thepoke--2020-11-26--This Grandma served her Thanksgiving coronavirus advice with a side of savage burn

It ’ s Thanksgiving – at the time of writing – and people in the US have been facing a @ @ @ @ @ celebrate with their families or to be more wary of the coronavirus and celebrate alone @ @ @ @ @ Over on Twitter , @ decentbirthday spotted the dilemma playing out for one particular family @ @ @ @ @ last savage word .
The post was shared again , this time on Reddit .
@ @ @ @ @ of replies , trending on the platform for hours , but we particularly enjoyed these @ @ @ @ @ girl irritating by her brother “ ruining Thanksgiving ” with his obsession with the philosopher @

Popular
It’s Thanksgiving – at the time of writing – and people in the US have been facing a tough decision about whether to celebrate with their families or to be more wary of the coronavirus and celebrate alone – if at all.
Over on Twitter, @decentbirthday spotted the dilemma playing out for one particular family, with Grandma getting the last savage word.
Grandma out here taking NAMES this year pic.twitter.com/l9anLVG9vO — decent pigeon (@decentbirthday) November 23, 2020
from Burn GIFs via Gfycat
People liked Grandma’s sass and good sense.
GRANDMA DOES NOT PLAY https://t.co/VQb2jAFS9D — Deanna Raybourn (@deannaraybourn) November 25, 2020
be the grandma of your thanksgiving https://t.co/Df9ohILOQ7 — Kate Hilts (@katehilts) November 24, 2020
they're called the greatest generation for a reason https://t.co/f3mOuK4n72 — 🦇Bat Eschner🦇 (@KatEschner) November 25, 2020
this is the energy we should all have about this virus 👏✨😤!!! https://t.co/vFZQsPy28i — women in music (@VanDeLoo_J) November 23, 2020
The post was shared again, this time on Reddit.
It picked up a lot of replies, trending on the platform for hours, but we particularly enjoyed these.
In conclusion:
READ MORE
Funny story about a girl irritating by her brother “ruining Thanksgiving” with his obsession with the philosopher Foucault
Source @decentbirthday Image @decentbirthday, krakenimages on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-11-26--The only 5 funny reactions you need to the Tory shocked that the PM broke his word

Chancellor Rishi Sunak delivered a crucial spending review on Wednesday , setting out the cost of the pandemic , and measures to deal with the financial fallout .
Public sector wages came off badly , with a pay freeze , and the spring rise in benefits will fall way below the rising cost of living .
He also announced his intention to remove the pledge to pay 0.7 % of GNI in overseas aid – slashing it to 0.5 % , against the promise in the last manifesto .
David Cameron , who introduced the pledge , was most unhappy @ @ @ @ @ @ @ It wasn ’ t just MPs unhappy about it .
Tim Montgomerie , Conservative columnist and former adviser to Boris Johnson , took to Twitter to share his justified disappointment .
While many people found themselves in the surprising position of agreeing with him that the move was both a mistake and a broken promise , they couldn ’ t help but be baffled by his naivety .
These five responses hit the spot .
Curator of ‘ The Week In Tory ’ , @ RussInCheshire summed up the move .
By an @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a letter he claimed to have received from an 8-year-old , named Monti .
It caused the Chief Political Correspondent of The Times to say this … He should write to Santa .
Boris Johnson has refused Marcus Rashford ’ s request to feed hungry kids over Christmas – 8 scathing takedowns

News
Chancellor Rishi Sunak delivered a crucial spending review on Wednesday, setting out the cost of the pandemic, and measures to deal with the financial fallout.
Public sector wages came off badly, with a pay freeze, and the spring rise in benefits will fall way below the rising cost of living. He also announced his intention to remove the pledge to pay 0.7% of GNI in overseas aid – slashing it to 0.5%, against the promise in the last manifesto.
The 2019 Conservative party manifesto. Proudly maintaining their commitment to Foreign Aid. They lied. pic.twitter.com/5oUBvjCRcv — Otto English (@Otto_English) November 25, 2020
David Cameron, who introduced the pledge, was most unhappy, as were many Conservative MPs.
I deeply regret today’s decision to break our promise to spend 0.7% of GNI on development. Here’s why: pic.twitter.com/Yv9XDhPCNs — David Cameron (@David_Cameron) November 25, 2020
It wasn’t just MPs unhappy about it.
Even if you don't care on humanitarian grounds,do you see the link between reducing the overseas aid budget and increasing the defence budget? It's a short link @RishiSunak — Deborah Meaden (@DeborahMeaden) November 25, 2020
I think I get it. We are cutting foreign aid so we can look after our own, but looking after our own is socialism, and if people don't like that they should move to another country, but not like when other people try to move here because their countries can't support them. Wait. — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) November 25, 2020
But isn't the *whole point* of tying aid to a % of GDP that you don't *need* to cut it when GDP drops, on account of the way it so very obviously cuts itself? — Hugo Rifkind (@hugorifkind) November 25, 2020
Tim Montgomerie, Conservative columnist and former adviser to Boris Johnson, took to Twitter to share his justified disappointment.
While many people found themselves in the surprising position of agreeing with him that the move was both a mistake and a broken promise, they couldn’t help but be baffled by his naivety.
These five responses hit the spot.
1.
'I never thought leopards would eat *my* face,' sobs massive supporter of Leopards Eating People's Faces Party. https://t.co/szEbR0BClz — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) November 25, 2020
2.
How could you have known that someone who was sacked twice for lying, lied to The Queen and cheated on two wives might break a promise?#SpendingReview https://t.co/Ts9qrqneOA — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) November 25, 2020
3.
New to Boris Johnson, mate? https://t.co/oW7ixMosS9 — John Brewin (@JohnBrewin_) November 25, 2020
4.
Welcome to our world Tim ! https://t.co/RfhCLH93xh — Clare Hepworth OBE (@Hepworthclare) November 25, 2020
5.
Man behaves in his 57th year exactly as he's behaved in his first 56.
Shocking. https://t.co/PlDBGn1t2k — Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) November 25, 2020
Curator of ‘The Week In Tory’, @RussInCheshire summed up the move.
When you lose ConservativeHome, you're no longer a Conservative. We have a Libertarian Nationalist party in charge, and none of us voted for one of those. https://t.co/Nn5ju6PsQx — Russ (@RussInCheshire) November 25, 2020
By an odd coincidence, the PM had shared a letter he claimed to have received from an 8-year-old, named Monti.
Monti (aged 8) wrote to me asking if Father Christmas will be able to deliver presents this year 🎅🎁🎄 I've had lots of letters about this, so I have spoken with experts and can assure you that Father Christmas will be packing his sleigh and delivering presents this Christmas! pic.twitter.com/pXwcjHSxZg — Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson) November 25, 2020
It caused the Chief Political Correspondent of The Times to say this …
yes but @montie (aged 48) wants you to keep your word on aid spending — Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) November 25, 2020
He should write to Santa.
“Dear Father Christmas, I’ve been very good. All I want this year is a PS5 and for Boris Johnson to have a change of personality.“
READ MORE
Boris Johnson has refused Marcus Rashford’s request to feed hungry kids over Christmas – 8 scathing takedowns
Source Tim Montgomerie Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-11-26--14 of the most hilarious, unhinged, and downright bizarre movie reviews

Everyone ’ s a critic , and that ’ s especially true when it comes to the movie-based social networking @ @ @ @ @ the 100,000s reviews on the site is no easy task , but luckily the brilliant @ @ @ @ @ round up the most hilarious , unhinged , and downright bizarre for our enjoyment .
@ @ @ @ @ you need to the horrifying Clifford the Big Red Dog trailer

Twitter
Everyone’s a critic, and that’s especially true when it comes to the movie-based social networking site Letterboxd.
Sorting through the 100,000s reviews on the site is no easy task, but luckily the brilliant @InsaneLetterbox is here to round up the most hilarious, unhinged, and downright bizarre for our enjoyment.
Here are 14 favourites:
1.
2.
rip to Mr Park but im different pic.twitter.com/U7JwPtRtYJ — Lebbertoxd (@InsaneLetterbox) August 17, 2020
3.
The Wizard of Oz (1939) pic.twitter.com/qHOSOwTyUb — Lebbertoxd (@InsaneLetterbox) January 27, 2020
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
The Blair Witch Project (1999) pic.twitter.com/iooZbsxIbk — Lebbertoxd (@InsaneLetterbox) August 19, 2020
9.
10.
All my homies hate landscape mode pic.twitter.com/Cu4ZeEO09e — Lebbertoxd (@InsaneLetterbox) October 4, 2020
11.
12.
No Country for Old Men (2007) pic.twitter.com/PKKffbe8R9 — Lebbertoxd (@InsaneLetterbox) September 17, 2020
14.
READ MORE
The only 12 hilarious reactions you need to the horrifying Clifford the Big Red Dog trailer
Source: @InsaneLetterbox


thepoke--2020-11-26--‘Blur’s Song 2, but every “woohoo” is done by Mario’

‘ Blur ’ s Song 2 , but every “ woohoo ” is done by Mario ’ is clever and @ @ @ @ @ posted by ThePandemicLight on YouTube a while back and recently went viral all over again @ @ @ @ @ ThePandemicLight said about it .
Inspired by watching a livestream of Super Mario Odyssey for @ @ @ @ @ sounds near-constantly until I could hear them in my head while I was trying to @ @ @ @ @ can find more from ThePandemicLight on YouTube here and a brand new channel here .

Videos
‘Blur’s Song 2, but every “woohoo” is done by Mario’ is clever and very funny.
It was posted by ThePandemicLight on YouTube a while back and recently went viral all over again.
Here’s what ThePandemicLight said about it.
Blur – “Song 2 (Odyssey Remix)” Inspired by watching a livestream of Super Mario Odyssey for 6+ hours and hearing these sounds near-constantly until I could hear them in my head while I was trying to sleep last night.
You can find more from ThePandemicLight on YouTube here and a brand new channel here.
READ MORE
‘Thomas the Scream Engine’ is giving people nightmares
Source YouTube ThePandemicLight


thepoke--2020-11-27--The 25 funniest tweets of the week

The 25 funniest tweets of the week

Every week , we scour Twitter for the funniest tweets we can find and narrow them down to 25 of @ @ @ @ @ them out and maybe give some of the people who wrote them a follow .
@ @ @ @ @ best tweets we ’ ve seen this week…

Twitter
Every week, we scour Twitter for the funniest tweets we can find and narrow them down to 25 of the very best. Check them out and maybe give some of the people who wrote them a follow.
Here they are, the best tweets we’ve seen this week…
1.
https://twitter.com/roobeekeane/status/1330618194248278016
2.
chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing — cass (@cassthevirgin) November 22, 2020
3.
Americans pronouncing Glasgow pic.twitter.com/vCIym4KcDI — Ross Sayers (@Sayers33) November 25, 2020
4.
2020 appliances: *break within 2 years* 1970s refrigerator: i will outlive u and everyone u love. i am eternal. i am time itself — tatum (@50FirstTates) November 24, 2020
5.
Please… My son… he is very sick. pic.twitter.com/m4tqv6jERF — Angry Skycrane (@AngrySkycrane) November 24, 2020
6.
I'm missing trains so much now that later on I'm going to wedge myself in the gap between the wall and the bookshelf, rucksack at my feet, whilst on the phone to my wife saying "I'm stuck in Stratford, I don't know what's going on, we're not moving. No one's telling us anything." — Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) November 26, 2020
7.
and they say the baby shoes thing is the saddest six word story pic.twitter.com/54pUROX2ct — frightshark (@FrightShark) November 25, 2020
8.
the doorknob was invented in 1877 people in 1876: pic.twitter.com/Bh4IsKQuft — cnelly (@cnelliy) November 26, 2020
9.
my daughter is making a convincing argument that egg should be spelled “eg” and that the second “g” should only be used to describe really big eggs — ∞ + 1 (@stuckinaportal) November 22, 2020
10.
11.
Thinking about South Shields high street pic.twitter.com/M9DezxQCrk — Calum. (@CalumS1991) November 24, 2020
12.
another day of staring at the big screen while scrolling through my little screen so as to reward myself for staring at the medium screen all week — Delia Cai (@delia_cai) November 22, 2020
13.
https://twitter.com/samuel_mcqueen/status/1331599693852405765
14.
I used face app to merge all the beatles together and it created this behold the beatle. pic.twitter.com/nM4zgTgcXg — Mary (Hiatus / Read bio for info) (@Mystic_MeIody) November 20, 2020
15.
“Oh, right, UNSOLVED Mysteries” – me at the end of every episode — Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) November 21, 2020
16.
Girls only want one thing and it’s to taste Wallace and Gromit ‘s moon cheese and crackers pic.twitter.com/VUhnAmGECr — baby girl da princess (@sug_knight) November 23, 2020
17.
people my age aren't having a lot of kids because one of our 9 roommates usually objects — Amy (@cableknitjumper) November 25, 2020
18.
January Jones when she sees February Fones pic.twitter.com/Ku6W2xyM0j — it’s almost Christmas (@matrixreloaded_) November 22, 2020
19.
if you knew me before my 20s, you never actually knew me. you knew season 1 me. we were severely underfunded and the writing team was going through a lot. — Audrey Porne (@AudreyPorne) November 22, 2020
20.
I told my daughter to grab her mask so we can go to the store. This was the mask she grabbed. pic.twitter.com/JQdRZltCSv — Maintaining ✨ (@SunsetSoFresh) November 22, 2020
21.
dads sneeze so loud bc it’s the only way they know how to express their emotions — nozzy (@schnooozle) November 25, 2020
22.
23.
Gmail when you sign in on another device pic.twitter.com/HD2RsoiwPg — ☥ (@emmaog___) November 22, 2020
24.
My Dad once took a BDSM leather making class without knowing what BDSM was. At the end of the course he gave me this pom pom to “use while cheering for the Detroit Lions”. pic.twitter.com/o2lq4JjfeY — Jol Jol (@theWALKOWSKI) November 25, 2020
25.
Me every day at 5:37pm. pic.twitter.com/tGIf9TqnA8 — Bonita Applebelly (@BApplebelly) November 24, 2020
Want more funny tweets?
Check out last week’s roundup


thepoke--2020-11-27--‘Diaper Don’ trended worldwide and Trump spitting out his dummy made it even better

It ’ s been quite a 24 hours for Donald Trump , what with his comedy strop at a journalist who dared to ask him a question , and the relentless mockery of that tiny desk he found himself sat behind .
And then , just when it couldn ’ t get any worse , ‘ Diaper Don ’ started trending on Twitter because , well , have a look at the state of this .
It ’ s not clever to mock someone ’ s appearance , but in Donald Trump ’ s case we ’ ll make an @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with # DiaperDon by @ MeidasTouch … … and it went viral , really viral .
It didn ’ t go unnoticed by Trump , obviously , and his fury just made it even better .
You could say he spat his dummy out .
And here are just a few of the things people were saying about it .
The 17 funniest things people said about Trump and his tiny table AND EVEN MORE ‘ Don ’ t talk to the president that way !
’ 9 favourite responses to Donald Trump @ @ @ @

Twitter
It’s been quite a 24 hours for Donald Trump, what with his comedy strop at a journalist who dared to ask him a question, and the relentless mockery of that tiny desk he found himself sat behind.
And then, just when it couldn’t get any worse, ‘Diaper Don’ started trending on Twitter because, well, have a look at the state of this.
It’s not clever to mock someone’s appearance, but in Donald Trump’s case we’ll make an exception.
The picture was originally tweeted with #DiaperDon by @MeidasTouch …
This is the post that started it all #DiaperDon https://t.co/QyHXDt6Ejl — MeidasTouch.com (@MeidasTouch) November 27, 2020
… and it went viral, really viral.
https://twitter.com/MeidasTouch/status/1332220483568340992?s=20
Not long after Trump was on Twitter raging about ‘totally false “trends” that have absolutely nothing to do with what is really trending in the world.’ What can he possibly have had in mind?
Twitter is sending out totally false “Trends” that have absolutely nothing to do with what is really trending in the world. They make it up, and only negative “stuff”. Same thing will happen to Twitter as is happening to @FoxNews daytime. Also, big Conservative discrimination! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 27, 2020
You could almost say he spat his dummy out. And here are just a few of the things people were saying about it.
1.
It’s appalling that #DiaperDon is trending #1 worldwide and upsetting #Trump. Using the phrase #DiaperDon is stooping to the kind of moronic behaviour that has so degraded his office for 4 years. Using #DiaperDon more than once in a tweet will only perpetuate this.#DiaperDon — Jason Isaacs (@jasonsfolly) November 27, 2020
2.
If Dear Leader can’t be President of the United States, can we make him President of the whole incontinent? #DiaperDon — Operation MAGA (@OperationMAGA) November 27, 2020
3.
4.
https://twitter.com/TaylorGundy/status/1332209291013484544?s=20
5.
6.
https://twitter.com/Ajohms1956/status/1332232225002295298?s=20
7.
#DiaperDon and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Resolute desk, tiny hands edition. pic.twitter.com/HQCnrYbO97 — and so we crumble (@literal_analogy) November 27, 2020
8.
Trump is extremely upset that #DiaperDon is trending, so he wants to shut down Twitter, because of how conservatives love free speech. pic.twitter.com/m5dprHRMwi — David Roberts (@drvox) November 27, 2020
9.
Maybe if you behave yourself, stop lying to undermine a fair election & start thinking of what's good for the country instead of whining about how unfairly you are treated, you'll be invited to sit at the big boy's table. #DiaperDon pic.twitter.com/nnNOoOI1gl — Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) November 27, 2020
To recap …
In short.
We have apparently given @realDonaldTrump a nervous breakdown by having #DiaperDon trend. — MeidasTouch.com (@MeidasTouch) November 27, 2020
READ MORE
The 17 funniest things people said about Trump and his tiny table
AND EVEN MORE
‘Don’t talk to the president that way!’ 9 favourite responses to Donald Trump’s comedy strop
Source Twitter @MeidasTouch


thepoke--2020-11-27--People have been sharing what 2020 has taught them – our 17 favourites

There can ’ t be a single person who hasn ’ t been floored by the turn of events that @ @ @ @ @ that ’ s going to be remembered for – mostly – the wrong reasons .
@ @ @ @ @ , u/HumanSieve posed what seemed to be a simple question .
What has 2020 taught @ @ @ @ @ many and varied , but we managed to whittle them down to the ones we @ @ @ @ @ year .
Some of it was very positive .
Some of it was mixed .
@ @ @ @ @ was unequivocally bad .

Popular
There can’t be a single person who hasn’t been floored by the turn of events that has made 2020 a year that’s going to be remembered for – mostly – the wrong reasons.
Over on the r/AskReddit forum, u/HumanSieve posed what seemed to be a simple question.
What has 2020 taught you?
The anwers were many and varied, but we managed to whittle them down to the ones we felt really sum up this year.
Some of it was very positive.
1.
2.
Some of it was mixed.
3.
4.
But a lot of it was unequivocally bad.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.


thepoke--2020-11-27--‘I can’t stop laughing at this. I have no words’

Facepalm of the week – no question – goes to this , shared by Redditor lemonsarethekey who says : ‘ I can ’ t stop laughing at this .
I have no words.
’ And you ’ ll see why .
And it got people admitting when they did something similar .
‘ I am afraid to admit I did something rather similar to this once .
We had just moved into a house with a gas stove ( first one of my life ) , we lost power but wanted some coffee .
No problem , I thought , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ propane grill and use the little side burner .
It was months later before I realized how stupid that was.
’ MBisme ‘ I washed my clothes in fabric softener for months before my mom came to visit and asked for detergent .
I thought she was losing it because it was right in front of her face !
It wasn ’ t .
We all have our shining moments.
’ jackiedub105 ‘ It ’ s funny until I realize i would probably do the same thing.
’ Chubalicous Although this person had @ @ @ @ @ @ @ gas ranges shutoff completely with loss of power .
You can ’ t easily just light it with a match .
I had one in my old house that was like that .
I ’ m sure if you ’ re handy enough there ’ s probably a way to bypass it , but in the dark is probably not the easiest time to figure that out .
So this may not be as much of a face palm as you think.
’ Flaconfly

Weird World
Facepalm of the week – no question – goes to this, shared by Redditor lemonsarethekey who says: ‘I can’t stop laughing at this. I have no words.’
And you’ll see why.
And it got people admitting when they did something similar.
‘I am afraid to admit I did something rather similar to this once. We had just moved into a house with a gas stove (first one of my life), we lost power but wanted some coffee. No problem, I thought, I’ll just fire up the propane grill and use the little side burner. It was months later before I realized how stupid that was.’ MBisme ‘I washed my clothes in fabric softener for months before my mom came to visit and asked for detergent. I thought she was losing it because it was right in front of her face! It wasn’t. We all have our shining moments.’ jackiedub105 ‘It’s funny until I realize i would probably do the same thing.’ Chubalicous
Although this person had a suggestion.
‘A lot of gas ranges shutoff completely with loss of power. You can’t easily just light it with a match. I had one in my old house that was like that. I’m sure if you’re handy enough there’s probably a way to bypass it, but in the dark is probably not the easiest time to figure that out. So this may not be as much of a face palm as you think.’ Flaconfly
Nope, not buying it.
READ MORE
These ’40 greatest ’70s household dangers’ are a mildly terrifying nostalgic treat
Source Reddit u/lemonsarethekey


thepoke--2020-11-27--These ’40 greatest ’70s household dangers’ are a mildly terrifying nostalgic treat

The good people of @ memorialdevice – ‘ the best band you ’ ve never heard ’ – over on @ @ @ @ @ a list

Twitter
The good people of @memorialdevice – ‘the best band you’ve never heard’ – over on Twitter have come up with a list of ’70s household dangers’ that will be familiar to people of a certain age.
And they are a mildly terrifying nostalgic treat.
The MD guide to the 40 greatest 70s household dangers. In order. Number 40 A car battery permanently on charge. On the kitchen table. Sparking and giving off fumes that made the dog wobble. And leaking sulphuric acid. pic.twitter.com/WCoypFmbge — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 39 The sixpence in the Christmas pudding. Chipped teeth, emergency deployment of the Heimlich maneuver and various nasty conditions caused by ‘retrieving’ the accidentally swallowed coin. pic.twitter.com/UTLprVUNQi — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 38 Dental mayhem. Fillings ragged out with a rogue Toffo. Lose teeth removed with a bit of string and a door handle. pic.twitter.com/LsvgD1YEz9 — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 37 KILLER STOOLS!https://t.co/TukghGGzSK — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 36 Darts. Leathally sharp heavy brass projectiles + evil cousins juiced up on e-numbers do not a good combination make. pic.twitter.com/DMOcwu7rCr — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 35 Piles. Sitting on anything cold definitely gave you piles. Everything in the 70s was cold. hence, chalfonts galore. Led to Johnny Giles being the most famous name in 70s football. pic.twitter.com/ECzFIlGmgi — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 34 The pogo stick. Slightly tipsy, excitable, tubby aunties + shiny lino floor = a mouthful of formica worktop. pic.twitter.com/iIf6UjmxaP — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 33 Missing the Rawlplug with the screw. Everything was loose and eventually fell down in the 70s. Amusing when the clock fell on the dog. Less so when the kitchen crockery cupboard fell down in the middle of the night pic.twitter.com/Qah6BRBqkA — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 32 Fatal floor. YOU MIGHT AS WELL SET A MANTRAP!https://t.co/H8WNVkfy8L — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 31 Platform shoes. Ankle breakers. pic.twitter.com/ZwP1LenZAP — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 29 The Ronco Trimcomb – The Family Barber. ‘Save on expensive barber bills’. Ripped hair out by the roots. pic.twitter.com/HhVFWRFgo7 — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 28 The cunning foil fuse in the plug replacement pic.twitter.com/59myCRoJuj — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 27 The rusty Slinky. Tetanus in a box. pic.twitter.com/CUmIfXUr3l — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 26 A crossbow. Bought on HP from the Kays Catalogue. Weaponry on HP for the masses. pic.twitter.com/ew8ERcw0tj — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 25 Scholls. The always available weapon. pic.twitter.com/ZhpjPEHxwN — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 24 The Paraffin Heater. pic.twitter.com/kb517Kq0CM — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020
Number 23 ‘Mushroom’ foraging. Great fun out in the open. Tasted a bit funny with the chips but went down OK. Followed by an evening of family vomiting, diarrhea and terrifying hallucinations. pic.twitter.com/I6Kn4OqS2q — Memorial Device (@memorialdevice) November 6, 2020


thepoke--2020-11-27--This doctor’s tale of ‘curing’ an anti-vaxxer’s ignorance is simply glorious

Hopes for an imminent Covid vaccine have brought into focus once again the small but vocal minority of people who refuse to have vaccinations .
We mention this because over on Reddit , doctors and other medical professionals were asked to share their stories of anti-vaxxer parents .
And this tale of how an anti-vaxxer was ‘ cured ’ of er ignorance is a fabulous read .
And so unexpected we had to read it twice to get it .
‘ I was not expecting this to happen , ’ said Bappinator who shared it .
And just a few @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it .
‘ We have found the cure to anti-vaxxers.
’ artisticgamer92 ‘ This probably ties in to the research that says that COVID-19 deniers are more likely to wear PPE if the issue is related to them as though the virus were an “ enemy ” and it was the military recommending they wear masks to protect America ’ s “ security ” .
’ StoppableHulk ‘ How dare you use my own spells against me , Potter !
’ ctjury This brilliant takedown of an anti-vaxxer mum may never be bettered @ @ @

Popular
Hopes for an imminent Covid vaccine have brought into focus once again the small but vocal minority of people who refuse to have vaccinations.
We mention this because over on Reddit, doctors and other medical professionals were asked to share their stories of anti-vaxxer parents.
And this tale of how an anti-vaxxer was ‘cured’ of her ignorance is a fabulous read. And so unexpected we had to read it twice to get it.
‘I was not expecting this to happen,’ said Bappinator who shared it.
Boom.
And just a few of the many things people said about it.
‘We have found the cure to anti-vaxxers.’ artisticgamer92 ‘This probably ties in to the research that says that COVID-19 deniers are more likely to wear PPE if the issue is related to them as though the virus were an “enemy” and it was the military recommending they wear masks to protect America’s “security”.’ StoppableHulk ‘How dare you use my own spells against me, Potter!’ ctjury ‘Sectumsempra!’ ConfusedAllTime
READ MORE
This brilliant takedown of an anti-vaxxer mum may never be bettered
Source Reddit u/Bappinator


thepoke--2020-11-27--9 people who got caught lying on Facebook in the best possible way

Let ’ s face it , Facebook isn ’ t exactly known as a place where people share the most truthful of statuses .
Whether it ’ s a little white lie to gain sympathy from friends or massively exaggerating your achievements – it ’ s far too easy to stretch the truth and get away with it .
Not always though .
Here are 9 people who got caught lying in the most satisfying ways possible – all courtesy of r/quityourbullshit .
Enjoy .
1 .
This person who probably should have picked up the book : 2 .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ 3 .
This person who probably should have made a more realistic claim : 4 .
This person who should have paid more attention in geography class : 5 .
This person who was fed up with Facebook invites : 6 .
This person trying to make a quick buck : 7 .
This person who got called out by a parent : 8 .
This person who held the solution in their own hands : 9 .
And finally this person , who hopefully followed through on their generosity : 14 photos @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Marketplace can be

Pics
Let’s face it, Facebook isn’t exactly known as a place where people share the most truthful of statuses.
Whether it’s a little white lie to gain sympathy from friends or massively exaggerating your achievements – it’s far too easy to stretch the truth and get away with it. Not always though.
Here are 9 people who got caught lying in the most satisfying ways possible – all courtesy of r/quityourbullshit. Enjoy.
1. This person who probably should have picked up the book:
2. This person who hid their true diagnosis:
3. This person who probably should have made a more realistic claim:
4. This person who should have paid more attention in geography class:
5. This person who was fed up with Facebook invites:
6. This person trying to make a quick buck:
7. This person who got called out by a parent:
8. This person who held the solution in their own hands:
9. And finally this person, who hopefully followed through on their generosity:
READ MORE
14 photos that perfectly capture just how wild Facebook Marketplace can be
Source: r/quityourbullshit


thepoke--2020-11-27--Finally – an explanation of those confusing Christmas coronavirus rules

All four nations of the United Kingdom have agreed on a strategy for the Christmas period , resulting in a @ @ @ @ @ .
As is so often the case , however , what is and isn ’ @ @ @ @ @ sketchy – which is where this little sketch comes in .
The very funny Larry @ @ @ @ @ – but what the questions are is anybody ’ s guess .
Let ’ s @ @ @ @ @ Delighted that the virus has agreed to take five days off.
” “ Using the @ @ @ @ @ clear ’ for the millionth time today.
” “ A Christmas bubble is one bubble @ @ @ @ @ one is a support bubble .
Bubbles remain within tiers , unless tiers trump bubbles.
@ @ @ @ @ the many messages of praise that have winged their way to Larry and Paul .
@ @ @ @ @ Copy summed up the effect of the sketch on the viewers .

Videos
All four nations of the United Kingdom have agreed on a strategy for the Christmas period, resulting in a distinct loosening of the rules.
As is so often the case, however, what is and isn’t allowed is a little sketchy – which is where this little sketch comes in.
The very funny Larry and Paul have the answers – but what the questions are is anybody’s guess.
BREAKING NEWS: The latest #RealDailyBriefing from the actual UK Government. Important stuff. Please RT to everyone. Latest updates on #Christmas arrangements, the #SpendingReview and #PritiPatel. pic.twitter.com/jXURS9EuOp — ♥ Larry & Paul ♥ (@larryandpaul) November 25, 2020
Let’s go over that …
“Delighted that the virus has agreed to take five days off.” “Using the words ‘Let me be clear’ for the millionth time today.” “A Christmas bubble is one bubble, or two bubbles if one is a support bubble. Bubbles remain within tiers, unless tiers trump bubbles.“
from Jeff Goldblum GIFs via Gfycat
Here are some of the many messages of praise that have winged their way to Larry and Paul.
Laughter. Short pause. Back to crying. https://t.co/qOhpFvG0dI — Four Seasons Total Copy (@HayesThompson) November 26, 2020
Love these guys, they've nailed it here https://t.co/ZQfChfaiRN — FTrix #RTTG #FBPE #3point5Percent #ToriesOut (@cannotpleaseall) November 27, 2020
So painful to watch 🙈 https://t.co/Tdu5xdkjCp — james crabtree (@jamescrabtree) November 26, 2020
Finally, Four Seasons Total Copy summed up the effect of the sketch on the viewers.
Laughter. Short pause. Back to crying. https://t.co/qOhpFvG0dI — Four Seasons Total Copy (@HayesThompson) November 26, 2020
READ MORE
“The wrong footballer bought an expensive house” beautifully nails racist double standards
Source Larry and Paul Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-11-27--‘Don’t talk to the president that way!’ 9 favourite responses to Donald Trump’s comedy strop

Spare a thought – only kidding !
– for Donald Trump , who suffered the most unfortunate of meltdowns at @ @ @ @ @ was asked by reporters about his baseless claims of electoral fraud .
The outgoing president @ @ @ @ @ that he lost the election , went viral with this comedy strop sat at his @ @ @ @ @ , watch .
“ Don ’ t talk to me that way .
You ’ @ @ @ @ @ Don ’ t talk to me that way .
I ’ m the president of @ @ @ @ @ ’ t ever talk to the president that way.
” And these are our 9 @ @ @ @ @ it .
The 17 funniest things people said about Trump and his tiny table

Twitter
Spare a thought – only kidding! – for Donald Trump, who suffered the most unfortunate of meltdowns at the White House after he was asked by reporters about his baseless claims of electoral fraud.
The outgoing president, who continues to deny that he lost the election, went viral with this comedy strop sat at his tiny table because, well, watch.
“Don’t talk to me that way. You’re just a lightweight. Don’t talk to me that way. I’m the president of the United States. Don’t ever talk to the president that way.”
And these are our 9 favourite things people said about it.
1.
https://twitter.com/AshaRangappa_/status/1332133928652599298?s=20
2.
The excellent journalist @jeffmason1 is on the other end of this spectacle. Jeff will still be working at the White House after January 20, 2021. https://t.co/OJoGCvzUrG — Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) November 27, 2020
3.
When you need to remind people that you're the president of the United States, you kinda aren't anymore. https://t.co/kLFlMHneuY — Devin Nunes' Alt-Mom (@NunesAlt) November 27, 2020
4.
Nothing like a sad, defeated autocrat. https://t.co/f9LAPALM2c — Ben Rhodes (@brhodes) November 26, 2020
5.
Trump to reporter: “Don’t talk to me that way! You’re just a lightweight. I’m the president of the United States!” America to Trump: “Not for long, loser!” — Jon Cooper (@joncoopertweets) November 27, 2020
6.
Little itty bitty tiny dick energy https://t.co/0m4SdBTCLs — Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) November 27, 2020
7.
All going according to plan. https://t.co/eaowvDfXsw — Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) November 27, 2020
8.
Tough, painful questions is exactly how we talk to the President of the United States This putz thinks he’s a dictator https://t.co/KVRmpsH7hE — Ron Fournier (@ron_fournier) November 26, 2020
9.
I’m sorry, but the fact that so many people destroyed their lives for this man is objectively hilarious. https://t.co/9w1aESxPHo — Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) November 27, 2020
To conclude.
What an extraordinary asshole. https://t.co/zoV8Abxwff — Don Winslow (@donwinslow) November 27, 2020
And this.
Trump Is A Little Touchy He Lost “Don't talk to me that way. I'm the President of the United States.” Not For Long!!! pic.twitter.com/TfPxlTKKcL — illuminate (@myworldmysun) November 27, 2020
READ MORE
The 17 funniest things people said about Trump and his tiny table
Source @atrupar


thepoke--2020-11-27--The 17 funniest things people said about Trump and his tiny table

After broadcasting a Thanksgiving Day message to the troops , Donald Trump tore a strip off one of the journalists @ @ @ @ @ a question – which is totally normal .
He also finally confirmed that he would @ @ @ @ @ Joe Biden wins* , before launching into the inevitable accusations of fraud .
*Spoiler alert @ @ @ @ @ spite of those two things , it was something very different that got the jokes @ @ @ @ @ washed the President ’ s table on the hot cycle and it shrank .

Pics
After broadcasting a Thanksgiving Day message to the troops, Donald Trump tore a strip off one of the journalists present, for asking him a question – which is totally normal.
He also finally confirmed that he would leave the White House if Joe Biden wins*, before launching into the inevitable accusations of fraud.
*Spoiler alert – he already has
It's hilarious that Trump declaring he's willing to eventually leave the White House SINCE HE LOST THE FUCKING ELECTION is worthy of headlines today. I won't even link. But that's where he's put us on Thanksgiving 2020. Future historians (if we have them) will cackle and weep. — Steve Silberman (@stevesilberman) November 27, 2020
In spite of those two things, it was something very different that got the jokes flowing.
This is a real photo he chose to take. pic.twitter.com/uDdA56Zr2c — Walter Shaub (@waltshaub) November 27, 2020
Yes – someone washed the President’s table on the hot cycle and it shrank.
Twitter had a field day.
1.
Maybe if you behave yourself, stop lying to undermine a fair election & start thinking of what's good for the country instead of whining about how unfairly you are treated, you'll be invited to sit at the big boy's table. #DiaperDon pic.twitter.com/nnNOoOI1gl — Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) November 27, 2020
2.
3.
#DiaperDon is trending. And Trump did a presser from the kiddy table. Literally couldn’t make these things up. pic.twitter.com/D53jysZzDX — Jessica Lada (@jlada) November 27, 2020
4.
This is the Four Seasons Total Landscaping of tables. pic.twitter.com/RwYZ9zUksH — Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) November 27, 2020
5.
Joe Biden has been President-Elect for only a few weeks and he already got Trump sitting at the kids table. pic.twitter.com/fI0C3BhFkP — Christopher Bouzy (@cbouzy) November 27, 2020
6.
Great way to ease the transition to the make believe room they’ve set up in the Mar-a-Lago basement rec room pic.twitter.com/B7w8uuK8J6 — Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) November 27, 2020
7.
Look, I’ve been off Twitter most of the day and I can’t tell if this tiny desk is a joke or real. It seems too perfect to be real. And yet. — Celeste Ng (@pronounced_ing) November 27, 2020
8.


thepoke--2020-11-27--Our 12 favourite reactions to the PM’s dramatic ‘Your tier is not your destiny’ statement

If you live in England you ’ ll be aware , by now , of the strengthened tier into which @ @ @ @ @ lockdown .
The decision will have been the result of complex calculations based on the @ @ @ @ @ cases per 100,000 population and whether or not your local politicians argued with the government @ @ @ @ @ all in a briefing , using his customary flowery language .
It wasn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ have imagined .
As we ’ ve seen so often , the PM ’ s @ @ @ @ @ echoed by the experts .
In this case , Johnson ’ s claim was followed @ @ @ @ @ reactions to the Christmas Covid rules that are more ‘ No way ’ than ‘ @ @

Twitter
If you live in England you’ll be aware, by now, of the strengthened tier into which your area will emerge from lockdown.
The decision will have been the result of complex calculations based on the R number, percentage of cases per 100,000 population and whether or not your local politicians argued with the government.
Boris Johnson explained it all in a briefing, using his customary flowery language.
“Your tier is not your destiny – every area has the means of escape” UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson says “the allocation of tiers will be reviewed every 14 days, starting on the 16th December”https://t.co/2T612JWzzM pic.twitter.com/KzILqQH6X9 — BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) November 26, 2020
It wasn’t the helpful phrase he might have imagined.
'Your Tier is not your destiny'. I really wish @BorisJohnson would just stop it with this patronising guff. My constituents have been in local lockdown since July and you still haven't explained to them the actual criteria for going into Tier 3 and how we can leave Tier 3. — 🌈 Angela Rayner 🌈 (@AngelaRayner) November 26, 2020
We gathered our favourite reactions.
1.
Hi, Boris Johnson here, you may remember me from such classics as ‘the drumming hooves of the cavalry’ and ‘squeeze the disease’. I’m now proud to introduce ‘your tier is not your destiny’.#DailyBriefing #Lockdown3 — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) November 26, 2020
2.
I swear Johnson's COVID tackling strategy is based on an escape room he once did on a stag do. https://t.co/J0rv9WZ4iA — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) November 26, 2020
3.
Each Tier will send one boy and one girl to a specially designed arena and… https://t.co/0vVPxfCVfH — Juno Dawson (@junodawson) November 26, 2020
4.
He's just quoting Star Wars now… https://t.co/FPA3Gnzn1e — Hannah O'Hanrahahanrahan (@buntyhoven) November 26, 2020
5.
It's beginning to sound like some kind of dystopian game show…. https://t.co/8V3VQO8jSZ — Tom Sutcliffe (@tds153) November 26, 2020
6.
your tier is not your density… destiny pic.twitter.com/byuKp078V3 — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) November 26, 2020
7.
Look forward to reading this quote as a tattoo someday <3 https://t.co/9w9yXPzTJ4 — Rhys James (@rhysjamesy) November 26, 2020
8.
Gone a bit Dungeon Master here. https://t.co/kbaqULYm1N — Rob Williams (@Robwilliams71) November 26, 2020
9.
10.
Tier of Destiny was the name of my college indie rock band. https://t.co/3AXlWBO9GP — I Am Incorrigible FCA (@ImIncorrigible) November 26, 2020
11.
why is boris johnson talking like an influencer on the gram https://t.co/hfq5yAxHvU — Kate Flood (@KateFlood) November 26, 2020
12.
Boris Johnson’s latest ridiculous saying is ‘Your tier is not your destiny.’ He’s about a week away from telling us to ‘Live, Laugh, Love’, isn’t he. — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) November 26, 2020
As we’ve seen so often, the PM’s optimism wasn’t exactly echoed by the experts.
Unfortunately, just after the PM said this, Chris Whitty, the Chief Medical Officer, said Tier 2 would only hold infections level, and Tier 1 would see them go up. That rather suggests if you’re in Tier 2, it is your destiny – at least until the Spring. https://t.co/g4sPI2UNLR — Mark Harper (@Mark_J_Harper) November 26, 2020
In this case, Johnson’s claim was followed by the science.
READ MORE
16 reactions to the Christmas Covid rules that are more ‘No way’ than ‘Noël’
Source BBC News Image Screengrab, Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-11-26--This gender reveal gets worse with each passing moment

We ’ re not sure why gender reveal parties have become such a popular thing , but they ’ re clearly here to stay – in spite of the fact that one of them started wildfires in El Dorado , while another actually killed a family member .
By that standard , clearly a non-lethal gender reveal is a sort of win , but by any other measure of success , this one is bad .
It all happens so quickly , we ’ ll give you the run down .
The baby ’ s big sister seems to get @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the bang .
Her mum angrily takes back the sharp object she ’ d handed to her young daughter .
The child screams and snatches the pointy thing back , before chucking it on the floor .
Mum slaps her for the tantrum and lets go of the all-important balloon .
Is there any part of this that isn ’ t a metaphorical bin fire ?
Originally shared by a now private Instagram account , Dlicht_ , it made its way to the r/PublicFreakout subreddit , which sounds about right , before ending @ @ @ @ @ @ @ few things to say about it .
It ’ s a testament to how bad that gender reveal was that it ’ s even worse than this one .
And it had set such a high bar of awfulness .

Videos
We’re not sure why gender reveal parties have become such a popular thing, but they’re clearly here to stay – in spite of the fact that one of them started wildfires in El Dorado, while another actually killed a family member.
By that standard, clearly a non-lethal gender reveal is a sort of win, but by any other measure of success, this one is bad.
This gender reveal went off the rails fast pic.twitter.com/t5vSyyMWDx — Podfathers Podcast (@PodfathersShow) November 23, 2020
It all happens so quickly, we’ll give you the run down.
The baby’s big sister seems to get a bit scared at the prospect of the bang. Her mum angrily takes back the sharp object she’d handed to her young daughter. The child screams and snatches the pointy thing back, before chucking it on the floor. Mum slaps her for the tantrum and lets go of the all-important balloon.
*Deep breath*
Is there any part of this that isn’t a metaphorical bin fire?
Originally shared by a now private Instagram account, Dlicht_, it made its way to the r/PublicFreakout subreddit, which sounds about right, before ending up on Twitter.
Redditors had a few things to say about it.
The balloon took that secret to the grave. Rumor is that 3mo after giving birth they STILL don’t know the gender!!! Only the balloon knows and it’s not telling anyone locally!
JemJemIsHerName
Once I remember these people have had to spend more time than usual together this year, I start to smile.
NinjaGrandma
Gender reveal parties are the Karen of parties.
J_I_S_B
Congratulations it’s a weather balloon!
Bucknut-59
It’s a testament to how bad that gender reveal was that it’s even worse than this one.
Why this gender reveal got me in tears. 😂 pic.twitter.com/apNGDthhaC — Emperious (@Emperious_) September 7, 2018
And it had set such a high bar of awfulness.
READ MORE
‘Gender reveal gone right’
Source r/PublicFreakout Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-11-27--British people are hilariously mocking the New York Post after they mistook Paris for London

When it comes to choosing a photograph to accompany a story about Britain , the most obvious choice might be @ @ @ @ @ one of the UK ’ s many towns , cities , or iconic landmarks .
@ @ @ @ @ working for the New York Post , apparently .
In a story about the UK @ @ @ @ @ ‘ Christmas bubbles ’ over the festive period , the decision was made to use @ @ @ @ @ in Paris .
In response , “ Marble Arch ” began trending on Twitter with @ @ @ @ @ someone at the New York Post mixed up London ’ s famous arch with its @ @ @ @ @ began sharing photos of their own photos of British landmarks , or , more accurately @ @ @ @ @ through the eyes of a New York-based tabloid .
Downing Street wanted Oxford ’ s @ @ @ @ @ UK flag on it – 17 favourite responses

Twitter
When it comes to choosing a photograph to accompany a story about Britain, the most obvious choice might be to use a photo of one of the UK’s many towns, cities, or iconic landmarks.
Not if you’re working for the New York Post, apparently. In a story about the UK’s plans to introduce ‘Christmas bubbles’ over the festive period, the decision was made to use a photo of the Champs-Élysées in Paris.
UK plans 'Christmas bubbles' for families to celebrate amid COVID-19 https://t.co/a4Zxqa4WWa pic.twitter.com/fdyEvKNSzC — New York Post (@nypost) November 27, 2020
In response, “Marble Arch” began trending on Twitter with the working theory being that someone at the New York Post mixed up London’s famous arch with its Parisian cousin.
Interesting to see why Marble Arch is trending. Meanwhile, I'm sitting here having a coffee at Brighton Pavilion pic.twitter.com/Ixv4jKoBKn — Tony Crawford (@UrbanGriller) November 27, 2020
People also began sharing photos of their own photos of British landmarks, or, more accurately, British landmarks as viewed through the eyes of a New York-based tabloid.
Here are hilarious 12 examples:
1.
Of course to get to Marble Arch from south London, you cross Tower Bridge pic.twitter.com/47olzRbRR8 — Lord Emperor GB (@LEmperorgb) November 27, 2020
2.
Travel north and soon you hit the Watford Gap… pic.twitter.com/tgj3XuRzwm — David Banks (@DBanksy) November 27, 2020
3.
Never mind Marble Arch, the main attraction this Christmas is, of course, Barnard Castle pic.twitter.com/momqRh5DUV — Svitlana (@SvitYarm) November 27, 2020
4.
Indeed, I’m hoping to visit Blaenau Ffestiniog and do some walking around the old slate mines pic.twitter.com/oq4fIyjByV — Richard W. Jones 🧹 🏴🇬🇧 ➡ (@richardwjones) November 27, 2020
5.
Marble Arch trending, so I thought I'd let you see the scene in Swiss cottage right now. pic.twitter.com/9SKTLledtR — Alan Gibbs 3.5% (@alan_gibbs) November 27, 2020
6.
And what London Christmas day is complete without a stroll up the snow covered peaks of Primrose Hill pic.twitter.com/XU9UvFpqth — Lenny Bruce (@gpdlondon) November 27, 2020
7.
https://twitter.com/DagenhamFrom/status/1332313418561441792
8.
https://twitter.com/DoomerCoomer/status/1332299654566907906
9.
I can’t wait for when St Paul’s Cathedral opens its doors pic.twitter.com/smEA2Wbl7Y — Macrobian Nomad (@3arabyAswad) November 27, 2020
READ MORE
Downing Street wanted Oxford’s Covid vaccine to have a UK flag on it – 17 favourite responses


thepoke--2020-11-27--Simply 14 of our favourite funny reactions to the 3-tier coronavirus rules

If you live in England , you ’ ll be emerging from lockdown next week , only to be plunged @ @ @ @ @ – now with added harshness .
Whatever tier you ’ re in , you ’ @ @ @ @ @ system isn ’ t as straightforward as it could be , and there ’ s @ @ @ @ @ about it on Twitter .
We rather liked these tweets .

Twitter
If you live in England, you’ll be emerging from lockdown next week, only to be plunged back into the three-tier system – now with added harshness.
Whatever tier you’re in, you’ve probably noticed that the system isn’t as straightforward as it could be, and there’s been a lot of talk about it on Twitter.
We rather liked these tweets.
1.
If unsure what the tiers mean are then read below : Tier 1 – Pints
Tier 2 – Pints with chips
Tier 3 – No Pints — Mark Hayes (@northernpromise) November 26, 2020
2.
Live scenes as regions in Tier 3 each begin selecting two candidates to go out and source food: pic.twitter.com/VbaRjBrOIu — Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) November 27, 2020
3.
Tier 1
Tier 2
Tier 3 pic.twitter.com/XQnnuXeisa — Michael Govern Ready (@mikegove12) November 26, 2020
4.
It might be helpful to re-categorise the Tier system in terms of their usefulness to the Government
Tier 1: Nice, quiet, loyal and affluent.
Tier 2: Hmmm, pockets of resistance but overall compliant. Won’t stick their necks out too much.
Tier 3: Frisky. Troublemakers. — Mrs Nigel Farage (@MrsNigel) November 26, 2020
5.
When you remember lockdown ends next week but then you realise you’re in tier 3. pic.twitter.com/odz5r6GWbL — Daniel Tom Clark (@Clark1995Clark) November 26, 2020
6.
Tier 1 / Tier 2 / Tier 3 pic.twitter.com/JupSCzQV1h — Scott Innes (@Flying_Inside) November 26, 2020
7.


thepoke--2020-11-27--Downing Street wanted Oxford’s Covid vaccine to have a UK flag on it – 17 favourite responses

It ’ s been reported by the Huffington Post that Downing Street wanted the coronavirus vaccine being developed by Oxford @ @ @ @ @ the UK flag .
Here ’ s a little bit of what the HuffPost reported @ @ @ @ @ whole story here ) .
‘ No 10′s newly-formed “ Union unit ” , tasked @ @ @ @ @ independence and other campaigns to break up the UK , wanted injection kits to bear @ @ @ @ @ asked the government ’ s vaccine task force to insist manufacturers of the vaccine – @ @ @ @ @ top university alongside pharmaceutical giant AstraZeneca – use the UK flag .
‘ No 10 @ @ @ @ @ for the Union Jack to be on doses , but did not deny that the @ @ @ @ @ to have strong backing from health secretary Matt Hancock and business secretary Alok Sharma – @ @ @ @ @ here are all our favourite things people said about that .

Twitter
It’s been reported by the Huffington Post that Downing Street wanted the coronavirus vaccine being developed by Oxford University to be labelled with the UK flag.
Exclusive: No.10 ‘Demanded UK Flag Be Printed On Oxford Vaccine Doses’https://t.co/bW0JWeMopf — Paul Waugh (@paulwaugh) November 27, 2020
Here’s a little bit of what the HuffPost reported (you can read the whole story here).
‘No 10′s newly-formed “Union unit”, tasked with fighting calls for Scottish independence and other campaigns to break up the UK, wanted injection kits to bear the flag. ‘It asked the government’s vaccine task force to insist manufacturers of the vaccine – developed by Britain’s top university alongside pharmaceutical giant AstraZeneca – use the UK flag. ‘No 10 said there were no plans for the Union Jack to be on doses, but did not deny that the request – said by insiders to have strong backing from health secretary Matt Hancock and business secretary Alok Sharma – had been made.’
And here are all our favourite things people said about that.
1.
OK guys. The Oxford Vaccine has arrived. pic.twitter.com/nWYKgRtA4l — Neil Scully (@neilscully) November 27, 2020
2.
"We just want a vaccine"
"MAKE IT PATRIOTIC"
"Why"
"CALL IT FREEDOM SAUCE"
"please just the vaccine"
"MAKE IT PLAY GOD SAVE THE QUEEN WHEN YOU OPEN IT"
"But"
"DOCTORS MUST DRESS AS BEEFEATERS WHILST INJECTING IT"
"can't we be a normal country"
"MAKE IT SMELL LIKE BREXIT"
"how" pic.twitter.com/atJavnGSAC — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) November 27, 2020
3.
https://twitter.com/RT_Green/status/1332310009359773697?s=20
4.
Unless my jab is administered by a British bulldog in a bowler hat Im afraid you may as well be whistling to the wind. No thank you. 🤨🇬🇧 https://t.co/3pVNxpTVX7 — alistair green (@mralistairgreen) November 27, 2020
5.
Personally I want the vaccine hand-delivered through my window in a Spitfire flown by Captain Tom, who will shed a tear as I self-inject and then let off a solo 21-gun salute https://t.co/OnimAm0Jw0 — Zing Tsjeng (@misszing) November 27, 2020
6.
https://twitter.com/SpillerOfTea/status/1332307066552274947?s=20
7.
the conspiracy: bill gates is using the vaccine to implant mind control chips into our blood to increase population control the reality: the government is using the vaccine to implant Flag into our blood to increase Patriotism https://t.co/je439bujkb — ǝıʇɐʞ (@supermathskid) November 27, 2020
8.


thepoke--2020-11-28--This bargain hunter’s hilarious tale of last-minute Christmas food shopping is simply glorious

This is just a brilliant tale that went viral on Twitter because it ’ s so heartwarming and hilarious .
@ @ @ @ @ shared by @ RichyCraven about the time he left his family ’ s Christmas food @ @ @ @ @ minute in the hope of getting some extra special bargains .
It was , in @ @ @ @ @ most stressed out he ’ s ever been about Christmas and it ’ s better @ @ @ @ @ ’ ll see on the telly .
This is why … And just a few @ @ @ @ @ saying about it after the story went wildly viral .
Richard Osman said you can @ @ @ @ @ by when they open their presents and it ’ s the gift that keeps on @

Twitter
This is just a brilliant tale that went viral on Twitter because it’s so heartwarming and hilarious.
It’s a story shared by @RichyCraven about the time he left his family’s Christmas food shopping until the very last minute in the hope of getting some extra special bargains.
It was, in his own words, the most stressed out he’s ever been about Christmas and it’s better than any Christmas advert you’ll see on the telly. This is why …
1.
The most stressed out I've ever been about Christmas was when I was 16 and I got my first ever job, working at M&S in Dundrum.
As soon as I started I kept hearing these myths about the Christmas Eve Waste Sale, where all the food that wasn't sold on the 24th was marked down 90%. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
2.
Everyone I worked with kept telling me not to get anything in beforehand because there was so much left that you could get your whole Christmas meal after the shop had shut on the 24th.
Dad & I argued for weeks about it. Going back & forward on whether to get a turkey beforehand — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
3.
Eventually, we decided we were going to risk it.
I was working until close on Xmas Eve anyway so my Dad said we might as well give it a go.
Before I went into work that day he told me “Just at least try and get a turkey, no matter what happens” — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
4.
It was the most stressed I’ve ever been working in retail (which is saying something). I worked in Home & Gifts so every chance I got I would sneak over to Foods and see how busy it was, how many turkeys were left.
It was so busy I was convinced that there’s be nothing left. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
5.
Eventually closing time rolls around and all the staff clock out and wait for the sale to start.
Now comes my next heart attack. I thought it was just whoever was working Christmas Eve that was able to go but the entire workforce has trickled in since closing and is waiting. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
6.
I’m 16 years old and I feel like my family’s entire Christmas is riding on me.
I swear to myself that, no matter what happens, I’m going to come out of this with at least a turkey. No matter who I have to bludgeon to do it.
Even if it means not having a job on the 26th. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
7.
The main Foods manager comes out and ceremoniously announces that we can go in and I stick the head down and charge.
I don’t go quite as far as to trample anyone but I can’t say I wouldn’t have itf it had come to it.
I’m convinced it’s going to be an all out brawl and… — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
8.
It’s like something out of a Harry Potter Christmas scene or the end of Fantastic Mr. Fox.
There is *so* much food left. Everyone there could have taken 2 turkeys and there still would have been some left.
This was Christmas 2006 btw. The height of the Celtic tiger. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
9.
I grab a Turkey the size of an American toddler and then I’m just kind of at a loss.
There’s really was so much left over. I ended up grabbing sausage stuffing, croquette potatoes, duck-fat roasters and candied parsnips and carrots. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
10.
I start to drift towards the tills and manager asks me what I’m doing.
I think I’ve taken too much, there’s some spending limit I haven’t heard of.
Instead he’s asking me why I’m wasting food and throws pork crackling and sticky toffee pudding into my basket. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
11.
I go to the till, expecting this to be the big reveal where it will actually end up costing me my entire month’s pay.
It costs 23 euro.
Now my only problem is that I have about 16 kg worth of food and I’ve arranged to meet my dad 2km away because Dundrum parking is extortion — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
12.
There’s also no point of ringing him and asking him to come closer because my Dad comes home from work every day and puts his phone in the kitchen drawer & that’s where it stays until he leaves for work the next morning.
Does this defeat the purpose of a mobile?
Yes, yes it does — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
13.
Anyway. I schlepp this bounty all the way to where we are supposed to meet and I see that he is literally pacing, at 11.00 Pm in December, outside his car.
He sees me and he looks like a husband waiting for his wife’s operation results. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
14.
When we went through the shopping bags in the boot of our Corolla I swear I got some inkling of what it must be like to win Wimbledon and then do that thing where you climb the stands to hug your parents. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
15.
He was instantly like “Rich, this is too much. How much did you spend? The whole idea is that this was supposed to cost less!”
I showed him the receipt and we ended up driving home blasting Springsteen the whole way. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
16.
Yes, Dad had to start prepping and cooking a turkey at 11.30 the night before but the next day we ate like Kings.
Or at the very least, people from Dalkey. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
17.
Anyways, the food was great and the best thing was thatdad made a big deal about me providing it.
Any time someone said they liked something he’d give me an elbow in the ribs.
By the end of the dinner you’d have sworn I’d taken the job as some sort of Oceans 11-style long-con — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
18.
Anyways, this Christmas is probably going to be a bit shit in comparison so it was nice to reminisce about a better one.
Also, I got a Creative Zen MP3 player which I’m still convinced is the pinnacle of music technology. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
19.
Reading over this, we come across a bit like the Cratchetts.
We weren’t needy or anything. We just couldn’t turn down the opportunity for cost-price pork crackling. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 26, 2020
20.
I’ve not known fear quite like writing this after a bottle of wine and then waking up to this many notifications. For those of you asking, my dad is very much still with us. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
21.
I just called him and told him about how he went viral on Twitter and his reaction was to take a beat, say “that’s nice” and then ask what I got mum for Christmas. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
22.
23.
The replies to this are equal parts lovely dad memories and people furious that the Creative Zen lost out to the iPod. — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
24.
I’ve nothing to plug but maybe consider throwing a donation here?
I try to donate on Toy Show Day to assuage the guilt of being so mean to children on Twitter. “Make a donation to Barnardos” https://t.co/ytKxTMPJxl — Richy Craven (@RichyCraven) November 27, 2020
And just a few of the things people were saying about it after the story went wildly viral.
https://twitter.com/MarianKeyes/status/1332267330722816001?s=20
This story is my favorite Christmas movie. https://t.co/h7JileLlUx — Adam Liaw (@adamliaw) November 27, 2020
This thread is just brilliant. Better than any Christmas ad. https://t.co/NeXjhIvv0x — Rachael English (@EnglishRachael) November 27, 2020
I love this – https://t.co/Z4MV4ML5fb — David Nicholls (@DavidNWriter) November 27, 2020
This is the best Christmas thread I've read on Twitter. Absolutely smashing. https://t.co/jL5udZLUez — Philip Nolan (@philipnolan1) November 27, 2020
If you’re looking for some good old, put a smile on your face joy today. This thread. https://t.co/bAFMiuP1CY — Lisa McGee (@LisaMMcGee) November 27, 2020
This is a fabulous story, wonderfully told, and the Dad in the film adaptation has to be played by Colm Meaney. Them’s the rules https://t.co/X5aFbDh9bj — Martin Doyle (@MartinDoyleIT) November 27, 2020
READ MORE
Richard Osman said you can tell people’s class by when they open their presents and it’s the gift that keeps on giving
Source Twitter @RichyCraven


‘My First Presidency™’

There was no shortage of fun to be had with Donald Trump ’ s tiny table and his comedy rant @ @ @ @ @ to ask him a question .
Now that memorable White House appearance has been captured @ @ @ @ @ toy and it went viral after it was shared by Jennifer Harris – @ jwharris @ @ @ @ @ Absolutely perfect !
And similar but different was this , shared by ohnoh18 over on @ @ @ @ @ the Christmas list with this one .
‘ Don ’ t talk to the president @ @ @ @ @ favourite responses to Donald Trump ’ s comedy strop AND EVEN MORE The 17 funniest @ @ @ @ @ and his tiny table

Pics
There was no shortage of fun to be had with Donald Trump’s tiny table and his comedy rant at a journalist who dared to ask him a question.
Maybe if you behave yourself, stop lying to undermine a fair election & start thinking of what's good for the country instead of whining about how unfairly you are treated, you'll be invited to sit at the big boy's table. #DiaperDon pic.twitter.com/nnNOoOI1gl — Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) November 27, 2020
Now that memorable White House appearance has been captured as a children’s toy and it went viral after it was shared by Jennifer Harris – @jwharris – over on Twitter.
Absolutely perfect! And similar but different was this, shared by ohnoh18 over on Reddit.
Stick it on the Christmas list with this one.
READ MORE
‘Don’t talk to the president that way!’ 9 favourite responses to Donald Trump’s comedy strop
AND EVEN MORE
The 17 funniest things people said about Trump and his tiny table
Source Twitter @jwharris Reddit u/ohnoh18


thepoke--2020-11-28--‘Thank you comedy gods!’ This unfortunately timed Christmas lights switch-on is an early festive tre

‘Thank you comedy gods!’ This unfortunately timed Christmas lights switch-on is an early festive treat

This unfortunately-timed Christmas lights switch-on is making people ’ s days just a little bit better .
The clip was @ @ @ @ @ and , well , enjoy the big countdown for yourself .
Could have been worse @ @ @ @ @ fire and burned the tree down .
‘ I can ’ t stop laughing at @ @ @ @ @ words ’

Videos
This unfortunately-timed Christmas lights switch-on is making people’s days just a little bit better.
The clip was shared by BBC Radio Somerset and, well, enjoy the big countdown for yourself.
The Christmas lights switch-on we all need in 2020 🤣 🤣 Timing is everything for @TownBridgwater, @Townmayor and @thetoptory 🎄 ✨ pic.twitter.com/CrvUzZmZXm — BBC Radio Somerset (@bbcsomerset) November 27, 2020
Could have been worse. They could have caught fire and burned the tree down.
THANK YOU COMEDY GODS. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. https://t.co/JfqGd8u8rO — Greg James (@gregjames) November 27, 2020
Premature Illumination — Emma (@nickschickuk) November 27, 2020
Show it backwards when Xmas is over so it looks like they are switching them off. That’ll work. — Squishmitten (@SquishMitten) November 27, 2020
READ MORE
‘I can’t stop laughing at this. I have no words’
Source BBC Radio Somerset


thepoke--2020-11-29--People doubt a 10-foot plinth will protect the new Margaret Thatcher statue – our 9 favourite respon

People doubt a 10-foot plinth will protect the new Margaret Thatcher statue – our 9 favourite responses

It ’ s 30 years , almost to the day , since Margaret Thatcher left Downing Street , having made @ @ @ @ @ first woman PM of the UK .
She is to be honoured with a statue @ @ @ @ @ , Lincolnshire , having been rejected for a spot in Parliament Square – but , @ @ @ @ @ here , some precautions will be taken to protect the sculpture .
The very fact @ @ @ @ @ on a statue of Thatcher – or any statue – didn ’ t go down @ @ @ @ @ the former PM have famously not fared very well .
People weren ’ t convinced @ @ @ @ @ achieve its goal , not least because of this : Here are a few more @ @ @ @ @ d enjoy .
Author Nick Pettigrew had another prediction about Thatcher ’ s statue .
@ @ @ @ @ Gillian Anderson to unveil it and do the voice .
BBC News just said Margaret @ @ @ @ @ election and it ’ s the biggest shock so far

Twitter
It’s 30 years, almost to the day, since Margaret Thatcher left Downing Street, having made her controversial mark as the first woman PM of the UK.
She is to be honoured with a statue in her birthplace of Grantham, Lincolnshire, having been rejected for a spot in Parliament Square – but, as the local newspaper reports here, some precautions will be taken to protect the sculpture.
The statue will be on a 10ft plinth to avoid vandalism https://t.co/VXRM9nXW6J — The Lincolnite (@thelincolnite) November 27, 2020
The very fact that £100,000 would be spent on a statue of Thatcher – or any statue – didn’t go down well.
Lincolnshire has one in six children living in poverty but they’ll flush money away on this ridiculous tribute to a woman who caused untold suffering and misery. https://t.co/yHEML4sI2k — Harriet Williamson (@harriepw) November 28, 2020
It is somewhat proper that £100,000 will be spent unveiling a statue to Margaret Thatcher during a time when the neoliberal orthodoxy she thrust upon the country tells us that we can’t afford to give key workers a pay rise https://t.co/AGHJDalKlU — Liam Young (@liamyoung) November 28, 2020
Previous figures of the former PM have famously not fared very well.
in the 80s someone broke into the wax museum in dublin and sliced off thatcher’s face and left a sword from one of the other exhibits in her . we need more crime like this ! crime can be good ! pic.twitter.com/mXRcPiNwVC — aisling ! ¡ (@aislingonline) May 2, 2020
People weren’t convinced that the tall plinth would achieve its goal, not least because of this:
The Edward Colston statue was set on top of a 10 ft 6 in plinth. https://t.co/Qv57QHsAF8 — Michael (@Michael_Dunn4) November 28, 2020
Here are a few more reactions we thought you’d enjoy.
1.
*Ron Howard voice* It did not avoid vandalism https://t.co/V7E7S134Vv — Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) November 28, 2020
2.
1: I think a lot of people will visit Grantham. 2: Most of them will envy pigeons.https://t.co/0tQbT1TpzD — Denis Skinner (@BolsoverBeast) November 28, 2020
3.
Lol. 10ft. They could put it on the fucking moon surrounded by an array of futuristic laser guns and it would still end up getting yeeted into the outer reaches of the solar system. https://t.co/C7DOpYGf5i —  Mary ChristMax  (@SpillerOfTea) November 28, 2020
4.
About the depth of a major river. https://t.co/2haYauk5EN — Dr Ben 'Ward Viking' Janaway (@drjanaway) November 28, 2020
5.
And you thought the spoons toilets were a difficult climb https://t.co/nxD07GGMJ2 — xand (@stick2yourpuns) November 28, 2020
6.
7.
I believe what they’ve done there is simply created an element of challenge rather than prevention https://t.co/YIUjrBEp2d — mothman roadkill (@AliceAvizandum) November 28, 2020
8.
9.
I feel like if you need to build a 10 ft plinth to avoid vandals for your shitty statue _maybe_ the person you're making a statue of should not be made into a statue — The VEE awards (@CrystallineVee) November 28, 2020
Author Nick Pettigrew had another prediction about Thatcher’s statue.
"It's weird. Every evening I file down these talons and every morning when I come in they've grown again." pic.twitter.com/e40vTS2Fxf — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) November 28, 2020
We just hope they get Gillian Anderson to unveil it and do the voice.
READ MORE
BBC News just said Margaret Thatcher was tweeting about the election and it’s the biggest shock so far
Source The Lincolnite Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-11-29--Ocean Spray’s new holiday season cranberry sauce ad is marketing done right

The cranberry processing brand , Ocean Spray , has had some pretty effective free advertising recently , alongside Fleetwood Mac @ @ @ @ @ viral TikTok .
In the spirit of ‘ If it ain ’ t broke … @ @ @ @ @ to stick with TikTok for their 2020 holiday season cranberry sauce advert – released in @ @ @ @ @ relevant to the Christmas season too .
Created by and featuring musician and TikToker , @ @ @ @ @ s certainly nothing like any mainstream ad campaign we ’ ve ever seen – and @ @ @ @ @ .
Twitter was very much on board .
Finally , Ocean Spray , who make @ @ @ @ @ the ad and sell fresh cranberries for people to make their own version , had @ @ @ @ @ intended , just not very good .
This guy chilling to Fleetwood Mac has gone @ @ @ @ @ giving us life goals

Videos
The cranberry processing brand, Ocean Spray, has had some pretty effective free advertising recently, alongside Fleetwood Mac in @420doggface208’s viral TikTok.
In the spirit of ‘If it ain’t broke …’ they’ve decided to stick with TikTok for their 2020 holiday season cranberry sauce advert – released in time for Thanksgiving, but relevant to the Christmas season too.
Created by and featuring musician and TikToker, John Moon, it’s certainly nothing like any mainstream ad campaign we’ve ever seen – and it’s very funny.
Twitter was very much on board.
s/o to ocean spray for giving this the green light pic.twitter.com/kM3TgCc4M2 — Nathan Allebach (@nathanallebach) November 26, 2020
100K likes and a half million views (and rising) https://t.co/eX93ojhC0P — Washington Post TikTok Guy Comma Georgia (@davejorgenson) November 27, 2020
Ocean spray: the 2020 hero we didn’t know we needed https://t.co/cWtySVA5Rl — Nellie Maher (@nelliemaher) November 26, 2020
I am pissing my pants at this 😂 https://t.co/RkFHop3Qbs — Phil Bourque (@pbourque29) November 26, 2020
feeling personally attacked rn https://t.co/b9dhDIeBE7 — Ryan Block (@ryan) November 26, 2020
Finally, Ocean Spray, who make the canned cranberry sauce from the ad and sell fresh cranberries for people to make their own version, had this canny* comment.
*Pun intended, just not very good.
Tbh… we like both 😳 https://t.co/JZaxab11Pj — Ocean Spray (@OceanSprayInc) November 26, 2020
READ MORE
This guy chilling to Fleetwood Mac has gone viral because he’s giving us life goals
Source Ocean Spray Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-11-29--11 suitably scornful reactions to the idea that Netflix should label The Crown as fiction

Season 4 of the Netflix series following the life of Queen Elizabeth II and her close family , The Crown @ @ @ @ @ s attention even more than the previous three , largely due to the introduction of @ @ @ @ @ Anderson ‘ s portrayal of Margaret Thatcher .
If you ’ ve seen it , @ @ @ @ @ of the dramatic scenes viewers have witnessed of the private lives of the Royals , @ @ @ @ @ that it ’ s a documentary , yet the front page of the Daily Mail @ @ @ @ @ treat that headline with the contempt it deserves .
Steven Thomas had more shocking news @ @ @ @ @ This short sketch of season 4 of The Crown is 2 minutes and 15 seconds @ @ @

Twitter
Season 4 of the Netflix series following the life of Queen Elizabeth II and her close family, The Crown, has grabbed people’s attention even more than the previous three, largely due to the introduction of Princess Diana – and Gillian Anderson‘s portrayal of Margaret Thatcher.
If you’ve seen it, you’ll be aware of the dramatic scenes viewers have witnessed of the private lives of the Royals, leaving you under no illusion that it’s a documentary, yet the front page of the Daily Mail features this:
These comments treat that headline with the contempt it deserves.
1.
2.
TOMORROW: Minister tells Netflix: Warn viewers The Crown is fiction…as they have previously been fooled by a bus.#TomorrowsPapersToday#DailyMailFrontPages pic.twitter.com/gdgo7jBOdo — The DM Reporter (@DMReporter) November 28, 2020
3.
Dude, the whole concept of monarchy is fiction. pic.twitter.com/OT99DnTFbQ — Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) November 28, 2020
4.
This isn’t really the Queen for those who can’t tell pic.twitter.com/xx3GGSoEz6 — Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) November 28, 2020
5.
Paper cheering on Brexit fantasies wants drama to be labelled fiction pic.twitter.com/1DsS6y8Ros — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) November 28, 2020
6.
The fun thing is you think who would be so wretchedly dumb as to say this & at least nine Ministers immediately spring to mind pic.twitter.com/f5zqgSF3Ga — tom jamieson (@jamiesont) November 28, 2020
7.
excited that we are in a place in our culture wars where the right are on board with trigger warnings, but only when used to explain the concept of historical fiction pic.twitter.com/KknXvOuqzw — Dr Charlotte Lydia Riley (@lottelydia) November 28, 2020
8.
As someone who has watched all 218 X-Files episodes, I regret to inform you all TV is 100% fact pic.twitter.com/8wew1WBYJo — Dawn Foster (@DawnHFoster) November 29, 2020
9.
Petition for Netflix to make The Crown more reality-based by having it automatically redirect to Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich pic.twitter.com/djWML7f414 — TheIainDuncanSmiths (@TheIDSmiths) November 28, 2020
10.
The RSC should do this for all of Shakespeare's history plays too. This nonsense has gone on far too long. pic.twitter.com/SF8Iy2fJhY — Simon Blackwell (@simonblackwell) November 28, 2020
11.
I’ve never seen The Crown but whenever I see clips or pics from it, I can’t get past the way everyone in it looks like the royal family would look if they were painted on the side of a fairground ride https://t.co/WPkgwTuZtl — Red Sky At Night (@redskyatnight) November 28, 2020
Steven Thomas had more shocking news for the anonymous minister.
Wait till someone tells the Minister that Danny Dyer doesn’t actually run a pub. https://t.co/zOGCLkCFgQ — Steven Thomas (@TheStevenThomas) November 28, 2020
Finally …some food for thought.
But where is the warning label on Daily Mail content? pic.twitter.com/UEGyS2y5CE — The Poke (@ThePoke) November 29, 2020
READ MORE
This short sketch of season 4 of The Crown is 2 minutes and 15 seconds very well spent
Source Twitter Image Henry Mance


thepoke--2020-11-29--Christmas cards to sum up 2020

Christmas cards to sum up 2020

This year , putting it very mildly , hasn ’ t been the greatest of years , so we ’ @ @ @ @ @ that we feel are apt in summing up 2020 .

Exclusive
This year, putting it very mildly, hasn’t been the greatest of years, so we’ve designed some Christmas cards that we feel are apt in summing up 2020.


thepoke--2020-11-30--The joyous takedown of this anti-masker went viral because it’s sheer perfection

A late contender for comeback of the year comes courtesy of this exchange with an anti-masker on Twitter which went @ @ @ @ @ ’ s just so good .
If only life always worked out like that .
@ @ @ @ @ the people who shared it today .
And it didn ’ t end there , @ @ @ @

Twitter
A contender for comeback of the year comes courtesy of this exchange on Twitter which went wildly viral today because it’s just so good.
It begins with an anti-masker who suggests it really isn’t a good idea to wear a mask to help stop the spread of Covid-19 because, well, best have a read for yourself.
Boom!
If only life always worked out as beautifully as this.
And just a few of the people who were sharing it today, making everyone’s lives just that little bit better.
2020 in a nutshell right here. pic.twitter.com/jZvMGK9Jlt — Pete Deveson (@PeteDeveson) November 30, 2020
I like to call this one "The persistence of stupidity" pic.twitter.com/Go0tQchr05 — David Ziggy Greene (S&H illustrated reports) (@SaHreports) November 30, 2020
On the bright side they no longer have to worry about mask death pic.twitter.com/8uCP2eOW7z — James Felton (@JimMFelton) November 30, 2020
And the exchange didn’t end there, it turned out.
READ MORE
Covidiot takedown of the day
Source Twitter @rcantelo Image Pexels


thepoke--2020-11-30--The unexplained monolith in Utah has mysteriously vanished – 9 out of this world reactions

A brief recap : Last week , in an occurrence that makes perfect sense in 2020 , a mysterious monolith was discovered in Utah .
CNN reported that the object was spotted by officers from the Utah Department of Public Safety as they were flying overhead : “ We were kind of joking around that if one of us suddenly disappears , then the rest of us make a run for it.
” Most people theorized that the unexplained object was the work of an artist , with a New York gallery going as far as identifying it as a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ While others , naturally , and more entertainingly , assumed the origins to be a little more extra-terrestrial .
Well , in the latest twist in the tale , the monolith has now vanished as mysteriously as it first appeared .
In a statement posted on Facebook , the Utah Bureau of Land Management said : “ The BLM did not remove the structure which is considered private property.
” Here are 9 hilarious responses to keep you distracted while the monolith decides its next move : We ’ ll keep you updated @ @ @ @ @ @ @ have been trying to outpun each other – and these 27 are very punny indeed

News
A brief recap: Last week, in an occurrence that makes perfect sense in 2020, a mysterious monolith was discovered in Utah.
CNN reported that the object was spotted by officers from the Utah Department of Public Safety as they were flying overhead: “We were kind of joking around that if one of us suddenly disappears, then the rest of us make a run for it.”
Officers from the Utah Department of Public Safety's Aero Bureau were flying by helicopter last Wednesday, helping the Division of Wildlife Resources count bighorn sheep, when they spotted a shiny, silver metal monolith sticking out of the ground https://t.co/v3Ny7QWDQo — CNN (@CNN) November 24, 2020
Most people theorized that the unexplained object was the work of an artist, with a New York gallery going as far as identifying it as a piece by minimalist sculptor John McCracken.
While others, naturally, and more entertainingly, assumed the origins to be a little more extra-terrestrial.
When you’re falling asleep but realize you forgot your monolith in Utah pic.twitter.com/64DLwTuVSt — Diego Lopez (@thisdiegolopez) November 25, 2020
Well, in the latest twist in the tale, the monolith has now vanished as mysteriously as it first appeared. In a statement posted on Facebook, the Utah Bureau of Land Management said: “The BLM did not remove the structure which is considered private property.”
The mysterious metal monolith that was found last week in the Utah desert has vanished. https://t.co/tUFYRCfhe0 — The New York Times (@nytimes) November 29, 2020
Here are 9 hilarious responses to keep you distracted while the monolith decides its next move:
1.
Relax. The prophesy foretells that we'll be fine as long as nothing happens to the mysterious monolith in Utah. — Walter Shaub (@waltshaub) November 29, 2020
2.
I’m calling it now, the monolith saga is just the beginning of the introduction to aliens. What? Were you really expecting 2020 to NOT end with aliens? — Santiago Mayer (@santiagomayer_) November 30, 2020
3.
the mysterious monolithic metal structure in the deserts of Utah: pic.twitter.com/OQMOu4xcS8 — Eric Allen Hatch (@ericallenhatch) November 30, 2020
4.
a little embarrassing but have you guys seen my giant silver monolith anywhere? — kc green (@kcgreenn) November 29, 2020
5.
You know in the horror movie where the big scary thing that's about to happen is just playing in the background on the news for the first 15 minutes? That's how I feel about the Utah desert monolith. — Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) November 29, 2020
6.
Where did it come from
Where did it go
The Utah monolith,
Cotton-Eyed Joe — James (@pageofabook) November 29, 2020
7.
My gf loves desert monoliths and I had one set up in Utah with her favorite dimensions. Taking her there now to propose 🙂 — Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) November 30, 2020
8.
https://twitter.com/brooklynrofl/status/1333083208800321536
9.
We’ll keep you updated on all future monolith news.
READ MORE
People have been trying to outpun each other – and these 27 are very punny indeed
Source: @nytimes / @CNN / Utah Department of Public Safety


thepoke--2020-11-30--Gary Lineker’s always owning Piers Morgan on Twitter – 9 golden greats

Many happy returns to Gary Lineker who turned 60 – 60 !
– today .
If we look half as @ @ @ @ @ ’ re 60 , well , anyway .
The former England footballer has added several @ @ @ @ @ hanging up his boots , like presenting Match of the Day and selling Walker ’ @ @ @ @ @ .
He ’ s also become rather adept at owning Piers Morgan on Twitter and @ @ @ @ @ very favourites .
So naturally Morgan joined in and it went from there .
5 @ @ @ @ @ or not ) 7 .
On playing for England ( part two ) 9 .
@ @ @ @ @ Piers Morgan tweeted a photo of himself with Gary Lineker ’ s then wife , @ @ @

Celebrity
Many happy returns to Gary Lineker who turned 60 – 60! – today. If we look half as good as Lineker when we’re 60, well, anyway.
The former England footballer has added several strings to his bow since hanging up his boots, like presenting Match of the Day and selling Walker’s crisps, for instance.
He’s also become rather adept at owning Piers Morgan on Twitter and here are 9 of our very favourites.
1. On Piers Morgan’s Spitting Image puppet
The first time I can recall a spitting image puppet to be actually quite flattering, @piersmorgan pic.twitter.com/kHPDu2orCm — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) September 30, 2020
2. On cricketing insults
Interesting to see Ian Chappell so outraged & offended by Aussies sledging Poms.
This is the same Ian Chappell who when I politely said hello to him in Melbourne, responded by calling me a ‘dickhead’. https://t.co/iPrtxsyddM — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) September 15, 2019
To be fair to him, that’s not sledging, that’s just an honest observation. https://t.co/tXFGLf2ycZ — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) September 15, 2019
3. On playing for England
Remind me again how many international trophies or English league titles you won in your glittering career? https://t.co/RaNaFB7A0X — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 23, 2018
None, but I shat on the pitch at a World Cup once. How many people can say that? https://t.co/mTNiiUJJdk — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 23, 2018
4. On the royal family
Families fall out. It’s hard enough without the whole world judging & haranguing you. Yes, the Royal family is a weird concept. A strange job that brings absurd entitlement, but they’re still human beings with foibles and feelings. Meanwhile Australia is on fire and war threatens — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) 10 January 2020
BREAKING: Lineker brands Royal Family ‘weird’ & ‘absurd’ whilst saying we should be mindful of their feelings… https://t.co/ezKsNiAodM — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) 10 January 2020
The concept of having a Royal family, not the family itself. Twist it anyway you like, Tubs. Once a tabloid editor, always a tabloid editor. 🙄 https://t.co/tdUCWtb5pi — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) 10 January 2020
I don’t want to damage your knighthood ambitions, Jugs, but speaking as a former editor (who loves tabloids), you said ‘the Royal family’ not ‘a Royal family’ so your ‘weird’ & ‘absurd’ dig was clearly aimed at THIS Royal family. Unless you want to admit to being illiterate? https://t.co/Lh96fzQGu4 — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) 10 January 2020
I don’t have any knighthood ambitions. You’re obsession with these two people is most certainly weird. https://t.co/X9mmbsvr9p — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) 10 January 2020
Finally you’re right about something. https://t.co/nbRvlet9tk — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) 10 January 2020
5. On footballers diving (or not)
Stop defending the indefensible. https://t.co/4VGUUVRSnR — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) November 7, 2018
6. On ‘hacking’
Monday blues? Here’s a video of a goat playing with a dog that might cheer you up. https://t.co/lnon62A9U9 — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) July 30, 2018
Fabulous.
This is like watching @Lord_Sugar & @GaryLineker trying to keep up with me on Twitter. https://t.co/gwUgJFfs7z — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) July 31, 2018
With your jowls, you resemble the dog more than the goat. https://t.co/cEtcUT6v3T — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) July 31, 2018
To be fair, the dog's actually trying to tackle Messi, so any comparison with you is obviously flawed. https://t.co/j1d6zc2AH4 — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) July 31, 2018
Correct, never hacked anyone. Another lovely ball across the 6 yard box, cheers. https://t.co/VetMz2TECQ — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) July 31, 2018
7. On playing for England (part two)
The feeling when scoring for your country in World Cup Quarter Finals is indescribable. Come On England. https://t.co/RvP78G0Ibz — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) July 7, 2018
Love all these #humblebrag posts, Jugs. Do you have any videos of you scoring in a European Championship or World Cup Final? https://t.co/91BSTt1V7t — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) July 7, 2018
Haven’t played in one, sadly. Got a World semi-final one ready if England make it. Looking forward to your video scoring for Harlow College 3rd XI. https://t.co/NKngIfVHwQ — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) July 7, 2018
8. On nuclear weapons
Seems a lot of folk like the idea of nuclear war. Can’t see the positives, personally. — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 2, 2017
If you commit £150 billion of taxpayer money to a nuclear defence, you must be prepared to use it. No? https://t.co/hmM5fFyXCK — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 2, 2017
Yeah, it would be a complete waste of money if we don’t kill millions and destroy the planet. https://t.co/q5QC31Fvx3 — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 2, 2017
9. And finally, when Piers Morgan tweeted a photo of himself with Gary Lineker’s then wife, Danielle Bux
“@piersmorgan: Hi Jugs @GaryLineker – all under control here. #RoyalAscot pic.twitter.com/BbzltTMwk0” < Closest she’s been to a dick for a while — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 17, 2014
@GaryLineker certainly of that size. — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 17, 2014
@piersmorgan I’ll give you that. You’re an enormous dick! — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 17, 2014
Final score: 9 – 0.
READ MORE
People are enjoying how Gary Lineker is tackling the BBC’s new impartiality guidelines
Source Twitter @GaryLineker


thepoke--2020-11-30--People have been trying to outpun each other – and these 27 are very punny indeed

Over on Twitter , people have been playing around with a joke format involving puns , and it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ far too many to share , so you should hop over and read them for @ @ @ @ @ you ’ ve seen these fantastic examples .

Twitter
Over on Twitter, people have been playing around with a joke format involving puns, and it’s taken over.
Via
There are far too many to share, so you should hop over and read them for yourself, but not until you’ve seen these fantastic examples.
1.
I have a Venus de Milo joke. It’s fairly ‘armless https://t.co/UljATlCw1m — Gerry McBride (@GerryMcBride) November 28, 2020
2.
I have a Munch joke. It's a scream. https://t.co/QWW3dOkqjE — 📻 Ed Smith 📻 (@EdTodayFM) November 28, 2020
3.
I have a microbiology joke but I'm afraid it will go viral. https://t.co/wNFYCvWWO4 — Elizabeth Bear (@matociquala) November 26, 2020
4.
I have a defibrillator joke, but frankly it's shocking. https://t.co/PABjQ4rC57 — Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) November 26, 2020
5.
I have a Picasso joke but it’s blue. https://t.co/8de3EWengv — Bebe Neuwirth (@BebeNeuwirth) November 27, 2020
6.
I have a Schroëdinger joke, and I don't have a Schroëdinger joke. — Wonko the Saini (@javagrendel) November 27, 2020
7.
I have a Van Gogh joke but no one will listen https://t.co/pDH3GTgyrE — shauna (@goldengateblond) November 27, 2020
8.
I have a @realDonaldTrump joke but it's just too crazy. — George Conway (@gtconway3d) November 29, 2020
9.
I have a joke about copyright, but you've probably heard it before. — Joanne Harris (@Joannechocolat) July 26, 2020
10.
I have a good Rihanna joke but oh Na Na — lil Tarzan (@carlkaepernick) November 30, 2020
11.
I have a joke about trickle down economics, but 99% of the population won’t get it… — Steve Anderson (@tiedyesteve_com) November 28, 2020
12.
I have a placebo joke that I often tell without effect. — Joseph L. Mills MD (@jmills1955) November 28, 2020
13.
i have a joke about Eric Clapton but it's overrated and pretty racist — november blaine (@blainecapatch) November 28, 2020
14.


thepoke--2020-11-30--17 people who didn’t get the order they were expecting

The unstoppable rise of online shopping over the last few decades no doubt has its advantages .
But it also @ @ @ @ @ someone accidentally posting you their evening dinner – weirdly specific , but it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ examples of people not getting what they ordered : 9 people who got caught lying @ @ @ @ @ possible way

Pics
The unstoppable rise of online shopping over the last few decades no doubt has its advantages. But it also has its disadvantages, like someone accidentally posting you their evening dinner – weirdly specific, but it’s happened…
Here are 17 other examples of people not getting what they ordered:
1.
https://twitter.com/rosa_falcini/status/1251489889763373062
2.
https://twitter.com/LawrenceKailey/status/1064600508902469632
3.
Losing it at this pic.twitter.com/XZVLFUXSgt — Joe (@goulcher) June 10, 2020
4.
https://twitter.com/AndyLeeman91/status/845030582744682496
5.
My mom used the dominos app for the first time and forgot to get sauce and cheese. Dead pic.twitter.com/cAhd1ymMsg — bj stead (@whosrobertseed) July 7, 2017
6.
Incredible scenes as the Xmas food delivery arrives, my mum has managed to order a single sprout. pic.twitter.com/9odDa5gNXA — Keir (@Kingkeir) December 22, 2016
7.
Thanks for the flowers substitution @sainsburys ! pic.twitter.com/6rhZqDmTtU — S U Z A N N E (@SuzanneBradish) February 29, 2016
8.
https://twitter.com/COBIZZZLE/status/696336539819884545
9.
10.
Ayy @ASOS (I might be wrong) but, I’m pretty sure you’ve sent me the wrong order… pic.twitter.com/mFRTi3yg6T — DYLAN EVANS (@MrDylanEvans) April 11, 2018
11.
12.
Right has someone put me down to get samples of astroturf? This is the second delivery in 2 days & I'm running out of things to do with them pic.twitter.com/55KpRTn9pQ — Forrest (@alexforrest0107) September 27, 2016
13.
Tried to buy a doormat and here's what arrived: a piece of foam with a photo of the thing I wanted printed on it. pic.twitter.com/sqK7vgH7Ii — Emily Heller (@MrEmilyHeller) July 20, 2016
14.
Can’t quite believe my eyes pic.twitter.com/pYWIo70OMt — ES ❥ (@ell_spencex) May 16, 2020
15.
Losing my mind because i ordered what I thought was a very affordable wool sweater (like Chris Evans in Knives Out obviously) from a Norwegian website and what I got was the raw materials necessary to create said sweater myself pic.twitter.com/7G3GCYDGSf — Dan Sheehan (@ItsDanSheehan) January 8, 2020
16.
https://twitter.com/gregecky/status/984847931978190848
17.
so my mom accidentally ordered an xs dog bed but he's still grateful.. pic.twitter.com/Lm5rfdIWeL — pae❁ (@paetonmathes) April 11, 2017
READ MORE
9 people who got caught lying on Facebook in the best possible way


thepoke--2020-11-30--This woman messing around with a wind turbine shadow has the perfect payoff

Here ’ s seven seconds well spent , a woman messing around with the shadow of a wind turbine and @ @ @ @ @ , but it ends even better .
Simply 13 funny dog ( and cat ) @ @ @ @ @ a little bit better

Videos
Here’s seven seconds well spent, a woman messing around with the shadow of a wind turbine and we thought it was good, but it ends even better.
Didn’t see that coming.
I’ve been watching this way longer than I should be 🤣 — I’M CALM (@EllyIsALady) November 28, 2020
Thank you for this post, my first real laugh today 😂🤗 — Kathy Mulhall (@kmsmulhall) November 28, 2020
Cardio sure does take the wind out of you — Brandy Bryant (@ComedyBrandyB) November 28, 2020
READ MORE
Simply 13 funny dog (and cat) collars to make your day a little bit better
Source Twitter @BestVideosBest @RexChapman


thepoke--2020-11-30--Simply 13 funny dog (and cat) collars to make your day a little bit better

Turns out dog ( and cat ) collars don ’ t just have to be functional , they can be @ @ @ @ @ 9 are excellent examples of how … And there ’ s a bunch more funny @ @ @ @ @ .

Pics
Turns out dog (and cat) collars don’t just have to be functional, they can be funny too. And these 13 are excellent examples of how …
1.
(via Reddit)
2.
(via Reddit)
3.
(via Imgur)
4.
(via Imgur)
5.
(via Etsy)
6.
(via Reddit)
7.
(via Facebook)


thepoke--2020-11-30--Covidiot takedown of the day

Covidiot takedown of the day

The latest in our occasional series of covidiots being put exactly where they belong comes this .
It was shared @ @ @ @ @ said : ‘ Yes , sit down , please.
’ And just a few of @ @ @ @ @ it .
‘ 2020 : The year millions of people who ’ s never worked @ @ @ @ @ medical experts.
’ HardPawns ‘ Fucking telling an actual goddamn nurse to “ do their @ @ @ @ @ ‘ So , someone who didn ’ t do their homework , is telling other @ @ @ @ @ , what a surprise.
’ dudemykar Similar but different was this , another glorious covidiot @ @ @ @ @ back .

Weird World
The latest in our occasional series of covidiots being put exactly where they belong comes this.
It was shared on Reddit by beerbellygone who said: ‘Yes, sit down, please.’
And just a few of the things people said about it.
‘2020: The year millions of people who’s never worked in health care instantly became medical experts.’ HardPawns ‘Fucking telling an actual goddamn nurse to “do their homework”.’ Skyaboo- ‘So, someone who didn’t do their homework, is telling other people to do their homework, what a surprise.’ dudemykar
Similar but different was this, another glorious covidiot takedown, a few days back.
READ MORE
This couple having a baby asked their neighbours to cook for them and that was only the start
Source Reddit u/beerbellygone


thepoke--2020-11-30--‘If Charlie Chaplin Made Se7en’

‘If Charlie Chaplin Made Se7en’

Comedian Seán Burke is the man who brought us this hilarious and absolutely not safe for work mask advice .
@ @ @ @ @ too relatable sketch about McDonald ’ s .
Now , he ’ s ventured into @ @ @ @ @ with what we really hope will be the first in a long series .
It @ @ @ @ @ but you ’ ve had since 1995 to watch it , and there ’ s @ @ @ @ @ scene , so get over yourself .
We ’ re now waiting to see if @ @ @ @ @ Boyle ‘ s suggestion .
McDonald ’ s is preparing to open and this hilariously @ @ @ @

Videos
Comedian Seán Burke is the man who brought us this hilarious and absolutely not safe for work mask advice.
People who wear face masks incorrectly. pic.twitter.com/hr02KucBFJ — Seán Burke (@SeanBurkeShow) July 17, 2020
He also made this far too relatable sketch about McDonald’s.
McDonald’s staff preparing to reopen pic.twitter.com/Er0qaQF3Oq — Seán Burke (@SeanBurkeShow) May 20, 2020
Now, he’s ventured into the world of film, with what we really hope will be the first in a long series.
It contains spoilers for Se7en, but you’ve had since 1995 to watch it, and there’s a popular meme about this scene, so get over yourself.
If Charlie Chaplin Made 'Se7en' (Spoilers) pic.twitter.com/PoJvKaylB4 — Seán Burke (@SeanBurkeShow) November 27, 2020
The director’s cut.
Twitter, quite rightly, appreciated Seán’s work.
This is brilliant — Ed Solomon (@ed_solomon) November 27, 2020
Well this is frankly spectacular and I genuinely hope Seán does this on the regular. https://t.co/FmL3v9lMzk — Matthew Stogdon (@stoghz) November 27, 2020
This is so good https://t.co/UfEdrp8Tc7 — Scott Forsyth (@scottoland) November 27, 2020
This is truly the most insane thing I’ve seen you do. I applaud it — Michael Fry (@BigDirtyFry) November 27, 2020
That is just perfect. — Carl Kinsella (@TVsCarlKinsella) November 27, 2020
We’re now waiting to see if he takes up Seán Oh Boyle‘s suggestion.
Also I demand a Three Stooges version of the Usual Suspects — Seán Oh Boyle (@SeanOhBoyle) November 27, 2020
“Who’s on First?” “Keyser Soze.”
READ MORE
McDonald’s is preparing to open and this hilariously believable sketch shows how
Source Seán Burke Image Screengrab