thepoke--2020-01-31--Katie Hopkins was tricked into accepting a NSFW fake award – and it’s simply superb

You may be aware that former Apprentice candidate and more recently hate-for-cash media personality , Katie Hopkins , has had her Twitter account suspended as she is investigated for violating Twitter ’ s terms of service with extreme bigotry .
Someone else who ’ s aware of it is YouTuber Josh Pieters , who shared something rather special .
If you can only read the big letters , the prize Hopkins travelled to Prague to collect was the Campaign to Unify the Nation Trophy , or the C.U.N.T .
The stunt involved an impressively elaborate set-up , with Josh creating @ @ @ @ @ @ @ promoting free speech , and actually registering it at Companies House for cover .
The online faces of the “ Cape Town Collective for the Freedom of Speech ” were Josh ’ s dad , the lady who does the announcements on the London Underground , and a former member of the Ku Klux Klan – the Oxford comma being crucial to that sentence .
He engaged the services of some actors to form an audience , booked the expensive Four Seasons Hotel in Prague , had a trophy engraved , and flew @ @ @ @ @ @ @ meal .
This is how Josh introduced the award .
“ We need freedom of speech , from politicians to journalists , campaign groups to creatives , YouTubers to you in this room , without being able to say what we think , without being able to mock other people , without being able to attack other people , we are not free.
“ This set her up to feel that she could say anything she wanted , and that ’ s exactly what she did .
The full video is ten minutes @ @ @ @ @ @ @ is littered with racial and religious slurs , but the whole thing is a masterclass in pisstaking fakery .
Some people felt that the prank lowered Josh to Hopkins ’ level , but Harry England addressed that with this supercut – yes , cut .
Josh ’ s video has had over 650,000 views in less than a day , and these are just a few of our favourite reactions .
As Josh himself said in his award dinner speech , we can ’ t think of a more worthy recipient of the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a pity she isn ’ t on Twitter to tell us all about it .
Almost .
5 favourite responses after Katie Hopkins was finally suspended by Twitter

Videos
You may be aware that former Apprentice candidate and more recently hate-for-cash media personality, Katie Hopkins, has had her Twitter account suspended as she is investigated for violating Twitter’s terms of service with extreme bigotry.
Someone else who’s aware of it is YouTuber Josh Pieters, who shared something rather special.
Now that Katie Hopkins can’t read Twitter, I can tell you that on Monday I made her fly to Prague to pick up a completely fake award. Video up shortly. pic.twitter.com/8EeQsQX6U3 — Josh Pieters (@joshua_pieters) January 30, 2020
If you can only read the big letters, the prize Hopkins travelled to Prague to collect was the Campaign to Unify the Nation Trophy, or the C.U.N.T.
The stunt involved an impressively elaborate set-up, with Josh creating a company with the supposed ethos of promoting free speech, and actually registering it at Companies House for cover.
The online faces of the “Cape Town Collective for the Freedom of Speech” were Josh’s dad, the lady who does the announcements on the London Underground, and a former member of the Ku Klux Klan – the Oxford comma being crucial to that sentence.
He engaged the services of some actors to form an audience, booked the expensive Four Seasons Hotel in Prague, had a trophy engraved, and flew out Ms Hopkins to enjoy a top-class meal.
This is how Josh introduced the award.
“We need freedom of speech, from politicians to journalists, campaign groups to creatives, YouTubers to you in this room, without being able to say what we think, without being able to mock other people, without being able to attack other people, we are not free.“
This set her up to feel that she could say anything she wanted, and that’s exactly what she did.
The full video is ten minutes long and her speech near the end is littered with racial and religious slurs, but the whole thing is a masterclass in pisstaking fakery.
Some people felt that the prank lowered Josh to Hopkins’ level, but Harry England addressed that with this supercut – yes, cut.
If anyone was wondering if he went a bit too far… pic.twitter.com/iLMIqTbrBs — Harry England (@Harry__England) January 30, 2020
Josh’s video has had over 650,000 views in less than a day, and these are just a few of our favourite reactions.
This is it. It doesn't get any better than this. Dude makes Katie Hopkins fly to Prague to pick up an award. A fake award. The C.U.N.T. award. https://t.co/G5dZ02LunQ — Mike Stuchbery 💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) January 30, 2020
As Josh himself said in his award dinner speech, we can’t think of a more worthy recipient of the C.U.N.T award.
It’s almost a pity she isn’t on Twitter to tell us all about it. Almost.
READ MORE
5 favourite responses after Katie Hopkins was finally suspended by Twitter
Source Josh Pieters Image Josh Pieters


thepoke--2020-01-31--A section of Trump’s precious wall blew over in high winds – 8 equally spectacular takedowns

One of Donald Trump ’ s key campaign promises was to build a wall along the southern US border , @ @ @ @ @ – that Mexico would pay for it .
The “ wall ” has turned out @ @ @ @ @ fence , Mexico isn ’ t paying a cent towards it , and in recent @ @ @ @ @ it blew over .
To be clear , the section of wall had been identified @ @ @ @ @ , and the concrete added to its base hadn ’ t yet set when the @ @ @ @ @ …it was already in need of strengthening .
Surprisingly to nobody , Twitter took the @ @ @ @ @ were almost as effective as the wind .
Red D. Wright had a suggestion as @ @ @ @ @ arisen .
Donald Trump ’ s brain short circuited and even the Fox News person @

Twitter
One of Donald Trump’s key campaign promises was to build a wall along the southern US border, and – lest we forget – that Mexico would pay for it.
The “wall” has turned out to be more of a fence, Mexico isn’t paying a cent towards it, and in recent strong winds, part of it blew over.
Portion of US border wall in California falls over in high winds and lands on Mexican side https://t.co/3uZutXxFp1 pic.twitter.com/1ktAv12Fm2 — CNN Politics (@CNNPolitics) January 30, 2020
To be clear, the section of wall had been identified as in need of strengthening, and the concrete added to its base hadn’t yet set when the winds rose. But again …it was already in need of strengthening.
Surprisingly to nobody, Twitter took the piss, and these takedowns were almost as effective as the wind.
1.
Was a windmill nearby? Maybe the wall got cancer. https://t.co/AfGwSHF0Kf — Hil.i.am (@hilaryluros) January 30, 2020
2.
So, the #BorderWall can be defeated by a big bad wolf, or a fan. https://t.co/gzNdxnJ91Z — Mike Wood (@mike_wood) January 30, 2020
3.
"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!" https://t.co/RZbbbmzO9k — Sarah Churchwell (@sarahchurchwell) January 30, 2020
4.
my tax dollars going to good use as so totally expected 🙃 https://t.co/zWaUS3A39X — pereden (@perepereden) January 30, 2020
5.
EVEN GOD HATES the WALL — Ma Joad (@MaJoad60410) January 30, 2020
6.
Only the “best” walls. — STOP*normalizing*trump (@linbreer) January 30, 2020
7.
Trump University school of engineering degrees at work. — Rob Visconti (@rvisconti) January 30, 2020
8.
Spectacular. A metaphor for this entire clown show. — My Sweet Baboo Redux (@babsben) January 30, 2020
Red D. Wright had a suggestion as to why the problem had arisen.
Trump must have hired his sons to build it — NoFucksgiven aka Red D. Wright (@no_fucksgiven) January 30, 2020
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Donald Trump’s brain short circuited and even the Fox News person laughed
Source CNN Image CNN Fox News


thepoke--2020-02-03--This dog really wants some food but he doesn’t want to make it too obvious

‘ I want some , but I don ’ t want to make it too obvious , ’ writes Reddit336 @ @ @ @ @ ?
– Reddit and it ’ s hilarious .
‘ Every time he tilts his @ @ @ @ @ ’ dzonibegood ‘ OMG , how is that guy keeping a straight face ?
’ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s used to it 🤣🤣🤣.
’ meisjoe2

Videos
‘I want some, but I don’t want to make it too obvious,’ writes Reddit336 over on – guess where? – Reddit and it’s hilarious and utterly adorable.
Brilliant.
‘Every time he tilts his head more. :D.’ dzonibegood ‘OMG, how is that guy keeping a straight face?’ kevnmartin ‘I bet he’s used to it 🤣🤣🤣.’ meisjoe2
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The look on the second dog’s face is sheer perfection
Source Reddit u/Reddit336


thepoke--2020-02-03--Terrible news layout of the day

Terrible news layout of the day

We want to make it quite clear from the outset that we are in no way laughing about people being @ @ @ @ @ the Independent shared the news could have been a little more carefully laid out .
@ @ @ @ @ two women couldn ’ t accomplish , but we doubt they ’ d want to @ @ @ @ @

Pics
We want to make it quite clear from the outset that we are in no way laughing about people being hurt, but the way the Independent shared the news could have been a little more carefully laid out.
the way these photos are placed in the independent makes it look like @WeeMissBea and Saoirse Ronan went absolutely hog wild at the BAFTAs pic.twitter.com/49scB5XGIq — Eva Short✨ (@evadiminutive) February 3, 2020
There’s nothing those two women couldn’t accomplish, but we doubt they’d want to do that. Probably.
Myself & Saoirse’s night got a little out of hand. https://t.co/1nLZm3THJK — Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) February 3, 2020
Source Eva Short Image Eva Short


thepoke--2020-02-03--‘My cat sitting on the back of my chair looks like she’s wearing a leather jacket’

‘ My cat sitting on the back of my chair makes it look like she ’ s wearing a leather @ @ @ @ @ over on Reddit .
And it does , it really does .
This kitten really @ @ @ @ @ and it ’ s very funny and totally adorable

Pics
‘My cat sitting on the back of my chair makes it look like she’s wearing a leather jacket,’ says jubjub666 over on Reddit.
And it does, it really does.
READ MORE
This kitten really wants to scare its owner and it’s very funny and totally adorable
Source Reddit u/jubjub666


thepoke--2020-02-03--A barista subtly called out a rude customer – and asks “Am I the Asshole?”

The service industries can be incredibly frustrating for the poor workers trying to remind themselves that the customer is always right , even when the customer is a massive wrong ’ un .
One Starbucks barista had a very subtle run-in with a customer who was incredibly rude , and she didn ’ t even have to be explicit about her displeasure .
This customer clearly didn ’ t understand the need to be specific in a coffee shop with dozens of options .
I ’ m a slave to the siren ( a Starbucks barista ) .
I ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I ’ m pretty good at having convos with customers and sensing when someone just wants the line moved forward .
Anyway , I was on register the other day , taking people ’ s orders .
Two older men were ordering from me .
One of them said “ a coffee , black ” , so I just asked to clarify the size he wanted and the roast ( blonde , medium or dark ) to which he first spoke to his friend and said , rudely Which is Dutch and translates @ @ @ @ @ @ @ is ) not the smartest gal that works here , huh ?
They could learn to use their brains a little “ Rude , right ?
She was only making sure he got the coffee he wanted .
Luckily , she was able to let him know she was onto him without being rude back – which would be a sacking offence .
Then he told me he wanted a medium dark roast .
So I nodded and then replied to him in Dutch , asking him the regular questions I would to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ eat or drink today ?
, What was your name for your other drinks ?
Do you have a Starbucks rewards card ? )
.
I was perfectly pleasant and smiley for the rest of the transaction but just conducted it in Dutch .
He answered the questions in English but his eyes were bulging out of his head .
His friend looked kind of worried but burst out laughing when they walked away .
The customers friend obviously thought it was funny that he ’ d been caught out , and the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , but Redditor u/ditchthatdutch ‘ s colleague wasn ’ t happy .
I realize it might not be the best look for someone in service , and when my coworker asked me what it was about and I explained , she seemed kinda confused as to why I would do that .
I don ’ t think it was an asshole move because I was still nice to the guy but I definitely called him out and made it clear to him that I ’ d understood the stuff he was saying .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ because of the position I was in at the time ( like customer service ? )
Here ’ s how other Redditors judged her sneaky clapback .
NTA – to the power of infinity .
“ Wow , ( this is ) not the smartest gal that works here , huh ?
They could learn to use their brains a little ” Fast food is rough .
To survive I recommend looking at it as live theatre .
He probably is going home to 101 Dalmatian puppies that he is going to turn @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t allowed to ask questions , you probably have to resort to being careful : Smallest cup size ( you can ’ t expect people to want a more expensive drink , can you ? )
and lightest coffee .
So acting like someone isn ’ t smart for asking you to clarify what you want is just shooting yourself in the foot and boasting about it .
NTA you were simply making sure he understood the questions you were asking , since he started speaking Dutch and didn ’ t give @ @ @ @ @ @ @ use another language to trash talk someone .
He got caught and was upset at it .
Not your problem and good on you for courteously ( and hilariously ) checking him .
Nobody thought the barista was an asshole , but one person understood how the Dutch-speaking guy had ended up in trouble .
Got to go – just off to sign up for Dutch lessons .

The service industries can be incredibly frustrating for the poor workers trying to remind themselves that the customer is always right, even when the customer is a massive wrong’un.
One Starbucks barista had a very subtle run-in with a customer who was incredibly rude, and she didn’t even have to be explicit about her displeasure.
It’s a longish read, but worth it.
This customer clearly didn’t understand the need to be specific in a coffee shop with dozens of options.
I’m a slave to the siren (a Starbucks barista). I’m pretty decent with most customers and I’m pretty good at having convos with customers and sensing when someone just wants the line moved forward.
Anyway, I was on register the other day, taking people’s orders. Two older men were ordering from me. One of them said “a coffee, black”, so I just asked to clarify the size he wanted and the roast (blonde, medium or dark) to which he first spoke to his friend and said, rudely
“Nou zeg, niet de slimste meid die hier werkt, hè? Ze zouden en beetje kunnen leeren om hun hersenen te gebruiken”
Which is Dutch and translates roughly to
“Wow, (this is) not the smartest gal that works here, huh? They could learn to use their brains a little“
Rude, right? She was only making sure he got the coffee he wanted. Luckily, she was able to let him know she was onto him without being rude back – which would be a sacking offence.
Then he told me he wanted a medium dark roast. So I nodded and then replied to him in Dutch, asking him the regular questions I would to complete an order (anything else to eat or drink today?, What was your name for your other drinks? Do you have a Starbucks rewards card?). I was perfectly pleasant and smiley for the rest of the transaction but just conducted it in Dutch. He answered the questions in English but his eyes were bulging out of his head. His friend looked kind of worried but burst out laughing when they walked away.
The customers friend obviously thought it was funny that he’d been caught out, and the customer himself didn’t say anything, but Redditor u/ditchthatdutch‘s colleague wasn’t happy.
I realize it might not be the best look for someone in service, and when my coworker asked me what it was about and I explained, she seemed kinda confused as to why I would do that. I don’t think it was an asshole move because I was still nice to the guy but I definitely called him out and made it clear to him that I’d understood the stuff he was saying. But maybe I shouldn’t have because of the position I was in at the time (like customer service?) AITA?
Here’s how other Redditors judged her sneaky clapback.
NTA – to the power of infinity. Who says this? “Wow, (this is) not the smartest gal that works here, huh? They could learn to use their brains a little” Fast food is rough. To survive I recommend looking at it as live theatre. He probably is going home to 101 Dalmatian puppies that he is going to turn into a jacket. ilovehockeysosomuch
I could not work at Starbucks. I swear i’d go off on a guy like that. Just choose the fuckin size. Jesus ElBatDood
If you aren’t allowed to ask questions, you probably have to resort to being careful: Smallest cup size (you can’t expect people to want a more expensive drink, can you?) and lightest coffee. So acting like someone isn’t smart for asking you to clarify what you want is just shooting yourself in the foot and boasting about it. ChristieFox
NTA you were simply making sure he understood the questions you were asking, since he started speaking Dutch and didn’t give you an answer. You should never use another language to trash talk someone. He got caught and was upset at it. Not your problem and good on you for courteously (and hilariously) checking him. MagicMauiWoweeColo-rectal Surgeon
Nobody thought the barista was an asshole, but one person understood how the Dutch-speaking guy had ended up in trouble.
Who says this? It’s really easy to lose your filter and make comments like that if your mother tongue is fairly obscure. After staying abroad a while you kind of get used to having a secret language noone understands. You can say anything. It’s great. Until it backfires. SnowscoranAsshole
Got to go – just off to sign up for Dutch lessons.
Source Reddit Image @brookecagle and @jtylernix on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-02-03--Italy’s Got Talent had an unbelievable balancing act with a featherlight touch

One of the best things about the many “ Got Talent ” shows around the world is that they go @ @ @ @ @ like their sister show , X Factor , so acts like this can get a @ @ @ @ @ That ’ s a real skill , that is ; not a transferable skill , @ @ @ @ @ still … The clip was shared by u/GabriCoci on r/BeAmazed , and we are – @ @ @ @ @ took the time to leave comments .
One person came over all philosophical .
Crazy @ @ @ @ @ of how important even the tiniest actions in our lives are .
A kind word @ @ @ @ @ A small decision to do the right thing or not .
The smallest things can @ @ @ @ @ and destruction .
That would probably get her the public vote .

Videos
One of the best things about the many “Got Talent” shows around the world is that they go way beyond singing acts, like their sister show, X Factor, so acts like this can get a bit of air time.
That’s a real skill, that is; not a transferable skill, to be fair, but still …
The clip was shared by u/GabriCoci on r/BeAmazed, and we are – as were these people who took the time to leave comments.
Didn’t think I’d watch the whole thing, I mean, how interesting or suspenseful can 6 minutes of someone holding palm fronds be? Watched the whole thing stewardplanet
Her shakey hands were giving me anxiety. FlowSoSlow
I don’t normally stick around for videos over 30 seconds but this was the most gripping thing I’ve watched in a while. uncannyinferno
One person came over all philosophical.
Crazy. Really made me think of how important even the tiniest actions in our lives are. A kind word vs a harsh one. A small decision to do the right thing or not. The smallest things can mean the difference between balance and destruction. SwanRonson1986
SaulTBolls pictured a very different scenario.
“Imagine one of the judges not liking it and hitting the buzzer while she has all that shit on her head.”
That would probably get her the public vote.
Source Reddit Image Italia’s Got Talent via Reddit


thepoke--2020-02-03--Priti Patel pledged to crack down on ‘counter-terrorist offenders’ and people are confused

Following the shocking terror attack in south London on Sunday , Home Secretary Priti Patel has been on TV to @ @ @ @ @ totally across it .
Although ‘ reassure ’ wasn ’ t necessarily the word that @ @ @ @ @ pledged to crack down hard on ‘ counter terrorist offenders ’ .
And not just @ @ @ @ @ 4 responses pretty much sum it up .
Enjoy Ian Hislop totally owning new Home @ @ @ @ @ support for capital punishment

Videos
Following the shocking terror attack in south London on Sunday, Home Secretary Priti Patel has been on TV to reassure people that she is totally across it.
Although ‘reassure’ wasn’t necessarily the word that sprang to mind after Patel pledged to crack down hard on ‘counter terrorist offenders’. And not just once, either.
"We are going to announce new measures tomorrow that will deal with the fundamentals of counter-terrorist offenders." Following the terror incident in Streatham, Home Secretary @patel4witham says new counter-terror related measures will be announced.https://t.co/r1nynDj5XQ pic.twitter.com/uBnR125jJ0 — Sky News (@SkyNews) February 2, 2020
These 4 responses pretty much sum it up.
What are counter terrorist offenders?#PritiPatel — The Sanity Clause ❄ (@StephenCarter2) February 3, 2020
Was #PritiPatel just talking about people committing "anti-terrorism’ offences? I know it’s just words and it’s early but politics is words and early is the job. — DrSuzanneConboy-Hill (@DemTigerpaw) February 3, 2020
Putting aside the curious concept of “counter-terrorist offenders”, it’s worth pointing out that changes already introduced in the Counter-Terrorism and Border Security Act 2019 mean that, if he were sentenced today, Sudesh Amman would not be automatically released early. https://t.co/BLpovnUW3g — The Secret Barrister (@BarristerSecret) February 3, 2020
https://twitter.com/PublicPriestley/status/1224256882661044224?s=20
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Enjoy Ian Hislop totally owning new Home Sec Priti Patel over her support for capital punishment


thepoke--2020-02-03--A farewell to the EU projected onto the White Cliffs of Dover gave people feelings

On Friday morning , as the UK headed into its last few hours as part of the European Union , @ @ @ @ @ By Donkeys held what is presumably their last event , and certainly one of their @ @ @ @ @ heartfelt words of the veterans deeply moved those not relishing the prospect of Brexit .
@ @ @ @ @ a very personal meaning for Elizabeth C. McLaughlin .
This poster campaign is expertly trolling @ @ @ @ @

Videos
On Friday morning, as the UK headed into its last few hours as part of the European Union, anti-Brexit campaign group, Led By Donkeys held what is presumably their last event, and certainly one of their biggest.
A message to Europe, this morning on the White Cliffs of Dover. Sound on. pic.twitter.com/E3VY8BaGjK — Led By Donkeys (@ByDonkeys) January 31, 2020
The powerful and heartfelt words of the veterans deeply moved those not relishing the prospect of Brexit.
1.
If only these people had been in charge of the Remain campaign… https://t.co/hoF5hK9Ufl — Fintan O'Toole (@fotoole) January 31, 2020
2.
I haven't said much about what's happening today. But as darkness falls on our last day, this says it all rather beautifully. https://t.co/fMmI8fGp4R — Jay Rayner (@jayrayner1) January 31, 2020
3.
Oh dear. Watch this. Warning, if you care, you may find something in your eye. Oh FFS. https://t.co/XzLbP6RYSo — Catherine Russell (@catherinerusse2) January 31, 2020
4.
Interesting what the generation before the boomers think innit https://t.co/fdyzFTFHPe — Reverend&TheMakers (@Reverend_Makers) January 31, 2020
5.
I've watched it many times this morning and seeing the single star gets me every time 😥 — Wishful Thinking 🏴 🇵🇹🇪🇺 (@Wishes6619) January 31, 2020
6.
Beautiful. So beautiful. That made me cry. Look after our star for us. But we will take it into our safekeeping so we can all be together again soon, understanding better the audacious brilliance of this peace project. — Fionna O'Leary, 🕷 #FBPE (@fascinatorfun) January 31, 2020
The veterans’ messages had a very personal meaning for Elizabeth C. McLaughlin.
My grandfather fought the Nazis in WWII as a part of the allied forces. He passed in 1993, and was one of the most humane men I ever knew. This broke me. Alliances matter. https://t.co/VNZ1QZeks4 — Elizabeth C. McLaughlin (@ECMcLaughlin) February 1, 2020
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This poster campaign is expertly trolling politicians using their own words
Source Led By Donkeys Image Led By Donkeys


thepoke--2020-02-03--Prince William’s face after Rebel Wilson’s Prince Andrew and Harry jokes deserved a Bafta all of its

Prince William’s face after Rebel Wilson’s Prince Andrew and Harry jokes deserved a Bafta all of its own

In a Bafta awards night of not too many memorable moments , thank goodness for actress Rebel Wilson , whose @ @ @ @ @ and had more to say than the rest of the ceremony put together .
The @ @ @ @ @ royal family , Baftas ’ outrageous lack of diversity , the failure of her latest @ @ @ @ @ , and the coronavirus .
But surely the best bit was the look on Prince @ @ @ @ @ her ‘ Royal Andrew Hall ’ gag .
Sign her up to host next year @ @ @ @ @ the one after that .

Twitter
In a Bafta awards night of not too many memorable moments, thank goodness for actress Rebel Wilson, whose three minute stint was funnier and had more to say than the rest of the ceremony put together.
The Aussie comedian took on the royal family, Baftas’ outrageous lack of diversity, the failure of her latest film, Cats, oh, and the coronavirus.
But surely the best bit was the look on Prince William’s face after her ‘Royal Andrew Hall’ gag.
Rebel Wilson and her hilarious introduction to the Best Director category 😂 #BAFTAs #EEBAFTAs (1/2) pic.twitter.com/JGmu4LPja1 — R a c h a e l 🌹 (@RachWoods97) February 2, 2020
Sign her up to host next year’s bash. And the one after that.
Three cheers for the producer who cut to William and Kate after Rebel Wilson’s Prince Andrew and Harry joke #BAFTAs — Carl Roper (@RoperCarl) February 2, 2020
“Honestly I don’t know if I could do what they do… I don’t have the balls” Rebel Wilson calling out the ALL MALE NOMINEES is my highlight so far #BAFTAs — mar ✨ (@vorreiharry) February 2, 2020
Rebel Wilson
“Welcome to the Royal Andrew Hall” NO ONE#BAFTAs pic.twitter.com/WF4KG5cWAt — Adam Willis (@adamtwillis) February 2, 2020
Rebel Wilson does 3 minutes; good jokes about Cats, all male nominations lists, coronavirus and her vagina; rescues BAFTAs. — Janine Gibson (@janinegibson) February 2, 2020
Rebel Wilson: best Bafta presentation speech in recorded history. #EEBAFTAs — boydhilton (@boydhilton) February 2, 2020
“I made this dress by sewing two old dresses together. The red is from the one time I didn’t win Miss Australia and the black is from a funeral I just went to for the feature film Cats” -Rebel Wilson #EEBAFTAs #AdamDriver & Joanne Tucker pic.twitter.com/ZPBaW92oJs — The Adam Driver Files (@AdamDriverFiles) February 3, 2020
Everyone may as well go home, Rebel Wilson has won the #BAFTAs pic.twitter.com/S3xm0GB4Vp — Jess Long (@JessCiara) February 2, 2020
Source Twitter @RachWoods97


thepoke--2020-02-03--This doctor giving a baby an injection has next-level distraction skills

Taking a child for vaccinations is always stressful , though not as stressful as seeing them seriously damaged by disease @ @ @ @ @ has been around the block a few times , however , and has a strategy @ @ @ @ @ run smoothly .
The clip has resurfaced on a subreddit called r/toptalent , and we @ @ @ @ @ that .
It reminded one Redditor of this cartoon , which just works perfectly .
@ @ @ @ @ this anti-vaxxer mum who can treat her child better than any doctor

Videos
Taking a child for vaccinations is always stressful, though not as stressful as seeing them seriously damaged by disease would be.
This paediatrician has been around the block a few times, however, and has a strategy to make the whole thing run smoothly.
The clip has resurfaced on a subreddit called r/toptalent, and we can’t argue with that.
It reminded one Redditor of this cartoon, which just works perfectly.
via
READ MORE
A very satisfying takedown of this anti-vaxxer mum who can treat her child better than any doctor
Source ThirtyPercentOff Image ThirtyPercentOff


thepoke--2020-02-03--Want to dress up as Jürgen Klopp? Olaf Falafel has the thrifty answer

Liverpool are 22 points ahead of the pack at the top of the Premier League , so manager Jürgen Klopp @ @ @ @ @ a lot more in recent weeks , albeit mostly on the back pages .
The @ @ @ @ @ very distinctive look .
Boiling this down to its components has had unfortunate repercussions in @ @ @ @ @ Twitter favourite , author and comedian Olaf Falafel , has a very low-cost idea for @ @ @ @ @ without looking like a murderous doctor – unless you are a murderous doctor .
It @ @ @ @ @ s just walked out of the boot room at Anfield .
Here are just a @ @ @ @ @ about Olaf ’ s disguise .
There ’ s even a word for it … @ @ @ @ @ interview went viral because of the naked joy – and the swearing

Videos
Liverpool are 22 points ahead of the pack at the top of the Premier League, so manager Jürgen Klopp has been in the news a lot more in recent weeks, albeit mostly on the back pages.
The big friendly German has a very distinctive look.
Via
Boiling this down to its components has had unfortunate repercussions in the past.
Harold Shipman keyring available at Liverpool FC shop. pic.twitter.com/1XDCVsC8xK — Reverend Cheesy de Pfeffel Chedderman (@FatherCheesy) August 2, 2018
However, Twitter favourite, author and comedian Olaf Falafel, has a very low-cost idea for replicating the iconic Klopp style without looking like a murderous doctor – unless you are a murderous doctor.
Jurgen Klopp disguise using a cap, shades and a train ticket pic.twitter.com/KojI6Afim0 — Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) February 1, 2020
It’s like he’s just walked out of the boot room at Anfield.
Here are just a few of the admiring comments about Olaf’s disguise.
Brilliant! I chuckled at that! — Big Gordon (@brookes_papa_G) February 1, 2020
There’s even a word for it …
READ MORE
Jürgen Klopp’s post-match interview went viral because of the naked joy – and the swearing
Source Olaf Falafel Image YouTube, Olaf Falafel


thepoke--2020-02-03--8 stylish takedowns of the woman fighting climate change with vintage Chanel

Nicky Rothschild , née Hilton – another of the hotel-owning family that includes big sis , Paris , has found @ @ @ @ @ climate change crisis .
Step aside , Greta Thunberg ; Nicky ’ s going to @ @ @ @ @ notes* wearing vintage Chanel clothing .
Possibly not an option open to most of us @ @ @ @ @ probably just carry on switching off lights and wearing four jumpers instead of turning on @ @ @ @ @ s reaction was predictable , and very funny .
Writer and climate activist , Emily @ @ @ @ @ for Nicky Hilton .
She ’ s probably writing to them all at this very @ @ @ @ @ this American politician ’ s climate change denial is boiling hot

Twitter
Nicky Rothschild, née Hilton – another of the hotel-owning family that includes big sis, Paris, has found a way to solve the climate change crisis.
Step aside, Greta Thunberg; Nicky’s going to save the world by *checks notes* wearing vintage Chanel clothing.
Nicky Hilton is fighting climate change by wearing vintage Chanel https://t.co/mRtfLPaLuZ pic.twitter.com/Qz7XRXXSdO — Page Six (@PageSix) January 31, 2020
Possibly not an option open to most of us, so we’ll probably just carry on switching off lights and wearing four jumpers instead of turning on the heating.
Twitter’s reaction was predictable, and very funny.
1.
2.
And here I thought the 9/11 first responders were brave. https://t.co/RqHSG3u3cy — David Vainqueur (@True_Canuck1) January 31, 2020
3.
I feel you. I’m wearing vintage M&S. https://t.co/JTt2YAzl4b — Alison Moyet (@AlisonMoyet) January 31, 2020
4.
What a fucking trooper. https://t.co/GHDatlQfbn — Liz Buckley (@liz_buckley) February 1, 2020
5.
My husband has a collection on tshirts that he has been wearing for 15 years, where is his news story and accolades? — absummer (@absummer) January 31, 2020
6.
You didn't factor this into your emissions scenario modelling, did you, Science? https://t.co/u6yWUjjWlO — Ketan Joshi (@KetanJ0) January 31, 2020
7.
"So stunning. So brave." Whatever would we do without the elites, I know it must be such a burden to shoulder all the worlds problems.
God Bless you Nicky Hilton, the world owes you. 🙄🤣 https://t.co/qIbEVxEiwT — Ali Quea (@quea_ali) January 31, 2020
8.
damn. they should make a movie about her struggles https://t.co/SgSDhWKeNl — Mehar Khursheed #ReleaseIslamabadProtesters (@curlistani) January 31, 2020
Writer and climate activist, Emily Atkin, had a suggestion for Nicky Hilton.
Cool, now tell all clothing companies to stop making so much shit for no reason and ask politicians to support climate regulations for textile manufacturers https://t.co/EyQcdDM10M — Emily Atkin (@emorwee) January 31, 2020
She’s probably writing to them all at this very moment.
READ MORE
The takedown of this American politician’s climate change denial is boiling hot
Source @PageSix Image @PageSix , YouTube


thepoke--2020-02-03--Daniel Hannan’s Brexit post wasn’t the zinger it seemed – 9 swift rebuttals

On the day after the UK exited the EU , one of the most prominent Brexiters had this zinger for @ @ @ @ @ .
The only problem with his gotcha moment was that the country is in a @ @ @ @ @ 2020 , and is still operating under EU rules , albeit with no representation in @ @ @ @ @ stopped by to call him out .
Finally , Chris Kendall took Hannan ’ s @ @ @ @ @ him .
Looking forward to those sunlit uplands next January .
Nish Kumar fronted a @ @ @ @ @ these people were FURIOUS

Twitter
On the day after the UK exited the EU, one of the most prominent Brexiters had this zinger for everyone who had predicted problems.
One day in and so far:
❌No food riots
❌No medicine shortages
❌No gridlocked motorways
❌No migrant camps in Kent
❌No collapse in house prices
❌No emergency tax rises
❌No world war
Weren't we told that "It's not Project Fear, it's Project Reality"? — Daniel Hannan (@DanielJHannan) February 1, 2020
The only problem with his gotcha moment was that the country is in a transition period until 31st December 2020, and is still operating under EU rules, albeit with no representation in the European Parliament.
People stopped by to call him out.
1.
It’s generally not Remainers who treat voters as if they’re too stupid to understand the simplest truths. The attitude continues to be remarkably effective for the likes of Mr Hannan. https://t.co/CzYzcL7Fre — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) February 2, 2020
2.
Watching smart people pretend to be morons is going to be one of the most trying aspects of the next year. https://t.co/zzHhv2Z5cj — Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) February 1, 2020
3.
I had a sweepstake on which Leaver would tweet this disingenuous goose honk first. I had you. Thanks mate! — Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) February 1, 2020
4.
Apparently three and a half years isn't long enough to understand the difference between 'No Deal' and 'Transition Period' . On the other hand he might not actually be that stupid – he could just be being a dick. https://t.co/XHTUiLuByv — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) February 1, 2020
5.
One day in and things are the same because we are still in the customs union, but now we have no say over anything, so yeah, nearly, Dan. — Danny Wallace 🇪🇺 (@dannywallace) February 1, 2020
6.
Transition period innit — Shelagh Fogarty (@ShelaghFogarty) February 1, 2020
7.
Jobs lost since the EU ref at: Adecco
LaCompagnie
Siemens
Gam Holding
Ford
Honda
Jaguar
Airbus
HSBC
Hankook Tire
Panasonic
Nissan
Toshiba
Hitachi
Next Plc
P&O
Sony
AXA
Lloyds
Barclays
UBS
Unilever
Dyson
JPMorgan
Heidelberg Cement — Von Karajan #FBPE #WeAreEurope (@Hubertelski) February 2, 2020
8.
UK is still in the customs union and single market, dolt. https://t.co/blOr4hSeOC — Kevin Maguire (@Kevin_Maguire) February 1, 2020
9.
✅ Still in the single market
✅ Still in the customs union
✅ Still paying into the EU budget
❌ No say
❌ No power
❌ On borrowed time. — Andy Ballingall #MakeVotesMatter 🇪🇺🇬🇧🇩🇪🤝 (@cnapan) February 1, 2020
Finally, Chris Kendall took Hannan’s argument and used it against him.
One day in and so far:
❌No sunlit uplands
❌No easiest deal in the world
❌No 350m for the NHS
❌No fantastic new trade deals
❌No global Britain
❌No end to austerity
❌No Empire 2.0
Weren't we told all the above? — Chris Kendall ⭐ (@ottocrat) February 1, 2020
Looking forward to those sunlit uplands next January.
READ MORE
Nish Kumar fronted a Horrible Histories Brexit special and these people were FURIOUS
Source Daniel Hannan Image Daniel Hannan, @sixstreetunder on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-01-31--Nish Kumar fronted a Horrible Histories Brexit special and these people were FURIOUS

Lots of people are marking the UK ’ s departure from the EU on Brexit Day and CBBC thought it @ @ @ @ @ a short Brexit special , briefly topped and tailed by comedian Nish Kumar .
It @ @ @ @ @ clip – educational and entertaining as Horrible Histories tends to be – letting kids know @ @ @ @ @ is from Britain – tea , sugar , cotton , the monarchy – doesn ’ @ @ @ @ @ .
And it ’ s fair to say not everyone appreciated it .
So much @ @ @ @ @ their Brexit Day .
Here are the funniest – sorry , most furious – responses @ @ @ @ @ when this bloke got involved .
Remember him ?
We hope Nish Kumar and the @ @ @ @ @ of themselves .
Because they should be , obviously .

Twitter
Lots of people are marking the UK’s departure from the EU on Brexit Day and CBBC thought it would do its bit with a short Brexit special, briefly topped and tailed by comedian Nish Kumar.
It’s actually an old clip – educational and entertaining as Horrible Histories tends to be – letting kids know that stuff they might think is from Britain – tea, sugar, cotton, the monarchy – doesn’t actually originate in Britain.
And it’s fair to say not everyone appreciated it. So much so that it quite spoiled their Brexit Day. Here are the funniest – sorry, most furious – responses.
Remain propaganda for kids? Wow. I can't wait for the BBC to collapse when the licence fee is scrapped👍 — Peter Lloyd (@Suffragentleman) January 31, 2020
Great Britain invented: The steam engine
The jet engine
The railway
The electric light bulb
The telephone
Human non-powered flight
The hovercraft
The telegraph
Pneumatic tyres
The World Wide Web
The electric motor
Cement
blacktop roads
The bicycle — Alfie’s Dad (@alfie_dad) January 31, 2020
Thank God that the BBC are finally being defunded. It's anti-Brit propaganda like this, that has inspired people to stop paying their licence fee.#BANTHEBBC — George Huwhite 🙋🏽♂ (@George_fixedit) January 31, 2020
If anyone was in any doubt that the "British" broadcasting company absolutely detest Britain, British history and the British people they can watch this. Fronted by the very nasty Nish Kumar and aimed at our children and grandchildren, this should leave no one in any doubt. — Mr Higgs-Boson (@higgyboson1) January 31, 2020
Well done BBC! After successfully making most of your broadcasts unwatchable you've now made your kids programming poison too. The exodus from the license fee will be delicious and well deserved — John W Bryar (@bryarjw1) January 31, 2020
Teaching children to undervalue their own nation Very 'on-brand' for Al-JaBeeba — Jon Harper 🇮🇪 (@CentreGround6) January 31, 2020
This is truly awful. Imagine teaching your kids to dislike their own country. A recipe for disaster. And this is why the licence fee will end. It can't come soon enough. — Adam (@AdamD79) January 31, 2020
And it really peaked when this bloke got involved. Remember him?
The crassness of this BBC children’s clip is remarkable. a) The slave trade was made illegal before Victoria became Queen. b) Her governments went to great lengths to stamp it out. c) Brits had access to tea and sugar due to free trade. d) Buying imports is not “un-British”. https://t.co/qmZEgVyybG — Douglas Carswell (@DouglasCarswell) January 31, 2020
We hope Nish Kumar and the Horrible Histories team are proud of themselves. Because they should be, obviously.
https://twitter.com/ElenaBjxrn/status/1223273891461844994?s=20
Lots of Brexit winners triggered and behaving like snowflakes under this. They do love freedom of speech. https://t.co/CnjC0Yu4Hl — John Rain CBE (@MrKenShabby) January 31, 2020
CBBC reused a Horrible Histories sketch from 10 years ago with a very scant introduction from Nish Kumar and now hundreds of yer das in the replies are accusing them of Remain propaganda. Very cool and normal https://t.co/xQXaIA0zcZ — Rory (@Moffat_Agnostic) January 31, 2020
READ MORE
Horrible Histories’ epic rap battles of history: Guy Fawkes vs Che Guevara


thepoke--2020-01-31--Sajid Javid said he was off to ‘north England’ and the entire internet shook its head

It probably seemed like a good idea at the time .
Chancellor Sajid Javid was on the train with a @ @ @ @ @ ministers , Liz Truss and Dominic Raab , when they decided it might make a @ @ @ @ @ did this .
And it struck people as more than a little odd .
Not @ @ @ @ @ – well , you can decide that for yourself – but the wording of the @ @ @ @ @ just a few of the many , many responses it prompted .
But where exactly @ @ @ @ @ would he be welcome anyway ?

Pics
It probably seemed like a good idea at the time. Chancellor Sajid Javid was on the train with a couple of his fellow cabinet ministers, Liz Truss and Dominic Raab, when they decided it might make a nice tweet.
So they did this.
And it struck people as more than a little odd. Not the people in the picture – well, you can decide that for yourself – but the wording of the tweet.
Here’s just a few of the many, many responses it prompted.
“Eee lad, we’re off to that there North England” https://t.co/fvAcGSWkZE — The Secret Barrister (@BarristerSecret) January 31, 2020
"I'm off to north England" said precisely no one ever from up north.https://t.co/QxH9VTKX9A — Ashley Cowburn (@ashcowburn) January 31, 2020
https://twitter.com/OwenJones84/status/1223273060326789120?s=20
'north England'?
It's not a flipping Disney film, and you're not our hero https://t.co/PtzVOezUqL — Alison McGovern (@Alison_McGovern) January 31, 2020
North England. There be dragons https://t.co/s7dDpDT9Pg — Stuart Maconie (@StuartMaconie) January 31, 2020
https://twitter.com/HeatherLaff/status/1223257823473229824?s=20
You know how some people treat Africa as if it was a country not a continent…
I think the Tories just found a way to be xenophobic against their own country.
"North England" https://t.co/aesZu24K0U — Femi (@Femi_Sorry) January 31, 2020
We on way to north England. We simplify word so north pleb can understand with ear holes. We love gregg and industry. https://t.co/rDe6hBS9qf — sam (@Chapakiin) January 31, 2020
https://twitter.com/jackremmington/status/1223274236271321088?s=20
But where exactly was he going?
By ‘north England’ he means they’re travelling to Milton Keynes doesn’t he? https://t.co/uVZjFDAwg6 — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) January 31, 2020
And would he be welcome anyway?
North England? Unless you're bringing a train full of cash, we're not interested mate. You can piss off back to South England at your earliest convenience. https://t.co/EyiUh3nPbr — Jonny McSwaggerton (@RuG_TheMunchies) January 31, 2020
Final word to @DavidHepworth.
There’s no smile quite as fixed as the smile of Cabinet minister being “sent north” on a Friday. pic.twitter.com/iRpbri9Sz2 — David Hepworth (@davidhepworth) January 31, 2020
READ MORE
Best Sajid Javid anecdote you’ll read today


thepoke--2020-01-31--This dog’s response every time his owner turns around is a total treat

This is just brilliant , this dog sat in the back of the car and his response every time his @ @ @ @ @ ?
Me ?
Nothing to see here .
The look on the second dog ’ @ @ @ @ @

Videos
This is just brilliant, this dog sat in the back of the car and his response every time his owner turns round.
‘It’s behind you,’ wrote sp3xy1 who shared it on Reddit.
Who? Me? Nothing to see here.
‘They both have great smiles!’ meatywood
READ MORE
The look on the second dog’s face is sheer perfection
Source Reddit u/sp3xy1


thepoke--2020-02-03--The punchline on the inside of this birthday card is just savage

We thought it was a sweet , funny card when we saw the front .
And then they opened up @ @ @ @ @ funny .
Funnier , in fact .
Just not so sweet .

Pics
We thought it was a sweet, funny card when we saw the front.
And then they opened up and it’s still funny. Funnier, in fact. Just not so sweet.
READ MORE
The Perfect Birthday Card
Source Reddit u/XAllenJarrelX


thepoke--2020-02-03--This emoji doesn’t mean what this school’s health clinic thinks it means

Well , that ’ s unfortunate .
Sure , this emoji looks a bit like someone coughing .
But surely @ @ @ @ @ lot more – like something else ?
‘ My sister ’ s school health clinic @ @ @ @ @ ’ wrote TwirlyGuacamole over on Reddit .
And this is why .
You ’ d @ @ @ @ @ make sure no-one could see you laughing .
And people more in the know than @ @ @ @ @ t an actual emoji , it was some ancient Clip art , just in case @ @ @ @ @ If you ever want a good chuckle , do a google image search for “ @ @ @ @ @ Kraile Guy trolls Samsung with ‘ dick pic ’ , is murdered by emoji

Pics
Well, that’s unfortunate. Sure, this emoji looks a bit like someone coughing. But surely it looks more – a lot more – like something else?
‘My sister’s school health clinic may need some emoji-education,’ wrote TwirlyGuacamole over on Reddit.
And this is why.
You’d need the mask just to make sure no-one could see you laughing.
And people more in the know than us said it wasn’t an actual emoji, it was some ancient Clip art, just in case you were wondering.
‘If you ever want a good chuckle, do a google image search for “people coughing”.’ Kraile
READ MORE
Guy trolls Samsung with ‘dick pic’, is murdered by emoji
Source Reddit u/TwirlyGuacamole


thepoke--2020-02-03--Self-own of the week

Self-own of the week

‘ You ’ re the problem , ’ writes Cereal_killer03 over on Reddit .
Or , to put it another @ @ @ @ @ meet an asshole in the morning , you met an asshole .
If you meet @ @ @ @ @ ’ re the asshole.
” j1mb0 “ If you smell shit everywhere you go , @ @ @ @ @ check your own heel ” killeronthecorner

‘You’re the problem,’ writes Cereal_killer03 over on Reddit.
Or, to put it another way …
“If you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. If you meet assholes all day, you’re the asshole.” j1mb0
“If you smell shit everywhere you go, it’s time to check your own heel” killeronthecorner


thepoke--2020-02-03--How to take down bigots

How to take down bigots

‘ I don ’ t care if repost made me laugh , ’ said iamafailedasian on Reddit .
‘ And @ @ @ @ @ bigotry , not with sticks and stones , but with a sharpened tongue.
’ AlucardVampire

An all-time classic takedown.
‘I don’t care if repost made me laugh,’ said iamafailedasian on Reddit.
‘And that is how you fight bigotry, not with sticks and stones, but with a sharpened tongue.’ AlucardVampire


thepoke--2020-02-03--This author had the perfect response to the person who said his textbook made him cry

‘ What was the last book that made you cry ?
’ asked Twitter Books on , well , Twitter @ @ @ @ @ rather good response went one level better when this happened .
And it prompted a @ @ @ @ @ author to get in touch .
‘ Dr .
Freedman was my physics prof for @ @ @ @ @ attest to the book and his lectures being tear inducing.
’ butteriswet ‘ Rofl .
@ @ @ @ @ He ’ s a family friend of mine .
Edit : he ’ s a @ @ @ @ @ just in case you want to read it for yourself .

Pics
‘What was the last book that made you cry?’ asked Twitter Books on, well, Twitter, obviously.
And this rather good response went one level better when this happened.
Boom!
And it prompted a few people who know the author to get in touch.
‘Dr. Freedman was my physics prof for 2 quarters, can definitely attest to the book and his lectures being tear inducing.’ butteriswet ‘Rofl. I know that professor. He’s a family friend of mine. Edit: he’s a cool dude.’ biiingo
And just in case you want to read it for yourself.
READ MORE
“How I made $290,000 selling books”
Source Reddit u/turing042


thepoke--2020-02-04--The incredible way a hawk can stabilise its head is absolutely mindblowing

We wouldn ’ t have thought a hawk ’ s head would be quite this mesmerising , but we ’ @ @ @ @ @ when we ’ re wrong .
This clip was brought to our attention by a @ @ @ @ @ , and we can ’ t argue with that .
That ability to focus is @ @ @ @ @ hunting machines – death from above to rabbits , shrews , voles and other small @ @ @ @ @ few of the things people have said about it .
One person saw a metaphor @ @ @ @ @ extreme focus .

Videos
We wouldn’t have thought a hawk’s head would be quite this mesmerising, but we’re always happy to admit when we’re wrong.
This clip was brought to our attention by a Twitter account called Whoa Interesting, and we can’t argue with that.
That ability to focus is why hawks are such deadly hunting machines – death from above to rabbits, shrews, voles and other small creatures.
Here are a few of the things people have said about it.
whoa interesting yes https://t.co/t01AwNk5Uf — christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) January 31, 2020
I need to catch a hawk so I can try this for reals. Bit dark out. Will go tomorrow. — Tommy Campbell (@MrTommyCampbell) January 31, 2020
Videographers using a Gimbal https://t.co/PJ6Q3ZCb6X — Nank' uTatakho (@Mbasa_za) January 31, 2020
Omg I can't even wrap my head around how this is possible. https://t.co/CnZe9jZl4M — Maybell Romero (@MaybellRomero) January 31, 2020
One person saw a metaphor in the hawk’s extreme focus.
This that financial stability we're all chasing https://t.co/PAEiyFdovX — (@Nyokabiii3) January 31, 2020
Treasury, take note.
Source Whoa Interesting Image Whoa Interesting


thepoke--2020-02-04--This drunk man’s attempt to escape the police is as funny as it is ill-fated

‘ There was an attempt , ’ writes St0pX over on Reddit .
‘ To escape cops while drunk as @ @ @ @ @ try to run away from something in my dream.
’ lexfry ‘ This is like @ @ @ @ @ you run with a keyboard.
’ aro327 ‘ Reminds me of a new born giraffe @ @ @ @ @

‘There was an attempt,’ writes St0pX over on Reddit. ‘To escape cops while drunk as fuck.’
‘When I try to run away from something in my dream.’ lexfry
‘This is like that running game only where you run with a keyboard.’ aro327
‘Reminds me of a new born giraffe learning to walk.’ Ninusch


thepoke--2020-02-04--‘This man’s Amazon review is glorious!’

‘This man’s Amazon review is glorious!’

This couple bought a maternity dress which unfortunately didn ’ t fit the mum-to-be .
But it still came in @ @ @ @ @ 5-star review – because they did with this it and people love it .
People @ @ @ @ @ quality of the photo , so here it is a little bit bigger .
Not @ @ @ @ @ posted an update on Reddit .
… Thank you everyone for the kind words I @ @ @ @ @ January 2020 sucked so let ’ s all try to be a little nicer to @ @ @ @ @ we all do it the world would be a better place.
’ This ‘ adult @ @ @ @ @ is quite simply the funniest review you ’ ll read

Pics
This couple bought a maternity dress which unfortunately didn’t fit the mum-to-be.
But it still came in useful – and got a 5-star review – because they did with this it and people love it.
People were especially impressed with the quality of the photo, so here it is a little bit bigger.
Not only that, he later posted an update on Reddit.
‘Hey that’s me just a quick update we had the kid …
(via Imgur)
… Thank you everyone for the kind words I really appreciate it! Also January 2020 sucked so let’s all try to be a little nicer to each other, and if we all do it the world would be a better place.’
READ MORE
This ‘adult potty’ review on Amazon is quite simply the funniest review you’ll read
Source Reddit u/MayuMayhem


thepoke--2020-02-04--’10 reasons your dog’s haircut costs more than yours’ is very funny (and informative)

We can only assume the people who work in this pet grooming parlour got so fed up asking why it @ @ @ @ @ their dog ’ s hair that they did this .
And it manages to be @ @ @ @ @ .
They ’ ve had to explain this to Choosey Beggars so many times , @ @ @ @ @ ’ said RelentlesslyCrooked .
This cat swipes this dog ’ s turbo boost button and @ @ @ @

Pics
We can only assume the people who work in this pet grooming parlour got so fed up with people asking why it was so expensive to cut their dog’s hair that they did this.
And it manages to be both informative and very funny.
They’ve had to explain this to Choosey Beggars so many times, they have a list,’ said RelentlesslyCrooked.
‘Imagine giving someone a haircut and they just piss themselves.’ SuperJTB2015 ‘I have kids, I can imagine.’ Vwracer
READ MORE
This cat swipes this dog’s turbo boost button and the payoff is A+++
Source Reddit u/RelentlesslyCrooked


thepoke--2020-02-04--The SpongeBob SquarePants version of 1917 works far better than it should

Over on YouTube , someone called Carnage-Boy has put in the hours to produce a SpongeBob SquarePants version of the @ @ @ @ @ Mendes one-shot blockbuster may have all the awards , but does it have Eugene Krabs @ @ @ @ @ ?
No it does not – it has Colin Firth .
Who knew all that @ @ @ @ @ SpongeBob SquarePants ?
When Carnage-Boy posted the clip to Reddit , it picked up a @ @ @ @ @ .
Just so you can appreciate how good this is , here ’ s the @ @

Videos
Over on YouTube, someone called Carnage-Boy has put in the hours to produce a SpongeBob SquarePants version of the 1917 trailer.
The Sam Mendes one-shot blockbuster may have all the awards, but does it have Eugene Krabs in the Colin Firth role? No it does not – it has Colin Firth.
Anyway …feast your eyes.
Who knew all that dark footage was available in SpongeBob SquarePants?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!
When Carnage-Boy posted the clip to Reddit, it picked up a lot of much deserved love.
ytiCecapS This is incredible. Thank you.
AnaBanona My God, this was so well done. You’ve got a real talent there, my man.
PM_meSECRET_RECIPES Honestly this is one of the best things you could have spent your time on. In your lifetime.
Just so you can appreciate how good this is, here’s the original.
Source YouTube Image Carnage-Boy, Universal Pictures


thepoke--2020-02-04--This teacher ruined their day by accidentally calling a student by the name of their laptop

This tale might be filed under ‘ too good to check ’ but it still made us smile .
A @ @ @ @ @ by accidentally calling a student by the name of their laptop .
And just a @ @ @ @ @ and occasionally scary ) comments it prompted on Reddit .
‘ No windows ten that @ @ @ @ @ use a fucking paper clip.
’ David12008 ‘ I found out my workplace was spying @ @ @ @ @ called me by the name my phone was set on.
’ Just_an_Empath ‘ This sums @ @ @ @ @ a T. If someone mistakenly calls me Lenovo Signature , that ’ s now my @ @ @ @ @ longer Kevin .
There is no way I have the confidence to correct them lmao.
@ @

Popular
Here’s a story that made us smile today, a teacher whose day was completely ruined after accidentally calling a student by the name of their laptop.
How the hell did that happen, you may very well ask. Here’s how.
The teacher is Australian, just in case you’re thinking Lenovo isn’t exactly a common name (although we’ve no idea if it’s more common over there than it is over here).
And just a few of the funny (and occasionally scary) comments it prompted on Reddit.
‘No windows ten that’s not how you use a fucking paper clip.’ David12008 ‘I found out my workplace was spying on us when a manager called me by the name my phone was set on.’ Just_an_Empath ‘This sums up my social anxiety to a T. If someone mistakenly calls me Lenovo Signature, that’s now my name, I am no longer Kevin. There is no way I have the confidence to correct them lmao.’ livelylove14
READ MORE
A teacher had the perfect takedown when a former pupil dragged her on Facebook
Source Reddit u/emmyeggo Image Pexels


thepoke--2020-02-04--Stunt cyclist Danny MacAskill took his bike to the gym – and we’re in awe

Scottish trials cyclist Danny MacAskill practises for several hours a day every day , and he has done for years @ @ @ @ @ ’ s able to do stunts with his bike that would be the harbinger of @ @ @ @ @ us .
Cycling Weekly magazine has shared Danny ’ s latest YouTube video – “ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t expect a bit of running and some posing on the curls machine .
@ @ @ @ @ look at a few of those stunts , shall we ?

Videos
Scottish trials cyclist Danny MacAskill practises for several hours a day every day, and he has done for years, which is why he’s able to do stunts with his bike that would be the harbinger of certain death for most of us.
Cycling Weekly magazine has shared Danny’s latest YouTube video – “Gymnasium” – but don’t expect a bit of running and some posing on the curls machine.
Let’s take a look at a few of those stunts, shall we?
As YouTube user PapierPanierPiano remarked,
He’s more stable on a bike than most people on their feet
Source cyclingweekly.com Image Danny MacAskill


thepoke--2020-02-04--This guy found out not everyone has an internal narrative and minds are being blown

It ’ s an easy assumption to make that most other people think the same way we do .
Not what they think , but how they think .
Except it turns out that ’ s not the case .
We know this , not only because someone said this on Twitter , but because of all the many and varied responses it prompted .
And it ’ s fair to say a lot of people couldn ’ t get their head round it .
A chap called Ryan Langdon saw the tweet and decided to investigate further .
Not @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on his blog and they went viral because it wasn ’ t only his mind that was blown .
My day was completely ruined yesterday when I stumbled upon a fun fact that absolutely obliterated my mind .
I saw this tweet yesterday that said that not everyone has an internal monologue in their head .
All my life , I could hear my voice in my head and speak in full sentences as if I was talking out loud .
I thought everyone experienced this , so I did not believe that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Literally the first person I asked was a classmate of mine who said that she can not “ hear ” her voice in her mind .
I asked her if she could have a conversation with herself in her head and she looked at me funny like I was the weird one in this situation .
So I began to become more intrigued .
Most people I asked said that they have this internal monologue that is running rampant throughout the day .
However , every once in a while , someone @ @ @ @ @ @ @ experience this .
My life began to slowly spiral out of control with millions of questions .
How do they get through the day ?
How do they read ?
How do they make decisions between choice A and choice B ?
My friend described it as “ concept maps ” that she sees in her brain .
Another friend says that she literally sees the words in her head if she is trying to think about something .
I was taking ibuprofen at this point in the day because my brain was @ @ @ @ @ @ @ How have I made it 25 years in life without realizing that people don ’ t think like me ?
I posted a poll on Instagram to get a more accurate assessment of the situation .
Currently , 91 people have responded that they have an internal monologue and 18 people reported that they do not have this .
I began asking those people questions about the things that they experience and it is quite different from the majority .
I would tell them that I could look at myself in the mirror @ @ @ @ @ @ @ myself without opening my mouth and they responded as if I had schizophrenia .
One person even mentioned that when they do voice-overs in movies of people ’ s thoughts , they “ wished that it was real.
” And to their surprise , they did not know that the majority of people do in fact experience that echoey voice in their head that is portrayed in TV and film .
Another person said that if they tried to have a conversation with themselves in the mirror , they would have to speak @ @ @ @ @ @ @ physically do it inside of their mind .
I started posting screenshots of these conversations on my Instagram and my inbox started to flood with people responding to my “ investigation.
” Many people were reassuring me that I was not crazy about having an internal monologue , while others were as absolutely mind blown as I was .
People were telling me that I ruined their day and that they now do not understand anything about life .
Maybe you are all just a figment of my imagination , but regardless , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
How do they think ?
How does this affect their relationships , jobs , experiences , education ?
How has this not been mentioned to me before ?
All of these questions started flooding my mind .
Can those people without the internal monologue even formulate these questions in their mind ?
If they can , how does it happen if they don ’ t “ hear ” their voice ?
I mentioned earlier that I was spiraling out of control .
Well , as I write this and as I hear @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I am continuing to fall down the rabbit hole .
Whether people just have different definitions of their thoughts , or if people literally don ’ t have an internal monologue , there is one thing that we do know… you will definitely get a headache if you keep thinking about this .
Just trying to wrap my head around it is causing irreversible brain damage .
I suggest asking people around you what they experience .
If you are one of the few that do not have this internal monologue , please @ @ @ @ @ @ @ not understand life anymore .
Send help .
This comparison of what people see with ( and without ) astigmatism is a real eye-opener

Popular
It’s an easy assumption to make that most other people think the same way we do. Not what they think, but how they think.
Except it turns out that’s not the case. We know this, not only because someone said this on Twitter, but because of all the many and varied responses it prompted.
Fun fact: some people have an internal narrative and some don't As in, some people's thoughts are like sentences they "hear", and some people just have abstract non-verbal thoughts, and have to consciously verbalize them And most people aren't aware of the other type of person — Kyle 🌱 (@KylePlantEmoji) January 27, 2020
And it’s fair to say a lot of people couldn’t get their head round it.
I’ve always thought this was so interesting. I think in sentences and though I know not everybody does, I find it impossible to imagine how non-verbal thought works. — Beverly Tjerngren (@beverlyrevelry) January 27, 2020
I genuinely have full conversations with myself in my head. I’d get so bored if I didn’t have an internal monologue. — Cum Goblin (@ProstateWizard) January 27, 2020
SOME PEOPLE DONT HAVE A VOICE IN THEIR HEAD?????( — el✨ stream manic (@starryxdjh) January 27, 2020
my thoughts are def the abstract ones. if they contain words, it’s more or less just fragments & not complete sentences until they’re coming out. i think it’s why i stumble over my words so often, stutter, always 5 levels ahead of whatever I’m actually saying, rambling, etc — human capote (@shelbzazaaz) January 27, 2020
Same. For me it’s easier to write than speak. And i often don’t really know what I’m thinking until i write it. — Laurie Feinswog (@ljfxiki) January 27, 2020
A friend of mine has no mental images at all. It’s called antaphantasia and for years he thought when people said, “picture in your mind…” that it was just a metaphor. We spent hours comparing memory, dreams, and other brain-related experiences. — Anti-War Audrey (@HedwigGraymalk) January 27, 2020
Wait so some people don’t have to suffer through the voice in their head going on a constant monologue?? Is that what it means to achieve inner peace?? — (@howd9rk) January 27, 2020
A chap called Ryan Langdon saw the tweet and decided to investigate further. Not only that, he shared his findings on his blog and they went viral because it wasn’t only his mind that was blown.
My day was completely ruined yesterday when I stumbled upon a fun fact that absolutely obliterated my mind. I saw this tweet yesterday that said that not everyone has an internal monologue in their head. All my life, I could hear my voice in my head and speak in full sentences as if I was talking out loud. I thought everyone experienced this, so I did not believe that it could be true at that time. Literally the first person I asked was a classmate of mine who said that she can not “hear” her voice in her mind. I asked her if she could have a conversation with herself in her head and she looked at me funny like I was the weird one in this situation. So I began to become more intrigued. Most people I asked said that they have this internal monologue that is running rampant throughout the day. However, every once in a while, someone would say that they don’t experience this.
My life began to slowly spiral out of control with millions of questions. How do they get through the day? How do they read? How do they make decisions between choice A and choice B? My friend described it as “concept maps” that she sees in her brain. Another friend says that she literally sees the words in her head if she is trying to think about something. I was taking ibuprofen at this point in the day because my brain was literally unable to comprehend this revelation. How have I made it 25 years in life without realizing that people don’t think like me?
I posted a poll on Instagram to get a more accurate assessment of the situation. Currently, 91 people have responded that they have an internal monologue and 18 people reported that they do not have this. I began asking those people questions about the things that they experience and it is quite different from the majority. I would tell them that I could look at myself in the mirror and have a full-blown telepathic conversation with myself without opening my mouth and they responded as if I had schizophrenia. One person even mentioned that when they do voice-overs in movies of people’s thoughts, they “wished that it was real.”
And to their surprise, they did not know that the majority of people do in fact experience that echoey voice in their head that is portrayed in TV and film. Another person said that if they tried to have a conversation with themselves in the mirror, they would have to speak out loud because they can’t physically do it inside of their mind.
I started posting screenshots of these conversations on my Instagram and my inbox started to flood with people responding to my “investigation.” Many people were reassuring me that I was not crazy about having an internal monologue, while others were as absolutely mind blown as I was. People were telling me that I ruined their day and that they now do not understand anything about life. Maybe you are all just a figment of my imagination, but regardless, yesterday made reality seem even more skewed. How do they think? How does this affect their relationships, jobs, experiences, education? How has this not been mentioned to me before? All of these questions started flooding my mind. Can those people without the internal monologue even formulate these questions in their mind? If they can, how does it happen if they don’t “hear” their voice? I mentioned earlier that I was spiraling out of control. Well, as I write this and as I hear my own voice in my head, I am continuing to fall down the rabbit hole.
Whether people just have different definitions of their thoughts, or if people literally don’t have an internal monologue, there is one thing that we do know… you will definitely get a headache if you keep thinking about this. Just trying to wrap my head around it is causing irreversible brain damage. I suggest asking people around you what they experience. If you are one of the few that do not have this internal monologue, please enlighten me, because I still do not understand life anymore. Send help.
We’re with this person.
all of a sudden i forgot how to think — ellie (@ElenaFoxe) January 27, 2020
READ MORE
This comparison of what people see with (and without) astigmatism is a real eye-opener
Source Twitter @KylePlantEmoji ryanandrewlangdon.wordpress.com Imgur H/T BoredPanda


thepoke--2020-02-04--This cursed image is really messing with people’s heads

We can totally see where Lesley – @ dancingfool75 – was coming from with her confusion over this picture .
@ @ @ @ @ the better part of a minute , wondering why anyone would allow a deformed goat @ @ @ @ @ rotating it and seeing this … It ’ s just a cute dog .
We @ @ @ @ @ only ones whose minds were doing flips .
Tweeter @ just_mark_now perfectly voiced the stages @ @ @ @ @ .

Pics
We can totally see where Lesley – @dancingfool75 – was coming from with her confusion over this picture.
This really messed with my head for a few minutes before I realised pic.twitter.com/HiFaDG6DCy — Lesley (@dancingfool75) February 3, 2020
We looked at it for the better part of a minute, wondering why anyone would allow a deformed goat on their bed, before rotating it and seeing this …
It’s just a cute dog. We clearly weren’t the only ones whose minds were doing flips.
Thats a head fuk. Took me a few mins to get it 😭 https://t.co/gxaU8kt3Eh — 🍀Angi🍀 (@angim77) February 4, 2020
Had to paste it into paintshop pro and rotate and it still took me a minute… https://t.co/AbiJ9Ug8FN — Dr Mike R. "Scott" Knowe-Eels (@CronFlakes) February 4, 2020
I can’t handle things like this in the morning, my brain doesn’t function right 😂😂😂😂 https://t.co/PCoWlN8axi — Ailsa Jane 🐝 (@AilsaJanePod) February 4, 2020
Tweeter @just_mark_now perfectly voiced the stages of looking at the image.
OMFG…I was like KILL IT, then…oh what a cutie 🐶 — I'm only here for the GIFs (@just_mark_now) February 3, 2020
Source @dancingfool75 Image @dancingfool75 Bruce Mars on Pexels


thepoke--2020-02-04--“Awful taste but great execution” – 17 brilliantly tacky examples

The subreddit entitled Awful Taste But Great Execution very much does what it says on the tin , collecting a @ @ @ @ @ work perfectly well – but look tacky , hideous or both .
We ’ ve @ @ @ @ @ – by which we mean worst – examples .
2 .
That ’ s a @ @ @ @ @ to for a drivable sofa 5 .
For when you really need to go 7 @ @ @ @ @ not worth anywhere near what people think .
And so ’ s the gun 8 @ @ @ @ @ sugar patches to give this cake up 9 .
Just don ’ t do it

Pics
The subreddit entitled Awful Taste But Great Execution very much does what it says on the tin, collecting a broad spectrum of things that work perfectly well – but look tacky, hideous or both.
We’ve gathered some of the best – by which we mean worst – examples.
1. There’s always room for a tasteless tattoo
Via
2. That’s a lot of effort to go to for a drivable sofa
Via
3. Yee – and indeed – haw!
Via
4. Somebody call the RSPCA
Via
5. For when you really need to go
Via
6. For Mexican music oly
Via
7. Dangerous, tacky and not worth anywhere near what people think. And so’s the gun
Via
8. You have to wear sugar patches to give this cake up
Via
9. Just don’t do it
Via


thepoke--2020-02-04--This choosing beggar’s very specific requests got her thoroughly dragged

A first home is always a big outlay because there ’ s so much to buy , and there ’ s nothing wrong with asking friends and family if they have unwanted items to donate to make things a little easier .
One women got herself shamed on the r/ChoosingBeggars subreddit after she posted a very specific list of what donations she would find acceptable .
So much for beggars can ’ t be choosers .
Someone called her out directly .
But it didn ’ t stop there , because Redditors had a few things to add – and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , since you ’ re doing my job and I have all this free time could you send me on a vacation ?
Dubai , Spain , southern France only .
Wouldn ’ t want you to send me somewhere I wouldn ’ t even enjoy .
Tactical_Terror Hey guys , since you sent me to Dubai , is it ok if you do me a teeny tiny favor and literally fucking buy me the goddamned Burj Khalifa for me ?
It ’ s a tiny favor not much .
Thanks !
SuperEliteFucker @ @ @ @ @ @ @ some black and red furniture for my Burj Khalifa ?
There ’ s so much space in here I just need some things to make it complete .
Could you also donate a helicopter pad , and a helicopter , and a helicopter pilot , and helicopter fuel so I can go see the sites ?
Thanks guys .
Now , that ’ s how you drag a choosing beggar .
This choosing beggar was furious that a contractor couldn ’ t work with a broken arm

Weird World
A first home is always a big outlay because there’s so much to buy, and there’s nothing wrong with asking friends and family if they have unwanted items to donate to make things a little easier.
One women got herself shamed on the r/ChoosingBeggars subreddit after she posted a very specific list of what donations she would find acceptable.
So much for beggars can’t be choosers. Someone called her out directly.
But it didn’t stop there, because Redditors had a few things to add – and they escalated hilariously.
SaintGamer
Hey guys can you buy me literally Everything for my house? Thanks!
PompousClock[S]
I mean, they have to pay rent. How much more do you expect?!
SaintGamer
Their next update: Hey can I get a donation for my rent guys
johan_fiore
Hey guys, can you guys do my new job pls?
SuperEliteFucker
Hey guys, since you’re doing my job and I have all this free time could you send me on a vacation? Dubai, Spain, southern France only. Wouldn’t want you to send me somewhere I wouldn’t even enjoy.
Tactical_Terror
Hey guys, since you sent me to Dubai, is it ok if you do me a teeny tiny favor and literally fucking buy me the goddamned Burj Khalifa for me? It’s a tiny favor not much. Thanks!
SuperEliteFucker
Hey guys, could you donate me some black and red furniture for my Burj Khalifa? There’s so much space in here I just need some things to make it complete. Could you also donate a helicopter pad, and a helicopter, and a helicopter pilot, and helicopter fuel so I can go see the sites? Thanks guys.
killer_449 27 points 2 days ago
Hey guys, could you do me a small favor and pilot my helicopter for me? Thanks guys.
A Redditor named bud_hasselhoff had the ultimate update:
Moving out of my parents house! Would appreciate some donations 🙂 ISO: Condo (2br w/ terrace) White Mercedes convertible (2019 or newer) TIA!
Now, that’s how you drag a choosing beggar.
READ MORE
This choosing beggar was furious that a contractor couldn’t work with a broken arm
Source Reddit Image Reddit, @glenncarstenpeters on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-02-04--Our 19 favourite comically brutal Brexit memes

Some people are slowly realising that Brexit isn ’ t done and won ’ t be for some time .
@ @ @ @ @ though those Got Brexit Done tea towels weren ’ t entirely true .
Despite that @ @ @ @ @ out , and the huge event has given rise to a lot of memes , @ @ @ @ @ Bored Panda have gathered some of them .
These are our favourites .

Pics
Some people are slowly realising that Brexit isn’t done and won’t be for some time. It’s almost as though those Got Brexit Done tea towels weren’t entirely true.
Despite that, the UK is technically out, and the huge event has given rise to a lot of memes, which the gang over at Bored Panda have gathered some of them.
These are our favourites.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.


thepoke--2020-02-04--Trump claimed Ivanka had created 15 million jobs – the only 5 stunning takedowns you need

It ’ s no secret that Donald Trump has a special place in his heart for Ivanka , the daughter @ @ @ @ @ be dating if he weren ’ t her father .
In a recent speech at @ @ @ @ @ tried to get everybody else to think a bit more of her by making an @ @ @ @ @ .
Ivanka ’ s fashion business has been at the centre of a number of @ @ @ @ @ designs from another designer , outsourcing work to China after claiming it was an all-American @ @ @ @ @ of using underage labour abroad .
If she created any jobs , the major part @ @ @ @ @ have been in the US .
While the MAGA faithful fell for it hook , @ @ @ @ @ people weren ’ t so easily taken in .
Oh , God !
He ’ @ @ @ @ @ hereditary , isn ’ t he !
Ivanka Trump quoted Thomas Jefferson to defend her @ @ @ @ @ glorious self-own

Twitter
It’s no secret that Donald Trump has a special place in his heart for Ivanka, the daughter he claimed he’d be dating if he weren’t her father.
via Gfycat
In a recent speech at the White House, he tried to get everybody else to think a bit more of her by making an outrageous claim on her behalf.
Here’s Trump claiming today that Ivanka has “created over 15 million jobs” — or more than twice the number of total jobs created in the entire country since he took office pic.twitter.com/kApQ7dIWcS — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) February 1, 2020
Political journalist, Jackie Calmes elaborated.
There have been a total of 6.7 million jobs created since Trump took office. Where did Ivanka create her 15 million? P.S. In the same period — Obama's last 35 months — nearly 8 million jobs were created, per Bureau of Labor Statistics. That's 1.3m more. https://t.co/rbmg6yiBpl — Jackie Calmes (@jackiekcalmes) February 1, 2020
Ivanka’s fashion business has been at the centre of a number of controversies, including having stolen designs from another designer, outsourcing work to China after claiming it was an all-American operation, and even accusations of using underage labour abroad.
If she created any jobs, the major part of them won’t have been in the US.
While the MAGA faithful fell for it hook, line and sinker, these people weren’t so easily taken in.
1.
Congrats to all those children https://t.co/nziVEsL4NW — Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) February 2, 2020
2.
Wow that’s a lot of Chinese people https://t.co/8qL3yfRuUu — Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) February 1, 2020
3.
Who knew there were that many plastic surgeons in America? https://t.co/Cz7BSbazTg — stuart stevens (@stuartpstevens) February 1, 2020
4.
This is nonsense, they’re aren’t 15 million people doing hair and make up in the Washington DC area, are there? https://t.co/KOiTbH5h42 — Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) February 1, 2020
5.
Dr. Jack Brown had a terrifying suggestion.
Is this an example of Donald Trump propaganda prepping for an announcement that Pence is out of the 2020 race – and Ivanka will be his new running mate? https://t.co/nXfrCTSja3 — Dr. Jack Brown (@DrGJackBrown) February 2, 2020
Oh, God! He’s going to make it hereditary, isn’t he!
READ MORE
Ivanka Trump quoted Thomas Jefferson to defend her dad and it was a glorious self-own
Source Indy100 Image Aaron Rupar, CBS


thepoke--2020-03-30--Nigel Farage is worried about ventilators coming from China – only 5 replies you need

The UK is one of a number of countries waiting to get lifesaving equipment including ventilators in the battle to @ @ @ @ @ Nigel Farage , former UKIP leader and whatever he does these days , went on @ @ @ @ @ suggest whether ventilators made in China was a good idea .
Yes , Nigel , @ @ @ @ @ the only 5 replies you need .
This televangelist ‘ destroying ’ coronavirus with a @ @ @ @ @ very funny and unutterably grim

Twitter
The UK is one of a number of countries waiting to get lifesaving equipment including ventilators from China in the battle to contain the coronavirus outbreak.
Nigel Farage, former UKIP leader and whatever he does these days, went on Twitter – naturally – to ask whether ventilators made in China was, you know, a wise move.
I hear that the UK Government are buying ventilators from China, yes China. Can this be true? — Nigel Farage (@Nigel_Farage) March 30, 2020
Yes, Nigel, China! And these are the only 5 replies you need.
Apparently that's where ventilators are made. Such a shame. I think we should wait a couple of years and get some nice blue British ones and in the mean time wrap our faces in Union Jacks. https://t.co/ytokWhsi7b — Matt Haig (@matthaig1) March 30, 2020
Perhaps you could organise a list of people who aren’t prepared to be treated with a Chinese made ventilator? I assume your name will be at the top. — Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) March 30, 2020
Why not Nigel?? It's called international trade. It's also called getting essential supplies from somewhere that actually has them now not in May — Phil Collins (@PhilC273) March 30, 2020
If I get ill and they try to stick me on a CHINESE VENTILATOR – NO WAY! I didn't fight in two World Wars to be kept alive by FOREIGN TECHNOLOGY!! Only PROPER BRITISH VENTILATORS made by Foggy from Last of the Summer Wine from a bicycle pump and Nora Batty's bra! — Peter Baynham (@PeterBaynham) March 30, 2020
wait till you hear where your iphone is from — end of daves ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) March 30, 2020
To conclude …
I hear that some of our most notorious racists are struggling to find new targets for their sick-making xenophobia? Can this be true? https://t.co/sO17XTkEVZ — Sathnam Sanghera (@Sathnam) March 30, 2020
READ MORE
This televangelist ‘destroying’ coronavirus with a Christian magic spell is both very funny and unutterably grim
Source @Nigel_Farage


thepoke--2020-03-30--This Joe Wilkinson joke took an unexpected turn and it was all rather lovely

Here ’ s the great Joe Wilkinson who if you don ’ t already follow on Twitter then you really @ @ @ @ @ was on Twitter today wondering this .
And it prompted an entirely unexpected and rather @ @ @ @ @ not just there for the rubbish things in life .
Simply 26 times Joe Wilkinson @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
Here’s the great Joe Wilkinson who if you don’t already follow on Twitter then you really should.
Anyway, Joe was on Twitter today wondering this.
Bell ringing is a really difficult thing to practice secretively, isn’t it? — Joe Wilkinson (@gillinghamjoe) March 30, 2020
And it prompted an entirely unexpected and rather lovely response.
For the purposes of your joke – Yes!
But in reality, no. We can tie the clapper off so that no sound is heard when we pull the rope. I know you're sometimes in Mid-Sussex. If you're about on a Thursday evening and fancy a go, pop over to Wivelsfield and I'll 'show you the ropes' — Simon Everest (@A23Commuter) March 30, 2020
And Joe didn’t hesitate.
yes please — Joe Wilkinson (@gillinghamjoe) March 30, 2020
No problem! You will need to wait for this virus to clear up as we are suspended from ringing at the moment, but in the future, we can certainly make this happen. — Simon Everest (@A23Commuter) March 30, 2020
Twitter – not just there for the rubbish things in life.
this took an unexpected turn https://t.co/YlkW1CWrdC — Joe Wilkinson (@gillinghamjoe) March 30, 2020
Do they all shout ‘bong!” when they practice with tied-off clappers? Because I would pay premium for that show. — Lamb Doe Cow Prissy Hen (@nobby1138) March 30, 2020
There's a series in this. "Wilkinson's walkabouts". Filming dates tbc obvs. — Mike Holden (@MikeHolden42) March 30, 2020
READ MORE
Simply 26 times Joe Wilkinson was very funny on Twitter
Source @gillinghamjoe


thepoke--2020-03-30--This televangelist ‘destroying’ coronavirus with a Christian magic spell is both very funny and unut

This televangelist ‘destroying’ coronavirus with a Christian magic spell is both very funny and unutterably grim

Here ’ s televangelist Kenneth Copeland doing his bit to turn the tide of coronavirus by singlehandedly destroying it with @ @ @ @ @ whatever the hell ’ s in his mind .
It ’ s a very funny @ @ @ @ @ you think how many Americans are buying into this , presumably .
This forensic takedown @ @ @ @ @ non ) response to coronavirus is devastating

Videos
Here’s televangelist Kenneth Copeland doing his bit to turn the tide of coronavirus by singlehandedly destroying it with the power of God and whatever the hell’s in his mind.
It’s a very funny watch but unutterably grim when you think how many Americans are buying into this, presumably.
Here is scamvangelist Kenneth Copeland DESTROYING the virus through what I can only describe as a Christian magic spell. “In the name of Jesus… I execute judgment on you, COVID-19!… It! Is! Finished! It! Is! Over!” pic.twitter.com/EyRosWxcHp — Hemant Mehta (@hemantmehta) March 29, 2020
Nailed it, Ken!
This is so insane. I can’t believe people fall for this insane scam — Olga Lautman (@olgaNYC1211) March 29, 2020
I would give anything to see his reaction to a parishioner coming up to him and hugging him exclaiming, “You’ve set me free! I had the virus and you’ve cured me! Thank you!” Anything. — DJ Brand-X (@PossibleFlexib1) March 29, 2020
Oh, in that case he should fly over to Italy, walk into all of the hospitals without a mask on and use his magic there too. Let’s see how that works out? — WTF Seriously (@stopbeingaderp) March 29, 2020
What not to do during #Covid_19, in one photo. pic.twitter.com/u5dLVQikwe — Mister X (@MusicSnobb) March 30, 2020
Kenneth Copeland is worth $760 million. https://t.co/Cn0KLSVju2 — The People's Tim Dawson (@Tim_R_Dawson) March 30, 2020
This is basically me after three pints pic.twitter.com/bSXH80Mu0E — Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) March 30, 2020
In short, this.
This is… incredibly embarrassing. https://t.co/SLTfVmEiNY — Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) March 30, 2020
READ MORE
This forensic takedown of Trump’s (non) response to coronavirus is devastating
Source @hemantmehta


thepoke--2020-03-30--This family made their own nightclub to beat the stay at home blues and it’s a very funny watch

If you ’ re really missing going clubbing in these stay at home days , then why not do what @ @ @ @ @ a nightclub in your own home ?
Better still , just watch what these guys @ @ @ @ @ brilliantly done and very funny .
Ah , brings back the memories .
From about @ @ @ @ @ sports broadcaster commentated on his dogs rushing to eat their dinner and it ’ s @

Videos
If you’re really missing going clubbing in these stay at home days, then why not do what this family did and make a nightclub in your own home?
Better still, just watch what these guys did because it’s brilliantly done and very funny.
omg this TikTok video pic.twitter.com/RgSFAzl6e5 — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) March 29, 2020
Ah, brings back the memories. From about 20 years ago.
READ MORE
This sports broadcaster commentated on his dogs rushing to eat their dinner and it’s brilliant
Source Twitter @scottygb


thepoke--2020-03-30--Mr Motivator started ‘riding a horse’ on daytime BBC and it suddenly got a bit post-watershed

Readers of a certain age will remember Mr Motivator back in the day keeping the nation fit on breakfast TV @ @ @ @ @ the box today to help keep everyone in shape as we stay indoors for the @ @ @ @ @ s fair to say it took a bit of an unexpected turn .
About the @ @ @ @ @ a horse ’ , as shared by @ scottygb on Twitter .
Oh my word @ @ @ @ @ get that on Joe Wicks .
Well , not the ones we ’ ve watched @ @ @ @ @ John ’ singing the theme to Only Fools And Horses

Videos
Readers of a certain age will remember Mr Motivator back in the day keeping the nation fit on breakfast TV.
He was back on the box today to help keep everyone in shape as we stay indoors for the foreseeable.
And it’s fair to say it took a bit of an unexpected turn. About the time he started ‘riding a horse’, as shared by @scottygb on Twitter.
Mr Motivator was just on BBC One and OH MY GOD pic.twitter.com/MtyOC61nmh — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) March 30, 2020
Oh my word. You don’t get that on Joe Wicks. Well, not the ones we’ve watched.
The King is back. Joe Wicks get out of the way. https://t.co/wQyL5fd5yS — Carl Anka (@Ankaman616) March 30, 2020
"WHIP IT. LET THE HORSE GO." *Angela Rippon bops along on Skype* pic.twitter.com/IvVd3f2Eni — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) March 30, 2020
Because we really do need this right now … https://t.co/bIDZ5LbfoQ — Prof Ben Garrod (@Ben_garrod) March 30, 2020
Follow @scottygb for all things TV.
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WATCH: ‘Elton John’ singing the theme to Only Fools And Horses
Source @scottygb


thepoke--2020-03-30--This forensic takedown of Trump’s (non) response to coronavirus is devastating

You ’ ll probably be aware by now of Donald Trump ’ s catastrophic failure to take coronavirus more seriously @ @ @ @ @ pedalling that has since followed ) .
But nothing nails his utterly inadequate response – @ @ @ @ @ history – quite so well as this short video by The Recount and shared by @ @ @ @ @ Laughter ’ s not the best medicine , but it helps – 18 funny reactions @ @ @

Videos
You’ll probably be aware by now of Donald Trump’s catastrophic failure to take coronavirus more seriously (and the furious back pedalling that has since followed).
But nothing nails his utterly inadequate response – and subsequent attempts to rewrite history – quite so well as this short video by The Recount that was shared by Andrew Neil on Twitter.
President Trump and the coronavirus. A terrifying tale of how NOT to handle a pandemic in one short video. Watch and weep. pic.twitter.com/R8CKThCKKx — Andrew Neil (@afneil) March 30, 2020
Absolutely terrifying.
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Laughter’s not the best medicine, but it helps – 18 funny reactions to the coronavirus
Source The Recount H/T @afneil


thepoke--2020-03-30--Laughter’s not the best medicine, but it helps – 18 funny reactions to the coronavirus

Studies have shown that making jokes and laughing about difficult situations can help people get through them , as can @ @ @ @ @ things .
What you do in your own home is your business , but on @ @ @ @ @ decided to go with the laughing option .
Here are some more funny takes on @ @ @ @ @ in .

Twitter
Studies have shown that making jokes and laughing about difficult situations can help people get through them, as can swearing a lot and smashing things. What you do in your own home is your business, but on here, we’ve decided to go with the laughing option.
Here are some more funny takes on the bizarre times we live in.
1.
Singing “I saw your face in a crowded place” suddenly seems a little dated. — James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) March 27, 2020
2.
3.
Day 12. Ooh, wonder how many WhatsApp groups I'll have to mute today. Exciting. — kath 🙀🕷❄🇪🇺 (@KathyBurke) March 29, 2020
4.
march to end covid-19 💛 well done everyone amazing turnout pic.twitter.com/HTI5ZMBd76 — mia (@miaxmon) March 29, 2020
5.
Top 5 Tips for Working Remote:
1. Set boundaries
2. Schedule breaks
3. Carole killed her husband
4. And fed him to tigers
5. Consider your workspace — mark exotic (@TheCatWhisprer) March 28, 2020
6.
Day 1 of self isolation: Recorded video about me having #coronavirus. Don't think anyone could tell I was in my underpants. Dominic Cummings came in wearing a mask and gloves. Nothing to do with me, just his fashion choice of the day.#IsolationLife — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) March 27, 2020
7.
Shout out to all the comedians who thought it would be a sex scandal, rather than a pandemic, that killed their careers. — Ed Byrne (@MrEdByrne) March 28, 2020
8.
I wonder if gamers have even noticed there's a self quarantine going on? — Ignoble Savage (@drayzze) March 24, 2020
9.


thepoke--2020-03-30--10 revealing snapshots of life in quarantine with kids

Parents are having to spend far more time than usual with their beloved offspring , and as wonderful as children are , they can be a bit , well , full on .
Some parents have been using the internet as a substitute for adult company and are sharing the photographic evidence of life during quarantine .
Our friends at Bored Panda have pulled a lot of these together , and we ’ ve chosen our top ten .
1 .
One woman has set up a micro-economy 2 .
Could you work while being watched by Spider-Man ?
3 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s technical skills ( keeping them quiet for hours ) 4 .
You know when people talk about the magic of childhood ?
Well … 5 .
If not kept endlessly entertained , children will turn feral 6 .
It doesn ’ t take long for home-schooling to become a massive roller-skating party 7 .
Multitasking is the way forward 8 .
Never take your eyes off your most valuable possessions when there are kids about 9 .
Some parents may be driven to extreme measures to get anything done ( just @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fails , pass the home-schooling buck BONUS : Kids see everything – and they know !
The truth about life with kids – according to these 19 parents

Pics
Parents are having to spend far more time than usual with their beloved offspring, and as wonderful as children are, they can be a bit, well, full on.
Some parents have been using the internet as a substitute for adult company and are sharing the photographic evidence of life during wartime quarantine.
Our friends at Bored Panda have pulled a lot of these together, and we’ve chosen our top ten.
1. One woman has set up a micro-economy
Via
2. Could you work while being watched by Spider-Man?
Via
3. This dad is stimulating his children’s technical skills (keeping them quiet for hours)
Via
4. You know when people talk about the magic of childhood? Well …
Via
5. If not kept endlessly entertained, children will turn feral
Via
Via
6. It doesn’t take long for home-schooling to become a massive roller-skating party
Via
7. Multitasking is the way forward
Via
Via
8. Never take your eyes off your most valuable possessions when there are kids about
Via
9. Some parents may be driven to extreme measures to get anything done (just kidding)
Via
10. If all else fails, pass the home-schooling buck
Via
BONUS: Kids see everything – and they know!
Via
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The truth about life with kids – according to these 19 parents
Source Bored Panda Image Bored Panda


thepoke--2020-03-30--People have been recreating works of art with things in their homes – our 15 favourites

Although there ’ s a wealth of art available to view online , it ’ s just not the same @ @ @ @ @ gallery and seeing the real thing .
Plus , there ’ s no ruinously expensive @ @ @ @ @ in the gallery cafe , which is an essential part of the whole experience .
@ @ @ @ @ Angeles has obviously realised that people might be missing the influence of artworks in their @ @ @ @ @ with this idea .
They shared their own efforts , which were naturally very impressive @

Pics
Although there’s a wealth of art available to view online, it’s just not the same as heading to a local gallery and seeing the real thing. Plus, there’s no ruinously expensive cake to look forward to in the gallery cafe, which is an essential part of the whole experience.
The Getty Museum in Los Angeles has obviously realised that people might be missing the influence of artworks in their lives, and came up with this idea.
We challenge you to recreate a work of art with objects (and people) in your home. 🥇 Choose your favorite artwork
🥈 Find three things lying around your house
🥉 Recreate the artwork with those items And share with us. pic.twitter.com/9BNq35HY2V — Getty (@GettyMuseum) March 25, 2020
They shared their own efforts, which were naturally very impressive.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.


thepoke--2020-03-30--Simply 11 of the funniest jokes about hand washing

No matter how determined some people seem to have been to ignore the coronavirus advice , three key points have @ @ @ @ @ , don ’ t touch your face , and wash your hands .
People haven @ @ @ @ @ at the staying in part , a cursory glance at any live broadcast reveals a @ @ @ @ @ message seems to have got through .
These are our favourite tweets on that theme @ @ @ @ @ journalist and national treasure , had this very relatable observation on the effect of so @ @ @ @ @ perfect takedown of anyone who still doubts the worth of washing your hands

Twitter
No matter how determined some people seem to have been to ignore the coronavirus advice, three key points have stood out: stay in, don’t touch your face, and wash your hands.
People haven’t been so good at the staying in part, a cursory glance at any live broadcast reveals a face-touch-a-thon, but the handwashing message seems to have got through.
These are our favourite tweets on that theme.
1.
Wash your hands like you're Nigel Farage and they're covered in the consequences of Brexit. — Dmitry Grozoubinski (@DmitryOpines) March 10, 2020
2.
Omg I love my new snake skin gloves, oh wait that’s just my new hand skin washing them 17,000 times a day. — Jonathan Van Ness (@jvn) March 17, 2020
3.
Can't wait til this is all over and I never have to wash my hands again. — Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) March 26, 2020
4.
Make washing your hands more exciting by pretending they are two giant octopuses wrestling each other to the death (while you sing happy birthday to them). — Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) March 17, 2020
5.
Movies lied about how the fall of civilisation would happen. They promised zombies and car chases with trucks covered in spikes but really its just working from home and singing happy birthday to yourself as you wash your hands — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) March 12, 2020
6.
What would you think if you saw this just a month ago? I’d assume wanking epidemic pic.twitter.com/ykB6MC1wor — Summer Ray (@SummerRay) March 6, 2020
7.
To the people who have bought 27 bottles of soap leaving none on the shop shelves for others, you do realise that to stop getting coronavirus, you need other people to wash their hands too, you great thundering walloper. — GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) March 7, 2020
8.
Stay at home. Wash your hands. Ring the bell. Comb your hair. Giv’em a wave. SUPERMAN! — Phil Pagett (@Phil_Pagett) March 23, 2020
9.
The guy who invented hand sanitiser must be rubbing his hands together right now — Kate PT3 (@KateMMA3) March 5, 2020
10.
Rash on my hands from washing them too much. Don’t want to brag but in the current climate that’s basically a Victoria Cross — Ivo Graham (@IvoGraham) March 23, 2020
11.
Imagine a deadly disease you could kill with soap and water, but half the people are like “Meh, it’s more important for me and my kids to socialize.” — Jake Vig (@Jake_Vig) March 23, 2020
Louis Theroux, investigative journalist and national treasure, had this very relatable observation on the effect of so much handwashing.
My hands are so dry they feel like they belong to someone else. — Louis Theroux (@louistheroux) March 24, 2020
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Just a perfect takedown of anyone who still doubts the worth of washing your hands
Image YouTube screengrab