thepoke--2020-10-14--People love the dog captured in the back of this TV news broadcast – 6 favourite things people said

People love the dog captured in the back of this TV news broadcast – 6 favourite things people said about it

Very possibly the most delightful thing you ’ ll see this week , the dog captured in the back of this TV news interview which is making the entire internet go ‘ awwwww !
’ It was shared on Reddit by Heisenberg1899 and , well , ‘ awwwww !
’ .
And here are our 6 favourite things people said about it .
‘ That dog ’ s face says “ I ’ m not really sleeping but I was here before you started recording .
I ’ m not moving !
” hrakkari “ I know the situation in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I ’ m waiting for my walk !
” Frenchticklers ‘ Excuse me : IT HAS ITS OWN DOGGO SIZED COUCH.
’ Belleniel ‘ And the pillow is shaped like a bone.
’ breadedfishstrip I ’ m a little tired right now so my brain was frazzled when I saw this , I thought it was either a really big dog or a really small couch , I ’ m assuming it ’ s the latter.
’ dopepope1999 ‘ Neither .
Everything is giant sized .
Even the reporter .
He ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Channel5exclusive Turns out it ’ s the station ’ s weather forecaster and the dog makes regular appearances .
‘ This is the weather forecaster at the local Fox station in DFW , early on during the COVID , he removed the dogs from out of camera view and there was a huge response to bring the dogs back .
I ’ m glad he did , as a local in DFW , this is always a highlights of my morning.
’ withaph64 This tuneful trick involving water-filled bottles , drum sticks and @ @ @ @ @ @

Pics
Very possibly the most delightful thing you’ll see this week, the dog captured in the back of this TV news broadcast which is making the entire internet go ‘awwwww!’
It was shared on Reddit by Heisenberg1899 and, well …
And here are our 6 favourite things people said about it.
‘That dog’s face says “I’m not really sleeping but I was here before you started recording. I’m not moving!” hrakkari “I know the situation in the Middle East is dire, but I’m waiting for my walk!” Frenchticklers ‘Excuse me: IT HAS ITS OWN DOGGO SIZED COUCH.’ Belleniel ‘And the pillow is shaped like a bone.’ breadedfishstrip I’m a little tired right now so my brain was frazzled when I saw this , I thought it was either a really big dog or a really small couch, I’m assuming it’s the latter.’ dopepope1999 ‘Neither. Everything is giant sized. Even the reporter. He’s Hagrid’s brother, Grawp.’ Channel5exclusive
Turns out it’s the station’s weather forecaster and the dog makes regular appearances.
‘This is the weather forecaster at the local Fox station in DFW, early on during the COVID, he removed the dogs from out of camera view and there was a huge response to bring the dogs back. I’m glad he did, as a local in DFW, this is always a highlights of my morning.’ withaph64
Fabulous.
‘Finally, a news program reporting on the important stuff.’ judocouch
READ MORE
This tuneful trick involving water-filled bottles, drum sticks and a toy train is brilliantly done
Source Reddit u/Heisenberg1899


thepoke--2020-10-14--This tuneful trick involving water-filled bottles, drum sticks and a toy train is brilliantly done

This tuneful trick from Japanese TV involving water-filled bottles , drum sticks and a toy train is so good you @ @ @ @ @ than once .
But it ’ s never better than that moment , the first @ @ @ @ @ when you realise exactly what they ’ re trying to do .
This sheep discovered @ @ @ @ @ and it ’ s just what we needed today

Videos
This tuneful trick from Japanese TV involving water-filled bottles, drum sticks and a toy train is so good you’ll watch it more than once.
But it’s never better than that moment, the first time you see it, when you realise exactly what they’re trying to do.
Glorious!
This might be the peak of human existence … https://t.co/pwDC8cz8JW — Brian Campbell (@BCampbellCBS) October 14, 2020
Not only do they build massive, efficient, country-wide high speed rail systems, they can build trains that play the classics. https://t.co/lqzKyWNggI — Derek Bauman (@derekbauman) October 14, 2020
https://twitter.com/nadinevdVelde/status/1316221943561940992?s=20
get these geniuses on the covid vaccine dilemma, now! https://t.co/8ZvwoRnzIA — LUKE BΞATTY (@luke_beatty) October 14, 2020
READ MORE
This sheep discovered how to use a trampoline and it’s just what we needed today
Source @FieraIngenieria @RexChapman


thepoke--2020-10-14--‘Gender reveal gone right’

‘Gender reveal gone right’

If you really must do one of those gender reveal things , then surely this is how it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ even buy a single diaper ?
He probably had to buy a whole box of @ @ @ @ @ he Rents the diaper with an option to buy later ?
To actually purchase in @ @ @ @ @ foolish.
’ anonymouse0789 ‘ You assume he didn ’ t already have one.
’ GiveToOedipus

If you really must do one of those gender reveal things, then surely this is how it’s done.
‘That man bought a diaper for this.’ unweildyshiba
‘Can one even buy a single diaper? He probably had to buy a whole box of Depends.’ kennytucson
‘Perhaps he Rents the diaper with an option to buy later? To actually purchase in these uncertain times could be foolish.’ anonymouse0789
‘You assume he didn’t already have one.’ GiveToOedipus


thepoke--2020-10-14--Emily Maitlis’s legs disappeared on Newsnight and we can’t stop watching

Of all the reasons we might tune into BBC2 ’ s Newsnight , ‘ where have Emily Maitlis ’ s @ @ @ @ @ ’ t one of them .
Until now .
Seriously , where have they gone @ @ @ @ @ what the presenter had to say later .

Videos
Of all the reasons we might tune into BBC2’s Newsnight, ‘where have Emily Maitlis’s legs gone?’ wasn’t one of them. Until now.
As if 2020 wasn’t already bad enough, Emily Maitlis has been robbed of her legs. #Newsnight pic.twitter.com/Hza9TwYL6Z — David Schneider (@davidschneider) October 13, 2020
Seriously, where have they gone?
They are on a government Excel spreadsheet somewhere. — Gary (@CampbellGazz) October 13, 2020
Those BBC cuts were more severe than I thought! — William Wardley (@williamwardley) October 13, 2020
And I thought it would be harder to get legless with the 10pm curfew. — Chris Holton (@bass_n_bass) October 13, 2020
She’s like Wordy 😁 — Bluesmachine100 (@Bluesmachine100) October 13, 2020
For those not in the know 😁 pic.twitter.com/iOJFGA1XsO — Bluesmachine100 (@Bluesmachine100) October 13, 2020
And here’s what the presenter had to say later.
I now work from home with my own hologram. Perfect for quarantine. https://t.co/pt40tb3Vgg — emily m (@maitlis) October 13, 2020
Makes perfect sense now.
READ MORE
Simply 9 times Emily Maitlis was our absolute queen
Source @davidschneider


thepoke--2020-10-14--This 2018 clip of Michael Gove guaranteeing food import standards hasn’t aged well

After some to-ing and fro-ing , parliament has rejected attempts to ensure future food imports maintain current UK food and @ @ @ @ @ activists , Save British Farming , shared this video of Michael Gove talking on BBC @ @ @ @ @ in 2018 .
“ There ’ s no point in having high environmental and high @ @ @ @ @ then allow them to be undercut from outside.
” Well , this is awkward .
@ @ @ @ @ argue with these takedowns .
However , for all those saying Gove was caught out @ @ @ @ @ , it ’ s actually worse than that .

Videos
After some to-ing and fro-ing, parliament has rejected attempts to ensure future food imports maintain current UK food and welfare standards.
Farming standards activists, Save British Farming, shared this video of Michael Gove talking on BBC’s Countryfile, back in 2018.
It hasn’t aged well.
Imports must be to our standards? Absolutely, said @michaelgove *TWICE*. He guaranteed it. Yesterday he voted against. Watch. 👇😠 pic.twitter.com/1BMLyaDjcq — Save British Farming 🇬🇧 (@BritishSave) October 13, 2020
“There’s no point in having high environmental and high animal welfare standards if you then allow them to be undercut from outside.”
Well, this is awkward.
Emily Thornberry twisted the knife.
Not just Gove, they all stood on it in their 2015 manifesto: “The economic security of our farmers depends on us upholding the highest standards of animal welfare. We will push for high animal welfare standards to be incorporated into international trade agreements.” Shameless. https://t.co/kvpGg3HiGt — Emily Thornberry (@EmilyThornberry) October 13, 2020
We can’t really argue with these takedowns.
1.
It’s almost as if everything that was promised about Brexit was a lie. https://t.co/qLxb0SUMuZ — David Schneider (@davidschneider) October 13, 2020
2.
Everything now leads inexorably towards a single, simple question: did they realise they were lying or did they not realise how little they understood?
We'll end up tossing a coin. https://t.co/3lpQLlOwPt — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) October 13, 2020
3.
It's important to remember that nothing Michael Gove says means anything. Terribly polite, speaks very gently – and he will say anything, anything at all, to further whatever his agenda is at the time. https://t.co/11cw1DiBXk — Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) October 13, 2020
4.
FAO @michaelgove this is video of one of the lies you have used to make the U.K. worse. https://t.co/3s4nuKshyp — Marcoooos! (@marcusbrig) October 13, 2020
5.
"Wear the wheatsheaf," "Stand Up For British Farmers," "Clap for Carers" "Get Brexit Done" "We're All In This Together" "Levelling Up" "Protect food standards" One Nation Conservatives. https://t.co/hGWPV0Xjgq — Gavin Esler (@gavinesler) October 13, 2020
6.
What is fun* about this government is they do things only for someone to easily dig up examples of them strongly asssuring us they would never let such a thing happen. *Fun in a hahaha I want to eat my eyeballs sort of way. https://t.co/UOscDd4bVL — Rosie Holt (@RosieisaHolt) October 13, 2020
7.
Gove is a weasel who lies for a living. If he says there won’t be a dilution of standards, there will be. https://t.co/DxDP0Zvbhu — Ian collins (@Iancoll94354676) October 13, 2020
However, for all those saying Gove was caught out in hypocrisy or a lie, it’s actually worse than that.
Michael Gove 2018: "imports will have to match our own welfare and environmental standards"
He wasn't lying. He just forgot to mention that we will achieve this match by lowering our own standards. #AgricultureBill #BrexitReality pic.twitter.com/fWpEVHdfOF — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 13, 2020
When I guaranteed that imports would be to our current standards, twice, I meant it, because the standards of our current government are shit. https://t.co/9RhYSwPbHe — Michael Govern Ready (@mikegove12) October 13, 2020
READ MORE
Michael Gove’s maskless Pret visit caused a government u-turn – 11 funniest reactions
Source Countryfile Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-14--Absolute hero of the week

Absolute hero of the week

We ’ re grateful to the great @ jamieeast for sharing this extraordinary tale over on Twitter .
It went @ @ @ @ @ have a read for yourself .
“ Hero , ” said @ jamieeast .
Absolute @ @ @ @ @ all .
This sheep discovered how to use a trampoline and it ’ s just @ @ @ @

Weird World
We’re grateful to the great @jamieeast for sharing this extraordinary tale over on Twitter.
It went viral because, well, have a read for yourself. “Hero,” said @jamieeast.
Absolute hero and inspiration to us all.
I might go blind about 10ish just to avoid a zoom meeting. https://t.co/7A44DJypBC — Paul (@bingowings14) October 14, 2020
Solid plan. Might just take off my glasses instead. https://t.co/9DVng9mdJU — Sue Burnett (@suzyburn) October 14, 2020
The billions of times I’ve seen ‘small talk’ approaching and wanting a way out … https://t.co/nqXpD0BD4B — David Maguire(DPhil) (@Dee0871) October 14, 2020
My utmost respect and admiration ma'am https://t.co/WXyVaGxklX — Saahil D (@BhagArjunBhag) October 14, 2020
READ MORE
This sheep discovered how to use a trampoline and it’s just what we needed today
Source @jamieeast


thepoke--2020-10-14--Michael Spicer’s take on retraining for cyber may be the funniest yet

There have been more reactions than we can keep up with to the government ’ s ill-thought-out call for people @ @ @ @ @ sector , using an image of a ballerina named Fatima .
However , this one @ @ @ @ @ the likely level of understanding from the government of their own ad .
After all @ @ @ @ @ more of a clue about recruitment campaigns than they appear to have about coronavirus or @ @ @ @ @ few reactions we liked .
If you are , however , thinking of taking up @ @ @ @ @ the place to go for advice .
It could be fun .
Michael Spicer ’ @ @ @ @ @ with a conspiracy theorist ” is going to be very useful

Videos
There have been more reactions than we can keep up with to the government’s ill-thought-out call for people to retrain in the cyber sector, using an image of a ballerina named Fatima.
However, this one from Michael Spicer truly conveys the likely level of understanding from the government of their own ad.
retrain for cyber pic.twitter.com/fUa9GCLcCs — Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) October 12, 2020
After all, why would they have more of a clue about recruitment campaigns than they appear to have about coronavirus or Brexit?
Here are a few reactions we liked.
I sometimes wonder if I should do more cyber. https://t.co/UoBBp8OI0P — Dylan Reeve (@DylanReeve) October 13, 2020
I would love to be a Cyber…. wait….. AM I A CYBER ALREADY?? https://t.co/KptAJyD2I7 — Colin Smith (@DebugEdu) October 12, 2020
If you are, however, thinking of taking up cybering – here’s the place to go for advice.
Hi! I was once just a Gibbons. Then I became Cybergibbons! Ask me anything. https://t.co/4rWjv46cRE — Cybergibbons (@cybergibbons) October 12, 2020
It could be fun.
via Gfycat
READ MORE
Michael Spicer’s “How to argue with a conspiracy theorist” is going to be very useful
Source Michael Spicer Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-14--Dominic Cummings’ council tax bill has been written off and people are furious – the only 5 reaction

Dominic Cummings’ council tax bill has been written off and people are furious – the only 5 reactions you need

Benjamin Franklin famously said “ Nothing can be said to be certain , except death and taxes.
“ , but @ @ @ @ @ seems that should just be ‘ death ’ , and he may yet find a @ @ @ @ @ taxes in question relate to two buildings on the sprawling property owned by the Cummings @ @ @ @ @ where the SpAd fled with his family after they developed coronavirus during lockdown .
According @ @ @ @ @ the properties were built without planning permission and against local regulations , but the family @ @ @ @ @ for the breach nor have to pay backdated council tax , an estimated £30,000 to @ @ @ @ @ imagine , the news hasn ’ t gone down well .
These five tweets say @ @ @ @ @ t worry , though – it ’ s all perfectly above board .

Twitter
Benjamin Franklin famously said “Nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.“, but for Dominic Cummings, it seems that should just be ‘death’, and he may yet find a way around that.
The taxes in question relate to two buildings on the sprawling property owned by the Cummings family in Durham, to where the SpAd fled with his family after they developed coronavirus during lockdown.
All in it together pic.twitter.com/ZpubTB2yqH — James Doleman (@jamesdoleman) October 13, 2020
According to the New European, the properties were built without planning permission and against local regulations, but the family will neither receive a penalty for the breach nor have to pay backdated council tax, an estimated £30,000 to £50,000.
So Dominic Cummings has his council tax bill written off. Tell me of any other person in the U.K. who isn’t part of the government who would ever get their council tax written off!?!?!?! It doesn’t happen. — Zoë (@zosteb) October 13, 2020
As you can imagine, the news hasn’t gone down well. These five tweets say it all.
1.
In today’s episode of One Rule For Us, One Rule For Them: pic.twitter.com/QHRK4feMmj — David Schneider (@davidschneider) October 14, 2020
2.
What a country pic.twitter.com/MJjqI4H4Mp — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 13, 2020
3.
Deferred immunity pic.twitter.com/yw7ZVMi1IJ — Michael Govern Ready (@mikegove12) October 13, 2020
4.
It's OK, Dominic Cummings assures me that council tax doesn't apply to properties that you build without planning permission and only use illegally during a lockdown.#oneruleforthem pic.twitter.com/gdrGxM2DBH — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 13, 2020
5.
I'm thinking of changing my name by deed poll to 'Dominic Cummings' so I can get my council tax 'written off'. Let's all do it. — simon maginn (@simonmaginn) October 13, 2020
Don’t worry, though – it’s all perfectly above board.
BREAKING NEWS: “Senior government source” says “It’s absolutely right that Dominic Cummings doesn’t pay any council tax, he’s so handsome that he’s entitled to a handsome exemption bonus” Absolutely no clue on who the hell this source might be yet. More when we have it. — Jim Cognito (@JimCognito2016) October 13, 2020
READ MORE
‘Dominic Cummings has radicalised the Daily Star’
Source New European Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-14--This anthem for people who have forgotten ‘How to Socialise’ is a relatable banger

As Keir Starmer puts pressure on the government for a circuit-breaker , let ’ s not forget that some people @ @ @ @ @ last lockdown , and others barely venture out , working from home and ordering groceries @ @ @ @ @ Henderson , who goes by the name of Jazz Emu has written and performed this @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s like once you have to socially interact again .
We ’ re @ @ @ @ @ you , Jazz Emu .
One person had an actual anecdote of failure to socialise @ @ @ @ @ not everybody needed a pandemic for this level of awkwardness .
“ Why the Hell @ @ @ @ @ ?
” is the most relatable song you ’ ll hear today

Videos
As Keir Starmer puts pressure on the government for a circuit-breaker, let’s not forget that some people haven’t left the last lockdown, and others barely venture out, working from home and ordering groceries.
The very talented Archie Henderson, who goes by the name of Jazz Emu has written and performed this future classic, explaining what it’s like once you have to socially interact again.
“That’s not even a sentence.”
We’re cringing with you not at you, Jazz Emu.
Twitter related hard.
I feel this in my gut. https://t.co/dICbG0KLoc — Femi (@Femi_Sorry) October 14, 2020
One person had an actual anecdote of failure to socialise correctly.
The first time I bought brekkie from mcdonalds in 4 months I forgot there were different types of coffee. Me and the employee both stood there awkward and confused in a stalemate, for what felt like minutes, after I asked for "a normal coffee". — redesign your logo (@Captain_Otter) October 13, 2020
Of course – not everybody needed a pandemic for this level of awkwardness.
To be fair I was already bordering on this pre-lockdown 🤣 (h/t @terrycafolla ) https://t.co/TOtJn3dZcs — Vittoria Cafolla (@VittoriaCafolla) October 12, 2020
READ MORE
“Why the Hell Did Lockdown Have to End?” is the most relatable song you’ll hear today
Source Jazz Emu Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-14--Keir Starmer wants a ‘circuit-breaker’ lockdown – 11 strong reactions

Just a day after Chris Whitty revealed the minutes of a SAGE meeting showing that the Science Advisory Group for @ @ @ @ @ to implement a short ‘ circuit-break ’ lockdown , Keir Starmer asked them to do @ @ @ @ @ watch the short speech here , if you feel inclined , but this is how @ @ @ @ @ The BBC ’ s Laura Kuenssberg shared the words of an unnamed “ government source @ @ @ @ @ among others , wasn ’ t impressed by that .
Boris Johnson ‘ s nickname @ @ @ @ @ Captain Hindsight ’ trended on Twitter , as the Labour leader was criticised for the @ @ @ @ @ a different rank to award .
Here ’ s how much of Twitter responded to @ @ @

News
Just a day after Chris Whitty revealed the minutes of a SAGE meeting showing that the Science Advisory Group for Emergencies had asked the government to implement a short ‘circuit-break’ lockdown, Keir Starmer asked them to do the same.
You can watch the short speech here, if you feel inclined, but this is how he tweeted about it.
We are at a decisive moment in the fight against the coronavirus. That’s why I'm calling for a circuit break in England – to protect the NHS, fix testing and get control of the virus. — Keir Starmer (@Keir_Starmer) October 13, 2020
The BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg shared the words of an unnamed “government source”.
“Keir Starmer is a shameless opportunist playing political games in the middle of a global pandemic.“
Matt Chorley, among others, wasn’t impressed by that.
Senior government source responds to Starmer:
'Keir Starmer is a shameless opportunist." Senior source close to the pot: "The kettle is black" — Matt Chorley (@MattChorley) October 13, 2020
Boris Johnson‘s nickname for Keir Starmer, ‘Captain Hindsight’ trended on Twitter, as the Labour leader was criticised for the stance, but many had a different rank to award.
If Keir Starmer is "Captain Hindsight".
This must be "Major Oversight". pic.twitter.com/7JU6vOkN6K — Harry Bush (@bushmeister22) October 13, 2020
Here’s how much of Twitter responded to the development.
1.
People accusing @Keir_Starmer of 'playing politics' with his call for a circuit break lockdown don't seem to understand that he's the one endorsing the SAGE advice and it's Boris 'I follow the science' Johnson who's playing politics & ignoring it. — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) October 13, 2020
2.
I do know my measures are not enough.
I do know a circuit breaker is needed.
But now that Keir Starmer has called for one, that is the one thing I will never ever do.#circuitbreaker pic.twitter.com/eovy6xPiLy — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 13, 2020
3.
If Starmer is to be called Captain Hindsight, Johnson must be Major Cockup surely?#BorisHasFailedTheNation #LiarJohnson — Nat Sommers 🔶🇬🇧🇪🇺 ‘Do-Gooder’ (@Weeblebum) October 13, 2020
4.
The Leader of the Opposition thinks the government should follow the advice of the government's scientific advisers. The government disagrees.
(It's worth reading that twice.) — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) October 13, 2020
5.
One thing we learned from the first wave of #COVID19 was that a proper lockdown will quickly reduce the infection rate, hospitalisations and deaths.
So we won't be doing that again.#circuitbreaker — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 13, 2020
6.


thepoke--2020-10-13--This musical guide to how this library works in the pandemic is magnificent (and catchy as hell)

This university library made a video guide to how libraries work .
But Duke University in North Carolina didn ’ t just make any video , they made this video .
‘ A librarian at my university just released a song to explain the new Library Takeout system , and it goes way harder than it has any right to , ’ said HardBoiled800 who shared it over on Reddit .
‘ Went looking for the bibliotheca , ended up at the discotheque.
’ Ritehandwingman ‘ When your night-time DJ gig fades into your day job….this is amazing.
’ t-muns @ @ @ @ @ @ @ : Why on earth am I subscribed to DukeUnivLibraries ’ YT channel ?
’ jamkey ‘ Hell yeah !
It ’ s on Spotify , just search up “ Library Takeout ” !
’ IReallyCannotDraw And it really is .
We can ’ t stop watching it .
Informative , entertaining , and catchy as hell .
Just when you think it can ’ t get any better , it does .
This thread about working in a library went viral because it ’ s funny , passionate , angry and utterly lovely

Videos
This university library made a video guide to how libraries work. But Duke University in North Carolina didn’t just make any video, they made this video.
And it’s simply magnificent.
‘A librarian at my university just released a song to explain the new Library Takeout system, and it goes way harder than it has any right to,’ said HardBoiled800 who shared it over on Reddit.
‘Went looking for the bibliotheca, ended up at the discotheque.’ Ritehandwingman ‘When your night-time DJ gig fades into your day job….this is amazing.’ t-muns ‘Me in a year from now: Why on earth am I subscribed to DukeUnivLibraries’ YT channel?’ jamkey ‘Me, randomly, for rest of 2020: “Li-brary take-out!” viveleroi ‘Hell yeah! It’s on Spotify, just search up “Library Takeout”!’ IReallyCannotDraw
And it really is.
We can’t stop watching it. Informative, entertaining, and catchy as hell. Just when you think it can’t get any better, it does.
READ MORE
This thread about working in a library went viral because it’s funny, passionate, angry and utterly lovely
Source YouTube DukeUnivLibraries H/T Reddit u/HardBoiled800


thepoke--2020-10-14--This ‘Dear Dolly’ response to a woman in lockdown went viral because people loved it so much

To the Sunday Times ’ Style magazine , where Dolly Alderton answers readers ’ dilemmas about ‘ love , life @ @ @ @ @ this particular answer went wildly viral on Twitter because it ’ s such good advice @ @ @ @ @ You ’ ll have to zoom in to appreciate it but it really is worth @ @ @ @ @ The best answer I ’ ve ever read , ’ said author @ sheilaoflanagan who @ @ @ @ @ And just a few of the many things people said about it .
And you @ @ @ @ @ Twitter here .
Tom Hollander ’ s brilliant ‘ A Life in the Day ’ @ @ @ @ @ ever

Popular
To the Sunday Times’ Style magazine, where Dolly Alderton answers readers’ dilemmas about ‘love, life and friendship’.
And this particular answer went wildly viral on Twitter because it’s such good advice and so well written. You’ll have to zoom in to appreciate it but it really is worth reading in full.
‘The best answer I’ve ever read,’ said author @sheilaoflanagan who posted it on Twitter.
And just a few of the many things people said about it.
“Imagine you are your own child and care for yourself accordingly.” What a lovely piece of advice! — Susan Tomes (@susantomespiano) October 13, 2020
I couldn’t agree with you more …. kindness is everything and most importantly to ourselves ❤ — rachel leamy (@rachelleamy) October 13, 2020
This is absolutely beautifully written & heartbreakingly wise. I had ED including bulimia for years, the only way I got over it was by not punishing myself for enjoying food & giving my brain quiet so I could listen to what it wanted me to eat. Your message should be taught x — the moog (@glowypanda) October 13, 2020
As someone who has put on more than my fair share of weight in the last few months, this made me tear up a bit. Thank you @dollyalderton 💓💓 — Emma (Hanson) White (@emmahansonwhite) October 13, 2020
I could not agree more. I want a laminated copy of this on every fridge in the UK. — Sarah 👻Aged 49.11🎃 (@ladybdashwood) October 13, 2020
This is actually the most incredible thing I think I’ve read. What compassion and empathy. And so true it made me go… Yeah!!! — Beth Spivey (@6392Beth) October 13, 2020
And you can follow @dollyalderton on Twitter here.
READ MORE
Tom Hollander’s brilliant ‘A Life in the Day’ might be the best one ever
Source Twitter @sheilaoflanagan


Meme of the day

Of all Andrew Cotter 's brilliant Olive and Mabel videos , this is our very favourite

Pics
‘Quotes of great men,’ says Smellydude00 over on Reddit.
Except …
‘He’s not a pilot anyway his job is to use the radar lol.’ JohnPatton515
READ MORE
Meme of the day (not this one, another one)
Source Reddit u/Smellydude00


thepoke--2020-10-15--Of all Andrew Cotter’s brilliant Olive and Mabel videos, this is our very favourite

Sports commentator Andrew Cotter ’ s brilliant videos featuring his beloved dogs Olive and Mabel have proved welcome respite from @ @ @ @ @ been going on .
They ’ ve been so successful they ’ ve got a @ @ @ @ @ And we were grateful to @ ladyhaja over on Twitter for reminding us of this @ @ @ @ @ special .
If you ’ ve not seen it already , you ’ re in @ @ @ @ @ if you have , well , it ’ s definitely worth watching more than once @ @ @ @ @ @ MrAndrewCotter on Twitter here .
Andrew Cotter trying to do DIY with his dogs @ @ @ @

Videos
Sports commentator Andrew Cotter’s brilliant videos featuring his beloved dogs Olive and Mabel have proved welcome respite from everything else that’s been going on.
They’ve been so successful they’ve got a book out and everything. And we were grateful to @ladyhaja over on Twitter for reminding us of this particular one which is extra special.
If you’ve not seen it already, you’re in for a treat. And if you have, well, it’s definitely worth watching more than once.
Some sports are slower. More about the strategy. pic.twitter.com/JMBaGJ1tSd — Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) April 9, 2020
Brilliant.
Of all the great Olive and Mabel content, this one – early on in lockdown – remains my favourite. "But her mind will be… empty" is such a wonderful line https://t.co/1NFaRziVjo — Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) October 14, 2020
the final comment cost you the retweet but this is still the highest tier of content i’ve ever seen — WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) April 9, 2020
Understandable. Although she got a biscuit shortly after to make amends. — Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) April 9, 2020
The saddest image in sporting history. pic.twitter.com/Rwa8xMRvMh — Jon Mulkeen (@Statman_Jon) April 9, 2020
And you can follow @MrAndrewCotter on Twitter here.
READ MORE
Andrew Cotter trying to do DIY with his dogs is a lovely watch
Source Twitter @MrAndrewCotter


thepoke--2020-10-15--This guy can’t take his girlfriend’s obsession with Adam Driver and it’s quite the read

To the subReddit ‘ Am I The Asshole ?
’ where people explain their real-life dilemmas and ask exactly that @ @ @ @ @ asshole or not ?
And this one particularly caught our eye , a guy ’ @ @ @ @ @ has become increasingly obsessed with actor Adam Driver .
And it ’ s quite the @ @ @ @ @ appeared to be NTA , or Not The Assole .
Adam , if you ’ @ @ @ @ @ us a line will you and let everyone know what you think he should do @ @ @ @ @ with Adam Driver and now everyone ’ s confused

Weird World
To the subReddit ‘Am I The Asshole?’ where people explain their real-life dilemmas and ask exactly that. Are they being an asshole or not?
And this one in particular caught our eye, a guy’s whose girlfriend has become increasingly obsessed with actor Adam Driver. And it’s quite the read.
The overwhelming verdict appeared to be NTA, or Not The Assole.
If this was a horror movie I’d watch it. Like paranormal activity but the Adam Driver cut out gets closer and closer every night — ✨ Ulli ✨ (@ullistudy) October 14, 2020
I legit wanna go back to bed because reading this made me tired. — Ghosty Angel (@angelt18) October 14, 2020
Buddy, her liking Adam Driver isn't the only problem here 💀 — Nox Dawn 🐸 (@NoxDawn) October 14, 2020
Holy unhealthy obsession Batman. This is a mess, and I need more coffee. NTA — i should probably be reading. you should vote. (@browniesO_O) October 14, 2020
Adam, if you’re reading this, drop us a line will you and let everyone know what you think he should do.
READ MORE
Someone faceswapped Keanu Reeves with Adam Driver and now everyone’s confused
Source @AITA_reddit


thepoke--2020-10-15--This Liverpool MP’s takedown of Boris Johnson is simply blistering

Liverpool MP Dan Carden went viral with this devastating takedown of Boris Johnson and his government ’ s track record @ @ @ @ @ you ’ ll already know , is under tier 3 lockdown and Carden is the @ @ @ @ @ .
Here ’ s what he had to say .
And if you prefer it @ @ @ @ @ Boris Johnson/Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick mash-up is so cleverly done

Videos
Liverpool MP Dan Carden went viral with this devastating takedown of Boris Johnson and his government’s track record tackling Covid (and beyond).
Liverpool, you’ll already know, is under tier 3 lockdown and Carden is the Labour MP for Liverpool Walton.
Here’s what he had to say.
The whole thing stinks. This Government’s incompetence, its cronyism, its ideological obsession with outsourcing and rip-off privatisation has undermined our NHS and put lives at risk. Time to kick the profiteers out of the system and put local public health teams in charge. pic.twitter.com/ivqRy4WgOe — Dan Carden MP (@DanCardenMP) October 14, 2020
Blistering.
Every single word of this from Dan Carden. Every single word. pic.twitter.com/mtpnKfN4Jg — Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) October 14, 2020
This is only 2mins 20 secs. Listen to it and take it all in. https://t.co/XQFpccECVV — Dominic King (@DominicKing_DM) October 14, 2020
And if you prefer it particularly straight-talking …
12 billion of our money given to useless sham cunts in the ‘private sector’. This boy nails it. pic.twitter.com/rWbfS8tuIK — Irvine Welsh (@IrvineWelsh) October 15, 2020
READ MORE
Cassetteboy’s Boris Johnson/Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick mash-up is so cleverly done
Source @DanCardenMP H/T @ladyhaja


thepoke--2020-10-15--Tiers, long Covid and circuit-breakers are on the minds of these funny tweeters – 12 lockdown laughs

The government ’ s three-tier system is causing mayhem , as London goes up a level , making household mixing @ @ @ @ @ threatens legal action to stop it going into the top tier .
Over on Twitter @ @ @ @ @ on people ’ s minds , along with long Covid , a potential ‘ circuit-breaker @ @ @ @ @ Well , one snarky columnist .
And a hat tip to @ mikegove12 for this @ @ @ @ @ it is a pundemic .
Tiers , masks and conspiracy theories – 12 funny takes @ @ @

Twitter
The government’s three-tier system is causing mayhem, as London goes up a level, making household mixing indoors illegal, and Manchester threatens legal action to stop it going into the top tier.
Spoiler alert – it won’t work.
Over on Twitter the tiers are very much on people’s minds, along with long Covid, a potential ‘circuit-breaker’ and snarky columnists. Well, one snarky columnist.
1.
New Covid19 restrictions: Medium low high tier:
You can throw a satsuma at a cow.
You can sit in a dodgem car with an architect Small large tier:
It is illegal to go to a birthday party with Werner Herzog Tall spatula tier:
A household of 6 can take a bag of cement to a canal — joe heenan (@joeheenan) October 13, 2020
2.
Has anyone downloaded the app? Order 6 pints & 3 bowls of swan nuggets. pic.twitter.com/y20hFBHp6L — Paul (@bingowings14) October 14, 2020
3.
Look, it's simple: You just need to work out which of the three tiers you and each member of your bubble fit into, then divide the total by the first number in your post code, and then retrain for a job in cyber at your local Wetherspoons or Pret. — Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) October 12, 2020
4.
In keeping with the playground games theme, I propose we rename Tier 3 "Shadow Realms of the Northlands". — Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) October 14, 2020
5.
Remember when Dyson, Rolls Royce and Burberry were going to save us all from Coronavirus? Or did I accidentally ingest acid and dream that? — Otto English (@Otto_English) October 14, 2020
6.
On the advice of Allison Pearson, I will be closing down all hospitals and dismantling the NHS, because healthcare only postpones death.#Lockdown2 pic.twitter.com/4Q27XL1fZL — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 14, 2020
7.
can we get a circuit-breaker for this Government — dave ❄ (@davemacladd) October 14, 2020
8.
The Irish government creating a level within a level in a bid to defeat COVID by inception. — Michael Fry-ght (@BigDirtyFry) October 14, 2020
9.
[at work] Boss: "You called in sick yesterday and said you had the Coronavirus. You can't be here until you get tested"
Me: "I said I had a case of Corona and I wasn't coming in to work. I never said anything about a virus" — (@Sundae_Gurl) October 14, 2020
10.
BREAKING: As Keir Starmer says UK needs a circuit breaker in place over Halloween, horror fans assume he’s following the séance. — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) October 14, 2020
11.
Looks like I’ve had Long-COVID since 2010. — Dexter AlmightyOBE (@Dexter_Alrighty) October 15, 2020
12.
Last year my friend gave me a rose quartz to help me with a big job and I didn’t believe it was real and I lost the crystal and anyway sorry about the pandemic — Zoë Tomalin (@ZoeTomalin) October 14, 2020
And a hat tip to @mikegove12 for this subtle pun.
We solder on. https://t.co/CGYRNcj2fb — Michael Govern Ready (@mikegove12) October 14, 2020
Well, it is a pundemic.
READ MORE
Tiers, masks and conspiracy theories – 12 funny takes on the pandemic
Image @bingowings14


thepoke--2020-10-15--Cassetteboy’s Boris Johnson/Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick mash-up is so cleverly done

The brilliant Cassetteboy ’ s latest project is Boris Johnson singing along – kind of – to Ian Dury and @ @ @ @ @ With Your Rhythm Stick .
And it ’ s two minutes very well spent .
@ @ @ @ @ back to this , from December last year .
And this , from Johnson ’ @ @ @ @ @ Whatever happened to that ?
You can find @ Cassetteboy on Twitter here and @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Doctor Who : The Bum Invasion

Videos
The brilliant Cassetteboy’s latest project is Boris Johnson singing along – kind of – to Ian Dury and the Blockheads’ Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick.
And it’s two minutes very well spent.
New! We've made a video for our friends @PrivacyInt for their Free to be Human campaign – Cassetteboy vs Boris Vs Covid pic.twitter.com/GKyB5sMx7U — Cassetteboy (@Cassetteboy) October 15, 2020
Took us all the way back to this, from December last year.
New! Cassetteboy vs Boris Johnson pic.twitter.com/b7QKvGJBwn — Cassetteboy (@Cassetteboy) December 5, 2019
And this, from Johnson’s Tory leadership bid. Whatever happened to that?
You can find @Cassetteboy on Twitter here and @privacyint here.
READ MORE
Cassetteboy Vs. Doctor Who: The Bum Invasion
Source @Cassetteboy


thepoke--2020-10-15--Ivanka Trump got her sister’s Twitter name wrong – on her birthday

As sisters so often do these days , when her younger sibling , Tiffany , turned 27 on Tuesday , @ @ @ @ @ message via Twitter .
Some people commented on the choice of a picture in which @ @ @ @ @ , and the fact that the birthday wishes were sent via social media – though @ @ @ @ @ more private messages .
But what wasn ’ t immediately obvious was that Ivanka tagged @ @ @ @ @ real Tiffany Trump uses her middle initial in her Twitter name .
However , Tiffany @ @ @ @ @ s message , so she ’ s probably not in the bad books – as @ @ @ @ @ decent .
The tweet got thousands of interactions and we ’ d have felt sorry @ @ @ @ @ , but if you name your twitter account after a Trump , you get what @ @ @ @ @ Trump posed with a tin of Goya beans and the takedowns were brutal

Pics
As sisters so often do these days, when her younger sibling, Tiffany, turned 27 on Tuesday, Ivanka Trump sent her a message via Twitter.
Some people commented on the choice of a picture in which little Tiffany was clearly unhappy, and the fact that the birthday wishes were sent via social media – though they may well have exchanged more private messages.
if a "friend" posts a photo like this on your birthday, you know she hates you https://t.co/gZ8KJDzmvt — antifapasto 🌹 (@ambercrollo) October 13, 2020
Ahhh this is EXACTLY how me and MY sister talk to each other! #awww #samesamesame https://t.co/DXXYeEBU4f — kim caramele (@kimcaramele) October 14, 2020
How about this. Instead of saying it on Twitter and tagging an unused account, you, I don’t know, call her and tell her? Or did you forget her phone number? — Fed Up (@fedupspeakout) October 13, 2020
But what wasn’t immediately obvious was that Ivanka tagged the wrong person. The real Tiffany Trump uses her middle initial in her Twitter name.
ok quick ivanka what's her middle name and you can't google it https://t.co/4JoKJWXyuU — Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) October 14, 2020
😂😂😂😂😂😂 She doesn't even know her half sister's handle @TiffanyATrump here ya go 😄😄😈😈 one can tell all is not well. https://t.co/FtnZ7xOpnO pic.twitter.com/MzEMBB9ElR — BlueWorld 😎 I Paid $750 in Tax 💸 (@BlueR00n) October 13, 2020
When your big sister wishes you a HBD on Twitter but she's so fake and dislikes you so much that she can't even be bothered to get your correct Twitter handle 🤣🤣 #fakenews #fakewishes #totalfail #VoteHimOut2020 https://t.co/qxnN1qGMSp — Shelly (@ShellyOrtega) October 13, 2020
OMFG that's not even your sister's twitter 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 https://t.co/mMS5J9oFA0 — tête-à-tweets (@ShowUsYrTweets) October 14, 2020
However, Tiffany retweeted her big sister’s message, so she’s probably not in the bad books – as long as the present was decent.
The tweet got thousands of interactions and we’d have felt sorry for the real account holder, but if you name your twitter account after a Trump, you get what you asked for.
READ MORE
Ivanka Trump posed with a tin of Goya beans and the takedowns were brutal
Source Indy100 Image Ivanka Trump, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-15--This flat for rent has only got half a bath and people aren’t taking it lying down

This flat for rent in Liverpool went viral on Twitter because it ’ s got a very unusual looking bath @ @ @ @ @ unusual , we mean half .
It ’ s only got half a bath .
@ @ @ @ @ got literally half a fuckin bath , said @ _altx over on Twitter .
It @ @ @ @ @ a bath , although lots of people suggested it might just be a bidet .
@ @ @ @ @ So @ _altx did a bit of extra digging , just to make sure .
@ @ @ @ @ of the things people were saying about it on Twitter .
This was also an @ @ @ @ @ person helpfully had the answer .
People are sharing the worst bathrooms they ’ ve @ @ @ @ @ are truly terrible

Weird World
This flat for rent in Liverpool went viral on Twitter because it’s got a very unusual looking bath.
And when we say unusual, we mean half. It’s only got half a bath.
‘Why has this flat got literally half a fuckin bath , said @_altx over on Twitter.
It does indeed to be half a bath, although lots of people suggested it might just be a bidet. A very big bidet.
So @_altx did a bit of extra digging, just to make sure.
Three-quarters? Well, maybe.
Here are just a few of the things people were saying about it on Twitter.
Screaming imagine sat with ye legs crossed in the bath — faye ☻ (@fayeboland15) October 13, 2020
Could be a really big sink? — Luke Maggs (@Lukemaggs16) October 13, 2020
I’m so confused. Why not either not have a bath or have a bath with a shower above it and a shower curtain — * (@BrendanBlobfish) October 14, 2020
my 5’9 self tryna get a bath in tha pic.twitter.com/b8nU8omxvl — (@gracieq_x) October 13, 2020
This was also an important point.
And this person helpfully had the answer.
Because a full size one doesn’t fit — vikka sakalauskaite (@vikkax) October 13, 2020
It’s being put up for rent by Open Rent (who you can find here).
READ MORE
People are sharing the worst bathrooms they’ve ever seen and these 17 are truly terrible
Source @_altx


thepoke--2020-10-15--The unexpected plot twist at this bride’s bouquet toss is just brilliant

Suggest an unexpected plot twist at a bride ’ s bouquet toss and you ’ re probably fearing the worst @ @ @ @ @ well this is just lovely .
Not everyone appreciated it … This ‘ Dear Dolly @ @ @ @ @ in lockdown went viral because people loved it so much

Videos
Suggest an unexpected plot twist at a bride’s bouquet toss and you’re probably fearing the worst.
This, though, well this is just lovely. Look closely before you hit play and you might be able to guess what’s going to happen …
Plot twist. This is the Twitter content I’m here for… pic.twitter.com/LIb336rUwR — Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) October 14, 2020
Congratulations all round. Brilliantly done.
You did it to me again. I'm done. Nothing else to post or see today. I'm going to hug my kids, write my book and have a wonderful day. — Mike Wise (@MikeWiseguy) October 14, 2020
How incredibly generous of the married couple to do something like that. There is love all around, you can feel it even though you’re only watching from afar. — HLHFanAccount | # (@HLHOnceUponAFan) October 14, 2020
Not everyone appreciated it …
Isnt it kind of weird to propose at your friends wedding… — totally sane, mustached man (@duhslut) October 14, 2020
not in favor of hijacking someone else's big day — Ryan Walters (@RyanWalt525) October 14, 2020
But …
Obviously, it was part of the plan, not a hijacking. — Anita (@resistasistah) October 14, 2020
Exactly!
How sweet of this selfless bride to share her special day with her friend. Such a generous soul. — Rosie S (@RosieS_AZ) October 14, 2020
No one upstaged the bride here!! She obviously chose to make this part of her day. This shows deep love for her bridesmaid! I love it — Orygun Mama (@LHabberstad) October 14, 2020
I love this. Some of the participants were in on the plan, and the bridesmaid looks surprised. I bet she is the bride's sister or best friend, or maybe the young man is the bride's brother – ? and this was a gesture of love and sharing within a close-knit group. — Dem Seattle (@DemSeattle) October 14, 2020
Why are people acting like this was an upstage?? The bride was CLEARLY in on it. If she didn't have a problem with it why do you? We don't know who these people are to each other, but it is clear they are close knit, and all were involved in this surprise. Geez. I say BRAVO! — DawnMarie (@RN4LDMarie) October 14, 2020
Far from detracting from the bride's special day, this only made it more memorable. — David Jensen, ex-GOP (@Seattle_Dave) October 14, 2020
READ MORE
This ‘Dear Dolly’ response to a woman in lockdown went viral because people loved it so much
Source Twitter @_BlackCouples @RexChapman


thepoke--2020-10-15--Whoever did today’s Daily Star front page, take the rest of the week off

The Daily Star ’ s had a run of memorable front pages of late and today they ’ ve knocked it out of the park again .
You ’ ve probably seen how Boris Johnson ’ s special friend Dominic Cummings has had his council tax bill written off .
This is what the Star had to say about it today .
Just in case that ’ s tricky to read .
“ Taxes are for peasants , right ?
Dom Cummings certainly thinks so and has been let off a £50,000 bill .
So if YOU don ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ binmen , libraries and helping vulnerable kids , just pop on our tried and tested mask and , hey presto , your local authority will let you off .
Probably.
” Not the first time they ’ ve featured the Dominic Cummings cut out and keep mask , of course .
Here are just a few of the things people have been saying about it after it went viral on Twitter today .
And here ’ s a rather fabulous round-up of some of those recent front pages , set to music by @ @ @ @ @ @ @ tax bill has been written off and people are furious – the only 5 reactions you need

Pics
The Daily Star’s had a run of memorable front pages of late and today they’ve knocked it out of the park again.
You’ve probably seen how Boris Johnson’s special friend Dominic Cummings has had his council tax bill written off. This is what the Star had to say about it today.
Just in case that’s tricky to read.
“Taxes are for peasants, right? Dom Cummings certainly thinks so and has been let off a £50,000 bill. So if YOU don’t want to contribute towards road repairs, binmen, libraries and helping vulnerable kids, just pop on our tried and tested mask and, hey presto, your local authority will let you off. Probably.”
Not the first time they’ve featured the Dominic Cummings cut out and keep mask, of course.
Here are just a few of the things people have been saying about it after it went viral on Twitter today.
can’t decide if the Star has lost its mind or is having a genius purple patch pic.twitter.com/EOu7NuBAZO — Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) October 15, 2020
The Star isn’t a paper I follow, but hats off to them for today’s front page.#ToryBritain #ToryCorruption pic.twitter.com/vtzGNMjGl4 — pjmeade (@pjmeade) October 15, 2020
And here’s a rather fabulous round-up of some of those recent front pages, set to music by @TobyonTV.
This year of Daily Star headlines deserves a soundtrack pic.twitter.com/zdYR9E9ePU — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) October 15, 2020
READ MORE
Dominic Cummings’ council tax bill has been written off and people are furious – the only 5 reactions you need
Source @PickardJE


thepoke--2020-10-15--Save the wine or save the baby? Guess which choice this woman made

If you ’ ve been searching for a clip to illustrate your TED talk on skewed priorities , then Imgur @ @ @ @ @ have saved your bacon .
If she was hoping to get out of babysitting duties @ @ @ @ @ we ’ d say that ’ s mission accomplished – particularly as the clip has @ @ @ @ @ things always do , it found its way to Twitter , where it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ views , and we really enjoyed these funny takes on the awkward fail .
It @ @ @ @ @ the latest Test and Trace fail , in which students were sent used testing kits @ @ @ @ @ lot over at Mockeree noticed its potential as a Brexit allegory .
‘ Most dramatic @ @ @ @ @ of all time ’

Videos
If you’ve been searching for a clip to illustrate your TED talk on skewed priorities, then Imgur user, YourNerveTonic may well have saved your bacon.
If she was hoping to get out of babysitting duties for the foreseeable future, we’d say that’s mission accomplished – particularly as the clip has gone viral.
As these things always do, it found its way to Twitter, where it’s had more than seven million views, and we really enjoyed these funny takes on the awkward fail.
When you've finally become an adult and have your priorities straight. pic.twitter.com/fSSIX2I6XT — The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian) October 12, 2020
When the economy crashes, but you save the stock market. pic.twitter.com/kWwJn2FE9r — Cullen Roche (@cullenroche) October 13, 2020
She said fuck the toddler, this champagne is more important https://t.co/z1LAj5kfdK — Eli Neutron🔬 (@Eli_see2020) October 12, 2020
The way I didn’t even see the problem until the 3rd time I watched pic.twitter.com/1ubdzyIVpG — Zendaya Fenty 👸🏾 (@OnThePlussize) October 12, 2020
It put Lina in mind of the latest Test and Trace fail, in which students were sent used testing kits.
Students going for their used coronavirus tests pic.twitter.com/OieYW7vplO — •• (@agirlcalledlina) October 14, 2020
Finally, that clever lot over at Mockeree noticed its potential as a Brexit allegory.
Brexit explained in two seconds pic.twitter.com/JxSi9nVpyT — Mockeree (@mockeree) October 14, 2020
READ MORE
‘Most dramatic end to a baby race of all time’
Source YourNerveTonic Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-15--Our 11 favourite takedowns of Nigel Farage’s latest venture

If you haven ’ t been careful with your internet searches , you may have seen an advert for Nigel @ @ @ @ @ , Fortune & Freedom .
It seems to be free , but if experience has @ @ @ @ @ ’ s that there ’ ll almost certainly be a cost somewhere .
To be @ @ @ @ @ former public schoolboy originally worked as a commodity broker in The City before sitting as @ @ @ @ @ railing about the terrible EU , career politicians and the elite .
Needless to say @ @ @ @ @ of it , it was too tempting an opportunity for pisstaking .
Mike Barrett predicted @ @ @ @ @ for anyone wishing to make a fortune .
Tried and tested by the man himself @ @ @ @ @ UK should never have signed the Brexit deal and everyone said the same thing

Twitter
If you haven’t been careful with your internet searches, you may have seen an advert for Nigel Farage’s latest venture, Fortune & Freedom.
It seems to be free, but if experience has taught Farage-watchers anything, it’s that there’ll almost certainly be a cost somewhere.
To be fair to Farage, the former public schoolboy originally worked as a commodity broker in The City before sitting as an MEP for decades while railing about the terrible EU, career politicians and the elite.
Needless to say, when Twitter got wind of it, it was too tempting an opportunity for pisstaking.
1.
Hi! When I'm not banging spoons in pots or shouting at the sea, I'm failing to get elected 7 times.. I'm not that fussy for those of a different hue, and I'm really keen to tank our economy. Let me look after your money? pic.twitter.com/rpy8apfnFe — 🔶Jonathan Banks🔶 Parliamentary spokes RNP (@Jonathan_MBanks) October 14, 2020
2.
Old?
Disposable assets?
Gullible?
Dislike (((globalist bankers)))? Then do we have the investment advice service for YOU pic.twitter.com/vmf30VRSbr — . (@twlldun) October 14, 2020
3.
'Fortune & Freedom' has a sort of 'Blood & Soil' feel to it, doesn't it? pic.twitter.com/Jef9esz15a — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) October 14, 2020
4.
The grifting will never end.#Farage https://t.co/Fqxx4iCb6v — I Am Incorrigible FCA (@ImIncorrigible) October 14, 2020
5.
Dunno about you, but I don’t trust any financial advice unless it comes from a seedy-looking racist in a pinstripe suit. pic.twitter.com/zq956sQN4K — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) October 14, 2020
6.
Hi I’m Nigel Farage, you may remember me from that time I fucked the UK’s economy by at least 66 Billion pounds so far or when I spent millions of pounds to gain 0 MPs. Please let me handle your money. pic.twitter.com/CocNibcjcn — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 14, 2020
7.
He’d be selling ‘red tape’ if there was a quid in it. https://t.co/ULQwEWCNf4 — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) October 14, 2020
8.
A lot of people are going to lose a lot of money pic.twitter.com/c5YpO3fgHv — Jamie (@Jamie_D_T) October 14, 2020
9.
To be honest, I'd rather leave children with Gary Glitter than trust Farage with any hard earned cash pic.twitter.com/We4cEzO6pc — Den Of Scholes😷 (@den_jw) October 14, 2020
10.
One step away from the Farage pension plan/holiday insurance combo. I hope to feck that there's a free pen with every order. https://t.co/pTQBjUcagh — Dave Law (@the_middle_bit) October 14, 2020
11.
Good God. First this man commits fraud on the British people by lying about Brexit. Now he's trying to con people out of their savings. He's a professional spiv. pic.twitter.com/dk8v3Edhlc — Chris Shaw (@The_ChrisShaw) October 9, 2020
Mike Barrett predicted the advice Farage might give for anyone wishing to make a fortune.
How to secure your "fortune and freedom" 1: Get a job that pays a £73k pa pension
2: Successfully campaign to lose your job
3: When you do, keep the pension. pic.twitter.com/iff4y6Q68r — Mike Barrett (@langcatmike) October 9, 2020
Tried and tested by the man himself.
READ MORE
Nigel Farage said the UK should never have signed the Brexit deal and everyone said the same thing
Source Fortune and Freedom Image Fortune and Freedom


thepoke--2020-10-15--There’s a lot at stake for this Whitby church’s notice about Dracula

We ’ re shaking our heads at the thought of this poster being necessary , but we ’ re still @ @ @ @ @ In case you didn ’ t know , some of the plot of Bram Stoker @ @ @ @ @ revolves around what happens after his ship washes up at Whitby , seeing the vampire @ @ @ @ @ We particularly enjoyed these reactions to Ellie Cumbo ’ s funny photo .
Someone pointed @ @ @ @ @ be missing a trick .
Nothing to see here .
Just a hedgehog dressed as @

Weird World
We’re shaking our heads at the thought of this poster being necessary, but we’re still quite glad it is.
I'm having a few days in Whitby, but am just popping in to share this, which gladdened my humourless heart. pic.twitter.com/spI3lcFYJy — Ellie Cumbo (@EllieCumbo) October 14, 2020
In case you didn’t know, some of the plot of Bram Stoker‘s ‘Dracula‘ revolves around what happens after his ship washes up at Whitby, seeing the vampire flee to the abbey.
We particularly enjoyed these reactions to Ellie Cumbo’s funny photo.
I mean, Dracula doesn't have a grave because he's the walking dead, so doesn't need one 🤷♀ — Tansy Kelly Robson (@Artemisapphire) October 14, 2020
Dracula is fiction, but of course the Bible is completely fact-based — John (@john71clarkson) October 14, 2020
You have sploit the legend of 'Dracula' for me. Thanks! — John P Lynch (@jpcookie50) October 14, 2020
Someone pointed out that the church may be missing a trick.
They'd be better off claiming that it's where his coffin of Transylvanian earth ended up – gazillions of goths paying a £ to light a candle… — ThereAndBackAgain (@ThereAndBackAg6) October 14, 2020
It beats bake sales.
READ MORE
Nothing to see here. Just a hedgehog dressed as Dracula
Source Ellie Cumbo Image Ellie Cumbo, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-15--Matt Hancock boasted that Emmanuel Macron complimented the UK’s Test and Trace – 8 sick burns

The UK Test and Trace system , so frequently described as “ world-beating ” by Boris Johnson , has come under fire for several reasons : They have been sent to test centres miles away from where they live Results have been slow to come through and sent to the wrong people Users struggled to sign in using the QR scanner in the app They were unable to add results taken in NHS establishments The app sends alerts that vanish when users try to access them Thousands of potentially infected people weren ’ t contacted because the data was processed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the Secretary of State for Health and Social Care , Matt Hancock , tweeted this .
Not everybody was convinced that a compliment from the French President outweighed the problems .
These were the best takedowns we saw .
“ ( I ) n Germany and the UK there were a lot more downloads…The cases they identified using these apps , even in Germany and the UK – very few.
” If that ’ s a compliment , we ’ d hate for him to insult it .
16,000 Covid test results got @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 15 scathing takedowns

Twitter
The UK Test and Trace system, so frequently described as “world-beating” by Boris Johnson, has come under fire for several reasons:
People have struggled to access tests They have been sent to test centres miles away from where they live Results have been slow to come through and sent to the wrong people Users struggled to sign in using the QR scanner in the app They were unable to add results taken in NHS establishments The app sends alerts that vanish when users try to access them Thousands of potentially infected people weren’t contacted because the data was processed in Excel
Yet, on Wednesday, the Secretary of State for Health and Social Care, Matt Hancock, tweeted this.
Tonight Parliament endorsed & President Macron complimented our Test & Trace Massive thanks to my team & all those working so hard to deliver huge growth in capacity – helping keep people safe — Matt Hancock (@MattHancock) October 14, 2020
Not everybody was convinced that a compliment from the French President outweighed the problems.
These were the best takedowns we saw.
1.
You ballsed it up. You’ve ballsed everything up since you first bumbled into the health dept like a sea lion walking into a hatstand. You ballsed it up yesterday, you ballsed it up today, you’ll balls it up tomorrow. Good news about the compliment though. https://t.co/OtO2yJJQXG — Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) October 14, 2020
2.
Compliments from the French: 1
Dead: 43,155 https://t.co/oIGAU4ELP6 — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 14, 2020
3.
That's amazing, a compliment, it's going to be ok! — Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) October 14, 2020
4.
Strong 'Person cornering you at a party & asking what you reckon to a poem they've written' vibes here. https://t.co/U35hNMWmDJ — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) October 14, 2020
5.
Matt, sorry to say that 'merde' isn't French for good. https://t.co/gHfOCqYkFF — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) October 14, 2020
6.
“I know lots of you can’t get tested, we’ve only traced the contacts of a tiny percentage of positive cases and we just gave out a bunch of used tests to students, but guess what Emmanuel’s been saying about us!” https://t.co/IvlRFQFesS —  Max  (@SpillerOfTea) October 14, 2020
7.
8.
Parliamentary sketch writer, John Crace, wondered at M. Macron’s motives.
This is like stepping into a parallel universe. Though it does show that Macron has a sense of humour https://t.co/H9UeMaDakL — John Crace (@JohnJCrace) October 14, 2020
Makes sense.
"And then I said to Monsieur Hancock, great fucking test and trace, mon ami!" https://t.co/4lRQwVHBLl pic.twitter.com/4ctxMKBvP6 — Simon Bruni (@SimonBruni) October 14, 2020
Plot twist …this is the “compliment”.
This is the "compliment" Hancock was tweeting about. The context of the question is "Stop COVID", their failed contact tracing app Macron blames its failure on "not enough downloads", says "the UK and Germany had more [downloads]" before saying nobody's app has been successful pic.twitter.com/zQpY9svKMo — Psyber Attack (@PsyberAttack) October 14, 2020
“(I)n Germany and the UK there were a lot more downloads…The cases they identified using these apps, even in Germany and the UK – very few.”
If that’s a compliment, we’d hate for him to insult it.
READ MORE
16,000 Covid test results got lost because the system uses Excel – 15 scathing takedowns
Source Matt Hancock Image John Cameron on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-10-15--A Merseyside pub has been renamed The Three Bellends in protest at Covid rules – 6 ringing endorseme

A Merseyside pub has been renamed The Three Bellends in protest at Covid rules – 6 ringing endorsements

A pub in New Brighton , Wirral , which falls under the Liverpool region ’ s tier 3 restrictions , @ @ @ @ @ of name in protest at the measures .
What is usually The James Atherton is @ @ @ @ @ name of ‘ The Three Bellends ’ , complete with a stunning new sign , @ @ @ @ @ Cummings , and Matt Hancock .
The makeover was revealed by Daniel Davies , CEO @ @ @ @ @ owns the pub and others in the area .
Jack Hunter , the graphic designer @ @ @ @ @ was shocked at the level of interest in the project he ’ d helped bring @ @ @ @ @ s best Boris Johnson parody responded to the “ honour ” .
Here ’ s @ @ @ @ @ the move .
Daniel added a call to pub owners to join the creative protest @ @ @ @ @ suggestions .
We particularly enjoyed these suggestions : 12 scathing takedowns of the new 3-tier @ @

Weird World
A pub in New Brighton, Wirral, which falls under the Liverpool region’s tier 3 restrictions, has had a temporary change of name in protest at the measures.
What is usually The James Atherton is currently going by the impressive name of ‘The Three Bellends’, complete with a stunning new sign, featuring the PM, Dominic Cummings, and Matt Hancock.
The makeover was revealed by Daniel Davies, CEO of Rockpoint Leisure – which owns the pub and others in the area.
Jack Hunter, the graphic designer responsible for the sign, was shocked at the level of interest in the project he’d helped bring to life.
Never did I think, that a mad idea sent my way at half 11 on a Monday night would receive this much coverage 😂 long live The Three Bellends 🔔🔔🔔 biggest design to date! 😂@danieldaviesRPL pic.twitter.com/e8KfTvfx6W — Jack Hunter (@jacktthunter) October 14, 2020
Twitter’s best Boris Johnson parody responded to the “honour”.
Deeply honoured to have this pub in New Brighton renamed in honour of myself and my esteemed colleagues. #Lockdown2 #ThreeBellends pic.twitter.com/9zX1wQxtod — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 14, 2020
I'm sure @susie_dent could confirm, but my understanding is that 'bellend' is a derivation of 'beloved and endearing'. — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 14, 2020
Here’s what other people thought of the move.
1.
A Sign of the Times. https://t.co/isHYWN3eX4 — Gavin Esler (@gavinesler) October 14, 2020
2.
Not sure I've ever seen a Special Adviser on a pub sign before. https://t.co/938sYorGtY — Robert Hutton (@RobDotHutton) October 14, 2020
3.
Now that’s a rebrand https://t.co/6wJxHdUlXu — Liam Thorp (@LiamThorpECHO) October 14, 2020
4.
You have to love the pointed sense of humour in Liverpool – The Three Bellends https://t.co/LhGCfW3baa — Fintan Ryan (@fintanr) October 14, 2020
5.
It’s safe to say I wasn’t disappointed when I looked to see why “The Three Bellends” was trending… — Moon;🧚🏽♀ (@HoneydewTales) October 14, 2020
6.
My day is now complete, something to bring a smile to everyone’s face New Brighton Merseyside have got a cracking sense of humour😂 Boris Johnson, Matt Hancock & Dominic Cummings as the Three Bellends If we’re up that way, we will be visiting for sure
pic.twitter.com/GykikUooMS — kerry Hooper🌹 (@hewitson10) October 14, 2020
Daniel added a call to pub owners to join the creative protest, asking for other rebrand suggestions.
Rockpoint Leisure is calling on pubs across the land to follow us and do a temporary name change (for the duration of Marshal Law) to reflect the mood of the nation. Let’s get some name ideas going! The Three Bellends 🛎🛎🛎 #LongLiveHospitality RT @wearethentia @alanvibe pic.twitter.com/uNoX5oA2A2 — Daniel Davies (@danieldaviesRPL) October 14, 2020
We particularly enjoyed these suggestions:
The track and trace would be a great name for a boozer as well. Could make it really authentic by messing up orders in the same way they've ballsed up testing. — ShakyP (@fed_lies) October 14, 2020
The Eton Mess — Crone(akaCorona)🤒Alone😷 (@PamillaBAV1) October 14, 2020
Finally, in true plague-response tradition, Jaime Carroll had a suggestion.
Go to The Three Bellends, have a pint, and wait for all this to blow over. https://t.co/xbc2iPiL9Q — ☠ The Carroll in the Woods ☠ (@JaimeCarroll87) October 14, 2020
via Gfycat
READ MORE
12 scathing takedowns of the new 3-tier coronavirus measures
Source Liverpool Echo Image Daniel Davies


thepoke--2020-10-15--The Flaming Lips performed in bubbles to an audience entirely in bubbles and it’s very 2020

Flaming Lips lead singer Wayne Coyne has been rolling around in a giant see-through bubble at the band ’ s gigs for some time now .
But thanks to the pandemic it ’ s not just the singer who ’ s in a bubble .
Now the audience is too and it ’ s quite the sight … What a time to be alive .
And here are just some of the things people said after it was shared by MookieT on Reddit .
‘ As someone who likes to catastrophise , my first thought was how nightmarish it would @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ DizzyHeron3 ‘ How the hell did they not suffocate after hours spent in an almost hermetically sealed plastic ball ?
’ paolopao ‘ Lol I work in events ( in normal times lmao ) so my mind goes to the bad scenarios super easily , I would love to read their risk assessment.
’ DizzyHeron3 ‘ We will supply the place with a huge pool stick and professional , giant pool players.
’ TheReal_KindStranger ‘ Too complicated .
Just suspend porcupines from the ceiling from water soluble strings .
If the fire @ @ @ @ @ @ @ release the porcupines , who will drop down and pop the bubbles , allowing the patrons to escape.
’ goose-and-fish ‘ Too complicated .
Just makes the giant bubbles super-flammable so in case of fire they automatically disappear.
’ sintaur ‘ This looks like something from an 80s movie about the 90s.
’ burningcookies4this ‘ I wonder how many of them are trapped in a fart hell.
’ 6pAz6uZu6 The gig took place in the band ’ s hometown of Oklahoma City .
Here ’ s what it looked like when they were @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 4,000 capacity venue , apparently .
This flat for rent has only got half a bath and people aren ’ t taking it lying down

Videos
Flaming Lips lead singer Wayne Coyne has been rolling around in a giant see-through bubble at the band’s gigs for some time now.
But thanks to the pandemic it’s not just the singer who’s in a bubble. Now the audience is too and it’s quite the sight …
The Flaming Lips performed a gig in bubbles to an audience also in bubbles last night. pic.twitter.com/XzNRKWvPn4 — Robby Richmond (@Robbyrichmond) October 14, 2020
What a time to be alive. And here are just some of the things people said after it was shared by MookieT on Reddit.
‘As someone who likes to catastrophise, my first thought was how nightmarish it would be if the fire alarm went off.’ DizzyHeron3 ‘How the hell did they not suffocate after hours spent in an almost hermetically sealed plastic ball?’ paolopao ‘Lol I work in events (in normal times lmao) so my mind goes to the bad scenarios super easily, I would love to read their risk assessment.’ DizzyHeron3 ‘We will supply the place with a huge pool stick and professional, giant pool players.’ TheReal_KindStranger ‘Too complicated. Just suspend porcupines from the ceiling from water soluble strings. If the fire alarm goes off, the sprinklers will release the porcupines, who will drop down and pop the bubbles, allowing the patrons to escape.’ goose-and-fish ‘Too complicated. Just makes the giant bubbles super-flammable so in case of fire they automatically disappear.’ sintaur ‘This looks like something from an 80s movie about the 90s.’ burningcookies4this ‘I wonder how many of them are trapped in a fart hell.’ 6pAz6uZu6
The gig took place in the band’s hometown of Oklahoma City. Here’s what it looked like when they were setting up, 100 bubbles in a 4,000 capacity venue, apparently.
(via Imgur)
READ MORE
This flat for rent has only got half a bath and people aren’t taking it lying down
Source Twitter @Robbyrichmond Reddit u/MookieT


thepoke--2020-10-16--This fish playing peekaboo might help take the edge off just a little bit

Fish playing peekaboo ?
You got it .
Specifically , a yellow tang which is – Google , Google – a saltwater fish species of the family Acanthuridae and is one of the most popular aquarium fish , don ’ t you know .
It went viral after it was shared by Redditor taykaybo and here are just a few of the things people said about it .
‘ Do fish actually play like this ?
Edit – Turns out they do !
Last week I saw a chicken and a dog playing like this , now human and fish @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ‘ Fish can be playful for sure .
Betta fish will do tricks for food.
’ taykaybo ‘ I love tangs .
Very intelligent and responsive .
Morbid/fun fact : they have a substantial barb on their tail fin that they will use to split other fish open .
They mainly use it on other tangs or tang shaped fish , so it ’ s best to only own one at a time.
’ ortusdux ‘ My friend Lou had a whole bunch of these fish .
He had some crazy idea about @ @ @ @ @ @ @ carcasses .
He tried for years , but he never even came close to succeeding .
He finally accepted what we all knew from the start .
The joy of this dog after it has its prosthetic legs fitted is the content we needed right now

Videos
Fish playing peekaboo? You got it. Specifically, a yellow tang which is – Google, Google – a saltwater fish species of the family Acanthuridae and is one of the most popular aquarium fish, don’t you know.
It went viral after it was shared by Redditor taykaybo and here are just a few of the things people said about it.
‘Do fish actually play like this? Edit – Turns out they do! Last week I saw a chicken and a dog playing like this, now human and fish … whats next Reddit?’ Supremetacoleader ‘Fish can be playful for sure. Betta fish will do tricks for food.’ taykaybo ‘I love tangs. Very intelligent and responsive. Morbid/fun fact: they have a substantial barb on their tail fin that they will use to split other fish open. They mainly use it on other tangs or tang shaped fish, so it’s best to only own one at a time.’ ortusdux ‘My friend Lou had a whole bunch of these fish. He had some crazy idea about training them to remove feathers from chicken carcasses. He tried for years, but he never even came close to succeeding. He finally accepted what we all knew from the start. ‘Lou’s tang clan ain’t nuthin’ to pluck with.’ zamundan
READ MORE
The joy of this dog after it has its prosthetic legs fitted is the content we needed right now
Source YouTube H/T Reddit u/taykaybo


thepoke--2020-10-16--Donald Trump retweeted a spoof news story about Twitter and Joe Biden and it’s perfect

In last night ’ s televised Town Hall event , it was suggested to Donald Trump that he should stop @ @ @ @ @ crazy uncle ’ .
Trump brushed it all off , of course , but today @ @ @ @ @ of why the so-called president should look before he tweet .
He shared a satirical @ @ @ @ @ about Joe Biden and Twitter – hard to tell which of the Donald Trump likes @ @ @ @ @ impression that it was the genuine article .
And it ’ s just perfect .
@ @ @ @ @ Bee ‘ news ’ story shared by Trump and the more you read it , @ @ @ @ @ Crazy Uncle indeed .
And here are our favourite things people said about it .
@ @ @ @ @ inconsiderable leap to suggest Trump was in on the joke .
To which there is @ @ @ @ @ This woman told Donald Trump he ’ s so handsome when he smiles – only @ @ @ @

Twitter
In last night’s televised Town Hall event, it was suggested to Donald Trump that he should stop retweeting stuff like a ‘crazy uncle’.
Trump brushed it off, of course, but today we had the perfect example of why the so-called president should look a bit harder – or look at all, in fact – before he tweets.
He shared a satirical news site’s story about Joe Biden and Twitter under the false impression that it was the genuine article. And it’s just perfect.
Here’s the Babylon Bee ‘news’ story shared by Trump and the more you read it, the better it gets.
(via Babylon Bee)
‘Crazy uncle’ indeed. And here are our favourite things people said about it.
THE BABYLON BEE IS A HUMOR SITE YOU CREDULOUS FOOL — Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) October 16, 2020
Oh good King boomer has logged on — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) October 16, 2020
The president just retweeted a parody story thinking it’s real. Literally every day is like a mini-episode of Idiocracy. But the thing is, he has the nuclear codes. https://t.co/zWe0kSblKz — Mehdi Hasan (@mehdirhasan) October 16, 2020
Jesus Christ but you are thick as shit. — 🎃John Rain🎃 (@MrKenShabby) October 16, 2020
Trump retweeting parody network @TheBabylonBee is beyond parody pic.twitter.com/Ja8aCSfMib — Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) October 16, 2020
later today the President will be blasting the Onion for biased coverage. — Joe Lockhart (@joelockhart) October 16, 2020
Some people made the not inconsiderable leap to suggest Trump was in on the joke. To which there is surely only one response.
All the people on this thread saying Trump is in on the joke: You're even dumber than he is. — Nick Jack Pappas (@Pappiness) October 16, 2020
READ MORE
This woman told Donald Trump he’s so handsome when he smiles – only 9 responses you need
Source @realDonaldTrump


‘Snitches get stitches’

If you only watch one funny dog video this week , make it this one … Except someone thought they @ @ @ @ @ The joy of this dog after it has its prosthetic legs fitted is the content @ @ @ @

Videos
If you only watch one funny dog video this week, make it this one …
Snitches get stitches pic.twitter.com/xcgbUE4HdM — Icculus The Brave (@FirenzeMike) October 15, 2020
Except someone thought they spotted the real culprit …
Look at the brown dog in the corner .. whole time he did that shit 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/GGEpe896CT — LAKESHOW💜💛 (@callmeblasion) October 16, 2020
READ MORE
The joy of this dog after it has its prosthetic legs fitted is the content we needed right now
Source Twitter @FirenzeMike


thepoke--2020-10-16--The joy of this dog after it has its prosthetic legs fitted is the content we needed right now

This is just a lovely watch and exactly what we needed at the end of a long week .
It @ @ @ @ @ a dog having two prosthetic legs fitted and it was shared on Reddit by Bmchris44 @ @ @ @ @ posting this .
I could feel his happiness and excitement so much.
’ PurplePanda285 ‘ @ @ @ @ @ lick you !
I ’ m gon na lick you !
!
I ’ m @ @ @ @ @ !
!
Hey , Cameraman , get over here .
I ’ m gon na @ @ @ @ @ !
!
!
’ terbear ‘ He already seemed plenty happy even before they put @ @ @ @ @ UnpopularCrayon ‘ I was gon na say— that dog was gon na be happy if @ @ @ @ @ the wrong leg .
Haha .
But this is heartwarming .
I ’ m not @ @ @ @ @ all Andrew Cotter ’ s brilliant Olive and Mabel videos , this is our very @

Videos
This is just a lovely watch and exactly what we needed at the end of a long week.
It’s a video of a dog having two prosthetic legs fitted and it was shared on Reddit by Bmchris44.
Absolute joy.
‘Thank you for posting this. I could feel his happiness and excitement so much.’ PurplePanda285 ‘I’m gonna lick you!
I’m gonna lick you!!
I’m gonna lick you!!!
Hey, Cameraman, get over here. I’m gonna lick you, too!!!!’ terbear ‘He already seemed plenty happy even before they put it on him!’ UnpopularCrayon ‘I was gonna say— that dog was gonna be happy if you put a prosthetic on the wrong leg. Haha. But this is heartwarming. I’m not a monster.’ abzoni910
READ MORE
Of all Andrew Cotter’s brilliant Olive and Mabel videos, this is our very favourite
Source Reddit u/Bmchris44


thepoke--2020-10-16--Your weekly coronavirus-free funny tweet zone – our 25 favourites

If you live in Tier 2 or 3 , this week has probably felt even longer than usual , which @ @ @ @ @ give yourself a five-minute break and time to enjoy this coronavirus-free collection of funny tweets @

Twitter
If you live in Tier 2 or 3, this week has probably felt even longer than usual, which is why you deserve to give yourself a five-minute break and time to enjoy this coronavirus-free collection of funny tweets.
Spread the joy – retweet your favourites.
1.
Karen was talking about a place earlier, she said "It used to be a beef restaurant". We knew it didn’t sound right but couldn’t think of the right name until she suddenly said "Steakhouse!" but from now on they will always be beef restaurants. — Fenton! Fenton! FENTON! Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) October 10, 2020
2.
Just for one week they should replace 'The Andrew Marr Show' with 'The Johnny Marr Show'. I bet that would cheer us up. — Richard Osman (@richardosman) October 11, 2020
3.
My husband and I are so married that even our GPS apps argue about directions. — Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 10, 2020
4.
Has anyone in the history of texting ever actually meant to write ‘ducking’? — Jayne Sharp (@Jaynesharp) October 11, 2020
5.
Can't believe rich people can afford panic rooms and I just have to panic in normal rooms like an idiot. — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) October 11, 2020
6.
Monopoly gave me unrealistic expectations of:
1) Finding free parking
2) Joining the property ladder
3) Bank errors being in my favour
4) Buying my way out of prison — Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) October 11, 2020
7.
took my dressing gown off the shoulder and suddenly I’m the people’s princess x pic.twitter.com/Zcm7EdRZrQ — tomb (@th0m4sd4v1d) October 10, 2020
8.
People who think they’re too good to shop in Aldi need to relax. Go grab your bread & milk, a tyre, a baby monitor and a giant garden gnome and cheer up — Rachael (@RachaelvsWorld) October 12, 2020
9.
Pretty sure we have more comfortable places to sit but ok pic.twitter.com/0cufQmceOe — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) October 12, 2020
10.
Sid from Ice Age pic.twitter.com/kr4OwKTF2G — Faces in Things (@FacesPics) October 13, 2020
11.
12.


thepoke--2020-10-16--Turns out we might not have properly thought this through

‘ Oh shit , ’ says YoungBrexit over on Reddit .
‘ Whenever i do an elbow bump i always @ @ @ @ @ in my mouth before i get a chance to wash them.
’ _Broccoli_Rob ‘ That @ @ @ @ @ sneeze into the back of my knee.
’ LawnSauce

‘Oh shit,’ says YoungBrexit over on Reddit.
‘Whenever i do an elbow bump i always end up putting my elbows in my mouth before i get a chance to wash them.’ _Broccoli_Rob
‘They do taste great though …’ Emil_Jorgensen05
‘That’s why I always sneeze into the back of my knee.’ LawnSauce


thepoke--2020-10-16--This ‘rural landscape’ isn’t what it seems and it’s blowing people’s minds

This image has just gone viral on Reddit because it ’ s not what it looks like .
Here ’ s the picture , shared by Redditor Wolfdijon .
And we ’ re not sure what you thought it was but it ’ s actually … the top of a fence post .
And if you didn ’ t immediately think that ’ s what it was , then you ’ re not alone ( and if you did , please move on , there is nothing more to see here ) .
‘ Looks like a lost valley in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ looking for a fence post in the ‘ landscape ’ for a few seconds there .
Sick pic.
’ mastercin99 ‘ The crazy part is the organisms on the top of that post are probably radically different than the ones on the ground next to it .
Eco bubbles are cool.
’ Helzacat ‘ This took waaaaaaay to long to ‘ click ’ , i legit thought it was a valley somewhere maybe called fence post or is there a fence post in it….where is this place ?
….tick…..tick…tick…OOOHHHH !
!
!
FENCE @ @ @ @ @ @ @ nature is fucking amazing .
Thanks for sharing it ’ s gorgeous.
’ LiLOwlkins And here ’ s the zoomed out view in case you were wondering … This field isn ’ t what it appears to be and it ’ s blowing people ’ s minds Source Reddit u/Wolfdijon

Pics
This image has just gone viral on Reddit because it’s not what it looks like. Here’s the picture, shared by Redditor Wolfdijon.
And we’re not sure what you thought it was but it’s actually … the top of a fence post.
And if you didn’t immediately think that’s what it was, then you’re not alone (and if you did, please move on, there is nothing more to see here).
‘Looks like a lost valley in an inactive volcano.’ MrAres23 ‘Was looking for a fence post in the ‘landscape’ for a few seconds there. Sick pic.’ mastercin99 ‘The crazy part is the organisms on the top of that post are probably radically different than the ones on the ground next to it. Eco bubbles are cool.’ Helzacat ‘This took waaaaaaay to long to ‘click’, i legit thought it was a valley somewhere maybe called fence post or is there a fence post in it….where is this place?….tick…..tick…tick…OOOHHHH!!! FENCE POST!!! beautiful pic, nature is fucking amazing. Thanks for sharing it’s gorgeous.’ LiLOwlkins
And here’s the zoomed out view in case you were wondering …
READ MORE
This field isn’t what it appears to be and it’s blowing people’s minds
Source Reddit u/Wolfdijon


thepoke--2020-10-16--This woman told Donald Trump he’s so handsome when he smiles – only 9 responses you need

Donald Trump did a televised ‘ town hall ’ ahead of next month ’ s presidential election and there were @ @ @ @ @ not least when the event ’ s host compared him to a ‘ crazy uncle @ @ @ @ @ also this , a woman who not only had a question for the so-called president @ @ @ @ @ she really , really wanted to tell him .
And it ’ s this week @ @ @ @ @ some distance .
We ’ ve read everything people said about it so you don @ @ @ @ @ here are our 9 favourite responses .
Mary Trump had the best response to that @ @ @ @ @ ’ burn

Twitter
Donald Trump did a televised ‘town hall’ ahead of next month’s presidential election and there were lots of memorable moments, not least when the event’s host compared him to a ‘crazy uncle’.
But there was also this, a woman who not only had a question for the so-called president, she also had something she really, really wanted to tell him.
And it’s this week’s cringiest moment by some distance.
Voter to President Trump at #TrumpTownHall: “You’re so handsome when you smile.” pic.twitter.com/KgJThAtAQg — NBC News (@NBCNews) October 16, 2020
We’ve read everything people said about it so you don’t have to and here are our 9 favourite responses.
1.
Ew what the fuck is happening? https://t.co/ICB0Fh670e — Dylan O'Brien (@dylanobrien) October 16, 2020
2.
People wrote Charles Manson love letters in prison. I’m just saying. https://t.co/i1dY7RJv9O — The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) October 16, 2020
3.
mr president I just want to say i love your smile! pic.twitter.com/nZcoXkZ67l — jordan (@JordanUhl) October 16, 2020
4.
Chilling to remember that even if Biden wins these people will just continue to exist https://t.co/yZCYL331fq — Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) October 16, 2020
5.
This is why Allison Janney is the best. pic.twitter.com/1cwjxoIxQD — Keith Edwards (@keithedwards) October 16, 2020
6.
Gurl, stop buying prescription glasses at my merch store…clearly them things don’t really work. 🤮 https://t.co/YbLGDYQSu0 — Randy Rainbow (@RandyRainbow) October 16, 2020
7.
8.
EVERY VOMIT GIF AVAILABLE. — Survivingnsweatpants (@Mominsweats) October 16, 2020
9.
can’t stop watching this. she’s so horny, so charmingly nervous, so desperate for attention from a guy who doesn’t care if she lives or dies. it’s all there. she should be a hero! and yet — she’s cancelled.pic.twitter.com/RVWcGrJPFQ — caleb in nyc 10/9 (@calebsaysthings) October 16, 2020
READ MORE
Mary Trump had the best response to that Donald Trump ‘crazy uncle’ burn
Source @NBCNews


thepoke--2020-10-16--Steve Martin has got his Halloween costume ready – and we can’t see anyone beating it

Although social distancing is going to put the mockers on any Halloween party plans you might have had , people @ @ @ @ @ of dressing up – presumably so they can look the part for the spooky Zoom @ @ @ @ @ been wondering what costumes could possibly be good enough for a year that ’ s @ @ @ @ @ far , we ’ ve some up with these : However , comedian , actor @ @ @ @ @ , Steve Martin , has come up with a costume that ’ s practical , @ @ @ @ @ 2020 .
In case you ’ ve been asleep or too busy tending to your @ @ @ @ @ what he ’ s replicating .
Here are a few of the many reactions to @ @ @ @ @ costume ” .
And because somebody had to say it .
There ’ s a @ @ @ @ @ that landed on Mike Pence during the debate – the only 5 reactions you need

Pics
Although social distancing is going to put the mockers on any Halloween party plans you might have had, people are still into the idea of dressing up – presumably so they can look the part for the spooky Zoom quiz.
We’ve been wondering what costumes could possibly be good enough for a year that’s already terrifying, and so far, we’ve some up with these:
Sexy Matt Hancock An empty hand sanitiser dispenser – that you’ve just pressed A lift companion with a dry cough A packed Wetherspoons A Trump landslide
However, comedian, actor, musician and absolute genius, Steve Martin, has come up with a costume that’s practical, funny, and absolutely nails 2020.
My Halloween costume arrived! pic.twitter.com/psobRQ4eqO — Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) October 14, 2020
In case you’ve been asleep or too busy tending to your sourdough starter – this is what he’s replicating.
Total time a fly sat on Mike Pence's head: two minutes pic.twitter.com/PtI0rKSi5I — Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) October 8, 2020
Here are a few of the many reactions to Steve’s ingenious “costume”.
It's so worth clicking on this photo 😂 😂 https://t.co/havCBuNpwV — Liz Clarke (@lizclarketweet) October 14, 2020
And because somebody had to say it.
A wild and crazy fly. https://t.co/tF772s9Y9m — Strictly Vanguard ☭ (@christoq) October 15, 2020
READ MORE
There’s a real buzz about the fly that landed on Mike Pence during the debate – the only 5 reactions you need
Source Steve Martin Image Steve Martin, Daniel Lincoln on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-10-16--This doctor’s takedown of a troll who questioned why Joe Biden wore two masks is supremely satisfyin

This doctor’s takedown of a troll who questioned why Joe Biden wore two masks is supremely satisfying

Have to confess we hadn ’ t come across Ian Miles Cheong – @ stillgray – on Twitter and we probably won ’ t again .
We only mention him because he had lots to say about Joe Biden wearing two masks and this doctor ’ s response makes it all worthwhile .
‘ Wonder if he can get the doctor to treat that burn , ’ said curiouscolombian1 who shared it on Reddit .
‘ Trying to make fun of someone for wearing masks is like trying to make fun of someone who puts on a seatbelt before driving @ @ @ @ @ @ @ checked out his twitter and holy hell are his followers extremely stupid .
They believe masks are super spreaders.
’ Jeedeye And just in case you were wondering … ‘ It ’ s not two masks , but a mask over an N95 respirator .
This is actually a common practice now .
The mask keeps the N95 cleaner for reuse .
In Trump ’ s America , N95s have to be reused as we don ’ t have enough to treat them as disposable .
Biden doing this actually tells me he @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 5 brutal takedowns you need of these ‘ cheeky ’ anti-maskers

Weird World
Have to confess we hadn’t come across Ian Miles Cheong – @stillgray – on Twitter and we probably won’t again.
We only mention him because he had lots to say about Joe Biden wearing two masks and this doctor’s response makes it all worthwhile.
‘Wonder if he can get the doctor to treat that burn,’ said curiouscolombian1 who shared it on Reddit.
Oof.
‘Trying to make fun of someone for wearing masks is like trying to make fun of someone who puts on a seatbelt before driving on the highway.’ TooShiftyForYou ‘I checked out his twitter and holy hell are his followers extremely stupid. They believe masks are super spreaders.’ Jeedeye
And just in case you were wondering …
‘It’s not two masks, but a mask over an N95 respirator. This is actually a common practice now. The mask keeps the N95 cleaner for reuse. In Trump’s America, N95s have to be reused as we don’t have enough to treat them as disposable. Biden doing this actually tells me he knows his business.’ NiceandPositive
READ MORE
The only 5 brutal takedowns you need of these ‘cheeky’ anti-maskers
Source Reddit u/curiouscolombian1


thepoke--2020-10-16--Donald Trump was compared to a ‘crazy uncle’ and Mary Trump had the best response

Donald Trump took part in a televised ‘ town hall ’ event on Thursday night as the US presidential election @ @ @ @ @ were lots of , ahem , memorable moments , but this one in particular stood @ @ @ @ @ the event ’ s host , NBC News journalist Savannah Guthrie , asked him about @ @ @ @ @ conspiracy theories .
And the exchange that followed is well worth your time .
And @ @ @ @ @ say the internet loved it .
But the best response – the very best response @ @ @ @ @ .
One word takedowns don ’ t come much better than that .

Twitter
Donald Trump took part in a televised ‘town hall’ event on Thursday night as the US presidential election looms ever closer.
There were lots of, ahem, memorable moments, but this one in particular stood out.
It was when the event’s host, NBC News journalist Savannah Guthrie, asked him about his fondness for retweeting baseless conspiracy theories.
And the exchange that followed is well worth your time.
Pres. Trump: “That was a retweet, I’ll put it out there. People can decide for themselves.”@SavannahGuthrie: “I don’t get that. You’re the president. You’re not, like, someone’s crazy uncle who can just retweet whatever.” #TrumpTownHall pic.twitter.com/sFEiIbJPgd — NBC News (@NBCNews) October 16, 2020
Boom.
‘You’re not somebody’s crazy uncle who can just retweet whatever.’
And it’s fair to say the internet loved it.
Savannah Guthrie for the win. Trump talking about retweeting conspiracy theories and Savannah nails him with a “You're not like someone's crazy uncle who can retweet whatever”… https://t.co/P5kiywvTHR — Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) October 16, 2020
Savannah Guthrie just compared Trump to someone's crazy uncle to his face. She is destroying him. — MeidasTouch.com (@MeidasTouch) October 16, 2020
I’ve made my decision and it’s Savannah Guthrie. 🇺🇸 — Randy Rainbow (@RandyRainbow) October 16, 2020
But the best response – the very best response – came from Mary Trump.
One word takedowns don’t come much better than that.
Source @MaryLTrump @NBCNews


thepoke--2020-10-16--Our 10 favourite funny coronavirus posts of the day

It never ceases to amaze us that the funny people of the internet maintain a strong sense of humour in @ @ @ @ @ all this – yet they do , and these posts are proof .
There ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ dj_fattony_ on Instagram .
Clearer than an hour-long briefing from the government .
Tiers @ @ @ @ @ are on the minds of these funny tweeters – 12 lockdown laughs

Twitter
It never ceases to amaze us that the funny people of the internet maintain a strong sense of humour in the face of *waves hand* all this – yet they do, and these posts are proof.
1.
I'm just saying everyone eating as much as possible for the next three weeks and then hibernating until March would fix it. CDC return my calls. — Jaya Saxena (@jayasax) October 15, 2020
2.
It’s going to go crazy on Facebook in a couple of months when they find out about Covid-19. — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) October 15, 2020
3.
*clears throat* tier-ry ennui — Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) October 15, 2020
4.
When your friend Manuel tries to give you a hug. pic.twitter.com/S7lODbOas0 — Jim Daly (@jimdalycomedy) October 13, 2020
5.
Which is the tier where I don't have to go to work but I'm allowed to share drugs with a stranger in a toilet cubicle, I want that one — Jelly Cronut (@jellycrone) October 15, 2020
6.
can't wait till you're allowed to not put hand sanitiser in soup again — David O'Doherty (@phlaimeaux) October 15, 2020
7.
Pre Covid: Half marathon Current: Pulls a hammy while trimming my beard — Bart (@bartandsoul) October 13, 2020
8.
they r letting pubs stay open if they serve food because you just know if they didnt bring that loophole in, wetherspoons would just register all 875 locations as childcare providers — feral pumpkin (@freezydorito) October 15, 2020
9.
My next door neighbour got a job painting the social distancing markings, you can say what you like about Trevor but at least you know where you stand with him. — Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) October 15, 2020
10.
no.10 planning to replace Serco’s disastrous Track and Trace system with a new improved one from Wetherspoons — dave ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) October 15, 2020
There’s also this, from @dj_fattony_ on Instagram.
Clearer than an hour-long briefing from the government.
READ MORE
Tiers, long Covid and circuit-breakers are on the minds of these funny tweeters – 12 lockdown laughs
Image Henrique Félix on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-10-16--‘This is how Japan attacked Pearl Harbour according to flat earthers’

Over on Reddit viktorknavs shared a map showing exactly how flat earthers think Japan attacked Pearl Harbour .
An easy @ @ @ @ @ an entirely valid one ( flat earthers , we mean ) .
And here are @ @ @ @ @ things people were saying about it .
‘ Everyone knows they flew through the hollow @ @ @ @ @ Harbor .
That is why they were able to evade radar detection.
’ Half_Past_Five ‘ @ @ @ @ @ Godzilla was found , he attacked Japan because they knew his secret.
’ insomnis_animo ‘ @ @ @ @ @ pseudoscience .
Real Flat Earthers know that Asia is on the left.
’ DontMakeMeCount As @ @ @ @ @ , ‘ The most common flat earth model if anyone is interested in crazy .
@ @ @ @ @ encircling ice wall.
’ And here it is .
A flat-Earther posted “ proof ” @ @ @ @ @ got murdered by words

Weird World
Over on Reddit viktorknavs shared a map showing exactly how flat earthers think Japan attacked Pearl Harbour.
An easy target, maybe, but an entirely valid one (flat earthers, we mean).
And here are just a few of the things people were saying about it.
‘Everyone knows they flew through the hollow earth to get to Pearl Harbor. That is why they were able to evade radar detection.’ Half_Past_Five ‘Funnily enough this is where Godzilla was found, he attacked Japan because they knew his secret.’ insomnis_animo ‘Get lost with your weak pseudoscience. Real Flat Earthers know that Asia is on the left.’ DontMakeMeCount
As fellow Redditor EmpireofAzad pointed out, ‘The most common flat earth model if anyone is interested in crazy. The South Pole becomes an encircling ice wall.’
And here it is.
Sold.
READ MORE
A flat-Earther posted “proof” of the conspiracy theory and got murdered by words
Source Reddit u/viktorknavs


thepoke--2020-10-16--The only 5 brutal takedowns you need of these ‘cheeky’ anti-maskers

As if Britain weren ’ t currently making enough of an ass of itself with the very public foot-shooting that @ @ @ @ @ staging a selfish protest in Berlin simply added the viral icing on the cake of @ @ @ @ @ fellow covidiots cheered their stand , most people weren ’ t up for their nonsense @ @ @ @ @ said all that needs to be said .
Finally , we couldn ’ t help @ @ @ @ @ Germany .

Twitter
As if Britain weren’t currently making enough of an ass of itself with the very public foot-shooting that is Brexit, these anti-maskers staging a selfish protest in Berlin simply added the viral icing on the cake of shame.
Although a few fellow covidiots cheered their stand, most people weren’t up for their nonsense, and these five reactions said all that needs to be said.
1.
Why not just defaecate in your pants? That is also antisocial and unhygienic. https://t.co/BWe4jZO1eh — Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) October 15, 2020
2.
I for one am pleased the health of the UK is protected by the "innate good common sense" of the British people. https://t.co/QY4lxuYJqq — RS Archer (@archer_rs) October 15, 2020
3.
When people ask you to take your shoes off before you walk into their house, do you drag mud in and tell them to go fuck themselves? https://t.co/zwY4N2EtHV — Mic Wright 🏳🌈🌋🏴☠ (@brokenbottleboy) October 15, 2020
4.
this is what a moron looks like. https://t.co/L5OqNKjrj0 — EniLorac 🇪🇺 #FBPE (@PointlessBrexit) October 14, 2020
5.
Finally, we couldn’t help agreeing with this plea from Germany.
Dear British friends, can you keep your arseholes on your island please!
Thank you from Germany https://t.co/zrZxuUVqvg — Kraut with a mission 🇩🇪🇪🇺🇬🇧🎪 3,5% 🕷🌹#FBPE (@EUMarauder) October 14, 2020
READ MORE
This anti-masker’s self-own is simply perfect
Source @charbrevolution Image @charbrevolution


thepoke--2020-10-16--This mash-up of the Ghostbuster’s theme with the Beastie Boys’ Intergalactic works so much better th

This mash-up of the Ghostbuster’s theme with the Beastie Boys’ Intergalactic works so much better than you’d expect

Every year , YouTuber William Maranci creates a fabulous mash-up to celebrate Halloween .
We know it ’ s a @ @ @ @ @ but this year ’ s offering is far too good to keep on a backburner @ @ @ @ @ the hell not ?
’ , here ’ s last year ’ s unexpectedly perfect @ @ @ @ @ , also with Ghostbusters .
If you need a Halloween mash-up for next year – @ @ @ @ @ ?
Cassetteboy ’ s Boris Johnson/Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick mash-up is so cleverly @

Videos
Every year, YouTuber William Maranci creates a fabulous mash-up to celebrate Halloween. We know it’s a couple of weeks away, but this year’s offering is far too good to keep on a backburner.
And because ‘Why the hell not?’, here’s last year’s unexpectedly perfect combination of Nine Inch Nails, also with Ghostbusters.
If you need a Halloween mash-up for next year – who ya gonna call?
READ MORE
Cassetteboy’s Boris Johnson/Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick mash-up is so cleverly done
Source Laughing Squid Image Screengrab