thepoke--2020-06-30--This Yiddish face mask is selling like hot cakes because of a major spelling gaffe

When a crafter named Sue from the Etsy shop Tees Go Bling decided to create a mask specially for New York ’ s Jewish community , she probably should have found a Yiddish speaker/writer to help her out .
Instead of the Yiddish word shtark , the reversed word spelt a phonetic version of crotch .
You know what they say about good intentions .
One person on Twitter explained what “ NYC crotch ” might be .
Although Sue pulled the $ 15 masks from sale after users alerted her to the problem , she was astonished when people @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
To date , she has sold almost 11,000 of the “ crotch ” masks and has had to extend her delivery time to allow her to keep up with demand .
Customers have posted comments like these : The important thing , to most people , was Sue ’ s attempt to be inclusive .
“ It ’ s always great fun to explain what the mask says but it ’ s even better to talk about the kind and thoughtful intentions that went into making the mask in the first place @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it with joy and pride.
” That sounds like something we all need during a pandemic .

Popular
When a crafter named Sue from the Etsy shop Tees Go Bling decided to create a mask specially for New York’s Jewish community, she probably should have found a Yiddish speaker/writer to help her out.
These face masks were supposed to say “NYC strong” in Yiddish but the Etsy designer didn’t realize that Yiddish is spelled from right to left so they accidentally wrote “NYC crotch” and it’s amazing https://t.co/Mc8bp693cR — Hannah Lebovits (@HannahLebovits) June 28, 2020
Instead of the Yiddish word shtark, the reversed word spelt a phonetic version of crotch.
You know what they say about good intentions.
One person on Twitter explained what “NYC crotch” might be.
It's the condition you get from sitting too long on the subway seats. — Joseph Krausz (@JosephKrausz) June 28, 2020
Although Sue pulled the $15 masks from sale after users alerted her to the problem, she was astonished when people contacted her asking for them to reinstated.
To date, she has sold almost 11,000 of the “crotch” masks and has had to extend her delivery time to allow her to keep up with demand.
Customers have posted comments like these:
“You got to be in the know here to get the joke. Mask is ok, the joke is better!”
“Such a fun item and a great back story! For those with a sense of Yiddish humour, the perfect gift.”
“Very well made; and love the glitter (and the glitch)!”
The important thing, to most people, was Sue’s attempt to be inclusive.
“It’s always great fun to explain what the mask says but it’s even better to talk about the kind and thoughtful intentions that went into making the mask in the first place. I love this mask and wear it with joy and pride.”
That sounds like something we all need during a pandemic.
READ MORE
11 people innocently wearing rather inappropriate t-shirts
Source Fast Forward Image Shamira Gelbman


thepoke--2020-06-30--17 of the most weird and wonderful panoramic photo fails

You ’ ve probably seen this disturbing photo of a cat that was widely shared on Twitter recently , and @ @ @ @ @ If there hasn ’ t been a horrible accident at the cat factory , it @ @ @ @ @ an attempt to create a panoramic photo , which is a tricky old thing to @ @ @ @ @ piqued our curiosity , we headed over to the r/panoramicsgonewrong subreddit , where we found @ @ @ @ @ .
These were our favourites .
1 .
Tried to take a panorama from our @ @ @ @ @ did my boyfriend dirty… 3 .
Two heads are better than one 4 .
When @ @ @ @ @ animagus 8 .
He must pay a fortune for shoes 9 .
“ What kind @ @ @ @ @ have ?
” “ A slinky ”

Pics
You’ve probably seen this disturbing photo of a cat that was widely shared on Twitter recently, and on Facebook before that.
Look at this photo of a cat taken in panorama I just saw on Facebook pic.twitter.com/vJ84ewNcJs — Sarah (@idlewildgirl) June 25, 2020
If there hasn’t been a horrible accident at the cat factory, it’s the result of an attempt to create a panoramic photo, which is a tricky old thing to master.
Once that had piqued our curiosity, we headed over to the r/panoramicsgonewrong subreddit, where we found a lot more like that.
These were our favourites.
1. Tried to take a panorama from our hike today, it really did my boyfriend dirty…
Via
2. Hop to it, Fido
Via
3. Two heads are better than one
Via
4. When your dog is a terrible animagus
Via
5. Accidental medieval art
Via
6. Eat your heart out, Picasso
Via
7. Cerberus – guardian of the Underworld
Via
8. He must pay a fortune for shoes
Via
9. “What kind of a cat do you have?” “A slinky”
Via


thepoke--2020-06-30--“Christopher Nolan directing Michael Caine to say “Never!” in Batman Begins”

Curious about the acting process ?
Big fan of the Batman films ?
Just want a really good laugh ?
@ @ @ @ @ all your bases .
Credit where it ’ s due , Stuart also drew people @ @ @ @ @ costume department for its sterling work .
Although it was posted less than 24 hours @ @ @ @ @ have already stopped by to share the love .
Sir Michael Caine has yet to @ @ @ @ @ comment eventually ?
This passive-aggressive exchange in a café is up there with the best @ @

Videos
Curious about the acting process? Big fan of the Batman films? Just want a really good laugh? Comedian Stuart Laws has covered all your bases.
Christopher Nolan directing Michael Caine to say "Never!" in Batman Begins pic.twitter.com/aGSE6SPhtZ — Stuart Laws (@thisstuartlaws) June 29, 2020
Nailed it.
Credit where it’s due, Stuart also drew people’s attention to the costume department for its sterling work.
Not a single person has acknowledged the costume department who worked through the night to make this possible, thank you to Seamless Transition Ltd xx — Stuart Laws (@thisstuartlaws) June 29, 2020
Although it was posted less than 24 hours ago, plenty of people have already stopped by to share the love.
OMG! This made me laugh so hard. Hilarious! : ) https://t.co/vWQaZZ1lQX — Betty Buckley (@BettyBuckley) June 30, 2020
This cheered today up. https://t.co/sA6lsSjsN0 — Rob Williams (@Robwilliams71) June 29, 2020
This is so funny https://t.co/hVSKWVBmjL — Alex Edelman (@AlexEdelman) June 29, 2020
oh my word this is the funniest thing I have seen in such a long while. it’s the sincerity that gets me. well done mate. 🙏🏻 — Beastflaps (@beastflaps) June 30, 2020
Sir Michael Caine has yet to respond, but will he comment eventually?
via Gfycat
Probably.
READ MORE
This passive-aggressive exchange in a café is up there with the best soap storyline
Source Stuart Laws Image Stuart Laws, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-07-02--Train Guy is back – and this time it’s all about the bobble hats

Although Bob Mortimer ‘ s brilliantly irritating Train Guy has only been a thing since October of last year , @ @ @ @ @ beloved classic character , so we ’ re really happy to see him back .
@ @ @ @ @ Col about developments at work .
It ’ s all about the bobble hats .
@ @ @ @ @ boy , with ya lockdown haircut .
What is it , a number 2 ?
@ @ @ @ @ it looks like shit.
” We weren ’ t the only ones who loved the @ @ @ @ @ a clever little mash-up from the very funny @ TheIDSmiths .
Bob Mortimer ’ s @ @ @ @ @ a whole new spin on Joe Wicks

Videos
Although Bob Mortimer‘s brilliantly irritating Train Guy has only been a thing since October of last year, he already feels like a beloved classic character, so we’re really happy to see him back.
Here he is chatting to Col about developments at work. It’s all about the bobble hats.
Train Guy … Bobble Hats pic.twitter.com/gqgbT7IeTA — bob mortimer (@RealBobMortimer) July 1, 2020
“Look at you, boy, with ya lockdown haircut. What is it, a number 2? I thought so ’cause it looks like shit.”
We weren’t the only ones who loved the latest sketch.
Such a shame about the pencil cases https://t.co/RJ8pU5LHpW — Christina Martin (@christinamartin) July 1, 2020
Might be the greatest contribution to 21st C popular culture https://t.co/cdlkEx7HnG — paddyhoey* (@paddyhoey) July 1, 2020
Misread this as Bobbie Hats and was looking forward to the introduction of a new character. https://t.co/jB6EkCVNlf — Andrew Male (@Andr6wMale) July 1, 2020
Just throwing it out there that I am now going to quit laughing and instead just say "hilario with a rofl on top" 🙆♀ https://t.co/przlamVcny — em #BLACKLIVESMATTER✊🏿 (@emilyinbloom) July 1, 2020
Finally, a clever little mash-up from the very funny @TheIDSmiths.
We knew Train Guy seemed familiar.
READ MORE
Bob Mortimer’s new Train Guy video puts a whole new spin on Joe Wicks
Source Bob Mortimer Image Bob Mortimer


thepoke--2020-07-02--An MP’s phone kept ringing during her speech – so she took drastic action

On Tuesday , Labour MP Claudia Webbe gave a heartfelt speech to the House of Commons during the pre-vote debate @ @ @ @ @ Unfortunately , her phone went off at the worst time and she ended up taking @ @ @ @ @ it .
Twitter was mostly sympathetic – if unable to contain its amusement .
We @ @ @ @ @ was calling , but we fully endorse this .
Michael Gove pouring water over his @ @ @ @ @ all need right now

Videos
On Tuesday, Labour MP Claudia Webbe gave a heartfelt speech to the House of Commons during the pre-vote debate on the Immigration Bill.
Unfortunately, her phone went off at the worst time and she ended up taking drastic action.
Sensational stuff from Claudia Webbe in the Commons, who decides the only way to shut her phone up is to smash it onto the chamber floor pic.twitter.com/tOdEIYD2JK — Alain Tolhurst (@Alain_Tolhurst) June 30, 2020
That stopped it. Twitter was mostly sympathetic – if unable to contain its amusement.
Reminds me of when I was in court (reporting) and phone decided to burst into loud drum n bass. I couldn't smash it on the floor quickly enough — Kate Ferguson (@kateferguson4) June 30, 2020
Obviously it's a very serious and striking time in politics with #leicesterlockdown but if this doesn't make smile you're made of stonehttps://t.co/ypJEdjUSFp — Dan Martin (@Danjamesmartin) June 30, 2020
We don’t know who was calling, but we fully endorse this.
Reasonable response to someone calling without WhatsApping first. Should be considered a form of GBH really. https://t.co/AC23jXN93Z — Ash Sarkar (@AyoCaesar) June 30, 2020
READ MORE
Michael Gove pouring water over his phone is the content we all need right now
Source Indy100 Image Alain Tolhurst


thepoke--2020-07-02--The government seriously misread the room with a tweet about the pubs reopening – 14 devastating own

The government seriously misread the room with a tweet about the pubs reopening – 14 devastating owns

The jury is out on whether the pubs should be opening on Saturday , and how safe it is .
@ @ @ @ @ social distancing after three pints of lager and a couple of sneaky shots ?
However @ @ @ @ @ such qualms in the Treasury – the government department that doesn ’ t even pretend @ @ @ @ @ about the money – as they tweeted this : The backlash was swift and thorough @

Twitter
The jury is out on whether the pubs should be opening on Saturday, and how safe it is.
Are customers going to maintain social distancing after three pints of lager and a couple of sneaky shots?
However, there were clearly no such qualms in the Treasury – the government department that doesn’t even pretend it isn’t all about the money – as they tweeted this:
The backlash was swift and thorough.
1.
Just to be clear, a comms team is persuading you to drink loads without seeming like they were encouraging you to get absolutely fucked, by settling on a Pimms animation. https://t.co/qx1DkazOHn — rufus jones (@rufusjones1) July 1, 2020
2.
3.
Did… did coronavirus write this https://t.co/ILU7JP0PAH — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 1, 2020
4.
This is the perfect tone to strike when 43,000 people have died and you need people to act responsibly if you want to prevent thousands more. You are so good at this. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 1, 2020
5.
Have ever thought of being, y’know… not bastards? — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) July 1, 2020
6.
Thanks, guys! What shall we drink to?
Daily deaths of 176?
Track and trace still barely working?
The abandoning of the app?
The chaos in A&Es on Saturday night?https://t.co/6YY78rb6Ug — David Schneider (@davidschneider) July 1, 2020
7.


thepoke--2020-07-01--Sky News was just interrupted by a child asking for biscuits

You wait ages for a TV news channel to be interrupted by a child – well , actually you don @ @ @ @ @ , but anyway – and then it happens twice in one day .
There was @ @ @ @ @ News earlier today .
And then this happened on Sky News .
Think the BBC @ @ @ @ @ better .
Why didn ’ t he ask what the biscuits were ?
People love @ @ @ @ @ ’ s daughter interrupted her BBC News interview

Videos
You wait ages for a TV news channel to be interrupted by a child – well, actually you don’t wait that long, but anyway – and then it happens twice in one day.
There was this lovely moment on BBC News earlier today.
ABSOLUTE SCENES ON THE BBC NEWS CHANNEL pic.twitter.com/hvu9iWkkIz — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) July 1, 2020
And then this happened to journalist Deborah Haynes as she was broadcasting from home on Sky News.
ABSOLUTE SCENES ON SKY NEWS pic.twitter.com/EkdJTinkTW — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) July 1, 2020
Wonderful.
Sky News: “David Cameron says…” Son: “Can I have two biscuits?” pic.twitter.com/ZFQ2y99ATK — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) July 1, 2020
Think the BBC probably handled it a bit better. Why didn’t he ask what the biscuits were?
She was multi-tasking just fine and had resolved the whole thing. Did he really cut off the interview at the point when the biscuit negotiation had already been concluded? — Samira Ahmed (@SamiraAhmedUK) July 1, 2020
He knew what he was doing – gaining leverage in the snack negotiations. If mum hadn't been on the telly, he'd have ended up with a piece of fruit. Two biscuits – great result. — Barnaby Patchett (@barnabarian) July 1, 2020
Here’s what Deborah had to say later.
Thank you for the lovely comments after my son’s impromptu appearance mid-live-broadcast. I can confirm that his high-stakes negotiating skills netted him two chocolate digestives https://t.co/OQRGiMNih2 — Deborah Haynes (@haynesdeborah) July 1, 2020
And news anchor, Mark Austin.
I was keen to stay with it and find out which was the biscuit of choice ….but international affairs beckoned https://t.co/18ZkeiryMz — Mark Austin (@markaustintv) July 1, 2020
READ MORE
People love what happened when this woman’s daughter interrupted her BBC News interview
Source @scottygb


thepoke--2020-07-01--The bad tea American mum just made a ‘traditional British breakfast’ and she’s basically trolling th

The bad tea American mum just made a ‘traditional British breakfast’ and she’s basically trolling the entire country

You ’ ll probably be aware by now of American TikTok user @ jchelle36 , or Michelle , who ’ @ @ @ @ @ by purporting to show the world how to make things like ‘ British tea ’ @ @ @ @ @ .
Well now she ’ s at it again , and this time she ’ @ @ @ @ @ ‘ British breakfast ’ or ‘ beans on toast ’ .
Which , as you @ @ @ @ @ t especially the same thing , but that ’ s the least of it .
@ @ @ @ @ , look away now .
And here are our favourite things people said about it @ @ @ @ @ you missed her earlier efforts , here she is making ‘ British eggs ’ .
@ @ @ @ @ – and this time she ’ s ruining eggs

Videos
You’ll probably be aware by now of American TikTok user @jchelle36, or Michelle, who’s been offending British sensibilities by purporting to show the world how to make things like ‘British tea’ and ‘British eggs’.
Well now she’s at it again, and this time she’s making what she calls a ‘traditional British breakfast’ or ‘beans on toast’.
Readers of a sensitive disposition, look away now.
I think I need my own cooking show, I’m getting really good at this 👍 pic.twitter.com/FRyYYuIoDu — jchelle36 (@jchelle36) July 1, 2020
And here are our favourite things people said about it.
It's going to be a lengthy prison term, for crimes against food.
Previous bad acts (we all remember the tea incident) need to be taken into account. — Malcolm Tucker Esq 🕷 (@Tucker5law) July 1, 2020
She is brilliant. I genuinely love this woman. In my mind, she's probably an exceptional cook who just loves messing with Brits who take themselves too seriously — Jaimie Kaffash (@jkaffash) July 1, 2020
Please show us how to do a trad British steak and kidney pie. — Charles Donovan (@CharlieDonovan) July 1, 2020
You already crafted the most brilliantly atrocious cup of English tea, with microwaved hot water and enough sugar to feed a small African nation. This breakfast is similarly catastrophic. Your trolling skills are exceptional – keep it up!😃 — Stephen Ballentyne (@Karisade_X) July 1, 2020
As if 2020 wasn't bad enough 😭 — Comedy Central UK (@ComedyCentralUK) July 1, 2020
Basically, this.
Trolling an entire nation https://t.co/BjX0id7ci0 — Eddie Robson (@EddieRobson) July 1, 2020
And this.
I think it’s got to the point where she needs to be questioned by @maitlis or @afneil https://t.co/wsZ8XUoDoY — Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) July 1, 2020
In the unlikely event you missed her earlier efforts, here she is making ‘British eggs’.
Today this American girl will be making British 🥚eggs pic.twitter.com/KsVMWRr6X4 — jchelle36 (@jchelle36) June 20, 2020
And ‘British tea’.
Ok since everyone wanted me to make British Tea- here you go 🇺🇸🇬🇧 pic.twitter.com/c9ziZUUcXG — jchelle36 (@jchelle36) June 8, 2020
The horror, the horror.
READ MORE
The bad-tea American is back – and this time she’s ruining eggs
Source @jchelle36


thepoke--2020-07-01--People love what happened when this woman’s daughter interrupted her BBC News interview

It ’ s not the first time a live interview on the BBC News channel has been interrupted by a @ @ @ @ @ ’ t be the last .
But this one is especially brilliant because everything about @ @ @ @ @ .
It just gets better and better .
Scarlett ’ s mum is Dr Clare @ @ @ @ @ Global Health Policy and the news reader is Christian Fraser , just in case you @ @ @ @ @ s what a fellow BBC newsreader made of it .
And what other people were @ @ @ @ @ .
And then , would you believe it , the very same thing happened on @ @ @ @ @ the presenter handled it quite so well though .
While we ’ re here , @ @ @ @ @ follow @ scottygb on Twitter for all things telly related .
This just happened on @ @ @ @ @ s the perfect metaphor for Brexit

Videos
It’s not the first time a live interview on the BBC News channel has been interrupted by a child, and it won’t be the last.
But this one is especially brilliant because everything about it is a total delight.
ABSOLUTE SCENES ON THE BBC NEWS CHANNEL pic.twitter.com/hvu9iWkkIz — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) July 1, 2020
It just gets better and better.
BBC: “What’s your daughter called?” Interviewee: “She’s called Scarlett.” BBC: “I think it looks better on the lower shelf.” Scarlett: “WHAT’S HIS NAME? WHAT’S HIS NAME MUMMY?” I *absolutely* lost it at this point. pic.twitter.com/ngO9zHOd2U — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) July 1, 2020
Wonderful, just wonderful.
Scarlett’s mum is Dr Clare Wenham, assistant professor of Global Health Policy and the news reader is Christian Fraser, just in case you were wondering.
Here’s what a fellow BBC newsreader made of it.
Oh the perils of being interviewed from home – expertly handled by Christian Fraser on @BBCNews pic.twitter.com/2q3AcSOXj4 — sophieraworth (@sophieraworth) July 1, 2020
And what other people were saying about it on Twitter.
This is without a doubt the best 'child interrupts BBC news interview' i've ever seen. Zero fucks given, doing some interior design in the background behind her mum, then comes over to demand the presenter's name
pic.twitter.com/UQpvkyqfrQ — Charlie Haynes (@charliehtweets) July 1, 2020
I am amazed she can still very focus on what she meant to say.. fantastic multi-tasking ability😇 — Cleopatra (@CleopatraPascal) July 1, 2020
Absolute masterclass in both child management and interview technique here. https://t.co/T7mUPFI5hZ — Jim Reed (@jim_reed) July 1, 2020
Ooo this has never happened before. I babysit for this family. Scarlett is great, as is her little brother. Also one of the loveliest mums I know, gonna text and say good to see them (on the bbc 🤣). — Katharine Horgan (@K_L_Horgan) July 1, 2020
She sent us an email apologising afterwards, and I'm not sure why. Best interview we've done all day — Robert Rea (@robertrea) July 1, 2020
Not only must this story be told on the child's wedding day, but the video must be shown and if there is any justice in the world, the BBC news presenter will turn up with a unicorn to present as a wedding gift. This is simply glorious and fair play to the interviewee for it all. — Stephen Drew🔸🇪🇺 (@StephenDrew72) July 1, 2020
And then, would you believe it, the very same thing happened on Sky News. Not sure the presenter handled it quite so well though.
ABSOLUTE SCENES ON SKY NEWS pic.twitter.com/EkdJTinkTW — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) July 1, 2020
While we’re here, don’t forget to follow @scottygb on Twitter for all things telly related.
READ MORE
This just happened on BBC News and it’s the perfect metaphor for Brexit
Source Twitter @scottygb


thepoke--2020-07-01--‘Much like the pandemic, this vintage store warning sign escalated quickly’

This shop sign requiring customers to wear masks because of the pandemic escalates quickly , very quickly indeed .
It @ @ @ @ @ who said : ‘ Much like the pandemic , this vintage store warning sign escalated @ @ @ @ @ to share signs along similar lines , like this one .
And this one .
@ @ @ @ @ And just in case you ’ re wondering where it is .
This anti-masker ’ @ @ @ @ @ their own logic

Pics
This shop sign requiring customers to wear masks because of the pandemic escalates quickly, very quickly indeed.
It was shared by @chrisilluminati who said: ‘Much like the pandemic, this vintage store warning sign escalated quickly.’
Oof!
It prompted people to share signs along similar lines, like this one.
And this one.
This is good too.
pic.twitter.com/UGwclJIFfL — Lisa Spay And Neuter / Black Lives MATTER💔 (@SpayLisa) June 30, 2020
And just in case you’re wondering where it is.
Y’all this is @AntiqueSugar in Phx, AZ. Best vintage shop in AZ. They have their clothes for sale on their Insta, so maybe send them some support? — Mixtape Mandi (@mixtapemandi) June 30, 2020
Here’s @AntiqueSugar Instagram – they post items for sale in their stories daily pic.twitter.com/lu3TU2mq39 — Mixtape Mandi (@mixtapemandi) June 30, 2020
READ MORE
This anti-masker’s argument was destroyed with their own logic
Source Twitter @chrisilluminati


thepoke--2020-07-01--‘1979 horoscope I am begging you to read this’

This ‘ 1979 horoscope ’ has gone wildly viral on Twitter because , well , you ’ re going to @ @ @ @ @ yourself .
The stars suggest it will be well worth your time .
‘ 1979 @ @ @ @ @ you to read this , ’ said Wendy – @ friends3000 – who posted it @ @ @ @ @ some of the things people were saying about it .
Surely this is everyone .
@ @ @ @ @ ’ s Metro is worth a read

Twitter
This ‘1979 horoscope’ has gone wildly viral on Twitter because, well, you’re going to have to read it for yourself.
The stars suggest it will be well worth your time.
‘1979 horoscope I am fucking begging you to read this,’ said Wendy – @friends3000 – who posted it.
And here are just some of the things people were saying about it.
Whoever wrote this was obviously hurt by a Leo — babylon ♡ (@bbylon777) June 30, 2020
you think that's bad, look at capricorn — frog boy | ACAB (@frog_broth) June 30, 2020
"you rely on luck because you have no talent" first of all, yes — Kel (@piperjamas) June 30, 2020
A Taurus wrote this — Divine Doll ♍ ☥ (@MacKenzie_Virgo) June 30, 2020
Well I wasn't born yet but damn if they don't have me nailed pic.twitter.com/dyxE8t969P — Sherriff of Thottingham (@RegressiveElf) June 30, 2020
this is sending me pic.twitter.com/qp5rb2VP5v — pau ☆⋆ (@pau_poko) June 30, 2020
Surely this is everyone.
My face while and after reading mine pic.twitter.com/cH01psXlQJ — ciani marie (@ciani__marie) June 30, 2020
READ MORE
The Horoscope column in today’s Metro is worth a read
Source @friends3000


thepoke--2020-07-01--Catherine O’Hara recreating her iconic moment from Home Alone is all kinds of awesome

It ’ s a seminal moment in Home Alone , when the mum played by Catherine O ’ Hara realises @ @ @ @ @ ( Macaulay Culkin ) behind .
Now actress Catherine O ’ Hara has recreated the @ @ @ @ @ fabulous .
All the Home Alone Movies

Videos
It’s a seminal moment in Home Alone, when the mum played by Catherine O’Hara realises they’ve left Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) behind.
Now actress Catherine O’Hara has recreated the moment and it’s fabulous.
Love it.
Oh God that is amazing. What a queen that woman is. https://t.co/i4MI8BgAlh — Dara Ó Briain (@daraobriain) June 30, 2020
READ MORE
All the Home Alone Movies
Source @getFANDOM


thepoke--2020-07-01--Whoever came up with this anti-litter sign in York deserves a pay rise

With lockdown easing ( to what extent depends on which part of the country you are in ) lots of @ @ @ @ @ time in parks and on the beach .
And , as you can ’ t @ @ @ @ @ they don ’ t always take their litter home with them .
Which makes this @ @ @ @ @ more pertinent , as shared by ManILoveFarming on Reddit .
Give that person a pay @ @ @ @ @ the week off .
Or both .
Should be put up in every park ( @ @ @ @ @ country .
Simply 23 very funny signs that have been messed around with for comic @

Pics
With lockdown easing (to what extent depends on which part of the country you are in) lots of people have been spending more time in parks and on the beach.
And, as you can’t fail to have noticed, they don’t always take their litter home with them.
Which makes this anti-litter sign in York even more pertinent, as shared by ManILoveFarming on Reddit.
Give that person a pay rise or the rest of the week off. Or both.
‘That sign radiates Britishness,’ said Thesavagepotato06. ‘9/10 wordplay,’ added mrtightywhity. ‘I approve.’
Should be put up in every park (and beach) in the country.
READ MORE
Simply 23 very funny signs that have been messed around with for comic effect
Source Reddit u/ManILoveFarming


thepoke--2020-07-01--Mark Francois’ letter to Michel Barnier suffered a hilarious takedown via the red pen

In case you didn ’ t know , ERG leading light Mark Gino Francois wrote to Michel Barnier regarding the @ @ @ @ @ of the EU .
The passive-aggressive “ missive ” got exactly the reception you ’ @ @ @ @ @ like this : It didn ’ t take long for Bronnagh Ó Súilleabháin to subject @ @ @ @ @ and the result was hilarious .
Let ’ s pick out a few of Bronnagh @ @ @ @ @ Mark !
We covered this in October 2019 .
I am clearly wasting my time @ @ @ @ @ allowing a vote on the issue if you will not LISTEN.
” The comprehensive burn @ @ @ @ @ Twitter .
If anything , Mark Francois got off lightly .
We highly recommend he @ @ @ @ @ “ I must not enter a battle of wits unarmed.
” Mark Francois ’ letter @ @ @ @ @ the reaction it deserved – 12 hilarious takedowns

Twitter
In case you didn’t know, ERG leading light Mark Gino Francois wrote to Michel Barnier regarding the UK’s transition out of the EU.
A Letter from Mark Francois, Chairman of the ERG to Michel Barnier. pic.twitter.com/uHjyJ57ERZ — Andrea Jenkyns MP #StayAlertSaveLives (@andreajenkyns) June 29, 2020
The passive-aggressive “missive” got exactly the reception you’d expect, with responses like this:
This is utterly batshit. At what point has the UK not elected its own government or passed its own laws? That sitting MPs are seemingly so proud of their ignorance explains a hell of a lot about why we're in this farcical position. https://t.co/q6zwOZpK9c — Dan Sohege (@stand_for_all) June 29, 2020
It didn’t take long for Bronnagh Ó Súilleabháin to subject it to serious scrutiny, and the result was hilarious.
The letter from Francois yesterday? It was begging for the red pen treatment. 🤣 pic.twitter.com/aCSj3kdoPY — Bronnagh Ó Súilleabháin (@bronnaghOS) June 30, 2020
Let’s pick out a few of Bronnagh’s notes.
“Aggressive tone & not necessary.
All countries are free unless dictatorship, colonised/occupied.
See British Empire Chapter 2.”
“Mark! We covered this in October 2019.
I am clearly wasting my time giving you extra tutorials & allowing a vote on the issue if you will not LISTEN.”
“What research?
You have no idea what you’re writing about.
V. poor.
The comprehensive burn went down very well on Twitter.
Just brilliant! Laugh out loud moments! So full of his own self importance! — Maureen Pickering (@MaureenPickeri5) June 30, 2020
Exemplary – would suggest adding a little green ink to confirm how far beyond rational thought it is. — damien woods (@bohola4) June 30, 2020
Mark Francois really is a third-rate politician. It's embarrassing. Who votes for him? #BrexitShambles https://t.co/hZvqHknrza — Antony Clements (@heyarnold) July 1, 2020
I cringed so hard at this letter that I prolapsed my bottom. https://t.co/zht9A87MTR — Happy as a Monkey (@happyasamonkey) June 30, 2020
If anything, Mark Francois got off lightly.
Wow! As a former lecturer in EU law, I’d have added even more red pen and a LONG note at the end …. a letter like this only serves to illustrate the extent of the author’s ignorance (and arrogance)… — Peony and Thistle 🌈 STAY AT HOME (@peonyandthistle) June 30, 2020
We highly recommend he writes out 100 lines:
“I must not enter a battle of wits unarmed.”
READ MORE
Mark Francois’ letter to Michel Barnier got exactly the reaction it deserved – 12 hilarious takedowns
Source Bronnagh Ó Súilleabháin Image Bronnagh Ó Súilleabháin, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-07-01--This beautiful Carl Reiner story is a wonderful read all the way to the amazing finish

Among the many tributes being paid to comedy legend Carl Reiner , who has died aged 98 , was this @ @ @ @ @ on Twitter by @ AshcanPress .
And here are just a few of the many @ @ @ @ @ saying about it .
People love this letter Carl Reiner sent to a comedian replacing @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
Among the many tributes being paid to comedy legend Carl Reiner, who has died aged 98, was this wonderful, heart-warming tale shared on Twitter by @AshcanPress.
It’s a lovely story about a lovely man.
1.
I have a Carl Reiner story that I hold very dear to me. I figured I'd share it today, on the day of his passing, because I hope it will bring some other people some joy the way it does me. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
2.
Growing up my dad and his twin brother fell in love with Sid Caeser’s Your Show Of Shows. It is the show that made my dad fall in love with storytelling and comedy. They worshipped Caeser along with castmember/writer Carl Reiner. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
3.
Caeser, Reiner, and the other writers on their show, including Mel Brooks, Neil Simon, Larry Gelbart, and Woody Allen, all made my dad and uncle want to be writers, which they both ended up being. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
4.
Growing up my dad’s choice of dinner on every birthday was Beef Stroganoff. Why did he eat Beef Stroganoff on every birthday for his whole life? Because of a joke on Your Show of Shows. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
5.
When Charlton Heston was a guest on the show they did a cold war spy sketch where Reiner was told to go to a restaurant and “ask for Beef Stroganoff.” He sits down and the waitress comes over. Reiner says “I’m here for Beef Stroganoff.” — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
6.
She leaves and a short while later Heston walks over to the table and asks Reiner “can I help you?” Reiner responds “I asked for Beef Stroganoff,” and Heston pauses and then in his deep voice deadpans “I am Beef Stroganoff.” The joke made my dad laugh his whole life. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
7.
Around 20 years ago my dad had his yearly birthday call with his brother (they’re twins). My dad mentioned having Beef Stroganoff and my uncle asked why he always had that on his birthday. Confused my dad just said “because of the sketch.” — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
8.
My uncle had no idea what he was talking about. It turns out he remembered the sketch clearly but was convinced Heston’s name in it was “Sauerbraten” not “Beef Stroganoff.” They ended up arguing about this for years. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
9.
My dad bought every DVD and VHS of Your Show of Shows he could find. He watched every clip online and every documentary, but there didn’t seem to be any surviving tape of the sketch. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
10.
Jump ahead 10 years and Carl Reiner writes a new book. He announces he will be signing and giving a talk in NY at the 92nd Street Y. My dad sees his chance. He buys tickets as fast as he can. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
11.
My dad was desperate to ask him about the sketch in person. But knowing that he may not get the chance, he also wrote up a letter to hand to Reiner in case there was no time to ask. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
12.
When it came time for the signing my dad waited in line and when he got in front of Reiner he told the story of how his whole life he’d loved the show, and the sketch, and Beef Stroganoff, but then he got in the fight with his brother. Carl listened. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
13.
When he got to the part about how they couldn’t remember whether it was Beef Stroganoff or Sauerbraten he asked Carl point blank- which was it? Carl Reiner stared at my dad, laughed, and simply said “That was a long time ago.” — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
14.
My dad thanked him anyway, got his book signed, and then decided to hand him the letter he’d written too, just because he had said some nice things in it about how much he appreciated Reiner’s work over the years. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
15.
Two months later. My dad is out for a bike ride. The phone rings. My mom answers. A man asks to speak to my father. She tells him that he’s out. The man says he’ll try back another time. She asks who it is and he says “Carl Reiner” and hangs up. No number. No caller id. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
16.
Obviously we are all in awe that he called and we wait for him to call back. And we wait. And we wait. Finally a week goes by and the phone rings. My dad answers it excitedly, like he’d answered every call the past week. But this time it’s Carl Reiner again. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
17.
He says he read the letter my dad gave him at the signing and he found it so touching that he wanted to share it “with the others.” Then he puts the phone on speaker and Carl Reiner is having dinner with Mel Brooks and Sid Caeser. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
18.
They are calling my dad to answer his question about a sketch from 50 years ago. They all make some jokes and then admit they have no idea whether Charlton Heston was named Beef Stroganoff or Sauerbraten in the sketch. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
19.
But they all agree Beef Stroganoff is funnier, so they give the victory to my dad over my uncle. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
20.
This was literally one of the best days of my father’s entire life. His heroes called him up to chat and make jokes and thank him for caring. It meant the world to him then, and it means as much to me now that they would do that. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
21.
As a sidenote a few years later my dad went to the Museum of Television in New York and decided to watch some stuff from the archives. There they had some episodes of Your Show of Shows that aren’t available anywhere else. My dad sat down and watched them all. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
22.
On the very last episode they announced a special guest- Charlton Heston. My dad held his breath. The sketch begins just as my dad remembers it. And then Sid Caeser tells Carl Reiner “Go to this restaurant and ask for Saurbrauten.” — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
23.
So even your heroes get it wrong sometimes. But I love that my dad made the joke funnier. Thanks Carl for inspiring my dad to be a writer. And thanks for being so kind, generous and warm. He tried to follow in your footsteps in all of those things and I’m trying to follow in his. — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
24.
Carl Reiner, his daughter Annie, and Mel Brooks 2 days ago for Mel’s birthday. pic.twitter.com/odEFPCGlja — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
25.
My brother just sent me this photo of my dad getting his book signed by Carl. pic.twitter.com/qYsNjXdQZn — Matthew Rosenberg (@AshcanPress) June 30, 2020
And here are just a few of the many, many things people were saying about it.
Oh this is so great. https://t.co/Pt9vacwkug — Seth Meyers (@sethmeyers) June 30, 2020
A beautiful story, a wonderful man. — Joe Scarborough (@JoeNBC) June 30, 2020
Thanks for such a beautiful story on such a sad day. — Larry Wilmore (@larrywilmore) July 1, 2020
THIS IS AN AMAZING CARL REINER STORY. https://t.co/YtLvVRoc8X — Judd Apatow (@JuddApatow) June 30, 2020
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. It’s making me cry – in a very good way. Just wonderful.🙏🏻 — Bebe Neuwirth (@BebeNeuwirth) June 30, 2020
READ MORE
People love this letter Carl Reiner sent to a comedian replacing him at an awards do
Source @AshcanPres


thepoke--2020-07-01--‘UK by preferred sauce for chip shop chips’ is the most important map you’ll read today

‘ I think this is probably the most important map you can view today , ’ said @ nick_forbes over @ @ @ @ @ think he might be right .
As you ’ re about to see for yourself @ @ @ @ @ map of Britain according to people ’ s preferred sauce on their chip shop chips @ @ @ @ @ zoom in a bit for the full effect ) .
It ’ s based on @ @ @ @ @ here are a few of the things people were saying about it .
Our 8 @ @ @ @ @ that are actually quite good

Pics
‘I think this is probably the most important map you can view today,’ said @nick_forbes over on Twitter, and we think he might be right.
As you’re about to see for yourself, it’s a map of Britain according to people’s preferred sauce on their chip shop chips (you might have to zoom in a bit for the full effect).
It’s based on a survey on Reddit and here are a few of the things people were saying about it.
Ketchup. Anything else is pure savagery. https://t.co/tXgYpAmbkS — Emma Manzini (@EmmaManzini) June 30, 2020
What happened to vinegar? I thought this was A Thing? — A Tate (@Ajst777) June 30, 2020
Mushy peas is not a sauce, it's a side https://t.co/zLX0w5MkFa — Eddie Robson (@EddieRobson) June 30, 2020
Where’s chips, cheese & gravy? — Gabriel Antoniazzi (@GabsAzzi) June 30, 2020
Canada probably — illuminatus (@illuminatus) June 30, 2020
READ MORE
Our 8 favourite ‘terrible maps’ that are actually quite good
Source Twitter @nick_forbes


thepoke--2020-07-01--‘Name this band. Wrong answers only’ – our 13 favourite suggestions

You ’ ve no doubt seen those terrifying pictures of a couple in St Louis pointing their guns at protestors @ @ @ @ @ .
Over on Twitter , William Adler , Associate Professor of Political Science at Northeastern @ @ @ @ @ challenge .
And it prompted lots – and lots – of suggestions .
Here are @ @ @ @ @ here they are in action .

Twitter
You’ve no doubt seen those terrifying pictures of a couple in St Louis pointing their guns at protestors who walked through their street.
Over on Twitter, William Adler, Associate Professor of Political Science at Northeastern Illinois University, had a challenge.
Name this band. Wrong answers only. pic.twitter.com/lVRXLpvmrc — William D. Adler (@williamadler78) June 29, 2020
And it prompted lots – and lots – of suggestions. Here are our 13 favourites.
1.
Guns and Rosé — Philip Klinkner (@pklinkne) June 29, 2020
2.
MAGAdeath — Elli Fischer (@Adderabbi) June 29, 2020
3.
Girth, Wind, & Fire — Rachel Barkow (@RachelBarkow) June 29, 2020
4.
They Might be Tyrants — Anna O. Law (@UnlawfulEntries) June 29, 2020
5.
Florence and the Machine Gun — Anna O. Law (@UnlawfulEntries) June 29, 2020
6.
The White Snipes — The Hoarse Whisperer (@HoarseWisperer) June 29, 2020
7.
The Average White Band. — Jason (@sparky347v) June 29, 2020
8.
Panic at the Costco — CashBurningUnicorn (@cash_burning) June 29, 2020
9.
Limp Biscuit — A.M. Belliot (@DionysianDogma) June 29, 2020
10.
The Hateful Dread — Nanny McPhee (@NannyZazu) June 29, 2020
11.
Rage For the Machine — Mortis 🇺🇸 (@Mortis13487183) June 29, 2020
12.
Rage Against the Latte Machine — EmbersHat (@Popehat) June 29, 2020
13.
Rage Against The Manager — Joel The Bicyclist (@thebicyclist_) June 29, 2020
And here they are in action.
Name this band. Right answers only. pic.twitter.com/RffVSK0CUy — Kira (@RealKiraDavis) June 30, 2020
Source @williamadler78


thepoke--2020-07-01--Whoever did today’s Daily Star front page, take the rest of the week off (again)

You might remember the Daily Star had a run of memorable front pages about Dominic Cummings a little while back @ @ @ @ @ gone and done it again .
This one will run and run , alas .
@ @ @ @ @ missed this from last month .

Pics
You might remember the Daily Star had a run of memorable front pages about Dominic Cummings a little while back.
Now it’s gone and done it again.
This one will run and run, alas.
The Star is going for it again pic.twitter.com/yPm75dU0Xt — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) July 1, 2020
I don't read the Daily Star but fair play, he really won't like that they're not letting it go.#SackCummingsNow pic.twitter.com/J8vW9AfwUA — Will Austin (@WillAustin1964) July 1, 2020
Run out of bogroll in Leicester? Just drive to Barnard Castle! Whoever is designing Daily Star's front pages is showing the occasional comic genius that once was the sole preserve of the Sun…. pic.twitter.com/mdvDzkeUOl — Kate Ironside (@IronsideKate) July 1, 2020
And just in case you missed this from last month.
READ MORE
‘Dominic Cummings has radicalised the Daily Star’
Source Twitter @TobyonTV


thepoke--2020-07-01--11 of the funniest tweets about how we’re handling the pandemic

Remember when the coronavirus message from the UK government was clear and concise ?
No , neither do we , but it was definitely less complicated than it is now .
That ’ s just one thing on people ’ s minds in today ’ s round-up of your funny takes on the pandemic .
2 .
The lockdown brought out the Good Samaritan in some people 3 .
The latest rules aren ’ t as comprehensive as they could be 5 .
Get used to the idea of change 6 .
It seems like some people didn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ CONTAGIOUS DISEASE ON THE LOOSE !
7 .
An incentive scheme would work wonders , since not killing Granny doesn ’ t seem to be enough 8 .
We ’ re missing more than our freedom 9 .
Wild horses couldn ’ t drag some people into a pub this weekend – and couldn ’ t drag others out 10 .
One arbitrary rule is as good as another 11 .
It ’ s a pity masks can only protect others from diseases Lockdown laughs – 10 more things we ’ ve learnt @ @ @

Twitter
Remember when the coronavirus message from the UK government was clear and concise? No, neither do we, but it was definitely less complicated than it is now.
That’s just one thing on people’s minds in today’s round-up of your funny takes on the pandemic.
1. Simple is safer
Johnson: “Go out, but don’t go out” “Stay alert. Control the virus” “We’re coming out of hibernation” “Stay 2 metres apart, or 1 metre apart” “Use good old British common sense” “Driving to check your eyesight is ok” Etc. I wonder how we ended up with scenes like these? pic.twitter.com/N92W5xHNkY — Damon (@damocrat) June 26, 2020
2. The lockdown brought out the Good Samaritan in some people
Bumped into my neighbour in Asda who said he was shopping for a vulnerable pensioner.
Thought fucking hell they sell everything these days — Ben Turner Comedian (@benturnercomedy) June 28, 2020
3. The latest rules aren’t as comprehensive as they could be
The government issuing lockdown rules pic.twitter.com/2TrX6srqHt — Rachael (@RachaelvsWorld) June 30, 2020
4. Viruses don’t respect city boundaries
it’s ok lads it’s only Leicester that the virus is having a resurgence in just Leicester only Leicester not the rest of the UK only Leicester once it reaches the city boundaries of Leicester it’s like WOAH HOLD UP GOTTA STAY IN LEICESTER so don’t worry let’s open those pubs — Sorcha Ní Nia (@Luiseach) June 30, 2020
5. Get used to the idea of change
Whilst we're pleased to be re-opening on July 4th, due to lost business during the lockdown, we regret to inform customers that the drinks at Club Tropicana will no longer be free. — Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) June 30, 2020
6. It seems like some people didn’t get the memo about there being A CONTAGIOUS DISEASE ON THE LOOSE!
guys have you been to the supermarket? it's this cool new theme park which simulates what life would be like if there was no global pandemic and people didn't wear masks or do any social distancing at all. pretty rad! — Zoë Tomalin (@ZoeTomalin) June 30, 2020
7. An incentive scheme would work wonders, since not killing Granny doesn’t seem to be enough
The best way to solve Covid is to turn it into some sort of game where the state with the lowest cases each week gets a pizza party or some shit. This unfortunately would work really well. — Sam Taggart (@samttaggart) June 29, 2020
8. We’re missing more than our freedom
I really miss the government’s daily briefings you know. It was always a boost to see someone being even more useless in their day than I am during lockdown. — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) June 30, 2020
9. Wild horses couldn’t drag some people into a pub this weekend – and couldn’t drag others out
The UK: "You must go to the pub this weekend"
Me: "No"
The UK: "Why not"
Me: *gestures at everything* — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) June 30, 2020
10. One arbitrary rule is as good as another
Leicester will be allowed out of lockdown when Kasabian break up and not a minute sooner — GP (@GtotheP) June 30, 2020
11. It’s a pity masks can only protect others from diseases
Sorry we only have masks for your face but not that personality — Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) June 25, 2020
READ MORE
Lockdown laughs – 10 more things we’ve learnt about the pandemic
Image @RachaelvsWorld


thepoke--2020-07-01--These 15 funny memes have absolutely nailed the bin fire that is 2020

Remember when we thought 2016 was the cursed year ?
How innocent we were .
Little did we know that @ @ @ @ @ brother was waiting to storm in and trample all over us .
The clever bunch @ @ @ @ @ some memes that say all there is to say about this year – without swearing @ @ @ @ @ picked our favourites .
2 .
We thought the bubble thing was a metaphor 5 @ @ @ @ @ 6 .
All bets are off

Pics
Remember when we thought 2016 was the cursed year? How innocent we were. Little did we know that 2016’s big ugly brother was waiting to storm in and trample all over us.
The clever bunch over at someecards.com have gathered some memes that say all there is to say about this year – without swearing – and we’ve picked our favourites.
1. It’s only just July
2. We thought the bubble thing was a metaphor
3. How dysfunctional? This dysfunctional
4. 2020 saw us coming
5. We should have known
6. All bets are off
7. It’s taking its toll
8. Once again, life imitates art


thepoke--2020-07-03--“Almost found some new clients today”

“Almost found some new clients today”

Driving instructors are about to be allowed to work again , in England at least , though we aren ’ @ @ @ @ @ ll socially distance unless they ’ re all buying Hummers .
The excellent Sir Michael @ @ @ @ @ good driving instructor with cheap rates – sort of .
That ’ s a very @ @ @ @ @ .
Here ’ s what people have been saying about it .
Does he offer @ @ @ @ @ if I use another , so would I get a free driving lesson if I @ @ @ @ @ ?
Is a complementary tea or coffee not enough for you , Dominic ?
As @ @ @ @ @ salons come to an end across Britain and Ireland , Jack Brooks had an important @ @ @ @ @ an eco-friendly burial option wasn ’ t as useful as it first seemed

Popular
Driving instructors are about to be allowed to work again, in England at least, though we aren’t sure how they’ll socially distance unless they’re all buying Hummers.
The excellent Sir Michael had a recommendation about a good driving instructor with cheap rates – sort of.
Almost found some new clients today👍 pic.twitter.com/KLcOphl0Po — Sir Michael (@Michael1979) July 2, 2020
That’s a very versatile uncle he has there.
Here’s what people have been saying about it.
Does he offer any discounts for one service if I use another, so would I get a free driving lesson if I were to create a website? — Dominic Wilson (@DominicJwilson) July 2, 2020 Is a complementary tea or coffee not enough for you, Dominic? — Sir Michael (@Michael1979) July 2, 2020
Where did your uncle Geoffrey get those amazing stand out business cards?? I work in an accountant's office and our business cards are boring as… — Cathal Kennedy (@CathalKennedy1) July 2, 2020 He's got a nephew who owns a computer 👍 — Sir Michael (@Michael1979) July 2, 2020
Which styles of driving does Uncle Geoffrey offer? I have passed my driver's proficiency test but have yet to master any of the styles showcased in, eg, Fast & Furious, The Italian Job or Driving Miss Daisy Hollywood action films. — Tankerton Latch (@TankertonLatch) July 2, 2020 Whichever style his students prefer. He's very open-minded — Sir Michael (@Michael1979) July 2, 2020
😂😂😂 amazing, very much i couldn't recommend booking a lesson more… 😂👌 https://t.co/yRAonu6mDu — Courchene (@courchene) July 2, 2020
I laughed long and hard this 😂 https://t.co/lrDhpZChym — Harry McCann (@TheHarryMcC) July 2, 2020
🤣🤣🤣😅
Imagine the patience you would need? https://t.co/7zHJSFvn2C — Mumbi Karanih (@MumbiKarani) July 2, 2020
As the strictest lockdown rules about salons come to an end across Britain and Ireland, Jack Brooks had an important question.
Haircuts still available though yeh?🧐 — Jack Brooks (@BrooksyFerret) July 2, 2020
Only if you want a website built at the same time — Sir Michael (@Michael1979) July 2, 2020
READ MORE
This information about an eco-friendly burial option wasn’t as useful as it first seemed
Source Sir Michael Image Sir Michael, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-07-03--Moose Allain shared some Devon words and the replies were a dictionary of delights – 18 favourites

Everywhere in the world has its own local flavour , sometimes literally in the shape of unique recipes , but @ @ @ @ @ accents and the words and phrases used .
Artist and very funny man , Moose @ @ @ @ @ remembered from Devon in the 80s .
Quite a lot of people recognised those words @ @ @ @ @ , who explained where he ’ d heard them .
But Moose ’ s tweets @ @ @ @ @ words and phrases peculiar to their areas , so although there were far too many @ @ @ @ @ we picked our favourites .

Twitter
Everywhere in the world has its own local flavour, sometimes literally in the shape of unique recipes, but more often in terms of accents and the words and phrases used.
Artist and very funny man, Moose Allain shared some expressions he remembered from Devon in the 80s.
When I lived in Devon in the late 80s the local people I worked with routinely referred to young men as ‘bays’ and young women as ‘maids’. I haven’t heard them used since we came back in 2006. These local usages appear to have died out in a generation. — Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) July 1, 2020
I don’t mix with so many Devon-born people (lots of them back then were from rural areas, we were a maintenance team for the National Trust), but my kids, who grew up here, have never heard them used. — Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) July 1, 2020
Oh yes, I’ve just remembered on rainy days we used to play a lot of cards in the work hut. The word ‘spawny’ was used universally to mean lucky. — Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) July 1, 2020
Quite a lot of people recognised those words, like journalist Michael Moran, who explained where he’d heard them.
My pal, who’s from Exeter, has an anecdote about his dad watching TOTP in the 80s and furious asking “is im a bay or a med?” on every other song. — Michael Moran (@TheMichaelMoran) July 1, 2020
Matthew Warren had good news.
Can confirm those phrases still in use in rural North Devon – have heard them plenty in the 25 years since I moved down here from young and old. — Matthew Warren (@Nom_Dahl_Warren) July 1, 2020
But Moose’s tweets got people thinking about the words and phrases peculiar to their areas, so although there were far too many to post them all, we picked our favourites.
1.
When my grannie was at school, a mum who wasn't good with writing wrote to the teacher explaining her child's absence. All one word: 'Kepatwumatiddyin'. Kep a'twum a tiddyin. Translation: Kept at home to harvest potatoes. (Dorset). I just love it so I still say "a'twum" sometimes — Katie (@abflabbulous) July 2, 2020
2.
Our family use "I can't thoil it" in reference to something you could afford but are not willing to pay for. Think it's a Yorkshire-ism? — It’s me, Lis 🌈 (@luonnotarable) July 1, 2020
3.
Do you know “simmer dim”? Shetland – describes the light quality in summer when the daylight doesn’t quite fade away to become night (also the name of a lovely beer from Britain’s most Northerly brewery) — Trevor McCarthy (@MrTrevMcCarthy) July 2, 2020
4.
In Australia bed linen is often called Manchester. Shops have Manchester departments – presumably because the cotton came from Manchester. — GrumpyByName #2706 on the list (@LessGrumpy) July 2, 2020
5.
My grandad was a miner and spoke his own language. A few words/phrases I remember were “shot n’ sham” for ‘shirt and (under)vest’, “snap” we all used growing up for ‘food’ (northern friends use ‘scran’ for same) and “Sorry” for someone’s name you can’t remember… — スティ—ブン✌🏻 (@StevenHowe) July 2, 2020
6.
My 87-yr old Sheffield m-in-law, if answering the door in sloppy clothes says, ‘sorry, Im in my dishables’. Apparently ‘dishables’ was a corruption of the French word deshabille, meaning incorrectly dressed. And so the sexy French word became the very northern Dishables. — Robert Thorogood (@robthor) July 1, 2020
7.
Does my mum – who’s a nurse – insisting to me and my brother that the backs of your knees are called ‘popples’ and the pink bits in the corners of your eyes are called ‘pincies’ count? We believed it well into our 20s. — Gummy bear (@Mullies) July 1, 2020
8.
My father, who picked up a good imitation of a London grammar school accent in the 1940s, used to say he would creet (kreet?) on going until he got there. Never heard anyone else ever use it, except possibly his Rotherham mother. — Richard Jones (@bugmanjones) July 2, 2020
9.


thepoke--2020-07-03--The only 5 responses you need to the government’s advice to not overdo it at the pub

Less than 24 hours after the government basically posted an advert for going to the pub – which they were @ @ @ @ @ advice has changed somewhat .
These five reactions say everything that needs to be said @ @ @ @ @ all safe for work .
Author and comedy writer , James Felton , explained this @ @ @ @ @ than we could .
If you do get carried away , don ’ t forget @ @ @ @ @ your eyesight .
The government seriously misread the room with a tweet about the pubs @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
Less than 24 hours after the government basically posted an advert for going to the pub – which they were forced to delete – the advice has changed somewhat.
Downing Street has warned people not to 'overdo it' when the #coronavirus #lockdown is eased this weekend https://t.co/GsU2rllvDr — SkyNews (@SkyNews) July 2, 2020
It’s “Stay alert” part 2.
These five reactions say everything that needs to be said. It’s not all safe for work.
1.
More crystal clear messaging from the masters of communication. https://t.co/imDuNau3d7 — Chris Addison (@mrchrisaddison) July 2, 2020
2.
We have come up with revised guidance for working class people having a night out.
Please keep at least 1m away from people unless you are:
a) having a fight, or
b) getting fingered in a bus shelter https://t.co/CE4ANwSEbi — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) July 2, 2020
3.
"Don't do the thing and/or if you do do the thing ensure that whatever you do it's *the* thing and not the other thing or vice versa" https://t.co/eIEsEjTwcb — Richard Littler (@richard_littler) July 2, 2020
4.
Narrator: But they did overdo it. They all overdid it. https://t.co/1vX3TuFMps — Angry People in Local Newspapers (@angrypiln) July 2, 2020
5.
This is great. Perfectly clear. So if we want to avoid coronavirus we have to avoid overdoing it and underdoing it and stick to doing it. So helpful. https://t.co/fYk0KZNf9L — Matt Haig (@matthaig1) July 2, 2020
Author and comedy writer, James Felton, explained this widely held theory far better than we could.
That is literally their tactic isn’t it. Open the pubs in the full knowledge that everyone will get wankered then say “but we told you not to get wankered though, this is your fault” as thousands of people die. https://t.co/Tb0V3fcfJJ — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 2, 2020
If you do get carried away, don’t forget to say you were checking your eyesight.
READ MORE
The government seriously misread the room with a tweet about the pubs reopening – 14 devastating owns
Source Sky News Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-07-03--“12 stages of corona” charts a relatable and very funny path through lockdown

Comedian Fahim Anwar has hilariously charted the stages of lockdown for us , and we recognise pretty much everything he @ @ @ @ @ relatable – perhaps not licking the remote .
Perhaps .
Here ’ s what other @ @ @ @ @ it .
You can also follow Fahim on Twitter here for more laughs .
“ @ @ @ @ @ Have to End ?
” is the most relatable song you ’ ll hear today

Videos
Comedian Fahim Anwar has hilariously charted the stages of lockdown for us, and we recognise pretty much everything he’s included.
“I woke up and then I um …”
Very relatable – perhaps not licking the remote. Perhaps.
Here’s what other people had to say about it.
A TikTok user named nooooooooooodles had a question.
“Why did you publish video clips of me to the internet?”
You can also follow Fahim on Twitter here for more laughs.
READ MORE
“Why the Hell Did Lockdown Have to End?” is the most relatable song you’ll hear today
Source Fahim Anwar Image Fahim Anwar


thepoke--2020-07-03--8 favourite reactions to Boris Johnson’s dad flying to his villa in Greece

As Leicester faces staying in a deeper lockdown while the rest of England opens up enough to go to the @ @ @ @ @ but not shocked to learn that Boris Johnson ’ s dad , Stanley , had @ @ @ @ @ he owns a holiday home .
His argument was that he needed to “ Covid-proof @ @ @ @ @ Stanley Johnson famously does all his own cleaning and shopping for extra soap .
The @ @ @ @ @ judgement , but Twitter wasn ’ t .
There was some understandably NSFW language .
@ @ @ @ @ his son the PM ’ s advice and going to the pub anyway – only @ @ @ @

Twitter
As Leicester faces staying in a deeper lockdown while the rest of England opens up enough to go to the pub, people were unhappy but not shocked to learn that Boris Johnson’s dad, Stanley, had flown to Greece, where he owns a holiday home.
His argument was that he needed to “Covid-proof” the villa – because Stanley Johnson famously does all his own cleaning and shopping for extra soap.
One rule for Johnson senior, another for us plebs!
I can't travel to Greece to see my beloved grandma who just broke her hip & at 95 might not have long to live.
But Stanley Johnson IGNORED the UK to Greece travel ban & sneaked in via Bulgaria to visit his holiday home!! 🤬 pic.twitter.com/HjWeItZFdX — Gerry Stergiopoulos (@GerryGreek) July 2, 2020
The government is unlikely to pass judgement, but Twitter wasn’t. There was some understandably NSFW language.
1.
The message "please stay in Leicester" might go down better if the Prime Minister's dad hadn't fucked off to Greece. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 2, 2020
2.
Dominic Cummings: I drove a car-load of Corona across the country against my own rules#StanleyJohnson: Hold my ouzo pic.twitter.com/Jm0vjigSTb — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) July 2, 2020
3.
My pater Stanley Johnson just flew to his villa in Greece, but it's OK because he went via Bulgaria.
That makes it 'showing initiative' rather than 'flouting the rules because they don't apply to us'. pic.twitter.com/qXGXBBk1Jo — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) July 2, 2020
4.
Stanley Johnson explaining that he only went to Greece because he was testing his eyesight — end of daves ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) July 2, 2020
5.
Stanley Johnson claims he flew out to Greece to "covid proof " his property. These Tories can't even be bothered to make up credible lies anymore. — Katy (@KatyJane_101) July 2, 2020
6.
If Leicester having to lockdown whilst Stanley Johnson jets off to Greece right before free movement comes to an end isn’t a classic example of the real divide in this hell hole of a nation then I don’t know what is. — Ben (@BenJolly9) July 2, 2020
7.
Sure the people of Leicester will be very inclined indeed to refrain from nipping over the border for a cheeky Bacardi Breezer knowing that Stanley Johnson has effortlessly outcunted Dominic Cummings by breaking at least two separate countries’ coronavirus rules in a single trip. pic.twitter.com/PffQz220IV — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) July 2, 2020
8.
It's just as well Stanley Johnson is my Dad rather than someone who works for me, otherwise I'd have to not sack him too. — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) July 2, 2020
Peter Smith had an observation.
Stanley Johnson explains Boris Johnson. — Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) July 2, 2020
Can’t argue with that.
READ MORE
Stanley Johnson’s ignoring his son the PM’s advice and going to the pub anyway – only 5 responses you need
Image Screengrab, H Fall on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-07-02--People are sharing stories of how they accidentally hit the alarm button after Caitlin Moran saw thi

People are sharing stories of how they accidentally hit the alarm button after Caitlin Moran saw this

It all started when a bus driver had a bit of a nightmare outside writer and broadcaster Caitlin Moran ’ @ @ @ @ @ a funny story all by itself … … but it prompted people to share tales @ @ @ @ @ hit the ( metaphorical ) nuclear button .
Well , nearly always metaphorical .
People @ @ @ @ @ mispronouncing words in public and here are 21 of the best

Twitter
It all started when a bus driver had a bit of a nightmare outside writer and broadcaster Caitlin Moran’s house.
Person having the worst day today: outside my house, the driver of the W5 has accidentally pressed the "THIS BUS IS UNDER ATTACK – PLEASE DIAL 999" announcement button, and doesn't know how to cancel it. It broadcasts from a speaker on the roof. — Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) July 2, 2020
It was a funny story all by itself …
Go out and attack it so he doesn’t look silly — Alison Joyce (@alison_j_joyce) July 2, 2020
… but it prompted people to share tales of the times they accidentally hit the (metaphorical) nuclear button.
Well, nearly always metaphorical.
1.
I once activated the town nuclear attack sirens while doing the early Sunday morning system test. Only lasted 30 seconds and triggered a flurry of calls from people I convinced were dreaming. — Dr Pete Jones (@fatwhitebloke) July 2, 2020
2.
I set off a stealth alarm at the British Ambassador's residence in Tel Aviv in 1989 when I nipped out the back for a fag. After a minute or so, an armed Israeli response team arrived and asked who I was and what I was doing. "Ned" and "having a smoke" were my replies. — Ned Boulting (@nedboulting) July 2, 2020
3.
my friend's mom worked in a bank behind the desks and took my friend in one day because she had no childcare – friend being only 5 years old hit the panic button under the desk and a SWAT team arrived — elly 🏳🌈 (@quietbatpeople) July 2, 2020
4.
I've done this! I was around 4 or 5, my mum worked at the bank. Saw what looked like a doorbell under the counter and pressed it. Disappointed it didn't make a noise… Very excited when the police turned up 🚓 — Paula Byrne (@Paula_Byrne) July 2, 2020
5.
In a previous job, I consistently entered the main door alarm code wrong which led the local police to eventually just call my phone every time the alarm went off to see if it was me or an actual intruder 😅 — Kate Bassett (@kate_bassett31) July 2, 2020
6.
Got home around midnight (slightly drunk) recently, to find the alarm in my new house going off. I hadn't set it and didn't have a code. I panicked, ripped out the interior system, cut the wires and ended up leaning out the bedroom window, hitting the bell box with a shovel. — Abster (@Abster_1983) July 2, 2020
7.
I got on a train and threw my bag on the floor. An alarm sounded up and the staff walked up and down the train inside and all the platform staff involved. Train eventually had to be evacuated and when I picked up my bag realised my rape alarm was going off — debbiedorman (@debbiedorman11) July 2, 2020
8.
Nuclear sirens went off one morning in Coventry in the early 80s. We went into the street, saw a couple of neighbours and then put the kettle on. — Caroline Cornell (@CarrieCornell) July 2, 2020
9.
One day I'll tell you about the time ww evacuated a whole hotel, closed the Trainline from London to the south west, closed the m25, closed the River Thames and diverted all planes coming into heathrow. — James H (@angusprune) July 2, 2020
I think we want to know that now …. https://t.co/acMOXdLlns — Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) July 2, 2020
Construction work at a hotel on the outskirts of London.
It was all a cluster, but long story short: digging a swimming pool and the JCB hit a major gas main. The sound of the gas escaping was heard miles away, and the massive cloud of gas meant everything had to be shut down. — James H (@angusprune) July 2, 2020
I was not the responsible party, btw. — James H (@angusprune) July 2, 2020
READ MORE
People are sharing the horror of mispronouncing words in public and here are 21 of the best
Source @caitlinmoran Images Pexels Screengrab


thepoke--2020-07-02--This comeback is almost as devastating as that asteroid

Comeback of the week goes to the person who kindly took the time to answer this query about cavemen and @ @ @ @ @ We ’ re presuming it ’ s a Creationist who asked it but who knows @ @ @ @ @ a fellow atheist struggling with their non-belief .
Here are just a few of the @ @ @ @ @ after it went viral on Reddit .
‘ Does this guy really think The Flinstones @ @ @ @ @ prehistoric times.
’ At0mHeartMother ‘ Even if we did survive what the fuck does that @ @ @ @ @ conscious entity controls the universe .
Not dying isn ’ t proof of anything except @ @ @ @ @ die.
’ Sprayface The takedown of this person who defended the Bible in its entirety @ @ @

Pics
Comeback of the week goes to the person who kindly took the time to answer this query about cavemen and the dinosaurs going extinct.
“Dear atheists,’ it begins …
We’re presuming it’s a Creationist who asked it but who knows, it could have been a fellow atheist struggling with their non-belief.
Here are just a few of the things people said about it after it went viral on Reddit.
‘Does this guy really think The Flinstones was an accurate depiction of prehistoric times.’ At0mHeartMother ‘Even if we did survive what the fuck does that do to prove that some conscious entity controls the universe. Not dying isn’t proof of anything except that you didn’t die.’ Sprayface ‘They were in a cave, Man.’ northwestwill
READ MORE
The takedown of this person who defended the Bible in its entirety was sheer perfection
Source Reddit u/MicroFlamer Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-07-02--This Q&A neatly sums up the differing driving experiences in the UK and US

This question – and answer – neatly sums up the differing driving experiences on either side of the Atlantic .
@ @ @ @ @ other nations to share their descriptions of what would happen next .
In Australia you @ @ @ @ @ a can of chrome spray-paint and subsequently go out in a spectacular blaze of glory @ @ @ @ @ Witness me !
” .
’ Alopexy ‘ In France you ’ d hurl insults @ @ @ @ @ so that you ’ re in front of the car , flip the bird , @ @ @ @ @ proceed to complain about that guy for the rest of the day to everyone who @ @ @ @ @ it.
’ graou13 ‘ In Russia you ’ d probably jump off your bike onto @ @ @ @ @ car , swing in through the passenger window , bash the driver , throw them @ @ @ @ @ vehicle , and speed away as your abandoned motorcycle explodes in the rear view mirror.
@ @

Popular
This question – and answer – neatly sums up the differing driving experiences on either side of the Atlantic.
Even better, it prompted other nations to share their descriptions of what would happen next.
In Australia you’re obligated to inhale a can of chrome spray-paint and subsequently go out in a spectacular blaze of glory whilst howling the phrase “Witness me!”.’ Alopexy ‘In France you’d hurl insults at the driver, accelerate so that you’re in front of the car, flip the bird, accelerate some more, and proceed to complain about that guy for the rest of the day to everyone who’s willing to hear it.’ graou13 ‘In Russia you’d probably jump off your bike onto the roof of the merging car, swing in through the passenger window, bash the driver, throw them out of their own moving vehicle, and speed away as your abandoned motorcycle explodes in the rear view mirror.’ Kie723
Source Reddit u/Caniscien Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-07-02--‘Imagine waiting 5 minutes at railway crossing and then see this’

This man took a photo of himself every day from 12 to the day he got married

Videos
Wait for it, wait for it …
READ MORE
How a train guard foiled a ticket cheat with detective work is essential reading
Source Reddit u/T0biasCZE YouTube


thepoke--2020-07-02--This man took a photo of himself every day from 12 to the day he got married

Here ’ s a lovely thing , a bit like that movie Boyhood except it ’ s over a lot @ @ @ @ @ s a guy called Hugo Cornellier who took a photo of himself every day from @ @ @ @ @ the day he got married .
It ’ s quite some effort but it was @ @ @ @ @ them altogether .
He did it a while ago , all the way from 2008 @ @ @ @ @ ’ s just gone viral on Reddit all over again .
‘ That is some @ @ @ @ @ ’ pedralm ‘ He ’ s had more haircuts in the first half a minute @ @ @ @ @ in 33 years.
’ Berzerker1066 People over 30 are sharing the cliches about growing older @ @ @ @ @ believe and turned out to be true

Videos
Here’s a lovely thing, a bit like that movie Boyhood except it’s over a lot more quickly.
It’s a guy called Hugo Cornellier who took a photo of himself every day from the age of 12 to the day he got married.
It’s quite some effort but it was well rewarded when he put them altogether.
He did it a while ago, all the way from 2008 to 2017, but it’s just gone viral all over again on Reddit.
‘That is some serious commitment and planning ahead.’ pedralm ‘Ahh yes, I finally found my absolute opposite-ganger.’ MBMV ‘He’s had more haircuts in the first half a minute than I’ve had in 33 years.’ Berzerker1066
READ MORE
People over 30 are sharing the cliches about growing older that they didn’t believe and turned out to be true
H/T Reddit u/MBMV Source YouTube


‘USA v Germany’

‘ USA v Germany , ’ says eugray over on Reddit .
‘ I ’ m torn between how there @ @ @ @ @ things we can criticize Trump for but also he and his followers only seem to @ @ @ @ @ humiliation might be the way to go.
’ Aquatic_Arson

‘USA v Germany,’ says eugray over on Reddit.
‘I’m torn between how there’s much more important things we can criticize Trump for but also he and his followers only seem to care about his image and humiliation might be the way to go.’ Aquatic_Arson
‘President Sippy-Cup vs. Chancellor Überchug.’ sd_ward
‘My money’s on the chancellor.’ thefunivehad


thepoke--2020-07-02--‘He did say please’

‘He did say please’

To be filed under ‘ If you think you ’ re having a bad day , it could be worse @ @ @ @ @ ‘ He did say please , ’ says WeTheIndecent who shared the picture over on @ @ @ @ @ their dilemma .
Although , as lots of people were keen to point out , @ @ @ @ @ solution .
‘ It ’ s slightly comical , but seems like a logical next @ @ @ @ @ just go down to the police station to report it.
’ clarinet5617 This person suggested @ @ @ @ @ safe as they used to be and was schooled on basic physics

Pics
To be filed under ‘If you think you’re having a bad day, it could be worse …’ comes this.
‘He did say please,’ says WeTheIndecent who shared the picture over on Reddit.
We can see their dilemma. Although, as lots of people were keen to point out, there may be a straightforward solution.
‘It’s slightly comical, but seems like a logical next step would have been to just go down to the police station to report it.’ clarinet5617
Well, yes.
READ MORE
This person suggested cars aren’t as safe as they used to be and was schooled on basic physics
Source Reddit u/WeTheIndecent


thepoke--2020-07-02--Just in case anyone still needs persuading to wear a mask during the pandemic

Most people accept the benefits of wearing a mask at certain times and in certain places , but some people still need persuading ( and tend to get very , very angry about it ) .
But if anyone ’ s still in any doubt , perhaps this will help .
Dr Richard Davis , who is a clinical microbiology lab director , sneezed , sang , talked and coughed over an agar culture plate , once wearing a mask , and once without .
This is what happened next .
He then did a similar thing , except instead @ @ @ @ @ @ @ distance , to show how helpful it is to social distance .
Here he is in action , from Dr Richard Davis ’ s Twitter feed .
Just in case you ’ d prefer to watch a video , there was also this .
The doctor , who apart from everything else also seems to be a very lovely guy , later had this to say about it all .
The post proved very popular over on Reddit , where there were still people who weren ’ t buying it .
And this @ @ @ @ @ @ @ This American woman ’ s fury at being asked to wear a mask is next level stuff

Popular
Most people accept the benefits of wearing a mask at certain times and in certain places, but some people still need persuading (and tend to get very, very angry about it).
But if anyone’s still in any doubt, perhaps this will help.
Dr Richard Davis, who is a clinical microbiology lab director, sneezed, sang, talked and coughed over an agar culture plate, once wearing a mask, and once without. This is what happened next.
He then did a similar thing, except instead of wearing a mask he kept his distance, to show how helpful it is to social distance.
Here he is in action, from Dr Richard Davis’s Twitter feed.
Just in case you’d prefer to watch a video, there was also this.
My mask vs. no mask demonstrations got perfectly summarized in this brief 34 second video. Masks keep your respiratory secretions to yourself! @providence_phc https://t.co/kkK0KIhSbf — Rich Davis, PhD, D(ABMM), MLS 🦠🔬🧫 (@richdavisphd) June 26, 2020
Local telly also covered it.
Something extra cool, local reporter Kevin Kim came to our teaching lab and tried this same demonstration himself (his reaction in this clip was absolutely genuine). Story airs tonight @KHQLocalNews The take home: masks matter! https://t.co/0UbIviaPVM — Rich Davis, PhD, D(ABMM), MLS 🦠🔬🧫 (@richdavisphd) June 26, 2020
The doctor, who apart from everything else also seems to be a very lovely guy, later had this to say about it all.
Masks as a political/social litmus test or used to shame those who won’t (or disabled folks who truly can’t!) wear them is a travesty. We wash hands after using the bathroom & wipe noses on tissues. Masks/face shields need to be just another normalized act of hygiene. #MasksWork — Rich Davis, PhD, D(ABMM), MLS 🦠🔬🧫 (@richdavisphd) June 26, 2020
I saw a number of people ask this: how did I sneeze on command? I actually got a packet of pepper from the cafeteria to try to make myself sneeze – didn’t work, just got watery eyes. So I just did a fake stage-sneeze at the plate. https://t.co/LVwUbbxA48 — Rich Davis, PhD, D(ABMM), MLS 🦠🔬🧫 (@richdavisphd) June 27, 2020
A lot of people asked this: “could you do this with ___ type of mask?” (homemade, single layer, cotton, N95 etc.) So it’s not a bad idea but I would honestly expect the outcome of THIS demonstration to be essentially the same and here’s why…https://t.co/NRQ6em1d9F — Rich Davis, PhD, D(ABMM), MLS 🦠🔬🧫 (@richdavisphd) June 27, 2020
I try to be really clear what this does & does not show. DOES SHOW: the act of talking (or coughing, sneezing, singing) causes particles of liquid to come out of your mouth. DOES SHOW: those droplets can carry microbes like bacteria DOES SHOW: a mask blocks most of those — Rich Davis, PhD, D(ABMM), MLS 🦠🔬🧫 (@richdavisphd) June 27, 2020
DOES NOT SHOW: what is the number, size, and distribution of respiratory droplets produced by coughing/talking etc. DOES NOT SHOW: could these droplets carry viruses (like SARS-CoV-2), does a mask block THOSE (Based on what we know you can intuit/infer this, but it’s not shown) — Rich Davis, PhD, D(ABMM), MLS 🦠🔬🧫 (@richdavisphd) June 27, 2020
Something I repeated enough while talking that reporter Kevin finally asked, “Why do you keep calling it a ‘demonstration’ and not an ‘experiment’?” To me this is purely a demonstration bc 1) it was just one single data point and 2) I essentially knew the outcome going in — Rich Davis, PhD, D(ABMM), MLS 🦠🔬🧫 (@richdavisphd) June 27, 2020
OK here’s what was probably the most common question I saw: what did I sing at (to??) my culture plates. It was “Dear Theodosia” from Hamilton, top of my lungs. If I could have anyone’s singing talent it would be Leslie Odom Jr.’s. (Spoiler: I don’t.) https://t.co/tEf2gKockr — Rich Davis, PhD, D(ABMM), MLS 🦠🔬🧫 (@richdavisphd) June 27, 2020
“Microbiology in six words or less…” https://t.co/ZgHshBNMPX — Rich Davis, PhD, D(ABMM), MLS 🦠🔬🧫 (@richdavisphd) June 27, 2020
The post proved very popular over on Reddit, where there were still people who weren’t buying it. And this comment was surely the perfect response.
‘To those of you reporting this for misinformation, I hope you don’t wear a mask, I hope you wear a diaper over your mouth to stop the shit the flows out of it.’ iBleeedorange
READ MORE
This American woman’s fury at being asked to wear a mask is next level stuff
Source Twitter @richdavisphd H/T Reddit


thepoke--2020-07-02--This guy thought he’d lost his bike and the unexpected twist made everyone’s day better

It ’ s a post that went viral after it was shared on Twitter by @ PrimaryDeputyH who said : @ @ @ @ @ ?
!
’ This lovely tale of a duckling rescue mission is exactly the good @ @ @ @ @ now

Popular
Good news story alert!
It’s a post that went viral after it was shared on Twitter by @PrimaryDeputyH who said: ‘How wonderful is this?!’
Answer: very wonderful.
I hope @Se_Railway acknowledge this employee 👍 — John Winterton (@wint_twin_1) June 30, 2020
Mr Abdul Muneeb, you are a top man. Thank you, Mr Deputy Head, for posting this. — Bee Middlemast-Neal #GTTO #FBPE #BLM #Antifa (@Mistywoman1) July 1, 2020
Ahhhh how brilliant! Good to hear stories like this. Sometimes you forget there are superstars out there as well as the eejits — Elly Fiddler (@SciEnrichForPri) June 30, 2020
This is just completely fabulous 😊❤💕Love Abdul for a) waiting so patiently and b) having the genius to hold on to the lock so he'd know the real owner of the bicycle 🚴🏼 What a treasure ❤ — Emmselk 🇪🇺 #UnitedInDiversity (@Emmselk) July 1, 2020
READ MORE
This lovely tale of a duckling rescue mission is exactly the good news story we needed right now
Source Twitter @PrimaryDeputyH


thepoke--2020-07-02--Vanilla Ice will play a concert in pandemic hit Texas – 5 cold as ice takedowns

Vanilla Ice will be playing a Fourth of July concert in Texas despite a surge in the number of coronavirus @ @ @ @ @ only be able to do it because of a legal loophole that allows restaurants to @ @ @ @ @ restaurant has a very large outdoor area .
Large enough for thousands of fans to @ @ @ @ @ fact .
And these 5 takedowns were as cold as , well , you can @ @ @ @ @ big news was actually this .
This Game of Thrones/Vanilla Ice mash-up is next level @

Twitter
Vanilla Ice will be playing a Fourth of July concert in Texas despite a surge in the number of coronavirus cases.
He’ll only be able to do it because of a legal loophole that allows restaurants to stay open and this particular restaurant has a very large outdoor area. Large enough for thousands of fans to come and watch, in fact.
Ice cold: Vanilla Ice will perform for thousands in Texas, where coronavirus cases are surging. "We didn't have coronavirus" in 1990s, the rapper said. https://t.co/9S4LlZZZgo — Entertainment Weekly (@EW) July 1, 2020
And these 5 takedowns were as cold as, well, you can probably guess.
1.
Getting the coronavirus at a Vanilla Ice concert has to be one of the lamest ways to die possible. — Jeffrey Royer (@JeffreyRoyer) July 1, 2020
2.
Up until now I trusted his takes on infectious diseases — Kyle (@KylePlantEmoji) July 2, 2020
3.
Alright stop, grab a mask and listen
Ice is back with a whole new infection — ♿ (@aeirould) July 1, 2020
4.
imagine living through WWII and Vietnam then dying because your grandkids went to a Vanilla Ice concert in 2020 https://t.co/gkEO1JZUo9 — Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) July 2, 2020
5.
i wouldn't risk getting a deadly virus to see Vanilla Ice play. actually i wouldn't step outside my front door to see Vanilla Ice play a live concert on the hood of my car https://t.co/pJZX1rz43h — Scott Weinberg (@scottEweinberg) July 1, 2020
Maybe the big news was actually this.
The real news here is that there are more than a thousand people who want to see Vanilla Ice perform https://t.co/AlF0IleVZU — Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) July 2, 2020
To conclude …
All right, stop. https://t.co/O9ejG0KgUV — Todd in the Shadows (@ShadowTodd) July 2, 2020
READ MORE
This Game of Thrones/Vanilla Ice mash-up is next level stuff
Source @EW


thepoke--2020-07-02--11  favourite reactions to the oddities of the coronavirus crisis

We trawled through all the justifiably angry tweets about the coronavirus crisis to find the angry-but-funny tweets , and the @ @ @ @ @ .
We respect the message , but get it right , people 2 .
Local @ @ @ @ @ we thought 3 .
The anti-maskers are struggling to pick a pose and stick with @ @ @ @ @ of us are covering ourselves in glory 6 .
Entrepreneurs gon na entrepren – or @ @ @ @ @ 7 .
Top tip : Leave your cowboy-hat-wearing otter at home when you go shopping @ @ @ @ @ by drunks isn ’ t everybody ’ s idea of a good time 11 .
@ @ @ @ @ funnier than fiction Finally , we ’ re going to the pub when Jonathan Van-Tam @ @ @ @ @ one , though .
We ’ re not stalkers .
11 of the funniest tweets @ @ @ @ @ handling the pandemic

Twitter
We trawled through all the justifiably angry tweets about the coronavirus crisis to find the angry-but-funny tweets, and the simply funny ones.
You’re welcome.
1. We respect the message, but get it right, people
I keep seeing this meme and wondering how the hell people came away from that film thinking the park opened pic.twitter.com/fJrWWyr6Dy — Seb Patrick (@sebpatrick) June 30, 2020
2. Local lockdowns are even weirder than we thought
one of my friends lives on the border of leicester and he spotted one of his friends in the street and he turned to talk to him at the precise moment the new lockdown came into force and now his penis is allowed out but his bottom has to stay inside — MATT LUCAS (@RealMattLucas) July 1, 2020
3. The anti-maskers are struggling to pick a pose and stick with it
I hear your dad has briefly stopped posting how big & tough he is & how brilliant he'd be in a war, in order to claim that he was asphyxiated almost to death by wearing small piece of breathable fabric to buy his frozen lasagne for one — Gee Aitch Cee (@Scriblit) July 1, 2020
4. Not many of us are covering ourselves in glory
Me in The story I'll tell
Quarantine my Grandchildren https://t.co/e8UkPKROKZ — adorable (@adorablegirl04) July 1, 2020
5. Shakespeare wrote King Lear during a plague …blah, blah, blah
The lockdown has allowed me to dedicate time to pursuing the hobbies & interests I’ve neglected. Such as: – Constantly eating.
– Avoiding voice and video calls.
– Crying in the bath for 6 hours a day. — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) April 16, 2020
6. Entrepreneurs gonna entrepren – or whatever it is they do
Social distancing shoes have arrived pic.twitter.com/KsJdj0hDEl — Mrs Chubby ❁ (@floppychubby) July 1, 2020
7. Top tip: Leave your cowboy-hat-wearing otter at home when you go shopping
Those Perspex screens in shops are no match for this virus what with those massive gaps in them you could fit an otter wearing a cowboy hat through — Ash Warner (@AlsBoy) July 1, 2020
8. Social distancing isn’t the only problem facing reopened businesses
None of us have been on holiday recently so what the fuck are hairdressers going to talk about 🤔 — SoliTrude (@Trudski2012) July 1, 2020
9. Being coughed on by drunks isn’t everybody’s idea of a good time
Pubs are reopening this Saturday and I'm really looking forward to not going anywhere near them in order to prevent the spread of a deadly virus — Chris Purchase 🌈 (@ChrisPurchase) July 1, 2020
10. Tag, Leicester – you’re it
There was a young man from Leicester,
Who stayed in Leicester,
He’s still in Leicester,
More news on this story as we have it. — paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) July 1, 2020
11. Sometimes, the truth is funnier than fiction
currently sat in a&e and there’s a woman wearing an onion around her neck to protect her from “the virus” ???? — sanmeet (@sanmeeet) July 1, 2020
Finally, we’re going to the pub when Jonathan Van-Tam does – not the same one, though. We’re not stalkers.
An epidemiologist, an ICU doctor, and a scientist walk into a bar…. Just kidding. — Amanda Weinstein (@ProfWeinstein) July 1, 2020
READ MORE
11 of the funniest tweets about how we’re handling the pandemic
Image Seb Patrick


thepoke--2020-07-02--This question about a shark went viral – but the responses were a bit fishy

This philosophical question about a shark ’ s musical potential has been providing an excellent distraction from the bin fire @ @ @ @ @ now .
See what you think .
In less than 24 hours , it ’ @ @ @ @ @ almost 64,000 times , and probably stolen for Facebook and Reddit a good few more @ @ @ @ @ being honest .
What we really like is how much thought people have been giving @ @ @ @ @ got this response .
But the definitive answer was only ever going to come from @ @ @ @ @ now we know .
Seven funny reactions to the 392-year-old shark that will fin-ish you

Twitter
This philosophical question about a shark’s musical potential has been providing an excellent distraction from the bin fire that is the world right now.
See what you think.
Do sharks play the harmonica like
this or this pic.twitter.com/IDDh5YcFuJ — clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) July 1, 2020
In less than 24 hours, it’s been shared on Twitter almost 64,000 times, and probably stolen for Facebook and Reddit a good few more, if we’re being honest.
What we really like is how much thought people have been giving to their answers.
Depends on the hemisphere they're in — Raccoon at Home (@Seebo429) July 1, 2020
they duct tape them to each of their fins and swim hwaaaaAaaaaAaaaAaAnh — House ⚔ (@mrmatthouse) July 1, 2020
If water works the way air does in creating sound from a harmonica then…. a shark would need to have a harmonica at its mouth (breathing in) and its gills (breathing out) to create the full range of sound a harmonica can make 😂 also itd be constant noise from a ram ventilator — Amani Webber-Schultz (@Curly_Biologist) July 1, 2020
One person had a request.
can the shark play piano man on that thing? — Hippo (@CEOofHotTakes) July 1, 2020
Piano man eater — clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) July 1, 2020
Someone spotted a problem.
isn't… the harmonica the wrong way round though? — Fenna (@b0wlerhat6) July 1, 2020
Then never claimed to be good at it — clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) July 1, 2020
There’s always one …
i don’t think they play the harmonica — luke (@hedoobie) July 1, 2020
Please don’t break my heart — clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) July 1, 2020
Astrophysicist Dr. Héloïse Stevance put out a call for expert guidance.
Do any marine biologists follow me and could give us an answer to this pressing question?@AcademicChatter https://t.co/peVgvfDN8u — Dr. Héloïse Stevance 💖💥(she) (@Sydonahi) July 1, 2020
She got this response.
I understood that most sharks play 10 harmonicas at once. Some incredible sharks, such as the broadnose sevengill shark can play 14 harmonicas at once. — Benjamin L. Jones (@BoardshortsBen) July 1, 2020
But the definitive answer was only ever going to come from one source.
I like to sing WHILE I harmonica, so I prefer to gill it. — Bruce Shark (@BruceShark5) July 1, 2020
So, now we know.
READ MORE
Seven funny reactions to the 392-year-old shark that will fin-ish you
Source clean slate Image clean slate


thepoke--2020-07-02--18 of our favourite out-of-the-ordinary book dedications – NSFW

Many authors add a touching dedication to friends , family or other people who have helped or inspired them in @ @ @ @ @ , but most of them are – let ’ s face it – dull .
@ @ @ @ @ a little something extra .
5 .
An Introduction to Algebraic Topology by Joseph J.
@ @ @ @ @ Guide to the North American Teenager by Ben Philippe 8 .
Let ’ s Pretend @ @ @ @ @ Lawson

Pics
Many authors add a touching dedication to friends, family or other people who have helped or inspired them in the completion of their work, but most of them are – let’s face it – dull.
These, however, have a little something extra.
1. The Foolish Dictionary by “Gideon Wurdz”
Via
2. Red Country by Joe Abercrombie
Via
3. A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin
Via
4. Diary of a Mad Diva by Joan Rivers
Via
5. An Introduction to Algebraic Topology by Joseph J. Rotman
Via
6. The End Games by T. Michael Martin
Via
7. The Field Guide to the North American Teenager by Ben Philippe
Via
8. Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson
Via
9. Skulduggery Pleasant: Mortal Coil by Derek Landy
Via


thepoke--2020-07-04--Boris Johnson tried to string two words together and it’s harder than you think

Here ’ s Boris Johnson trying to string two words together and it ’ s like an 8-second distillation of @ @ @ @ @ Street to date .
And just a few of the things people were saying about @ @ @ @ @ only person who ’ s been struggling with his words .
The only 5 responses @ @ @ @ @ ’ s advice to not overdo it at the pub

Videos
Here’s Boris Johnson trying to string two words together and it’s like an 8-second distillation of his entire time in Downing Street to date.
And just a few of the things people were saying about it today.
You can say that again pic.twitter.com/YW6elyjxAh — Scott Innes (@Flying_Inside) July 3, 2020
We hope to prevent a second wave through a world beating programme of contract tasting. #DailyBriefing pic.twitter.com/12b8BTUj5i — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) July 3, 2020
I realise I'm veering close to whataboutery but just imagine what would have happened if Diane Abbott had lost the power of speech like this on live TV… https://t.co/sShbXXvFdj — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) July 3, 2020
Am I the only one feeling ashamed to be British that this gibbering inarticulate walking parody is the Prime Minister? This is embarrassing to watch. He has lost the basic power of speech — ALASTAIR CAMPBELL (@campbellclaret) July 3, 2020
Works as a loop. https://t.co/jOBIn5c00J — Jemaine Clement (@AJemaineClement) July 4, 2020
to be fair 'contact tracing' is a bit of a tongue twister pic.twitter.com/1CcZfONu3a — Darren Dutton (@Darren_Dutton) July 3, 2020
Not the only person who’s been struggling with his words.
Trump’s pronunciation of totalitarianism has got to be my favorite moment of this speech #TrumpRally pic.twitter.com/vQHfaxuUG2 — Ethan Somers (@ethanjsomers) July 4, 2020
READ MORE
The only 5 responses you need to the government’s advice to not overdo it at the pub
Source @MattGarrahan


thepoke--2020-07-03--Pubs in England will reopen at 6am on Saturday and people had thoughts – here are 13 of them

Everyone was expecting pubs in England to reopen on Saturday .
Probably not many people , however , were expecting @ @ @ @ @ .
And whatever you think about the sagacity ( or otherwise ) of boozers opening @ @ @ @ @ feels a little , well , early ?
Lots of people had thoughts .
Here @ @ @ @ @ 8 favourite reactions to Boris Johnson ’ s dad flying to his villa in Greece

Twitter
Everyone was expecting pubs in England to reopen on Saturday. Probably not many people, however, were expecting them to reopen at 6am.
And whatever you think about the sagacity (or otherwise) of boozers opening their doors again, 6am feels a little, well, early?
Lots of people had thoughts. Here are 13 of them.
1.
Why? The only pubs I know that ever open for breakfast are Wethersp… Oh. https://t.co/JcdYeyzDAz — Ian Hyland (@HylandIan) July 3, 2020
2.
Reopening Britain's pubs on a sunny Saturday in July was dumb enough.
Letting them open from 6am is stupefyingly stupid.
Does anyone at No10 have a brain?
Or do they just want us all to die?
Serious questions. — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) July 3, 2020
3.
Welcome to Britain. You can't see your family if you have already been in contact with another household but you can meet your family at a wetherspoons at 6am tomorrow to get fucking annihilated because this is an entirely normal country. — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) July 3, 2020
4.
Stay alert by getting completely off your tits at 6am — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 3, 2020
5.
I live next to a Wetherspoons. Pray for me. — Jen Shorten (@ptexpat) July 3, 2020
6.
I’m really looking forward to going clubbing tomorrow lunchtime. — Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) July 3, 2020
7.
I'm really torn between going to the pub at six in the morning and catching the number 10 bus to Huyton so I can lick the handrails. — Oonagh (@Okeating) July 3, 2020
8.
Should be nice and ‘relaxed’ right enough. Watch for the spike in a fortnight followed by the pant shitting panic. https://t.co/C2i0jwjMH4 — Irvine Welsh (@IrvineWelsh) July 3, 2020
9.
“You can get wankered from sunrise” doesn’t exactly scream “everyone please be responsible” https://t.co/tFoVZjs75q — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 3, 2020
10.
[10 Downing Street] “We need to make sure that people get the blame for our screw-ups and a second wave rather than us. Any ideas?” Cummings: https://t.co/N9DfLhrN2D — David Schneider (@davidschneider) July 3, 2020
11.
Me (Thursday): "People should be careful not to overdo it when the pubs open" Me (Friday): "Plan this properly and you can be totally shit-faced by 7.30am" https://t.co/60kjqVEYLv — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) July 3, 2020
12.
This is completely irresponsible. You clapping for NHS workers who will now face drunk, aggressive and injured drinkers is the height of hypocrisy. pic.twitter.com/3RDn7Ki6nJ — Dan (@ClaytsMused) July 3, 2020
13.
Not sure what could be bleaker than sitting behind a plastic screen being handed a warm lager by someone in plastic gloves and a facemask at 6 on a Saturday morning, then being told I have to leave by 8 because it's someone else's turn on my chair But I guess this is Britain now — Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) July 3, 2020
READ MORE
8 favourite reactions to Boris Johnson’s dad flying to his villa in Greece
Image Unsplash


thepoke--2020-07-03--Simply 23 very funny things you can say both during sex and work video conference calls

People have been sharing things you can say that sound equally at home during sex and on a work video @ @ @ @ @ began when Declan Cashin – or @ Tweet_Dec – asked people to come up with @ @ @ @ @ it prompted lots and lots of replies .
Here are our 23 favourites ( including @ @ @ @ @ Tweet_Dec himself ) .

Twitter
People have been sharing things you can say that sound equally at home during sex and on a work video conference call.
It all began when Declan Cashin – or @Tweet_Dec – asked people to come up with suggestions on Twitter.
Things you can say during sex and also during work video conferences. Go! — Declan Cashin (@Tweet_Dec) July 2, 2020
And it prompted lots and lots of replies. Here are our 23 favourites (including quite a few from @Tweet_Dec himself).
1.
Is it just the 2 of us today? — Keith Abhaile. (@KeithWalsh2fm) July 2, 2020
2.
Let me finish first — Rachel Hawkins (@ourrachblogs) July 2, 2020
3.
I’m sorry I’m going to have to try to get in again with a different device… — Andy Heeps (@andyheeps) July 2, 2020
4.
“I’m going into presentation mode” — Alan Slattery (@AlanSla) July 2, 2020
5.
Let me know when you can see it — Declan Cashin (@Tweet_Dec) July 2, 2020
6.
I need to wrap this up because I’ve got another one right after — Adam Ilenich (@adamilenich) July 2, 2020
7.
Thanks for jumping on, Derek — Dave Harland (@wordmancopy) July 3, 2020
8.
Our connection is a bit off — James Kavanagh (@JamesKavanagh_) July 3, 2020
9.
Sorry, carry on, I thought you’d finished — Alex Wilson (@alex_g_wilson) July 2, 2020
10.
Can we record this??? — J Ø R D Å N (at ) (@jordanmcd) July 2, 2020
11.
At this point, I tend to bring in Graham from Accounts — Andrew Maison (@andrewmaison) July 2, 2020
12.