsmanlike’ with a water bottle
Source @GoodNewsCorres1 Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-09-22--Whatever happens in the election, Joe Biden wins the prize for the best campaign ad

Donald Trump spends a lot of time talking about his presidential rival , Joe Biden , dubbing him “ Sleepy @ @ @ @ @ Joe ” .
We can only presume he needs to fill up the time allotted @ @ @ @ @ .
The problem with that , from Trump ’ s perspective , is that it @ @ @ @ @ with potential material – like this : Here are a few notable reactions to the @ @ @ @ @ t know how the election will go , but Team Biden must have won the @ @ @ @ @ Trump Jr called Joe Biden the ‘ Loch Ness monster of the swamp ’ – @ @ @

Videos
Donald Trump spends a lot of time talking about his presidential rival, Joe Biden, dubbing him “Sleepy Joe” or “Slow Joe”. We can only presume he needs to fill up the time allotted for talking about his triumphs.
The problem with that, from Trump’s perspective, is that it presents the Biden campaign team with potential material – like this:
I’m Joe Biden and I approve this message. pic.twitter.com/TuRZXPE5xK — Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) September 20, 2020
from Andy Samberg GIFs via Gfycat
Here are a few notable reactions to the ad.
Give the people what they want.
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 https://t.co/opVbxCl5oQ — Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) September 20, 2020
I'm sure this is just another @realDonaldTrump lie. But it is funny. https://t.co/xw43728Lbh — Brian J. Karem (@BrianKarem) September 20, 2020
Do we all realize Trump is talking about fleeing the country to avoid prosecution or is it just me? https://t.co/z6dTUe5Nk5 — Neil "HARM TO ONGOING MATTER" Laferty (@guitarviator) September 20, 2020
Yup. 18 hours later this is still my favorite tweet. https://t.co/sfyv0QLX3o — Khashoggi’s Ghost (@UROCKlive1) September 20, 2020
Credit where it’s due.
Standing ovation for the Biden Rapid Response team. https://t.co/8qr5ADbcPc — Hemant Mehta (@hemantmehta) September 20, 2020
We can’t know how the election will go, but Team Biden must have won the Best Ad prize.
READ MORE
Donald Trump Jr called Joe Biden the ‘Loch Ness monster of the swamp’ – 5 monstrous takedowns
Source Joe Biden Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-09-22--Russell Brand was surprised working class people could describe colour and the internet saw red – 11

Russell Brand was surprised working class people could describe colour and the internet saw red – 11 perfect takedowns

Russell Brand is known for the complexity of the words he chooses , in much the same manner as Will @ @ @ @ @ s nothing wrong with that .
On Monday , choice of words – both his @ @ @ @ @ – got him trending on Twitter for hours after tweeting this .
His apparent surprise @ @ @ @ @ be working-class people using the “ poetic ” words ‘ apricot ’ and ‘ cinnamon @ @ @ @ @ Twitter .
Here ’ s what else they had to say about it .
Max @ @ @ @ @ Spiller Of Tea – had this sarcastic plaudit for Mr Brand .
There ’ s @ @ @ @ @ s gorgeous , though , right ?
Such a beautiful caramel colour .

Twitter
Russell Brand is known for the complexity of the words he chooses, in much the same manner as Will Self – and there’s nothing wrong with that.
On Monday, choice of words – both his and other people’s – got him trending on Twitter for hours after tweeting this.
His apparent surprise at what he considered to be working-class people using the “poetic” words ‘apricot’ and ‘cinnamon’ smacked as patronising to Twitter.
Classism writ large. The 'working class' are all illiterate oiks. https://t.co/klQ2UKzoWq — badly-drawn bee 🐝 shut up, grow up, mask up. (@soapachu) September 21, 2020
Here’s what else they had to say about it.
1.
I love Bear. He brings out the beauty in people. Today two incarcerated men independently described him in surprisingly poetic language. "Marmalade" said one. "We're including him in our jailbreak" said another. pic.twitter.com/07Dppzan33 — Gee Aitch Cee (@Scriblit) September 21, 2020
2.
I love Bear. He brings out the beauty in people. Today two working class men independently described him in surprisingly poetic language. “Oi oi saveloy!” said one. “‘Ave a banana!” said another. — Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) September 21, 2020
3.
My guess is that these working class men later described Brand in surprisingly poetic language. ‘Twat’ said one. ‘Bellend’ said another. https://t.co/7rALcwBnAr — Sarfraz Manzoor (@sarfrazmanzoor) September 21, 2020
4.
God, I'm amazed they can even speak let alone be familiar with the contents of a spice rack. — Louis Barfe (@AlanKelloggs) September 21, 2020
5.
Poor people in “knowing colours and foods” shocker https://t.co/JQDiOiWBvU — Megan (@mmegannnolan) September 21, 2020
6.
"… while a third said "Farkin' 'ell mate, that is the most beautiful farkin' dog what I ain't never not seen with my own two mince pies & no mistake." then he threw a can of Special Brew at me & went off to father some more kids & do some manual work." https://t.co/YaTVgHnql5 — Phlegm Clandango (@Cain_Unable) September 21, 2020
7.
A third, munching a jellied eel and putting a ferret down his trousers, said: "In many ways, Bear is the British AOC." https://t.co/zBsXUG9q3S — David Whitley (@mrdavidwhitley) September 21, 2020
8.
Fancy. Working class people using unusual words like ‘apricot’! Whatever next. https://t.co/9MvBPuecbE — Dr Louise Raw (@LouiseRawAuthor) September 21, 2020
9.
amazed they could see so much detail from up on the chimney https://t.co/B46dptDmE5 — future of the (left) (@shit_rock) September 21, 2020
10.
Cor blimey Russell Brand ya dog don’t half look a little apricot it does Guv-a-nor pic.twitter.com/MaaIrDr9LH — Room82 (@Theroom82) September 21, 2020
11.
Well I'll be damned, these working class men used their peepers and their noggins https://t.co/pC6t2MudWh — Ian Ford (@ij_ford) September 21, 2020
Max – also known as @Spiller Of Tea – had this sarcastic plaudit for Mr Brand.
Wow. “My dog is so beautiful he makes paupers know words,” might be the twattiest thing anyone has ever said. Congratulations. https://t.co/ahtD0qkUza — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) September 21, 2020
There’s no doubting that Bear’s gorgeous, though, right? Such a beautiful caramel colour.
READ MORE
Russell Brand mansplained Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s WAP – 12 stunning takedowns
Source Russell Brand Image Screengrab, Russell Brand


thepoke--2020-09-22--Woman have been sharing what they’d do without men for 24 hours and the responses went wildly viral

Over on Twitter someone called Veronica – or @ wxixp – went wildly viral when she shared the answers to @ @ @ @ @ question what they would do if there were no men on earth on 24 hours @ @ @ @ @ and , well , have a read for yourself .
‘ Saw a Tiktok that @ @ @ @ @ do if there were no men on earth for 24 hours .
Here was the @ @ @ @ @ @ wxixp .
But not all men got it .
Some did , though .

Twitter
Over on Twitter someone called Veronica – or @wxixp – went wildly viral when she shared the answers to a TikTok which asked the question what women would do if there were no men on earth on 24 hours.
She shared the answers and it was quite an eye opener (mostly for men, obviously).
‘Saw a Tiktok that said, what would you do if there were no men on earth for 24 hours. Here was the comment section,’ said @wxixp.
But not all men got it.
it’s the fact that I now have to mute this tweet because I’m getting shit from random men for it, like you really missed the point huh — veronica (@wxixp) September 21, 2020
Some did, though.
to the men who see this tweet and have replied back saying very positive & supportive things. Thank you. — veronica (@wxixp) September 21, 2020
And it reminded us of this post a while back when women were asked to imagine a life where men were given a 9pm curfew.
READ MORE
Guy doesn’t understand why women are scared of men and is perfect example why women are scared of men
Source Twitter @wxixp


thepoke--2020-09-22--People dreading another 6 months of lockdown found this doctor’s thread very helpful

Boris Johnson said that his new stricter guidelines to tackle the pandemic may last six months and the way things @ @ @ @ @ like the restrictions are going to last a lot longer than that .
Which makes @ @ @ @ @ even more timely .
And here are just a few of the things people were @ @ @ @

Twitter
Boris Johnson said that his new stricter guidelines to tackle the pandemic may last six months and the way things are going, it feels like the restrictions are going to last a lot longer than that.
Which makes this thread by @ProfAishaAhmad even more timely.
1.
The 6 month mark in any sustained crisis is always difficult. We have all adjusted to this "new normal", but might now feel like we're running out of steam. Yet, at best, we are only 1/3 the way through this marathon. How can we keep going? THREAD /x — Dr Aisha Ahmad (@ProfAishaAhmad) September 20, 2020
2.
First, in my experience, this is a very normal time to struggle or slump. I *always* hit a wall 6 months into a tough assignment in a disaster zone. The desire to “get away” or “make it stop” is intense. I’ve done this many times, and at 6 months, it’s like clockwork. /2 — Dr Aisha Ahmad (@ProfAishaAhmad) September 20, 2020
3.
This time, our crisis is global and there is nowhere to run. That’s OK. I’ve had to power through that 6 month hump before and there is life on the other side. Right now, it feels like we looking ahead at long, dark wintery tunnel. But it’s not going to be like that. /3 — Dr Aisha Ahmad (@ProfAishaAhmad) September 20, 2020
4.
Rather, this is our next major adaptation phase. We’ve already re-learned how to do groceries, host meetings, and even teach classes. And we have found new ways to be happy and have fun. But as the days get shorter and colder, we need to be ready to innovate again. /4 — Dr Aisha Ahmad (@ProfAishaAhmad) September 20, 2020
5.
This is my first pandemic, but not my first 6 month wall. So, what can I share to help you? First, the wall is real and normal. And frankly, it’s not productive to try to ram your head through it. It will break naturally in about 4-6 weeks if you ride it out. /5 — Dr Aisha Ahmad (@ProfAishaAhmad) September 20, 2020
6.
Of course, there are things we have to do. Work. Teach. Cook. Exercise. But just don’t expect to be sparklingly happy or wildly creative in the middle of your wall. Right now, if you can meet you obligations and be kind to your loved ones, you get an A+. /6 — Dr Aisha Ahmad (@ProfAishaAhmad) September 20, 2020
7.
Also, don’t be afraid that your happiness & creativity are gone for the rest of this marathon. Not true. I assure you that it will soon break & you will hit a new stride. But today, roll with it. Clear away less challenging projects. Read a novel. Download that meditation app. /7 — Dr Aisha Ahmad (@ProfAishaAhmad) September 20, 2020
8.
Frankly, even though we cannot physically leave this disaster zone, try to give yourself a mental or figurative “shore leave”. Short mental escapes can offer respite and distance from the everyday struggle. Take more mental “leave” until you clear the wall. /8 — Dr Aisha Ahmad (@ProfAishaAhmad) September 20, 2020
9.
In my experience, this 6 month wall both arrives and dissipates like clockwork. So I don’t fight it anymore. I don’t beat myself up over it. I just know that it will happen & trust that the dip will pass. In the meantime, I try to support my mental & emotional health. /9 — Dr Aisha Ahmad (@ProfAishaAhmad) September 20, 2020
10.
Take heart. We have navigated a harrowing global disaster for 6 months, with resourcefulness & courage. We have already found new ways to live, love, and be happy under these rough conditions. A miracle & a marvel. This is hard proof that we have what it takes to keep going. /10 — Dr Aisha Ahmad (@ProfAishaAhmad) September 20, 2020
11.
So, dear friends, do not despair of the 6 month wall. It’s not permanent, nor will it define you in this period of adversity. Trust that the magic that helped you through the first phase is still there. Take a breath & a pause. You’ll be on the other side in no time. /end ❤🙏🏽 — Dr Aisha Ahmad (@ProfAishaAhmad) September 20, 2020
And here are just a few of the things people were saying about it.
This is helpful 😘😘😘😘 https://t.co/c7AjrxDyxY — Marian Keyes (@MarianKeyes) September 20, 2020
This is enormously helpful today. Thank you. Once I heard the CDC director's vaccine timeline, I started to really feeling weary, concerned, and down. This is a helpful antidote: the way through is through. And it gets better. Thank you. — Jennifer Collard (@JennESCollard) September 20, 2020
I needed this. maybe you do too. https://t.co/xZNF4nug6n — shauna (@goldengateblond) September 22, 2020
Thankyou! I’m really struggling mentally right now and need some reassurance that I/we will get through this. Love & hope to you x — Jules 🌈🧜🏻♀ (@MancJules) September 20, 2020
This thread is helpful https://t.co/0ou6bjCLT6 — Jo Unwin (@jounwin) September 20, 2020
You may need this thread. I'd promised myself I'd have a huge burst of productivity once the kids were back to school and instead I am staring at the wall. I should not be beating myself up for inexplicably failing to knock out a novel and nor should you. https://t.co/3RCdhs2gpK — KJ Charles (@kj_charles) September 22, 2020
This is great – was really feeling stir crazy and cross 2 weeks ago. Just had 4 socially distant days in a caravan at the coast. Walking in the sea, fish &chips and ice-cream and some countryside peace was just what I needed. Feel as if I can battle on again. — Kate Harrison (@kateharrison52) September 20, 2020
This thread is IMMENSELY helpful. You will feel better for reading it. (Thanks @alanmonolith) https://t.co/YphdwNxy5U — Julia Raeside (@JNRaeside) September 22, 2020
Source @ProfAishaAhmed Image Pexels


thepoke--2020-09-22--This photo of a fry-up with PEAS left a very bad taste – only 5 responses you need

Over on Twitter the good people of @ ratemyplatenow – ‘ Want to see what other people are eating ?
@ @ @ @ @ shared a photo of someone ’ s Full English Breakfast .
Nothing unusual with that @ @ @ @ @ Except this Full English Breakfast – shared by someone called Danny R – was overflowing @ @ @ @ @ it got entirely the responses it deserved .
Here are our 9 favourite things people @ @ @ @ @ you can follow @ ratemyplatenow on Twitter here .

Pics
Over on Twitter the good people of @ratemyplatenow – ‘Want to see what other people are eating? Just follow us!’ shared a photo of someone’s Full English Breakfast.
Nothing unusual with that, you might think. Except this Full English Breakfast – shared by someone called Danny R – was overflowing. With PEAS.
Fry-up to start the day by Danny R pic.twitter.com/bj0VsN8POT — Rate My Plate (@ratemyplatenow) September 22, 2020
And it got entirely the responses it deserved. Here are our 9 favourite things people said about it.
Get the peas off the fucking plate. Dear god 😭🤦🏻♀ — Sarah (@SaizydNUFC) September 22, 2020
If anyone knows of Danny’s whereabouts, please don’t approach the sick fucker. A fry up? On what planet is this a fry up? Birdseye tottie waffles! Fuckin peas! Hes even got a dod of mustard at the side the sneaky bassa. https://t.co/ysBEyfaAYo — DMRos (@DavosLan) September 22, 2020
Peas on a fry up? Look, we know we've made a Toast & Jam tea, but there are limits… https://t.co/X7dioyPWaB — Yorkshire Tea (@YorkshireTea) September 22, 2020
I don’t know what’s bothering me the most, the fact there’s PEAS on a brekkie or the blob of what looks like mustard. Get outta town Danny R. Be gone! — Catherine Lawrence (@flossylawrie1) September 22, 2020
If you have peas on a fry up im sorry but you’re a physcopath 😳 https://t.co/agwv1yFObK — Trev UTID 🔰🇾🇪 (@knaggsy097) September 22, 2020
To conclude …
This is blatant trolling. — Dan (@JeSuisUnDan) September 22, 2020
And you can follow @ratemyplatenow on Twitter here.
READ MORE
Gordon Ramsay’s full English breakfast left a bad taste – our 16 favourite responses
Source @ratemyplate


thepoke--2020-09-22--A Tory MP trolled James O’Brien and his 3-letter response was perfect

It began when Conservative MP ( and deputy leader of the European Research Group ) Andrea Jenkyns took to Twitter @ @ @ @ @ a great job Boris Johnson is doing as PM .
And it caught the eye @ @ @ @ @ ’ Brien who had this to say about it .
And it got quite a @ @ @ @ @ people saying things like this .
And O ’ Brien had the perfect last word @ @ @ @ @ to be strictly accurate .
James O ’ Brien ’ s takedown of Boris Johnson @ @ @ @ @ of the schools crisis is perfectly done

Twitter
It began when Conservative MP (and deputy leader of the European Research Group) Andrea Jenkyns took to Twitter to tell everyone just what a great job Boris Johnson is doing as PM.
It is Boris who has delivered on his promises to the British people. Thank God he saved Brexit, got a majority and broke the deadlock. We now have a strong negotiating team that puts Britain's interests ahead of the EUs. https://t.co/4MBMDeDYf6 — Andrea Jenkyns MP (@andreajenkyns) September 21, 2020
And it caught the eye of LBC presenter James O’Brien who had this to say about it.
I cannot recommend this account highly enough. It is genuinely hilarious. A million times better than most so-called 'parodies'. https://t.co/LARn3BP05q — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) September 22, 2020
Jenkyns respond with this …
Oh mister Wokeman, We will continue to take a stand against you and your anti-Britsh, anti-free speech agenda. Socialism is not the answer and time will demonstrate what a real idiot you are! #ProBrexit, #ProBoris, #ProTrump 🇬🇧 https://t.co/9VvWbnaJF3 — Andrea Jenkyns MP (@andreajenkyns) September 22, 2020
And it got quite a lot of attention, with people saying things like this.
Madam, this is a Wendy's https://t.co/W5VRQfhUwX — Steve Peers (@StevePeers) September 22, 2020
https://twitter.com/miffythegamer/status/1308356483860529153?s=20
https://twitter.com/SpillerOfTea/status/1308370153126719493?s=20
And O’Brien had the perfect last word. Well, three letters to be strictly accurate.
Wins our vote.
READ MORE
James O’Brien’s takedown of Boris Johnson taking ‘personal charge’ of the schools crisis is perfectly done
Source @mrjamesob


thepoke--2020-09-22--Pubs will shut at 10pm to help battle the coronavirus – 7 favourite responses

As part of Boris Johnson ’ s strategy to tackle a second wave of the coronavirus , the prime minister @ @ @ @ @ restaurants and the like would have to shut at 10pm .
Pretty much the entire @ @ @ @ @ .
And while you ’ re thinking of an answer to that , or maybe @ @ @ @ @ come up with one , here are our favourite responses The government is telling everyone @ @ @ @ @ – only 7 responses you need

News
As part of Boris Johnson’s strategy to tackle a second wave of the coronavirus, the prime minister announced today that pubs, restaurants and the like would have to shut at 10pm.
JUST IN: U.K. PM Boris Johnson says pubs and restaurants in England must close at 10pm from Thursday in a bid to curb Covid-19 spread pic.twitter.com/OTT0GjxZhV — Bloomberg QuickTake (@QuickTake) September 22, 2020
Pretty much the entire internet asked the same question.
What difference does closing the pubs at 10pm make? Asking for a friend … — Andrew Neil (@afneil) September 21, 2020
And while you’re thinking of an answer to that, or maybe waiting for the government to come up with one, here are our favourite responses
1.
Coronavirus at 9.59pm
vs
Coronavirus at 10.01pm pic.twitter.com/TJzLuahTjP — Dara Ó Briain (@daraobriain) September 22, 2020
2.
10pm pub closing not good enough. People will just go on to house parties. Need a mandatory 10:45pm National Crisis Bedtime. Teeth done by 10:40, light off 10:44. No you can't have a glass of water you should have thought of that before. — Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell) September 21, 2020
3.
Covid turning up at the pub to find it shut at 10 pic.twitter.com/LsMubH7Msx — HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) September 22, 2020
4.
Tbh if this means that New Years Eve finishes at 10pm I’m all for it. — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) September 21, 2020
5.
step away from the gin and tonic pic.twitter.com/iSm9bEY0V4 — Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) September 22, 2020
6.
I can’t think of a more British response to a devastating global pandemic than knocking a mere 60 minutes off pub opening hours, and then hoping for the best. — Matt Rudge (@Mattrudge) September 21, 2020
7.
Only six friends, table service & finished by 10pm.
That’s not fighting a pandemic.
Those are criteria for a middle-aged night out. — Geoff Norcott (@GeoffNorcott) September 22, 2020
To conclude …
After locking down way too late last time and causing a lot of unnecessary deaths I'd assumed the government might have gone for something a little more stringent than "get the shots in at 9" — James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 21, 2020
READ MORE
The government is telling everyone to work from home again – only 7 responses you need
Images Pixabay screengrab


thepoke--2020-09-23--Emily Maitlis’s unfortunate slip-up introducing Alan Johnson is our new favourite TV gaffe

Here ’ s Emily Maitlis introducing former Labour MP and erstwhile home secretary Alan Johnson on Newsnight and , well @ @ @ @ @ yourself .
Our new favourite TV gaffe .
Even better than this moment with Rick @ @ @ @ @ day before which wasn ’ t a gaffe , just … unfortunate .

Videos
Here’s Emily Maitlis introducing former Labour MP and erstwhile home secretary Alan Johnson on Newsnight and, well, have a watch for yourself.
“The former Health Secretary Alan Johnson joins us on the line from Hell. “Sorry, Hull” Hilarious! Forget the Prince Andrew interview, this is what you will be remembered for @Maitlis!#Newsnight pic.twitter.com/oRqwExOcYK — Charlie Proctor (@MonarchyUK) September 22, 2020
Our new favourite TV gaffe. Even better than this moment with Rick Astley on BBC Breakfast the day before which wasn’t a gaffe, just … unfortunate.
I love @MetMattTaylor. Great recovery after being thrown under the bus by Charlie Stayt pic.twitter.com/oQQ1dHVDLb — Greg James (@gregjames) September 22, 2020
READ MORE
Simply 9 times Emily Maitlis was our absolute queen
Source @MonarchyUK


thepoke--2020-09-23--A Somali-born congresswoman had the perfect response to Donald Trump’s racist attack

We should be used to Donald Trump by now , but it still shocks when you hear him say things like this , no matter how many times he ’ s done it before .
Here ’ s the so-called president at an election rally taking aim ( and not for the first time ) at Republican member of Congress , Ilhan Omar .
“ How about Omar of Minnesota ?
We ’ re going to win the state of Minnesota because of her , they say .
She ’ s telling us how to run our country .
How @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ?
How ’ s your country doing ?
She ’ s going to tell us — she ’ s telling us how to run our country.
” Omar , who was born in Somalia , is a US citizen – you have to be to serve in Congress – and is one of the first two Muslim women to serve in Congress and the first to wear the hijab .
There was no shortage of entirely appropriate and on-point responses .
But the best , the very best , came from Ilhan Omar @ @ @ @ @ @ @ tweet than Trump ’ s entire Twitter feed .
They played ‘ In the Air Tonight ’ at a Trump rally and it couldn ’ t have been less appropriate

Twitter
We should be used to Donald Trump by now, but it still shocks when you hear him say things like this, no matter how many times he’s done it before.
Here’s the so-called president at an election rally taking aim (and not for the first time) at Republican member of Congress, Ilhan Omar.
Trump on Ilhan Omar: She’s telling us how to run our country. How did you do where you came from? pic.twitter.com/XLSRZd6yFf — Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) September 22, 2020
“How about Omar of Minnesota? We’re going to win the state of Minnesota because of her, they say. She’s telling us how to run our country. How did you do where you came from? How’s your country doing? She’s going to tell us — she’s telling us how to run our country.”
Omar, who was born in Somalia, is a US citizen – you have to be to serve in Congress – and is one of the first two Muslim women to serve in Congress and the first to wear the hijab.
There was no shortage of entirely appropriate and on-point responses.
It’s her country, too — Devin Nunes’ cow 🐮 (@DevinCow) September 23, 2020
This comment about Ilhan Omar is so vile and racist that the crowd is stunned silent. https://t.co/7OLkgwDtu5 — Tommy Vietor (@TVietor08) September 23, 2020
But the best, the very best, came from Ilhan Omar herself.
Firstly, this is my country & I am a member of the House that impeached you. Secondly, I fled civil war when I was 8. An 8-year-old doesn’t run a country even though you run our country like one. https://t.co/zcKKjdC8ju — Ilhan Omar (@IlhanMN) September 23, 2020
Boom.
More impressive in a single tweet than Trump’s entire Twitter feed.
READ MORE
They played ‘In the Air Tonight’ at a Trump rally and it couldn’t have been less appropriate
Source @Acyn


thepoke--2020-09-23--Allison Pearson said it’s ‘good’ her son got Covid – only 7 responses you need

Over at the Daily Telegraph , columnnist Allison Pearson revealed that her son has caught Covid-19 .
Fear not , because Pearson says this is not a bad thing .
It ’ s actually a good thing .
Of course it is !
We read it so you don ’ t have to ( you can find it here but you ’ ll probably have to pay for it ) and here ’ s just a little bit .
‘ My son has Covid-19 .
Good .
Everyone in his student house has it as well .
Even better … @ @ @ @ @ @ @ On the contrary , I am glad that my boy will now form a tiny tile on the vast human shield which will protect his grandparents and other endangered citizens as our country acquires community immunity .
‘ Apart from a vaccine ( unlikely to show up any time soon ) , allowing Covid to run through the healthy population is the only way out of this loathsome epidemic which kills our old and murders the futures of our youth.
’ And here are our favourite responses to whatever the hell that is @ @ @ @ @ @ @ her son ’ s A-Level results might be her most on-brand column yet

Twitter
Over at the Daily Telegraph, columnnist Allison Pearson revealed that her son has caught Covid-19.
Fear not, because Pearson says this is not a bad thing. It’s actually a good thing. Of course it is!
“My son has Covid-19. Good. Everyone in his student house has it as well. Even better,” writes @allisonpearson https://t.co/YNr73GFp67 — The Telegraph (@Telegraph) September 22, 2020
We read it so you don’t have to (you can find it here but you’ll probably have to pay for it) and here’s just a little bit.
‘My son has Covid-19. Good. Everyone in his student house has it as well. Even better … There is no cause for alarm. On the contrary, I am glad that my boy will now form a tiny tile on the vast human shield which will protect his grandparents and other endangered citizens as our country acquires community immunity. ‘Apart from a vaccine (unlikely to show up any time soon), allowing Covid to run through the healthy population is the only way out of this loathsome epidemic which kills our old and murders the futures of our youth.’
And here are our favourite responses to whatever the hell that is.
1.
how is Britain doing, you ask https://t.co/ozLHm5scIV — Dr. Strategy (tenured, unremovable) (@inthesedeserts) September 22, 2020
2.
There’s a good chance your son or one of his friends will end up with post-Covid autonomic dysfunction. They won’t be able to get up without blacking out. Their life will be forever changed. It happened to me from a different virus, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Still “good”? https://t.co/ve755ntQWG — Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) September 22, 2020
3.
https://twitter.com/SpillerOfTea/status/1308705931623006209?s=20
4.
I’d want to know a little more about the long term effects of a disease before I decided whether I was glad my son got it to be honest. Even then I think I’d come down on the side of “I’d rather my son didn’t have a disease”. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 23, 2020
5.
https://twitter.com/JennyLConstable/status/1308532086731608065?s=20
6.
‘I’m delighted my son have a virus that is increasingly being shown to cause long term heart damage’ is a hell of a fucking article to feel is a good idea to write. — Neville (@1FightingIrish) September 22, 2020
7.
Can see why he’s taking his chances with covid rather than staying at home with mum https://t.co/C5hqETwksh — Liam Thorp (@LiamThorpECHO) September 22, 2020
To conclude …
It’s fair to say some people are holding it together better than others. https://t.co/RqYGhvXRK6 — barney farmer (@barneyfarmer) September 22, 2020
And.
the rumours are true, allison pearson has surpassed herself https://t.co/o9dPI3ZSMz pic.twitter.com/hwfaQV9fjH — Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) September 23, 2020
In four words.
READ MORE
Allison Pearson’s column about her son’s A-Level results might be her most on-brand column yet
Source @Telegraph Image screengrab


thepoke--2020-09-23--This Telegraph journalist interrupted by her cleaner packs an awful lot into 3 seconds

A memorable moment on the BBC ’ s Politics Live programme when the Telegraph ’ s associate editor Camilla Tominey @ @ @ @ @ interrupted by her cleaner .
For a 3-second clip it packs an awful lot of @ @ @ @ @ , that was unfortunate .
This ‘ interrupted TV interview ’ was made even better @ @ @ @ @

Videos
A memorable moment on the BBC’s Politics Live programme when the Telegraph’s associate editor Camilla Tominey’s video call was interrupted by her cleaner.
For a 3-second clip it packs an awful lot of emotion and drama.
Absolutely howling at Camilla Tominey’s cleaner walking in on Politics Live. pic.twitter.com/JTYfWG4Vax — Jacob Clark (@jacobclarktenor) September 22, 2020
Well, that was unfortunate.
The face she gave that poor lady!! — hookedgal (@hookedgal) September 22, 2020
That woman had more PPE than I wear working in ER. — @Busiswa G.#ArchewellArmy ❤🌺🐈💞💚 (@BusiswaGibson) September 22, 2020
READ MORE
This ‘interrupted TV interview’ was made even better by people not getting it
Source @jacobclarktenor


thepoke--2020-09-23--Ultimate (and funniest) proof that cats really will sit anywhere

You don ’ t have to own a cat to know that they really will sit anywhere and on anything @ @ @ @ @ inopportune time ( and place ) .
But we ’ ve never seen evidence quite @ @ @ @ @ – as this picture , shared by Parrot playing peekaboo with cat is 10/10 ( @ @ @ @

Pics
You don’t have to own a cat to know that they really will sit anywhere and on anything, occasionally at the most inopportune time (and place).
But we’ve never seen evidence quite so funny – or convincing – as this picture, shared by @catsdotexe on Twitter.
The bigger picture …
And in close-up.
Purr-fect spot.
If I were getting arrested I would appreciate his support — 🤎酷有趣的家伙Teej🤎 (@lemonpilled) September 22, 2020
DC Tiddles is questioning him now, Sarge. https://t.co/WTl3Tja3PB — Paul (@bingowings14) September 23, 2020
the real cop — chip (@ChipletOutlet) September 22, 2020
this is the single greatest thing I’ve ever seen on this website good day sirs https://t.co/W9eH8Jt58E — Sorcha Ní Nia (@Luiseach) September 23, 2020
READ MORE
Parrot playing peekaboo with cat is 10/10 (sound up!)
Source @catsdotexe


thepoke--2020-09-23--The Great British Bake Off’s back! Simply 23 of the funniest things people said about it

The Great British Bake Off was back on Channel 4 on Tuesday and thank goodness for that .
More than @ @ @ @ @ new batch of bakers tackle what many people reckoned was the funniest showstopper challenge yet @ @ @ @ @ rather brilliant Matt Lucas skit … … and was exactly the funny , feel good @ @ @ @ @ now .
Here are our favourite things people said about it .

Twitter
The Great British Bake Off was back on Channel 4 on Tuesday and thank goodness for that.
Seven million viewers watched the new batch of bakers tackle what many people reckoned was the funniest showstopper challenge yet.
It opened with this rather brilliant Matt Lucas skit …
Welcome to a new series of The Great British Bake Off – and a big hello to our new presenter Matt Lucas! #GBBO pic.twitter.com/0sa8NxTJtE — British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 22, 2020
… and was exactly the funny, feel-good TV the nation needs right now.
Here are our 23 favourite things people said about it.
1.
2.
Me before lockdown v me now #GBBO pic.twitter.com/CegUUVXx7A — Jamie Bolton (@JamieBolton) September 22, 2020
3.
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight #gbbo pic.twitter.com/ZguPFXnImz — Jen Read (@bobskelet0n) September 22, 2020
4.
At the start of 2020 VS the end of 2020 pic.twitter.com/CMDxaDd0QI — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) September 22, 2020
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
laura has made the man from the pringles can #GBBO pic.twitter.com/9ZHONZwKzj — Michael Chakraverty (@mschakraverty) September 22, 2020
10.
That #GBBO showstopper ‘Celebrities Who’ve Drowned And Been Found After Three Days’ round was bold. — Chris Addison (@mrchrisaddison) September 22, 2020
11.


thepoke--2020-09-23--This John Lewis sale item tells the story of one whole year in one simple picture

If ever a picture summed up an entire year , then sure it ’ s this John Lewis sale item @ @ @ @ @ shared on Twitter by @ AmyAbroad .
This year ’ s John Lewis Christmas ad @ @ @ @ @ toughest ever .
Richard Osman asked people to sum up their lockdown in a movie @ @ @ @

Pics
If ever a picture summed up an entire year, then sure it’s this John Lewis sale item taken by Karen Fowler and shared on Twitter by @AmyAbroad.
Absolutely nailed it.
The story of one whole year in one simple picture. The photographer is Legend. — LaForge (@project_forge) September 22, 2020
This year’s John Lewis Christmas ad is going to be the toughest ever.
READ MORE
Richard Osman asked people to sum up their lockdown in a movie title – 17 favourites
Source @AmyAbroad @KayJay175


thepoke--2020-09-23--Whoever did today’s Daily Star front page about Boris Johnson’s Covid ‘master plan’, give yourself a

Whoever did today’s Daily Star front page about Boris Johnson’s Covid ‘master plan’, give yourself a pay rise

Nine months into the year and 2020 continues to surprise , one of them being how the Daily Star appears @ @ @ @ @ voice of the nation .
That might be slightly overdoing it , but they ’ @ @ @ @ @ pages about the Cover crisis and the government ’ s response , and today ’ @ @ @ @ @ top drawer .
‘ The Star is going to become Britain ’ s fastest growing @ @ @ @ @ , ’ said @ liamyoung over on Twitter .
And he wasn ’ t the @ @ @ @ @ it .
Whoever did today ’ s Daily Star front page , take the rest @ @ @ @

Pics
Nine months into the year and 2020 continues to surprise, one of them being how the Daily Star appears to be evolving into the voice of the nation.
That might be slightly overdoing it, but they’ve had some fabulous front pages about the Cover crisis and the government’s response, and today’s effort is in the top drawer.
‘The Star is going to become Britain’s fastest growing newspaper at this rate 😂,’ said @liamyoung over on Twitter.
And he wasn’t the only fan. Far from it.
The Daily Star now regularly absolutely bodying the government is a really fascinating development pic.twitter.com/VmB4QMJOM2 — Adam Payne (@adampayne26) September 22, 2020
No idea why the Daily Star has become Viz’s idea of a tabloid mixed with That Angry Guy On Twitter Shouting About Covid but it’s become a sight to behold. https://t.co/FJ8bsgqOdC — Jim Waterson (@jimwaterson) September 22, 2020
Daily Star once again nailing their front page pic.twitter.com/DqDswPGIue — Jeremy Banning (@jbanningww1) September 23, 2020
The Daily Star is really excelling itself with its front pages these days. pic.twitter.com/2tLhEaJsbz — Mark Cockerton (@CockertonMark) September 22, 2020
World turned upside down when the Daily Star has more of a critique of the Government than the broadsheets pic.twitter.com/QPmYCmo1nv — Helen Watson (@Watson4Helen) September 23, 2020
READ MORE
Whoever did today’s Daily Star front page, take the rest of the week off
Source @liamyoung


thepoke--2020-09-23--They played ‘In the Air Tonight’ at a Trump rally and it couldn’t have been less appropriate

As the race for the White House nears the final strait , the incumbent seems more and more determined to make sure he gets to keep that all-important seat in the Oval Office .
Unfortunately , that means that the Trump faithful have rallies to attend , like this one in Pennsylvania on Tuesday .
Not many masks in sight .
White House reporter , Josh Wingrove , shared this shot once the crowds had got in .
On the list of “ songs it ’ s best not to dwell on during a pandemic ” , known anti-Trumper Phil @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Air Tonight ’ has to be up there in the top five .
“ I can feel it coming in the air tonight , oh Lord.
” They can probably breathe it as well .
Mind you , it also says “ Well , I was there and I saw what you did , I saw it with my own two eyes So you can wipe off that grin , I know where you ’ ve been It ’ s all been a pack of lies.
” so perhaps it is appropriate after @ @ @ @ @ @ @ had to say about it .
Let ’ s all just enjoy the song while we wait for the Phil Collins lawsuit .
Donald Trump was just trolled by the music at his own rally and it ’ s perfect

Weird World
As the race for the White House nears the final strait, the incumbent seems more and more determined to make sure he gets to keep that all-important seat in the Oval Office.
Unfortunately, that means that the Trump faithful have rallies to attend, like this one in Pennsylvania on Tuesday.
Imagine trying to contract trace in the likely event people at this event test positive for coronavirus pic.twitter.com/ODKfwqyieW — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 22, 2020
Long line of supporters waiting hours ahead of President Trump’s Pittsburgh rally tonight pic.twitter.com/GdvhWkYv6K — Will Steakin (@wsteaks) September 22, 2020
Not many masks in sight.
White House reporter, Josh Wingrove, shared this shot once the crowds had got in.
The president's Pittsburgh rally crowd. pic.twitter.com/dbwbn4OFYm — Josh Wingrove (@josh_wingrove) September 22, 2020
On the list of “songs it’s best not to dwell on during a pandemic”, known anti-Trumper Phil Collins‘ absolute banger ‘In The Air Tonight’ has to be up there in the top five.
“I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord.”
They can probably breathe it as well.
Mind you, it also says
“Well, I was there and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you’ve been
It’s all been a pack of lies.”
so perhaps it is appropriate after all.
Here’s what people had to say about it.
1.
Are they seriously playing ***IN THE AIR TONIGHT*** at coronavirus-era rally? https://t.co/gyfD4gye54 — Kayla Epstein 📰 (@KaylaEpstein) September 22, 2020
2.
Omg. You've gotta admit, they are masterclass trolls. — Joseph Goulette (@JosephGoulette) September 22, 2020
3.
4.
How did they know COVID-19's favorite song? https://t.co/86HZhNEHrZ — Nick Vucic (@npv708) September 22, 2020
5.
UP NEXT: "Let the bodies hit the floor." https://t.co/nYov0Dboey — Markus Unread (@MarkusUnread) September 23, 2020
6.
As opposed to what, 'Living on a prayer"? https://t.co/siL8wVUat0 — Mark Henderson (@henderson_mark) September 23, 2020
Dr. Amanda G. Sanford had this assessment.
We're either living in the middle of the greatest satire of human stupidity ever written, or we're just … done as a species. https://t.co/7pvtIlICKQ — Dr. Amanda G. Sanford (@mandagaielle) September 23, 2020
Let’s all just enjoy the song while we wait for the Phil Collins lawsuit.
READ MORE
Donald Trump was just trolled by the music at his own rally and it’s perfect
Source Josh Wingrove Image Josh Wingrove


thepoke--2020-09-23--Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had to tear his gate out of the wall – but Ryan Reynolds’ reaction was an

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had to tear his gate out of the wall – but Ryan Reynolds’ reaction was an even better takedown

When Dwayne Johnson – also known as The Rock – couldn ’ t get off his property because a power cut had jammed his electric gate , he dealt with it as few people could .
Here ’ s what he posted to Instagram .
“ Not my finest hour 🤦🏽♂ , but a man ’ s got ta go to work .
We experienced a power outage due to severe storms , causing my front gate not to open .
I tried to override the hydraulic system to open the gates , which usually works when power goes out @ @ @ @ @ @ @ t .
Made some calls to see how fast I can get the gate tech on site , but I didn ’ t have 45min to wait .
By this time , I know I have hundreds of production crew members waiting for me to come to work so we can start our day .
So I did what I had to do .
I pushed , pulled and ripped the gate completely off myself .
Tore it out of the brick wall , severed the steel hydraulics and threw it on the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to meet the gate technician and welders about an hour later — and they were apparently , “ in disbelief and equally scared ” 🤣 Not my finest hour , but I had to go to work .
And I think I ’ m 💯 ready to be # blackadam 😄💪🏾 # ripgates ” And this is the evidence .
There was even footage of the aftermath .
That ’ s impressive – and probably very expensive – but Ryan Reynolds ’ witty response was a very different kind of impressive .
Perhaps @ @ @ @ @ @ @ previous exchange about The Rock ’ s upcoming superhero – or rather ‘ super-anti-hero ’ film , ‘ Black Adam ’ .
There ’ s no spoiler alert here .
We have no idea whether Ryan Reynolds is in the film or not .
We suspect not .
We also suspect this isn ’ t the last good-natured banter to pass between these two .
This congratulatory message to Joker for beating Deadpool is peak Ryan Reynolds

Popular
When Dwayne Johnson – also known as The Rock – couldn’t get off his property because a power cut had jammed his electric gate, he dealt with it as few people could.
Here’s what he posted to Instagram.
“Not my finest hour 🤦🏽♂, but a man’s gotta go to work.
We experienced a power outage due to severe storms, causing my front gate not to open.
I tried to override the hydraulic system to open the gates, which usually works when power goes out – but this time it wouldn’t.
Made some calls to see how fast I can get the gate tech on site, but I didn’t have 45min to wait.
By this time, I know I have hundreds of production crew members waiting for me to come to work so we can start our day.
So I did what I had to do.
I pushed, pulled and ripped the gate completely off myself.
Tore it out of the brick wall, severed the steel hydraulics and threw it on the grass.
My security team was able to meet the gate technician and welders about an hour later — and they were apparently, “in disbelief and equally scared” 🤣
Not my finest hour, but I had to go to work.
And I think I’m 💯 ready to be #blackadam 😄💪🏾
#ripgates”
And this is the evidence.
There was even footage of the aftermath.
That’s impressive – and probably very expensive – but Ryan Reynolds’ witty response was a very different kind of impressive.
Perhaps the hilarious putdown was payback for this previous exchange about The Rock’s upcoming superhero – or rather ‘super-anti-hero’ film, ‘Black Adam’.
I’m not playing Hawkman in Black Adam. Although I generally do whatever the hell @TheRock tells me to do. I would however love to be in Zack Snyder’s Justice League movie and I’ve heard I may already be in it? #SnyderCut — Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 4, 2020
You ARE playing Hawkman and that’s that. You’re also Deadpool, Green Lantern (when you want because you own the intellectual property), you’re in the Zack Snyder JL movie and you’re also @KevinHart4real’s dad. Like in real life, as per your blood test. — Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) August 4, 2020
There’s no spoiler alert here. We have no idea whether Ryan Reynolds is in the film or not. We suspect not.
We also suspect this isn’t the last good-natured banter to pass between these two.
READ MORE
This congratulatory message to Joker for beating Deadpool is peak Ryan Reynolds
Source Dwayne Johnson Image Dwayne Johnson, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-09-23--Matt Lucas began his Bake Off career with this hilarious Boris Johnson parody

In case you didn ’ t know , Sandi Toksvig has left the British Bake Off team and been replaced @ @ @ @ @ first episode , on Tuesday evening , had been set to clash with Boris Johnson @ @ @ @ @ nation , but anyone tuning in to the cookery competition could have been forgiven for @ @ @ @ @ the wrong channel .
Now , let ’ s see if Boris Johnson can sensitively @ @ @ @ @ support a panicking baker through the last five minutes of creating their showstopper .
Inevitably @ @ @ @ @ kind to the PM .
This Matt Lucas takedown of Boris Johnson has gone viral @ @ @ @ @ ’ s even more relevant now

Videos
In case you didn’t know, Sandi Toksvig has left the British Bake Off team and been replaced with Matt Lucas.
His first episode, on Tuesday evening, had been set to clash with Boris Johnson‘s address to the nation, but anyone tuning in to the cookery competition could have been forgiven for thinking they’d chosen the wrong channel.
Welcome to a new series of The Great British Bake Off – and a big hello to our new presenter Matt Lucas! #GBBO pic.twitter.com/0sa8NxTJtE — British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) September 22, 2020
Now, let’s see if Boris Johnson can sensitively, and with humour, support a panicking baker through the last five minutes of creating their showstopper.
Viewers were impressed.
I’ve been really looking forward to seeing @RealMattLucas on Bake Off, but opening with this long Boris Johnson impression is a bold move even for him. — Chris Addison (@mrchrisaddison) September 22, 2020
How genius is this though!???? 😂😂😂 https://t.co/4JVqKXDFRG — |AndysDiaryy The Gif King| (@AndysDiaryy) September 22, 2020
What an opening to the Great British Bake Off and a sensational impression of Boris from @RealMattLucas! #GBBOpic.twitter.com/bYDVJxgJ0B — Ed Bottomley (@EdBottomley) September 22, 2020
I could watch Matt Lucas doing Boris Johnson impersonations for the rest of 2020. In fact, it may be the only thing that gets me through 2020. — Hallie Rubenhold (@HallieRubenhold) September 22, 2020
Inevitably, the comparisons were not kind to the PM.
It really says something when Matt Lucas’ parody of Boris Johnson is more informative than the real thing. Awkward. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/mVZUp2lo7E — Prince Charles (@Charles_HRH) September 22, 2020
Stay alert. Protect cake. Save loaves.
READ MORE
This Matt Lucas takedown of Boris Johnson has gone viral all over again because it’s even more relevant now
Source British Bake Off Image British Bake Off


thepoke--2020-09-23--All the funniest responses to the key points from Boris Johnson’s coronavirus briefing

On Tuesday evening , Boris Johnson addressed the nation to update everyone on the new coronavirus rules , as well @ @ @ @ @ the UK faces .
Never has the word “ briefing ” been more accurate , @ @ @ @ @ eight minutes .
However , it was these other parts of the address that drew @ @ @ @ @ country succeeded against the coronavirus in March Too many people have breached the rules Pubs @ @ @ @ @ 10pm

News
On Tuesday evening, Boris Johnson addressed the nation to update everyone on the new coronavirus rules, as well as to explain the situation the UK faces.
Never has the word “briefing” been more accurate, as he spoke for barely eight minutes.
Some key points included:
Break the rules and there’ll be bigger fines. Stop being a selfish pr*ck (paraphrasing). If people don’t do as they’re told, the government may send in the army.
However, it was these other parts of the address that drew the biggest reaction.
The country succeeded against the coronavirus in March
'I know that we can succeeded as we succeeded before, in March' says Johnson, despite 40k deaths. I'm terrified to see what failure would've looked like though he'd probably class it as a win as long as one person was left standing, so they could be told to go back to work. — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) September 22, 2020
Boris Johnson: ‘We followed the guidance to the letter’ ‘I know we can succeed because we succeeded before’ ‘There are great days ahead’ Translation: This disaster and tragedy was nothing to do with me, my ministers or my Government — Paul Johnson (@paul__johnson) September 22, 2020
Too many people have breached the rules
Love to be told off for rulebreaking by a government that said flooring the coronavirus up to Durham is just being a good dad — James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 22, 2020
Boris Johnson is right. There’s nothing the public hate more than people who brazenly defy the rules. pic.twitter.com/86hzOGYQM2 — David Schneider (@davidschneider) September 22, 2020
"Sadly, too many people have been breaking the rules by swimming directly at the shark…" pic.twitter.com/dZIQ15vUB9 — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) September 22, 2020
Our single greatest weapon is common sense
"Our greatest weapon is the common sense of the British people"
That's it then, we're fucked. #covidbriefing — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) September 22, 2020
My favourite bit was when Boris said the public needs to use common sense cos that’s what they kept saying to defend Cummings (“he was just using his common sense!” ) Hahahahaha I hate this government — Rosie Holt (@RosieisaHolt) September 22, 2020
“So Boris said we could all rely on good old British common sense. What did Boris say, Roy?” “I’m sending in the troops” pic.twitter.com/AL2nbfl7sa — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) September 22, 2020
Boris Johnson: Our single greatest weapon against this virus is common sense. British people phoned the fire brigade when KFC ran out of chicken — joe heenan (@joeheenan) September 22, 2020
Pubs and bars will close at 10pm
Everyone over 40 reacting to the 10pm curfew pic.twitter.com/3VIl3l4qOA — Sathnam Sanghera (@Sathnam) September 22, 2020
The whole of the U.K. at midnight on New Year’s Eve when pubs & bars are closed at 10pm & all house party’s are cancelled pic.twitter.com/dP8zCvcBkR — Aaron Bumby (@Aaron_Bumby) September 22, 2020


thepoke--2020-09-23--An ‘internal border’ will be created in Kent to stop post-Brexit lorry chaos – 17 favourite response

An ‘internal border’ will be created in Kent to stop post-Brexit lorry chaos – 17 favourite responses

In non-pandemic news today , the government announced plans to create an ‘ internal border ’ in Kent to help @ @ @ @ @ and two-day delays to cross the channel , post-Brexit .
Michael Gove said lorry drivers @ @ @ @ @ access permit ’ to get into the county , creating a de-facto Brexit border between @ @ @ @ @ the UK .
Just in case you think this can ’ t possibly be happening @ @ @ @ @ about it .
Extraordinary times !
It prompted quite a response , as you might @ @ @ @ @ our 17 favourite responses .

News
In non-pandemic news today, the government announced plans to create an ‘internal border’ in Kent to help prevent 7,000 long lorry queues and two-day delays to cross the channel, post-Brexit.
Michael Gove said lorry drivers would require a ‘Kent access permit’ to get into the county, creating a de-facto Brexit border between Kent and the rest of the UK.
NEW Gove confirms a de facto internal border in Kent – rephrasing previous tweet (this is something transport industry been v worried about) Truckers will have to have a “Kent Access Permit” to get into the county says Gove. It will use police and ANPR to enforce — lisa o’carroll (@lisaocarroll) September 23, 2020
Just in case you think this can’t possibly be happening, here he is talking about it.
Michael Gove confirms an internal border in Kent. Hauliers will need to have a “Kent access permit.” pic.twitter.com/6YSwuLSZul — Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 (@Haggis_UK) September 23, 2020
Extraordinary times! It prompted quite a response, as you might imagine, and here are our 17 favourite responses.
1.
So in order for Britain to leave the EU, Kent will have to leave Britain. This is an amazing plot twist. — Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) September 23, 2020
2.
Saddest thing about this is that Kent actually has a Deal. https://t.co/mtvhjcKr2V — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) September 23, 2020
3.
Kent voted heavily in favour of leaving the EU and now it's basically a French car park. Tremendous. — Dai Lama (@WelshDalaiLama) September 23, 2020
4.
Farage having to become an asylum seeker to get into the UK from Kent is maybe the most logical outcome to all this. — Nish Kumar (@MrNishKumar) September 23, 2020
5.
Let's build a wall around Kent! A big beautiful wall! And make Sussex pay for it! — Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) September 23, 2020
6.
7.
If you own a toilet near a road on the way to Kent, this could be a chance to make some serious money. — Sam Lowe (@SamuelMarcLowe) September 23, 2020
8.
2016:
Brexit will improve your lives 2020:
You’ll need a permit to access Kent https://t.co/yK3Reqphra — James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 23, 2020
9.


thepoke--2020-09-23--This American politician’s takedown of Donald Trump’s racist attack was 10/10


thepoke--2020-09-24--Ryan Reynolds just won Twitter with this brilliant tweet to a fan in Wrexham

As you ’ ve probably seen in the news , Ryan Reynolds is bidding to buy Wrexham FC with his @ @ @ @ @ McElhenney .
It ’ s our favourite news story of the day , week , @ @ @ @ @ and just when you thought it couldn ’ t get any better , this happened @ @ @ @ @ tweet that Reynolds sent to a fan today after news broke of the pair ’ @ @ @ @ @ football club .
And to understand the back story of what he was talking about @ @ @ @ @ back eight years , obviously .
Stick with it , coz it ’ s brilliant @ @ @ @ @ wondering if lightning might strike twice .
No harm in trying … Dwayne “ The @ @ @ @ @ tear his gate out of the wall – but Ryan Reynolds ’ reaction was an @ @ @

Twitter
As you’ve probably seen in the news, Ryan Reynolds is bidding to buy Wrexham FC with his fellow Hollywood star, Rob McElhenney.
It’s our favourite news story of the day, week, and probably the year, and just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, this happened.
It’s a tweet that Reynolds sent to a fan after news broke of the pair’s bid for the lowly Welsh football club on Wednesday.
I’ve waited 8 years to respond to this tweet. — Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 23, 2020
And to understand the back story of what he was talking about, we have to go back eight years, obviously, to this everyday exchange @loismorus was having with a mate on Twitter.. Stick with it, coz it’s brilliant.
Hate Ethnomusicology already… — Lois Morus (@loismorus) October 9, 2012
@lois1293 me too, it's a real bitch — Shannon May (@Catontheshed) October 9, 2012
@lois1293 certainly is, I was drawing a naked man for an hour today #awkwardnakedtuesday haha — Shannon May (@Catontheshed) October 9, 2012
@Catontheshed wowww. That does sound fun. Was he fit? 😉 — Lois Morus (@loismorus) October 9, 2012
@lois1293 No, he was middle aged, mid 40's I'd say. Making drawing him less fun. I wouldn't mind if it was Ryan Reynolds though 😉 #dreamon — Shannon May (@Catontheshed) October 9, 2012
@Catontheshed oh no, that does sound bad :/ I would have taken the course if Ryan Reynolds was the model #iwish — Lois Morus (@loismorus) October 9, 2012
@lois1293 ill let you know if he turns up for our #awkwardnakedtuesdays 😉 — Shannon May (@Catontheshed) October 9, 2012
@Catontheshed tidyy 😉 you never know when Ryan Reynolds is going to turn up in Wrexham 😉 — Lois Morus (@loismorus) October 9, 2012
Cut back to Reynolds in the present day …
BOOM! ]
The eight-year wait was well worth it. And it got people wondering if lightning might strike twice.
You never know when @VancityReynolds is going to come to Glasgow and pay for my drinks all night. — stephen hamilton (@1881Stephen) September 23, 2020
Also a possibility. — Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 23, 2020
No harm in trying …
READ MORE
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had to tear his gate out of the wall – but Ryan Reynolds’ reaction was an even better takedown
Source @VancityReynolds Image YouTube screengrab


thepoke--2020-09-24--This covidiot house party guy is the runaway winner of facepalm of the week

You ’ ll have to keep watching but this covidiot ’ s line of reasoning in this TV news report @ @ @ @ @ A shop owner had the perfect takedown of the anti-masker who left a terrible review

Videos
You’ll have to keep watching but this covidiot’s line of reasoning in this TV news report is simply jaw dropping.
Significant plot twist to this house party breaking Corona rules pic.twitter.com/Z6r5NYQvvn — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) September 24, 2020
Just extraordinary.
What hope is there for mankind? https://t.co/oq1H5THcmV — Edwin McGreal (@edmcgreal) September 23, 2020
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu [draws breath] uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu — Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) September 24, 2020
READ MORE
A shop owner had the perfect takedown of the anti-masker who left a terrible review
H/T @TobyonTV Source @Jarlath


thepoke--2020-09-24--Donald Trump refused to commit to a peaceful transition of power – only 7 responses you need

Just over six weeks to go until the US elections and Donald Trump , whose been busy casting doubt on @ @ @ @ @ , was asked if he ’ d commit to a peaceful transition of power .
@ @ @ @ @ for Trump , was outrageous .
Here ’ s exactly what people made of that @ @ @ @ @ thread , which is worth reading in full .
This American politician ’ s takedown @ @ @ @ @ racist attack was 10/10

News
Just over six weeks to go until the US elections and Donald Trump, who’s been busy casting doubt on the legitimacy of postal voting, was asked if he’d commit to a peaceful transition of power.
And his answer, even for Trump, was outrageous.
Reporter: “Win, lose or draw in this election, will you commit here today for a peaceful transferal of power after the election?” President Trump: “We’re going to have to see what happens.” pic.twitter.com/h5RF3dKPD1 — NBC News (@NBCNews) September 23, 2020
Here’s exactly what people made of that.
1.
This is how democracy dies. A president so desperate to cling to power that he won’t commit to a peaceful transition of power. That he seeks to throw out millions of votes. And a Republican Party too craven to say a word. But we will fight back. America belongs to the people. https://t.co/mIVjh78Xk9 — Adam Schiff (@RepAdamSchiff) September 24, 2020
2.
OK this is real bad tho https://t.co/7K9sLEFkQX — Nate Silver (@NateSilver538) September 23, 2020
3.
This answer from a US President, on its own, is an impeachable offense. Our republic is collapsing around us. Wake the fuck up. https://t.co/WphOwLE3bN — David Simon (@AoDespair) September 24, 2020
4.
He’s trying to cheat because he’s losing. He’s trying to stop us from voting because he’s losing. He’s trying to make us afraid because he’s losing. We beat him by showing up in record numbers. https://t.co/iai5MrH1mV — Jon Favreau (@jonfavs) September 23, 2020
5.
why is he kind of being given a choice? idk thats just confusing to me https://t.co/SNSpiB3B5p — quinta brunson (@quintabrunson) September 23, 2020
6.
This is possibly the most frightening 54 seconds of the Trump presidency. https://t.co/BBC7Zn4BXh — Jim Roberts (@nycjim) September 23, 2020
7.
I don’t know how parts of the press can think the most important bit of a press conference in which Trump explicitly warned he is ending democracy in America is the bit where he slagged off Meghan Markle. Like in 1939 leading with Hitler’s opinion on Charlie Chaplin. — Matt Haig (@matthaig1) September 24, 2020
There was also this thread, which is worth reading in full.
THREAD. It is important to take note and be prepared for the unprecedented actions Trump says he intends to take after the election. But it is also important not to allow his *wishful* reality to *become the reality. To do that, consider Trump's psychological POV right now: https://t.co/faXkQw2BMn — Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) September 24, 2020
2. Every time Trump spouts this kind of garbage, he is revealing that he is TERRIFIED. Ab. So. Lute. Ly. Terrified. His **existential** fear is losing. And he knows that there is a very good chance he is going to lose. And he can’t do a damn thing about it. He will be a LOSER. — Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) September 24, 2020
3. Remember that in pretty much every instance Trump has faced like this in the past, he’s had an exit strategy. He walks away. But he can’t get out of the election. He’s like a mail-order bride who has to go through with it. Except in his case, if he loses, he may end up in jail — Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) September 24, 2020
4. This situation is like the coronavirus. He understands the reality, he knows he can’t escape it, so his only option is to create an alternate reality. Reality, however, caught up with him with COVID. So it is up to YOU to make sure the same happens with the election. — Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) September 24, 2020
5. I and @davidashimer wrote about various possibilities in this piece. An important way to empower ourselves, in addition to VOTING, is for commentators and media to manage expectations. https://t.co/l3OPwkvKS9 — Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) September 24, 2020
6. To wit: We have a process in place for elections. That process will be followed, whether he likes it or not. Every vote will be counted. Due to the high volume of mail-in votes, there will be delay in reaching a final result, which is proof that our process is WORKING. — Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) September 24, 2020
7. Empirical research shows that lies travel faster than the truth, especially on social media. Therefore, the previous tweet needs to saturate the information space, by everyone, starting NOW. Also, we WILL have a peaceful transfer of power, as we have for 231 years. Pass it on. — Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) September 24, 2020
8. Finally, this is a government of the people, by the people, for the people. As long as the Constitution exists, we have peaceful means to resolve disputes — like our judiciary — and our voice. We retain the power of peaceful protest. — Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) September 24, 2020
9. In short, this thread is a reminder that what Trump *says* is NOT a fait accompli. His goal is, as @RepSwalwell said in our #JusticeLeague event tonight, to sap you of hope. He does not have the power to do that. Don’t let him. He is weak, and afraid. You are not. — Asha Rangappa (@AshaRangappa_) September 24, 2020
READ MORE
This American politician’s takedown of Donald Trump’s racist attack was 10/10
Source @NBCNews


thepoke--2020-09-24--James O’Brien wins comeback of the day

James O’Brien wins comeback of the day

To Twitter – sticks with us – where LBC was doing its bit promoting the morning show presented by James @ @ @ @ @ everyone was excited by it , though .
In particular , this person .
And @ @ @ @ @ response was very satisfying indeed .
A Tory MP trolled James O ’ Brien and @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
To Twitter – sticks with us – where LBC was doing its bit promoting the morning show presented by James O’Brien.
Not everyone was excited by it, though. In particular, this person.
And O’Brien’s response was very satisfying indeed.
Boom.
*chefs kiss* — James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 24, 2020
READ MORE
A Tory MP trolled James O’Brien and his 3-letter response was perfect
Source Twitter @mrjamesob


thepoke--2020-09-24--A Covid Christmas, pubs and the Rule of Six – 11 funny posts about the pandemic

We hope you ’ ve all got your heads around the new rules and are ready to stitch nine – @ @ @ @ @ Twitter , people have been wondering about a Covid Christmas , vaccines and the Rule @ @ @ @ @ things .
These are our favourite musings .
Finally , TikToker @ rocksteadyeddie found the @ @ @ @ @ faith in the public ’ s common sense .
Our 13 favourite funny takes on @ @ @ @

Twitter
We hope you’ve all got your heads around the new rules and are ready to stitch nine – or whatever. Over on Twitter, people have been wondering about a Covid Christmas, vaccines and the Rule of Six, amongst other things.
These are our favourite musings.
1.
christmas day. dad hands you a present. it certainly *feels* like AstraZeneca's ChAdOx1 nCoV-19 vaccine. heart pounding, you unwrap it. out falls the Moderna mRNA-1273 injection. the blood drains from your face. "just like you wanted!", says dad. you nod, fighting back the tears. — alex kealy (@alexkealy) September 21, 2020
2.
“Two weeks of national lockdown? Who ordered the two weeks of national lockdown?” pic.twitter.com/0eRetSbtyU — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) September 20, 2020
3.
if you’d told me six months ago that we’d be in the same place six months later because this government paid Deloitte and Serco millions for a testing and tracing system that doesn’t work, headed by one of their mates, i’d probably be like…. sounds about right — Hettie O'Brien (@hettieveronica) September 21, 2020
4.
Tories: "It's your patriotic duty to go the pub"
"Ok"
"Why would you do that?!"
"What"
"We've made restaurants cheaper we have to save the economy!"
"Ok"
"Can't believe you people would go to restaurants"
"What?!"
"You have to go back to the office"
"ok"
"This is all your fault" — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) September 20, 2020
5.
I hope they find a vaccine soon.
I genuinely can't take another 6 months of listening to my son talk about Minecraft — joe heenan (@joeheenan) September 23, 2020
6.
Stop! Are your teens texting about Coronavirus? wyd: watch your distance
Lmao: leave mask across orifices
Wap: waiting a PCR
Lol: lines outside Lidl
Wtf: why testing failure
Ttyl: tier (2) test you later
WTF: Wash those fingers — Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) September 23, 2020
7.
8.
Why 'Covid marshall' and not 'lovely re: two metre maid'? — The Original Twitflup! (@TheRealFlups) September 21, 2020
9.
A parents greatest fear. 2019: My child might be kidnapped. 2020: They might innocently cough once in school and be sent home for 14 days 😱😱😱😱😱😱 — Neil Friday McGourty (@Mcgourty22N) September 21, 2020
10.
Only six friends, table service & finished by 10pm.
That’s not fighting a pandemic.
Those are criteria for a middle-aged night out. — Geoff Norcott (@GeoffNorcott) September 22, 2020
11.
10pm pub closing not good enough. People will just go on to house parties. Need a mandatory 10:45pm National Crisis Bedtime. Teeth done by 10:40, light off 10:44. No you can't have a glass of water you should have thought of that before. — Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell) September 21, 2020
Finally, TikToker @rocksteadyeddie found the perfect way to express his faith in the public’s common sense.
READ MORE
Our 13 favourite funny takes on the latest coronavirus news
Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-09-24--This dad being ‘helped’ by his son out of a ditch is a lovely watch

This video of a dad being ‘ helped ’ out of a ditch by his son is just the content @ @ @ @ @ Wholesome dad , ’ said Dawn__Amber__ who shared it over on Reddit .
And just @ @ @ @ @ it prompted .
‘ JUST HOLD THE FUCKIN FLASHLIGHT GOD DAMN IT was the closest @ @ @ @ @ like 10 .
He always felt terrible afterwards and told me how much he appreciated @ @ @ @ @ time with him and helping him though .
And as I got older I could @ @ @ @ @ ‘ All fun and games until the dad floors it.
’ ZepplenLives This video of @ @ @ @ @ river is surely the oddest thing we ’ ll see today

Videos
This video of a dad being ‘helped’ out of a ditch by his son is just the content we needed today.
‘Wholesome dad,’ said Dawn__Amber__ who shared it over on Reddit.
And just a few of the comments it prompted.
‘That’s adorable.’ CaptainKona ‘Kids like feeling helpful.’ JamMasterKay ‘JUST HOLD THE FUCKIN FLASHLIGHT GOD DAMN IT was the closest I got until I was like 10. He always felt terrible afterwards and told me how much he appreciated that I want to spend time with him and helping him though. And as I got older I could be more helpful.’ benjocaz ‘All fun and games until the dad floors it.’ ZepplenLives
READ MORE
This video of a moose running across a river is surely the oddest thing we’ll see today
Source Reddit u/__Dawn__Amber__


thepoke--2020-09-24--‘Maybe I’m sick but I can’t stop laughing’

‘ Maybe I ’ m sick but I can ’ t stop laughing 😂 , ’ says thewickednoodle over on @ @ @ @ @ did anybody answer the original question ?
I may want to buy a pot from @ @ @ @ @ the fava beans.
’ pinniped1

‘Maybe I’m sick but I can’t stop laughing 😂,’ says thewickednoodle over on Reddit.
‘Well … did anybody answer the original question? I may want to buy a pot from the same brand to handle the fava beans.’ pinniped1


thepoke--2020-09-24--A shop owner had the perfect takedown of the anti-masker who left a terrible review

This response to a bad review , shared by u/ilikeyourchords on Reddit , shows exactly why the subreddit is called r/QuitYourBullshit .
This is the one-star review left by a disgruntled customer .
And this is the comprehensive and robust response .
Let ’ s have a look at their main points .
You and your friend both came into our store without masks on despite the fact that it is posted on the door that masks are mandatory .
We asked you nicely if you could put a mask on and you said no .
We then asked if @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to wear and you said no .
We then asked you to leave and you resisted .
Is it really bad customer service to ask you to wear a mask in our store or to go elsewhere ?
Writing a nasty review on every source you can find will not stop us from protecting what is important to us .
We wear masks for 8 hours straight to protect people .
It doesn ’ t seem like asking you to wear one while you are in our store is to much to ask @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of the exchange .
I ’ ll never understand how refusing to put a mask on for 5 minutes is the hill these people choose to die on .
Of all the issues going on in the world , how is this what you choose to take a stand on ?
WheresThePole This anti-masker doesn ’ t believe in numbers and we ’ ve achieved Covidiocy Level : expert

Pics
This response to a bad review, shared by u/ilikeyourchords on Reddit, shows exactly why the subreddit is called r/QuitYourBullshit.
This is the one-star review left by a disgruntled customer.
And this is the comprehensive and robust response.
Let’s have a look at their main points.
You and your friend both came into our store without masks on despite the fact that it is posted on the door that masks are mandatory. We asked you nicely if you could put a mask on and you said no. We then asked if we could give you a free mask to wear and you said no. We then asked you to leave and you resisted. Is it really bad customer service to ask you to wear a mask in our store or to go elsewhere? Writing a nasty review on every source you can find will not stop us from protecting what is important to us. We wear masks for 8 hours straight to protect people. It doesn’t seem like asking you to wear one while you are in our store is to much to ask.
Here’s what Redditors thought of the exchange.
Rather gracious response from the owner. Bravo.
ilikemycoffeealatte
Anti- maskers are selfish, unpatriotic, temper-tantrum throwing losers.
SL8Rfan
I’ll never understand how refusing to put a mask on for 5 minutes is the hill these people choose to die on. Of all the issues going on in the world, how is this what you choose to take a stand on?
WheresThePole
It’d be fine with me if this were the hill they chose to die on. Unfortunately, this is the hill they’ve chosen to kill other people on.
pointlesspoppycock
Shop owner – 7, Covidiots United – 0.
READ MORE
This anti-masker doesn’t believe in numbers and we’ve achieved Covidiocy Level: expert
Source r/QuitYourBullshit Image r/QuitYourBullshit, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-09-24--This video of a moose running across a river is surely the oddest thing we’ll see today

This video of a moose running across a video has gone viral because , well , it ’ s a @ @ @ @ @ across a river .
No , us neither .
‘ I just came to the @ @ @ @ @ was gon na explain how the moose is doing it .
But NO .
Everyone @ @ @ @ @ around it.
’ MamaAkina ‘ Jesus has returned , but in a different form .
@ @ @ @ @ ‘ A guess : Moose ( meese ? )
are very big and that water @ @ @ @ @ .
You can see it starts splashing more water near the end when it crosses @ @ @ @ @ river.
’ mpankey ‘ Flat bottom boats .
They make the rockin ’ world go @ @ @ @ @ anyone else think this was another fuckin Boston Dynamics robot ?
’ AngusVanhookHinson And just @ @ @ @ @ reminder just how HUGE mooses are … Ultimate ( and funniest ) proof that cats @ @ @ @

Videos
This video of a moose running across a video has gone viral because, well, it’s a video of a goose running across a river.
No, us neither.
‘I just came to the comments to see if anyone was gonna explain how the moose is doing it. But NO. Everyone had to build a religion around it.’ MamaAkina ‘Jesus has returned, but in a different form. Praise be!’ nyclurker369 ‘It’s the moosiah!’ pm_me_your_kindwords ‘A guess: Moose (meese?) are very big and that water is shallower than it looks. You can see it starts splashing more water near the end when it crosses the deep part of the river.’ mpankey ‘Flat bottom boats. They make the rockin’ world go round.’ harrybalsania ‘Did anyone else think this was another fuckin Boston Dynamics robot?’ AngusVanhookHinson
And just in case you need a reminder just how HUGE mooses are …
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Ultimate (and funniest) proof that cats really will sit anywhere
Source Imgur H/T Reddit u/TooShiftyForYou


thepoke--2020-09-24--This list of the scariest things on earth absolutely nails it

This list of the scariest things on earth shared by lumiere-xt on Reddit absolutely nails it .
Well , go @ @ @ @ @ InTeReStInG fACtS AbOuT mE Is ThAt I hAve NevEr BrOkEn A bOnE , I hAvE @ @ @ @ @ hAvE a SiBlInG.
’ chickenjoe-ish ‘ Literally one of the main reasons I went skydiving @ @ @ @ @ least one interesting thing to say.
’ BittahCommander This creepy umbrella animation is very impressive @ @ @ @

Pics
This list of the scariest things on earth shared by lumiere-xt on Reddit absolutely nails it.
Well, go on then.
‘3 InTeReStInG fACtS AbOuT mE Is ThAt I hAve NevEr BrOkEn A bOnE, I hAvE a PeT, AnD I hAvE a SiBlInG.’ chickenjoe-ish ‘Literally one of the main reasons I went skydiving is so I have at least one interesting thing to say.’ BittahCommander
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This creepy umbrella animation is very impressive, but also terrifying
Source Reddit u/lumiere-xt


thepoke--2020-09-24--All the times Speaker Lindsay Hoyle joked about this Tory MP looking like a pilot during video calls

Parliamentary reporter , Lewis McKenzie , has given us a salve for the rough week we ’ ve all had @ @ @ @ @ the Speaker of the House of Commons , Lindsay Hoyle , joking that MP Bob @ @ @ @ @ when he addresses the house via Zoom with his headphones on .
Nothing like getting @ @ @ @ @ from a joke .
He obviously did it once and it just took off .
@ @ @ @ @ ’ s the previous Speaker saying ‘ Mr Peter Bone ’ , set to Beethoven @ @ @ @ @ Watch the Speaker of the House of Commons skewer a Tory MP for being a @

Videos
Parliamentary reporter, Lewis McKenzie, has given us a salve for the rough week we’ve all had, with this supercut of the Speaker of the House of Commons, Lindsay Hoyle, joking that MP Bob Blackman looks like a pilot when he addresses the house via Zoom with his headphones on.
It's been a pretty tough news week so I put together a video of all the times Speaker Lindsay Hoyle has joked about Tory MP Bob Blackman looking like a pilot during his virtual contributions since March. Spoiler: It's a lot of times. pic.twitter.com/KB4RBDRVDA — Lewis McKenzie (@LewisMcKenzie94) September 23, 2020
Nothing like getting your money’s worth from a joke. He obviously did it once and it just took off.
This is hilarious. Clearly Mr Speaker @LindsayHoyle_MP is having some fun with this running gag about @BobBlackman who does not seem to mind.
The best running gags run and run so I look forward to more of this. https://t.co/ViPFf3DKNo — Simon Johnson (@sjrbsimon) September 23, 2020
Everyone needs a gimmick. https://t.co/zDkmaaOPqv — Matt Deegan (@matt) September 23, 2020
Lewis had this update.
Just spoken to @BobBlackman about this. He tells me: "I think Mr Speaker is secretly rather jealous of my rather natty headphones and microphone!" Thanks for being a good sport, Bob 👍 https://t.co/aZVUHFjaTi — Lewis McKenzie (@LewisMcKenzie94) September 23, 2020
As a bonus, here’s the previous Speaker saying ‘Mr Peter Bone’, set to Beethoven’s 5th Symphony.
I'm now so obsessed with Bercow saying "Mr Peter Bone" that I've spent a period of time setting it to the opening of Beethoven's 5th. Brexit is literally driving me mad. pic.twitter.com/P5w31OWkWi — Rhodri Marsden (@rhodri) March 28, 2019
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Watch the Speaker of the House of Commons skewer a Tory MP for being a snowflake
Source Lewis McKenzie Image Lewis McKenzie, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-09-24--Brendan Behan gave the best possible explanation of the difference between prose and poetry – NSFW

The poet , author , playwright and songwriter , Brendan Behan , lived a short and eventful life , dying @ @ @ @ @ from the effects of alcoholism and diabetes .
Over on Twitter , Aodhán Ó Coileáin @ @ @ @ @ the legendary Irishman ’ s wit and mastery of words .
We ’ re sure @ @ @ @ @ blanks .
It ’ s unlikely to make it onto the GCSE English syllabus – @ @ @ @ @ of Ferrier Pollocks .

Pics
The poet, author, playwright and songwriter, Brendan Behan, lived a short and eventful life, dying at the age of 41 from the effects of alcoholism and diabetes.
Over on Twitter, Aodhán Ó Coileáin shared a perfect example of the legendary Irishman’s wit and mastery of words.
We’re sure you can fill in the blanks. It’s unlikely to make it onto the GCSE English syllabus – which is such a load of Ferrier Pollocks.
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Newspaper letter of the day
Source Aodhán Ó Coileáin Image Aodhán Ó Coileáin, Library of Congress


thepoke--2020-09-24--Led By Donkeys used Trump’s golf record to shame him and it was a hole in one

The creative activist group , Led By Donkeys , began by placing politicians ’ own words on billboards to highlight @ @ @ @ @ this tweet from David Cameron , which looks increasingly ridiculous as time passes .
We @ @ @ @ @ Davis being able to defend this position now – particularly in Kent or Northern Ireland @ @ @ @ @ take a swipe at both Boris Johnson and his role model , Donald Trump , @ @ @ @ @ UK .
Their latest campaign once again turns its attention to Trump – specifically his @ @ @ @ @ Watch what they ’ ve done .
“ I ’ m going to be working @ @ @ @ @ m not going to have time to go play golf.
” These reactions say it @ @ @ @ @ the wonderful Janey Godley staged her own protest at Turnberry .
A farewell to the @ @ @ @ @ Cliffs of Dover gave people feelings

Videos
The creative activist group, Led By Donkeys, began by placing politicians’ own words on billboards to highlight their hypocrisy.
There was this tweet from David Cameron, which looks increasingly ridiculous as time passes.
We can’t imagine David Davis being able to defend this position now – particularly in Kent or Northern Ireland.
They also managed to take a swipe at both Boris Johnson and his role model, Donald Trump, when the President visited the UK.
Hey @realDonaldTrump, you just endorsed your Brexit buddy @BorisJohnson but he said some VERY NASTY things about you and he doesn’t want you to know. So we projected his words onto Big Ben. Watch with the SOUND ON #TrumpUKVisit pic.twitter.com/etUb6tk9eX — Led By Donkeys (@ByDonkeys) June 3, 2019
Their latest campaign once again turns its attention to Trump – specifically his response to the coronavirus. Watch what they’ve done.
Trump Turnberry golf course, Scotland – SOUND ON
cc @realDonaldTrump pic.twitter.com/bth2aeKSic — Led By Donkeys (@ByDonkeys) September 22, 2020
“I’m going to be working for you. I’m not going to have time to go play golf.”
Awkward!
from Donald Trump GIFs via Gfycat
These reactions say it all.
The characteristic of all populist leadership, from Trump to Johnson (and others), is that the gulf between words and reality is as wide as from here to the moon… thank you @bydonkeys https://t.co/je7HSDkkfo — Gavin Esler (@gavinesler) September 22, 2020
This is Spectacular https://t.co/ziOJSv2cM5 — Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) September 22, 2020
Of course, the wonderful Janey Godley staged her own protest at Turnberry.
Four years ago today, I stood at Turnberry with a sign that even the cops couldn’t argue with. As Trump exited his helicopter in the background and I stood firm. I was on Scottish Land ( the pavement) not Trump property so they couldn’t move me. #happyturnberryanniversary pic.twitter.com/iNmJG7AE4w — Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) June 23, 2020
Me and trump have beef pic.twitter.com/M8LxSwzjSd — Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) September 18, 2020
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A farewell to the EU projected onto the White Cliffs of Dover gave people feelings
Source Led By Donkeys Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-09-24--Steps claimed people say they’ve saved 2020 but words are not enough – 12 bittersweet responses

In what seems like pretty bad timing for a band who had some slick dance moves , Steps are planning @ @ @ @ @ an album .
One of the five – Lee Latchford-Evans – told a Sky News @ @ @ @ @ fans .
In a year that can genuinely be described as a tragedy , it @ @ @ @ @ .
One Twitter user had a suggestion for how Steps actually could save 2020 .
@ @ @ @ @ t happy about Wagamama ’ s vegan tuna and their response was delicious

Twitter
In what seems like pretty bad timing for a band who had some slick dance moves, Steps are planning a comeback tour – plus an album.
One of the five – Lee Latchford-Evans – told a Sky News journalist about the reaction from fans.
Steps return: 'People are saying we've saved 2020!' https://t.co/6KGtRoJTeI — SkyNews (@SkyNews) September 23, 2020
In a year that can genuinely be described as a tragedy, it’s a bold statement.
People were sceptical.
1.
Did… did they cure the virus https://t.co/fAPQTw7Ica — James Felton (@JimMFelton) September 23, 2020
2.
"People" = the five members of Steps. https://t.co/oDzKE9QqBZ — Richard Littler (@richard_littler) September 23, 2020
3.
Hands up if you were one of the people who said this. https://t.co/1WSzRoBjU7 — Brian Moore (@brianmoore666) September 23, 2020
4.
5.
The rest of the year has been a Tragedy 🕺💃👩🎤 https://t.co/3Xv2z8uTs2 — Simon Mahon (@SimonPlanMahon) September 23, 2020
6.
Ha ha ha ha! Is it April 1st again? https://t.co/2HAeDYo1Is — Keren Bobker (@FinancialUAE) September 23, 2020
7.
How? By giving people something else to focus all their hate on? https://t.co/Pt0200DZqu — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) September 23, 2020
8.
Please provide a list of these people and their Twitter handles so we can block them. https://t.co/X8ieMxlbM0 — Gary Taphouse (@garytaphouse) September 23, 2020
9.
literally no one is saying this, not even the families of Steps https://t.co/2mQ1hkUOg6 — LM. (@munnsie) September 23, 2020
10.
I'm going to have to go with "no" here. https://t.co/YroEeXtDMg — Lars Sivertsen (@larssivertsen) September 23, 2020
11.
People such as their marketing team, for instance. https://t.co/QfNLTrZg5W — Graham Lithgow (@grahamlithgow) September 23, 2020
12.
Narrator: The people were wrong. Steps were unable to save 2020. https://t.co/WmfN63SFCN — Emma Manzini (@EmmaManzini) September 23, 2020
One Twitter user had a suggestion for how Steps actually could save 2020.
Correct. Play their music, point it towards covid-19 and watch the virus die off. https://t.co/iuCBMEis1k — Daniel (@danielmarcevans) September 23, 2020
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Claire from Steps wasn’t happy about Wagamama’s vegan tuna and their response was delicious
Source Sky News Image Screengrab