thepoke--2020-07-03--Boris Johnson said he ‘doesn’t believe in gestures’ and the entire internet spoke as one

Boris Johnson said today he would not take the knee , a symbol of support for Black Lives Matter protests @ @ @ @ @ t believe in gestures .
Here ’ s what he told Nick Ferrari on LBC @ @ @ @ @ t want people to be bullied into doing things they don ’ t necessarily want @ @ @ @ @ not believe in gestures , I believe in substance.
” And the entire internet responded @ @ @ @ @ you want the conclusive run-down of every time Johnson didn ’ t believe in gestures @ @ @ @ @ it for you … 8 favourite reactions to Boris Johnson ’ s dad flying to @ @ @ @

Twitter
Boris Johnson said today he would not take the knee, a symbol of support for Black Lives Matter protests, because he doesn’t believe in gestures.
Here’s what he told Nick Ferrari on LBC.
When asked whether he would take the knee, Boris Johnson said “I don’t believe in gestures. I believe in substance.” He adds there “are injustices we need to rectify” but “I don’t want people to be bullied into doing things they don’t want to do”#BorisOnLBC pic.twitter.com/c4q5ByI0Jf — LBC (@LBC) July 3, 2020
“I don’t want people to be bullied into doing things they don’t necessarily want to do. I do not believe in gestures, I believe in substance.”
And the entire internet responded as one.
1.
Not into 'gestures' says the politicians who spent the past few months clapping for the NHS that he helped underfund https://t.co/VkmbXQPc5F — Maya Goodfellow (@MayaGoodfellow) July 3, 2020
2.
3.
I'm old enough to remember when he said we should clap for bankers two days ago https://t.co/6Bs66aZ1XO — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 3, 2020
4.
“Yes or no, would you ‘take the knee’ Prime Minister?”
Boris Johnson: “I don’t believe in gestures…"
Also Boris Johnson: pic.twitter.com/Dr7dXjdok9 — Richard Littler (@richard_littler) July 3, 2020
5.
He drove a union flag branded JCB digger that had "GET BREXIT DONE" written on it through a cardboard wall for a photo opp https://t.co/gE12IsVdgV — Nick Walker (@nickw84) July 3, 2020
6.
7.
Says the man who brandished a smoked kipper on stage in the Tory leadership hustings which led to him becoming Prime Minister https://t.co/iSjcx9oVfK — David Lammy (@DavidLammy) July 3, 2020
8.
He hired a photographer to do a photoshoot of him resigning in protest against a deal he agreed to and then went on to replicate https://t.co/aI8lYrDlLa — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 3, 2020
9.
Johnson doesn’t believe in gestures. 🧐 https://t.co/milqIueIwF — Adil Ray OBE (@adilray) July 3, 2020
10.
The guy who got covid after refusing to stop shaking hands. https://t.co/TNo3bljhsh — Jemaine Clement (@AJemaineClement) July 3, 2020
But if you want the conclusive run-down of every time Johnson didn’t believe in gestures, then @GingerPower_ has it for you …
He definitely doesn’t believe in gestures, guys. pic.twitter.com/PFgXWjaTi5 — Jamie (@GingerPower_) July 3, 2020
This mans whole political career has been one big gesture pic.twitter.com/0SWjuRzBeJ — Jamie (@GingerPower_) July 3, 2020
Go on then, one more round of pictures from the man that doesn’t do gestures pic.twitter.com/2UKgBfHItK — Jamie (@GingerPower_) July 3, 2020
To conclude …
Your whole political career has been a "gesture", mate https://t.co/VcehkVG4q3 — Dr Charlotte Lydia Riley (@lottelydia) July 3, 2020
READ MORE
8 favourite reactions to Boris Johnson’s dad flying to his villa in Greece


thepoke--2020-07-03--This week’s 25 funniest jokes and pics

This week’s 25 funniest jokes and pics

It ’ s Friday , which means we get to share with you those jokes that have really made us @ @ @ @ @ about the pandemic .
We all need a break from that , if only for @ @ @ @ @ are – all 25 of our favourites .

Twitter
It’s Friday, which means we get to share with you those jokes that have really made us laugh and aren’t about the pandemic.
We all need a break from that, if only for 10 minutes.
Here they are – all 25 of our favourites.
1.
Look, if they can change Marathon to Snickers, then they can change Parler to NaziChatz. Just saying. — Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) June 26, 2020
2.
3.
why don’t I ever see people kissing in trees? I mean there’s a famous song about it — eLëni (@eleniZarro) June 28, 2020
4.
your honor my client would like to plead oopsie daisies — nicky the friendly shark (@mostlysharks) June 27, 2020
5.
Didn’t have my glasses on so I couldn’t read the smaller writing, I just thought, wow, what a cool name. pic.twitter.com/kqmRey9hot — Grant (@ghud68) June 30, 2020
6.
*First person who had the idea of riding a horse* I'm going to sit on that huge thing and I don't care how angry it gets. — Nadya Kasyanova (@nadya_kasyanova) June 27, 2020
7.
For all the shingles ladies. pic.twitter.com/OIs0RSIqGq — Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) June 30, 2020
8.
9.
Me: I'll email this to myself so I don't forget Me one second later: Ooh a new email has arrived! Still me: It's from me — Hadley Freeman (@HadleyFreeman) June 30, 2020
10.
My wife can do a better Black Country accent than I can. I suspect the female of the species is more Dudley than the male. — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) June 30, 2020
11.
Can you imagine a bunch of white guys in a rock reggae band called the Police releasing a song telling a sex worker to get off the streets in 2020 — Atossa Araxia Abrahamian (@atossaaraxia) June 30, 2020
12.


thepoke--2020-07-03--14 of the funniest jokes we’ve seen about the coronavirus

Six months ago , we ’ d never have suspected that people would be making jokes about a deadly pandemic @ @ @ @ @ d also never have guessed that Stanley Johnson does his own cleaning , which is @ @ @ @ @ claim to be Covid-proofing his Greek villa .
Yet , here we are , more @ @ @ @ @ began and still spotting new and very funny hot takes .

Twitter
Six months ago, we’d never have suspected that people would be making jokes about a deadly pandemic, but then we’d also never have guessed that Stanley Johnson does his own cleaning, which is the only explanation of his claim to be Covid-proofing his Greek villa.
Yet, here we are, more than 100 days after lockdown began and still spotting new and very funny hot takes.
1.
This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. 🥺 Normally, I do not go because I am poor. — brooke miller (@buhrooke) June 26, 2020
2.
At this point, wearing a Mask in public is more of an IQ test.. — ICE T (@FINALLEVEL) June 28, 2020
3.
It’s such a shame this summer’s been spoilt. If it wasn’t for the pandemic, I would currently be at a county cricket ground, huddled under a tea bar with rain dripping into a sandwich, waiting for umpires to call off play until August. — Mark Steel (@mrmarksteel) July 2, 2020
4.
5.
I think the pubs are opening because the government wants us drunk enough to think they are doing a good job. — Matt Haig (@matthaig1) July 2, 2020
6.
The nation's most prolific swingers showing greater moral responsibility than the government, is it?https://t.co/iplH7OTvnk — Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) July 1, 2020
7.
The fragility of folks who won’t wear a mask is truly breathtaking. I lived for four years inside two internment camps, and I heard less bitching and whining there than I do today. — George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) June 28, 2020
8.


thepoke--2020-07-03--The story of this man’s house purchase is making people smile

Part house purchase , part ( very ) short story , this tale is making people smile after it was shared on Reddit .
And here are just some of the things people were saying about it .
‘ May you have every happiness in your new home .
You have accomplished something special there .
Congratulations.
’ sniptwister ‘ Curiosity got the best of me and I did a search on the houses in that area and saw the price for this particular home listed at 349k .
Ya know , just in case you were wondering too , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fix up old houses .
This one has had the electric redone already .
He just needs to sand and refinish the floors .
This house is in a Massachusetts so he got a hell of a deal .
And not too much work .
Just enough to make it his own.
’ sloinmo Although some people also wondered if it wasn ’ t quite right .
‘ Ok , so not to discredit this guys accomplishments , but this house was certainly not built by slaves or probably even black people .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ were hardly any slaves , let alone black people in Massachusetts in 1820 .
( No slaves were recorded in MA as early as the 1790 census ) ‘ It ’ s a plantation house , but not one that had slaves .
It ’ s definitely symbolic of what black people have achieved in America though .
No black person in 1820 could have afforded a house like that.
’ SomeDumbGamer

Pics
Part house purchase, part (very) short story, this tale is making people smile after it was shared on Reddit.
And here are just some of the things people were saying about it.
‘May you have every happiness in your new home. You have accomplished something special there. Congratulations.’ sniptwister ‘Curiosity got the best of me and I did a search on the houses in that area and saw the price for this particular home listed at 349k. Ya know, just in case you were wondering too, I got you.’
heyiknowachris ‘I fix up old houses. This one has had the electric redone already. He just needs to sand and refinish the floors. This house is in a Massachusetts so he got a hell of a deal. And not too much work. Just enough to make it his own.’ sloinmo
Although some people also wondered if it wasn’t quite right.
‘Ok, so not to discredit this guys accomplishments, but this house was certainly not built by slaves or probably even black people. It’s in Massachusetts and there were hardly any slaves, let alone black people in Massachusetts in 1820. (No slaves were recorded in MA as early as the 1790 census) ‘It’s a plantation house, but not one that had slaves. It’s definitely symbolic of what black people have achieved in America though. No black person in 1820 could have afforded a house like that.’ SomeDumbGamer
Source Reddit u/UrDreamDaddy


thepoke--2020-07-03--This person’s obsession with blue cheese dressing is very odd (and oddly funny)

It started off as a perfectly innocent question about people ’ s favourite salad dressing and it ended with … @ @ @ @ @ cheese has mold in it , ’ said Arda6000 who shared it on Reddit .
@ @ @ @ @ cheese trauma has cathie experienced in her life ?
’ robocop_robocop ‘ She ’ s @ @ @ @ @ contrarians who likes to ruin stuff for everybody .
Today she must have found out @ @ @ @ @ in it and has decided to show everyone the “ shocking truth about blue cheese @ @ @ @ @ she is for figuring it out.
’ PenguinPyramid ‘ Cheese is literally curdled milk with @ @ @ @ @ ’ _HossBonaventureCEO_ This woman whose husband got chlamydia ‘ from a mask ’ is due @ @ @

Weird World
It started off as a perfectly innocent question about people’s favourite salad dressing and it ended with … an obsession.
‘Blue cheese has mold in it,’ said Arda6000 who shared it on Reddit.
‘What kind of blue cheese trauma has cathie experienced in her life?’ robocop_robocop ‘She’s probably just one of those contrarians who likes to ruin stuff for everybody. Today she must have found out that blue cheese has mold in it and has decided to show everyone the “shocking truth about blue cheese”, and how smart she is for figuring it out.’ PenguinPyramid ‘Cheese is literally curdled milk with a bacterial culture in it.’ _HossBonaventureCEO_ ‘Blue cheese has mold in it.’ morningtrain
READ MORE
This woman whose husband got chlamydia ‘from a mask’ is due a rude awakening
Source Reddit u/Arda6000


thepoke--2020-07-03--This woman whose husband got chlamydia ‘from a mask’ is due a rude awakening

This exchange on Facebook about a woman who ’ s husband came back from a business trip and blamed a @ @ @ @ @ infection he picked up is funny-sad .
Or sad-funny .
Or maybe just sad .
@ @ @ @ @ mind me , just came to find the chlamydia comment I heard about.
” From @ @ @ @ @ about the number of new Covid cases in my state , ’ said dicknotrichard who @ @ @ @ @ ‘ This is crazier than the 5G cult .
I mean , seriously ?
You @ @ @ @ @ a STD from a fucking mask ?
Maybe f-cking someone with a mask , but @ @ @ @ @ 1800donttalktome This person ’ s fury at what someone did to the Confederate flag only @ @ @

Weird World
This exchange on Facebook about a woman who’s husband came back from a business trip and blamed a ‘mask’ for the infection he picked up is funny-sad. Or sad-funny. Or maybe just sad.
‘“Don’t mind me, just came to find the chlamydia comment I heard about.” From my local news FB post about the number of new Covid cases in my state,’ said dicknotrichard who shared it on Reddit.
‘This is crazier than the 5G cult. I mean, seriously? You actually think you can get a STD from a fucking mask? Maybe f-cking someone with a mask, but not from wearing it.’ 1800donttalktome
READ MORE
This person’s fury at what someone did to the Confederate flag only makes it better
Source Reddit yu/dicknotrichard


thepoke--2020-07-03--This person’s fury at what someone did to the Confederate flag only makes it better

To many people in the south of America , the Confederate flag is a symbol of their heritage , a @ @ @ @ @ defiance to liberalism .
But to most people – and when we say ‘ most @ @ @ @ @ people who are right – the battle flag used by Southern states in the American @ @ @ @ @ of slavery , standing for white supremacy and racial violence .
And it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ wasn ’ t happy with what ’ s been done to their favourite flag .
@ @ @ @ @ looks way better now , ’ said CrimsonKing123 who shared it on Reddit .
This @ @ @ @ @ as that asteroid

Pics
To many people in the south of America, the Confederate flag is a symbol of their heritage, a sign of historic pride and defiance to liberalism.
But to most people – and when we say ‘most people’, we mean people who are right – the battle flag used by Southern states in the American Civil War is a symbol of slavery, standing for white supremacy and racial violence.
And it’s fair to say this person wasn’t happy with what’s been done to their favourite flag.
‘I mean, it looks way better now,’ said CrimsonKing123 who shared it on Reddit.
‘Well, they always said the South’s gonna rise again.’ CausticSaint
READ MORE
This comeback is almost as devastating as that asteroid
Source Reddit u/CrimsonKing123


thepoke--2020-07-05--Nigel Farage pictured himself at the pub and it was the ultimate self-own

Lots of people went to the pub on Saturday as you will no doubt have seen by now .
Plenty @ @ @ @ @ rules and enjoyed a nice pint , others less so .
Among them was Nigel @ @ @ @ @ pleasure in posting this picture of his ‘ first proper pint in 103 days ’ @ @ @ @ @ it was pretty much top tier stuff , because it ’ s not long ago @ @ @ @ @ the country at a Donald Trump rally in Tulsa .
And people reckoned Farage could @ @ @ @ @ 13 days ago at the earliest , which would mean he broke coronavirus quarantine rules @ @ @ @ @ .
Here ’ s what Farage said later .
And here ’ s Farage doing @ @ @ @ @ talking about his day out .

News
Lots of people went to the pub on Saturday as you will no doubt have seen by now. Plenty of people observed all the rules and enjoyed a nice pint, others less so.
Among those making the trip to the boozer was Nigel Farage, who took great pleasure in posting this picture of his ‘first proper pint in 103 days’.
12 o’clock, first customer in. Love it. pic.twitter.com/pBYm9rtejA — Nigel Farage (@Nigel_Farage) July 4, 2020
Except it’s not long ago that Farage was out of the country at a Donald Trump rally in Tulsa.
And people reckoned Farage could only have re-entered the UK 13 days ago at the earliest, which if correct would mean he broke rules requiring people to quarantine for 14 days by going to the pub.
He’s just tweeted out evidence that he’s breaking quarantine laws. Love it. https://t.co/LCpk6hU4dQ — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 4, 2020
I’ve fixed that for you. You’re welcome. pic.twitter.com/qmeT1mOEKB — Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) July 4, 2020
Pretty cool how the only person who’ll go to the pub with you is a hired photographer — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 4, 2020
Typhoid Nigel strikes again. Less than 2 weeks after returning from US. Not yet out of quarantine. Illegally infecting a pub near you https://t.co/crJrotlHCm — Carole Cadwalladr (@carolecadwalla) July 4, 2020
He’s incredibly lucky that absolutely no witnesses showed up to see him in Tulsa. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 4, 2020
Hello @kent_police this man was in Tulsa, Oklahoma on 20 June 2020. Why isn't he self-isolating? https://t.co/7zg29eFzlR — Leonardo Carella (@leonardocarella) July 4, 2020
Here’s what Farage said later.
To all those screaming and shouting about me going to the pub…. I have been back from the USA for 2 weeks and I have been tested — the result was negative. Sorry to disappoint you. Cheers! pic.twitter.com/E8maRljGwS — Nigel Farage (@Nigel_Farage) July 4, 2020
But does it all add up?
I realise you’re quite thick, but even I thought you could count to 14. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 4, 2020
And here’s Farage doing his best Alan Partridge impression talking about his day out.
READ MORE
Simply 13 tweets about the pubs re-opening today
Images @Nigel_Farage


thepoke--2020-07-04--Eric Idle wasn’t happy with this ‘official’ Monty Python advice about going back to the pub

Pubs in England are able to reopen today after being shut because of the pandemic and here ’ s what @ @ @ @ @ Twitter feed had to say .
And it ’ s fair to say Eric Idle @ @ @ @ @ He wasn ’ t happy at all .
And he wasn ’ t leaving it @ @

Twitter
Pubs in England are able to reopen today after being shut because of the pandemic and here’s what Monty Python’s official Twitter feed had to say.
And it’s fair to say Eric Idle wasn’t happy. He wasn’t happy at all.
Do not listen. This is shit advice.
I have nothing to do with this.
In the wise words of my wife. “What has changed?”
Nothing.
There is no cure, there is no vaccine.
Go out at your peril. Mingle at your own risk.
Just remember
“Bring out your dead.”
Be safe
Eric https://t.co/q8UJZda3yi — Eric Idle (@EricIdle) July 3, 2020
And he wasn’t leaving it there.
Unless your pub is called The Grim Reaper you should stay home.
Listening to medical advice from politicians is why America is currently a raging wildfire of epidemia. Please be safe. https://t.co/0rkE4Y1tXS — Eric Idle (@EricIdle) July 3, 2020
Freedom not to kill people please. https://t.co/6y8Zw4zw98 — Eric Idle (@EricIdle) July 4, 2020
Out of curiosity, who runs the Python page then? Or has the final say. — Tommi Vienonen (@Vienonen1) July 3, 2020
Good people. But this is very mistaken. I will follow up, I promise you. — Eric Idle (@EricIdle) July 4, 2020
READ MORE
Simply 13 tweets about the pubs re-opening today
Source @EricIdle


thepoke--2020-07-04--Simply 13 tweets about the pubs re-opening today

As you will no doubt have seen , pubs in England were allowed to reopen today , some of them @ @ @ @ @ 6am for people who have really , really missed them .
It ’ s fair @ @ @ @ @ more enthusiastic about going back to the boozer than others .
Here are 13 things @ @ @ @ @ today .
Eric Idle wasn ’ t happy with this ‘ official ’ Monty Python @ @ @ @ @ the pub

Twitter
As you will no doubt have seen, pubs in England were allowed to reopen today, some of them flinging their doors open at 6am for people who have really, really missed them.
It’s fair to say some people were more enthusiastic about going back to the boozer than others. Here are 13 things people were saying about it today.
1.
Alexa, what do pubs in Hell look like? pic.twitter.com/jkHoF9pOrt — Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) July 3, 2020
2.
– the first thing i’m doing when i’m released tomorrow is to go down the pub and enjoy a relaxing pint away from all these rules, regulations and f**king barriers…
– i’ve got some bad news terry… pic.twitter.com/s4249VJIzY — forest fr1ends (@forest_fr1ends) July 3, 2020
3.
If you don’t get some sleep, Father Beermas won’t come pic.twitter.com/61FvTmIY2F — Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) July 3, 2020
4.
Going to pretend I’m at Wetherspoons tomorrow by walking up my stairs 147 times and imagining I’m trying to get to the toilet. — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) July 3, 2020
5.
Welcome to Britain. You can't see your family if you have already been in contact with another household but you can meet your family at a wetherspoons at 6am tomorrow to get fucking annihilated because this is an entirely normal country. — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) July 3, 2020
6.
"Are you out of your tiny mind?" https://t.co/jCMwPlsMLE — Oonagh (@Okeating) July 3, 2020
7.
Imagine being greeted by this at 6.03am in Corby. pic.twitter.com/SyYqlQhU2E — Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) July 3, 2020
8.
Boris Johnson: Pubs will reopen but the British public must use common sense Wetherspoons right now: pic.twitter.com/jgDgw7ZSXi — joe heenan (@joeheenan) July 4, 2020
9.
10.
People queueing up outside Wetherspoons already. Idiots. pic.twitter.com/ChGk2stcY7 — Balderdash (@notDcfcBoss) July 3, 2020
11.
“The beer garden looks nice let’s go and sit … OK, we’re leaving” pic.twitter.com/rPbdsMnVWC — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) July 3, 2020
12.
I worked with Johnson at the Telegraph for 12 years. Never once do I remember him going to a local pub. Not even for one of the leaving dos of the poor sub-editors who had to try to fact-check his crap columns and make them readable. https://t.co/0pTnmvzEK8 — Tim Walker (@ThatTimWalker) July 3, 2020
13.
The owner of the Wetherspoons chain, Tim Martin, giving a rousing speech to his workers prior to the pubs reopening. pic.twitter.com/S5NVLzl15Q — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) July 3, 2020
READ MORE
Eric Idle wasn’t happy with this ‘official’ Monty Python advice about going back to the pub


thepoke--2020-07-04--Twitter exchange of the day

Twitter exchange of the day

Mia Farrow went on Twitter to say how much Frank Sinatra would have hated Donald Trump .
And then this @ @ @ @ @ much did he loathe him ?

Twitter
Mia Farrow went on Twitter to say how much Frank Sinatra would have hated Donald Trump.
And then this happened.
Boom!
Good god, what a one-two punch! — dirtymarty (@dirtymarty) July 4, 2020
You have both just now made me happier than I’ve been all week. ❤ — Rob Sheridan (@robertdsheridan) July 4, 2020
But exactly how much did he loathe him?
Well he always was known for his phrasing. — obenkarp (@obenkarp) July 4, 2020
Further reading …
To conclude …
READ MORE
Simply 23 funny and ferocious comebacks
H/T @danielmaier


thepoke--2020-07-04--People enjoyed Nicola Sturgeon’s dismantling of this question about ‘unfinished projects’

It ’ s not often ( ever ) a press conference question about construction projects in Scotland goes viral .
@ @ @ @ @ enjoyed how Nicola Sturgeon ’ s dismantling of this question about unfinished stuff in Scotland @ @ @ @ @ more specific but , well , have a watch for yourself .
Boris Johnson tried @ @ @ @ @ and it ’ s harder than you think

Videos
It’s not often (ever) a press conference question about construction projects in Scotland goes viral.
But people really, really enjoyed how Nicola Sturgeon’s dismantling of this question about unfinished stuff in Scotland. We’d be more specific but, well, have a watch for yourself.
Just phoned the hospital to book a toe-uncurling procedure 😬 pic.twitter.com/2TLHc58yDN — wasnonowYES (@proscot4indy) July 3, 2020
Ouch.
My whole body turned in on itself watching this….see you on the ward 😬😬😬 — WeeHalfPintATHOMEBLM (@weehalfpintt) July 3, 2020
I just love Ms Sturgeon’s total commitment to answering the question and her complete focus on the task. I have no doubt that if the guy had actually named a hospital or a particular stretch of road, she would have been able to say precisely what progress had been made on each. — Liz Langfield (@liz_langfield) July 3, 2020
Doesn’t need a voice over pic.twitter.com/mqlzajMEEe — Janey Godley (@JaneyGodley) July 3, 2020
READ MORE
Boris Johnson tried to string two words together and it’s harder than you think
Source @proscot4indy


thepoke--2020-07-06--This clip is a serious contender for “Funniest 35 second of Magnum P.I. ever recorded”

Over on Twitter , Chris “ Wear A Mask ” Driver – @ Jerkwheatery – shared this bizarre clip from @ @ @ @ @ P.I .
and we ’ re not sure how it ’ s escaped our notice @ @ @ @ @ appreciated the clip , because it ’ s been viewed well over three million times @ @ @ @ @ .
One comment in particular struck a chord with us .
Oh , to have @ @ @ @ @ wall .
This thread of 31 funny TV clips of all time really does have @ @ @

Videos
Over on Twitter, Chris “Wear A Mask” Driver – @Jerkwheatery – shared this bizarre clip from the hit series, Magnum P.I. and we’re not sure how it’s escaped our notice until now.
Please watch this 35 second Magnum clip. I have not stopped laughing. pic.twitter.com/nneXjJxUPj — Chris “Wear A Mask” Driver (@Jerkwheatery) June 30, 2020
People clearly appreciated the clip, because it’s been viewed well over three million times, gathering responses like these.
How Merlin the Bird did not win an Emmy is an outrage. https://t.co/v3oMYrMxLY — Maximiliano Bretos (@MaxBretosSports) July 5, 2020
I’m so glad there’s a visual record of television's pre-Sopranos era. No one would believe it otherwise. https://t.co/jJz5m73Ovc — Seth Masket (@smotus) July 1, 2020
Finally some high brow entertainment! https://t.co/6KfSnVLSJD — Tomi Andersson (@AnderssonTomi) July 1, 2020
80s TV was extra as fuck at all times lol https://t.co/nPcbGroW8Q — Detective Jim Gordon, Gotham PD (@GregHowardJr1) July 1, 2020
One of my finest TV moments 👍😂 https://t.co/zmYqPPb7Fz — Sweary Parrot (@SwearyParrot) July 4, 2020
One comment in particular struck a chord with us.
Magnum PI Writers Room: "This is the bad version, but what if, like, Higgins can speak parrot? Parrots can mimic us, right? I'm not saying he can speak parrot. That's ridiculous. But something like that." Ten hours of silence later… "Fuck it, Higgins can speak parrot." https://t.co/JgmLsXKojv — Chris Jones (@EnswellJones) July 1, 2020
Oh, to have been a fly on that wall.
READ MORE
This thread of 31 funny TV clips of all time really does have something for everyone
Source @Jerkwheatery Image @Jerkwheatery


thepoke--2020-07-06--The Happy Days intro recreated using only stock footage is a gift we truly don’t deserve

Comedian Matthew Highton is a talented filmmaker , as well as being extremely funny , which is a match made @ @ @ @ @ latest creation stitched together stock footage to recreate the nostalgia-inducing opening sequence of Happy Days @ @ @ @ @ people have been saying about it .
It ’ s not his first venture into @ @ @ @ @ TV shows ’ opening sequences , so we thought we ’ d share this masterpiece @ @ @ @ @ find his other clever and funny intro videos here .
“ The 8 second Inigo @ @ @ @ @ ’ t know you needed ”

Videos
Comedian Matthew Highton is a talented filmmaker, as well as being extremely funny, which is a match made in comedy heaven.
His latest creation stitched together stock footage to recreate the nostalgia-inducing opening sequence of Happy Days.
It’s very impressive.
Here it is! The Happy Days intro recreated using ONLY stock footage! pic.twitter.com/cEStx3IEoB — Matthew Highton (@MattHighton) July 3, 2020
Here’s what people have been saying about it.
A couple of absolute LOL moments here.
Particularly the Henry Winkler . . . https://t.co/3oK0p1nYGb — Adam Larter (@lartymcparty) July 3, 2020
the mirror shot at 1min! paaaaah these are so great https://t.co/BrZfojDqYh — Julings (@julings) July 3, 2020
You are an absolute wizard — richardsoames (@richardsoames) July 3, 2020
It’s not his first venture into using stock footage to recreate TV shows’ opening sequences, so we thought we’d share this masterpiece.
It nearly killed me, but here it is: The intro to Buffy the Vampire Slayer recreated using only stock footage. pic.twitter.com/E8ilqTOmIm — Matthew Highton (@MattHighton) May 19, 2020
Follow him here and find his other clever and funny intro videos here.
READ MORE
“The 8 second Inigo Montoya/Eminem mash up you didn’t know you needed”
Source Matthew Highton Image Matthew Highton


thepoke--2020-07-06--This Amazon delivery driver went above and beyond to follow the special instructions

When Lynn Staffieri got a notification from her Nest doorbell , she was surprised to see an Amazon parcel delivered in a highly unusual fashion .
The delivery person left the parcel , said something that Lynn couldn ’ t hear on the vision-only clip , and then ran away from the house like her life depended on it .
Lynn did some digging and soon got to the bottom of the mystery before sharing the audio-enabled version .
Thank you to this great Amazon delivery woman !
Apparently , my youngest son , had put some ‘ additional instructions @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with it .
It made us smile even though my son should not have done that so I apologize for that .
I do appreciate that the driver looked closely enough at the instructions though because I know a lot of people wouldn ’ t .
And this is the instruction Lynn ’ s 13-year-old son , Jacob , had added to the Amazon order .
The joyous post went viral , with the clip making it to several news outlets and picking up delighted comments from Facebook users .
Here are a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , Eloiza Sanchez , identified herself , but we don ’ t know whether she has responded to Lynn yet .

Videos
When Lynn Staffieri got a notification from her Nest doorbell, she was surprised to see an Amazon parcel delivered in a highly unusual fashion.
The delivery person left the parcel, said something that Lynn couldn’t hear on the vision-only clip, and then ran away from the house like her life depended on it.
Lynn did some digging and soon got to the bottom of the mystery before sharing the audio-enabled version.
She added this explanation.
Thank you to this great Amazon delivery woman! Apparently, my youngest son, had put some ‘additional instructions’ for delivery and she went along with it. It made us smile even though my son should not have done that so I apologize for that. I do appreciate that the driver looked closely enough at the instructions though because I know a lot of people wouldn’t.
And this is the instruction Lynn’s 13-year-old son, Jacob, had added to the Amazon order.
The joyous post went viral, with the clip making it to several news outlets and picking up delighted comments from Facebook users.
Here are a few we really liked.
That is so Awesome, I’m still replaying and laughing at the same time.
Deseree Hall
Hilarious! That worker gets an A+!!
Cathleen Brown Webb
Best delivery driver ever seen
Arshad Habibi
The driver, Eloiza Sanchez, identified herself, but we don’t know whether she has responded to Lynn yet.
We’ll keep you posted.
READ MORE
Delivery driver of the week
Source Facebook H/T Mirror Image Facebook


thepoke--2020-07-06--The only 5 responses you need to the announcement that drunks can’t socially distance

“ Super Saturday ” brought the stories you ’ d expect , with people crammed together out on the lash @ @ @ @ @ home tutting* .
*cursing the government for its mixed messages This paints the picture rather @ @ @ @ @ hit us with some shocking information .
These five reactions to that bombshell say everything @ @ @ @ @ .
In light of some people ’ s reactions to the opportunity to down a @ @ @ @ @ beers are available – Don Stewart had some ironic information .

Twitter
“Super Saturday” brought the stories you’d expect, with people crammed together out on the lash while everyone else sat at home tutting*.
*cursing the government for its mixed messages
This paints the picture rather well.
Supernanny watches some UK pubs reopen on 4th July pic.twitter.com/MC7k1fa3qF — Jake McBain (@JakeMC_) July 5, 2020
Then the police hit us with some shocking information.
These five reactions to that bombshell say everything that needs to be said.
1.
Breaking news also just in. Yes, the pope IS catholic and bears DO indeed shit in the woods. https://t.co/okePloWHXi — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) July 5, 2020
2.
Who could have predicted this https://t.co/E4pqLOJMAf — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 5, 2020
3.
File under, No shit Sherlock. Maybe some will take heed instead of encouraging people to come out over the next week, locally. https://t.co/Bcs8fpvVuT — Cllr Brian Smyth (@Briansmyth99) July 5, 2020
4.
Drunks cannot distance? Who knew? Is this a SAGE finding…? 😐🔫 https://t.co/X8MMm4W13j — Northern Left Voices (@NorthLeftVoices) July 5, 2020
5.
In light of some people’s reactions to the opportunity to down a pint of Carlsberg – other beers are available – Don Stewart had some ironic information.
This kingdom has produced 99 Nobel laureates https://t.co/6ndM1pNrbp — Don Stewart (@donsbot) July 5, 2020
Probably considerably more Darwin Awards.
READ MORE
Simply 13 tweets about the pubs re-opening today
Source BBC Image BBC, @alexvgr on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-07-06--Kanye says he’s running for president and the reactions couldn’t have been stronger – 14 favourites

Kanye West has caused controversy on more than one occasion with his support for Donald Trump , praising his approach @ @ @ @ @ him in this year ’ s election , wearing the hats .
However , the @ @ @ @ @ to be happy with the rapper ’ s latest move .
We ’ re not @ @ @ @ @ being , but Kanye livened up the weekend and took the focus away from Trump @ @ @ @ @ Mount Rushmore with this extraordinary announcement .
He got a supportive response from one expected @ @ @ @ @ expected .
Many other people weren ’ t quite so sure .

Twitter
Kanye West has caused controversy on more than one occasion with his support for Donald Trump, praising his approach, pledging to vote for him in this year’s election, wearing the hats.
However, the President isn’t going to be happy with the rapper’s latest move.
We’re not sure how serious he was being, but Kanye livened up the weekend and took the focus away from Trump’s divisive appearance at Mount Rushmore with this extraordinary announcement.
We must now realize the promise of America by trusting God, unifying our vision and building our future. I am running for president of the United States 🇺🇸! #2020VISION — ye (@kanyewest) July 5, 2020
He got a supportive response from one expected quarter.
And one less expected.
You have my full support! — Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 5, 2020
Many other people weren’t quite so sure.
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I can only surmise that a time traveler has accidentally killed a butterfly. https://t.co/MCqAD65V63 — Seth MacFarlane (@SethMacFarlane) July 5, 2020
4.
Kanye West as President – Kim Kardashian as First Lady. Elon Musk as Attorney General, Khloe Kardashian as Secty of State and the rest of us moving to Canada, Mexico or any country that will give us asylum — (((DeanObeidallah))) (@DeanObeidallah) July 5, 2020
5.
BREAKING NEWS- Coronavirus endorces Donald Trump for president. Murder Hornet still undecided between Trump, Kanye, and a 30 gallon Hefty bag full of shit. — Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) July 5, 2020
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thepoke--2020-07-05--Eric Trump’s tweet about Ghislaine Maxwell backfired very badly indeed

The latest episode of ‘ Eric Trump does Twitter ’ didn ’ t end very well for the so-called president @ @ @ @ @ fact , it could hardly have gone any worse .
Trump shared an image of @ @ @ @ @ the 2010 wedding of his daughter Chelsea .
Helpfully circled in the background was Ghislaine @ @ @ @ @ of dead paedophile sex offender Jeffrey Epstein .
Maxwell was arrested by the FBI last @ @ @ @ @ since deleted it and you can probably guess why .
But just in case … @ @ @ @ @ the pub and it was the ultimate self-own

Twitter
The latest episode of ‘Eric Trump does Twitter’ didn’t end very well for the so-called president’s son. In fact, it could hardly have gone any worse.
Trump shared an image of former president Bill Clinton at the 2010 wedding of his daughter Chelsea.
Helpfully circled in the background was Ghislaine Maxwell, the longtime associate of dead paedophile sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. Maxwell was arrested by the FBI last week.
He’s since deleted it and you can probably guess why. But just in case …
1.
https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1278877746844794886?s=20
2.
You really are the dumb one, aren’t you? pic.twitter.com/P5jMqBxY28 — Janet Johnson (@JJohnsonLaw) July 2, 2020
3.
Does the president's son not know that there are photos of Donald Trump with Maxwell? — Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) July 2, 2020
4.
Eric may be on to something pic.twitter.com/dnvE4Y8eEy — KD (@Fly_Sistah) July 2, 2020
5.
6.
it's like it's eric's first day on earth. pic.twitter.com/W8ZVFZj3oz — Brian Tyler Cohen (@briantylercohen) July 2, 2020
7.
8.
Eric Trump, who tweeted earlier about Bill Clinton and Ghislaine Maxwell, was literally himself on his dad’s private jet with her. FFS. You cannot make this stuff up. https://t.co/dz7jo9H002 — Mehdi Hasan (@mehdirhasan) July 3, 2020
To conclude …
lol @EricTrump deleted this after getting 12K replies reminding him that his dad and Epstein were BFFs. pic.twitter.com/6RAuCVKZj4 — Chris Jackson (@ChrisCJackson) July 3, 2020
And this.
Dear @EricTrump, Birds of a feather… *One of dozens of photos of your father with Ghislaine Maxwell and Epstein. DOZENS across MANY YEARS. pic.twitter.com/qLsk85b8VA — Don Winslow (@donwinslow) July 2, 2020
And this.
Looks like @EricTrump deleted this tweet. Maybe it didn't get the reaction he hoped? pic.twitter.com/qvYCxN3YRw — Nary Trump (@unRealMaryTrump) July 3, 2020
READ MORE
Nigel Farage pictured himself at the pub and it was the ultimate self-own
H/T Huffington Post


thepoke--2020-07-07--What things did you do as a kid that you now realise were extremely weird? – 19 wonderful examples

Over on the r/AskReddit forum , people have been sharing the weird stuff they did as kids that they didn @ @ @ @ @ strange at the time .
We picked some of the weirdest – and a few @ @ @ @ @ .
They ’ re not all safe for work .

Popular
Over on the r/AskReddit forum, people have been sharing the weird stuff they did as kids that they didn’t even realise was strange at the time.
We picked some of the weirdest – and a few we just thought were adorable. They’re not all safe for work.
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thepoke--2020-07-07--Someone got brutally murdered by words – over a tortoise

This is a lesson in checking your facts before you “ Well , actually ” someone on Twitter , and @ @ @ @ @ have needed quite a bit of ointment for that burn .
The fact that Alistair @ @ @ @ @ the BBC avatar just makes it all the more lethal and we applaud Callum Collie @ @ @ @ @ Mr. Tortoise Expert deleted the jellyfish tweet pretty sharpish , but not before venting his @ @ @ @ @ murder by words , weighing in on the exchange with reactions like these : As @ @ @ @ @ s Jonathan showing off his terrible table manners .
Still not as bad a mess @ @ @ @ @ There ’ s never been a better time to revisit Tom Morello ’ s savage @ @ @ @ @ fan

Popular
This is a lesson in checking your facts before you “Well, actually” someone on Twitter, and we think this guy must have needed quite a bit of ointment for that burn.
There isn’t a microphone big enough to drop. pic.twitter.com/KKRNZCS4xa — Halo #PleaseStayAtHome #IgnoreTheGovernment (@EatMyHalo) July 1, 2020
The fact that Alistair McLeod proudly displays a Defund the BBC avatar just makes it all the more lethal and we applaud Callum Collie for the perfect takedown.
Mr. Tortoise Expert deleted the jellyfish tweet pretty sharpish, but not before venting his frustration.
Twitter enjoyed the murder by words, weighing in on the exchange with reactions like these:
And that's how you serve someone their ass! 😂 https://t.co/ZNdI1SRAHb — Patrick Salmon (@patthefish) July 1, 2020
The size of this burn is – and I can't over emphasise this enough – frankly enormous. — Rusty (@Rusty123B) July 1, 2020
Oh that is beautiful! And how satisfying to actually have the right thing to say at the right time! — Paul Shillito (@CuriousPSh) July 1, 2020
As a bonus, here’s Jonathan showing off his terrible table manners.
Still not as bad a mess as that jellyfish comment.
READ MORE
There’s never been a better time to revisit Tom Morello’s savage burn for a mouthy Trump fan
Source @EatMyHalo Image @EatMyHalo


thepoke--2020-07-07--This lip-synch of Trump’s Lone Ranger comment is both hilarious and horribly accurate

With Donald Trump ‘ s core supporters being the most likely to resist wearing a protective mask , health officials @ @ @ @ @ wearing one in public to encourage an uptake .
Speaking to Fox Business , he @ @ @ @ @ how he looks in a mask .
This is someone in a black face mask @ @ @ @ @ Ranger .
His comments drew this reaction from the marvellous Bette Midler .
Now , @ @ @ @ @ Sarah Cooper , has turned her laser-like focus onto his words , and he doesn @ @ @ @ @ it very well .
As ever , Sarah ’ s interpretation of the President ’ @ @ @ @ @ .
Finally , some food for thought when we see these word-perfect skits .
She @ @ @ @ @ and sympathy .
“ How to second term ” is the lip-synch we actually did @ @ @

Videos
With Donald Trump‘s core supporters being the most likely to resist wearing a protective mask, health officials have asked him to start wearing one in public to encourage an uptake.
Speaking to Fox Business, he explained that he quite likes how he looks in a mask.
After repeatedly denigrating masks, Trump now claims he has no problem with masks. He claims that when he wore a mask it looked good, "like the Lone Ranger." In early May, Trump said wearing a mask would make him look "ridiculous." pic.twitter.com/QMubwJwDi6 — The American Independent (@AmerIndependent) July 1, 2020
This is someone in a black face mask.
Via
This is the Lone Ranger.
Via
His comments drew this reaction from the marvellous Bette Midler.
Trump finally wore a mask the other day & said he felt like the #LoneRanger. But the Lone Ranger's mask had two eye holes in it, while Trump's mask had only one asshole in it. — bettemidler (@BetteMidler) July 2, 2020
Now, another hugely funny woman, Sarah Cooper, has turned her laser-like focus onto his words, and he doesn’t come out of it very well.
How to mask pic.twitter.com/Mm8IBTrNxd — Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) July 6, 2020
As ever, Sarah’s interpretation of the President’s comment drew well-deserved admiration.
Too many moments to go into here. 🙌🏻 https://t.co/n2hIC9SUE3 — Ben Stiller (@RedHourBen) July 6, 2020
Ah! My week starts off well. https://t.co/hdHP5noQPK — George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) July 6, 2020
Love that you keep increasing the production value @sarahcpr https://t.co/LxWklio8sn — Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) July 6, 2020
PS: The sniff at :35 is the best. https://t.co/9nIVlSoaDz — Richard Marx (@richardmarx) July 6, 2020
A classic of the genre – the Lone Ranger bit at the end is pure genius 🙂 https://t.co/NjcLRl1OTE — Mehdi Hasan (@mehdirhasan) July 6, 2020
This woman is basically the only reason I am still on Twitter. 💕 https://t.co/570XFKpmKu — Cynthia Loyst (@cynthialoyst) July 6, 2020
Finally, some food for thought when we see these word-perfect skits.
Sarah, I don't know how you listen to him for the amount of time it must take to get these down. You have the patience of a saint. — Michal is just emotionally compromised (@inkasrain) July 6, 2020
She has our undying gratitude – and sympathy.
READ MORE
“How to second term” is the lip-synch we actually did know we needed
Source Sarah Cooper Image Sarah Cooper


thepoke--2020-07-07--Boris Johnson shifted the blame for excess care home deaths to care bosses – 8 swift clapbacks

During yet another hi-vis photo-opportunity , this time in Yorkshire , Boris Johnson appeared to lay the blame for the @ @ @ @ @ social care at the feet of care providers themselves , saying “ We discovered too @ @ @ @ @ t really follow the procedures in the way that they could have.
” Peter Smith @ @ @ @ @ familiar .
Blond hair , huge ties , serial womaniser , America first – and @ @ @ @ @ .
The Leave Alliance is blaming the Brexit mess on Remainers – 9 brutal takedowns

Twitter
During yet another hi-vis photo-opportunity, this time in Yorkshire, Boris Johnson appeared to lay the blame for the high coronavirus death rate in social care at the feet of care providers themselves, saying
“We discovered too many care homes didn’t really follow the procedures in the way that they could have.”
The comment wasn’t well received.
1.
From the government that brought you “we’re going to start testing people as they move from hospital into care homes” on the 15th of fucking April we bring you “maybe this is the care homes’ fault” https://t.co/9m3WcrPqnM — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 6, 2020
2.
Care home owners must take responsibility for the fact that 20,000 people have died in their care.
Now is not the time for pointing out that we discharged 25,000 people from hospitals into care homes without testing them. https://t.co/IyVO9xFPnJ — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) July 6, 2020
3.
Whenever you think this incomprehensibly inept bull****** couldn’t possibly sink any lower he somehow always manages to rise to the challenge. This is utterly shameful https://t.co/UrWliWsLjg — Peter Stefanovic (@PeterStefanovi2) July 6, 2020
4.
The government:
– Sent 25,000 patients from hospitals to care homes without being tested
– Failed to provide adequate PPE or testing
– Failed to lockdown quickly enough
– Spent 10 years running down the care sector CONCLUSION
Care providers to blamehttps://t.co/hzYydBhS86 — David Schneider (@davidschneider) July 6, 2020
5.
Boris Johnson now blaming care home managers for all the death alongside *checks list* China, scientists, the public, civil servants, doctors, iphones, the opposition and pretty much anything apart from the bloke who took all the catastrophic decisions 🙄 — end of daves ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) July 6, 2020
6.
Q: How many Conservatives does it take to change a light bulb? A: Conservatives don't change light bulbs. They hide the ladders, sell the bulbs, and then blame Labour for the dark. They then send their thoughts and prayers to anyone who trips in the dark. https://t.co/L03kaNJbMq — Freddie (@FreddieBailey96) July 6, 2020
7.
20,000 dead?
"Nothing to do with me, mate"
Has Johnson ever taken responsibility for any mistake he's ever made? https://t.co/ngJvH2qJEo — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) July 6, 2020
8.
Boris Johnson: “It’s too early to draw any conclusions about the COVID pandemic, but it was the care homes fault” — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) July 6, 2020
Peter Smith thought the tactic seemed rather familiar.
Johnson blaming care home owners is pure Trumpism. Johnson is Trump with a wider vocabulary and a sketchy knowledge of Greek mythology but the same shamelessness. — Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) July 6, 2020
Blond hair, huge ties, serial womaniser, America first – and then there’s Trump.
READ MORE
The Leave Alliance is blaming the Brexit mess on Remainers – 9 brutal takedowns
Image @cristian_newman, on Unsplash Screengrab


thepoke--2020-07-06--This New York Times editor was sniffy about pantos and the takedowns came thick and fast (oh yes the

This New York Times editor was sniffy about pantos and the takedowns came thick and fast (oh yes they did)

You ’ ll probably have seen the welcome news that the government has pledged a £1.5bn lifeline to help keep @ @ @ @ @ welcomed the move , although Matthew Anderson , the European culture editor of the New @ @ @ @ @ t sure about one particular detail highlighted by culture secretary – Google , Google – @ @ @ @ @ if he wasn ’ t totally across the importance of pantos to UK theatres ( @ @ @ @ @ for them ) then he is now .
Because this happened .
To conclude , @ @ @ @ @ .
Oh no he hasn ’ t .
And so on .
This American accused @ @ @ @ @ and Stripes and was schooled into next week

Twitter
You’ll probably have seen the news that the government has pledged a £1.5bn lifeline to help keep the arts afloat during the pandemic.
Everyone welcomed the move, although Matthew Anderson, the European culture editor of the New York Times, wasn’t sure about one particular detail highlighted by culture secretary – Google, Google – Oliver Dowden today.
UK culture secretary doing the rounds this morning to talk up the arts rescue package. Talked about pantomimes on BBC Breakfast, Today and Sky News. PANTOMIMES. — Matthew Anderson (@MattAndersonNYT) July 6, 2020
And if he wasn’t totally across the importance of pantos to UK theatres (and the love people have for them) then he is now. Because this happened.
Matthew, I fear your snobbery is showing. Pantomime is one of the richest theatrical forms we have. It connects us with the deep history of our culture. It's also the key to the profitability of many theatres. December seems like our soonest chance of getting back to normal. — Matthew Sweet (@DrMatthewSweet) July 6, 2020
Hi. CEO of what you'd probably call a "highbrow" arts org here. I don't think I'd have known theatres existed as a kid without group outings to panto. Stop knocking things that aren't to your taste: they still take talent and skill to produce, and the arts should be for EVERYONE. — Alexis Paterson (@leksi_p) July 6, 2020
Heaven forbid that children and families should enjoy some live entertainment 🙄 — Samara Ginsberg (@samaracello) July 6, 2020
Pantomimes make the money that can subsidise the rest of the year’s productions. And for many children in the UK it’s their first introduction to theatre. Certainly was for me — Anita Singh (@anitathetweeter) July 6, 2020
And your point is??? Pantomimes are vital! They bring massive audiences to theatres and families to live arts. They introduce kids to theatre, employ many people and bring in enough revenue to help theatres put on a board range of events. Don't be such a snob! — Sarah Watts (@sarahkwatts) July 6, 2020
Pantomime is often a family’s only affordable chance to get to the theatre. It is often a child’s first introduction to the wonder of theatre. It is because of Pantomime that i work in the arts. Panto’s fund regional theatre. Do NOT discredit pantomime. — Chris Rankin (@chrisrankin) July 6, 2020
Panto was the first form of live theatre I saw aged 3. I loved it. I've gone on to be part of many incredible works but I still respect panto (& love performing in it). It is the first experience of theatre for so many & brings them back for more. Don't underestimate its value. — Nicola Foxfield (@NicolaFoxfield) July 6, 2020
The European Culture Editor who doesn’t understand the value, meaning or worth of a pantomime?
Revenue
Audiences of the future
Employment
Enjoyment
Sustainability of regional venues
The genre is worth millions — Ben Manning 🎖🎖🎖🎖🎖 (@BENJIm83) July 6, 2020
To conclude, back to Matthew Anderson himself.
I have become an actual pantomime villain! 😂 https://t.co/ZQvMkxuzcx — Matthew Anderson (@MattAndersonNYT) July 6, 2020
Oh no he hasn’t. And so on.
READ MORE
This American accused IKEA of disrespecting the Stars and Stripes and was schooled into next week
Source @MattAndersonNYT Image BBC


thepoke--2020-07-06--Favourite 5 responses to this Washington Post headline about Ennio Morricone

You may have seen the sad news today that the legendary film composer Ennio Morricone has died aged 91 .
@ @ @ @ @ for more than 500 films including A Fistful of Dollars , Once Upon A Time @ @ @ @ @ Eight , Cinema Paradiso , The Mission … the list goes on and on .
@ @ @ @ @ the Washington Post decided to headline the story about his death .
These 5 responses @ @ @ @ @ .
49 brilliantly underwhelming local news headlines from across the UK

News
You may have seen the sad news today that the legendary film composer Ennio Morricone has died aged 91.
The Oscar-winning composer made music for more than 500 films including A Fistful of Dollars, Once Upon A Time in America, The Hateful Eight, Cinema Paradiso, The Mission … the list goes on and on.
And yet this is how the Washington Post decided to headline the story about his death.
These 5 responses pretty much say it all.
And RIP to Mozart who wrote “scooby-do-wap-wap a skeep-beep de bop-bop beep bop bo-dope skeetle-at-de-op-de-day” of Piano Concerto No.21. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 6, 2020
Does this mean that John Williams eventual obit will read 'composer who wrote 'durr dumm durr dumm' theme for 'Jaws'? — edgarwright (@edgarwright) July 6, 2020
One of the most famous composers in modern history – and probably the most famous in film history – and this is the crap that's used to inform the world of his passing? I hope it's a rough day in the office for whichever staffer posted this. — Liam (@LSheasby) July 6, 2020
Shame they weren't around for the Beethoven obit. https://t.co/pID6HwAspE — David Quantick (@quantick) July 6, 2020
Oh, THAT Ennio Morricone. — Ross Lawson (@Ross_Lawson) July 6, 2020
To conclude …
“The man leads a decent life and this is how he ends up? Composer who wrote ‘ah-ee-ah-ee-ah’ theme?!” pic.twitter.com/kBCGXJjesG — Scott Innes (@Flying_Inside) July 6, 2020
And this.
Me respectful: 'Ennio Morricone, you know the man who successfully and innovatively blurred the lines between classical, different folk traditions, psychedelia and the avant garde?' professional journalist paid to write:'Yeah the guy who did the wacky ah-ee-ah-ee-ah bit' https://t.co/rrLPwO9bQQ — Rd L (@MrMutantes) July 6, 2020
READ MORE
49 brilliantly underwhelming local news headlines from across the UK
Source Twitter Image YouTube


thepoke--2020-07-06--‘My personal pandemic hero is the gloriously off-message child who did the bottom picture here’

We ’ re grateful to @ tomewing for sharing these particular ‘ rainbow ’ pictures drawn by kids to share @ @ @ @ @ .
The first two are very nicely done but nothing you wouldn ’ t expect @ @ @ @ @ , over to Tom , who said on Twitter : ‘ As lockdown eases my @ @ @ @ @ the gloriously off-message child who did the bottom picture here.
’ A woman filmed herself @ @ @ @ @ in hospital and it may be the greatest self-own

Pics
We’re grateful to @tomewing for sharing these particular ‘rainbow’ pictures that have been drawn by kids to cheer everyone up during the pandemic.
The first two are very nicely done but nothing you wouldn’t expect. The third?
‘As lockdown eases my personal pandemic hero is still the gloriously off-message child who did the bottom picture here,’ said @tomewing.
He’s not kidding.
READ MORE
A woman filmed herself refusing to wear a mask in hospital and it may be the greatest self-own
Source @tomewing


thepoke--2020-07-06--A woman filmed herself refusing to wear a mask in hospital and it may be the greatest self-own

In today ’ s episode of ‘ very angry people who refuse to wear a mask ’ comes this woman @ @ @ @ @ a suspected broken finger .
But she refused to comply with the hospital ’ s @ @ @ @ @ and just to double down on it , she decided to film the whole thing @ @ @ @ @ the greatest self-own ever .
Here are our 7 favourite things people said about it @ @ @ @ @ hilarious thread that shoots down all those flimsy anti-mask excuses

Twitter
In today’s episode of ‘very angry people who refuse to wear a mask’ comes this woman who needed hospital treatment for a suspected broken finger.
But she refused to comply with the hospital’s requirement to wear a mask and just to double down on it, she decided to film the whole thing.
And it may be the greatest self-own ever.
Went into the Emergency Dept. at St Joseph’s Hospital in #Toronto for a suspected broken finger. I was asked to wear a mask, which I refused to do. As a result, hospital staff asked me to leave and immediately called 3 security guards to escort me out. #filmyourhospital pic.twitter.com/7KlDa11udk — Letitia Montana (@LetitiaMontana) July 5, 2020
Here are our 7 favourite things people said about it.
I’m embarrassed for you. Wear a mask and stop behaving like a toddler. — Kimberley Johnson (@AuthorKimberley) July 5, 2020
Imagine if they insisted on sterilizing their instruments before treating you. Imagine if they insisted on washing their hands before operating on you. — Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) July 5, 2020
"HOW DARE YOU NOT ALLOW ME TO POTENTIALLY EXPOSE SICK PEOPLE IN A HOSPITAL TO A DISEASE WHICH I CAN INFECT OTHERS WITH EVEN IF I DON'T HAVE SYMPTOMS!" Seriously, what a selfish asshole you are. — Pé (@4everNeverTrump) July 5, 2020
Next time jump into their medical supplies trash bin and roll around in it to prove the existence of your superpower. — Randi Mayem Singer (@rmayemsinger) July 5, 2020
Imagine posting this and expecting people to agree with you. Hope your finger gets better on its own. — Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) July 5, 2020
Glad you filmed the hospital workers doing their job. Wear a bleeping mask next time. — A.J. "Shield Lesbian" Andrews ⚧♀🏳🌈 (@A_J_Andrews) July 5, 2020
What's hilarious is that you think this makes you look good, and them look bad. I'm proud of St. Joseph's and grateful to their staff. Way to add to their stress by behaving like a spoiled, selfish brat. "Healthy living" is for all of us, not just you. — Chris Jones (@EnswellJones) July 5, 2020
In one word?
Good. — Devin Nunes’ cow 🐮 (@DevinCow) July 5, 2020
READ MORE
Someone has made a hilarious thread that shoots down all those flimsy anti-mask excuses
Source @LetitiaMontana


thepoke--2020-07-06--These ‘patriots’ climbed up a hill to unveil a ‘White Lives Matter’ banner – 9 favourite responses

Just in case – like us – you hadn ’ t come across a group of people who call themselves @ @ @ @ @ , they describe themselves as a ‘ new community based campaigning group that stands up @ @ @ @ @ indigenous people of these islands ’ .
We only mention them because a bunch of @ @ @ @ @ big hill – Mam Tor in the delightful Peak District – to unveil their ‘ @ @ @ @ @ .
And it ’ s fair to say they were brought back down to earth @ @ @ @ @ are our 9 favourite responses , only some of which are about cargo shorts .
@ @ @ @ @ – or right – rich white guy to ask about the protests

Twitter
Just in case – like us – you hadn’t come across a group of people who call themselves the ‘Patriotic Alternative’, they describe themselves as a ‘new community based campaigning group that stands up for the interests of the indigenous people of these islands’.
We only mention them because a bunch of them decided to climb a big hill – Mam Tor in the delightful Peak District – to unveil their ‘White Lives Matter’ banner.
Yesterday, 70 patriots hiked 12 miles, ending up at the top of Mam Tor. Great exercise, great friends, great day!#PatrioticAlternative pic.twitter.com/JF7stIJItV — Patriotic Alternative (@PatAlternative) July 5, 2020
And here are our 9 favourite responses, only some of which are about cargo shorts.
1.
2.
So why won’t any of these patriots show their faces — Hannah 🚲 (@theeyecollector) July 5, 2020
3.
I'm so glad these lads are out there drawing attention to the oppression I suffer on a daily basis as a middle aged white man. https://t.co/vD8L0I6YRn — Jim (@Barcajim3) July 5, 2020
4.
I'm assuming you all hid your faces with the banner so you could show off those 67 pairs of sweet, sweet cargo shorts? https://t.co/UyYWChueVs — Wear A Mask You Goatmouth Motherfuckers (@Kno) July 5, 2020
5.
The high levels of cargo short in this photo tells me everything I need to know 🤢 — Hannah 🚲 (@theeyecollector) July 5, 2020
6.
7.
Mam Tor is, near me. The carpark is only about 60m below the top of the hill. You can see 3-year olds walking up there — Jim Parkin🕯 #BLM #FBPE (@ParkinJim) July 5, 2020
8.
OK, so 70 made it, but many did you leave behind, wheezing? — Louis Barfe (@AlanKelloggs) July 5, 2020
9.
I count, at most, 30 sets of legs hiding behind that banner they’re so proud of. Presumably it took the other 40 people to operate the camera. — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) July 5, 2020
READ MORE
Fox News picked the wrong – or right – rich white guy to ask about the protests
Source @PatAlternative


thepoke--2020-07-06--The Leave Alliance is blaming the Brexit mess on Remainers – 9 brutal takedowns

In a curiously predictable turn of events , pro-Brexit group the Leave Alliance has tweeted that Brexit isn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ fault do they think that is ?
Remainers .
It went down as well as @ @ @ @ @ Wetherspoons , and these reactions show exactly what people think of their hot take .
@ @ @ @ @ need to the Brexit Party MEP ’ s Brexit lightbulb moment

Twitter
In a curiously predictable turn of events, pro-Brexit group the Leave Alliance has tweeted that Brexit isn’t going well, and whose fault do they think that is? Remainers.
It went down as well as a hacking cough in a Wetherspoons, and these reactions show exactly what people think of their hot take.
1.
And so it begins. The blame game. Apparently those objecting to it are to blame for it being so objectionable, because they… objected to it so much. https://t.co/ZbuHCW2Qvb — Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) July 6, 2020
2.
3.
Personally, I blame the people who said 'this will be a disaster' for the upcoming disaster I voted for. — Matthew Williams (@MatthewW1991) July 6, 2020
4.
Peak "I've changed Sharon but this was your fault as much as mine energy" https://t.co/wvMSJpYnhW — Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) July 6, 2020
5.
Imagine voting for garbage, pushing for garbage, cheerleading for garbage, being surprised that you get garbage and then blame the people who actively not tried to get garbage for the garbage. https://t.co/yOJcPWFUo6 — Penanggalan🌍🚀🌌🏳🌈 (@Firesnakious) July 6, 2020
6.
Big “which one one of you cowards shit my pants” energy — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 6, 2020
7.
You fell onto the railway tracks and three times we hauled you back onto the platform. Finally, you threw yourself in front of the on-coming train, and it's somehow our fault? https://t.co/7g9F2GW4F7 — Guy Dorrell 🏴🇪🇺🇭🇷 (@GuyDorrellEsq) July 6, 2020
8.
What an extraordinary thing to say. "I've finally realised the thing I wanted is rubbish so I've decided it's the fault of the people who continually warned me." https://t.co/gLEUYfdHZz — JONNY & THE BAPTISTS (@Jonny_Baptists) July 6, 2020
9.
Is this a spoof? https://t.co/22f3gnmCL6 — David Harewood (@DavidHarewood) July 6, 2020
In conclusion:
Yes Brexit will be a mess. No, you cannot blame remainers who always pointed out it was a mess and thought the public were entitled to an abort button. https://t.co/7YCx0v5QKn — Dr Mike Galsworthy (@mikegalsworthy) July 6, 2020
READ MORE
The only 6 reactions you need to the Brexit Party MEP’s Brexit lightbulb moment
Leave Alliance, Image @eagleboobs on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-07-06--This Tom Cruise presidential campaign video is brilliantly done

This Tom Cruise presidential campaign video is brilliantly done .
And given the way the 2020 race for the White @ @ @ @ @ totally , absolutely , 100 % believable .
It ’ s not a deep fake @ @ @ @ @ Fisher doing an impression .
But that voice … pretty amazing .
Not for nothing @ @ @ @ @ the world ’ s best Tom Cruise impressionist and you can find him on Twitter @ @

Videos
This Tom Cruise presidential campaign video is brilliantly done. And given the way the 2020 race for the White House is shaping up, totally, absolutely, 100% believable.
It’s not a deep fake because it’s Miles Fisher doing an impression. But that voice … pretty amazing.
This is amazing 😂😂😂. I can't believe how much he looks and sounds like him — Nicole Johnson (@nicolej1012) July 4, 2020
This is genuinely amazing. Not just the technical quality of the fake, but the writing and performance is exactly what Tom Cruise should do if he ever runs https://t.co/m4LU133dz7 — Greg Jenner: 'DEAD FAMOUS OUT NOW!' (@greg_jenner) July 4, 2020
To conclude …
Not for nothing has Miles Fisher been called the world’s best Tom Cruise impressionist and you can find him on Twitter here.
READ MORE
This Pierce Brosnan Robin Hood documentary is peak Accidental Partridge
Source @milesfisher H/T @Todd_Spence


thepoke--2020-07-06--This Pierce Brosnan Robin Hood documentary is peak Accidental Partridge

If you only watch one Robin Hood documentary … ever , then make it this one .
It was shared @ @ @ @ @ and it ’ s called Robin Hood : The Myth , the Man , the @ @ @ @ @ ’ s all about Pierce Brosnan because , well , watch .
And just in @ @ @ @ @ … Time to enjoy the best ‘ Accidental Partridge ’ moment ever

Videos
If you only watch one Robin Hood documentary … ever, then make it this one.
It was shared by @SummerRay on Twitter and it’s called Robin Hood: The Myth, the Man, the Movie. But really it’s all about Pierce Brosnan because, well, watch.
Losing my absolute mind at this documentary hosted by Pierce Brosnan about the legend of Robin Hood. It is one of the strongest accidental Partridges you will ever witness pic.twitter.com/F1LLhjL1US — Summer Ray (@SummerRay) July 5, 2020
A-ha!
When he's listing his various names and does that little pause and gesture between Robert……Hood. Pure Partridge. — scribbler81 (@scribbler81) July 5, 2020
Yeah that’s what really got me — Summer Ray (@SummerRay) July 5, 2020
Definitely had 'Castrol GTX' on that back of that jacket. — Herbert Mark Hughes (@HerbertMkHughes) July 6, 2020
Thank you @TheNickHelm via @jason_dawson for making me aware of this — Summer Ray (@SummerRay) July 5, 2020
And just in case you’re interested …
You can watch the full thing here https://t.co/p7n32rZQwc — Summer Ray (@SummerRay) July 5, 2020
READ MORE
Time to enjoy the best ‘Accidental Partridge’ moment ever
Source @SummerRay


thepoke--2020-07-06--People have been joking about the pandemic – the 11 funniest

It ’ s been a big weekend for the coronavirus .
Christmas came early for it when loads of people @ @ @ @ @ and forgot how to socially distance .
In happier news , the government has announced @ @ @ @ @ arts sector , which should help some if not all of the struggling companies from @ @ @ @ @ ’ s what people have been saying about that and other pandemic-related things .
14 @ @ @ @ @ ’ ve seen about the coronavirus

Twitter
It’s been a big weekend for the coronavirus. Christmas came early for it when loads of people went out, got drunk and forgot how to socially distance.
In happier news, the government has announced a £1.5bn package for the arts sector, which should help some if not all of the struggling companies from sliding to destruction.
Here’s what people have been saying about that and other pandemic-related things.
1.
Mind you, I also once gave £1.5bn to the theatre industry, when I bought a gin & tonic and a programme at 'We Will Rock You' — Richard Osman (@richardosman) July 6, 2020
2.
The first rule of Fight Club is that you may fight with one other household in your own home as long as you observe social distancing. — Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) July 4, 2020
3.
Wow. Lockdown really is being lifted. Just saw the Venga Bus is back up and running. Reduced service but still. — Jarlath Regan (@Jarlath) July 3, 2020
4.
it's now legal for two households to meet up, but they have to be both alike in dignity — Lorna Rose 🏳🌈 (@lornlornlors) July 3, 2020
5.
“I’m dying for a beer” has taken on a new meaning today. — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) July 4, 2020
6.
the other benefit for wearing a face mask that we don’t seem to talk about much is that evil spirits that have been banished from other bodies during exorcisms cannot enter your body via your nose or mouth — Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) July 4, 2020
7.
The R rate over the next two weeks pic.twitter.com/ArCVeImEXq — shane reaction (@shane_reaction_) July 5, 2020
8.
Already been to the pub and the hairdressers, I've had a short and a back and sides. — Richard Osman (@richardosman) July 4, 2020
9.
GOVERNMENT: Enjoy pubs and restaurants again! PEOPLE: Yaay GOVERNMENT: Thanks for getting back to work and paying taxes PEOPLE: Umm okay GOVERNMENT: If you get sick and die it's your fault now PEOPLE: Wait what — mo (@chuuew) July 4, 2020
10.
I am exactly one pound lighter than I was before lockdown. I don't want to lecture you all, but it's really not that hard – just say no to that extra roast potato, avoid the odd cream cake and elect to have a limb amputated. Not rocket science. — Jason (@NickMotown) July 5, 2020
11.
– i just slipped in dog shit and fell face first into a swarm of angry bees whilst eating a honey sandwich.
– unlucky, well chin up. at least we’ve our holiday in leicester to look forward to…
– pic.twitter.com/rnxFPLVox4 — forest fr1ends (@forest_fr1ends) July 1, 2020
READ MORE
14 of the funniest jokes we’ve seen about the coronavirus
Image @barncreative on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-07-06--This tree falling over at a busy London junction is an extraordinarily close call

This is just an amazing clip – and an extraordinarily close call – of a tree being blown over at @ @ @ @ @ , shared by @ JonBall on Twitter .
‘ Imagine waiting 5 minutes at railway @ @ @ @ @ ’

Videos
This is just an amazing clip – and an extraordinarily close call – of a tree being blown over at a junction in west London, shared by @JonBall on Twitter.
Here’s the tree at the junction of South Ealing Road and Little Ealing Lane getting blown over this afternoon. Amazing car cam footage by Joanna Wolman. (Some understandable swearing!) pic.twitter.com/zlFcDFuXWX — Jon Ball🟡 (@JonBall) July 5, 2020
Blimey.
Thank goodness those pedestrians quickly moved out of the way 🙏🏻 Extraordinary footage. — Amy McConville (@One_Lung_Amy) July 5, 2020
Even tress have had enough of 2020😂 — Kez (@kezzle168) July 5, 2020
poor thing had hardly any root system. — Miss crabstick (@lucyjanebrown47) July 5, 2020
That woman in Blue is like "A tree fell down, but I've got places to go and people to see, move on…" — Lenzo Toggz 🛡 (@LenzoToggz) July 5, 2020
Is that now classed as a trunk road? — Col (@Clintus_erectus) July 5, 2020
READ MORE
‘Imagine waiting 5 minutes at railway crossing and then see this’
Source @JonBall


thepoke--2020-07-06--Someone has made a hilarious thread that shoots down all those flimsy anti-mask excuses

We ’ ve all seen – online , if not in real life – people saying they ’ re not @ @ @ @ @ masks or social distancing because it infringes on their civil liberties .
This thread about @ @ @ @ @ puts it into perspective by flipping the usual complaints on their head .
We think @ @ @ @ @ for anyone who won ’ t wear a mask .
The Freedom Cafe shares that @ @ @ @ @ beloved of anti-maskers .
Individual freedoms are prized above other people ’ s safety .
@ @ @ @ @ of conspiracy theories , the Freedom Cafe gets its information from YouTube .
That lax @ @ @ @ @ to Freedom Cafe ’ s right to handle customers ’ food In fact , utensils @ @ @ @ @ – because it ’ s against people ’ s civil liberties to force them to @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
We’ve all seen – online, if not in real life – people saying they’re not prepared to follow guidance on masks or social distancing because it infringes on their civil liberties.
This thread about the “Freedom Café” puts it into perspective by flipping the usual complaints on their head.
We think this should be required reading for anyone who won’t wear a mask.
The Freedom Cafe shares that spirit of personal choice so beloved of anti-maskers.
Welcome to the Freedom Cafe! We trust you to make your own choices if you want to wear a face mask. And, in the same spirit of individual liberty, we allow our staff to make their own choices about the safety procedures they prefer to follow as they prepare and serve your food. — Libby (@libbyjones715) June 28, 2020
Individual freedoms are prized above other people’s safety.
We encourage employees to wash their hands after using the bathroom, but understand that some people may be allergic to certain soaps or may simply prefer not to wash their hands. It is not our place to tell them what to do. — Libby (@libbyjones715) June 28, 2020
Via
Like virus deniers and spreaders of conspiracy theories, the Freedom Cafe gets its information from YouTube.
We understand that you may be used to chicken that has been cooked to 165 degrees. We do have to respect that some of our cooks may have seen a meme or a YouTube video saying that 100 degrees is sufficient, and we do not want to encroach on their beliefs. — Libby (@libbyjones715) June 28, 2020
Via
Allergen list? Forget about that
Some of our cooks may prefer to use the same utensils for multiple ingredients, including ingredients some customers are allergic to. That is a cook’s right to do so. — Libby (@libbyjones715) June 28, 2020
That lax hand hygiene is no barrier to Freedom Cafe’s right to handle customers’ food
Some servers may wish to touch your food as they serve it. There is no reason that a healthy person with clean hands can’t touch your food. We will take their word for it that they are healthy and clean. — Libby (@libbyjones715) June 28, 2020
Via
In fact, utensils aren’t necessarily clean – because it’s against people’s civil liberties to force them to use hot water and soap


thepoke--2020-07-06--‘A short story about Serena Williams’

‘A short story about Serena Williams’

In the absence of a lot of live sport over the last few months , people have been spending time @ @ @ @ @ players , that kind of thing .
And just in case you were still wondering @ @ @ @ @ player ever , comes this .
A short story in three parts shared by @ @ @ @ @ @ it got us thinking of this very funny video of some men trying to return @ @ @ @ @ One in 8 men who think they could take a point off Serena Williams – @ @ @

Twitter
In the absence of a lot of live sport over the last few months, people have been spending time compiling lists of best ever players, that kind of thing.
And just in case you were still wondering who is the best tennis player ever, comes this. A short story in three parts shared by @JaleelSpeaQs on Twitter.
Boom.
Not gonna lie, when I originally saw the stat, took me about 10 seconds to realize where the missing one was😂😂😂 — Ran Fin (@ranfin12) July 3, 2020
Uhh 10 seconds! Shiittttee, you noticed pic.twitter.com/gbXKQL4NTK — Solange Fingal (@SolangeFingal) July 3, 2020
And it got us thinking of this very funny video of some men trying to return a Serena Williams serve.
To all the non-tennis-playing men who think they can win a point against Serena, watch this… 🙃👸🏾🎾 pic.twitter.com/GEDQb76KHt — EBC (@ItsBlackCulture) July 19, 2019
READ MORE
One in 8 men who think they could take a point off Serena Williams – 14 perfect returns
Source @JaleelSpeaQs Image YouTube


thepoke--2020-07-06--This baby playing the drums is next level stuff

This baby playing the drums is a wonderful , awe-inspiring watch .
This baby playing the drums with daddy is @ @ @ @ @ ll see today .
Come for the drums – stay for the boo-boo kiss… pic.twitter.com/tekvMkZKGm

This baby playing the drums is a wonderful, awe-inspiring watch.
This baby playing the drums with daddy is the best thing you’ll see today.
Come for the drums – stay for the boo-boo kiss… pic.twitter.com/tekvMkZKGm
— Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) July 3, 2020


thepoke--2020-07-06--The guy who mansplained Sarah Silverman’s joke wins Mansplainer of the Week™

To be filed under ‘ jokes that are made funnier by people not getting them ’ comes this , a @ @ @ @ @ ’ s joke back to her .
And he naturally wins our newly-trademarked Mansplainer of @ @ @ @ @ times people not getting the joke made it so much funnier

Twitter
To be filed under ‘jokes that are made funnier by people not getting them’ comes this, a guy who mansplained Sarah Silverman’s joke back to her.
And he naturally wins our newly-trademarked Mansplainer of the Week™ award.
READ MORE
17 times people not getting the joke made it so much funnier
H/T @MooseAllain The Image YouTube


thepoke--2020-07-08--26 weird and wonderful perfectly timed photos

If you ’ ve been to the beach , you probably have a scavenging gull story , but not many @ @ @ @ @ moment as beautifully as this photo which was recently shared on Twitter .
It got @ @ @ @ @ moments might have been snapped , so we did some digging and found these beauties @ @ @ @ @ stick to regular Jenga 2 .
Isn ’ t the man supposed to ride the @ @ @ @ @ exact moment this mum realises the candle is a sparkler 5 .
What did he @ @ @ @ @ lit the firework ?
7 .
He ’ s going to regret that 10 .
@ @ @ @ @ with that 11 .
Surfer Mick Fanning must be used to a faceful of foam @ @ @ @ @ that ?
13 .
She might need a bit of a shave

Pics
If you’ve been to the beach, you probably have a scavenging gull story, but not many have managed to capture the moment as beautifully as this photo which was recently shared on Twitter.
Seagull stealing a meatball. Bulgaria’s Black Sea coast. Photo: Alexander Ivanov Masteral pic.twitter.com/UdBLtR2O4f — Dimitar Bechev (@DimitarBechev) July 6, 2020
It got us wondering what other perfect moments might have been snapped, so we did some digging and found these beauties.
1. Maybe just stick to regular Jenga
Via
2. Isn’t the man supposed to ride the horse?
Via
3. The exact moment this mum realises the candle is a sparkler
Via
4. Those goggles look a bit flimsy
Via
5. What did he think would happen if he lit the firework?
Via
6. Smile for the camera
Via
7. He’s going to regret that
Via
8. Good job there’s a soft landing
Via
9. That’s wheely going to hurt
Via
10. You might want some sauce with that
Via
11. Surfer Mick Fanning must be used to a faceful of foam
Via
12. Whose head is that?
Via
13. She might need a bit of a shave
Via


thepoke--2020-07-08--The hilarious Jurassic Park Updates Twitter account is on course to be a roaring success – our top 1

The hilarious Jurassic Park Updates Twitter account is on course to be a roaring success – our top 10 tweets

There ’ s a new and very funny Twitter account distracting us from work , life , and – most @ @ @ @ @ Jurassic Park Updates does what it says on the tin , to hilarious effect .
@ @ @ @ @ brilliant tweets to give you a taster .
Now go and follow them .
This @ @ @ @ @ is the best one you ’ ll read today

Twitter
There’s a new and very funny Twitter account distracting us from work, life, and – most importantly – the news.
Jurassic Park Updates does what it says on the tin, to hilarious effect. We’ve picked ten brilliant tweets to give you a taster.
1.
Science Fact: Our team of bone doctors are able to put bones back inside the dinosaur's meat, which is how they can walk around like in olden times. What would you do with YOUR bones? — Jurassic Park Updates (@JurassicPark2go) July 7, 2020
2.
many guests are asking if dinosaurs are “different from dragons”. we hear you and we are looking into it — Jurassic Park Updates (@JurassicPark2go) July 6, 2020
3.
the screaming is fine we just checked it out it was nothing — Jurassic Park Updates (@JurassicPark2go) July 7, 2020
4.
if anyone sees a dinosaur in like a random place let us know haha — Jurassic Park Updates (@JurassicPark2go) July 6, 2020
5.
Stop complaining about our disgusting bathrooms. We have dinosaurs. We are a miracle — Jurassic Park Updates (@JurassicPark2go) July 7, 2020
6.
Science Fact: Dinosaurs are birds. Our whole park is just a bunch of huge birds. We realized this because a lot of them go SQUAK! — Jurassic Park Updates (@JurassicPark2go) July 7, 2020
7.
if a dinosaur approaches you tell it to knock it off — Jurassic Park Updates (@JurassicPark2go) July 6, 2020
8.
a lot of people think one of our triceratops took that huge triceratops dump that you see in the movie but actually we used triceratops dump dna to recreate a huge pile of triceratops shit — Jurassic Park Updates (@JurassicPark2go) July 7, 2020
9.
as of today Jurassic Park is officially safer than the beach — Jurassic Park Updates (@JurassicPark2go) July 6, 2020
10.
the tour guides know the names of some of the dinosaurs like tyrannosaurus rex and velociraptor but there will be others where they pull up and just say “heres some dinosaurs” — Jurassic Park Updates (@JurassicPark2go) July 7, 2020
BONUS:
if you lost a loved one to a winged dinosaur today they have an unfair advantage so we’ll give you a free admission tomorrow. if you lost someone to a dinosaur on legs sorry but we have legs too — Jurassic Park Updates (@JurassicPark2go) July 7, 2020
Seems fair.
Now go and follow them.
READ MORE
This Jurassic Park themed Amazon review is the best one you’ll read today
Source Jurassic Park Updates Image Screengrabs


thepoke--2020-07-08--The only 5 reactions you need to the Tories planning a video-link party conference

Parliament will go into recess later this month and conference season will follow on fairly swiftly from its return in @ @ @ @ @ it usually does .
Interesting .
These five reactions say it better than we could @ @ @ @ @ a different kind of disappointment to the excellent Mark Francois parody account .
Boris Johnson @ @ @ @ @ Tory party conference – only 6 responses you need

Twitter
Parliament will go into recess later this month and conference season will follow on fairly swiftly from its return in September – but not as it usually does.
BREAKING: Tory conference cancelled and replaced by virtual event due to coronavirus crisis https://t.co/TDhf0D23Je — HuffPost UK (@HuffPostUK) July 7, 2020
Interesting. These five reactions say it better than we could.
1.
Something to think about at the pub https://t.co/twDtWpNgzM — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 7, 2020
2.
Breaking: the Conservative party conference has been cancelled, and will be replaced by an artist’s impression of Mark Francois shouting into a paper bag. — paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) July 7, 2020
3.
They should change the venue to a school.
I'm sure it would be safe then pic.twitter.com/s70ib455tY — joe heenan (@joeheenan) July 7, 2020
4.
Recreate it at home by banging 2 grams and shouting racist tropes at passers by. https://t.co/7SDMTYHKIA — Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) July 7, 2020
5.
They should 'show some guts' and have it in a Wetherspoons… go to work, go to the pub, but we're cancelling the Tory conference as it's not safe. https://t.co/zg03J3M37Q pic.twitter.com/QweVokh7VJ — luke bainbridge (@lukebainbridge) July 7, 2020
The news came as a different kind of disappointment to the excellent Mark Francois parody account.
Nooooooooooooooooo. What about the quiz?
😱😱😱😱😱😱 https://t.co/1qPRJh9O5U — Mark ne-Francois-pas MP (@MarkFrancois12) July 7, 2020
It’s fine – they’ll probably do a Zoom quiz.
READ MORE
Boris Johnson’s speech to the Tory party conference – only 6 responses you need
Source Huffington Post Image Screengrab Screengrab,


thepoke--2020-07-08--A TikToker’s conundrum over his salt and pepper pots has us all shaking our heads

On TikTok , Garret Burns shared a quandary over a cruet set , and it ’ s an argument for @ @ @ @ @ to be clever , because it can backfire .
That ’ s two pepper pots @ @ @ @ @ weren ’ t much help .
Buzzfeed editor Elamin Abdelmahmoud shared the clip on Twitter @ @ @ @ @ picked up nearly half a million views in a matter of hours .
Twitter wasn @ @ @ @ @ , but the comments were funnier .
If you were wondering what Garret decided in @ @ @ @ @ s a follow-up video .
The Most Confusing Toilets Ever ?

Videos
On TikTok, Garret Burns shared a quandary over a cruet set, and it’s an argument for designers to pack in trying to be clever, because it can backfire.
That’s two pepper pots, right? TikTok users weren’t much help.
Look at the holes! Salt shakers have more holes than pepper shakers.
Rynn
Whichever one has more holes is pepper.
Noen Eubanks
Buzzfeed editor Elamin Abdelmahmoud shared the clip on Twitter, where it’s picked up nearly half a million views in a matter of hours.
I am having an absolute meltdown pic.twitter.com/2I1OeaWYNj — Elamin Abdelmahmoud (@elamin88) July 7, 2020
Twitter wasn’t any help either, but the comments were funnier.
this is what 90% of conversations about metaphysics sound like to me https://t.co/oa1galRM8c — A.G. Holdier (@agholdier) July 8, 2020
When our summer students have to interpret a statute. https://t.co/qOYaYK1r3R — Knott Reel LLP (@KnottReelLLP) July 7, 2020
This tshirt says “Engineer” which makes total sense. https://t.co/l5umgRegQv — Chris Albon (@chrisalbon) July 7, 2020
Not to be one of those tiresome long-toothed coots droning on about “the youth on TiKTok will save us” but the youth on TiKTok will save us https://t.co/mRQMaGImjE — The Mountain Goats (@mountain_goats) July 7, 2020
If you were wondering what Garret decided in the end, here’s a follow-up video.
READ MORE
The Most Confusing Toilets Ever?
Source Garret Burns Image Garret Burns


thepoke--2020-07-08--People are appalled that the NHS free parking is ending – 9 scathing reactions

As the Chancellor ’ s mini-budget approaches , crumbs of his plans have been thrown to the press , with @ @ @ @ @ arts sector and a green jobs boost blazing the trail .
However , it isn @ @ @ @ @ , as The i newspaper ’ s Hugo Gye broke to Twitter on Tuesday night @ @ @ @ @ was very vocal in the push for free parking , was appalled .
He wasn @ @ @ @ @ .
Nigel Farage ’ s show of support for the NHS rang hollow – 7 @ @

Twitter
As the Chancellor’s mini-budget approaches, crumbs of his plans have been thrown to the press, with headliners like money for the arts sector and a green jobs boost blazing the trail.
However, it isn’t all good news, as The i newspaper’s Hugo Gye broke to Twitter on Tuesday night.
EXC @theipaper Govt confirms it will drop funding for NHS staff free parking at hospitals Ministers resist calls to make emergency scheme permanenthttps://t.co/qSaxPPFz6N — Hugo Gye (@HugoGye) July 7, 2020
Piers Morgan, who was very vocal in the push for free parking, was appalled.
WHAT????? Is this how you reward our NHS heroes @MattHancock??
Shame on you. 👇 https://t.co/xtuMX65JVF — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) July 7, 2020
He wasn’t the only one.
1.
Clamp for carers https://t.co/H6hWiCUFJj — Adam Kay (@amateuradam) July 7, 2020
2.
Alexa. Show me a shameless hypocrite. pic.twitter.com/B7btZUHrhb — David Schneider (@davidschneider) July 7, 2020
3.
“Can we have a pay rise?”
“No”
“PPE?”
“A bit”
“Weekly coronavirus tests so we don’t die?”
“No”
“Can we at least have free parking”
“Of course”
“Thank you”
“Is gone” https://t.co/nPljfEvwgW — James Felton (@JimMFelton) July 7, 2020
4.
Starting a book on how long it will take before there's a U-Turn on this great scoop. https://t.co/MF1m3Ojjdb — Stephen Bush (@stephenkb) July 7, 2020
5.
We'll clap them on Sunday, then take away their free parking on Wednesday https://t.co/BqxpuuBv3p — Munira Wilson MP (@munirawilson) July 7, 2020
6.
Oh but I'm sure they can pay using all that accumulated clapping everyone did right? Right? https://t.co/M8ilipbz2d — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) July 7, 2020
7.
They can't go a day without doing something evil.
Their heads would explode otherwise. https://t.co/WvpAA3wYwI — James Doleman (@jamesdoleman) July 7, 2020
8.
They're handling this so well. https://t.co/H1OgBtIBxd — Mike Holden (@MikeHolden42) July 7, 2020
9.
Imagine having to risk your life fighting Covid-19 but first having to find some 50ps https://t.co/y9acB0j4yW — Sian Harries (@sianharries_) July 7, 2020
Finally, Benjamin Butterworth made an excellent point about funding.
We have the money to re-paint a jet for the Prime Minister, but not to give NHS staff free parking after months of hell protecting the rest of us in a pandemic. https://t.co/QYk7dMKjkK — Benjamin Butterworth (@benjaminbutter) July 7, 2020
READ MORE
Nigel Farage’s show of support for the NHS rang hollow – 7 scathing clapbacks
Source Hugo Gye Image @impossible_monster on Unsplash, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-07-07--Mark Francois threatened the Army with Dominic Cummings – 9 fully-loaded takedowns

Tory MP Mark Francois – sorry – hit something approaching ‘ peak Francois ’ today in a Select Committee exchange @ @ @ @ @ Specifically , in an exchange about where the Army buys its equipment , Francois had @ @ @ @ @ Sir Nick Carter , chief of the defence staff .
“ Can we just make @ @ @ @ @ You are the professional head of the armed forces .
“ Please nip back to @ @ @ @ @ to sort their bloody selves out , because if not , Cummings is going to @ @ @ @ @ you out his own way , and you won ’ t like it.
” And @ @ @ @ @ things people said about it .
Or if you fancy it especially NSFW .
Mark @ @ @ @ @ Barnier got exactly the reaction it deserved – 12 hilarious takedowns

Pics
Tory MP Mark Francois – sorry – hit something approaching ‘peak Francois’ today in a Select Committee exchange with Army top brass.
Specifically, in an exchange about where the Army buys its equipment, Francois had this to say to General Sir Nick Carter, chief of the defence staff.
Mark Francois to Britain's top general: "Cummings is gonna come down and sort you out his own way and you won't like it" Confirming the country is under the control of an unelected dictator. pic.twitter.com/p1hg2qvxtg — JackJazz (@JayJay08752584) July 7, 2020
“Can we just make a plea to you. You are the professional head of the armed forces. “Please nip back to the department and ask them to sort their bloody selves out, because if not, Cummings is going to come down there and sort you out his own way, and you won’t like it.”
And here are our 9 favourite things people said about it.
1.
I can confirm that myself and Dominic Cummings will be meeting General Nick Carter for a straightener behind the bike sheds after work. pic.twitter.com/HJ2NGKbooG — Mark ne-Francois-pas MP (@MarkFrancois12) July 7, 2020
2.
Imagine being head of the armed forces, and having Mark Francois trying to intimidate you. It’s like a chinuaua trying to scare a bull mastiff. pic.twitter.com/eQFt6xzo8V — Damon (@damocrat) July 7, 2020
3.
Mark Francois to Britain's top general: "Please nip back to the department and ask them to sort their bloody selves out because if not Cummings is gonna come down and sort you out his own way and you won't like it" His face says it all. pic.twitter.com/1x09w3580Q — Dan O'Donoghue (@MrDanDonoghue) July 7, 2020
4.
Is the *power snort* something you picked up in the TA, and if so is this the first time you’ve used it in combat? — London Lofty (@lofty_london) July 7, 2020
5.
https://twitter.com/SpillerOfTea/status/1280548827083177984?s=20
6.
It must be very galling for a professional soldier to be spoken to like that by a weekend soldier whose ‘finest hour’ took place at laser quest. — Roger van de Velde 🌹 (@RogervandeVelde) July 7, 2020
7.
Mark Francois’s behaviour is so pathetic it does seem to imply he may be the only human whose penis is smaller when erect. — Chris Addison (@mrchrisaddison) July 7, 2020
8.
The ‘inhale & snort’ at the end is so reminiscent of every single passive-aggressive wee prick I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. I wonder which death-grip the General was contemplating & whether his time in Kosovo, Basra & Afghanistan could possibly prepare him 4 Cummings. — Drum (@drumlumbo) July 7, 2020
9.
why is mark francois in parliament and not where he should be, distracting bus drivers by telling them made up stories about his guns — joe (@mutablejoe) July 7, 2020
To conclude …
Threatening the General, Sir Nick Carter The Chief of Defence that he and his men will get a good telling off by an unelected adviser. British Politics. https://t.co/LXfk9sZKmY — Adil Ray OBE (@adilray) July 7, 2020
And also this.
I'm Mark Francois and having fought and died in two world wars, I reserve the right to issue the order: 'Send in the unelected bureaucrats' https://t.co/ORsgzu6yf2 — Mark ne-Francois-pas MP (@MarkFrancois12) July 7, 2020
Or if you fancy it especially NSFW.
Mark Francois is like every right-wing wank tissue melted down, mixed with a gerbil, and pumped into the jelly mould of a cunt. — John Rain (@MrKenShabby) July 7, 2020
READ MORE
Mark Francois’ letter to Michel Barnier got exactly the reaction it deserved – 12 hilarious takedowns


thepoke--2020-07-07--This ‘book hack’ is so awful even the bad-tea American mum would reject it (probably)

There are lots of different ways you can make your books look nice on your shelf .
Maybe organise them @ @ @ @ @ , or do what we do and just make sure they are all facing the @ @ @ @ @ , you could try this so-called ‘ book hack ’ which is so bad even @ @ @ @ @ you remember – would reject it .
Well , probably .
The internet , needless @ @ @ @ @ .
The bad tea American mum just made a ‘ traditional British breakfast ’ and @ @ @ @ @ the entire country

Videos
There are lots of different ways you can make your books look nice on your shelves. Maybe organise them by size, or colour, or do what we do and just make sure they are all facing the right way round.
Alternatively, you could try this so-called ‘book hack’ which is so bad even the American tea mum – you remember – would reject it. Well, probably.
Help. Have just come across this horror on TikTok and had to share with all of you book people because a little bit of me died inside pic.twitter.com/Zj6eH4qXGG — Ryan Hammond (@hamdesign) July 6, 2020
The internet, we’re grateful to report, was united.
ABSOLUTELY 100% NO. — Alex T Smith 🇪🇺 (@Alex_T_Smith) July 6, 2020
Think I just found the worst video on the internet pic.twitter.com/vuaMTDPmVy — caro (@StudioCaroBE) July 7, 2020
As the UK editor of the brilliant Joanna Nell's THE LAST VOYAGE OF MRS HENRY PARKER, I am speechless!!!!! SO RUDE!!!! — Thorne Ryan (@ThorneyRyan) July 7, 2020
Blue Peter was the worst thing to happen to my fucking generation I swear to god pic.twitter.com/PrSJjHalc7 — Jake Johnstone (@hijakejohnstone) July 7, 2020
100% should go to jail pic.twitter.com/PA4Z1u84Ha — Ryan Hammond (@hamdesign) July 6, 2020
To conclude …
READ MORE
The bad tea American mum just made a ‘traditional British breakfast’ and she’s basically trolling the entire country
Source @hamdesign


thepoke--2020-07-07--Simply 17 very funny software fails to make your day better

It ’ s not often you associate a catastrophic software fail with making your day better .
These 17 are @ @ @ @ @ and not only because they happened to someone other than you .
The good people @ @ @ @ @ a whole bunch and here are our favourites .
1 .
Thanks For Having My @ @ @ @ @ 4 .
What The Hell Did I Do 5 .
I Got A Coupon Code @ @ @ @ @ Headphones That Ended Up Being 98 % Off When I Entered The Code 6 .
@ @ @ @ @ No 9 .
Thanks For The Help , Siri

Weird World
It’s not often you associate a catastrophic software fail with making your day better. These 17 are something else, however, and not only because they happened to someone other than you.
The good people of BoredPanda have put together a whole bunch and here are our favourites.
1. Thanks For Having My Back Tinder, I Guess
(via)
2. How?
(via)
3. Setting A Reminder
(via)
4. What The Hell Did I Do
(via)
5. I Got A Coupon Code For 30% Off Bluetooth Headphones That Ended Up Being 98% Off When I Entered The Code
(via)
6. Could Not Copy Files Because No
(via)
7. Uh-oh
(via)
8. Everything Is Broken
(via)
9. Thanks For The Help, Siri
(via)


thepoke--2020-07-07--Someone’s made ‘Jane Austen Monopoly’ and it’s a thing of wonder

It ’ s a truth universally acknowledged that Monopoly can drag on a bit .
But now someone ’ s @ @ @ @ @ for this we ’ d make an exception .
It was shared by Sophie Jackson @ @ @ @ @ – who had this to say about it .
And here it is ( you @ @ @ @ @ in a bit for the full delight of it all ) .
The detail !
@ @ @ @ @ !
Just … wow .
It was made by graphic designer Josh Jordan for his @ @ @ @ @ anniversary , according to the Shropshire Star .
Sophie ’ s got more than 50 @ @ @ @ @ s books ( and also ran a podcast called The Bennet Edit ) and Josh @ @ @ @ @ writing box that belonged to his great-grandfather .
Here are just some of the things @ @ @ @ @ There are more pictures here .
It reminded us of Jane Austen Bingo from a @ @ @ @ @ NYT correction just gets better and better ”

Pics
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that Monopoly can drag on a bit. But now someone’s made Jane Austen Monopoly and for this we’d make an exception.
It was shared by Sophie Jackson – @sophlynne on Twitter – who had this to say about it.
‘UMMM my partner designed & made this jane austen monopoly for me from scratch I’m—💀💀🤯🤯🥰🥰🥰 !!!!!!!!’
And here it is (you’ll have to zoom in a bit for the full delight of it all).
The detail! The design! The finish! Just … wow.
It was made by graphic designer Josh Jordan for his girlfriend Sophie for their second anniversary, according to the Shropshire Star.
Sophie’s got more than 50 copies of Jane Austen’s books (and also ran a podcast called The Bennet Edit) and Josh was inspired by an old writing box that belonged to his great-grandfather.
Here are just some of the things people said about it.
Please show us more of the letter/door knock cards! I love this so much, best gift I’ve seen on twitter dot com in years. — James Mackenzie (@mrjamesmack) June 29, 2020
here’s a small selection for you! pic.twitter.com/SIIm7KAwOR — Sophie (@sophlynne) June 29, 2020
this is… incredible… ???? i’m actually in complete shock over how great this is omg… 😍😭 — natalie (@nellingtonboots) June 28, 2020
it’s pretty ridiculous isn’t it! josh and his grandad did the wood bits, his friend 3D printed the houses, another friend did the card printing, and so on. josh is a graphic designer so he did all the design bits! — Sophie (@sophlynne) June 29, 2020
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a Jane Austen Monopoly set. — Jen (@JenLawsonUK) June 29, 2020
I hope, reader, you married him. That’s awesome — Samuel West (@exitthelemming) June 29, 2020
There are more pictures here.
I took some photos and wrote a bit about how I made it on my website https://t.co/Kvux7ljhNX — Josh Jordan (@joshmcmxci) June 29, 2020
Also …
if you like this, go listen to my and @eleanorrthomas’s old podcast @thebennetedit for more Austen fun — Sophie (@sophlynne) June 29, 2020
It reminded us of Jane Austen Bingo from a while back.
READ MORE
“This NYT correction just gets better and better”
Source @sophlynne


thepoke--2020-07-07--This dog blissing out on a trampoline is just the content we needed today

What better than a trampoline to give you a lift ?
Turns out it ’ s a dog on a @ @ @ @ @ fun 13 seconds we ’ ll watch today .
Doesn ’ t work with every @ @ @ @ @ .
Someone got brutally murdered by words – over a tortoise

Videos
What better than a trampoline to give you a lift? Turns out it’s a dog on a trampoline, possibly the most fun 13 seconds we’ll watch today.
this is the most happy-making thing i have ever seen in my life pic.twitter.com/sKqEdMWJVG — Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) July 5, 2020
Wonderful.
the wildly misplaced and impossible confidence at the beginning when the little guy thinks he’s gonna jump high enough to get up there — Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) July 6, 2020
Doesn’t work with every dog, it turns out.
Where do people find these super-cutesy pups? I tried to introduce mine to trampolining but she just looked confused, ate the foam surround, and went back indoors to do a poo by the dishwasher. — **M ****E* (@gotimmy) July 5, 2020
READ MORE
Someone got brutally murdered by words – over a tortoise
Source @ladyhaja @dogsoutofcontxt