thepoke--2020-11-15--Simply 8 perfect reactions to Carrie Symonds being nicknamed Princess Nut Nuts

If you were wondering what kind of a workplace 10 Downing Street has been under Dominic Cummings , it seems @ @ @ @ @ ’ s fiancée , Carrie Symonds , ‘ Princess Nut Nuts ’ .
Nothing says @ @ @ @ @ good hands ” quite like knowing the office of the Prime Minister is staffed by @ @ @ @ @ think Top Gear presenters are too mature .
Empty gossip or fact -Twitter couldn ’ @ @ @ @ @ weigh in on it , with comments like these .
Journalist Dawn Neesom spotted the @ @ @ @ @ Cummings is going – 17 favourite farewells to Dominic Cummings

Weird World
If you were wondering what kind of a workplace 10 Downing Street has been under Dominic Cummings, it seems he had dubbed Boris Johnson’s fiancée, Carrie Symonds, ‘Princess Nut Nuts’.
Nothing says “The country is in good hands” quite like knowing the office of the Prime Minister is staffed by the kind of people who think Top Gear presenters are too mature.
Empty gossip or fact -Twitter couldn’t resist the urge to weigh in on it, with comments like these.
1.
Mr Johnson was particularly riled by newspaper reports of Ms Symonds being referred to by Cummings loyalists by nicknames including “Princess nut nuts”. In other news, excess deaths in the UK are at 70,000 this year and we still don’t have a deal with the EU with a week to go. — Dr Phil Hammond (@drphilhammond) November 14, 2020
2.
Things which are acceptable:
-50,000+ deaths
-letting vulnerable children go hungry
-giving lucrative contracts to your mates
-driving to Barnard Castle to test your eyesight Things which are not acceptable:
-calling Carrie Symonds Princess Nut Nuts — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) November 14, 2020
3.
How this Govt works: -Put lies on side of a bus
-Treat Parliament with contempt
-Break rules and charge around country during pandemic
-Brief against Ministers Nothing happens -Call PM’s partner ‘Princess Nut Nuts’ You’re out — Paul Johnson (@paul__johnson) November 14, 2020
4.
Damn, I thought I was Princess Nut Nuts. — Priyamvada Gopal (@PriyamvadaGopal) November 14, 2020
5.
has Dominic Cummings done a 8,000 word blog post about taking back control from Princess Nut Nuts yet? — dave ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) November 14, 2020
6.
I could have sworn Princess Nut Nuts won the last series of Ru Paul's Drag Race. — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) November 14, 2020
7.
It was the last time he’d call her Princess Nut Nuts. pic.twitter.com/EFlo17NrPr — Dame VictoriaG Esq (MPhil (failed)) (@ancientnmodern) November 14, 2020
8.
On tonight's show, live in session, Princess Nut Nuts pic.twitter.com/rolu9OxX9r — TheJazzDad (@TheJazzDad) November 14, 2020
Journalist Dawn Neesom spotted the irony of the nickname.
Slightly confused that Carrie Symonds is nicknamed #PrincessNutNuts. Given that’s the very thing #BorisJohnson needs to grow a pair of. 🤨 — Dawn Neesom (@DawnNeesom) November 14, 2020
READ MORE
Cummings is going – 17 favourite farewells to Dominic Cummings
Source Twitter Image Screengrab, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-11-16--Donald Trump keeps tweeting he won the election and Mark Hamill had the best response

Donald Trump continues to refuse to admit that he lost to Joe Biden .
Having briefly tweeted that his rival @ @ @ @ @ ’ s now spending his time on Twitter telling everyone that no , actually , @ @ @ @ @ it .
And there were lots of winning responses .
But none quite so winning @ @ @ @ @ himself , Mark Hamill .
Donald Trump heckled for being boring is the perfect riposte @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
Donald Trump continues to refuse to admit that he lost to Joe Biden.
Having briefly tweeted that his rival won, the so-called president’s now spending his time on Twitter telling everyone that no, actually, it was Trump wot won it.
Sometimes in caps.
I WON THE ELECTION! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 16, 2020
Sometimes not.
I won the Election! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 16, 2020
Well, that’s progress of a sort.
And there were lots of winning responses.
I WON THE WORLD CUP. https://t.co/VOYvlCAySi — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) November 16, 2020
I CAN CONTROL UNICORNS WITH MY MIND! https://t.co/a6MckoBFjq — Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) November 16, 2020
I am the Batman. https://t.co/5vssfi8VQ0 — Justin Amash (@justinamash) November 16, 2020
I WON TASKMASTER! — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) November 16, 2020
But none quite so winning as this from Luke Skywalker himself, Mark Hamill.
YOU WON AN EJECTION! https://t.co/dR8kAN1Ayn — Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) November 16, 2020
Boom.
READ MORE
Donald Trump heckled for being boring is the perfect riposte to his refusal to concede
Source Twitter @HamillHimself


thepoke--2020-11-16--New Wrexham FC owners Ryan Reyolds and Rob McElhenney just released this video and it’s fabulous

Hollywood stars Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney are the new owners of lowly Wrexham Football Club after supporters voted overwhelmingly @ @ @ @ @ takeover .
It ’ s not just the oddest thing to have happened in Wrexham @ @ @ @ @ ’ s got to be up there in the top tier of the strangest things @ @ @ @ @ .
Ever .
The pair celebrated by releasing this video and if it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ come it ’ s going to be a helluva ride .
A very , very @ @ @ @ @ few of the many , many responses it prompted .
This Telegraph reader ’ s @ @ @ @ @ Crown is so perfect it can ’ t be real … can it ?

Videos
Hollywood stars Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney are the new owners of lowly Wrexham Football Club after supporters voted overwhelmingly in favour of the proposed takeover.
It’s not just the oddest thing to have happened in Wrexham’s history, it’s got to be up there in the top tier of the strangest things to have happened in football. Ever.
The pair celebrated by releasing this video and if it’s a sign of things to come it’s going to be a helluva ride. A very, very funny ride.
And a few of the many, many responses it prompted.
Boss: How can we react to the Wrexham tweet? Me: Erm… Boss: I think we should, it's going viral. Me: Ryan Reynolds is wearing glasses? Boss: Perfect, invite him to our Wrexham store. — Specsavers (@Specsavers) November 16, 2020
If only we had sponsored the club instead of just having a pitch-side advertising board! Congratulations on the take over. We are excited to see what happens next. — Evans Lamsley Limited (@EvansLamsley) November 16, 2020
It's working. Just bought a TA510 livestock trailer — Comedy Central UK (@ComedyCentralUK) November 16, 2020
READ MORE
This Telegraph reader’s fury at inaccuracies in The Crown is so perfect it can’t be real … can it?
Source Twitter @Wrexham_AFC


thepoke--2020-11-16--The Daily Mail just found out viruses are really small – 6 more than microscopically funny responses

Breaking news over at the Daily Mail , which appears to have just found out that viruses are like , @ @ @ @ @ .
So small , in fact , that you can do this , and it @ @ @ @ @ which really brings home their shock .
Seriously , who knew ?
Everyone else apart @ @ @ @ @ presumably .
These 6 takedowns are more than microscopically funny .
Much more .

Pics
Breaking news over at the Daily Mail, which appears to have just found out that viruses are like, you know, really small.
So small, in fact, that you can do this, and it’s those capital letters which really brings home their shock.
World's Covid almost fits on a TEASPOON: Total volume of coronavirus infecting more than 53million people is just 0.2 fl oz https://t.co/wsf0J0MKy4 — Daily Mail Online (@MailOnline) November 15, 2020
NO!
Seriously, who knew? Everyone else apart from the Daily Mail, presumably. These 6 takedowns are more than microscopically funny. Much more.
1.
just imagine eating that teaspoon of pure coronavirus https://t.co/fwexZE9g7s — joolsd (@joolsd) November 16, 2020
2.
you can’t just give out the answers to mckinsey interview questions like that https://t.co/yotKpeVYHY — stephanie (@isosteph) November 16, 2020
3.
Whoever's been using that teaspoon is a real Typhoo Mary https://t.co/biJcMXQKNN — Conor Pope (@Conorpope) November 16, 2020
4.
We need to track down that spoon and fast — Morrie’s Wigs (@morrieswigsltd) November 15, 2020
5.
BREAKING: Insipid toe-rag tabloid makes shocking discovery that viruses are small. https://t.co/cwBNzIyhje — Dan Kaszeta (@DanKaszeta) November 16, 2020
6.
Why did you have to make it look so delicious? — Moby Duck 📕 (@amphitryoniades) November 16, 2020
7.
Let me taste the forbidden jam https://t.co/zxP24jWBNe — James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 16, 2020
To conclude …
This just in, viruses are REALLY SMALL! Thanks, Daily Mail, what a scoop! pic.twitter.com/17ONmkUdQM — Sooz "Princess Nut Nuts" Kempner (@SoozUK) November 16, 2020
Source Twitter @MailOnline
Image Pexels


thepoke--2020-11-16--Donald Trump heckled for being boring is the perfect riposte to his refusal to concede

Donald Trump continues to refuse to concede the US election , insisting that he actually won the thing despite losing @ @ @ @ @ considerable margin .
And there ’ s no funnier riposte right now than the time @ @ @ @ @ being boring by @ TheGoodLiars .
It ’ s been watched more than 3 million @ @ @ @ @ can follow @ TheGoodLiars on Twitter here !

Videos
Donald Trump continues to refuse to concede the US election, insisting that he actually won the thing despite losing to Joe Biden by some considerable margin.
I WON THE ELECTION! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 16, 2020
And there’s no funnier riposte right now than the time when he was heckled for being boring by @TheGoodLiars.
It’s been watched more than 3 million times already. And you can follow @TheGoodLiars on Twitter here!
Here’s the full clip from when we called Trump “boring.” pic.twitter.com/xUriRQdLCV — The Good Liars (@TheGoodLiars) July 15, 2020
READ MORE
Simply 9 brutal gotchas after Donald Trump accidentally admitted electoral defeat
Source Twitter @TheGoodLiars


thepoke--2020-11-16--This Telegraph reader’s fury at inaccuracies in The Crown is so perfect it can’t be real … can it?

To the Telegraph , where a reader ( and ardent royalist , naturally ) is so angry at inaccuracies in @ @ @ @ @ that he was moved to put pen to paper .
The fourth series of the @ @ @ @ @ as you can ’ t possibly have failed to have noticed , and it ’ @ @ @ @ @ Thatcher and , well , Dominic Witherow from Woking is frankly unimpressed .
Just not @ @ @ @ @ ’ re expecting .
The letter went viral on Twitter on Monday and here are @ @ @ @ @ things people said about it .
Des O ’ Connor ’ s death sent this @ @ @ @ @ all over again Source Twitter @ janegarvey1

Popular
To the Telegraph, where a reader (and ardent royalist, naturally) is so angry at inaccuracies in Netflix’s The Crown that he was moved to put pen to paper.
The fourth series of the drama is now streaming, as you can’t possibly have failed to have noticed, and it’s all about Diana and Thatcher and, well, Dominic Witherow from Woking is frankly unimpressed.
Just not necessarily for the reasons you’re expecting.
Unexpected plot twist!
The letter went viral on Twitter on Monday and here are just a few of the things people said about it.
Blame the casting director. — Jasper Rees (@JasperRees) November 16, 2020
Ha Ha Did you think about that, or just make it up on the fly ? — (@zuluzim909) November 16, 2020
I knew Charles would get into trouble for his errant rod-work: https://t.co/Yp7sugmUcd — Shaun Keaveny (@shaunwkeaveny) November 16, 2020
Surely Jane means is it reel? https://t.co/UcPCjVHdBh — Daniel Finkelstein (@Dannythefink) November 16, 2020
This is HEAVENLY — Kat Brown (@katbrown) November 16, 2020
One of the reasons why I love this country beyond reason. https://t.co/mqpzUXDiRE — Antonello Guerrera (@antoguerrera) November 16, 2020
There’s probably a group that keeps an eye on fishing related injustices.
My brother discovered there’s a group that spots “the wrong bus” when the company he worked for made a promotional video. It included a bus from the wrong Scottish island. Anathema! — One Basket (@OneBasket_Kelso) November 16, 2020
Are you sure you’re not reading Viz? — Carla Boulton, Therapeutic Counsellor, MNCS Accred (@naughtymutt) November 16, 2020
READ MORE
Des O’Connor’s death sent this hilarious Eric Morecambe story viral all over again
Source Twitter @janegarvey1


thepoke--2020-11-16--This doctor’s ‘space Karen’ takedown of Elon Musk is out of this world

Spare a thought – sort of – for Elon Musk who was forced to miss his latest SpaceX rocket launch @ @ @ @ @ .
We say ‘ sort of ’ because it ’ s fair to say that @ @ @ @ @ convinced by the tests , and naturally went on Twitter to say so .
Encouraging @ @ @ @ @ results is becoming more fashionable these days – just ask Donald Trump – but it @ @ @ @ @ very irresponsible thing to say .
And no-one put it better than this doctor .
@ @ @ @ @ the things people were saying about it .
Piers Morgan ’ s takedown of Matt @ @ @ @ @ is simply blistering

Twitter
Spare a thought – sort of – for Elon Musk who was forced to miss his latest SpaceX rocket launch after testing positive for Covid-19.
We say ‘sort of’ because it’s fair to say that Musk wasn’t entirely convinced by the tests, and naturally went on Twitter to say so.
Something extremely bogus is going on. Was tested for covid four times today. Two tests came back negative, two came back positive. Same machine, same test, same nurse. Rapid antigen test from BD. — Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 13, 2020
Encouraging people not to believe their results is becoming more fashionable these days – just ask Donald Trump – but it struck many people as a very irresponsible thing to say.
Insanely irresponsible tweet. — Ray [REDACTED] (@RayRedacted) November 13, 2020
And no-one put it better than this doctor.
Rapid antigen tests trade sensitivity for speed. They return a result in <30 minutes, but can only detect COVID-19 when you’re absolutely riddled with it. What’s bogus is that Space Karen didn’t read up on the test before complaining to his millions of followers. pic.twitter.com/a1Snfpm03h — Emma Bell PhD (@emmabell42) November 14, 2020
This graphs shows the probability of COVID-19 detection for the available tests. Rapid antigen tests (orange) only give low false negative results for a couple of days. Space Karen’s results (2 neg, followed by 2 pos later that day) are completely in line with this. pic.twitter.com/hnX9J1m7Lk — Emma Bell PhD (@emmabell42) November 14, 2020
Boom.
And just a few of the things people were saying about it.
Not wild about the whole Karen thing but Space Karen as a nickname here is inspired. https://t.co/S9nBTuZcaV — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) November 16, 2020
https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1328307294094897152?s=20
“Space Karen” has been howling with laughter https://t.co/KVxXhAN3uX — Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) November 16, 2020
In which Elon Musk’s poor COVID-science fluency leads an epigeneticist to call him “Space Karen.” https://t.co/5W9vyHVNSZ — Bartley Kives (@bkives) November 16, 2020
An expert. Also ‘Space Karen’ 😆 https://t.co/uVNxTS98oj — Dr Adam Rutherford (@AdamRutherford) November 16, 2020
https://twitter.com/SpillerOfTea/status/1328272074083864577?s=20
I will never not laugh at Space Karen https://t.co/InvR5sTRMy pic.twitter.com/92vQfIyzHi — dan hett (@danhett) November 16, 2020
READ MORE
Piers Morgan’s takedown of Matt Hancock over his Covid-19 record is simply blistering
Source Twitter @emmabell42


thepoke--2020-11-16--Piers Morgan’s takedown of Matt Hancock over his Covid-19 record is simply blistering

As you might have read elsewhere , Matt Hancock finally broke the government ’ s six-month boycott of Good Morning @ @ @ @ @ be interviewed by Piers Morgan and Susanna Reid .
And after this blistering takedown of @ @ @ @ @ government ’ s track record tackling Covid-19 , he might wish he hadn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ Twitter and here are our favourite things people said about it .
Piers Morgan asked @ @ @ @ @ ’ s 6-month GMB boycott and his answer was maximum cringe

Videos
As you might have read elsewhere, Matt Hancock finally broke the government’s six-month boycott of Good Morning Britain today by agreeing to be interviewed by Piers Morgan and Susanna Reid.
And after this blistering takedown of the health secretary over the government’s track record tackling Covid-19, he might wish he hadn’t.
After a Gov’ boycott of 202 days @piersmorgan finally gets a chance to hammer squirming Health Secretary Matt Hancock with a charge sheet of failures in a rip roaring master class of how to hold a Gov’t to account #GMB pic.twitter.com/zFR1HhMNzY — Peter Stefanovic (@PeterStefanovi2) November 16, 2020
It went viral on Twitter and here are our favourite things people said about it.
I now get why they’ve been boycotting light morning TV shows pic.twitter.com/AYxGSSjKCj — James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 16, 2020
I am by no means Piers Morgan's biggest fan, but he absolutely nails it here. https://t.co/ui3dKq3eWf — Dr Sara Barker (@DrSKBarker) November 16, 2020
https://twitter.com/Clare_Jennifer/status/1328271540576788482?s=20
Best part of this dressing down of Hancock is his subconscious nodding when @piersmorgan says The testing system is a complete shambles. What he him nod then catch himself and shake his head… Some non-verbal leakage there pic.twitter.com/BPoxsoRSe8 — Matt Buckland (@ElSatanico) November 16, 2020
Oh this is rather brilliant. @piersmorgan and @susannareid100 using the first time a minister has been on GMB in 201 days to go back thorough the last 201 days and ask why Hancock is still health secretary and hasn't resigned — Jonathan Haynes (@JonathanHaynes) November 16, 2020
To conclude …
READ MORE
Piers Morgan asked Matt Hancock about the government’s 6-month GMB boycott and his answer was maximum cringe
Source Twitter @PeterStefanovi2


thepoke--2020-11-16--This 2020 to-do list is incredibly funny – but also dark AF

If anybody tells you they knew 2020 would be like this , they ’ re either a damned liar or you should get next week ’ s lottery numbers from them ASAP – and DM them to The Poke .
Back at the end of 2019 , we all had hopes and goals for 2020 that life was about to set alight .
Like the PM , comedian Robyn Schall was feeling positive about the coming year , and she had written a to-do list reflecting just that .
Here ’ s what she said about the list .
And @ @ @ @ @ @ @ brace yourself .
It gets dark fast .
We ’ re sorry for Robyn ’ s loss and difficult year and we feel pretty bad for laughing , but it is a very funny watch .
Here ’ s what the internet thought of her ultimately futile list .
Over on Instagram , yogabykorrie was half right with this message .
But we can ’ t help feeling that TikTok user , @ thatssoandrew , was really onto something with this plea .
You can follow her on TikTok , Twitter and Instagram @ @ @ @ @ @ @ more laughs .
This very funny TikTok shows why the curse of 2020 seems to have backed off a little

Videos
If anybody tells you they knew 2020 would be like this, they’re either a damned liar or you should get next week’s lottery numbers from them ASAP – and DM them to The Poke.
Back at the end of 2019, we all had hopes and goals for 2020 that life was about to set alight.
For example …
This is going to be a fantastic year for Britain. pic.twitter.com/dLQUVauCKg — Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson) January 2, 2020
Like the PM, comedian Robyn Schall was feeling positive about the coming year, and she had written a to-do list reflecting just that.
Here’s what she said about the list.
When at 11pm and a glass of wine deep you find your 2020 goals list and can’t help but laugh!! 2020 goal list is trolling me hard!
And here’s the list itself – brace yourself. It gets dark fast.
We’re sorry for Robyn’s loss and difficult year and we feel pretty bad for laughing, but it is a very funny watch.
We’re with Shawn.
I'm sorry, but I'm glad that you can laugh at the irony. — Shawn Balk (@shawn_balk) November 16, 2020
Here’s what the internet thought of her ultimately futile list.
If “Make people laugh” was on there… ✅ — David Hicks (@David_Hicks) November 16, 2020
Over on Instagram, yogabykorrie was half right with this message.
“You. Are. Amazing. Crushinngggg those goals 🤣”
But we can’t help feeling that TikTok user, @thatssoandrew, was really onto something with this plea.
You can follow her on TikTok, Twitter and Instagram for less tragic news and a lot more laughs.
READ MORE
This very funny TikTok shows why the curse of 2020 seems to have backed off a little
Source Robyn Schall Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-11-16--I’m A Celebrity is back and here are the 16 funniest tweets from the first episode

Sunday night saw the long-awaited return of I ’ m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here !
to our @ @ @ @ @ came a whole bunch of hilarious tweets .
Due to Covid-19 restrictions , this year @ @ @ @ @ place in Gwrych Castle in North Wales instead of the Australian jungle – which itself @ @ @ @ @ very funny responses .
So without wasting too much time , here are 16 of @ @ @ @ @ debut episode : Legendary entertainer Des O ’ Connor has passed away – 15 of @ @ @ @

Twitter
Sunday night saw the long-awaited return of I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! to our screens, and with it came a whole bunch of hilarious tweets.
Due to Covid-19 restrictions, this year’s series is taking place in Gwrych Castle in North Wales instead of the Australian jungle – which itself has prompted a bunch of very funny responses.
So without wasting too much time, here are 16 of the funniest tweets from the debut episode:
1.
Thank god they’ve got a clock to tell us what time it is in Wales #imacelebrity pic.twitter.com/G1Foz5IdAe — Ed Gamble (@EdGambleComedy) November 15, 2020
2.
the inside of the i’m a celeb camp looks amazing 😍 #ImACeleb pic.twitter.com/tuIaRtsAl6 — lewys (@lookingforlewys) November 15, 2020
3.
Mo Farah only signed up for I’m a Celeb so he doesn’t have to eat Quorn for a few weeks — b.b (@benoobrown) November 15, 2020
4.
5.
6.
*Jordan throws up before climbing the cliff*
Everyone getting ready to vote him to do most of the trials: #ImACeleb #imacelebrity pic.twitter.com/AETlENYfIJ — Jasmin (@ItsJasminHere) November 15, 2020
7.
If Nessa Shanessa Jenkins doesn’t replace kiosk Keith I’ll be well fuming #ImACeleb #imacelebrity pic.twitter.com/FlWa2Y50Gs — Jess (@jesslobrien17) November 15, 2020
8.
Ant and Dec doing their best to sell this 2 bedroomed property #ImACeleb pic.twitter.com/5Knik6QdT7 — Dan Mills (@danmil13) November 15, 2020
9.
10.
11.
Plot twist: Dominic Cummings turns up in his car to the castle, to test out his eyesight #ImACeleb #imacelebrity pic.twitter.com/Xs9dDek6kW — B E H L U L (@behlul_official) November 15, 2020
12.
13.
14.
Mo when the first meal in camp isn’t quorn #ImACeleb pic.twitter.com/YlMy4wbUkc — Anna ✨ Adam Day ❤ (@michellefowlers) November 15, 2020
15.
The British public voting Jordan to do the trial #ImACeleb : pic.twitter.com/T6HBMfXAJ8 — Ollie Wakelam (@ollie_wakelam) November 15, 2020
16.
Feel like I'm watching the adult version of jungle run #ImACeleb pic.twitter.com/7mXi8j392L — Jade (@ThatJade94) November 15, 2020
READ MORE
Legendary entertainer Des O’Connor has passed away – 15 of the many touching tributes


thepoke--2020-11-16--Piers Morgan asked Matt Hancock about the government’s 6-month GMB boycott and his answer was maximu

Piers Morgan asked Matt Hancock about the government’s 6-month GMB boycott and his answer was maximum cringe

As you may be aware , government ministers have spent the last six months boycotting Good Morning Britain because they @ @ @ @ @ the questions being put by Piers Morgan and his co-presenter , Susanna Reid .
The @ @ @ @ @ today when Matt Hancock found time in his diary to appear on the ITV breakfast @ @ @ @ @ only natural that Morgan would ask why he and his colleagues had spent so long @ @ @ @ @ s wrigglesome wet tissue of a reply is so cringeworthy it ’ s embarrassing .
@ @ @ @ @ people made of that .
Let ’ s hope he does better next time he @ @ @ @ @ months .
Piers Morgan ’ s takedown of Matt Hancock over Covid-19 is simply blistering

Twitter
As you may be aware, government ministers have spent the last six months boycotting Good Morning Britain because they weren’t happy with the questions being put by Piers Morgan and his co-presenter, Susanna Reid.
The no-shows came to an end today when Matt Hancock found time in his diary to appear on the ITV breakfast show, and it was only natural that Morgan would ask why he and his colleagues had spent so long away.
And Hancock’s wrigglesome wet tissue of a reply is so cringeworthy it’s embarrassing.
‘Where have you been for the last 201 days?’ – @piersmorgan Health Secretary @MattHancock responds to the question about why the govt boycotted GMB and its viewers for six months of the pandemic. He says he is ready to answer questions. Watch GMB now👉 https://t.co/yyUUJmzswF pic.twitter.com/dZitWAxSXm — Good Morning Britain (@GMB) November 16, 2020
Here’s exactly what people made of that.
Basically this was, over and over: “Minister, why did these wrong things happen?” “Well this is what we’re doing now.” The past for @MattHancock is indeed a different country. Sadly, not New Zealand. https://t.co/sA2G3yPpFZ — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) November 16, 2020
Matt Hancock just got a bit of a roasting. What is it with smirking Tories? pic.twitter.com/DEqrCWZsEg — Rachael Swindon (@Rachael_Swindon) November 16, 2020
The very definition of a ‘shit eating grin’ pic.twitter.com/pLhWoDyYzj — Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) November 16, 2020
It is fascinating with this elected government, that they feel they never have to explain any decision. They chose to boycott @piersmorgan @susannareid100 and @GMB for 201 days. Some may agree with them and some may not – that’s politics – but just explain why @MattHancock https://t.co/1vF3M97JII — Adam Cannon (@adam_cannon) November 16, 2020
Let’s hope he does better next time he comes on. In six months.
READ MORE
Piers Morgan’s takedown of Matt Hancock over Covid-19 is simply blistering
Source @GMB


thepoke--2020-11-16--Des O’Connor’s death sent this hilarious Eric Morecambe story viral all over again

Very sad news at the weekend that TV ’ s ‘ ultimate entertainer ’ Des O ’ Connor has died aged 88 .
The singer and TV presenter was a permanent fixture in the ITV schedules back in the day and there was no shortage of tributes ( we rounded up some of the best here ) .
He was famously the butt of many Eric Morecambe jokes over the years , and they don ’ t come much better than this one , shared by journalist Piers Hopkirk ( and originally from the Times diary ) .
‘ It @ @ @ @ @ @ @ was largely suspended when Boris Johnson went into hospital .
It reminded me of the story about when Eric Morecambe had a heart attack in 1968 .
‘ Des O ’ Connor , who was mocked by Morecambe every week , heard the news during a gig and stopped to wish his tormentor well .
‘ Later Morecambe was told that O ’ Connor had asked his entire audience to pray for him .
He was touched but not changed .
‘ Those six or seven people might have made all the difference @ @ @ @ @ @ @ they are in action together .
Legendary entertainer Des O ’ Connor has passed away – 15 of the many touching tributes

Popular
Very sad news at the weekend that TV’s ‘ultimate entertainer’ Des O’Connor has died aged 88.
The singer and TV presenter was a permanent fixture in the ITV schedules back in the day and there was no shortage of tributes (we rounded up some of the best here).
He was famously the butt of many Eric Morecambe jokes over the years, and they don’t come much better than this one, shared by journalist Piers Hopkirk (and originally from the Times diary).
‘On a sad day a reminder of classic Eric Morecambe/Des O’Connor banter,’ wrote @piershopkirk
‘It was heartening to see that political point-scoring was largely suspended when Boris Johnson went into hospital. It reminded me of the story about when Eric Morecambe had a heart attack in 1968. ‘Des O’Connor, who was mocked by Morecambe every week, heard the news during a gig and stopped to wish his tormentor well. ‘Later Morecambe was told that O’Connor had asked his entire audience to pray for him. He was touched but not changed. ‘Those six or seven people might have made all the difference,’ he said.’
Fabulous.
Their banter was the best, eventually creating one of the funniest guest scenes on Morecambe and Wise 😂 — Dave (@UK_DC_One) November 15, 2020
I remember Des claimed to be a self made man. Eric replied “it’s nice for someone to take responsibility”. — Colin Taylor (@Colinville) November 15, 2020
Love this- ranks with the Bob Monkhouse “when I go I want to go like my dear old dad…” joke https://t.co/92upLyEO6V — Rory Cellan-Jones (@ruskin147) November 15, 2020
Or the time Des told Eric that he had become a limited company. Eric says ” So you should, you’re a limited performer” — Neville Bartos (@BurgessIII) November 15, 2020
Classic. Good old Des. Good old Eric x https://t.co/GOxMBTh0o9 — Christine Entwisle (@ChrisEntwisle) November 15, 2020
The story that always sticks in my mind is when Des visited Eric in hospital near the end and asked if there was anything he could do for Eric, he replied “Just give it all up” — bob (@bob_white3) November 15, 2020
And here they are in action together.
#OffToBedWithEricAndErn Let’s finish the day with part of a wonderful sketch with M&W and their finest guest… They loved him…he loved them… Fine performers, each able to laugh at themselves…let’s hope they’re all back together…♥#RIPDesOConnor#UltimateEntertainer pic.twitter.com/ZHlxUmWGHU — The Morecambe & Wise Archive (@eric_ernie_col) November 15, 2020
RIP Des O’Connor.
READ MORE
Legendary entertainer Des O’Connor has passed away – 15 of the many touching tributes
Source Twitter @piershopkirk


thepoke--2020-11-16--Simply 9 brutal gotchas after Donald Trump accidentally admitted electoral defeat

The saga of the US presidential election has dragged on and on , with more than a week having passed @ @ @ @ @ race for Joe Biden and no sign of a formal concession from the incumbent .
@ @ @ @ @ a little closer on Sunday morning , when Trump tweeted this : Of course , @ @ @ @ @ the admission was followed by a string of false claims , which were swiftly flagged @ @ @ @ @ surely have a worker devoted to labelling the President ’ s tweets .
Twitter leapt @ @ @ @ @ These were the best responses we spotted .
His own niece , Mary Trump , @ @ @ @ @ ballots .
When he eventually realised what people were saying about his tweet , he @ @ @ @ @ Biden ’ s beaten Donald Trump to become the next US president – 27 favourite @ @ @ @ @ it

Pics
The saga of the US presidential election has dragged on and on, with more than a week having passed since news agencies called the race for Joe Biden and no sign of a formal concession from the incumbent.
But it seemed to edge a little closer on Sunday morning, when Trump tweeted this:
“He won”
Of course, being a Trump tweet, the admission was followed by a string of false claims, which were swiftly flagged by Twitter, who must surely have a worker devoted to labelling the President’s tweets.
Twitter leapt on the accidental concession. These were the best responses we spotted.
1.
2.
And there it is. Trump concedes. — Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) November 15, 2020
3.
This is progress, Don. You wrote the words “He won.” I suggested starting a journal to write down your feelings. — Jeffrey Guterman (@JeffreyGuterman) November 15, 2020
4.
let's un-Fox this tweet:
— there is no evidence to support your claims of fraud
— your own lawyers admitted this to more than one judge
— you keep losing lawsuit after lawsuit
— your lawyers have quit
— and all you have left is Rudy Shirt-Tucking Colludy
— you lost
— get over it — Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) November 15, 2020
5.
You knew Trump's concession speech would be nothing but a lie filled, Sunday morning tweet.#TrumpFinallyConcedes pic.twitter.com/20sOTCfUXH — Grant Stern (@grantstern) November 15, 2020
6.
Quite funny that even his concession gets flagged for misinformation pic.twitter.com/6RNZsZk2li — James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 15, 2020
7.
“He won” is the most honest thing Trump has ever tweeted. #TrumpFinallyConcedes — Scott Dworkin (@funder) November 15, 2020
8.
Sorry some of your transmission got garbled there but I think the message came through just fine pic.twitter.com/boxZf5aoSi — Katie Mack (@AstroKatie) November 15, 2020
9.
You literally told several federal judges this exact same thing, and they all laughed you out of the courtroom. Then your legal team quit on you and admitted that there was no voter fraud. Just give up already! — Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) November 15, 2020
His own niece, Mary Trump, added this kick in the ballots.
Fixed it for you: pic.twitter.com/tVoiVJCRNt — Mary L Trump (@MaryLTrump) November 15, 2020
When he eventually realised what people were saying about his tweet, he posted an update.
He only won in the eyes of the FAKE NEWS MEDIA. I concede NOTHING! We have a long way to go. This was a RIGGED ELECTION! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 15, 2020
the votes that sealed Trump's demise were counted by state elections officials, not the media. https://t.co/CVOBbqh4Wt — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) November 15, 2020
Too late, anyway, Donald. The world said “No backsies.“
READ MORE
Joe Biden’s beaten Donald Trump to become the next US president – 27 favourite things people are saying about it
Source Donald Trump Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-11-16--New Jersey’s Governor had the best response to people who find masks annoying

As the US suffered the horrifying consequences of Covid-19 with a million new infections recorded in one week , the @ @ @ @ @ Phil Murphy , had clearly had enough of anti-maskers .
When the clip was shared @ @ @ @ @ added this point .
The only 5 brutal takedowns you need of these ‘ cheeky @ @

Videos
As the US suffered the horrifying consequences of Covid-19 with a million new infections recorded in one week, the Governor of New Jersey, Phil Murphy, had clearly had enough of anti-maskers.
When the clip was shared to Twitter, Krystal Plott added this point.
For those who think a mask is just sooo uncomfortable 🙄🙄 (also, it’s definitely more uncomfortable when you wear it the wrong way under your nose; and you look like an idiot!!) https://t.co/gcjqbpDa4n — Krystal Plott (@missplott) November 14, 2020
To conclude:
Straight up not having any time for the “masks are uncomfortable” bs crowd. I’m certain that NJ Gov. Phil Murphy would agree…. “Don’t be a shitbum. Wear a mask.” https://t.co/kqBaEDB6ot — John A. Kane III (@BigDaddyKane66) November 13, 2020
READ MORE
The only 5 brutal takedowns you need of these ‘cheeky’ anti-maskers
Source CBS News Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-11-16--The Mail sniped at how Marcus Rashford spends his own money and Twitter ruled it offside – 17 stunni

The Mail sniped at how Marcus Rashford spends his own money and Twitter ruled it offside – 17 stunning takedowns

Marcus Rashford ‘ s anti-hunger campaigning has twice forced the government into a U-turn on the issue of feeding poor @ @ @ @ @ On Sunday , the Mail thought it had achieved some sort of “ gotcha ” @ @ @ @ @ an article about his recently acquired property portfolio .
It ’ s quite the shocker @ @ @ @ @ .
“ Man spends own legally earned money “ .
Whatever was he thinking ?
@ @ @ @ @ how far off the mark the paper had strayed , even Julia Hartley-Brewer and Kirstie @ @ @ @ @ Leftie do-gooders ’ – thought they were out of order .
To make matters worse @ @ @ @ @ doubt the paper was operating some hefty double standards .
Being the direct individual he @ @ @ @ @ article head on .
Here ’ s what he said .
Most of the responses @ @ @ @ @ to the well-reasoned tweet were positive .
These really stood out .

Popular
Marcus Rashford‘s anti-hunger campaigning has twice forced the government into a U-turn on the issue of feeding poor children during school holidays.
On Sunday, the Mail thought it had achieved some sort of “gotcha” moment, when it published an article about his recently acquired property portfolio.
It’s quite the shocker, isn’t it. “Man spends own legally earned money“. Whatever was he thinking?
As an indicator of quite how far off the mark the paper had strayed, even Julia Hartley-Brewer and Kirstie Allsopp – not exactly ‘Leftie do-gooders’ – thought they were out of order.
Good for him. Why shouldn't @MarcusRashford make good investments with the money he's earned from his own skills and hard work? Ugly politics of envy. https://t.co/cBk7VfjUg9 — Julia Hartley-Brewer (@JuliaHB1) November 15, 2020
Wow @MarcusRashford has invested in property. Next it will be headline news that the Pope is a Catholic and Bears 💩 in the woods. — Kirstie Allsopp (@KirstieMAllsopp) November 15, 2020
To make matters worse, there’s no doubt the paper was operating some hefty double standards.
For no reason at all, here’s the Daily Mail in 2009 praising white footballer Robbie Fowler’s sensible property investments pic.twitter.com/RR9qJIuXFQ — Ben (@0point5twins) November 15, 2020
Wonder what the difference is? pic.twitter.com/COSA9xsw2B — YT: Kendall Rowan ⚽ (@kendallrowanx) November 15, 2020
The Daily Mail is in favour of everyone in the world owning property except young black men trying to give something back. https://t.co/h8eC9p4EbA — Emma Burnell (@EmmaBurnell_) November 15, 2020
Being the direct individual he is, Marcus addressed the article head on.
Here’s what he said.
Ok, so let’s address this. I’m 23. I came from little. I need to protect not just my future but my family’s too. To do that I made a decision at the beg of 2020 to start investing more in property. Please don’t run stories like this alongside refs to ‘campaigning’. pic.twitter.com/coqla2i19d — Marcus Rashford MBE (@MarcusRashford) November 15, 2020
Most of the responses to both the Mail and to the well-reasoned tweet were positive.
These really stood out.
1.
You don’t need to explain @MarcusRashford they are small and you are mighty.! They stoop low ….stride over them. https://t.co/fDBwVZhQsf — Deborah Meaden (@DeborahMeaden) November 15, 2020
2.
Perhaps the Mail On Sunday could publish a guide to what professional footballers are permitted to spend their money on without attracting negative attention?
It may be that we need separate categories according to ethnicity and/or propensity to repeatedly shame the government. — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) November 15, 2020
3.
Hey presto! It’s very sly but obvious what the Mail are doing here. They’re less likely to mock/criticise something openly these days, instead they’ll do a story that on the surface looks neutral/positive, where in fact they’re setting up the comment section to do the dirty work https://t.co/gYAMtPvgFL pic.twitter.com/HV2GEDBHzp — Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) November 15, 2020
4.
Pay no attention to this nonsense reporting. They get obsessed with the pay packet of anyone who so much helps an old lady across the road. — Shappi Khorsandi (@ShappiKhorsandi) November 15, 2020
5.
Here they go. This is how they start. Subtle to begin with, but it will grow. It’s what they do. https://t.co/iIYpWG47Wx — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) November 15, 2020
6.
This ladies and gentlemen is the real politics or resentment. A bunch of ungrateful, low achieving ‘journalists’ mad at a young millionaire (who is objectively one of the best at his job) for using his platform to help other peoples children… https://t.co/9rlEAsFLTk — Akala (@akalamusic) November 15, 2020
7.


thepoke--2020-11-16--Test and Trace has told Boris Johnson to self-isolate – our 11 favourite funny responses

As if to demonstrate that he is prepared to follow coronavirus rules , unlike that awful Cummings chap he just @ @ @ @ @ in the first place , Boris Johnson is currently self-isolating after recently coming into contact @ @ @ @ @ since tested positive .
This is the unfortunate MP in question .
If they think @ @ @ @ @ , presumably they both reckon they could take up professional basketball .
The fact that @ @ @ @ @ notoriously inefficient Test and Trace system surprised people .
Presumably , she remembered to look @ @ @ @ @ the recent departure of two key figures from 10 Downing Street , mounting problems with @ @ @ @ @ new information on the levels of cronyism within his administration , many felt the PM @ @ @ @ @ have an excuse to dodge questions .
These were the best reactions we saw .

News
As if to demonstrate that he is prepared to follow coronavirus rules, unlike that awful Cummings chap he just kicked out and never liked in the first place, Boris Johnson is currently self-isolating after recently coming into contact with an MP who has since tested positive.
BREAKING: Boris Johnson is self-isolating after being notified by NHS Test and Trace that he has come into contact with someone with COVID-19. PM expected to work from Downing Street and does not have any symptoms (we still don't know how possible it is to catch Covid twice). — Paul Brand (@PaulBrandITV) November 15, 2020
He added some details.
Today I was notified by NHS Test and Trace that I must self-isolate as I have been in contact with someone who tested positive for COVID-19. I have no symptoms, but am following the rules and will be working from No10 as I continue to lead the government’s pandemic response. — Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson) November 15, 2020
This is the unfortunate MP in question.
Here’s the PM’s meeting with Lee Anderson on Thursday, before the MP tested positive for Covid-19. pic.twitter.com/lq2GZsrrBs — Paul Brand (@PaulBrandITV) November 15, 2020
If they think that gap is two metres, presumably they both reckon they could take up professional basketball.
The fact that Johnson was contacted via the notoriously inefficient Test and Trace system surprised people.
Astonishing Dido managed to trace him. https://t.co/3g3aENUZd5 — Tim Walker (@ThatTimWalker) November 15, 2020
Are you the first person SERCO Track and Trace has contacted? — HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) November 15, 2020
Presumably, she remembered to look in the fridge.
With the recent departure of two key figures from 10 Downing Street, mounting problems with the looming Brexit deadline and new information on the levels of cronyism within his administration, many felt the PM might have been relieved to have an excuse to dodge questions.
These were the best reactions we saw.
1.
Boris Johnson is self-isolating for two weeks after he met with a Tory MP who has Covid. I’d be surprised if anybody notices a difference… pic.twitter.com/SHBvEFrYub — Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) November 15, 2020
2.
Two weeks of sitting around in my pants doing nothing. At least it doesn't involve any changes to my usual routine. https://t.co/pRoSypwejl — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) November 15, 2020
3.
“It won’t be like the first lockdown [five minutes later] Boris Johnson has Covid https://t.co/dUg6c7y8CQ — James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 15, 2020
4.
This is like a note from his parent. I wish any time I could have skipped an exam, I could have said I was "self-isolating". This is him all over. Skipping a crisis. https://t.co/Jtofr7KKzJ — Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) November 15, 2020
5.


thepoke--2020-11-17--‘The most 2020 moment of 2020’

‘The most 2020 moment of 2020’

If ever there was an exchange that summed up the nature of political discourse in 2020 then it is surely @ @ @ @ @ BBC1 ’ s Panorama was shared by writer and broadcaster @ petepaphides and later picked @ @ @ @ @ First up , here ’ s the clip .
And what @ TheMichaelMoran had to @ @ @ @ @ does it better .
Harry Styles wore a dress for Vogue and right-wing America ’ @ @ @ @ @ funny read

Videos
If ever there was an exchange that summed up the nature of political discourse in 2020 then it is surely this.
The clip from BBC1’s Panorama was shared by writer and broadcaster @petepaphides and later picked up by @TheMichaelMoran.
First up, here’s the clip.
This just happened on Panorama and I think it might be the most 2020 moment of 2020. pic.twitter.com/Pi0lqONfHk — Pete Paphides (@petepaphides) November 16, 2020
And what @TheMichaelMoran had to say about it.
Here, in less than 30 seconds, you have the perfect summary of how political debate works in 2020. (spotted by @petepaphides) pic.twitter.com/19CmajWZmJ — Michael Moran (@TheMichaelMoran) November 17, 2020
Nothing does it better.
That’s his wife. — Neon Echo (@NeonEcho1) November 17, 2020
READ MORE
Harry Styles wore a dress for Vogue and right-wing America’s fury is a very funny read
Source @petepaphides @TheMichaelMoran


thepoke--2020-11-17--Harry Styles wore a dress for Vogue and right-wing America’s fury is a very funny read

Harry Styles has become the first ever male cover star of Vogue and it ’ s fair to say that @ @ @ @ @ happy .
It ’ s not the music of the former One Direction star that @ @ @ @ @ riled .
It ’ s the fact he ’ s wearing a dress .
Here @ @ @ @ @ author and commentator made of it .
And if you ’ re thinking it ’ @ @ @ @ @ conservative pundit Ben Shaprio might have an opinion about , you ’ d be absolutely @ @ @ @ @ our favourite things people said in response .
It ’ s impossible to exaggerate how @ @ @ @ @ Diana clip from the Crown

Pics
Harry Styles has become the first ever male cover star of Vogue and it’s fair to say that right wing America is not happy.
.@harry_styles is our December issue cover star! Read how the star is making and playing by his own rules: https://t.co/tQPLi5OEtj pic.twitter.com/AxZgxE68Rx — Vogue Magazine (@voguemagazine) November 13, 2020
It’s not the music of the former One Direction star that’s got them so riled. It’s the fact he’s wearing a dress.
“There’s so much joy to be had in playing with clothes. I’ve never thought too much about what it means—it just becomes this extended part of creating something.”: Read our full December cover story starring @Harry_Styles here: https://t.co/yILujUQQae pic.twitter.com/qwpGKBSQey — Vogue Magazine (@voguemagazine) November 13, 2020
Here’s what right wing author and commentator Candace Owens made of it.
There is no society that can survive without strong men. The East knows this. In the west, the steady feminization of our men at the same time that Marxism is being taught to our children is not a coincidence.
It is an outright attack. Bring back manly men. https://t.co/sY4IJF7VkK — Candace Owens (@RealCandaceO) November 14, 2020
‘Bring back manly men!’
And if you’re thinking it’s the sort of thing conservative pundit Ben Shaprio might have an opinion about, you’d be absolutely right.
This is perfectly obvious. Anyone who pretends that it is not a referendum on masculinity for men to don floofy dresses is treating you as a full-on idiot. https://t.co/cioUNBh4bi — Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 16, 2020
Masculinity and femininity exist. Outward indicators of masculinity and femininity exist in nearly every human culture. Boys are taught to be more masculine in virtually every human culture because the role of men is not always the same as the role of women. — Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 16, 2020
The Left knows this, of course. The POINT of Styles doing this photo shoot is to feminize masculinity. Otherwise why would it be headline-worthy for Styles to don a dress? — Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 16, 2020
If femininity and masculinity exist, they have indicators. Dress has always been such an indicator. That’s why men wearing female garb has been a sign of femininity in virtually all cultures for all time. — Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 16, 2020
This holds true whether men wear kilts and women wear the earasaid, or whether men wear pants and women wear dresses (the argument that men in Scotland wear kilts, so men in America wearing dresses isn't feminine is particularly stupid). — Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 16, 2020
Pretending that men dressing like women does not feminize men is ridiculous, particularly coming from the same people who are celebrating Styles BECAUSE he is feminizing masculinity. — Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) November 16, 2020
And here are our favourite things people said in response.
it objectively rocks that all the faux intellectuals in the “restore manhood” grift are guys who look like they need help opening a jar of pickles https://t.co/8anNzDAHfc — caleb in nyc 10/9 (@calebsaysthings) November 16, 2020
ben shapiro: “bring back masculinity” ben shapiro: harry styles: pic.twitter.com/vZuxg8S1B8 — haley tucker (@tuckerhaleyy) November 16, 2020
it makes me so happy that ben shapiro is terrified of harry styles in a dress — Vincent Martella (@VinMan17) November 16, 2020
Imagine being Ben Shapiro and lecturing literally anyone on masculinity — Angry Staffer (@Angry_Staffer) November 17, 2020
Western civilization faces its greatest threat yet https://t.co/kPkqiCSdtl — Vaush (@VaushV) November 16, 2020
I have some terrible news for Ben Shapiro about the history of masculinity and adornment. https://t.co/FiA34J5rBc — Dr Eleanor Janega (@GoingMedieval) November 16, 2020
Does Ben Shapiro imagine he would survive a referendum on masculinity? https://t.co/8CbvNhlvUl — David Klion (@DavidKlion) November 16, 2020
To conclude …
And this.
ben shapiro doing 47 tweets crying about how harry styles wearing a dress in a high fashion editorial shoot is an attack on masculinity lmfao what a fuckin dweeb — laura lux 🦖🪐 (@darthlux) November 16, 2020
READ MORE
It’s impossible to exaggerate how brilliantly this nails this Princess Diana clip from the Crown
Source @voguemagazine


thepoke--2020-11-17--The Dominic Cummings hall of infamy – 11 greatest hits

After surviving controversy after controversy , the seemingly indestructible Dominic Cummings has finally left Downing Street .
With his relationship with Boris Johnson now officially over , what better time to take a look at the controversial advisor ’ s very , very public highlights .
Here are 11 memorable moments from his time in number 10 : 1 .
When he released a Civil Service recruitment ad calling out for “ weirdos ” and “ misfits ” .
In what reads like a recruitment call hiring a team to take down Batman , Cummings wrote : “ By definition @ @ @ @ @ @ @ what I ’ m looking for… ” .
Perfect .
For anyone wanting to have their brain turned to mush , here ’ s a link to the entire thing .
2 .
When news broke that Boris Johnson had tested positive for Covid-19 and he was spotted pegging it from number 10 .
Cummings ’ best impression of Usain Bolt occurred shortly after Downing Street announced that Boris Johnson and the health secretary , Matt Hancock , had both tested positive for coronavirus .
3 .
When despite his best efforts to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ended up catching Covid-19 .
The diagnosis came just weeks after Dominic Cummings was alleged to have suggested that the death of some elderly people was a price worth paying in an attempt to establish herd immunity against Covid-19 .
Unsurprisingly , not everyone was entirely sympathetic to his illness .
4 .
When he broke the government ’ s own lockdown rules on several different occasions .
Despite Cummings admitting that he traveled 260 miles from London to Durham after contracting symptoms of coronavirus , Boris Johnson stood by the side of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ allowed Cummings to further perfect his greatest skill : refusing to resign .
5 .
And in perhaps his most infamous moment , when his excuse for visiting Barnard castle was so that he could conduct a self-administered eye test : In a live press conference , Cummings kindly provided a boost to both Barnard Castle ’ s tourism numbers and British comedians looking for new material .
6 .
When he ~mysteriously~ had a council tax bill written off .
The taxes were in relation to two buildings – built without planning @ @ @ @ @ @ @ – owned by the Cummings family in Durham .
Coincidentally , it ’ s the same property where he fled with his family during lockdown .
Double naughty .
In today ’ s episode of One Rule For Us , One Rule For Them : pic.twitter.com/QHRK4feMmj 7 .
When he did the unthinkable and actually wore a suit to work .
New term , new uniform ?
A rare sight – Dominic Cummings in a suit… pic.twitter.com/Fyv21qJ71L This wouldn ’ t be a career highlight for most people , but Cummings usual outfit @ @ @ @ @ @ @ an impromptu outfit change after being an accidental accomplice to a bloody crime .
when your probation officer tells you to wear something smart to court pic.twitter.com/uPPGPHfMsU 8 .
And in other fashion news , when he almost bared his arse to the world .
There ’ s not much to add to this one , other than to reiterate that the government ’ s most senior advisor struggles with the concept of belts .
9 .
When he nonsensically rambled about a kids ’ TV show when asked a simple question by @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the loop , PJ Masks is an animated children ’ s show about kids who transform into superheroes during the night – their relation to matters regarding HS2 , or any other planned high-speed railway , remains unclear .
10 .
When Mark Francois threatened the army with the ultimate weapon : Dominic Cummings .
We never got to find out if the general ’ s time spent in Kosovo , Basra & Afghanistan had prepared him for a face-to-face meeting with Cummings .
11 .
And finally , when he left Downing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of simply using one of the many , more private side entrances to No10.
, he chose to roleplay an American sitcom character and publicly walked out of the front door carrying his work belongings inside a cardboard box .
Cummings is going – 17 favourite farewells to Dominic Cummings

Politics
After surviving controversy after controversy, the seemingly indestructible Dominic Cummings has finally left Downing Street.
UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson's adviser Dominic Cummings leaves Number 10 Downing Street with immediate effect https://t.co/oDvJPePbZv pic.twitter.com/9ICXJZ8azN — BBC Breaking News (@BBCBreaking) November 13, 2020
With his relationship with Boris Johnson now officially over, what better time to take a look at the controversial advisor’s very, very public highlights. Here are 11 memorable moments from his time in number 10:
1. When he released a Civil Service recruitment ad calling out for “weirdos” and “misfits”.
Not a conventional recruitment ad. From Cummings. Just now. This is government as an episode of Big Bang theory. Definitely worth reading. If you are super brainy and weird, Cummings wants you https://t.co/RfSJcfCfXt — Robert Peston (@Peston) January 2, 2020
In what reads like a recruitment call hiring a team to take down Batman, Cummings wrote: “By definition, I don’t really know what I’m looking for…”. Perfect. For anyone wanting to have their brain turned to mush, here’s a link to the entire thing.
dominic cummings writes in the same way as the worst men on dating apps pic.twitter.com/x8GlslXmD2 — Abby Tomlinson (@twcuddleston) January 2, 2020
2. When news broke that Boris Johnson had tested positive for Covid-19 and he was spotted pegging it from number 10.
Boris Johnson's chief adviser Dominic Cummings is seen running out of Downing Street. Earlier, the prime minister tested positive for coronavirus https://t.co/sLr7wmOzcr pic.twitter.com/d3mMeqDPcG — ITV News (@itvnews) March 27, 2020
Cummings’ best impression of Usain Bolt occurred shortly after Downing Street announced that Boris Johnson and the health secretary, Matt Hancock, had both tested positive for coronavirus.
The world is so fucked, SO FUCKED, but I can't stop laughing at that footage of Cummings pegging it out of no 10 like a goblin trying to find shelter before sunrise — Gee Aitch Cee (@Scriblit) March 27, 2020
3. When despite his best efforts to outrun an airborne virus, he still ended up catching Covid-19.
Downing Street adviser Dominic Cummings is self-isolating after developing COVID-19 symptoms — Sky News Breaking (@SkyNewsBreak) March 30, 2020
The diagnosis came just weeks after Dominic Cummings was alleged to have suggested that the death of some elderly people was a price worth paying in an attempt to establish herd immunity against Covid-19. Unsurprisingly, not everyone was entirely sympathetic to his illness.
Welcome to the herd, Mr Cummings. — Ash Sarkar (@AyoCaesar) March 30, 2020
4. When he broke the government’s own lockdown rules on several different occasions.
Dominic Cummings defends making 260-mile trip during lockdown – video https://t.co/IVIaXcOJaW — The Guardian (@guardian) May 23, 2020
Despite Cummings admitting that he traveled 260 miles from London to Durham after contracting symptoms of coronavirus, Boris Johnson stood by the side of his most senior aide. The situation allowed Cummings to further perfect his greatest skill: refusing to resign.
“We were simply keen to visit Durham, with its famous castle and cathedral which has a 66m spire” pic.twitter.com/7UHBslbOOt — Andrew McQuillan (@ajmcq1993) May 23, 2020
5. And in perhaps his most infamous moment, when his excuse for visiting Barnard castle was so that he could conduct a self-administered eye test:
Dominic Cummings says he left Durham self-isolation to drive to Barnard Castle to 'test his eyesight' https://t.co/HY5bndSB9F — The Independent (@Independent) May 25, 2020
In a live press conference, Cummings kindly provided a boost to both Barnard Castle’s tourism numbers and British comedians looking for new material.
STRAP IN AND HOLD ON TIGHT KIDS, DADDY'S CHECKING HIS EYESIGHT, YEEEEEEHAWWWWWW — James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 25, 2020
6. When he ~mysteriously~ had a council tax bill written off.
All in it together pic.twitter.com/ZpubTB2yqH — James Doleman (@jamesdoleman) October 13, 2020
The taxes were in relation to two buildings – built without planning permission, it’s worth adding – owned by the Cummings family in Durham. Coincidentally, it’s the same property where he fled with his family during lockdown. Double naughty. In today’s episode of One Rule For Us, One Rule For Them: pic.twitter.com/QHRK4feMmj — David Schneider (@davidschneider) October 14, 2020 7. When he did the unthinkable and actually wore a suit to work. New term, new uniform? A rare sight – Dominic Cummings in a suit… pic.twitter.com/Fyv21qJ71L — Daniel Hewitt (@DanielHewittITV) September 1, 2020 This wouldn’t be a career highlight for most people, but Cummings usual outfit resembles that of a man forced into an impromptu outfit change after being an accidental accomplice to a bloody crime. when your probation officer tells you to wear something smart to court pic.twitter.com/uPPGPHfMsU — Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) September 1, 2020 8. And in other fashion news, when he almost bared his arse to the world.
State of Cummings. pic.twitter.com/831wKJNXw8 — Full Context Richard (@theboz_boz) January 6, 2020
There’s not much to add to this one, other than to reiterate that the government’s most senior advisor struggles with the concept of belts.
Can't believe we got outmaneuvered twice by a man who's barely mastered keeping his anus on the inside of his trousershttps://t.co/E9hciVrV8j — James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 6, 2020
9. When he nonsensically rambled about a kids’ TV show when asked a simple question by a reporter.
Dominic Cummings says "we need PJ Masks on the job" Asked for his response to the government's decision to go ahead with HS2, the PM's senior adviser channels the crime-fighting superheroes and says: "The night time is the right time to fight crime"https://t.co/62QwKDsUwN pic.twitter.com/2nw0PAZiV7 — BBC Politics (@BBCPolitics) February 11, 2020
For those out of the loop, PJ Masks is an animated children’s show about kids who transform into superheroes during the night – their relation to matters regarding HS2, or any other planned high-speed railway, remains unclear.
I can't get enough of Dominic Cummings thinking he is a genius but actually being a certifiable nobheadpic.twitter.com/eYzlGDUzBC — dave ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@mrdavemacleod) February 11, 2020
10. When Mark Francois threatened the army with the ultimate weapon: Dominic Cummings.
Mark Francois to Britain's top general: "Cummings is gonna come down and sort you out his own way and you won't like it" Confirming the country is under the control of an unelected dictator. pic.twitter.com/p1hg2qvxtg — JackJazz (@JayJay08752584) July 7, 2020
We never got to find out if the general’s time spent in Kosovo, Basra & Afghanistan had prepared him for a face-to-face meeting with Cummings.
Mark Francois to Britain's top general: "Please nip back to the department and ask them to sort their bloody selves out because if not Cummings is gonna come down and sort you out his own way and you won't like it" His face says it all. pic.twitter.com/1x09w3580Q — Dan O'Donoghue (@MrDanDonoghue) July 7, 2020
11. And finally, when he left Downing Street clutching a cardboard box.
Breaking news: Dominic Cummings, Boris Johnson's chief adviser, has resigned from his Number 10 job with immediate effect, according to reports. This was Mr Cummings leaving Downing Street in the last hour carrying a box.https://t.co/tY3atu7l6s pic.twitter.com/QG1uQHA5dP — ITV News (@itvnews) November 13, 2020
Instead of simply using one of the many, more private side entrances to No10., he chose to roleplay an American sitcom character and publicly walked out of the front door carrying his work belongings inside a cardboard box.
Dominic Cummings leaving Downing Street is much better when set to the Imperial March #DominicGoing pic.twitter.com/k1kZqFuH4q — Gully Burrows (@gully_burrows) November 13, 2020
READ MORE
Cummings is going – 17 favourite farewells to Dominic Cummings


thepoke--2020-11-17--This woman couldn’t find the light switch and her face when she finds out why is a proper picture

The problem with light switches … is there a problem with light switches ?
Well , if there is a problem with light switches , it ’ s that they are not always where you would expect to find them .
So spare a thought for this particular woman , where the light switch was not only in an unexpected place , she couldn ’ t find one at all .
And her face when she realises why is a proper picture .
‘ My wife may be slightly special 😂💀 # fyp # foryou # hilarious # wife , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on TikTok .
People had questions , as you might expect .
‘ My thought is they just moved in here .
That ’ s how I can sleep at night knowing this exists.
’ Vaguely_trans ‘ And yet , for some reason , the light switches off when it ’ s night time and I want to go to bed !
It ’ s almost like it ’ s alive… ’ patrick-thegamerdad ‘ This was probably her first day in the house.
’ OnlyMe9541 ‘ Looks like military housing .
So , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you ’ d never seen a skylight before , and it uses frosted glass and just happens to look like a fluorescent light , I think you get a pass if you catch on that quick.
’ dementorpoop And just two other things people said after it was shared by LF_4 over on Reddit .
‘ When I was a kid , anyone that had a skylight was rich.
’ wheniwascake ‘ One time I asked my dad what the sky light was and he told me it was “ an emergency exit @ @ @ @ @ @ @ side.
” ’ casedia ‘ It ’ s on a timer .
Goes off at night.
’ defenselaywer It ’ s impossible to exaggerate how brilliantly this nails this Princess Diana clip from the Crown

Videos
The problem with light switches … is there a problem with light switches? Well, if there is a problem with light switches, it’s that they are not always where you would expect to find them.
So spare a thought for this particular woman, where the light switch was not only in an unexpected place, she couldn’t find one at all. And her face when she realises why is a proper picture.
The clip was shared by her husband over on TikTok and, well, have a watch for yourself.
People had questions, as you might expect.
‘And yet, for some reason, the light switches off when it’s night time and I want to go to bed! It’s almost like it’s alive…’
patrick-thegamerdad ‘My thought is they just moved in here. That’s how I can sleep at night knowing this exists.’ Vaguely_trans ‘This was probably her first day in the house.’ OnlyMe9541 ‘Looks like military housing. So, sounds about right.’ Firex3_ ‘If you’d never seen a skylight before, and it uses frosted glass and just happens to look like a fluorescent light, I think you get a pass if you catch on that quick.’ dementorpoop
And just two other things people said after it was shared by LF_4 over on Reddit.
‘When I was a kid, anyone that had a skylight was rich.’ wheniwascake ‘One time I asked my dad what the sky light was and he told me it was “an emergency exit for if the house tips on its side.”’ casedia ‘It’s on a timer. Goes off at night.’ defenselaywer
READ MORE
It’s impossible to exaggerate how brilliantly this nails this Princess Diana clip from the Crown
Source TikTok @tatertot_xx Reddit u/LF_4


thepoke--2020-11-17--It’s impossible to exaggerate how brilliantly this nails this Princess Diana clip from the Crown

Lots of people have been talking about The Crown after it started its fourth series on Netflix , which introduces @ @ @ @ @ into the mix .
And of all the things we ’ ve read , nothing @ @ @ @ @ show quite so perfectly as this , by @ hannahtindle over on Twitter .
And @ @ @ @ @ last time we wrote how well someone ’ s comment perfectly captured what they had @ @ @ @ @ This feels like it was a lifetime ago , but it ’ s still very @ @ @ @ @ ’ s fury at inaccuracies in The Crown is so perfect it can ’ t @ @ @ @ @ ?

Videos
Lots of people have been talking about The Crown after it started its fourth series on Netflix, which introduces Princess Diana and Margaret Thatcher into the mix.
And of all the things we’ve read, nothing nails a clip from the show quite so perfectly as this, by @hannahtindle over on Twitter.
Me on a Zoom call pretending I’m listening and not just looking at myself pic.twitter.com/NzcZhZQvIt — Hannah Tindle (@hannahtindle) November 16, 2020
100% that.
And it reminded us of the last time we wrote how well someone’s comment perfectly captured what they had just watched on telly. This feels like it was a lifetime ago, but it’s still very funny.
It’s 4am. You are on the way to the 24 hour garage for some Rizlas and two tins of Lilt. The rozzers stop you. Your mate has had loads of whizz but you are peaking on a Purple Ohm.
pic.twitter.com/QxCQGUJQmH — Just Some Fella (@EddyRhead) March 28, 2019
READ MORE
This Telegraph reader’s fury at inaccuracies in The Crown is so perfect it can’t be real … can it?
Source @hannahtindle


thepoke--2020-11-17--This American politician calling out his colleagues for not wearing a mask is brilliantly done

To the Senate – not a phrase we use every often , where Democratic Senator Sherrod Brown had a point @ @ @ @ @ wearing masks .
Specifically , his colleagues in the Senate and the Republican Senator who @ @ @ @ @ session , Dan Sullivan .
And he makes his point very well indeed .
And @ @ @ @ @ things people said about it .

Videos
To the Senate – not a phrase we use every often, where Democratic Senator Sherrod Brown had a point to make about people not wearing masks.
Specifically, his colleagues in the Senate and the Republican Senator who was presiding over this particular session, Dan Sullivan.
And he makes his point very well indeed.
Give Sen. Sherrod Brown all the props for calling out the maskless GOP Senators pic.twitter.com/kXnKlLOn9K — Icculus The Brave (@FirenzeMike) November 17, 2020
Bravo!
And just a few of the things people said about it.
It's called exhibiting the courage of your convictions. And, it's in short supply today. Thank you @SenSherrodBrown #COVID19 https://t.co/AZehWJi1ac — Neal Moore (@indyjournalist) November 17, 2020
Brown is an absolute badass. Good job Ohio. — Katie Porter’s Whiteboard’s Dog (@quigleythepug) November 17, 2020
Please give Senator Sherrod Brown a standing ovation for calling out all of the the maskless-cowards in the GOP… pic.twitter.com/Lx7yeUJI6A — Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) November 17, 2020
Sherrod Brown is the voice we all need today — Garfield’s Ghost (@Occamsreznor) November 17, 2020
READ MORE
Another covidiot destroyed by facts
Source @FirenzeMike @RexChapman


thepoke--2020-11-17--Chips, tests and vaccines – our 11 favourite new lockdown laughs

England is almost halfway through its four-week lockdown and Scotland is about to ramp up its measures to Tier 4 @ @ @ @ @ banging out some very funny takes on the pandemic .
We ’ ve collected a @ @ @ @ @ enjoyment .
Lockdown laughs : our 12 favourite funny takes on the pandemic ’ s @

Twitter
England is almost halfway through its four-week lockdown and Scotland is about to ramp up its measures to Tier 4, but tweeters are still banging out some very funny takes on the pandemic.
We’ve collected a few of them for your enjoyment.
1.
Interestingly, the word ‘vaccine’ comes from the Latin ‘vacca’ meaning ‘cow’, because since the late 18th Century vaccines have been used to cow the populace into submission with microchips. — David QC (@DavidMuttering) November 16, 2020
2.
2020:
Jan- Fuck
Feb- Fuck's this?
Mar: Oh fuck
Apr: Fuuuuuuccckkkk!
May: Fuck fuck fuck
Jun: Jesus suffering fuck
Jul: Fuck it
Aug: Fuck sake
Sep: Fucking hell
Oct: Fuck a duck
Nov: FUCKIN' YES!! — joe heenan (@joeheenan) November 14, 2020
3.
To be honest, I'm now delighted we're on lockdown again because if I had to go out with this self-haircut the local children would be terrified. — I Am Incorrigible FCA (@ImIncorrigible) November 16, 2020
4.
Boris Johnson told to self-isolate, after Test and Trace app alerts him to having coronavirus seven months ago. — Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) November 16, 2020
5.
Dining out in 2021.
“… and would Sir like to see the vaccine list?” — Mike Keenan (@mikekeenan) November 16, 2020
6.
Imagine if covid happened in 2001 when all we had was snake on the nokia 3310 — Rachael (@RachaelvsWorld) November 16, 2020
7.
As Moderna announce successful trials of a Coronavirus vaccine, conspiracy theorists announce they're trialling a new and stupider theory — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) November 16, 2020
8.
do you put the milk in your tea first or the covid pic.twitter.com/CAjollg1r7 — Zoë Tomalin (@ZoeTomalin) November 16, 2020
9.
If we're gonna have chips injected into our veins can I vote for McDonald's — Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) November 16, 2020
10.
Boris Johnson ’fit as a butcher’s dog.’ That butcher’s dog now has canine coronavirus, distemper, ticks, fleas, worms and mange. Probably rabies. — Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) November 16, 2020
11.
Social Distancing Tip:
If you aren't sure how far 2m is, trying using 2 feet instead. pic.twitter.com/L7CyX2IiB8 — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) November 16, 2020
READ MORE
Lockdown laughs: our 12 favourite funny takes on the pandemic’s progress
Image Sepet and Sam Moqadam on Unsplash,


thepoke--2020-11-17--The takedown of this anti-vaxxer was heaven sent

The relief that a vaccine for Covid-19 appears to be on its way was tempered somewhat by the fear that @ @ @ @ @ refuse to take it because , you know , microchips and stuff .
This particular @ @ @ @ @ we don ’ t think it ’ s satire – had this point to make @ @ @ @ @ else besides Jim Felton had the perfect response .
This doctor ’ s ‘ space @ @ @ @ @ Musk is out of this world

Twitter
The relief that a vaccine for Covid-19 appears to be on its way was tempered somewhat by the fear that a lot of people will refuse to take it because, you know, microchips and stuff.
This particular anti-vaxxer had this point to make and they can’t possibly have been serious. Can they?
And author and much else besides Jim Felton had the perfect response.
Boom.
I probably wouldn’t look after my health if I could pop back up again like mario — James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 16, 2020
and you can be damned sure he got tetanus from those nails — Will (@Popher) November 16, 2020
Did he not die in his 30s? — AlanMK (@AlanMK17) November 16, 2020
To be fair I’m fairly sure you can’t get a vaccine against execution — James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 16, 2020
READ MORE
This doctor’s ‘space Karen’ takedown of Elon Musk is out of this world
Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-11-17--This Anti-masker needn’t worry about their oxygen levels now that they’ve been murdered by words

It can be difficult to understand why some people have such a strong objection to being asked to wear a little piece of cloth on their faces that they ’ re prepared to risk their community ’ s health to make a point .
The idea that there ’ s a global conspiracy behind mask-wearing , rather than a global pandemic , has a surprising amount of traction .
This now-deleted post shows the kind of thing anti-maskers seem to have bought into .
But one person had the perfect response , and we ’ d have loved to see @ @ @ @ @ @ @ read it .
Is it any wonder that the screenshots ended up on the r/MurderedByWords subreddit ?
It is like people who think the govt want to secretly inject them with tracking devices and vaccines are the cover by which they will inject you with it .
These same people spouting utter nonsense on Facebook , a social media platform that already has your name , details and tracks you , not to mention your phone all the time it has an internet connection .
When the vaccinations start I want to run @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for chip removal .
Hit them with a Tazer and tell them now that it ’ s dead this magnetically charged essential oil will draw it out of their body .
Cha ching , there ’ s another 50 bucks .
I couldn ’ t believe how fucking stupid people like my parents were when they were shocked to learn that Google Maps knows where you ’ ve been when you ’ ve had location on and given it permission to use that info every time for years .

Weird World
It can be difficult to understand why some people have such a strong objection to being asked to wear a little piece of cloth on their faces that they’re prepared to risk their community’s health to make a point.
The idea that there’s a global conspiracy behind mask-wearing, rather than a global pandemic, has a surprising amount of traction.
This now-deleted post shows the kind of thing anti-maskers seem to have bought into.
But one person had the perfect response, and we’d have loved to see the anti-masker’s face when they read it.
“You honestly think they’re controlling you by telling you not to spit on other people.“
Is it any wonder that the screenshots ended up on the r/MurderedByWords subreddit?
Here’s how Reddit users reacted to u/beerbellybegone‘s post.
Vegan_Puffin It is like people who think the govt want to secretly inject them with tracking devices and vaccines are the cover by which they will inject you with it. These same people spouting utter nonsense on Facebook, a social media platform that already has your name, details and tracks you, not to mention your phone all the time it has an internet connection.
Obi_Sirius When the vaccinations start I want to run an ad on Craigslist. $100 for chip removal. Hit them with a Tazer and tell them now that it’s dead this magnetically charged essential oil will draw it out of their body. Cha ching, there’s another 50 bucks.
TheBreathofFiveSouls I bet they all have bank accounts and rarely use cash either. So stupid
TheMightyBattleSquid I couldn’t believe how fucking stupid people like my parents were when they were shocked to learn that Google Maps knows where you’ve been when you’ve had location on and given it permission to use that info every time for years.
u/Broken_Noah posted this wistful response.
If only the government would control my life. Hopefully they can provide it some direction.
Good luck with that.
from Bojo GIFs via Gfycat
READ MORE
This anti-masker’s self-own is simply perfect
Source r/MurderedByWords Image r/MurderedByWords


thepoke--2020-11-17--Sarah Cooper’s incompetent Trump lawyer sketch was so believable it completely fooled Colin Hanks

It ’ s almost unnerving to see Sarah Cooper ‘ s lips moving without hearing Donald Trump ‘ s words come out , after the actor and comedian made lip-synchs of the President her own .
Here are a couple of examples to remind you just how brilliant she is at it .
This time , however , we get to hear Sarah ’ s real voice – modified for the character – as she imagines how a Trump lawyer might present one of his ridiculous challenges to the court .
She threw this into the mix , just to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Colin Hanks , for example , was truly torn between the two possibilities – which says as much about the sheer stupidity of everyone surrounding the President as it does about Sarah ’ s talent .
Quite the emotional rollercoaster for Colin and quite mind-blowing that it seemed at least plausible .
He wasn ’ t the only one to appreciate the hilarious parody – or to be confused by it .
One lawyer had this devastating observation .
We ’ d like to submit Exhibit A for the court ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ How to regret ” nails the turmoil behind Trump ’ s weird rally rant

Videos
It’s almost unnerving to see Sarah Cooper‘s lips moving without hearing Donald Trump‘s words come out, after the actor and comedian made lip-synchs of the President her own.
Here are a couple of examples to remind you just how brilliant she is at it.
How to tick tack (with captions by @KaitMartin_1) pic.twitter.com/fCgkUCMJyb — Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) August 1, 2020
This time, however, we get to hear Sarah’s real voice – modified for the character – as she imagines how a Trump lawyer might present one of his ridiculous challenges to the court.
I’m a lawyer for the Trump campaign pic.twitter.com/19YFlU8qDg — Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) November 16, 2020
She threw this into the mix, just to mess with us all.
Yes this is a lip sync from a court hearing today https://t.co/mI1vPJr4HN — Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) November 16, 2020
It worked. Colin Hanks, for example, was truly torn between the two possibilities – which says as much about the sheer stupidity of everyone surrounding the President as it does about Sarah’s talent.
I have gone on a roller coaster ride, thinking this was real, then NOT thinking it was and feeling sad that it was so crazy I thought it was real, only to find out IT’S FUCKING REAL. IT’S A THING SOMEONE SAID IN REAL LIFE https://t.co/K0VxqqbWjp — Colin Hanks (@ColinHanks) November 17, 2020
But no …
It's not real I'm so sorry Colin Hanks — Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) November 17, 2020
Quite the emotional rollercoaster for Colin and quite mind-blowing that it seemed at least plausible.
He wasn’t the only one to appreciate the hilarious parody – or to be confused by it.
Possibly my favorite of hers so far. https://t.co/2c9hgDx2SJ — William Gibson (@GreatDismal) November 17, 2020
This was… something a lawyer, who passed the Bar exam, said in court, before a judge, in regards to an election in the United States… today? … Wow… So apparently being a lawyer is super easy and stuff. She probably went to Harvard Total Landscaping for her degree. — Customer Rules (@PeteLarrivee) November 16, 2020
Dead on. Giuliani is calling… https://t.co/YCdq3l31a6 — LCDR L/Dmax ✈ Call the Election (@Mega_Pixls) November 16, 2020
One lawyer had this devastating observation.
This actually makes more sense than some of the cases. https://t.co/hkpwfFNKzT — Seán Jones #ContinuityRemainiac (@seanjonesqc) November 16, 2020
We’d like to submit Exhibit A for the court’s perusal.
Trump Lawyers in AZ on Friday:
Judge: Those 243 pages of voter fraud allegation testimonies that you presented, are those true?
Trump Lawyer: We don't know because there was no CAPTCHA on the web form.
Judge: So you are saying they are baseless?
Trump Lawyer: Yes, your honor — Mark 1010 (@MarzzNyc) November 16, 2020
READ MORE
Sarah Cooper’s “How to regret” nails the turmoil behind Trump’s weird rally rant
Source Sarah Cooper Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-11-17--“The wrong footballer bought an expensive house” beautifully nails racist double standards

With the recent Daily Mail hatchet job on Marcus Rashford ‘ s property investments , the double standard of certain @ @ @ @ @ again fallen under the harsh spotlight of public opinion .
While columnists have written paragraphs @ @ @ @ @ was flooded with individuals ’ condemnation of the racism behind it , comedy group The @ @ @ @ @ with this devastatingly accurate , yet hilarious , parody .
The reactions say it all @ @ @ @ @ Anthony Richardson shared this depressing reason for not making the sketch sooner .
You can @ @ @ @ @ Twitter , Facebook and YouTube to be sure not to miss any of their satirical @ @ @ @ @ at how Marcus Rashford spends his own money and Twitter ruled it offside – 17 @ @

Videos
With the recent Daily Mail hatchet job on Marcus Rashford‘s property investments, the double standard of certain factions of society has once again fallen under the harsh spotlight of public opinion.
Ok, so let’s address this. I’m 23. I came from little. I need to protect not just my future but my family’s too. To do that I made a decision at the beg of 2020 to start investing more in property. Please don’t run stories like this alongside refs to ‘campaigning’. pic.twitter.com/coqla2i19d — Marcus Rashford MBE (@MarcusRashford) November 15, 2020
While columnists have written paragraphs on the injustice and Twitter was flooded with individuals’ condemnation of the racism behind it, comedy group The Exploding Heads approached the issue with this devastatingly accurate, yet hilarious, parody.
The moment the wrong type of footballer bought an expensive house. pic.twitter.com/fe35iyOaLq — The Exploding Heads (@Exploding_Heads) November 16, 2020
“Although it is exactly the same price and exactly the same circumstances, this one feels different.”
The reactions say it all.
Spot on this 👏 https://t.co/ul1kugrlBT — Jon Benn (@jonnydaowl) November 16, 2020
The Exploding Heads’ Anthony Richardson shared this depressing reason for not making the sketch sooner.
I've been meaning to write this one for a while but I thought (and hoped) that it wouldn't be relevant anymore. https://t.co/7ObGkYsF8D — Anthony Richardson (@AMHRichardson) November 16, 2020
You can follow The Exploding Heads on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube to be sure not to miss any of their satirical gold.
READ MORE
The Mail sniped at how Marcus Rashford spends his own money and Twitter ruled it offside – 17 stunning takedowns
Source The Exploding Heads Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-11-17--Laurence Fox’s vaccination warning for Matt Hancock was funny – but these 11 takedowns were funnier

With two apparently promising vaccines on the horizon , Matt Hancock spoke to Julia Hartley-Brewer about the possibility of there @ @ @ @ @ their roll-out .
Unsurprisingly , it was a fairly incendiary statement , picking up quite @ @ @ @ @ like these : One person had an alternative suggestion for dealing with non-compliance .
But @ @ @ @ @ Fox , wanted to send a message directly to Matt Hancock , and he went @ @ @ @ @ police officers .
Four police officers .
FOUR POLICE OFFICERS !
Needless to say , @ @ @ @ @ to his big words .
Author and historian , Louise Raw might have been onto @ @ @ @ @ Laurence Fox tried to change his hat to ‘ Trump 2024 ’ and failed miserably

Twitter
With two apparently promising vaccines on the horizon, Matt Hancock spoke to Julia Hartley-Brewer about the possibility of there being a compulsory element to their roll-out.
Health Secretary Matt Hancock refuses to rule out mandatory Covid vaccinations: "I've learned not to rule things out during this pandemic because you have to watch what happens and make judgements accordingly."@JuliaHB1 | @MattHancock Watch in full ► https://t.co/T7elVVVeNh pic.twitter.com/FfFvnmRaVs — talkRADIO (@talkRADIO) November 16, 2020
Unsurprisingly, it was a fairly incendiary statement, picking up quite a few irate reactions, like these:
Censorship and medical coercion. Not a new thing, is it? https://t.co/flrsLH5k91 — Andrea Trunzo (@Keroppo) November 16, 2020
You cannot make vaccinations mandatory. If someone stabs you with a needle then that is assault — Ash 🇬🇧🇺🇸🇨🇦🇩🇰🇮🇸🇮🇱🏉🏏🏍 (@FlashMuellerF30) November 16, 2020
One person had an alternative suggestion for dealing with non-compliance.
Folk who refuse Vaccinations should be made to continue Self Isolating at home to protect others! — Percy Cross (@PercyCross3) November 16, 2020
But recently sacked actor, Laurence Fox, wanted to send a message directly to Matt Hancock, and he went full low-budget gangster.
Four police officers. Four police officers. FOUR POLICE OFFICERS!
Needless to say, there was quite a reaction to his big words.
1.
Thankfully Laurence you dont need to vaccinate everybody, just enough people. There are those who have legitimate medical reasons, and then those who throw a hissy fit for attention. https://t.co/zeyxlU1poH — Dr Ben 'Ward Viking' Janaway (@drjanaway) November 16, 2020
2.
chill out Jackie Chan, you don't need to say it because you clearly couldn't fight your way out of a wet paper bag https://t.co/C9GpmxQAm2 — dan hett (@danhett) November 16, 2020
3.
Q: How many policeman does it take to vaccinate a Laurence Fox. A: Four: One to vaccinate him, and three to clean up all of the shit in his nappy. https://t.co/bDh0YFcbvZ — They're not incompetent, they're malicious (@WhatEvil) November 16, 2020
4.
You couldn't break a KitKat, mate. https://t.co/Q7bHom6MB0 — Mike Stuchbery 💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) November 16, 2020
5.
“But it’s just a little prick” said the first cop. “Yes, but he’s scared of needles”, explained another. https://t.co/aeQIe7OLtU — Dli O'Doir (@dli_odoir) November 16, 2020
6.
Just bore them to death with one of your 'songs' mate…. https://t.co/a1wam2wqTl — BIDEN 46 (@notfittoserve) November 16, 2020
7.
Hahahahaha. Big talk from a man who cries at brown people in war films I reckon a Jack Russell with gingivitis could bring Laurence Fox down. pic.twitter.com/y2HbleVESs — Mark Hebden (@unionlib) November 16, 2020
8.
Hi Bill Gates. We have a Code 22 with this massive fanny. Requesting covert ops vaccine deployment team. https://t.co/MXem8CvJlH — Gavin Curnow (@GavinCurnow) November 16, 2020
9.
“There goes Hancock, trying to take away the last vestiges of Laurence Fox’s personal freedom again…” pic.twitter.com/CsM9nW2wBr — Matthew Smith (@utb_smith) November 16, 2020
10.
The biggest "ooh, you're hard" in history. Four coppers fs. built like a jockey's whip https://t.co/IdKbfXsjxA — Ross McCafferty (@RossMcCaff) November 16, 2020
11.
"She's taken the last vestiges of my personal freedom." pic.twitter.com/5Ahy1Z5dKS — Woodo (@Mister_Woodo) November 16, 2020
Author and historian, Louise Raw might have been onto something with this observation.
If someone got the pay-per-view rights to Laurence Fox fighting the cops and Trump being forcibly removed from the White House, they’d be set for life https://t.co/KmZUnXXjcs — Dr Louise Raw (@LouiseRawAuthor) November 16, 2020
READ MORE
Laurence Fox tried to change his hat to ‘Trump 2024’ and failed miserably
Source Laurence Fox Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-11-17--The 14 funniest reactions to The Crown season 4

The Crown Season 4 has finally landed on Netflix , this time depicting the life of the royal family between @ @ @ @ @ show ’ s fourth season deals with the arrival of Princess Diana , the Queen @ @ @ @ @ Minister Margaret Thatcher , and Prince Charles , well , just being Prince Charles .
@ @ @ @ @ the drama , there was still room for hilarious tweets – here are 14 of @ @ @ @ @ s impossible to exaggerate how brilliantly this nails this Princess Diana clip from the Crown

Pics
The Crown Season 4 has finally landed on Netflix, this time depicting the life of the royal family between 1977 and 1990.
The show’s fourth season deals with the arrival of Princess Diana, the Queen’s relationship with Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, and Prince Charles, well, just being Prince Charles.
Luckily, amongst all of the drama, there was still room for hilarious tweets – here are 14 of the best:
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Wow, absolutely LOVED the season finale of #TheCrown. When Princess Diana murdered the entire royal family at the Christmas party and burned down their little castle, I was like “that’s my girl.” 10/10. — Saeed Jones (@theferocity) November 16, 2020
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when we get to #TheCrown season 49 Boris Johnson will surely be played by a sack of potatoes — dave ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@mrdavemacleod) November 16, 2020
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Prince Charles: *marries a teenager with unresolved trauma* Princess Diana: *acts like a teenager with unresolved trauma* Prince Charles:#TheCrown pic.twitter.com/HiYz2IIHbP — Hillary Banks (@soniamariesays) November 16, 2020
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Princess Diana up in heaven watching The Crown season 4 radicalise a new generation into hating Prince Charles. pic.twitter.com/LR0ekB2omi — Ash Sarkar (@AyoCaesar) November 16, 2020
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Anyone else catch the mouse casually strolling past the Queen Mother in Episode 3? #TheCrown pic.twitter.com/6OWynlTFjn — MojoMovies (@mojomoviesyt) November 15, 2020
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I’m only a few episodes in but I can’t believe how spectacular The Crown season 4 is already. pic.twitter.com/JVOvZjgmHn — Michael Yerxa (@mikeyerxa) November 16, 2020
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Charles: while I’m gone I’ve told Camilla to reach out to you if you need something
Diana and the rest of us:
#TheCrown pic.twitter.com/DNNncbbc8O — Ms. Scarlett Vanderbelt (@SHAYSrebellionn) November 15, 2020
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Camilla realizing she’s trending because the reputation she’s spent decades rebuilding, was once again torn apart (rightfully so) by season 4 of the #TheCrown pic.twitter.com/uLiIfX9Hfy — Sonali Sahni (@sonalixsahni) November 16, 2020
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My dearest wish is that The Crown continues to the point where one season has the characters from The Crown watching The Crown — Paul F. Tompkins (@PFTompkins) November 17, 2020
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What I’m learning from The Crown is that, when not wearing gowns, Princess Diana dressed like a child who murdered their parents. pic.twitter.com/gIbxUrxgcX — Daniel Kibblesmith (@kibblesmith) November 17, 2020
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this is the tweet that made me decide to watch this season of the crown https://t.co/M75FZ2t8TJ — mark (@kept_simple) November 17, 2020
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It’s impossible to exaggerate how brilliantly this nails this Princess Diana clip from the Crown


thepoke--2020-11-17--This student house went viral because its layout is so hilariously impractical

If you ’ ve ever lived in a shared student house then chances are it probably wasn ’ t the @ @ @ @ @ ve ever called home .
But this university digs – do people still call them @ @ @ @ @ level stuff and went wildly viral because its layout is just so … impractical .
@ @ @ @ @ with honours in not thinking stuff through .
Here ’ s what @ tamaraleighhh said @ @ @ @ @ it on Twitter , and just some of our favourite responses .
This woman couldn @ @ @ @ @ switch and her face when she finds out why is a proper picture

Videos
If you’ve ever lived in a shared student house then chances are it probably wasn’t the most comfortable place you’ve ever called home.
But this university digs – do people still call them digs? – is next level stuff and went wildly viral because its layout is just so … impractical.
Earns a first class degree with honours in not thinking stuff through.
Here’s what @tamaraleighhh said about it when she shared it on Twitter, and just some of our favourite responses.
I don’t know which is worse, the access to the garden or the window blocked by the stairs? — M (@Nyoni_Michelle) November 15, 2020
I think the toilet door not being able to close is a literal nightmare — Sarah Tonin (@helenaalexo) November 15, 2020
soooo you’re washing your hands with toilet water basically — partynextdior (@diorsofabb) November 15, 2020
or you’re flushing the toilet with sink water. pretty smart, but executed so wrong😂 — libaan.ay🦉 (@YusufLibaan) November 15, 2020
Am I the only who noticed she had bananas on a plate with ketchup 😭😭😭😭 — T.0 (@prettyl61747689) November 15, 2020
shit i didnt see the ketchup😭🤢if thats what she’s eating she deserves to live there — Tam💓 (@tamaraleighhh) November 15, 2020
READ MORE
This woman couldn’t find the light switch and her face when she finds out why is a proper picture
Source TikTok @yelenazylko Twitter @tamaraleighhh


thepoke--2020-11-17--11 times Dominic Cummings made the news for all the wrong reasons


thepoke--2020-11-18--19 brilliantly bad shop puns you’d only ever find in Britain

If there ’ s one thing that British people are unquestionably the best at , it ’ s taking a @ @ @ @ @ with it .
Want proof ?
Just check out these 19 beautifully named businesses…

Pics
If there’s one thing that British people are unquestionably the best at, it’s taking a terrible groan-worthy pun and running with it.
Want proof? Just check out these 19 beautifully named businesses…
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thepoke--2020-11-18--‘What sounds like a compliment but really isn’t a compliment?’ – 23 favourite replies

It all started when PhD student Joseph Mellors had a question for people on Twitter .
And it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ a chord – it really struck a chord – and here are our favourite 23 @ @

Twitter
It all started when PhD student Joseph Mellors had a question for people on Twitter.
What sounds like a COMPLIMENT but really isn’t a COMPLIMENT? — Joseph Mellors (@realmellors) November 15, 2020
And it’s fair to say it struck a chord – it really struck a chord – and here are our favourite 23 responses.
1.
You look so much better [without your glasses/with your hair down/when you wear that]
So basically my normal look isn’t very nice, gotcha — snowbee🌻❄ (@bumblebees_exe) November 15, 2020
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As an amateur photographer: “Wow, what an amazing image. You must have a very expensive camera.” — Raphael Lemkin (@Lemkin43) November 15, 2020
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“This is a GREAT start!” https://t.co/u2ea9ptWdO — Pamela Colloff (@pamelacolloff) November 17, 2020
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“Wow you’re so brave” for doing literally anything as a disabled person — Kay (@hotmail_kay) November 15, 2020
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“You’re so much prettier in person!” https://t.co/cSEHQF5Or4 — Bebe Neuwirth (@BebeNeuwirth) November 16, 2020
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When someone thin complains they are fat & you remind them they are 3 sizes smaller than you & they reply “but being bigger suits you”. — cynthia boden (@CynthiaBoden) November 15, 2020
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"This is a good first draft." https://t.co/PpoRGg1RBc — Michael Starrbury (@StarrburyMike) November 16, 2020
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I wish had the confidence you did to wear that! — Hafsa Qureshi (@MsHafsaQureshi) November 15, 2020
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After all I put you through you still stuck by me. You’re a real one https://t.co/PxNyJSulVE — Renè The Leader ❤ (@Rene_noire) November 16, 2020
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You have so much potential! — Elle Em (they/them) (@ellle_em) November 15, 2020
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thepoke--2020-11-18--This dad went viral with the terrifying pics he sends his girlfriend on childcare duty

If you ’ re a parent and you ’ re looking after the kids by yourself because your partner is @ @ @ @ @ doing something else , it ’ s always nice to send them a pic to @ @ @ @ @ them you ’ ve got it all under control .
This dad does it slightly @ @ @ @ @ – you can find him on Instagram here ( his account is called On Adventure @ @ @ @ @ ‘ I Was Shocked When Dad Asked Me To Fix The Electricity ’ 5 .
@ @ @ @ @ ’ m Helping Daddy With Some Work In The Garden ’ And if you want @ @ @ @ @ he is getting up to know , follow him on Instagram now !
This student @ @ @ @ @ layout is so hilariously impractical Source Instagram @ onadventurewithdad H/T BoredPanda

Pics
If you’re a parent and you’re looking after the kids by yourself because your partner is at work or having fun doing something else, it’s always nice to send them a pic to keep them amused and reassure them you’ve got it all under control.
This dad does it slightly differently though. Kenny Deuce – you can find him on Instagram here (his account is called On Adventure With Dad)
“A Year Ago, I Started Sending My GF These Photos Whenever She Asked If The Baby Was OK”
1. ‘The View Here Is Amazing!’
(via @onadventurewithdad)
2. ‘IKEA Feels Like Home’
(via @onadventurewithdad)
3. ‘I Really Like Balloons’
(via @onadventurewithdad)
4. ‘I Was Shocked When Dad Asked Me To Fix The Electricity’
(via @onadventurewithdad)
5. ‘In Lockdown So I’m Helping Daddy With Some Work In The Garden’
(via @onadventurewithdad)
6. ‘I Made Some New Friends’
(via @onadventurewithdad)
7. ‘Reading = Learning’
(via @onadventurewithdad)
The pics went viral after they were shared on Reddit by BitwiseShift and these are our two favourite comments.
‘Jesus. I’m sorry to call you out on being a bad parent, but at least when my baby runs the chop saw she wear protective goggles. Get it together.’ Gohomeyurdrunk ‘I know this is photoshopped and yet my heart is still beating wildly at that baby sitting on the cliff edge.’ london-plane
And if you want to find out what terrors he is getting up to know, follow him on Instagram now!
READ MORE
This student house went viral because its layout is so hilariously impractical
Source Instagram @onadventurewithdad Reddit u/BitwiseShift H/T BoredPanda


thepoke--2020-11-18--Tinder exchange of the week

Tinder exchange of the week

In the latest in an occasional series , Tinder exchange of the week goes to … Talking of Tinder exchanges @ @ @ @ @ reminded us of this one .
And this one .

Popular
In the latest in an occasional series, Tinder exchange of the week goes to …
Talking of Tinder exchanges of the week, it reminded us of this one.
And this one.
And finally!
READ MORE
Simply 12 funny Tinder exchanges
Source Reddit


thepoke--2020-11-18--This ‘Trump supporter’s poll’ is the perfect summary of what’s going on in America right now

With Donald Trump continuing to refuse to concede the election , there are probably more detailed examinations of what ’ @ @ @ @ @ right now .
But as a snapshot this sums up it up pretty well .
@ @ @ @ @ .
Of course they are !
‘ Cheating just like they did in the election @ @ @ @ @ vote for their thing.
’ 5pl1t1nf1n1t1v3 ‘ We ’ re witnessing the greatest conspiracy in @ @ @ @ @ million Americans conspired to steal the election from Trump by voting for Biden instead.
’ @

Twitter
With Donald Trump continuing to refuse to concede the election, there are probably more detailed examinations of what’s going on in America right now.
But as a snapshot this sums up it up pretty well. Plus it’s funny.
Of course they are!
‘Cheating just like they did in the election. By having more people vote for their thing.’ 5pl1t1nf1n1t1v3 ‘Sounds like Commie talk to me.’ down_vote_magnet ‘We’re witnessing the greatest conspiracy in history. More than 77 million Americans conspired to steal the election from Trump by voting for Biden instead.’ ButterMyBiscuit
Source Reddit u/jo_shelly


thepoke--2020-11-18--This is the second most satisfying result to emerge from Joe Biden’s election win over Donald Trump

It turns out Joe Biden ’ s win over Donald Trump – has he conceded yet ?
– wasn ’ @ @ @ @ @ to emerge from the US presidential elections .
There was also this , a Twitter @ @ @ @ @ ‘ facepalm ’ which is , well , have a read for yourself .
Although @ @ @ @ @ pointed out , this is surely too good/weird/awful to be real .
Isn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ trolled this pollster and his brutal comeback won everybody ’ s vote Source Reddit u/EmeraldHorse02

Twitter
It turns out Joe Biden’s win over Donald Trump – has he conceded yet? – wasn’t the only satisfying result to emerge from the US presidential elections.
There was also this, a Twitter exchange shared on the subReddit ‘facepalm’ which is, well, have a read for yourself.
Although, as lots of people pointed out, this is surely too good/weird/awful to be real. Isn’t it?
READ MORE
Donald Trump Jr trolled this pollster and his brutal comeback won everybody’s vote
Source Reddit u/EmeraldHorse02