thepoke--2020-01-21--‘Ad Placement of the Week’ goes to the company that grabbed this opportunity

In the dog-eat-vegan-sausage-roll world of marketing , it ’ s crucial to grab opportunities that present themselves , like a @ @ @ @ @ here .

Pics
In the dog-eat-vegan-sausage-roll world of marketing, it’s crucial to grab opportunities that present themselves, like a company called Flight Centre has here.
via Gfycat
Give that ad-person an award.
Source Reddit Image Reddit


How We Shop Now

Great cartoon by ManchildManor which went viral on Reddit because it really captures how we shap now .
1 .
@ @ @ @ @ on basically what you want .
2 .
Test drive stuff at Guitar Center and @ @ @ @ @ prices .
3 .
Buy a used instrument at a local shop – you ’ @ @ @ @ @ on the best instrument.
’ You can find ManchildManor on Instagram here and on linktree @ @

Pics
A great cartoon by ManchildManor which went viral on Reddit because it really captures how lots of people shop now.
‘But your store is cute!’
Fellow Redditor joeymcswizzle recommended a different approach.
‘Here’s how you do it: 1. Check prices online and decide on basically what you want.
2. Test drive stuff at Guitar Center and get a further feel for prices.
3. Buy a used instrument at a local shop – you’ll get the best deal on the best instrument.’
some_words44 suggested one further step.
‘4. Annoy people with Wonderwall.’
You can find ManchildManor on Instagram here and on linktree here.
READ MORE
When online shopping goes bad – 15 disastrous deliveries
Source Reddit ManchildManor


thepoke--2020-01-21--‘I somehow accepted a date invite and then stood him up without even knowing it’

Today ’ s episode of the ‘ wonderful world of Tinder ’ comes courtesy of danimuse over on Reddit .
Someone ’ s been wasting time here , but it definitely wasn ’ t her .
And it turned out it was more common than you might think .
‘ That happened to me once .
It was before I had a smartphone .
I came home from being out and I logged in to whatever dating site I was on at the time and saw four messages : Do you want to meet for a drink after work ?
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ time ] ?
I ’ m here , waiting at a table for you .
Where the fuck are you ?
I ’ ve been waiting half an hour !
I told her that I just got home and saw all the messages ; I also suggested she wait for confirmation before going to meet someone.
’ hotelstationery ‘ Had that happen too .
In fact she “ dumped ” me for not being respectful towards her and not valuing her time .
I just said thank you .
I meant it too @ @ @ @ @ @ @ well with that kind of person.
’ GetHisWallet ‘ My Tinder is a joke account where I tell people train facts and answer questions about trains ’

Popular
Today’s episode of the ‘wonderful world of Tinder’ comes courtesy of danimuse over on Reddit.
‘Today I somehow accepted a date invite, and then stood him up, without even knowing it’
Someone’s been wasting time here, but it definitely wasn’t her.
And it turned out it was more common than you might think.
‘That happened to me once. It was before I had a smartphone. I came home from being out and I logged in to whatever dating site I was on at the time and saw four messages: Do you want to meet for a drink after work?
How about [location] and [time]?
I’m here, waiting at a table for you.
Where the fuck are you? I’ve been waiting half an hour! I told her that I just got home and saw all the messages; I also suggested she wait for confirmation before going to meet someone.’ hotelstationery ‘Had that happen too. In fact she “dumped” me for not being respectful towards her and not valuing her time. I just said thank you. I meant it too, because no way I could mix well with that kind of person.’ GetHisWallet “Silence means yes.” floatykiddo_
READ MORE
‘My Tinder is a joke account where I tell people train facts and answer questions about trains’
Source Reddit u/danimuse


thepoke--2020-01-21--Someone tried to get translation work done dirt cheap – with added racism

It ’ s bad enough that some people don ’ t appreciate the value of someone ’ s labour , @ @ @ @ @ into the mix as well , that global extinction starts to look a little more @ @ @ @ @ r/choosingbeggars subreddit , someone called madmoons shared this conversation that slides swiftly downhill , and @ @ @ @ @ started off like a normal word-of-mouth recommendation and request .
After the link was sent @ @ @ @ @ very reasonable estimate , but it didn ’ t go down well .
The choosing @ @ @ @ @ of trying to haggle while accusing the other person of rudeness .
When the reverse @ @ @ @ @ work , they stooped even lower with an outright racist attack .
So classy .
@ @ @ @ @ to reach out to the Chinese market .
We can ’ t see that going @ @ @ @ @ “ Damn Chinese people and their…shuffles deck…wanting to receive fair compensation for services rendered .
@

Weird World
It’s bad enough that some people don’t appreciate the value of someone’s labour, but when they throw racism into the mix as well, that global extinction starts to look a little more welcome.
Over on the r/choosingbeggars subreddit, someone called madmoons shared this conversation that slides swiftly downhill, and just keeps going.
Trigger warning for racist language.
It started off like a normal word-of-mouth recommendation and request.
After the link was sent, the interpreter gave a very reasonable estimate, but it didn’t go down well.
The choosing beggar tried the odd tactic of trying to haggle while accusing the other person of rudeness.
When the reverse charm offensive didn’t work, they stooped even lower with an outright racist attack. So classy.
And this person is trying to reach out to the Chinese market. We can’t see that going horribly wrong at all.
As Smgth remarked,
“Damn Chinese people and their…shuffles deck…wanting to receive fair compensation for services rendered.”
Source Reddit Image Reddit, @helloquence on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-01-21--Which is your sleep position? People are baffled by number 13

Sports broadcaster Allan Bell has shared an intimate detail of his bedroom behaviour – nothing smutty , of course .
@ @ @ @ @ but he makes a good point about number 13 .
Has anybody over the age @ @ @ @ @ like that ?
Looks like it ’ s a no on the number 13 , @ @ @ @ @ to take one for the team , but has yet to report back .
Probably @ @ @ @ @ ’ s .
Other positions came under scrutiny as well .
the tizzy hizzy had @ @ @ @ @

Pics
Sports broadcaster Allan Bell has shared an intimate detail of his bedroom behaviour – nothing smutty, of course.
I'm a No. 9, which are you? (also if anyone says they are a 13 just what are you doing lol) pic.twitter.com/YkDyiKiJLX — Allan Bell (@AllanBell247) January 20, 2020
Position 9 looks reasonable, but he makes a good point about number 13. Has anybody over the age of eighteen months ever slept like that?
Here’s what Twitter thought.
who the fuck is 13 https://t.co/oStuAdL2Ru — dom luszczyszyn (@domluszczyszyn) January 20, 2020
WHOEVER SLEEPS LIKE 13….WE NEED TO HAVE AN INTERVENTION https://t.co/R4dT02Lhr9 — Alex Percy 🦝🐶⚓ (@wavedwhelk) January 21, 2020
who the FUCK is sleeping in position 13? https://t.co/mHvTYhWWay — abi ✨ (@dragonqueer) January 20, 2020
Imagine falling in love with someone then finding out they sleep like no.13 https://t.co/r0NUEV3tGq — Hannah Noonan (@_hannahnoonan21) January 21, 2020
Looks like it’s a no on the number 13, then.
Tweeter JD offered to take one for the team, but has yet to report back. Probably too busy at the chiropractor’s.
im sleeping like 13 tonight and will let you guys know how the experience was in the morning https://t.co/iXrq7lsru3 — JD (@ayeJDaye) January 21, 2020
Other positions came under scrutiny as well.
No. 10 is a homicide victim. — Erik Haslam (@haslametrics) 20 January 2020
#7 looks like Billie Jean is not my lover. — ShawnTidwell (@shawnptidwell) 20 January 2020
Whomever is 15 probably murders people during the day. — Champion Hightower (@DeeksHightower) 20 January 2020
Some people spotted a few omissions.
None of these show a 30lb dog slowly pushing me to the edge of the bed and/or donkey kicking me with his back legs while he dreams and barks in his sleep. — Rhonda Deal (@RJDeal) 20 January 2020
this is missing "laying on my side hugging a pillow and pretending its you".. https://t.co/heU5gT9J1j — dana (@guattari2600) January 21, 2020
Where is the mobile phone? ~ every tweep. https://t.co/sRmurfuxQp — Nikhil (@mrcoffeekhor) January 21, 2020
the tizzy hizzy had a very good question.
how do you know which one you are if you're asleep 😮 https://t.co/R6IVViAYpr — the tizzy hizzy (@seasofstars) January 21, 2020
Source Allan Bell Image Allan Bell


thepoke--2020-01-21--This baby’s face as she has her first taste of ice-cream is hilariously relatable

We ’ ve all had that moment in our lives in which we ’ ve discovered something amazing , such @ @ @ @ @ a hilarious comedy series or unbuckling a belt after an all-you-can-eat buffet .
It ’ @ @ @ @ @ moment to be caught on camera , however , which is what happened when this @ @ @ @ @ first time .
Here are a few of the comments we enjoyed .
Yep this @ @ @ @ @ watch .
That kid got instantly high .
Sugar is the metal drug of all @ @ @ @ @ very much relate .
“ I mean .
You give me a pint of Half @ @ @ @ @ be making the same face and clutch it like Gollum with the Ring as well @ @ @ @ @ almost 40 .
”

Videos
We’ve all had that moment in our lives in which we’ve discovered something amazing, such as a fantastic film, a hilarious comedy series or unbuckling a belt after an all-you-can-eat buffet.
It’s very rare for that moment to be caught on camera, however, which is what happened when this baby tried ice-cream for the first time.
Love at first bite.
Here are a few of the comments we enjoyed.
He’ll be chasing that high for the the rest of his life. Singular_Thought
Yep this is actually pretty insane to watch. That kid got instantly high. Sugar is the metal drug of all. LESSANGRYTHANISOUND
This baby was later spotted at the Salvation Army shooting up pure ice cream into it’s arm. What a fucking tragedy. ExecutiveAlpaca
“ALL OTHER FOOD IS A LIE!” tupacsnoducket
Reddit user Sirnando138 could very much relate.
“I mean. You give me a pint of Half Baked and I’ll be making the same face and clutch it like Gollum with the Ring as well. And I’m almost 40.”
Source Reddit Image Reddit


thepoke--2020-01-21--16 vehicle decals that give off very unfortunate messages (NSFW)

Top tip : when adding slogans or company names to a vehicle , always , ALWAYS factor in how it @ @ @ @ @ when any moving parts , well , move .
It ’ s advice that would @ @ @ @ @ , many of them NSFW .

Pics
Top tip: when adding slogans or company names to a vehicle, always, ALWAYS factor in how it’s going to look when any moving parts, well, move.
It’s advice that would have prevented these little mishaps, many of them NSFW.
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8.


thepoke--2020-01-21--“Every guy needs a “lady drawer” if you plan on having frequent guests” – the 11 funniest reactions

In “ This isn ’ t a joke ” news , a man on Twitter suggested other men should put @ @ @ @ @ womanly things for when they entertain the ladies , and people have been taking the @ @ @ @ @ his own stash , or “ lady drawer ” .
And these were our favourite @ @ @

Twitter
In “This isn’t a joke” news, a man on Twitter suggested other men should put themselves together a stash of womanly things for when they entertain the ladies, and people have been taking the piss.
Here’s his own stash, or “lady drawer”.
I feel like every guy needs a “lady drawer” if you plan on having frequent guests. pic.twitter.com/wgjExZOlIt — BassFather (@DaddyAllDay) January 11, 2020
And these were our favourite funny reactions.
1.
i'm obsessed with the concept of a communal dildo for house guests, but also, what woman needs TWO BOTTLES of nail polish remover for an overnight stay? Is she refurbishing a dining room table? https://t.co/caOgnSnRIs — Hannah Lee Kidder (@HannahLeeKidder) January 14, 2020
2.
I feel like every guy needs a "lady drawer" if you plan on having frequent guests. https://t.co/PdUzFINYbJ pic.twitter.com/mr9IihvUIy — Stu. (@dysondoc) January 17, 2020
3.
im confused is this why i dont have a girlfriend? https://t.co/MGPcXXm84U pic.twitter.com/fxAf2Tr4KS — mjopa (@_mattparkin) January 15, 2020
4.
lol while I like the idea of providing some feminine essentials for friends/people you're dating/whatever I don't think there's a woman I have ever dated in my entire life who wouldn't open this drawer and go "AND WHOOO THE FUCK DOES THIS BELONG TO" 😂 https://t.co/KWTpdBLnph — Kno (@Kno) January 14, 2020
5.
I feel like every guy needs a “lady drawer” if you plan on having frequent guests pic.twitter.com/W3b1S3rP2M — teddy v 2.0 (@teddyvalenzuela) January 15, 2020
6.


thepoke--2020-01-21--The only 6 reactions you need to the Brexit Party MEP’s Brexit lightbulb moment

The UK ’ s MEPs are currently winding down their involvement with the European Parliament ahead of Brexit , which @ @ @ @ @ One Brexit Party MEP took to Twitter with a concern about the future .
Isn @ @ @ @ @ or something ?
Anyway , these six reactions summed up Twitter ’ s collective exasperation @ @ @

Twitter
The UK’s MEPs are currently winding down their involvement with the European Parliament ahead of Brexit, which is merely days away. One Brexit Party MEP took to Twitter with a concern about the future.
Attending the penultimate session of the #EuropeanParliament’s #FisheriesCommittee #PECHcommittee) with #BritishMEPs. The big question now is, who will be here to hold these people to account while they still control Britain’s waters, but the UK has no representation? pic.twitter.com/5gB2fKHYu9 — June Mummery (@june_mummery) January 20, 2020
via Gfycat
Isn’t that Project Fear or something? Anyway, these six reactions summed up Twitter’s collective exasperation quite perfectly.
1.
Another classic of the “Brexiter shocked to learn what Brexit involves” genre https://t.co/XutBhdQIKF — James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 20, 2020
2.
The exact moment a Brexit Party MEP discovers that Brexit means Brexit.#Priceless https://t.co/DKMh4Afykz — Matthias Eberl 🇪🇺 (@eberlmat) January 20, 2020
3.
Brexit Party: “Let’s take back control from the EU by giving control to the EU and oh…” https://t.co/hv9IJLqgPI — David Schneider (@davidschneider) January 20, 2020
4.
An absolutely mind boggling tweet. June Mummery Brexit Party MEP saying what people like myself have been saying since the beginning of this farce. We are surrendering power. https://t.co/V2AERM81wL — Otto English (@Otto_English) January 20, 2020
5.
THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT YOU VOTED FOR — Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) 20 January 2020
6.
A couple of weeks before Brexit, this @brexitparty_uk MEP complains that the UK will no longer have representation in the EU Parliament. It would be funny if it wasn't so tragic. https://t.co/ycWCSduoku — David Lammy (@DavidLammy) January 20, 2020
Creative manager Joe Richards had this analogy.
Like a turkey who voted for Christmas complaining that the oven is actually too hot for their liking — Joe Richards (@VistaCalista) 20 January 2020
Source June Mummery Image @internetztube and @hookie1001 on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-01-21--This takedown of the guy insisting there are ‘no go zones’ in London is an arresting delight

A leading candidate for takedown of the week is this exchange shared on Twitter by @ artimusfoul who says : @ @ @ @ @ want to quit Twitter something joyous like this happens.
’ If only life was always @ @ @ @ @ Simply 23 of the funniest and most ferocious comebacks of the year

Twitter
A leading candidate for takedown of the week is this exchange shared on Twitter by @artimusfoul who says: ‘Every time I think want to quit Twitter something joyous like this happens.’
If only life was always as satisfying as this.
Boom!
"Hello, I'd like to report a murder" — Dan Kaszeta (@DanKaszeta) January 21, 2020
Well you're in the right place. — ’ (@artimusfoul) January 21, 2020
READ MORE
Simply 23 of the funniest and most ferocious comebacks of the year
Source Twitter @artimusfoul


thepoke--2020-01-21--How this ‘book murderer’ makes long novels more portable united the internet in horror

People tend to prefer paperbacks to hardbacks because not only are they cheaper , they ’ re easier to carry @ @ @ @ @ about .
Really , really thick paperbacks can still be a bit of a pain @ @ @ @ @ ’ d never , ever thought about doing this .
And it turns out no-one @ @ @ @ @ , apart from this person .
And basically the entire internet screamed back : ‘ @ @ @ @ @ !
’ But just in case you ’ re thinking it can ’ t surely @ @ @ @ @ ’ s not quite true .
To be fair , not everyone thought it was @ @ @ @ @ thread about working in a library went viral because it ’ s funny , passionate @ @ @ @ @

Pics
People tend to prefer paperbacks to hardbacks because not only are they cheaper, they’re easier to carry when you are out and about.
Really, really thick paperbacks can still be a bit of a pain to lug around but we’d never, ever thought about doing this.
And it turns out no-one else had either. Well, apart from this person.
Yesterday my colleague called me a 'book murderer' because I cut long books in half to make them more portable. Does anyone else do this? Is it just me? pic.twitter.com/VQUUdJMpwT — Alex Christofi (@alex_christofi) January 21, 2020
And basically the entire internet screamed back: ‘It’s just you!’
@sorobotic I would like to report a crime. — Gary Doyle (@thegarydoyle) January 21, 2020
Did it once many years ago when travelling with partner and only had one book between us. Still suffering from PTSD. — Ivan Pope (@ivan007) January 21, 2020
I do the same with really long dvds! https://t.co/neubIymvjQ pic.twitter.com/s6mHgrKdlZ — PJ Holden (@pauljholden) January 21, 2020
I dog-ear pages, underline bits, write notes, drop sauce on them and take them in the bath. But you, madam, need to get in the bin — Harriet Marsden (@harriet1marsden) January 21, 2020
It's a novel approach. https://t.co/aN0g5aBof1 — The Bodleian Libraries (@bodleianlibs) January 21, 2020
Have you considered cutting horizontally so you only read one half of each page? Fill in the rest with your imagination. Give the other half to your other half and afterwards discuss the book to see how your impressions were the same or different. — ptermx (@ptermx) January 21, 2020
i am choosing to get irrationally mad about this today https://t.co/wqUch22C2i — Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) January 21, 2020
I cannot even look at that — Alessandra Asteriti (@AlessandraAster) January 21, 2020
Just buy a kindle mate — Kat 🏳🌈 (@Kat_Says_Stuff) January 21, 2020
But just in case you’re thinking it can’t surely get any worse, that’s not quite true.
Lord Chesterfield, in the 18th century, used to read Latin poetry on the toilet then rip out the finished page to use as bog roll — Greg Jenner (@greg_jenner) January 21, 2020
To be fair, not everyone thought it was a bad idea.
https://twitter.com/losabrazosrotos/status/1219605430017486848
Just all right-thinking people.
this is terrorism. — hend amry (@LibyaLiberty) January 21, 2020
If you want someone to gift you an ebook reader, there are better ways to do it. https://t.co/UPwT9bTeoi — Kevin Sebastian (@NoxVoyager) January 21, 2020
READ MORE
This thread about working in a library went viral because it’s funny, passionate, angry and utterly lovely
Source Twitter @alex_christofi


thepoke--2020-01-21--People over 30 are sharing the cliches about growing older that they didn’t believe and turned out t

People over 30 are sharing the cliches about growing older that they didn’t believe and turned out to be true

One of the downsides of being young is that it can occasionally feel as though the world is full of @ @ @ @ @ until you get old !
’ and telling you exactly how you ’ re going @ @ @ @ @ , say , 30 .
And most of the tie you simply don ’ t @ @ @ @ @ lot of the things you ’ re told turn out to be true , so @ @ @ @ @ was this that prompted @ exfatalist to ask this on Twitter .
And it ’ @ @ @ @ @ garnered a response .
A big response .
And here are 23 favourites that rung @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
One of the downsides of being young is that it can occasionally feel as though the world is full of people telling you ‘wait until you get old!’ and telling you exactly how you’re going to feel when you hit, say, 30.
And most of the tie you simply don’t believe them. Except a lot of the things you’re told turn out to be true, so very true, and it was this that prompted @exfatalist to ask this on Twitter.
Hey, Over 30 Twitter, what was something about aging you always thought was a trope but turned out to be true? I'll go first: random backaches for simply *existing* after three decades of suboptimal posture. — ᴍʀꜱ ᴍᴏᴛʜᴍᴀɴ ɪɴ ᴄʀʏᴘᴛɪᴅ qᴜᴀʀᴀɴᴛɪɴᴇ (@exfatalist) January 12, 2020
(Yes, I know, 30 is only old according to kids and marketing campaigns.) — » dr mrs the mothman » 🔌🔋 (@exfatalist) January 12, 2020
And it’s fair to say she garnered a response. A big response. And here are 23 favourites that rung most true with us.
1.
Waking up way too early and just … being awake for the day because you can’t fall back asleep. What even is that. — FuzzBeed Eli (@FuzzBeedEli) January 13, 2020
2.
Not being able to bounce back after doing something less than healthy. Me at 16: *eat two whole cheesesteaks and most of the fries for lunch, feel normal by dinner* Me at 32: *eat a cheesesteak and some fries for lunch, dead by 3pm* — Becoming The Bone Pharoah in 2020 (@kaldrenon) January 12, 2020
3.
Actually worrying you might die when you get a minor injury/illness. Me, 24, with H1N1: WHATEVER I’M GONNA TAKE A LONG LUNCH TO HIT THE DOCTOR AFTER 3 WEEKS THEN BACK TO BUSINESS. Me, 35, tripping in my own home: I wonder how long it will take for someone to find my body. — 🐍 strong independent acid snake 🐍 (@poodlesprings) January 12, 2020
4.
I was ready for grey hairs I was ready for nose hair The first grey nose hair made me sit in the corner and rock back and forth for like ten minutes — David Mowatt (@ducklingsmith) January 13, 2020
5.
Feeling like the decade of your teens was only ten years ago, when it’s actually 30. 😳😳😳 — ♫ Jen ♫ (@jenrjones) January 13, 2020
6.
Sitting on the floor for more than 10 seconds will leave you immobilized for 10 hours. — Bret Webb (@dr_bw) January 13, 2020
7.
As a kid I thought it was crazy my dad didn’t automatically know his age. Now I have to do complex mathematics across a century every time someone asks me how old I am. — Beth Mentink (@mentink21) January 13, 2020
8.
I was sleeping, why does my body hurt? — Seth Needs a New Display Name (@ProfChestnut) January 12, 2020
9.
“I made dinner reservations for 5pm.” “The party doesn’t start until 9? Uh…sorry, can’t make it that day.” — Lord Omelet Toes (@TheBarbarienne) January 13, 2020
10.
– Getting mad when the grocery store rearranges their layout. – Getting excited over new cleaning tools/gadgets. – Turning down the volume on the car radio when I need to see where I’m going. — Steam-Powered Giraffe (@lilithine) January 13, 2020
11.
I remember being told “enjoy the clubs now because one day you won’t want to leave the house after 10pm”
Me (at 25) That’s lame! I’ll never stay in watching tv
Me (at 40) Netflix! Hulu! DVR! I’m staying up til 3am still, but I’m in my pjs with a hot chocolate — Ball of Coffee (@SnarkyCoffeeMom) January 13, 2020
12.


thepoke--2020-01-22--These plants come free but this woman’s fury that they’re not also delivered to her door is somethin

These plants come free but this woman’s fury that they’re not also delivered to her door is something to behold

In today ’ s episode of people wanting something not just for free but delivered direct to their door – @ @ @ @ @ is this .
Starting early this year with those people who want free plants and @ @ @ @ @ ’ writes Grommulox over on Reddit .
And these 3 responses pretty much sum it @ @ @ @ @ a mile ?
What with no Sherpas to guide you ?
It ’ s mid @ @ @ @ @ Earth are we expected to prepare for such an expedition as soon as April ?
@ @ @ @ @ mind !
’ runerroad ‘ If they can ’ t handle the walk what makes @ @ @ @ @ be able to keep up with the garden work ?
Or are they expecting you @ @ @ @ @ garden to come down and take care of them daily since they ’ re from @ @ @ @ @ A cheeky woman resorted to insults when someone wouldn ’ t lend her a dress

Pics
In today’s episode of people wanting something not just for free but delivered direct to their door – for free, obviously – is this.
‘Starting early this year with those people who want free plants and are also COMPLETELY INSANE,’ writes Grommulox over on Reddit.
And these 3 responses pretty much sum it up.
‘A bag? How dare you … ‘ vegini ‘0.8 of a mile? What with no Sherpas to guide you? It’s mid January now, how on Earth are we expected to prepare for such an expedition as soon as April? Are you out of your mind!’ runerroad ‘If they can’t handle the walk what makes them think they’ll be able to keep up with the garden work? Or are they expecting you people down at the community garden to come down and take care of them daily since they’re from your garden anyway.’ Fawlty_Towers
READ MORE
A cheeky woman resorted to insults when someone wouldn’t lend her a dress
Source Reddit u/Grommulox Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-01-22--The Honest Trailers review of Joker is every bit as brutal as you’d expect

If you haven ’ t seen Joker , want to , and care about spoilers – woah there !
There @ @ @ @ @ them in Screen Junkies ’ Honest Trailer of the record-breaking film .
They don ’ @ @ @ @ @ there are both laughs and depressingly true observations in this 6 minutes and 22 seconds @ @ @ @ @ up … “ Do you feel some kind of way about society ?
This movie @ @ @ @ @ is going to be in close-up and bold – just in case you missed it.
@ @ @ @ @ reactions from YouTube users .
All the fears they had about violence during this movie @ @ @ @ @ instead it was Frozen 2 where there was a knife brawl and stabbing during a @ @ @ @ @ to roast your favourite film , head on over and ask them .
The Honest @ @ @ @ @ 2 hilariously says everything you ’ ve already thought

Videos
If you haven’t seen Joker, want to, and care about spoilers – woah there! There are one or two of them in Screen Junkies’ Honest Trailer of the record-breaking film.
They don’t pull their punches and there are both laughs and depressingly true observations in this 6 minutes and 22 seconds of pillory. Step right up …
“Dude looks like he’s about to ask you to do his podcast.”
“Do you feel some kind of way about society? This movie does, and the message is going to be in close-up and bold – just in case you missed it.”
Here are a few reactions from YouTube users.
All the fears they had about violence during this movie’s screenings, and instead it was Frozen 2 where there was a knife brawl and stabbing during a showing… Joseph Fernando
“Instead of writing damaged on his forehead, he just damaged his forehead”
They say show don’t tell… blacksage
“These guys know all the words to ‘Send in the Clowns’? A lot of late night Sondheim sessions with the boys?” LOL Tulpen23
If you want them to roast your favourite film, head on over and ask them.
READ MORE
The Honest Trailer for IT: Chapter 2 hilariously says everything you’ve already thought
Source Screen Junkies Image Screen Junkies


thepoke--2020-01-22--The takedown of this so-called dad’s multiple identities is very satisfyingly done

Hard to believe we know , but there was someone on the internet who was pretending to be something they @ @ @ @ @ mention this one because the takedown was so nicely done .

Pics
Hard to believe we know, but there was someone on the internet who was pretending to be something they weren’t.
We mention this one because the takedown was so nicely done.
READ MORE
This guy’s takedown of his fellow contestant is an all-time great quiz show roast
Source Reddit u/TestSubject99909 Image Pexels


thepoke--2020-01-22--This man discovered his late mother’s NSFW Kindle reading list and now he wishes he hadn’t

A salutary lesson for us all here .
If you don ’ t want your loved ones to discover what you ’ ve been enjoying on Kindle then make sure you delete after reading .
And if you don ’ t want to find out what your loved ones were enjoying on Kindle without telling you , well , don ’ t open it .
The story was shared by commander_reload on Reddit and we think you ’ ll enjoy it .
Not as much as his mum enjoyed her Kindle though , by all accounts .
As some people @ @ @ @ @ @ @ American Life piece on just such a thing happening ( ‘ Next of Kindle ’ – very good ) .
Back to commander_reload who said he was ‘ thinking of tracking this guy down and starting a support group ’ .
‘ That is not me – today is the first day I ’ ve heard of that site , in fact .
I ’ ll grant our stories are similar , although this was direct on my mother ’ s Kindle and not via a shared account .
‘ I am also @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , which is why this evokes a level of cringe beyond what you might normally expect .
We – and certainly folk of that generation – do not discuss sex , as a rule .
‘ Lastly , I fully appreciate that yes , my mother had sex like any other person .
It ’ s more the somewhat unusual choice of… “ content consumption ” at her advanced age which was slightly eyebrow raising .
Still , if it got her pulse racing , good for her.
’ And as RockyDify pointed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s the beauty of a Kindle .
She was probably reading this in front of you at some point in time .
’

Pics
A salutary lesson for us all here. If you don’t want your loved ones to discover what you’ve been enjoying on Kindle then make sure you delete after reading.
And if you don’t want to find out what your loved ones were enjoying on Kindle without telling you, well, don’t open it.
The story was shared by commander_reload on Reddit and we think you’ll enjoy it. Not as much as his mum enjoyed her Kindle though, by all accounts.
As some people pointed out, there was a This American Life piece on just such a thing happening (‘Next of Kindle’ – very good).
Back to commander_reload who said he was ‘thinking of tracking this guy down and starting a support group’.
‘That is not me – today is the first day I’ve heard of that site, in fact. I’ll grant our stories are similar, although this was direct on my mother’s Kindle and not via a shared account. ‘I am also British like the chap in the story, which is why this evokes a level of cringe beyond what you might normally expect. We – and certainly folk of that generation – do not discuss sex, as a rule. ‘Lastly, I fully appreciate that yes, my mother had sex like any other person. It’s more the somewhat unusual choice of… “content consumption” at her advanced age which was slightly eyebrow raising. Still, if it got her pulse racing, good for her.’
And as RockyDify pointed out in the comments: ‘That’s the beauty of a Kindle. She was probably reading this in front of you at some point in time.’
Now that’s a thought …
Source Reddit u/commander_reload Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-01-22--A cheeky woman resorted to insults when someone wouldn’t lend her a dress

There are plenty of times when good friends might share , gift or swap outfits , and that ’ s a great way for people to expand their wardrobes cost-free , but when this woman tried to get access to someone ’ s clothes , it started badly and went downhill .
The request sounded reasonable enough – at the very beginning .
It ’ s a well-known tactic to call someone rude before asking for something different – probably has a hundred per cent success rate .
Some people just can ’ t take a hint .
That woman @ @ @ @ @ @ @ We can only hope foul-mouthed Cinderella ended up swerving the party due to having nothing to wear .
When u/TheBreakUp2013 shared his wife ’ s screenshots , people were incensed on her behalf .
Does this ever work ?
Are there people who get abused like this and relent ?
Not only would I not lend this twat a pencil much less a dress , but I would no longer consider us on speaking terms or friends at any level after one conversation like this .
Definitely NOT her friend in any way @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a formal dress at Ross for 8.99 this Sunday .
She needs to buy her own stuff !
One person had another wedding-related story , featuring similar levels of shamelessness .
It seems wedding-related things bring the shameless scroungers out of the woodwork .
This reminds me of my friend ’ s wedding a few years back .
She took a break from the reception to go downstairs and eat something with her new husband and I went down too to see if they needed anything .
Shortly after we get down there @ @ @ @ @ @ @ show up and tell the bride how beautiful she is in her wedding dress .
Then they tell us about their upcoming wedding .
THEN they ask if they could borrow her wedding dress for their wedding , which I don ’ t believe she was even invited to

Weird World
There are plenty of times when good friends might share, gift or swap outfits, and that’s a great way for people to expand their wardrobes cost-free, but when this woman tried to get access to someone’s clothes, it started badly and went downhill.
The request sounded reasonable enough – at the very beginning.
It’s a well-known tactic to call someone rude before asking for something different – probably has a hundred per cent success rate.
Some people just can’t take a hint.
That woman has the patience of a saint. We can only hope foul-mouthed Cinderella ended up swerving the party due to having nothing to wear.
When u/TheBreakUp2013 shared his wife’s screenshots, people were incensed on her behalf.
Does this ever work? Are there people who get abused like this and relent? Not only would I not lend this twat a pencil much less a dress, but I would no longer consider us on speaking terms or friends at any level after one conversation like this. AmbulanceDriver3
I wanted her to reply to the “Are u saying I’m fat” like YES YES YOU ARE PineapleJ
Definitely NOT her friend in any way, shape or form. I found a formal dress at Ross for 8.99 this Sunday. She needs to buy her own stuff! One person had another wedding-related story, featuring similar levels of shamelessness. gg-black
You might want to keep your suitcase locked. calminthedesert
“Yes. Yes you’re a fat land whale and after you calling me a c word I’m not lending you a darn thing and I’m sending all the screenshots to the bride and asking for her advice” cyborgurl
It seems wedding-related things bring the shameless scroungers out of the woodwork.
This reminds me of my friend’s wedding a few years back. She took a break from the reception to go downstairs and eat something with her new husband and I went down too to see if they needed anything. Shortly after we get down there, a former coworker and his fiancee show up and tell the bride how beautiful she is in her wedding dress. Then they tell us about their upcoming wedding. THEN they ask if they could borrow her wedding dress for their wedding, which I don’t believe she was even invited to
Source r/choosingbeggars Image r/choosingbeggars, @zorianast on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-01-22--This woman said this restaurant short-changed her but she really didn’t think it through

Leading contender for self-own of the week is this woman who really wasn ’ t happy when she paid in cash at a restaurant and they short-changed her .
Outrageous !
Except , as no end of people were only too happy to point out , she really didn ’ t think this one through .
She may have been short-changed , except in another department entirely .
‘ It ’ s the principle though , ’ said beemovie-bestmovie who shared it on Reddit .
DiscoKittie : ‘ I recently had a woman be overly super amazed about my change @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , she gave me a ten , her change was 0.95 .
That ’ s three quarters and two dimes .
I got them out of the drawer so fast that she just blinked at me .
“ How did you do that so fast ?
” she exclaimed .
“ I.. uh… ” I responded .
“ Is there a little change dispenser thing ?
How did you count it so fast ?
?
” She was seriously confused .
I had no idea how to react to that .
When you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ long time , you don ’ t think in terms of counting , really .
It ’ s more like building blocks of change .
You know ?
’ ambitiousoxygen : ‘ As a cashier , I always used to get excited to give $ .41 in change because it was one of each coin .
It ’ s the little things.
’ ‘ Am I the asshole for pretending to get fired when customers get a temper with me ?
’

Pics
Leading contender for self-own of the week is this woman who really wasn’t happy when she paid in cash at a restaurant and they short-changed her. Outrageous!
Except, as no end of people were only too happy to point out, she really didn’t think this one through.
She may have been short-changed, except in another department entirely.
‘It’s the principle though,’ said beemovie-bestmovie who shared it on Reddit.
DiscoKittie: ‘I recently had a woman be overly super amazed about my change giving abilities. Her total was 9.05, she gave me a ten, her change was 0.95. That’s three quarters and two dimes. I got them out of the drawer so fast that she just blinked at me. “How did you do that so fast?” she exclaimed. “I.. uh…” I responded. “Is there a little change dispenser thing? How did you count it so fast??” She was seriously confused. I had no idea how to react to that. When you’ve been a cashier for a long time, you don’t think in terms of counting, really. It’s more like building blocks of change. You know?’ ambitiousoxygen: ‘As a cashier, I always used to get excited to give $.41 in change because it was one of each coin. It’s the little things.’
READ MORE
‘Am I the asshole for pretending to get fired when customers get a temper with me?’
Source Reddit u/beemovie-bestmovie


thepoke--2020-01-22--Greg James was appalled this BBC canteen missed the obvious pun and the internet was there for him

Spare a thought for Radio 1 breakfast DJ Greg James who was going about minding his own business when he @ @ @ @ @ restaurant and his day was totally ruined .
There ’ s no coming bap from @ @ @ @ @ for Greg was that the internet was there to ease his pain , just a @ @ @ @ @ ’ s ‘ daffodils ’ joke was made so much funnier when M & S @ @ @ @ @

Pics
Spare a thought for Radio 1 breakfast DJ Greg James who was going about minding his own business when he saw this at a BBC restaurant and his day was totally ruined.
This ruined my day. BAP TO THE FUTURE was there for the taking. I’ll never get over it. pic.twitter.com/MpUjCVvL6x — Greg James (@gregjames) January 21, 2020
There’s no coming bap from that. The better news for Greg was that the internet was there to ease his pain, just a little bit.
Is this why Lord Hall resigned? — Huw Stephens (@huwstephens) 21 January 2020
Wouldn’t surprise me. I’m thinking about it tbh — Greg James (@gregjames) 21 January 2020
They may as well have written "Back To Bap Future" — Sam from 101 Facts (@101Facts1) 21 January 2020
Even bap baba bap bap is better is better tbf — Greg James (@gregjames) 21 January 2020
And people shared similar instances of missed open goals.
Much like when Itsu completely passed up the opportunity for ‘All I Want For Christmas Itsu’ for this monstrosity… pic.twitter.com/FDguhyUH4h — Pierce William (@PierceIgnatius) 21 January 2020
Theres missed opportunities, and then there's this guy. pic.twitter.com/Dy8pzlN1kn — Will Monk (@keese09) 21 January 2020
Tunnell vision. Got there in the end. — Robert Lawson (@bobbiedaddie) 21 January 2020
It’s like this monstrosity! Why not ‘IMMUNI-TEA’ ??? Not only was I unwell, I had my spirits further dampened by this marketing missed opportunity!!! 😭 pic.twitter.com/5igXvF1OBC — Emily Page (@EmilyPage2) 21 January 2020
READ MORE
Greg James’s ‘daffodils’ joke was made so much funnier when M&S didn’t get it


thepoke--2020-01-22--This reporter is going viral all over again for his hilarious reaction to swallowing a fly

Reporters have a rough time .
They ’ re out in all weathers , putting up with members of the @ @ @ @ @ hour upon hour of boredom , all while maintaining a professional air .
Apart from @ @ @ @ @ went in Isiah Carey ’ s mouth must have been pretty disgusting to rip off @ @ @ @ @ .
Although the clip is pretty old , it ’ s been reaching a new @ @ @ @ @ their favourite classic clips .
Here ’ s how people have been reacting .
Even @ @ @ @ @ poor guy ’ s tribulations , it has a special place in their hearts .
@ @ @ @ @ the man ’ s reaction .

Videos
Reporters have a rough time. They’re out in all weathers, putting up with members of the public, dangerous animals and hour upon hour of boredom, all while maintaining a professional air.
Apart from when this happens …
Whatever went in Isiah Carey’s mouth must have been pretty disgusting to rip off the professional mask like that. Although the clip is pretty old, it’s been reaching a new audience since Redditors started posting their favourite classic clips.
Here’s how people have been reacting.
This made me laugh so hard. What a great part of my day. TreeSeer6
This brought me great pain to watch… FoshWoW
Even for those familiar with the poor guy’s tribulations, it has a special place in their hearts.
Whenever anything goes slightly wrong “I’m dying out here in this country ass fucked up town!” near daily. Mess up parallel parking? “IM DYING OUT HERE” draaaain_gaaaaang
My friends and I literally say “Da FUCK is dat” any time someone coughs or swallows something by accident. This video is too dang funny. RetroJake
WeLiveInaBubble had another take on the man’s reaction.
It’s so weird to me how much people dislike country life. I’d rather have an insect fly into my face that suck in the fumes of a thousand cars every day.
Easy, Renfield.
Source Reddit Image YouTube


thepoke--2020-01-22--John Barnes called out Piers Morgan over his racist Chinese impression

Nobody would ever accuse Piers Morgan of being too politically correct , but on Tuesday ’ s Good Morning Britain @ @ @ @ @ an item about the Queen ’ s grandson making a milk advert in China with @ @ @ @ @ Barnes spotted the unfortunate moment , and this is how he reacted .
Morgan tried @ @ @ @ @ claiming the Chinese weren ’ t the target of his mockery .
John Barnes picked @ @ @ @ @ one .
The incident divided Twitter , with some on John Barnes ’ side … @ @ @ @ @ Shankly Wilson had this assessment of the situation .
In case you were curious , @ @ @ @ @ ad in full .
Piers Morgan trolled Dan Walker ’ s Boris Johnson interview and @ @ @ @ @ perfect response Source ITV Image ITV

Twitter
Nobody would ever accuse Piers Morgan of being too politically correct, but on Tuesday’s Good Morning Britain, he chose to illustrate an item about the Queen’s grandson making a milk advert in China with a shocking impression.
Here’s what happened.
John Barnes spotted the unfortunate moment, and this is how he reacted.
Just saw @piersmorgan on GMB mocking Chinese people on the way they speak, what are the odds he faces no criticism for it… there’s an example for Laurence Fox of white privilege — John Barnes (@officialbarnesy) January 21, 2020
Morgan tried to defend his behaviour, claiming the Chinese weren’t the target of his mockery.
I was mocking a member of the British royal family appearing in an advert for Chinese state milk, not Chinese people. https://t.co/IO5TEXUYmf — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) January 21, 2020
John Barnes picked a big hole in that one.
Understandable if you were simply doing an impression of Peter… not saying ‘ching chang jom’ and mocking the narrator … as Susanna tried to point out was ‘very 1970s’ https://t.co/cRgEcu0BJF — John Barnes (@officialbarnesy) January 21, 2020
The incident divided Twitter, with some on John Barnes’ side …
Piers Morgan, as a British Chinese, you did not try mimicking Chinese, what you did is pure racist mockery and you did it repeatedly and then justified it. Literally millions of diaspora Chinese have experienced your shit in their lifes. It was not even funny, you twat. @ofcom https://t.co/SqZVMpEAyA — Kin F. Kam 金建輝 #FBPE (@DrKinKam) January 22, 2020
Racism confirmed. Peter Philips spoke perfectly clear chinese, good on him. You was just being a racist idiot to the chinese, which is a common occurrence. Fact is, no other language would've been mocked this way by you, give that a thought #GMB #PiersMorgan https://t.co/5ob9Yupi0A — VS (@ryonakata) January 21, 2020
The media always get away with it. Bringing in people's races and ethnicity. Definitely white privilege but they are oblivious and thing it doesn't exist. — Shyam Mehta (@ShyamMehta08) 21 January 2020
and some not.
Piers Morgan mimics Lorraine Kelly's voice and Scottish accent all the time. Nobody says a word. Trying to copy a Chinese accent is no different. We live in a world of virtue signallers and easily offended snowflakes…. — COYSpurs (@makkathfc) 21 January 2020
Does a single minute go by in this country without an accusation of racism?! — Peter Joyes (@peterjoyes) 21 January 2020
Matthew Shankly Wilson had this assessment of the situation.
John Barnes is getting a kick in from people with Union flags in their Twitter names for highlighting racism on TV. I remember seeing John getting bananas routinely thrown at him in the 80's. I think he knows racism when he sees it. — Matthew Shankly Wilson 🏴🇪🇺 (@fuseeventsMatt) 21 January 2020
In case you were curious, here’s the milk ad in full.
READ MORE
Piers Morgan trolled Dan Walker’s Boris Johnson interview and the BBC man had the perfect response
Source ITV Image ITV


thepoke--2020-01-22--The perspective in these 18 images will make you question your own eyes

We ’ ve all had that double-take moment when our brains need a second look to register what ’ s @ @ @ @ @ what seems to be going on .
These images are from Reddit ’ s Confusing @ @ @ @ @ ’ re not kidding , because they ’ re all very confusing at first glance @ @ @ @ @ s no lake , no river , no water at all … 5 .
Somebody @ @ @ @ @ leg day 6 .
His hand may be massive but his nails are beautiful 7 @ @ @ @ @ – he wants his cat back

Pics
We’ve all had that double-take moment when our brains need a second look to register what’s going on, rather than what seems to be going on.
These images are from Reddit’s Confusing Perspectives forum, and they’re not kidding, because they’re all very confusing at first glance.
1. A sleepy guy in a hoodie
Via
2. Just a regular dog
Via
3. UFO? No, SUV
Via
4. There’s no lake, no river, no water at all …
Via
5. Somebody went a bit mad on leg day
Via
6. His hand may be massive but his nails are beautiful
Via
7. M.C. Escher called – he wants his cat back
Via
8. Invisibility cloaks are real
Via
9. Somebody call a vet
Via


thepoke--2020-01-22--How do you report a mouse in your hotel room if you don’t know the English word? Like this

When you book a hotel room , there ’ s no box to tick for optional extra mouse , so @ @ @ @ @ be one in there with you .
When one man found there was , he @ @ @ @ @ the hotel reception , but he didn ’ t know the English word for “ @ @ @ @ @ his ingenious way of getting his message across .
The international language of Tom and @ @ @ @ @ have thought it ?
That ’ s a a lot more fun than Google Translate @

Videos
When you book a hotel room, there’s no box to tick for optional extra mouse, so there definitely shouldn’t be one in there with you.
When one man found there was, he had to report it to the hotel reception, but he didn’t know the English word for “mouse”.
Listen to his ingenious way of getting his message across.
The international language of Tom and Jerry. Who’d have thought it? That’s a a lot more fun than Google Translate.
Source “YouTube Image @jpvalery on Unsplash, Alexas Fotos on Pexels


thepoke--2020-01-22--People weren’t happy with the BBC’s Tradwife report – the 12 best reactions

If you ’ ve ever seen The Stepford Wives , you ’ ll have some sense of the ideals of @ @ @ @ @ take up what they claim to be the traditional role of women , as mothers @ @ @ @ @ agenda not only pushes the idea that a woman ’ s place is in the @ @ @ @ @ wives to obey their husbands , leaving the men to make the decisions .
Incredibly @ @ @ @ @ this lifestyle are women , like this Alena Kate Pettitt , featured on BBC ’ @ @ @ @ @ of people pointed out that the described arrangements don ’ t represent many people ’ @ @ @ @ @ household .
That wasn ’ t the only problem people had with it ; there @ @ @ @ @ of it being inextricably linked to the far-right , something dismissed as a misconception by @ @ @ @ @ Talkback clip .

Twitter
If you’ve ever seen The Stepford Wives, you’ll have some sense of the ideals of a movement encouraging women to take up what they claim to be the traditional role of women, as mothers and homemakers.
The Tradwife agenda not only pushes the idea that a woman’s place is in the kitchen, but also requires wives to obey their husbands, leaving the men to make the decisions.
Incredibly, many of those espousing this lifestyle are women, like this Alena Kate Pettitt, featured on BBC’s Talkback.
We'll introduce you to a #tradwife, a young woman who has chosen to be a traditional wife, staying at home to take care of the household chores while her husband works, and she is fine with submitting to her husband as he makes the key decisions in their lives. pic.twitter.com/4kbviYulcD — BBC Talkback (@BBCTalkback) January 21, 2020
A lot of people pointed out that the described arrangements don’t represent many people’s experience of a traditional household.
The whole traditional wife thing was only a reality for a narrow middle class group. The vast majority of woman worked. The work just wasn't valued.
BBC News – ‘Submitting to my husband like it's 1959': Why I became a #TradWife https://t.co/vQbu7CbFXy — Tony Macklin (@MacklinTony) January 17, 2020
What is traditional about this? For the overwhelmingly majority of history women have contributed to the family income through farming etc. This family model is relatively modern and was only ever for some — Treasa (@Treasa5555) 21 January 2020
That wasn’t the only problem people had with it; there was also the small matter of it being inextricably linked to the far-right, something dismissed as a misconception by the BBC in the six-minute Talkback clip.
1.
Fascism always creates and extols traditional roles for women. And right on schedule BBC promoting it. https://t.co/FLWeub4Tzq — Loreli (@LoreleiLiBan) January 21, 2020
2.
3.
"submitting"?
"submitting"?
Fucking "sub-fucking-mitting"?
If this is true (& not just the headline writer) I pity her daughters and the female partners of her children. https://t.co/M12zgmInyg — KS (@ks_1968) January 21, 2020
4.
Next on the BBC, we'll introduce you to Dolph, who will explain why he believes in what he calls the "master race". You'll never guess what his name is short for! https://t.co/Brs6bPGy38 — katie is back and still supports trans rights mfs (@supermathskid) January 21, 2020
5.
Hey girls, stay at home, look for a good husband and look after him Forget about feminine empowerment, you don't have to work on it
In fact, you don't have to work at all! This is a great Tory idea for making unemployment disappear #Surreal #BBCPropaganda https://t.co/s6yiKMMUZa — Pilar Fernandez (@pilaraymara) January 21, 2020
6.


thepoke--2020-01-23--His wife’s sad shake of the head at the end is sheer perfection

Everyone ’ s got hobbies , and this chap ’ s pastime involves doing this with a vacuum cleaner .
@ @ @ @ @ for that though .
We ’ re here for the reaction of his wife – @ @ @ @ @ ’ s his wife – which really is 10/10 .
The look on her face @ @ @ @ @ face .
The tube going all floppy .
Sheer perfection .
This guy spent a @ @ @ @ @ and turned it into a glorious 2 minute video

Videos
Everyone’s got hobbies, and this chap’s pastime involves doing this with a vacuum cleaner.
We’re not here for that though. We’re here for the reaction of his wife – we’re guessing it’s his wife – which really is 10/10.
The look on her face. The look on his face. The tube going all floppy. Sheer perfection.
READ MORE
This guy spent a year scaring his best friend and turned it into a glorious 2 minute video
Source Reddit u/Spray1229


thepoke--2020-01-23--Takedown of the week

Takedown of the week

If you ’ ve not come across this this person called Alexander JA Cortes , well , trust us , @ @ @ @ @ thing , and there ’ s no need to come across him again .
We @ @ @ @ @ said this about women who dye their hair – and the rather marvellous response which @ @ @ @ @ , and very possibly any week .
People love the takedown of sexist men in @ @ @ @ @ textbook

Twitter
If you’ve not come across this this person called Alexander JA Cortes, well, trust us, that’s a good thing, and there’s no need to come across him again.
We only mention him after he said this about women who dye their hair – and the rather marvellous response.
Boom!
READ MORE
People love the takedown of sexist men in the index of this obstetrics textbook
Source Reddit u/Yakzi


thepoke--2020-01-23--This comic book guy’s one-star review wins facepalm of the week

Not entirely sure where to start with this one-star review of a comic store by a guy who was angry @ @ @ @ @ pretty much angry about everything .
‘ Comic Store Employee won ’ t help me @ @ @ @ @ I want to pirate later , ’ writes elipegarza who shared it on Reddit .
@ @ @ @ @ up perfectly .
That ’ s like getting mad at a Walmart employee for not @ @ @ @ @ PALlC0 ‘ It ’ s ironic that he ’ s like “ I won ’ @ @ @ @ @ for all of this fucking artistic and business effort ” and then “ comic book @ @ @ @ @ I WONDER WHY THEY ’ RE DROPPING LIKE FLIES YOU CHEAP PIECE OF SHIT !
@ @ @ @ @ , but whatever , I ’ m irate at this post for some reason.
’ @ @ @ @ @ petty one-star review but ended up making a grovelling apology

Popular
Not entirely sure where to start with this one-star review of a comic store by a guy who was angry, well, he was pretty much angry about everything.
‘Comic Store Employee won’t help me pick out a book that I want to pirate later,’ writes elipegarza who shared it on Reddit.
And these comments sum it up perfectly.
‘worst. complaint. ever.’ iran_shot_me_down That’s like getting mad at a Walmart employee for not helping you steal Oreos.’ PALlC0 ‘It’s ironic that he’s like “I won’t even pay $5 for all of this fucking artistic and business effort” and then “comic book stores dropping like flies.” I WONDER WHY THEY’RE DROPPING LIKE FLIES YOU CHEAP PIECE OF SHIT! That might not be irony, but whatever, I’m irate at this post for some reason.’ YOLOSELLHIGH
READ MORE
This guy left a petty one-star review but ended up making a grovelling apology
Image Pixabay
u/Felipegarza


thepoke--2020-01-23--This thread by a woman who found herself all alone at an open-air screening of Cats is a fab read

It ’ s quite hard to imagine going to an open-air screening of Cats , if we ’ re honest @ @ @ @ @ even harder to imagine turning up and finding out , well , finding out your @ @ @ @ @ at the entire screening .
Well that ’ s exactly what happened to and fortunately @ @ @ @ @ about it and it ’ s the best thread you ’ ll read this week @ @ @ @ @ she wasn ’ t alone .
Well , she was alone but , anyway , @ @ @ @ @ we mean .
This live review by a guy watching Cats on mushrooms is much @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
It’s quite hard to imagine going to an open-air screening of Cats, if we’re honest. And it’s even harder to imagine turning up and finding out, well, finding out you’re pretty much the only person at the entire screening.
Well that’s exactly what happened to @BrydieLK and fortunately for everyone else she tweeted about it and it’s the best thread you’ll read this week.
We’ve come to an open air screening of Cats and…no one else is here pic.twitter.com/LbF9Cmn0pH — Brydie Lee-Kennedy (@BrydieLK) January 23, 2020
Update: 3 people and many many bats have joined us pic.twitter.com/teiiRSk2Ev — Brydie Lee-Kennedy (@BrydieLK) January 23, 2020
A few more people have arrived but really not many (this cinema pretty much always sells out) and a staff member suggested to me that it’s because it’s a kids movie. Is…is it? — Brydie Lee-Kennedy (@BrydieLK) January 23, 2020
5 minutes into the movie and my very not online friend has googled “What is Cats about” and loudly asked me “is that the cat with the big dick?” (It was) — Brydie Lee-Kennedy (@BrydieLK) January 23, 2020
Oh my god they’ve stopped the movie because apparently the sound wasn’t working properly? We couldn’t hear the music at all but we assumed it was intentional, like Rebel Wilson was supposed to be just…scatting (sCATting) — Brydie Lee-Kennedy (@BrydieLK) January 23, 2020
The sound came back on in time for James Corden’s big number and it’s just started absolutely pissing it down. Act of god??? The guy in front of us is yelling “YES LET IT RAIN”, he’s not wrong. — Brydie Lee-Kennedy (@BrydieLK) January 23, 2020
I’m not kidding guys…they just cancelled the screening. Because of the rain. We sat in a mostly empty amphitheatre for 2 hours then watched 15 minutes of Cats without proper sound and now we’re being sent home. Everyone is just sitting in the rain clapping nothing. — Brydie Lee-Kennedy (@BrydieLK) January 23, 2020
“Well, cats hate rain”- my very philosophical friend who just woke up from a nap — Brydie Lee-Kennedy (@BrydieLK) January 23, 2020
Cursed movie. Greatest night of my life. — Brydie Lee-Kennedy (@BrydieLK) January 23, 2020
I really can’t stress enough how much I’ve been looking forward to this movie and yet…this feels right. Pure. We didn’t even see Taylor Swift or hear Memory. It’s how TS Elliot would’ve wanted it. — Brydie Lee-Kennedy (@BrydieLK) January 23, 2020
And it turned out she wasn’t alone. Well, she was alone but, anyway, you’ll see what we mean.
Just us!!! And cats (2019)! Except we did get to see all of it and a train went by in the background during the train scene. Outstanding pic.twitter.com/neQa57FtGt — Brabra-Ann (@robocop_mp3) January 23, 2020
We were the only ones in the cinema to see cats, this was just before Christmas…. also we loved it pic.twitter.com/lnOB9YtjVI — Isabel (@alisabelkw) January 23, 2020
READ MORE
This live review by a guy watching Cats on mushrooms is much more fun than the film
Source Twitter @BrydieLK


thepoke--2020-01-23--This painter wreaked brilliant revenge on a customer who he claims didn’t pay his £500 bill

It ’ s not only one way of making sure people pay their bills , it ’ s the best way .
Helps if you ’ re a painter and decorator , though .
‘ A disgruntled painter and decorator who claims he is owed £500 for his work has taken revenge – by leaving a message on the side of an old pub he had worked on , ’ wrote GallowBoob on Reddit .
And here he is .
Think he got the message .
‘ This reminds me of a story .
My family owns a company that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Usually my parents collect the money owed before delivering and installing the doors , but for whatever reason didn ’ t this time .
After the door was installed , the homeowner refused to pay saying it was the builder ’ s responsibility .
The builder said it was the homeowner ’ s responsibility .
My parents went back and forth for weeks .
Then they both stopped responding entirely , so my father snuck on the property , went and took the door off its hinges and brought it back to the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ legal ( trespassing and all ) but they got a check the same week.
’ dasuberkaty ‘ Something similar .
A company I worked for made software for small businesses and we delivered the product to the client .
Once delivered they cut off all communication with us and wouldn ’ t respond to our requests for payment .
We still had remote access to their servers so we just deleted it .
They remitted payment almost immediately.
’ WayneKrane ‘ I first met an uncle of my wife ’ s and I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ living , he told me that he was a painter and that he painted houses .
For some reason my brain broke and I asked him if he had any of his paintings in exhibitions around town… He gave a hearty laugh and told me “ That ’ s funny !
Good one man !
” And I just went with it .
Now he thinks I ’ m a bit of a joker when in reality I ’ m just an idiot.
’ MoneyCantBuyMeLove This woman trying to give away a wedding @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s outrageous demands that she did this

Pics
It’s not only one way of making sure people pay their bills, it’s the best way. Helps if you’re a painter and decorator, though.
‘A disgruntled painter and decorator who claims he is owed £500 for his work has taken revenge – by leaving a message on the side of an old pub he had worked on,’ wrote GallowBoob on Reddit.
And here he is.
Think he got the message. And it prompted people to share similar tales on Reddit.
‘This reminds me of a story. My family owns a company that builds custom doors for wealthy people. Usually my parents collect the money owed before delivering and installing the doors, but for whatever reason didn’t this time. After the door was installed, the homeowner refused to pay saying it was the builder’s responsibility. \ ‘The builder said it was the homeowner’s responsibility. My parents went back and forth for weeks. Then they both stopped responding entirely, so my father snuck on the property, went and took the door off its hinges and brought it back to the shop. This might have not been legal (trespassing and all) but they got a check the same week.’ dasuberkaty ‘Something similar. A company I worked for made software for small businesses and we delivered the product to the client. Once delivered they cut off all communication with us and wouldn’t respond to our requests for payment. ] ‘We still had remote access to their servers so we just deleted it. They remitted payment almost immediately.’ WayneKrane ‘I first met an uncle of my wife’s and I asked him what he did for a living, he told me that he was a painter and that he painted houses. For some reason my brain broke and I asked him if he had any of his paintings in exhibitions around town… ‘He gave a hearty laugh and told me “That’s funny! Good one man!” And I just went with it. Now he thinks I’m a bit of a joker when in reality I’m just an idiot.’ MoneyCantBuyMeLove
READ MORE
This woman trying to give away a wedding dress was so fed up with people’s outrageous demands that she did this
Source Reddit u/GallowBoob


thepoke--2020-01-23--This woman trying to give away a wedding dress was so fed up with people’s outrageous demands that s

This woman trying to give away a wedding dress was so fed up with people’s outrageous demands that she did this

The good thing about selling stuff online is that you get to make a bit of money back on stuff you don ’ t need anymore .
The bad thing is you have to deal with no end of timewasters asking ridiculous questions , making outrageous demands , or simply trying to get it on the cheap .
This woman wasn ’ t even trying to sell this wedding dress – she was giving it away – and yet she had so much grief from people that she eventually couldn ’ t take it anymore and she did this .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ anyone who ’ s ever been in a similar position .
‘ Some people are so nasty you can ’ t even GIVE shit away .
Ugh.
’ Fish_823543 ‘ Tried to give away a tv recently .
The amount of people asking stupid questions that were already answered in my ad was mind boggling .
‘ That coupled with the no shows and people that wanted me to deliver it 45 minutes away was too much .
Pulled the ad and relisted for $ 20 .
It sold the next day with @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that when there ’ s no price , people don ’ t put any value on the item or your time .
A small upcharge to weed out the assholes is often a good idea.
’ UMFreek ‘ The cheaper the stuff is , the bigger assholes you attract .
It ’ s fucking bananas.
’ TheDirtyFuture These plants come free but this woman ’ s fury that they ’ re not also delivered to her door is something to behold

Popular
The good thing about selling stuff online is that you get to make a bit of money back on stuff you don’t need anymore.
The bad thing is you have to deal with no end of timewasters asking ridiculous questions, making outrageous demands, or simply trying to get it on the cheap.
This woman wasn’t even trying to sell this wedding dress – she was giving it away – and yet she had so much grief from people that she eventually couldn’t take it anymore and she did this.
And it will be instantly relatable to anyone who’s ever been in a similar position.
‘This poor lady has tried for two weeks to give away this beautiful brand new wedding dress she’s had enough now lol,’ said robinzegg who shared it on Reddit.
‘Some people are so nasty you can’t even GIVE shit away. Ugh.’ Fish_823543 ‘Tried to give away a tv recently. The amount of people asking stupid questions that were already answered in my ad was mind boggling. ‘That coupled with the no shows and people that wanted me to deliver it 45 minutes away was too much. Pulled the ad and relisted for $20. It sold the next day with zero hassle. ‘My takeaway was that when there’s no price, people don’t put any value on the item or your time. A small upcharge to weed out the assholes is often a good idea.’ UMFreek ‘The cheaper the stuff is, the bigger assholes you attract. It’s fucking bananas.’ TheDirtyFuture
READ MORE
These plants come free but this woman’s fury that they’re not also delivered to her door is something to behold
Source Reddit u/robinzegg


thepoke--2020-01-23--This bad sex award nominee went viral and it’s truly the best bad sex we’ve read

The Literary Review ’ s Bad Sex award has been going for some time now and was founded to draw @ @ @ @ @ written , redundant , or downright cringeworthy passages of sexual description in modern fiction ” @ @ @ @ @ because a nominee from 2014 has suddenly gone viral all over again and it really @ @ @ @ @ we ’ ve ever read .
And to think – it didn ’ t even @ @ @ @ @ after it was shared by @ EffiMai on Twitter and , well , have a @ @ @ @ @ Jonathan Grimwood wasn ’ t happy about being nominated , however , and the good @ @ @ @ @ is it did give rise to the greatest headline ever .
And just a few @ @ @ @ @ saying about it on Twitter .
A whole load of highlights ( lowlights ? )
@ @ @ @ @ winners – Phwoar !
It ’ s hot stuff

Twitter
The Literary Review’s Bad Sex award has been going for some time now and was founded to draw attention to “the poorly written, redundant, or downright cringeworthy passages of sexual description in modern fiction”.
We only mention this because a nominee from 2014 has suddenly gone viral all over again and it really is the best bad sex we’ve ever read.
The worst thing about it might be that it didn’t actually win.
It went viral after it was shared by @EffiMai on Twitter and, well, have a read of this.
Author Jonathan Grimwood wasn’t happy about being nominated, however, and the good news about his extraordinary prose is it did give rise to the greatest headline ever.
And just a few of the things people were saying about it on Twitter.
What a terrible day to know how to read — Pimenta Semente de Tamarindo (@MulherTamarindo) January 22, 2020
What’s always made me angry about this is not the vineyards or even ‘quim’, but the notion that it’s possible to ‘break off a fragment’ of Brie — Daniel Nolan (@danjnolan) January 22, 2020
Very much this. I don’t think the author has ever had Brie. Or sex, for that matter. — iamthelaw (@QuerywhoIam) January 22, 2020
Well, I can never enjoy brie, milk, chocolate, or tobacco ever again… — .. (@thatchkcanwrite) January 22, 2020
wait is *this* the new Weight Watchers??? — Angela (@madcatdisease) January 22, 2020
Language didn’t spend all those years evolving so he could do this. — Inka York will publish in 2020 (@InkaYork) January 21, 2020
READ MORE
A whole load of highlights (lowlights?) from past Bad Sex Award winners – Phwoar! It’s hot stuff
Source Twitter @EffiMai Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-01-23--This climate change denier was taken down by their own logic – and it was glorious

With the Davos summit in the news , we ’ ve been seeing a lot of nonsense from climate change @ @ @ @ @ last couple of days , but for every idiot with their “ If global warming @ @ @ @ @ there ’ s still snow ?
” there are a dozen people citing science to @ @ @ @ @ boxes .
In a now-deleted tweet , someone shared what they clearly thought was a @ @ @ @ @ As we all knew there would be , there was a hero waiting in the @ @ @ @ @ , and this one did it by using the person ’ s own baffling logic @ @ @ @ @ subreddit were suitably impressed .
I like to point out to the crazed denialist fools @ @ @ @ @ getting more wild and unpredictable FOR SOME REASON the last 30-40 years and the last @ @ @ @ @ looks like GingaBlonde has had enough of the nonsense .
That ’ s a terrible @ @ @ @ @ US Senate .

Pics
With the Davos summit in the news, we’ve been seeing a lot of nonsense from climate change deniers and sceptics over the last couple of days, but for every idiot with their “If global warming is real, how come there’s still snow?” there are a dozen people citing science to put them back in their boxes.
In a now-deleted tweet, someone shared what they clearly thought was a zinger in the debate:
from Applause GIFs via Gfycat
As we all knew there would be, there was a hero waiting in the wings to put them straight, and this one did it by using the person’s own baffling logic.
Readers of the r/MurderedByWords subreddit were suitably impressed.
There are still people who think weather and climate are the same thing? organik_productions
I like to point out to the crazed denialist fools that weather has actually been getting more wild and unpredictable FOR SOME REASON the last 30-40 years and the last few years especially. TrishPanda18
“How can the titanic be sinking, my side of the ship is 400 ft in the air!” CalLil6 57
It’s sunny outside. I keep hearing about this moon thing. Haven’t seen it in hours. Where’s your Hawkins, atheists? SabashChandraBose
It looks like GingaBlonde has had enough of the nonsense.
Climate change deniers (and flat earth promoters) are the summation of all human ignorance.
That’s a terrible way to talk about the US Senate.
Source Reddit Image Reddit, @markusspiske and @scienceinhd on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-01-23--This mum thought she’d surprise her daughter at college but it didn’t go entirely to plan

This mum thought she ’ d surprise her daughter by sending her a photo of her lying on her college @ @ @ @ @ fair to say it didn ’ t go entirely to plan .
The mum , @ @ @ @ @ up a day earlier to help her daughter pack up her stuff at the end @ @ @ @ @ she arrived no-one was there so she thought she ’ d send a picture to @ @ @ @ @ it turned out she was in the wrong person ’ s room .
You can @ @ @ @ @ , and it went viral all over again after being shared on Reddit .
‘ @ @ @ @ @ to find some strange middle aged woman taking a selfie on your bed lol.
’ @ @ @ @ @ happy ending .
Of course it did !
Shout out to momma pilling for being @ @ @ @ @ Twitter .
Happy Mother 's Day , love you .
💛 pic.twitter.com/9MXpvJsNwV This lad ’ @ @ @ @ @ for his mum went spectacularly wrong

Pics
This mum thought she’d surprise her daughter by sending her a photo of her lying on her college bed but it’s fair to say it didn’t go entirely to plan.
Mum Deanna Pilling had turned up a day early to help her daughter McKenna pack up her stuff at the end of term. But when she arrived no-one was there so she thought she’d send a picture to announce her arrival.
Except it turned out she was in the wrong person’s room.
You can read the full story here, and it went viral all over again after being shared on Reddit.


thepoke--2020-01-23--‘I’ve never seen such a quick transition from intrigue to disgust’

Over on Reddit MrDankiez reckons he ’ s never seen such a quick transition ‘ from intrigue to disgust ’ @ @ @ @ @ sure we haven ’ t either .
Unless you ’ ve ever tried to give @ @ @ @ @ the mildest of curries .
‘ He ’ s got the fastest tastebuds in the @ @ @ @ @ I personally love dill pickles but don ’ t like eating cat shit , dog @ @ @ @ @ .
Oh well , just a difference of opinion between my dog and me I @ @ @ @ @ videos of dogs doing weird things to make your day better

Videos
Over on Reddit MrDankiez reckons he’s never seen such a quick transition ‘from intrigue to disgust’ and I’m pretty sure we haven’t either.
Unless you’ve ever tried to give a toddler anything more than the mildest of curries.
‘He’s got the fastest tastebuds in the West.’ Sixty9lies ‘See I personally love dill pickles but don’t like eating cat shit, dog shit, or goose shit. Oh well, just a difference of opinion between my dog and me I guess.’ alanwashere2
READ MORE
Just 19 videos of dogs doing weird things to make your day better
Source Reddit u/MrDankiez


thepoke--2020-01-23--Author James Felton triggered Trump’s Space Force with a joke

When Donald Trump said the US should have a Space Force , we thought the White House staff would distract him with a burger and that would be the end of that .
However , like a dog with a bone , the now-impeached President wouldn ’ t let it lie , so Space Force became a thing .
They recently revealed their fancy new name tapes adorning a camouflage uniform , although not camouflaged for space .
Now , we ’ re under no illusions that the US armed forces are a hotbed of improv comedy , but the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ surprisingly public .
It ’ s okay , though , because the snarky riposte was accompanied by a popular reaction gif to show they ’ re not a bunch of humourless respondatrons , but a vibrant and engaging social media account reaching out to win hearts and minds .
Naturally , James was taken by surprise .
And he wasn ’ t buying their flimsy cover story .
As a precaution , though , James had a request .
Fake news analyst and author , Alistair Coleman , had some troubling information .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ US agency taking an interest , probably through the magic of a social media manager running multiple accounts .
Someone named @ boffingirl had a sneaking suspicion about the tetchy American tweeter .
Probably not – no spelling mistakes .
The US is launching a Space Force and the reactions are out of this world – the funniest 37

Twitter
When Donald Trump said the US should have a Space Force, we thought the White House staff would distract him with a burger and that would be the end of that. However, like a dog with a bone, the now-impeached President wouldn’t let it lie, so Space Force became a thing.
They recently revealed their fancy new name tapes adorning a camouflage uniform, although not camouflaged for space.
Best-selling author, James Felton, fired back a quip.
How many trees are you expecting to find in space — James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 18, 2020
Now, we’re under no illusions that the US armed forces are a hotbed of improv comedy, but the sense of humour fail that followed was surprisingly public.
As we've stated: we're not deploying operators to space. Only our assets like SBIRS, GPS, AEHF, etc. are in space. We're currently utilizing the existing Army/Air Force OCP uniform pattern as we assign/transition USAF personnel to Space Force. pic.twitter.com/YSNeNVaD1M — United States Space Force (@SpaceForceDoD) January 22, 2020
It’s okay, though, because the snarky riposte was accompanied by a popular reaction gif to show they’re not a bunch of humourless respondatrons, but a vibrant and engaging social media account reaching out to win hearts and minds.
via Gfycat
Naturally, James was taken by surprise.
Amazing. I got a rise out of the US Space Force. https://t.co/tQ30o0O1T5 — James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 22, 2020
And he wasn’t buying their flimsy cover story.
That’s the kind of thing I’d say if I was planning on sending army men to fight space trees — James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 22, 2020
Supposed to be fighting trees in space, now they’re fighting Jim on twitter. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) 22 January 2020
Every time I’m in space and I see a tree I am going to be really fucking paranoid now, could be them — James Felton (@JimMFelton) 22 January 2020
As a precaution, though, James had a request.
Seriously though, please don’t kill me (in space, from behind a space tree) — James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 22, 2020
Fake news analyst and author, Alistair Coleman, had some troubling information.
Space Trees are already here, hiding in plain sight, murdering us all one song at a time. pic.twitter.com/mGMFWo5k0d — Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) January 22, 2020
Would watch a version of the masked singer where the judges make their guesses and then the last judge – an army guy – shouts SPACE TREE and shoots them right in the trunk — James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 22, 2020
Space Force wasn’t the only US agency taking an interest, probably through the magic of a social media manager running multiple accounts.
Oh mate, they switched to their US Space Command account to like their tweet. pic.twitter.com/7qh2MUfWbH — James Felton (@JimMFelton) 22 January 2020
Someone named @boffingirl had a sneaking suspicion about the tetchy American tweeter.
I think this exchange provides compelling evidence that the @SpaceForceDoD twitter account is in fact run by the orange man… https://t.co/LpjyVtMlPb — Random (deprogrammed) Sheep #Baa 🐑 🎪 (@boffingirl) January 22, 2020
Probably not – no spelling mistakes.
READ MORE
The US is launching a Space Force and the reactions are out of this world – the funniest 37
Source James Felton Image Space Force, NASA on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-01-23--The moment Men in Black writer Ed Solomon was accused of ‘mansplaining’ his own film is out of this

The moment Men in Black writer Ed Solomon was accused of ‘mansplaining’ his own film is out of this world

The worst thing about mansplaining – apart from when people are actually mansplaining – is when people are accused of @ @ @ @ @ really isn ’ t mansplaining at all .
We only mention this after this glorious @ @ @ @ @ writer Ed Solomon went viral on Reddit .
Solomon , a writer , producer and @ @ @ @ @ Bill & Ted films , was in a cafe when he overheard two women talking @ @ @ @ @ way ahead of us – Men in Black .
And here are just a few @ @ @ @ @ about it .
A guy mansplained labia to a woman after she mocked this outfit @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
The worst thing about mansplaining – apart from when people are actually mansplaining – is when people are accused of ‘mansplaining’ when it really isn’t mansplaining at all.
We only mention this after this glorious moment involving Men in Black writer Ed Solomon went viral on Reddit.
Solomon, a writer, producer and director who also wrote the Bill & Ted films, was in a cafe when he overheard two women talking about – you’re way ahead of us – Men in Black.
At the cafe where I’m writing the people next to me were disagreeing about the origins of Men in Black & I said “If you’d like, I could clear that up for you” & one responded: “I’m sorry, we do not need an old white male’s mansplanation.” So I apologized and that was that. — Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) October 15, 2019
(And by the way – it’s not like that was the first thing that was said; we’d actually exchanged small talk about various things over the course of their meal and my work.) — Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) October 15, 2019
Okay, on the way out of the bathroom as they were leaving her friend apologized & said I just got them on a bad day for that, & I said no worries, no need to apologize & she said “Well regardless she shouldn’t’ve used the word ‘old’ like that” & I literally laughed out loud — Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) October 15, 2019
Not that it matters, when I said I’d never heard the world manspanation, which I thought was a good word, she said she was pretty sure her friend had said “explanation” and so it’s possible I heard it incorrectly. (Does this matter? No. Should I get back to work? Yes.) — Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) October 15, 2019
SHE WROTE TO ME! She saw this thread on Reddit and realized it was her and she reached out! Oh my god it was so sweet. And she really made me laugh at the end cause she said basically “PS which one of us was right, me or my friend?” (About their disagreement) (it was her) — Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) October 15, 2019
And here are just a few of the things people said about it.
Heroic restraint on your part. — local_celebrity (@local_celebrity) October 15, 2019
seriously one of my favorite things in the world is getting people to trash talk a movie I wrote without them knowing I wrote it. the worse the better. (I do this by agreeing – and then adding stuff) — Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) October 15, 2019
I’m wondering if you’d said “Hi strangers I couldnt help but overhear your conversation and I am the guy who wrote MIB.” Because, unfortunately, many women have experienced too much interrupting mansplaining from random old white males who talk like they wrote MIB, but did not. — Heather Gray (@hsgray) October 15, 2019
Or we could just assume the best from people and not immediately attack the man — Po in the South (@jamiepos) October 15, 2019
Great point – but surely you made it up?! — WALDEMAR JANUSZCZAK (@JANUSZCZAK) October 16, 2019
No, this happened. Not as briefly as in a 280 character tweet. But yes — Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) October 16, 2019
‘Their loss,’ said nthensome over on Reddit.
READ MORE
A guy mansplained labia to a woman after she mocked this outfit and the takedowns were brutal
Source Reddit u/nthensome


thepoke--2020-01-23--Americans claiming they voted in a non-existent election says so much about the state of politics

In a move that surprised nobody but disappointed a lot of people , Republican senators crushed an attempt to allow @ @ @ @ @ Senate in the impeachment of Donald Trump .
The entire process takes place within the @ @ @ @ @ from the public , but when Jimmy Kimmel sent someone onto the streets to ask @ @ @ @ @ could all have been forgiven for wondering whether we ’ d missed something .
It @ @ @ @ @ rest of us can ’ t text our votes to Mitch McConnell .
Here ’ @ @ @ @ @ to say about the most recent episode of Lie Witness News .
Jimmy Kimmel tricks @ @ @ @ @ iPhone is the 6S Plus

Videos
In a move that surprised nobody but disappointed a lot of people, Republican senators crushed an attempt to allow witnesses to speak before the Senate in the impeachment of Donald Trump.
The entire process takes place within the Senate, with no involvement from the public, but when Jimmy Kimmel sent someone onto the streets to ask how Americans voted, we could all have been forgiven for wondering whether we’d missed something.
It’s a pity the rest of us can’t text our votes to Mitch McConnell.
Here’s what YouTube users had to say about the most recent episode of Lie Witness News.
Someone named Night Knight highlighted a sad development.
George Washington : “I cannot tell a lie.” tRump : “I cannot tell the truth.” tRump voter : “I cannot tell the difference!”
READ MORE
Jimmy Kimmel tricks people into thinking the first iPhone is the 6S Plus
Source Jimmy Kimmel Image Jimmy Kimmel


thepoke--2020-01-23--The only 8 reactions you need to Liz Kershaw’s hot take on period poverty

The topic of period poverty has come front and centre , with many bodies now acknowledging the effect on educational @ @ @ @ @ ’ t afford enough sanitary products to enable them to attend school during their periods @ @ @ @ @ a move to tackle the problem by making pads and tampons free to all state-maintained @ @ @ @ @ training schemes – a cause for celebration , you ’ d think …but not for @ @ @ @ @ surprising objection caused something of a meltdown online , with most people baffled that she @ @ @ @ @ young women this entitlement .
These reactions represent a whole raft in a similar vein @ @ @ @ @ , Janey Godley let her fellow Scot , Billy Connolly , speak for her – @ @ @ @ @ , with this heartfelt statement .

Twitter
The topic of period poverty has come front and centre, with many bodies now acknowledging the effect on educational achievement of girls who can’t afford enough sanitary products to enable them to attend school during their periods.
The government recently announced a move to tackle the problem by making pads and tampons free to all state-maintained schools and 16-19 education and training schemes – a cause for celebration, you’d think …but not for DJ Liz Kershaw.
Her surprising objection caused something of a meltdown online, with most people baffled that she should begrudge poor girls and young women this entitlement.
These reactions represent a whole raft in a similar vein.
1.
Hi Liz. I stuffed free newspaper in my pants when I suffered #PeriodPoverty AFTER going to a nice girls grammar school. Poverty isn't a linear experience, and your comments are ignorant and revolting. Use your position to raise other women up, not trample them and sneer. https://t.co/9sVSU6Ap0T — ☘🇨🇾Jack Monroe (@BootstrapCook) January 22, 2020
2.
lots to be sorry for here but mentioning periods (WHICH ARE TOTALLY NATURAL) isn't one of them.
also my mum used to use a landline but now I use a mobile because times have moved on and we don't need to be tethered to the wall anymore.
Why you fighting progress, Liz??? https://t.co/tmTxW9ghff — Em Clarkson (@EmilyClarkson) January 21, 2020
3.
It's self-aggrandizing smarm like this that highlights how far too many people see poverty as a personal failing, one where those suffering with it must go through a ceaseless public display of self-flagellation to "apologize" for it. https://t.co/P37lF63NZV — Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) January 21, 2020
4.
This argument from @LizKershawDJ is absolutely crazy! Even when you take the emotion and the poverty implications out of it. Yes our Grans did lots of things to get through but I bet she’d rather have had a pack of fucking Always you lunatic! https://t.co/Phy3D41L1S — Jason Manford (@JasonManford) January 22, 2020
5.
Oh well. We should leave little girls with no money to do that then, instead of trying to help them have the ordinary and unembarrassing life their classmates get to enjoy. — Sali Hughes (@salihughes) 22 January 2020
6.
What I’m gleaning from this uneasy partnership of words & bullshit is that you didn’t have to use boiled rags for your periods then. Awkward https://t.co/QQTeBBMSu8 — Gwdihŵ 🦉 (@youwouldknow) January 22, 2020
7.
I’ve blocked Liz Kershaw because she’s an absolute cow but anyway: I will never understand people who think that because things were shit for one generation, we should make they’re equally shit for the next. pic.twitter.com/oBprU9wd7S — Red Sky At Night (@redskyatnight) January 21, 2020
8.
My ancestors used to shit in a hole, it doesn't mean I'm spoilt because I want to sit on a toilet. https://t.co/CZsRYoX9pZ — Chairman Lmao ☭ (@BenTheTim) January 21, 2020
Comedian and national treasure, Janey Godley let her fellow Scot, Billy Connolly, speak for her – and many, many others, with this heartfelt statement.
Oh Liz pic.twitter.com/visu52VInr — Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) 22 January 2020
Source Liz Kershaw Image Liz Kershaw, @josefin on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-01-23--Laurence Fox “It’s Not Easy Being White” is the musical parody you didn’t know you needed

Before hitting the headlines by making contentious comments on Question Time , Twitter , and in interviews , actor Laurence @ @ @ @ @ anti-wokeness songs on the Jeremy Vine show , drawing considerable derision online .
A musical @ @ @ @ @ Duncan Smiths have shared their Kermit-inspired take on the debacle , with this absolutely brilliant @ @ @ @ @ Novello Awards must be beckoning .
Here are just a few of the many admiring @ @ @ @ @ t being entirely kind about Laurence Fox ’ s singing on the Jeremy Vine Show

Videos
Before hitting the headlines by making contentious comments on Question Time, Twitter, and in interviews, actor Laurence Fox performed one of his anti-wokeness songs on the Jeremy Vine show, drawing considerable derision online.
Here’s his memorable performance.
A musical comedy act named The Iain Duncan Smiths have shared their Kermit-inspired take on the debacle, with this absolutely brilliant overdub.
EXCLUSIVE: Laurence Fox performs new single "It's Not Easy Being White" pic.twitter.com/xNV69XAFyp — TheIainDuncanSmiths (@TheIDSmiths) January 21, 2020
It’s very special.
It’s not easy being white, Getting called things like “Thick as shit” and “far right”
Surely the Ivor Novello Awards must be beckoning.
Here are just a few of the many admiring reactions.
That was hilarious, brilliant 🤣🤣🤣🤣👏🏽 — Natalie Rowe (@RealNatalieRowe) 21 January 2020
Now *this* I would buy 😂😂😂 https://t.co/Xh1wkVd0df — Linda *facciamorete* #FBPE (@lindalinaha) January 21, 2020
The terrible guitar playing is genius. One of the funniest things I've ever seen. Encore! — Jen's view (@Hoppurrsneeze) 21 January 2020
Chinny Honk’s praise was slightly tempered by a simple realisation.
This is fantastic. But it can never be as hilarious as the original version, which reaches heights of self-parody seldom seen in our lifetime. https://t.co/fvUQBcFzkj — Chinny Honk (@ChinnyHonk) January 21, 2020
That’s a fair point.
People aren’t being entirely kind about Laurence Fox’s singing on the Jeremy Vine Show
Source @TheIDSmiths Image Jeremy Vine


thepoke--2020-01-23--19 crucial questions Boris Johnson ignored in the People’s PMQs

On Wednesday evening , having faced Jeremy Corbyn at Prime Minister ’ s Questions in the House of Commons at @ @ @ @ @ the ante with a live broadcast online , in which he answered questions from the @ @ @ @ @ the full clip here : He answered some hard-hitting questions , such as whether Scotland @ @ @ @ @ No . )
, what to do about the price of sanitary products ( Leave @ @ @ @ @ *checks notes* what shampoo he uses ( He doesn ’ t know , but it @ @ @ @ @ in a plastic “ tube ” . )
With such limited time and high level @ @ @ @ @ inevitably a great many unanswered questions .
Some were very serious .
Some were less @ @

Pics
On Wednesday evening, having faced Jeremy Corbyn at Prime Minister’s Questions in the House of Commons at lunchtime, Boris Johnson upped the ante with a live broadcast online, in which he answered questions from the public.
You can watch the full clip here:
LIVE: I'm answering your questions from Downing Street https://t.co/WoBwpJgjiV — Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson) January 22, 2020
He answered some hard-hitting questions, such as whether Scotland should have another referendum (No.), what to do about the price of sanitary products (Leave the EU.) and *checks notes* what shampoo he uses (He doesn’t know, but it’s blue and comes in a plastic “tube”.)
With such limited time and high level of interest, there were inevitably a great many unanswered questions.
Some were very serious.
1.
@JohnFit46321309
2.
@BarnesRyan2
3.
@BlakeSceptic
4.
@Dan_brockway
Some were less formal.
5.
@keftyron
6.
@simonajrobinson
7.
@JimmyCal90
8.
@simonajrobinson
9.
@SaraBhamxx


thepoke--2020-01-22--Simply 17 funny things people said about this picture of Dominic ‘two scarves’ Cummings

Not the first picture of Boris Johnson ’ s special friend Dominic Cummings looking odd but this one , well @ @ @ @ @ out of the ordinary .
We asked you for your captions and you didn ’ @ @ @ @ @ our favourites , along with a whole bunch of funny things other people had to @ @ @ @ @ 17 things that Dominic Cummings looks like ( not this picture , a different one @

Twitter
Not the first picture of Boris Johnson’s special friend Dominic Cummings looking odd but this one, well, this one felt particularly out of the ordinary.
We asked you for your captions and you didn’t disappoint. Here are our favourites, along with a whole bunch of funny things other people had to say about it.
1.
Looks like someone threw Robocop through Primark — Such&Such (@SuchAndSuchDes) January 22, 2020
2.
two scarves at once is peak anti-establishment pic.twitter.com/WbWKhbqYfZ — Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) January 22, 2020
3.
I see your Da's taking the divorce well pic.twitter.com/3RrqWHuhaB — joe heenan (@joeheenan) January 22, 2020
4.
Set wardrobe to shuffle — KeithKeithington (@rolphey) January 22, 2020
5.
Attention seeking takes many forms https://t.co/QHsKWikXA8 — ALASTAIR CAMPBELL (@campbellclaret) January 22, 2020
6.
'I don't care that it's 3am Sandra, just let me see the kids!' pic.twitter.com/dnkepO8EEq — Stephen Graham (@PlopGazette) January 22, 2020
7.
oh god that mini rugby ball is one of those ‘I’M JUST GONNA THROW THIS IDEA BALL AROUND THE ROOM AND IF YOU CATCH IT JUST SAY THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO YOU JUST THE FIRST THING THERE ARE NO STUPID IDEAS SHARON HA HA COME ON THIS IS HOW WE CREATE, PEOPLE’ isn’t it pic.twitter.com/82WPM6GCB5 — Sorcha Ní Nia (@Luiseach) January 22, 2020
8.
If you or I left the house looking like this, our loved ones would stage an intervention. pic.twitter.com/RaDOvc7lR8 — Karl Minns (@karlminns) January 22, 2020
9.
Don't know what everyone's laughing at. He's found the perfect outfit for when the back of your neck and nipples are freezing but the rest of you is fine except for the right forearm which exists in a different temperate zone entirely. https://t.co/zILN5tGRhl — Adam Macqueen (@adam_macqueen) January 22, 2020
10.
“You guys need to get out of London and talk to some people who aren’t rich Remainers.” pic.twitter.com/3DIj0QuMDJ — Tom Peck (@tompeck) January 22, 2020
11.
Worst. Dr Who. EVAH. — twattybanjo (@twattybanjo) January 22, 2020
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
Not sure about the Eddie the eagle sequel pic.twitter.com/EeZ3dc3Lzs — Chris Atkins (@scatatkins) January 22, 2020
In one word?
Twat — Paul Ockenden (@PaulOckenden) January 22, 2020
READ MORE
Simply 17 things that Dominic Cummings looks like (not this picture, a different one)


thepoke--2020-01-22--As people remember Terry Jones, this letter outlining the censor’s suggested cuts to Holy Grail is a

As people remember Terry Jones, this letter outlining the censor’s suggested cuts to Holy Grail is a very funny read

As people pay tribute to Terry Jones , the Monty Python star who has died aged 77 , this letter outlining the censor ’ s suggested cuts to Monty Python and the Holy Grail went viral all over again .
It was shared on Twitter by @ LettersOfNote who had this to say about it .
‘ RIP Terry Jones .
I ’ ll never forget him turning up at the launch party for the Letters of Note book in 2013 & then reading aloud this letter about Monty Python & the Holy Grail .
I could barely process it @ @ @ @ @ @ @ And here it is .
And just in case that ’ s tricky to read … The censor ’ s representative , Tony Kerpel , came along to Friday ’ s screening at Twickenham and he gave us his opinion of the film ’ s probable certificate .
He thinks the film will be AA , but it would be possible , given some dialogue cuts , to make the film an A rating , which would increase the audience .
( AA is 14 and over , and A is 5 – @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ we would have to : Lose as many shits as possible Take Jesus Christ out , if possible Lose ‘ We make castanets out of your testicles ’ I would like to get back to the censor and agree to lose the shits , take the odd Jesus Christ out and lose Oh fuck off , but to retain ‘ fart in your general direction ’ , ‘ castanets of your testicles ’ and ‘ oral sex ’ and ask him for an ‘ A ’ rating on that basis .
Please @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your attitude to this .
Simply 17 lovely tributes to Terry Jones , the Monty Python star who has died aged 77

Pics
As people pay tribute to Terry Jones, the Monty Python star who has died aged 77, this letter outlining the censor’s suggested cuts to Monty Python and the Holy Grail went viral all over again.
It was shared on Twitter by @LettersOfNote who had this to say about it.
‘RIP Terry Jones. I’ll never forget him turning up at the launch party for the Letters of Note book in 2013 & then reading aloud this letter about Monty Python & the Holy Grail. I could barely process it. He was the loveliest man.’
And here it is.
And just in case that’s tricky to read …
Dear Mike, The censor’s representative, Tony Kerpel, came along to Friday’s screening at Twickenham and he gave us his opinion of the film’s probable certificate. He thinks the film will be AA, but it would be possible, given some dialogue cuts, to make the film an A rating, which would increase the audience. (AA is 14 and over, and A is 5 – 14). For an ‘A’ we would have to: Lose as many shits as possible Take Jesus Christ out, if possible Lose ‘I fart in your general direction’ Lose ‘the oral sex‘ Lose ‘oh, fuck off’ Lose ‘We make castanets out of your testicles’ I would like to get back to the censor and agree to lose the shits, take the odd Jesus Christ out and lose Oh fuck off, but to retain ‘fart in your general direction’, ‘castanets of your testicles’ and ‘oral sex’ and ask him for an ‘A’ rating on that basis. Please let me know as soon as possible your attitude to this.
Brilliant.
That is amazing. It actually reads like a Python script. — Kal 🇬🇧🇹🇿🇮🇳 (@GoonerKal) January 22, 2020
READ MORE
Simply 17 lovely tributes to Terry Jones, the Monty Python star who has died aged 77
Source Twitter @LettersOfNote Image Sony Pictures Entertainment