thepoke--2020-05-11--Kay Burley’s takedown of this ‘botox’ troll wins comeback of the day

Comeback of the day goes to Sky News presenter Kay Burley after a not overly literate troll on Twitter bothered @ @ @ @ @ ’ re not entirely sure of the context but never mind about that .
No @ @ @ @ @ And it ’ s not the first time she ’ s done this sort of @ @ @ @ @ this … … and this memorable exchange in three acts .
Kay Burley had a @ @ @ @ @ the MP defending Boris Johnson ’ s honesty

Twitter
Comeback of the day goes to Sky News presenter Kay Burley.
It started when Burley stepped in to defend her fellow breakfast news presenter, Susanna Reid on ITV.
You and @piersmorgan can trade blows to your hearts content but back off from @susannareid100 She is a superb presenter. I simply won’t have it, my Lord. Keep well. https://t.co/AqDCE01drx — Kay Burley (@KayBurley) May 11, 2020
Prompting a person called Robert – ‘if you don’t like my opinions you can do one’ – to offer up this.
And Burley’s response was 10/10.
No wonder he deleted it.
https://twitter.com/tomhfh/status/1259848310535458820?s=20
Always the best policy Tom x — Kay Burley (@KayBurley) May 11, 2020
Fair fucks. For once, I enjoyed a Kay Burley tweet pic.twitter.com/5QbGh83rZP — Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) May 11, 2020
Kay Burley has an enviable track record in this sort of thing. You might remember this …
It’s *too
And *too
And *meant
And *I am https://t.co/VgATHOesLY — Kay Burley (@KayBurley) November 24, 2019
… and this memorable exchange in three acts.
https://twitter.com/KayBurley/status/1176949913915133958?s=20
I’m an aubergine 😂😂😂😂🤮♥ — Andy Wigmore (@andywigmore) September 25, 2019
READ MORE
Kay Burley had a zinger of an answer for the MP defending Boris Johnson’s honesty
H/T @BeardedGenius


thepoke--2020-05-11--Simply 23 jokes about Boris Johnson’s confusing new Covid-19 rules to help take the edge off

There ’ s a lot of confusion right now about exactly what we ’ re supposed ( and allowed ) @ @ @ @ @ stop the spread of Covid-19 and we ’ re not entirely sure Boris Johnson is @ @ @ @ @ deal to clear it up later today .
It ’ s made for another grim @ @ @ @ @ which prompted no end of concern and confusion on Twitter .
Fortunately for everyone involved @ @ @ @ @ funny tweets as well , of which these 23 are among the best .
Hopefully @ @ @ @ @ the edge off a little bit .

Pics
There’s a lot of confusion right now about exactly what we’re supposed (and allowed) to be doing to help stop the spread of Covid-19 and we’re not entirely sure Boris Johnson is going to do a great deal to clear it up later today.
It’s made for another grim start to another grim week which prompted no end of concern and confusion on Twitter. Fortunately for everyone involved, it prompted lots of funny tweets as well, of which these 23 are among the best.
Hopefully they’ll help take the edge off a little bit.
1.
It couldn't really be simpler. You can meet up with girls who are boys, who like boys to be girls, who do boys like they're girls, who do girls like they're boys, always should be someone you really love. And always stay two metres apart. — Richard Osman (@richardosman) May 11, 2020
2.
How does a man with 8-10 kids not think to mention when we might be able to start seeing our families again — James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 10, 2020
3.
Nicola Sturgeon has announced that Scottish people are now allowed to exercise more than once a day, lifting a restriction that has been in place since 1853. — Tom Peck (@tompeck) May 10, 2020
4.
Guys remember to stay alert. I was just out for a walk and saw a piece of virus coming towards me, but because I was being alert I managed to dive out of the way — Ed Gamble (@EdGambleComedy) May 10, 2020
5.
Clarification: You can meet ONE person from outside your household in a MULTI-STOREY CAR PARK so long as ONE of you is wearing a TRENCH COAT and the headlights of your car are on HIGH BEAM to protect your identity. — Chris Addison (@mrchrisaddison) May 11, 2020
6.
I was out for a walk & saw the Coronavirus heading towards me but thanks to the new government advice of staying alert I hid behind a tree & it totally missed me.
Thanks Boris — joe heenan (@joeheenan) May 10, 2020
7.
Boris Johnson's Covid graph in full pic.twitter.com/RJInfdyzom — HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) May 10, 2020
8.
"I suggest we stay alert" pic.twitter.com/RUFDMTAdug — John Rain CBE (@MrKenShabby) May 10, 2020
9.
Are you able to go and see your grandparent at a park with a bag of grain and a fox but leave the chicken behind? — Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) May 11, 2020
10.
I have two twin brothers. One always tells the truth and the other always lies. Under the new advice can I meet both at the gateway to the labyrinth as long as we stay 2m apart? — Dorian Lynskey (@Dorianlynskey) May 11, 2020
11.
If we’re now allowed to sit on a park bench with one other person, two metres apart, I guess at least it’s a much-needed boost for the British spy industry. — Jane Hill (@janehill64) May 11, 2020
12.


thepoke--2020-05-11--Piers Morgan destroyed this Tory MP over Boris Johnson’s Covid-19 guidelines and the entire internet

Piers Morgan destroyed this Tory MP over Boris Johnson’s Covid-19 guidelines and the entire internet cheered

It ’ s fair to say that a lot of people are confused by Boris Johnson ’ s new Covid-19 @ @ @ @ @ he ’ d do his bit to help by asking Tory MP Andrew Bridgen to @ @ @ @ @ ask Bridgen because no government minister was prepared to come on .
Anyway , this @ @ @ @ @ it had the whole internet cheering .
This is simultaneously why cabinet ministers should go @ @ @ @ @ and why they don ’ t .
Here were just a few of the things @ @ @ @ @ today .
7 times Piers Morgan was everyone ’ s unlikeliest hero after Boris Johnson @ @ @ @ @ Good Morning Britain

Twitter
A lot of people are confused by Boris Johnson’s new Covid-19 guidelines so Piers Morgan thought he’d do his bit to help by asking Tory MP Andrew Bridgen to explain.
He had to ask Bridgen because no government minister – let alone Johnson himself – was prepared to be interviewed by the presenter on ITV’s Good Morning Britain.
Here’s what happened next and it had the whole internet cheering.
Piers Morgan rips Andrew Bridgen a new one for not understanding his own government's rules. "You have just told me to do something that I'm not allowed to do." #GMB pic.twitter.com/8kOlElNloR — Haggis_UK 🇬🇧 🇪🇺 (@Haggis_UK) May 11, 2020
This is simultaneously why cabinet ministers should go on Good Morning Britain, and why they don’t.
Here were just a few of the things people were saying about it today.
Watch @piersmorgan eviscerate Andrew Bridgen this morning & remember that most of our media spent four years treating politicians like him as the intellectual equals of people like Mark Carney & Paul Nurse. Because 'balance'. — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) May 11, 2020
This crisis had better end soon or I'm going to end up respecting Piers Morgan. pic.twitter.com/NrAFkklRc5 — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) May 11, 2020
Piers Morgan absolutely destroying Andrew Bridgen on GMTV this morning. A must watch. A few months ago I would eat marmite than bear to listen to Piers. But he is single-handedly holding the Govt to account. — steve harris (@Harris59Steve) May 11, 2020
This, from @piersmorgan, is a masterclass in the questions all journalists should be asking in this pandemic. If you're not holding government to account now, over potentially tens of thousands of avoidable deaths, then when? pic.twitter.com/ajJUNDxqvY — Owen Jones (@OwenJones84) May 11, 2020
Things are really weird now when I find myself agreeing with Piers Morgan on anything at all, but this is spot on! — David Farbey (@dfarb) May 11, 2020
I have no dog in the fight but strikes me ministers risk being more damaged by boycotting @gmb than by appearing on it . — Mark Austin (@markaustintv) May 11, 2020
I never thought I'd say this, but Piers Morgan was brilliant — B T (@BriTurner14) May 11, 2020
Right wingers losing their shit over Piers Morgan truly is a thing of beauty.
Last year they were like
"Hahaha! You can't take what he's saying, well suck it up snowflake!!!"
And now it's
"BAN HIM FROM MY TELLY!!! BAN HIM!!!!!"
It's glorious — joe heenan (@joeheenan) May 11, 2020
READ MORE
7 times Piers Morgan was everyone’s unlikeliest hero after Boris Johnson bans ministers from appearing on Good Morning Britain


thepoke--2020-05-11--The Covid-19 alert system is reminding people of Nando’s Peri-ometer – 5 hot takes

There was something about Boris Johnson ’ s new Covid-19 alert system that reminded people of the Nando ’ s @ @ @ @ @ say , they ’ ve got a point .
And these are our 5 favourite @ @ @ @ @ .
It must be bad because even Phillip Schofield can ’ t take Boris Johnson @

Twitter
There was something about Boris Johnson’s new Covid-19 alert system that reminded people of the Nando’s Peri-ometer and you have to say, they’ve got a point.
The COVID meter looks like the Nandos Periometer. pic.twitter.com/atDBtEMlJv — Successful Influencer & Investor (@Bertaroo) May 10, 2020
And these are our 5 favourite, ahem, hot takes.
Boris has used his Powerpoint presentation to trigger Nando's craving pic.twitter.com/5Mk4IKLKVM — A7 R Æ M-15T (@alrhemist) May 10, 2020
So we’re in Medium Covid-19 when we actually need Lemon & Herb Covid-19? Gotcha. pic.twitter.com/muDPbem9my — Dean Dobbs (@DeanDobbs) May 10, 2020
This is too risky a positioning for a Nandos order, let alone public health… pic.twitter.com/8HIFNcyDKj — Carl Anka (@Ankaman616) May 10, 2020
boris said we can go to the pub when we reach lemon and herb pic.twitter.com/5qG8XJUVm6 — saz (@sarahlostctrl) May 10, 2020
Lemon and Herd — Elliot Newstead (@ejnewstead) May 10, 2020
READ MORE
It must be bad because even Phillip Schofield can’t take Boris Johnson anymore
H/T Indy100


thepoke--2020-05-11--It must be bad because even Phillip Schofield can’t take Boris Johnson anymore

Phillip Schofield ’ s mad as hell and he can ’ t take it anymore .
Specifically , he ’ s been left at a loss – like most of us – by Boris Johnson ’ s latest Covid-19 guidelines .
We know this because he was on This Morning today and he said this .
‘ If this was in a farce on the telly I ’ d go that ’ s a bit far fetched , no government would arse it up that much .
It is utterly astonishing .
‘ We have been really level on here @ @ @ @ @ @ @ here , but now this has just tipped us over the edge today until somebody maybe would come on the show and explain what it is that you actually want us to do .
‘ What are we allowed to do , are you genuinely saying that we can only meet one parent ?
’ And it ’ s fair to say he made quite the impression .
Here are just a few of the things people were saying about it on Twitter .
It ’ s certainly a far cry from how @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on This Morning before the election .
Boris Johnson ’ s Covid-19 update speech went down like a cough in a lift – 17 baffled responses

Twitter
Phillip Schofield’s mad as hell and he can’t take it anymore. Specifically, he’s been left at a loss – like most of us – by Boris Johnson’s latest Covid-19 guidelines.
We know this because he was on This Morning today and he said this.
Even the most moderate telly this morning is bemused on the new guidance. #BorisHasFailedBritain pic.twitter.com/xsGkw3XIlf — Alan Mearns (@alanmearns1) May 11, 2020
‘If this was in a farce on the telly I’d go that’s a bit far fetched, no government would arse it up that much. It is utterly astonishing. ‘We have been really level on here, we have been really sensible on here, but now this has just tipped us over the edge today until somebody maybe would come on the show and explain what it is that you actually want us to do. ‘What are we allowed to do, are you genuinely saying that we can only meet one parent?’
And it’s fair to say he made quite the impression. Here are just a few of the things people were saying about it on Twitter.
1.
https://twitter.com/davemacladd/status/1259798639364448257?s=20
2.
This is — genuinely — a significant moment https://t.co/BxToviJOYY — Alan White (@aljwhite) May 11, 2020
3.
There's poor leadership, there's general incompetence – and then there's screwing up to such an unfathomable degree that you manage to piss off Phillip Schofield.pic.twitter.com/v5sJIOn3h4 — Graham Lithgow (@grahamlithgow) May 11, 2020
4.
"MUMMMM!! Philip Schofield said 'arse' on telly!" https://t.co/wxDFbaxJrq — Tom Sutcliffe (@tds153) May 11, 2020
5.
HOLY SHIT THEY'VE ACTIVATED SCHOFIELD https://t.co/GTWZREPkQH — i hate the coron-Ewa-rus (@EwaSR) May 11, 2020
6.
https://twitter.com/ZombyWoof4/status/1259803744411271168?s=20
7.
I think this from Phil and Holly could actually be reasonably significant.
-Their show is rarely political.
-Big broad audience.
-Away from the bubble.
-And they are losing patience with the government: #ThisMorning pic.twitter.com/NLAu4sGUUF — Joe Pike (@joepike) May 11, 2020
8.
You know the government are in a pickle when Johnson cheerleader, Philip Schofield, rips in to “Boris” for the state of confusion we find ourselves in today. — Rachael Swindon (@Rachael_Swindon) May 11, 2020
9.
Oh shit man, we're through the looking glass now. It's defcon one. Even Schofield's gone renegade. https://t.co/Wkj8l1jyUv — Ian Dunt (@IanDunt) May 11, 2020
It’s certainly a far cry from how Schofield treated Johnson when he turned up on This Morning before the election.
To conclude …
Oh you know things are not going well, when Philip Schofield is going full rogue on live TV over the govts actions/inactions/failures. For those saying he should’ve done it sooner. Let’s take a moment to be grateful now. More media needs to follow suit.pic.twitter.com/uz07yHetxs — Dr. Jennifer Cassidy (@OxfordDiplomat) May 11, 2020
READ MORE
Boris Johnson’s Covid-19 update speech went down like a cough in a lift – 17 baffled responses
Source @alanmearns1


thepoke--2020-05-11--Simply 13 funny comments on how everyone’s handling the pandemic

The advice has changed from “ stay home ” to “ stay alert ” and more people will be expected @ @ @ @ @ Chances are that isn ’ t great news for most people .
We can ’ @ @ @ @ @ we can give you something to laugh at , so here are some of Twitter @ @ @ @ @ how the population and the government are handling the pandemic .
There ’ s a @ @ @ @ @ tweets – our 13 funny faves

Twitter
The advice has changed from “stay home” to “stay alert” and more people will be expected to go to work.
Chances are that isn’t great news for most people.
We can’t fix policy, but we can give you something to laugh at, so here are some of Twitter’s funniest takes on how the population and the government are handling the pandemic.
1.
Road Map to Easing Lockdown: From next week, you may leave your homes as many times as you wish but you must not under any circumstances enjoy yourself. Haberdashers will be permitted to open. — Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) May 8, 2020
2.
When it starts to loosen up there will be a couple of weeks when folk having affairs can only meet at garden centres; these afternoons will have an alienated, sordid beauty, and on the long drive home, people will tearfully explain their predicaments to huge, unwanted hydrangea — Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) May 8, 2020
3.
Do locksmiths count as key workers? — Declan Cashin (@Tweet_Dec) May 7, 2020
4.
I just said, loudly and with authority, “Computer, end pandemic simulation,” but it didn’t work. I thought it was worth a try. — Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) May 7, 2020
5.
During the plague we all used to hold hands and dance around and sing Ring A Ring A Roses and it never did us any harm. — David Quantick (@quantick) May 10, 2020
6.
UK to shout “stop being such a dickhead” at Hitler’s corpse in attempt to prevent World War Two pic.twitter.com/916ek3WDg1 — James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 9, 2020
7.
three palpably unrelated youths have congregated in the park pic.twitter.com/UuA0i5cHam — Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) May 9, 2020
8.
Farage sunbathing? Full lockdown now – for Christ's sake! pic.twitter.com/8u318Swz3G — Otto English (@Otto_English) May 10, 2020
9.
I will continue to adhere to the Skepta Method…. pic.twitter.com/gsMAGcCrZO — Carl Anka (@Ankaman616) May 10, 2020
10.
11.
The new lockdown position sounds like a Patricia Highsmith novel: golf, tennis, unlimited sunbathing; and illicit meetings with people from other households in parks. — Stig Abell (@StigAbell) May 10, 2020
12.
Boris Johnson seeks to clarify his latest COVID-19 strategy: ’Look, it's very simple. My first is in "river" and also in "stream" …’ — Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) May 10, 2020
13.
We've been very clear: you can meet your mother for golf but not Pictionary. Your father can join in a game of charades but only if he shouts his answers from upstairs — Michael Deacon (@MichaelPDeacon) May 11, 2020
READ MORE
There’s a brand new batch of lockdown tweets – our 13 funny faves
Image @curlycomedy


thepoke--2020-05-11--These products aimed at men might have overdone the machismo just a tad

There has long been a backlash against gendering products .
Why is there a “ girls ’ toys ” aisle full of pink items , dolls and prams and a “ boys ’ toys ” aisle brimming with mini tools , monster trucks and blue – lots of blue ?
It isn ’ t only children being subjected to subliminal labelling , as this tweet from Technical Producer , Shayna Moon proves .
What does accomplishment smell like – and is it all that different from productivity ?
Don ’ t even get us started on naval supremacy .
This @ @ @ @ @ @ @ men , it ’ s for heterosexual man .
Just to hammer home how soon the everyday sexism of products actually starts , check out these baby shoes .
By the way , if “ naval supremacy is still haunting you , here ’ s the best description we ’ re likely to see .
Just what you want standing next to you on the subway when you ’ ve been forced back to work .
Sexism wasn ’ t the only reason people were mad with this Tesco ‘ girls toys ’ @

Twitter
There has long been a backlash against gendering products. Why is there a “girls’ toys” aisle full of pink items, dolls and prams and a “boys’ toys” aisle brimming with mini tools, monster trucks and blue – lots of blue?
It isn’t only children being subjected to subliminal labelling, as this tweet from Technical Producer, Shayna Moon proves.
Are you ready for images of the best “soap but for MEN” product you’ve ever seen? pic.twitter.com/kVAWb57UlF — Shayna Moon, Unity Lich (@qorquiq) May 8, 2020
What does accomplishment smell like – and is it all that different from productivity? Don’t even get us started on naval supremacy.
Some people replied with “men’s” products they’d spotted.
1.
Ah yes but have you seen the world of MENS YOGURT pic.twitter.com/D9S5YTwHn5 — Bone Chillington 🏳🌈 (@dr_presidente) May 8, 2020
2.
3.
I'll see your Naval Supremacy, and raise you pic.twitter.com/UJE9wxeRvp — 🏴Greg | Applied Eschatology 🏴 (@Greg_Sideyr) May 8, 2020
4.
Lmao! I saw that soap last year on a trip to see my grandpa, although it was in bar form. I'd never seen it before. I bought this one for him as a joke because he was in the navy. I asked him what naval supremacy smells like 🤷🏼♀ pic.twitter.com/mj8Z6yifMg — Sophia (@Jaclyn15788094) May 8, 2020
5.
Chocolate milk, but for MEN pic.twitter.com/2mmHZ6DkZi — Colm (@colmuacuinn) May 8, 2020
6.
They also have a charcoal soap pic.twitter.com/Iebc1ScgWq — Kyle (@Montana_Ag) May 8, 2020
7.
Specially formulated for the insecure male undercarriage. pic.twitter.com/q4EvRXTVH7 — Adam Gaylord ☕🥞🥓 (@AuthorGaylord) November 15, 2019
This product isn’t just aimed at men, it’s for heterosexual man.
I know it’s not soap but it is a toiletry that’s is strictly for heteros. pic.twitter.com/lknuXLE5XD — Tom Wood (@tomdww) May 8, 2020
Just to hammer home how soon the everyday sexism of products actually starts, check out these baby shoes.
Fatiguée comme Pépite Sexiste 👌 pic.twitter.com/GPc8j6GpV1 — Pépite Sexiste (@PepiteSexiste) May 2, 2020
By the way, if “naval supremacy is still haunting you, here’s the best description we’re likely to see.
Sweat, wet wood, gunpowder — Greg Jenner: 'DEAD FAMOUS OUT NOW!' (@greg_jenner) May 8, 2020
Just what you want standing next to you on the subway when you’ve been forced back to work.
READ MORE
Sexism wasn’t the only reason people were mad with this Tesco ‘girls toys’ sign
Source @qorquiq Image @qorquiq, @colmuacuinn


thepoke--2020-05-11--Warning: Olaf Falafel’s Government COVID Slogan generator is highly addictive

You can ’ t have failed to notice the UK government ’ s latest Covid-19 advice slogan , with its @ @ @ @ @ that ’ s giving people flashbacks to trying to wire a plug .
Here it @ @ @ @ @ .
Since it was unveiled at the weekend , it has been widely shredded online @ @ @ @ @ with their own versions .
If you fancy making your own poster but don ’ @ @ @ @ @ , then this is your lucky day , because the very talented Olaf Falafel has @ @ @ @ @ them for you , at the click of a mouse .
We had to have @ @ @ @ @ , so here are some we prepared earlier .
A lot of people have been @ @ @ @ @ , like these .
Finally , we aren ’ t saying the current policy smells @ @ @ @ @ alright , Jack ” , but … “ When your grandkids ask you about 2020 @ @ @ @ @ a song for that

Videos
You can’t have failed to notice the UK government’s latest Covid-19 advice slogan, with its distinctive green and yellow edging that’s giving people flashbacks to trying to wire a plug.
Here it is in all its glory.
As we start to recover from #coronavirus, we all need to play our part by following the rules. This is how to #StayAlert ⬇ pic.twitter.com/h3zsa6rRdq — Boris Johnson #StayAlert (@BorisJohnson) May 10, 2020
Funky soundtrack.
Since it was unveiled at the weekend, it has been widely shredded online, with people coming up with their own versions.
The new government advice is looking incredibly manageable. pic.twitter.com/JECkgRo0LG — Dave Murphy (@ProducerDaveFM) May 10, 2020
If you fancy making your own poster but don’t have the photo-editing skills, then this is your lucky day, because the very talented Olaf Falafel has created a gif that generates them for you, at the click of a mouse.
I made you a Government COVID Slogan generator pic.twitter.com/qfCDRrLfzu — Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) May 10, 2020
We had to have a go, of course, so here are some we prepared earlier.
A lot of people have been enjoying Olaf’s handiwork, like these.
This is fantastic 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 — Guy Phillips (@Guuuuuy) May 10, 2020
Now you too can pretend to be Dominic Cummings and unleash your wisdom on the trusting public. https://t.co/zsQfUO3crQ — Sian Ryan (@sianryan) May 10, 2020
Finally, we aren’t saying the current policy smells of “I’m alright, Jack”, but …
READ MORE
“When your grandkids ask you about 2020” – Olaf Falafel has a song for that
Source Olaf Falafel Image Olaf Falafel


thepoke--2020-05-13--People enjoyed Victoria Derbyshire’s savage burn of anyone watching the sun rise online

There ’ ll be no summer solstice event at Stonehenge this year , the 21 June gathering cancelled because of @ @ @ @ @ the good news , said Victoria Derbyshire on BBC News , was that the sunrise @ @ @ @ @ And she had this blunt message for anyone thinking of doing that .
People thought @ @ @ @ @ looked like coronavirus – because it did

Videos
There’ll be no summer solstice event at Stonehenge this year, the 21 June gathering cancelled because of Covid-19, obviously.
But the good news, said Victoria Derbyshire on BBC News, was that the sunrise will be streamed online. And she had this blunt message for anyone thinking of doing that.
Victoria Derbyshire is as tired as the rest of us. pic.twitter.com/k9Ui3ybCFb — Ryan Love (@RyanJL) May 12, 2020
Boom.
She has a point. — Mikey Cyrus (@MikeyCyrus) May 12, 2020
I’m increasingly obsessed with how fantastic she is. She should be doing News at Ten, the 6 etc. And hosting Question Time! — Mattie Jameson (@MattieAJameson) May 12, 2020
Love this report by @vicderbyshire on the cancellation of the summer solstice at Stonehenge. “The event will be streamed online… “Or you could … just get up and look at the sky yourself.” pic.twitter.com/GHZl3RlDFn — Scott Bryan (@scottygb) May 12, 2020
READ MORE
People thought Victoria Derbyshire’s dress looked like coronavirus – because it did
Source @RyanJL


thepoke--2020-05-13--This accidentally slapstick baking demo is the laugh we all knead right now

In spite of there now being plenty of bread – and cake – available in the shops , people seem @ @ @ @ @ during lockdown , but they ’ d be well advised to steer clear of copying @ @ @ @ @ clip , originally shared on Facebook by Andres Percu Alegría , couldn ’ t have @ @ @ @ @ slapstick if it had been performed by Buster Keaton .
Now , we don ’ @ @ @ @ @ of Spanish , but we definitely understood the panicky “ Cut !
Cut !
” @ @ @ @ @ , it certainly seemed to give people a lift .
Artist , Sophie Green , @ @ @ @ @ for us all when she said this : Somebody send her some flours .
James @ @ @ @ @ on Bake Off perfectly capture the creative process

Videos
In spite of there now being plenty of bread – and cake – available in the shops, people seem to have gone baking mad during lockdown, but they’d be well advised to steer clear of copying this unfortunate baker.
I can't stop laughing at this pic.twitter.com/EzjMSLyqtd — Giles Paley-Phillips (@eliistender10) May 12, 2020
The clip, originally shared on Facebook by Andres Percu Alegría, couldn’t have been a better example of slapstick if it had been performed by Buster Keaton.
Now, we don’t have the best grasp of Spanish, but we definitely understood the panicky “Cut! Cut!”
When Giles shared the clip, it certainly seemed to give people a lift.
This is a keeper! Stunt chapati making! https://t.co/fyvaGI0NJj — Sanjeev Bhaskar (@TVSanjeev) May 12, 2020
This has really made me laugh till my sides ache 😂😂😂😂😂😂 — Jo Malone CBE (@JoMaloneCBE) May 12, 2020
This is why I don’t bake! 😁 https://t.co/BIgq3VMsiP — Sophie Blake (@sophieRblake) May 12, 2020
Soz!..but it IS funny!🥊 — Mike McCartney (@_MikeMcCartney_) May 13, 2020
Artist, Sophie Green, must surely have been speaking for us all when she said this:
This pretty much sums up my entire year so far 😂 — Sophie Green Fine Art (@sophiegreenart) May 12, 2020
Somebody send her some flours.
READ MORE
James Acaster’s ill-fated efforts on Bake Off perfectly capture the creative process
Source Facebook Image Facebook


thepoke--2020-05-13--Mark Steel’s Boris Johnson impression is a smorgasbord of meaningless waffle – just like the real th

Mark Steel’s Boris Johnson impression is a smorgasbord of meaningless waffle – just like the real thing

We ’ ve been seeing a lot more of Boris Johnson than we ’ re accustomed to , over the @ @ @ @ @ it hasn ’ t exactly been the most informative of periods .
Comedian , Mark @ @ @ @ @ the psyche of a classically-educated waffler and given us a version of Boris Johnson ’ @ @ @ @ @ have come straight from the mouth of the PM .
See for yourself .
Let @ @ @ @ @ those expressions : If Mark is looking for extra work to tide him over during @ @ @ @ @ probably write Johnson ’ s speeches for him .
Nobody would notice the difference .
@ @ @ @ @ s advice has been considerably better than the reaction to that of the PM .
@ @ @ @ @ ’ s speech from 14 minutes to 17 seconds and it ’ s a succinct @

Videos
We’ve been seeing a lot more of Boris Johnson than we’re accustomed to, over the last few days, although it hasn’t exactly been the most informative of periods.
Comedian, Mark Steel, has tapped into the psyche of a classically-educated waffler and given us a version of Boris Johnson’s coronavirus advice which could have come straight from the mouth of the PM.
See for yourself.
Here’s my Boris, don’t suppose it’s the only one pic.twitter.com/8R4yFjuF9H — Mark Steel (@mrmarksteel) May 11, 2020
Let’s re-run some of those expressions:
“a cornucopia of pandemic – annus pandemicus, if you will.“
“We cannot allow R to exceed 2 x R, except during its daily exercise.“
“So, inter alia ipso facto – you will not be allowed to travel unless you are on the way to somewhere.“
If Mark is looking for extra work to tide him over during the lockdown, he could probably write Johnson’s speeches for him. Nobody would notice the difference.
The reaction to Mark’s advice has been considerably better than the reaction to that of the PM.
This had me crying with laughter as opposed to #borisjohnsonspeech leaving me crying with frustration #StayHome https://t.co/iMFfUBQt4t — Jacqui Hames (@jacquihames) May 12, 2020
The hysteria is setting in: I haven't laughed so hard in ages — Kate Frost (@kate_frost) May 11, 2020
That is weirdly good. — Victoria Coren Mitchell (@VictoriaCoren) May 11, 2020
As Cristina Jackson observed …
If you’re not clear on what you should or shouldn’t be doing today, this won’t help but it’s bloody funny 😄 https://t.co/lddljXlAl9 — Cristina Jackson #FBPE (@CristinaJ19) May 13, 2020
READ MORE
Matt Lucas cut Boris Johnson’s speech from 14 minutes to 17 seconds and it’s a succinct delight
Source Mark Steel Image BBC News screengrab, Mark Steel


thepoke--2020-05-13--This spoof school letter hilariously explains how the pupils’ return might be handled

In the latest update to the government ’ s coronavirus strategy , they have decided to begin a phased reopening of schools , starting with Reception , Year 1 and Year 6 .
Not everybody is convinced that this is a good idea .
Prize-winning children ’ s author and very funny man , Philip Ardagh , has been having a think about how schools might prepare for the big reopening , and he has penned this hilarious letter .
In case that isn ’ t clear , we wouldn ’ t want you to miss out , so here @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to report that St Andrew ’ s Primary will be open from next Monday and , should you be in a position to do so , your child/children will be able to return to school .
I am sure you will appreciate that , until Government restrictions are lifted , the school day will be very different to that in more normal times .
Firstly , on arrival at school , children will be required to strip to their underwear , shower and wear one of the disposable one-size-fits-all paper jumpsuits provided .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ is hugely optimistic and will do our best to adapt them accordingly , with the aid of clothes pegs , gaffer tape and – for the larger child – bin-liners .
Once in their jumpsuit , each child will be provided with and wear a 2-metre ‘ distancer ’ .
Made by Mr _____ , the senior school ’ s woodwork teacher during lockdown , from a Government-provided template , a distancer is a metal hoop worn around the pupil ’ s waist like a belt , with a 2-metre long wooden pole @ @ @ @ @ @ @ broom handle , protruding from the front .
At regular intervals during the day , we are required to issue the instruction “ Helicopter !
” which , on hearing , requires the children to spin , their distancers acting not unlike helicopter rotor blades , to ensure that sufficient distance is being maintained between them .
We do appreciate that , in these initial stages , this is likely to cause damage to pupils , teachers and the school alike , which is why , as per Government instruction , we have @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the playground , staffed by a volunteer healthcare professional , Miss ________ , and have ‘ Snazzy-Glass ’ , our local glazier , on speed-dial .
Miss ________ ’ s Personal Protective Equipment has been decorated by her niece , Tanya , who won last year ’ s school design-a-bug-hotel-poster competition , to look as bright and cheerful and as non-threatening as possible .
All that it remains for me to do is to ask that you , as parent or carer , ensure that your child/children arrive at school at 5.00AM each @ @ @ @ @ @ @ these daily set-up protocols .
In the words of the Government , “ Keep Doing Some Stuff , But Not Other Stuff.
” We ’ re so far through the looking glass , some wondered if it were real .
Someone was even more worried that it could become real .
Of course it won ’ t – the government has good , solid British common sense .
You won ’ t see a better lockdown exit strategy than this reader ’ s letter to the Guardian

In the latest update to the government’s coronavirus strategy, they have decided to begin a phased reopening of schools, starting with Reception, Year 1 and Year 6.
Not everybody is convinced that this is a good idea.
What a great idea to bring back Reception and Year 1 classes. – The two groups who understand the least about social distancing, hand-washing and the ones who share the most equipment in their learning activities. Surely the teaching unions must step in.
Hi DfE. Just wondering if anyone in the office has ever been in a year 1 or reception class? Been an EYFS teacher for 10 years now and can tell you right now that a) they don’t understand about social distancing, b) don’t wash their hands and c) they need hugs. Regularly.
Prize-winning children’s author and very funny man, Philip Ardagh, has been having a think about how schools might prepare for the big reopening, and he has penned this hilarious letter.
It’s comedy gold.
In case that isn’t clear, we wouldn’t want you to miss out, so here it is again.
“Dear Mr Ardagh
We are delighted to report that St Andrew’s Primary will be open from next Monday and, should you be in a position to do so, your child/children will be able to return to school.
I am sure you will appreciate that, until Government restrictions are lifted, the school day will be very different to that in more normal times.
Firstly, on arrival at school, children will be required to strip to their underwear, shower and wear one of the disposable one-size-fits-all paper jumpsuits provided. We are aware that ‘one-size-fits-all’ is hugely optimistic and will do our best to adapt them accordingly, with the aid of clothes pegs, gaffer tape and – for the larger child – bin-liners.
Once in their jumpsuit, each child will be provided with and wear a 2-metre ‘distancer’. Made by Mr _____, the senior school’s woodwork teacher during lockdown, from a Government-provided template, a distancer is a metal hoop worn around the pupil’s waist like a belt, with a 2-metre long wooden pole, the width and shape of a broom handle, protruding from the front.
At regular intervals during the day, we are required to issue the instruction “Helicopter!” which, on hearing, requires the children to spin, their distancers acting not unlike helicopter rotor blades, to ensure that sufficient distance is being maintained between them.
We do appreciate that, in these initial stages, this is likely to cause damage to pupils, teachers and the school alike, which is why, as per Government instruction, we have set up a Nightingale Triage Tent in the playground, staffed by a volunteer healthcare professional, Miss ________, and have ‘Snazzy-Glass’, our local glazier, on speed-dial.
Miss ________’s Personal Protective Equipment has been decorated by her niece, Tanya, who won last year’s school design-a-bug-hotel-poster competition, to look as bright and cheerful and as non-threatening as possible.
All that it remains for me to do is to ask that you, as parent or carer, ensure that your child/children arrive at school at 5.00AM each day in order for us to facilitate these daily set-up protocols.
In the words of the Government, “Keep Doing Some Stuff, But Not Other Stuff.”


thepoke--2020-05-13--Arnold Schwarzenegger has been working on his flexibility during lockdown – and it’s an eye opener

Arnold Schwarzenegger has been living his best life during lockdown , trying to keep our spirits up as he chills @ @ @ @ @ dog , Cherry , and his donkey – yes , you read that right – @ @ @ @ @ Here he is giving us advice that can be best summed up by the words @ @ @ @ @ But it looks like the former Mr. Universe , who is still in great shape @ @ @ @ @ , has been working on his flexibility .
Arnold Schwarzenegger ’ s coronavirus updates are @ @ @ @ @ dark times

Videos
Arnold Schwarzenegger has been living his best life during lockdown, trying to keep our spirits up as he chills with his pets – his dog, Cherry, and his donkey – yes, you read that right – whose name is Lulu.
Here he is giving us advice that can be best summed up by the words “Be more Lulu.”
I know it’s not easy being home, but we all have to get along. Be like Lulu, not Cherry. Use this time to spread kindness, check in on your family and friends, and of course, no biting. pic.twitter.com/7DfhmYz3lo — Arnold (@Schwarzenegger) March 19, 2020
But it looks like the former Mr. Universe, who is still in great shape at the age of 72, has been working on his flexibility.
Flexibility is as important as the pump. pic.twitter.com/RxO6z7WTQf — Arnold (@Schwarzenegger) May 7, 2020
Jean-Claude Van Damme can rest easy.
READ MORE
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s coronavirus updates are an unexpected bright spot in dark times
Source Arnold Schwarzenegger Image Arnold Schwarzenegger


thepoke--2020-05-13--Prince Charles has been fretting about the cheese industry – 7 Caerphilly chosen responses

It ’ s good to know that the coronavirus is bringing us all a sense of solidarity in the battle @ @ @ @ @ invisible mugger that is holding us all hostage .
Apologies for the criminally mixed metaphor @ @ @ @ @ the same worries – or so we thought .
Hmmm .
If only there were @ @ @ @ @ where people could tell the future king what they think of his priorities .
Oh @ @ @ @ @ inevitability , the combination of cheese and royalty led to this .
People just won @ @ @ @ @ .
Prince Charles tested positive for Covid-19 – 13 responses to make one feel better @ @

Twitter
It’s good to know that the coronavirus is bringing us all a sense of solidarity in the battle to stay alert to the invisible mugger that is holding us all hostage. Apologies for the criminally mixed metaphor.
Even the Royals have the same worries – or so we thought.
The Prince of Wales says it is "deeply troubling" the #coronavirus pandemic could risk destroying British cheese https://t.co/jwbFVfqT7S — SkyNews (@SkyNews) May 11, 2020
Hmmm. If only there were some kind of public forum where people could tell the future king what they think of his priorities. Oh …
1.
Prince Charles’ brother: *is wanted for questioning by the FBI over his relationship with a convicted sex offender* Prince Charles: Cheese: *is in danger* Prince Charles: “THIS IS VERY FUCKING TROUBLING INDEED.” https://t.co/pf7jKzvOAY — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) May 11, 2020
2.
More than 50k plebs dead, but it's the fucking cheese that they're worried about. https://t.co/GkOQR6zUP3 — WG Saraband 🏴🇵🇹🏳🌈 (@wgsaraband) May 11, 2020
3.
4.
5.
6.
Worrying about the state of your effin' cheese during a global pandemic is not a Gouda look https://t.co/RFwKKREA9o — Ciarán MacAirt (@ciaranmacairt) May 12, 2020
7.
With a sort of inevitability, the combination of cheese and royalty led to this.
Maybe his brother could recommend which cheese Pizza Express use. — Ali Tayyab 💙 (@AliTayyabComedy) May 11, 2020
People just won’t let it brie.
READ MORE
Prince Charles tested positive for Covid-19 – 13 responses to make one feel better about oneself
Source Sky News Image The Royal Family Channel, @alanaharris on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-05-12--This woman’s boyfriend keeps getting into fights with a cook at the Waffle House and it’s a wild rid

This woman’s boyfriend keeps getting into fights with a cook at the Waffle House and it’s a wild ride

This woman ’ s tale of her boyfriend who keeps getting into fights with a cook at the Waffle House @ @ @ @ @ because it ’ s such an amazing tale .
Lots of people had theories about @ @ @ @ @ on here but before we get to that , here ’ s the story shared @ @ @ @ @ originally posted on r/relationships on Reddit .
‘ Folks , I can not describe how @ @ @ @ @ read this r/relationships post .
It ’ s an absolute Hall of Famer , ’ @ @ @ @ @ ( 29F ) Boyfriend ( 29M ) keeps getting into fights with a cook at @ @ @ @ @ are our favourite things people ( including @ JakeMHS ) said about it .
And @ @ @ @ @ woman ’ s story of her boyfriend ’ s ‘ unusual ’ relationship with his @ @ @ @ @ to terrifying

Weird World
This woman’s tale of her boyfriend who keeps getting into fights with a cook at the Waffle House went wildly viral on Twitter because it’s such an amazing tale.
Lots of people had theories about what’s really going on here but before we get to that, here’s the story shared by @JakeMHS which was originally posted on r/relationships on Reddit.
‘Folks, I cannot describe how important it is that you read this r/relationships post. It’s an absolute Hall of Famer,’ he said. ‘My (29F) Boyfriend (29M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Waffle House.’
And here are our favourite things people (including @JakeMHS) said about it.
I desperately want to be there when he returns and the cook serves him a series of increasingly absurd egg mistakes. A pickled egg. A Cadbury Creme egg. A pair of L’eggs pantyhose. — Josh Brockman (@jwbrockman) May 12, 2020
I am imagining Waffle House Guy in his secret lab devising more ways to make this guy's eggs wrong — This Jake Are Sick (@JakeMHS) May 12, 2020
What boggles me is the Waffle House hasn't banned him yet. Like, we all know Waffle House is a liminal space where the laws of man and god are a mere suggestion, but they don't need his money *that* badly… I can only imagine that this has become a THING for the cook. — Sam Leader Standing By (@RvengefuLobster) May 12, 2020
It's the weekend baby. You know what that means. It's time to go to Waffle House and get in a fight with My Enemy, The Cook — This Jake Are Sick (@JakeMHS) May 12, 2020
I have never seen a phrase more breathtaking than 'Except at Waffle House.' — Lau R. Griffin (@TheGreatSurf) May 12, 2020
Picturing the cook carefully tending to a small pot of hollandaise just in case runny egg guy comes in and I’m dying — In these difficult times… (@kevinsmurray) May 12, 2020
I’m an irreligious heathen, but I will pray to ANY AND EVERY possible God, that the cook finds out where they’re moving and gets transferred to the nearest Waffle House. — tdjukic (@tdjukic) May 12, 2020
I did not except to begin laughing audibly on the second image and continue long after reading the entire story HOW CAN SHE SEPARATE THESE TWO? THEY'RE SOULMATES! — Public Universal Horse Girl (@jelenawoehr) May 12, 2020
I love both the cook and the boyfriend in this story. I am both of them. — Verdant Dude (@VerdantDude) May 12, 2020
Inside all of us, we have two dudes fighting in a Waffle House, one a chef, one a boyfriend. The one who wins is the one we egg on. — J S (@JSnodgers) May 12, 2020
And he later did this.
I'm awake now and can't believe this blew up. Please take my poll. Is the cook: — This Jake Are Sick (@JakeMHS) May 12, 2020
Wow pic.twitter.com/qmCcP4p0JL — This Jake Are Sick (@JakeMHS) May 12, 2020
READ MORE
This woman’s story of her boyfriend’s ‘unusual’ relationship with his teddy bear goes from funny to terrifying
Source @JakeMHS


thepoke--2020-05-12--5 pitch perfect responses to Bryan Adam’s ‘bat-eating, virus making’ Covid-19 rant

Spare a thought , if you will , in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic for poor little Bryan Adams @ @ @ @ @ to cancel a run of shows at the Royal Albert Hall because everyone ’ s @ @ @ @ @ dying .
Bryan ’ s not happy , he ’ s not happy at all @ @ @ @ @ because he had a rant about it on Instagram .
Our favourite part is the @ @ @ @ @ bit before he remembers to mention all the people who have died .
There were @ @ @ @ @ and we reckon these ones are the best .
Still , he ’ s got @ @ @ @ @ ’ re sure she ’ s got all his records .
When Bryan Adams intervened @ @ @ @ @ whatever that was )

News
Spare a thought, if you will, in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic for poor little Bryan Adams, who’s had to cancel a run of shows at the Royal Albert Hall because everyone’s busy trying to stop people dying.
Bryan’s not happy, not happy at all, and we know this because he had a rant about it on Instagram.
Specifically, he took aim at the ‘bat eating, wet market animal selling, virus making greedy bastards’ he holds responsible.
Our favourite part is the ‘not to mention’ bit before he remembers to mention all the people who have died.
‘Tonight was supposed to be the beginning of a tenancy of gigs at the @royalalberthall, but thanks to some fucking bat eating, wet market animal selling, virus making greedy bastards, the whole world is now on hold, not to mention the thousands that have suffered or died from this virus. My message to them other than ‘thanks a fucking lot’ is go vegan.’
Anyway, there were lots of entirely on-point replies and we reckon these ones are up there with the best.
https://twitter.com/bornmiserable/status/1260045153374359553?s=20
anybody have ‘bryan adams racist meltdown’ in the 2020-is-a-hot-mess pool pic.twitter.com/RiF5Ca1ErC — rax king-lalli-music (@RaxKingIsDead) May 12, 2020
I’ve forgotten which one is Bryan Adams and which one is Ryan Adams and I’m not going to learn it again — pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) May 12, 2020
So what you're saying, if I understand correctly, is that all of this has really inconvenienced Bryan Adams? Well, I'm sure all the sick and dying common folks around the world will sympathise with you, for your loss. The struggle is real. For Bryan Adams. — Barney Panofsky's Best Intentions (@mynamesnotgordy) May 12, 2020
I am so mad at Bryan Adams for his racist dumb comment that I went in my attic, found an old pair of Bugle Boy jeans from 1985, got his cassette from a pocket, and threw it out. — Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) May 12, 2020
Oh, and this!
This has actually improved China's human rights record. pic.twitter.com/7ywHBJHYya — Louis Barfe (@AlanKelloggs) May 12, 2020
Still, he’s got one fan though.
“thanks to some f–king bat eating, wet market animal selling, virus making greedy bastards, the whole world is now on hold, not to mention the thousands that have suffered or died from this virus” Bryan Adams. What a legend. #BryanAdams #COVID19 pic.twitter.com/DGuliGak09 — Katie Hopkins (@KTHopkins) May 12, 2020
We’re sure she’s got all his records.
READ MORE
When Bryan Adams intervened in the Brexit debate (whatever that was)


thepoke--2020-05-12--This American lockdown protest against gyms being closed was the ultimate self-own

We ’ ve been known to go to the gym every now and again and we can imagine it would @ @ @ @ @ ’ re into that sort of thing and it ’ s closed because of lockdown @ @ @ @ @ bunnies took their protest to the streets .
Specifically , the street outside their gym @ @ @ @ @ by doing exercises .
To show how evercised they were , obviously .
And as @ @ @ @ @ , it was the ultimate self-own .
We also liked this ( because it would @ @ @ @ @ Trump had a meltdown after he was challenged by two women reporters – only 5 @ @ @

Twitter
We’ve been known to go to the gym every now and again and we can imagine it would be mildly frustrating if you’re into that sort of thing and it’s closed because of lockdown.
But lockdown’s a lockdown, right?
Except these American gym bunnies took their protest to the streets. Specifically, the street outside their gym where they demonstrated exactly how exercised they are about the whole thing by … doing exercises.
Protesters calling for gyms to reopen do squats, push-ups outside Clearwater courthouse https://t.co/If5c9EQZMV pic.twitter.com/xAXkrPneM2 — WFLA NEWS (@WFLA) May 11, 2020
And as lots of people pointed out, it was the ultimate self-own.
IF YOU CAN DO SQUATS AND PUSH UPS ON THE SIDEWALK, YOU CAN DO THEM IN YOUR LIVING ROOM AND DON’T NEED TO BE AT THE GYM, YOU ABSOLUTE DING DONGS. — Summer Sandiego (@summerasana) May 11, 2020
Protestors call for gyms to reopen by… proving they don’t need gyms? — Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) May 11, 2020
"Here is why I am protesting. Now, watch me destroy my own argument while I do this squat on the sidewalk"#COVIDIOTS — Lou (@ldemarinis) May 11, 2020
So, they’re doing squats & push-ups outside of the courthouse…they’re just proving that they don’t need a gym to exercise. #COVIDIOTS — Jodie Moss (@JodieMoss76) May 11, 2020
We also liked this (because it would be us).
And just like the gym normally, half the people are standing around doing nothing. — Eddie B (@EMB922) May 11, 2020
In other news …
here’s a photo of me protesting coffee shops being closed by brewing my own cup and saving myself five bucks pic.twitter.com/Hl0mN1irwu — Jorge Ribas (@jribas) May 11, 2020
READ MORE
Donald Trump had a meltdown after he was challenged by two women reporters – only 5 responses you need
H/T Indy100


thepoke--2020-05-12--The BBC’s Andrew Cotter commentating on a penguin race is the content we all need today

If you don ’ t follow @ MrAndrewCotter already then you really should .
He ’ s the sports commentator @ @ @ @ @ his two dogs messing around in the woods and taking part in an ‘ online @ @ @ @ @ kind of thing .
But he doesn ’ t just do dogs , it turns @ @ @ @ @ has also lent his voice to the fairy penguins of Phillip Island in a tie-up @ @ @ @ @ and Visit Victoria in Australia .
Here ’ s what Cotter said in the Guardian @ @ @ @ @ about the penguins of Phillip Island before this and have visited Melbourne and the Great @ @ @ @ @ every year for the past 15 years .
I love it all down there so @ @ @ @ @ ’ The BBC ’ s Andrew Cotter had an ‘ online meeting ’ with his @ @ @ @ @ glorious

Videos
If you don’t follow @MrAndrewCotter already then you really should.
He’s the sports commentator who shares brilliant commentaries about his two dogs messing around in the woods and taking part in an ‘online company meeting’, that kind of thing.
But he doesn’t just do dogs, it turns out. The great man has also lent his voice to the fairy penguins of Phillip Island in a tie-up with Phillip Island Nature Parks and Visit Victoria in Australia.
And it’s a real treat.
Here’s what Cotter said in the Guardian.
‘I knew all about the penguins of Phillip Island before this and have visited Melbourne and the Great Ocean Road or Mornington Peninsula every year for the past 15 years. I love it all down there so this was a natural fit.’
Follow @MrAndrewCotter here!
READ MORE
The BBC’s Andrew Cotter had an ‘online meeting’ with his dogs and it’s glorious
Source Guardian Image Andrew Cotter


thepoke--2020-05-12--The BBC’s Andrew Cotter had an ‘online meeting’ with his dogs and it’s glorious

You ’ ll probably already know the BBC ’ s Andrew Cotter .
He ’ s the sports commentator who @ @ @ @ @ with his brilliant commentaries about his two lovely dogs .
Now he ’ s done @ @ @ @ @ ’ and it might be his best thing yet .
And just in case you @ @ @ @ @ want to enjoy them again ) here are some he made earlier .
And you @ @ @ @ @ Twitter here .
Commentator Nick Heath ’ s got no live sport so he ’ @ @ @ @ @ and it ’ s brilliant

Pics
You’ll probably already know the BBC’s Andrew Cotter. He’s the sports commentator who’s been entertaining everyone with his brilliant commentaries about his two lovely dogs.
Now he’s done a ‘company meeting online’ and it might be his best thing yet.
Still having the company meetings online. pic.twitter.com/aR3LfuSdKl — Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) May 11, 2020
Brilliant.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You just raised the game — Graham Love (@glove931) May 11, 2020
Glad to see Mabel and Olive getting valuable feedback and their contribution being recognised during these difficult times. *typing through tears of laughter. — Mhairi Wild (@mhairiwild) May 11, 2020
Living for these 💕🙌 — IVF = I 'm V ery un F ortunate🤞💉 (@m_ivf) May 11, 2020
And just in case you missed them (or you want to enjoy them again) here are some he made earlier.
Just while I wait for them to have an actual rematch. pic.twitter.com/yVsaXD9bNS — Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) April 29, 2020
Some sports are slower. More about the strategy. pic.twitter.com/JMBaGJ1tSd — Andrew Cotter (@MrAndrewCotter) April 9, 2020
And you can follow @MrAndrewCotter on Twitter here.
READ MORE
Commentator Nick Heath’s got no live sport so he’s commentating on everyday life and it’s brilliant
Source @MrAndrewCotter


thepoke--2020-05-12--Our 18 favourite jokes about all this *gestures at the news*

We hope everybody ’ s got their head around the updated Covid-19 strategy now , or at least has an @ @ @ @ @ an old whack-a-mole set in the cupboard under the stairs .
If not , there @ @ @ @ @ two among these funny tweets .

Twitter
We hope everybody’s got their head around the updated Covid-19 strategy now, or at least has an abundance of common sense and an old whack-a-mole set in the cupboard under the stairs.
If not, there may be a tip or two among these funny tweets.
1.
You have to leave the park if you recognise someone when you go there?? — Louis Theroux (@louistheroux) May 11, 2020
2.
I’ve worked out how to see my sons again – I’m going to employ them as my cleaners. — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) May 11, 2020
3.
The only thing I’ve learned from working at home is that the people who clean the restrooms at the office really earn their keep. — Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) May 10, 2020
4.
well yeah if it gets that fucking big pic.twitter.com/cwa54SlJjY — jon ronson (@jonronson) May 10, 2020
5.
For clarity the govt has introduced a new colour coded uniform system. Wear blue/black if you’ve tested positive for covid, white/gold if your test results are negative. Apart from Tuesdays, when the opposite applies. Unless you’re not unable to work from home. Simple. #StayAlert pic.twitter.com/6L13CkzgQe — christhebarker (@christhebarker) May 11, 2020
6.
So you can go to a park, meet people without touching so just look at them from at least 2 metres apart? Are we sure these are the official COVID-19 restrictions or just advice from the local dogging spot? — CJ de Mooi (@cjdemooi) May 11, 2020
7.
Boris's Feng Shui Tips
No.1: Always sit in a doorway facing the back of your desk. #thanksboris #stayingalert pic.twitter.com/UmmrbPSHzb — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) May 11, 2020
8.
The British public has to stop it with the gotcha questions. It has behaved disgracefully at these press briefings. When this is over there will be a reckoning for the British public. — robert shrimsley (@robertshrimsley) May 11, 2020
9.


thepoke--2020-05-12--Lord Sugar took aim at Andrew ‘it’s all about you’ Neil on Twitter and it didn’t end well

Twitter feud of the day surely belongs to Lord Sugar and Andrew Neil , although how it came to this @ @ @ @ @ to work it out .
It began when the Apprentice man took aim at his @ @ @ @ @ who ’ s having a bit of trouble getting cabinet ministers to come on Good @ @ @ @ @ when Andrew Neil noticed that he ’ d been mentioned , and thought he ’ @ @ @ @ @ reply .
Very possibly he should have done .
We think that counts as a @ @ @ @ @ ’ s rather good at this sort of thing , of course .
Here he @ @ @ @ @ And Mark Francois ( whatever happened to him ? )
It was handbags at 10 @ @ @ @ @ Piers Morgan over the UK coronavirus response

Twitter
Twitter feud of the day surely belongs to Lord Sugar and Andrew Neil, although how it came to this we’re still trying to work it out.
It began when the Apprentice man took aim at his old nemesis Piers Morgan, who’s having a bit of trouble getting cabinet ministers to come on Good Morning Britain.
RT: @piersmorgan I understand you’re doing TV interviews tomorrow morning @DominicRaab but refusing to do @GMB. I didn’t have you down as spineless……HE IS NOT SPINELESS. WHY WOULD ANY ONE COME ON @GMB TO HAVE YOU WITH A SCRIPT TO SLAG THEM OFF UNFAIRLY. GOOD DECISION OF HIS. — Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) May 10, 2020
Not offence Lord Sugar, you not even living in this country, so really u have no say! Maybe as a lord you should use your power to put to some good, as Boris has just proven yet again how incompetent he and this government is! — Sonia Zanutto (@SoniaZanutto1) May 10, 2020
Why has Boris proven he is incompetent. EXPLAIN. You know someone once told me (and it's true) if you say something for long enough you start to believe it. Stop listening to @piersmorgan and @afneil they are all about themselves. https://t.co/A8rAVmgTaT — Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) May 11, 2020
Which is when Andrew Neil noticed that he’d been mentioned, and thought he’d exercise his right of reply.
Since start of crisis I’ve never opined on Johnson being incompetent or competent. Just dealt with facts, a concept to which Wee Shuggie would seem to be a stranger. For man who insists he’s always addressed as “Lord Sugar” to say I’m narcissistic takes irony to new level. https://t.co/3tGQsn8fZj — Andrew Neil (@afneil) May 11, 2020
And Lord Sugar wasn’t letting it lie.
I understand it's hard for you as someone who likes to grille people and generally try to make them look stupid. So that when someone like me calls you out for what you are you take offence. Now you know what
It is like. I am not intimidated by you. It's all about you. https://t.co/0BWZIyikV2 — Lord Sugar (@Lord_Sugar) May 12, 2020
Very possibly he should have done.
No offence taken, “Lord” Shuggie.
It’s not my show that makes people look stupid. It’s yours. You also like to intimidate your guests.
I have no interest in intimidation.
But education important. In that spirit ..
It’s ‘grill’.
And no need for cap I after what.
You’re welcome. https://t.co/NE9yDTsuUA — Andrew Neil (@afneil) May 12, 2020
We think that counts as a technical knockout.
Andrew Neil’s rather good at this sort of thing, of course. Here he is owning Boris Johnson.
"Do you know what's in paragraph 5c?" "No" @AfNeil challenges Boris Johnson on the detail of how the UK would trade with the EU after #Brexit The Andrew Neil Interviews: Watch in full at 7pm on @BBCOne #BBCOurNextPM [tap to expand] https://t.co/Vi5EqKlFAg pic.twitter.com/wEl81N4maG — BBC Politics (@BBCPolitics) July 12, 2019
And Liz Truss.
The chef’s kiss on this. @afneil to Liz Truss: In 2014 you promised to build 200,000 new starter homes. That was 5 years ago. How many did you build?”
Liz Truss: “I don’t have the figures.”
AN: “it’s an easy number to remember, ZERO, you built ZERO new starter homes.” pic.twitter.com/rPz6HuK8Zs — William Kedjanyi (@KeejayOV2) November 21, 2019
And Mark Francois (whatever happened to him?)
Are you hallucinating? Classic @afneil moment as Mark Francois compares breaching Labour red wall to Berlin 1989 pic.twitter.com/573TajEr94 — Alex Barker (@alexebarker) December 12, 2019
And Boris Johnson again.
“It is not too late. We have an interview prepared. Oven-ready, as Mr Johnson likes to say” Andrew Neil issues a challenge for Boris Johnson to commit to an interview with him, to face questions on why people have “deemed him to be untrustworthy”https://t.co/daHLxEYn4r pic.twitter.com/oQ21uDdtJe — BBC Politics (@BBCPolitics) December 5, 2019
READ MORE
It was handbags at 10 paces for Lord Sugar and Piers Morgan over the UK coronavirus response
Images BBC


thepoke--2020-05-12--A teacher annotated Boris Johnson’s confusing Covid-19 graphic and it’s brilliant

You ’ ll know by now that the government ’ s new Covid-19 guidelines have been criticised as everything from ever so slightly confusing to utterly baffling .
The stream of nonsensical graphics being put out by the government hasn ’ t helped , including this one .
Now a teacher has done a fantastic job of annotating it and it ’ s very funny and totally spot-on .
You ’ ll probably have to zoom in to properly enjoy it , but here are a few highlights .
‘ We all love the NHS but they are not relevant @ @ @ @ @ @ @ so including their logo won ’ t help you to gain extra marks ’ ‘ x axis needs labelling .
Is it showing time ?
Can you include a linear scale ?
What are your units – days , months , years or decades ?
’ ‘ Evaluation – not attempted .
Is there anything you could have done differently that could possibly have reduced the steepness of the curve ?
’ ‘ Can you provide a date on which R became equal to 1 ?
If not maybe it would be better @ @ @ @ @ @ @ … ’ ‘ What Went Well : The graph makes better use of contrasting colours than the one submitted on 28th April that used various shades of blue ’ And finally , the overall teacher assessment .
And just in case you were still confused , doctor turned author and comedian Adam Kay was here to help .
10 reasons why “ good British common sense ” might not be the best Covid-19 strategy

News
You’ll know by now that the government’s new Covid-19 guidelines have been criticised as everything from ever so slightly confusing to utterly baffling.
The stream of nonsensical graphics being put out by the government hasn’t helped, including this one.
Now a teacher has done a fantastic job of annotating it and it’s very funny and totally spot-on.
‘From schoolteacher friend,’ wrote @trishgreenhalgh on Twitter.
You’ll probably have to zoom in to properly enjoy it, but here are a few highlights.
‘Title: All graphs must include a title’ ‘We all love the NHS but they are not relevant to the data included in your chart so including their logo won’t help you to gain extra marks’ ‘x axis needs labelling. Is it showing time? Can you include a linear scale? What are your units – days, months, years or decades?’ ‘You could include a key’ ‘y axis needs labelling …’ ‘Evaluation – not attempted. Is there anything you could have done differently that could possibly have reduced the steepness of the curve?’ ‘Can you provide a date on which R became equal to 1? If not maybe it would be better to utilise a more easily quantifiable number …’ ‘What Went Well: The graph makes better use of contrasting colours than the one submitted on 28th April that used various shades of blue’
And finally, the overall teacher assessment.
‘This work falls well below the standards required to meet your target grade. This is becoming a recurring theme of my feedback to you.’
Beautifully done.
And just in case you were still confused, doctor turned author and comedian Adam Kay was here to help.
OK, for clarity. The R0 is somewhere in the range of 0.5-0.9 and the number of infections with COVID-19 in the UK is 219,183. So the COVID Alert Level is somewhere between 219,183.5 and 219,183.9. pic.twitter.com/bhRZwCjg2f — Adam Kay (@amateuradam) May 10, 2020
READ MORE
10 reasons why “good British common sense” might not be the best Covid-19 strategy
Source @trishgreenhalgh


thepoke--2020-05-14--Will you admit to any of these 17 universal behaviours?

There are some things we all do , but nobody talks about – or hardly anyone .
The good folk @ @ @ @ @ a bunch of them in rare public admissions , and we ’ ve picked our @ @

Pics
There are some things we all do, but nobody talks about – or hardly anyone.
The good folk over at BuzzFeed tracked down a bunch of them in rare public admissions, and we’ve picked our favourites.
1.
Via
2.
Y’all ever try to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so bystanders don’t hear you fighting for your life — Deyoncé (@deelalz) April 3, 2019
3.
i should get in the shower *2 hours later someone else starts the shower* me: oh my god fuck you i was JUST about to get in there — Sarcasm (@Heissarcastic) May 15, 2015
4.
Via
5.
Via
6.
Via
7.
Via
8.
Via
9.
Via


thepoke--2020-05-14--This self-isolating woman’s dad turned himself into the Just Eat app and people love it

As precisely nobody needs reminding , we live in challenging times right now and every little glimmer of light helps @ @ @ @ @ they really loved – what this dad did to cheer up his self-isolating daughter .
@ @ @ @ @ is exactly what I deserve .
Dad has turned into the just-eat app , ’ @ @ @ @ @ Twitter .
And just when it couldn ’ t possibly get any better … Simply @ @ @ @ @ to take your mind off coronavirus for a moment or two

Pics
As precisely nobody needs reminding, we live in challenging times right now and every little glimmer of light helps. And people loved – they really loved – what this dad did to cheer up his self-isolating daughter.
‘Maybe this self-isolation craic is exactly what I deserve. Dad has turned into the just-eat app,’ wrote @sherlyroo over on Twitter.
Brilliant!
This is so sweet 😭 — Megan (@mmegannnolan) May 12, 2020
I could be wrong on the exact place but I think he might have the sixth most Dadliest 'Dad profile photo' as well too. Definetely top 10. — Colm O'Regan preorder new novel now! (@colmoregan) May 12, 2020
Oh stop… my dad used to go to the shop when I was sick (very hungover) and get me 7up to make me better & it always did. I would love to live within 5k now of my parents.. — Is Mise Aine (@mise_aine) May 12, 2020
And just when it couldn’t possibly get any better …
We have no choice but to bow to the master. ^EM — Just Eat UK (@JustEatUK) May 12, 2020
Simply 27 brilliantly groansome dad jokes to take your mind off coronavirus for a moment or two
Source @sherlyroo


thepoke--2020-05-14--Monty Don’s beloved dog Nigel has died and this is such a funny and heartwarming clip

As you may have read this week , Monty Don ’ s beloved golden retriever Nigel has died after a @ @ @ @ @ ’ World posted their favourite clip of presenter and his dog and it ’ s @ @ @ @ @ moment .

Videos
As you may have read this week, Monty Don’s beloved golden retriever Nigel has died after a sudden illness.
“To the end he was happy, healthy and his usual calm, lovely self,” the presenter wrote on Instagram. “He slipped quietly away with no pain or suffering and is now buried in the garden with lots of tennis balls.”
And Gardeners’ World posted their favourite clip of presenter and his dog and it’s such a funny and heartwarming moment.
As you may have heard on @BBCr4today, Nigel often stole the show when we were filming with Monty at Longmeadow. Here's one of our favourite clips from a couple of years ago 🐾 #GardenersWorld #RIPNigel pic.twitter.com/E8h5qkbtXX — BBC Gardeners World (@GWandShows) May 13, 2020
Wonderful!
This whole sad sad loss of Nigel has me in floods… how Monty must be feeling I can’t bear to think. A nation is in mourning with you Monty. — Alexandra Westcott (@MissAMWestcott) May 13, 2020
Beautiful Anyone that says "It's a dog you will get another" obviously has never had a dog, each of them are irreplaceable individuals that enrich our life. — Sue L (@brambs) May 13, 2020
Didn’t we all just love Nigel 😢 — Anne (@guernseyanne) May 13, 2020
Source @GWandShows


thepoke--2020-05-14--‘This is what every single day of 2020 has felt like’

If you only watch one funny cat video this week … And it ’ s fair to say people enjoyed @ @ @ @ @ s the original , on TikTok .
This kitten really wants to scare its owner @ @ @ @ @ funny and totally adorable

Videos
If you only watch one funny cat video this week …
This is what every single day of 2020 has felt like. pic.twitter.com/Pz3x3CI2OA — ✨Lys ✨ (@WhimsyDesigns) May 6, 2020
And it’s fair to say people enjoyed it.
I AM CRYING — Amber✨ (@amber_amberson) May 6, 2020
I have no mascara left. I can’t breathe. Send help 😂🤣 — ✨Lys ✨ (@WhimsyDesigns) May 6, 2020
It's 3AM here and I've been watching this on a loop for 5 minutes and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. — PinkStylist (@Pink_Stylist) May 8, 2020
And here’s the original, on TikTok.
https://www.tiktok.com/@digieverafter/video/6822676422277074182?u_code=dah80j2fc890ka&preview_pb=0&language=en&_d=dah810h1mda9bf×tamp=1588870066&utm_campaign=client_share&app=musically&utm_medium=ios&user_id=6788149624487019525&tt_from=copy&utm_source=copy&source=h5_m
READ MORE
This kitten really wants to scare its owner and it’s very funny and totally adorable
Source Twitter @WhimsyDesigns


thepoke--2020-05-14--Someone set a fruity trap for an anti-vaxxer – and they strolled right in

The anti-vaxxers have been slightly quieter during the coronavirus pandemic , but that may be because they ’ re too @ @ @ @ @ holding Covid-19 parties to boost their natural immunity .
They ’ re still out there @ @ @ @ @ easy to own as you ’ d probably think .
This exchange from subreddit r/facepalm @ @ @ @ @ Someone named Luke posted this long list of chemicals on Facebook .
An unwitting anti-vaxxer @ @ @ @ @ s trap with this predictable response .
Luke came in for the kill .
And @ @ @ @ @ a day keeps the doctor away ” , so you ’ d think anti-vaxxers would @ @ @ @ @ all know who that someone would be .

Pics
Someone named Luke posted this long list of chemicals on Facebook.
An unwitting anti-vaxxer wandered right into Luke’s trap with this predictable response.
Luke came in for the kill.
And they say “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”, so you’d think anti-vaxxers would love them.
Redditors enjoyed the devastating burn.
Sadly, this prediction seemed feasible.
And we all know who that someone would be.
from Donald Trump GIFs via Gfycat
READ MORE
This anti-vaxxer accidentally advocates vaccines and it’s a glorious self-own
Source r/facepalm Image r/facepalm, @khamkhor on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-05-14--Alasdair Beckett-King presents …Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’ – without the birds

Alasdair Beckett-King is a highly reliable creator of funny content , in case you still have time on your hands @ @ @ @ @ laugh , and his posts are little parcels of joy .
This , for example @ @ @ @ @ Jaws had us roaring with laughter .
Yet again , Alasdair has taken a classic @ @ @ @ @ into something quite different .
We can certainly empathise with someone trying to fight off @ @ @ @ @ it ’ s still very funny – and that Hitchcockian introduction is something quite special @ @ @ @ @ other people had to say about it .
As Alasdair pointed out , the idea @ @ @ @ @ been done before , but not as comedy , so if you have a yen @ @ @ @ @ the birds , you can .
Bonus !
They should show it at the start @ @ @ @ @ Shakespeare ’ s King Lear as you ’ ve never seen it before – in @ @ @ @

Videos
Alasdair Beckett-King is a highly reliable creator of funny content, in case you still have time on your hands during lockdown and need a laugh, and his posts are little parcels of joy.
This, for example …
Just hear me out. What if The Wire had the theme tune from Death In Paradise? pic.twitter.com/WYcbDDVouG — Alasdair Beckett-King (@MisterABK) April 17, 2020
His North-Eastern version of Jaws had us roaring with laughter.
What if Jaws (1975) were set in the North East of England? pic.twitter.com/9tghRTlGBE — Alasdair Beckett-King (@MisterABK) April 3, 2020
Yet again, Alasdair has taken a classic film, and turned it into something quite different.
Good evening. I took the birds out of The Birds (1963). pic.twitter.com/YMQXTT4byj — Alasdair Beckett-King (@MisterABK) May 11, 2020
We can certainly empathise with someone trying to fight off an invisible attacker, but it’s still very funny – and that Hitchcockian introduction is something quite special.
Here’s what other people had to say about it.
Not gonna lie I would love to imagine what Hitchcock’s reaction tho this would be — MattytheAkita (@MattytheDoggo) May 11, 2020
I like this.
So if you scrub the terror inducing protagonist from a horror film (as here, the Birds) The result looks like someone spiked the town water supply with powerful hallucinogenics, and then sent film crew in to document the results. https://t.co/D2xKwyOVjS — Peter Lorimer (@pighilltweets) May 12, 2020
I want to imagine this with the one eyed invisible monster from that one episode of Jonny Quest. https://t.co/lYvX3Z1fti — Todd Dharken (@Todd_Dharken) May 12, 2020
As Alasdair pointed out, the idea of removing the birds had been done before, but not as comedy, so if you have a yen to watch the film without the birds, you can. Bonus!
A couple of people have pointed out that @MartijnHendriks had this idea several years ago, and did (I think?) the entire film – but as art instead of as a joke. I hope I haven't offended him. Or Hitchcock. Or, heaven forbid, the birds themselves.https://t.co/BfdhAAGciF — Alasdair Beckett-King (@MisterABK) May 12, 2020
Finally, Helen Sorren had this observation.
It's like what would happen if you didnt #StayAlert — Helen Sorren (@HelenSorren) May 12, 2020
They should show it at the start of every daily briefing.
READ MORE
Shakespeare’s King Lear as you’ve never seen it before – in less than a minute
Source Alasdair Beckett-King Image Universal Pictures via Alasdair Beckett-King


thepoke--2020-05-14--This 12-egg cake got the internet boiling mad – and rightly so

A picture of a 12-egg cake has been liked over 180,000 times in two days , as well as whipping @ @ @ @ @ Take a look for yourself .
Well , then .
We ’ ll leave it @ @ @ @ @ the arguments .
And in the blue corner … The ‘ againsts ’ heavily outweighed @ @ @ @ @ but there was one important question for those who liked the look of it .
@ @ @ @ @ and a block of Cheddar form the recipe nobody asked for

Pics
A picture of a 12-egg cake has been liked over 180,000 times in two days, as well as whipping up some fierce debate.
Take a look for yourself.
i made a cake !!!
the ingredients were:
12 eggs !! pic.twitter.com/VmxIDWShUI — hinata shoyo loves you! (@shoyoslove) May 11, 2020
Well, then. We’ll leave it up to Twitter to put the arguments.
In the red corner …
Omg teach me your ways sensei this is art 🤤 — •°jιѕнι°• (@kakuwiiishi) May 12, 2020
Eggcelent — Michelle ❤💚💙💜 (@MichelleMcNeaI) May 12, 2020
And in the blue corner …
I’m calling the police https://t.co/nJDWgeli16 — I Hate It Here… Still (@TshaChante) May 13, 2020
You ruined my day at 11:37AM. https://t.co/SJUxNLEo9j — Prince Vegeta (@Presh_Frince) May 13, 2020
Disgusting. Get out of here https://t.co/VxhsCb15y6 — p for poppinton (@_whothiss) May 12, 2020
I am so angry https://t.co/2037TrBiYR — Laura Stahl the Gnome 🍄 (@laura_stahl) May 13, 2020
The ‘againsts’ heavily outweighed the ‘fors’, but there was one important question for those who liked the look of it.
Can you link the recipe pic.twitter.com/UcSLx6fKeh — C.kret🍣 (@Top_Ckret) May 12, 2020
READ MORE
Turkey, Flaming Hot Cheetos and a block of Cheddar form the recipe nobody asked for
Source @shoyoslove Image @shoyoslove BBC


thepoke--2020-05-14--Someone invented an anti-coronavirus mask with a hole for a straw – 12 scathing takedowns

If you thought anti-lockdown rallies and doing the conga during a pandemic were stupid , wait till you see this @ @ @ @ @ 30 each , they ’ re the embodiment of that old saying “ A fool @ @ @ @ @ parted.
” , – other-gendered fools are available .
These were our favourite of the @ @ @ @ @ s deputy PM failing to put a mask on is here to make all our @ @ @ @ @ York Post Image New York Post , @ quinoAI on Unsplash

Twitter
If you thought anti-lockdown rallies and doing the conga during a pandemic were stupid, wait till you see this handy invention.
These face masks come with a straw hole for sipping cocktails https://t.co/bAx4r6ydwx pic.twitter.com/WtGmn7zNio — New York Post (@nypost) May 12, 2020
At $30 each, they’re the embodiment of that old saying “A fool and his money are soon parted.”, – other-gendered fools are available.
These were our favourite of the many takedowns.
1.
From the makers of the Death Star — James Felton (@JimMFelton) May 13, 2020
2.
these condoms come with a hole to pee through https://t.co/WjcDPnZAE0 — David Mack (@davidmackau) May 13, 2020
3.
“These bulletproof vests come with a hole to stop your tits sweating.” https://t.co/kL2H3lXyIS — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) May 13, 2020
4.
This parachute comes with speed holes https://t.co/bMlhYkVTOJ — Zeddy (@Zeddary) May 13, 2020
5.
coronavirus like 'steady on boys, that one's for drinkin. show some respect' https://t.co/u7O3jf8924 — Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) May 13, 2020
6.
I see the designers of every single female character's body armour from video games are making masks now. https://t.co/ai6azXxOaT — Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) May 13, 2020
7.
Everything is getting stupid https://t.co/Kmp02n30ng — Arielle Castillo (@ariellec) May 12, 2020
8.
I don’t know why you’re all making fun of this, obviously the virus knows it’s a cocktail straw hole and not a virus hole, they will have made it clear https://t.co/h7cgYLLJqk — Erica Buist (@ericabuist) May 13, 2020
9.
But if the mask has a hole in it then—you know what, never mind. Enjoy. https://t.co/qPyiTq3i6g — Dylan (@dyllyp) May 12, 2020
10.
Did the virus make this mask https://t.co/XhZV4wgI5f — Alisha Rai (@AlishaRai) May 13, 2020
11.
This car has wireless seatbelts https://t.co/x8FJQZ6e7v — Ryan Benk (@_RyanBenk) May 13, 2020
12.
amazing they can use the same hole for your ventilator 2 weeks later https://t.co/y8wVlzF6oL — Matt Blakemore (@MattBlakemore) May 13, 2020
To sum up:
Humanity was a mistake. — AsherWare (@WareAsher) May 12, 2020
READ MORE
Belgium’s deputy PM failing to put a mask on is here to make all our lockdown lives better
Source New York Post Image New York Post, @quinoAI on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-05-13--Simply 27 very funny socially distanced TV shows and films

People have been sharing suggested titles for socially distanced films and TV shows and very funny they are too .
@ @ @ @ @ ideas … … and coincidentally the great Richard Osman did this .
Here are our @ @ @ @ @ Can ’ t wait to watch them .

Twitter
People have been sharing suggested titles for socially distanced TV shows and films and very funny they are too.
We asked you for your ideas …
The government is letting film and TV production begin again, so send us your socially distanced films and TV shows. Here’s one for starters … #pokechallenge pic.twitter.com/qB1np1YUU3 — The Poke (@ThePoke) May 12, 2020
… and coincidentally the great Richard Osman did too.
Now that we're allowed to think about making TV again, I am going to pitch the following shows… Don't Take Me Out
Queue I
Lonely Connect
Farther Ted
Changing Zooms
The VERY Hairy Bikers Any other ideas? Obviously 'Not Going Out' and 'Spaced' are still allowed. — Richard Osman (@richardosman) May 13, 2020
So here’s our pick of the bunch. Can’t wait to watch them.
1.
Homes where Everyone’s Hammered — barry kimber (@bar227) May 13, 2020
2.
Lockdownton Abbey — Jonathon Bright (@jb_1969) May 13, 2020
3.
Pintless — Lee Noble (@ThisLeeNoble) May 13, 2020
4.
Have I Got Queues For You — Steve Doherty (@SteveDoherty1) May 13, 2020
5.
The 2 metres inbetweeners — Thomas Cogley (@JohnnyPixels) May 13, 2020
6.
Here’s one I made earlier. pic.twitter.com/5QFi40Tuns — Andy Lang (@HRH_Duke_of_Url) May 13, 2020
7.
Better Facetime Saul — Al Bee (@Alb_Ee) May 13, 2020
8.
Open Restricted Hours — Katie Clark (@KatieMowse) May 13, 2020
9.
Blackadder Stays Put — Enrico Salad (@enricosalad) May 13, 2020
10.
The scary White House experience — tim aitken (@timaitken1) May 13, 2020
11.
PPE Longstocking — Kevin Caswell-Jones (@poshkev1963) May 13, 2020
12.
Baking Bad — Joe Gooden 🌹 (@joegooden5) May 13, 2020
13.


thepoke--2020-05-13--It’s fair to say Hugh Grant wasn’t impressed by Matt Hancock’s ‘bonkers’ 12 seconds on This Morning

It feels like confusion ’ s reigned ever since Boris Johnson went on telly on Sunday night to explain the @ @ @ @ @ guidelines .
The occasional government minister have been doing their best to explain what the @ @ @ @ @ let ’ s face it – most have us still don ’ t have a @ @ @ @ @ up better than this 12 seconds from ITV ’ s This Morning , in which @ @ @ @ @ some sense out of health secretary Matt Hancock .
He failed .
And now it @ @ @ @ @ of Hugh Grant who surely spoke for us all when he said this .
And @ @ @ @ @ s reasoning prompted such head shaking ( and swearing ) .
Hugh Grant ’ s @ @ @ @ @ s favourite Boris Johnson takedown right now

Twitter
It feels like confusion’s reigned ever since Boris Johnson went on telly on Sunday night to explain the government’s new Covid-19 guidelines.
The occasional government minister have been doing their best to explain what the hell he meant but – let’s face it – most have us still don’t have a clue.
Nothing sums it up better than this 12 seconds from ITV’s This Morning, in which Phillip Schofield tried to get some sense out of health secretary Matt Hancock. He failed.
‘Can I see my parents ten minutes apart?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Don’t you see that’s utterly bonkers?’ ‘No’#ThisMorning pic.twitter.com/AqR3Mv1ZfI — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) May 12, 2020
And now it’s caught the attention of Hugh Grant who surely spoke for us all when he said this.
And this is why Hancock’s reasoning prompted such head shaking (and swearing).
Since I assume the two parents have been living together, why is it dangerous for me to meet both my parents together? What is the difference between one every 10 mins and both of them together? Do they somehow become more infectious if they are together? This is daft. — MargaretGeorgiadou aka GangstaGran (@madgie1941) May 12, 2020
What difference does 10 minutes make?
Will the virus go, “oh, they are finished chatting now, I’ll go somewhere else now!”, and when it’s wandered off, you can visit the other parent cos you tricked the virus?! — Jo Wiley (@Mudflap20) May 12, 2020
You give the first one the virus, then ten minutes later, you give it to the other. Just NOT at the same time! — mark james adams (@tumblingdwarf) May 12, 2020
READ MORE
Hugh Grant’s NSFW rant is everyone’s favourite Boris Johnson takedown right now
Source @TobyonTV @HackedOffHugh H/T Indy100


‘Highest order burn’

In the latest in an occasional series , anti-vaxxer takedown of the week , comes this .
Except they didn @ @ @ @ @ .
Gold medal winner .

Weird World
In the latest in an occasional series, anti-vaxxer takedown of the week, comes this.
Didn’t help them see that coming, though. Gold medal winner.
READ MORE
‘Ancient Facepalm’
Source Reddit u/__Dawn__Amber__


‘Ancient Facepalm’

‘ Ancient facepalm , ’ says u/That_Bird101 over on Reddit and they ’ re not kidding , they ’ re @ @ @ @ @ some of the things people were saying about it .
‘ Read more about this @ @ @ @ @ to do with superstition , about not meddling with water spirits for fear of misfortune.
@ @ @ @ @ stood no chance of being saved then.
’ ArsenicCape03 ‘ Maybe nobody liked her .
@ @ @ @ @ to save her….but the water spirits and everything….
” ‘ Osiris_Of_This_Shit_ ‘ Holy shit .
@ @ @ @ @ Sunanda Kumariratana ) and her 1 yr old baby daughter Kannabhorn Bejaratana were both allowed @ @ @ @ @ her grief stricken husband erected a statue but did not see that he changed the @ @ @ @ @ should have learnt to swim smh.
’ durpypig17 Facepalm of the day ( not today @ @ @ @

Weird World
‘Ancient facepalm,’ says u/That_Bird101 over on Reddit and they’re not kidding, they’re really not.
And just some of the things people were saying about it.
‘Read more about this: There was also something to do with superstition, about not meddling with water spirits for fear of misfortune.’ pinkguyfriedrice ‘She really stood no chance of being saved then.’ ArsenicCape03 ‘Maybe nobody liked her. “Yeah, we wanted to save her….but the water spirits and everything….”‘
Osiris_Of_This_Shit_ ‘Holy shit. She (19 yr old Sunanda Kumariratana) and her 1 yr old baby daughter Kannabhorn Bejaratana were both allowed to drown. Wikipedia says her grief stricken husband erected a statue but did not see that he changed the law.’ Spacedude50 ‘Bruh should have learnt to swim smh.’ durpypig17
Tough crowd.
READ MORE
Facepalm of the day (not today, another day)
Source Reddit u/That_Bird101


thepoke--2020-05-13--The unexpected twist in this person’s complaint about their pizza delivery still makes us smile

To be filed under ‘ old but gold ’ comes this , the perfect Twitter play in three acts .
@ @ @ @ @ wasn ’ t right and they ’ re very funny and occasionally far too relatable

Weird World
To be filed under ‘old but gold’ comes this, the perfect Twitter play in three acts.
Still makes us smile.
READ MORE
23 times the customer really wasn’t right and they’re very funny and occasionally far too relatable
Source Reddit byu/Random_420-69


thepoke--2020-05-13--This invitation to ‘role play’ didn’t quite go the way either of them expected

Today ’ s episode of ‘ stuff that happens on Tinder ’ comes this , an invitation to ‘ role @ @ @ @ @ t go the way either of them expected .
‘ So I ’ m bad @ @ @ @ @ said u/MikeoftheMechanicus ( nice ) on Reddit .
To be filed under ‘ too good @ @ @ @

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Today’s episode of ‘stuff that happens on Tinder’ comes this, an invitation to ‘role play’ that didn’t go the way either of them expected.
‘So I’m bad at roleplaying I guess…’ said u/MikeoftheMechanicus (nice) on Reddit.
To be filed under ‘too good to check’.
‘As a Dungeon Master I can’t allow that Druid to cast fireball. A Wizard or Warlock definitely. Druid – no way.’ m0rris0n_hotel
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Tinder profile of the week
Source Reddit u/MikeoftheMechanicus


thepoke--2020-05-13--Lockdown laughs: 10 things we’ve learned from nearly two months of quarantine

The UK lockdown has been officially loosened , with many workers squeezing onto packed public transport to follow government instructions @ @ @ @ @ the almost inevitable spike in cases , let ’ s take a look at some @ @ @ @ @ has taught us .
1 .
You don ’ t have to be an expert @ @ @ @ @ 2 .
You might be surprised at the things you miss 3 .
There ’ @ @ @ @ @ that ’ s making people hungrier 4 .
Not everybody is struggling 5 .
Some @ @ @ @ @ for 7 .
We ’ re a little horrified by our old way of life @ @ @ @ @ mess up a perfectly good scam 10 .
Desperation may set in if you ’ @ @ @ @ @ we were being led by idiots but we now have a lot more evidence for @ @ @ @ @ Laughs : 10 things we learned from week 3 in isolation

Twitter
The UK lockdown has been officially loosened, with many workers squeezing onto packed public transport to follow government instructions.
As we nervously await the almost inevitable spike in cases, let’s take a look at some of the things the pandemic has taught us.
1. You don’t have to be an expert to come up with solutions
I know it feels like we're going round in circles, but maybe one good idea is that if everyone agreed to only turn left and never right, then no one would bump into each other's breath? #StayAlert — Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) May 11, 2020
2. You might be surprised at the things you miss
I really miss saying "I think i left my false teeth in the pub again" — Joe Wilkinson (@gillinghamjoe) May 11, 2020
3. There’s something about the crisis that’s making people hungrier
is it even possible that I, a literal human gazelle, so delicate and agile, could have eaten 3/4 OF A LOAF OF BREAD IN ONE SITTING PUT THAT ON DAVID ATTENBOROUGH U COWARDS — Sarah Phelps (@PhelpsieSarah) May 12, 2020
4. Not everybody is struggling
What seems clear during lockdown that most of my quiz friends were unfazed by the prospect of no meaningful contact with the outside world. We spent years preparing for this. — Paul Sinha (@paulsinha) May 10, 2020
5. Some things really are worth fighting for
*dedicates rest of life to developing a vaccine* pic.twitter.com/V7p2R2p2ry — Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) May 12, 2020
6. Quarantine can be demotivating
Not saying I've become lazy with housework during lockdown but I'm just researching whether house-spiders eat bogies. — Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳🌈 (@craiguito) May 12, 2020
7. We’re a little horrified by our old way of life
Remember when you blew out your birthday candles and could blow all over the cake everyone was about eat… without them thinking you’re trying to kill them.. good times. — Momma G (@TheOnlyMommaG) May 12, 2020
8. People are developing new skills
When this is all over I hope there are lots of job openings for people who can bake bread and put together jigsaw puzzles. — Just Bill (@WilliamAder) May 11, 2020
9. Lockdown can really mess up a perfectly good scam
Shout out to the bravado of the @Hermes driver who shoved a ‘sorry we missed you’ card in our door, without even trying to ring the doorbell, during a goddamn lockdown. That’s some daring shit right there. — Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) May 12, 2020
10. Desperation may set in if you’re not careful
I think the U.K. has reached the stage where we’re all ready for Sam Allardyce to take over. — Francis Foster (@failinghuman) May 12, 2020
Bonus:
We knew we were being led by idiots but we now have a lot more evidence for the official enquiry.
It’s great the kids Boris has said can probably go back to school soon aren’t of an age where they constantly touch their faces and often don’t cover their faces when they cough/sneeze and don’t really understand what 2 metres is and often don’t wash their hands properly and oh — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) May 11, 2020
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Lockdown Laughs: 10 things we learned from week 3 in isolation
Image @thibaultpenin and @vidarnm on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-05-13--This NZ minister’s NSFW slip-up is made even better by the agony of the pause that followed

Here ’ s New Zealand health minister David Clark , delivering an important message about Covid-19 that anyone watching will @ @ @ @ @ the NSFW slip-up , second the agonising pause as the reality of what ’ s @ @ @ @ @ It ’ s the same New Zealand cabinet minister , incidentally , who called himself @ @ @ @ @ and was demoted ) for breaking lockdown rules by driving his family to the beach @ @ @ @ @ getting Jeremy Hunt ’ s name wrong is glorious – and NSFW

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Here’s New Zealand health minister David Clark, delivering an important message about Covid-19 that anyone watching will surely never forget.
This is completely unedited footage of the New Zealand Health Minister. Seriously.
(sound on) pic.twitter.com/73bGeZxCR4 — Tim "Eat My Piss" Batt (@Tim_Batt) May 13, 2020
First the NSFW slip-up, second the agonising pause as the reality of what’s just happened sinks in.
It’s the same New Zealand cabinet minister, incidentally, who called himself an ‘idiot’ (and was demoted) for breaking lockdown rules by driving his family to the beach.
How is that pause for reflection — Guy Montgomery (@guy_mont) May 13, 2020
That's where he decides whether or not he's going to correct himself, but then just decides to go balls to the wall and carry on like nothing happened — L Edwards (@ByLinEd) May 13, 2020
What a stupid country.
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The supercut of people getting Jeremy Hunt’s name wrong is glorious – and NSFW
Source @Tim_Batt


thepoke--2020-05-13--Jimmy Kimmel’s takedown of Donald Trump as an angry toddler is brilliantly done

This video of Donald Trump as an angry toddler has gone wildly viral because it ’ s so well done @ @ @ @ @ spot-on , 100 % .
It was the work of talkshow host Jimmy Kimmel , @ @ @ @ @ occasional run-in with the president .
Here ’ s the original tweet , including an @ @ @ @ @ undoctored video .
And just a few of the things people were saying about it @ @ @ @ @ takedown of Donald Trump ’ s trolling was just brilliantly done

Twitter
This video of Donald Trump as an angry toddler has gone wildly viral because it’s so well done. Very funny and absolutely spot-on, 100%.
Who the hell did this 🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/rCLyOmsXt6 — savageape (@savag3ap3) May 12, 2020
It was the work of talkshow host Jimmy Kimmel, who’s had the occasional run-in with the president.
Here’s the original tweet, including an introduction by Kimmel and the undoctored video.
And just a few of the things people were saying about it.
She's too coherent and mature to be Trump. — Elocin Finney (@ElocinEnnis) May 12, 2020
That's awesome! So strikingly similar to what C-SPAN caught on his open mic as he left yesterday. "I hate this house!" Watch to the end. pic.twitter.com/46coHT8EDT — KevinlyFather 🇺🇲🇨🇦🇲🇼🇸🇿 (@KevinlyFather) May 12, 2020
https://twitter.com/brianrayguitar/status/1260289518915055616?s=20
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Jimmy Kimmel’s takedown of Donald Trump’s trolling was just brilliantly done
Source @jimmykimmel @savag3ap3


thepoke--2020-05-13--5 bemused  reactions from people suddenly agreeing with Tory MP Peter Bone

Peter Bone may arguably be best known because of the way the former Speaker , John Bercow , shouted his @ @ @ @ @ member and prominent Brexiter is also something of a poster boy for the further right @ @ @ @ @ s a fine example of that first point .
And here he is slavishly defending @ @ @ @ @ crushed by Kay Burley .
In the words of certain publications , what happens next @ @ @ @ @ ’ s right – a point-by-point breakdown of how the Prime Minister broke the ministerial @ @ @ @ @ of those around him .
This had the astonishing side effect of making a lot @ @ @ @ @ find themselves agreeing with him .
It seemed there might be a predictable direction of @ @ @ @ @ a zinger of an answer for the MP defending Boris Johnson ’ s honesty

Twitter
Peter Bone may arguably be best known because of the way the former Speaker, John Bercow, shouted his name, though the ERG member and prominent Brexiter is also something of a poster boy for the further right wing Conservatism.
Here’s a fine example of that first point.
I'm now so obsessed with Bercow saying "Mr Peter Bone" that I've spent a period of time setting it to the opening of Beethoven's 5th. Brexit is literally driving me mad. pic.twitter.com/P5w31OWkWi — Rhodri Marsden (@rhodri) March 28, 2019
And here he is slavishly defending his lying leader and being crushed by Kay Burley.
Bone: PM is wonderful and trustworthy. Anyone who suggests he lied. Is out of order
Kay: He was sacked for lying by the Telegraph 🔥#Brexit pic.twitter.com/iVdwSotde2 — Matty 🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@Doozy_45) September 25, 2019
In the words of certain publications, what happens next will shock you.
"Many of them have clearly been watching too many episodes of West Wing. They just do not understand how the government works in this country." Conservative MP Peter Bone lists reasons why the Prime Minister's Sunday television address was "wrong" and breached ministerial code. pic.twitter.com/93VpH5h4RN — Channel 4 News (@Channel4News) May 12, 2020
That’s right – a point-by-point breakdown of how the Prime Minister broke the ministerial code and a damning condemnation of those around him.
This had the astonishing side effect of making a lot of less Tory-minded people suddenly find themselves agreeing with him.
1.
That's it – I could just about handle respecting Piers Morgan, but agreeing with Peter Bone? Stop the world, I want to get off! pic.twitter.com/qLd0QLgxuE — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) May 12, 2020
2.
I’ve just awoken in an alternate reality where I actually find myself agreeing with Conservative MP Peter Bone https://t.co/fT4ARUt2DF — Peter Stefanovic (@PeterStefanovi2) May 12, 2020
3.
When Peter Bone somehow finds himself being the sage voice of sanity, you know something has gone very, very wrong.pic.twitter.com/CpufDKVCu8 — Graham Lithgow (@grahamlithgow) May 13, 2020
4.
Oh God! Peter Bone MP is making sense.
Has Hell frozen over? — Jen 🐇 (@Jennyflower) May 12, 2020
5.
They say you get more right wing as you get older. In 50 in a couple of weeks, and today I agreed with Piers Morgan and Peter Bone. I'm properly worried. https://t.co/qpjh7MnlyQ — Russ (@RussInCheshire) May 12, 2020
It seemed there might be a predictable direction of travel.
Ok if we extrapolate out first Piers Morgan then Philip Schofield and now Peter Bone waking up to the shitshow by next Tuesday we will have Jim Davidson and then sometime in June Nosferatu — end of daves ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) May 13, 2020
via Gfycat
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Kay Burley had a zinger of an answer for the MP defending Boris Johnson’s honesty
Source Channel 4 Image Channel 4 BBC


thepoke--2020-05-13--People are enjoying the W1A cast keeping the show’s spirit going in these troubled times

It ’ s been a while since W1A was on the telly but the BBC mockumentary ( which was often @ @ @ @ @ thing ) lives on in the tweets of various cast members .
‘ The W1A @ @ @ @ @ keeping the show alive warms my soul , ’ said @ stevenperkins , who shared @ @ @ @ @ with a tweet by ( genuine ) BBC journalist Tom Hourigan and rather escalated from @ @ @ @ @ few of the things people were saying about it .
One question remained .
About @ @ @ @ @ started it all , that is .
Comedian Jenny Eclair asked about a new BBC @ @ @ @ @ W1A

Twitter
It’s been a while since W1A was on the telly but the BBC mockumentary (which was often more real than the real thing) lives on in the tweets of various cast members.
‘The W1A cast’s commitment to keeping the show alive warms my soul,’ said @stevenperkins, who shared this Twitter exchange which started with a tweet by (genuine) BBC journalist Tom Hourigan and rather escalated from there.
BBC staff have just been sent a wellbeing survey and I'm fairly confident this wasn't meant to be one of the questions pic.twitter.com/VMphViATPv — Tom Hourigan (@TomHourigan) May 6, 2020
Yes no sure, thanks for flagging this, Tom. It wasn’t a fault in Syncopatiquiz it was just a glitch in human error brought on by intern. He’d been self-isolating in Studio 6B, that is until Jenni Murray heard snoring; he’s very tired. #W1A @jason__watkins @drsarahparish — Hugh Bonneville (@hughbon) May 7, 2020
Yes — Sarah Parish (@DrSarahParish) May 9, 2020
Right. I mean I don't know if you'd like to — — Hugh Bonneville (@hughbon) May 9, 2020
No — Sarah Parish (@DrSarahParish) May 9, 2020
Yes no truly brilliant Tom. Heroic exposé. ‘Blah error’did indeed lead from said intern.He was using Tony’s @Deliveroo account to get stuff in from next door #CafeNero -T doesn’t give a ‘blah’ as he’s leaving as DG. Behaving really badly actually. #WheelsComeOff RU running 4 DG? — Jason Watkins (@Jason__Watkins) May 9, 2020
Simon, FT me. The fact is we need to talk about the next DG — Sarah Parish (@DrSarahParish) May 9, 2020
We tried to FT once. And it was every unsatisfying you us both. You made that VERY clear at the time I remember. I can zoom you later. How do you feel about hopping back from. @Netflix to General us all.. — Jason Watkins (@Jason__Watkins) May 9, 2020
Yes, no, the what? — Sarah Parish (@DrSarahParish) May 9, 2020
Frankly now that the BBC is finally upfront and centre in the public you know uppermost, who needs Netflix Tigernuts when we have Sir David on a loop? (Incidentally, I hear he turned down DG while self-isolating in Maui). @DrSarahParish @Jason__Watkins #W1A — Hugh Bonneville (@hughbon) May 9, 2020
Actually come to think of it animals are the only thing we can safely film atm. How quickly can we get him back from Hawaii and in front of that lizard in Tony’s office? #TheOneShow’s really up against it. #W1A @Jason__Watkins @DrSarahParish — Hugh Bonneville (@hughbon) May 9, 2020
And just a few of the things people were saying about it.
(I don’t know why Sarah Parish simply tweeting “Yes” got the biggest laugh from me but sometimes the simplest jokes are the best) — Steven Perkins (@stevenperkins) May 11, 2020
Surely a #W1A Zoom special should be in the offing? — Imaginary Porno Charades (@pornocharades) May 11, 2020
I think we really need to hear from Will though — LottieOConor (@LottieOConor) May 11, 2020
@hughskinnernet any comment Will? — Annie Rowe CDG (@AnnieRoweCasts) May 11, 2020
One question remained. About the BBC staff survey that started it all, that is.
BBC staff have just been sent a wellbeing survey and I'm fairly confident this wasn't meant to be one of the questions pic.twitter.com/VMphViATPv — Tom Hourigan (@TomHourigan) May 6, 2020
What was your answer? — Tim West (@Tim_C_West) May 6, 2020
I planned to leave it blank, but because it wouldn’t let me, went for “the same as before” so as not to rock the boat — Tom Hourigan (@TomHourigan) May 6, 2020
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Comedian Jenny Eclair asked about a new BBC service and it got all W1A
Source Twitter @stevenperkins