thepoke--2020-10-06--11 stinging responses to Trump downplaying the coronavirus – again

After three days in hospital being treated for Covid-19 , Donald Trump has returned to the White House .
Here @ @ @ @ @ photos flanked by two flags – without a mask , despite being in the infectious @ @ @ @ @ Before he left the hospital , he tweeted this update .
Rather than having been @ @ @ @ @ to treat a serious respiratory condition , it makes it sound as though he ’ @ @ @ @ @ at the Coronaspa .
A lot of other people spoke out to condemn the President @ @ @ @ @ simply mocked his bragging .

News
After three days in hospital being treated for Covid-19, Donald Trump has returned to the White House.
Here he is, posing for photos flanked by two flags – without a mask, despite being in the infectious stage of the disease.
wanna be dictator full of covid and on steroids pic.twitter.com/p6g8n4l4Vk — Mia Farrow (@MiaFarrow) October 6, 2020
Before he left the hospital, he tweeted this update.
I will be leaving the great Walter Reed Medical Center today at 6:30 P.M. Feeling really good! Don’t be afraid of Covid. Don’t let it dominate your life. We have developed, under the Trump Administration, some really great drugs & knowledge. I feel better than I did 20 years ago! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 5, 2020
Rather than having been pumped full of experimental drugs to treat a serious respiratory condition, it makes it sound as though he’s spent a few days at the Coronaspa.
Journalist Aaron Rupar suggested a more appropriate alternative.
The right thing for Trump to say would be, "the great care I've received taught me the folly of my ways. Covid is serious, I'm immediately dropping the lawsuit against the ACA, & will use my remaining time in office to push for universal health care." Instead we get this shit. https://t.co/GCDKPdUZkM — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) October 5, 2020
A lot of other people spoke out to condemn the President.
1.
“Don’t be afraid of Covid” should be the end of Trump’s presidency and the Republican Party. — Jon Favreau (@jonfavs) October 5, 2020
2.
3.
Don't be afraid, says the guy with a team of a dozen doctors, access to experimental treatments that no one else gets, a four room hospital suite, who lives in a house with top doctors on site 24/7. All of which is provided to him for free because he refuses to pay taxes. https://t.co/uGScoBTiTt — Chris Murphy (@ChrisMurphyCT) October 5, 2020
4.
He sounds like he’s selling a pyramid scheme Deranged https://t.co/bMkEhm3LON — Liam Thorp (@LiamThorpECHO) October 5, 2020
5.
"Don't be afraid of COVID" – from the guy who demanded that you be terrified of caravans in Mexico, refugees, immigrant children, Muslims, Barack Obama, peaceful protesters, the Deep State, George Soros, and any number of people who posed no actual danger. https://t.co/DYxW0zeVEj — Ben Rhodes (@brhodes) October 5, 2020
Just as many people simply mocked his bragging.
6.
‘I feel better than I did 20 years ago’ pic.twitter.com/UB1buLCNmk — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) October 5, 2020
7.
8.
“I feel better than I did 20 years ago!" pic.twitter.com/W23j6cMhUa — Dan Rebellato (@DanRebellato) October 5, 2020
9.


thepoke--2020-10-07--This anti-Trump message might be the best political ad ever

This anti-Trump advert has gone wildly viral because , well , have a watch for yourself .
Surely a message @ @ @ @ @ .
And here are just some of the many things people are saying about it @ @ @ @ @ where it came from .
Patti Lupone ’ s NSFW takedown of Donald Trump is @ @ @

Videos
This anti-Trump advert has gone wildly viral because, well, have a watch for yourself.
New favorite ad pic.twitter.com/qfNQTqQNIe — Santiago Mayer (@santiagomayer_) October 1, 2020
Surely a message we can all agree on. And here are just some of the many things people are saying about it.
Never trust a politician who doesn't love dogs. https://t.co/Rc8z27yVhT — Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) October 3, 2020
Says a Lot about a human… https://t.co/KKXm8i6h4D — Peter Egan (@PeterEgan6) October 2, 2020
This might be the most powerful ad ever pic.twitter.com/I2EsHAIKDc — Matt Chorley (@MattChorley) October 7, 2020
Probably the first Biden ad I've seen that really lands. https://t.co/m6T7qg9RBT — simon evans (@TheSimonEvans) October 1, 2020
No need to campaign further. https://t.co/fgIkiPkdFn — June Diane Raphael (@MsJuneDiane) October 4, 2020
genius political ad
pic.twitter.com/zt5DKvSxdP — Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) October 7, 2020
And here’s where it came from.
Go give some love to the person who made it: https://t.co/qoxXMFeg6m — Santiago Mayer (@santiagomayer_) October 1, 2020
READ MORE
Patti Lupone’s NSFW takedown of Donald Trump is an absolute treat
Source @santiagomayer_


thepoke--2020-10-07--‘Hacked chastity belt’ is the only news story in town today

‘ What a time to be alive , ’ said David Baddiel – @ Baddiel – over on Twitter .
@ @ @ @ @ the only news story in town today .
Whoever put this rail replacement sign here @ @ @ @ @ the week off

Weird World
‘What a time to be alive,’ said David Baddiel – @Baddiel – over on Twitter.
And it’s surely the only news story in town today.
Angle grinder?
It’s the emergency call to the fire service explaining why they need to bring along a bolt cutter that I’d like to hear. — Ken Goodwin (@KenGoodwinITV) October 7, 2020
This is it. The moment my comedy Twitter and kink Twitter timelines merge. — Ben Strong (@BenStro33235073) October 7, 2020
READ MORE
Whoever put this rail replacement sign here, take the rest of the week off
Source @Baddiel


thepoke--2020-10-07--Alan Partridge fans thought Donald Trump’s hospital room looked familiar – 9 favourite things people

Alan Partridge fans thought Donald Trump’s hospital room looked familiar – 9 favourite things people said about it

Donald Trump ’ s left hospital and is back in the White House after being treated for coronavirus .
And @ @ @ @ @ hospital room where he stayed which looked very familiar to anyone who watched the first @ @ @ @ @ Alan Partridge .
Here it is , highlighted by the wonderful Accidental Partridge – @ @ @ @ @ @ Uncanny .
And our favourite things people said about it .
This Trump-Covid version of @ @ @ @ @ Me Argentina gloriously hits all the right notes

Pics
Donald Trump’s left hospital and is back in the White House after being treated for coronavirus.
And there was something about the hospital room where he stayed which looked very familiar to anyone who watched the first series of I’m Alan Partridge.
Here it is, highlighted by the wonderful Accidental Partridge – @AccidentalP – on Twitter.
Uncanny. And our favourite things people said about it.
1.
"Can you make porn appear on my telly?" pic.twitter.com/KjYEm3WNIH — Lee (@leethebee5) October 7, 2020
2.
Dread to think what's in his drawer — Pashbacca (@Pashbacca) October 7, 2020
3.
Is that a corby trouser press? pic.twitter.com/dHIRMMfdv3 — Daniel Davidson (@daniel4davidson) October 7, 2020
4.
That tv is set at the wrong angle for a start. More towards the bathroom door I’d say. 🙂 — Tim West (@thisistimwest) October 7, 2020
5.
"I mean the great thing about this hospital is its situation. It’s equidistant between the Capitol building and the White House. That’s the genius of its location. Even though I do hate it and I don’t live here, I just pop in for treatment." — David (@FieldDE) October 7, 2020
6.
Wonder if they gave him a sanitary bag every day? — Krilencu (@krilencu) October 7, 2020
7.
Not in that drawer 😂 pic.twitter.com/5d6cvOotrX — Dan Grainger (@dangrainger78) October 7, 2020
8.
I wonder if her got chocolate on the valance? — Estelle Coombs (@OceanicEstelle) October 7, 2020
9.
What you can’t see, as it’s just out of shot is a signed A4 photograph of Jet from Gladiators….. — TheresonlyoneEmmaM (@TheresonlyoneEm) October 7, 2020
Let’s hope Trump also had a leaving party.
Follow @AccidentalP on Twitter here!
READ MORE
This Trump-Covid version of Don’t Cry For Me Argentina gloriously hits all the right notes
Source @AccidentalP


thepoke--2020-10-07--‘Is this any good for wasps?’

‘Is this any good for wasps?’

People are enjoying this clip of Rory Cowan – @ 1rorycowan on Twitter – who went into town to buy @ @ @ @ @ and had a story to tell .
It was shared by lots of people on @ @ @ @ @ Nigel Owens .
Simply 27 brilliantly groansome dad jokes to take your mind off coronavirus @ @ @ @ @

Videos
People are enjoying this clip of actor Rory Cowan – @1rorycowan on Twitter – who went into town to buy a bottle of fly spray and had a story to tell.
It was shared by lots of people on Twitter including rugby referee, Nigel Owens.
https://twitter.com/Nigelrefowens/status/1313742546259111937?s=20
The more times I watch this, the louder I laugh. Good man Rory. Get up de yard ye madser ! https://t.co/J8anUK54yw — john creedon (@johncreedon) September 22, 2020
READ MORE
Simply 27 brilliantly groansome dad jokes to take your mind off coronavirus for a moment or two


thepoke--2020-10-07--This Trump-Covid version of Don’t Cry For Me Argentina gloriously hits all the right notes

You ’ ll have seen how lots of people have been drawing comparisons between Donald Trump ’ s bizarre appearance @ @ @ @ @ with a famous scene from Andrew Lloyd Webber ’ s Evita .
Now over on @ @ @ @ @ taken its most famous song , Don ’ t Cry For Me Argentina , and @ @ @ @ @ for their latest ad .
And by the looks of all those shares , it @ @ @ @ @ And just a few of the things people were saying about it .
Patti Lupone @ @ @ @ @ Donald Trump is an absolute treat

Videos
You’ll have seen how lots of people have been drawing comparisons between Donald Trump’s bizarre appearance on the White House balcony with a famous scene from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Evita.
Now over on Twitter, @ProjectLincoln have taken its most famous song, Don’t Cry For Me Argentina, and given it a Trump-Covid twist for their latest ad.
And by the looks of all those shares, it’s a hit.
Don’t cry for my White House staffer. pic.twitter.com/AvF1pZleOE — The Lincoln Project (@ProjectLincoln) October 7, 2020
And just a few of the things people were saying about it.
“I broke my promise, won’t keep my distance” — Chip Franklin (@chipfranklin) October 7, 2020
I laughed watching this though crying would probably be a more rational response to Trump's behavior as shown here. https://t.co/OAVfW1zXCO — Jill Wine-Banks (@JillWineBanks) October 7, 2020
COVITA!
COVITA!
COVITA! — Sarah Birnbaum (@sarahbirnbaum) October 7, 2020
I can't even remember the original words now. https://t.co/mTNP1ypMNu — S.V. Dáte (@svdate) October 7, 2020
I know everyone is sharing the Biden dog ad, but I’m absolutely gone at this Evita-adapted theatric takedown of Trump from the Lincoln Project (literally Republicans) pic.twitter.com/Kfa4LsZqRX — Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) October 7, 2020
COVID isn’t a big deal. If you get it, follow these steps: 1. See doctors in your in-home medical center 🏥
2. If needed, board the helicopter out back 🚁
3. Fly to the best hospital in the country 👨⚕ 👩⚕
4. Take the best therapeutics $750 in federal taxes can buy 💵 — Parry Headrick ⚡ (@pheadrick) October 7, 2020
READ MORE
Patti Lupone’s NSFW takedown of Donald Trump is an absolute treat
Source @ProjectLincoln


thepoke--2020-10-07--Patti Lupone’s NSFW takedown of Donald Trump is an absolute treat

Donald Trump ’ s post-covid appearance on the White House balcony drew lots of comparisons , not entirely favourable , @ @ @ @ @ Andrew Lloyd Webber ’ s Evita .
Pattie Lupone , who starred in its 1979 @ @ @ @ @ already had her say about it on Twitter .
But this is not why we @ @ @ @ @ ’ re here for this Lupone red carpet interview from 2017 which has gone viral @ @ @ @ @ well , watch .
A CNN correspondent just called Donald Trump ‘ Covita ’ and @ @ @ @ @ burn

Videos
Donald Trump’s post-covid appearance on the White House balcony drew lots of comparisons, not entirely favourable, with a famous scene from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Evita.
Pattie Lupone, who starred in its 1979 production on Broadway, has already had her say about it on Twitter.
I still have the lung power and I wore less makeup. This revival is closing November 3rd. pic.twitter.com/vRQ4LepACv — Patti LuPone (@PattiLuPone) October 6, 2020
But this is not why we’re here. We’re here for this Lupone red carpet interview from 2017 which has gone viral all over again because, well, watch.
"Because I hate the Motherfucker, how's that?" Patti LuPone has no chill when talking about Trump and I love it!!! pic.twitter.com/PzR1EciN6l — Naomi (@naomiitis) June 14, 2017
What a moment.
Don’t mince your words, Patti
pic.twitter.com/OTlMi00jq0 — Gary Whiter (@garywhiter) October 7, 2020
you know she is absolutely NOT joking and that’s what makes this video shake me to my core ☠ — gins 🌿🧺🕯 (she/her) (@picnichoney) October 7, 2020
https://twitter.com/Tipsy_in_Texas/status/1303709204763627520?s=20
I respect her honesty. I’d love to be that confident!!!!!! She did not stutter or hesitate one bit!!!!!! — Jarvis Aeon (@jjayguy23) October 7, 2020
https://twitter.com/SpillerOfTea/status/1313760191691849730?s=20
READ MORE
A CNN correspondent just called Donald Trump ‘Covita’ and it’s the perfect burn
Source @naomiitis


thepoke--2020-10-07--David Dimbleby blasted the government over Covid and The One Show shut him down – only 5 responses y

David Dimbleby blasted the government over Covid and The One Show shut him down – only 5 responses you need

Not often we say this but there was a wonderful moment on BBC1 ’ s The One Show when David @ @ @ @ @ to call out the government over it ’ s handling of the coronavirus .
Back @ @ @ @ @ Time Dimbleby had to be ruthlessly neutral , of course , but this time he @ @ @ @ @ get out the sledgehammer .
Alas it didn ’ t last long though because footballer @ @ @ @ @ shut him down .
And it prompted no end of comment ( and exasperated fury @ @ @ @ @ are our 5 favourite responses .
Some people thought it was representative of a wider @ @ @ @ @ you ’ re reading , David , if you want to criticise the government on @ @ @ @ @ have to be a bit sneakier about it .
Like this glorious appearance by Dr @ @ @ @ @ little while ago .
When Mel Brooks was a guest on BBC1 ’ s The @ @ @ @ @ it

Twitter
Not often we say this but there was a wonderful moment on BBC1’s The One Show when David Dimbleby decided it was time to call out the government over it’s handling of the coronavirus.
Back when he was presenting Question Time Dimbleby had to be ruthlessly neutral, of course, but this time he decided it was time to get out the sledgehammer.
Alas it didn’t last long though because footballer turned presenter Jermaine Jenas promptly shut him down.
Here’s David Dimbleby calling out the UK government’s shambolic handling of the Coronavirus and is then promptly shut down. pic.twitter.com/8TjBijKeYK — James Melville (@JamesMelville) October 6, 2020
And it prompted no end of comment (and exasperated fury) on Twitter. These are our 5 favourite responses.
“David, we don’t really want to get into that.” https://t.co/2lEx3zWRE7 — Prof Alice Roberts (@theAliceRoberts) October 7, 2020
When David Dimbleby’s considered analysis of the most serious news event in decades is shut down by Jermaine Jenas, you know that 2020 is taking the piss. pic.twitter.com/2C1WxXgqbX — Jon Harvey (@jondharvey) October 6, 2020
Imagine having put up with as much shit from politicians as David Dimbleby had to as chair of Question Time for 24 years and finally being able to say what you really think about the worst government of all time and then being shut down by Jermaine fucking Jenas! https://t.co/WxMarEem23 — John Spiers (@squeezyjohn) October 6, 2020
Jermaine Jenas telling David Dimbleby “we don’t really want to get into that…” I’m not sure where to start with this but my initial thoughts are, i’d really have liked to get into that actually https://t.co/hBsPqYHLIA — Luke Edwards (@LukeEdwardsTele) October 6, 2020
Have we all gone completely through the looking glass? This is 🧐 Jermaine Jenas telling 🧐 David Dimbleby not to go into 🧐 politics when discussing 🧐 the biggest issue affecting society today. 🤦🏻♂ https://t.co/9EEyDAoJlS — Karate Jesus (@KarateJesus44) October 6, 2020
Some people thought it was representative of a wider issue.
Fuck me David Dimbleby actually goes full barrel on the incompetence of #Johnson & the handling of the crisis. Naturally the BBC One Show presenters shut him up, quick time! God forbid we hear what people actually think on a BBC show. pic.twitter.com/WC5ZYcs3Uk — kerry ✊ (@hewitson10) October 6, 2020
If you want to criticise the government on The One Show, you have to be a bit sneakier about it.
Like this glorious appearance by Dr Xand van Tulleken just a little while ago.
To conclude …
We do want to get into this, Jermainehttps://t.co/cgbuTisaed — Miguel Delaney (@MiguelDelaney) October 6, 2020
READ MORE
When Mel Brooks was a guest on BBC1’s The One Show and totally nailed it
Source Twitter @JamesMelville


thepoke--2020-10-07--This female ship’s captain expertly took down a sexist – and it’s simply glorious

Captain Kate McCue was the first American woman to become the captain of a cruise liner and she updates her @ @ @ @ @ via her social media accounts on TikTok and Instagram , where you can ‘ meet @ @ @ @ @ feline companion , Bug .
Of course , she ’ s no stranger to sexism @ @ @ @ @ than a match for it , or she wouldn ’ t hold the position she @ @ @ @ @ to publicly put one sexist in his place after receiving yet another stupid comment on @ @ @ @ @ as in a part of a ship …you know what we meant .
The video @ @ @ @ @ It got the reaction it so richly deserved .
Best of all – a message @ @ @ @ @ …sort of .
Someone mansplained space to this astronaut and the takedown was out of @ @

Videos
Captain Kate McCue was the first American woman to become the captain of a cruise liner and she updates her fans on her interesting life via her social media accounts on TikTok and Instagram, where you can ‘meet’ her cute and furless feline companion, Bug.
Of course, she’s no stranger to sexism and she’s more than a match for it, or she wouldn’t hold the position she does, but she decided to publicly put one sexist in his place after receiving yet another stupid comment on TikTok.
Here’s what happened.
If you need any more clarification, you can find me here. In my captain’s chair.
BOOM! Not as in a part of a ship …you know what we meant.
The video ended up on Twitter.
BRILLIANT. Did not expect that… 🏆👑❤ pic.twitter.com/cx4dJBNmTY — Jay Arnold 🎬 (@jadedcreative) October 4, 2020
It got the reaction it so richly deserved.
This is the best way to shut people up! The subtle shade! 🔥🔥🔥 https://t.co/sEUIBD60YU — Dee LiNi🌹🦋 🇵🇭 ミ☆ (@juliantina5h_wh) October 5, 2020
Just witnessed a justifiable homicide. 🙂 https://t.co/786R23PaoS — Peter Shankman (@petershankman) October 5, 2020
Best of all – a message from another pioneering woman captain …sort of.
Listen to the Captain! She is doing an exemplary job.💫 https://t.co/hEM6frwGdu — Kate Mulgrew (@TheKateMulgrew) October 6, 2020
READ MORE
Someone mansplained space to this astronaut and the takedown was out of this world
Source Indy100 Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-07--James Corden reworked Paul McCartney’s ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’ as a Donald Trump update and it’s the perf

James Corden reworked Paul McCartney’s ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’ as a Donald Trump update and it’s the perfect own

After leaving the hospital and making a dramatic return to the White House , Donald Trump released a propaganda video @ @ @ @ @ would be proud of , along with a recorded speech , which both made light @ @ @ @ @ he was Superman for “ beating it* ” .
*His doctors say he isn ’ @ @ @ @ @ yet .
In response , The Late , Late Show with James Corden came up @ @ @ @ @ , courtesy of writer Lawrence Dai .
That would certainly explain his tweets , but @ @ @ @ @ been on the experimental cocktail for the last decade .
Naturally , it was shared @ @ @ @ @ It was so good , it spurred this reaction .
We ’ re not sure @ @ @ @ @ works , but it ’ s good to have hope .

Videos
After leaving the hospital and making a dramatic return to the White House, Donald Trump released a propaganda video that his friend Kim Jong-un would be proud of, along with a recorded speech, which both made light of the virus and implied he was Superman for “beating it*”.
*His doctors say he isn’t out of the woods yet.
Here’s his triumphant return.
And the statement.
In response, The Late, Late Show with James Corden came up with this absolutely brilliant parody, courtesy of writer Lawrence Dai.
“Maybe I’m just high from this experimental cocktail.”
That would certainly explain his tweets, but only if he’s been on the experimental cocktail for the last decade.
Naturally, it was shared on Twitter, too.
Inspired by President Trump's return to the White House, @JKCorden performs a special version of Paul McCartney's classic "Maybe I'm Amazed." pic.twitter.com/rbREeHRvZm — The Late Late Show with James Corden (@latelateshow) October 7, 2020
It was so good, it spurred this reaction.
We’re not sure that’s how it works, but it’s good to have hope.
READ MORE
Donald Trump’s post-Covid rant makes a lot more sense as Liza Minnelli
Source The Late Late Show With James Corden Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-07--The 16 funniest reactions to Donald Trump’s “feeling great” tweet

On the day he announced he had tested positive for coronavirus , Donald Trump went several hours without tweeting , @ @ @ @ @ will lose his monthly bonus if he doesn ’ t hit his target , he @ @ @ @ @ for it since then .
There was a long string of tweets citing reasons to @ @ @ @ @ Then there was this : But among a lot of other belligerent and sometimes incoherent @ @ @ @ @ health update .
People were a tad sceptical , or convinced his apparent rude health @ @ @ @ @ These were the funniest reactions .

Twitter
On the day he announced he had tested positive for coronavirus, Donald Trump went several hours without tweeting, but like a man who will lose his monthly bonus if he doesn’t hit his target, he has more than made up for it since then.
There was a long string of tweets citing reasons to vote, including these:
FIGHT THE CORRUPT FAKE NEWS MEDIA. VOTE! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 5, 2020
PEACE THROUGH STRENGTH (BRING OUR SOLDIERS HOME). VOTE! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 5, 2020
SPACE FORCE. VOTE! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 5, 2020
Then there was this:
Biden and Democrats just clarified the fact that they are fully in favor of (very) LATE TERM ABORTION, right up until the time of birth, and beyond – which would be execution. Biden even endorsed the Governor of Virginia, who stated this clearly for all to hear. GET OUT & VOTE!!! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 6, 2020
Spoiler alert – they didn’t.
But among a lot of other belligerent and sometimes incoherent tweeting, there was a health update.
FEELING GREAT! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 6, 2020
People were a tad sceptical, or convinced his apparent rude health might be chemically acquired.
These were the funniest reactions.
1.
2.
On a scale of one to Charlie Sheen, how high is the president right now? https://t.co/hymjXp1Wil — Devin Nunes' Alt-Mom (@NunesAlt) October 6, 2020
3.
me tweeting on my first night out after my last boyfriend dumped me https://t.co/HWHsG1RP6g — Sooz Kempner (@SoozUK) October 6, 2020
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.


thepoke--2020-10-07--People aren’t exactly blown away by the PM’s wind power plans – the only 5 responses you need

During his speech to the remotely held Conservative Party Conference , Boris Johnson pledged that offshore wind farms will be @ @ @ @ @ for every UK home by 2030 .
Of course , it ’ s very welcome @ @ @ @ @ to put money into green infrastructure , as the Green Party MP , Caroline Lucas @ @ @ @ @ you get too excited about the promise .
These five responses cover it perfectly .
@ @ @ @ @ ’ s “ fraying discipline ” had increased Covid numbers – 9 alternative suggestions

Twitter
During his speech to the remotely held Conservative Party Conference, Boris Johnson pledged that offshore wind farms will be responsible for generating enough power for every UK home by 2030.
“I remember how some people used to sneer at wind power, twenty years ago, and say it wouldn’t pull the skin off a rice pudding.”
For “some people”, read “I”.
"Some people used to sneer at wind power… and say it wouldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding," says Boris Johnson, who used to sneer at wind power, and say it wouldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding. pic.twitter.com/uEcDg6Ldce — Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) October 6, 2020
Of course, it’s very welcome news that the government intends to put money into green infrastructure, as the Green Party MP, Caroline Lucas, recognised.
Good to hear PM restate commitment to 40GW of offshore wind – always happy to welcome a convert! Now we need to scale up rapidly
– domestic electricity only one third of total electricity demand
– as we electrify transport & heating, we’ll need much more
https://t.co/Yx13AWSUJW — Caroline Lucas (@CarolineLucas) October 6, 2020
But before you get too excited about the promise.
Big news today: "Boris Johnson: Wind farms could power every home by 2030" Big news 13 years ago: pic.twitter.com/z0xEt2tZwT — Mhehed Zherting (@MhehedZherting) October 6, 2020
These five responses cover it perfectly.
1.
Boris Johnson says he will spend £160 million to become the WORLD-LEADER in wind power, after spending £12 billion to build a test-and-trace database on Microsoft Excel… So I'm sure this will go really well.#CPC2020 — Femi (@Femi_Sorry) October 6, 2020
2.
My plan is for the UK to become the Saudi Arabia of wind energy. Electricity will be free, but women will have get permission from a man before using any. — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) October 6, 2020
3.
Great news that the guy who built us that bridge to Ireland and that airport on an island has such an ambitious plan for wind power! — Hugo Rifkind (@hugorifkind) October 6, 2020
4.
Perhaps by “wind” he meant “verbal flatulence” https://t.co/KPegAGCxHP — Gavin Esler (@gavinesler) October 6, 2020
5.
Just to show how serious Boris Johnson and the Tories, are about Wind Power being the next big thing they have appointed Chris Grayling and Dido Harding to head up the operation. — Barrhead Boy (The dream shall never die) (@Scotpol1314) October 6, 2020
In cynical conclusion:
Snapshot of Boris's fantasy Britain: "Bye darling! I'm just off to climb aboard our carbon neutral jet so I can fly to the floating windmills and put in a hard day's work at the epicentre of the UK's exciting green industrial revolution." What a load of bollocks! — Kevin O'Sullivan (@TVKev) October 6, 2020
READ MORE
Boris Johnson said the public’s “fraying discipline” had increased Covid numbers – 9 alternative suggestions
Source Telegraph Image Screengrab, Nikita Ermilov


thepoke--2020-10-07--This one-man Killing In The Name by Rage Against the Machine is next level stuff

This one-man take of Rage Against The Machine ’ s Killing In The Name is simply next level stuff .
@ @ @ @ @ aaronpaulsen1 on Tiktok and went viral on Reddit because , well , have a watch @ @ @ @ @ a few of the comments it prompted on Reddit .
‘ I wish I could @ @ @ @ @ as well as he is all at the same time .
Yes , even the @ @ @ @ @ is why I pay for internet.
’ lnxslck This classic Tom Morello takedown just went @ @ @ @

Videos
This one-man take of Rage Against The Machine’s Killing In The Name is simply next level stuff.
It was posted by @aaronpaulsen1 on Tiktok and went viral on Reddit because, well, have a watch for yourself.
And just a few of the comments it prompted on Reddit.
‘I wish I could play one of those instruments as well as he is all at the same time. Yes, even the cowbell.’ PartyMcFly55 ‘I can barely sit on a chair.’ DistanceMachine ‘This is why I pay for internet.’ lnxslck
READ MORE
This classic Tom Morello takedown just went viral all over again
H/T Reddit u/r3dl3mon Source TikTok @aaronpaulsen1


thepoke--2020-10-08--Doris Lessing surely had the best response to anyone winning … anything

American poet Louise Glück won the Novel prize for literature today , which you can read all about here .
@ @ @ @ @ why we ’ re here .
We ’ re here because of this old Newsnight @ @ @ @ @ on Twitter which is surely the best response anyone ’ s had to winning anything @ @ @ @ @ Culkin wore a face mask of his younger self and it ’ s once seen @ @ @

Videos
American poet Louise Glück won the Nobel literature prize today, which you can read all about here.
Expect that’s not why we’re here. We’re here because of this old Newsnight clip shared by @JonnyGeller on Twitter which is surely the best response anyone’s had to winning anything quite so prestigious.
It’s the late Doris Lessing being told she’d won the Nobel prize for literature in 2007.
Whoever wins #NobelPrize for literature tomorrow, they will never beat this reaction by Doris Lessing.pic.twitter.com/IU50xp0Vvj — Jonny Geller (@JonnyGeller) October 7, 2020
A winning response.
This is truly next level and I love it so much. https://t.co/MFN7CAVjA7 — Hiss Golden Messenger (@hissgldnmssr) October 8, 2020
I aspire to be as unapologetic as Doris. https://t.co/yrsXZRrc20 — Leena Norms (@leenanorms) October 8, 2020
«I've one every bloody one. It's a royal flush.» Priceless. https://t.co/m6EwzpVqzD — Simone Meier (@SimoneMeier3) October 8, 2020
God, I fucking love her. Go and read THE FIFTH CHILD please, it'll unsettle the shit out of you. https://t.co/nm2FIOFdGA — James Smythe (@jpsmythe) October 8, 2020
Beautiful. https://t.co/61LGH1pM0B — Amethystinia Is Regrettably No Longer On Holiday (@Amethystinia) October 8, 2020
READ MORE
Macaulay Culkin wore a face mask of his younger self and it’s once seen, never unseen
Source @JonnyGeller @BBCNewsnight


thepoke--2020-10-08--Macaulay Culkin wore a face mask of his younger self and it’s once seen, never unseen

People love how Macaulay Culkin reminded people to wear a face mask on Twitter .
Culkin , who recently turned @ @ @ @ @ with a most familiar image of his younger self from Home Alone and it went @ @ @ @ @ ‘ Just staying Covid-safe wearing by the flayed skin of my younger self , ’ @ @ @ @ @ Culk – on Twitter .
And just in case you were wondering … It ’ @ @ @ @ @ 40th birthday , so here are 12 of his most hilarious tweets

Pics
People love how Macaulay Culkin reminded people to wear a face mask on Twitter.
Culkin donned a mask with a most familiar image of his younger self from Home Alone and it went viral, really viral.
‘Just staying Covid-safe wearing by the flayed skin of my younger self,’ said Culkin – @Incredible Culk – on Twitter. ‘Don’t forget to wear your masks, kids,’
Whoa there!
Are you gonna post a pic with the mask or? — Matt Cohen (@CamelToad) October 7, 2020
Reminded us of when he trolled the entire world by doing this.
Hey guys, wanna feel old? I'm 40. You're welcome. — Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) August 26, 2020
And just in case you were wondering …
You can get one here: https://t.co/2PmZ4hefVS — Minimalist Wave (@theminimalwave) October 7, 2020
READ MORE
It’s Macaulay Culkin’s 40th birthday, so here are 12 of his most hilarious tweets
Source @IncredibleCulk


thepoke--2020-10-08--Jemaine Clement went viral with his shutdown of this objection to his New Zealand Covid comparison

Over on Twitter , Jemaine Clement is as disbelieving as presumably everyone else at what is going on at the @ @ @ @ @ ’ s return from hospital despite being tested positive with Covid-19 .
He took to @ @ @ @ @ statistics after Ronna McDaniel , the chairwoman of the Republican National Committee ( who has @ @ @ @ @ had this to say .
Except this person on Twitter said it wasn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ Clement , of Flight of the Conchords and What We Do In the Shadows fame @ @ @ @ @ .
Boom .
Although Clement is rather good at this sort of thing .
You @ @ @ @ @ one … Jemaine Clement ’ s response to this climate change denier was out of @ @

Twitter
Over on Twitter, Jemaine Clement is as disbelieving as presumably everyone else at what is going on at the White House following Donald Trump’s return from hospital after being treated for Covid-19.
He took to Twitter to highlight a few statistics after Ronna McDaniel, the chairwoman of the Republican National Committee (who has tested positive for Covid-19) had this to say.
Current active cases in NZ: 37
in the White House: 34 https://t.co/oMcekPeM1i — Jemaine Clement (@AJemaineClement) October 8, 2020
Except this person on Twitter said it wasn’t a fair comparison.
Shutting down NZ is not the same as shutting down the USA. Not even close. — Keith Just (@keithjust) October 8, 2020
“Shutting down NZ is not the same as shutting down the USA. Not even close.”
And Clement, of Flight of the Conchords and What We Do In the Shadows fame, had the perfect response.
In not comparing NZ to the USA, I'm comparing it to one of the most secure BUILDINGS in the world. You couldn't keep it out of a fucking building? https://t.co/Qyl9AdRKgp — Jemaine Clement (@AJemaineClement) October 8, 2020
Boom. Although Clement is rather good at this sort of thing. You’ll probably remember this one …
Hey Jemaine, Why did you stop being funny? — John Meffen (@John_Meffen) August 25, 2017
Because I wanted to see what it was like to be John Meffen. https://t.co/egSsALe1bP — Jemaine Clement (@AJemaineClement) August 25, 2017
READ MORE
This Downfall take on Covid Trump’s return to the White House is perfect
Source @AJemaineClement


thepoke--2020-10-08--Every time Kamala Harris asked Mike Pence to stop interrupting is 13 seconds very well spent

The first presidential debate was chiefly memorable for Donald Trump constantly interrupting his rival candidate , Joe Biden , and @ @ @ @ @ word in edgeways .
So Biden ’ s running mate Kamala Harris made sure the @ @ @ @ @ happen in her vice presidential debate with Mike Pence .
And this compilation of all @ @ @ @ @ to stop talking is short but very , very sweet .
And just a few @ @ @ @ @ about it .
Fox News tried to take down Kamala Harris and it blew up @ @ @ @

Videos
The first presidential debate was chiefly memorable for Donald Trump constantly interrupting his rival candidate, Joe Biden, and barely letting him get a word in edgeways.
So Biden’s running mate Kamala Harris made sure the same thing didn’t happen in her vice presidential debate with Mike Pence.
And this compilation of all the times she asked Pence to stop talking is short but very, very sweet.
And just a few of the things people said about it.
I have just watched this 900 times in the last minute & will be watching it 900 times more. Gorgeous scenes. 👏 pic.twitter.com/emFFcY6kg1 — Hannah Jane Parkinson (@ladyhaja) October 8, 2020
The smile makes it *art*. https://t.co/pGzZ42lmCe — James Ball (@jamesrbuk) October 8, 2020
Every woman in a meeting/discussion/chat with men ever… https://t.co/qcDl2prOgJ — Nat (@__nca) October 8, 2020
https://twitter.com/flywithkamala/status/1314065385130426373?s=20
READ MORE
Fox News tried to take down Kamala Harris and it blew up right in their face
Source @girlboss


thepoke--2020-10-08--This missing hamster story had an unexpected twist in the tale

Over on Twitter , Tiger Webb shared some missing – and indeed , found – hamster photos he ’ d @ @ @ @ @ .
In case that ’ s a bit tricky to read – Hamish , a @ @ @ @ @ , been found “ under the fridge ” and then the owner of a female @ @ @ @ @ posted a picture of their “ virgin ” pet ’ s new babies .
What @ @ @ @ @ Hamish the dad ?
Had the absolute boy had himself quite the party during his @ @ @ @ @ post went viral , picking up over 60,000 retweets in a day , as well @ @ @ @ @ However , if a story seems too good to be true , that ’ s @ @ @ @ @ t .
Tiger has reached out to the original poster .
We ’ ll give @ @ @ @ @ reply , but it just looks like a silly prank – and that ’ s @ @ @ @ @ won ’ t see anything more surprised than this hamster given an unexpected prod

Popular
Over on Twitter, Tiger Webb shared some missing – and indeed, found – hamster photos he’d spotted out in the world.
this has been a saga pic.twitter.com/RKUTBxxBij — Tiger Webb (@tfswebb) October 7, 2020
In case that’s a bit tricky to read – Hamish, a male hamster, had escaped, been found “under the fridge” and then the owner of a female hamster, named Petunia, posted a picture of their “virgin” pet’s new babies.
What could have happened? Was Hamish the dad? Had the absolute boy had himself quite the party during his time at large?
The post went viral, picking up over 60,000 retweets in a day, as well as comments like these:
Okay but has he stepped up to the plate and taken responsibility yet?! THE PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW pic.twitter.com/PppXmcJNU7 — Troublemaker of Zion (@PreciousGNSD) October 8, 2020
Hamish is a love rat ! — Poneil69 (@Poneil69) October 7, 2020
However, if a story seems too good to be true, that’s probably because it isn’t.
i assume this is viral marketing for, like, Hamstr or w/e given the first image is a stock photo — Tiger Webb (@tfswebb) October 7, 2020
The last picture shows young Robovorski hamsters… a completely different species from the first two pictures (Syrian). Y’all believe anything on this site. They don’t even look alike. — alyssa (@asslyssa_) October 7, 2020
Tiger has reached out to the original poster.
the first sign included a number so i’ve texted them pic.twitter.com/gTIUG8RkvI — Tiger Webb (@tfswebb) October 7, 2020
We’ll give you an update if they reply, but it just looks like a silly prank – and that’s fine with us.
As @thehvlk pointed out …
who cares if it isn't real it's hilarious 😭😭 https://t.co/rgOZbT9LUT — natalie (@thehvlk) October 8, 2020
READ MORE
You won’t see anything more surprised than this hamster given an unexpected prod
Source Tiger Webb Image Tiger Webb


thepoke--2020-10-08--This Downfall take on Covid Trump’s return to the White House is perfect

You might think you ’ ve had enough of the Downfall meme some time ago .
But then this comes @ @ @ @ @ oh go on then , just the one more .
It ’ s a Downfall @ @ @ @ @ return to the White House just days after he was hospitalised with the coronavirus and @ @ @ @ @ watch for yourself .
Fox News tried to take down Kamala Harris and it blew @ @ @ @ @

Videos
You might think you’ve had enough of the Downfall meme some time ago. But then this comes along and you think, oh go on then, just the one more.
It’s a Downfall take on Trump’s return to the White House just days after he was hospitalised with the coronavirus and, well, have a watch for yourself.
Perfect.
https://twitter.com/RexChapman/status/1313947467134767112?s=20
This is the best thing ever!!! I’m going to retweet it every single time #TrumpMeltdown is trending. pic.twitter.com/rNI2RJr3Dn — Mystery Solvent (@MysterySolvent) October 8, 2020
READ MORE
Fox News tried to take down Kamala Harris and it blew up right in their face
Source Nestor Gomez Youtube Twitter


thepoke--2020-10-08--Fox News tried to take down Kamala Harris and it blew up right in their face

If you watch only one moment from Fox News today , make it this one .
An attempt to take down Kamala Harris ahead of last night ’ s vice-presidential debate with Mike Pence which didn ’ t go entirely the way they were expecting .
We ’ re presuming Pete Buttigieg , the American politician , Afghanistan war veteran and one-time Democratic presidential hopeful , won ’ t be invited back onto Fox News any time soon .
The pause at the end is the very best bit .
“ Well , there ’ s a classic parlour game @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of daylight between running mates .
“ And if people want to play that game we could look into why an evangelical Christian like Mike Pence wants to be on a ticket with a president caught with a porn star , or how he feels about the immigration policy that he called unconstitutional before he decided to team up with Donald Trump .
“ If folks want to play that game we could do it all night … ” And our favourite things people said about it .
And from the man himself @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
There ’ s a real buzz about the fly that landed on Mike Pence during the debate – the only 5 reactions you need

Videos
If you watch only one moment from Fox News today, make it this one.
An attempt to take down Kamala Harris ahead of last night’s vice-presidential debate with Mike Pence which didn’t go entirely the way they were expecting.
We’re presuming Pete Buttigieg, the American politician, Afghanistan war veteran and one-time Democratic presidential hopeful, won’t be invited back onto Fox News any time soon.
Holy shit Pete Buttigieg, holy shit!pic.twitter.com/oyomgkUtNA — Ricky Davila (@TheRickyDavila) October 8, 2020
Here’s what Buttigieg had to say (the pause at the end is the very best bit).
“Well, there’s a classic parlour game of trying to find a little bit of daylight between running mates. “And if people want to play that game we could look into why an evangelical Christian like Mike Pence wants to be on a ticket with a president caught with a porn star, or how he feels about the immigration policy that he called unconstitutional before he decided to team up with Donald Trump. “If folks want to play that game we could do it all night …”
Oof.
And our favourite things people said about it.
The stunned silence at the end is priceless. https://t.co/j5cQ1vB8Yt — Richard Marx (@richardmarx) October 8, 2020
Pete Buttigieg – Fox News might not let you back after you destroyed their set like that 😂#Debates2020 pic.twitter.com/pWyCvBwxjo — Nerdy Pursuit (@nerdypursuit) October 8, 2020
This is SO SATISFYING. https://t.co/QeSndhIgJ1 — Misha Collins — VOTE YOUR ASS OFF! (@mishacollins) October 8, 2020
The awkward silence and frozen moment after he finish is really cracking me up. https://t.co/UU7Xz3L2V5 — Ken Marino (@KenMarino) October 8, 2020
Someone didn’t get the memo.. FOX NEWS- mute the mic https://t.co/AcIbrZclga — Cari Champion (@CariChampion) October 8, 2020
This is an unbelievable answer!! https://t.co/U5toOdycRA — Rennae Stubbs (@rennaestubbs) October 8, 2020
LOLOL reminder this dude is a real life Sorkin character pic.twitter.com/l6b82uGTTZ — j.d. durkin (@jiveDurkey) October 8, 2020
Pete on Fox News is always must-watch TV https://t.co/2oL7BAhfb0 — Lis Smith (@Lis_Smith) October 8, 2020
Unclear why the Biden campaign doesn’t just tell Mayor Pete to go on Fox News every day between now and the election https://t.co/JEQvlBPdld — Sam Stein (@samstein) October 8, 2020
And from the man himself (no, not Mike Pence).
Most Americans tuning in tonight want to hear about how our families will be safer, after Donald Trump and Mike Pence have failed to protect us from this pandemic. #VPDebate pic.twitter.com/Zw5ZXK9Bic — Pete Buttigieg (@PeteButtigieg) October 8, 2020
READ MORE
There’s a real buzz about the fly that landed on Mike Pence during the debate – the only 5 reactions you need
Source @nerdypursuit


thepoke--2020-10-08--17 times manufacturers left a cheeky surprise for those who care to look

Like an Easter Egg in a film or TV show , manufacturers sometimes put a little something extra into their @ @ @ @ @ where to look , or more likely – for those who accidentally stumble upon them @ @ @ @ @ perfect examples of a hidden extra .
1 .
The gaming headset you shouldn ’ @ @ @ @ @

Pics
Like an Easter Egg in a film or TV show, manufacturers sometimes put a little something extra into their products for those who know where to look, or more likely – for those who accidentally stumble upon them.
These 17 things are perfect examples of a hidden extra.
1. The gaming headset you shouldn’t be taking to pieces
2. This very apt toilet serial number
3. A top tip from a clothing label
4. A safety message for men
5. Life advice from a water bottle
6. The sloth playing hide-and-seek on a beer label
7. That’s what they call a cheeky red
8. A sweet little message
9. Unusual moisturiser instructions


thepoke--2020-10-08--Gold wants your topical festive funnies for its Christmas Cracker joke competition

It ’ s that time of the year again when the nation ’ s favourite comedy channel Gold launches its annual Christmas cracker joke competition .
The good people of Gold are on the lookout for the very best gags covering all the ups and downs of an extraordinary 2020 ( what do you mean you missed it ? )
Donald Trump jokes have featured heavily in the competition in the last two years , including last year ’ s winner , ‘ Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate ?
He doesn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ gag also triumphed in 2018 : ‘ What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker ?
Pays her off.
’ The winner will receive £1,500 in experience vouchers , a festive-themed food and drink hamper and – we think this is the best bit – their very own joke included in a personalised set of crackers ready to pull on the big day .
Their winning joke will also be featured in Gold ad breaks throughout December .
Nine runners-up will receive a festive Christmas hamper , a box of bespoke @ @ @ @ @ @ @ six winning jokes – as well as seeing their joke on Gold .
The best jokes will be shortlisted by a panel led by Bruce Dessau , comedy critic and editor of comedy website Beyond The Joke .
Here ’ s what Bruce had to say .
‘ I ’ m sure we can all agree that 2020 has been one of the strangest and most turbulent yet However , despite the ups and downs , our British wit means we can always find something to smile about .
‘ From awkward family @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ m looking forward to see what comic gems emerge from this year ’ s Gold Christmas Crackers competition.
’ It is the eighth year Gold has run the competition to find topical and witty Christmas cracker jokes .
Gerald Casey , Gold channel director , said : ‘ This is a Gold tradition and every year I ’ m so impressed by the comedy talent of our viewers .
I ’ m looking forward to seeing what jokes the British public come up with this year.
’ The competition is open until @ @ @ @ @ @ @ People can enter by following @ GoldChannel on Twitter and tweeting an original , witty and family friendly Christmas joke with the hashtag # GoldCrackers .
Full terms and conditions here .
Happy gag-writing !
And don ’ t forget to make your jokes go with a bang .

Sponsored
Promoted by Gold
It’s that time of the year again when the nation’s favourite comedy channel Gold launches its annual Christmas cracker joke competition.
The good people of Gold are on the lookout for the very best gags covering all the ups and downs of an extraordinary 2020 (what do you mean you missed it?)
Donald Trump jokes have featured heavily in the competition in the last two years, including last year’s winner, ‘Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesn’t get on with China.’
A Trump gag also triumphed in 2018: ‘What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker? Pays her off.’
The winner will receive £1,500 in experience vouchers, a festive-themed food and drink hamper and – we think this is the best bit – their very own joke included in a personalised set of crackers ready to pull on the big day.
Their winning joke will also be featured in Gold ad breaks throughout December.
Nine runners-up will receive a festive Christmas hamper, a box of bespoke Gold Christmas crackers – including the top six winning jokes – as well as seeing their joke on Gold.
The best jokes will be shortlisted by a panel led by Bruce Dessau, comedy critic and editor of comedy website Beyond The Joke. Here’s what Bruce had to say.
‘I’m sure we can all agree that 2020 has been one of the strangest and most turbulent yet However, despite the ups and downs, our British wit means we can always find something to smile about. ‘From awkward family Zoom calls to Tiger King, I’m looking forward to see what comic gems emerge from this year’s Gold Christmas Crackers competition.’
It is the eighth year Gold has run the competition to find topical and witty Christmas cracker jokes.
Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, said: ‘This is a Gold tradition and every year I’m so impressed by the comedy talent of our viewers. I’m looking forward to seeing what jokes the British public come up with this year.’
The competition is open until 11.59pm on Sunday 25th October 2020.
People can enter by following @GoldChannel on Twitter and tweeting an original, witty and family friendly Christmas joke with the hashtag #GoldCrackers. Full terms and conditions here.
Happy gag-writing! And don’t forget to make your jokes go with a bang.


thepoke--2020-10-08--People have been parodying those excruciatingly over-privileged life hacks – 15 scathing takedowns

If you ’ ve ever seen one of those excruciating articles about “ How we got a mortgage at 21 @ @ @ @ @ our millionaire parents ” or “ Why everyone should take a year put to travel @ @ @ @ @ tweet from the amazing Lolly Adefope will definitely strike a chord with you .
It @ @ @ @ @ , who all lined up to parody the overprivileged .
They ’ re scathingly funny @

Twitter
If you’ve ever seen one of those excruciating articles about “How we got a mortgage at 21 with only the help of our millionaire parents” or “Why everyone should take a year put to travel in India”, this tweet from the amazing Lolly Adefope will definitely strike a chord with you.
hi! my name’s arabella: i’m a size 4, my parents bought me a house in london fields and here’s my 17 minute video on why YOU need to stop buying fast fashion!!!!!!!!!! — lolly (@lollyadefope) October 6, 2020
It certainly spoke to these people, who all lined up to parody the overprivileged. They’re scathingly funny.
1.
Hi Arabella, lovely to meet you. My name's Barnaby, my parents bought me a house in Kensington so I could be closer to pursuing my dream of being an artist. My studio is the house next door to mine which my parents also bought for me. Add me on tiktok – Selfmadeboy1990 — Steen Raskopoulos (@steenrasko) October 6, 2020
2.
hi! I loved your video! Check out my tiktok – I cook really easy healthy meals with my parents Waitrose groceries in their handmade kitchen! Anyone can be healthy it’s not expensive to buy fresh fruit and vegetables every day. If you’re fat it’s ur fault and I don’t respect u x — M (@mrvlr_) October 6, 2020
3.
Hey Arabella, my name’s Finn. I was recently profiled in a Hospitality 30 under 30, my brother went to Eton with the editor! They profiled my elevated take on Indian Food, inspired by my time posing for pictures with steeet kids Goa. Here’s my groundbreaking recipe for Dal! — Thomas Zahir (@tomzahir) October 6, 2020
4.
Hi Arabella – my name's Rohan. I started with nothing besides a 4k camera, complete set of lenses, computer, editing software and monthly money transfers from my father. And I can show YOU how to get clients and make some real money with my six step plan. Sign up now! — Adam Young (@_AdamYoung) October 6, 2020
5.
Hi Arabella, I’m Octavia Tuppence – maybe you’d like to join me for a spot of radical self-care cookery. You'll only need 4 ingredients – spirulina, boba tea, half an ice sculpture (whatever you have to hand), and the memory of a dream I had last Christmas. See you in the yurt! — muireann (@MisforMuireann) October 6, 2020
6.
Hi Arabella! I'm Jimothy, I once travelled through Vietnam and it changed my life. I've now opened a cool restaurant which my parents funded, where I top a Shepard's pie with kimchi and serve my take on Pho but with ramen noodles, in a miso broth and an Asian flavoured salad. — Lia 🎃 (@missconfig) October 6, 2020
7.
Hi bébé it’s Kimberleigh remember we hung out at the foie gras fundraiser for orphaned elephants so I’m working on a new yt about how easy it is to weave baskets underwater – gotta put that degree to good use! — sassy baker ✡ #blacklivesmatter (@freudianfoodie) October 7, 2020
8.


thepoke--2020-10-08--A thread of TikTok duets went viral after one joke song became a full-blown musical theatre experien

A thread of TikTok duets went viral after one joke song became a full-blown musical theatre experience

There ’ s a feature on TikTok , called duetting , that allows one person to record themselves interacting with @ @ @ @ @ .
What ’ s even better is that once a duet is created , that @ @ @ @ @ else can duet with that .
Over on Twitter , @ emmaspacelynn spotted a string @ @ @ @ @ in a thread .
It starts with @ danieljmertz singing about the breakdown of a @ @ @ @ @ s doing it in a grocery store .
And here ’ s the Twitter thread @ @ @ @ @ people ’ s minds .
From here onwards , things get a bit weird ( @ @ @

Videos
There’s a feature on TikTok, called duetting, that allows one person to record themselves interacting with another person’s video.
What’s even better is that once a duet is created, that becomes one video and someone else can duet with that.
Over on Twitter, @emmaspacelynn spotted a string of duets and shared them in a thread. It starts with @danieljmertz singing about the breakdown of a relationship – and he’s doing it in a grocery store.
Here’s Daniel’s original post.
And here’s the Twitter thread that’s been blowing people’s minds.
This thread is evidence of the way TikTok’s duet feature can result in the most hilarious and creative collaborations. Pretty much a guy wrote a musical number about a grocery store and everyone is adding onto it and I am deceased. Part 1 pic.twitter.com/4z5Mqbscgp — mom friend™ (@emmaspacelynn) October 5, 2020
Megan Gilbreath added the character’s partner.
Their offspring entered the picture.
And a store employee.
From here onwards, things get a bit weird(er).


thepoke--2020-10-08--There’s a real buzz about the fly that landed on Mike Pence during the debate – the only 5 reactions

There’s a real buzz about the fly that landed on Mike Pence during the debate – the only 5 reactions you need

After all the drama of Donald Trump ‘ s illness and apparent string of superspreader events , the Vice-presidential debate between current VP Mike Pence and his rival in the upcoming election , Kamala Harris , took something of a back seat .
As you ’ d expect , each side is claiming their candidate was the clear winner , but one thing everyone can agree on is that a fly temporarily stole the show .
Two minutes !
If it weren ’ t for social distancing , that would have been the perfect opportunity for Kamala Harris to smack @ @ @ @ @ @ @ would have got people ’ s attention .
There ’ s already at least one Twitter account dedicated to the fly .
Twitter reacted more effectively than the VP .
With impressive speed , the official Biden campaign fundraising site got this up .
Lest we forget , it wasn ’ t the first time a fly had tried to break into politics .
One final message from the fly .
Team Trump made several pre-debate excuses for a Biden win and people joined in – 11 funny favourites Source @ bubbaprog Image @

Weird World
After all the drama of Donald Trump‘s illness and apparent string of superspreader events, the Vice-presidential debate between current VP Mike Pence and his rival in the upcoming election, Kamala Harris, took something of a back seat.
As you’d expect, each side is claiming their candidate was the clear winner, but one thing everyone can agree on is that a fly temporarily stole the show.
Here’s what happened.
Total time a fly sat on Mike Pence's head: two minutes pic.twitter.com/PtI0rKSi5I — Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) October 8, 2020
Two minutes! If it weren’t for social distancing, that would have been the perfect opportunity for Kamala Harris to smack Pence across the head. Now that would have got people’s attention.
I’m sorry, but no normal person would allow a fly to crawl over his head for two minutes without swatting it away. — Jon Cooper (@joncoopertweets) October 8, 2020
There’s already at least one Twitter account dedicated to the fly.
me showing up to the debate pic.twitter.com/DVf2ldXt2u — Mike Pence's Fly  (@MikePenceFly___) October 8, 2020
the way i just sat there — Mike Pence's Fly  (@MikePenceFly___) October 8, 2020
Twitter reacted more effectively than the VP.
1.
He consistently went over his allotted time, ignored questions he didn't like while asking questions of his own, condescendingly "Pencesplained" so a woman could understand, tried to defend the indefensible & still, a fly got all the headlines! https://t.co/GyDb5TLSwx — Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) October 8, 2020
2.
i think the real star of tonight’s debate was the fly that mike pence hid in his hair to control him like ratatouille ❤ pic.twitter.com/q2MKXLaLY3 — Danny Phantom (@dannygonzalez) October 8, 2020
3.
That fly was just vibin up there pic.twitter.com/XfvexBZEbL — adam.the.creator (@AdamPadilla) October 8, 2020
4.
5.
"Hero? No. Honestly I was just doing what any fly would do, looking for a nice piece of decomposing shit to drop some larvae in, you know, to protect the next generation. I didn't know it was the Vice President until my friends started texting" pic.twitter.com/M3qtMtEZvQ — Shawn in Az (@ShawnInArizona) October 8, 2020
With impressive speed, the official Biden campaign fundraising site got this up.
Lest we forget, it wasn’t the first time a fly had tried to break into politics.
Obama swats a fly to demonstrate his situational awareness pic.twitter.com/4t78xQKRBT — Fifty Shades of Whey (@davenewworld_2) October 8, 2020
One final message from the fly.
gay rights! — Mike Pence's Fly  (@MikePenceFly___) October 8, 2020
READ MORE
Team Trump made several pre-debate excuses for a Biden win and people joined in – 11 funny favourites
Source @bubbaprog Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-08--Trump’s latest video is like an infomercial for snake oil and spray tan – 14 brutally frank reviews

Having returned to the White House on Monday in a blaze of melodrama and posturing , Donald Trump hadn ’ @ @ @ @ @ two whole days .
As if by magic , he appeared in a fairly long @ @ @ @ @ video , extolling the virtues of “ Regeneron ” – his name for the experimental @ @ @ @ @ Here he is in full infomercial mode .
To be clear , it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ doctors don ’ t yet know how well Trump really is , since he ’ @ @ @ @ @ of various treatments .
Another thing a lot of people noticed about the video was @ @ @ @ @ tan the President was sporting – even by his usual trowelled-on standards .
There was @ @ @ @ @ Luckily , Twitter was ready , willing and more than able to do it .

Twitter
Having returned to the White House on Monday in a blaze of melodrama and posturing, Donald Trump hadn’t been seen for almost two whole days.
Wednesday evening, GMT, saw #WhereIsTrump trend on Twitter.
As if by magic, he appeared in a fairly long – almost five minutes – video, extolling the virtues of “Regeneron” – his name for the experimental drug he was given.
I only got through a minute of this. It is rambling and incoherent. For starters, Trump thinks the drug cocktail he was given is named Regeneron. There is no drug called “Regeneron”. That’s the name of the drug company. It’s like saying “They injected some Pfizer into me!” https://t.co/PSfovs8ASP — The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) October 7, 2020
Here he is in full infomercial mode.
A MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT! pic.twitter.com/uhLIcknAjT — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 7, 2020
To be clear, it’s not a cure and the doctors don’t yet know how well Trump really is, since he’s still on his course of various treatments.
A MESSAGE FROM SOME DRUG-ADDLED SUPERSPREADING LUNATIC — Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) October 7, 2020
Another thing a lot of people noticed about the video was the extraordinary amount of fake tan the President was sporting – even by his usual trowelled-on standards.
Since getting sick with the virus, President Trump’s makeup has been more dramatic than usual, as if he’s trying to appear healthier with a darker shade of foundation or bronzer. Notice the stark contrast between his face and his ears and hands. pic.twitter.com/ab1CLIVVkh — Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) October 7, 2020
There was a lot to unpick. Luckily, Twitter was ready, willing and more than able to do it.
1.
"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such films as Old Man Wheezy On The Balcony and Whoops, Coronapocalypse!" pic.twitter.com/aAfYTp0Fvy — Enough Of That Now (@AndyGilder) October 7, 2020
2.
I mean fucking hell he looks like a oopma loopma that would offer to sing at funerals for coke https://t.co/R6iXqbSkA8 — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) October 7, 2020
3.
Trump calls his coronavirus infection a “blessing from God”? Funny, that’s exactly what I was calling it… — Cyrus McQueen (@CyrusMMcQueen) October 7, 2020
4.
With the sound off you look like you’re selling funeral plans — James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 7, 2020
5.
🎶I’d walk a million miles
For one of your smiles,
My Mammy 🎶 pic.twitter.com/UDsLoZ73uy — Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) October 7, 2020
6.
Trump looking like your 11 year old sister who got a hold of your make up bag and watched a YouTube video on contouring. pic.twitter.com/WIF0SimuQm — Louise Stewart (@LouiseStewart) October 7, 2020
7.


thepoke--2020-10-08--This musical remix of Kamala Harris telling Mike Pence he’s got a fly on his head is just brilliantl

This musical remix of Kamala Harris telling Mike Pence he’s got a fly on his head is just brilliantly done

There were lots of talking points from Kamala Harris ’ s TV debate with Mike Pence , but nothing quite @ @ @ @ @ as the fly that landed on the vice-president ’ s head .
In the unlikely @ @ @ @ @ , here it is .
All two minutes of it .
Now @ EclecticMethod over @ @ @ @ @ and it ’ s tremendous .
There ’ s a real buzz about the fly @ @ @ @ @ during the debate – the only 5 reactions you need

Pics
There were lots of talking points from Kamala Harris’s TV debate with Mike Pence, but nothing quite captured people’s imagination as the fly that landed on the vice-president’s head.
In the unlikely event that you missed it, here it is. All two minutes of it.
Total time a fly sat on Mike Pence's head: two minutes pic.twitter.com/PtI0rKSi5I — Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) October 8, 2020
Now @EclecticMethod over on Twitter have done this and it’s tremendous.
It’s a hit!
“You Have a Fly on your Head” it’s a banger… https://t.co/aUuJHw7jdX — Rex Chapman🏇🏼 (@RexChapman) October 8, 2020
anyone; how was the VP debate?
everyone; https://t.co/FiLs7t98dW — Casey Neistat (@Casey) October 8, 2020
Honored to see that @EclecticMethod made a song about me. It's helping me get through with my recovery! https://t.co/Go9Vi138DO — Pence's Fly (@MichaelsFly) October 8, 2020
READ MORE
There’s a real buzz about the fly that landed on Mike Pence during the debate – the only 5 reactions you need
Source @EclecticMethod


thepoke--2020-10-08--David Baddiel prompted people to come up with alternative names to the ‘Isis Beatles’ – 8 favourites

You might have seen in the news that two British-born citizens alleged to have been members of an Isis execution @ @ @ @ @ the US to face trial .
They were two of a four man squad known @ @ @ @ @ the Beatles ’ because of their British accents and the media is constantly referring to @ @ @ @ @ David Baddiel has had enough .
We couldn ’ t agree more .
The reason @ @ @ @ @ his tweet prompted people to suggest alternatives and some of them were very good indeed @ @ @ @ @ the best … And here ’ s what @ Baddiel said later .
Let ’ @ @ @ @ @ on .
David Baddiel had the perfect one-line response to Katie Hopkins slagging off ‘ @ @ @ @ @ comedy ’

Twitter
You might have seen in the news that two British-born citizens alleged to have been members of an Isis execution squad have been flown to the US to face trial.
They were two of a four man squad known by their captives as ‘the Beatles’ because of their British accents and the media is constantly referring to them as such, and David Baddiel has had enough.
Can we stop it with this Beatles thing? I mean at least chose a less well-loved band. Also there’s only two of them. So I’m going to suggest Dollar. pic.twitter.com/SUIqTK0rmN — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) October 8, 2020
We couldn’t agree more. The reason we mention it is because his tweet prompted people to suggest alternatives and some of them were very good indeed.
1.
Since there are already 130 replies I’m assuming ‘Shakespeare’s Isister’ has gone. — Daniel Maier (@danielmaier) October 8, 2020
2.
Jihadiwaddy — Unnamed Insider (@Unnamedinsider) October 8, 2020
3.
Soft Sleeper Cell? — edgarwright (@edgarwright) October 8, 2020
4.
May I suggest the KLF-ate? https://t.co/NLMxY1BWjD — Robert Bound (@RobertBound) October 8, 2020
5.
Assume ‘Brotherhood of Iman’ is taken? — Robin (@RobinWriteSmith) October 8, 2020
6.
Crosby, Stills & Daesh? — So we beat on… (@julesobee) October 8, 2020
7.
I’m copywriting Isister Sledge for next time there are three female suspects. — Con Murphy (@c0nmurph) October 8, 2020
But this was surely the best …
808 Islamic State — john sturgis (@sturgios) October 8, 2020
And here’s what @Baddiel said later.
We have a winner. https://t.co/Iw4hO76zKd — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) October 8, 2020
Of course technically it should be 808 So-Called Islamic State, but I'll let that pass. — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) October 8, 2020
Let’s see if it catches on.
READ MORE
David Baddiel had the perfect one-line response to Katie Hopkins slagging off ‘lefties and their excuse for comedy’
Source @Baddiel


thepoke--2020-10-08--Andrew Cotter trying to do DIY with his dogs is a lovely watch

Sports commentator Andrew Cotter ’ s back with another video of him and Twitter ’ s two favourite dogs , @ @ @ @ @ time he ’ s trying to do a bit of DIY and it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ as ever .
You can find Andrew on Twitter here and YouTube here ( he @ @ @ @ @ book out ) .
And here ’ s another favourite from months gone by .
@ @ @ @ @ doing online dating and it ’ s a very funny watch

Videos
Sports commentator Andrew Cotter’s back with another video of him and Twitter’s two favourite dogs, Olive and Mabel.
This time he’s trying to do a bit of DIY and it’s as reassuringly lovely and funny as ever.
Using this time to get a few things done at home. pic.twitter.com/6k8wrgxUfL — Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) October 7, 2020
You can find Andrew on Twitter here and YouTube here (he’s also got a book out).
Mostly I miss rugby and golf – but seriously what they hell are we going to do if you have start bloody commentating again — Monners (@monners1969) October 7, 2020
And here’s another favourite from months gone by.
Just hoping she can mend her ways. pic.twitter.com/d2YCniSNux — Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) July 14, 2020
READ MORE
Andrew Cotter caught his dogs doing online dating and it’s a very funny watch
Source @MrAndrewCotter


thepoke--2020-10-08--Record Olympian Max Whitlock cleans up with ‘L’eau de Laundry’ launch

Turns out you no longer have to be wearing fresh laundry to smell of … fresh laundry .
Record Olympic gold medal winner Max Whitlock has launched a unique new fragrance that ‘ captures the essence of freshly laundered clothes ’ .
The unisex fragrance has been created to celebrate the arrival of Samsung ’ s new ecobubble washing machine and perfectly captures the elusive scent of ‘ clean sheets ’ which has just been voted the nation ’ s favourite smell .
The Team GB gymnast stars in a series of spoof ads for ‘ Freshly Laundered – Eco @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fragrance adverts including Brad Pitt ’ s commercials for Chanel No 5 .
Samsung audited 2,000 British adults to discover the nation ’ s favourite smells , with fresh laundry landing at the top of the pile , followed by clean bedsheets , cakes baking , the seaside air and cut grass .
Here ’ s what Whitlock , the most successful British male artistic gymnast in history , had to say .
The new fragrance was created by expert perfumer Sarah McCartney and contains four musks which evoke the smell of a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with aromas of lily of the valley .
It is available to the first 10 customers who buy a new ecobubble washing machine from Samsung KX , an ‘ experience space ’ in King ’ s Cross in London , beginning today until 23 October .
A select number of the bottles – which look like miniature versions of the eco bubble machines , made out of glass – are also available to win via @ SamsungUK on social media .

Pics
Turns out you no longer have to be wearing fresh laundry to smell of … fresh laundry.
Record Olympic gold medal winner Max Whitlock has launched a unique new fragrance that ‘captures the essence of freshly laundered clothes’.
The unisex fragrance has been created to celebrate the arrival of Samsung’s new ecobubble washing machine and perfectly captures the elusive scent of ‘clean sheets’ which has just been voted the nation’s favourite smell.
The Team GB gymnast stars in a series of spoof ads for ‘Freshly Laundered – Eco Edition’, paying homage to classic fragrance adverts including Brad Pitt’s commercials for Chanel No 5.
Samsung audited 2,000 British adults to discover the nation’s favourite smells, with fresh laundry landing at the top of the pile, followed by clean bedsheets, cakes baking, the seaside air and cut grass.
Here’s what Whitlock, the most successful British male artistic gymnast in history, had to say.
“I had a huge amount of fun creating a range of spoof ads for the new Samsung ecobubble, it’s even better knowing that I’m helping to launch a product that’s eco-friendly and is making a difference to the environment.”
The new fragrance was created by expert perfumer Sarah McCartney and contains four musks which evoke the smell of a fresh garden and fresh water, paired with aromas of lily of the valley.
It is available to the first 10 customers who buy a new ecobubble washing machine from Samsung KX, an ‘experience space’ in King’s Cross in London, beginning today until 23 October.
A select number of the bottles – which look like miniature versions of the eco bubble machines, made out of glass – are also available to win via @SamsungUK on social media.


thepoke--2020-10-09--‘I have been preparing for months’

‘I have been preparing for months’

‘ I have been preparing for months , ’ said DutchDawn0 over on Reddit and the world can rest assured @ @ @ @ @ screw it up .
‘ Your dedication to creating quality content is the stuff of @ @ @ @ @ , I was gon na be very upset if that turned while you were still @ @ @ @ @ day ?
Could be worse , you could have just installed this underfloor heating

Videos
‘I have been preparing for months,’ said DutchDawn0 over on Reddit and the world can rest assured, they didn’t screw it up.
Mission accomplished.
‘Your dedication to creating quality content is the stuff of legends.’ bigdigger80 ‘Phew, I was gonna be very upset if that turned while you were still at 99.8.’ BillsMafia607 ‘And then the crash happened.’ siandresi
READ MORE
Bad day? Could be worse, you could have just installed this underfloor heating
Source Reddit u/DutchDawn0


thepoke--2020-10-09--We’ve trawled through Twitter for the funniest things so you don’t have to – the 25 best

The weekend is so close , we can not only smell it and taste it but we keep tripping over @ @ @ @ @ trying to get to the kettle for a tea break .
Of course , that @ @ @ @ @ for this – the weekly round-up of the funniest things we ’ ve seen on @ @

Twitter
The weekend is so close, we can not only smell it and taste it but we keep tripping over it while we’re trying to get to the kettle for a tea break.
Of course, that means it’s time for this – the weekly round-up of the funniest things we’ve seen on Twitter.
1.
Do you know what really makes me angry? Testosterone, adrenaline, and a deficiency of serotonin. — Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) October 4, 2020
2.
every day my dad fills up the dishwasher and every day he asks if I have any glasses in my room and every day I tell him that I don’t wear glasses — Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) October 5, 2020
3.
I don't think we discuss enough how ABSOLUTELY INSANE it is that caterpillars turn into butterflies. This should literally be the leading story on the news every single night. — Richard Osman (@richardosman) October 3, 2020
4.
I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it ☹ — Arthur Smith (@ArfurSmith) October 5, 2020
5.
hi! my name’s arabella: i’m a size 4, my parents bought me a house in london fields and here’s my 17 minute video on why YOU need to stop buying fast fashion!!!!!!!!!! — lolly (@lollyadefope) October 6, 2020
6.
Not knowing enough about Greek mythology is my Achilles knee. — David Stokes (@scottywrotem) October 6, 2020
7.
Lambasted (n): sheep born out of wedlock. — Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) October 7, 2020
8.
When I am an old woman I shall wear orange
so the grandkids can't write a shit poem about me — Sam Whyte (@SamWhyte) October 6, 2020
9.
Lovecraft predicted Limp Bizkit https://t.co/5cBbo2FuHM — 👻 Tobias Harris' Contract 👻 (@tholzerman) October 5, 2020
10.
Smeared lens makes me look like the ghost of your dead wife approving of your new girlfriend pic.twitter.com/VgY6Md0L1C — Spooky Safety Eleanor Morton (@EleanorMorton) October 7, 2020
11.
When people ask me if my other senses have intensified since losing my hearing pic.twitter.com/t8PEQw8FSK — becca 🤟🏻🧏🏼♀🦻🏻 (@beccamals) October 6, 2020
12.


thepoke--2020-10-09--This snowball fight from 1896 colourised and speed adjusted is an amazing watch

This is just amazing , a snowball fight from 1896 that ’ s been colourised and speed-adjusted and , well @ @ @ @ @ The more things change , the more we stay the same .
Mostly .
Here @ @ @ @ @ things people said about it after it was shared on Reddit by ‘ It ’ @ @ @ @ @ that people used to be just as childish in every generation.
’ Domi_Marshall ‘ The @ @ @ @ @ pulverized was epic.
’ OhJustANobody ‘ Funny how he fucked right back off to where @ @ @ @ @ guess the destination wasn ’ t worth that bullshit.
’ Crass_Conspirator ‘ Yeah , but @ @ @ @ @ cooler that they helped him up and send him off .
This is a magical @ @ @ @ @ 28 British jokes from Victorian times that ’ ll make your stiff upper lip curl @ @ @

Videos
This is just amazing, a snowball fight from 1896 that’s been colourised and speed-adjusted and, well, have a watch for yourself (we prefer it with the sound off but each to their own).
The more things change, the more we stay the same. Mostly.
And here are just some of the things people said about it after it was shared on Reddit by azgrunt.
‘It’s so easy to forget that people used to be just as childish in every generation.’ Domi_Marshall ‘The dude on the bike getting pulverized was epic.’ OhJustANobody ‘Funny how he fucked right back off to where he came from. I guess the destination wasn’t worth that bullshit.’ Crass_Conspirator ‘Yeah, but I think it was even cooler that they helped him up and send him off. This is a magical scene :)’ wearebobNL
Left his hat, though.
And here’s the original!
‘This goes to show how dangerous snowball fights are, every single person show in this video has died, take that into consideration before your next snowball fight.’ Skyb3lla
READ MORE
28 British jokes from Victorian times that’ll make your stiff upper lip curl into a smile
Source Reddit u/azgrunt YouTube


thepoke--2020-10-09--Bad day? Could be worse, you could have just installed this underfloor heating

To be filed under ‘ having a bad day ?
Could be worse … ’ comes this video of a home which just installed underfloor heating .
Except it didn ’ t work out quite like they were hoping .
‘ I like how they are just sitting casually and not panicking about how the living room floor is having a mental breakdown.
’ iatethis_ ‘ We had some new large tiles put in our old house and when they were installed they used very narrow grout lines and the tiles butted against the wall/fireplace rather than having a gap @ @ @ @ @ @ @ floor , just due to normal temperature fluctuations , one day a line of tiles exploded violently with a deafening gunshot sound.
’ TheJollyHermit ‘ I was about to comment similar , that I don ’ t think this is from the heated part specifically , more that they didn ’ t leave expansion room for normal temperature fluctuations ( not to mention the more extreme change from the heated part ) .
’ Psych0matt If you ’ re having a bad day it could be worse , you could be this Swedish @ @ @ @

Videos
To be filed under ‘having a bad day? Could be worse …’ comes this video of a home which just installed underfloor heating.
Except it didn’t work out quite like they were hoping.
Oh no.
‘I like how they are just sitting casually and not panicking about how the living room floor is having a mental breakdown.’ iatethis_ ‘The floor is lava.’ Pudi2000 ‘We had some new large tiles put in our old house and when they were installed they used very narrow grout lines and the tiles butted against the wall/fireplace rather than having a gap covered by trim. Without a heated floor, just due to normal temperature fluctuations, one day a line of tiles exploded violently with a deafening gunshot sound.’ TheJollyHermit ‘I was about to comment similar, that I don’t think this is from the heated part specifically, more that they didn’t leave expansion room for normal temperature fluctuations (not to mention the more extreme change from the heated part).’ Psych0matt ‘Popfloorn.’ nectar_
READ MORE
If you’re having a bad day it could be worse, you could be this Swedish guy missing a train
H/T Reddit u/BrightenthatIdea Source gfycat


thepoke--2020-10-09--Reward Stickers For Parents

Reward Stickers For Parents

Parenting is bloody hard at times and can often feel like an unrewarded task ( yeah , yeah , aside @ @ @ @ @ you and your kid have for each other , obviously ) .
Therefore we ’ @ @ @ @ @ stickers for parents , to reward them for successful daily parenting tasks – those small @ @ @ @ @ the kids be the only ones who get praised ?

Exclusive
Parenting is bloody hard at times and can often feel like an unrewarded task (yeah, yeah, aside from that unconditional love stuff you and your kid have for each other, obviously). Therefore we’ve come up with some stickers for parents, to reward them for successful daily parenting tasks – those small wins – because why should the kids be the only ones who get praised?
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thepoke--2020-10-09--Takedown of the week

Takedown of the week

Takedown of the week is won by this response to a Christian who wanted to know how atheists could possibly @ @ @ @ @ asteroid but dinosaurs didn ’ t .
Boom .
Although not as big as the @ @ @ @ @ , presumably .
It went viral over on Reddit , with these just some of @ @ @ @ @ about it .
‘ When the flintstones are your representation of evolutionary history.
’ UnicornHostels @ @ @ @ @ at this answer .
Fun fact though .
There were mammals around at that time @ @ @ @ @ survived was due to their size .
Very small , rodent-sized mammals can survive with @ @ @ @ @ whereas obviously huge dinosaurs can not .
This is also why the smaller raptors also @ @ @ @ @ birds.
’ Oishiio42 Takedown of the week ( not this week , another week )

Weird World
Takedown of the week is won by this response to a Christian who wanted to know how atheists could possibly explain how caveman survived the asteroid but dinosaurs didn’t.
Boom. Although not as big as the boom all those years ago, presumably.
It went viral over on Reddit, with these just some of the things people were saying about it.
‘When the flintstones are your representation of evolutionary history.’ UnicornHostels ‘What an absolute triceratops.’ UnicornHostels ‘I snorted my coffee at this answer. Fun fact though. There were mammals around at that time, and the reason they survived was due to their size. Very small, rodent-sized mammals can survive with not a lot of food whereas obviously huge dinosaurs cannot. This is also why the smaller raptors also survived and eventually evolved into birds.’ Oishiio42
READ MORE
Takedown of the week (not this week, another week)
Source Reddit u/beNeon Image Pixabay


thepoke--2020-10-09--Masks, the cinema and being forced to get dressed – 15 funny takes on the pandemic

As parts of Scotland go into stricter lockdown and England awaits the verdict on a two-week “ circuit breaker ” @ @ @ @ @ house isn ’ t the only pandemic problem on the minds of Twitter ’ s @ @ @

Twitter
As parts of Scotland go into stricter lockdown and England awaits the verdict on a two-week “circuit breaker”, being stuck in the house isn’t the only pandemic problem on the minds of Twitter’s funny people.
1.
I'm glad they're persisting with shutting pubs and restaurants at 10, as it makes no difference but looks as if something's being done. They should try more rules like this, such as 'all teaspoons must face north' or 'no one can eat a tomato in the afternoon'. — Mark Steel (@mrmarksteel) October 7, 2020
2.
No thanks, school picture day 2020. My kids' faces from this year have already been burned into my brain forever. — the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) October 7, 2020
3.
I ordered a mask simply because it matches my couch, in case you're wondering how my quarantine experience is going. — 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) October 6, 2020
4.
My bus driver just looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I cant let you on without a mask, sorry love" and is still giggling to himself as he drives. God bless ya you little bus driving comedian pic.twitter.com/co3Yssmy5y — Kellie Dawson (@BigFashionista) October 6, 2020
5.
“Have you considered retraining as hens?” pic.twitter.com/FkylKZ5tnV — Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) October 6, 2020
6.
I don’t even like going to the cinema when there isn’t a pandemic. I like to watch a film in my underpants getting shitfaced on gin, and they were surprisingly pissy about it at the Odeon. — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) October 5, 2020
7.
James Bond has pussied out of a pandemic.
It’s a bit off-brand. — Geoff Norcott (@GeoffNorcott) October 5, 2020
8.


thepoke--2020-10-09--Donald Trump had a message for ‘vulnerable not vulnerable’ older people – only 6 responses you need

We live in worrying times , especially if you are an older person who the entirety of science suggests is @ @ @ @ @ others .
Donald Trump had an only mildly confusing message for these older people and @ @ @ @ @ you need to know .
Not about vulnerable people .
About Trump .
We hope @ @ @ @ @ This musical remix of Kamala Harris telling Mike Pence he ’ s got a fly @ @ @ @ @ brilliantly done

Videos
We live in worrying times, especially if you are an older person who the entirety of science suggests is more susceptible to Covid-19 than others.
Never mind though because help is at hand from Donald Trump, an older person who has had the coronavirus himself so surely knows what he’s talking about.
Over to you, Mr President!
Trump speaks to senior citizens about COVID: “You’re not vulnerable, but they like to say the vulnerable, but you’re the least vulnerable — but for this one thing you are vulnerable.” pic.twitter.com/eyZDRwur1p — The Recount (@therecount) October 8, 2020
We hope that clears everything up.
This ain't the meds talkin', folks. https://t.co/JC0YkSYiL2 — Michael Steele (@MichaelSteele) October 8, 2020
This is why Trump is down by 27 points with seniors https://t.co/7baj7jODuD — Preet Bharara (@PreetBharara) October 8, 2020
His brain is a scribble. https://t.co/YrchdjDA50 — Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) October 9, 2020
Finally someone brave enough to unpack the whole vulnerable thing. https://t.co/yixbkpMGb6 — Stephen Mangan (@StephenMangan) October 8, 2020
Guys, I wrote this for him and I feel the response has been unfair. https://t.co/xVxU4g8avu — billy eichner (@billyeichner) October 8, 2020
What's more reassuring than clarity? https://t.co/8lsooyJ0HJ — Jeffrey Wright (@jfreewright) October 8, 2020
To conclude …
hahahahahaha holy shit HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA https://t.co/mTv0r2zngW — Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) October 8, 2020
And this.
This guy has the codes to the nukes. https://t.co/iP47vP6qYW — Elizabeth Banks (@ElizabethBanks) October 9, 2020
READ MORE
This musical remix of Kamala Harris telling Mike Pence he’s got a fly on his head is just brilliantly done
Source Twitter @therecount


thepoke--2020-10-09--This guy’s talk-through of “the worst family photo ever made” just gets funnier and funnier

We ’ ve all seen those terrible posed family photos that people insist on having taken – in fact , @ @ @ @ @ terrible family photos , and we tend to keep them hidden .
Over on TikTok @ @ @ @ @ has turned disaster to triumph as he talked us through the worst photo of his @ @ @ @ @ worst family photo ever made “ , in his words .
It starts off funny @ @ @ @ @ .
“ I look like my name is Carol and that I run the local @ @ @ @ @ Baptist church.
” “ Mu uncle looks like he sings country songs – directly into @ @ @ @ @ and follow Sean on TikTok or Twitter for more explanations of his photo collection – @ @ @ @ @ family WINS Christmas with their six years of family photos

Videos
We’ve all seen those terrible posed family photos that people insist on having taken – in fact, we’ve all got terrible family photos, and we tend to keep them hidden.
Over on TikTok, however, Sean Phipps has turned disaster to triumph as he talked us through the worst photo of his family, or “the worst family photo ever made“, in his words.
It starts off funny and gets better and better.
Part 1.
“My younger sister is a ghost, apparently.”
“I look like my name is Carol and that I run the local knitting group down at the Baptist church.”
Part 2.
“My uncle looks like he sings country songs – directly into a glory hole.”
Go and follow Sean on TikTok or Twitter for more explanations of his photo collection – and other stuff.
READ MORE
This family WINS Christmas with their six years of family photos
Source Sean M Phipps Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-09--This guy cleans his oven every time he uses it and, well, it’s a proper jaw-dropper

‘ My 20 year old cousin got his own apartment and it ’ s going pretty well , ’ says @ @ @ @ @ .
The text exchange went madly viral and here are just some of the things @ @ @ @ @ .
Andrew Cotter trying to do DIY with his dogs is a lovely watch

Weird World
‘My 20 year old cousin got his own apartment and it’s going pretty well,’ says @HenpeckedHal over on Twitter.
No!
The text exchange went madly viral and here are just some of the things people were saying about it.
This is so fantastic. Please , we need to know how this ends and what else is happening in that apartment! — Robyn’s World (@RobynsWorldd) October 8, 2020
“I need a beer for this” lmao — BlackLivesMatterDefundThePolice (@dduncombe) October 8, 2020
Please make sure he knows to remove lint from the drier. Now I’m all worried about this poor lad. — Anna C (@AnnaCinWV) October 8, 2020
when I got to “blood” I knew something was off — sarah (@slwein) October 8, 2020
At least he’s cleaning it every time after? 🤷🏼♀😅 — Spinelli ϟ (@Ashylyn14) October 8, 2020
Probably very quickly realized that if he didn’t he’d be living in a poorly run smokehouse. — Patrick Frawley (@StatesOfMotion) October 8, 2020
To conclude …
This is the best thing on twitter today! You win!! When can we expect the next episode? — Curious Bystander❓ (@NCaDaPi) October 8, 2020
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Andrew Cotter trying to do DIY with his dogs is a lovely watch
Source Twitter @HenpeckedHal


thepoke--2020-10-09--This video of Ant and Dec’s delight at a multi-tool pen is oddly heartwarming

One of the best things about Ant and Dec is how close the presenters are in real life , and @ @ @ @ @ many things that better show how much they are on the same page than this @ @ @ @ @ hidden extras of a pen .
Perhaps a little too much information , but still @ @ @ @ @ to think badly of these two , but it might have been a well-rehearsed distraction @ @ @ @ @ work .
On an unrelated note – where can we buy one of these marvellous @ @ @ @ @ like Ant and Dec , this will make you like them 50 % more

Videos
One of the best things about Ant and Dec is how close the presenters are in real life, and there can’t be many things that better show how much they are on the same page than this clip of them discovering the hidden extras of a pen.
This pen has everything… except loo roll 🧻 🙈 pic.twitter.com/Gtf6OmxRC3 — antanddec (@antanddec) October 4, 2020
Perhaps a little too much information, but still bizarrely endearing.
Not been that fussed about Ant & Dec since Byker Grove but I've watched this about 5 times and it's weirdly uplifting pic.twitter.com/MbOgbjp639 — Jonno (@jonnohopkins) October 5, 2020
Please, no body show them a Swiss Army Knife. They’d be catatonic 🤯🤣 — Hollie Shaw (@shaw_shaw1519) October 8, 2020
Ant & Dec looking at a pen. Seven series commissioned of this please @itvstudios https://t.co/NCQABOzAn2 — Matt Box (@mattboxxx) October 6, 2020
We hate to think badly of these two, but it might have been a well-rehearsed distraction from not having done their work.
Editor: Rachel have you edited that article
Me: DECLAN
Editor:…
Me: ITS TWO SCREWDRIVERS https://t.co/LmR5XK95My — Rachel Charlton-Dailey (@RachelCDailey) October 6, 2020
On an unrelated note – where can we buy one of these marvellous pens?
READ MORE
However much you like Ant and Dec, this will make you like them 50% more
Source Ant and Dec Image Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-09--People shared their worst possible situation and Gary Lineker’s won hands down

Writer Joel Golby imagined a nightmare scenario and shared it with Twitter …along with a challenge .
People were inspired @ @ @ @ @ nightmares .
All truly awful , clearly , but Gary Lineker ‘ s nightmare was @ @ @ @ @ the worst – because it was true .
This is what he was talking about @ @ @ @ @ you ’ re of a delicate disposition .
Which goes to show that if you @ @ @ @ @ which people will inevitably take the piss – you might as well own it .
@ @ @ @ @ gag about Piers Morgan ’ s Spitting Image puppet

Twitter
Writer Joel Golby imagined a nightmare scenario and shared it with Twitter …along with a challenge.
what's the worst possible situation you could wake up and find yourself in? for me i come to in an anonymous american mansion as one half of a husband and wife tiktok prank couple — Joel Golby (@joelgolby) October 8, 2020
THE HORROR!
He added a couple of updates.
third time this week she's pretended to saw her hand off while chopping an onion. still i am forced to respond with the same extreme panicked gusto. sisyphus can you let me have a go on that rock mate — Joel Golby (@joelgolby) October 8, 2020
starting to doubt everything i do. we're sincerely trying for a baby but after month after month of fake-out pregnancy tests i don't know what is real anymore. i watch my reflection blink back at me. the water from the shower runs charcoal black. the devil lives inside of me — Joel Golby (@joelgolby) October 8, 2020
Pretty bleak, right? Very 2020-worthy.
People were inspired to respond with their own nightmares.
Wake up, 20 missed calls, 15 discord messages, horrendous hangover, PC still on, banned on twitch 😥 https://t.co/vIwbICL0oz — Hayzer (@HayzerSmite) October 8, 2020
Your dog brings you the newspaper and you've been outed as a paedo on the front page. The mob is at your door — Paul Gibbins (@paulgibbins) October 8, 2020
waking up next to boris johnson, who is alive — Luke, an unsettling graveyard orphan (@Beardynoise) October 8, 2020
I wake up as the toilet in the en suite of the Oval Office — Moss (@alxstm) October 8, 2020
All truly awful, clearly, but Gary Lineker‘s nightmare was at once the best and the worst – because it was true.
Play for my country in a World Cup game with hundreds of millions watching and shit myself on the pitch. https://t.co/79rcs6Dneq — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) October 8, 2020
This is what he was talking about. Look away now if you’re of a delicate disposition.
Which goes to show that if you’ve done something for which people will inevitably take the piss – you might as well own it.
I told ‘em straight, “I’ve shit on a pitch once, and if you keep looking at me like that, I’ll do so again. 😬 pic.twitter.com/lY2ikViMb5 — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) October 6, 2020
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Gary Lineker had the best gag about Piers Morgan’s Spitting Image puppet
Source Joel Golby Image Joel Golby, Screengrab


thepoke--2020-10-09--The 15 funniest responses to the government’s career advice questionnaire

During an interview this week , Rishi Sunak said that not all jobs could be saved and that some people @ @ @ @ @ As it was in response to a question about the Arts sector , it was @ @ @ @ @ specific message to the creative industries .
It wasn ’ t well received , to @ @ @ @ @ Director at Hodder and Stoughton , Melissa Cox , spotted a tool that might help @ @ @ @ @ – a government-endorsed career advice questionnaire .
It contains statements such as : These have @ @ @ @ @ scale of ‘ Strongly agree ’ to ‘ Strongly disagree ’ , then suitable careers @ @ @ @ @ Here ’ s what Twitter thought of it .

Popular
During an interview this week, Rishi Sunak said that not all jobs could be saved and that some people would have to retrain.
As it was in response to a question about the Arts sector, it was widely reported as being a specific message to the creative industries.
It wasn’t well received, to say the least.
So the dopes in gov telling musicians and people in arts to retrain and get another job what and become massive cunts like you nah yer alright c’mon you know LG x — Liam Gallagher (@liamgallagher) October 6, 2020
Editorial Director at Hodder and Stoughton, Melissa Cox, spotted a tool that might help people find a new path – a government-endorsed career advice questionnaire.
Making everyone I know find an alternative government approved career via this assessment https://t.co/FgyaO4TzRm — melissa cox (@mmdotcox) October 7, 2020
It contains statements such as:
I am comfortable telling people what to do. I think I am a competitive person. I enjoy working with other people around me.
These have to be ranked on a scale of ‘Strongly agree’ to ‘Strongly disagree’, then suitable careers are suggested. Theoretically.
Here’s what Twitter thought of it.
1.
yeah nice one government I'll just go retrain as a smell wizard or a go and touch naked people during a global pandemic cheers pic.twitter.com/UU2Qvufl7K — TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) October 7, 2020
2.
Filling in the new government skills assessment, excited to see my new career options! pic.twitter.com/6ccjwVANPq — sam (@despicable_meme) October 7, 2020
3.
4.
Not impressed with the government's career advisory service. How do they expect me to pay this bills on a salary like this?! pic.twitter.com/FhQk1xrfoJ — Adam Kay (@amateuradam) October 7, 2020
5.
Me, a journalist, trying the government careers advice website in 2020:
Lock keeper
Airline pilot
Meat process worker Now I’m wondering if there’s still time for me to become a lion tamer. pic.twitter.com/f7JRl08gYI — Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) October 7, 2020
6.
Going through government retraining quiz results pic.twitter.com/tZbA4asXrO — Tom Campbell (@TomCampbell) October 7, 2020
7.
Did the govt career thing. It’s told me to retrain as an actor! Oh well nevermind. — John Linney in the house (@thejohnlinney) October 8, 2020
8.


thepoke--2020-10-09--England may have beaten Wales but God Save the Queen was the real loser

On Thursday evening , England played Wales in their first friendly as opponents since 1976 , which is – of @ @ @ @ @ of either team were born .
Due to the current covid rules , no fans @ @ @ @ @ that there were no extra voices to join in with this extraordinary rendition of God @ @ @ @ @ ’ d heard singing wasn ’ t allowed , so it ’ s good to @ @ @ @ @ rules .
“ National anthem ” trended on Twitter for hours , and it wasn @ @ @ @ @ music executives lining up to offer the squad a recording deal .
Here ’ s @ @ @ @ @ .
GAV reminded us that it wasn ’ t the worst performance of a national @ @ @ @ @ surely still takes that top spot .
Oh , and the score was 3 – @ @ @ @ @ Trump did a John Redwood trying to sing the American national anthem

Twitter
On Thursday evening, England played Wales in their first friendly as opponents since 1976, which is – of course – before the players of either team were born.
Due to the current covid rules, no fans were present, which meant that there were no extra voices to drown out join in with this extraordinary rendition of God Save the Queen.
The @England national anthem without a crowd really exposes the bad singers in Southgate's team! SOUND ON!#ENGWAL pic.twitter.com/p1Oi6CjumP — beIN SPORTS (@beINSPORTS_EN) October 8, 2020
We’d heard singing wasn’t allowed, so it’s good to see they stuck to the rules.
“National anthem” trended on Twitter for hours, and it wasn’t because there were music executives lining up to offer the squad a recording deal.
Here’s what people were really saying.
1.
2.
As Louis Walsh would say " they made that their own" — spurgle5 (@spurgle5) October 8, 2020
3.
Sounds worse than a school choir!! pic.twitter.com/P2bYWT0hMS — Carl Reader (@CarlReader) October 8, 2020
4.
Jeeez! Don't let Queenie hear that – she'll have a stroke! https://t.co/arjt495w3i — jonestheboat (@jonestheboat) October 8, 2020
5.
GAV reminded us that it wasn’t the worst performance of a national anthem ever, because this surely still takes that top spot.
I think we've found a new worst rendition of a national anthem at a sporting since Roseanne's murdered the US national anthem in San Diego in 1990. #nationalanthem https://t.co/MFr00CT33U pic.twitter.com/MhqqaMpoTl — GAV  (@simsyg) October 8, 2020
Oh, and the score was 3 – 0 to England.
READ MORE
Donald Trump did a John Redwood trying to sing the American national anthem
Source beIN SPORTS Image Screengrab, Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels


thepoke--2020-10-09--This dog’s reaction after it chose the wrong hand is far too relatable

‘ I could watch this dog ’ s reaction all day , ’ says Josh Jordan – @ NumbersMuncher – @ @ @ @ @ ’ s hope he got a giant treat straight after .
This cat thinking long @ @ @ @ @ dog is 36 seconds very well spent

Videos
‘I could watch this dog’s reaction all day,’ says Josh Jordan – @NumbersMuncher – over on Twitter.
I could watch this dog's reaction all day pic.twitter.com/duKliqn96t — Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) October 6, 2020
Awwww!
I have chosen…poorly… — Mike Howard (@ElPolloDiabloX) October 6, 2020
I feel sad. Have I missed the point? 😐 — Jodie Janin (@JodieJanin) October 6, 2020
This dog must be snuggled immediately, he must be persuaded that he has true friends — Carey Cuprisin 🐝 (@CuprisinCarey) October 6, 2020
Let’s hope he got a giant treat straight after.
🤣🤣🤣 Needs one more thing… pic.twitter.com/LKoxnjB7Co — Duke Keith (@dukekeith) October 6, 2020
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This cat thinking long and hard about hitting this dog is 36 seconds very well spent
Source @NumbersMuncher