thepoke--2020-06-09--The only 5 cynical reactions you need to the pubs reopening in England

Monday saw the confirmation of a widely spread rumour that England ’ s pubs would be allowed to open from @ @ @ @ @ for outdoor consumption only .
So – beer gardens .
It was met with understandable @ @ @ @ @ with plenty of people girding their loins and their livers for the big day .
@ @ @ @ @ However , these five comments really captured the cynicism on Twitter .
Of course , @ @ @ @ @ interesting to see who turns up … Wetherspoons owner Tim Martin says people should keep @ @ @ @ @ – only 5 responses you need

News
Monday saw the confirmation of a widely spread rumour that England’s pubs would be allowed to open from the 22nd of June – for outdoor consumption only. So – beer gardens.
It was met with understandable glee in some quarters, with plenty of people girding their loins and their livers for the big day.
pubs open on 22nd june, happy monday everyone — J (@xjordanlouise) June 8, 2020
pubs opening on the 22nd? chilli chips here i come — Amrit (@amritkbassi) June 8, 2020
Others were less sure.
Scotland: 0 deaths in 48 hours, extends shielding till 31st July England: 200 average deaths per day, opens pubs from 22nd June. 🤯🤯🤯 — Raushan (@Theatre0fDreams) June 8, 2020
However, these five comments really captured the cynicism on Twitter.
1.
We are reopening pubs on 22nd June.
In unrelated news, please welcome my newly appointed replacement for Professor Van-Tam.#DailyUpdate pic.twitter.com/OXyOhsPizg — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) June 8, 2020
2.
The “pubs reopening” lockdown discussion: “Apparently they’re reopening pubs soon”
“How’s that going to work?”
“They’re saying you’ll still have to distance”
“Can’t see that working can you?”
“Can you imagine people distancing after a few drinks?”
“Well this is what I’m saying” — VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) June 8, 2020
3.
The pubs are reopening on June 22nd in the UK.
I still can't hug my mum but at least I'll be able to go and spend a fiver on a glass of wine. — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) June 8, 2020
4.
I wonder why pubs are opening on 22nd June when the R rate is at 1 and threat level is at 4? Oh. pic.twitter.com/bbeiFj3hJ1 — Cromwell (@Cromwell606) June 8, 2020
5.
"Boss."
"What."
"People are still quite angry."
"Why?"
"Well, the Cummings story, you know."
"That's all?"
"No, there's also institutional racism, government incompetence, fear of a no-deal Brexit, the lot."
"OK let's distract them."
"How?"
"Tell them we open the pubs." pic.twitter.com/wri4Aenw3O — Matthias Eberl 🇪🇺 (@eberlmat) June 8, 2020
Of course, it’ll be very interesting to see who turns up …
hope everyone who’s complaining about the protests won’t be flocking to pubs on the 22nd june .. Surely a pint isn’t more important than advocating for basic human rights? — ella (@ellawwfc) June 8, 2020
READ MORE
Wetherspoons owner Tim Martin says people should keep going to pubs despite coronavirus – only 5 responses you need
Image @BorisJohnson_MP


thepoke--2020-06-08--This American’s guide to making ‘British tea’ has united the country in horror

You might remember a little while ago the American mum whose guide to ‘ how we make tea in America @ @ @ @ @ watch .
Well it turns out we didn ’ t know the half of it @ @ @ @ @ s shared a guide to ‘ making British tea ’ and , well , watch @ @ @ @ @ of a sensitive disposition , look away now ) .
And it ’ s fair @ @ @ @ @ finally found something to unite the country in these troubled times .
Here are our @ @ @ @ @ it .
Just in case anyone was wondering … This mum ’ s guide to @ @ @ @ @ in America ‘ is 100 % WTF

Twitter
You might remember a little while ago the American mum whose guide to ‘how we make tea in America’ was a profoundly distressing watch.
Well it turns out we didn’t know the half of it.
Because now she’s shared a guide to ‘making British tea’ and, well, watch this (tea drinkers of a sensitive disposition, look away now).
cant even describe the anger that is running through my body right now pic.twitter.com/WJzfvfN0yv — liz (@lizziecrawley) June 7, 2020
And it’s fair to say we’ve finally found something to unite the country in these troubled times.
Here are just some of the things people were saying about it.
This is an act of war pic.twitter.com/DLsHoZVX0G — James Felton (@JimMFelton) June 8, 2020
Some things are so harrowing you just wish you could unsee them but know you never can — Matt Atkinson 🇪🇺 (@Runner_Akie) June 8, 2020
The way she says 'and that's how you make hot tea' at the end literally filled me with sickness and rage — Ellie (@elliecdobbs) June 7, 2020
I’m profoundly disturbed — Neil Henderson (@hendopolis) June 8, 2020
Just in case anyone was wondering how to do it properly …
https://twitter.com/bglendenning/status/1270030145034780672?s=20
To conclude …
I regret to inform you the Tea Butcher is at it again pic.twitter.com/0LKyy3Epec — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) June 8, 2020
And this.
Didn’t expect World War 3 to start like this, but nothing really surprises me anymore. https://t.co/ufsdaF8UGA — Nick Stone (@typejunky) June 8, 2020
READ MORE
This mum’s guide to ‘how we make tea in America ‘ is 100% WTF
Source @lizziecrawley


thepoke--2020-06-08--This thread of David Tennant as Thermos flasks is warming our soul today

It ’ s David Tennant as Thermos flasks and just when you think it can ’ t possibly go on @ @ @ @ @ best look for yourself .
This thread of David Bowie as ice lollies is just @ @ @ @ @

Pics
Simply a wonderful thread by the great @Pandamoanimum.
It’s David Tennant as Thermos flasks and just when you think it can’t possibly go on any longer, well, best look for yourself.
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David Tennant as thermos flasks. A thread. pic.twitter.com/Vd43ounCqg — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) June 5, 2020
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Brilliantly done.
You are so good at this 😊 — Sara McS (@jsaramc) June 5, 2020
I love these threads so much. 💖😁💖 — Vicki Wistow (@VickiWistow) June 5, 2020
Follow @pandamoanimum now!
READ MORE
This thread of David Bowie as ice lollies is just the thing we needed today
Source @Pandamoanimum


thepoke--2020-06-08--A brilliant thread for anyone in two minds about the Bristol statue toppling

You ’ ll have seen by now how Black Lives Matters protestors toppled a statue of a slave trader in @ @ @ @ @ of people cheering , on the one hand , and on the other were people @ @ @ @ @ who condemned it as ‘ utterly disgraceful … thuggery ’ .
Somewhere in the middle @ @ @ @ @ to see it go but wondered if it couldn ’ t have been taken down @ @ @ @ @ council ?
And this rather brilliant thread , by historian and author Prof Kate Williams @ @ @ @ @ for them .
And just a few of the things people were saying about it @

Twitter
You’ll have seen by now how Black Lives Matters protesters toppled a statue of a slave trader in Bristol.
Edward Colston statue pulled down by BLM protesters in Bristol. Colston was a 17th century slave trader who has numerous landmarks named after him in Bristol. #BlackLivesMattters #blmbristol #ukprotests pic.twitter.com/JEwk3qKJx2 — Jack Grey (@_jackgrey) June 7, 2020
It had lots of people cheering, on the one hand, and on the other were people like Home Secretary Priti Patel who condemned it as ‘utterly disgraceful … thuggery’.
Somewhere in the middle were people who were delighted to see it go but wondered if it couldn’t have been taken down by, say, the council?
And this rather brilliant thread, by historian and author Prof Kate Williams, might very well be for them.
1.
People who say – authorities should take statues down after discussion. Yes. But it isn't happening. Bristol'sbeen debating #EdwardColston for years and wasn't getting anywhere. In 2018, it was agreed that statue would bear a plaque noting his involvement in the slave trade. BUT — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
2.
Then it proved impossible to find a wording that everyone accepted. The first plaque that it bore, added when it was erected in 1895, said 'Erected by citizens of Bristol as a memorial of one of the most virtuous and wise sons of their city'. NO mention of slavery. (2) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
3.
Later in 2018, Bristol Council unveiled the wording for the second plaque, “As a high official of the Royal African Company from 1680 to 1692, Edward Colston played an active role in the enslavement of over 84,000 Africans (including 12,000 children) of whom over 19,000 died (3) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
4.
en route to the Caribbean and America. Colston also invested in the Spanish slave trade and in slave-produced sugar. As Tory MP for Bristol (1710-1713), he defended the city’s ‘right’ to trade in enslaved Africans. Bristolians who did not subscribe to his religious and (4) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
5.
political beliefs were not allowed to benefit from his charities'. The wording had been discussed by various groups, including children from Colston Primary School (name now changed). But it proved impossible for the Council to get it through. (5) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
6.
Some councillors objected. And then the Merchant Venturers got involved and pushed for various changes, including removing the reference to 12,000 children and to focus on his philanthropy (and not to note it was selective) (6) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
7.
The new plaque read, Edward Colston, 1636-1721, MP for Bristol 1710-1713, was one of this city’s greatest benefactors. He supported and endowed schools, almshouses, hospitals and churches in Bristol, London and elsewhere. Many of his charitable foundations continue. This (7) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
8.
was erected in 1895 to commemorate his philanthropy. A significant proportion of Colston’s wealth came from investments in slave trading, sugar and other slave-produced goods. As an official of the Royal African Company from 1680 to 1692, he was also involved in the (8) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
9.
transportation of approximately 84,000 enslaved African men, women and young children, of whom 19,000 died on voyages from West Africa to the Caribbean and the Americas. (9) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
10.
As you can see, the language on the two plaques is radically different. The second says his wealth came from sugar etc and he was 'also involved in the transportation' of slaves – rather as if he sort of built boats but didn't know what was going on.Focus was on philanthropy (10) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
11.
The Council refused this altered plaque and the Office of the Mayor, Marvin Rees, who has been on TV today, rightly said it was 'unacceptable', particularly the lack of reference to those enslaved. That was in Spring 2019 and the plaque has been under discussions ever since. (11) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
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Some Bristolians said to me privately that they were pessimistic about the likelihood of an agreed text and thus that the only plaque for ever more on Colston would be the one calling him 'virtuous and wise'. (12) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
13.
So everyone saying, why couldn't Bristol just discuss it and bring it down through agreement? It's not that simple. While statues are being discussed and changes blocked, black people have to pass them daily, seeing the congratulation of slave trading, their horror and pain. (13) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
14.
For great information on the debates over #Colston in Bristol, the newspaper The Bristol Post (who is covering the events today in detail) on their site Bristol Live is excellent and proof if anyone needed it of how needed are our local newspapers. (14) — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
15.
a long thread, I know. But language matters and the debates over the plaque epitomizes to me so many of the big questions we must confront in this country as so much of this country's riches gained in the past stem from the misery of others. — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
16.
and thanks for coming to my public history class on statues and power in Britain. Now you all need to write your essays…. — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
17.
thank you so for your kind words, everyone, so pleased this thread has been of use. — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 7, 2020
And these are just a few of the things people were saying about it.
This superlative thread completely demolishes the argument that the statue could have been removed legally. (Some people are making this argument in good faith, of course.) https://t.co/jHHn2ZCioh — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) June 8, 2020
I fucking love smart people filling everyone in. https://t.co/lNueaDKHPv — Daniel J. Layton (@DanielJLayton) June 7, 2020
This is a really good thread on the history of the wrangling over the colston statue which really does answer the “why can’t they put up an explanatory contextualising plaque” question. I admit that’s been my usual preferred option for statues & I now question that stance https://t.co/v0FiDQ7Kd1 — Caroline Criado Perez (@CCriadoPerez) June 7, 2020
READ MORE
Bristol Black Lives Matter protesters toppled a statue of a slave trader – 14 smashing reactions
Source @KateWilliamsme


thepoke--2020-06-08--Priti Patel said the Bristol statue toppling was ‘utterly disgraceful … thuggery’ – only 5 replies y

Priti Patel said the Bristol statue toppling was ‘utterly disgraceful … thuggery’ – only 5 replies you need

Home secretary Priti Patel has left people in no doubt how she feels about the toppling of a slave trader @ @ @ @ @ protestors in Bristol .
Here ’ s what she said on Twitter , alongside a @ @ @ @ @ s Daily Mail ( what else ? )
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And she said this on Sky @ @ @ @ @ the only 5 responses you need .

Twitter
Home secretary Priti Patel has left people in no doubt how she feels about the toppling of a slave trader statue by Black Lives Matter protesters in Bristol.
Here’s what she said on Twitter, alongside a front page of today’s Daily Mail (what else?).
These demonstrations have been subverted by thuggery. Justice will follow. pic.twitter.com/CL3gfOthkg — Priti Patel (@pritipatel) June 8, 2020
And she said this on Sky News.
Home Secretary Priti Patel says the toppling of a statue of slaver Edward Colston in Bristol is "utterly disgraceful" and 'undermines' anti-racism protests. Follow live updates: https://t.co/mA24orfJu0 pic.twitter.com/3P9oft9uZH — SkyNews (@SkyNews) June 7, 2020
And these are the only 5 responses you need.
Actually it’s done more to educate people about slavery that anything I can think of. I (shamefully) had never heard of this awful man, not had many others, it’s opening this countries eyes up to our past – fully support the gesture — Matt (@MCpolitico) June 7, 2020
Does @pritipatel even know who Edward Colston was?
He was a major slave trader involved in the transportation of 84,000 enslaved African men, women & young children, of whom 19,000 died on voyages from West Africa to the Caribbean & the Americas. https://t.co/a11ZzLWt7h — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 7, 2020
It’s utterly disgraceful that a statue to a slaver survived as long as it did. https://t.co/hj1uxTtJ8d — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 7, 2020
I think it's "utterly disgraceful" that you were promoted after conducted secret meetings with a foreign state, and that "undermines" any perceived authority. pic.twitter.com/e58bP90o6K — Dr Meenal Viz (@meenalsworld) June 7, 2020
Priti Patel: "It is a completely unacceptable act. Sheer vandalism and disorder are completely unacceptable. It's right that police follow up on that and make sure that justice is taken with those individuals responsible for such disorderly and lawless behaviour." pic.twitter.com/NuKXeuYeYn — Richard Littler (@richard_littler) June 7, 2020
To conclude …
If you were in any doubt that the toppling of the Colston statue is a great thing: https://t.co/xY4mVb46hC — Sathnam Sanghera (@Sathnam) June 7, 2020
READ MORE
Bristol Black Lives Matter protesters toppled a statue of a slave trader – 14 smashing reactions


thepoke--2020-06-08--Sarah Vine said this about the Black Lives Matter protests and Piers Morgan’s comeback was perfect

Daily Mail columnist Sarah Vine had this to say about the weekend ’ s Black Lives Matter protests in London @ @ @ @ @ And there were lots of good responses but Piers Morgan ’ s was the best @ @ @ @ @ Michael Gove , of course , wasn ’ t leaving it there .
But neither @ @ @ @ @ ’ s takedown of the far-right YouTuber furious he ’ d been blocked had everyone @

Twitter
Daily Mail columnist Sarah Vine had this to say about the weekend’s Black Lives Matter protests in London, Bristol and elsewhere.
Imagine how much more powerful this weekend’s demos would have been if people had just stood in grim silence, 2 metres apart from each other, in memory of Mr Floyd and others like him. — Sarah Vine (@WestminsterWAG) June 8, 2020
And there were lots of good responses but Piers Morgan’s was the best.
Imagine how many more people might be still obeying lockdown rules if Dominic Cummings hadn't broken them, with the full support of the Prime Minister & cabinet ministers? The Govt wrecked its own lockdown, not people protesting at the disgusting racist murder of a black man. https://t.co/BHEwkcUEo6 — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 8, 2020
Vine, married to Michael Gove, of course, wasn’t leaving it there.
People aren’t as stupid as you seem to think they are, @piersmorgan. You helped blow the whole Cummings thing out of proportion for clicks and ratings – and as such must share responsibility for consequences thereof. You have power, but you don’t always use it wisely, I’m afraid. — Sarah Vine (@WestminsterWAG) June 8, 2020
But neither was Morgan.
Wow.
81% of the British public think Cummings broke the rules.
Are they all stupid?
As for using power wisely, I really wouldn't go there given your husband's one of the people most responsible for this Govt's disastrous handling of the crisis. https://t.co/NAJCUor1uB — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 8, 2020
You did a similar thing when my daughter had a Covid test. As a result – not wholly, but in part – she was horribly – and I mean really horribly – abused. Like I said, you have great power and great talent – but I would urge you to be mindful about how you deploy it. https://t.co/2H6Asakltr — Sarah Vine (@WestminsterWAG) June 8, 2020
Michael was given preferential treatment for your daughter to have a test to allow him to go back to work, at a time when many frontline health workers were not able to do the same. That seemed an abuse of power – no? https://t.co/OpjMYvRl6G — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 8, 2020
READ MORE
Piers Morgan’s takedown of the far-right YouTuber furious he’d been blocked had everyone cheering
Source Twitter Images screengrabs @_jackgrey


thepoke--2020-06-08--The location of Bristol’s Edward Colston statue has been edited on Google Maps and it’s perfect

As you will have no doubt seen by now , Black Lives Matter protestors in Bristol decided to put an @ @ @ @ @ about what the city should do about the statue of slave trader , Edward Colston @ @ @ @ @ end of comment ( you can read 14 smashing reactions here ) .
Now Google @ @ @ @ @ reflect this latest development .
Perfect !
And so was this .

Pics
As you will have no doubt seen by now, Black Lives Matter protestors in Bristol decided to put an end to the ongoing debate about what the city should do about the statue of slave trader, Edward Colston.
And it prompted no end of comment (you can read 14 smashing reactions here).
Now Google Maps has been updated to reflect this latest development.
https://twitter.com/Mahalildn1/status/1269651890729598976?s=20
To be filed under ‘too good to check’.
Also, this happened.
https://t.co/IzJU3l9eCn They haven’t wasted any time updating Wikipedia either. — David French (@davidwfrench) June 7, 2020
And this.
READ MORE
Bristol Black Lives Matter protesters toppled a statue of a slave trader – 14 smashing reactions
Source @Mahalildn1 H/T Indy100


thepoke--2020-06-08--Our top ten funny takes on coping with the coronavirus crisis

It may not be at the forefront of everyone ’ s minds right now , but the coronavirus is still @ @ @ @ @ We ’ ve had a look through Twitter to see what people have been saying @ @ @ @ @ were the best takes we saw .
We might have been reading between the lines @ @ @ @ @ There are more than a few hypocrites out there .
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Some of the @ @ @ @ @ the curve .
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We ’ re getting really bored now .
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@ @ @ @ @ curtailed .
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There have been unexpected costs at a time when money has @ @ @ @ @ .
Stable doors are open and the horses are galloping all over the place .
@ @ @ @ @ even shorter supply than pasta .
9 .
Let ’ s face it – we @ @ @ @ @ best .
10 .
Some of us are ready to resign so we can spend @ @ @ @ @ .
Our 15 favourite funny takes on life in the time of Covid-19

Twitter
It may not be at the forefront of everyone’s minds right now, but the coronavirus is still affecting all our lives.
We’ve had a look through Twitter to see what people have been saying about it, and these were the best takes we saw.
We might have been reading between the lines a little.
1. There are more than a few hypocrites out there.
f**k sake- just look at all these selfish dicks on the beach ruining our fun… pic.twitter.com/1OTpQvvkZb — forest fr1ends (@forest_fr1ends) May 29, 2020
2. Some of the community was way ahead of the curve.
Soon the only way to avoid chlorinated chicken will be to go halal. On top of that remember to keep your face covered and absolutely no filthy hanky panky for unmarried couples. FFS Britain if you want to be Muslim just ask! — Adil Ray OBE (@adilray) June 5, 2020
3. Government consistency has been notably absent.
Please remember what we told you about face masks serving no purpose at all and being completely unnecessary.
Please also remember that they are compulsory on public transport from 15 June. — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) June 6, 2020
4. We’re getting really bored now.
I'm at the dismantling the toaster to see where the toast comes from stage of the lockdown. It's fine.. — Scott McCafferty (@RevMcCafferty) June 7, 2020
5. Our options have been severely curtailed.
We're off to the tip.
This is the most exciting thing to happen in 3 months pic.twitter.com/pgG3eWzu3f — joe heenan (@joeheenan) June 8, 2020
6. There have been unexpected costs at a time when money has been really tight.
Using my stimulus check to replace all the printer ink the kids used during homeschooling. — Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 7, 2020
7. Stable doors are open and the horses are galloping all over the place.
Requiring face masks three months in to a pandemic is like requiring condoms at the baby shower — Gem (@GemCrypto) June 6, 2020
8. Logic is in even shorter supply than pasta.
From tomorrow we introduce a quarantine for anyone coming into the UK.
This to protect us from their lower infection rates and tiny death tolls.#COVID19 — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) June 7, 2020
9. Let’s face it – we aren’t looking our best.
This lockdown is making me feel like PS1 Madam Hooch pic.twitter.com/OBax66DVvB — Kate Eaglesfield (@KateEaglesfield) June 7, 2020
10. Some of us are ready to resign so we can spend less time with our families.
After three months of quarantine, my family has reported me to HR. — The Alex Nevil (@TheAlexNevil) June 7, 2020
READ MORE
Our 15 favourite funny takes on life in the time of Covid-19
Image @forest_fr1ends


thepoke--2020-06-08--Boris Johnson thinks the Brexit deal he made is unfair –  our 11 favourite responses

Although everyone ’ s attention has been on the coronavirus and Black Lives Matter , Brexit negotiations have continued , @ @ @ @ @ lot less attention than they would otherwise have done .
There will have to be @ @ @ @ @ Britain and Northern Ireland .
What they said before Brexit : The UK will allow @ @ @ @ @ chicken .
What they said before Brexit : Now , it has emerged that Boris @ @ @ @ @ deal agreed and signed by *checks notes* Boris Johnson , and wants it changed .
@ @ @ @ @ Conservative newspaper , The Sunday Express , reported it .
And this is what Twitter @ @ @ @ @ matter .
What about that oven-ready deal , then ?
Fiona Bruce owned Matt Hancock @ @ @ @ @ Brexit deal and it was brutal viewing

Twitter
Although everyone’s attention has been on the coronavirus and Black Lives Matter, Brexit negotiations have continued, with some announcements attracting a lot less attention than they would otherwise have done.
For example:
There will have to be checks on goods crossing between Britain and Northern Ireland.
What they said before Brexit:
Via
The UK will allow the unlimited import of chlorine-washed chicken.
What they said before Brexit:
Via
Now, it has emerged that Boris Johnson is unhappy about the deal agreed and signed by *checks notes* Boris Johnson, and wants it changed.
Here’s how die-hard Conservative newspaper, The Sunday Express, reported it.
SUNDAY EXPRESS: Boris wants to fix unfair Brexit deal #TomorrowsPapersToday pic.twitter.com/QpipjHHbvG — Neil Henderson (@hendopolis) June 6, 2020
And this is what Twitter had to say on the matter.
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Boris Johnson reopened the Withdrawal Agreement, made it *worse* for the UK, signed it, backed off from what had been agreed, now claims what he signed wasn’t right in the first place. A real details guy pic.twitter.com/XDmMdmpXDJ — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) June 6, 2020
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This is odd, because I thought it was supposed to be a "fantastic" deal, in which "Brussels had finally admitted defeat", and which had opened a "new chapter in our nation's history". It said so in the Express in January. https://t.co/cwc5VvfRaI https://t.co/R4xOsfopTP — Robert Saunders (@redhistorian) June 7, 2020
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What happened to Boris Johnson's 'oven-ready' Brexit deal that we were told 'was ready to go' when he was seeking re-election? You know – the one that was just like a pie – that could be slammed in an oven…… pic.twitter.com/ifOtodttqQ — Otto English (@Otto_English) June 7, 2020
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There is no way I'm agreeing to a deal as unfair as the fantastic, oven-ready deal that I myself negotiated and got through Parliament. pic.twitter.com/ONZsMsytKp — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) June 6, 2020
6.
Boris Johnson is now very angry about the “unfair Brexit deal” which he negotiated and he signed and he sold to the public as a brilliant deal okaay — end of daves ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) June 7, 2020
7.
If Boris Johnson ever finds out that it was Boris Johnson who struck the deal that Boris Johnson says is unfair then Boris Johnson will be in big trouble with Boris Johnson. pic.twitter.com/THapqJUYeX — Gavin Esler (@gavinesler) June 7, 2020
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“A source close to UK negotiator David Frost said January’s agreement had unfair defects the Government did not have time to fix” Which government voted that deal through, again? Who was PM? Can’t recall. https://t.co/7LiszfaLYS — James Ball (@jamesrbuk) June 6, 2020
9.
1. Johnson signed this “unfair” deal.
2. Johnson presented this deal as a a triumph he had managed to squeeze out of the EU.
3. Johnson described this deal as “oven ready” and it was the entire basis of the “Get Brexit Done” election slogan. /1 pic.twitter.com/unaEutMlSP — John Cotter (@John_Cotter) June 6, 2020
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Breaking: Johnson refusing to put the 'oven-ready‘ deal in the oven. Last year‘s stunning victory appears to be this year‘s intolerable humiliation. Hard to keep up. https://t.co/m1U2XUtmfU — Helene von Bismarck (@HeleneBismarck) June 7, 2020
11.
Johnson told you he got Brexit done. Now he’s telling you he doesn’t like the Brexit he did. We’re being governed by a spoilt child. https://t.co/ljKv18LMNI — BremainInSpain #FBPE (@BremainInSpain) June 7, 2020
What about that oven-ready deal, then?
the oven ready Brexit deal is definitely bin ready now — end of daves ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) June 7, 2020
READ MORE
Fiona Bruce owned Matt Hancock over Boris Johnson’s Brexit deal and it was brutal viewing
Source @Hendopolis, The Telegraph


thepoke--2020-06-10--Minnie Driver shared her favourite scene she’s been in and it’s an absolute treat

The fabulous Minnie Driver has shared her favourite scene from a film she ’ s been in and it ’ @ @ @ @ @ needed today .
And just in case you were wondering … And the even better @ @ @ @ @ it on the iPlayer here .
We ’ re with @ JeremyBowen ( not the @ @ @ @ @ And if you don ’ t already follow Minnie Driver you can find her on @ @ @ @ @ shared this story of what happened when a deaf kid farted in class and it @ @ @

Videos
The fabulous Minnie Driver has shared her favourite scene from a film she’s been in and it’s the absolute treat we needed today.
And just in case you were wondering …
The film is called ‘I Give It A Year’ — Minnie Driver (@driverminnie) June 10, 2020
And the even better news is you can find it on the iPlayer here.
We’re with @BowenBBC (not the President Assad bit).
I’m trying to write a script about Syria and President Assad. instead I am shaking with laughter — Jeremy Bowen (@BowenBBC) June 10, 2020
And if you don’t already follow Minnie Driver you can find her on Twitter here.
READ MORE
Minnie Driver shared this story of what happened when a deaf kid farted in class and it’s glorious
Source @minniedriver


thepoke--2020-06-10--Yoda’s stance on Black Lives Matter is exactly what you’d expect it to be

Master Yoda a wise and learnèd soul he is , and as such , you ’ d expect him to @ @ @ @ @ racial equality .
Someone decided to say it for him with a little bit of @ @ @ @ @ at the Lucasfilm campus in San Francisco .
John Boyega , whose own stirring speech @ @ @ @ @ viral recently , spotted the image and gave it a wider audience via his Instagram @ @ @ @ @ best-known pupil , Luke Skywalker – in disguise as Mark Hamill – shared it to @ @ @ @ @ been liked almost 200,000 times in less than two days .
Here ’ s what @ @ @ @ @ been saying about it .
Jason Standiford , was a little taken aback by the @ @ @ @ @ .
Here ’ s another message to bigots from the mouth of Yoda – “ @ @ @ @ @ have learned.
” John Boyega ’ s impassioned Black Lives Matter speech may be the @ @ @ @ @ today

Pics
Master Yoda a wise and learnèd soul he is, and as such, you’d expect him to have an enlightened attitude to racial equality.
Someone decided to say it for him with a little bit of chalked graffiti on the statue at the Lucasfilm campus in San Francisco.
Via Jason Standiford
John Boyega, whose own stirring speech for Black Lives Matter went viral recently, spotted the image and gave it a wider audience via his Instagram page.
One commenter added “Dismantle white supremacy, you will.”
Yoda’s best-known pupil, Luke Skywalker – in disguise as Mark Hamill – shared it to Twitter, where it has been liked almost 200,000 times in less than two days.
Luminous beings are we… ALL. pic.twitter.com/LHCGYq5FPS — Mark Hamill (@HamillHimself) June 8, 2020
Here’s what a few other people have been saying about it.
THIS RIGHT HERE is the kind of statue I want to see. Since there are no rich philanthropists left any more* GIVE US YODA. Full disclosure: I ganked this from Mark Hamill's insta. *don't even come at me with anything about bill gates. pic.twitter.com/pE8zRfw7Wp — A Gilded Eye (@AGildedEye) June 9, 2020
Master yoda stands for black lives
Be more like Yoda pic.twitter.com/GWvjTno7lC — Ahsoka Tano #BlackLivesMatter (@ParodyAhsoka) June 9, 2020
Jason Standiford, was a little taken aback by the the popularity of his image.
On a walk Sunday in the Presidio & came across Yoda, snapped this pic, shared it a few friends, and then a few days later I see that @HamillHimself somehow tweeted it? How did he get my picure? I'm so confused. Yoda works in mysterious way #yoda #blm pic.twitter.com/uh0uR1NSdy — Jason Standiford (@jasonstandiford) June 9, 2020
Here’s another message to bigots from the mouth of Yoda – “You must unlearn what you have learned.”
READ MORE
John Boyega’s impassioned Black Lives Matter speech may be the most powerful thing you hear today
Source Jason Standiford Image Jason Standiford


thepoke--2020-06-10--There was something very odd about this BBC headline – only 4 replies you need

You ’ ve probably seen by now how Yorkshire Tea rather marvellously dunked on an anti-Black Lives Matter post on @ @ @ @ @ Lots of people wrote about it , including the BBC , but the only reason @ @ @ @ @ the rather odd headline they put on top .
Anti-racism critics ?
Well , it @ @ @ @ @ putting it .
These 4 people had other ideas ( the BBC ’ s tweet @ @ @ @ @ .

Twitter
You’ve probably seen by now how Yorkshire Tea rather marvellously dunked on an anti-Black Lives Matter post on Twitter by doing this.
Lots of people wrote about it, including the BBC, but the only reason we mention it again was the rather odd headline they put on top.
Anti-racism critics? Well, it’s one way of putting it. These 4 people had other ideas (the BBC’s tweet has since been deleted).
There is a short word for ‘anti-racism critics’. — Matt Haig (@matthaig1) June 9, 2020
Honestly even not not racists would have been better than this — James Felton (@JimMFelton) June 9, 2020
https://twitter.com/Coops_tv/status/1270395639738793984?s=20
I see four critics of anti-Nazis have been jailed. — Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) June 9, 2020
Here’s what they ended up with, which has the merit of looking a lot less odd.


thepoke--2020-06-10--Ever wondered what the Harry Potter theme would sound like played on a washing machine? Wonder no mo

Ever wondered what the Harry Potter theme would sound like played on a washing machine? Wonder no more

Music producer and filmmaker , Kurt Schneider , has come up with another highly unusual rendition of a familiar piece @ @ @ @ @ dressed the part .
The scuttle into the cupboard is simply Once again , he @ @ @ @ @ on the dryer .
When @ ainnanism shared the clip on Twitter , it went @ @ @ @ @ just over 140,000 times , at the time of writing .
It ’ s fair @ @ @ @ @ enjoyed the show .
And of course … Now , let ’ s just hope @ @ @ @ @ a red sock in with his whites , A-Ha ’ s ‘ Take On Me @ @ @ @ @ machine has got us all in a spin

Videos
Music producer and filmmaker, Kurt Schneider, has come up with another highly unusual rendition of a familiar piece of music.
He even dressed the part.
The scuttle into the cupboard is simply
via Gfycat
Once again, he was accompanied by @electricjason on the dryer.
When @ainnanism shared the clip on Twitter, it went viral and has been retweeted just over 140,000 times, at the time of writing.
Hes literally the music genius no one compares haha the ending tho pic.twitter.com/5AFFQ43mR1 — (@ainnanism) June 2, 2020
It’s fair to say that people really enjoyed the show.
How bored do you have to be to learn how to do this…BRILLIANT! https://t.co/ONZssiGgRd — midge ure (@midgeure1) June 4, 2020
Best creative endeavour to emerge from lockdown so far. https://t.co/tjsUqpPAiT — Becca Dean (@beccadean) June 3, 2020
THE BOY WHO REMIXES https://t.co/qCQi9gwXBS — Hanon (@igorhanon) June 3, 2020
“But you know, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” ― Harry Potter https://t.co/cTt9iEoMMJ — Michele Fitzgerald (@meeshfitz) June 3, 2020
And of course …
Ten points for Griffendor https://t.co/BnlJek8rIO — Christopher Mcwhite (@ChristopherMcw2) June 9, 2020
Now, let’s just hope he hasn’t left a red sock in with his whites,
READ MORE
A-Ha’s ‘Take On Me’ played on a washing machine has got us all in a spin
Source Kurt Schneider Image Kurt Schneider


thepoke--2020-06-10--Tommy Robinson’s own words used against him (again) in this hilarious sketch

Comedian Munya Chawawa has done what Stephen Yaxley-Lennon – Tommy Robinson to his fans – has failed to do since @ @ @ @ @ the public eye .
He has made one of the EDL founder ’ s rants @ @ @ @ @ very funny .
Munya ’ s edit removes most of the bile from the original @ @ @ @ @ see – and replaces it with fantastically scathing humour , which is why the sketch @ @ @ @ @ times in ten hours .
There have already been hundreds of messages of admiration , @ @ @ @ @ Eyre said what we were thinking .
We ’ ll be watching out for that @ @ @ @ @ follow him for more great content .
Simply 19 funny things that Tommy Robinson looks @

Videos
Comedian Munya Chawawa has done what Stephen Yaxley-Lennon – Tommy Robinson to his fans – has failed to do since he’s been in the public eye.
He has made one of the EDL founder’s rants virtually coherent and very, very funny.
Tommy Robinson’s plans for a race war ruined by train inspector 🚂😂 pic.twitter.com/a7pOVXvh2k — Munya Chawawa (@munyachawawa) June 9, 2020
“I’m very sorry to ruin your race war pre-drinks but you can’t listen to music in here.”
from Burn GIFs via Gfycat
Munya’s edit removes most of the bile from the original – which nobody needs to see – and replaces it with fantastically scathing humour, which is why the sketch has been viewed almost 80,000 times in ten hours.
There have already been hundreds of messages of admiration, like these.
this is too good 😭😂💀 https://t.co/XT8i4Kxh0g — 🐝-List at Capital (@BListAtCapital) June 9, 2020
Singer Ella Eyre said what we were thinking.
PIERS MORGAN 😭😭😭 somebody give this guy a tv show right now https://t.co/k8YRwEtkmG — ella eyre (@EllaEyre) June 9, 2020
We’ll be watching out for that. In the meantime, follow him for more great content.
READ MORE
Simply 19 funny things that Tommy Robinson looks like
Source Munya Chawawa Image
Munya Chawawa


thepoke--2020-06-10--This woman ranting about little kids not having a licence for their toy car is all kinds of baffling

TV writer Yesha Callahan recently shared a clip that had people shaking their heads or , at the very least @ @ @ @ @ couldn ’ t quite believe what they were seeing .
Sports reporter Katherine Terrell imagined @ @ @ @ @ the lady ’ s head .
Author Julie Bindel said calling people ‘ Karen ’ @ @ @ @ @ not the only 5 replies you need but they ’ re a start

Videos
TV writer Yesha Callahan recently shared a clip that had people shaking their heads or, at the very least, scratching them.
This lady is mad that the kids don't have a drivers license pic.twitter.com/QrfOvDAE8l — Yesha (@YeshaCallahan) June 4, 2020
People couldn’t quite believe what they were seeing.
lmao everyone has lost their fucking minds https://t.co/5Wq4yl5HbG — chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) June 4, 2020
Karens are evolving into something powerful and dangerous https://t.co/I5HCDa3yp7 — Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) June 4, 2020
Maybe he has a license she doesn’t know — Katie Mack (@AstroKatie) June 5, 2020
Sports reporter Katherine Terrell imagined the nightmare scenario going through the lady’s head.
I'm imagining that lady picturing this scenario as the child's car careens towards her at the pace of 1MPH pic.twitter.com/8h93UvIS1P — Katherine Terrell (@Kat_Terrell) June 4, 2020
It’s practically Death Race 2000.
via Gfycat
READ MORE
Author Julie Bindel said calling people ‘Karen’ was sexist and classist – not the only 5 replies you need but they’re a start
Source Yesha Image Yesha


thepoke--2020-06-10--Peter Shilton’s hot take on the statue debate left a bit of an open goal – the only 5 shots on targe

Peter Shilton’s hot take on the statue debate left a bit of an open goal – the only 5 shots on target you need to read

Former England goalkeeper , Peter Shilton , strayed out of the box on Tuesday evening when he weighed in on @ @ @ @ @ familiar-sounding piece of advice .
His remarks saw him trending on Twitter overnight , as @ @ @ @ @ opinion , before hoofing it to row z .
Mark Hebden , perhaps wisely , @ @ @ @ @ see what the trending topic was about , but had a guess at what it @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s all over .
It is now .
Peter Shilton tweeted a bizarre @ @ @ @ @ the replies were a delight

Twitter
Former England goalkeeper, Peter Shilton, strayed out of the box on Tuesday evening when he weighed in on the statue debate with this familiar-sounding piece of advice.
All you people who are not happy with a government democratically voted by the people with 80 seat majority (and our great country )please go and live somewhere run by dictators (not elected )and see where your actions (like pulling down statues) gets you!! — Peter Shilton (@Peter_Shilton) June 9, 2020
His remarks saw him trending on Twitter overnight, as people weighed and measured his opinion, before hoofing it to row z.
1.
Oh goalie, when we roomed together for all those years, I always told you to take your gloves off before you tweet. 😉 https://t.co/COpV1LrtER — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 9, 2020
2.
Democracy doesn't end after each election @Peter_Shilton in the way that England championship dreams ended when you picked the ball out of your net https://t.co/no9QPQB48b — Will Black (@WillBlackWriter) June 9, 2020
3.
Yeah, they should follow the example of all those people who don’t like Sadiq Khan. Y’know, how they just quietly move out of London without making a fuss. https://t.co/U4HoBJvypK — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) June 9, 2020
4.
Dear @peter_shilton,
If you are not happy with people criticising our country's government – even one with an 80 seat majority – please go and live somewhere run by dictators, where no one is allowed to protest or criticise the leaders.
See where that gets you.
Regards,
Tom https://t.co/Ko1BkChRJe — Tom Pride (@ThomasPride) June 9, 2020
5.
If only you could have made this sort of leap against Maradona. https://t.co/Mq57TyswcM — Enough Of That Now (@AndyGilder) June 9, 2020
Mark Hebden, perhaps wisely, didn’t check to see what the trending topic was about, but had a guess at what it might be.
Don't know why Peter Shilton is trending, but I'm willing to lay money on it being something ill-judged and probably racist. — Mark Hebden (@unionlib) June 9, 2020
They think it’s all over. It is now.
READ MORE
Peter Shilton tweeted a bizarre criticism of Jeremy Corbyn and the replies were a delight
Source Peter Shilton Image Good Morning Britain


thepoke--2020-06-09--‘John Oliver has always done a great job but this is spectacular’

This 68-second clip of John Oliver ’ s take on what is happening in the US right now has gone @ @ @ @ @ was only a small part of what Oliver had to say , much of which @ @ @ @ @ “ If you ’ re not directly impacted by it , it is tempting to @ @ @ @ @ feel better about the world .
To look at some cops kneeling and think , @ @ @ @ @ we just need more of that.
’ But we need so much more than that @ @ @ @ @ entrenched system in which the roots of white supremacy run deep , and it is @ @ @ @ @ a fucking shovel .
To do anything less would be absolutely unforgivable.
” And here @ @ @ @ @ people were saying about it .
And there ’ s lots more Last Week Tonight @ @ @ @ @ here .

Videos
This 68-second clip of John Oliver’s take on what is happening in the US right now has gone viral on Twitter.
John Oliver has always done a great job but this is spectacular pic.twitter.com/ZMZESevJxq — Edgar Ozymandias (@Keepitez23) June 8, 2020
It was only a small part of what Oliver had to say in the latest episode of his HBO show, Last Week Tonight with John Oliver, much of which you can read here.
“If you’re not directly impacted by it, it is tempting to look for a reason to feel better about the world. To look at some cops kneeling and think, ‘Oh, well, we just need more of that.’ But we need so much more than that because ours is a firmly entrenched system in which the roots of white supremacy run deep, and it is critical that we all grab a fucking shovel. To do anything less would be absolutely unforgivable.”
And here were just a few things people were saying about it.
well done, John Oliver! you never disappoint — Adam⁷ (@BTSBEINGBTSYT) June 9, 2020
His show is great, but this week was exceptional. That amazing lady at the end tho’…. wow just wow. — Mel 🇬🇸🏴 (@Melxray) June 8, 2020
it feels undercutting to call it a speech, but what this woman said, at the end of john oliver last week tonight, put tears in my eyes. so fucking powerful. watch it. pic.twitter.com/1LrtfdkUAb — tweety (@weirdwithwords) June 8, 2020
And there’s lots more Last Week Tonight with John Oliver on YouTube here.
Source Twitter @Keepitez23


thepoke--2020-06-09--People love this story of the Rik Mayall line chosen by Ben Elton for his favourite piece of verse

It ’ s six years since the death of Rik Mayall and as ever on this day every year , @ @ @ @ @ of stories and love for the great man .
And this story in particular drew @ @ @ @ @ , shared by @ SaifulChemistry who said this .
‘ On this day 2014 , @ @ @ @ @ This reminds me of a very touching story about Rik from Ben Elton of when @ @ @ @ @ favourite piece of verse for a poetry anthology ‘ Lifelines ’ .
Worth a read @ @ @ @ @ few of the things people were saying about it today .
3 times Rik Mayall @ @ @ @ @ fan mail by anyone ever ‘ Why you should never randomly vox pop Rik Mayall @

Popular
It’s almost eight years since the death of Rik Mayall and as ever on this day every year, Twitter is full of lots of stories and love for the great man.
And this story in particular drew lots of attention this year, shared by
@SaifulChemistry who said this.
‘On this day 2014, #RikMayall sadly died. This reminds me of a very touching story about Rik from Ben Elton of when he was asked for his favourite piece of verse for a poetry anthology ‘Lifelines’. Worth a read …’
And just a few of the things people were saying about it today.
Floored. Crying and smiling. A beautiful, wonderful man. https://t.co/NU5rTV2yrv — JACK PIERCE (@TheJackPierce) June 9, 2020
I didn't expect to start the morning in tears. Everything about Rik Mayall was wonderful. https://t.co/vAZTMhPsCu — Bob Fischer (@Bob_Fischer) June 9, 2020
How perfectly exquisite. The world lost a truly unique human being. — MARCENBY (@marcenby) June 9, 2020
READ MORE
3 times Rik Mayall sent the best replies to fan mail by anyone ever
‘Why you should never randomly vox pop Rik Mayall’
Source Twitter @SaifulChemistry


thepoke--2020-06-09--What’s going on with the coronavirus? Our 11 favourite tweets

If you feel like you ’ re picking up mixed messages from the government , don ’ t worry – @ @ @ @ @ , it ’ s them .
Over on Twitter , people have been pondering what @ @ @ @ @ anything , and we ’ ve gathered our favourites .
2 .
Parents are picking @ @ @ @ @ places .
3 .
The government is pulling out all the stops – the hipster @ @ @ @ @ .
4 .
We could have prevented the mayhem .
5 .
We baked our @ @ @ @ @ our own hair .
What ’ s next ?
6 .
Doctors are discovering new @ @ @ @ @ 9 .
And people have had enough .
10 .
The new normal makes us @ @ @ @ @ 11 .
All those years learning to queue have paid off for anyone who really @ @ @ @ @ things need no words .
Our top ten funny takes on coping with the coronavirus @

Twitter
If you feel like you’re picking up mixed messages from the government, don’t worry – it’s not you, it’s them.
Over on Twitter, people have been pondering what it all means, if anything, and we’ve gathered our favourites.
1. It’s not just medical – it’s political.
TORY PARTY WITH A 12-POINT LEAD OVER LABOUR: stay at home, save lives TORY PARTY WITH A 4-POINT LEAD OVER LABOUR: everything's fine, take nana to the races — Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) May 31, 2020
2. Parents are picking up tips in the oddest places.
Love that bit in Superman the Movie where Marlon Brando has to educate Kal-El, so just shows him videos for years like a shit supply teacher. #homeschooling — Richard Blandford (@rblandford) June 7, 2020
3. The government is pulling out all the stops – the hipster design stops, that is.
Who chose this typeface, The Monkees? https://t.co/T8ZPe7lWmN — Ben Kay (@BenKayWriter) June 5, 2020
4. We could have prevented the mayhem.
This is all Mother Nature’s punishment for not copying and pasting your Facebook friend’s status to see who actually reads it — Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳🌈 (@craiguito) June 7, 2020
5. We baked our own bread, we cut our own hair. What’s next?
After the British Dental Association warns of severe disruption due to coronavirus, patients are advised to brace themselves. — Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) June 5, 2020
6. Doctors are discovering new symptoms all the time.
Is ennui a symptom of COVID? Can I have two weeks off? — Dave Jones 🏴🏳🌈 (@WelshGasDoc) June 6, 2020
7. We’re sinking to new depths.
I've started watching Anaconda. It's probably time I went back to work. — Tiahowler Jon Von Biltawülf (@Biltawulf) June 8, 2020
8. It’s been a long lockdown, but it’s felt a lot longer …
To give you a clue just how long lockdown has been, Jack Wilshere is now fit to play again — James Rochester (@jamesrochestr) June 8, 2020
9. And people have had enough.
Twitter start of lockdown Vs Twitter now pic.twitter.com/tAFkXHjpnY — James Gill (@JamesGillComedy) June 7, 2020
10. The new normal makes us miss the old special.
Honestly I’m slowly realising this “Covidland” theme park is kinda lame pic.twitter.com/IWIQPqA40c — Summer Ray (@SummerRay) June 7, 2020
11. All those years learning to queue have paid off for anyone who really wants a FARTYG.
R rate in the North West goes over 1 but on the plus side, thousands of people have a new Billy Bookcase and two weeks supply of Swedish meatballs — Paul_Ed (@eddo75) June 5, 2020
Some things need no words.
READ MORE
Our top ten funny takes on coping with the coronavirus crisis
Image Superman (1978)


thepoke--2020-06-09--The health minister’s reverse ferret after saying she’d stick it on the scientists is a supremely aw

The health minister’s reverse ferret after saying she’d stick it on the scientists is a supremely awkward moment

Health minister Helen Whately hasn ’ t been on Good Morning Britain for a while now after this happened with @ @ @ @ @ she won ’ t be too keen on Sky News either after this supremely awkward @ @ @ @ @ this morning .
Just a minister saying the government could pin the blame on scientific @ @ @ @ @ the coronavirus in care homes before executing the most awkward of reverse ferrets .
Here @ @ @ @ @ the things people were saying about it today .
And naturally this chap spotted it @ @ @ @ @ go back on GMB to explain exactly what happened ?
This lawyer ’ s takedown @ @ @ @ @ is a supremely satisfying watch

News
Health minister Helen Whately hasn’t been on Good Morning Britain for a while now after this happened with Piers Morgan.
And maybe she won’t be too keen on Sky News either after this supremely awkward moment talking to Kay Burley this morning.
Me: "You can't stick this on the scientists." Health Minister @Helen_Whately: "Well I can." The minister quickly backtracks after initially blaming scientists for mistakes made in managing #Coronavirus in care homes. MR#KayBurley pic.twitter.com/lPOQmCFRM7 — Kay Burley (@KayBurley) June 9, 2020
Just a minister saying the government could pin the blame on scientific advisers for their handling of the coronavirus in care homes before executing the most awkward of reverse ferrets.
Rather awkward exchange between @KayBurley and @Helen_Whately on care home deaths: KB: You can't stick this on the scientists.
HW: Well I can because… Well I'm not…
KB: You can stick it on the scientists?
HW: No no no. That's not what I meant to say.
KB: You just said that. — Joe Pike (@joepike) June 9, 2020
Here were just a few of the things people were saying about it today.
Biggest car crash of a minister for a long time, gets it wrong in almost every interview. — Jonny Pilcher (@JonnyPilcher) June 9, 2020
Impending boycot of Burley coming up too then? Can’t have the government being asked difficult questions after all. — Geoff Wilton (@geoffwilton2) June 9, 2020
Apart from being a bit useless, it's not a great look for Helen Whately to do interviews when she's on the toilet https://t.co/UlrZBytjBM — John Crace (@JohnJCrace) June 9, 2020
Scientists of the country if you didn’t know already:
Get Ready To Be A Scapegoat. — RichardCarr (@richardSuncarr) June 9, 2020
Whately is a human shield for the tories. I can’t fathom how somebody like this is a minister. Sad times — Lee (@flotorant) June 9, 2020
https://twitter.com/rodjgrimmer/status/1270254822005125121?s=20
"Don't mention we're going to stick it on the scientists. I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it" pic.twitter.com/tULGBtxtkP — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) June 9, 2020
And naturally this chap spotted it.
https://twitter.com/piersmorgan/status/1270256314472677377?s=20
Maybe the minister could go back on GMB to explain exactly what happened?
READ MORE
This lawyer’s takedown of Nigel Farage on GMB is a supremely satisfying watch
Source @KayBurley


thepoke--2020-06-09--This lawyer’s takedown of Nigel Farage on GMB is a supremely satisfying watch

A very satisfying moment on Good Morning Britain today when Nigel Farage was banging on about how awful it was @ @ @ @ @ had toppled the statue of a slave trader in Bristol .
We ’ re not @ @ @ @ @ to say , however , but what lawyer and activist Dr Shola Mos-Shogbamimu had to @ @ @ @ @ the takedown of the week stakes , it ’ s going to be hard to @ @ @ @ @ Dr Shola Mos-Shogbamimu on Twitter , along with her fellow guest on GMB today , @ @ @ @ @ Farage went on about slave trader Edward Colston ’ s ‘ philanthropy ’ and suffered @ @ @

Videos
A very satisfying moment on Good Morning Britain today when Nigel Farage was banging on about how awful it was that Black Lives Matters protestors had toppled the statue of a slave trader in Bristol.
We’re not here for what he had to say, however, but what lawyer and activist Dr Shola Mos-Shogbamimu had to say in response.
In the takedown of the week stakes, it’s going to be hard to beat.
Evergreen.
Why allow that prick on TV to talk about racism? Is it basically saying "we are booking Britain's most famous actual racist for balance" ? — Robin Turner (@robinturner) June 9, 2020
“I understand that you are struggling to be relevant” 😂👏🏻 pic.twitter.com/gmQdZShMJk — Pepe Silvia (@bartrumus1986) June 9, 2020
And here is Dr Shola Mos-Shogbamimu on Twitter, along with her fellow guest on GMB today, Professor Kate Williams.
"The only thing Nigel Farage is an expert on is his backside because every word out of his mouth stinks" I don't hold back as this #WhiteSupremacist spews rubbish .@KateWilliamsme & I respond to his utter lie that #BlackLivesMatter is Far Left/Marxist to defund Police on #GMB pic.twitter.com/vJr8zVU6kE — Dr Shola Mos-Shogbamimu (@SholaMos1) June 9, 2020
it is a disgraceful lie and it is spreading dangerous hate. This is inciting race hatred. — Prof Kate Williams (@KateWilliamsme) June 9, 2020
READ MORE
Nigel Farage went on about slave trader Edward Colston’s ‘philanthropy’ and suffered the perfect comeback
Source @SholaMos1 @eddychemical


thepoke--2020-06-09--Dermot Murnaghan’s face was a picture after this catastrophic Prince Andrew news gaffe

2020 has been a little too generous to the news cycle recently , and a couple of prominent stories collided @ @ @ @ @ Sky News broadcast .
There ’ s something about the crack in Dermot Murnaghan ’ @ @ @ @ @ knows this is going to be bad , but even that couldn ’ t match @ @ @ @ @ his face as the camera returned to him .
Some poor Sky employee is going @ @ @ @ @ – if they choose to cooperate with requests to be questioned about the incident .
@ @ @ @ @ Twitter had to say about the cock-up .
Needless to say , the Queen ’ @ @ @ @ @ t actually under suspicion .
And anyway … The Sun once again prove they are @ @ @ @ @ reporting death of Prince Philip

Videos
2020 has been a little too generous to the news cycle recently, and a couple of prominent stories collided during the introduction to this Sky News broadcast.
Warning: the news item contains disturbing information.
Horrific VT cockup from Sky News as they accidentally run a clip of Prince Andrew over a headline about the suspect in the Madeleine McCann case pic.twitter.com/zszu2wHDuX — David Lewis (@davidclewis) June 8, 2020
There’s something about the crack in Dermot Murnaghan’s voice that suggests he knows this is going to be bad, but even that couldn’t match up to the look on his face as the camera returned to him.
Some poor Sky employee is going to be in hot water – if they choose to cooperate with requests to be questioned about the incident.
Here are a few things Twitter had to say about the cock-up.
.@SkyNews has just apologised for mistakenly showing a picture of Prince Andrew instead of the German suspect in an item about the Madeleine McCann case.
Ooops. — Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) June 8, 2020
That face! https://t.co/15JhwmNa1g pic.twitter.com/4YOKRS835L — N O R M S K I (@_Normski) June 9, 2020
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is much better than when they accidentally said Kirk Douglas was the father of Michael Jackson. — Red Sky At Night (@redskyatnight) June 8, 2020
Dermot Murnaghan’s face afterwards is, as they say, a picture. — David Lewis (@davidclewis) June 8, 2020
Needless to say, the Queen’s third child isn’t actually under suspicion. And anyway …
He was getting pizza that night too https://t.co/KnY3n2Wq6S — Philip Matthews (@secondzeit) June 8, 2020
READ MORE
The Sun once again prove they are crap at journalism by wrongly reporting death of Prince Philip
Source David Lewis Image David Lewis


thepoke--2020-06-09--Nigel Farage went on about slave trader Edward Colston’s ‘philanthropy’ and suffered the perfect com

Nigel Farage went on about slave trader Edward Colston’s ‘philanthropy’ and suffered the perfect comeback

Here ’ s eight words you don ’ t want to read every morning – Nigel Farage was on Good @ @ @ @ @ stick with us .
He was there to say how awful it was what happened @ @ @ @ @ trader Edward Colston in Bristol , obviously , and quite the watch it was too @ @ @ @ @ professor Kate Williams picked up on his point about Colston ’ s ‘ philanthropy ’ @ @ @ @ @ .
She fixed it for him .
A brilliant thread for anyone in two minds @ @ @ @ @

Videos
Here’s eight words you don’t want to read every morning – Nigel Farage was on Good Morning Britain today – but stick with us.
He was there to say how awful it was what happened to the statue of slave trader Edward Colston in Bristol, obviously, and quite the watch it was too.
If Farage proffered arguments like this in one of my kids' history lessons he'd be laughed out of the classroom. pic.twitter.com/FZyL3fxX9B — Otto English (@Otto_English) June 9, 2020
Author and historian, professor Kate Williams picked up on his point about Colston’s ‘philanthropy’ and had the perfect response.
Nigel Farage – Slave trader, Edward Colston, was a big philanthropist.. Prof Kate Williams – Jimmy Savile was a philanthropist. 💥#GMB pic.twitter.com/K2RGtxBV0y — Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 (@Haggis_UK) June 9, 2020
She fixed it for him.
Also, this.
Is that the guy who repeatedly implied people would take to the streets if he didn’t get the Brexit deal that he personally wanted? https://t.co/8fJXe0Guxh — Richard K Herring (@Herring1967) June 9, 2020
READ MORE
A brilliant thread for anyone in two minds about the Bristol statue toppling
Source @Otto_English @Haggis_UK


thepoke--2020-06-11--We love how these 13 apps might have looked back in the 80s

Argentinian graphic designer , Luli Kibudi , has created a collection of images – Once Appin A Time – showing @ @ @ @ @ apps – 80s style .
It ’ s a hipster ’ s dream come true @ @ @ @ @ .
See for yourself .
We notice she hasn ’ t made one for Twitter @ @ @ @ @ s hard to depict angry randomers barging into other people ’ s conversations to yell @ @ @ @ @ !
” If Tinder existed in the 1980s

Pics
Argentinian graphic designer, Luli Kibudi, has created a collection of images – Once Appin A Time – showing the equivalents of our favourite apps – 80s style.
It’s a hipster’s dream come true and we love the nostalgia.
See for yourself.
1. Facebook
2. Pinterest
3. YouTube
4. WhatsApp
5. Netflix
6. GMail
7. LinkedIn
8. iCloud
9. Spotify
10. Microsoft Word
11. Wikipedia
12. Slack
13. Domestika
We notice she hasn’t made one for Twitter – presumably because it’s hard to depict angry randomers barging into other people’s conversations to yell “DIDN’T HAPPEN!”
READ MORE
If Tinder existed in the 1980s
Source Luli Kibudi H/T Bored Panda Image Luli Kibudi


thepoke--2020-06-11--Elmo and his dad show the best way to talk to little kids about racism

If you ’ ve found the Black Lives Matter protests and the events that caused them to happen stressful , @ @ @ @ @ all seem to children .
In conjunction with CNN , Sesame Street held a “ @ @ @ @ @ address to the public featuring politicians and experts – on racism , to help parents @ @ @ @ @ to explain the issues and events to children .
Atlanta ’ s Mayor , Keisha @ @ @ @ @ CNN journalists and Big Bird – took questions and gave child-friendly advice on how to @ @ @ @ @ featured Elmo and his dad , Louie , who had a very moving chat about @ @ @ @ @ they pulled this off so brilliantly is that they ’ re old hands at anti-racism @ @ @ @ @ You can watch the whole thing here if you want to .
This outtake from @ @ @ @ @ is as wholesome as you ’ d expect

Pics
If you’ve found the Black Lives Matter protests and the events that caused them to happen stressful, imagine how worrying it must all seem to children.
In conjunction with CNN, Sesame Street held a “town hall” – an address to the public featuring politicians and experts – on racism, to help parents and carers find a way to explain the issues and events to children.
Atlanta’s Mayor, Keisha Lance Bottoms – alongside two CNN journalists and Big Bird – took questions and gave child-friendly advice on how to combat racism.
It also featured Elmo and his dad, Louie, who had a very moving chat about the protests.
“Not all streets are like Sesame Street. … What we are seeing is people saying 'enough is enough.' They want to end racism.”@Elmo’s dad Louie explains why people are protesting across the US. https://t.co/icV04F4FNW #CNNSesameStreet pic.twitter.com/1efrMAzZ8V — CNN (@CNN) June 6, 2020
“Not all streets are like Sesame Street.”
People found the clip helpful and moving.
Parents: I dunno, it might be too early to talk about racism with my kid… Sesame Street: https://t.co/dwUQfnVkdS — sending love 💌🐇 looking for work (@jazuren) June 6, 2020
All showrunners: bring up this clip every time an exec tells you you can't delve into deeper topics on children's television. If furry red puppets can talk about these issues, so can your show. It's not that execs don't think kids can handle it, it's that execs can't handle it. https://t.co/0NRPveqxET — Oweeeeendennis (@OweeeeenDennis) June 7, 2020
Damn, this hit too hard. I'm undone. https://t.co/i6QackYKvq — Kyle J. Howard (@KyleJamesHoward) June 6, 2020
The reason they pulled this off so brilliantly is that they’re old hands at anti-racism down on Sesame Street.
To everyone saying/thinking this was "inappropriate" and "not their place", this is already a message they've endorsed in S.S. itself. This clip is from the early 90s, 25+ years ago. Y'all fake, don't even try to dictate to them when you can't even recall the common lore lmao https://t.co/boB4c0WF7K pic.twitter.com/RBnQa5dJqx — Delhi D i s t a n c i n g (@DelhiWacky) June 6, 2020
You can watch the whole thing here if you want to.
READ MORE
This outtake from Sesame Street proves that Elmo is as wholesome as you’d expect
Source CNN Image CNN


thepoke--2020-06-11--Spot the difference between Barack Obama’s and Donald Trump’s White House intern photos

Time and again , Donald Trump has been compared to Barack Obama and come off badly .
These two group @ @ @ @ @ chosen during the two men ’ s administrations highlight yet another area in which Trump @ @ @ @ @ any of us really need to find the presidents in those photos to know which @ @ @ @ @ image was from the beginning of 2018 , here ’ s the most recent crop @ @ @ @ @ isn ’ t any more diverse .
Of course , the image drew another comparison @ @ @ @ @ Trump lost again .
Two photos that sum up the difference between Trump and Obama

Pics
Time and again, Donald Trump has been compared to Barack Obama and come off badly.
There’s their capability for empathy.
Both these pictures were taken after national tragedies. Guess which president is a sociopath just posing and which one is capable of genuine empathy. pic.twitter.com/F7Qm7Y0l5H — Tuxedo Mask (@TheLoveBel0w) February 17, 2018
Their honesty.
After we published a list of Trump's lies this summer, some of his supporters asked us to compare Trump to other presidents. We've done so and just published the results: https://t.co/ivdTB7a7rN pic.twitter.com/SA0STVoXgv — David Leonhardt (@DLeonhardt) December 14, 2017
Their ability to remain statesmanlike.
We mashed up @BarackObama’s Bin Laden speech with @RealDonaldTrump’s al-Baghdadi speech, and the results are amazing pic.twitter.com/Z8yfxSYWLd — Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) October 29, 2019
These two group photos of White House interns chosen during the two men’s administrations highlight yet another area in which Trump is sadly lacking.
A tale of two Presidential intern pics. pic.twitter.com/I2jvqmZ9eE — Fernand R. Amandi (@AmandiOnAir) June 9, 2020
Did any of us really need to find the presidents in those photos to know which was which?
Although that image was from the beginning of 2018, here’s the most recent crop of recruits – and it isn’t any more diverse.
Via
Here’s how Twitter reacted.
Trump’s look like they’re about to start singing “So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night…” before slowly traipsing off one by one https://t.co/YYorToxMhL — Ben Machell (@ben_machell) June 10, 2020
Offered for your perusal…file under "picture worth a thousand words"… https://t.co/jWi2N3tmux — Jeff Greenfield (@greenfield64) June 9, 2020
And they say don't believe your lying eyes. https://t.co/I7Dltavw1p — Carl Lewis (@Carl_Lewis) June 9, 2020
Another shocking-but-not-surprising relic of this era. https://t.co/a32HnIb0tA — Michael Grunwald (@MikeGrunwald) June 9, 2020
Of course, the image drew another comparison between the two eras …and Trump lost again.
A Tale of Two Presidents. pic.twitter.com/vZCGQ5yF0s — Jamie Schler (@lifesafeast) June 9, 2020
READ MORE
Two photos that sum up the difference between Trump and Obama
Source Fernand R. Amandi Image Fernand R. Amandi


thepoke--2020-06-11--English households can set up support bubbles with each other – 15 very funny reactions

Well , he had to get out of his pyjamas anyway , to do PMQs , so he probably decided @ @ @ @ @ it .
Zoos and safari parks can open , but not reptile houses because f_ck @ @ @ @ @ The PM isn ’ t prepared to admit to a specific regret about the handling @ @ @ @ @ Chris Whitty saying he regretted not getting testing underway sooner .
Single people can choose @ @ @ @ @ to form a support bubble – even to the extent that they can stay in @ @ @ @ @ overnight .
*reptile houses are too indoorsy – unless you ’ re forming a support @ @ @ @ @ People had a few things to say about the support bubble idea , and we @ @ @ @ @ ones .

News
Wednesday’s coronavirus briefing was, unusually, led by Boris Johnson.
Well, he had to get out of his pyjamas anyway, to do PMQs, so he probably decided to make a day of it.
We learnt a few things:
Zoos and safari parks can open, but not reptile houses because f_ck those slithery legless b_stards*. The PM isn’t prepared to admit to a specific regret about the handling of the pandemic, despite Chris Whitty saying he regretted not getting testing underway sooner. Single people can choose one other household with which to form a support bubble – even to the extent that they can stay in one another’s homes overnight. *reptile houses are too indoorsy – unless you’re forming a support bubble with a rock python
People had a few things to say about the support bubble idea, and we really enjoyed these very funny ones.
1.
Very complicated, this 'support bubble' business. What happened to trusting everything to 'British common sense'? — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) June 10, 2020
2.
3.
4.
So as more and more countries return to near normality, we can have a ‘support bubble.’ As a West Ham fan might sign of @BorisJohnson ‘he’s forever blowing bullshit’ — ALASTAIR CAMPBELL (@campbellclaret) June 10, 2020
5.
Hi Boris I have chosen my support bubble and I would like it to be New Zealand. — Matt Haig (@matthaig1) June 10, 2020
6.
what idiot called them condoms and not bubble wrap — Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) June 10, 2020
7.
thousands of men are currently changing their tinder bios to “let me be your support bubble” https://t.co/ukagSU4fVG — Abby Tomlinson (@twcuddleston) June 10, 2020
8.


thepoke--2020-06-10--Customer complaint of the week

Customer complaint of the week

We have to confess we hadn ’ t come across Depop before but by all accounts its a fashion marketplace @ @ @ @ @ and sell stuff .
And @ depopdrama over on Twitter shares collects some of the @ @ @ @ @ furious exchanges that result .
Like this customer complaint which is very funny unless y7ou @ @ @ @ @ who bought them obviously .
And here they are .
We thought that was a @ @ @ @ @ the lens first off .
But no , it ’ s just the kitchen roll @

Weird World
We have to confess we hadn’t come across Depop before but by all accounts it’s a fashion marketplace app where you can buy and sell stuff.
And @depopdrama over on Twitter shares collects some of the weirdest and funniest and most furious exchanges that result.
Like this customer complaint which is very funny unless you’re the poor soul who bought them, obviously.
And here they are.
We thought that was a reflection of a cloud in the lens first off. But no, it’s just kitchen roll.
I don’t know if i should be mad or impressed for attempting that ballsy scam — Eric Burger (@CapBlondebeard) June 9, 2020
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*DEEP INTAKE OF BREATH* HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA — Ricky Creek (@CreekRicky) June 10, 2020
Follow @depopdrama over on Twitter here.
Source @depopdrama H/T @stateofselling


thepoke--2020-06-10--‘Michael Jackson spotted in Belfast today!’

We ’ re grateful to comedian @ Sean_Hegarty for this rather marvellous spot in a TV news report .
Exactly @ @ @ @ @ .
And you can follow Sean on Twitter here .
There ’ s a very @ @ @ @ @ in this news report was unavailable for comment

Videos
We’re grateful to comedian @Sean_Hegarty for this rather marvellous spot in a TV news report.
Michael Jackson spotted in Belfast today!! 😱😱 pic.twitter.com/aTdzZon90c — Sean Hegarty (@Sean_Hegarty) June 8, 2020
Exactly the content we needed today.
This is the twitter i signed up too 😂😂 — Tom wright (@Tomwrig03881788) June 8, 2020
She's a smooth criminal. — Becca Mason (@RebeccaSHMason) June 10, 2020
And you can follow Sean on Twitter here.
READ MORE
There’s a very good reason why the man in this news report was unavailable for comment
Source Twitter @Sean_Hegarty


thepoke--2020-06-10--A Tory MP took issue with Irvine Welsh over slaver statues and it didn’t end well

It started when Conservative MP Simon Clarke suggested that taking down statues , of people like slave traders , presumably @ @ @ @ @ enlightenment ’ .
And he didn ’ t leave it there .
Which is when @ @ @ @ @ author Irvine Welsh who responded with typical brio .
Clarke , who is – Google @ @ @ @ @ for Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland , thought he ’ d respond .
And you @ @ @ @ @ been better if he hadn ’ t .
These people certainly did .
Here ’ @ @ @ @ @ .
Simply 18 times Irvine Welsh was brilliant ( and brilliantly NSFW ) on Twitter

Twitter
It started when Conservative MP Simon Clarke suggested that taking down statues, of people like slave traders, presumably, ‘does not bring enlightenment’.
Our history is complex, as is inevitably the case for any nation state of at least 1,200 years. Re-writing parts of that history, or seeking to erase them because they are painful, or trying to impose today’s morality on people from a different era, does not bring enlightenment. — Simon Clarke MP (@SimonClarkeMP) June 9, 2020
And he didn’t leave it there.
Rather, it represents an utterly ahistorical approach to the past, and all the lessons we can and should learn from it. There are certainly legitimate debates about what belongs in the public square and what in a museum, but these should be measured and democratic. — Simon Clarke MP (@SimonClarkeMP) June 9, 2020
Which is when it was spotted by Trainspotting author Irvine Welsh who responded with typical brio.
Fuck off you twat. Should Germany have kept all the Nazi shit after WW2? They would have still been debating it now had obstructionists like you and Dundas won the day. Why should people put up with slaver trash? #TearThatShitDown https://t.co/ukLly3A1AE — Irvine Welsh (@IrvineWelsh) June 9, 2020
Clarke, who is – Google, Google – Tory MP for Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland, thought he’d respond (he’s since deleted it but fortunately @StaffsVegan took a screenshot).
(via)
And it’s not the shutdown he thought it was, it really isn’t.
1. Auschwitz is in Poland. 2. Auschwitz is a memorial to the victims, not a statue of Hitler. 3. In Berlin, the bunker where Hitler hid out has been turned into a barely noticeable car park because they didn't want it to become a shrine to him.
We shouldn't be glorifying slavers https://t.co/yTUhYDfxUp — Rhiannon Jones (@RhiannonEJones) June 9, 2020
Yes Auschwitz. Not statues of Hitler. 🤦🏻♀ A harrowing and powerful museum telling the stories of victims. Not a bronze statue celebrating him as a local hero. — Anna Turley (@annaturley) June 9, 2020
This is rather awkward – a Conservative member of parliament doesn't know what country #Auschwitz is in and think Germany insisted on keeping it as some form of self- therapy https://t.co/bWt6JoKcJC — Will Black (@WillBlackWriter) June 9, 2020
Hi Simon, Auschwitz isn't in Germany any more, all that got sorted. https://t.co/2PqCekQMz4 — Mark ne-Francois-pas MP (@MarkFrancois12) June 9, 2020
Here’s what Welsh said later.
Well I will draw my personal line under someone who organizes and profits from the violent abduction, transportation, imprisonment and rape of other human beings. So is that a fair starting point for the so called debate that is to be had? When do we begin this ‘debate?’ https://t.co/WM1ML2KDis — Irvine Welsh (@IrvineWelsh) June 9, 2020
To conclude …
And there I was thinking Conservatives were against being publicly owned — Rib Bourbon (@puns_n_roses) June 9, 2020
READ MORE
Simply 18 times Irvine Welsh was brilliant (and brilliantly NSFW) on Twitter
Source Images screengrabs BBC


thepoke--2020-06-10--A former ‘Miss Hitler’ contestant was jailed and the WTF factor is off the scale – the 11 funniest r

A former ‘Miss Hitler’ contestant was jailed and the WTF factor is off the scale – the 11 funniest reactions

A former Miss Hitler contestant has been jailed for membership of a right-wing terrorist group , along with three other @ @ @ @ @ a particularly hard time processing that first part .
Without detracting at all from the @ @ @ @ @ of Nazis in the 21st century – Miss Hitler what the what now ?
Would @ @ @ @ @ peace ” mean automatic disqualification ?
Is there a swimwear round or have they swapped @ @ @ @ @ toothbrush moustaches compulsory or just preferable ?
We may never know , but we can @ @ @ @ @ Perhaps strangest of all is that the news seemed somehow to fit in with everything @ @ @ @ @ teacher ’ s takedown of the guy who said ‘ Nazis were socialists ’ is @ @ @ @ @ genre

Twitter
A former Miss Hitler contestant has been jailed for membership of a right-wing terrorist group, along with three other neo-Nazis and people are having a particularly hard time processing that first part.
#Breaking Former Miss Hitler beauty pageant entrant Alice Cutter and her ex-partner Mark Jones have been jailed at Birmingham Crown Court for three years and five-and-a-half years respectively for being members of the far-right terrorist group National Action — PA Media (@PA) June 9, 2020
Without detracting at all from the terrible knowledge of the existence of Nazis in the 21st century – Miss Hitler what the what now?
So many questions:
Would saying they wanted “world peace” mean automatic disqualification? Is there a swimwear round or have they swapped it for lederhosen? Are toothbrush moustaches compulsory or just preferable?
We may never know, but we can still enjoy these reactions.
1.
I’m beginning to lose faith in the Miss Hitler contestant selection process https://t.co/j9p4fzLxnH — James Felton (@JimMFelton) June 9, 2020
2.
What a PR embarrassment for the Miss Hitler pageant. Was going so well. https://t.co/XNKcE8GXEZ — Matt Haig (@matthaig1) June 9, 2020
3.
4.
another setback for the Miss Hitler Beauty Pageant https://t.co/AfpH1MAbc6 — Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) June 9, 2020
5.
What a world it is when you can’t even trust Miss Hitler not to be a fascist — Grace Petrie (@gracepetrie) June 9, 2020
6.
Bit weird. I would've thought for Miss Hitler, the answer, "Being a member of the far-right terrorist group National Action" would've just been equivalent to what for Miss World, following the question "Any hobbies or interests?" was "I like animals and knitting." https://t.co/s98RMeRfGA — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) June 9, 2020
7.
what gave them away?? https://t.co/dxUc2B9hg6 — Mark Di Stefano (@MarkDiStef) June 9, 2020
8.
it's always the ones you least suspect https://t.co/3dCscWLwWH — Patrick (@PrayForPatrick) June 9, 2020
9.
Just saw “Miss Hitler” trending and thought it was part of a Daily Mail front page with the word “We” before it. — Jason (@NickMotown) June 9, 2020
10.
They did Nazi this coming https://t.co/73uyLLgSex — Steve Peers (@StevePeers) June 9, 2020
11.
When I saw Miss Hitler was trending I thought Trump had got back into the world of beauty pageants. — Gráinne Maguire (@GrainneMaguire) June 9, 2020
Perhaps strangest of all is that the news seemed somehow to fit in with everything else about 2020.
Okay, who had “Miss Hitler Beauty Pageant Entrant is jailed for being part of a terrorist group” in their 2020 batshittery bingo card? — Santiago Mayer (@santiagomayer_) June 9, 2020
READ MORE
This teacher’s takedown of the guy who said ‘Nazis were socialists’ is an all-time classic of the genre
Source PA Media Image @ansleycreative on Unsplash YouTube


thepoke--2020-06-10--Someone had the perfect takedown for this disillusioned Rage Against the Machine fan

Rage Against the Machine ’ s Tom Morello has been among the most prominent celebrity critics of Donald Trump or @ @ @ @ @ call him , the ‘ orange-faced demagogue ’ .
Morello recently shared this rather fabulous @ @ @ @ @ suggested ‘ successful musician ’ didn ’ t equate with ‘ political expert ’ .
@ @ @ @ @ , someone who used to be a fan of Morello ‘ until your political opinions @ @ @ @ @ the comeback hit exactly the right note .
That amazing NSFW radio moment 5 Live @ @ @ @ @ not to swear and they did anyway

Twitter
Rage Against the Machine’s Tom Morello has been among the most prominent celebrity critics of Donald Trump or, as he prefers to call him, the ‘orange-faced demagogue’.
Morello recently shared this rather fabulous takedown of a troll who suggested ‘successful musician’ didn’t equate with ‘political expert’.
Like shooting fish in a barrel: pic.twitter.com/hxvZ6GgoH5 — Tom Morello (@tmorello) June 6, 2020
This was rather good too, someone who used to be a fan of Morello ‘until your political opinions came out’.
And the comeback hit exactly the right note.
Oof!
‘I now look forward to the debut album from Rage Against the Appliance.’ charface1 ‘Titled: “Fuck that toaster”’ Tesseract556
READ MORE
That amazing NSFW radio moment 5 Live asked Rage Against the Machine not to swear and they did anyway
Source Reddit u/Camotoe


thepoke--2020-06-10--6 favourite things people said about today’s Daily Mail ‘cultural revolution’ front page

The Daily Mail ’ s getting all excited about a ‘ cultural revolution ’ after yet another – the second @ @ @ @ @ owner was removed from its plinth .
Columnist Sarah Vine is particularly vexed , as @ @ @ @ @ today ’ s front page .
And here are our 6 favourite things people said @ @ @ @ @ Mail front page about teachers must try harder – the only 7 responses you need

Twitter
The Daily Mail’s getting all excited about a ‘cultural revolution’ after yet another – the second – statue of a slave owner was removed from its plinth.
Two? Already?
Columnist Sarah Vine is particularly vexed, as you’ll see from today’s front page.
And here are our 6 favourite things people said about it.
1.
https://twitter.com/KathyBurke/status/1270578921793376257?s=20
2.
Would it be possible to have Sarah Vine removed from her plinth at the Daily Mail and placed in museum? Future generations of schoolchildren can then gape in awe at how a mainstream media organisation once allowed her to infect her insidious views on the population. pic.twitter.com/nA82mV7NXA — Billy Vacant (@BillyVacant) June 10, 2020
3.
TODAY: If Poundshop Lady Macbeth Sarah Vine is so concerned about forgetting our colonial past, perhaps she could visit the museum pictured behind the toppled statue where there is a permanent exhibit on… …slavery. https://t.co/SFqBbN0GZZ#TomorrowsPapersToday pic.twitter.com/PrA7os1Xx7 — The DM Reporter (@DMReporter) June 10, 2020
4.
So it turns out it doesn't matter how they're taken down. They just want their statues of slave traders. pic.twitter.com/Sz5GBcVkFB — Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) June 10, 2020
5.
TOMORROW: The only history being erased is your husbands search history, Sarah. #TomorrowsPapersToday #MailFrontPages pic.twitter.com/KIcF6Qkff3 — The DM Reporter (@DMReporter) June 9, 2020
6.
Sarah Vine makes a valid point here. I say the Daily Mail commissions a waxworks museum of murderous imperialists. A sort of Madame Tussauds of Cunts. Which will feature a private masturbation room when it all gets too much for her pic.twitter.com/abFZomtA5C — Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) June 10, 2020
And this.
"We must not alter history, good or bad" says the Daily Mail, about a month after altering history pic.twitter.com/anic4wrs5S — Simon HB (@norock) June 10, 2020
READ MORE
The Daily Mail front page about teachers must try harder – the only 7 responses you need
Source @BBCNews screengrab


thepoke--2020-06-12--The daily briefing got an 80s quiz show ending and it worked a lot better than it should

Darren Dutton has been entertaining himself – and the rest of us – by adding credits and titles to the @ @ @ @ @ when he noticed that Matt Hancock had ended one of them as though he were @ @ @ @ @ he acted accordingly .
At a drop in GDP of over 20 % , we @ @ @ @ @ think the price is right , but the show ’ s theme tune seemed like @ @ @ @ @ Cameron imagined how the show might have gone .
The end credits of the Golden @ @ @ @ @ the daily briefing

Videos
Darren Dutton has been entertaining himself – and the rest of us – by adding credits and titles to the coronavirus daily briefings, so when he noticed that Matt Hancock had ended one of them as though he were a game show host, he acted accordingly.
Is it just me or did Matt Hancock sign off like an 80s tv quiz show host in today's briefing? pic.twitter.com/T8V4jfC0gr — Darren Dutton (@Darren_Dutton) June 8, 2020
At a drop in GDP of over 20%, we doubt many in the government think the price is right, but the show’s theme tune seemed like a great match.
Twitter loved it.
1.
This may be the best thing I’ve seen on Twitter this year 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 (c/o @Darren_Dutton) pic.twitter.com/4G1yL1tZjG — Erron Gordon (@errongordon) June 9, 2020
2.
3.
Can't stop watching this 🤭 https://t.co/NmwWmij9fr — Karin Giannone (@KarinBBC) June 9, 2020
4.
And Bully's special prize…a second wave of Covid-19! Hah just kidding! It's a speed(of Dominic Cummings flying up the A1 to Durham)boat! https://t.co/ocyfviV4FL — Martha O'Sullivan (@MarthaEllenOS) June 11, 2020
5.
Iain Cameron imagined how the show might have gone.
Featuring those classic rounds, 'Guess Today's Govt Policy', 'Make Up A Number', and 'Where's Johnson'? 🙄🤨 https://t.co/XemAI9AV6l — Iain Cameron (@bluesenthused) June 9, 2020
READ MORE
The end credits of the Golden Girls seem hilariously apt for the daily briefing
Source Darren Dutton Image Darren Dutton


thepoke--2020-06-12--Donald Trump invited a tweeter to play golf and the response was a hole in one

We all know Donald Trump spends a lot of time on Twitter , boasting about his ratings , retweeting praise @ @ @ @ @ .
One tweeter discovered that the President also reads his notifications , and what happened @ @ @ @ @ it was astonishing .
Of course , we can ’ t be totally certain that @ @ @ @ @ it does seem like something Trump would do .
At almost 111,000 retweets after 18 @ @ @ @ @ though most people are taking Liam Bennett ‘ s post at face value and so @ @ @ @ @ a few of the things people have been saying about it .
Comedian Sarah Cooper @ @ @ @ @ ’ s own words have been eviscerating the President for our entertainment , had this @ @ @ @ @ counts finding the capslock button as work .
How to get blocked by the CIA @ @ @ @ @ acts

Popular
We all know Donald Trump spends a lot of time on Twitter, boasting about his ratings, retweeting praise or making accusations against opponents.
One tweeter discovered that the President also reads his notifications, and what happened next was as hilarious as it was astonishing.
Wow, that was a wild few minutes where the actual President of the USA was following me on Twitter and even sent me a message. Shame it ended so badly 😭 pic.twitter.com/KejDKTleNu — Liam Bennett (@ljkbennett) June 11, 2020
Of course, we can’t be totally certain that this really happened, but it does seem like something Trump would do.
At almost 111,000 retweets after 18 hours, it looks as though most people are taking Liam Bennett‘s post at face value and so are we.
Here are a few of the things people have been saying about it.
Trump slides into Liam's DMs. https://t.co/MgjgAEJ8ZC — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) June 11, 2020
This is a wonderfully poignant short story in four panels. https://t.co/YLDntn7cy4 — David Corn (@DavidCornDC) June 11, 2020
Comedian Sarah Cooper, whose lip-synchs of Trump’s own words have been eviscerating the President for our entertainment, had this observation.
He really doesn’t do any work does he — Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) June 11, 2020
Not unless he counts finding the capslock button as work.
READ MORE
How to get blocked by the CIA – a play in four acts
Source Liam Bennett Image Liam Bennett, Guardian


thepoke--2020-06-12--“Mastermind with Tommy Robinson” is as hilarious as you’d expect

If you saw Tommy Robinson ‘ s – or actually , Stephen Yaxley-Lennon ‘ s – most recent video rant @ @ @ @ @ condolences , but we have the perfect antidote .
Watch him again , but this @ @ @ @ @ treatment .
There !
Doesn ’ t that feel better ?
These people know .
@ @ @ @ @ thought of it .
from Little Mix GIFs via Gfycat Tommy Robinson ’ s own @ @ @ @ @ again ) in this hilarious sketch

Videos
If you saw Tommy Robinson‘s – or actually, Stephen Yaxley-Lennon‘s – most recent video rant, you have our sincere condolences, but we have the perfect antidote.
Watch him again, but this time with the Nico Yearwood treatment.
MASTERMIND with TOMMY ROBINSON! 🇬🇧 pic.twitter.com/IbXsMlYrkA — Nico Yearwood (@neeksman) June 10, 2020
There! Doesn’t that feel better? These people know.
Haha this is great. 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾 https://t.co/Z6ULxrGUD8 — Adil Ray OBE (@adilray) June 11, 2020
This guy has t t t timing 😂 Love it ! https://t.co/vtc024r8mx — Gina Bellman (@Ginabellman) June 11, 2020
This is the most 🤩 — Tez (@tezilyas) June 10, 2020
We wonder what Little Mix thought of it.
from Little Mix GIFs via Gfycat
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Tommy Robinson’s own words used against him (again) in this hilarious sketch
Source Nico Yearwood Image Nico Yearwood, BBC


thepoke--2020-06-12--Our 7 favourite funny reactions to Lord Sugar boasting about his new plane

With many businesses unable to open and even more workers either struggling on part-time wages , furlough money or less @ @ @ @ @ to see that the wealthier in society are being sensitive to the difficulties and not @ @ @ @ @ Understandably , some people were not impressed with the tech entrepreneur ’ s display .
@ @ @ @ @ on the mockery , and very funny it was too .
He probably got the @ @ @ @ @ .
Lord Sugar doesn ’ t think raising tax for the rich is a good @ @ @ @ @ responses

Twitter
With many businesses unable to open and even more workers either struggling on part-time wages, furlough money or less, it’s good to see that the wealthier in society are being sensitive to the difficulties and not flaunting their – oh!
Collected the New plane today flew it down From Knoxville to Pompano beach pic.twitter.com/bbktcPXxc0 — Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) June 10, 2020
Understandably, some people were not impressed with the tech entrepreneur’s display.
In a pandemic, where people are losing their jobs, where there is poverty, homelessness and food banks. Sugar tits fancies having a new plane. https://t.co/KLVM6gbdvI — [email protected] #NotMeUs (@expressionessd1) June 11, 2020
This lot decided to pile on the mockery, and very funny it was too.
1.
What I love about Lord Sugar is he’s so good at judging the mood of a nation 😂😂 https://t.co/uQ7vJzEqJq — Jason Manford (@JasonManford) June 11, 2020
2.
I’m in a stationary queue at the tip in my VW golf. It’s good to keep one another in the loop. pic.twitter.com/9eqZ40N6oD — Shappi Khorsandi (@ShappiKhorsandi) June 11, 2020
3.
drove my ford fiesta to homebase today but you don’t see me tweeting about it. either way i’m horny hbu?? — Joe Lycett (@joelycett) June 11, 2020
4.
I just ordered a new shed – so you know – living the fucking dream. — Malcolm Tucker Esq 🕷 (@Tucker5law) June 11, 2020
5.
Real man of the people there everyone. So pleased he got a matching hat for his new plane whilst unemployment and child poverty soars. What a man👏👏👏 https://t.co/FqBNYlK0Gt — Geoff Linton (@TheGeoffLinton) June 11, 2020
6.
Just checked … best route is via The Bermuda Triangle. https://t.co/GuxIQKpkne — John Mackin (@mackin_john) June 11, 2020
7.
We need such similar lives.
Today, I have sat on the sofa, had rice krispies whilst sat in my dressing gown.. Thinking about going on a plane on holiday.
So similar. https://t.co/wQpwcythC8 — Craig (@craig_dw) June 11, 2020
A tweeter named Pedro had a slogan idea for Lord Sugar’s cap.
Spent a fortune on a plane and all I got was this shitty matching cap…. https://t.co/Uy5guJxfCJ — Pedro (@Toblueforyou) June 11, 2020
He probably got the bag and shoes, too.
READ MORE
Lord Sugar doesn’t think raising tax for the rich is a good idea – 8 totally unsurprised responses
Source Lord Sugar Image Lord Sugar


thepoke--2020-06-11--Everyone’s enjoying this brilliant on-air takedown of Nigel Farage after it was announced he was lea

Everyone’s enjoying this brilliant on-air takedown of Nigel Farage after it was announced he was leaving LBC

Farewell then , Nigel Farage , who won ’ t be doing his radio show on LBC again after they @ @ @ @ @ effect .
If you only listen to one moment from his LBC show – and @ @ @ @ @ would surely listen to any more – then make it this one , a brilliant @ @ @ @ @ all over again today .
Ah , the look on his face .
Beautifully done @ @ @ @ @ to remember him .
Nigel Farage has broadcast his last show on LBC – our @ @ @

Videos
Farewell then, Nigel Farage, who won’t be doing his radio show on LBC again after they announced his departure with immediate effect.
If you only listen to one moment from his LBC show – and no-one in their right mind would surely listen to any more – then make it this one, a brilliantly done prank call that went viral all over again today.
So your LBC career is over @Nigel_Farage, but we’ll always have that tender moment we shared pic.twitter.com/CyyoQkANY2 — Mark🌹🏳🌈 (@BasementShaxx) June 11, 2020
Ah, the look on his face.
It's my proudest moment — Mark🌹🏳🌈 (@BasementShaxx) June 11, 2020
the deadpan is just perfect — Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) June 11, 2020
And to give it its full credit …
credit to @theCJS for writing the joke — Mark🌹🏳🌈 (@BasementShaxx) June 11, 2020
And you can find lots more here.
Beautifully done, and no better way to remember him.
READ MORE
Nigel Farage has broadcast his last show on LBC – our 6 favourite farewells
Source Twitter @BasementShaxx


thepoke--2020-06-11--Nigel Farage has broadcast his last show on LBC – our 6 favourite farewells

It ’ s only a few days since the owners of LBC , Global Radio , promised to observe a @ @ @ @ @ George Floyd and make a ‘ sustained effort to evolve for the better ’ .
@ @ @ @ @ Kumar wondered how that sat with its continued employment of Nigel Farage .
And today @ @ @ @ @ no more after the station said he was stepping down with immediate effect .
There @ @ @ @ @ on Twitter , of course , and these are our 6 favourite farewells .
This @ @ @ @ @ a lot of people were thinking .
Of if you prefer it in two words @ @ @ @ @ of balance and all that , some people were very sorry to see him go @ @ @ @ @ advice for them too .
This lawyer ’ s takedown of Nigel Farage on GMB @ @ @ @ @

Twitter
It’s only a few days since the owners of LBC, Global Radio, promised to observe a minute’s silence for George Floyd and make a ‘sustained effort to evolve for the better’.
Lots of people like Nish Kumar wondered how that sat with its continued employment of Nigel Farage.
I'm sorry I was under the impression that you were the people who employed Nigel Farage but I guess I'm mistaken https://t.co/I1LbzA6VYU — Nish Kumar (@MrNishKumar) June 8, 2020
And today Farage is an LBC presenter no more after the station said he was stepping down with immediate effect.
Nigel Farage’s contract with LBC is up very shortly and, following discussions with him, Nigel is stepping down from LBC with immediate effect. We thank Nigel for the enormous contribution he has made to LBC and wish him well. — LBC (@LBC) June 11, 2020
There was no shortage of comment on Twitter, of course, and these are our 6 favourite farewells.
Another hideous statue toppled. https://t.co/rG8u4SN7Hk — Tim Walker (@ThatTimWalker) June 11, 2020
https://twitter.com/dannywallace/status/1271100712840318977?s=20
No more making plans for Nigel on @LBC — Gary Lineker (@GaryLineker) June 11, 2020
Nigel Farage is stepping down to spend more time yelling angrily on beaches around the UK. — Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) June 11, 2020
Nigel Farage has stepped down from LBC. Goose stepped down, presumably. — Robin Flavell (@RobinFlavell) June 11, 2020
We got our station back. — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) June 11, 2020
This seemed to sum up what a lot of people were thinking.
https://twitter.com/miffythegamer/status/1271074526449762306?s=20
Of if you prefer it in two words.
Just in the interests of balance and all that, some people were very sorry to see him go.
BIG mistake letting @Nigel_Farage go. His show was one of the few reasons I listened in. Many others will now feel the same. — David Kavanagh (@DramBooks) June 11, 2020
But there was some advice for them too.
Those who will miss hearing Nigel Farage's views on LBC can simply adjust their radio from 97.3 to 1950. — Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) June 11, 2020
PS
How we should all remember @Nigel_Farage "My mummy says you hate foreigners." pic.twitter.com/YCXxQH4xjh — The Sun Apologies (@SunApology) June 11, 2020
READ MORE
This lawyer’s takedown of Nigel Farage on GMB is a supremely satisfying watch


thepoke--2020-06-11--Andrew Cotter’s been commentating on his dogs again and it’s a total delight

Amid the gloom of lockdown Andrew Cotter ’ s videos have been a constant delight .
As if you don @ @ @ @ @ he ’ s the sports commentator who , with a little less live sport these @ @ @ @ @ on his dogs instead .
And we ’ re very glad say he ’ s @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s a total delight .
People also enjoyed the retro look .
Now @ @ @ @ @ videos in one place on YouTube , which you can find here .
https : @ @ @ @ @ should – also follow him on Twitter here .
Thanks Andrew !
( And Olive @ @ @ @ @ .
Andrew Cotter ’ s done one of his dog commentaries for charity and it @ @ @ @ @ needed today

Videos
Amid the gloom of lockdown Andrew Cotter’s videos on Twitter have been a ray of light.
As if you didn’t know already, Andrew’s the sports commentator who – with a little less live sport these days – has been commentating on his dogs instead.
And we’re very glad say he’s done a new one and it’s a total delight.
Having to make do with a lot of archive sport recently. Found this epic encounter. pic.twitter.com/fWNZiY67mm — Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) June 10, 2020
Brilliant!
Mind of a wolf, body of a care bear 🤣 — Sue Woodley (@SueWoodley2) June 10, 2020
“I’m not sure it ever will end” We all hope it doesn’t ever end Andrew.
Another brilliantly put together video. You’ve made my day again. — 🏃🏼💪🏼 Paul Yates 💪🏼🏃🏼 (@SalfordRunner) June 10, 2020
Thank you Andrew. From,
The World. — Maurice Walsh (@mauricewalsh1) June 10, 2020
People also enjoyed the retro look.
Kudos to the graphics’ designer. First class 1980s’ reimagining. — Iain Cameron (@theiaincameron) June 10, 2020
The brilliance of @magooster — Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) June 10, 2020
Now Andrew has collected all his videos in one place on YouTube, which you can find here.
Just because a lot of people seem to have appropriated Olive and Mabel on YouTube, all of their appearances so far are here on this channel. https://t.co/y59p2YZhd3 — Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) June 10, 2020
And you can also follow him on Twitter here.
READ MORE
Andrew Cotter’s done one of his dog commentaries for charity and it’s just what we needed today
Source @MrAndrewCotter


thepoke--2020-06-11--‘Maybe rethink that again … Peter’

‘Maybe rethink that again … Peter’

Can ’ t quite work out if this is comeback of the week or facepalm of the week .
Probably @ @ @ @ @ that again…Peter , ’ said MeamesMeter over on Reddit .
Tommy Robinson left speechless after @ @ @ @ @ has gone viral all over again

Twitter
Can’t quite work out if this is comeback of the week or facepalm of the week. Probably both.
‘Maybe rethink that again…Peter,’ said MeamesMeter over on Reddit.
And just in case you don’t already know, @PeterSweden7 is a far-right speaker and ‘truth seeker’ who’s not overly keen on the mainstream media.
And our favourite comment that it prompted.
‘Hitler killed the leader of the Nazis but we don’t celebrate him.’ darrellmarch
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Tommy Robinson left speechless after racism was explained to him has gone viral all over again
Source Reddit u/MeamesMeter