thepoke--2020-03-03--This guy’s schoolboy error nearly killed everyone in a sauna and it’s funny and scary in equal measu

This guy’s schoolboy error nearly killed everyone in a sauna and it’s funny and scary in equal measure

‘ 1st time is a warning .
2nd time and we charge you with war crimes.
’ sanrishi07 ‘ There @ @ @ @ @ in that sauna about how you shouldn ’ t do that soon.
’ ScoobyMaroon ‘ @ @ @ @ @ his is a common problem , OP is just a very dumb person.
’ WH02J03 @ @ @ @ @ you out of pissing on the rocks.
’ KyloRenCadetStimpy ‘ That might have been preferable @ @ @ @ @ ‘ The origin story for one of those signs you read and think “ What @ @ @ @ @ to this ?
!
” ’ LuxLuring ‘ ” Chemical weapons are not allowed in @ @ @ @ @

‘1st time is a warning. 2nd time and we charge you with war crimes.’ sanrishi07
‘There will definitely be a sign in that sauna about how you shouldn’t do that soon.’ ScoobyMaroon
‘I don’t think his is a common problem, OP is just a very dumb person.’ WH02J03
‘At least they talked you out of pissing on the rocks.’ KyloRenCadetStimpy
‘That might have been preferable knowing the outcome.’ machineintheghost337
‘The origin story for one of those signs you read and think “What on Earth happened that led to this?!”’ LuxLuring
‘”Chemical weapons are not allowed in the sauna.”‘ urbworld_dweller


thepoke--2020-03-03--‘My astrophysicist daughter gave me a birthday card’

‘ My astrophysicist daughter gave me a birthday card , ’ writes tachoknight and it went wildly viral because it @ @ @ @ @ good .
Out of this world .
‘ If planets were as close as the @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s frankly terrifying

Pics
‘My astrophysicist daughter gave me a birthday card,’ writes tachoknight over on Reddit and it went wildly viral because it’s really, really good.
Out of this world.
READ MORE
‘If planets were as close as the moon’ went viral because it’s frankly terrifying
Source Reddit u/tachoknight


thepoke--2020-03-03--This woman got mad because the free phone she was offered wasn’t an iPhone and her fury is something

This woman got mad because the free phone she was offered wasn’t an iPhone and her fury is something else

It begins with a rather lovely exchange in which a Good Samaritan responds to someone ’ s urgent request for @ @ @ @ @ ends rather differently , however , because they phone they ’ re happy to give @ @ @ @ @ one she wants .
It ’ s an Android !
‘ Woman freaks out over @ @ @ @ @ phone , ’ writes iNapForALiving over on Reddit , and it ’ s funny and @ @ @ @ @ .
There ’ s something about that final ‘ FUCK OFF ’ that is the @ @ @ @ @ This guy got mad because a £5 bag was ‘ collection only ’ and his @ @ @ @ @

Popular
It begins with a rather lovely exchange in which a Good Samaritan responds to someone’s urgent request for a free phone.
It ends rather differently, however, because they phone they’re happy to give her isn’t the one she wants. It’s an Android!
‘Woman freaks out over being offered a FREE android phone,’ writes iNapForALiving over on Reddit, and it’s funny and infuriating in mostly equal measure.
There’s something about that final ‘FUCK OFF’ that is the cherry on the cake.
READ MORE
This guy got mad because a £5 bag was ‘collection only’ and his fury is something to behold
Source Reddit u/iNapForALiving


thepoke--2020-03-03--Tinder profile of the week

Tinder profile of the week

No contest .
‘ I never super liked someone so fast , ’ said ManiacMacaque over on Reddit .
‘ @ @ @ @ @ can I take you out ?
’ sunburntTaco 11 of the funniest ( and occasionally @ @ @ @ @ of the year

Pics
No contest. ‘I never super liked someone so fast,’ said ManiacMacaque over on Reddit.
And the perfect response.
‘You look like trash, can I take you out?’ sunburntTaco ‘Fantastic.’ AkashGk
READ MORE
11 of the funniest (and occasionally most frightening) Tinder profiles of the year
Source Reddit u/ManiacMacaque


thepoke--2020-03-03--Boris Johnson said he’s been shaking everyone’s hand despite coronavirus – only 9 responses you need

Never let it be said that Boris Johnson doesn ’ t lead from the front .
The front of the @ @ @ @ @ be checked if they ’ ve got coronavirus , that is , after he urged @ @ @ @ @ shaking hands like there ’ s no tomorrow .
And these are the only responses @ @ @ @ @ Oh , and this .

Twitter
Never let it be said that Boris Johnson doesn’t lead from the front.
The front of the queue of people waiting to be checked if they’ve got coronavirus, that is, after he urged the nation to keep on shaking hands like there’s no tomorrow.
'I was at a hospital where there were a few #coronavirus patients and I shook hands with everybody' says Boris Johnson. Read the Government's #COVID19 plan: https://t.co/pEzE4JWf5P pic.twitter.com/mucbaPSSbP — Sky News (@SkyNews) March 3, 2020
And these are the only responses you need to that.
1.
Congratulations to Boris on contracting Coronavirus I guess? https://t.co/M7h2KgDF7y — Nicola Coughlan (@nicolacoughlan) March 3, 2020
2.
I hope the coranavirus patients washed their hands afterwards. — Geoff Wilton (@geoffwilton2) March 3, 2020
3.
“If you’ve been affected by Boris Johnson or just want to wash your hands, please call this number.” https://t.co/VXidHlU7O3 — David Quantick (@quantick) March 3, 2020
4.
According to every public health, pandemic and virology expert that is precisely the thing you should avoid. — TheBossRoss 🇪🇺 🧶 ❄ (@BettinaSRoss1) March 3, 2020
5.
a man who obviously doesn't believe in precautions — Chris Borrill (@chrisv987) March 3, 2020
6.
The expert’s face at the end, while shaking his head in disbelief, says it all. Johnson going for his “Princess Di hugs an HIV patient” moment and misses the point entirely. Would you trust a man like this to run a bath, far the less a country? — Heather (@HeathertheHeron) March 3, 2020
7.
"Some of them got Scrofula as a result though. Turns out I'm a sort of anti-King" https://t.co/z50abZ9Gn6 — John Bull (@garius) March 3, 2020
8.
Probably not the smartest idea when your partner is pregnant but you know what Boris, you do you. https://t.co/orxc8TWO6l — Carl Kinsella (@TVsCarlKinsella) March 3, 2020
9.
To conclude, this.
Boris Johnson is now bragging about the fact that he has shaken hands with coronavirus patients, and would do so again. This, surely, did not happen? — Tom Peck (@tompeck) March 3, 2020
He's getting them confused with poor people. He just vaguely remembers having to be around people who didn't matter to him. — Oonagh (@Okeating) March 3, 2020
Oh, and this.


thepoke--2020-03-04--Allison Pearson’s been trolling young people over coronavirus – only 5 responses you need

Allison Pearson ’ s been taking young people to task over their attitude to coronavirus in the Daily Telegraph , @ @ @ @ @ me , me ’ attitude might not sit well with the requirement to self-isolate and @ @ @ @ @ really are the only 5 responses you need .
Allison Pearson ’ s column about @ @ @ @ @ results might be her most on-brand column yet

Twitter
Allison Pearson’s been taking young people to task over their attitude to coronavirus in the Daily Telegraph, suggesting their ‘me, me, me’ attitude might not sit well with the requirement to self-isolate and the like.
Can the “Me” generation, who have never been denied anything in their privileged lives, be relied upon to self-isolate or will they start whingeing how “stressy” it all is when the authorities try to curtail their freedom to even a minor degree? https://t.co/CupZq0iUVU — The Telegraph (@Telegraph) March 3, 2020
Unfortunately time – and the Telegraph paywall – precludes detailed further analysis. In the meantime, these really are the only 5 responses you need.
1.
Oh you mean the generation that we've saddled with student debt and asked them to pay it off with zero hours contracts, and the ones that we're destroying the earth for? Those young people? You odious twat. https://t.co/OrwMzrCiED — Caroline Hirons (@CarolineHirons) March 4, 2020
2.
The author of this piece demanded her son's A-Levels be re-marked, then when the grade was not changed, attacked the exam board in a national newspaper. https://t.co/l9twtiLJgK — Tom Peck (@tompeck) March 4, 2020
3.
The stupid assumption that all young people have had privileged lives is where the relevance of this nonsense starts and ends. https://t.co/nI4SSoOUwy — Otto English (@Otto_English) March 4, 2020
4.
it never ceases to amaze me what an astonishing level of contempt some boomers have for young people, even when it comes to preparing for the possibility of a fucking pandemic https://t.co/ik9oBaKQcT — Elizabeth May (@_ElizabethMay) March 4, 2020
5.
One day newspapers will reflect on the self-defeating nature of bashing a group of people that they need to become their readers. But today is never that day. https://t.co/JO9AzABVBO — Stig Abell (@StigAbell) March 4, 2020
To conclude, this.
Does Allison Pearson not get bored of being tedious? — Damon Evans (@damocrat) March 4, 2020
READ MORE
Allison Pearson’s column about her son’s A-Level results might be her most on-brand column yet
Source Twitter @Telegraph


thepoke--2020-03-04--The NSFW commentary on this epic police car chase is 52 seconds very well spent

Probably not a crowded field we know , but this is the funniest police car chase you ’ ll see @ @ @ @ @ @ BobMenery who you can follow on Twitter here .

Videos
Probably not a crowded field we know, but this is the funniest police car chase you’ll see this week.
Sound up!
Brilliant by @BobMenery who you can follow on Twitter here.
This happened here in Philly. Some half naked guy stole the ambulance treating his wife after a domestic dispute. He was shot 3 times but kept on going. A real asset to society. — John DANDREA (@JohnDANDREA15) March 3, 2020
pretty funny, but the audio is fake 'satire' added afterwards — Alfred Flyer (@AlfredFlyer) March 3, 2020
No shit.. — Jimmy ✊🏾✊🏾 (@Jwheels_74) March 3, 2020
READ MORE
Derbyshire police shared a high speed bicycle chase and it’s gripping stuff
Source @BobMenery H/T @JWheels_74


thepoke--2020-03-04--Matt Lucas shared this old TV news clip and it went viral because it’s so brutal (and brutally funny

Matt Lucas shared this old TV news clip and it went viral because it’s so brutal (and brutally funny)

This old TV news clip went wildly viral today after it was tweeted by Matt Lucas .
You have to @ @ @ @ @ ( don ’ t worry , it ’ s not very long , honest ) @ @ @ @ @ caught out live on camera is this week ’ s funniest thing Source Twitter @ @

Videos
This old TV news clip went wildly viral today after it was tweeted by Matt Lucas.
You have to watch it until the end (don’t worry, it’s not very long, honest). The unexpected escalation is brutal, awkward, and very, very funny.
Oof!
Just fantastic. The backstory to this is a whole movie. One of those amazingly self important ones about amazingly self important American journalists. https://t.co/4DFslzql4w — Robert Webb (@arobertwebb) March 4, 2020
What is really good is that years of obvious resentment bursts forth on live TV over the most banal news event of all time. Two news veterans having a public meltdown, on air, over the reporting of how long it takes to fix the lifts. — @BunnyCorcoran (@bunnycorcoran9) March 4, 2020
OMG this is amazing. Seriously watch to the end. If you’ve ever worked in a TV newsroom you absolutely must watch https://t.co/0TQfraw2pS — Louisa Compton (@louisa_compton) March 4, 2020
https://twitter.com/piersmorgan/status/1235138738025574400?s=20
To conclude …
READ MORE
This BBC News presenter caught out live on camera is this week’s funniest thing
Source Twitter @RealMattLucas


thepoke--2020-03-04--11 people for whom a coronavirus face mask wasn’t enough (or available)

As people around the world look to take precautions against coronavirus , there are already shortages of things like face @ @ @ @ @ so on .
These people either couldn ’ t get hold of a face mask @ @ @ @ @ to go the extra mile .
So they did this , beginning with a commuter @ @ @ @ @ , then London , and ending up a little bit further afield .
These two @ @ @ @ @ messing with coronavirus and people had questions , lots of questions

Pics
As people around the world look to take precautions against coronavirus, there are already shortages of things like face masks and hand gel and so on.
These people either couldn’t get hold of a face mask or decided that they wanted to go the extra mile.
So they did this, beginning with a commuter at Milton Keynes railway station, then London, and ending up a little bit further afield.
1.
(via mkfm.com)
2.
(via @timidphotos)
3.
(via @timidphotos)
4.
(via @mystoxuan)
5.
(via @anaisssssx)
6.
(via @mystoxuan)
7.
(via @mystoxuan)
8.
(via @mystoxuan)
9.
(via @mystoxuan)
10.
(via @mystoxuan)
11.
(via @mystoxuan)
READ MORE
These two rail travellers aren’t messing with coronavirus and people had questions, lots of questions


thepoke--2020-03-04--These two rail travellers aren’t messing with coronavirus and people had questions, lots of question

These two rail travellers aren’t messing with coronavirus and people had questions, lots of questions

As people do all they can to minimise the threat of coronavirus , preventative measures like face masks and hand @ @ @ @ @ .
So these people spotted on the train decided to improvise , as shared by @ @ @ @ @ Twitter .
But we ’ re not entirely sure it ’ s good for their @ @ @ @ @ it went viral ( surely defeating the object ? )
and here are just some @ @ @ @ @ to say about it .
You can follow @ JimMFelton ( he ’ s got @ @ @ @ @ , don ’ t you know ) on Twitter here .
Americans are avoiding Corona @ @ @ @ @ and it explains so much

Pics
As people do all they can to minimise the threat of coronavirus, preventative measures like face masks and hand gel are in short supply.
So these people spotted on the train decided to improvise, as shared by the great @JimMFelton on Twitter.
But we’re not entirely sure it’s 100% good for their health.
We have to hook these two up pic.twitter.com/SCVW797XGH — James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 3, 2020
Needless to say it went viral (surely defeating the object?) and here are just some of the things people had to say about it.
1.
He's obviously a carrier. — Michael Cawley (@cawleym1) March 3, 2020
2.
What are we hooking them to? — Steve Analyst (@EmporersNewC) March 3, 2020
3.
[squints] oxygen — James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 3, 2020
4.
Gonna tell my kids this was The Masked Singer. — Joe Lycett (@neilscully) March 3, 2020
5.
the scarf hooked through the box handle got me — Gareth Dennis (@GarethDennis) March 3, 2020
6.
If I saw that, I'd die laughing way before the coronavirus could get me. — Patrycja 🎾🇪🇺🌹 (@pasw_we) March 3, 2020
7.
Maybe it's to stop her licking a wound — Do and Die For The Uk🕷 filthy piece of toerag (@DoandDieForThe1) March 3, 2020
8.
Turn around
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your bag — James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 3, 2020
9.
he was a tesco bag, she said see you later man — 🦇 katie 🦇 (@supermathskid) March 3, 2020
10.
he wore a bag
she wore a box
can I make it any more obvious — James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 3, 2020
11.
"She came from Greece she had a plastic bucket
Scared of viruses she said 'oh fuckit', that's when I
Caught her eye…" — Barry Maz – Got A Ukulele🇪🇺🌹🌈 (@bazmaz_ukulele) March 3, 2020
12.
If people ask me, what is Britain like in a crisis, I would simply show them this picture. https://t.co/4q7JzuyvYq — Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) March 3, 2020
13.
"And what's it like when it's not in a crisis?"
[pointedly slides across the same picture] — James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 3, 2020
PS
They're actually already hooked up and completely unaware they aren't standing side by side. — Oonagh (@Okeating) March 3, 2020
[sniffs] a happy ending — James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 3, 2020
You can follow @JimMFelton (he’s also got a new book coming out) on Twitter here.
READ MORE
Americans are avoiding Corona beer because of the coronavirus and it explains so much
Source Twitter @JimMFelton


thepoke--2020-03-04--This poor chap’s attempt at a high five was a failure of epic proportions

We ’ ve all been there , but we might not all have been there for quite as long as @ @ @ @ @ high five kept hanging that was caught on camera and is so epic it ’ @ @ @ @ @ beauty ( are we overdoing it ?
We don ’ t think so ) .
@ @ @ @ @ moved on without losing any of his jubilence.
’ ImBob_S_N_Vagenes When you ask a woman @ @ @ @ @ you a wave and she does something else

Videos
We’ve all been there, but we might not all have been there for quite as long as this unfortunate chap.
A high five kept hanging that was caught on camera and is so epic it’s virtually a thing of beauty (are we overdoing it? Only a bit).
Oof!
‘I’m glad he moved on without losing any of his jubilence.’ ImBob_S_N_Vagenes ‘Oh he lost it. Deep inside.’ IndridCold_fuck_you
READ MORE
When you ask a woman in the crowd to give you a wave and she does something else
Source Reddit u/AlrRaMon


thepoke--2020-03-04--This shop’s warning sign about customers with guns really isn’t messing around

‘ If you are offended by this message you can assume that you fall in the third category ’

Shop sign of the week.
‘Attention idiots,’ writes freebirdls over on Reddit.
‘If you are offended by this message you can assume that you fall in the third category’
ATTENTION IDIOTS
There are only 3 reason to unholster your loaded firearm
– you are robbing us
– you are shooting the person robbing us
– you are a complete incompetent idiot
PLEASE DO NOT UNHOLSTER A LOADED WEAPON IN OUR STORE
If you do, the following will apply to each of the above
– you will be shot
– you will be thanked
– you will be treated like an idiot and asked to leave
IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY THIS MESSAGE YOU CAN ASSUME THAT YOU FALL IN THE THIRD CATEGORY


thepoke--2020-03-04--‘More than meets the eye’

‘More than meets the eye’

‘ More than meets the eye , ’ shared by wtflagnard over on Reddit .
Not everyone got it , @ @ @ @ @ English speaker here trying to get the joke in the comments but not finding it @ @ @ @ @ tonight man.
’ Gueko_26 ‘ More than meets the eye is an English saying .
@ @ @ @ @ better than it looks .
In the drawing the angle thing is a greater than @ @ @ @ @ > y , is read x is greater than y .
Although not really the @ @ @ @ @ you can also read it as x is more than y .
So when the @ @ @ @ @ eye , you get , “ More than meets the eye ” ‘ Khashim1

‘More than meets the eye,’ shared by wtflagnard over on Reddit.
Not everyone got it, though.
‘Non-native English speaker here trying to get the joke in the comments but not finding it I won’t sleep tonight man.’ Gueko_26
‘More than meets the eye is an English saying. It means that something is better than it looks.
In the drawing the angle thing is a greater than symbol. For examples x > y, is read x is greater than y. Although not really the mathematic jargon normally used, you can also read it as x is more than y.
So when the more than symbol meets the eye, you get, “More than meets the eye”‘ Khashim1


thepoke--2020-03-04--This is a very clever receipt service for those expensive purchases your partner might not entirely

This is a very clever receipt service for those expensive purchases your partner might not entirely appreciate

We ’ d never suggest you were anything less than 100 % honest in your relationship with your loved one .
Except , you know , sometimes you might spend more money on a hobby or a gadget or whatever that your partner might not entirely appreciate .
Like a musical instrument being a classic case in point .
And this shop offers a very clever receipt service which they ’ ve also managed to turn into a money spinner .
Everyone ’ s a winner right ?
Apart from the truth , obviously .
‘ Yes honey I paid @ @ @ @ @ @ @ writes Roach2791 who shared it on Reddit .
‘ There ’ s that old joke that a person ’ s worst nightmare is that their spouse sells their hobby stuff for the amount they claimed to have paid for it… ’ dougaderly ‘ I used to work at a model railway specialty store , and we got the occasional request for an old-fashioned receipt to wave at the wife .
( All we could do for them was hand-write some BS price + tax in a tear-off sales book . )
‘ We @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , once , and his wife asked our manager if he ’ d care to buy his collection .
Used stuff was always popular , so he went to look at it all , and offered her over two grand .
The poor widow almost had a heart attack .
The “ cheap toys ” he brought home were worth more on the used table than he ’ d ever let on when buying them.
’ carmium ‘ Could you imagine having an intimate relationship with another human being where you had to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you buy ?
’ AllenKCarlson A charity shop put Jeff Goldblum in all of its picture frames and we wish they ’ d all start doing it

Pics
We’d never suggest you were anything less than 100% honest in your relationship with your loved one. Except, you know, sometimes you might spend more money on a hobby or a gadget or whatever that your partner might not entirely appreciate.
Like a musical instrument being a classic case in point.
And this shop offers a very clever receipt service which they’ve also managed to turn into a money spinner.
Everyone’s a winner right? Apart from the truth, obviously.
‘Yes honey I paid $15 for this guitar,’ writes Roach2791 who shared it on Reddit.
‘There’s that old joke that a person’s worst nightmare is that their spouse sells their hobby stuff for the amount they claimed to have paid for it…’ dougaderly ‘I used to work at a model railway specialty store, and we got the occasional request for an old-fashioned receipt to wave at the wife. (All we could do for them was hand-write some BS price + tax in a tear-off sales book.) ‘We did have one older customer pass away, once, and his wife asked our manager if he’d care to buy his collection. Used stuff was always popular, so he went to look at it all, and offered her over two grand. The poor widow almost had a heart attack. The “cheap toys” he brought home were worth more on the used table than he’d ever let on when buying them.’ carmium ‘Could you imagine having an intimate relationship with another human being where you had to lie about the cost of the things you buy?’ AllenKCarlson
Er, yes?
READ MORE
A charity shop put Jeff Goldblum in all of its picture frames and we wish they’d all start doing it
Source Reddit u/Roach2791


thepoke--2020-03-04--‘A train ticket is cheaper than the dentist’

No matter how fabulously expensive train tickets get these days , it ’ s still cheaper than a visit to @ @ @ @ @ mostly .
Exhibit A : this video shared by most_boring_worm over on Reddit .
Just @ @ @ @ @ Vienetta on the train

Videos
No matter how fabulously expensive train tickets get these days, it’s still cheaper than a visit to the dentist. Well, mostly.
Exhibit A: this video shared by most_boring_worm over on Reddit.
READ MORE
Just a man eating a whole Vienetta on the train
Source Reddit u/most_boring_worm


thepoke--2020-03-04--The takedown of this woman’s awe for the Almighty is the ultimate burn and made even better by her r

The takedown of this woman’s awe for the Almighty is the ultimate burn and made even better by her response

This woman ’ s awe for the Almighty knows no bounds , especially when she found this amazing fact about the sun which she enthusiastically shared on Facebook .
Except it didn ’ t quite add up and the takedown was sheer perfection , partly because it was so polite and partly because it was so well-informed ( well , we think it is ) .
But mostly it was good because of her furious reaction which followed .
‘ Can ’ t believe people are this stupid , ’ said fuck-me-jerry-please who shared it on Reddit .
And just @ @ @ @ @ @ @ read , here ’ s what she had to say in her original post .
‘ FACT – if the Earth was 10ft closer to the sun we would all burn up and if it was 10ft further we would freeze to death .
God is amazing !
’ 1 ) Earth ’ s orbit is elliptical and the distance from the sun varies from around 147 million kilometres to 152 million kilometres on any given year .
2 ) Every star has a habitable zone that is affected by the size of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ sun ’ s habitable zone is about 0.95AU to 1.37AU .
An AU is the Earth ’ s average distance from the sun , 93 million miles , so Earth ’ s orbit could decrease by 4.5 million miles or increase by 34 million miles and still be in the habitable zone .
3 ) If your claim was true any moderately sized earthquake could take us out of the habitable zone .
Sorry.
’ And her less than impressed response .
The takedown of this person who defended the Bible in its @ @ @ @

Popular
This woman’s awe for the Almighty knows no bounds, especially when she found this amazing fact about the sun which she enthusiastically shared on Facebook.
‘FACT – if the Earth was 10ft closer to the sun we would all burn up and if it was 10ft further we would freeze to death. God is amazing!’
Except it didn’t quite add up and the takedown was sheer perfection, partly because it was so polite and well-informed but mostly because of the furious response which followed.
And just in case that’s tricky to read, here’s the takedown in full.
‘To anyone wondering, that’s not true. 1) Earth’s orbit is elliptical and the distance from the sun varies from around 147 million kilometres to 152 million kilometres on any given year. 2) Every star has a habitable zone that is affected by the size of the star and its intensity. The sun’s habitable zone is about 0.95AU to 1.37AU. An AU is the Earth’s average distance from the sun, 93 million miles, so Earth’s orbit could decrease by 4.5 million miles or increase by 34 million miles and still be in the habitable zone. 3) If your claim was true any moderately sized earthquake could take us out of the habitable zone. Sorry.’
And her less than impressed response.
‘Okay that’s cool and all but don’t ever comment on my status telling me that I am wrong everrrr again. I didn’t ask you did I? Answer: NO.’
Talk about a burn.
‘Can’t believe people are this stupid,’ said fuck-me-jerry-please who shared it on Reddit.
READ MORE
The takedown of this person who defended the Bible in its entirety was sheer perfection
Source Reddit yu/fuck-me-jerry-please


thepoke--2020-03-04--People have been ruining a musical by adding an extra word – 23 favourites

First people ruined bands ’ names by adding an extra letter , now they are spoiling musicals by bunging in @ @ @ @ @ started when Chris Atkins challenged people on Twitter and kicked it off with this .
@ @ @ @ @ with some very funny suggestions .
Here are our 23 favourites .

Twitter
First people ruined bands’ names by adding an extra letter, now they are spoiling musicals by bunging in an extra word.
It started when Chris Atkins challenged people on Twitter and kicked it off with this.
Ruin a musical by adding a word. I’ll start: Kiddie Fiddler on the Roof. — Chris Atkins (@scatatkins) March 3, 2020
And lots of people responded with some very funny suggestions. Here are our 23 favourites.
1.
Christine Hamilton — Gerard Ward (@Reg_Draw) March 3, 2020
2.
Jesus Christ Fenton, Superstar — Tim Allard (@piersallard) March 3, 2020
3.
Fred West Side Story — Dave Calhoun (@davecalhoun) March 3, 2020
4.
Guys and Inflatable Dolls — Colin Baines (@ColinBaines15) March 3, 2020
5.
Chitty Chitty Gang Bang — Johnny Wessex ⭐ #Holdthemtoaccount (@johnnyjonjonny) March 3, 2020
6.
Les Dennis Miserables — Mark Gray (@saintlymark) March 3, 2020
7.
Joseph Goebbels And The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat — (((Peter Vintner Esq.))) #FBPE (@pvandck) March 3, 2020
8.
The Burger King and I — Bex Langley – where’s the extra £350m for the NHS? (@YvonneLangley01) March 3, 2020
9.
Les Dawson Miserables — Dave Calhoun (@davecalhoun) March 3, 2020
10.
Jamie Oliver — Ben Dowell (@BenDowell) March 3, 2020
11.
Chitty Chitty Gang Bang — Johnny Wessex ⭐ #Holdthemtoaccount (@johnnyjonjonny) March 3, 2020
12.


thepoke--2020-03-05--Jurgen Klopp’s take on the coronavirus is just one more reason to love him

Jürgen Klopp has a lot on his plate right now , steering Liverpool FC into the home strait of the @ @ @ @ @ – something that has eluded them so far .
But when he was asked about @ @ @ @ @ time to give this comprehensive answer .
If everybody with no expert knowledge kept their @ @ @ @ @ would be a pleasanter place , the internet would be 95 per cent quieter and @ @ @ @ @ lot less to write about , but it ’ s still a refreshing change .
@ @ @ @ @ people thought of his response .
Hanrahahanrahan had this simple wish .
These 30 seconds @ @ @ @ @ best post-match interview you ’ ll see this season

Pics
Jürgen Klopp has a lot on his plate right now, steering Liverpool FC into the home strait of the race to the Premiership title – something that has eluded them so far.
But when he was asked about coronavirus, he found the time to give this comprehensive answer.
“It’s not important what famous people say… My opinion about corona, it's not important." Liverpool manager Jürgen Klopp says only “people with knowledge should talk about” the novel coronavirus outbreak. pic.twitter.com/UwC9HrG7Em — Channel 4 News (@Channel4News) March 4, 2020
If everybody with no expert knowledge kept their mouths shut, the world would be a pleasanter place, the internet would be 95 per cent quieter and we’d have a lot less to write about, but it’s still a refreshing change.
Here’s what other people thought of his response.
1.
It would be a great improvement if TV current affairs shows took Juergen Klopp’s advice and didn’t book people to speak about things they have no knowledge about, merely an uninformed opinion https://t.co/Tjvl9Q85a3 — Gavin Esler (@gavinesler) March 4, 2020
2.
We have the best manager. More people should respond this way. pic.twitter.com/plqr59zJ39 — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) March 4, 2020
3.
4.
What a Man❗
(And I'm a #ManchesterUnited supporter😳)#Liverpool manager #Kloop shutting down a football reporter asking a very dumb question about the #Coronavirus 💪💪💪 pic.twitter.com/Gf2GMVA5hy — Michael Andersen (@MAjourno) March 4, 2020
5.
Absolutely applauding this. It's odd how rare this answer is! https://t.co/7nAPfgq8SV — Paul Crowley (@ciphergoth) March 4, 2020
Hanrahahanrahan had this simple wish.
I wish Jürgen Klopp was President of Earth. — Hannah O'Hanrahahanrahan (@buntyhoven) March 4, 2020
via GIPHY
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These 30 seconds of Jurgen Klopp are the best post-match interview you’ll see this season
Source Channel 4 Image Channel 4


thepoke--2020-03-05--People are describing their roles via “greatest hits” – 28 absolute bangers

Do you ever feel that people don ’ t understand what ’ s involved in your job or your role @ @ @ @ @ you could tell them ?
The latest Twitter meme encourages people to do exactly that @ @ @ @ @ greatest hits ” .
It seemed to start with this delightful offering , from senior @ @ @ @ @ It spread like a virus in a face-touching sneeze party , and these were our @ @

Twitter
Do you ever feel that people don’t understand what’s involved in your job or your role in life and you wish you could tell them? The latest Twitter meme encourages people to do exactly that, by explaining their “greatest hits”.
It seemed to start with this delightful offering, from senior engineer, Jules Glegg.
Hi, I’m a senior engineer. You might know me from my greatest hits “but *why* is it null?” “There is greater honor in deleting code than in writing more” And the chart-topping “let’s just walk over to them and ask” — Jules Glegg 🏳⚧ (@heyjulesfern) February 27, 2020
It spread like a virus in a face-touching sneeze party, and these were our favourites.
1.
Hi, I'm a Twitter Employee. You might know me from my hits “Sorry I can’t ban Donald Tr*mp” "I don’t know why there isn’t an edit button" And the chart-topping, "Nope, I can’t verify you." https://t.co/sde804U7qz — Hamza (@oihamza) February 29, 2020
2.
Hi, I’m a pediatrician. You may know me from my hits “that’s not technically a fever” “I still can’t fix that cough,” and the chart-topping “let me explain again why an antibiotic isn’t indicated.” https://t.co/xyndVlE1bh — Daniel Summers (@WFKARS) March 1, 2020
3.
Hi, I'm a PR expert. You might know me from my hits "why are we launching this?" "Who actually needs this?" And the chart-topping, "your so-called PR problem is actually a product problem." https://t.co/fMVtDJ4rZd — jessica powell (@themoko) February 28, 2020
4.
Hi, I’m an accountant. You might know me from my hits “I just worked 70 hours this week,” “I cant go because that’s during busy season,” and the chart-topping, “no, I can’t help you with your taxes.” https://t.co/WM7M6K11Z7 — TheBig4Accountant (@TheBig4Tweets) March 2, 2020
5.
Hi, I’m a College Professor: You might know me from my hits “Read the syllabus” “No, I don’t give extra credit” “It’s the last day of class so No I don’t have office hours” “I actually can’t speak to yr parents” “It’s Dr. not Mrs.” And the chart-topping, “It’s. ON. The.Syllabus.” https://t.co/Dl9tVK35t3 — the black mommy activist (@kayewhitehead) March 1, 2020
6.
Hi, I'm a photographer. You might know me from my hits “Exposure won’t pay my rent” “Please don’t steal my work” and the chart-topping, “Yes the iPhone takes great photos but please get in the sea.” https://t.co/UuUsmtc0FD — Zoë Noble (@ZoNoPhoto) February 29, 2020
7.
Hi, I’m a hairstylist. You may remember me from such hits as “you sure you haven’t coloured your own hair?” “Yes a trim costs the same as a cut and blow dry” “Don’t mind me, I haven’t managed a lunch hour in 19 years” https://t.co/vdz4PcS00a — your mum (@AuntyMartin) March 3, 2020
8.
Hi, I’m an interior designer. You may know me from hits such as “you have 3 small kids and only want white sofas?” “Are you sure you want to fill your £3m home with £25.99 lamps” and the smash hit “Ohh! Your mother in law has a flair for design, does she?!” https://t.co/6yh1AMEBTW — Charlotte (@RoylePin) March 3, 2020
9.
Hi. I'm a comedian. You may know me from such classics as 'you don't have to like it, comedy is subjective you know', 'yes that was the joke' and 'is there an exit I can go through to avoid the audience?' https://t.co/oUA2YBQdrd — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) March 2, 2020
10.
Hi, I’m a press officer. You may know me from such floor-filling bangers as “OK, but what’s the news angle?”, “I’m afraid the piece didn’t run in the end” and “I have no power to impel Ed Sheeran to agree to an interview” https://t.co/CtjiGomHuX — Rick Burin (@rickburin) March 2, 2020
11.
Hi, I'm an epidemiologist. You may know me from my hits "no, I don't study skin diseases," "correlation is not necessarily causation," and the chart-topping "it depends." #epitwitter https://t.co/loWZAZrr3p — Julia Marcus, PhD, MPH (@JuliaLMarcus) March 2, 2020
12.
Hi, I'm a web developer, you may know me from my smash hits "Websites don't work like that", "Websites don't work like that", "Websites don't work like that" and "Websites can work like that but really shouldn't" https://t.co/PY1QtWM8EA — Seb Patrick (@sebpatrick) March 2, 2020
13.
Hi, I’m a sportswriter. You might know me from my hits “You can’t sit with me in the press box” and “I carry my own bag thank you.” And the chart-topping “No, I can’t get you tickets to the game.” https://t.co/lDmlbE0Ktq — Teresa Walker (@TeresaMWalker) March 1, 2020
14.


thepoke--2020-03-05--Instructions on how to protect yourself from coronavirus (wait for it)

Some helpful tips here on how to protect yourself from coronavirus .
But it wasn ’ t the tips that @ @ @ @ @ , it ’ s what happens at the end of it .
How ( not @ @ @ @ @

Videos
Some helpful tips here on how to protect yourself from coronavirus. But it wasn’t the tips that sent this clip wildly viral, it’s what happens at the end of it.
Wait for it, wait for it …
Killer comic timing!
I’m dead and potentially she is too!!! 😭💀 — Fred Schultz (@fred035schultz) March 4, 2020
Be afraid, be very afraid with people like this in charge of our health safety.. 😖😖 — Paul Bergum (@paul_bergum) March 4, 2020
She didn’t say tongue. It’s all good. 👍 — Very Stable Sock Monkey (@TheToesKnows1) March 4, 2020
Ewww. That's a nasty habit at the best of times, it's one of my pet peeves. — L (@florabotanics) March 5, 2020
But, inadvertently, probably one of the best ways of getting the message out there. — William Speirs (@SpeirsWilliam) March 5, 2020
READ MORE
How (not) to wash your hands
Source Twitter @bmay Twitter @HolyCow_Inc


thepoke--2020-03-05--How (not) to wash your hands

How (not) to wash your hands

The current advice for lowering the odds of contracting Covid-19 , the coronavirus that ’ s left parts of China @ @ @ @ @ , is frequent and thorough hand washing .
But how ?
Cartoonist , Chris ( @ @ @ @ @ in the blanks with this instructional comic strip .
We don ’ t remember the @ @ @ @ @ of that .
We ’ ll post updates as soon as Rishi Sunak demonstrates it @ @ @ @ @ listener realised Coronavirus was serious says a lot about hygiene standards

Pics
The current advice for lowering the odds of contracting Covid-19, the coronavirus that’s left parts of China and Italy like ghost towns, is frequent and thorough hand washing. But how?
Cartoonist, Chris (Simpsons artist) has filled in the blanks with this instructional comic strip.
We don’t remember the Chief Medical Officer mentioning any of that. We’ll post updates as soon as Rishi Sunak demonstrates it.
READ MORE
The moment this LBC listener realised Coronavirus was serious says a lot about hygiene standards
Source @chrissimpsonsartist Inage @chrissimpsonsartist


thepoke--2020-03-05--An old picture from Stonehenge is creeping people out – 9 nightmare scenarios

The official Twitter account of Stonehenge has been sharing archive photos of ordinary sightseers posing with the neolithic landmark , @ @ @ @ @ attracted attention .
What is it about two young children that gives us the shivers @ @ @ @ @ mystery .
This is what people had to say about Donald and Roy ’ s @ @ @ @ @ that , Andy .
None of us are going to sleep .

Pics
The official Twitter account of Stonehenge has been sharing archive photos of ordinary sightseers posing with the neolithic landmark, and on in particular has attracted attention.
This dramatic photo is of Donald and Roy with their mother in 1939 – they'd traveled by train from Sheffield for a holiday in Bournemouth and made a special trip to Stonehenge. 'Your Stonehenge – 150 years of personal photos' ➡ https://t.co/zwWwZYFt8h pic.twitter.com/0XaSJyKVI1 — Stonehenge (@EH_Stonehenge) March 3, 2020
What is it about two young children that gives us the shivers? It’s a mystery.
via GIPHY
This is what people had to say about Donald and Roy’s day out.
1.
I loved this horror movie, Edward Woodward played the disbelieving husband with a dark secret. https://t.co/bVw3vqKtme — Laz,husband of Rachel. Destroyer of Worlds.🎪 (@lazaroumterror) March 4, 2020
2.
Everyone who sees this cursed image dies in a rusty barbed wire incident soon after. Sorry folks. https://t.co/NW6Z7KCI9L — Lee Harvey (@valleyguitarist) March 3, 2020
3.
4.
what a weirdly compelling photo. If I encountered these three at Stonehenge I'm not sure I'd make it out alive https://t.co/VfqiUlr3Ll — Simon Brackenborough (@sbrackenborough) March 3, 2020
5.
Are you quite sure they didn't come from the Overlook Hotel? https://t.co/Uw6jw85F23 — @Lost_tales_podcast (@Losttalespodca1) March 3, 2020
6.
Good morning to these three, freezing my blood to jelly. Via @tamarfeast x https://t.co/NNuzbscsck — Sarah Phelps (@PhelpsieSarah) March 4, 2020
7.
KONZEPT: Turn of the Screw https://t.co/AccvZ38wc2 — DAS KONZEPT (@DAS_KONZEPT_) March 3, 2020
8.
I zoomed in too far and now I’m freaked out pic.twitter.com/DD2f1ui3dR — 🌟 Joanna Montgomery 🌟 (@joannamont) March 4, 2020
9.
Donald and Roy's mother was never seen again https://t.co/z424TUyOMo — toby young's zipface grift (@vegansausagero1) March 3, 2020
Andy Partridge went even darker.
Lovely picture of the stones. Just the stones. Nobody in the picture. Just the stones on their own… — Andy Partridge (@AndyP2609) March 3, 2020
Thanks for that, Andy. None of us are going to sleep.
READ MORE
This creepy mechanical nurse is raising people’s blood pressures
Source Stonehenge Image Stonehenge


thepoke--2020-03-05--The moment this LBC listener realised Coronavirus was serious says a lot about hygiene standards

James O ’ Brien asked his listeners what had made them realise that Covid-19 – the coronavirus – was a @ @ @ @ @ , and one caller ’ s anecdote really stood out .
Martin ’ s epiphany @ @ @ @ @ hygiene – perhaps particularly amongst men .
The main message of the Health Department , @ @ @ @ @ , is to wash hands frequently and thoroughly , but it shouldn ’ t take @ @ @ @ @ do that , surely ?
In Martin ’ s experience , the message has been @ @ @ @ @ eight sinks and people were washing their hands in all of them , and it @ @ @ @ @ stay longer to wash their hands for as long as possible.
” Sadly , not @ @ @ @ @ seriously .
We ’ re just going to self-isolate until people stop being gross – @ @ @ @ @ two rail travellers aren ’ t messing with coronavirus and people had questions , lots @ @

Videos
James O’Brien asked his listeners what had made them realise that Covid-19 – the coronavirus – was a serious matter in their country, and one caller’s anecdote really stood out.
Martin’s epiphany says a lot about public hygiene – perhaps particularly amongst men.
“The normal behaviour of gentlemen is to nip in and nip out as quickly as possible.”
via Gfycat
The main message of the Health Department, and the World Health Organization, is to wash hands frequently and thoroughly, but it shouldn’t take a pandemic to make people do that, surely?
In Martin’s experience, the message has been effective.
“There were eight sinks and people were washing their hands in all of them, and it was like being shamed to stay longer to wash their hands for as long as possible.”
The moment when men began to wash their hands the way women have always done — Yvonne Johnston 📚🎶🎟🎭🍸🌱🐟 (@Whyjay99) March 4, 2020
Sadly, not everybody is taking it that seriously.
Saw a guy in the station toilets emerge from the cubicle after doing a shit then walk out without washing his hands. Few minutes later see him groping a ticket machine like they were on their 3rd date. Didn’t think my “oh god we’re all going to die” moment would be this mundane. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 4, 2020
We’re just going to self-isolate until people stop being gross – so, forever.
READ MORE
These two rail travellers aren’t messing with coronavirus and people had questions, lots of questions
Source LBC Image LBC, @Al_Khattab on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-03-05--Gary Lineker had the perfect response to this joke about Roger Bannister

Sir Roger Bannister was an absolute legend amongst athletes , having been the first person to run a sub-four-minute mile @ @ @ @ @ impossible , and he died in 2018 just before his 89th birthday .
On his @ @ @ @ @ this pretty funny joke that riffed on the runner ’ s surname .
As much @ @ @ @ @ Gary Lineker ‘ s response elevated it to something pretty special .
Perhaps inevitably , @ @ @ @ @ gag could run and run .
Gary Lineker had the last word after calling out @ @ @ @ @ over Meghan Markle

Twitter
Sir Roger Bannister was an absolute legend amongst athletes, having been the first person to run a sub-four-minute mile – a feat previously considered impossible, and he died in 2018 just before his 89th birthday.
On his anniversary, Anthony McGowan tweeted this pretty funny joke that riffed on the runner’s surname.
I see that Sir Roger Bannister died two years ago today. Great man – how many more people would have fallen down the stairs without his brilliant invention? — Anthony McGowan (@anthony_mcgowan) March 4, 2020
As much as we liked that, Gary Lineker‘s response elevated it to something pretty special.
One every 4 minutes. https://t.co/kei5qMgMAS — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) March 4, 2020
Perhaps inevitably, someone added this.
Saw that one coming a mile away…. — Joe (@jcw999) March 4, 2020
This gag could run and run.
READ MORE
Gary Lineker had the last word after calling out ‘weird’ Piers Morgan over Meghan Markle
Source Anthony McGowan Image BBC, YouTube screengrab


thepoke--2020-03-05--Our 5 favourite takes on the Chancellor’s not at all cringeworthy handwashing photo

A storm in a Yorkshire teacup blew up after the Chancellor , Rishi Sunak , tweeted this not at all @ @ @ @ @ a round of tea .
Having thrown the Yorkshire Tea comms team into mayhem , @ @ @ @ @ do anything like that again .
Oh no , actually , he wasn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ had to say about it .
The picture put comedian Ahir Shah in mind of @ @ @ @ @ Lady Macbeth , in case you weren ’ t sure .
Yorkshire Tea ’ s @ @ @ @ @ wouldn ’ t let that Tory photo go is a very British triumph

Twitter
A storm in a Yorkshire teacup blew up after the Chancellor, Rishi Sunak, tweeted this not at all staged photo of him pretending to be making a round of tea.
Quick Budget prep break making tea for the team. Nothing like a good Yorkshire brew. pic.twitter.com/zhoQM9Ksho — Rishi Sunak (@RishiSunak) February 21, 2020
Having thrown the Yorkshire Tea comms team into mayhem, Sunak was careful not to do anything like that again. Oh no, actually, he wasn’t.
The whole government is working closely together to tackle COVID-19. We are taking firm action to support your families, your businesses and the public services on which you rely. We can all help fight this virus by washing our hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. pic.twitter.com/9q6CJeKKLa — Rishi Sunak (@RishiSunak) March 3, 2020
This is what Twitter had to say about it.
1.
The Carex comms team have just had a heart attack… https://t.co/bVwthvcR8k — Philip Cowley (@philipjcowley) March 3, 2020
2.
Just waiting for Sue to start shouting at taps https://t.co/KwSj3bXctj — Red Sky At Night (@redskyatnight) March 3, 2020
3.
I like to sing Land of Soap and Glory when I'm washing mine. @fr_jude https://t.co/nxE47NGU8s — Mark ne-Francois-pas MP 🇬🇧 (@MarkFrancois12) March 3, 2020
4.
Well done! Rishi can drink tea AND wash his hands. Totes amazeballs https://t.co/Q5eoxR24Mz — Sarah Williams (@swillN17) March 3, 2020
5.
Enjoying thinking about the person who's been tasked with taking pictures of Rishi Sunak doing boring daily activities https://t.co/rtXBJ4UkDy — Kate Wilsea (@katewilsea) March 3, 2020
The picture put comedian Ahir Shah in mind of a well-known Shakespeare character.
Me after I convince my husband to murder King Duncan pic.twitter.com/zKl2goWSdJ — Ahir Shah (@AhirShah) March 3, 2020
Lady Macbeth, in case you weren’t sure.
“Out, damned Budget.”
READ MORE
Yorkshire Tea’s takedown of a troll who wouldn’t let that Tory photo go is a very British triumph
Source Rishi Sunak Image Rishi Sunak


thepoke--2020-03-05--People have been sharing what they used to drink instead of water after Caitlin Moran said this

Journalist and author Caitlin Moran got people thinking what they used to drink instead of water after she said this @ @ @ @ @ ’ s fair to say it struck a chord .
Here are just some of @ @ @ @ @ say .
That ’ ll do for now .
We ’ re off for a @ @ @ @ @ Moran asked about the downsides of being a man and men opened up – 19 @ @

Twitter
Journalist and author Caitlin Moran got people thinking what they used to drink instead of water after she said this on Twitter.
Does anyone remember actually drinking water in the 80's/90's? If you left the house, you couldn't get bottled water back then, and we weren't taking reusable water bottles with us. DID WE EVER DRINK WATER? I don't have a single memory of it. — Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) March 4, 2020
And it’s fair to say it struck a chord. Here are just some of the things people had to say.
1.
Nope. I honestly didn’t drink water through my whole childhood, it wasn’t a thing. We just had orange squash. For every drink. — Rachel Parris (@rachelparris) March 4, 2020
2.
Why did we not just turn to POWDER? — Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) March 4, 2020
3.
Slush puppies were the closest I got to drinking water. Um bongo. Capri sun. Panda cola. Or milk — Eos (@EosCounsell) March 4, 2020
4.
I remember drinking the water out of water pistols and making tiny tangerine flavoured drinks with tictac boxes — BLTP (@Gargarin) March 4, 2020
5.
Playing sport in the 70s & 80s, you were often actively discouraged from drinking water on the grounds it would "give you a stitch". I seem to recall @prodnose making this point a few years ago. — Point Communications (@PointCommsLee) March 4, 2020
6.
A stitch! That's a blast from the past. What ever happened to them. I remember everyone having them back in the day but you never hear of them anymore. — Matt Jones 🏴 (@mj291278) March 4, 2020
7.
I asked this recently. Were we all permanently dehydrated? Answers tended to be either we didn’t go out as much or travel as far Also squash in one of these pic.twitter.com/gFOuiF5oZD — Louise Dillon 🕷 #FBPE (@newpencilcase) March 4, 2020
8.
Ahh, the Roughneck flask. Keeping things tepid 24/7!! — Mick (@twitmgs) March 4, 2020
9.
Tizer or Corona pop. Fizzy Vimto. Orange squash. And Lucozade when poorly. — Josie Lawrence (@josielawrence1) March 4, 2020
10.
Lucozade was considered a 'tonic'. My mum used to buy it from the chemist. It came in a large screw top bottle wrapped in crinkly orange cellophane. One bottle had to last the whole illness and the empty taken back to the chemist for 1d. — christine barnett (@olderthanthou) March 4, 2020
11.
We had one water fountain at school. The water tasted like petrol. It was the pre-Jamie Oliver 90s. It may have been petrol. — Helen Kingston (@kingstonwrites) March 4, 2020
12.
No it was always Corona delivered by the milkman! pic.twitter.com/tgdpf14U7f — ✨Sharon✨ (@Sharonc1312) March 4, 2020
13.
Straight from the tap with my head in the sink. Always. It was delicious. Sheffield water is hard and clear and delicious. I miss it. — emily m (@maitlis) March 4, 2020
14.
Loving this thread. Yes! Drinking straight from the tap. Only put water in a glass if it was to dilute ribena or orange squash (barley water if Mum was feeling rich or Wimbledon was on…) — ofjmx (@ofjmx) March 4, 2020
15.
I remember once I was at a theme park with my parents and I passed out from dehydration and I think maybe I had a little sip from a water fountain and we moved on — Amber Sparks🪓 (@ambernoelle) March 4, 2020
16.
I say that every day!!! My 83 yr old dad has never had a glass of water in his life I don’t think!! Just tea and beer xx — Denise Welch (@RealDeniseWelch) March 4, 2020
17.
Tiny glass of water in those French glasses with numbers on the bottom at school lunch and then nothing until you got home on the verge of dehyrdration and furiously drank some Quosh orange squash. — Jane Clapton 🇪🇺🇬🇧 (@janeclapton) March 4, 2020
That’ll do for now. We’re off for a glass of water.
READ MORE
Caitlin Moran asked about the downsides of being a man and men opened up – 19 revealing responses
Source @caitlinmoran Images Wikipedia Pixabay


thepoke--2020-03-05--‘I’ve watched this 12 times. It keeps getting funnier’

This clip of Celine Dion reacting to a fan ’ s best efforts went viral today because , well , @ @ @ @ @ .
And lots and lots of people loved it .
But if you think it @ @ @ @ @ be true , then you ’ re right .
At least , we think you @ @ @ @ @ ’ s the fake one !
No , it ’ s not .
( We @ @ @ @ @ … ) Gary Lineker had the perfect response to this joke about Roger Bannister Source @ @

Videos
This clip of Celine Dion reacting to a fan’s best efforts went viral today because, well, have a watch for yourself.
Singers in cars crushing their fans self esteem.
I hereby claim this format.pic.twitter.com/IVsxJnfPml — Geoff Norcott (@GeoffNorcott) March 5, 2020
And lots and lots of people loved it.
I’ve watched this 12 times. It keeps getting funnier. — Rachel Parris (@rachelparris) March 5, 2020
I think the noise of the car window makes it! 😂 — Ryan J Murphy (@RyanJMurphy) March 5, 2020
The 'finger'! 😱 — Carpe Diem (@THFCtid) March 5, 2020
But if you think it’s too good to be true, then you’re right. At least, we think you are.
Thankfully the real reaction (a fist bump) is on this page: https://t.co/8zRum5eACd good Photoshop though by somebody. — Paul Groom (@MrPaulGroom) March 5, 2020
Or maybe that’s the fake one! No, it’s not. (We don’t think so …)
READ MORE
Gary Lineker had the perfect response to this joke about Roger Bannister
Source @GeoffNorcott


thepoke--2020-03-05--This is a very timely read for anyone tempted to go stockpiling because of coronavirus

Lots of people are thinking about stockpiling stuff because of coronavirus , so much so that they ’ re fighting @ @ @ @ @ .
People like this person , for instance .
And we only mention this because @ @ @ @ @ a few thoughts she found on Facebook .
‘ Saw this on Facebook today and @ @ @ @ @ read for all those idiots clearing the shelves , ’ said @ NatFigBar ( who @ @ @ @ @ it is , it really is .
And it chimed with lots of people .
@ @ @ @ @ Jurgen Klopp ’ s take on the coronavirus is just one more reason to love @

Twitter
Lots of people are thinking about stockpiling stuff because of coronavirus, so much so that they’re fighting over toilet paper in Australia.
People like this person, for instance.
STOCKPILING. Listener has just seen a man leave Sainsbury’s in Chippenham with £200 worth of toilet rolls #Coronavirus — Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) March 5, 2020
And we only mention this because someone called @NatFigBar shared a few thoughts she found on Facebook.
‘Saw this on Facebook today and it’s a must read for all those idiots clearing the shelves,’ said @NatFigBar (who lives in Australia) and it is, it really is.
And it chimed with lots of people.
I had the same with an elderly woman lost and not sure what to do as there were no paper products at shops. It’s awful. — melbourne milo (@kat1299) March 4, 2020
Not everyone, though.
3 people clinging to a cliff by their fingernails; a pregnant woman, a young child & my own son. Who do I save first? MY OWN SON..every time, all the time. If I can help the other two afterwards I will but I know my priorities. I would expect the same in reverse. #myfamilyfirst — Andrew Maunder (@AndyMbbsc) March 4, 2020
READ MORE
Jurgen Klopp’s take on the coronavirus is just one more reason to love him
AND EVEN MORE
Simply 17 coronavirus jokes to help take the edge off (a little bit)
Source Twitter @NatFigBar


thepoke--2020-03-05--Matt Le Tissier said people were worrying too much about coronavirus – only 4 responses you need

Stand down everyone , former Southampton and occasional England footballer Matt Le Tissier has had his say on coronavirus and @ @ @ @ @ say it didn ’ t go down 100 % well .
Le Tissier , now @ @ @ @ @ , suggested people were worrying unnecessarily because it ’ s only the old and people @ @ @ @ @ be affected .
Well , it ’ s definitely one way of looking at it @ @ @ @ @ s way , though , 4 responses which neatly sum up much of the reaction @ @ @ @ @ of people were contrasting his response to Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp ’ s take … @ @ @ @ @ on the coronavirus is just one more reason to love him

Twitter
Stand down everyone, former Southampton and occasional England footballer Matt Le Tissier has had his say on coronavirus and it’s fair to say it didn’t go down 100% well.
Le Tissier, now an ambassador for Southampton FC, suggested people were worrying unnecessarily because it’s only the old and people with existing conditions who will be affected.
Well, it’s definitely one way of looking at it. Not these people’s way, though, 4 responses which neatly sum up much of the reaction it prompted.
Old people and people with health conditions! Matt is happy for you to take one from the team as long as the rest of us are ok! https://t.co/4zsVYuAJ5e — Siob, Princess of Yorkshire #FBPE #FPHD #FBR (@Sillyshib) March 5, 2020
Your gentle reminder that people who are elderly and/or have pre-existing health conditions are worthy of your support and are not afterthoughts. It’s important that everyone practices good hygiene and is cautious because it helps to protect those of us who are most at risk. https://t.co/O3jTp9GU2C — Miriam Mirwitch (@mrwtch) March 5, 2020
We go to Matt Le Tissier where THERE MIGHT BE an opinion on the Cornoa Virus. But which way has he gone? Insightful and considerate or uninformed and heartless. MATT? https://t.co/wzSdXx9j8Y pic.twitter.com/JpdzJtYSnO — Elliot Hackney (@ElliotHackney) March 5, 2020
And lots of people were contrasting his response to Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp’s take …
Thanks for your useless opinion Matt, take a leaf out of Juergen Klopps book and defer to people who understand these things. — Scott (@scottw1517) March 5, 2020
… and it’s, well, illuminating.
“It’s not important what famous people say… My opinion about corona, it's not important." Liverpool manager Jürgen Klopp says only “people with knowledge should talk about” the novel coronavirus outbreak. pic.twitter.com/UwC9HrG7Em — Channel 4 News (@Channel4News) March 4, 2020
READ MORE
Jurgen Klopp’s take on the coronavirus is just one more reason to love him
Source Twitter @MattLeTiss Image YouTube screen grab


thepoke--2020-03-05--Our 16 favourite World Book Day jokes to take your minds off hand washing

Another year , another World Book Day to entertain the children and torment the parents who have to either make @ @ @ @ @ It ’ s great that there ’ s a day to encourage reading , and @ @ @ @ @ jokes about it .
These are the best we ’ ve seen so far .

Twitter
Another year, another World Book Day to entertain the children and torment the parents who have to either make or buy the costumes.
It’s great that there’s a day to encourage reading, and to encourage people to make jokes about it.
These are the best we’ve seen so far.
1.
Not one of you absolute cowards sent your kids to #WorldBookDay as my penis book, huh. Philistine cowards.https://t.co/OFbeVkVGWl pic.twitter.com/6hjVKeCjDn — James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 5, 2020
2.
My son went to school as Snowy from Tin Tin #WorldBookDay pic.twitter.com/AEY6FRbcjh — joe heenan (@joeheenan) March 5, 2020
3.
For world book day I've come as The Bible. I'm staying in a hotel all day and not going anywhere — Hayley Ellis (@Hayles_Ellis) March 5, 2020
4.
If you can’t find the book you’re looking for, then you’re obviously in the….#WorldBookDay pic.twitter.com/Y3PXM1749P — You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) March 5, 2020
5.
There’s absolutely nothing in this book about how to kill a mockingbird. #CatsOfTwitter #WorldBookDay pic.twitter.com/wc2IlhcHOy — Leo (@leosdiaries1) March 5, 2020
6.
World book day today, my son’s gone as Hagrid. Originally he was the man from The Joy of Sex books, but his teacher called him Hagrid so… — Neil (@_Enanem_) March 5, 2020
7.
Just seen my first person in Oldham wearing a face-mask, which is disconcerting. It was the Gruffalo I think? #WorldBookDay — Steve Shanyaski (@steveshanyaski) March 5, 2020
8.


thepoke--2020-03-05--‘Don’t die of coronavirus without seeing this first, the finest clip you’ll watch this year

Some helpful tips here on how to protect yourself from coronavirus .
But it wasn ’ t the tips that @ @ @ @ @ , it ’ s what happens at the end of it .
Wait for it @ @ @ @ @ How ( not ) to wash your hands


thepoke--2020-03-06--People are remembering how they used to rescue bricks from swimming pools and some non-Brits are ver

People are remembering how they used to rescue bricks from swimming pools and some non-Brits are very confused indeed

It all started when Holly Brockwell got all nostalgic on Twitter … … and was pretty sure she ’ d @ @ @ @ @ .
And she was right .
So @ andraswf ( from Hungary ) decided to @ @ @ @ @ open and the responses came tumbling in .
Here are our favourites .

Twitter
It all started when journalist and ‘professional geek’ Holly Brockwell said this on Twitter …
Without school swimming lessons, I wouldn't be where I am today. By the river, wearing pyjamas, about to save a drowning brick — Holly Brockwell (@holly) March 4, 2020
… and she was pretty sure she’d got some people confused.
I suspect I’ve confused the non-Brits again — Holly Brockwell (@holly) March 4, 2020
And she was right.
pretty much — Lord President Narwhal Tusk (@andraswf) March 4, 2020
For some reason at school, we all had to dive into the swimming pool wearing pyjamas and get a brick out of the deep end. It was a thing — Holly Brockwell (@holly) March 4, 2020
So @andraswf (from Hungary) decided to throw the whole thing wide open and the responses came tumbling in.
Okay, hive mind: is this really a British thing? https://t.co/lBpLGihZ20 — Lord President Narwhal Tusk (@andraswf) March 4, 2020
Here are our favourites.
1.
Yes. Rubber-coated brick though, we’re not monsters. — Ben Cooper (@bencooper) March 4, 2020
2.
yes – because you never know when you’ll have to save a brick from drowning in the middle of the night so we rehearse it from a young age genuinely a thing — dean (@DeanRed123) March 4, 2020
3.
Yep. Me and my mum had to dash around trying to buy some pyjamas that didn’t have cartoon characters on. I was a sensitive child. — Dan Reast (@RoastedReast) March 4, 2020
4.
I definitely remember doing it. Not a regular house brick — a special brick made of a hard, heavy, black rubber substance. Sort of like how I imagine the black box on an airplane. — Ben Stephens (@stephens_ben) March 4, 2020
5.
5.
I did this. Did a lifesaving course at uni too and we did it again then. IIRC it about being able to swim with clothes on in case a brick is drowning. But it turns out bricks can hold their breath for ages. — Pete Bagnall (@pbagnall) March 4, 2020
6.
I believe it started during the great brick drought of 76.
Bricks became so rare that small children were trained to retrieve them from rivers, canals etc.
The pyjamas were in preparation for when we were rushed to hospital afterwards.😀 — craig weaver-martin (@craigmartin46) March 4, 2020
7.
I think the point of the pyjamas was to make a float by tying up the legs and blowing into them. I never get on a boat now without a pair. — corinne williams#FBPE#BetterthanBrexit (@wiliams_corinne) March 4, 2020
8.
Its part of our great heritage as a *checks notes* “independent coastal state.” — roger (@r0g3rd4y) March 4, 2020
9.
Yup. Whatever else life has thrown at me I’ve always been confident that if I’m wearing pyjamas and a brick needs salvaging from 6′ of chlorinated cold water I’m good to go — Nigel Gibson 🐝 (@nogbad) March 4, 2020
10.
I couldn’t do this. Had a panic attack and was “made an example of” in true British fashion so that not only the other kids, but staff as well, humiliated me at the poolside and called me a cry baby. Classic 1979! Finally learned to swim aged 14 once I had a patient teacher. — Candace Taylor-Gregg (@candacekendall_) March 4, 2020
11.
Did it in a full navy uniform once, boots and every thing. Plot twist: was not in the navy. — Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) March 4, 2020
12.
I first read about this in Adrian Mole but I assumed it was a translation error. It sounded too mental to be real. — Peter Ellis (@almostconverge) March 4, 2020
13.
(to be fair, the Adrian Mole books translation was not great) — Lord President Narwhal Tusk (@andraswf) March 4, 2020
14.
In the netherlands it was rings, just in case sonic is ever incapacitated and we have to dive in the river to get that ring to revive him. — Penanggalan🌍🚀🌌🏳🌈 (@Firesnakious) March 4, 2020
15.
It was a thing in Germany to get the gold swimming certificate.
Swimming in clothes is remarkably different, and much, much harder. Useful lesson. — Götz von Berlichingen #FBPE 🐟 #SardinesUK (@georgebernhard) March 4, 2020
16.
So far we’ve established that not only the Brits are doing this, but apparently also the Dutch and the Germans. All I can say is this is the first time I’m glad that we were on the other side of the Wall. — Lord President Narwhal Tusk (@andraswf) March 4, 2020
17.
Also an Australian thing. For a basic swimming/lifesaving certificate. — Mike Stuchbery 💀🍷 (@MikeStuchbery_) March 4, 2020
To conclude …
The replies confirm this. Of all the idiosyncratic stuff about this country, this takes the cake. — Lord President Narwhal Tusk (@andraswf) March 4, 2020
READ MORE
People have been sharing what they used to drink instead of water after Caitlin Moran said this
Source Twitter @holly @andraswf
Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-03-06--They’ve been nicking  hand sanitiser at the Sun and everyone made the same joke

In the efforts to counter the spread of coronavirus , some employers have been putting on extra hand sanitiser for @ @ @ @ @ at the Sun and the Times , it would appear , have been making rather @ @ @ @ @ gesture .
By taking the stuff home with them .
Over to the Guardian ’ @ @ @ @ @ Waterson .
And everyone , well , lots of people , made the same joke @

Twitter
In the efforts to counter the spread of coronavirus, some employers have been putting on extra hand sanitiser for their staff.
Except staff at the Sun and the Times, it would appear, have been making rather too much use of this gesture. By taking the stuff home with them.
Over to the Guardian’s media editor, Jim Waterson.
Big scandal at News UK, home of the Sun and the Times. Email to staff: "You will have noticed hand sanitisers have been placed at different points across the building. Sadly, people have been removing these from the building or bringing in their own empty containers to fill up." — Jim Waterson (@jimwaterson) March 5, 2020
And everyone, well, lots of people, made the same joke.
Gonna need more than a hand sanitizer to clean that lot up — Ali Clean Hands 🐳 (@ali__samson) March 5, 2020
However much soap they use they’ll still be a virus working for The Sun. — Geoff Wilton (@geoffwilton2) March 5, 2020
At News UK you can never sanitise enough. — jorge (@antartica81) March 5, 2020
They overlook the possibility the staff are drinking the stuff. — Mike Holden (@MikeHolden42) March 5, 2020
We’re with @jimwaterson.
Absolutely nothing but respect for the person turning up to work with an empty container of Dettol. — Jim Waterson (@jimwaterson) March 5, 2020
Source Twitter @jimwaterson


thepoke--2020-03-06--This Slipknot-Spice Girls mash-up is a fun, disconcerting watch

We can ’ t speak for the Slipknot song , but this Spice-Girls-Slipknot mash-up , If You Wan na Breathe @ @ @ @ @ better than the Spice Girls tune .
This mash-up of Pantera ’ s ‘ Walk @ @ @ @ @ s ‘ Superman ’ is A++

Videos
We can’t speak for the Slipknot song, but this Spice Girls-Slipknot mash-up, If You Wanna Breathe My Sulfur, is definitely better than the Spice Girls tune.
READ MORE
This mash-up of Pantera’s ‘Walk’ with Black Lace’s ‘Superman’ is A++
Source YouTube


thepoke--2020-03-06--25 of the funniest things we’ve seen on Twitter this week

The news has been full of grim updates and gloomy predictions about Covid-19 , so we could all be forgiven @ @ @ @ @ , the Twitter stalwarts have been out in force , coming up with the funnies @ @ @ @ @ .

Twitter
The news has been full of grim updates and gloomy predictions about Covid-19, so we could all be forgiven for feeling miserable. Thankfully, the Twitter stalwarts have been out in force, coming up with the funnies.
These were our favourites.
1.
[product design meeting:] as we all know, women only ever need handbags to either carry one single pen or seventeen melons, — Marie Le Conte (@youngvulgarian) March 1, 2020
2.
I need a theory of semantics that accounts for this pic.twitter.com/PQjKV0bSSO — Joshua Raclaw (@joshraclaw) February 28, 2020
3.
at the age of 27 all men have to decide if they're going to be the late 20s/early 30s kind of guy who can take care of houseplants and his sourdough culture OR if he is going to continue only having one towel and using a skateboard as his main mode of transport — Natalya Lobanova (@NatalyaLobanova) February 29, 2020
4.
No hand sanitiser? No problem!
1. Stew 20 sliced lemons in vinegar for 5 hours.
2. Drain, mix in blender.
3. Reduce 1 pint alcohol on low heat for 3 hours.
4. Add 10 drops reduced alcohol to lemons every 30 minutes.
5. You’ve now spent all day indoors. No need for sanitiser! — paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) March 1, 2020
5.
conversation i just heard in wilko:
him: do you reckon you’ll need ID?
her: why would i need ID to buy a cactus?
him (incredulous): cos it’s spiky man — don’t give up (@multiplebears) February 29, 2020
6.
Seems a perfectly reasonable justification for my forthcoming killing spree. pic.twitter.com/son1CkjNhq — Jason Hazeley (@JasonHazeley) March 1, 2020
7.
I take about 20 mins to leave a hotel room when I checkout.
"Better check the bathroom.
Phone charger!
It's in my suitcase.
Shit my glasses!
It's ok I'm wearing them.
Better check the bathroom again.
The bed!
That's the hotels.
Right, let's go!"
*Checks bathroom* — joe heenan (@joeheenan) March 1, 2020
8.
9.
Narrator voice: they were not. pic.twitter.com/appDqwnsOe — Ryan Cordell (@ryancordell) February 29, 2020
10.
Top Seven Times People Clap When They Shouldn’t: 7. After the Eulogy
6. Golfing
5. During Church
4. Any slow clap
3. After the sex
2. End of a movie at a theater
1. When the plane lands — Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) February 29, 2020
11.
A couple share rice-cakes on the bus.
Man: Nice aren't they?
Woman: No Nathan. I'm sorry. I'm going to stop pretending I like them.
Silence. — Miranda Keeling (@MirandaKeeling) February 29, 2020
12.


thepoke--2020-03-06--People have been sharing their favourite bits of toilet graffiti – 15 of the best

We ’ ve all seen graffiti in public toilets – some of us may have written some , because somebody @ @ @ @ @ Reddit user mashyoo asked people to share the best bit of toilet graffiti they ’ @ @ @ @ @ they didn ’ t disappoint .

Weird World
We’ve all seen graffiti in public toilets – some of us may have written some, because somebody must be doing it.
Reddit user mashyoo asked people to share the best bit of toilet graffiti they’d ever seen, and they didn’t disappoint.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.


thepoke--2020-03-06--Donald Trump said people can go to work with the coronavirus – 7 sick burns

Somebody might know what goes on in Donald Trump ‘ s brain , but it very much looks like he @ @ @ @ @ we definitely don ’ t .
His latest bit of WTFery saw him claim that @ @ @ @ @ could go to work , because it ’ s not that bad .
He subsequently @ @ @ @ @ let a recording of what you ’ ve said get in the way of a @ @ @ @ @ ’ t having the best of days .
Here are just a few takes on @ @ @ @ @ grasp of the situation .
If you thought Trump couldn ’ t get any worse @ @ @ @ @ how the disease might help the US economy .
Mike Pence is the new US @ @ @ @ @ ’ t reassured – 5 viral reactions

Twitter
Somebody might know what goes on in Donald Trump‘s brain, but it very much looks like he doesn’t – and we definitely don’t. His latest bit of WTFery saw him claim that people infected with the coronavirus could go to work, because it’s not that bad.
Here is the President of the United States telling the country it's okay to go to work with Coronavirus. I'm not kidding. pic.twitter.com/Tz4kKbyear — Matt Rogers 🎙 (@Politidope) March 5, 2020
He subsequently tweeted this, because why let a recording of what you’ve said get in the way of a good denial?
I NEVER said people that are feeling sick should go to work. This is just more Fake News and disinformation put out by the Democrats, in particular MSDNC. Comcast covers the CoronaVirus situation horribly, only looking to do harm to the incredible & successful effort being made! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 5, 2020
He wasn’t having the best of days.
Donald Trump’s day so far: – Claims he never said people who have coronavirus should go to work
– The idiot said it on Hannity last night
– Stock market plummeting again
– Trump is falling apart
– Biden is going to be President
– Trump is going to prison
– It’s still only 11am — Palmer Report (@PalmerReport) March 5, 2020
Here are just a few takes on Trump’s extraordinarily bad grasp of the situation.
1.
2.
Dear @realDonaldTrump: Here’s the problem with what you are saying. People with mild or moderate symptoms can infect others, who may get more severe symptoms, or in certain cases, die. This is why we need to sufficiently test people, which your Administration failed to do. https://t.co/z12ZsxOti5 — Ted Lieu (@tedlieu) March 5, 2020
3.
Q: Sir, isn’t encouraging infected people to avoid medical treatment & go to work an unbelievably irresponsible & dastardly move on your part? Trump: Most people can’t afford medical treatment, so in their final days, we need them to work and keep the U.S. economy humming. https://t.co/mcVCWEl2bL — Dr. David A. Lustig (@drdave1999) March 5, 2020
4.
Trump may have got confused, given that his idea of ‘going to work’ is sitting in his holiday home watching telly & ranting on Twitter, which basically IS self-isolation https://t.co/TRZhH3RZj0 — Dr Louise Raw (@LouiseRawAuthor) March 5, 2020
5.
Trump has had briefings from the nation's best doctors and scientists on #COVIDー19 and he still spouts total, dangerous bullshit.
He's not only stupid, he's unteachable. https://t.co/phw5V5s5As — Peter Gleick (@PeterGleick) March 5, 2020
6.
Am a doctor. Don’t go to work with Coronavirus. Don’t listen to Stupid. https://t.co/5tmnuyhYrE — Dr. Kathie Allen #DemCast (@kathieallenmd) March 5, 2020
7.
Trying to kill your voters is an odd move. https://t.co/HZZajA6Ks9 — Giovanni Tiso (@gtiso) March 5, 2020
Political commentator, Tea Pain, had a very simple assessment.
Jesus help us. We’re all gonna die. https://t.co/qlZY4yp93p — Tea Pain (@TeaPainUSA) March 5, 2020
If you thought Trump couldn’t get any worse, here he is highlighting how the disease might help the US economy.
Trump tries to find a silver lining to the coronavirus during Fox News town hall: "I have to say, people are now staying in the United States, spending their money in the US — and I like that." pic.twitter.com/lbERhrSq6t — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) March 5, 2020
Donald Trump – friend of the virus.
READ MORE
Mike Pence is the new US coronavirus czar and people aren’t reassured – 5 viral reactions
Source Matt Rogers Image Sky News, CDC


thepoke--2020-03-06--There’s something a little off with this equality drive in Hungary’s British Embassy

The British Embassy in Budapest has been doing sterling work towards creating a climate of gender equality , if they @ @ @ @ @ There ’ s just one slight problem with that – see if you can spot @ @ @ @ @ weren ’ t the only ones thinking they probably haven ’ t quite nailed this @ @ @ @ @ ter Reehorst had this niggling suspicion about the photo ’ s gender imbalance .
8 @ @ @ @ @ ’ s astonishing claim that he promoted women ’ s equality

Twitter
The British Embassy in Budapest has been doing sterling work towards creating a climate of gender equality, if they are to be believed.
There’s just one slight problem with that – see if you can spot what it is.
"Each for Equal" – This year the campaign around the #InternationalWomensDay focuses around #genderequality. Our Embassy proud of its effort to facilitate gender equality and recognize the female colleagues' contribution to the Embassy's susccess. #IWD2020 pic.twitter.com/PKuH7LYlUi — UK in Hungary (@ukinhungary) March 5, 2020
Erm …that’s a bit of a heavy male-to-female ratio.
We weren’t the only ones thinking they probably haven’t quite nailed this equality thing yet.
1.
count the number of women on this picture https://t.co/TbfwZrlyVm — Lord President Narwhal Tusk (@andraswf) March 5, 2020
2.
This photo is so white it’s trying to return a gilet with no receipt. https://t.co/ZnE2QCTZmm — Rika Nakamura (@Kuidaor3) March 5, 2020
3.
QUICK. GET OUR ONE FEMALE COLLEAGUE AND MAKE SURE SHE'S CENTRE FRAME TO SHOW WE CARE ABOUT WOMEN. https://t.co/aQGg5jHSRi — ⚫ Ashleigh-Jayne 🎵 (@SmashleighJayne) March 5, 2020
4.
"gender equality" *posts a picture of one woman surrounded by men* — paraguaya naturalizada (@danimadu) March 5, 2020
Mick ter Reehorst had this niggling suspicion about the photo’s gender imbalance.
The female colleagues are probably doing actual work towards gender equality inside. https://t.co/7CxxtlUrWl — Mick ter Reehorst (@Micktr) March 5, 2020
Sounds highly likely.
READ MORE
8 scathing reactions to Harvey Weinstein’s astonishing claim that he promoted women’s equality
Source @ukinhungary Image @ukinhungary


thepoke--2020-03-06--Handwashing with Lady Macbeth is the way forward in the fight against the coronavirus

In the battle against Covid-19 , the World Health Organization has issued guidelines on effective handwashing , the best way @ @ @ @ @ spreading .
And don ’ t forget to do it for the time it takes @ @ @ @ @ .
Obviously , a clear and easily edited image like that was always going to @ @ @ @ @ comedians – and scholars .
A satirical musical duo named Fossilheads took the images and @ @ @ @ @ Lady Macbeth , which they posted to their Facebook page .
The clever edit came @ @ @ @ @ wider audience when it was shared on Twitter , appropriately enough , by the Reduced @ @ @ @ @ enjoyed these reactions .
Sunny Singh boiled it down to this : Exactly as outlined @ @ @ @ @ 13 Happy Birthday alternatives to sing whilst washing your hands for 20 seconds

Pics
In the battle against Covid-19, the World Health Organization has issued guidelines on effective handwashing, the best way of preventing the virus from spreading.
Via
And don’t forget to do it for the time it takes to sing Happy Birthday twice.
Obviously, a clear and easily edited image like that was always going to be very tempting to internet comedians – and scholars.
A satirical musical duo named Fossilheads took the images and added the handwashing soliloquy by Lady Macbeth, which they posted to their Facebook page.
The clever edit came to the attention of a wider audience when it was shared on Twitter, appropriately enough, by the Reduced Shakespeare Company.
Forget singing in Happy Birthday twice: THIS is what you recite to tell you how long to wash your hands. H/t @ninjalampie pic.twitter.com/TjXMZCQbt2 — Reduced Shakespeare Company (@reduced) March 3, 2020
We really enjoyed these reactions.
don't let anyone tell you an EngLit degree is useless https://t.co/vFi4HgiRBL — Debbie Cameron (@wordspinster) March 4, 2020
Well isn’t this just the most perfect and fitting thing to come out of the whole COVID-19 thang https://t.co/sgOEY6pO67 — Eliza Bennet (@elizabennet3) March 4, 2020
I LOOOOOOVE that this is making #Macbeth trend in the UK https://t.co/7AV4zwjMeZ — Laleh Khalili (@LalehKhalili) March 5, 2020
Sunny Singh boiled it down to this:
Wash your hands like the woman who convinced her husband to commit regicide and now not all great Neptune’s ocean will wash this blood off her hands…. https://t.co/bT7xAqeaRN — Sunny Singh (@sunnysingh_n6) March 5, 2020
Exactly as outlined by the WHO.
READ MORE
Simply 13 Happy Birthday alternatives to sing whilst washing your hands for 20 seconds
Source Fossilheads Image Fossilheads, fiftysophomoricsummers


thepoke--2020-03-06--People have questions about these deaths from 1721 – so many questions

As the name suggests , the Black Plaques Twitter account details the bizarre anecdotes from history that don ’ t @ @ @ @ @ those programmes on BBC Four .
There ’ s a book out , if you @ @ @ @ @ Mother ’ s Day .
A recent post has really caught people ’ s attention @ @ @ @ @ see why .
How many of us haven ’ t come down with a bad @ @ @ @ @ Wilson was drawn to one entry in particular .
Oh , we all do , @ @ @ @ @ avoid them .
Shakespeare ’ s deaths and murders done as an infographic is ideal @ @

Pics
As the name suggests, the Black Plaques Twitter account details the bizarre anecdotes from history that don’t get aired on any of those programmes on BBC Four. There’s a book out, if you want a quirky gift for Mother’s Day.
A recent post has really caught people’s attention, and you can probably see why.
What Londoners died from – this week in 1721😬 pic.twitter.com/XawG3ZQA8r — Black Plaques (@BlackPlaques) March 4, 2020
How many of us haven’t come down with a bad case of purples?
1.
"What did he die of?"
"Horseshoehead."
"…Ho-"
"Horseshoehead."
"He got hit in the head by-"
"Horseshoehead, yes. How am I being unclear?" https://t.co/W3CdeXGxbA — Nathaniel Tapley (@Natt) March 5, 2020
2.
Died of teeth. There's a world of horror there… https://t.co/ZppEI0XnEC — rosamundi (@rosamundi) March 5, 2020
3.
I have SO MANY QUESTIONS Someone died of EVIL? And… THREE PEOPLE died of Rising of the Lights and that sounds INCREDIBLY CREEPY 😱 Also purples, gotta watch out for those purples Two dead of mortification, oof, embarrassing way to go Also… Headmoldshot? Horshoehead? WHAT https://t.co/nlmaqdl6bx — Melissa Caruso (@melisscaru) March 5, 2020
4.
"You 'eard about Frank? Twift o'th guts got 'im" https://t.co/UP71ZljxDK — Ferg (@chester_mcfly) March 5, 2020
5.
I think Evil, Purples and Thrush are the most alarming. https://t.co/VFluusqG8j — Dame VictoriaG Esq (MPhil (failed)) (@ancientnmodern) March 5, 2020
6.
mortification – well we've all been there https://t.co/1jVw05esFg — Rebecca 'stay gold pony boy' Williams (@stupidgirl45) March 5, 2020
Kimberley Wilson was drawn to one entry in particular.
I need to know about the teeth people. 🤔 https://t.co/aEiDmHLFXP — Kimberley Wilson CPsychol (@FoodAndPsych) March 5, 2020
Oh, we all do, Kimberley – if only to avoid them.
READ MORE
Shakespeare’s deaths and murders done as an infographic is ideal comic relief
Source Black Plaques Image Black Plaques


thepoke--2020-03-06--Funerals may be streamed online if there’s a pandemic – 11 sneaky digs at the policy

The government ’ s contingency planning in the case of Covid-19 becoming a pandemic seems to be a work in @ @ @ @ @ Brexit deal and that social care plan they told us about .
Every couple of @ @ @ @ @ a new leak , or maybe “ rumour ” is a better word , the @ @ @ @ @ to how funerals might be conducted in the event of there being – you know @ @ @ @ @ .
There was just something about the combination of death and the internet that really @ @ @ @ @ alight , like some sort of web-based cremation .
We reckon comedian and actor , @ @ @ @ @ onto something in hoping to be able to pick the platform .
This is a @ @ @ @ @ tempted to go stockpiling because of coronavirus

News
The government’s contingency planning in the case of Covid-19 becoming a pandemic seems to be a work in progress, like their oven-ready Brexit deal and that social care plan they told us about.
Every couple of days, there’s a new leak, or maybe “rumour” is a better word, the most recent of which relates to how funerals might be conducted in the event of there being – you know – a lot of them.
Coronavirus: Funerals 'could be streamed online' if COVID-19 becomes pandemic https://t.co/SeVacnZCsy — Sky News (@SkyNews) March 5, 2020
There was just something about the combination of death and the internet that really set Twitter’s creativity alight, like some sort of web-based cremation.
Here’s the result.
1.
No more coffin in public. https://t.co/kTIi0mfCti — David QC (@DavidMuttering) March 5, 2020
2.
he died as he lived. gettin them sweet retweets https://t.co/KpbkIsObgi — 🦇 katie 🦇 (@supermathskid) March 5, 2020
3.
"Here we are gathered to remember a mother of 3, a grandmother of 7, a friend, a member of the community… AND IT'S LIVEEEE" https://t.co/Jp3vppH45t — Elliot (@E_Clifford139) March 5, 2020
4.
5.
6.
Press F to pay respects https://t.co/1R65pVxvHC — James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 5, 2020
7.
Donation goal
10 dollars- I show the body
50 dollars- I slap the body
100 dollars- I scream "POGGERS" https://t.co/ojfdeRrtdX — ATENÇÃO ESTOU COM TESÃO (@COMCHUPP) March 5, 2020
8.
Piracy will be a problem, people not paying n watching an illegal stream from NBC Funerals on RedditFuneralStreams https://t.co/0j6RfWHYXt — Sean from Enderby (@seanfromenderby) March 5, 2020
9.
Forget streaming. I want everyone to have to torrent my funeral. If you're not frantically Googling Amy.O.Connor.The.Great.Farewell.2020.480p.x264-mSD[eztv].mkv.torrent then we were never friends. https://t.co/0dZdNlbML4 — ⭐ amy o'connor ⭐ (@amyohconnor) March 5, 2020
10.
11.
Pay per Pew https://t.co/R1fL98JJys — Captain Kidd (@kidd__kong78) March 5, 2020
We reckon comedian and actor, Bethany Black, might be onto something in hoping to be able to pick the platform.
I want mine on Twitch. https://t.co/F7iMGXfD7q — Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) March 5, 2020
We’re leaning towards Ex-Box.
READ MORE
This is a very timely read for anyone tempted to go stockpiling because of coronavirus
Source Sky News Image @sandym10 and @glencarstonpeters on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-03-06--Simply 23 funny jokes by 23 very funny women for International Women’s Day

It ’ s International Women ’ s Day , so what better day to share some jokes by these 23 @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
It’s International Women’s Day, so what better day to share some jokes by these 23 funny women on Twitter.
1.
Typos can be expensive. One time, I accidentally wrote myself a to-to list and ended up having to bless the rains down in Africa. — Oonagh (@Okeating) February 22, 2020
2.
Ben Folds and Jeremy Irons should get together and start a dry cleaning business.
They could call it Ben and Jerry’s. — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) February 20, 2020
3.
Don’t be frightened of the wind, it’s just miles and miles of really, and I mean REALLY, furious ghosts. — Gee Aitch Cee (@Scriblit) February 9, 2020
4.
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful mouse
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful knife pic.twitter.com/HjYkL7NYi4 — Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) February 18, 2020
5.
Shareef don’t like it pic.twitter.com/EtUBZcawYq — Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) August 31, 2019
6.
7.
Me: *taps mic*
Me: Actually, female sharks are generally larger than male sharks, so the hand gestures in Baby Shark are wrong. Furthermore
[Security guards wrestle me off the stage] — Tits McGee (@Scientits) September 8, 2019
8.
Wow I love Enya pic.twitter.com/xnCZKxW9Qt — Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) January 23, 2020
9.
Massive Placebo fan though pic.twitter.com/xjdnEuC23C — Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) January 17, 2020
10.
Without school swimming lessons, I wouldn’t be where I am today. By the river, wearing pyjamas, about to save a drowning brick — Holly Brockwell (@holly) March 4, 2020
11.
The opposite of a mermaid is a landlady — Cal Wilson (@calbo) September 1, 2019
12.


thepoke--2020-03-06--This American news network’s schoolboy error is so mind-numbingly dumb the entire internet facepalme

This American news network’s schoolboy error is so mind-numbingly dumb the entire internet facepalmed itself

Very few of us have never made a mistake ( and anyone who says otherwise is obviously mistaken ) .
@ @ @ @ @ have ever made a mistake quite this big .
A mistake so mind-numbingly dumb it @ @ @ @ @ how anyone could ever have made it onto American news network , MSNBC .
It @ @ @ @ @ how much failed US presidential wannabe Michael Bloomberg spent on his campaign but any more @ @ @ @ @ .
See if you can spot it … That noise you can hear is the @ @ @ @ @ This mum ’ s guide to ‘ how we make tea in America ‘ is @ @ @

Videos
Very few of us have never made a mistake (and anyone who says otherwise is obviously mistaken).
But not many of us have ever made a mistake quite this big.
A mistake so mind-numbingly dumb it’s hard to think how anyone could ever have made it onto American news network, MSNBC.
It’s a discussion about how much failed US presidential wannabe Michael Bloomberg spent on his campaign but any more than that might spoil it. See if you can spot it …
See if you can spot the math error. 🤦♂ pic.twitter.com/V3b7pRqYUe — Scott English (@iamscottenglish) March 6, 2020
That noise you can hear is the entire internet facepalming itself.
How did this error get past 1 million producerspic.twitter.com/WYl8IzItll — James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 6, 2020
Look at this. Even for US cable news talk, this is a level of stupidity that might never be matched. And it involves an MSNBC anchor and a member of the New York Times board!!! https://t.co/e1ooz6kK16 — Andrew Neil (@afneil) March 6, 2020
this is INCREDIBLE. Two intelligent people (presumably with producers in their ears, and having had time to prep the segment) doing the sum "500 million divided by 327 million" in their heads and coming out with the answer "one million". https://t.co/5e9AYbcWMI — Tom Chivers (@TomChivers) March 6, 2020
In short, this.
America, we have a problemhttps://t.co/gJY44k9nlJ — David Burge (@iowahawkblog) March 6, 2020
READ MORE
This mum’s guide to ‘how we make tea in America ‘ is 100% WTF
Source @iamscottenglish


thepoke--2020-03-06--Simply 17 coronavirus jokes to help take the edge off (a little bit)

Here are 17 jokes a little bit ( and sometimes a lot ) related to coronavirus to help take the @ @ @ @ @ the days until the very worst case scenario – we run out of bog roll @

Twitter
Here are 17 jokes a little bit (and sometimes a lot) related to coronavirus to help take the edge off while we count the days until the very worst case scenario – we run out of bog roll.
1.
Someone on the radio said Britain will remain calm about the Coronavirus.
People phoned the police when KFC ran out of chicken — joe heenan (@joeheenan) March 6, 2020
2.
ALERT‼‼‼
The corona virus can be spread through money. If you have any money at home, put on some gloves, put all the money in to a plastic bag and put it outside the front door tonight. I'm collecting all the plastic bags tonight for safety. Think of your health. — Pre K ❄ (@stayfrea_) March 4, 2020
3.
Ever since it was brought to my attention that you can say “Covid-19” to the tune of “Come on, Eileen,” I’ve been unable to read it any other way — Dr. David Shiffman (@WhySharksMatter) March 4, 2020
4.
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want So tell me what you want, what you really really want I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna I really really really wanna 9 pack of Andrex quilted, a bottle of Carex hand gel, two tins of tomatoes, and a 500g bag of penne please. — Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) March 6, 2020
5.
Just been sensibly stocking up on 45 packets of pasta and noticed a lot of idiots panic buying. — Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell) March 6, 2020
6.
the tube in the time of coronavirus pic.twitter.com/Z3R7Bxo6cP — Mark Di Stefano (@MarkDiStef) March 6, 2020
7.
East London cares not for your plague panic. We will shit in our own good time. pic.twitter.com/2rvfuJsfpO — Mitten d'Amour (@MittenDAmour) March 6, 2020
8.
So it seems that what we fear the most is the inability to wipe our arses. #COVID19 — Dom Joly (@domjoly) March 6, 2020
9.
To all Australians:
If you find yourself at home, staring at a large stockpile of toilet paper…🧻
You’ve contradicted the dreaded fuckwititis, and must be quarantined from society.
Because you’re now not a part of society. #toiletpaperpanic #toiletpaper #ToiletPaperEmergency pic.twitter.com/Lf0E6fZSsY — Wade of Planet Earth (@Becauseofnow) March 6, 2020
10.
https://twitter.com/craiguito/status/1235970585378861056?s=20
11.
I’m not worried about a shortage of toilet paper – I have set aside a substantial supply of things I can use instead:
-the Russia Report
-any briefing paper longer than 3 bullet points
-written complaints about Priti Patel#toiletpaperpanic #COVIDー19 — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) March 6, 2020
12.
What would you think if you saw this just a month ago? I’d assume wanking epidemic pic.twitter.com/ykB6MC1wor — Summer Ray (@SummerRay) March 6, 2020
13.
Anyone want a Scotch egg? I misheard and thought everyone was "picnic buying". I've got thousands of them.#coronavirus — Tony Cowards (@TonyCowards) March 6, 2020
14.
15.
And, here I am again laughing way too hard at a #COVIDー19 meme. 🤣 pic.twitter.com/I0xLSmUOaa — Lindsay (@linzy_lou82) March 6, 2020
16.
Toilet paper is out of stock. Cat litter isn't. You know what you need to do. #toiletpaperpanic — Thomas G. Burt (@thomasgburt) March 6, 2020
17.
https://twitter.com/thatjimdavis/status/1235932483046322176?s=20
BONUS!
The guy who invented hand sanitiser must be rubbing his hands together right now — Kate PT3 (@KateMMA3) March 5, 2020
Image Unsplash


thepoke--2020-03-06--This mum’s guide to ‘how we make tea in America ‘ is 100% WTF

This mum ’ s guide to ‘ how we make tea in America ’ went viral because it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ frankly , terrifying .
Very possibly you already knew that Americans don ’ t use @ @ @ @ @ some people ) but , seriously , that ’ s nothing compared to what you @ @ @ @ @ .
Where do you even begin ?
These people tried .
Apparently it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ re not kidding ) and it ’ s a different thing to , you know @ @ @ @ @ can find more @ jchelle36 on TikTok here .
Australians are disgusted to learn that @ @ @ @ @ electric kettles

Videos
This mum’s guide to ‘how we make tea in America’ went viral because it’s so utterly bizarre and, frankly, terrifying.
Very possibly you already knew that Americans don’t use electric kettles (which appals some people) but, seriously, that’s nothing compared to what you’re about to see.
this is making me cry, americans please say this is inaccurate 😭😭 pic.twitter.com/K165JfACXw — con (@luvconnies) March 3, 2020
Where do you even begin? These people tried.
I can’t how much fucking sugar was that — henry (@bluesdoink) March 5, 2020
That ain’t tea that’s fuckin sugar water. For that much tea you would have to use at least like 7-10 tea bags depending on how much you want and how strong of a tea flavor you want. And that was way too much sugar for that amount of liquid — kass (@KassidyKW18) March 5, 2020
They put sugar in that tea like they got free healthcare or some shit — depression.wav (@klancythewolf) March 6, 2020
Put that on a pan and you got caramel — -_- (@senpainaenae96) March 5, 2020
Apparently it’s sweet tea (they’re not kidding) and it’s a different thing to, you know, tea.
it’s only the crazy southerners i swear — bri =) (@godlovesbrianna) March 5, 2020
It's part of my culture here in the south. I like coffee and hot tea but occasionally I go for some sweet tea. It's normal for house holds to make tea in this way for their families. I think you need to understand that different parts of the USA have different norms and folkways. — Repzilla (@zillarage) March 6, 2020
Well, maybe.
That's not sweet tea. That's sweet water with a hint of tea. Like someone thought about tea near the water when making the sugar water. Needs more teabags.. (and less sugar but that's besides the point) — Liv (@LLIIVValittle) March 5, 2020
We’re with this person.
i've just woken up and my day is already ruined https://t.co/xNlLOnzatR — Patterrz (@Patterrz) March 6, 2020
And you can find more @jchelle36 on TikTok here.
READ MORE
Australians are disgusted to learn that Americans don’t use electric kettles
Source iNabber69


thepoke--2020-03-06--15 nice things that made us feel good inside this week

Our weekly round up of some nice things we saw this week that made us feel a warm glow inside @ @ @ @ @ that made us smile this week

Twitter
Our weekly round up of some nice things we saw this week that made us feel a warm glow inside.
1.
Pea-based joy of the day. pic.twitter.com/ltIqvMRTFy — Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) February 28, 2020
2.
My great grandfather got married on Saturday at 85. My heart is still spilling over in joy. pic.twitter.com/EHrPaTJpSe — Breya M. Johnson (@TheBlackLayers) February 28, 2020
3.
When you meet your favorite character … !! 🐶👇🏼 📹cremedelaezra | Ig pic.twitter.com/FuJfRbkM5r — mondo diverso (@StefanoSMagi) February 28, 2020
4.
This is what makes me happy ❤❤ Before getting off the bus, this little girl told the bus driver that “Shake It Off” was her favorite song, he stopped everything he was doing, turned up the song, and jammed out with her! pic.twitter.com/p2FkjuYmtm — Akki (@akkitwts) February 29, 2020
5.
Please take 9 seconds out of your day to listen to this hedgehog’s tiny little feet go pitter patter pic.twitter.com/jNND5nerZM — Leonardo DiCaprisun (@Heatherrnab) February 29, 2020
6.
A giant bowl of Cookies and cream ice-cream
(dalmatian_zara / IG) pic.twitter.com/BsR7YnFdw6 — Woof Woof® (@WoofWoof_TV) March 1, 2020
7.
this is leny and he absolutely loves sliding down hills
(leny_the_retriever IG) pic.twitter.com/YkEHqyllFq — Humor And Animals (@humorandanimals) March 1, 2020
8.
i’ll take two puppucino’s please
(Khali Titsch FB) pic.twitter.com/28YmU0lPoQ — Humor And Animals (@humorandanimals) March 2, 2020
9.
I think the best part about my college experience is getting my roomie out her comfort zone 💛 pic.twitter.com/S1yUW564ND — Lauryn😛 (@lauryn_breezy) March 2, 2020
10.
This stray dog helps kids safely cross the street 💞 pic.twitter.com/JRik696IF6 — The Dodo (@dodo) March 3, 2020
11.
12.
Okay so skincare has its downsides 😂 pic.twitter.com/O4NoFry3ZE — NcutiGatwa (@NcutiGatwa) March 3, 2020
13.
Why is baby dino so baby pic.twitter.com/PT9syLDkE4 — Oregon Zoo (@OregonZoo) March 4, 2020
14.
i have been laughing at this all day im crying idk why this is so funny pic.twitter.com/U7ZQlsgXiA — cheese toastie (@harvetmoon) March 3, 2020
15.
This may happen if you try to scare a bear away with a waterhose… pic.twitter.com/n0qemWCQ1i — 🌊❄🆘🏳🌈 Dexter (@SoyBoyManBun) March 5, 2020
READ MORE:
Just 19 nice things that made us smile this week


thepoke--2020-03-06--This man selling duvets on a TV shopping channel is so like David Brent it’s uncanny

If you ’ ve ever wondered where David Brent is now , he ’ s selling duvets on a TV @ @ @ @ @ shared by @ islandniles on Twitter went viral because , well , as far as @ @ @ @ @ is uncanny .
There ’ s a theory this Ian Botham interview inspired David Brent @ @ @ @ @

Videos
If you’ve ever wondered where David Brent is now, he’s selling duvets on a TV shopping channel.
This clip shared by @islandniles on Twitter went viral because, well, as far as Brent impressions go, this is uncanny.
I’m sorry but this is actually David Brent flogging duvets on Ideal World pic.twitter.com/3mwiV4loUi — Ben (@islandniles) March 5, 2020
‘I don’t swear at my duvet, I swear by it.’
Brilliant. Has @rickygervais seen this? I think he may be due some royalties. — Simon Price (@Simonpaulprice) March 6, 2020
READ MORE
There’s a theory this Ian Botham interview inspired David Brent and it is totally convincing
Source Twitter @islandniles