thepoke--2020-06-11--Kelly Cates’ two-footed takedown of this Conservative MP was perfectly timed

The Premier League kicks off again next week after a 100 day break because of coronavirus .
But by all @ @ @ @ @ lose the thick end of £1bn because of the disruption .
Conservative MP Julian Knight @ @ @ @ @ that number into a little bit of context for everyone .
And Sky Sports presenter @ @ @ @ @ d give Knight ’ s comment a little bit of context of its own .
@ @ @ @ @ and England striker , has helped raise more than £20m in food donations as part @ @ @ @ @ to help ensure kids don ’ t go hungry when they ’ re away from @ @ @ @ @ s fair to say people loved Cates for it , shared 3,000 times and liked @ @ @ @ @ 5 responses you need to the MP who refuses to be interviewed by Emily Maitlis @ @ @ @ @ him

Twitter
The Premier League kicks off again next week after a 100 day break because of coronavirus.
But by all accounts they are going to lose the thick end of £1bn because of the disruption.
Premier League clubs are set for a combined revenue loss of around £1billion this season because of the disruption caused by #COVID19, according to analysis by accountancy firm Deloitte https://t.co/S9hFQ7craw — SkyNews (@SkyNews) June 11, 2020
Conservative MP Julian Knight thought he’d put that number into a little bit of context for everyone.
To put into context, charities, which help millions of people, face a shortfall of £4bn https://t.co/c9pVZJYo58 — Julian Knight MP (@julianknight15) June 11, 2020
And Sky Sports presenter Kelly Cates thought she’d give Knight’s comment a little bit of context of its own.
https://twitter.com/KellyCates/status/1270982295332302850?s=20
Rashford, the Man Utd and England striker, has helped raise more than £20m in food donations as part of a project with FareShare to help ensure kids don’t go hungry when they’re away from school.
And it’s fair to say people loved Cates for it, shared 3,000 times and liked many times more.
Julian Knights voting record according to https://t.co/HOuuz3df6H pic.twitter.com/tOZSHRpXNB — Kelly Cates (at 🏡) (@KellyCates) June 11, 2020
READ MORE
Only 5 responses you need to the MP who refuses to be interviewed by Emily Maitlis because she ‘intimidates’ him
Source @KellyCates


thepoke--2020-06-11--Tommy Robinson left speechless after racism was explained to him has gone viral all over again

As you may have read elsewhere , Stephen Yaxley-Lennon ( also known as Tommy Robinson ) has been predictably countering @ @ @ @ @ the discussion going on right now about racism in society .
So what better time @ @ @ @ @ Robinson from a BBC3 show called Free Speech back in 2013 in which Robinson was @ @ @ @ @ racism explained to him by rapper Akala .
It went viral all over again because @ @ @ @ @ watch for yourself .
And here are just a few of the things people said @ @ @ @ @ opened but no words came out .
There ’ s a much longer clip from @ @ @ @ @ you can find Akala on Twitter here .
Tommy Robinson ’ s own words used @ @ @ @ @ in this hilarious sketch

Videos
As you may have read elsewhere, Stephen Yaxley-Lennon (also known as Tommy Robinson) has been predictably chuntering away in the sidelines of the discussion going on about racism in society, especially if it involves statues.
So what better time to revisit this clip of Yaxley-Lennon from a BBC3 show called Free Speech back in 2013 in which he was left speechless after having structural racism explained to him by rapper Akala.
It went viral all over again because, well, have a watch for yourself.
Akala destroying ‘fringe bigot’ Tommy Robinson is still one of the best moments ever for explaining structural racismpic.twitter.com/2F0pQwW1RP — Bernie bro (@TheBirmingham6) June 10, 2020
And here are just a few of the things people said about it.
Akala is brilliant – very articulate on many issues, eg knife crime. His book on race and class is excellent I’m told – waiting to borrow it from my son! — MigrantBird (@on_a_perch) June 10, 2020
I would ask the mainstream media to give Akala a show of his own, to inform and educate the public, about any topic he chooses. He has that knack to make the academic mundane boring stuff, exciting enough to hold the attention of the average viewer. Inspirational I think. — Tahir Bin Hussain #Forensic in’it! (@TahirBinHussai2) June 10, 2020
Something very satisfying to watch a bully being owned by logic, intelligence, and the truth. — cynical. But warming to your bad. 😍 (@WycheNick) June 10, 2020
Just love the look of ‘what do I say to comeback to that, bit out my depth here” look slapped all over his chevy chase at the end of the video. 🤣🤣 — Faz Sayyed (@fabsayyed) June 10, 2020
His mouth opened but no words came out. Here’s a longer clip from the BBC3 show …
… and you can find Akala on Twitter here.
READ MORE
Tommy Robinson’s own words used against him (again) in this hilarious sketch
Source @TheBirmingham6 H/T Indy100


thepoke--2020-06-11--Matt Hancock’s been given Michael Spicer’s ‘room next door’ treatment and it’s perfect

You may have seen Matt Hancock ’ s excruciating Sky News interview in which he was asked how many black @ @ @ @ @ cabinet .
Now it ’ s been given the ‘ room next door ’ treatment @ @ @ @ @ reckon it might be his best one yet .
And just in case you ’ @ @ @ @ @ want to watch one again you can find them all here .
And you can @ @ @ @ @ on Twitter here .
Michael Spicer hilariously struggles to rein in Donald Trump ’ s @ @ @ @ @ Door

Videos
You may have seen Matt Hancock’s excruciating Sky News interview in which he was asked how many black people there are in the cabinet.
Now it’s been given the ‘room next door’ treatment by Michael Spicer and people reckon it might be his best one yet.
the room next door – Matt Hancock and the Diversity of Thought pic.twitter.com/fuoujb0MBM — Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) June 11, 2020
Brilliantly done.
Love this! Dulux white colour chart 🤣 — Tits McGee (@Scientits) June 11, 2020
The best one yet https://t.co/dKb0L04VkO — Sathnam Sanghera (@Sathnam) June 11, 2020
This look just encapsulates how we’re all feeling 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/U5PZKR4H6n — Rachael Rendle 🐯🐼🦁 #Mnáwesome (@RendleRachael) June 11, 2020
https://twitter.com/DawnButlerBrent/status/1271030029342986240?s=20
Meaningless and offensive at the same time…. Ha Ha. — Cormac Donnelly (@CormacDonnelly1) June 11, 2020
And just in case you’ve missed any or you want to watch one again you can find them all here.
And you can follow the great Michael Spicer on Twitter here.
READ MORE
Michael Spicer hilariously struggles to rein in Donald Trump’s nonsense from the Room Next Door
Source Twitter @MrMichaelSpicer


thepoke--2020-06-11--A man spent 15 seconds working out why this guy was staring at him from a car

‘ Was trying to figure out why this guy wouldn ’ t stop staring at me from his car , @ @ @ @ @ the subReddit called ‘ confusing_perspective.
’ And those last two words are the clue as @ @ @ @ @ on .
‘ Turns out it ’ s just an advertisement on the car behind @ @ @ @ @ a while to work it out but we think we ’ ve got it now @ @ @ @ @ believe you were having an intensifying stare-off for at least fifteen minutes.
’ MoonSpankRaw ‘ @ @ @ @ @ doesn ’ t sound like much , but trust me it was long enough for @ @ @ @ @ I am.
’ mikec433 ‘ At least the fella is smiling instead of looking menacing.
@ @ @ @ @ ’ t what it appears to be and it ’ s blowing people ’ s @

Pics
‘Was trying to figure out why this guy wouldn’t stop staring at me from his car,’ says mikec433 over on the subReddit called ‘confusing_perspective.’
And those last two words are the clue as to what’s going on.
‘Turns out it’s just an advertisement on the car behind it.’
Still took us a while to work it out but we think we’ve got it now.
‘I like to believe you were having an intensifying stare-off for at least fifteen minutes.’ MoonSpankRaw ‘It was 15 seconds which doesn’t sound like much, but trust me it was long enough for me to realize how dumb I am.’ mikec433 ‘At least the fella is smiling instead of looking menacing.’ B0BNELS0N ‘Lol…that’s a good one.’ C9177
READ MORE
This field isn’t what it appears to be and it’s blowing people’s minds
Source Reddit u/mikec433


thepoke--2020-06-11--The “lads” guarding their local cenotaph have become a meme – our 10 favourites

Statues of slave traders and other racists have been getting it in the neck , left , right and centre @ @ @ @ @ Winston Churchill picked up a bit of graffiti and the statue of Edward Colston was @ @ @ @ @ some people came to their defence .
A bunch of *checks notes* “ lads ” @ @ @ @ @ sure their local cenotaph came to no harm .
Twitter found their hard-man stance a @ @ @ @ @ them into a meme .
It ’ s like they ’ ve got their own @ @ @ @ @ .
Finally , perhaps even bad people should get to have their statues left standing @ @ @ @ @ all roundly mock them .
Peter Shilton ’ s hot take on the statue debate @ @ @ @ @ open goal – the only 5 shots on target you need to read

Twitter
Statues of slave traders and other racists have been getting it in the neck, left, right and centre.
Sometimes literally.
After a monument to Winston Churchill picked up a bit of graffiti and the statue of Edward Colston was shoved into the harbour, some people came to their defence.
Yes, really.
"I love history to the point that I'm defending statues of slave owners" Here are some historical facts about Churchill "FUCK YOU HE SAVED US FROM HITLER" — James Felton (@JimMFelton) June 10, 2020
I like all the people who are like “oh well I guess we’ll just take down every statue of everyone who has ever been racist then!!!” like that isn’t the idea — Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) June 10, 2020
A bunch of *checks notes* “lads” from Plymouth decided to make sure their local cenotaph came to no harm.
PLYMOUTH lads protecting their cenotaph today. Big Respect to them 🏴🇬🇧 pic.twitter.com/AHFXHqTv9A — Nigel🇬🇧 (@Nigel21915926) June 7, 2020
Twitter found their hard-man stance a bit laughable, and turned them into a meme. It’s like they’ve got their own monument – in comedy form.
1.
CILLA lads protecting their lady today. Big Respect to them 🏴🇬🇧 pic.twitter.com/ShdI3X4DxH — Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) June 9, 2020
2.
Nice to see the Plymouth lads protecting Al Fayed and his Michael Jackson statue today pic.twitter.com/Jjsi7yuOyA — Jonathan Tomlinson (@notmyrealmood) June 10, 2020
3.
That's class, some lads are out protecting the Colston statue 👏👏👏 pic.twitter.com/8GWTWhXzLV — David (@di1cox) June 8, 2020
4.
The lads of Colchester aren't having any of that BLM nonsense at their statue 🙌 pic.twitter.com/WP6OANDuas — josie (@josiemayblue) June 10, 2020
5.
Dorch boys down Brewery Sqaure protecting the horse statue, fair play lads 🇬🇧👏🏼 pic.twitter.com/TlNlqNeeUL — Flyn Scott-Reilly (@flyn_sr) June 10, 2020
6.
Im heading down with the lads to protect this statue pic.twitter.com/ReAQ4Q1hxj — Gerard Murphy (@gmurphy27) June 10, 2020
7.
Good to see the lads out protecting the Jebidiah Springfield statue yesterday pic.twitter.com/x3J0P3LWip — Brad Goddard (@brad_goddard) June 10, 2020
8.
me and the plymouth lads on our way to tokyo to protect the gundam statue 🏴🇬🇧 pic.twitter.com/9xWUDKtlcN — chris (@hzlrbbt) June 10, 2020
9.
A38 lads protecting their orange elephant slide today. Big Respect to them 🏴🇬🇧 pic.twitter.com/6urQBxKMFK — Eve Price (@Eve_Pricey) June 10, 2020
10.
Me and the lads on our way to protect some statues. pic.twitter.com/QQcEtFx1Br — Jonny Sharples (@JonnyGabriel) June 7, 2020
Finally, perhaps even bad people should get to have their statues left standing if it means we can all roundly mock them.
I'm laughing so hard please keep this one pic.twitter.com/j2cpcJwfPp — selene (@oceanselene) June 9, 2020
READ MORE
Peter Shilton’s hot take on the statue debate left a bit of an open goal – the only 5 shots on target you need to read
Image @BeardedGenius


thepoke--2020-06-11--The nicking the ice cream bit was good, the trying to put it back, even better

‘ He tried to put it back , ’ said lol62056 over on the subReddit ‘ watch people die inside @ @ @ @ @ the guy searching for it.
’ testingutopia People shared experiences that made them die a @ @ @ @ @ are brilliantly excruciating

Videos
Outrageous daylight robbery here caught on live TV.
‘He tried to put it back,’ said lol62056 over on the subReddit ‘watch people die inside’.
‘The audacity, the skill, I am shook.’ lostinanendlesssea ‘So is the guy searching for it.’ testingutopia
READ MORE
People shared experiences that made them die a little inside and these 23 are brilliantly excruciating
Source Reddit lol62056


thepoke--2020-06-11--‘Preacher speaks out against gay rights and then … wait for it’

2020 ’ s Pride Month has been hampered by the importance of protecting people from Covid-19 , but that doesn ’ t mean the issues surrounding LGBTQ+ rights can ’ t take centre stage .
This clip from 2012 is a powerful watch that has gone viral all over again and is well worth two minutes of your time .
‘ Preacher speaks out against gay rights and then … wait for it , ’ says Slaughterpig09 over on Reddit .
It ’ s a Reverend called Phil Snider , in case you were wondering , and here are just @ @ @ @ @ @ @ saying about it .
‘ I have never changed my opinion on someone so quickly.
’ SuccinctSavage ‘ His point was very good , and yet potentially too nuanced .
People behind didn ’ t really seem to get the message en masse.
’ jaytee158 ‘ Yeah , the masses can be pretty fucking stupid .
It ’ s one of the bigger issues we face .
It ’ s difficult to discus very real and very important issues when a large chunk of the populace is staring off into space with drool @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the clip went viral the Rev Phil Snider later wrote this on his blog .
‘ The last few hours have been a bit of a whirlwind for me , to say the least .
I ’ m really heartened by all of the emails , Facebook messages , and kind words that I ’ ve received over the last 24 hours .
As I read each one , I don ’ t see them simply as messages that seek to affirm a particular talk I gave on a particular night in Springfield @ @ @ @ @ @ @ am for such affirmations ) , but rather , I view them as a reflection of the thousands — indeed , the millions — of people who , on a daily basis , are journeying together because we believe that our world can be a better place , a fairer place , a more beautiful place — for all people and not just for some — and we won ’ t stop calling for a more beautiful world to be born .
‘ I ’ m also grateful for all of the people @ @ @ @ @ @ @ whose names history won ’ t recall — who have allowed us to be where we are now , on whose shoulders we stand .
‘ These folks may not be famous — more times than not they are friends or family members who have bravely told their story , often in the face of major consequences .
They are the ones who have brought us to this place , and we carry their stories with us as we try to build a a more just world.
’ You can find him here @

Pics
2020’s Pride Month has been hampered by the importance of protecting people from Covid-19, but that doesn’t mean the issues surrounding LGBTQ+ rights can’t take centre stage.
This clip from 2012 is a powerful watch that has gone viral all over again and is well worth two minutes of your time.
‘Preacher speaks out against gay rights and then … wait for it,’ says Slaughterpig09 over on Reddit.
It’s a Reverend called Phil Snider, in case you were wondering, and here are just a few of the things people were saying about it.
‘I have never changed my opinion on someone so quickly.’ SuccinctSavage ‘Directed by m knight shyamalan.’ woot0 ‘His point was very good, and yet potentially too nuanced. People behind didn’t really seem to get the message en masse.’ jaytee158 ‘Yeah, the masses can be pretty fucking stupid. It’s one of the bigger issues we face. It’s difficult to discus very real and very important issues when a large chunk of the populace is staring off into space with drool running down their chin.’ EbenHSHD
After the clip went viral the Rev Phil Snider later wrote this on his blog.
‘The last few hours have been a bit of a whirlwind for me, to say the least. I’m really heartened by all of the emails, Facebook messages, and kind words that I’ve received over the last 24 hours. As I read each one, I don’t see them simply as messages that seek to affirm a particular talk I gave on a particular night in Springfield, MO (as grateful as I am for such affirmations), but rather, I view them as a reflection of the thousands — indeed, the millions — of people who, on a daily basis, are journeying together because we believe that our world can be a better place, a fairer place, a more beautiful place — for all people and not just for some — and we won’t stop calling for a more beautiful world to be born. ‘I’m also grateful for all of the people who have come before us — many whose names history won’t recall — who have allowed us to be where we are now, on whose shoulders we stand. ‘These folks may not be famous — more times than not they are friends or family members who have bravely told their story, often in the face of major consequences. They are the ones who have brought us to this place, and we carry their stories with us as we try to build a a more just world.’
You can find him here.
Source Reddit Slaughterpig09


thepoke--2020-06-11--Someone bought a pair of shoes online and got more than they bargained for

We ’ ve occasionally bought stuff online and it hasn ’ t quite arrived as expected – sometimes the wrong @ @ @ @ @ colour – but this , well this is simply next level stuff .
It ’ @ @ @ @ @ pair of shoes and got rather more than they bargained for .
The exchange was @ @ @ @ @ Twitter and you can find lots more of this sort of thing courtesy of the @ @ @ @ @ on Twitter and on Instagram here .
Here are just a few of the things @ @ @ @ @ Last word ( apart from who the hell peels an onion with a peeler ?
@ @ @ @ @ on Twitter .
It certainly does .

Weird World
We’ve occasionally bought stuff online and it hasn’t quite arrived as expected – sometimes the wrong size, occasionally the wrong colour – but this, well this is simply next level stuff.
It’s someone who ordered a pair of shoes and got rather more than they bargained for.
Look!
The exchange was shared by @goulcher on Twitter and you can find lots more of this sort of thing courtesy of the good people of @depopdrama on Twitter and on Instagram here.
Here are just a few of the things people said about it.
An onion tied to the belt makes a great accessory to a new pair of shoes pic.twitter.com/lSkSI7JooG — Sam McQueen (@samuel_mcqueen) June 10, 2020
Did she cook her shoes — joe (@goulcher) June 10, 2020
‘Feel free to throw them’… vs posting the onion back to her? 😂😂 — Alissa Burn (@Alissa_Comms) June 10, 2020
This story has multiple layers. — Chris Ward :: #BlackLivesMatter (@christopherward) June 10, 2020
Last word (apart from who the hell peels an onion with a peeler?) goes to @stateofselling on Twitter.
Multitasking has it’s downfalls pic.twitter.com/s9aIos7sAu — The State Of Selling (@StateOfSelling) June 11, 2020
It certainly does.
READ MORE
Customer complaint of the week
Source @goulcher


thepoke--2020-06-11--Top 10 funny takes on how we’re all coping with the pandemic

For some people , lockdown has loosened considerably .
They can go to zoos , visit someone else in their @ @ @ @ @ send their children to school , go to *checks notes* drive-in movies … Anyway , @ @ @ @ @ people have had to say about it all .
1 .
We ’ re running @ @ @ @ @ up to our quarantine resolutions 3 .
And they can be a little complicated 4 @ @ @ @ @ what preparations our leaders are actually making 5 .
We can go outside , but @ @ @ @ @ 6 .
There may be some upsides to the coronavirus guidelines 7 .
The report @ @ @ @ @ “ Could try harder ” 8 .
What happens if a straw man gets struck @ @ @ @ @ We ’ re going to be great at those ‘ guess the celebrity from their @ @ @ @ @ 10 .
Not all heroes wear capes – but they do wear masks What ’ @ @ @ @ @ coronavirus ?
Our 11 favourite tweets

Twitter
For some people, lockdown has loosened considerably. They can go to zoos, visit someone else in their home and stay over, send their children to school, go to *checks notes* drive-in movies …
Anyway, here’s what funny people have had to say about it all.
1. We’re running out of time to live up to our quarantine resolutions
When lockdown started I vowed to read more classic novels – instead, I’ve ended up on Candy Crush level 180 -which this morning tells me,
‘Congratulations! You’ve reached pudding planet ‘
Never a truer word was spoken 🙄 — Kate Robbins (@KateRobbins) June 9, 2020
2. The rules don’t always make sense
Can’t go and stay with the Thorps who are my parents but can go to sodding Thorpe park https://t.co/ecW2iBUjxb — Liam Thorp (@LiamThorpECHO) June 9, 2020
3. And they can be a little complicated
New lockdown rules for England:
You can hunt Neil Buchanan from Art Attack but not Pat Sharp from Funhouse.
Mice can use cats as horses.
You can stay in a bungalow but only if it's haunted & you're the same height as Kylie Minogue.
Indoors is outdoors on Shrove Tuesday. — joe heenan (@joeheenan) June 11, 2020
4. We’re questioning what preparations our leaders are actually making
This is genuinely how I envisage what the meetings look like prior to each Daily Briefing… pic.twitter.com/2yiz6LtKQs — Hannah O'Hanrahahanrahan (@buntyhoven) June 10, 2020
5. We can go outside, but do we want to?
Great that we’re allowed barbecues now… pic.twitter.com/OdPKPOYZku — VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) June 6, 2020
6. There may be some upsides to the coronavirus guidelines
So, if they opened the cinemas you'd have to leave two seats between each viewer meaning they couldn't 'whisper' to each other? And facemasks would mean they wouldn't be able to eat huge tubs of popcorn through the film? Not seeing a downside. — Lisa 'Unladylike' Holdsworth (@WorksWithWords) June 10, 2020
7. The report card is going to say “Could try harder”
Old enough to remember when "sick man of Europe" was a metaphor. https://t.co/izZPcSgfMm — Rafael Behr (@rafaelbehr) June 10, 2020
8. What happens if a straw man gets struck by lightning?
are they more likely to bring lightning home from school and accidentally kill their grandad with it though? https://t.co/fyCysSr6mN — Robyn Vinter (@RobynVinter) June 10, 2020
9. We’re going to be great at those ‘guess the celebrity from their eyes’ pub quiz rounds
I’ve been going outside more and I gotta say it’s good to see some familiar half-faces again. — Lloyd Rang (@lloydrang) June 10, 2020
10. Not all heroes wear capes – but they do wear masks
Now I be like “oh fuck i forgot my mask” like im spiderman or something — Neal Owusu (@neal_thatdude) June 9, 2020
READ MORE
What’s going on with the coronavirus? Our 11 favourite tweets
Image @vincent_keiman_nl on Unsplash, Very British Problems


thepoke--2020-06-12--This thread of Gary Neville ‘oohs’ getting longer and longer is just the content we needed today

We never thought we ’ d appreciate Gary Neville ’ s ‘ oohs ’ quite this much .
It ’ @ @ @ @ @ Man Utd player turned Sky Sports pundit ’ s ‘ oohs ’ getting longer and @ @ @ @ @ It ’ s very funny , posted by @ ProudieYT on Twitter .
No clicking @ @ @ @ @ one , though , got it ?

Twitter
We never thought we’d appreciate Gary Neville’s ‘oohs’ quite this much. It’s a thread of the Man Utd player turned Sky Sports pundit’s ‘oohs’ getting longer and longer … and longer.
It’s very funny, posted by @ProudieYT on Twitter. No clicking right through to the last one, though, got it?
1.
Gary Neville commentating and saying "ohhh" but every clip is him increasing the length of the "ohhh" [Thread] — ً (@ProudieYT) June 11, 2020
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
OOOOOH!
Now this is why I have twitter — j samuels (@j_samuels1212) June 11, 2020
READ MORE
This has been declared the worst 20 seconds of football ever played, and it’s hard to disagree
Source Twitter @ProudieYT Images screengrabs


thepoke--2020-06-12--This thread about a Captain America Covid-19 conspiracy theory is a wild ride

This is just a great thread by someone who was totally dismissive of a friend ’ s Covid-19 conspiracy theory @ @ @ @ @ 2011 movie , Captain America .
But there was something about it that he couldn @ @ @ @ @ and well , let @ whmullally , who posted the thread on Twitter , take @ @ @ @ @ here are just a few of the things people said after it went viral – @ @ @ @ @ .
This coronavirus conspiracy theory is like a tinfoil hatter ’ s greatest hits

Weird World
This is just a great thread by someone who was initially – and naturally – dismissive of a friend’s Covid-19 conspiracy theory linking the global pandemic to 2011 movie, Captain America.
But there was something about it that he couldn’t stop thinking about and well, let @whmullally, who posted the thread on Twitter, take up the story.
1.
2.
It looks so familiar. What is it? I began to investigate. pic.twitter.com/WRmtlaeDkK — William Mullally 🚮 (@whmullally) June 11, 2020
3.
At first I thought it reminded me of a YA novel cover design from that era. I went through all the main ones until I remembered the Divergent cover had the same color scheme, but not quite the same design. Close, but no cigar pic.twitter.com/XHYgyrOyM1 — William Mullally 🚮 (@whmullally) June 11, 2020
4.
I enlisted my friend Wes for help, who found a clearer screenshot and zoomed in and it felt even more familiar but we couldn’t quite place it. pic.twitter.com/Qe2Cx5G3q8 — William Mullally 🚮 (@whmullally) June 11, 2020
5.
I figured out the filming date of the scene—23 April 2011. pic.twitter.com/BdkpgGykiv — William Mullally 🚮 (@whmullally) June 11, 2020
6.
I looked up every movie and broadway show released from April through the summer. Nothing. pic.twitter.com/vBST41Xm6w — William Mullally 🚮 (@whmullally) June 11, 2020
7.
I started watching random YouTube videos and looking for images from April 2011 in Times Square. No clear view of the poster. Wes started scouring Bing and google street view. pic.twitter.com/wyPExDL1QB — William Mullally 🚮 (@whmullally) June 11, 2020
8.
Finally, Wes found this pic.twitter.com/5CGRWAb56t — William Mullally 🚮 (@whmullally) June 11, 2020
9.
We recognized the logo and the color scheme. We cracked the case. pic.twitter.com/VeOKPdxZNE — William Mullally 🚮 (@whmullally) June 11, 2020
10.
Boom!
And here are just a few of the things people said after it went viral – very viral – on Twitter.
You've done it! You've proven the flying spaghetti monster is behind it all! — Viral Spiral (@grailsnail) June 11, 2020
He has risen. Know his noodley goodness pic.twitter.com/TVVZyDwdh7 — Brandon Cabrera (@CabreraBear42) June 11, 2020
Incredible pay off here https://t.co/TKEOWrmJY8 — Liz Harvey (@_lizharvey) June 11, 2020
This thread just doubled my lifespan thank you pic.twitter.com/AOl3KETzbz — Omar Najam (@OmarNajam) June 11, 2020
READ MORE
This coronavirus conspiracy theory is like a tinfoil hatter’s greatest hits
Source @whmullally


thepoke--2020-06-12--‘Worn once to a wedding’

‘Worn once to a wedding’

‘ Worn once to a wedding , ’ says @ StateOfSelling over on Twitter .
Presumably he wasn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ s not rule anything out at this stage .
And similar but different come these @

Weird World
‘Worn once to a wedding,’ says @StateOfSelling over on Twitter.
Presumably he wasn’t the groom but let’s not rule anything out at this stage.
And similar but different come these.
Follow @StateOfSelling on Twitter here.
READ MORE
Customer complaint of the week
Source @StateofSelling


thepoke--2020-06-12--Some Hollywood celebrities made an anti-racism video and it went about as well as you’d expect

A bunch of Hollywood celebrities have done an anti-racism video and it ’ s fair to say not everyone appreciated @ @ @ @ @ t doubt their good intentions or the message behind it , obviously .
It ’ @ @ @ @ @ it , basically .
Have a watch for yourself .
And here are our favourite @ @ @ @ @ .
Oh , and this .
Gal Gadot ’ s celebrity quarantine choir went about @ @ @ @ @ d Imagine – 9 funniest reactions

Videos
A bunch of Hollywood celebrities have done an anti-racism video and it’s fair to say not everyone appreciated it.
You can’t doubt their good intentions or the message behind it, that goes without saying. It’s just everything else about it, basically. Have a watch for yourself.
regret to inform you the celebs are at it again pic.twitter.com/pfORBiqvrX — Marlow Stern (@MarlowNYC) June 11, 2020
The 2-minute video features people including – Google, Google – Aaron Paul, Sarah Paulson, Kesha, Kristen Bell, Justin Theroux, Debra Messing, Bryce Dallas Howard, Julianne Moore and Stanley Tucci.
And here are just some of the things people were saying about it.
they've been out of work for a few months and need to *ACT* — Marlow Stern (@MarlowNYC) June 11, 2020
you would think they would memorize their lines before their big scene…… — zack (@speculativegay) June 11, 2020
What are they auditioning for — Stone Cold Jane Austen (@AbbyHiggs) June 11, 2020
Ending Racism: The Musical — Marlow Stern (@MarlowNYC) June 11, 2020
when they do that bizzare actors cadence it makes the whole thing 200x more transparently performative — Tom (@TomAaargh) June 11, 2020
It's like great actors doing bad acting. Cringeworthy. — mariannegarvey (@garveyshuffle) June 11, 2020
Oh, and this.
Terrible lack of diversity in this video. https://t.co/TY7zZGVcjd — Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) June 11, 2020
Finally, this.
who will take responsibility for this video https://t.co/i1stBHRkcB — Nish Kumar (@MrNishKumar) June 11, 2020
READ MORE
Gal Gadot’s celebrity quarantine choir went about as well as you’d Imagine – 9 funniest reactions
Source @MarlowNYC


thepoke--2020-06-12--Donald Trump takedown of the day

Donald Trump takedown of the day

‘ Mega oof , ’ says AwesomeRider09 over on Reddit .
And there was also this , different line of @ @ @ @ @ of feeling .
Donald Trump invited a tweeter to play golf and the response was @ @ @ @

Twitter
‘Mega oof,’ says AwesomeRider09 over on Reddit.
And there was also this, different line of attack but with similar strength of feeling.
READ MORE
Donald Trump invited a tweeter to play golf and the response was a hole in one
Source Reddit AwesomeRider09


thepoke--2020-06-12--David Bowie asking MTV why they don’t play more black artists has gone viral all over again

For reasons which presumably won ’ t need explaining , this video of David Bowie asking MTV why they don @ @ @ @ @ artists has gone viral all over again .
It ’ s quite the watch , @ @ @ @ @ on Twitter .
And just some of the things people were saying about it .
@ @ @ @ @ he predicted the internet in 1999 .
This David Bowie quote was tweeted by his @ @ @ @ @ s making everyone think , maybe because it ’ s true

Videos
For reasons which presumably won’t need explaining, this video of David Bowie asking MTV why they don’t play more black artists has gone viral all over again.
It’s quite the watch, as shared by @motelsiren on Twitter.
thinking about this 1983 interview where David Bowie point blank period asks MTV why they don’t play Black artists pic.twitter.com/H36PQhqrNA — lauren milici (@motelsiren) June 11, 2020
And just some of the things people were saying about it.
When the interviewee becomes the interviewer. Well done job by Bowie getting him to admit what MTV was doing. — Robin DesCamp (@AskDesCamp) June 11, 2020
David Bowie. What a damn king he was. https://t.co/ACDqwysN7Z — PAIGE (@RealPaigeWWE) June 12, 2020
He was amazing. He nails the interviewer to the wall with such elegance when he says, “that’s very interesting.” — culpepperwilliams (@cwhello) June 11, 2020
https://twitter.com/Slangdini/status/1271291692730028033?s=20
thank you so much for posting this it’s a great clip but also it looks like i just found the source of my favorite reaction gif pic.twitter.com/ZutU4leY4b
— nikki justice (@nikkinoterica) June 11, 2020
https://twitter.com/jfreewright/status/1271219032742641664?s=20


thepoke--2020-06-12--Winston Churchill’s statue’s been boarded up – 17 resolutely non-serious things people said about it

There ’ s been no shortage of serious and furious – and often seriously furious – comment about the statue @ @ @ @ @ up over fears it could be vandalised this weekend .
Although , it has to @ @ @ @ @ s not the first time this sort of thing has happened , and Churchill is @ @ @ @ @ boarded up today .
Anyway , this is not the place for those comments .
@ @ @ @ @ stuff like this … Okay , this one does make a serious point .
Very @ @ @ @ @ a tweeter to play golf and the response was a hole in one

Twitter
There’s been no shortage of serious and furious – and often seriously furious – comment about the statue of Winston Churchill being boarded up over fears it could be vandalised this weekend.
Although, it has to be said, it’s not the first time this sort of thing has happened, and Churchill is not the only statue being boarded up today.
Anyway, this is not the place for those comments. This is the place for stuff like this …
1.
Imagine they took it off and David Blaine was inside pic.twitter.com/ljNujFyKFb — alistair green (@mralistairgreen) June 12, 2020
2.
Just pretend he’s going to the toilet https://t.co/TOQBJWgAYv — James Felton (@JimMFelton) June 12, 2020
3.
if Debbie McGee is on the plinth when the box is removed, that will be impressive pic.twitter.com/W7uOV7HtRu — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) June 12, 2020
4.
If this comes down and they’ve replaced it with a statue of Dominic Cummings it might be peak lockdown trolling. pic.twitter.com/n6LZcdOT4u — Jack Whitehall (@jackwhitehall) June 12, 2020
5.
Not sure they’ve got the face quite right. https://t.co/o7jYwnUNoz — Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) June 12, 2020
6.
Churchill has met his portaloo. pic.twitter.com/JI2s2K1F3Y — Dave Lee (@davelee1968) June 12, 2020
7.
Ah, the pencil I ordered from Amazon has arrived. pic.twitter.com/Clk6eLJI8m — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) June 12, 2020
8.
They could at least decorated it with some of his best quotes pic.twitter.com/2tVkSYB7AZ — HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) June 12, 2020
9.
This is just his pupa stage before he emerges as Mothra and fights Godzilla in Hyde Park https://t.co/iTNIC5z9gl — Greg Jenner: 'DEAD FAMOUS OUT NOW!' (@greg_jenner) June 12, 2020
10.
https://twitter.com/twlldun/status/1271364865169461248?s=20
11.
Not that any further comparison is needed: but while Boris Johnson bragged about shaking hands with coronavirus patients, Churchill is following the guidelines and self-isolating. pic.twitter.com/EEPqcbhKkc — Tom Peck (@tompeck) June 12, 2020
12.
Clever move by Boris Johnson, aligning Churchill to himself by hiding him in a fridge https://t.co/bSBrEcjwLD — PoliticsJOE (@PoliticsJOE_UK) June 12, 2020
13.
https://twitter.com/TwopTwips/status/1271409799020732416?s=20
14.
15.
Boris Johnson will be taking questions at this afternoon's Covid press conference pic.twitter.com/iJVsCmmCCm — HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) June 12, 2020
16.
What would be amazing is if the statue had actually been nicked and replaced by this box https://t.co/aVXl38A4kP — Jonn Elledge (@JonnElledge) June 12, 2020
17.
Okay, this one does make a serious point. Very serious.
a lump of bronze gets more ppe than healthcare workers, normal country https://t.co/bYaNS2FRKi — Astrid (@gee_astrid) June 12, 2020
READ MORE
Donald Trump invited a tweeter to play golf and the response was a hole in one
Image screengrab


thepoke--2020-06-12--Simply 25 of the funniest things we saw this week

Welcome to the Poke ’ s coronavirus-free joke zone .
Please wear your masks and stay at least two metres @ @ @ @ @ – unless they are part of your support bubble .

Pics
Welcome to the Poke’s coronavirus-free joke zone. Please wear your masks and stay at least two metres from anyone from other households – unless they are part of your support bubble.
Now wash your hands.
1.
i don't wanna brag but i'm so good at identifying traffic lights, crosswalks, and trees out of a set of nine pictures now — jack nye the stupid guy (@JackWilliamRtF) June 9, 2020
2.
when the moon hits your eye
like a latte with chai
pret a manger — Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) June 5, 2020
3.
I was waiting in line outside B&Q yesterday when a mate called and asked how big the queue was? I said ‘the same size as the B’ — Sean Goldsmith (@radiogoldsmith) June 7, 2020
4.
In France, a Royal Yacht is a normal yacht with a slice of cheese on top — Cromerty York – Voiceover With Own Studio & Cake (@Cromerty) June 8, 2020
5.
Pray for the viscountess pic.twitter.com/5G3zwdEC50 — Lucie Toblerone (@msloobylou) June 8, 2020
6.
I wish I’d seen this sign earlier; I’ve lost SO many dice games with squirrels. pic.twitter.com/guxPHjoZwO — Roy Manterfield (@MumblingNerd) June 7, 2020
7.
A clitoris has 8000 nerve endings and it’s still not as sensitive has a man with a sports avi, 17 followers and 🇺🇸 in their avi — Lauren Elizabeth (@yesimLAbaby) June 8, 2020
8.
Fucking hell, how fast was that rollercoaster going? pic.twitter.com/8aN4JR1qBe — Paul Eaton (@GannetPaul) June 9, 2020
9.
We are all lying in the gutter but some of us are looking at the kebab shop. — Paul (@bingowings14) June 8, 2020
10.
ME: [watching my young son on his toy phone] aww so cute he's pretending to call someone! SON: [under breath] it's done [hangs up] — Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) June 6, 2020
11.
Why do they call them firefighters and not Dennis Watermen? pic.twitter.com/6fOvk41vya — Jim Crowfoot (@CrowfootJim) June 5, 2020
12.


thepoke--2020-06-12--People have been musing on pandemic life – our 12  funny favourites

We ’ re three months into the UK lockdown and trying desperately to keep up with the rules .
They @ @ @ @ @ the stairs and going full Dominic Cummings , so it might be safer to just @ @ @ @ @ a cuppa and read some funny tweets about the whole thing .
Top 10 funny @ @ @ @ @ re all coping with the pandemic

Twitter
We’re three months into the UK lockdown and trying desperately to keep up with the rules.
They lie somewhere between hiding under the stairs and going full Dominic Cummings, so it might be safer to just have a sit down, a cuppa and read some funny tweets about the whole thing.
1.
Imagine at the start of 2020 if someone had told you to invest in hipster face masks, Zoom and statue salvage. — Richard Osman (@richardosman) June 10, 2020
2.
We're gonna have to retire the expression "avoid it like the plague" because it turns out humans do not do that — Jenny Nicholson (@JennyENicholson) June 12, 2020
3.
I think there should be some sort of government scheme during Covid where if you guess the day of the week correctly on the first try you should get a prize — Nicola Coughlan (@nicolacoughlan) June 11, 2020
4.
flatmate in the other room: why are you making bread again? me: seems like everyone is during lockdown, thought I'd give it a go duck *holding gun*: very good answer — Parker (@panoparker) June 11, 2020
5.
Can't recommend highly enough the economy rate of my 11 year old Ford Focus . Currently doing at least 3 weeks to the gallon. — mike selvey (@selvecricket) June 10, 2020
6.
Overheard: Oh, so you say “All lives matter.” Then you should wear your damn mask in the store. — George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) June 11, 2020
7.
This new Avril Lavigne song is a belter pic.twitter.com/eX4TZo4uYt — Matt Richardson (@MattRichardson3) June 11, 2020
8.
Matt Hancock has dragged along Dido to todays #dailybriefing
Tomorrow we get Grant Shapps with Susan Boyle — end of daves ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) June 11, 2020
9.
Just bought condoms and the cashier didn't try to hi-five me. Covid has changed the world — Pessimus Prime Minister (@BigJDubz) June 11, 2020
10.
11.
Social distancing at 36,000ft now possible…. 🙄 pic.twitter.com/qPMoH8FQm2 — CivMilAir ✈ (@CivMilAir) June 11, 2020
12.
I joined my local area group on FB. So far they just report on how long the queue is at the McDonald’s drive through. — Hayley Ellis (@Hayles_Ellis) June 11, 2020
READ MORE
Top 10 funny takes on how we’re all coping with the pandemic
Image Global News


thepoke--2020-06-12--A reminder that John Cleese predicted the rise of the Karens

The term ‘ Karen ’ has come to refer to a certain type of angry , entitled woman – the @ @ @ @ @ the manager for no good reason and Twitter storms over whether it is sexist will @ @ @ @ @ Although we ’ ve only noticed Karens over the last few years , it seems @ @ @ @ @ long before that .
Twitter was impressed by the Monty Python prescience .
Happily , @ @ @ @ @ their sense of humour removed .
Author Julie Bindel said calling people ‘ Karen ’ @ @ @ @ @ not the only 5 replies you need but they ’ re a start

Videos
The term ‘Karen’ has come to refer to a certain type of angry, entitled woman – the sort who asks to see the manager for no good reason and Twitter storms over whether it is sexist will likely rumble on forever.
Although we’ve only noticed Karens over the last few years, it seems John Cleese saw them coming long before that.
Never forget I was the first to study and warn you about the 'Karen.' Her evolution over the decades from ruining films to demanding to see a manager has been quite extraordinary. From my special How to Irritate People. #karen pic.twitter.com/0VKBaUy6Jg — John Cleese (@JohnCleese) June 10, 2020
Twitter was impressed by the Monty Python prescience.
Insight:
Karen isn't a new generational problem. It may be an ancient archetype of the insufferable woman.
A Karen got John the Baptist killed. https://t.co/ZRadz3flAf — Dr. Plasma's Whitepills 🇭🇰 (@plasmarob) June 11, 2020
John Cleese was ahead of the curve https://t.co/g6cSVtjIkv — Alex deCourville (@AlextheD) June 10, 2020
And you sir have won the universe with this 👌😆🤷♂ — Salem (@Salem06927700) June 10, 2020
Happily, not all Karens have had their sense of humour removed.
This has simply gone too far. Who do I speak to about this harassment? 🤣 https://t.co/y72SncE3GG — KarenClark (@karenrclark) June 10, 2020
READ MORE
Author Julie Bindel said calling people ‘Karen’ was sexist and classist – not the only 5 replies you need but they’re a start
Source John Cleese Image Monty Python


thepoke--2020-06-14--The Mail on Sunday asked what’s become of tolerant Britain and these 4 responses were in no doubt

You ’ ll no doubt have seen the terrible scenes in London yesterday where police were attacked by demonstrators , @ @ @ @ @ activists , and more than 100 people were arrested .
It got the Mail on @ @ @ @ @ become of Britain these days with a front page that asked this .
And while @ @ @ @ @ t say it all – what could ?
– they do say an awful lot @ @ @ @ @ they ( or anyone else ) needs a reminder , here are those front pages @ @ @ @ @ a little bit closer up .

News
You’ll have seen by now the terrible scenes in London yesterday where police were attacked by demonstrators, many of whom were far-right activists, and more than 100 people were arrested.
It got the Mail on Sunday wondering what’s become of ‘the tolerant Britain we love’ with a front page that asked this.
And while these four responses don’t say it all – what could? – they do say an awful lot.
Absolutely no idea pic.twitter.com/BJJP4mgC0K — James Felton (@JimMFelton) June 13, 2020
"Who killed all the chickens?" asked the fox with feathers in its mouth. pic.twitter.com/FrfyGKnL1W — Richard Littler (@richard_littler) June 13, 2020
https://twitter.com/dannywallace/status/1271914861547618311?s=20
And just in case they (or anyone else) needs a reminder, here are those front pages shared by @jimmfelton just a little bit closer up.
To conclude …
‘What HAS become of the tolerant Britain we love?’ asks one of the most intolerant, rabble-rousing newspapers on the market. pic.twitter.com/eLKZ9teNiV — Tim Walker (@ThatTimWalker) June 13, 2020
Image screengrab @VinnieoDowd


thepoke--2020-06-13--Blue Peter tackled racism and it went viral because it was so brilliantly done

Blue Peter tackled racism this week for reasons which won ’ t need explaining here and it went viral because @ @ @ @ @ .
Have a watch for yourself .
It ’ s two minutes very well spent @ @ @ @ @ quite extraordinary , you might think , that they managed to do it so much @ @ @ @ @ so-called world leaders ( depending on what you think of the politicians and ‘ world @ @ @ @ @ .
This old Blue Peter clip of Lesley Judd on an electric horse is tickling @ @ @ @ @ some reason

Videos
Blue Peter tackled racism this week for reasons which won’t need explaining here and it went viral because it was so brilliantly done.
Have a watch for yourself. It’s two minutes very well spent.
This is fantastic. Full marks to the Blue Peter team. This would never have happened when I was a kid – the world would have been a better place today if it had. pic.twitter.com/doA4NuMSyP — Barnaby Edwards (@BarnabyEdwards) June 12, 2020
And it’s quite extraordinary, you might think, that they managed to do it so much better than certain politicians and so-called world leaders (depending on what you think of the politicians and ‘world leaders’, obviously).
https://twitter.com/dannywallace/status/1271506065339961344?s=20
Just the actual best https://t.co/QQNgPwRLX7 — Lauren Laverne (@laurenlaverne) June 12, 2020
Blue Peter is more grown up than half the media https://t.co/Al9Cc4gQ00 — Gavin Curnow (@GavinCurnow) June 12, 2020
READ MORE
This old Blue Peter clip of Lesley Judd on an electric horse is tickling people’s fancy for some reason
Source @BarnabyEdwards @CBBC


thepoke--2020-06-13--Only 4 responses you need to today’s Daily Mail’s front page about Winston Churchill’s statue

It ’ s fair to say the Daily Mail is angry – really angry – that the statue of Winston @ @ @ @ @ ahead of protests in London this weekend .
It ’ s not the first time @ @ @ @ @ neither is it the only statue that ’ s been boarded up , but it @ @ @ @ @ the Mail is particularly excited about .
And here are the only 4 responses you @ @ @ @ @ was this , from the Express .
Just in case anyone ’ s still in @ @ @ @ @ ’ s statue ’ s been boarded up – 17 resolutely non-serious things people said @ @

News
It’s fair to say the Daily Mail is angry – really angry – that the statue of Winston Churchill has been boarded up ahead of protests in London this weekend.
It’s not the first time this has happened, and neither is it the only statue that’s been boarded up, but it’s this one that the Mail is particularly excited about.
And here are the only 4 responses you need.
And we've gone full circle: a campaign that began in protest at the murder of an actual black man and moved onto concern about the enslavement and murder of millions, is reduced to what happens to a piece of stone that has been covered up briefly. pic.twitter.com/zExngsxylu — Sathnam Sanghera (@Sathnam) June 12, 2020
It’s a fucking statue you weird freaks. Set our greatest hero free? What do you think he’s gonna do? Run off to the rest of the Churchills in the forest? pic.twitter.com/vyu2lQOVwp — Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) June 12, 2020
Pandemic kills 60,000
Economy crashes 20%
But we’re reduced to this: pic.twitter.com/JcWsL2aQJg — Paul Johnson (@paul__johnson) June 12, 2020
Do the Mail think he’s trapped in there like Han Solo pic.twitter.com/1VIhiwcDjw — James Felton (@JimMFelton) June 12, 2020
Similar but different was this, from the Express.
he’s literally been entombed for 55 years pic.twitter.com/qMGJmXsgpc — Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) June 12, 2020
Just in case anyone’s still in any doubt.
(He’s not actually alive in that box) https://t.co/fnF3LWXhzf — Stig Abell (@StigAbell) June 12, 2020
READ MORE
Winston Churchill’s statue’s been boarded up – 17 resolutely non-serious things people said about it


thepoke--2020-06-15--People have been sharing perfectly punny business names – our 18 favourites

Certain businesses seem to be prone to punny names .
Who hasn ’ t seen a hairdressers called “ A @ @ @ @ @ example ?
Voice artist , Jayne Sharp , had an idea for an enterprising chip @ @ @ @ @ got people thinking , and a lot of them chimed in with punny business names @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
Certain businesses seem to be prone to punny names. Who hasn’t seen a hairdressers called “A Cut Above“, for example?
Voice artist, Jayne Sharp, had an idea for an enterprising chip shop owner.
Is there a chippy called ‘Cod Loves A Fryer’ because if there isn’t then why are we even bothering? — Jayne Sharp (@Jaynesharp) June 14, 2020
Her suggestion got people thinking, and a lot of them chimed in with punny business names they’d seen.
1.
I'm all about hairdressers. Crops and Bobbers, Clippetty doo-dah and, my personal fave- Scissors Palace — Dom Joly (@domjoly) June 14, 2020
2.
There's the Chipping Forecast in Soho if that helps. — wilma Mowbray (@w_mowbray) June 14, 2020
3.
4.
I know there is one called Frying Nemo — scott (@scottschendel83) June 14, 2020
5.
Chip shop near Bosworth field. pic.twitter.com/lOTehYE1Ix — Ken Frew (@FccKen) June 14, 2020
6.
There are a couple of these in Treorchy and Ton Pentre pic.twitter.com/kemUuLTbTt — y=mx+c is my favourite one-liner (@ManFromTex) June 14, 2020
7.
Not far from where James Herriot worked pic.twitter.com/lk8yTuH95c — Hippydave74 (@Hippydave74) June 14, 2020
8.
The takeaway near where I live is called Wok and Roll 😄 — Helen Thomas (@HelenT_26) June 14, 2020
9.


thepoke--2020-06-15--19 of the most weird and wonderful things people have ordered while drunk

Being stuck indoors inevitably means more opportunities for drunk online shopping .
Sometimes it ’ s useful , if quirky , like this face mask .
Sometimes it ’ s really not useful , like the 200 super balls someone drunk-ordered and ended up giving away .
These other drunk purchases can probably be placed at various points along the sublime to ridiculous scale .
Who hasn ’ t had a skinful and realised their Latin isn ’ t as good as it should be ?
The best shower curtain of all time What dog about town wouldn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ supply of Irish oatmeal and marshmallow pieces The pug version of Chairman Mao – in cushion form Possibly the most terrifying Joker mask ever made It ’ s always good to take up a new hobby When drunk , people tend not to check the size guide Well , it has been quite rainy Mark your possessions with these unusual cat stickers Leave it in the box – it might be worth something 500 iris bulbs the buyer didn ’ t have space for Everybody needs a plush Waluigi – probably Sometimes @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , like the object shared on Reddit by u/junta79 , who added this : Do you know what it is ?
If you don ’ t , have a guess then click through to see if you were right .

Pics
Being stuck indoors inevitably means more opportunities for drunk online shopping.
Sometimes it’s useful, if quirky, like this face mask.
Via
Sometimes it’s really not useful, like the 200 super balls someone drunk-ordered and ended up giving away.
Via
These other drunk purchases can probably be placed at various points along the sublime to ridiculous scale.
1.
Kaleidoscope goggles – obviously
Via
2.
Who hasn’t had a skinful and realised their Latin isn’t as good as it should be?
Via
3.
This very handy *checks notes* sausage stuffer
Via
4.
A Rihanna T-shirt
Via
5.
The best shower curtain of all time
Via
6.
A screaming stuffed monkey full of surgical tubing
Via
7.
What dog about town wouldn’t want a bow-tie?
Via
8.
A few months’ supply of Irish oatmeal and marshmallow pieces
Via
9.
The pug version of Chairman Mao – in cushion form
Via
10.
Possibly the most terrifying Joker mask ever made
Via
11.
It’s always good to take up a new hobby
Via
12.
When drunk, people tend not to check the size guide
Via
13.
Well, it has been quite rainy
Via
14.
This fine portrait of Danny DeVito
Via
15.
Mark your possessions with these unusual cat stickers
Via
16.
Leave it in the box – it might be worth something
Via
17.
500 iris bulbs the buyer didn’t have space for
Via
18.
Everybody needs a plush Waluigi – probably
Via
19.
“Buy vinyl” they said, “It’s cool”
Via
Sometimes, a drunk purchase is a mystery, like the object shared on Reddit by u/junta79, who added this:
“So, my wife apparently drunk purchased this for me the other night and now can’t remember what it’s for.“
Via
Do you know what it is? If you don’t, have a guess then click through to see if you were right.


thepoke--2020-06-15--This cat’s impressive eating technique is giving people goals

Lawyer and Twitter user , Luke in Philadelphia , has shared a clip of two of his cats sharing a @ @ @ @ @ one of them – Guinness the tabby – is making sure to get the lion @ @ @ @ @ pretty unusual eating technique .
The tweet went viral and has been viewed more than @ @ @ @ @ than two days , as well as being retweeted almost 180,000 times .
Here ’ @ @ @ @ @ have been saying about it .
If you were at all concerned about Guinness ’ @ @ @ @ @ be .
He ’ s a fine figure of a feline .
We can ’ @ @ @ @ @

Videos
Lawyer and Twitter user, Luke in Philadelphia, has shared a clip of two of his cats sharing a bowl of food, only one of them – Guinness the tabby – is making sure to get the lion’s share with a pretty unusual eating technique.
what in the world kind of pig cat eats like this pic.twitter.com/q1LojIN6bY — Luke in Philadelphia (@tramL116) June 13, 2020
The tweet went viral and has been viewed more than seven million times in less than two days, as well as being retweeted almost 180,000 times.
Here’s some of what people have been saying about it.
Behold, my spirit animal https://t.co/fkNmxcSsZU — Cats Against Humanity™ (@CatsVsHumanity) June 15, 2020
This cat is incredible.
Goals. https://t.co/uOFdqfzeGn — Caro Sheridan (@splityarn) June 14, 2020
The black cat is like "ok Carl wtf" — Toxicus Ingenium #BLM (@ToxNox8694) June 14, 2020
If you were at all concerned about Guinness’ physique – don’t be. He’s a fine figure of a feline.
people are suggesting that I try “portion control” and even implying that my cat is “overweight” when he is obviously very skinny and perfect pic.twitter.com/8gVGypEJx3 — Luke in Philadelphia (@tramL116) June 14, 2020
Features Editor, Jessica Banov, thought the cat’s jaw action looked familiar.
Giving hungry hungry hippos a bad name. https://t.co/nPU03lSQdV — Jessica Banov (@jessicabanov) June 14, 2020
We can’t argue with that.
via Gfycat
READ MORE
A cat in a monkey suit eating a banana
Source Luke in Philadelphia Image Luke in Philadelphia


thepoke--2020-06-15--Nigel Farage plans to relaunch the Brexit Party – our 9 favourite takedowns

Just a few days after losing his LBC show , Nigel Farage has announced plans to relaunch the Brexit Party @ @ @ @ @ which he holds eight of the fifteen available shares .
While Farage insists the move @ @ @ @ @ , they are only now in talks with a publicity company .
The reason given @ @ @ @ @ party , which has been trailing far behind most others in polls , is that @ @ @ @ @ of Brexit .
Both the news of the relaunch and the reason given were subject @ @ @ @ @ scepticism .
These were our favourite reactions .
If you were wondering just how badly @ @ @ @ @ has been , here ’ s the latest result .
Farage might need to get @ @ @ @ @ only 6 reactions you need to the Brexit Party MEP ’ s Brexit lightbulb moment

Twitter
Just a few days after losing his LBC show, Nigel Farage has announced plans to relaunch the Brexit Party – the limited company of which he holds eight of the fifteen available shares.
While Farage insists the move has been planned for months, they are only now in talks with a publicity company.
The reason given for the comeback of the party, which has been trailing far behind most others in polls, is that Boris Johnson has lost control of Brexit.
Excellent news for racists who want to shell out another 25 quid each again for the Puce Goose's vanity project. Nigel Farage to RELAUNCH Brexit Party claiming Boris 'losing control' of exit https://t.co/EjNQEc0Ztx — Chris Addison (@mrchrisaddison) June 14, 2020
Both the news of the relaunch and the reason given were subject to quite a lot of scepticism.
These were our favourite reactions.
1.
"Okay, those last five bottles of snake oil you sold me made my hair fall out, gave me dropsy, partially blinded me, grew me a vestigial tail and induced shingles, but I'll buy one more bottle." https://t.co/JM6EKFZfZW — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) June 14, 2020
2.
Short of banning paella or blowing up the Channel Tunnel it's hard to imagine what Johnson could have done to provide a harder Brexit, but sure, off you go Nigel, important to get the attention. https://t.co/o7niMztK8j — Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) June 14, 2020
3.
Translation – recently unemployed man restarts get rich quick scheme. https://t.co/dL1RLWMDzL — Graham Lithgow (@grahamlithgow) June 14, 2020
4.
Only a desperate cynic would suggest that Farage is relaunching the Brexit Party because he's just been sacked by LBC pic.twitter.com/LRgOTLXRtw — Otto English (@Otto_English) June 14, 2020
5.
Fourth horseman shows up at last https://t.co/dxoEQFl255 — John Harris (@johnharris1969) June 14, 2020
6.
A decade from now, Farage will establish the Church of the Immaculate Brexit https://t.co/IGOtbPWdxc — Jonathan Eyal (@JEyal_RUSI) June 14, 2020
7.
Just cut out the middle-man and start a Patreon, dickhead. https://t.co/MkWdezvUZu — John Rain CBE (@MrKenShabby) June 14, 2020
8.
As inspiring as Police Academy III: Back in Training https://t.co/b4oGSWsqDM — Alexander Clarkson (@APHClarkson) June 14, 2020
9.
Grifters gotta grift https://t.co/5uDjVC4eLe — John Bull (@garius) June 14, 2020
If you were wondering just how badly the party’s polling has been, here’s the latest result.
It’s hard to remember that just over a year ago the Brexit Party and the Lib Dems had both led our Westminster voting intention polls, relegating the Tories and Labour into third place #thisisnotnormal pic.twitter.com/8Zp3Hpv04w — YouGov (@YouGov) June 12, 2020
Farage might need to get a real job.
READ MORE
The only 6 reactions you need to the Brexit Party MEP’s Brexit lightbulb moment
Image Telegraph screengrab


thepoke--2020-06-15--“British media reporting on the ‘Far-Right’ protests this weekend”

If you thought you detected some disparities in the way the protests in London were reported in the media this @ @ @ @ @ t the only one .
The excellent Munya Chawawa put together this rundown of how @ @ @ @ @ hit the sweet spot with Twitter .
It wasn ’ t Barty Crease ’ s @ @ @ @ @ he is with a previous Black Lives Matter bulletin .
Tommy Robinson ’ s own @ @ @ @ @ again ) in this hilarious sketch

Videos
If you thought you detected some disparities in the way the protests in London were reported in the media this weekend, you weren’t the only one.
The excellent Munya Chawawa put together this rundown of how that went.
British media reporting on the ‘Far-Right’ protests this weekend.🗞🙃 #protests pic.twitter.com/Hqcs0C1D4D — Munya Chawawa (@munyachawawa) June 14, 2020
His report hit the sweet spot with Twitter.
NOOOO I’M CREASING AGAIN — jack rem x (@jackremmington) June 14, 2020
Lost it at "What's the time Mr Wolf", what a reference https://t.co/2oRWBxgJwH — Nick Walker (@nickw84) June 14, 2020
It wasn’t Barty Crease’s first news update. Here he is with a previous Black Lives Matter bulletin.
British media reporting on the Black Lives Matter protests tomorrow. 🗞🤦🏽♂ pic.twitter.com/yHQqmkDcnk — Munya Chawawa (@munyachawawa) June 7, 2020
READ MORE
Tommy Robinson’s own words used against him (again) in this hilarious sketch
Source Munya Chawawa Image Munya Chawawa


thepoke--2020-06-15--The only 5 reactions you need to Peter Hitchens complaining about social-distancing measures

Mail on Sunday columnist , Peter Hitchens , wasn ’ t having a good Sunday morning , by the look @ @ @ @ @ which he had a good old moan about the injustice of *checks notes* having to @ @ @ @ @ in a shop , which is for everybody ’ s safety .
Correction : The @ @ @ @ @ outdoors as well , though still for the purposes of helping people avoid a deadly @ @ @ @ @ comedy writer , Jim Felton , reminded him of the reason for the sign .
@ @ @ @ @ a “ Hurray for Hitchens ” on Thursday to mark how he had to walk @ @ @ @ @ he picked out cheese .
Peter Hitchens did an Ed Balls – and we don @ @ @ @ @ on Strictly

Twitter
Mail on Sunday columnist, Peter Hitchens, wasn’t having a good Sunday morning, by the look of this tweet, in which he had a good old moan about the injustice of *checks notes* having to keep to a one-way system in a shop, which is for everybody’s safety.
Correction: The arrow system in Oxford is outdoors as well, though still for the purposes of helping people avoid a deadly virus.
Oxford this morning. Stand there. Do this. Wear that. Wait here. Stay home. Now they tell us which way to walk. pic.twitter.com/yv2J92beCJ — Peter Hitchens (@ClarkeMicah) June 14, 2020
Let’s hope he wasn’t expecting sympathy from Twitter.
1.
Peter Hitchens: Natural enemy of Aerosmith and Run DMC. https://t.co/G9YOEYSeF0 — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) June 14, 2020
2.
I feel your pain, man. Here in Ireland they've put contraptions on almost every street corner, and if the red light is on you have to stop.
Is this the kind of "freedom" for which our patriot dead gave their lives? https://t.co/YpJTbQVmWR — Gene Kerrigan (@GeneKerrigan) June 14, 2020
3.
Spare a moment from burying your dead and dodging fascist hit squads to sympathise with poor Peter Hitchens, who saw a sign on the floor. 😢 https://t.co/XjvghHEzcC — Dr Louise Raw (@LouiseRawAuthor) June 14, 2020
4.
How did you even pass a driving test? Or were one-way streets not a thing when you crawled out of the primordial ooze? (Hint: one-way streets are about driver safety. These new markings are about *your* safety. If you can’t grasp this, you’re too dumb not to die of plague.) https://t.co/hObBHg3CX0 — Charlie Stross (@cstross) June 14, 2020
5.
Peter Hitchens is going to be furious if he goes for a drive, especially when he's told to turn left. https://t.co/bo8xoD1gNo pic.twitter.com/qkxURc7vOL — Stuart Macintosh (@stueymaco) June 14, 2020
Best-selling author and comedy writer, Jim Felton, reminded him of the reason for the sign.
There’s a pandemic on, Peter. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) June 14, 2020
There’ll probably be a “Hurray for Hitchens” on Thursday to mark how he had to walk in a specific direction as he picked out cheese.
READ MORE
Peter Hitchens did an Ed Balls – and we don’t mean he appeared on Strictly
Source Peter Hitchens Image Peter Hitchens, John Anderson screengrab


thepoke--2020-06-14--Danny Wallace had the best take on the violent protests in London on Saturday

You ’ ll no doubt have seen by now the horrendous footage of protestors , many of them from the @ @ @ @ @ police in London on Saturday , with more than 100 people arrested .
It prompted @ @ @ @ @ – obviously – and these in particular stood out .
But we think our favourite @ @ @ @ @ @ dannywallace .
Having said that , last word goes to Sue Perkins .
The @ @ @ @ @ ’ s become of tolerant Britain – only 4 responses you need

Twitter
You’ll no doubt have seen by now the horrendous footage of protestors, many of them from the far right, clashing with police in London on Saturday, with more than 100 people arrested.
It prompted lots of comment on Twitter – obviously – and these in particular stood out.
A stroke of genius cancelling the BLM protest. It gave the far-right centre stage to reveal who they are without any ambiguity of who was fighting who, who started what, and us having to hear about the 'good people on both sides' nonsense from leaders. — Richard Littler (@richard_littler) June 13, 2020
Nazi salutes while protecting a statue of Churchill takes some galactic level of stupidity. — Stig Abell (@StigAbell) June 13, 2020
Don't both sides this. They are not morally equivalent. The vandalism committed on Black Lives Matter protests, whether you approve of it or not, was in a campaign for equal rights for all. The violence today is for white supremacy. — Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) June 13, 2020
A while ago I thought up the word cuntbonanza but never thought I’d find a use for it. Thanks everyone who travelled to London today. — Romesh Ranganathan (@RomeshRanga) June 13, 2020
They’re doing nazi salutes at the cenotaph. Despite the statues teaching them all the history they need to know, I think they might be a tad confused. pic.twitter.com/ZRAKF7utMQ — James Felton (@JimMFelton) June 13, 2020
But we think our favourite might be this, from @dannywallace.
I don't understand. – Police are protecting a statue from people who want to protect it from people who don't seem to be there.
– Meanwhile the man who stopped us all from having to salute like a Nazi is celebrated by men doing Nazi salutes. I mean, it's very 2020, but still. — Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) June 13, 2020
Having said that, last word goes to Sue Perkins.
A big fuck you to all the Nazis out there today — Sue Perkins (@sueperkins) June 13, 2020
READ MORE
The Mail on Sunday asked what’s become of tolerant Britain – only 4 responses you need
Source @dannywallace Image @dansabbagh screengrab


thepoke--2020-06-14--David Attenborough commentating on this clip of Donald Trump on a ramp is just perfect

You may already have watched the clip of Donald Trump being very , very careful walking down a ramp at @ @ @ @ @ lots of people talking about it , as you might imagine , and now @ @ @ @ @ @ Attenborough commentary over the top of it and it ’ s absolute perfection .
Beautifully @ @ @ @ @ the interests of balance and all that , here ’ s what Trump had to @ @ @ @ @ Mr President !
It ’ s not normally big or clever to make fun of @ @ @ @ @ but in his case , obviously , the world makes an exception .
The Mail @ @ @ @ @ s become of tolerant Britain – only 4 responses you need

Videos
You may already have watched the clip of Donald Trump being very, very careful walking down a ramp at the weekend.
Trump descended a ramp extremely carefully at the end of his West Point speech today pic.twitter.com/uMG3KyB1V1 — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) June 13, 2020
It got lots of people talking about it, as you might imagine, and now @skolanach has put a David Attenborough commentary over the top of it and it’s absolute perfection.
Donald Trump narrated by Sir David Attenborough #TrumpIsNotWell pic.twitter.com/iaOWApFdQp — ElElegante101 (@skolanach) June 14, 2020
Beautifully done! And just in the interests of balance and all that, here’s what Trump had to say later.
The ramp that I descended after my West Point Commencement speech was very long & steep, had no handrail and, most importantly, was very slippery. The last thing I was going to do is “fall” for the Fake News to have fun with. Final ten feet I ran down to level ground. Momentum! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 14, 2020
Righto, Mr President! It’s not normally big or clever to make fun of someone’s appearance, but in his case, obviously, the world makes an exception.
If you watch one thing all day watch this, sound up. LOL. #TrumpIsNotWell
pic.twitter.com/UQfwNNKrG9 — Faceless Vegan🏳🌈🇨🇦✊🏿 (@faceless_vegan) June 14, 2020
READ MORE
The Mail on Sunday asked what’s become of tolerant Britain – only 4 responses you need
Source @skolanach H/T @faceless_vegan


thepoke--2020-06-14--The Mail on Sunday asked what’s become of tolerant Britain and these replies were in no doubt

You ’ ll have seen by now the terrible scenes in London yesterday where police were attacked by demonstrators , @ @ @ @ @ activists , and more than 100 people were arrested .
It got the Mail on @ @ @ @ @ become of ‘ the tolerant Britain we love ’ with a front page that asked @ @ @ @ @ four responses don ’ t say it all – what could ?
– they do @ @ @ @ @ And just in case they ( or anyone else ) needs a reminder , here @ @ @ @ @ by @ jimmfelton just a little bit closer up .


thepoke--2020-06-16--Spare a thought for the artist who made this infographic of non-essential jobs

Singapore ’ s Sunday Times conducted a survey to find out which jobs people thought were essential and decidedly non-essential @ @ @ @ @ : There ’ s one obvious problem with that marvellous infographic .
In fact , @ @ @ @ @ go down well at all .
These requests for artists to work for no money @ @ @

Pics
Singapore’s Sunday Times conducted a survey to find out which jobs people thought were essential and decidedly non-essential.
This was the result:
Ashley Tan via The Sunday Times
There’s one obvious problem with that marvellous infographic.
thinking about the artist who had to design this ST infographic pic.twitter.com/paAGOPYjhC — YEOLO™ (@tzehern_) June 14, 2020
they had to commission an artist to make this pic.twitter.com/qJjBoxxLAS — Jeremy Nguyen (@jeremywins) June 15, 2020
In fact, the results didn’t go down well at all.
My dad was a welder, when I was 16 I told him I wanted to be an artist expecting the “not a real job” talk. He said “ everything you can see, hold , buy and enjoy has been designed by someone, even trees are planted due to a plan. You’ll do just fine” https://t.co/QcF8Au8ywe — ✨Sonny Ross ✨ (@sonnyrossdraws) June 15, 2020
Who the hell thinks telemarketers are more essential than artists?? — Cat the Cat (@nekothekitty) June 15, 2020
This country still has a long way to go in terms of the appreciation and critical understanding of the arts and it’s role in society. Long, long way to go. pic.twitter.com/l50vGbfQ3Z — Mr. H (@asonofapeach) June 14, 2020
Robert Ronny made this very good point.
This is a survey in Singapore..
71 % said Artists are the least essential job right now..
But honestly..can you survived this pandemic without all the songs.. the films that accompany you during the lock down? Can you keep your sanity?
I rest my case..https://t.co/TvUMxdaXg3 — Robert Ronny (@robertronny) June 15, 2020
Unimaginable.
READ MORE
These requests for artists to work for no money are truly outrageous
Source Mothership Image Mothership, @themephotos on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-06-16--“How to Lincoln” – another brilliant lip-synch from Sarah Cooper

As mass protests against systemic racism raged across the US – and elsewhere – Donald Trump had this astonishing take @ @ @ @ @ from What GIFs via Gfycat Moving on …lip-synch genius Sarah Cooper turned her attention to @ @ @ @ @ times , in fact , but we picked the first one .
We don ’ @ @ @ @ @ it , but she manages to lay bare the President ’ s inner thoughts every @ @ @ @ @ Julian Velard seems bang on the money .
Now , go and watch the other @ @ @

Videos
As mass protests against systemic racism raged across the US – and elsewhere – Donald Trump had this astonishing take on his own presidency.
Trump: I think I’ve done more for the black community than any other President and let’s take a pass on Abraham Lincoln because he did good but although it’s always questionable, you know in other words the end result
Harris: Well we are free Mr. President pic.twitter.com/advWPuSKwv — Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) June 12, 2020
from What GIFs via Gfycat
Moving on …lip-synch genius Sarah Cooper turned her attention to the baffling statement – three times, in fact, but we picked the first one.
How to Lincoln pic.twitter.com/zerw0PVs9x — Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) June 14, 2020
We don’t know how she does it, but she manages to lay bare the President’s inner thoughts every time.
Here’s how Twitter reacted.
National treasure. I love her so much. 👇🏻 https://t.co/7c34xEGhzu — Molly Jong-Fast🏡 (@MollyJongFast) June 14, 2020
The two-handed water glass at the end, I mean… #SarahCooperFanClub https://t.co/cbR1QWCdxI — Eric McCormack (@EricMcCormack) June 15, 2020
This comment from Julian Velard seems bang on the money.
Outside of a cultural awakening, @sarahcpr may be the greatest piece of Trump’s legacy. https://t.co/p41RJSB95s — Julian Velard (@julianvelard) June 15, 2020
Now, go and watch the other two versions.
READ MORE
“How to bunker” – Sarah Cooper nails Trump’s weird excuse for hiding
Source Sarah Cooper Image Sarah Cooper


thepoke--2020-06-16--Senator Ted Cruz tried to get actor Ron Perlman to fight a congressman – because 2020

Just when you thought American politics couldn ’ t get any stranger , Senator Ted Cruz tried to get actor @ @ @ @ @ a fight – with Republican Representative Jim Jordan , a former college wrestler and coach @ @ @ @ @ this one goes all over the place .
It started when Florida Representative Matt Gaetz @ @ @ @ @ NFL ’ s decision to allow players to take the knee during the national anthem @ @ @ @ @ ’ s response .
The language from here onward is definitely not safe for work @ @ @ @ @ misunderstand the concept of acting .
It also earned him this burn from comedian Joe @ @ @ @ @ lot more to the battle of wits , in which only the Hellboy actor appeared @ @ @ @ @ .
Things took an even more baffling turn when Senator Ted Cruz stepped in to @ @ @ @ @ My big brother can beat you up.
” Vibes from the Senator .
He probably @ @ @ @ @ it .

Popular
Just when you thought American politics couldn’t get any stranger, Senator Ted Cruz tried to get actor Ron Perlman to agree to a fight – with Republican Representative Jim Jordan, a former college wrestler and coach.
Strap yourselves in – this one goes all over the place.
It started when Florida Representative Matt Gaetz shared his thoughts on the NFL’s decision to allow players to take the knee during the national anthem.
I’d rather the US not have a soccer team than have a soccer team that won’t stand for the National Anthem. You shouldn’t get to play under our flag as our national team if you won’t stand when it is raised. — Matt Gaetz (@mattgaetz) June 11, 2020
This was Ron Perlman’s response. The language from here onward is definitely not safe for work.
The US Soccer team called and you guessed it… said they couldn’t give any less of a fuck about what you two dipshits think. @realDonaldTrump @mattgaetz — Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 13, 2020
Gaetz seemed to completely misunderstand the concept of acting.
This racial justice warrior had no problem in Hollywood portraying the White Supremacist leader of a motorcycle gang. #SOA https://t.co/mKUFz4y5ru — Matt Gaetz (@mattgaetz) June 14, 2020
This riposte drew metaphorical blood.
Yessir, so true! So rewarding playing assholes on tv. Tell me sir, how is it actually being one? https://t.co/8Yk4lXvyAI — Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 14, 2020
It also earned him this burn from comedian Joe Heenan.
Wait till he finds out William Shatner has never been in outer space pic.twitter.com/Z9Yjds7yBd — joe heenan (@joeheenan) June 14, 2020
There was a lot more to the battle of wits, in which only the Hellboy actor appeared to have turned up armed.
Like this:
Speaking of Woke Matty, do you think it’s just Hollywood that thinks you’re an asshole? Read the comments, I’ll wait… https://t.co/gUg6buUQ7t — Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 14, 2020
And this:
PS: You’re lucky for this guy Matt. If it weren’t for him you’d be the ugliest politician walking. @mattgaetz pic.twitter.com/uUgUDKHgZA — Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 15, 2020
Things took an even more baffling turn when Senator Ted Cruz stepped in to defend Gaetz.
Listen Hellboy. You talk good game when you’ve got Hollywood makeup & stuntmen. But I’ll bet $10k—to the nonpolitical charity of your choice—that you couldn’t last 5 min in the wrestling ring w/ @Jim_Jordan w/o getting pinned. You up for it? Or does your publicist say too risky? https://t.co/eRerYVe5kj — Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) June 15, 2020
Strong “My big brother can beat you up.” Vibes from the Senator. He probably should have kept out of it.
Wait, is this THEE Ted Cruz? Holy shit man! Is this the same guy let little Donnie call his wife A dog and his father an assassin and now kisses his ass? Yo, can I get your autograph man? https://t.co/6QDwCaEkpv — Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 15, 2020


thepoke--2020-06-16--Dominic Raab claims the scientists are too busy to come to the daily briefing – 8 unfavourable peer

Dominic Raab claims the scientists are too busy to come to the daily briefing – 8 unfavourable peer reviews

Until recently , Downing Street coronavirus briefings featured one or two scientific advisers .
They were able to present in-depth @ @ @ @ @ the politician dealt with policy .
However , some of the scientific advisers have gone @ @ @ @ @ differed from the official position of the government , like this from Professor Jonathan Van @ @ @ @ @ widely believed to pass judgement on Chief Spad , Dominic Cummings .
Professor Van Tam @ @ @ @ @ that day , and other scientists have followed a similar route .
The i newspaper @ @ @ @ @ the issue at Monday ’ s briefing .
Neither were these people .
This response @ @ @ @ @ people are concerned about the absence of scientific advisers at the briefings .
Boris Johnson @ @ @ @ @ control ’ of the coronavirus crisis and the entire internet had the same question

News
Until recently, Downing Street coronavirus briefings featured one or two scientific advisers. They were able to present in-depth answers to medical questions while the politician dealt with policy.
However, some of the scientific advisers have gone rogue, giving opinions that differed from the official position of the government, like this from Professor Jonathan Van Tam.
Prof Van Tam showing the backbone that we have desperately needed to see over the past week “In my opinion the rules are clear and they have always been clear…they are for the benefit of all…and they apply to all” Please RT if you agree with himpic.twitter.com/9Xdlp4wk7N — NHS Million (@NHSMillion) May 30, 2020
The comment was widely believed to pass judgement on Chief Spad, Dominic Cummings. Professor Van Tam hasn’t appeared since that day, and other scientists have followed a similar route.
The i newspaper’s Jane Merrick raised the issue at Monday’s briefing.
Where are the scientists?
– @janemerrick23
– Dominic Raab checks his notes
-'They will attend. Perhaps not on a daily basis they've got a huge amount of other work to do' There's trouble here — Paul Johnson (@paul__johnson) June 15, 2020
Jane wasn’t happy with the answer.
Thought this response by Raab – that they’ve got a huge amount of work to do – was odd given two of them appeared every day during the worst part of the pandemic when you’d think their workload would have been more intense! https://t.co/pL5CUA6dfl — Jane Merrick (we are still at level 4) (@janemerrick23) June 15, 2020
Neither were these people.
1.
Raab: “Scientists and medics unable to attend press conferences now because they have a huge amount of work to do unlike the last couple of months where they’ve had nothing to do but play cards and go on TikTok.”pic.twitter.com/APQuz3cZrM — David Schneider (@davidschneider) June 15, 2020
2.
Dominic Raab confirms that scientists will no longer be required at press briefings, now that our approach is to be led by the bullshit.#DailyBriefing — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) June 15, 2020
3.
Seems a curious time for the government to furlough its scientific advisors… https://t.co/lbiVbdlH51 — Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) June 15, 2020
4.
Dominic Raab unable to find any scientists to back up the Governments doomed strategy today #dailybriefings — end of daves ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) June 15, 2020
5.
Enter Dominic Raab – without scientists guiding him, on a day he says we'll be guided by science – saying there'll be a second spike if we're not careful, on the day they implored people to do less careful things. — Danny Wallace 🇪🇺 (@dannywallace) June 15, 2020
6.
Jane Merrick – Where are the scientists? Dominic Raab – Waffle, waffle, waffle… they've got other things to do… waffle, waffle waffle….#PressBriefing pic.twitter.com/14h9LyfKHj — Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 (@Haggis_UK) June 15, 2020
7.
The political equivalent of "I've got a girlfriend, she lives in another town and goes to a different school." https://t.co/IjvBZ1HYY2 — Otto English (@Otto_English) June 15, 2020
8.
Cummings lying about the 'eye test' will, in retrospect, be seen as the point this government became permanently & irretrievably detached from the truth. https://t.co/4pOwgDq0Gt — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) June 15, 2020
This response from @Calumets explains why people are concerned about the absence of scientific advisers at the briefings.
Having Dominic Raab deliver the Downing Street briefing with not a scientist in sight is like expecting Paw Patrol to save us when the asteroid hits. #WereDoomed — Dolly………. #FightThePower 👊🛠 (@Calumets) June 15, 2020
READ MORE
Boris Johnson is to take ‘direct control’ of the coronavirus crisis and the entire internet had the same question
Source Jane Merrick Image BBC screengrab


thepoke--2020-06-15--People love this New Zealand porn awareness ad featuring nude ‘porn actors’

To be filed under ‘ if you only watch one advert this week ’ comes this rather fabulous porn awareness @ @ @ @ @ of the world .
It ’ s the latest in a series of clever public @ @ @ @ @ by the New Zealand government , and this one ’ s all about porn .
@ @ @ @ @ s not as NSFW as it looks .
Other videos in the series tackle topics @ @ @ @ @ the ease with which children can access violent content , reports the Guardian .
And @ @ @ @ @ It Real website here .

Videos
To be filed under ‘if you only watch one advert this week’ comes this rather fabulous porn awareness ad from the other side of the world.
It’s the latest in a series of clever public service announcements about tricky subjects by the New Zealand government, and this one’s all about porn.
Fear not, it’s not as NSFW as it looks.
Brilliantly done.
Other videos in the series tackle topics like cyberbullying, grooming and the ease with which children can access violent content, reports the Guardian.
And you can find the Keep It Real website here.
Source YouTube Keep It Real


thepoke--2020-06-15--‘Best 52 seconds of television I’ve watched in a long time’

‘ The best 52 seconds of television I ’ ve watched in a long time , ’ says @ davecribb @ @ @ @ @ s not kidding .
And just in case you ’ re wondering who it is @ @ @ @ @ .
And it all reminded us of this brilliant video , for reasons which will @ @ @ @

Videos
‘The best 52 seconds of television I’ve watched in a long time,’ says @davecribb on Twitter and he’s not kidding.
This is perfect. It’s basically Brent reading a Partridge script, and it’s the best 52 seconds of television I’ve watched in a long time. pic.twitter.com/VDOBjd4rO5 — Dave Cribb (@davecribb) June 14, 2020
And just in case you’re wondering who it is.
I AM AWARE OF THIS MAN’S WORK. I got captivated by him a while back. He’s called Rob Locke. When he gets onto selling products on here, it’s quite something 😆https://t.co/ZxE8b4MxsV — Kate Holmes (@MsKateHolmes) June 14, 2020
And then this happened.
Just came upstairs and only caught this but, assuming someone has told him that he’s being talked about on Twitter 😂 pic.twitter.com/4URD4av7wQ — Lan (@LaniCDF) June 15, 2020
Oh amazing. I love him — Dave Cribb (@davecribb) June 15, 2020
And it all reminded us of this brilliant video, for reasons which will become immediately obvious.
Since #AlanPartridge is back on our screens, let's revel in the best #AccidentalPartridge ever courtesy of Derek Thompson. pic.twitter.com/VhVawEDZNg — Lucas Swain (@LucasSwain95) February 25, 2019
Wonderful.
READ MORE
22 times people accidentally and hilariously channelled Alan Partridge
Source @davecribb


thepoke--2020-06-15--CBeebies had a message for viewers about racism and it went viral because it was so well done

The good people of CBeebies had a message for their viewers in the light of recent – and indeed , @ @ @ @ @ and it went viral because it was simply perfect .
Over to Ben Cajee , @ @ @ @ @ .
If only other people managed to put it so eloquently .
Here ’ s @ @ @ @ @ the things people were saying about it over the weekend .
Blue Peter tackled racism @ @ @ @ @ it was so brilliantly done

Videos
The good people of CBeebies had a message for their viewers in the light of recent – and indeed, not so recent – events and it went viral because it was simply perfect.
Over to Ben Cajee, who had this to say.
If only other people managed to put it so eloquently. Here’s just a glimpse of all the things people were saying about it over the weekend.
CBeebies, summing up in 1 short minute what so many find so difficult to understand. Thank you for teaching our children to be the best they can be xx pic.twitter.com/8EWvF7s1Ec — Amy Keen (@amymkeen) June 12, 2020
https://twitter.com/CrowtherSim/status/1271699304340652038?s=20
Brilliant – we turned on the TV at lunchtime just as this was ending, we heard Ben say “one day you will be older and will be looking after the world” so I was coming to Twitter to ask you where we could see it again. Have now shown it to my 5yo & 3 yo. They’ve got this. 💪🌈 🌍 — New Malden Mum (@NM_Mum) June 12, 2020
In under a minute, @CBeebiesHQ makes the clearest, most inclusive statement that anyone can understand. https://t.co/X2sqm7Cbnk — Justin Lewis (@WhenIsBirths) June 12, 2020
As a mother of a strong five year old girl who has experienced racist language towards her, this message means a lot. It will be shared in my home and beyond. Bravo CBeebies. https://t.co/oDdKv3CKQr — Krupa Padhy (@KrupaPadhyBBC) June 12, 2020
Last word to @ben_cajee.
https://twitter.com/ben_cajee/status/1271419411174391808?s=20
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Blue Peter tackled racism and it went viral because it was so brilliantly done
Source @CBeenbiesHQ


thepoke--2020-06-15--People love this letter by a 74-year-old Fortnite fan in lockdown

Reader ’ s letter of the week – not to us , obviously , to the Daily Telegraph – is this , shared by author Frank Cottrell-Boyce .
‘ This will put the tinketty in your tonk , ’ said Frank – @ frankcottrell_b – on Twitter .
And just in case that ’ s tricky to read … ‘ I note that some are warning schools against the computer game Fortnite , saying it engenders aggression and violence .
‘ I am a 74-year-old who likes to play and keep in touch with his nine-year-old grandson who lives 200 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , I ’ ve come to interact with many of his friends , who are caring and friendly towards the grandpa among them .
‘ They never leave me to die , are quick to attend to me when injured and give patient advice .
‘ Their politeness , comradeship , team spirit , humour and creative thinking would astound their parents , let alone their teachers .
It is a privilege to be counted among them .
‘ Believe me , this game has nothing to do with violnce and everything to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , moving letter that is .
Or maybe we ’ ve just spent too long in lockdown ?
Here ’ s what other people were saying about it .
And you can follow @ frankcottrell_b on Twitter here !
This library ’ s thread about Fortnite went viral because it has the best payoff you ’ ll read this week

Popular
Reader’s letter of the week – not to us, obviously, to the Daily Telegraph – is this, shared by author Frank Cottrell-Boyce.
‘This will put the tinketty in your tonk,’ said Frank – @frankcottrell_b – on Twitter.
And just in case that’s tricky to read …
‘I note that some are warning schools against the computer game Fortnite, saying it engenders aggression and violence. ‘I am a 74-year-old who likes to play and keep in touch with his nine-year-old grandson who lives 200 miles away. In playing the game, I’ve come to interact with many of his friends, who are caring and friendly towards the grandpa among them. ‘They never leave me to die, are quick to attend to me when injured and give patient advice. ‘Their politeness, comradeship, team spirit, humour and creative thinking would astound their parents, let alone their teachers. It is a privilege to be counted among them. ‘Believe me, this game has nothing to do with violnce and everything to do with fun.’ John Evans, Ormskirk, Lancashire
What a wonderful, moving letter that is. Or maybe we’ve just spent too long in lockdown? Here’s what other people were saying about it.
My 74 year old dad regularly plays Fortnite too.. He and his 70 yo brother fight young uns from all over the world..😁 who are always amazed when they find out their ages. — msmee (@kisimee) June 13, 2020
"they never leave me to die" is all I ask for in life — ClaireMawPhotography (@clairemaw70) June 13, 2020
I'm not crying… You're crying… Also, "tinketty in your tonk" a keeper for sure! — Damian Smith (@sanspaddlecreek) June 13, 2020
And you can follow @frankcottrell_b on Twitter here!
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This library’s thread about Fortnite went viral because it has the best payoff you’ll read this week
Source @frankcottrell_b


thepoke--2020-06-15--Our 7 favourite funny reactions to this unfortunate weather forecast green screen moment

You probably know that weather maps aren ’ t really where the forecasters are pointing , but added via green-screen @ @ @ @ @ is often used to show the viewers images of the weather conditions or just the @ @ @ @ @ this unfortunate – or very fortunate – positioning ended up happening .
We applaud Alex @ @ @ @ @ able to laugh at herself .
We also applaud these people for their very funny @ @ @ @ @ green screen isn ’ t the only hazard weather forecasters need to watch out for @ @ @ @ @ thunder – it ’ s Owain the weather man on drums

Twitter
You probably know that weather maps aren’t really where the forecasters are pointing, but added via green-screen technology.
The same technology is often used to show the viewers images of the weather conditions or just the locality, which is how this unfortunate – or very fortunate – positioning ended up happening.
We applaud Alex O’Brien for being able to laugh at herself. We also applaud these people for their very funny reactions.
1.
2.
And a fifty percent chance of me COMING FOR YOUR SOUL!!!!!!!" https://t.co/KVbeG80NtY — SchrodingersCOVID (@SchrodingersCO2) June 12, 2020
3.
4.
5.
TV mets always trying to be the centaur of attention https://t.co/oHlRImJsDU — Steve Silver (@SteveTSRA) June 11, 2020
6.
Sunny with outbreaks of antichrist — Catwoman (@TheSiouxfan) June 13, 2020
7.
The new Lion, Witch & the Wardrobe looks interesting… https://t.co/VvxHBXLRvE — AutonoMush (@MushKat) June 12, 2020
These days, green screen isn’t the only hazard weather forecasters need to watch out for.
This is the best weather forecast in the history of television news pic.twitter.com/LhmoJDCkbZ — Andrew Feinberg (@AndrewFeinberg) April 30, 2020
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That’s not thunder – it’s Owain the weather man on drums
Source Alex O’Brien Image Alex O’Brien


thepoke--2020-06-15--Donald Trump explained why he walked so slowly down this ramp – 7 perfect takedowns

You will probably have seen by now the video of Donald Trump walking slowly – very slowly – down a @ @ @ @ @ Here ’ s what the so-called president had to say about it on Twitter .
@ @ @ @ @ things people said in response .
If you were wondering how Obama tackled the same @ @ @ @ @ have been raining that day , right Mr President ?
Here it is with music @

Twitter
You will probably have seen by now the video of Donald Trump walking slowly – very slowly – down a ramp at the weekend.
Trump descended a ramp extremely carefully at the end of his West Point speech today pic.twitter.com/uMG3KyB1V1 — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) June 13, 2020
Here’s what the so-called president had to say about it on Twitter.
The ramp that I descended after my West Point Commencement speech was very long & steep, had no handrail and, most importantly, was very slippery. The last thing I was going to do is “fall” for the Fake News to have fun with. Final ten feet I ran down to level ground. Momentum! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 14, 2020
And here are our favourite things people said in response.
1.
1. That was not "steep," Spanky
2. That was not ten feet
3. That was not "running" You're a frail, scaredy little bunker baby who is afraid of steps, ramps, and glasses of water. SAD! #RampGate pic.twitter.com/968r8O97E7 — BrooklynDad_Defiant! (@mmpadellan) June 14, 2020
2.
The ramp I descended upon arriving at the Death Star was very long & steep, had no handrail and, most importantly, was very slippery. The last thing I was going to do is “fall” for the FRN (Fake Rebel News) to have fun with. Final ten feet I ran down to level ground. Momentum! pic.twitter.com/ZzahW37Aey — Darth Vader (@DarthVader) June 14, 2020
3.
Donald it was a Scary ramp and you defeated it I saw you run those last 10 feet and you also did a flip and fighted a vampire with a sword you are so cool donald no one is laughing at you or thinking you are old and dumb #MAGA https://t.co/LyBbUdTg3s — Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) June 14, 2020
4.
Using an online protractor tool it looks to me like the ramp is at about an 11 degree downward angle.#TRUMPstroke #TrumpIsNotWell #rampgate pic.twitter.com/VDve6v1gas — Make Anagrams Great Again (@ConserveLetters) June 14, 2020
5.
Maybe you should stop making fun of Joe Biden and your enemies by calling them “Sleepy,” “hiding in the basement,” and accusing them of physical ailments when you yourself aren’t in your prime. I’m not here to make fun of you medically but you’re in a glass house throwing stones. — Eugene Gu, MD (@eugenegu) June 14, 2020
6.
There’s always a tweet, Trump ramp edition https://t.co/Dbh2PziTmI — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) June 14, 2020
7.
Some people are afraid that when Trump loses he won’t leave the White House. Don’t worry. The Army Corps of Engineers will build a sturdy ramp with solid handrails. — Rob Reiner (@robreiner) June 14, 2020
If you were wondering how Obama tackled the same ramp.
and here's Obama walking up the same ramp it's obviously not "very steep" as Trump claimed pic.twitter.com/tjhZaUZKKy — BebopSpaceCowgirl 🌈💖💚❤💙💜 (@jomareewade) June 14, 2020
Can’t have been raining that day, right Mr President?
Here it is with music.
This is the video, in case you missed it. The West Point band music adds an extra je ne sais quoi. pic.twitter.com/qx2cLteDQK — Helen Kennedy (@HelenKennedy) June 14, 2020
And Attenborough. Yes, David Attenborough.
Donald Trump narrated by Sir David Attenborough #TrumpIsNotWell pic.twitter.com/iaOWApFdQp — ElElegante101 (@skolanach) June 14, 2020
READ MORE
Simply 17 funny photoshops of Donald Trump holding a Bible outside church


thepoke--2020-06-15--This elephant making a joke with this guy’s hat is the content we all need today

This is such a lovely , amazing , beautiful moment , and it ’ s all over in 16 seconds @ @ @ @ @ try to pretend you ’ re not going to watch it again .
And again @ @ @ @ @ thought the elephant might be being abused , so the brilliant @ pandamoanimum , who @ @ @ @ @ the clip , did this .
When Alexandra Burke thought she brought the phrase ‘ @ @ @ @ @ to the UK might be the best thing she ’ s ever done

Videos
This is such a lovely, amazing, beautiful moment, and it’s all over in 16 seconds flat.
An elephant playfully stealing and then returning a wildlife photographer's hat pic.twitter.com/B9yYG5C3aY — Back To Nature (@backt0nature) June 14, 2020
Don’t try to pretend you’re not going to watch it again. And again.
THE ELEPHANT ALSO PUTS THE HAT ON ITS OWN HEAD. THE ELEPHANT MAKES A JOKE AND PRETENDS TO WEAR THE HAT AND I THINK MY HEART JUST BURST. https://t.co/Uva8hsXQH4 — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) June 14, 2020
Apparently elephant brains light up in reaction to us the same way ours do to puppies. They think we are cute. — Sir Fox (@DemonBob_Badman) June 14, 2020
"hey watch this. Yoink. OH LOOK AT ME I'M A HUMAN HAHAHA HOOPITY-HOO I TAKE TINY POOPS AND HAVE TERRIBLE ANXIETY hahaha just kidding Alan we like to have fun here" https://t.co/iUYsQMGU4V — Sam Sykes (@SamSykesSwears) June 14, 2020
He actually tries it on before giving it back… — Candace (@B0rdertourista) June 14, 2020
I think if you’re sentient enough to mock people you shouldn’t be hunted. https://t.co/nCptlRlraA — Joan Wendland (@BandCgames) June 14, 2020
One or two people thought the elephant might be being abused, so the brilliant @pandamoanimum, who was among those who shared the clip, did this.
I saw this video and just saw a beautiful moment. Then some people said the elephant was beaten into behaving this way and accused me of promoting animal cruelty, which I would NEVER do.
So here’s what I’ve found out about the elephant in the clip.https://t.co/LmBhHMDEs8 pic.twitter.com/06qiv1ZCrz — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) June 15, 2020
Also: https://t.co/5NRrigeWdp Plus Jabu has a blog: https://t.co/7VuW9VGch0 and an Instagram account:https://t.co/Eu5dHJXMWD where you can see his progress. Please don’t ever accuse me of condoning animal abuse. — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) June 15, 2020
And if you wish to donate to support Jabu (and his friend Morula) then you can do so here: https://t.co/KYNrxGDerT — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) June 15, 2020
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When Alexandra Burke thought she brought the phrase ‘elephant in the room’ to the UK might be the best thing she’s ever done
Source Twitter @backt0nature H/T @pandamoanimum