thepoke--2020-04-22--8 funny reactions to the Sun editor’s Downing Street question about disinformation

Although social distancing has made it impossible for journalists to be present at the government ’ s coronavirus updates , @ @ @ @ @ questions via video link .
Journalists usually focus on the accuracy of the reported numbers @ @ @ @ @ obtaining PPE , or whether there ’ s an exit strategy .
On Tuesday , @ @ @ @ @ s Dan Wootton asked what the government intended to do about disinformation coming from China @ @ @ @ @ grant him a question and what he chose to ask caused a mini meltdown on @ @ @ @ @ standing out from the crowd .
Finally , Twitter ’ s best Boris Johnson parody @ @ @ @ @ sorts .
They ’ ve been nicking hand sanitiser at the Sun and everyone made @ @ @

Twitter
Although social distancing has made it impossible for journalists to be present at the government’s coronavirus updates, they are able to submit questions via video link.
Journalists usually focus on the accuracy of the reported numbers of sufferers, progress on obtaining PPE, or whether there’s an exit strategy.
On Tuesday, however, the Sun’s Dan Wootton asked what the government intended to do about disinformation coming from China.
Both the decision to grant him a question and what he chose to ask caused a mini meltdown on Twitter, with these reactions standing out from the crowd.
1.
Lmao Dan Wootton was given a slot at the government press conference and he ignored PPE, testing etc to try to provoke some state-sanctioned China-bashing. Well done to Hancock for not bothering with a follow up. — Michael Walker (@michaeljswalker) April 21, 2020
2.
If Dan Wootton can refer to himself as a journalist then I can refer to myself as one the Chippendales — Bennett Arron (@BennettArron) April 21, 2020
3.
#DailyBriefing Dan: Hi, Dan Wootton, the Scum newspaper. Matt: Oh, Jesus. Go on. Dan: Yeah, Corona virus is bad and shit but do you think Meghan Markle should apologise to her dad and who do you think is gonna win Britain's Got Talent this year? Matt: Erm… pic.twitter.com/PG1cZEnz0H — The Sting (@TheSting17) April 21, 2020
4.
Dan Wootton asking a question about disinformation pic.twitter.com/P2TpiReSKi — Dorothy Lepkowska (@DotLepkowska) April 21, 2020
5.
Have I got this right. Has Dan Wootton who works for the SUN just asked Matt Hancock what our government are doing to stop conspiracy theory’s being published. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 WELL WE COULD GET RID OF YOUR PAPER — Charlotte Henderson (@Charl_H79) April 21, 2020
6.
Giving Dan Wootton a question at a Covid briefing is like giving a harpsichord to a warthog. There's technically nothing stopping you from doing it but it does seem rather a waste. — Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew) April 21, 2020
7.
Footage of Dan Wootton in that press conference pic.twitter.com/IbMrXd0TO0 — 'Client Journalism' Expert (@PopulismExpert) April 21, 2020
8.
Dan Wootton getting to ask a question when he's literally the one thing we all want to avoid and eradicate more than the actual virus — Sid (@HertsSid) April 21, 2020
Finally, Twitter’s best Boris Johnson parody issued an apology – of sorts.
I'd like to apologise for allowing Dan Wootton to ask a question at the #DailyBriefing, but neither the editor of The Beano nor Tommy Robinson were available.#coronavirus — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) April 21, 2020
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They’ve been nicking hand sanitiser at the Sun and everyone made the same joke
Image The Guardian


thepoke--2020-04-22--This home-brew disaster is the perfect metaphor for 2020

If anything could represent 2020 , it must surely be something going devastatingly and unexpectedly wrong , and leaving a @ @ @ @ @ to be impossible to ignore .
The Polish speakers of Twitter have confirmed that the @ @ @ @ @ red currants , and they are going to stain everything – no question about it @ @ @ @ @ reactions to the unfortunate drink problem .
This woman ’ s solution to spilling red @ @ @ @ @ is sheer genius

Pics
If anything could represent 2020, it must surely be something going devastatingly and unexpectedly wrong, and leaving a mark that’s going to be impossible to ignore.
Like this …
Let's sample the beetroot homebrew.. pic.twitter.com/YPVWilYvFo — Disgruntled Ferret (@PeevedFerret) April 20, 2020
The Polish speakers of Twitter have confirmed that the home brew was made from red currants, and they are going to stain everything – no question about it.
These were our favourite reactions to the unfortunate drink problem.
This is pretty much my hideous ketchup accident not 30 minutes ago. https://t.co/YJsnnS00iD — Alistair Coleman (@alistaircoleman) April 21, 2020
Checking my email inbox in the evening after a day of homeschooling https://t.co/BrZc9csO5M — Daniel Bolnick (@DanielBolnick) April 21, 2020
Part 2 of this story is a washing powder commercial presumably — Marco NonGrata 🇬🇧 🇮🇪 🏴 (@FlappinPenguins) April 21, 2020
And this understated comment:
READ MORE
This woman’s solution to spilling red wine on her white outfit is sheer genius
Source @PeevedFerret Image @PeevedFerret


thepoke--2020-04-22--8 sceptical responses to this swift u-turn on why the UK missed out on a PPE scheme

Sir Simon McDonald , a senior civil servant at the Foreign Office , told a committee early on Tuesday that @ @ @ @ @ in a PPE and ventilator procurement scheme run by the EU was a political one @ @ @ @ @ official line , which was that the opportunity had been missed due to miscommunication , @ @ @ @ @ to have given the green light to the UK ’ s involvement .
It was @ @ @ @ @ but not as awkward as when he “ clarified ” his statement a few hours @ @ @ @ @ the government had been briefed and decided not to get involved , he meant they @ @ @ @ @ and it was a communication issue like officials had said – if you forget about @ @ @ @ @ d signed off on it .
Here are the best reactions we ’ ve seen @ @ @ @ @ apt metaphor for the government ’ s blundering .
So , here you are .
@ @ @ @ @ and the government gave them a badge – 9 scathing responses

News
Sir Simon McDonald, a senior civil servant at the Foreign Office, told a committee early on Tuesday that the decision not to participate in a PPE and ventilator procurement scheme run by the EU was a political one.
This directly contradicted the official line, which was that the opportunity had been missed due to miscommunication, although Matt Hancock separately claimed to have given the green light to the UK’s involvement.
It was all a but awkward, but not as awkward as when he “clarified” his statement a few hours later.
tl;dr
When he said the government had been briefed and decided not to get involved, he meant they hadn’t been briefed and it was a communication issue like officials had said – if you forget about Matt Hancock insisting he’d signed off on it.
All clear? As mud.
Here are the best reactions we’ve seen.
1.
So ‘It wasn’t a political decision, we really did miss the emails’ is what counts as a defence for this shower. — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) April 21, 2020
2.
I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO CLARIFY THAT THE DECISION TO DESTROY ALDERAAN WAS NOT, IN FACT, A POLITCAL DECISION AND THE DESTRUCTION OF ALDERAAN ONLY OCCURRED DUE TO THE GALACTIC EMPIRE NOT RECEIVING ANY PROTESTATIONS FROM THE ALDERAANIAN GOVERNMENT. THANK YOU. pic.twitter.com/n9dDjJDElh — DARTH BREXIT (@Darth_Brexit_) April 21, 2020
3.
'Clarification': noun, the action of making a statement or situation less confused and more comprehensible. ie not a U turn. https://t.co/5uiRsiZ2Sq — Jessica Simor QC (@JMPSimor) April 21, 2020
4.
"At this moment in time I did not say them things" – Glenn Hoddle https://t.co/JtlcEQKjyr — Peter Smith (@Redpeter99) April 21, 2020
5.
Now it all makes sense. When Sir Simon McDonald said not joining the EU PPE scheme was a political decision, he meant it wasn't a political decision.#coronavirus #PPE pic.twitter.com/lXhfiRkEK2 — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) April 21, 2020
6.
Apparently, one of the UK's most senior diplomats had a mini episode and recalled everything inconveniently badly. Later that day he re-recalled everything, without anyone at all shouting at him, much better. Either that happened or something else, that's not a lie, happened. https://t.co/VjlK9fXD53 — Alex Andreou (@sturdyAlex) April 21, 2020
7.
“That thing I said earlier was not the thing I actually said and if you think the thing I said was what I actually said you’re wrong.” Another day, another new low. https://t.co/7evIUyDUBg — 🏳🌈 Max 🏳🌈 (@SpillerOfTea) April 21, 2020
8.
Graham Lithgow had this apt metaphor for the government’s blundering.
Watching this government trip over their own arses attempting to cover up their latest blunder/lie is like that scene in the Simpsons where Sideshow Bob finds himself stepping on rakes in excruciating perpetuity. https://t.co/1qf2p6VbnB — Graham Lithgow (@grahamlithgow) April 21, 2020
So, here you are.
via Gfycat
READ MORE
Care workers asked for PPE and the government gave them a badge – 9 scathing responses
Source Tom Tugendhat Image Tom Tugendhat, Bloomberg


thepoke--2020-04-22--A parent shared their kids’ ‘declaration of war’ and it’s fabulous

Over on Twitter , Farhad Manjoo shared the ‘ decoration of war ’ submitted by his kids and it ’ @ @ @ @ @ ‘ Kids presented us with a written declaration of war , ’ wrote @ fmanjoo @ @ @ @ @ working at home with his wife and children for the last five weeks .
And @ @ @ @ @ here it is again , just in case that ’ s tricky to read .
@ @ @ @ @ some power in this house .
– control bed time – how long our walks @ @ @ @ @ to watch TV If you do not sign we will declare war on the parents @ @ @ @ @ and here are just some of the things people were saying about it .
Just @ @ @ @ @ … And if you want a little bit more context , you can read all @ @ @ @ @ have been sharing their kid-friendly jokes – our 18 favourites

Pics
Over on Twitter, Farhad Manjoo shared the ‘decoration of war’ submitted by his kids and it’s an absolute delight.
‘Kids presented us with a written declaration of war,’ wrote @fmanjoo who has been locked down working at home with his wife and children for the last five weeks.
And here it is.
And here it is again, just in case that’s tricky to read.
We would like to have some power in this house. Example. – control bed time
– how long our walks are
– when we get to watch TV If you do not sign we will declare war on the parents. Sign here
It went wildly viral and here are just some of the things people were saying about it.
A kid d'etat — Nathan McDermott (@natemcdermott) April 21, 2020
Very civilized, these kids have clearly been reading French diplomatic history — Heidi N. Moore (@moorehn) April 21, 2020
I really respect these kids. Prepare to die I guess — Justin Hendrix | wash your hands & stay at home (@justinhendrix) April 21, 2020
Divide & conquer:
* Offer one of them a sleeve of Oreos to turn on the other!
* Spread mis-information on their favorite social networks!
* Adopt a third-party kid to sow dissent in the ranks and advocate for less screen time, more walks! — Daniel Chait (@dhchait) April 21, 2020
Grant all demands, but vest power in only one child. Watch them tear each other apart, reclaim control to settle divide. Should take like 3 days, a week tops — eric (@ejmaron) April 21, 2020
Never negotiate with terrorists. — ShootDownAllBoatsHat (@Popehat) April 21, 2020
Just in case you were wondering …
Did you sign? — Harry Siegel (@harrysiegel) April 21, 2020
No way — Farhad Manjoo (@fmanjoo) April 21, 2020
And if you want a little bit more context, you can read all about it here.
After five weeks trying to work from home while schooling, feeding and entertaining two kids, my wife and I are losing our minds. My kids declared war. And there’s no end in sight. My column on parental burnout and how it limits “reopening”: https://t.co/IdnPaJdPSR — Farhad Manjoo (@fmanjoo) April 22, 2020
READ MORE
People have been sharing their kid-friendly jokes – our 18 favourites
Source Twitter @fmanjoo


thepoke--2020-04-22--Donald Trump said he’ll shoot down Iranian gunboats and everyone made the same joke

Here ’ s the so-called US president and commander-in-chief Donald Trump issuing a stern warning to the Iranian government and @ @ @ @ @ , obviously .
And there was something about it that struck people as a little @ @ @ @ @ press conference was made a lot more entertaining by a brush and hairdryer

Twitter
Here’s the so-called US president and commander-in-chief Donald Trump issuing a stern warning to the Iranian government and its gunboats. On Twitter, obviously.
I have instructed the United States Navy to shoot down and destroy any and all Iranian gunboats if they harass our ships at sea. — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 22, 2020
And there was something about it that struck people as a little odd.
Trump is giving the order to shoot down boats. I didn't realize Iran had flying boats now. — Nick Jack Pappas (@Pappiness) April 22, 2020
Pesky Iranians and their flying boats. — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) April 22, 2020
How does one shoot down a ship? https://t.co/epTuCUKoku — Jeffrey Guterman (@JeffreyGuterman) April 22, 2020
Shoot down their boats… What is next, sink all their planes? Dumbest President Ever https://t.co/RIPPRaV8kK — Alex Cole (@acnewsitics) April 22, 2020
When the U.S. Navy is done shooting down boats, will it have time to shoot down the flocks of coronavirus? — Walter Shaub (@waltshaub) April 22, 2020
If you ever think you’re out of your depth, remember the most powerful man in the world thinks boats can fly. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 22, 2020
READ MORE
This Donald Trump press conference was made a lot more entertaining by a brush and hairdryer


thepoke--2020-04-22--Reader’s letter of the week

Reader’s letter of the week

Donald Trump said he 'll shoot down Iranian gunboats and everyone made the same joke

Popular
Just a brilliant reader’s letter, as funny as it is relatable as it is concise.
Cheers!
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Simply 14 Fabulous Readers’ Letters
Via WhatsApp Image Pixels


thepoke--2020-04-21--This letter to philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer from his mum is the ultimate parental burn

Burn of the week – that week being the first week in November 1807 – is this letter sent by @ @ @ @ @ son , German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer .
Next level doesn ’ t quite do it @ @ @ @ @ s mom just absolutely letting him hear it , ’ said @ doltery over on @ @ @ @ @ parents homeschooling their kids everywhere ( bit harsh ?
Yes , probably ) .
This @ @ @ @ @ at her ‘ insane ’ philosophical husband is a very funny read

Pics
Burn of the week – that week being the first week in November 1807 – is this letter sent by author Johanna Schopenhauer to her son, German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer.
Next level doesn’t quite do it justice.
‘Schopenhauer’s mom just absolutely letting him hear it,’ said @doltery over on Twitter.
Goes out to parents homeschooling their kids everywhere (bit harsh? Yes, probably).
“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer Makes more sense now. — Shashank Pratap Singh (@InfectdSunlight) April 21, 2020
READ MORE
This physicist wife’s fury at her ‘insane’ philosophical husband is a very funny read
Source @doltery


thepoke--2020-04-23--These quarantined stunt students absolutely smashed their lockdown challenge

Students at France ’ s Campus Univers Cascades – a school for stunt performers – are all in quarantine at @ @ @ @ @ , so their trainers set them a challenge to perform a stunt that involved coming @ @ @ @ @ .
The individual actions , tagged with # CUCchallenge , were then edited into this @ @ @ @ @ Twitter like wildfire , which presumably all these students could jump through .
Maybe don @ @ @ @ @ home , okay ?
The NHS has enough to worry about .
The round-up of @ @ @ @ @ s stunts will make you wish he was your teacher

Pics
Students at France’s Campus Univers Cascades – a school for stunt performers – are all in quarantine at their various homes or digs, so their trainers set them a challenge to perform a stunt that involved coming right up to the camera.
The individual actions, tagged with #CUCchallenge, were then edited into this.
The clip went through Twitter like wildfire, which presumably all these students could jump through.
This could be the finest piece of film-making thus far in human history RT @RexChapman: Quarantined stuntmen, bruh… pic.twitter.com/WIXwmOaUOK — Neil Mullarkey (@NeilMullarkey) April 22, 2020
Maybe don’t try this at home, okay? The NHS has enough to worry about.
READ MORE
The round-up of this septuagenarian physics prof’s stunts will make you wish he was your teacher
Source CampusUCascades Image CampusUCascades


thepoke--2020-04-23--This hybrid of football and table tennis is a crazy but wonderful phenomenon

The sport of Headis is a spectacular chymera – part football , part table tennis , with gameplay carried out @ @ @ @ @ using a football , and only the players ’ heads making contact with the ball @ @ @ @ @ never seen it , this impressive rally from 2017 is a great place to start @ @ @ @ @ sure why it ’ s suddenly getting so much attention – perhaps something to do @ @ @ @ @ to go on a deep dive into YouTube – but we ’ re glad it @ @ @ @ @ what people have been saying about it .
Joss Heffernan came up with this beauty @ @ @ @ @ on telly to watch Gary Lineker sent this marble race wildly viral

Videos
The sport of Headis is a spectacular chymera – part football, part table tennis, with gameplay carried out on a ping pong table using a football, and only the players’ heads making contact with the ball.
If you’ve never seen it, this impressive rally from 2017 is a great place to start.
We’re not sure why it’s suddenly getting so much attention – perhaps something to do with more people having time to go on a deep dive into YouTube – but we’re glad it has.
Here’s what people have been saying about it.
Possibly the greatest 30 seconds of sport you will ever see anywhere pic.twitter.com/yMjcNesTY5 — Omid Djalili (@omid9) April 21, 2020
No, they didn't just do that! Sensational. https://t.co/de09qO1R4a — Harsha Bhogle (@bhogleharsha) April 22, 2020
“Yeah, but can they do it on a wet Tuesday night in Stoke…?” https://t.co/KQQtZ2xAtW — Proper Football (@sid_lambert) April 22, 2020
260k views in a few hours says my sophisticated twitter followers understand innovation, skill, turning defence into attack, and when attacking grab advantage by the scruff of the neck until the point is won. And also that you love crazy shit https://t.co/cg6mnDI7SX — Omid Djalili (@omid9) April 22, 2020
OH MY DAYS! Incredible skills Jeff!!!! https://t.co/PcKz08EDPX — Ross batty (@Rossbatty2) April 22, 2020
Joss Heffernan came up with this beauty.
from Mic Drop GIFs via Gfycat
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With no other sport on telly to watch Gary Lineker sent this marble race wildly viral
Source Headis Image Headis


thepoke--2020-04-23--There was a cringeworthy accidental open mic moment at the Welsh Assembly’s zoom session

As Westminster got back to work with a part-remote session in parliament , the Senedd – the Welsh Assembly – @ @ @ @ @ Prime Minister ’ s Questions may have experienced a few glitches , but the Senedd @ @ @ @ @ and NSFW moment .
The Cabinet Secretary for Health and Social Services , Vaughan Gething @ @ @ @ @ and swearily criticising fellow Labour AM , Jenny Rathbone , who had previously questioned his @ @ @ @ @ testing .
The severity of the gaffe was written all over the faces of other @ @ @ @ @ apologised , though we suspect there ’ ll have to be a lot more grovelling @ @ @ @ @ .
Journalist Alain Tolhurst spoke for most of us when he said this .
Not @ @ @ @ @ Vaughan Gething .
Boris Johnson shared a screengrab of the Cabinet ’ s Zoom meeting @ @ @ @ @

Videos
As Westminster got back to work with a part-remote session in parliament, the Senedd – the Welsh Assembly – was doing the same.
Prime Minister’s Questions may have experienced a few glitches, but the Senedd had an altogether more awkward and NSFW moment.
We have the first great Parliamentary Zoom disaster, courtesy of @vaughangething in the Welsh Assembly pic.twitter.com/bqa9rCxj6s — Alain Tolhurst (@Alain_Tolhurst) April 22, 2020
The Cabinet Secretary for Health and Social Services, Vaughan Gething, could be heard loudly and swearily criticising fellow Labour AM, Jenny Rathbone, who had previously questioned his actions on obtaining PPE and testing.
The severity of the gaffe was written all over the faces of other attendees.
And the reactions, oh the reaction… pic.twitter.com/Tnzem4AJSI — Alain Tolhurst (@Alain_Tolhurst) April 22, 2020
I am living for these reactions to Vaughan Gething dropping the f bomb during the Senedd Zoom call. I'm Leanne. pic.twitter.com/H8Gvr2As5i — Jake (@direktaus) April 22, 2020
The minister later apologised, though we suspect there’ll have to be a lot more grovelling before people can move on.
I’m obviously embarrassed about my comments at the end of questions today. I’ve sent a message apologising and offered to speak to @JennyRathbone if she wishes to do so. It is an unwelcome distraction at a time of unprecedented challenge. — Vaughan Gething AM (@vaughangething) April 22, 2020
Journalist Alain Tolhurst spoke for most of us when he said this.
I was honestly in pain as I listened back to it — Alain Tolhurst (@Alain_Tolhurst) April 22, 2020
Not nearly as much pain as Vaughan Gething.
READ MORE
Boris Johnson shared a screengrab of the Cabinet’s Zoom meeting – 9 points of order
Source Alain Tolhurst Image Alain Tolhurst


thepoke--2020-04-23--Donald Trump isn’t going to stand for Iran’s flying gunboats – 6 shots across the bow

In the midst of a crisis , the world knows it can rely on Donald Trump – to add to @ @ @ @ @ , during the worst health crisis the US , and the rest of the world @ @ @ @ @ , he has opted to *checks notes* threaten Iran .
Not only is he threatening @ @ @ @ @ , but , well …how do you “ shoot down ” gunboats ?
A tweeter @ @ @ @ @ may lie behind the aggressive tweet .
If all this depresses you , there ’ @ @ @ @ @ be gained from it .
This Donald Trump press conference was made a lot more @ @ @ @ @ hairdryer

Twitter
In the midst of a crisis, the world knows it can rely on Donald Trump – to add to it.
Which is why, during the worst health crisis the US, and the rest of the world, has seen in decades, he has opted to *checks notes* threaten Iran.
I have instructed the United States Navy to shoot down and destroy any and all Iranian gunboats if they harass our ships at sea. — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 22, 2020
Political Scientist, Sameera Khan, pointed out the anomaly.
Looks like Trump’s very triggered by Persian ships in the Persian Gulf Mans trying to start a war amid a global pandemic. 1) What is the US Navy doing near Iranian gunboats? 2) Haven’t we terrorized Iran enough — ending JCPOA, sanctions, Soleimani, etc.? FFS, stop this shit! https://t.co/u7pzjNRqsA — sameera khan (@SameeraKhan) April 22, 2020
Not only is he threatening Iranian ships in Iranian waters, but, well …how do you “shoot down” gunboats?
People had thoughts.
1.
FINALLY a president who isn't scared to take on [checks notes] flying Iranian boats https://t.co/R79Sq2fk69 — Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) April 22, 2020
2.
Ok, Admiral Bone Spurs https://t.co/YuL5floSZl — Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) April 22, 2020
3.
4.
You don’t shoot down Iranian gunboats. You sink them, just like your polls and your presidency. — Eugene Gu, MD (@eugenegu) April 22, 2020
5.
what a great idea it was to put a racist game show host in charge of keeping us safe — Jeff Tiedrich (@itsJeffTiedrich) April 22, 2020
6.
When the U.S. Navy is done shooting down boats, will it have time to shoot down the flocks of coronavirus? — Walter Shaub (@waltshaub) April 22, 2020
A tweeter named Stonekettle pointed out what may lie behind the aggressive tweet.
You see what this is, right? This is Trump's bumbling hamfisted attempt to manipulate the stock market and drive up oil prices by threatening a war in the Arabian Gulf via Tweet. All he needs is Iran to cooperate, and why wouldn't they? https://t.co/scF09EkPrN — Stonekettle (@Stonekettle) April 22, 2020
If all this depresses you, there’s some small comfort to be gained from it.
If you ever think you’re out of your depth, remember the most powerful man in the world thinks boats can fly. — James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 22, 2020
READ MORE
This Donald Trump press conference was made a lot more entertaining by a brush and hairdryer
Source Donald Trump Image Dylan Burns


thepoke--2020-04-24--Trump’s weird medical advice is even funnier when it’s lip-synced by a comedian

People have been reeling at Donald Trump ’ s latest suggestions for potential cures for Covid-19 , which involve *checks @ @ @ @ @ get UV light into the body , or injecting disinfectant .
Comedian Sarah Cooper added @ @ @ @ @ briefing , with this hilarious lip-sync she shared on TikTok .
She posted the link @ @ @ @ @ ’ s been viewed more than two million times in seven hours – at the @ @ @ @ @ ’ d love Sarah to do all of Trump ’ s briefings – instead of @ @ @ @ @ to put UV light and disinfectant into Covid-19 patients – 12 stunned responses

Videos
People have been reeling at Donald Trump’s latest suggestions for potential cures for Covid-19, which involve *checks notes* finding a way to get UV light into the body, or injecting disinfectant.
from Andy Samberg GIFs via Gfycat
Comedian Sarah Cooper added an extra layer to his briefing, with this hilarious lip-sync she shared on TikTok.
She posted the link to Twitter, where it’s been viewed more than two million times in seven hours – at the time of writing.
How to medical pic.twitter.com/0EDqJcy38p — Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) April 24, 2020
This is incredible — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 24, 2020
You nearly killed me w/ this… my coffee went down the wrong pipe, I spit it on my keyboard, and now I'm coughing like I have COVID-19… — Terrence A. McKelvey, CFP®, ChFC® (@Terrence_CFP) April 24, 2020
We’d love Sarah to do all of Trump’s briefings – instead of him.
READ MORE
Donald Trump wants to put UV light and disinfectant into Covid-19 patients – 12 stunned responses
Source Sarah Cooper Image Sarah Cooper, Aaron Rupar


thepoke--2020-04-24--Michael Spicer took the Room Next Door back to the Late Late Show – and it couldn’t be better

We couldn ’ t be more pleased that more of the world is getting to see the work of the @ @ @ @ @ ’ s his second appearance on The Late Late Show – remotely , of course @ @ @ @ @ ’ s in the Room Next Door .
Michael and The Late Late Show shared @ @ @ @ @ Naturally , people love the sketch , although it may have ruined ‘ True ’ @ @ @ @ @ improved it , to be fair .
Michael Spicer ’ s latest Room Next Door @ @ @ @ @ The Late Late Show

Videos
We couldn’t be more pleased that more of the world is getting to see the work of the wonderful Michael Spicer. Here’s his second appearance on The Late Late Show – remotely, of course,
Once again, he’s in the Room Next Door.
Michael and The Late Late Show shared the link on Twitter.
the room next door – Trump II for @latelateshow https://t.co/5rRUGDSLh4 — Michael Spicer (@MrMichaelSpicer) April 23, 2020
Things aren't getting any easier for Trump's new speech advisor @MrMichaelSpicer. pic.twitter.com/h6R3gZFEKX — The Late Late Show with James Corden (@latelateshow) April 23, 2020
Naturally, people love the sketch, although it may have ruined ‘True’ for everyone forever – or improved it, to be fair.
On the @latelateshow tonight! More brilliance from @MrMichaelSpicer in The Room Next Door pic.twitter.com/CyV0i1BR8l — James Corden (@JKCorden) April 23, 2020
Brilliant . @MrMichaelSpicer Please keep em coming. — Tommy Flanagan (@TommyFlanagan) April 23, 2020
Top work again Michael. I won’t be able to hear True in the same light again. (Can you even hear in a light?) — Sanjeev Bhaskar (@TVSanjeev) April 23, 2020
One Twitter user made this excellent point.
This should be the only way to watch politicians, and reality show hosts pretending, it's the only way to watch without breaking things. — Nanny Ogg's Hedgehog (@hedgehogogg) April 23, 2020
READ MORE
Michael Spicer’s latest Room Next Door sketch was a highlight of The Late Late Show
Source The Late Late Show Image The Late Late Show


thepoke--2020-04-24--Donald Trump wants to put UV light and disinfectant into Covid-19 patients – 12 stunned responses

Just days after trials determined that the Covid-19 “ treatment ” Donald Trump had been pushing resulted in more deaths @ @ @ @ @ President who “ just gets ” virology – apparently – came right back with not @ @ @ @ @ .
Yes , that ’ s right – the stable genius wants actual humans , @ @ @ @ @ deadly virus , to have UV light and/or disinfectant somehow inserted into their bodies .
@ @ @ @ @ been a mixture of scorn , horror and awe at the sheer scale of his @ @ @ @ @ had an idea of how the ultraviolet light could be got into the body .
@ @ @ @ @ this .
Donald Trump isn ’ t going to stand for Iran ’ s flying @ @ @ @ @ the bow

News
Just days after trials determined that the Covid-19 “treatment” Donald Trump had been pushing resulted in more deaths from the virus, the President who “just gets” virology – apparently – came right back with not one but two possible answers.
"The disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning. It gets in the lungs" — Trump seems to suggests that injecting disinfectant inside people could be a treatment for the coronavirus pic.twitter.com/amis9Rphsm — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 23, 2020
Yes, that’s right – the stable genius wants actual humans, who are suffering from a deadly virus, to have UV light and/or disinfectant somehow inserted into their bodies.
Naturally, the reaction has been a mixture of scorn, horror and awe at the sheer scale of his idiocy.
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Wow Trump just suggested getting rid of coronavirus by bringing "light inside the body" … "either through the skin or in some other way" or using disinfectant: "is there a way you can do something like that by injection or some other way." — Abby D. Phillip (@abbydphillip) April 23, 2020
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Trump attempting to talk medicine will always be the funniest shit I’ve ever heard pic.twitter.com/wwMJ2v2sV0 — Secular Talk (@KyleKulinski) April 23, 2020
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We’ve gone from hydroxychloroquine to injecting disinfectant in our bodies. Let’s let Donald Trump do it first! — John Dean (@JohnWDean) April 23, 2020
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Trump comes out and suggests treating the Coronavirus with a Dr. Pepper high colonic and everyone nods and tries not to look embarrassed and I am so goddam sick of this insane shitshow. — Hillary Warned Us (@HillaryWarnedUs) April 23, 2020
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I actually like that Trump is on TV every day. He’s in power every day, so at least we’re reminded how much of a fucking disaster he is. Give us a time delay for real-time fact checking and it’ll be even better. Maybe like this: pic.twitter.com/6TWCapzLK1 — Durr, Criminacle (@truthdogg) April 23, 2020
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At this briefing, Trump has suggested injecting both light and disinfectant into people. And so now we know what happens when you tell a stupid person “sunlight is the best disinfectant” and I’d bet my ass that’s what happened here ‘cause nothing else makes sense. — Adam Parkhomenko (@AdamParkhomenko) April 23, 2020
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Hi there – scientist who did their PhD in medical #ultraviolet radiation. No, you cannot inject UV light into your body to cure #COVID19 – neither biology or physics work that way. #Trump has essentially kindergarten level of comprehension of everything 🤦🏻♂ #TrumpPressBriefing — Dr David Robert Grimes (@drg1985) April 23, 2020
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Get a load of Dr. Birx's demeanor after Trump tells her, "I would like you to speak to the medical doctors to see if there's any way that you can apply light and heat to cure [coronavirus]." pic.twitter.com/TP0QoSzkYl — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 23, 2020
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Attention Trump Supporters: I am now selling bottles of sunshine for only $19.99 + tax. Guaranteed to get light in your body quickly & safely to destroy the virus. This should protect you from #COVID19. Disclosure:
*Syringes sold separately
*Patent Pending — Andrew Goss 👊USAF👊 (@Goss30Goss) April 23, 2020
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Good God Almighty. Trump thinks since light may have some effect on the half-life of the virus, you should "add "light to the cure." Once you have it, "light" is irrelevant and there is no "cure." — Tea Pain (@TeaPainUSA) April 23, 2020
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Trump has hired a team of colorful bears to help inject light directly into Covid-19 victims. pic.twitter.com/CsffvxzjYh — Benjamin Siemon (@BenjaminJS) April 23, 2020
Virologist Angela Rasmussen had an idea of how the ultraviolet light could be got into the body.
Did President Trump just say that NBACC is working on a way to get UV light "into the body"? Like the anti-vampire bullets from Blade? — Dr. Angela Rasmussen (@angie_rasmussen) April 23, 2020
Never let Trump hear about this.
READ MORE
Donald Trump isn’t going to stand for Iran’s flying gunboats – 6 shots across the bow
Source Aaron Rupar Image Aaron Rupar


thepoke--2020-04-24--This nan’s coronavirus mask is both ingenious and terrifying

Although the jury ’ s still out on whether masks are a good idea as a coronavirus prevention measure , @ @ @ @ @ some people from taking the initiative .
Miss S ‘ s nan is clearly no @ @ @ @ @ staying safe .
Not even sorry .
This is how Twitter reacted to the spectacle @ @ @ @ @ way , the pig mask is a great idea .
11 people for whom a @ @ @ @ @ t enough ( or available )

Twitter
Although the jury’s still out on whether masks are a good idea as a coronavirus prevention measure, that hasn’t stopped some people from taking the initiative.
My Nan’s best friend lives at the end of the garden, so they open their adjoining gate (best friend goals), take a chair and sit and talk to each other either side wearing their masks. It was today I found out that this is the mask my Nan has been wearing. pic.twitter.com/MLR2PZSuqE — Miss S (@teachinginge) April 23, 2020
Miss S‘s nan is clearly no hamateur when it comes to staying safe. Not even sorry.
This is how Twitter reacted to the spectacle.
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Imagine being a kid near this woman's house. Everything's normal, then one day you're suddenly not allowed outside, you wonder what's going on, you look down the garden and see some old woman chatting shit with Pig Nan. https://t.co/QuWxmjPApF — James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 23, 2020
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This is straight up the best thing I have seen in weeks. https://t.co/kSK2v0gIvd — Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) April 23, 2020
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This is genuinely my favourite thing I’ve ever seen https://t.co/e5BnXN9chW — Bethany (@bethanyrutter) April 23, 2020
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The masked nan. Equal parts love and fear this nan. https://t.co/syqWdINA5A — Cat Prill is staying home🏡✌🏻 (@itPrill) April 23, 2020
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In at least one way, the pig mask is a great idea.
Pretty sure I'd be staying at *least* 2 meters away from her! — Schrödinger's adopted jesus (@SnavelyBrent) April 23, 2020
READ MORE
11 people for whom a coronavirus face mask wasn’t enough (or available)
Source Miss S Image Miss S


thepoke--2020-04-23--Simply 17 lockdown signs to put a smile on your face despite it all

It ’ s become a bit of a tradition for people to come up with inventive and often very funny @ @ @ @ @ marches and we often feature them on these pages .
Now we ’ re no @ @ @ @ @ at the moment – unless you ’ re one of those American lockdown protestors , @ @ @ @ @ people have been doing it with their Covid-19 signs instead .
Here are just 17 @ @ @ @ @ by the good people of Bored Panda which we will hope will take the edge @ @ @ @ @ .

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It’s become a bit of a tradition for people to come up with inventive and often very funny placards to wave at protest marches and we often feature them on these pages.
Now we’re no longer going on protest marches at the moment – unless you’re one of those American lockdown protestors, of course – lots of people have been doing it with their Covid-19 signs instead.
Here are just 17 of a whole bunch highlighted by the good people of Bored Panda which we will hope will take the edge off just a little bit.
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thepoke--2020-04-23--Jeremy Vine did a very bloody Covid-19 test – 5 funny (and slightly woozy) responses

Jeremy Vine ’ s done a Covid-19 test and was keen to share the results on Twitter .
But it @ @ @ @ @ people ended up talking about but the amount of blood on show belonging to the @ @ @ @ @ are our 5 favourite things people said about it .

Twitter
Jeremy Vine’s done a Covid-19 test and was keen to share the results on Twitter.
But it wasn’t Covid-19 that people ended up talking about but the amount of blood on show belonging to the Radio 2 presenter.
I have just done a COVID19 test.
Note — this is not the “have you got it?” test which the government is having so much trouble sourcing. This is the “have you had it?” test for antibodies. It was a demonstration unit and currently not approved by the govt. pic.twitter.com/a4ATEsNqgk — Jeremy Vine (@theJeremyVine) April 23, 2020
Here are our 5 favourite things people said about it.
I assume you’re typing with your remaining hand? — Matt (@MatthewHewitt) April 23, 2020
Wow! That’s a lot of blood Jeremy. What did you use to break the skin, a machete? — a crunchy, minty biscuit (@animaloftheweek) April 23, 2020
Turns out you didn’t have it but bled to death. — Giles Mooney (@GilesMooney) April 23, 2020
CSI: Radio 2.
These comments have made me howl with laughter ….. hope you haven’t bled to death in the interim! — Celia Stanley. #stayindoorssavelives. (@celiamary3) April 23, 2020
READ MORE
These quarantined stunt students absolutely smashed their lockdown challenge
Source @TheJeremyVine


thepoke--2020-04-23--Simply 13 pictures of social distancing animals to make your day better

It ’ s not just people who are social distancing , animals are at it too .
At least , @ @ @ @ @ this rather wonderful collection of social distancing animals put together by the good people of @ @ @ @ @ re not all cats .
Just most of them .

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It’s not just people who are social distancing, animals are at it too. At least, this lot are, in this rather wonderful collection of social distancing animals put together by the good people of Bored Panda.
They’re not all cats. Just most of them.
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Essential training for restaurant waiting staff during Covid-19
Source Bored Panda


thepoke--2020-04-23--Most imaginative takedown you’ll read this week

There ’ s a subReddit called ‘ rare insults ’ which does exactly that , a place for unusual , @ @ @ @ @ you might want to hang onto for a special occasion .
And this is a @ @ @ @ @ a winning response to a guy who went on Twitter to tell people working from @ @ @ @ @ act .
It ’ s fair to say it wasn ’ t the only response @ @ @ @ @ .
Yep , and surely the lesson here is that Adam and everyone else can @ @ @ @ @ whatever gets you through the day ( and night ) .
And if you want @ @ @ @ @ you can find it on the LA Times website here .

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There’s a subReddit called ‘rare insults’ which does exactly that, a place for unusual, if not unique insults that you might want to hang onto for a special occasion.
And this is a classic of the genre, a winning response to a guy who went on Twitter to tell people working from home to smarten up their act.
Boom!
It’s fair to say it wasn’t the only response the author received on Twitter.
TFW I gotta put on some chinos because a thumb in a hat told me to. — Jadron (@OliveGardenJR) April 17, 2020
This is the best response so far – and I’ve had A LOT of responses! — Adam Tschorn (@ARTschorn) April 17, 2020
You’re a good sport, Adam — Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) April 17, 2020
Yep, and surely the lesson here is that Adam and everyone else can wear what they want, whatever gets you through the day (and night).
And if you want to read the article, you can find it on the LA Times website here.
Source Reddit u/CJR3


thepoke--2020-04-23--This Times column comparing lockdown with the Handmaid’s Tale had people facepalming into next week

We ’ re grateful to @ sarahvanpelt for highlighting this valuable lockdown take from the Times this week .
‘ @ @ @ @ @ bad as the headline , ’ says Sarah .
People weren ’ t able to @ @ @ @ @ … … so they did it on Twitter instead .
A guy just tried to @ @ @ @ @ to its author

Twitter
We’re grateful to @sarahvanpelt for highlighting this valuable lockdown take from the Times this week.
‘Oh, it is as bad as the headline,’ says Sarah.
People weren’t able to comment on the Times website …
Haha, I bet they fucking have been pic.twitter.com/rMP8HmGY7H — Sarah (@sarahvanpelt) April 20, 2020
… so they did it on Twitter instead.
The Handmaid’s Tale is about a world in which all domestic cleaners stop coming to work, right? Nightmare — Alex von Tunzelmann (@alexvtunzelmann) April 20, 2020
outsource my feminine mystique!!! oh wow — garry (@repeattofade) April 20, 2020
Hang on wait is she, uh. Wait. Is. I'm confused. Is she implying her cleaner is in fact her indoctrinated surrogate?
Has she read the book? Or any book? — Katie Halinski 🐦🦖 (@Liminalitea) April 20, 2020
I think that without the cleaner she's been forced to take on a handmaid-esque role??? Like, I feel like a big theme of the book is that actually wealthy white women were okay (would exploit handmaidens), the kind of person who would have a cleaner. — Lauren Scotland (@lauren_scotland) April 20, 2020
I had to queue for shopping last week. Just like in 1984. — Mr. Eddy (@Out_Uglier) April 20, 2020
Could have stopped here pic.twitter.com/k3j2dpbxJr — Ross (@queer_hellenic) April 20, 2020
READ MORE
A guy just tried to mansplain Handmaid’s Tale to its author
Source Twitter @sarahvanpelt


thepoke--2020-04-23--15 sideways looks at what’s going on with the coronavirus

The Chief Medical Officer has suggested that many aspects of the lockdown will have to continue until the end of @ @ @ @ @ but Oxford University has begun human trials of a vaccine , so there ’ s @ @ @ @ @ funny tweets are another reason to be positive , and we hope they give you @ @ @ @ @ if you thought you were losing it in isolation , here ’ s Tim Vine @ @ @ @ @ good-humoured reactions to help us all deal with the lockdown

Twitter
The Chief Medical Officer has suggested that many aspects of the lockdown will have to continue until the end of the year or longer, but Oxford University has begun human trials of a vaccine, so there’s reason for positivity.
These funny tweets are another reason to be positive, and we hope they give you a lift.
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I’ve tried to refrain from showing off my self-isolation cooking projects but today’s lunch was so good I had to share 😋 feel free to DM me for the recipe pic.twitter.com/shD8ziVU95 — Ruth Graham (@publicroad) April 21, 2020
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I miss deciding not to go out. — Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) April 21, 2020
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Overheard: So are we calling these armed Covid-19 protestors the “Flu Klux Klan?” Because if not that sounds like a missed opportunity. — George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) April 21, 2020
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It's a wee bit ironic, he's in scrubs and she's hanging out the passenger side of her best friend's ride trying to holler pic.twitter.com/T2g2UeafA8 — shawn (@nwahs086) April 21, 2020
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honest this is the longest I’ve been at my family home in 8 years. I’ve fully regressed. my dad just said he was making breakfast for tea and I fully lost my shit with excitement to the point I was asked to ‘calm it down’ — Lauren Pattison (@laurenpattison) April 19, 2020
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And if you had “Piers Morgan calls for a military government” in the 2020 events sweepstake, you share the jackpot with 37 million other people. — . (@twlldun) April 22, 2020
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It’s so easy to lose track during lockdown but today’s definitely Thrubesday. — Bethany Black (@BeffernieBlack) April 22, 2020
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I want someone to go on CNBC and use a ridiculous “letter” for their recovery prediction. “You know everyone keeps talking about a U or V shaped recovery, but all of our data suggests a *Q* shaped recovery.” — Jamie Catherwood (@jfc_3_) April 22, 2020
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Keeping people 6 feet away by grocery shopping with my skip-it — clean slate (@PleaseBeGneiss) April 21, 2020
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Can't decide whether to go to bed and lie there unable to go to sleep, or to stay up for ages making myself over-tired, and then not be able to go to sleep — Martin Belam (@MartinBelam) April 22, 2020
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Looking at Raab & thinking of Johnson, I'm reminded of an old broadcaster who once advised me to make sure that my holiday cover was always much, much worse at the job than me. (Obviously, I have always ignored this advice.) — James O'Brien (@mrjamesob) April 22, 2020
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Can't wait for Boris Johnson's announcement that he has bought a £Bn of Hydroxychloroquine off Trump — HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) April 23, 2020
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Mastermind are taking this social distancing a bit far pic.twitter.com/G0cViM7uzm — Matt Winning (@mattywin85) April 22, 2020
Finally, if you thought you were losing it in isolation, here’s Tim Vine.
READ MORE
14 of the best good-humoured reactions to help us all deal with the lockdown
Image shawn


thepoke--2020-04-23--Donald Trump’s favourite film is Mutiny on the Bounty and this is the only reply you need

To the world of Donald Trump , where a little while ago he was merrily tweeting to all his followers @ @ @ @ @ Mutiny on the Bounty .
And there was no shortage of replies but you really @ @ @ @ @ one .
And just in case Trump needs a refresher … The audio of Trump @ @ @ @ @ with this ‘ drunk woman in club ’ it ’ s uncanny

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To the world of Donald Trump, where a little while ago he was merrily tweeting to all his followers how his favourite film is Mutiny on the Bounty.
Tell the Democrat Governors that “Mutiny On The Bounty” was one of my all time favorite movies. A good old fashioned mutiny every now and then is an exciting and invigorating thing to watch, especially when the mutineers need so much from the Captain. Too easy! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 14, 2020
And there was no shortage of replies but you really only need one. This one.
‘I can 100% guarantee that he has never watched that movie all the way through.’ FunnyItWorkedLastTim
And just in case Trump needs a refresher …
READ MORE
The audio of Trump talking Covid-19 goes so well with this ‘drunk woman in club’ it’s uncanny
H/T Reddit


thepoke--2020-04-23--Tinder takedown of the week

Tinder takedown of the week

Not every ( any ) conversation on Tinder goes the way you hoped it would .
‘ Then wait til @ @ @ @ @ before she sends.
’ userunknowned ‘ Oh my god I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST ME @ @ @ @ @ IN MY SUFFERING !
’ Aegon95 ‘ I ’ m 90 % sure that last @ @ @ @ @ of sugar daddy and I can ’ t stop laughing ’

Popular
Not every (any) conversation on Tinder goes the way you hoped it would.
‘Then wait til she starts typing and unmatch before she sends.’ userunknowned ‘Oh my god I THOUGHT THAT WAS JUST ME. I AM NOT ALONE IN MY SUFFERING!’ Aegon95
READ MORE
‘I’m 90% sure that last line is a Google translation of sugar daddy and I can’t stop laughing’
Source Reddit u/Damsai_


thepoke--2020-04-23--The Mayor of Las Vegas offered its citizens up as a Covid-19 control group – 6 sick burns

Journalist and news anchor , Anderson Cooper , could hardly contain his amazement during this live interview with the Mayor @ @ @ @ @ can ’ t blame him .
tl ; dr – Carolyn Goodman offered up the @ @ @ @ @ some kind of human sacrifice to the God of Gambling , while not being prepared @ @ @ @ @ herself .
Her brutal attitude went down as well as you ’ d expect .
@ @ @ @ @ lives of Las Vegas residents wasn ’ t the only thing people were talking about @ @ @ @ @ talking Covid-19 goes so well with this ‘ drunk woman in club ’ it ’ @ @

Twitter
Journalist and news anchor, Anderson Cooper, could hardly contain his amazement during this live interview with the Mayor of Las Vegas. We can’t blame him.
Las Vegas Mayor offers city as "control group", "we offer to be a control group" to see how many people die without social distancing. pic.twitter.com/NESE2hActE — Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) April 22, 2020
tl;dr – Carolyn Goodman offered up the citizens of Las Vegas like some kind of human sacrifice to the God of Gambling, while not being prepared to lie on the altar herself.
Her brutal attitude went down as well as you’d expect.
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The @mayoroflasvegas Carolyn Goodman should resign before lunch arrives today. She is an embarrassment to my hometown. — Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) April 22, 2020
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Wow— the Mayor of Las Vegas Carolyn Goodman is a dangerous fool. Watch this and always remember how important your vote is. There are some really stupid people out there who can end your life. https://t.co/yqczHirtrI — Judd Apatow (@JuddApatow) April 22, 2020
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this pandemic has turned everyone into characters in Robocop https://t.co/AscRVXe6Xi — Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 22, 2020
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Hey FYI I’ve done a few interviews in my day where I was very drunk and offered up a whole city to potentially get sick and maybe some die for the sake of a few friends of mine. Cmon! https://t.co/SeIINKTYZV — h. jon benjamin (@HJBenjamin) April 22, 2020
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Perhaps surprisingly, enlisting a large group of people in a lethal experiment without asking for consent and without oversight by an ethics committee is, in fact, frowned upon in most scientific circles. — Dr. Jens Foell (@fMRI_guy) April 22, 2020
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Literally – any asshole can get elected to office in America. This woman is dangerous. https://t.co/uUaCChFMRF — Meghan McCain (@MeghanMcCain) April 22, 2020
Her flagrant disregard for the lives of Las Vegas residents wasn’t the only thing people were talking about.
Hang on, how did Eddie Izzard end up as mayor of Las Vegas? https://t.co/Ou67LtMEhu — MajorBloodnok 🏴🇮🇪🇪🇺 (@MajorMcBloodnok) April 22, 2020
So rude. To Eddie.
READ MORE
The audio of Trump talking Covid-19 goes so well with this ‘drunk woman in club’ it’s uncanny
Source Josh Marshall Image Josh Marshall


thepoke--2020-04-23--The Pope said people were like ‘human bats’ and the takedown by this bat fan was heaven sent

Pope Francis compared people to ‘ human bats ’ in a tweet because we ‘ find it easier to live @ @ @ @ @ reveals to us what we do not want to see ’ .
And not everyone @ @ @ @ @ when we say not everyone , we mean specifically a Twitter account called @ GiveBatsABreak @ @ @ @ @ time to point out why his Holiness was entirely mistaken .
And here ’ s @ @ @ @ @ followed .
Beautifully done , and we can only assume Pope Francis will be addressing @ @ @ @ @ sermon .
At night , obviously .
There ’ s only one thing for it @ @ @ @ @ !
You ’ ve got to see the Pope ’ s face when he turns @ @ @ @ @ .
You ’ ve just got to

Twitter
Pope Francis compared people to ‘human bats’ in a tweet because we ‘find it easier to live in darkness because the light reveals to us what we do not want to see’.
And not everyone appreciated it. Well, when we say not everyone, we mean specifically a Twitter account called @GiveBatsABreak which took a bit of time to point out why his Holiness was entirely mistaken.
First, here’s the Pope’s tweet.
When we are in a state of sin, we are like "human bats" who can move about only at night. We find it easier to live in darkness because the light reveals to us what we do not want to see. But then our eyes grow accustomed to darkness and we no longer recognize the light. — Pope Francis (@Pontifex) April 22, 2020
And here’s the rather glorious takedown that followed.
On the contrary Holy Father, the darkness brings to the bat precisely that which it DOES want to face, not what it doesn’t. Bats are not under the cover of night committing crimes for which it should be ashamed, but providing invaluable services to our ecosystems and communities. — Give 🦇 A Break (@GiveBatsABreak) April 22, 2020
Bats pollinate a wide range of flowers and trees that give entire countries their goods for export; they eat literal tons of bugs per night and save farmers millions of $$ in pesticides, which also improves the quality of our food; they spread seed & help reforest after disaster. — Give 🦇 A Break (@GiveBatsABreak) April 22, 2020
Really, bats are a better represented by Our Lord’s words in Matt. 6:1 when He teaches, “Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them…” Bats practice their good works in the darkness and serve as an example to how diligent in service we ought to be. — Give 🦇 A Break (@GiveBatsABreak) April 22, 2020
And all this in the face of constant disrespect, threat of injury and death, very little thanks or praise from humans. We ought to “not grow weary in well-doing” as St Paul says and expect to be hated in spite of the good we do. THEN we will be like bats. — Give 🦇 A Break (@GiveBatsABreak) April 22, 2020
Beautifully done, and we can only assume Pope Francis will be addressing this issue in his next sermon. At night, obviously.
https://twitter.com/geofflemon/status/1253128901670256640?s=20
Whoever is doing the PR for bats deserves a pay rise. pic.twitter.com/8UWI5whbgC — Andrew Bloch (@AndrewBloch) April 23, 2020
you have to imagine the bats person waking up to their routine twitter search alert like "oh come on, really??" https://t.co/1hNgVlqwjr — voluntary long-term quarantine continues (@__vlqc) April 23, 2020
does this make the bat account the new pope — Ben Lieberman (@ben_lieberman) April 23, 2020
I believe that is the orthodoxy, yes — Geoff Lemon 🍋 (@geofflemon) April 23, 2020
There’s only one thing for it. To the Batican City!
READ MORE
You’ve got to see the Pope’s face when he turns to look at Donald Trump. You’ve just got to
H/T @geofflelemon


thepoke--2020-04-24--4 favourite things people said about Charles and Camilla ‘clapping’ for carers

Clapping for carers has become something of a Thursday night tradition and this time Charles and Camilla took part .
@ @ @ @ @ ordinarily bother you with but , well , just watch whatever the hell this is @ @ @ @ @ they look a little bit awkward , you ’ re not alone .
Here are @ @ @ @ @ said about it .
Just 33 funny tweets about Donald Trump curing Covid-19 with disinfectant

Twitter
Clapping for carers has become something of a Thursday night tradition and this time Charles and Camilla took part.
Which we wouldn’t ordinarily bother you with but, well, just watch whatever the hell this is.
👏👏👏 #ClapForOurCarers The Duke and Duchess of Rothesay have joined the nation once again to show their continued appreciation and support for all the NHS staff and other key workers on the frontline of the battle against coronavirus. Thank you! 💙 pic.twitter.com/OECWvtSyWo — Clarence House (@ClarenceHouse) April 23, 2020
And if you think they look a little bit awkward, you’re not alone. Here are our favourite 4 things people said about it.
https://twitter.com/chiefbrody1984/status/1253420578305765376?s=20
my parents coming to my dressing room after watching me die on stage pic.twitter.com/74CAPPkvHX — lolly (@lollyadefope) April 24, 2020
hahahaaaaa Camilla clearly thinks this is all ridiculous, look at her face, god bless her https://t.co/YB7NXKCdou — Marie Le Conte (@youngvulgarian) April 23, 2020
When your Sims like the hot tub you bought them pic.twitter.com/exKS2w5O5Q — simon buschenfeld (@buschenfeld) April 24, 2020
READ MORE
Just 33 funny tweets about Donald Trump curing Covid-19 with disinfectant


thepoke--2020-04-24--The Onion joked about Trump curing Covid-19 with disinfectant a full month before it became reality

Just when Trump ’ s batshit crazy proclamations about disinfectant and Covid-19 couldn ’ t get any weirder , along @ @ @ @ @ been sharing this Onion story from last month which basically pre-empted everything the so-called president @ @ @ @ @ thought they were joking .
They were wrong .
‘ EVANSTON , WY—Throwing bottles of @ @ @ @ @ Drano into a cart at his local grocery store , area man Troy Mitchell was @ @ @ @ @ of every cleaning product he could find Wednesday in case President Donald Trump announces it @ @ @ @ @ “ I got toilet bowl cleaner , carpet cleaner , Swiffer WetJet refills—you name it—just @ @ @ @ @ will be ready if the president announces one of these things can treat Chinese virus @ @ @ @ @ ‘ You can read the whole story here .
And here are just a few @ @ @ @ @ saying about it .
Just 33 funny tweets about Donald Trump curing Covid-19 with disinfectant

Twitter
Just when Trump’s batshit crazy proclamations about disinfectant and Covid-19 couldn’t get any weirder, along comes this.
People have been sharing this Onion story from last month which basically pre-empted everything the so-called president had to say.
They thought they were joking. They were wrong.
Man Just Buying One Of Every Cleaning Product In Case Trump Announces It’s Coronavirus Cure https://t.co/3bKatQGz04 pic.twitter.com/0kkhWzjl98 — The Onion (@TheOnion) March 25, 2020
‘EVANSTON, WY—Throwing bottles of bleach, ammonia, and Drano into a cart at his local grocery store, area man Troy Mitchell was reportedly stocking up on one of every cleaning product he could find Wednesday in case President Donald Trump announces it is a coronavirus cure. “I got toilet bowl cleaner, carpet cleaner, Swiffer WetJet refills—you name it—just so me and my family will be ready if the president announces one of these things can treat Chinese virus,” said Mitchell … ‘
You can read the whole story here. And here are just a few of the things people were saying about it.
I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire, not a breaking news station. https://t.co/GogkzulKDf — Sarah McGonagall (@sarahmcgphoto) April 24, 2020
https://twitter.com/LoveAndShalom/status/1253696346567192582?s=20
the onion is less satire and more full-blown prophetic scripture rn pic.twitter.com/eLB1bT3mMQ — SheRa Marley, but far away (@SheRa_Marley) April 24, 2020
The staff of The Onion. pic.twitter.com/qmxE30g4q6 — Paul Wu-Tang Clan (@PaulWuster) April 24, 2020
remember when Onion articles rarely came true? https://t.co/XO6kVUWHYq — Fred Delicious (@Fred_Delicious) April 24, 2020
This was a month ago. Not even the actual fake news is wrong anymore. https://t.co/MKM2HOksep — Tim Johnson (@TimJohnsonMN) April 24, 2020
Can the Onion stop predicting the future please https://t.co/oi1s3g8uvf — Esdainn Lilly Aurora☪ (@Aurora_Lilly282) April 24, 2020
The Onion announced it will close its publication citing its writers can no longer come up with anything more absurd than actual fucking news. — Rebecca Blanton (@auntievice) April 24, 2020
Is 30 days from @TheOnion to reality a record? https://t.co/ftYzIePsUR — Rachel Manteuffel (@RachelMan2) April 24, 2020
READ MORE
Just 33 funny tweets about Donald Trump curing Covid-19 with disinfectant


thepoke--2020-04-24--‘The single funniest thing to happen on TV’

Here ’ s the late , great American actor Ernest Borgnine revealing the secret to how he looked like a @ @ @ @ @ he was 91 .

Videos
Here’s the late, great American actor Ernest Borgnine revealing the secret to how he looked like a man in his 60s when he was 91.
It’s 18 seconds very well spent.
The single funniest thing to happen on TV pic.twitter.com/uG1uAOhAp7 — Joe McAdam (@joemcadam) April 23, 2020
‘I don’t dare tell you …’
Ernest BorgTEN — Asymmetric Warfarin (@InspectorHound4) April 23, 2020
Source Twitter @joemcadam


thepoke--2020-04-24--The look on this expert’s face as Trump talks disinfectant and Covid-19 is everything

You ’ ll have seen by now Donald Trump ’ s theory that disinfectant could be the cure for Covi-19 @ @ @ @ @ no shortage of responses online , as you might imagine .
But not many spoke @ @ @ @ @ look on the face of Dr Birx , Trump ’ s response co-ordinator and expert @ @ @ @ @ , as she listened to the so-called president bullock on .
Just 33 funny tweets @ @ @ @ @ with disinfectant

Twitter
You’ll have seen by now Donald Trump’s theory that disinfectant could be the cure for Covid-19.
There’s been no shortage of responses online, as you might imagine.
But not many spoke quite so loudly as the look on the face of Dr Birx, Trump’s response co-ordinator and expert in this sort of thing, as she listened to the so-called president bollock on.
Have a watch.
Here is Dr. Birx’s reaction when President Trump asks his science advisor to study using UV light on the human body and injecting disinfectant to fight the coronavirus. pic.twitter.com/MVno5X7JMA — Daniel Lewis (@Daniel_Lewis3) April 24, 2020
Spoke volumes.
Imagine being Dr Birx, one of the world’s leading experts in immunology, vaccine research and global health, having to sit through this shit. pic.twitter.com/yqgnSLOjHH — Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) April 24, 2020
An entire age summarised by one long slow zoom onto the face of a doctor whilst the President suggests her profession just hasn’t thought about shooting up bleach yet pic.twitter.com/ZQI9fBiejt — James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 24, 2020
Dr Birx is all of us pic.twitter.com/pwyamhDSCC — Tim Burgess (@Tim_Burgess) April 24, 2020
One question remained, however, and it was quite an important one.
Why do they just sit/stand there? pic.twitter.com/X9AbiDTrzF — John Harris (@johnharris1969) April 24, 2020
READ MORE
Just 33 funny tweets about Donald Trump curing Covid-19 with disinfectant


thepoke--2020-04-24--Just 33 funny tweets about Donald Trump curing Covid-19 with disinfectant

Donald Trump hit something resembling peak Donald Trump when he suggested injecting yourself with disinfectant might be the way to @ @ @ @ @ seasoned Trump-watchers who have grown used to this sort of thing were taken aback .
@ @ @ @ @ no end of comment and lots and lots of jokes on Twitter .
Here are @ @ @

Twitter
Donald Trump hit something resembling peak Donald Trump when he suggested injecting yourself with disinfectant might be the way to beat Covid-19.
And even seasoned Trump-watchers who have grown used to this sort of thing were taken aback. Do what?
“The disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning. It gets in the lungs” — Trump seems to suggests that injecting disinfectant inside people could be a treatment for the coronavirus pic.twitter.com/amis9Rphsm — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 23, 2020
It prompted no end of comment and lots and lots of jokes on Twitter. Here are our favourites.
1.
"Wash thirteen times a day in Domestos, dry yourself on a sunbed each time for two hours, then inject a quart of Dettol, it's so simple, I've been doing it all my life and I look great, don't I look great? people always say I look great" pic.twitter.com/gF46oeG1fB — HappyToast ★ (@IamHappyToast) April 24, 2020
2.
How to medical pic.twitter.com/0EDqJcy38p — Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) April 24, 2020
3.
Following a very productive phone call with Donald Trump, I would like to hear from any UK companies that can turn over their production line to making Dettol, Domestos, Cillit Bang and Toilet Duck.#disinfectant — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) April 24, 2020
4.
Never normally do this but are there any science doctors out there who can help me? I've ran out of Toilet Duck to shoot up, will I get the same effect from freebasing Persil Non-Bio? — James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 24, 2020
5.
I had this totally crazy dream last night that the president of the United States suggested injecting people with cleaning agents as a coronavirus treatment. Wonder what it means. — George Conway (@gtconway3d) April 24, 2020
6.
Heard my neighbours having a row over whether or not it was a good idea to inject bleach to cure coronavirus. It got a bit heated so I phoned the police to report a domestos disturbance. (I’m not even sorry) — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 24, 2020
7.
Awake to find The President Of The United States has floated the idea of injecting bleach into the body to cure Coronavirus.
Perhaps we might also inject Alphabet Soup into him to see if he can start forming coherent sentences. — Danny Baker (@prodnose) April 24, 2020
8.
9.
10.
enjoying all the doctors doing the "I am a qualified doctor and you should not drink bleach" tweets, listen up everyone I am not a qualified doctor and I struggle to take my jumper off without my t-shirt riding up exposing my belly and I also advise you to not drink bleach — joe (@mutablejoe) April 24, 2020
11.
My new children’s song – Don’t Inject Yourself With Bleach. pic.twitter.com/s3LjuueoWc — Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) April 24, 2020
12.
Exclusive look at the Mar-a-Lago drinks menu. pic.twitter.com/MahqQUi5Ad — The Poke (@ThePoke) April 24, 2020
13.
https://twitter.com/WelshGasDoc/status/1253462161671815169?s=20
14.
15.
https://twitter.com/hibeesfamily/status/1253620688612712449?s=20
16.
https://twitter.com/polbikers/status/1253609738186735616?s=20


thepoke--2020-04-24--13 favourite Cillit Bang jokes after Donald Trump says inject disinfectant to cure Covid-19

As you have no doubt noticed by now , Donald Trump ’ s excelled even his own low – very @ @ @ @ @ suggesting that injecting disinfectant might be a good way to cure Covid-19 .
In the @ @ @ @ @ … … and it naturally prompted lots of jokes on Twitter , quite a few @ @ @ @ @ s very own Cillit Bang .
Here are our favourites .
Donald Trump wants to @ @ @ @ @ into Covid-19 patients – 12 stunned responses

Twitter
As you have no doubt noticed by now, Donald Trump’s excelled even his own low – very low – standards today by suggesting that injecting disinfectant might be a good way to cure Covid-19.
In the unlikely event you missed it …
This orange clown is truly a moron, inject some Cillit Bang and a hour on a sun-bed and boom the virus is gone…🎃🤡🦠pic.twitter.com/32VW3jiQZP — Roddy Millar (@I_Am_RJM) April 24, 2020
… and it naturally prompted lots of jokes on Twitter, quite a few of them about Blighty’s very own Cillit Bang. Here are our favourites.
1.
Honestly, two swigs of Cillit Bang and I’ve completely forgotten I had a cough and who my parents are. — Michael Legge (@michaellegge) April 24, 2020
2.
Following a very productive phone call with Donald Trump, I would like to hear from any UK companies that can turn over their production line to making Dettol, Domestos, Cillit Bang and Toilet Duck.#disinfectant — Dettol (@BorisJohnson_MP) April 24, 2020
3.
"Hi, I'm Barry Scott. If it can clean an old penny, just imagine what it can do for your lungs. Cillit Bang, give it a go …. BANG ! and the virus has gone" pic.twitter.com/X6LFWelaVx — Rupert Trousers (@RupertTrousers) April 24, 2020
4.
"OK, before the press conference starts, get onto your broker and go big on Domestos, Cillit Bang and Toilet Duck." pic.twitter.com/Ji0uWEvZ5y — Keith Burge (@carryonkeith) April 24, 2020
5.
Choose a car, choose a new home, choose cable TV, choose football, choose Dettol, Choose Toilet Duck, choose Cillit Bang. Choose Zoflora
Choose painful death. You fucking idiot, Trump. pic.twitter.com/FVVse7lr51 — RL Disciplinary (@RugbyDiscipline) April 24, 2020
6.
I hear Cillit Bang have a new advert. It's so much better than Dettol and Domestos. pic.twitter.com/dOACQykZ89 — WinLunGSD (@WinLunGSD) April 24, 2020
7.
world's most powerful man wants you to mainline cillit bang on a sunbed — SheRa Marley, but far away (@SheRa_Marley) April 24, 2020
8.
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CILLIT BANG pic.twitter.com/LUigtFa98Q — Martin Coulter (@martinjbcoulter) April 24, 2020
9.
Red Neck Self Immunisation Equipment Cillit Bang primed into the bike pump, inserted where the sun don't shine (easy access direct to lungs trust me, but I'm not a Doctor) But why the Collander? Protect me against 5G radiation, worn on head at jaunty angle ensures protection! pic.twitter.com/EpKK4He1YW — Fat Bloke Travels (@caravanliving) April 24, 2020
10.
He should be the first person to try the Cillit Bang injection. BANG and the president is gone. — dominiccummingsoficial (@DomCumOfficial) April 24, 2020
11.
Spraying Cillit Bang directly into the lungs is fatal – in the short term. But there's been no research whatsoever into the long term effects. — Joe Dick (@whatjoewrote) April 24, 2020
12.
We need to conduct a properly controlled trial, in which one group is injected with Dettol and another is injected with Cillit Bang. — Carl Maxim (@carlmaxim) April 24, 2020
13.
Cillit Bang to launch a new Donald Trump version of their product. pic.twitter.com/lsEtUVIGMu — The Poke (@ThePoke) April 24, 2020
READ MORE
Donald Trump wants to put UV light and disinfectant into Covid-19 patients – 12 stunned responses


thepoke--2020-04-24--25 virus-free funny things from this week

Happy Friday , everyone .
What ’ s Friday ?
What ’ s a day ?
Hands up if you @ @ @ @ @ for !
Enough of that nonsense – here are 25 very funny tweets from this @ @

Twitter
Happy Friday, everyone. What’s Friday? What’s a day? Hands up if you remember what a calendar was for!
Enough of that nonsense – here are 25 very funny tweets from this week.
1.
Would definitely recommend yoga to anyone who enjoys being upside down and in agony — Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) April 20, 2020
2.
fleeting moment of dad victory today as I told a joke my 12yr old laughed at but then it became clear that she wants trainers — joe (@mutablejoe) April 19, 2020
3.
Must be Dutch with a name like that https://t.co/wWXtAPd6II — Paul_Ed (@eddo75) April 18, 2020
4.
5.
Who called it a monastery and not monkey business — Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳🌈 (@craiguito) April 19, 2020
6.
Telly show idea. Great Escape To The Country. A couple look around three cottages before being shot by some Germans. — GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) April 19, 2020
7.
Opinions are like horses: I have 8 and they are all bad — horse deals (@heymermaid) April 21, 2020
8.
Me: Pad Thai please Server: sir, this is a McDonald's Me: sorry. McPad McThai McPlease — Pessimus Prime Minister (@BigJDubz) April 18, 2020
9.
Posting a joke online as a comedian and having a bunch of random people tell you why it’s not funny/not true must be how doctors feel when I roll in with WebMD and tell them that men get thrush too. — Daniel Muggleton (@danmuggleton) April 17, 2020
10.
MY PRINTER (needy): I have to have more ink! Give me more ink! I am dying of thirst here! ALSO MY PRINTER: Go on then. Guess the unlikely combination of buttons to make me actually open up to allow you to replace the cartridges, loser — Martin Belam (@MartinBelam) April 20, 2020
11.
It’s like God made blossom trees to show the cement that a bit of blusher and mascara never hurt anyone. — Aisling Bea (@WeeMissBea) April 19, 2020
12.


thepoke--2020-04-24--15 wry observations on where we are with the lockdown

Let ’ s leave the serious stuff to the politicians and newsreaders for a little while and we ’ ll @ @ @ @ @ stuff .

Pics
Let’s leave the serious stuff to the politicians and newsreaders for a little while and we’ll just concentrate on the funny stuff.
Here’s the latest round-up.
1.
Lunch (The lemon is optional) pic.twitter.com/wTEdceNy0H — Robert Rinder (@RobbieRinder) April 22, 2020
2.
I thought the disapproving look I got in Tesco was for a social distancing failure until I remembered that (a) I was still wearing my work ID and (b) I had defaced it. pic.twitter.com/uSlaj9PCuh — alexis (@lexistwit) April 23, 2020
3.
Making noise to celebrate the NHS.
A week by week guide.#ClapForTheNHS pic.twitter.com/vfG4NWI6Gx — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 23, 2020
4.
Does anyone know Brian Moran!!?? Apparently he holds the key to all this civil stuff!! pic.twitter.com/pGk4vVZmQq — Brian Leonard (@BrianLeonardFR) April 20, 2020
5.
I have a real problem believing Matt Hancock on things. I am at the stage where I am 72 per cent certain he is not called Matt Hancock and is actually just an amateur hypnotist from Ipswich who got out of his depth. — Matt Haig (@matthaig1) April 23, 2020
6.
Stay safe out there guys. pic.twitter.com/gtdrPtoM3l — Daniel (@Mr_DrEsquire) April 23, 2020
7.
Blimey this lockdown is getting lonely. If it was like the war, at least we’d meet each other at night in an underground car park, and sit round the piano singing our favourite Wu-Tan-Clan songs. — Mark Steel (@mrmarksteel) April 23, 2020
8.
In what might be the classiest canapés ever created, I've just put some Primula cheese spread and Tabasco sauce onto some Frazzles. — Jason (@NickMotown) April 23, 2020
9.


thepoke--2020-04-24--This total own from Jeopardy’s Alex Trebek has resurfaced because it’s just so devastating

Here ’ s a clip of Jeopardy host , Alex Trebek , learning about something called Nerdcore Hip-hop , which @ @ @ @ @ us .
He didn ’ t seem impressed .
So few words – such a @ @ @ @ @ re glad to see the contestant didn ’ t seem to take it to heart @ @ @ @ @ been buzzing around again after being shared on Twitter – as is so often the @ @ @ @ @ was appreciated by some tweeters .
Best of all , after being called a loser @ @ @ @ @ a definite winner .
This guy ’ s takedown of his fellow contestant is an @ @ @ @ @

Pics
Here’s a clip of Jeopardy host, Alex Trebek, learning about something called Nerdcore Hip-hop, which we confess is new to us. He didn’t seem impressed.
So few words – such a devastating own. We’re glad to see the contestant didn’t seem to take it to heart.
The old clip has been buzzing around again after being shared on Twitter – as is so often the way.
She got absolutely owned by Alex Trebek and deserved it pic.twitter.com/WTYvFueLPo — 🥺😈 (@olivia_vault) April 22, 2020
The succinct burn was appreciated by some tweeters.
I WASN’T READY FOR THE ACCURACY https://t.co/hBIjCT1iP5 — April (@ReignOfApril) April 23, 2020
A few thought he’d overstepped the mark.
she's cute and this was really mean! https://t.co/okxctiZWIR — rax king-lalli-music (@RaxKingIsDead) April 23, 2020
Best of all, after being called a loser, contestant Susan Cole became a definite winner.
Susan Cole, the contestant Alex Trebek called a loser, is a 3 time Jeopardy champion. Risked $14,200 on Final Jeopardy & nailed it. #winner pic.twitter.com/yHL9ffEuEm — DAN (@danWorthington) October 14, 2016
via GIPHY
READ MORE
This guy’s takedown of his fellow contestant is an all-time great quiz show roast
Source YouTube Image YouTube


thepoke--2020-04-24--Waitrose product description cock-up of the day – and 8 more like it

This product description , shared by Bryan Roberts , is a good example of why you should always check your @ @ @ @ @ necessary .
Writer , Clare Pooley , recently shared the picture again , and it @ @ @ @ @ of the love it so obviously deserves .
Whoever wrote that should know that it @ @ @ @ @ words too long .
It wasn ’ t the first time something like that has @ @ @ @ @ It won ’ t be the last , either .
It just shows how much @ @ @ @ @ it is that BoJack Horseman made its own homage to the slip-up .
There is @ @ @ @ @ instructions on how to use stairs

Pics
This product description, shared by Bryan Roberts, is a good example of why you should always check your work – twice, if necessary.
Wonderful stuff from the Waitrose POS team pic.twitter.com/THhLRom2UA — Bryan Roberts (@BryanRoberts72) July 5, 2019
Writer, Clare Pooley, recently shared the picture again, and it has been getting even more of the love it so obviously deserves.
Whoever wrote that should know that it’s at least eight words too long.
It wasn’t the first time something like that has slipped through the net. It won’t be the last, either.
1.
A few years ago, we (Kellogg’s) were having some promotional spoon designs mocked up. When the agency asked what we wanted on this latest version, we replied “Just the Kellogg logo”. We got 200 of these delivered a week later. pic.twitter.com/FRz8ePTR7m — harpsjoey (@harps_joey) April 23, 2020
2.
Fantastic! I had a similar experience reading the manual for my fridge-freezer. pic.twitter.com/u0MCWRsPbV — Steve Tregidgo (@HedgeProtesting) April 23, 2020
3.
To my eternal shame.
National Magazine, 1990s. pic.twitter.com/hEseQJDFhz — Marcus Dyson (@DoctorDee69) April 23, 2020
4.
5.
The cake versions of this phenomenon are comical 😂 pic.twitter.com/Fat3ym8vql — Fineas Flabbergasted (@FineasFlabberg1) April 23, 2020
6.
That’s very good. Here’s another lovely example of that in a scientific paper:https://t.co/SFfqL16Lyw — Alan Kelly (@akellyucc) April 23, 2020
7.
Had a picture caption of a very similar nature end up in last month's magazine. pic.twitter.com/sI7W1Xswb1 — Nick Peters (@NickPeters_TM) April 23, 2020
8.
Spotted in a published journal article… pic.twitter.com/VHBMgUJWsX — Synthesis Editorial (@SynthesisEdit) April 23, 2020
It just shows how much a part of our culture it is that BoJack Horseman made its own homage to the slip-up.
READ MORE
There is something very wrong about these instructions on how to use stairs
Source Bryan Roberts Image Bryan Roberts


thepoke--2020-04-25--Just 19 nice things to try and cheer you up

Everything is still bleak and scary but here ’ s our weekly round-up of nice things we ’ ve seen @ @ @ @ @ cheer you up a bit .
Just 19 nice things to make you smile

Pics
Everything is still bleak and scary but here’s our weekly round-up of nice things we’ve seen this week to try and cheer you up a bit.
Stay safe. Stay at home.
1.
2.
Switched up one of my running routes a bit to help the distancing & came across these awesome cat shaped hedges pic.twitter.com/r8Wdq2dWdp — Natalie Sedacca (@nataliesedacca) April 19, 2020
3.
4.
After noticing that Ken slept with a photo of his late wife every night, one of the carers at Thistleton Lodge presented him with this incredible gift… pic.twitter.com/Q1v8V8HUFS — The Manc (@TheMancUK) April 20, 2020
5.
Please enjoy this video of a baby eating queso for the first time pic.twitter.com/vqW6QgvMUI — Alexis Benveniste (@apbenven) April 20, 2020
6.
My stupid fat cat has discovered the bean bag chair. pic.twitter.com/0V4M9ls89C — snorri (@lastunicori) April 20, 2020
7.
OMGOODNESS! Friends of my parents spotted these geese with SO MANY BABIES!! 😭♥♥♥♥♥♥ pic.twitter.com/jzjgvJFGa6 — 🍄🌱🐌ArtofMaquenda💀🦊🌈 (@ArtOfMaquenda) April 22, 2020
8.
Hello Twitter! I am two days old! #Porcupette pic.twitter.com/2NZBIipX3j — Newhouse Wildlife Rescue (@NewhouseRescue) April 23, 2020
9.
Oh, it’s just two little kittens sleeping… pic.twitter.com/mST1h7VEpa — Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney) April 23, 2020
10.


thepoke--2020-04-25--Donald Trump said his disinfectant remarks were ‘sarcastic’ – 4 perfect putdowns

Donald Trump has backtracked on his suggestion that injecting disinfectant might be a cure for Covid-19 .
And his attempt @ @ @ @ @ almost as funny – actually , it might be funnier – than his comments in @ @ @ @ @ these 4 put downs say it very well indeed .
Just in case you were @ @ @ @ @ course you weren ’ t in any doubt ) Also , this , from @ @ @ @ @ @ help .
Just 33 funny tweets about Donald Trump curing Covid-19 with disinfectant

Twitter
Donald Trump has backtracked on his suggestion that injecting disinfectant might be a cure for Covid-19.
And his attempt to cover his backside is almost as funny – actually, it might be funnier – than his comments in the first place.
Reporter: Could you clarify your comments on injections of disinfectants?
Trump: I was asking the question sarcastically to reporters like you just to see what would happen…
Reporter: But you were asking your medical experts to look into it pic.twitter.com/T0hzizjgpN — Acyn Torabi (@Acyn) April 24, 2020
And these 4 put downs say it very well indeed.
trump is saying that his comments about using disinfectant to fight COVID-19 were sarcastic. 1. He doesn't know what sarcasm is
2. He wasn't being sarcastic
3. He saw everyone laughing at his stupid ass, so he's backtracking
4. He's a complete moron All these things are true. pic.twitter.com/1ZfjJ7iIrX — BrooklynDad_Defiant! (@mmpadellan) April 24, 2020
“Sir, is it just limited to that comment or has your entire presidency been sarcastic?” — Craig Sherman @🏠🌊🌊🌊 (@craigpsherman) April 24, 2020
Sarcastic. You keep using this word. I do not think this word means what you think it means. pic.twitter.com/Kml25EkYjj — Jo (@JoJoFromJerz) April 24, 2020
Trump: I was being sarcastic about the disinfectant thing. I was just joking. Can’t you take a joke? A friend made it up. You wouldn’t know him though, he lives in another land. A big boy told me it then ran away. I can’t believe you fell for my prank. Idiots. Look! A squirrel! — Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) April 24, 2020
Just in case you were in any doubt (of course you weren’t in any doubt)
Here's a mashup of Trump claiming today he was just asking "a very sarcastic question to the reporters in the room" when he mused about disinfectant injections as a possible coronavirus miracle cure, followed by the original clip showing beyond a doubt that he was not doing that. pic.twitter.com/wby4ucd59Q — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) April 24, 2020
Also, this, from @Baddiel.
If it was a gag, as Trump is now claiming, I have to say it kind of died. https://t.co/HgxKAf9gGZ — David Baddiel (@Baddiel) April 24, 2020
Maybe this will help.
Since nobody was laughing at Trump’s “sarcastic” comments, I added a laugh track #TrumpIsALaughingStock pic.twitter.com/DpA0JjTX67 — ElElegante101 (@skolanach) April 25, 2020
To conclude …
I just want to make it clear that when I said that President Trump was mad ( in the English sense of demented, unbalanced, delusional and completely crackers ) I was of course being sarcastic I'm sorry if I failed to make this clear — John Cleese (@JohnCleese) April 24, 2020
READ MORE
Just 33 funny tweets about Donald Trump curing Covid-19 with disinfectant


thepoke--2020-04-27--Chaz Hutton has fixed the 2020 calendar – and it’s far too accurate

2020 is no ordinary year , so it really shouldn ’ t have an ordinary calendar .
Luckily , the @ @ @ @ @ take care of it .
Says it all , really .
Find more gems from @ @ @ @ @ reasons why Insta-chazz is our new favourite internet thing

Pics
2020 is no ordinary year, so it really shouldn’t have an ordinary calendar. Luckily, the very talented Chaz Hutton has take care of it.
Thought I’d draw a more accurate calendar for 2020 so far…. pic.twitter.com/hWB9W4PIAH — Chaz Hutton (@chazhutton) April 24, 2020
Says it all, really.
Adding to that thread of calendar meltdown: pic.twitter.com/DL9ek1vM34 — Holly Shantara (@onthegoguide) April 25, 2020
Find more gems from Chaz on Instagram.
READ MORE
11 reasons why Insta-chazz is our new favourite internet thing
Source Chaz Hutton Image Chaz Hutton, @edwynhooper on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-04-27--When the parents take self-isolation a bit too literally

Irish sketch trio , Foil Arms and Hog , have been in overdrive producing really funny quarantine content , and @ @ @ @ @ favourite .
It shows what happens when people take the self-isolation advice a little too @ @ @ @ @ what YouTube users thought of it .
‘ Can you tell me how to send @ @ @ @ @ me of that time my dad asked me how much it costs to send a @ @ @ @ @ explained why she doesn ’ t have to go through this .
“ Trying to @ @ @ @ @ in ” is the funny but frustrating truth

Videos
Irish sketch trio, Foil Arms and Hog, have been in overdrive producing really funny quarantine content, and this might just be our favourite.
It shows what happens when people take the self-isolation advice a little too far.
Here’s what YouTube users thought of it.
“A Tiktok in the Facebook” is painfully accurate, that is a quote straight from my grandmother 😂
Laura Preston
These quarantine sketches are mini-documentaries 😜
Heleendje
‘Can you tell me how to send a meme?’ reminds me of that time my dad asked me how much it costs to send a selfie.
Marie
Amelia Ford explained why she doesn’t have to go through this.
My gran can’t even do a video call on whatsapp so we don’t have to have these conversations
Amelia Ford
She’s probably too busy cooking next-door’s cat.
READ MORE
“Trying to get old people to stay in” is the funny but frustrating truth
Source Foil Arms and Hog Image Foil Arms and Hog


thepoke--2020-04-27--Dr Anthony Fauci wanted Brad Pitt to play him on SNL – and he did

During an interview with CNN ’ s Alisyn Camerota , leading virologist and White House advisor , Dr. Anthony Fauci @ @ @ @ @ he ’ d like to portray him if SNL featured him in a sketch and @ @ @ @ @ .
Makes perfect sense .
Just a couple of week ’ s later , this @ @ @ @ @ to the Twitter rant from the President .
This is what other people have been @ @ @ @ @ , Abdul El-Sayed , had this flattering take on the portrayal .
This forensic takedown @ @ @ @ @ non ) response to coronavirus is devastating

Videos
During an interview with CNN’s Alisyn Camerota, leading virologist and White House advisor, Dr. Anthony Fauci was asked to choose who he’d like to portray him if SNL featured him in a sketch and he opted for Brad Pitt. Makes perfect sense.
Just a couple of week’s later, this happened.
And now, a message from Dr. Anthony Fauci. #SNLAtHome pic.twitter.com/LYemNAWaAT — Saturday Night Live – SNL (@nbcsnl) April 26, 2020
We look forward to the Twitter rant from the President. This is what other people have been saying about it.
This might be the greatest thing I’ve ever seen https://t.co/pJAKDMRbP1 — Angry Staffer (@AngrierWHStaff) April 26, 2020
Why do I get the hunch that this Brad Pitt SNL video will piss Trump off more than the 54,000 deceased Americans? Awesome Job, Brad!pic.twitter.com/tiVeQ0e62K#SundayMorning — Ms. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) April 26, 2020
In these unnerving times, laughter is one contagion we can all hope to share. 🦠 https://t.co/oLYrEJh8JX — Trish Zornio (@trish_zornio) April 26, 2020
This is giving me so much joy I can barely stand it. https://t.co/GCIqJZmWFD — Elizabeth Wash Your Hands Thorp (@ElizabethEThorp) April 26, 2020
Epidemiologist, Abdul El-Sayed, had this flattering take on the portrayal.
It's not Dr. Fauci who's lucky to be played by Brad Pitt, it's Brad Pitt who's lucky to play Dr. Fauci. https://t.co/UQBgBUEwrb — Abdul El-Sayed (@AbdulElSayed) April 26, 2020
from Brad Pitt GIFs via Gfycat
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This forensic takedown of Trump’s (non) response to coronavirus is devastating
Source SNL Image SNL, Today


thepoke--2020-04-27--The only 5 reactions you need to the potential vaccine made from Tom Hanks’ blood

Just when you thought the news around Covid-19 couldn ’ t get any weirder , with Donald Trump ’ s @ @ @ @ @ in the body comments , science has turned around and mooned the world with this @ @ @ @ @ Hanks may have been the first A-lister to suffer from Covid-19 , TODAY Online ’ @ @ @ @ @ somewhat misplaced , but it ’ s still a Big deal that could make quite @ @ @ @ @ off .
If it doesn ’ t work , it ’ ll presumably be Cast @ @ @ @ @ were too good not to share .
As a bonus , comic creator , Adam @ @ @ @ @ play on the anti-vaxx schtick .
Tom Hanks has got coronavirus and the entire internet @ @ @ @ @ – 13 favourite responses

Twitter
Just when you thought the news around Covid-19 couldn’t get any weirder, with Donald Trump’s bleach injections and UV light in the body comments, science has turned around and mooned the world with this left-field move.
Tom Hanks' Blood Will be Used To Develop COVID-19 Vaccine https://t.co/AOeONFLgWQ pic.twitter.com/kasrPi2QoI — TODAY (@TODAYonline) April 22, 2020
Although Tom Hanks may have been the first A-lister to suffer from Covid-19, TODAY Online’s utter certainty is probably somewhat misplaced, but it’s still a Big deal that could make quite a Splash if it comes off. If it doesn’t work, it’ll presumably be Cast Away.
These five responses were too good not to share.
1.
And the Oscar goes to Tom Hanks for his role as Tom Hanks in “Pandemic” https://t.co/63XAfeDe7U — George M Johnson (@IamGMJohnson) April 25, 2020
2.
The film version of Covid19 really writes, directs and produces itself, doesn’t it? https://t.co/7fGFcY2uiX — Hazel Hayes (@TheHazelHayes) April 26, 2020
3.
Keep thinking things can’t get any weirder, then find out stuff like the only way we can save the world is to drain the blood of Forrest Gump. https://t.co/7qTDRyXQBP — James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 25, 2020
4.
Sucks that all the credit is going to Tom Hanks and not to me, the guy who sent the scientists a jar of Tom Hanks’ blood — pixelatedboat aka “mr tweets” (@pixelatedboat) April 26, 2020
5.
Film pitch: everyone gets the vaccine, becomes 17% more Tom Hanks, society improves immeasurably, The End https://t.co/9PQu5H3Nb7 — Greg Jenner: 'DEAD FAMOUS OUT MARCH 19TH!' (@greg_jenner) April 26, 2020
As a bonus, comic creator, Adam Ellis, had this hilarious play on the anti-vaxx schtick.
I refuse my give my children the Tom Hanks vaccine!!! I heard it'll make my kids artistic https://t.co/raWINaM7we — (@moby_dickhead) April 25, 2020
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Tom Hanks has got coronavirus and the entire internet is sending him their love – 13 favourite responses
Source TODAY Online Image CBS, @nci on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-04-27--Priti Patel had some good news about shoplifting – 7 scathing takedowns

Despite her disastrous attempt to read out the testing figures , Priti Patel is still allowed to hold the daily @ @ @ @ @ Street , and she ’ s not getting any better at it .
On the @ @ @ @ @ s Covid-19 casualties went above 20,000 , she informed the country that certain crime figures @ @ @ @ @ unsurprising announcement wasn ’ t taken the way she must have hoped .
The Iain @ @ @ @ @ actual figure – in Priti Patel ’ s world , that is .
Priti Patel @ @ @ @ @ of Covid-19 tests – our threevety-eleven favourite responses

News
Despite her disastrous attempt to read out the testing figures, Priti Patel is still allowed to hold the daily coronavirus briefings at 10 Downing Street, and she’s not getting any better at it.
On the day that the UK’s Covid-19 casualties went above 20,000, she informed the country that certain crime figures were down.
Absolutely outstanding. A government that won’t accept that lowering police numbers affects crime levels but will brag about shoplifting being lower during a time where there aren’t actually any shops to lift. pic.twitter.com/GCMxD5e196 — James Felton (@JimMFelton) April 25, 2020
Her completely unsurprising announcement wasn’t taken the way she must have hoped.
1.
Hi @patel4witham, would you like me to explain why shoplifting is down? #PritiVacant pic.twitter.com/4UCa770GJk — Will Black (@WillBlackWriter) April 25, 2020
2.
Re. Priti Patel bragging about the drop in shoplifting; I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say there’s probably also been a bit of a dip in car crashes, accidental drownings and people tripping over uneven paving stones. Call it a hunch. — Mitch Benn🇬🇧🇪🇺 (@MitchBenn) April 25, 2020
3.
#PritiPatel says shoplifting is down compared to last year.
Tomorrow we announce a dramatic reduction in football hooliganism and bar fights. #Covid_19 — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) April 25, 2020
4.
Possibly the highest Covid Fatalities in Europe, woeful preparations but look at the bright side, shoplifting is down. The shops are shut.
Had to listen to it twice to be sure what I heard. A mollusc in a toupee could've done better #PritiPatel — Sanjeev Bhaskar (@TVSanjeev) April 25, 2020
5.
as well as shoplifting being down #PritiPatel has also confirmed that UK deaths from volcanic eruptions are at an all time low — end of daves ❄ 🥕 🧻 (@davemacladd) April 25, 2020
6.
Did #PritiPatel just tell us that shoplifting was down compared to the same period last year? No shit, Sherlock #PritiVacant — @mskatestafford (@mskatestafford) April 25, 2020
7
This is unfair, and overlooks the vital contribution this visionary Home Secretary has made to not only reducing shoplifting, but virtually eliminating fights in pubs over the same period. https://t.co/KEgpvCYBIP — The Secret Barrister (@BarristerSecret) April 25, 2020
The Iain Duncan Smiths gave us the actual figure – in Priti Patel’s world, that is.
SHOPLIFTING DOWN TWELVETY THOUSAND HUNDRED AND FIFTEENY-EIGHT THOUSAND MILLION PER CENTS #PritiPatel pic.twitter.com/BZmu7SOoQM — TheIainDuncanSmiths (@TheIDSmiths) April 25, 2020
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Priti Patel struggled to report the number of Covid-19 tests – our threevety-eleven favourite responses
Image Telegraph, AFP screengrabs


thepoke--2020-04-28--‘Honest Trailers – Tiger King edition’ is as wild as you’d expect

If you haven ’ t watched the explosive true crime Netflix series , Tiger King , how have you resisted @ @ @ @ @ been baffled by all the memes ?
Do you even know what Carole Baskin allegedly @ @ @ @ @ video is pretty long , at over seven minutes , but it ’ s totally @ @ @ @ @ be the first time the real thing is crazier than the comedy trailer .
“ @ @ @ @ @ ” is quite possibly the best advice you ’ ll get today .
Ridiculous looking @ @ @ @ @ it becomes an internet laughing stock

Videos
If you haven’t watched the explosive true crime Netflix series, Tiger King, how have you resisted the urge? Have you been baffled by all the memes? Do you even know what Carole Baskin allegedly did?
This Honest Trailers video is pretty long, at over seven minutes, but it’s totally worth it.
This may be the first time the real thing is crazier than the comedy trailer.
“Never go full Joe Exotic” is quite possibly the best advice you’ll get today.
READ MORE
Ridiculous looking tiger statue is destroyed after it becomes an internet laughing stock
Source Screen Junkies Image Screen Junkies, @mikemarrah on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-04-28--Boris Johnson described Covid-19 as a mugger and got battered – 7 favourite reactions

Boris Johnson is back from sick leave and started his working week with a press briefing , in which he @ @ @ @ @ continue for the time being .
He also described Covid-19 as an invisible mugger .
@ @ @ @ @ a poor choice of words – shocking , we know .
We suspect this weary @ @ @ @ @ Amour could well be an evergreen tweet .
A Tory MP compared Boris Johnson to @ @ @ @ @ up mauled – 9 favourite takedowns

Twitter
Boris Johnson is back from sick leave and started his working week with a press briefing, in which he stated that the lockdown should continue for the time being. He also described Covid-19 as an invisible mugger.
“If this virus were a physical assailant, an unexpected and invisible mugger… then this is the moment when we have begun together to wrestle it to the floor.“ Boris Johnson speaks outside 10 Downing Street after recovering from Covid-19. pic.twitter.com/KQXCkpd9Rm — Channel 4 News (@Channel4News) April 27, 2020
The imagery might have been a poor choice of words – shocking, we know.
1.
I had an argument with my speechwriters over the bit where I talk about wrestling a mugger to the floor. I wanted them to use something based more on my own experience, but they didn't think burning £20 notes in front of a homeless person would work as well.#BORISISBACK — Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) April 27, 2020
2.
Political commentators: ‘His experience will have changed Boris Johnson, he’ll be more serious now’ Boris Johnson: ‘Look out, there’s an invisible mugger on the loose who is also killing people. But let’s not focus on the deaths.’ — Toby Earle (@TobyonTV) April 27, 2020
3.
At least Johnson has given me an incredible excuse for having no cash. “How come you haven’t paid your bills?”
“Invisible mugger. What can you do?”
“This is an acceptable reason. We won’t bother you again.” — Chris Hewitt (@ChrisHewitt) April 27, 2020
4.
Boris Johnson is right. The coronavirus is a mugger. It’s just that other countries saw it coming and crossed the road, while he strode up to it and shook it by the hand. Sketch here..https://t.co/18sa6KPyDd pic.twitter.com/5K10nMffvD — Tom Peck (@tompeck) April 27, 2020
5.
"maybe if 80% of the UK got mugged we would develop herd immunity to mugging" https://t.co/KtowPzpE3N — bobby 🚩 华侨 (@touchmybobby) April 27, 2020
6.
I wish he’d just talk normally. https://t.co/z6D5lOiWBb — Emma Kennedy (@EmmaKennedy) April 27, 2020
7.
honestly wondering whether a woman could have confidently said something this stupid https://t.co/jsj5690vvp — ابن بالدوين (@joeyayoub) April 27, 2020
We suspect this weary comment from Mitten D’Amour could well be an evergreen tweet.
Right, best we all get to sleep so we can wake up ready for another day of WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK DID HE JUST SAY?! — Mitten d'Amour (@MittenDAmour) April 26, 2020
READ MORE
A Tory MP compared Boris Johnson to the Lion King and ended up mauled – 9 favourite takedowns
Source Channel 4 News Image Guardian, @fusion_medical_animation on Unsplash


thepoke--2020-04-27--“Gary Barlow” duetting with himself is the sketch we didn’t know we needed

The coronavirus has had the side effect of causing another pandemic – that of celebrities uploading their quarantine videos to @ @ @ @ @ ve seen Gary Barlow perform Matt Lucas ’ Thank You Baked Potato and in a @ @ @ @ @ during the Big Night In charity broadcast , among many other recordings hashtagged # CroonerSessions @ @ @ @ @ really killing that time .
Now , the multitalented Luke Kempner has shown us what @ @ @ @ @ Gary Barlow were to record a duet of Take That ’ s hit , Rule @ @ @ @ @ impression has rightly been getting a lot of love .
One reaction may have carried @ @ @ @ @ the others , however .
Comedian Sooz Kempner ’ s thread about her old job @ @ @ @ @ the year

Videos
The coronavirus has had the side effect of causing another pandemic – that of celebrities uploading their quarantine videos to the internet.
We’ve seen Gary Barlow perform Matt Lucas’ Thank You Baked Potato and in a duet with Andrew Lloyd Webber during the Big Night In charity broadcast, among many other recordings hashtagged #CroonerSessions. The man’s really killing that time.
Now, the multitalented Luke Kempner has shown us what it might be like if Gary Barlow were to record a duet of Take That’s hit, Rule The World.
The brilliant impression has rightly been getting a lot of love.
Genius! Hilarious!!! And had no idea what a great singer 👍👍😲 — Chris Snelling (@chrissnelling) April 20, 2020
One reaction may have carried a little more weight than the others, however.
SO good, this- technically and performance-wise. And fabulous harmonies too. He’s good, that @LukeKempner https://t.co/8tmzABSvpt — Rory Bremner (@rorybremner) April 27, 2020
High praise from the master.
READ MORE
Comedian Sooz Kempner’s thread about her old job is the gritty comedy-drama of the year
Source Luke Kempner Image Luke Kempner