thepoke--2020-01-13--A Family Feud contestant’s triumphant wrong answer is our new favourite quiz fail

Family Feud is what they call Family Fortunes in just about every country apart from the UK , and this @ @ @ @ @ from the Canadian version is hilariously cringeworthy .
Eve was so convinced she ’ s @ @ @ @ @ we have to assume it ’ s because of fast-food chain Popeyes Chicken , which @ @ @ @ @ The hilarious fail has been viewed a million times on this clip alone , but @ @ @ @ @ about .
These are some of the reactions we ’ ve particularly enjoyed .
But @ @ @ @ @ at Eve , this is the response she got from Popeyes Chicken .
She ’ @ @ @ @ @ for Popeyes again .
Olive Oyl will be furious .

Videos
Family Feud is what they call Family Fortunes in just about every country apart from the UK, and this clip of a special moment from the Canadian version is hilariously cringeworthy.
Eve was so convinced she’s given the right answer, we have to assume it’s because of fast-food chain Popeyes Chicken, which has branches in Canada.
The hilarious fail has been viewed a million times on this clip alone, but there are several others floating about.
These are some of the reactions we’ve particularly enjoyed.
I tuned in to Canada's new version of Family Feud and may have witnessed one of the most iconic game show moments I've ever seen. pic.twitter.com/QsTIjEzoM7 — Mike Morrison 🏳🌈 (@mikesbloggity) January 10, 2020
Omg 😂 this should be an ad https://t.co/x4tDG1qmby — E. (@spreckles) January 10, 2020
could be my new favourite game show moment of all-time. — Gino Reda (@GinoRedaTSN) 10 January 2020
Happy Saturday! If you need me, I'll be dancing around saying CHICKENNN all day. 🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗🍗 https://t.co/Wu8QgQFVQV — Graeme Benjamin (@GlobalGraeme) January 11, 2020
But before you laugh too hard at Eve, this is the response she got from Popeyes Chicken.
.@sublimevey! Our survey says you got that right. DM us to claim your $10,000 worth of Popeyes. #LoveThatChickenFromPopeyes https://t.co/OeCQYsG875 pic.twitter.com/LlfyaY83n7 — Popeyes Chicken (@PopeyesChicken) 10 January 2020
She’ll never have to pay for Popeyes again. Olive Oyl will be furious.
Source Family Feud Canada Image Family Feud Canada, Wikipedia


thepoke--2020-01-13--This freeloader was furious a second-hand printer didn’t come with ink and it didn’t end well

Everyone knows that the worst thing about buying a printer is the cost of the ink .
But we ’ @ @ @ @ @ s quite such a valid complaint if you ’ re buying a printer on the @ @ @ @ @ second hand .
Put some of the money you save on the printer towards the @ @ @ @ @ right ?
Everyone ’ s a winner .
Except this person still wasn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ offer .
Basically , he wanted to have his cake and print it .
A @ @ @ @ @ s best friend for a free portrait and was furious when he only got offered @ @

Pics
Everyone knows that the worst thing about buying a printer is the cost of the ink. But we’re not sure it’s quite such a valid complaint if you’re buying a printer on the cheap because it’s second hand.
Put some of the money you save on the printer towards the cost of the ink, right? Everyone’s a winner.
Except this person still wasn’t happy with the deal on offer.
Basically, he wanted to have his cake and print it.
READ MORE
A man asked his wife’s best friend for a free portrait and was furious when he only got offered a discount
Source Reddit u/pretzelman97


thepoke--2020-01-13--Gary Lineker had the last word after calling out ‘weird’ Piers Morgan over Meghan Markle

There have been a lot of words written about Meghan Markle in the last week and there ’ s going @ @ @ @ @ written about her this week .
But it sometimes seems – actually , it always @ @ @ @ @ more obsessed with the Duchess of Sussex quite as much as Piers Morgan , who @ @ @ @ @ her in a pub and appears never to have been able to forget it .
@ @ @ @ @ this .

Twitter
There have been a lot of words written about Meghan Markle in the last week and there’s going to be a lot more written about her this week.
But it sometimes seems – actually, it always seems – no-one’s more obsessed with the Duchess of Sussex quite as much as Piers Morgan, who once had a drink with her in a pub and appears never to have been able to forget it.
It started when Lineker said this.
Families fall out. It’s hard enough without the whole world judging & haranguing you. Yes, the Royal family is a weird concept. A strange job that brings absurd entitlement, but they’re still human beings with foibles and feelings. Meanwhile Australia is on fire and war threatens — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) 10 January 2020
So naturally Morgan joined in and it went from there.
BREAKING: Lineker brands Royal Family 'weird' & 'absurd' whilst saying we should be mindful of their feelings… https://t.co/ezKsNiAodM — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) 10 January 2020
The concept of having a Royal family, not the family itself. Twist it anyway you like, Tubs. Once a tabloid editor, always a tabloid editor. 🙄 https://t.co/tdUCWtb5pi — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) 10 January 2020
I don’t want to damage your knighthood ambitions, Jugs, but speaking as a former editor (who loves tabloids), you said ‘the Royal family’ not ‘a Royal family’ so your ‘weird’ & ‘absurd’ dig was clearly aimed at THIS Royal family. Unless you want to admit to being illiterate? https://t.co/Lh96fzQGu4 — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) 10 January 2020
I don’t have any knighthood ambitions. You’re obsession with these two people is most certainly weird. https://t.co/X9mmbsvr9p — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) 10 January 2020
Finally you’re right about something. https://t.co/nbRvlet9tk — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) 10 January 2020
A last-minute winner.
So weird. So so weird. https://t.co/l3atBG5g70 — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) 10 January 2020
Simply 10 times Piers Morgan was brutally owned


thepoke--2020-01-13--The rules for joining this 5-a-side football team went viral because they are hilariously OTT

We don ’ t do as much sport now as we used to back in the day , when it @ @ @ @ @ we didn ’ t do much sport then either .
It ’ s not the @ @ @ @ @ off , it ’ s all the nonsense that can occasionally come with it , @ @ @ @ @ get more nonsensical than this .
A chap called Martin over on Twitter enquired about @ @ @ @ @ and was so amazed by the 14-page book of rules and regulations that came with @ @ @ @ @ share it with the rest of the world .
And it ’ s fair to @ @ @ @ @ wildly viral .
Not everyone believed it was true but it was still very funny @ @ @ @ @ won ’ t see a worse ( or more comical ) 19 seconds of football @ @

Sport
It’s not the physical activity that stops us doing more sport these days – well, it is a bit – but it’s also all the nonsense that tends to come with joining a football or cricket (or golf!) club.
The rules and regulations, the politics, all that kinda stuff. And it doesn’t get more nonsensical than this.
A chap called Martin over on Twitter enquired about joining a 5-a-side football team and was so amazed by the 14-page book of rules and regulations that came with it he felt compelled to share it with the rest of the world.
Thread: I recently enquired to a football team, bit of 5-a-side fun. What I got in response is biblical. A 14 page club guide. One four. For a 5-a-side team. Within it it absolute footballing gold, the highlights of which I am now going to share with you….. — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
This 5-a-side team has a 'Director of Football'. This should have been enough to make me stop reading on Page 1, but I carried on….. pic.twitter.com/4zDOypYXkv — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
"punished until they do" Not sure if I'd be joining a football team or ISIS. pic.twitter.com/RbbSpJp3e6 — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
A 3 week ban because I didn't read the 14 page handbook properly?! Fuck me, Son got less for kicking a man in the chest pic.twitter.com/0aXOSoJgOR — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
A 3 week ban is also coming your way if you have the audacity to reply to a text the following day. Racking up those suspensions. pic.twitter.com/RYiPtt68hY — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
Three more weeks if you engage in chit chat pic.twitter.com/sjxWyAstwW — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
Haven't read the messages? The Gestapo administrator is going to SPOT CHECK YOU and then…..yep, three week ban my friend pic.twitter.com/aInK4CevbL — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
Wife died in a car accident did she and you can't make the game? That's a THIRTY TWO WEEKS BAN! pic.twitter.com/kc4IppvYt5 — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
Decided to go for a meal because you were only a reserve that week? You can do it for the next three weeks too mate, as that's how long your ban will be! pic.twitter.com/kWCYIAjIu9 — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
You might be playing at a standard that uses red & blue bibs, but my lord you'd better believe there are the chosen ones who are the "wise footballers among us" pic.twitter.com/jeNgIspZpw — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
Seven minutes. Not six, and certainly not eight. Probably get three weeks out for that pic.twitter.com/TLk5JyOGIe — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
Got stuck in traffic? You don't understand the importance of tactics. Three week ban! pic.twitter.com/IpQ3NEE9pL — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
Excessive foul language is "encouraged"?! pic.twitter.com/xnmrP74uAr — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
However, don't be overly competitive or you can be under competitive for……you guessed it, three weeks! pic.twitter.com/5ie0guz30L — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
Despite excessive foul language being actively encouraged, you'll also find yourself sitting out for…..three weeks pic.twitter.com/E00WWrSggq — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
Think your captain talks shit? That's three weeks for you. pic.twitter.com/FcJsjZAo5g — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
Wearing a scarf during a team talk? Understandably punishable by a three week suspension pic.twitter.com/wJaOMSh2OX — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
29 minutes past the hour, 32 minutes past the hour. No earlier, no later. pic.twitter.com/jw9duKgnNG — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
You'll be issued with an ID. A simple system, right? Wrong! pic.twitter.com/ts3EeThtdQ — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
In a bizarre plot twist, it turns out you can bet on the games you're playing in. Pretty sure that contravenes FA regulations. pic.twitter.com/OYVcrqt6U3 — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
So, all things considered, I think I might skip over this team. Either that or join them and see if I can achieve the 32 week ban. — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
I forgot about the survey to fill in if you want to join! "how many keepy uppies can you do with 3 attempts in the back garden" Ffs, I'm done pic.twitter.com/RDUyMcd4T3 — Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) 9 January 2020
And it’s fair to say it went viral, wildly viral.
Early contender for best Twitter thread 2020. This is absolutely superb! — Dan Glozier (@DanGlozier) 9 January 2020
The director of football, got me. Manchester United don’t have one but this 5 a side team does. That shows ambition — Marley Worth (@MarleyWiggan) 9 January 2020
Not everyone believed it was true but it was still very funny and entirely relatable.
Please tell me this is real. It’s utterly nuts. https://t.co/tbr9nb6Q50 — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) January 10, 2020
READ MORE
You won’t see a worse (or more comical) 19 seconds of football all season
Source Twitter @NewAgeBoxingUK Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-01-13--In light of Gwyneth Paltrow’s special candle, here are some more scents that Goop might like

In case you hadn ’ t seen the news , a candle supposedly smelling like Gwyneth Paltrow ’ s vagina @ @ @ @ @ Goop website , despite costing $ 75 each .
With that in mind , we @ @ @ @ @ market these unusual scents as well .
Finally , one for the commuters .
People @ @ @ @ @ Gwyneth Paltrow ’ s “ vagina-scented ” candle – the 18 funniest reactions

Exclusive
In case you hadn’t seen the news, a candle supposedly smelling like Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina has sold out on her Goop website, despite costing $75 each.
With that in mind, we thought they might like to market these unusual scents as well.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
Finally, one for the commuters.
READ MORE
People got in a flap over Gwyneth Paltrow’s “vagina-scented” candle – the 18 funniest reactions
Image Goop, @laulaandco on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-01-13--“What’s the biggest problem you have with your name?” Our 16 favourite responses

You might think that only the offspring of celebrities end up with name problems , such as Apple Martin , @ @ @ @ @ to be sued if she ever tries to become a computer entrepreneur , or Dweezil @ @ @ @ @ …is called Dweezil .
Author Marcus Vance shared the problem he has with his name @ @ @ @ @ people had to deal with .
It turns out that they have a lot to @ @ @ @ @ really enjoyed these .

Twitter
You might think that only the offspring of celebrities end up with name problems, such as Apple Martin, who’s probably going to be sued if she ever tries to become a computer entrepreneur, or Dweezil Zappa, who, well …is called Dweezil.
Author Marcus Vance shared the problem he has with his name, and wondered what other people had to deal with.
What's the biggest problem you have with your name? My biggest problem? Me: "Hi, I'm Marcus. Nice to meet you." Business people: "Hi, Marcus. Do you go by Mark?" Me: "No. If I did then don't you think I'd introduce myself as that?" — Marcus Vance (@MarcusCVance) January 9, 2020
It turns out that they have a lot to deal with, and we really enjoyed these.
1.
Starbucks staff: Name?
Me: It’s Huw
Starbucks: Sue?
Me: No, Huw
Starbucks: Who?
Me: Huw
Starbucks: Is that H-U-G-H?
Me: No it’s H-U-W
Starbucks: Is that Chinese?
Me: Call me Ed. https://t.co/8PrFBXSPhV — Huw Edwards (@huwbbc) January 10, 2020
2.
Me: I'm Lorn.
Them: Nice to meet you Lauren.
Me: Lorn.
Them: Lawn? Like a lawnmore?
Me: No it has an r in it. Lorn.
Them: Looaa…….Lauren.
Me: Lorn. Like Porn with an L.
Them: Plorn.
Me: Nailed it. https://t.co/Q0y0x76Rw8 — Lorn Macdonald (@LornMacdonald_) January 12, 2020
3.
"What's the biggest problem you have with your name?" Where do I start… the internet! The standard error message: "Last name must have at least 2 letters." My personal all-time favorite: "Last name field cannot be in all caps." — Stanford college app in the early 2000s. https://t.co/BPdmVBBDcf — Vivian U (@JustTheLetterU) January 12, 2020
4.
My name is Saoirse. "Sorry, what?" Saoirse. "How do you spell that?" S-a-o-i-r-s-e "Whoa what's a weird collection of letters! What's that from??" It's Irish. "You mean Gaelic?" No. https://t.co/POSIGvLKyS — Yer One (@MiseryVulture) January 11, 2020
5.
True story from about 5 years ago. Hotel receptionist: What’s your name? Me: Jacqui Smith Receptionist: I bet you’re glad you’re not that one. 😳 https://t.co/psyfpSbYnz — Jacqui Smith (@Jacqui_Smith1) January 11, 2020
6.
"how do you say/spell that?"
"Michael?"
"Meeka?"
"Macau?"
"Isn't that a girl's name?"
being called during attendance sucked
yall get the point lol https://t.co/HqyqVEZEFW — mycah (@mycah_serdenia) January 13, 2020
7.
My surname is Pastor and I recieve regularly job offers to be a pastor in churches in the UK and US https://t.co/2mEwDTsXih — LuisPas (@Luis_pastor) January 11, 2020
8.


thepoke--2020-01-13--How a train guard foiled a ticket cheat with detective work is essential reading

Hardworking comedian , Ignacio Lopez does a lot of travelling from gig to gig , so it ’ s no @ @ @ @ @ seen some interesting sights on public transport .
He recently shared a story of how @ @ @ @ @ a regular little Columbo to foil someone ’ s attempt to get a free ride @ @ @ @ @ decided to try and scam the train guard , but Ignacio had a front-row seat @ @ @ @ @ It looked like it might all hinge on whose nerve gave out first .
But @ @ @ @ @ passenger had overlooked .
The poker face came back into play .
Would the bluff @ @ @ @ @ evidence began to mount up .
It looked like game over .
But it wasn @ @ @ @ @ more thing , Sir !

Twitter
Hardworking comedian, Ignacio Lopez does a lot of travelling from gig to gig, so it’s no surprise that he’s seen some interesting sights on public transport.
He recently shared a story of how a ticket inspector turned into a regular little Columbo to foil someone’s attempt to get a free ride.
Witnessed the most amazing thing on the train to Edinburgh yesterday. A guy boarded in Wigan & sat opposite me. He went to sleep for an hour. When he woke up he bought a sandwich, ate it & went back to sleep. (This isn’t a maths test, you don’t need to know the distance/speed). — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
Who knows why he decided to try and scam the train guard, but Ignacio had a front-row seat for the one-act play.
Later, the train guard is walking through, checking tickets, and gently wakes the guy.
“Can I see your ticket, please?”
“Oh, I need to buy a ticket”
“Where you going, pal?”
The guy glances at his phone.
“Edinburgh”
“Where did you get on?” — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
I can see the cogs working in this guy’s head. He figures out roughly where we are and what the last stop was.
“Carlisle” The train guard sits down next to him and pauses.
“Are you sure you didn’t get on sooner?” — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
It looked like it might all hinge on whose nerve gave out first.
The guy is wondering if the guard saw him earlier. He decides to go for it. Poker face time. I feel like I’m watching Pacino & De Niro face off in ‘Heat’. pic.twitter.com/P9yyX4dwUp — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
But there was something the sleepy passenger had overlooked.
“I got on in Carlisle” The train guard furrows his brow, puts his ticket machine down and picks up a receipt from the table in front of the guy. “This train stopped in Carlisle 10 minutes ago, but this receipt was issued over an hour ago.” — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
The poker face came back into play.
Holy shit! Train Guard has evidence.
Wasn’t this supposed to be made available to the defence team? I can see the beads of sweat forming on the guy’s forehead.
“That’s not mine” (Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, the evidence the prosecution have is circumstantial) — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
Would the bluff be enough? The circumstantial evidence began to mount up.
“This receipt is for a sandwich, you’ve got crumbs all over you.” He does, too! The train guard is Sherlock Holming the crap out of this. The guy might has well have had mayo on his face. What a plum! pic.twitter.com/ul1z8r5QDJ — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
But his nerve held …
“That’s not mine. I had a sandwich in Carlisle”
Damn. He’s denying everything. Is the train guard going to inspect the sandwich packaging? “Carlisle to Edinburgh, that’s £27. Cash or card?” — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
😧 He’s… he’s got away with it. Gutted. Really thought the train guard had him. The guy pulls out his wallet & slides over his debit card. There’s a definite air of smugness, he put the card on the table like it was a platinum credit card. — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
It looked like game over.
Oh well, I guess he’s evaded justice this time. pic.twitter.com/g8LIJbLk7W — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
But it wasn’t … Just one more thing, Sir!
Wait…
The train guard is looking at the card very closely. The guy appears confused. — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
Maintaining eye contact with the perp, the train guard puts the card down next to the receipt.
“This is the same card used to buy the sandwich, sir.” The guy’s eyes are darting back and forth from the guard to the card.
“No…. what?” — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
“The last four digits are printed on the receipt” — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
Sweet Falk! He’s got him! pic.twitter.com/5uDxkHmEKl — Ignacio Lopez (@comedylopez) 11 January 2020
Now it’s game over.


thepoke--2020-01-13--President Trump talks about windmills – with “help” from the room next door

Donald Trump is the most powerful climate change denier in the world , as well as a champion of coal-power @ @ @ @ @ was no real surprise when he decided to trash the idea of wind-power in a @ @ @ @ @ Spicer was on hand to show us what he should have been saying .
With @ @ @ @ @ more than eleven thousand retweets and a whole raft of impressed comments , it ’ @ @ @ @ @ yet another winner from Michael .
As The Impacttologist said , Michael Spicer was in @ @ @ @ @ that Andrew Marr interview – for all the good it did

Videos
Donald Trump is the most powerful climate change denier in the world, as well as a champion of coal-power and fracking, so it was no real surprise when he decided to trash the idea of wind-power in a speech.
Luckily, Michael Spicer was on hand to show us what he should have been saying.
the room next door – President Trump and Windmills pic.twitter.com/OoDVjOoyOs — Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) January 11, 2020
“Okay, forget detail. Er, just try talking less like a four-year-old who’s eaten too many fizzy sweets.”
With over a million views, more than eleven thousand retweets and a whole raft of impressed comments, it’s clear that this is yet another winner from Michael.
As The Impacttologist said,
Congrats @MrMichaelSpicer really funny, whilst making a really important point. Your videos mirror any sane thinking persons responses to Trump, even if our private language is more colourful than you can broadcast! — The Impacttologist (@impacttologist) 11 January 2020
READ MORE
Michael Spicer was in the room next door to that Andrew Marr interview – for all the good it did
Source @MrMichaelSpicer Image @MrMichaelSpicer


thepoke--2020-01-13--People got in a flap over Gwyneth Paltrow’s “vagina-scented” candle – the 18 funniest reactions

Because it ’ s not become apparent that 2020 is destined to be the most ridiculous year on record , @ @ @ @ @ Paltrow ’ s Goop site is a candle that allegedly smells like her vagina .
@ @ @ @ @ it costs $ 75 and it sold out as soon as the news broke .

Weird World
Because it’s not become apparent that 2020 is destined to be the most ridiculous year on record, the latest product on Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop site is a candle that allegedly smells like her vagina. To make matters worse, it costs $75 and it sold out as soon as the news broke.
Twitter reacted as you’d expect.
1.
I hear Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina candle, burns for 48 hours, just like a yeast infection- hahahahaha — Jenny Eclair (@jennyeclair) January 12, 2020
2.
God: It’s time to start the apocalypse. Angel: But people are basically good. Give them a chance! God: Gwyneth Paltrow just released a vagina-scented candle. Angel: Never mind, go ahead. — Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 12, 2020
3.
So Gwyneth Paltrow’s $75 fanjita-smelling candles sell out in minutes, but I make one smegma tealight as a gift and my mother-in-law goes radge?! — MC (@mockchopped) January 12, 2020
4.
I bet Yankee Candle are shitting themselves. Which will, coincidentally, be Gwyneth’s next scented candle. pic.twitter.com/1c5bncC97J — Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) January 11, 2020
5.
*brings cake out*
🎶Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you🎶
"Daddy, what's that smell?"
"Nothing, just hurry up & make a wish" pic.twitter.com/ppiEKOKKNL — joe heenan (@joeheenan) January 11, 2020
6.
as long as it keeps bees away from my picnic https://t.co/KaMx8t4VTL — blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) January 11, 2020
7.
I’m holding out for the breath mint. https://t.co/WWebcap3Sr — Curtis Stigers (@curtisstigers) January 11, 2020
8.
Just pre-orderd Gwyneth Paltrow's Under Boob Sweat Potpourri. — Just Bill (@WilliamAder) January 11, 2020
9.
whatever, come back to me when she starts selling vaginas that smell like candles. — chris o'dowd (@BigBoyler) 11 January 2020
10.


thepoke--2020-01-14--‘There was an attempt … to understand a joke’

A good joke is always made better by someone demonstrably not getting it .
‘ There was an attempt … @ @ @ @ @ ’ writes NateM135 over on Reddit .
And lots of people joined in , making @ @ @ @ @ confusing , depending on your start point .
‘ K , maybe I ’ ll @ @ @ @ @ Routman ‘ By the way , I saw Oxygen making out with Magnesium yesterday and @ @ @ @ @ danceswithwool

Pics
‘There was an attempt … to understand a joke,’ writes NateM135 over on Reddit.
And plenty of people joined in, making it even funnier or more confusing, depending on your start point.
‘K, maybe I’ll do one about potassium.’ Routman ‘By the way, I saw Oxygen making out with Magnesium yesterday and I was like OMg.’ danceswithwool ‘Chemistry jokes are funny, periodically.’ danceswithwool
Source Reddit u/NateM135


thepoke--2020-01-14--The takedown of this American trolling British cuisine was simply delicious

A bit like Christmas cake , this takedown never gets old .
It all started when the good people of @ @ @ @ @ on Twitter whether Christmas cake should be eaten with cheese or enjoyed by itself .
@ @ @ @ @ say that someone called @ hotcheetoprncess wasn ’ t impressed .
And the comeback was @ @ @ @ @ in case you were wondering about the answer to the question … Americans don ’ @ @ @ @ @ and people can ’ t get their heads round it

Twitter
A bit like Christmas cake, this takedown never gets old.
It all started when the good people of BBC Yorkshire asked their followers on Twitter whether Christmas cake should be eaten with cheese or enjoyed by itself.
Yorkshire, we have an important question. Christmas cake, with or without cheese? 🎄🧀 pic.twitter.com/cF2RcNFH0N — BBC Yorkshire (@BBCLookNorth) December 5, 2018
It’s fair to say that someone called @hotcheetoprncess wasn’t impressed.
And the comeback was simply delicious.
‘Return to sender,’ said BrokenSwordGYT who shared it on Reddit.
And just in case you were wondering about the answer to the question …
With, or without, for that is the question: — BBC Yorkshire (@BBCLookNorth) December 5, 2018
READ MORE
Americans don’t have egg cups – and people can’t get their heads round it
Source Reddit u/BrokenSwordGYT


thepoke--2020-01-14--This teacher’s message for students on their first day back is funny and very true

This teacher welcomed students back to their first day back at school by putting up this message which is both @ @ @ @ @ ‘ My teacher had this on the first day back from school , ’ says @ @ @ @ @ ‘ That ’ s how i feel when i come back from lunch to work.
@ @ @ @ @ the funniest answers students have given them and they ’ re great

Pics
This teacher welcomed students back to their first day back at school by putting up this message which is both funny and very true.
‘My teacher had this on the first day back from school,’ says Keefkeef6 over on Reddit.
‘Going back to school after a break is like when you pause a video game to go pee and when you come back you forget how intense and chaotic everything was when you paused it and the second you unease it all your enemies collectively punch you in the face. ‘Welcome back suckers! Did you miss me?’
This person begged to differ.
‘That’s how i feel when i come back from lunch to work.’ luturol
READ MORE
Teachers are sharing the funniest answers students have given them and they’re great
Source Reddit u/Keefkeef6


thepoke--2020-01-14--Simply 18 favourite things people said about Boris Johnson’s £500,000 ‘bung a bob for Big Ben Brexit

Simply 18 favourite things people said about Boris Johnson’s £500,000 ‘bung a bob for Big Ben Brexit bongs’

Boris Johnson wants Big Ben to ring out to celebrate Brexit Day at 11pm on 31 January .
Only problem @ @ @ @ @ £500,000 to get the thing – currently undergoing renovation – ringing again .
So he @ @ @ @ @ of asking the public to pay for it .
Or , as he put it @ @ @ @ @ for Big Ben Brexit bongs ’ .
And here are our favourite things people said @ @ @ @ @ was too tall to cross the finish line and it ’ s our favourite London @ @

Pics
Boris Johnson wants Big Ben to ring out to celebrate Brexit Day at 11pm on 31 January. Only problem is it’ll cost £500,000 to get the thing – currently undergoing renovation – ringing again.
So he came up with the idea of asking the public to pay for it. Or, as he put it, ‘bung a bob for Big Ben Brexit bongs’.
“The bongs cost £500,000… but we’re working up a plan so that people can bung a bob for a Big Ben bong” Boris Johnson says “we need to restore the clapper, in order to bong Big Ben on Brexit night, and that is expensive”#BBCBreakfast https://t.co/4A3CjflbN3 pic.twitter.com/0BXiu1DYkp — BBC Politics (@BBCPolitics) January 14, 2020
And here are our favourite things people said about that.
1.
https://twitter.com/SpillerOfTea/status/1217021138418765824?s=20
2.
I'm just putting this out there – a recording of Alan Partridge shouting "Dan!!" to replace the Big Ben chimes. — Jason (@NickMotown) January 14, 2020
3.
I’ve done the maths and it would only take 20m Leave voters to pay 2.5 pence each to reach the £500,000 to get their Big Ben bongs — Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) January 14, 2020
4.
Instead of asking the public to crowd source half a million quid so a clock can bong just get everyone who cares about Brexit to set an alarm at home and then spend the money on something else like the NHS or space raiders or something this country is so weird — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) January 14, 2020
5.
we should knock down big ben. piece of shit clock. doesn't even show the date or your steps. — normal account (good) (@egg_dog) January 14, 2020
6.
Big Ben implies the presence of smaller, or perhaps even bigger Bens. — Eddie Bowley (@Eddache_) January 14, 2020
7.
Guarantee that the people willing to contribute towards Big Ben going bong for brexit at the cost of £45,454 per bong are the exact same people who look at news of hungry kids across the UK and think “yeah this is sad but I don’t want it solved if it means paying more tax” — James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 14, 2020
8.
Look if listening to the sounds of a hastily-restored clock bell ringing out in a small, non-residential area of London doesn't heal the political divisions in our country, it is hard to say what will. — Stig Abell (@StigAbell) January 14, 2020
9.
Asking the UK to pay half a million quid for something that only people within a 9 mile radius (at best) can hear is about as good a metaphor for how self serving and detached from the rest of the country Boris Johnson is. — HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) January 14, 2020
10.
On the one hand, this is truly pathetic. On the other, it's infinitely preferable to spending taxpayers' money. What a time to be alive. https://t.co/oyW9m5Cdkh — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) January 14, 2020
11.
So thrilled that the nation has taken my Big Ben Bonging for Brexit campaign to their hearts. When I first came up with idea i wasn't actually sure if anyone would take it seriously. But you have.
Just imagine if I'd had a parody account that came up with the idea first!! 🇬🇧 https://t.co/Kb3aceSJeX — Mark ne-Francois-pas MP 🇬🇧 (@MarkFrancois12) January 14, 2020
12.
‘Bung a bob for a Big Ben bong!’ is only the start. Immediately after that comes ‘bung a few billion for lost growth, unemployment, increased division, loss of global influence and a threat to peace in Northern Ireland’. — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) January 14, 2020
13.
Boris Johnson: “Bong bong. Bung a bob a bong. Flim flummery free trade indefatigability bong. Wibble-bibble marmalade uplands bong”.
BBC Breakfast (wanking): “GUIDE ME O THOU GREAT REDEEMER” — Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) January 14, 2020
14.
You can get a bong for 20 quid in Camden. What kind of mad upper class nonsense is this. https://t.co/n7dd8RCRxs — Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) January 14, 2020
15.
Baskerville, my two year old, just stormed downstairs. “Daddy. 13.4 million people (that’s 21% of the population) are living in poverty,” she said, furiously. “Meanwhile, Boris Johnson thinks that crowdfunding a Big Ben bong is a good idea. Christ almighty, he’s such a cunt.” — Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) January 14, 2020
16.
Actually, Big Ben is the name of the inventor. The clock is called Big Ben’s monster. — paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) January 14, 2020
17.
Boris Johnson is considering setting up a public fund to raise £500,000 so that Big Ben can bong on Brexit night. He is prioritising cash for vanity projects rather than essentials. He should be raising money to help the 320,000 people who are homeless.#bigbenbong #homelessness — James Melville (@JamesMelville) January 14, 2020
18.
Make Big Ben bong by striking it with Mark Francois's head Something for everyone there I think you'll agree — General Boles (@GeneralBoles) January 14, 2020
READ MORE
Big Ben was too tall to cross the finish line and it’s our favourite London Marathon moment
Images Pixabay and Pixabay


thepoke--2020-01-14--Someone left a message on the iPhone this woman found – and it couldn’t be better

When Katalin Sara Meagher lost her phone , she may well have wondered if she ’ d ever see it @ @ @ @ @ – and there was a bonus .
There was a very enthusiastic response to the @ @ @ @ @ .
Someone thought one of the characters might make a good meme .
And Twitter @ @ @ @ @ is , “ some French dude ” turned up… As did the chaotic good main @ @ @ @ @ out to be Nicole .
If these don ’ t become best friends , then @ @ @ @ @ seen in a Richard Curtis film has been a complete lie .
Oh …

Videos
When Katalin Sara Meagher lost her phone, she may well have wondered if she’d ever see it again, but she did – and there was a bonus.
lost my phone in the alps in a club and someone handed it into the bar ! i found this vid the next day and i love her please twitter help pic.twitter.com/qf3D0L2XMM — sarameagher (@SaraMeagher1) January 12, 2020
But I love you, but are you stupid man?
There was a very enthusiastic response to the video and its compact cast.
this is the definition of chaotic good https://t.co/naGs5cWCNM — moth dad (@innesmck) January 13, 2020
Drunk girls at clubs have the highest form of solidarity. And it makes me think of intersectional matriarchy. https://t.co/E6oCyO7YzY — Nacho (@Nacho_Babe) January 13, 2020
i would watch a feature-length version of this https://t.co/FYSgyekznR — Anthony Oliveira (@meakoopa) January 13, 2020
Someone thought one of the characters might make a good meme.
He is a meme pic.twitter.com/N6Nr7Iild3 — Simon Murdoch 📻📱 (@Simon_Murdoch) 13 January 2020
And Twitter being the international medium it is, “some French dude” turned up…
it’s way too funny one of my funniest night ever — Jules (@sumfrrenchdood) 13 January 2020
As did the chaotic good main character, whose name turned out to be Nicole.
hahahhahah, I can’t evenn mann, so yeahh i’m the girl in the video 🤭🤭 — nicole (@nicole19009991) 13 January 2020
If these don’t become best friends, then everything we’ve ever seen in a Richard Curtis film has been a complete lie. Oh …
Source @sarameagher1 Image @sarameagher1


thepoke--2020-01-14--People have been sharing ‘amazing but true’ stories about themselves – 15 jaw-dropping favourites

It began when Adrian Moher asked people to send him their amazing but true stories on Twitter .
And he @ @ @ @ @ a response , he got a HUGE response , with people sharing some real jaw-dropping @ @ @ @ @ 15 favourites .
And this last one ’ s more than a little NSFW so @ @ @ @ @ didn ’ t warn you .
“ What ’ s the biggest problem you have @ @ @ @ @ Our 16 favourite responses

Popular
It began when Adrian Moher asked people to send him their amazing but true stories on Twitter.
Tell me a story about yourself the sounds like a lie but is absolutely true. — Aidan Moher (@adribbleofink) January 4, 2020
And he didn’t just get a response, he got a HUGE response, with people sharing some real jaw-dropping tales. Here are our 15 favourites.
1.
https://twitter.com/emilychyanne_/status/1214767491647516672
2.
In college I fell out of my bunk bed and broke both of my legs and one arm. Years later on a date, I made a joke about being clumsy and the dude told me I couldn’t compare to this woman his EMT brother helped once … who fell out of her bunk and broke all the bones. It was me. https://t.co/TQSEwXK4rw — Amanda Nell Edgar (@amandanelledgar) January 7, 2020
3.
My middle name is literally a fucking typo. My mom had a c section and forgot to write the rest of Nicole due to the drugs, she fell asleep and they took the paperwork, wouldn’t give it back and now my middle name is Ni https://t.co/SYbP92eN9r — Lil L (@lindsey_ni) January 8, 2020
4.
Alan Rickman once walked past my mum bollocking me and my brother in the street for misbehaving, interrupted her and told us to be as naughty as possible 'by order of the Sherrif of Nottingham!' https://t.co/r8Q32zy28s — Tom McArthur (@TomMcArthur) January 10, 2020
5.
my identical twin brother was voted most attractive in the yearbook and I wasn’t nominated https://t.co/2aC6fRWvIa — Michael Benjamin (@mfbenji) January 10, 2020
6.
I lost my wallet. A man texted me telling me he found it and was bringing it to me. It never showed, he texted me weeks later saying he got in a motorcycle crash otw to me. Texted back, “If ur gonna steal it just tell me.” He eventually showed up with 2 broken arms and my wallet. https://t.co/ow3ix1MVpR — Noah (@NoahCampaign) January 10, 2020
7.
One time I saw Samuel L. Jackson at an airport and he saw me and my cousin hovering around trying to gain the courage to ask him for a photo and then he came over to us and said "Y'all motherfuckers want a photo?" And it was everything. https://t.co/bipmioXtWp — tyler (@spacedtyler) January 10, 2020
8.
Not about me but— my grandmother Mulan-ed her way through WW2 by pretending to be a man so she wouldn’t be raped by the japanese and was even recruited by the Americans to fight in the Korean war https://t.co/ENWKznBmBm — Incognerdo (@continueY_N) January 9, 2020
9.
In college a friend found an ID of a dude over 21 who looked just like me. I used it like a charm for months. Then I went to a club and a bouncer starting asking me what’s my address and birthday and shit. I finally said “dude it’s me” and he replied “no dude, it’s ME”. It was. https://t.co/gUW03MxUc3 — Sweep The Leg (@SweepTheLeg337) January 7, 2020
10.
https://twitter.com/ciamarsh/status/1215651251096039424
11.
I got caught cheating in my college trig class and I prayed to God to help me out and then my trig professor died suddenly and never got the chance to report it https://t.co/M339KTdsdU — osama bin lovin (@ibrayeet) January 8, 2020
12.
Once accidentally kidnapped a drunk man who was trying to get into his own home. Saw him slumped by the road, coaxed him into the cab to ‘take him home safely’ and ignored his slurry protests. Some 30 mins of confusing directions later and we… end up at exactly the same place. https://t.co/cwj43Fig8g — Sara Spary (@saramayspary) January 7, 2020
13.
I once burglarized a home & stole a safe. I cracked the safe & discovered photos of the owner molesting a child. He reported the burglary to police. I turned the photos in. The cops called him in to discuss the burglary. He confessed. We both went to prison. https://t.co/yxpFN30qgv — Matthew Hahn (@hahnscratch) January 7, 2020
14.
https://twitter.com/NatalieZed/status/1215034978234449920
15.
When I was 9, on Christmas Eve I drank 20 cans of coke in the space of 2 hours, ended up in hospital 4am Christmas morning with caffeine poisoning, then weeks later my mams friend told her a story about a boy who did that and she had to admit to her that it was me, her stupid son https://t.co/o4MazmacQn — ciarán (@Sheil_0) January 8, 2020
And this last one’s more than a little NSFW so don’t say we didn’t warn you.
https://twitter.com/_ayannaE/status/1215389586223923201
READ MORE
“What’s the biggest problem you have with your name?” Our 16 favourite responses


thepoke--2020-01-14--13 wonderfully chaotic seconds of bear cubs trying to climb into a hammock

When everything is going to Hell in a handcart , as some might suggest they are now , what better @ @ @ @ @ pressure than to watch young animals being cute ?
These bear cubs are giving it @ @ @ @ @ get into a tempting hammock , but they can ’ t quite work out how @ @ @ @ @ t a metaphor for life , I don ’ t know what is .

Videos
When everything is going to Hell in a handcart, as some might suggest they are now, what better way to lower the blood pressure than to watch young animals being cute?
These bear cubs are giving it the old college try to get into a tempting hammock, but they can’t quite work out how.
If that isn’t a metaphor for life, I don’t know what is.
Redditor luminouspotato found it pretty relatable.
Not far off what I look like tryna get into a hammock.
Source Reddit Image Reddit


thepoke--2020-01-14--This guy invents ridiculous conspiracy theories to avoid political arguments with his dad and it’s n

This guy invents ridiculous conspiracy theories to avoid political arguments with his dad and it’s next-level stuff

Of all the things you can talk about with your parents ( or your in-laws ) one area best avoided @ @ @ @ @ , more than ever .
But it ’ s not always easy steering the conversation @ @ @ @ @ Brexit or Donald Trump or Jeremy Corbyn ( whatever happened to him ? )
.
@ @ @ @ @ a next-level method , although it turned out it ’ s not without its complications @ @ @ @ @ Reddit by someone who calls themselves doubled-or-nothing and shared by @ redditships on Twitter .
@ @ @ @ @ ” of the conspiracy theory and got murdered by words

Popular
Of all the things you can talk about with your parents (or your in-laws) one area best avoided is surely politics. Now, more than ever.
But it’s not always easy steering the conversation away from Boris Johnson or Brexit or Donald Trump or Jeremy Corbyn (whatever happened to him?).
This guy came up with a next-level method, although it turned out it’s not without its complications.
It was posted on Reddit by someone who calls themselves doubled-or-nothing and shared by @redditships on Twitter.
And people loved it.
NTA, a genius, and I challenge the OP to wear a tin foil hat at every family gathering from now on to really drive the point home. — Wow! Cait’hullu (@wowcait) 29 December 2019
No, keep the hat in a bag and only put it on when the dad starts talking politics — Toga stan (@e_b0t) 29 December 2019
nta – op’s father is a cheap imitation of a chaos god, blissfully unaware that his child was the true bearer of the title until now. — diana 🌚 (@missexposition) 29 December 2019
In short …
READ MORE
A flat-Earther posted “proof” of the conspiracy theory and got murdered by words
H/T @redditships Source Reddit u/doubled-or-nothing Image screengrab BBC


thepoke--2020-01-14--Wagamama got Piers Morgan riled over their vegan tuna all over again

Food chain Wagamama has introduced a new tuna substitute for vegans , made from watermelon , and it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ including Piers Morgan .
Here ’ s how they announced the new dish .
He @ @ @ @ @ Morning Britain , where Susanna Reid did her best to talk sense into him .
@ @ @ @ @ riled him even more .
Piers might want to get that IQ checked out .
@ @ @ @ @ t happy about Wagamama ’ s vegan tuna and their response was delicious

Twitter
Food chain Wagamama has introduced a new tuna substitute for vegans, made from watermelon, and it’s seriously triggered some people, including Piers Morgan. Here’s how they announced the new dish.
welcome to the bench our new vegan suika tuna. yep you read that right. vegan tuna. now, that’s next wave. but catch it while you can. available exclusively for #veganuary only 🌊#vegantuna pic.twitter.com/CQLIB5mXRh — wagamama uk (@wagamama_uk) January 2, 2020
And here’s Piers Morgan’s reaction.
Tuna is a fish.
Vegans don't eat fish.
So this is a pathetic lie designed to con the vegan-deluded public. https://t.co/TtgrouJt2n — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) January 8, 2020
He continued the rant on Good Morning Britain, where Susanna Reid did her best to talk sense into him.
no animals were harmed in the making of our new vegan tuna…just @piersmorgan’s feelings pic.twitter.com/PCKc4cVgze — wagamama uk (@wagamama_uk) January 13, 2020
Wagamama’s tweet just riled him even more.
via Gfycat
Anyway…here are a few funny reactions.
1.
Nobody tell him Bombay Duck is actually fish. He’ll start trolling India. https://t.co/HnazDlWDPZ — Shappi Khorsandi (@ShappiKhorsandi) January 13, 2020
2.
It’s not Dog, stop lying. pic.twitter.com/5XGu1x3GhW — Matthias Eberl 🇪🇺 (@eberlmat) 13 January 2020
3.
Cut to Piers in Tesco, screaming at beef tomatoes https://t.co/FhPuWpXZ9p — Roisin O'Connor (@Roisin_OConnor) January 14, 2020
4.
Back to your safe space @piersmorgan. Seriously, why does a restaurant you don't have to visit, offering a dish you don't have to order upset you so much. So many breakdowns just because companies are trying to take vegan's money as well as everyone else's #snowflake https://t.co/CgqEZJqKXY — Andy Kingston (@andykingston87) January 14, 2020
5.
6.
Says the man who calls himself a journalist https://t.co/pyuUcRtUpF — Volumiser_AFC (@Volumiser_AFC) January 13, 2020
7.
Your mind must be blown every Christmas when you eat mince pies — Stephen Minihane (@SMinihane87) 13 January 2020
The aptly named Joe Plant had a question.
What do you call “artificial plants”, Piers? These are vegan meat replicas and it’s perfectly reasonable to name them after the thing they’re trying to replicate. Only someone with an IQ lower that 80 would be confused. — Joe Plant (@Joseph_Plant) 13 January 2020
Piers might want to get that IQ checked out.
READ MORE
Claire from Steps wasn’t happy about Wagamama’s vegan tuna and their response was delicious
Source Wagamama Image Wagamama ITV


thepoke--2020-01-14--The MRI scan of this pug will haunt your dreams

Over on Twitter podcaster Andy Richter went wildly viral after he shared an MRI scan of a friend ’ s @ @ @ @ @ like this .
‘ My friend ’ s pug went to the vet , ’ @ @ @ @ @ be filed under ‘ once seen , never unseen ’ .
And just in case @ @ @ @ @ dog looks just like its penis ( more than a bit NSFW , obviously )

Pics
Over on Twitter podcaster Andy Richter went wildly viral after he shared an MRI scan of a friend’s pug.
‘My friend’s pug went to the vet,’ said @AndyRichter.
To be filed under ‘once seen, never unseen’.
Please tell me this is real omg — Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) 18 December 2019
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) 18 December 2019
Doctor: “The derp has spread throughout his entire body now, there’s nothing we can do.” — ɪʟᴛʜʏ ℌɪᴘᴘɪᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴏɪɴᴄʟᴏᴛʜ (@droctopu5) 17 December 2019
In the interests of comparing and contrasting, there was this, from @HylianTom.
‘Awww.. nice coronal view! Are his sinuses congested? (Here’s a human’s scan for comparison.)’
(googling “how to remove my face”) — ozzy, offline 2020 ⚕ (@ozzythepainter) 17 December 2019
And just in case you were wondering.
I let my friend know his dog has gone viral, and he told her. She has a clean bill of health, btw pic.twitter.com/MlPrEU12Fp — Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) 18 December 2019
READ MORE
This dog looks just like its penis (more than a bit NSFW, obviously)
Source Twitter @AndyRichter H/T TwentyTwoWords Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-01-14--This woman pranked a guy who gave her his number by pretending he’d adopted a chimp

It can be a slightly uneasy moment when someone gives you their number even when you haven ’ t asked @ @ @ @ @ it happened to us once back in the day , when we solved it by @ @ @ @ @ we ’ d actually quite like to have rung them .
Anyway , this woman @ @ @ @ @ went a bloke sent her his number .
She did this .
And it didn @ @ @ @ @ poor chap .
The way this guy got this woman ’ s number after he @ @ @ @ @ is creeping people out

Popular
It can be a slightly uneasy moment when someone gives you their number even when you haven’t asked them for it. Think it happened to us once back in the day, when we solved it by instantly losing it even though we’d actually quite like to have rung them.
Anyway, this woman took a slightly different approach went a bloke sent her his number. She did this.
And it didn’t stop there, poor chap.
STOP!
READ MORE
The way this guy got this woman’s number after he met her on the train is creeping people out
Source BoredPanda


thepoke--2020-01-14--A bride stopped her cousin from announcing her engagement at her wedding and the internet’s on her s

A bride stopped her cousin from announcing her engagement at her wedding and the internet’s on her side

A bride ’ s got the fear after she stepped in to ban her cousin from announcing her engagement at her wedding because she didn ’ t want anything to detract from her big day .
Now she ’ s worried that she might have done the wrong thing so she went to the place people always go when they have this kind of moral dilemma .
She went to Reddit .
And it turned out she need not have worried because in response to her question AITA – ‘ Am I The Asshole ?
’ – the pretty much @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ‘ You don ’ t get to hijack someone else ’ s event to make it your event .
And wtf kind of do thinks this is ok ?
?
?
As it ’ s your anniversary you will be otherwise occupied.
’ AnarchoNAP ‘ It was your day !
Incredibly rude !
Furthermore , he should have asked you first and you could have politely said no , saving any embarrassment .
Morons.
’ PartyCat78 ‘ That is EXTREMELY tacky of someone to do !
!
!
!
To propose at your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ is AWFUL .
This person isn ’ t even someone you know !
!
And they didn ’ t even ASK you , he just DID it ?
!
?
!
?
!
JESUS Trash .
Your nana sucks.
’ zukka924 This woman took sweet revenge on the bridesmaid who spoiled her wedding with her engagement announcement

Popular
This bride got the fear after she stepped in to ban her cousin from announcing her engagement at her wedding because she didn’t want anything to detract from her big day.
Now she’s worried that she might have done the wrong thing so she went to the place people always go when they have this kind of moral dilemma.
She went to Reddit.
And it turned out she need not have worried because in response to her question AITA – ‘Am I The Asshole?’ – the pretty much unanimous response was ‘No’.
‘You don’t get to hijack someone else’s event to make it your event. And wtf kind of do thinks this is ok??? As it’s your anniversary you will be otherwise occupied.’ AnarchoNAP ‘It was your day! Incredibly rude! Furthermore, he should have asked you first and you could have politely said no, saving any embarrassment. Morons.’ PartyCat78 ‘That is EXTREMELY tacky of someone to do!!!! To propose at your wedding? Holy crap. Your family is AWFUL. This person isn’t even someone you know!! And they didn’t even ASK you, he just DID it?!?!?! JESUS Trash. Your nana sucks.’ zukka924
READ MORE
This woman took sweet revenge on the bridesmaid who spoiled her wedding with her engagement announcement
Source Reddit newyearsameshit2020 H/T Someecards Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-01-14--Simply 7 weird optical illusions to blow your mind

Over on TikTok , Evan @ thecardguy has been freaking everyone out with his weird optical illusions that make us @ @ @ @ @ different way , thankfully only for a short time .
See if they work on @ @ @ @ @ you see colours that aren ’ t there 5 .
Turns your own eyes into @ @ @ @ @ everything move in a really odd way 7 .
Are you in the 30 per @ @ @ @ @ this illusion ?
This last one ’ s a bit different – it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ thecardguy on TikTok or Instagram for more of the same , plus jokes and @ @ @

Videos
Over on TikTok, Evan @thecardguy has been freaking everyone out with his weird optical illusions that make us see the world in a different way, thankfully only for a short time.
See if they work on you.
1. Makes everything swirl
2. makes your palm look alive
3. Makes you see colours that aren’t there
4. Makes the floor stretch
5. Turns your own eyes into a projector
6. Makes everything move in a really odd way
7. Are you in the 30 per cent who are affected by this illusion?
This last one’s a bit different – it’s a physical challenge.
Follow @thecardguy on TikTok or Instagram for more of the same, plus jokes and card tricks.
Source @thecardguy Image @thecardguy


thepoke--2020-01-14--The Jezebel site got murdered with words – their own words

The Jezebel website and social media accounts are framed as being content for women , and they describe themselves as @ @ @ @ @ ” on their homepage .
They recently attracted some serious criticism for posting this : @ @ @ @ @ , such as These are a couple of examples of the criticism they received on @ @ @ @ @ winner of the Putting Jezebel in its Place competition was this … The superb own @ @ @ @ @ made its way onto the r/murderedbywords subreddit , where Redditors added these comments .
I @ @ @ @ @ the guy , and they make an article about his goatee .
I even like @ @ @ @ @ t it a matter of opinion ?
Someone got paid to write this instead of @ @ @ @ @ kinda wish it was illegal .
Reddit user bxxgeyman had this depressing addition to the @ @

Popular
The Jezebel website and social media accounts are framed as being content for women, and they describe themselves as “Supposedly a feminist website” on their homepage.
They recently attracted some serious criticism for posting this:
Timotheé Chalamet grew a hideous little goatee and it sucks https://t.co/U0vdlwaFaV pic.twitter.com/OjWLl0LAsZ — Jezebel (@Jezebel) January 9, 2020
The article contained charming lines, such as
“Look at that thing. Do you think it moves when the wind hits it? I’m gonna barf.”
These are a couple of examples of the criticism they received on Twitter.
this is why artists hate the internet bc y'all rude and disrespectful as shit https://t.co/z6zKnU8Wwq — cole ✌🏻 (@90spreston) January 10, 2020
imagine going to college for journalism just to become a tepid cyberbully https://t.co/rJoC7xnzKO — madelyn 🏁🌺 (@thebikefortwo) January 10, 2020
But the outright winner of the Putting Jezebel in its Place competition was this …
Hey I found this article you might want to read. I’d send you the link but I think you already have it. pic.twitter.com/LI2MX9fyOm — Sarah McGonagall (@sarahmcgphoto) January 11, 2020
The superb own was so good, it made its way onto the r/murderedbywords subreddit, where Redditors added these comments.
Yeah honestly screw Jezebel. It’s a corporate entity with articles written by trust fund kids, co-opting Feminism. It’s mean and lazy writing. pearomatic
I don’t even know the guy, and they make an article about his goatee. I even like it tbh, isn’t it a matter of opinion? Someone got paid to write this instead of making a respectable article… I kinda wish it was illegal. CuddleSpooks
Yeah but we’re boys, we’re soulless and don’t have feelings…Ugh… Kyncayd
Reddit user bxxgeyman had this depressing addition to the discussion.
“Imagine expecting any company or corporation to have integrity in 2020“
via Gfycat
Source Reddit Image Jezebel, Paramount (Fair use)


thepoke--2020-01-14--The size of this “large” fern is a hilarious reminder to ask for proper details

Small , medium and large are only relative terms .
A small glass of wine is very different to a @ @ @ @ @ ’ re kidding yourself .
So , when Riley Leight agreed to buy a “ @ @ @ @ @ didn ’ t have a clue what they were letting themself in for .
Riley @ @ @ @ @ , picking up 52,000 retweets in a day , and the follow-up tweets were in @ @ @ @ @ Someone thought Riley might as well admit defeat and allow the eviction to happen quietly @ @ @ @ @ her own room .
With a certain inevitability , this happened .
All that remains @ @ @ @ @ get its own social media accounts and we ’ re very much here for that @

Weird World
Small, medium and large are only relative terms. A small glass of wine is very different to a small cappuccino, unless you’re kidding yourself.
So, when Riley Leight agreed to buy a “large” fern, they didn’t have a clue what they were letting themself in for.
i bought a fern that was simply described as “large” and i did not know what the fuck i was getting myself into pic.twitter.com/91TdduRzCF — riley (@RileyRLeight) January 12, 2020
Riley’s tweet went viral, picking up 52,000 retweets in a day, and the follow-up tweets were in no way a disappointment.
i paid $40 for this from a nice older couple who also gave me a jar of honey they collected from their own backyard and i’m just sitting here in shock staring at my gigantic daughter — riley (@RileyRLeight) 12 January 2020
no matter where we put it it looks menacingly gigantic pic.twitter.com/jdwQLytGiZ — riley (@RileyRLeight) 12 January 2020
if i post more pictures will y’all leave me alone pic.twitter.com/9i7kumYGqe — riley (@RileyRLeight) 13 January 2020
people keep asking about the pot/stand so here it is pic.twitter.com/BXEPgptXGg — riley (@RileyRLeight) 13 January 2020
A lot of people had thoughts …
If you don’t name it Fernadette I’m going to be disappointed — goddess savannah 🖤 (@YourGoddessSav) 13 January 2020
this is the only name suggestion i’ve liked so far 😂😂 — riley (@RileyRLeight) 13 January 2020
With fronds like these who needs enemies https://t.co/6XPIds4uf8 — Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm) January 13, 2020
möther sëttle mē in my new høme — Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) 12 January 2020
Someone thought Riley might as well admit defeat and allow the eviction to happen quietly.
So, where are YOU moving to?
The fern lives there now, owns the place. — (((Im🍑 the MF))) (@CurlyGirlGlass) 12 January 2020
this is genuinely how i feel LOL — riley (@RileyRLeight) 12 January 2020
…or just give Fernadette her own room.
So healthy! What a prize! Give her her own room and let her decorate it however she wants it. — Jen Phillips, but older (@ClutchScience) 12 January 2020
With a certain inevitability, this happened.
All that remains is for the plant to get its own social media accounts and we’re very much here for that.
Source @RileyRLeight Image @RileyRLeight


thepoke--2020-01-14--Gwyneth Paltrow as candles – with names Yankee would never sanction (NSFW)

We get that we should probably stop talking , writing or even thinking about Gwyneth Paltrow ’ s vagina candle @ @ @ @ @ saw this , we couldn ’ t help but appreciate the effort RiotGrl had put @ @ @ @ @ your entertainment , here ’ s probably the last vagina candle post we ’ ll @ @ @ @ @ names of the candles .

Pics
We get that we should probably stop talking, writing or even thinking about Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina candle now, but when we saw this, we couldn’t help but appreciate the effort RiotGrl had put in.
So, for your entertainment, here’s probably the last vagina candle post we’ll do. Check out the names of the candles.
1.
Gwyneth Paltrow as a Candle: Thread pic.twitter.com/fzVVxyB6dO — .:RiotGrl:. (@RiotGrlErin) 12 January 2020
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
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thepoke--2020-01-14--Zac Goldsmith lost his Commons seat but gained a peerage – the only 5 reactions you need

If you were wondering what happened to the former MPs who lost their seats in 2019 , and you probably @ @ @ @ @ saw the next step in the career of multi-millionaire Zac Goldsmith , former MP for @ @ @ @ @ lost his seat in the Commons , but waltzed straight back into power with a @ @ @ @ @ friend , Boris Johnson .
To some people , the move didn ’ t seem @ @ @ @ @ spirit of democracy , and these five reactions captured that feeling perfectly .
SNP parliamentary @ @ @ @ @ used Goldsmith ’ s own words to make this scathing point .

News
If you were wondering what happened to the former MPs who lost their seats in 2019, and you probably weren’t, Monday saw the next step in the career of multi-millionaire Zac Goldsmith, former MP for Richmond.
He may have lost his seat in the Commons, but waltzed straight back into power with a peerage awarded by his good friend, Boris Johnson.
Environment minister Zac Goldsmith is being introduced to the House of Lordshttps://t.co/YzgePpVuUu pic.twitter.com/RqvgJs5sO2 — BBC Parliament (@BBCParliament) January 13, 2020
To some people, the move didn’t seem to be in the best spirit of democracy, and these five reactions captured that feeling perfectly.
1.
Voted out as an MP last month, back this month as a Lord. Wanted out of the unelected EU. pic.twitter.com/IkDh67hccX — James Felton (@JimMFelton) January 13, 2020
2.
Defeated at the ballot box one month ago. Now back, by the extraordinary rules of British democracy. https://t.co/S28plriC7V — Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) January 13, 2020
3.
Zac Goldsmith once criticised the EU for being "accountable to no-one". But after being rejected by the voters twice he finally gave up on democracy and became a Lord. pic.twitter.com/Vw5YwSO3e5 — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) January 13, 2020
4.
“I, Zacaharius, Lord Goldsmith of Richmond Park.” He’s literally made himself Lord of where he’s been chucked out. Like Anthony Worral Thompson making himself Lord of Tesco’s. — Tom Peck (@tompeck) January 13, 2020
5.
Why does he look like the evil suitor in a romantic period drama who has just had his masterplan to ascend the throne foiled https://t.co/uHKBsFkaep — Sarah Manavis (@sarahmanavis) January 13, 2020
SNP parliamentary researcher, Matt Hamill, used Goldsmith’s own words to make this scathing point.
"The most important characteristic of any democracy is that it should be possible for voters to evict those who act in their name. The EU fails on that test. Real power in Brussels rests in institutions that are accountable to no one." Zac Goldsmith, 2016 https://t.co/hNxcPnIv3Q — Matt Hamill (@Mattph_82) January 13, 2020
Source BBC Image BBC


thepoke--2020-01-13--Sean Lock’s epic ‘Carrot in a Box’ bluff on Eight Out of 10 Cats is a very funny watch

Sean Lock playing ‘ Carrot in a Box ’ on Eight Out of 10 Cats went viral all over again @ @ @ @ @ Reddit and it ’ s a very funny watch .
You know what ’ s @ @ @ @ @ least you think you do – but it ’ s still very funny .
Actually @ @ @ @ @ the reason it ’ s so funny ( we probably shouldn ’ t think about @ @ @ @ @ But that wasn ’ t the end of it because it turned out there was @ @ @ @ @ Mortimer ’ s story about Chris Rea and an egg in the bath is Would @ @ @ @ @ ’ s best moment

Videos
Sean Lock playing ‘Carrot in a Box’ on Eight Out of 10 Cats went viral all over again after it was shared on Reddit and it’s a very funny watch.
You know what’s going to happen – at least you think you do – but it’s still very funny. Actually, maybe that’s the reason it’s so funny (we probably shouldn’t think about it too much).
But that wasn’t the end of it because it turned out there was a ROUND TWO.
READ MORE
Bob Mortimer’s story about Chris Rea and an egg in the bath is Would I Lie To You?’s best moment
Source Reddit YouTube Streamable


thepoke--2020-01-13--‘Lovely sequinned cushion for sale. Think it’s John Lennon’

Someone left a message on the iPhone this woman found - and it could n't be better

Pics
For sale: a ‘lovely sequinned cushion’ that was an unwanted gift, highlighted by @StateofSelling on Twitter.
‘Think it’s John Lennon.’
Paul McCartney, surely?
I prefer the one with both John and Paul pic.twitter.com/J7vMTJqrHl — Kevin Bremner (@Floydman71) January 12, 2020
Imagine — The Big Booze Man (@Im_sprouticus) January 12, 2020
READ MORE
“Paul McCartney’s new album could do with a catchier title”
Source Twitter @StateofSelling


thepoke--2020-01-13--This guy’s girlfriend got rather less than she bargained for ‘adopting’ a Koala

You ’ ll be familiar with the idea of ‘ adopting ’ an animal , from a cute fluffy thing at your local zoo to something less cuddly and much further away .
Less familiar , at least among people who have reached adulthood , is the perception that if you ‘ adopt ’ one of these animals you actually , you know , adopt them .
So imagine this woman ’ s disappointment when she found out that wasn ’ t true .
Bunbasaur : ‘ I ’ m hoping she was super drunk otherwise I can only assume @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ MisterEd_ak : ‘ I don ’ t think you are koalafied to keep one as a pet.
’ It ’ s probably for the best .
randoman99 : ‘ You do not want a koala for a pet .
They may look cuddly , but they ’ re wild animals .
They also require a very specific diet , so unless you ’ re an expert you ’ d probably just end up killing the poor thing .
If you ’ re lucky , before it chews your finger off .
And @ @ @ @ @ @ @ they ’ re a protected species , so it ’ s illegal to keep one as a pet.
’ Just to confirm in case anyone is still in doubt … adriannaallison : ‘ World Wildlife Federation does a donation program where you pick the animal you want to adopt .
Your donation goes to help the type of animal you chose .
They send you a little book about the animal , and a stuffed toy version of the animal .
My son got one for his girlfriend for Valentine ’ s one @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Might be the closest she can get since they won ’ t give her the real thing…lol ’ Koala gets so excited it runs head-first into a tree

Twitter
You’ll be familiar with the idea of ‘adopting’ an animal, from a cute fluffy thing at your local zoo to something less cuddly and much further away.
Less familiar, at least among people who have reached adulthood, is the perception that if you ‘adopt’ one of these animals you actually, you know, adopt them.
So imagine this woman’s disappointment when she found out that wasn’t true.
Bunbasaur: ‘I’m hoping she was super drunk otherwise I can only assume your girlfriend is about 7 years old.’ MisterEd_ak: ‘I don’t think you are koalafied to keep one as a pet.’
It’s probably for the best.
randoman99: ‘You do not want a koala for a pet. They may look cuddly, but they’re wild animals. They also require a very specific diet, so unless you’re an expert you’d probably just end up killing the poor thing. If you’re lucky, before it chews your finger off. And if that’s not enough, they’re a protected species, so it’s illegal to keep one as a pet.’
Just to confirm in case anyone is still in doubt …
adriannaallison: ‘World Wildlife Federation does a donation program where you pick the animal you want to adopt. Your donation goes to help the type of animal you chose. They send you a little book about the animal, and a stuffed toy version of the animal. My son got one for his girlfriend for Valentine’s one year and it even came with chocolates. Might be the closest she can get since they won’t give her the real thing…lol’
READ MORE
Koala gets so excited it runs head-first into a tree
Source Reddit u/pandametaphor Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-01-15--Question (and answer) of the week

Question (and answer) of the week

This exchange wins our question ( and answer ) of the week .

Pics
This exchange wins our question (and answer) of the week.
READ MORE
10 video games with more honest titles
Source Reddit u/Lutzelien


thepoke--2020-01-15--‘If Instagram would’ve existed 20 years ago’

This children 's jacket has a 'hand-me-down trail ' for when it gets passed on and it 's rather lovely

Videos
This is what Instagram would have looked like had it existed 20 years ago, as shared by Redditor gendabenda11.
READ MORE
If Facebook had been on Teletext
Source Reddit u/gendabenda11


thepoke--2020-01-15--This children’s jacket has a ‘hand-me-down trail’ for when it gets passed on and it’s rather lovely

It ’ s also making a rather good point on behalf of the manufacturer , as this person pointed out @ @ @ @ @ number 4 , asked iswearitsnotme001 .

Pics
This coat has a label specially designed to help kids (and their parents) if they are coming to it second, or even third hand.
And it’s practical AND cute!
‘My Kid’s Jacket Has Multiple Name Spaces to Facilitate Hand-Me-Downs,’ writes Redditor budgetpc0217.
It’s also making a rather good point on behalf of the manufacturer, as this person pointed out.
‘Dang they saying, “hey we last a long time”.’ JackSword5
But what about kid number 4, asked iswearitsnotme001.
‘They’ll be fine if their name is L.L.Bean tho.’ 73656e646e75646573
READ MORE
A Parent’s Honest Guide to a Young Child’s Bedtime
Source Reddit u/budgetpc0217


thepoke--2020-01-15--This photo of a wedding under a volcanic eruption is beautiful and terrifying

Crash , bang , wallop – what a picture !
A wedding taking place under a volcanic eruption , shared @ @ @ @ @ ’ s from the Philippines , just in case you ’ re wondering .
‘ @ @ @ @ @ has a reason why these two should not be married , speak now or forever @ @ @ @ @ !
!
!
!
!
!
!
.
’ InexactDuplicate Wedding Photo Of The Week @ @ @ @ @ another week )

Pics
Crash, bang, wallop – what a picture!
Just an amazing photograph of a wedding taking place under a volcanic eruption, shared by Redditor sherwinner1992.
It’s from the Philippines, just in case you’re wondering.
‘If any of you has a reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your ….’ Bahh–BBBBOOMMMM!!!!!!! InexactDuplicate ‘Earth says no!’ meatywood
READ MORE
Wedding Photo Of The Week (not this week, another week)
Source Reddit u/sherwinner1992


thepoke--2020-01-15--How should we celebrate Brexit Day? Our 18 favourite suggestions

There ’ s a bit of a ‘ will it or won ’ t it ?
’ situation going on @ @ @ @ @ bong for Brexit , with the possibility that members of the public might donate the @ @ @ @ @ the bell working on the day .
As well as the bongs , Brexiters plan @ @ @ @ @ parties and a gathering outside parliament to celebrate the moment the UK officially leaves the @ @ @ @ @ our Poke family might want to celebrate , so we asked .
As ever , @ @ @ @ @ , with these brilliant suggestions .

Exclusive
There’s a bit of a ‘will it or won’t it?’ situation going on over whether Big Ben will bong for Brexit, with the possibility that idiots members of the public might donate the half-a-million quid required to get the bell working on the day.
As well as the bongs, Brexiters plan to have fireworks displays, parties and a gathering outside parliament to celebrate the moment the UK officially leaves the EU.
We wondered how our Poke family might want to celebrate, so we asked.
OK – so how SHOULD we celebrate Brexit Day? Your suggestions please. — The Poke (@ThePoke) January 15, 2020
As ever, you came through for us, with these brilliant suggestions.
1.
By shooting ouselves in the foot. — Jon Steggles (@JWSteggles) 15 January 2020
2.
Everyone should kick each other in the privates and burn money while laughing at how the remaining EU countries are able to live and work together. — Mr Jones (@mr_jonestweets) 15 January 2020
3.
By deliberately losing our house keys whilst locked indoors. — Steve Robinson (@Robbo1894) 15 January 2020
4.
I'm gonna binge-watch the League of Gentlemen to perfect my Tubs and Edward outlook for our future pic.twitter.com/tjJRFYWzEw — Michelle (@shells_twits) 15 January 2020
5.
Can only be a giant bonfire of medical supplies, non-chlorinated chicken, topped with the hopes and dreams of our children. Will also please the climate-change deniers. Two-for-one self abuse. — Alec Proffitt (@GinnerWina) 15 January 2020
6.
By rejoining the EU — Andrew Hoyland (@andrew_hoyland) 15 January 2020
7.
Can we just all pretend we misheard Festival of Brexit and have a Festival of Breakfast instead cos I reckon I'd really enjoy camping in a field for a weekend and just eating cereal, croissants and fry-ups? — James Marsters (@earlofbeverley) 12 January 2020
8.
Head to The Winchester, have a nice, cold pint, etc… 😬 pic.twitter.com/7Uh7LatMPB — StripyHorse (@StripyHorseLtd) 15 January 2020
9.


thepoke--2020-01-15--This anti-vaxxer accidentally advocates vaccines and it’s a glorious self-own

Self-own of the week goes to this person who insists they are ‘ not an anti-vaxxer ’ .
And it @ @ @ @ @ closer to the truth than they think it is .
‘ This reminds me of @ @ @ @ @ my cousin being vaccinated .
Her first three kids weren ’ t , and all @ @ @ @ @ the fourth was born , she was “ tricked ” into vaccinating him .
She @ @ @ @ @ playdates , but he never got sick .
Somehow , she saw this as a @ @ @ @ @ about his safety.
’ FueledByFlan ‘ It ’ s crazy .
They think that somehow @ @ @ @ @ not getting immune by not developing them “ naturally ” .
’ Lampmonster ‘ Make @ @ @ @ @ other chemicals to avoid .
Like water.
’ Sinthe741

Self-own of the week goes to this person who insists they are ‘not an anti-vaxxer’. And it turns out this is much closer to the truth than they think it is.
‘This reminds me of when my aunt complained about my cousin being vaccinated. Her first three kids weren’t, and all had chicken pox. When the fourth was born, she was “tricked” into vaccinating him. She took him to chicken pox playdates, but he never got sick. Somehow, she saw this as a bad thing and still worries about his safety.’ FueledByFlan
‘It’s crazy. They think that somehow you’re cheating and not getting immune by not developing them “naturally”.’ Lampmonster
‘Make sure you tell her about other chemicals to avoid. Like water.’ Sinthe741


thepoke--2020-01-15--Someone’s updated the chart plotting Leonardo di Caprio’s age against the age of his girlfriends and

Someone’s updated the chart plotting Leonardo di Caprio’s age against the age of his girlfriends and it’s a thing of beauty

Inspired by a Ricky Gervais joke at the Golden Globes , someone called TrustLittleBrother over on Reddit has posted an updated version of the chart plotting Leonardo di Caprio ’ s age against the age of his girlfriends .
Here ’ s what Gervais said at last week ’ s ceremony : “ ‘ Once Upon a Time in Hollywood ’ — nearly three hours long — Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere , and by the end , his date was too old for him .
Even Prince Andrew is like , ‘ Come on , Leo , mate , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ ” See if you can spot a pattern ( and you might have to zoom in for the full effect ) .
It really is a thing of beauty ( the chart , not di Caprio ) .
‘ Holy f-cking shit .
This is the most beautiful Excel chart I ’ ve ever seen .
Love the design elements ; it ’ s so clean and beautiful .
Please consider sharing a tutorial with us ; I ’ d love to pick up some tips .
Also , I think this @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you very much !
I ’ m not a professional graphic designer or data scientist at all .
Just made this for laughs when I was bored of staring at spreadsheets at my unrelated job .
Never expected to get much of a reaction but seems like you guys get a kick out of it !
’ TrustLittleBrother ‘ Glad to see it is an update , but he ’ s still dating the same chick and she ’ s got 3 more years .
I hope to see an update to this @ @ @ @ @ @ @ DiCaprio lookalike ?
He ’ s got a TV show and is recreating Titanic in a shopping mall AND EVEN MORE Step aside Ricky Gervais , Sacha Baron Cohen had the funniest and most savage Golden Globes intro

Pics
Inspired by a Ricky Gervais joke at the Golden Globes, someone called TrustLittleBrother over on Reddit has posted an updated version of the chart plotting Leonardo di Caprio’s age against the age of his girlfriends.
Here’s what Gervais said at last week’s ceremony.
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood — nearly three hours long — Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere, and by the end, his date was too old for him … Even Prince Andrew is like, ‘Come on, Leo, mate, you’re nearly 50, son.’”
See if you can spot a pattern (and you might have to zoom in for the full effect).
It really is a thing of beauty (the chart, not di Caprio).
‘Holy f-cking shit. This is the most beautiful Excel chart I’ve ever seen. Love the design elements; it’s so clean and beautiful. Please consider sharing a tutorial with us; I’d love to pick up some tips. Also, I think this chart is hilarious.’ Fiance9Years ‘Thank you very much! I’m not a professional graphic designer or data scientist at all. Just made this for laughs when I was bored of staring at spreadsheets at my unrelated job. Never expected to get much of a reaction but seems like you guys get a kick out of it!’ TrustLittleBrother ‘Glad to see it is an update, but he’s still dating the same chick and she’s got 3 more years. I hope to see an update to this in 2024.’ MindMyBool
READ MORE
Remember the fat DiCaprio lookalike? He’s got a TV show and is recreating Titanic in a shopping mall
AND EVEN MORE
Step aside Ricky Gervais, Sacha Baron Cohen had the funniest and most savage Golden Globes intro
Source Reddit u/TrustLittleBrother


thepoke--2020-01-15--These contrasting headlines about Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle might be a clue to the Sussexes’

These contrasting headlines about Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle might be a clue to the Sussexes’ plans

Since the Duke and Duchess of Sussex announced their intention to step back from royal duties and live part of @ @ @ @ @ media have been holding interminable discussions looking for causes – and laying blame .
Buzzfeed @ @ @ @ @ from the mainstream press , contrasting those about Kate , Duchess of Cambridge , with @ @ @ @ @ .
Seeing them side by side gives a huge hint as to why Harry and @ @ @ @ @ Canada .
Hands up if you can think of an explanation .
22 majestic reactions @ @ @ @ @ back from the Royal Family

Pics
Since the Duke and Duchess of Sussex announced their intention to step back from royal duties and live part of the year abroad, the media have been holding interminable discussions looking for causes – and laying blame.
Buzzfeed collected a lot of headlines from the mainstream press, contrasting those about Kate, Duchess of Cambridge, with Meghan, Duchess of Sussex.
Seeing them side by side gives a huge hint as to why Harry and Meghan are hot-footing it to Canada.
1. Daily Mail 2018/2019
2. Express 2017/2019
3. Daily Mail 2016/2019
4. Daily Mail 2014/2019
5. The Sun 2017/2019
6. Daily Mail 2011/2018
7. Express 2011/2019
8. Daily Mail 2018/2019
9. Mirror 2012/2018
10. Daily Mail June/July 2019
Hands up if you can think of an explanation.
via Gfycat
READ MORE
22 majestic reactions to Harry and Meghan stepping back from the Royal Family
Source Buzzfeed Image Daily Mail via Buzzfeed


thepoke--2020-01-15--This portrait is made up entirely of dice and it’s quite something

'Is this what people mean when they say their dog is broken ?
Asking for a friend '

Videos
Surely the greatest labour of love involving dice since you last played Yahtzee.
READ MORE
These are not photographs – 10 mind-blowing examples of hyperrealistic art
Source Reddit u/mbntips


thepoke--2020-01-15--‘Is this what people mean when they say their dog is broken? Asking for a friend’

Over on Reddit someone who calls themselves wideawaketheysleep has a question .
‘ Is this what people mean when they @ @ @ @ @ ?
Asking for a friend.
’ ‘ I love how everyone , including the dog @ @ @ @ @ confused 😂 ’ SpatchcockZucchini ‘ I couldn ’ t be mad .
I ’ d @ @ @ @ @ ransom1115 ‘ How did her even get up there ?
’ LoomingOrangutan

Over on Reddit someone who calls themselves wideawaketheysleep has a question.
‘Is this what people mean when they say their dog is broken? Asking for a friend.’
‘I love how everyone, including the dog on the cabinets, looks confused 😂’ SpatchcockZucchini
‘I couldn’t be mad. I’d be too damn impressed.’ ransom1115
‘How did her even get up there?’ LoomingOrangutan
‘Brought up by cats.’ TannedCroissant


thepoke--2020-01-15--People love this dog’s reaction to seeing its owner’s face after a nap

This clip of a dog ’ s reaction to seeing its owner ’ s face after a nap went wildly @ @ @ @ @ very funny and totally cute .
See if you can spot it .
‘ A @ @ @ @ @ always such a giveaway !
When my dog is chilling and I start approaching , @ @ @ @ @ but her tail is going crazy.
’ sa8i ‘ Delighted to learn that peekaboo works @ @ @ @ @ ’ rabbitqueer The look on the second dog ’ s face is sheer perfection

Videos
This clip of a dog’s reaction to seeing its owner’s face after a nap went wildly viral because it’s very funny and totally cute.
See if you can spot it.
Like an on/off switch!
‘A dog’s tail is always such a giveaway! When my dog is chilling and I start approaching, she tries to act cool but her tail is going crazy.’ sa8i ‘Delighted to learn that peekaboo works with dogs, incredibly cute.’ rabbitqueer
READ MORE
The look on the second dog’s face is sheer perfection
Source Reddit u/Huckster22


thepoke--2020-01-15--A cat named Lizzo has the purrfect adoption advert

If you have a cat named Lizzo in your shelter , there ’ s really only one way to advertise @ @ @ @ @ her .
If that doesn ’ t work , we don ’ t know what @ @ @ @ @ just something about Lizzo ’ s Truth Hurts and cats , and we don ’ @ @ @ @ @ but we like it .
As a bonus , here ’ s the full version @ @ @ @ @ Lizzo ’ s ‘ Truth Hurts ’ in the style of the Hocus Pocus witches @ @ @ @ @

Pics
If you have a cat named Lizzo in your shelter, there’s really only one way to advertise for a new family for her.
If that doesn’t work, we don’t know what will. There’s just something about Lizzo’s Truth Hurts and cats, and we don’t know what it is but we like it.
A video you never thought you needed til now. Aristocats v Lizzo. 🙌🏻 pic.twitter.com/mex06gDccN — Ben (@began_7) September 28, 2019
As a bonus, here’s the full version in all its glory.
READ MORE
Lizzo’s ‘Truth Hurts’ in the style of the Hocus Pocus witches is a freaky Halloween treat
Source Reddit Image Reddit


thepoke--2020-01-15--These might just be the 14 best unexpected celebrity interactions on social media

One of the funniest things about social media has been how it has put celebrities into the same circle as @ @ @ @ @ only they get a million likes for saying “ Feeling strong ” , so it @ @ @ @ @ level playing field .
Marketing professional Ese Negrito was interested to learn about celebrity interactions @ @ @ @ @ pick of the bunch .

Twitter
One of the funniest things about social media has been how it has put celebrities into the same circle as the rest of us, only they get a million likes for saying “Feeling strong”, so it’s not quite a level playing field.
Marketing professional Ese Negrito was interested to learn about celebrity interactions.
What’s y’all’s funniest celeb Twitter interaction? — Ese Negrito (@iLLmak3Ufamous) January 8, 2020
And these were the pick of the bunch.
1.
@bencjenkins
2.
I said Ellie Goulding sang like a baby owl with a collapsed lung. She vanity searched her name and told me to fuck off. Which was fair enough, I suppose. https://t.co/zfuJPkINuZ — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) January 11, 2020
3.
@MurderHusbands_
4.
@denisryan525
5.
@louisvirtel
6.
@AngieDavisHaha
7.


thepoke--2020-01-15--“Managed to make a nice profit in the group chat today”

Once again , the extremely funny Sir Michael has used social media to come out on top in the most @ @ @ @ @ shared how he made a profit from an online selling group chat , and we @ @ @ @ @ to him .
The glorious masterclass in making a profit has been shared more than @ @ @ @ @ 48 hours , and has given rise to some hilarious reactions , like these :

Pics
Once again, the extremely funny Sir Michael has used social media to come out on top in the most ingenious way.
He recently shared how he made a profit from an online selling group chat, and we have to tip our hats to him.
Here’s what happened.
Managed to make a nice profit in the group chat today 💰 pic.twitter.com/5YHZRHPhjY — Sir Michael (@Michael1979) 13 January 2020
The glorious masterclass in making a profit has been shared more than 16,000 times in less than 48 hours, and has given rise to some hilarious reactions, like these:
[direct message to Michael1979] do you have anymore other peoples buckets for sale? I am extremely interested in other peoples buckets for sale. don't tell the internet I am interested in this tho I do not want my direct messages flooded with other other peoples buckets for sale. — Oops!…I Dad It Again (@NewDadNotes) 13 January 2020


thepoke--2020-01-15--A choosing beggar gave a comic shop a bad review for not condoning illegal downloads

We ’ ve seen some genuinely spurious bad reviews , but this one shared on the r/choosingbeggars subreddit just about takes the biscuit .
As the poster , u/Felipegarza so aptly titled the review , I know right ?
I don ’ t know why some people find it so hard to understand that if you ’ re not paying the asked price for a business ’ s goods and services you are not , in fact , « a customer » and are therefore not entitled to any kind of service .
This jerk told me to quit breaking @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I think I ’ m special and should get people ’ s hard work for free .
He wouldn ’ t even help me find stuff to not buy .
Total douche .
And then when all the comic book shops go under and no one is buying comic books , they stop making them .
Then they can complain about not having anything to pirate .
Finally , this comment was about a very similar incident in a book shop .
I work in a bookstore .
My coworker had a customer @ @ @ @ @ @ @ only partial information .
She found it in 15 minutes , with very few clues to go on !
The customer ’ s wife promptly pulled out her phone and bought it on Amazon , and then asked for help finding another title .
She was shocked , SHOCKED , that my coworker refused to help her shop from our competitor .
The original customer was mortified and did buy another book , but WHAT THE FUCK .
Don ’ t showroom , people .
Now , where are those Oreos ?

Weird World
We’ve seen some genuinely spurious bad reviews, but this one shared on the r/choosingbeggars subreddit just about takes the biscuit.
As the poster, u/Felipegarza so aptly titled the review,
Comic Store Employee won’t help me pick out a book that I want to pirate later.
Which serves as a tl;dr.
Unsurprisingly, Reddit users weren’t impressed with the unreasonable “customer”.
I know right? I don’t know why some people find it so hard to understand that if you’re not paying the asked price for a business’s goods and services you are not, in fact, « a customer » and are therefore not entitled to any kind of service. CharlieAndRose
This jerk told me to quit breaking the law and hurting his profits because I think I’m special and should get people’s hard work for free. He wouldn’t even help me find stuff to not buy. Total douche. Tony_Cheese_
That’s like getting mad at a Walmart employee for not helping you steal Oreos PALlC0
And then when all the comic book shops go under and no one is buying comic books, they stop making them. Then they can complain about not having anything to pirate. TheSortingHate
Finally, this comment was about a very similar incident in a book shop.
I work in a bookstore. My coworker had a customer ask for help finding a book with only partial information. She found it in 15 minutes, with very few clues to go on! The customer’s wife promptly pulled out her phone and bought it on Amazon, and then asked for help finding another title. She was shocked, SHOCKED, that my coworker refused to help her shop from our competitor. The original customer was mortified and did buy another book, but WHAT THE FUCK. Don’t showroom, people. Now, where are those Oreos? MdmeLibrarian
Source Reddit Image Reddit, @martijnbaudoin on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-01-15--The only six reactions you need to Ann Widdecombe’s rant about freedom of movement

As the UK is on the verge of leaving the EU , it seems likely that the remaining MEPs might @ @ @ @ @ they no longer have to deal with the Brexit Party .
This clip of Ann @ @ @ @ @ Dutch MEP , Sophie in t ’ Veld ‘ s grasp of the British electoral @ @ @ @ @ the nose , which might be why it clearly aggravated Miss Widdecombe .
David Lammy @ @ @ @ @ EU to be aware that he and many more in the UK weren ’ t @ @ @ @ @ the Brexit Party .
He wasn ’ t the only person with something to say @ @ @ @ @ six reactions encompass the range of criticism – not including the comments too vitriolic to @ @ @ @ @ shared an anecdote that beautifully demonstrates Ann Widdecombe ’ s position on the left to @ @ @ @ @ just a smidgen right of centre then .

Twitter
As the UK is on the verge of leaving the EU, it seems likely that the remaining MEPs might be counting the days until they no longer have to deal with the Brexit Party. This clip of Ann Widdecombe shows why.
"The majority of the British people didn't vote for a Brexit party." "Why did Boris Johnson get such a massive majority in the last election? Because his basic promise was 'get Brexit done'." The Brexit Party's Ann Widdecombe clashes with a Dutch MEP in the European Parliament. pic.twitter.com/HqykvmvzDr — Channel 4 News (@Channel4News) January 14, 2020
The Dutch MEP, Sophie in t’Veld‘s grasp of the British electoral system seemed pretty much on the nose, which might be why it clearly aggravated Miss Widdecombe.
David Lammy was very keen for the EU to be aware that he and many more in the UK weren’t on the same page as the Brexit Party.
Dear friends in the EU, Anne Widdecombe does not represent us. She is an embarrassment. Polls consistently show a majority of Britons now want to remain in the EU. Boris Johnson's majority means we are leaving, but we will fight for the closest possible relationship with you. https://t.co/3cyqhgksVk — David Lammy (@DavidLammy) January 14, 2020
He wasn’t the only person with something to say about Ann Widdecombe. These six reactions encompass the range of criticism – not including the comments too vitriolic to include.
1.
Bit cheeky of a Dutch MEP to suggest that Ann Widdecombe’s rabid frothing might not represent every single British person, or even a majority. pic.twitter.com/FZQKhmMvmx — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) January 14, 2020
2.
It's quite remarkable that Ann Widdecombe was considered a batshit old crank not worth listening to 20 years ago but apparently now a bastion of knowledge today in regards to Britain's trade and economic policy which is Brexit in a nutshell. — Big Julie from Argos (@armed_giraffe) January 14, 2020
3.
I see someone has left the door open on Ann Widdecombe’s mausoleum again, allowing her unspeakable evil out into the world. — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) January 14, 2020
4.
Literally the only Brexit bonus is that Ann Widdecombe will be unemployed and can piss off back into obscurity again. Vile old harridan. — Unbearable Rae Juanita 'Two-Stash' 🇪🇺 (@MmedeBeauvoir) January 14, 2020
5.
Ann Widdicombe is, like me, a member of the luckiest generation ever in the UK. NHS, no National Service, free HE, well paid jobs, affordable housing, generous final salary pensions….
Why is she so angry? — Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) January 14, 2020
6.
Barking. And I don't mean the place on the District Line… https://t.co/X1wX7I7o5h — Tom Doorley (@tomdoorley) January 14, 2020
Writer Otto English shared an anecdote that beautifully demonstrates Ann Widdecombe’s position on the left to right scale.
Years ago Ann Widdecombe was invited to my parent's constituency. She delivered an angry mob pleasing rant about asylum seekers until my mother took exception, stopped her and held her to account. Widdecombe asked if my mum "was a communist". She wasn't. She was local Tory Chair. — Otto English (@Otto_English) January 14, 2020
So, just a smidgen right of centre then.
from Phoebe Waller Bridge GIFs via Gfycat
Source Channel 4 News Image Channel 4 News


thepoke--2020-01-15--This guy’s been pranking his dad and it’s a very funny play in 4 acts

This live review by a guy watching Cats on mushrooms is much more fun than the film

Pics
It’s a good joke but the question (and answer) it prompts is even better.
1.
2.
3.
4.
READ MORE
We Doubt This Guy Will Prank His Dad Again
Source Imgur somewhatvaguelywitty


thepoke--2020-01-15--This live review by a guy watching Cats on mushrooms is much more fun than the film

A chap called Rob Sheridan , who describes himself as an artist/writer/nerd thought he ’ d do an experiment by @ @ @ @ @ large amount of mushrooms .
Not only that he live tweeted the whole thing .
@ @ @ @ @ , and it ’ s much more fun to read than the movie is to @ @ @ @ @ .
Someone trolled the Cats movie Twitter account and it really rubbed them the wrong @

Twitter
A chap called Rob Sheridan, who describes himself as an artist/writer/nerd thought he’d do an experiment by watching Cats having ingested a large amount of mushrooms.
Not only that he live tweeted the whole thing. Well, most of it, and it’s much more fun to read than the movie is to watch, by all accounts.
You can follow Rob Sheridan on Twitter here.
READ MORE
Someone trolled the Cats movie Twitter account and it really rubbed them the wrong way
Source @rob_sheridan H/T Imgur


thepoke--2020-01-15--This thread identifies the 10 different types of movie according to their posters and it’s very conv

This thread identifies the 10 different types of movie according to their posters and it’s very convincingly done

Over on Twitter a chap called Lee Steffen has identified the 10 different types of movie according to their posters @ @ @ @ @ it is too .
His thread went wildly viral and here are just a few @ @ @ @ @ saying about it ( which ones did he miss ? )
That ’ s probably @ @ @ @ @ day .
We challenged you to design a middle class movie poster .
You didn @ @ @

Pics
Over on Twitter a chap called Lee Steffen has identified the 10 different types of movie according to their posters.
And very convincingly done it is too.
There are only 10 types of movies. (A short thread) 1. Orange and blue action pic.twitter.com/YwKABlrsSZ — (@leesteffen) January 14, 2020
His thread went wildly viral and here are just a few of the things people were saying about it (which ones did he miss?)
Also “Big Writing On Top of Big Faces” should be included. — Clement W (@TheClementW) January 14, 2020
You forget the French posters with blue background and yellow title…if the movie sucks it's better. pic.twitter.com/tIq1hu4vV9 — Borymir (@bory_mir) January 15, 2020
I call this one the Mondrian Romcom Scourge. pic.twitter.com/CIYP10627k — George Webster (@G_Webster) January 15, 2020
People with bows pic.twitter.com/7KsWc0cGLB — Ayn Randy (@ItsAndyRyan) January 15, 2020
That’s probably enough movie posters for one day.
READ MORE
We challenged you to design a middle class movie poster. You didn’t disappoint
Source Twitter @leesteffen


thepoke--2020-01-15--‘The worst angle for a picture of a seal’

No matter how long we look at this – and we ’ ve looked at it for quite a long @ @ @ @ @ ’ t get our head round it .
‘ The worst angle for a picture @ @ @ @ @ theonlybianca over on Imgur .
What are we looking at again ?
And what ’ @ @ @ @ @ like its mouth ?
Its mouth ?
Just a video of a seal slapping a @ @ @ @ @ an octopus

Pics
No matter how long we look at this – and we’ve looked at it for quite a long time – we still can’t get our head round it.
‘The worst angle for a picture of a seal’ says theonlybianca over on Imgur.
What are we looking at again? And what’s the bit that looks like its mouth? Its mouth?
READ MORE
Just a video of a seal slapping a kayaker in the face with an octopus
Source Imgur


thepoke--2020-01-15--Simply 7 funny things people said about boxer Tyson Fury’s, ahem, unconventional training regime

Sports news now – well , sort of – after the Daily Mirror shared this insight into boxer Tyson Fury @ @ @ @ @ And you won ’ t be surprised to know it generated quite a lot of @ @ @ @ @ favourites .
Turns out BBC News presenter Clive Myrie was half right .
‘ Half @ @ @ @ @ like gay weddings ’

Twitter
Sports news now – well, sort of – after the Daily Mirror shared this insight into boxer Tyson Fury’s training regime.
Tyson Fury is masturbating seven times a day ahead of Deontay Wilder fight https://t.co/9ku5lgiU2t pic.twitter.com/08WTFsNVjo — Mirror Fighting (@MirrorFighting) January 14, 2020
All about testosterone, apparently.
https://twitter.com/MichaelBensonn/status/1217047498600132609
And you won’t be surprised to know it generated quite a lot of comments. Here are our favourites.
So maybe I don't lack the dedication to become a professional athlete, after all. https://t.co/px5DmBi0hw — Fernanda Prates (@NandaPrates_) January 14, 2020
Fair play to him. I'd struggle to even get my pants off wearing those gloves. — George (@DevsQPR) January 14, 2020
The seventh one must be like the last puff of dust from an old compact in a charity shop. https://t.co/5VRMViNBbp — David Quantick (@quantick) January 15, 2020
He’ll be blind by the time the bell goes for the first round — Ste Mccoy (@lpool39) January 14, 2020
And in the red-raw corner… https://t.co/wQKLx4Tl1V — Michael Hogan (@michaelhogan) January 15, 2020
Throws in the towel. NOT THAT ONE — The Poke (@ThePoke) January 15, 2020
https://twitter.com/SimplyGames/status/1217398425223823360
Turns out BBC News presenter Clive Myrie was half right.
READ MORE
‘Half of all boxing photos look like gay weddings’


thepoke--2020-01-15--A bar did this after a guy punched a hole in the bathroom wall and it’s a work of art

This bar had the perfect response after a guy punched a hole in its bathroom wall .
And just in @ @ @ @ @ little tricky to read , it reads : ‘ Fragile Masculinity – Artist Unknown 2018 @ @ @ @ @ dude that punched the wall , going back to the bar a couple months later @ @ @ @ @ they FRAMED your punch.
’ SouljaBoySmellEm_ ‘ We don ’ t know the story , @ @ @ @ @ ’ mtldude1967 These 21 literary-themed pub name puns should be available on Gindle

Pics
This bar had the perfect response after a guy punched a hole in its bathroom wall.
And just in case that’s a little tricky to read, it reads: ‘Fragile Masculinity – Artist Unknown 2018’
Absolute work of art!
‘Imagine being the dude that punched the wall, going back to the bar a couple months later, and then seeing that they FRAMED your punch.’ SouljaBoySmellEm_ ‘We don’t know the story, maybe the wall provoked him.’ mtldude1967 ‘Another prick in the wall.’ SemiColonInfection
READ MORE
These 21 literary-themed pub name puns should be available on Gindle
Source Reddit u/psgenius


thepoke--2020-01-15--This photo of a wedding under a volcanic eruption is something else

Just an amazing photograph of a wedding taking place under a volcanic eruption , shared by Redditor sherwinner1992 .
It @ @ @ @ @ , just in case you ’ re wondering .
‘ If any of you has @ @ @ @ @ should not be married , speak now or forever hold your ….
’ Bahh–BBBBOOMMMM !
@ @ @ @ @ !
InexactDuplicate Wedding Photo Of The Week ( not this week , another week )

Pics
Crash, bang, wallop – what a picture!
Just an amazing photograph of a wedding taking place under a volcanic eruption, shared by Redditor sherwinner1992.
It’s from the Philippines, just in case you’re wondering.
‘If any of you has a reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your ….’ Bahh–BBBBOOMMMM!!!!!!! InexactDuplicate ‘Earth says no!’ meatywood
READ MORE
Wedding Photo Of The Week (not this week, another week)
Source Reddit u/sherwinner1992