thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--There's A Contraception Shortage. Here's What You Need To Know

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Women and girls are struggling to access contraception in the UK, say health bodies, who warn that the ongoing issue could lead to a rise in unplanned pregnancies and abortions.
For a while now, women have struggled to access hormone replacement therapy (HRT) due to manufacturing and supply issues, but many have had problems accessing contraception as well.
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The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG), British Menopause Society and Faculty of Sexual and Reproductive Healthcare have written to the Secretary of State for Health and Social Care, Matt Hancock, calling for a working group to be set up to address ongoing supply constraints.
Dr Edward Morris, president of the RCOG, said HRT supply issues should begin to improve from February. However, a number of HRT medications and contraceptives remain unavailable – some until the end of this year and some with no timeline as to when they’ll be available.
When pushed on this, the Department of Health and Social Care (DHSC), told HuffPost UK: “We understand how distressing medicine shortages are and we want to reassure patients we are doing everything we can to help them access treatments as soon as possible.
“We are working closely with suppliers and partners to resolve this as soon as possible and ensure relevant information is shared across the NHS on a regular basis.”
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What are the risks?
Women have previously told HuffPost UK it’s taken them up to 12 years to find a contraceptive that suits their body and doesn’t land them with horrendous side effects. Some reported that certain hormonal contraceptives have caused them symptoms of depression, suicidal thoughts, weight gain, mood swings, inflamed skin and swollen breasts.
The latest issues in accessing preferred contraceptives mean women are being forced to use alternatives – or nothing at all – risking poor physical and mental wellbeing, as well as unplanned pregnancy. There’s concern that not being able to access contraceptives will affect the most vulnerable in our society, too.
Dr Morris said the lack of transparency around why these shortages have occurred is “extremely frustrating”.
“Thousands of women and girls have been adversely affected by this ongoing situation and they deserve better,” he said.
Dr Asha Kasliwal, president of the Faculty of Sexual and Reproductive Healthcare (FSRH), said women are sent away with prescriptions for unavailable products and end up “lost in a system” that is “frustrating” to navigate. She added: “This is causing utter chaos for patients, clinicians and pharmacists.”
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What contraceptive methods are impacted?
A DHSC spokesperson confirmed the following contraceptive pills are affected:
:: Synphase. The manufacturer advises that supplies will be available from the end of this week.
:: Noriday. Limited supplies are available until the end of February 2020.
:: Norimin. Currently out of stock and the supplier is unable to advise on a resupply date.
Other forms of contraceptives affected include:
:: Sayana Press (Medroxyprogesterone acetate 104mg) injection. Supplies are expected to be available from early March 2020.
Dr Kasliwal said in the case of Sayana Press, which is a self-injectable contraceptive, a truly equivalent alternative does not exist.
“Women who use Sayana Press now have to see a healthcare professional to access a non-self-injectable alternative, which is undoubtedly an extra burden for them, increasing demand in busy GP practices and sexual and reproductive healthcare clinics,” she said.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Tracy Brabin Had The Best Reaction To Being Trolled Over 'Shouldergate' Dress

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Tracy Brabin has raised £2,000 – and counting – to help a charity empower young women by auctioning the off-the-shoulder dress that drew sexist criticism when she wore it in the Commons.
The shadow digital, media, culture and sport minister was forced to defend her attire after the dress slipped down her shoulder when she leaned on the despatch box due to a broken ankle on Tuesday.
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Trolls branded the Labour MP “a slapper” and “a slag” while she called the government out for its attempt to selectively ban news outlets – including HuffPost UK – from briefings on Monday.
It was pointed out that male MPs had not faced the same level of abuse for dressing casually in the Commons. One had worn a tracksuit and football shirt and said he received far less vitriol. It was also pointed out that Jacob Rees-Mogg had felt comfortable physically reclining on the front bench during a key Brexit debate.
Brabin, the MP for Jo Cox’s old seat Batley and Spen, has since decided to sell the dress for charity on eBay, claiming it had sold out on ASOS as a result of the coverage.
Tracy Brabin is auctioning the off-the-shoulder dress that drew criticism after she wore it in the Commons PA
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📣📣📣📣 Sold out on ASOS!
Buy the dress that’s been front page news.
Support @Girlguiding in their brilliant work inspiring young girls to become future leaders. 💪https://t.co/A0QvRfnjCC — Tracy Brabin MP 🌹 (@TracyBrabin) February 6, 2020
“Black dress worn by Tracy Brabin MP in ‘shouldergate’ as widely covered across the media,” the listing reads.
“This is an ASOS dress which has been flying off the shelves as a result of the coverage – and is now sold out!”
The money raised will go to Girlguiding, a charity for girls and young women in the UK.
“All money raised will go to Girlguiding UK to support their work helping girls build confidence and self-esteem, in the hope that they grow up to be leaders,” the listing continued.
Ms Brabin responded to criticism of her attire on social media earlier in the week.
She had tweeted: “Sorry I don’t have time to reply to all of you commenting on this but I can confirm I’m not… A slag, Hungover, A tart, About to breastfeed, A slapper, Drunk, Just been banged over a wheelie bin.
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thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--This Morning Fans Emotional As Whole Team Comes Together To Support Phillip Schofield After He Comes

This Morning Fans Emotional As Whole Team Comes Together To Support Phillip Schofield After He Comes Out As Gay

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It was an emotional show for This Morning viewers during Friday’s episode as the on-screen presenting team came together to support Phillip Schofield after he came out as gay.
The star was joined on the ITV daytime show by regular co-host Holly Willoughby and the show’s Friday presenters Ruth Langsford and Eamonn Holmes following Phillip’s announcement on Instagram.
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Ruth Langsford and Phillip Schofield shared a hug as she walked onto set S Meddle/ITV/Shutterstock
Friday’s show opened with Holly interviewing Phillip, as he told of his private struggle with his sexuality, before Ruth and Eamonn later walked on set to show their love for him.
The team then sat on the sofa altogether sharing encouraging words and hugs, as a round of applause broke out in the studio.
Ruth, Phillip and Holly had a moment on This Morning ITV
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The presenting team has been besieged by rumours of an alleged feud between Phillip and Ruth in recent months, but many viewers commented how lovely it was to see the TV family uniting for Phil.
Aww Phil and Holly are such good pals ❤ and it seems all this animosity rumours between Phil and Ruth were shite. Just a brief moment like we all have. #ThisMorning — Danielle Robertson (@Danielle92_xo) February 7, 2020
#ThisMorning No matter what the press writes about Holly Willoughby,Phillip Schofield,Ruth Langsford and Eamonn Holmes,they are a family that sticks together and support eachother! 😘😍 — RiinaR (@riina_re) February 7, 2020
Phil and Holly have just have me goodbumps! So nice to see Eamonn and Ruth there!! #thismorning — SoapFan999🤩 (@soapfan999) February 7, 2020
So proud of the this morning team and to Phil, Holly, Ruth, Eeamonn, and all the Schofield family xxx you are all AMAZING XXXXXXX — Michelle duncan (@Mickey_D82) February 7, 2020
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@Schofe @hollywills @RuthieeL @EamonnHolmes a brave thing to do Phillip, and a beautiful moment with you all, we should all have a mate like holly! Glad Ruth and Eamonn were there to support you ❤ respect! X — David Taz (@davidtaz126) February 7, 2020
Holly, Ruth and Eamonn hugging and supporting Phillip aww my heart😍😭 #ThisMorning xx — Michelle💕 (@mishybabez_) February 7, 2020
@Schofe @hollywills @RuthieeL @EamonnHolmes a brave thing to do Phillip, and a beautiful moment with you all, we should all have a mate like holly! Glad Ruth and Eamonn were there to support you ❤ respect! X — David Taz (@davidtaz126) February 7, 2020
oh my goddd sobbing watching Philip Schofield on this morning coming out as gay with Holly interviewing him 😭😭😭 what a brave man. So beautiful and emosh the way Holly, Philip, Ruth & Eamonn came together there😭😭😭! ❤❤❤ @thismorning so much respect!!! Philip is amazing X — Debbie Armstrong (@debbiedebster_) February 7, 2020
Very moving moment on #ThisMorning between Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby. Lovely to see the support of Ruth and Eamonn too. Worth mentioning that some of the "not surprised" and "worst kept secret" comments on here are deeply unhelpful. Nothing nice to say? Don't say it. — Elliot Gonzalez (@elliot_gonzalez) February 7, 2020
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Phillip and Holly’s friendship and clear adoration for one another also had viewers in tears:
I couldn’t of done it without you, I’ll be by your side for ever and ever.
Now this got me, they ain’t just presenters, they are best of friends, I was emotional just listing to Phil telling holly & holly being so so supportive 🏳🌈💜pic.twitter.com/E1cmLyQibf — RebekahIrvin (@Rebekah_Irvin94) February 7, 2020
Everyone needs a friend like holly is to Phil. Watching them on @thismorning about his statement today. — Katie (@katiemcgowan200) February 7, 2020
Holly and Phil’s friendship is EVERYTHING 😭💗 #ThisMorning — space🤠cowboy (@spacecow3oy) February 7, 2020
Am in tears watching @thismorning Holly and Phil have the best friendship 😭😭 — Jade Bagwell (@Jadebagwelll) February 7, 2020
Just sat and cried my eyes out at Phil and Holly on this morning! Such a brave thing to do!💛 — Amy Geddes (@amygeddess) February 7, 2020
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You can tell how close Holly and Phil are.. How emotional watching This Morning! Life is too short to be unhappy. Kudos to his wife. ❤ #ThisMorning — Abbi Jade Laverick💕 (@AbbiLaverick) February 7, 2020
Wow I just absolutely balled my eyes out watching @thismorning .. what a beautiful friendship Holly and Phil have — Georgia Faraday (@SpeightGeorgia) February 7, 2020
During the interview, Holly told Phillip: “Whatever happens in the future, I’ll be sat by your side forever... we’re all part of this family.”
Eamonn also said: “So many people will be strengthened by what you’ve said, we’re by your side, we’ll be the first to stand beside you.”
The TV family came together to support Phillip S Meddle/ITV/Shutterstock
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Phillip came out as gay in a post on his Instagram Story on Friday morning, writing: “You never know what’s going on in someone’s seemingly perfect life, what issues they are struggling with, or the state of their wellbeing – and so you won’t know what has been consuming me for the last few years.
“With the strength and support of my wife and daughters, I have been coming to terms with the fact I am gay.”
The This Morning presenting team S Meddle/ITV/Shutterstock
Describing his wife as “incredible” and the “kindest soul he has ever met”, Phillip also praised his “astonishing” daughters, adding: “Both mine and Steph’s entire families have stunned me with their love, instant acceptance and support. Of course, they are worried about Steph, but I know they will scoop us both up.
“My friends are the best, especially Holly [Willoughby, his This Morning co-host], who has been so kind and wise – and who has hugged me as I sobbed on her shoulder.”
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This Morning airs weekdays at 10am on ITV.
Useful websites and helplines:


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Princess Beatrice And Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi's Wedding Set For Spring

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If you can tear your eyes off Prince Harry and Meghan Markle updates for a sec, the Royal Family has big news to share: Princess Beatrice, the eldest daughter of Sarah, Duchess of York and Prince Andrew, is set to get married in the spring.
Hello and People magazines initially reported that Beatrice will tie the knot with businessman Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi on 29 May.
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And then Buckingham Palace confirmed the news in a statement: “The wedding of HRH Princess Beatrice of York and Mr. Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi will take place on Friday 29th May 2020.”
The Queen has given permission for the ceremony to take place at The Chapel Royal, St James’s Palace. The ceremony will be followed by a private reception, given by The Queen, in the gardens of Buckingham Palace.
This might not be 2020′s only royal wedding. Kitty Spencer, Princess Diana’s niece, announced her engagement to South African fashion mogul Michael Lewis in January, although a wedding date hasn’t been publicly confirmed.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Phillip Schofield And Holly Willoughby Both Moved To Tears In His First Interview Since Coming Out

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The show opened with Phillip being interviewed by his usual co-host Holly Willoughby, just minutes after he revealed on his Instagram that he is gay.
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“I have never been more proud of my friend than I am today,” Holly said. “We’re going to do this together.”
Asked how it felt to have finally spoken about his sexuality, Phillip explained: ”[Everyone has] been so supportive, and so loving and caring and my entire family, to a person, has grabbed us and said, ‘It’s OK, it’s OK, we love you, we’re proud of you’ and every person I tell, it gets a little lighter and lighter.”
Phillip on Friday's edition of This Morning ITV
Both presenters became tearful during the 15-minute interview, in which Phillip praised Steph, his “astonishing” wife of 27 years, and their two daughters for their support after he came out to them.
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“I can’t write in any statement what I feel about that woman,” Phillip said of his wife. “She’s amazing, she’s incredible. There is no one in my life who would have supported me the way… as a wife, as the way she’s supported me. She’s astonishing, literally astonishing.”
“The girls jumped up and gave me a big hug,” Phillip recalled. “And then they hugged Steph, and then they said, ‘it’s OK, we’ll always be a family, we’ll always be us four’.”
Holly also pointed out that her co-host hadn’t “had his hand forced” with regards to his coming out, to which he said: “This is absolutely my decision, it was something I knew I had to do.
“I don’t know what the world will be like now, but what I would say is that I am very conscious of the hurt, and so my overriding emotion with my family is going to be guilt… but I will sit here and say that I am proud of myself today.”
Holly gave Phillip a big hug after their interview ITV
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On the subject of whether a future relationship was on his mind, Phillip insisted: “I don’t think so. I’m not thinking there.
“I’m doing each day at a time, and this has always been a slow process, and there’s no fast process after this.
“This was the big day and I knew what everything was pointing towards, and I couldn’t do it [without you].”
Holly then told him: “Whatever happens in the future, I’ll be sat by your side forever... we’re all part of this family.”
As the two shared a tearful hug, they were joined by fellow This Morning presenters Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford, who were also visibly emotional at Phillip’s announcement.
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“Nobody should be embarrassed about their sexuality, and it’s fantastic that you have spoken out,” Eamonn told him. “So many people will be strengthened by what you’ve said, we’re by your side, we’ll be the first to stand beside you.”
Ruth and Eamonn joined Phillip and Holly on the sofa ITV
Lightening the mood, Eamonn continued: “I’m disappoointed in a couple of ways, first of all, I heard there was a big announcement, and I thought you were going to say you’d resigned and I was going to get your job…
“The second is, [I’ve always wondered] how come you can sit in a hot tub with Holly and Steph doesn’t have a problem, and Dan [Holly’s husband] doesn’t have a problem.
“Holly is the sister I’ve never had,” Phillip added, before joking: “Have you two got to play spin-the-wheel now?”
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Ruth, Phillip and Holly had a moment on This Morning ITV
Phillip came out as gay on Friday morning, writing: “You never know what’s going on in someone’s seemingly perfect life, what issues they are struggling with, or the state of their wellbeing – and so you won’t know what has been consuming me for the last few years.
“With the strength and support of my wife and daughters, I have been coming to terms with the fact I am gay.”
Describing his wife as “incredible” and the “kindest soul he has ever met”, Phillip also praised his “astonishing” daughters, adding: “Both mine and Steph’s entire families have stunned me with their love, instant acceptance and support. Of course, they are worried about Steph, but I know they will scoop us both up.
“My friends are the best, especially Holly [Willoughby, his This Morning co-host], who has been so kind and wise – and who has hugged me as I sobbed on her shoulder.
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“At ITV, I couldn’t hope to work with more wonderful, supportive teams.”
A screengrab of the statement Phillip has posted on Instagram Instagram
He ended the post with a request for people to “please be kind, especially to [his] family”.
This Morning airs every weekday from 10am on ITV.
Useful websites and helplines:
London Lesbian & Gay switchboard (LLGS) is a free confidential support & information helpline for LGBT communities throughout the UK | 0300 330 0630
(LLGS) is a free confidential support & information helpline for LGBT communities throughout the UK | 0300 330 0630 Manchester Lesbian and Gay Switchboard is a free support, information and referral service for the Manchester and North-West area | 0161 235 8000
is a free support, information and referral service for the Manchester and North-West area | 0161 235 8000 Stonewall for more information on other LGBT services and helplines | 08000 502020


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Phillip Schofield’s This Morning Co-Host Holly Willoughby Leads Messages Of Support After He Comes O

Phillip Schofield’s This Morning Co-Host Holly Willoughby Leads Messages Of Support After He Comes Out As Gay

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Some of the biggest names in showbiz have voiced their support for Phillip Scofield after the This Morning presenter came out as gay.
On Friday morning the star posted an emotional statement on Instagram revealing he was gay.
There was an immediate outpouring of support for the 57-year-old star from some of the entertainment world’s biggest names.
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His This Morning co-host Holly Willoughby was one of the first to react with a post on Instagram.
She wrote: “Never Been more proud of my friend than I am today.”
Many other big names also took to social media to send their love and support, including many other ITV stars like Ant & Dec, Dermot O’Leary and Susanna Reid.
Huge respect and admiration for our friend @Schofe. Sending love to you P, and to your 3 lovely girls ❤ — antanddec (@antanddec) February 7, 2020
Love to @Schofe and his family ♥ — Susanna Reid (@susannareid100) February 7, 2020
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A picture paints a thousand words.
This is a man who was in pain , who today confided in Ruth and I and who knows we stand in support of him, his family and his sexuality .... Also unlike some, he appreciated a laugh to break the tension. @Schofe hoping you find happiness. 👏👏👍 pic.twitter.com/p7RuE7H8uY — Eamonn Holmes (@EamonnHolmes) February 7, 2020
Takes a lot of guts to do this, not least when you’re a very public figure & know it will all be dissected in a very public way. Sending my very best to @schofe & his family. 👍 https://t.co/VA6MyO5ONd — Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) February 7, 2020
Sending big love to the Schofield and his family, @Schofe Stand up guy, heart of a lion. X — Dermot O'Leary (@radioleary) February 7, 2020
Incredibly proud of @Schofe today. For anyone struggling today know that you are brave and you are loved x — James Corden (@JKCorden) February 7, 2020
So much love to @Schofe and his family . ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ — Davina McCall (@ThisisDavina) February 7, 2020
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@Schofe you’re the best - love you mate ❤ — Gary Barlow (@GaryBarlow) February 7, 2020
The main thing this will do is help others. I wish Philip Schofield and his family all the very best.🌈 https://t.co/HYWfk0UVQs — kath 🙀🕷❄🇪🇺 (@KathyBurke) February 7, 2020
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I'm not surprised about Philip Schofield. Growing up I remember him presenting with Gordon the Gopher from inside that closet! Joking aside, that cannot have been an easy statement to make. People come out at different stages in their lives. Good luck Philip xxxx — Matt Lucas (@RealMattLucas) February 7, 2020
Sending All my love and support for @Schofe and his family. Incredibly brave. — Ronan Keating (@ronanofficial) February 7, 2020
Heard the news @thismorning sending all the love to @Schofe the girls and Steph. And well done to all at this morning for a beautiful interview. No matter who you are or at what point in life everyone deserves to be their true self. Xx — Rylan Clark-Neal (@Rylan) February 7, 2020
Welcome to the family, Mr.Scofield! We've been expecting you.
https://t.co/uAjiNcMeSo — Armistead Maupin (@ArmisteadMaupin) February 7, 2020
Just when I though I couldn’t love this person more. Honest, open and most importantly happy. @Schofe pic.twitter.com/RFuL2QFyuI — Peter Andre (@MrPeterAndre) February 7, 2020
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Proud of this guy! Thinking of you and your family who will always be family @Schofe ❤ pic.twitter.com/Y03xalqx3g — Alex Beresford (@alexberesfordTV) February 7, 2020
Incredibly proud of @Schofe today.. huge love and respect to him and his family ❤ — Bobby Norris (@BobbyCNorris) February 7, 2020
When you create a new entertainment show and start discussing who should host, the first name on the list is always Phillip Schofield. That’s a fact. He’s just the very best at what he does, and the public adore him. Looking forward to many more years of his charm and brilliance. — Richard Osman (@richardosman) February 7, 2020
Well done Phillip x — TheVivienne (@THEVIVIENNEUK) February 7, 2020
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Sending love and support to @schofe from all the Loose Women family. https://t.co/k3PMrWXghv — Loose Women (@loosewomen) February 7, 2020
Bravo Phillip for your honesty.. Coming out is difficult but your family, friends and fans will be proud of you being your authentic self.. I’m proud of your bravery.. Welcome officially to our beautiful rainbow… https://t.co/dvMs0RJml2 — Ian H Watkins (@Ianhwatkins) February 7, 2020
Thank you @Schofe for your bravery and honesty. Being your friend and colleague for the past 15 years I’m sending you and your family all the love and support. #loveislove — Matt Evers (@TheMattEvers) February 7, 2020
Huge love and respect .@Schofe ❤ — Danny Hatchard (@danboy) February 7, 2020
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So much love for @Schofe for his open, honest, dignified statement https://t.co/dsbeXZ0wMa — Victoria Derbyshire (@vicderbyshire) February 7, 2020
So much love to you @Schofe such bravery xxxxx https://t.co/8fPnfzPtbu — Gok Wan MBE 🌈 (@therealgokwan) February 7, 2020
Just caught up on @thismorning, and what a lovely chat with @Schofe. Nothing but a great guy since the first time I met him, always asking how my family are, deserves a world of happiness, and hope this bravery provides him that. Great to see. 🤍 — Chris Hughes (@chrishughes_22) February 7, 2020
The power of friendship, love and support always prevails. @Schofe ❤ pic.twitter.com/0Ho2JdLSEW — Emily Atack (@EmAtack) February 7, 2020
What a man @Schofe !! brave, courageous and inspiring !! — Mark Wright (@MarkWright_) February 7, 2020
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It takes a lot of bravery to be your self @Schofe ❤ https://t.co/u2TrKwv2xM — Nicola Adams (@NicolaAdamsOBE) February 7, 2020
Braveness at its HIGHEST @Schofe 💛💛💛your love for your family was so prevalent in your interview with as you said “your sister” @hollywills surround yourself with the ones who matter 😘😘😘the loyal and the lovely 💛💛💛massive cuddle coming your way @thismorning #ThisMorning — Lisa Jane riley (@Reallisariley) February 7, 2020
Much respect to @Schofe — Dom Joly (@domjoly) February 7, 2020
It's up to all LGBTQ people how or when or whether they come out. But when someone with a public platform comes out, it helps people who are struggling with their sexuality. Love and support to @Schofe 🏳🌈 https://t.co/po209ES3U8 — Owen Jones🌹 (@OwenJones84) February 7, 2020
Coming to terms with & being your authentic self is never easy, especially in the public eye.
What @Schofe has done is incredibly courageous, powerful & will help so many. I am beaming with pride for him.
I’m even more proud of his family who seem so wonderful.#loveislove ❤ — Ranj Singh (@DrRanj) February 7, 2020
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I will never forget the day I came out @Schofe. It was to you, on your show and you were the most supportive, reassuring, positive person to me that day. So if there is anything I can do in return, it’s offer you the same support and say well done, it takes courage. Proud of you — CHARLIE KING (@CharlieKing85) February 7, 2020
Such a powerful, emotionally honest statement from @Schofe https://t.co/uonyeZTg1q — Cathy Newman (@cathynewman) February 7, 2020
So proud of you @Schofe 🙌 It has been a true honor working with you for the past decade 🤗Sending you and your family all my love and support!!! ❤❤ pic.twitter.com/wpDKn0ukqW — Alexandra Schauman (@AlexandraLukasz) February 7, 2020
Phillip - who has been married to his wife Steph for almost 27 years - thanked his family for their support in his statement.
“You never know what’s going on in someone’s seemingly perfect life, what issues they are struggling with, or the state of their wellbeing – and so you won’t know what has been consuming me for the last few years,” he wrote.
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“With the strength and support of my wife and daughters, I have been coming to terms with the fact I am gay.”
He continued: “This is something that has caused many heartbreaking conversations at home. I have been married to Steph for nearly 27 years, and we have two beautiful grown-up daughters, Molly and Ruby. My family have held me so close: they have tried to cheer me up, to smother me with kindness and love, despite their own confusion.
“Yet I still can’t sleep and there have been some very dark moments.
“My inner conflict contrasts with an outside world that has changed so very much for the better. Today, quite rightly, being gay is a reason to celebrate and be proud. Yes, I am feeling pain and confusion, but that comes only from the hurt that I am causing to my family.”
Useful websites and helplines:
London Lesbian & Gay switchboard (LLGS) is a free confidential support & information helpline for LGBT communities throughout the UK | 0300 330 0630
(LLGS) is a free confidential support & information helpline for LGBT communities throughout the UK | 0300 330 0630 Manchester Lesbian and Gay Switchboard is a free support, information and referral service for the Manchester and North-West area | 0161 235 8000
is a free support, information and referral service for the Manchester and North-West area | 0161 235 8000 Stonewall for more information on other LGBT services and helplines | 08000 502020


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--A Restaurant Is Selling Smaller Ladies' Steaks For Women – And People Have Beef

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We’ve had the Bic for Her pen, #BeerForHer lager and even a car for “modern women” complete with “eyeliner-shaped headlights”. Now, the patriarchy is coming after our steak.
A restaurant in Liverpool is selling a dedicated 8oz “ladies fillet” [sic] – heaven forbid a woman might want a bigger portion, or a man might want a smaller one.
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The £18.95 dish is on the menu at Manhattan Bar and Grill. It was spotted by food writer Vicky Andrews, before food critic Jay Rayner shared his utter confusion at the name.
The concept went down like a lead balloon on Twitter, with many questioning what a steak “for the ladies” could possibly include.
“Do the other ones come topped with a Yorkie bar or something?” one woman commented on Rayner’s post.
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“Ladies’ fillet comes with complimentary sanitary towel,” another joked.
Karl Hassan, managing director of the Manhattan Bar and Grill, told the Telegraph that despite the online backlash, the dish has been well-received by customers.
“We have a lot of hen parties and female visitors, and we had countless complaints that our 10oz fillet steaks were far too big. So we got our supplier to send us 8oz instead and named them ‘Ladies 8oz Fillets!’” he said.
Honestly, is creating a steak solely for women really necessary? Why not call the dish something neutral, like “small steak?”


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Prince Andrew Asks To Defer Naval Promotion ‘Until He Returns To Public Duty’

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Prince Andrew has asked to defer a traditional honorary military promotion to the rank of admiral, which he was due to receive on his 60th birthday.
Buckingham Palace said Prince Andrew has asked for the honorary Navy promotion to be deferred until a time when he returns to public duty – though did not specify when this might be.
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A Buckingham Palace spokesperson said: “By convention, The Duke of York would be in line for military promotion on his 60th birthday. Following the decision by His Royal Highness to step back from public duties for the foreseeable future, The Duke of York has asked the Ministry of Defence if this promotion might be deferred until such time that His Royal Highness returns to public duty.”
Andrew stepped down from royal public life in November in the wake of the Jeffrey Epstein scandal and after the fallout from his disastrous Newsnight appearance.
The interview, dubbed a “car crash” by critics, saw him accused of lacking empathy for Epstein’s victims and of failing to show regret over his friendship with the disgraced financier.
Prince Andrew stepped away from royal duties over the Jeffrey Epstein scandal LINDSEY PARNABY via Getty Images
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A woman who claims she was trafficked by Epstein alleges the duke slept with her on three separate occasions. Andrew, who strenuously denies the allegations, is facing calls to talk to the FBI and US prosecutors.
The prince retired from the Navy in 2001 but members of the royal family traditionally continue to receive military promotions as they get older.
The Queen cancelled her son’s formal birthday celebrations soon after the scandal.
It has been a bad week for the scandal-hit prince. On Wednesday, lawyers for the victims of Jeffrey Epstein and for the family of teenage hit-and-run victim Harry Dunn held a joint press conference calling for an exchange of sorts in which Andrew would travel to the US to face questioning – and Sacoolas, Dunn’s suspected killer, to be extradited from the States to Britain.
Then on Thursday the government declared councils would no longer have to fly a Union Jack to celebrate the prince’s birthday on February 19 after critics branded the diktat “crass and offensive”.
Last month it emerged the duke is also facing losing his round-the-clock armed police protection after a Scotland Yard review.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Phillip Schofield Comes Out As Gay

Phillip Schofield Comes Out As Gay

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Phillip Schofield has come out as gay in a personal Instagram statement.
The This Morning presenter wrote: “You never know what’s going on in someone’s seemingly perfect life, what issues they are struggling with, or the state of their wellbeing – and so you won’t know what has been consuming me for the last few years.
“With the strength and support of my wife and daughters, I have been coming to terms with the fact I am gay.”
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He explained: “This is something that has caused many heartbreaking conversations at home. I have been married to Steph for nearly 27 years, and we have two beautiful grown-up daughters, Molly and Ruby. My family have held me so close: they have tried to cheer me up, to smother me with kindness and love, despite their own confusion.
“Yet I still can’t sleep and there have been some very dark moments.”
“My inner conflict contrasts with an outside world that has changed so very much for the better,” Phillip continued.
“Today, quite rightly, being gay is a reason to celebrate and be proud. Yes, I am feeling pain and confusion, but that comes only from the hurt that I am causing to my family.”
Philip has been married to his wife Steph for over 26 years. Yui Mok - PA Images via Getty Images
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Describing his wife as “incredible” and the “kindest soul he has ever met”, Phillip also praised his “astonishing” daughters, adding: “Both mine and Steph’s entire families have stunned me with their love, instant acceptance and support. Of course, they are worried about Steph, but I know they will scoop us both up.
“My friends are the best, especially Holly [Willoughby, his This Morning co-host], who has been so kind and wise – and who has hugged me as I sobbed on her shoulder.
“At ITV, I couldn’t hope to work with more wonderful, supportive teams.”
A screengrab of the statement Phillip has posted on Instagram Instagram
He ended the post with a request for people to “please be kind, especially to [his] family”.
Minutes after his statement was published, Phillip sat down with his usual This Morning co-host Holly Willoughby to discuss his coming out live on air.
Both stars were moved to tears during the interview, in which Phillip insisted that he came out entirely of his own accord, and answered questions about a potential future romance.
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Since then, a number of Phillip’s famous friends and peers have also shown him their support on social media, including Dermot O’Leary, Susanna Reid and Victoria Derbyshire.
Useful websites and helplines:
London Lesbian & Gay switchboard (LLGS) is a free confidential support & information helpline for LGBT communities throughout the UK | 0300 330 0630
(LLGS) is a free confidential support & information helpline for LGBT communities throughout the UK | 0300 330 0630 Manchester Lesbian and Gay Switchboard is a free support, information and referral service for the Manchester and North-West area | 0161 235 8000
is a free support, information and referral service for the Manchester and North-West area | 0161 235 8000 Stonewall for more information on other LGBT services and helplines | 08000 502020


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Father Of Murdered Student Meredith Kercher ‘Killed In Hit-And-Run’

John Kercher published a book about his daughter entitled: Our Daughter’s Murder And The Heartbreaking Quest For The Truth Yui Mok - PA Images via Getty Images
The father of murdered student Meredith Kercher has been killed in a suspected hit-and-run outside his Croydon home.
John Kercher was found suffering injuries including a broken arm and broken leg after the incident on 13 January. The 77-year-old was taken to hospital, where he died on 1 February.
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Police are calling the writer and journalist’s death “unexplained” and believe he may have been involved in a collision.
In a statement to the Sun, Kercher’s family said: “We loved him dearly and he is going to be very sorely missed.”
Detective Sergeant Steve Andrews, of the Met’s South Area Command Unit, is investigating. He said: “We are currently treating the death of this man as unexplained and our thoughts are with his family at this very sad time.
Meredith Kercher was murdered in 2007 Shutterstock
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“Despite thorough enquiries made so far, including speaking to witnesses and examining potential CCTV opportunities, we’ve not as yet been able to establish how the man came to sustain his injuries which included a broken arm and broken leg.
“We are keeping an open mind as to the circumstances of his death, including whether he may have been involved in a collision.
“Please make the call to us, or anonymously via Crimestoppers if you can help us determine what happened.”
Anyone who was in the Windmill Road area at around 7.30pm on Monday, 13 January and can help provide information that could assist officers is asked to contact police on 101 and quote Cad 6441/13Jan.
Alternatively, stay anonymous by contacting the charity Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.
Mr Kercher’s daughter was 21 when she was found violently murdered on 2 November 2007 in her bedroom in Perugia, Italy, where she was studying on an exchange programme.
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Her throat had been slit and her semi-naked body was partially covered by a duvet.
American student Amanda Knox, also studying in the town, was sentenced to 26 years’ imprisonment and her Italian ex-boyfriend Raffaele Sollecito to 25, but both strenuously protested their innocence from behind bars and were acquitted on appeal in October 2011.
They were convicted again in 2014 in Florence after the Cassation court overturned the acquittals, and ordered a new appeals trial, which overturned their convictions once and for all.
Ivory Coast-born drifter and small-time drug dealer Rudy Guede was also jailed for the murder after being prosecuted in a separate, fast-track trial and remains in prison.
Kercher wrote a book entitled Meredith: Our Daughter’s Murder And The Heartbreaking Quest For The Truth, because it seemed that his daughter was “all but forgotten” with the spotlight focused relentlessly on Knox and her high-profile court battle.
In it he described being unable to view his daughter’s body in an Italian morgue, fearful he would lose his “laughing and happy” final memory of her.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Trump Struggles With Basic Christian Teaching At National Prayer Breakfast

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In his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus gave his followers a set of counterintuitive teachings, telling them that the meek will inherit the earth, to be glad when people persecute them, to turn the other cheek and, most importantly, to love their enemies.
President Donald Trump, a self-described Presbyterian, is having a tough time following that last command.
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During Thursday’s National Prayer Breakfast, Trump used his time at the lectern to condemn the impeachment proceedings, rally for his own reelection and disparage the sincerity of his opponents’ faith. The president’s speech at the Washington Hilton hotel was a jarring departure from the tone set by other speakers at an annual event that traditionally seeks to promote bipartisanship and unity.
Trump spoke shortly after a keynote delivered by Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor and president of a conservative think tank, who lamented the country’s increasing polarization.
“Some people say we need more civility and tolerance. I say, nonsense,” Brooks said. “Why? Because civility and tolerance are a low standard. Jesus didn’t say, ‘Tolerate your enemies.’ He said, ‘Love your enemies.’ Answer hatred with love.”
Brooks asked members of the audience to raise their hands if they loved someone whom they disagreed with politically. Hands shot up around the room, but Trump didn’t raise his, according to the Religion News Service.
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Just now: "How many of you love someone with whom you disagree politically?" pic.twitter.com/zf3kD739fV — Jack Jenkins (@jackmjenkins) February 6, 2020
Moments later, the president got the chance to share his thoughts out loud and he publicly wrestled with a core Christian teaching.
“Arthur, I don’t know if I agree with you,” Trump said as he took the microphone.
“As everybody knows, my family, our great country and your president have been put through a terrible ordeal by some very dishonest and corrupt people,” Trump said. “They have done everything possible to destroy us and, by so doing, very badly hurt our nation.”
The president lashed out at Utah Sen. Mitt Romney, who broke with his Republican colleagues on Wednesday by voting to convict Trump of abuse of power. The president attacked Romney for pointing to his faith as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to explain his vote.
“I don’t like people who use their faith as justification for doing what they know is wrong,” Trump said.
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The president also seemed to take a jab at House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), a Catholic who has said she often prays for Trump.
“Nor do I like people who say, ‘I pray for you,’ when they know that that’s not so,” Trump said.
Near the end of his speech, the president appeared to return to Brooks’ challenge to “love your enemies,” pointing out that religious people are sometimes guilty of hate.
“I’m sorry. I apologize. I’m trying to learn. It’s not easy. It’s not easy,” he said, prompting laughter in the audience. “When they impeach you for nothing, then you’re supposed to like them? It’s not easy, folks. I do my best.”
President Donald Trump holds up a copy of USA Today showing news of his acquittal in the Senate impeachment trial, as he arrives to address the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington on Feb. 6, 2020. Leah Millis / Reuters
Trump was very publicly wrestling with core Christian teaching. It’s not the first time he’s done so. During his 2016 election campaign, he was repeatedly asked if he repented his sins, something many Christians believe is a key part of their spiritual journey. At first, Trump said he doesn’t ask God for forgiveness. He later said he does seek forgiveness but hopes he doesn’t have to do it often.
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Despite his shifting theological positions and other moral missteps, Trump still enjoys strong support from his conservative Christian base, particularly from white evangelical Protestants who are thrilled by his defense of issues important to them.
On Thursday, he warned attendees at the National Prayer Breakfast that “certain religions in particular” are “under siege.”
“We won’t let that happen. We are going to protect our religions. We are going to protect Christianity,” he said. “We are going to protect our great ministers and pastors and rabbis and all of the people that we so cherish and that we so respect.”
The Rev. James Martin, editor at large of the Catholic magazine America, called Trump’s speech “disgusting,” “self-serving” and “mean-spirited.”
“At the heart of the believer’s relationship with God is a profound humility before the Lord. And at the heart of the Christian’s relationship with Jesus Christ is a profound reverence for his teachings, including, ‘Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,’” Martin wrote on Twitter.
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“The last place that one should flaunt one’s vanity or ignore Jesus’s teachings is in the setting of prayer,” Martin added.
Catholic leaders should boycott this event in the future if it continues in this vein. Because it is no longer the occasion for prayer with the President, and is no longer prayer in any meaningful way, but is an exercise in spite, contempt and vanity. — James Martin, SJ (@JamesMartinSJ) February 6, 2020
John Fea, a history professor at Messiah College in Pennsylvania, wrote that Trump used the National Prayer Breakfast as his “shooting range,” while his evangelical supporters “cheered.”
“Trump loves Christianity as long it props up his corrupt presidency,” Fea wrote for USA Today. “He claims to be a defender of religious freedom, but gets angry when people exercise that freedom in a manner that exposes his depravity.”
John Gehring, Catholic program director at the progressive advocacy group Faith in Public Life, said that even at a prayer breakfast, Trump appeared to be treating faith as a “crude tool to further his own agenda.”
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“Humility is central to Christian discipleship,” Gehring told HuffPost. “President Trump seems to have no interest in stepping outside himself and learning that there is nothing Christian about worshipping your own ego.”
Other Christians chimed in on Twitter:
This prayer breakfast is not about honoring God & being a prophetic voice, but an attempt to use religious activities as cover for irreligious politics & policy actions. — Rev. Dr. William J. Barber II (@RevDrBarber) February 6, 2020
Is there a prophet like Nathan in the room? “Thou art the man.” https://t.co/P12nMfKdw6 — Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove (@wilsonhartgrove) February 6, 2020
American nationalism camouflaged as Christianity is on full display today at the #NationalPrayerBreakfast. Some Christians are more committed to Trump than to Christ. But this is nothing new. In Ancient Rome many deserted Christ and said, “We have no King but Caesar.” pic.twitter.com/0z9XC6myks — Shane Claiborne (@ShaneClaiborne) February 6, 2020
Good morning!
White Christian supremacy was on full display this morning at the #NationalPrayerBreakfast.
Remember, Jesus is Lord. If you’re Christian and declare someone else as lord, please check your Christianity.
Have a blessed day! — Tuhina Verma Rasche (@tvrasche) February 6, 2020
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Trump's comments showed a “level of candor” when he insinuated he would not love all his enemies, according to @sr_simone.
"He is the total antithesis of what it means to follow Jesus,” @GuthrieGF added. @thehill's @JustineColeman8 reports: https://t.co/XlHRhzd1OI — CAPfaith (@CAPfaith) February 6, 2020
Jim Wallis, leader of the progressive Christian organization Sojourners, told HuffPost that loving your neighbor and your enemies are core values for Christians.
“Trump is in direct contempt with this central Christian teaching,” he said.
But Wallis also noted that loving your neighbors doesn’t mean submitting to them.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Billy Porter Has A Defiant Response To Critics Of His Upcoming Sesame Street Appearance

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Pose actor Billy Porter has issued a defiant response to his detractors, after the details of his upcoming Sesame Street cameo were revealed.
Having spent the last 12 months wowing us with his performance in the hit ballroom drama, and with his red carpet fashion, it was recently revealed that Billy and his much-loved tuxedo dress would be making an appearance in Sesame Street later this year.
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Disappointingly, not everyone was thrilled at the thought of the actor sporting the garment on the show (despite the usual residents of Sesame Street not exactly erring on the subtle and understated side) with a petition calling for the episode to be dropped reaching upwards of 50,000 signatories.
Billy has now had his say on the matter, and we’re pleased to note he does not seem fazed by the controversy.
Billy Porter at last year's Oscars Dan MacMedan via Getty Images
“If you don’t like it, don’t watch it,” he told Page Six, noting he found it odd that conservative parents would make the bizarre leap between him wearing the dress alongside the beloved characters and exposing their children to “perverted demon sex”.
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He continued: “What about me singing with a penguin [on Sesame Street] has anything to do with what I’m doing in my bedroom?
“The really interesting thing for me is that that’s what it’s all about when it comes to LGBTQ people — the first thing everyone wants to talk about is how we having sex.”
Billy added: “Stay out of my bedroom and you will be fine — that is none of your business.”
Already an established Broadway performer, Billy’s star has continued to rise since he began playing Praytell in Pose, a role he’s set to reprise in the show’s upcoming third series.
He’s also now a TV trailblazer, after becoming the first openly gay Black nominee (and, later, winner) in the Best Actor In A TV Drama category at last year’s Emmys.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Rebecca Long-Bailey Backs Right For Workers Not To Be Contacted Outside Normal Hours

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Workers should have the freedom to switch off digital devices and not face job-related contact outside of normal hours, Rebecca Long-Bailey has said.
The Labour leadership candidate told BBC Breakfast she would make it her mission to “end the 24/7 work culture” which leaves people anxious about receiving work messages round the clock, if she clinched the top job.
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The left-wing favourite has said the effective extension of working hours is damaging people’s mental health and intruding on “quality time with our families”.
The shadow business secretary said her party should be fighting to enshrine in law the right for workers not to contacted by their employer outside work.
Long-Bailey said: “We can all do better with aspirational socialism, through pushing for an end to the 24/7 work culture, and with trade unions empowered to negotiate this, we can work hard, be paid for the work we do and keep that precious time with our friends and family, uninterrupted by emails or demands.”
She underlined that France, Italy and the Philippines all have laws providing some workers the right to switch off.
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France introduced a right to switch off from the use of digital tools out of working hours, through the El Khomri law in 2017.
Labour MP Rebecca Long-Bailey Finnbarr Webster via Getty Images
The shadow minister faces competition for the leadership from Keir Starmer, the shadow Brexit secretary, campaigning Wigan MP Lisa Nandy and shadow foreign secretary Emily Thornberry.
Long-Bailey has effectively been endorsed by the current leader Jeremy Corbyn and also has the backing of the large trade union Unite and Momentum.
Nonetheless, Starmer is the frontrunner in the race, having scooped a greater number of nominations.
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The contest will be decided using the alternative vote system, which means if no candidate gets 50% of first preference votes, the runner with the least is eliminated and their second preference votes are redistributed.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Love Island's Shaughna Phillips Lauded By Viewers For Keeping Her Cool In Brutal Recoupling

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Love Island fans were full of praise for contestant Shaughna Phillips in Thursday night’s show, after the way she behaved in the most brutal recoupling of the series.
Shaughna had been paired with fellow Islander Callum Jones since they both entered the villa, with viewers following the ups and downs of their complicated romance over the last three weeks.
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However, after they were pulled apart in the Casa Amor twist (who could forget Shaughna’s reaction when she found out he’d left “without giving [her] a chance to threaten him”), Callum found his head was turned by newcomer Molly Smith.
When the two villas were finally reunited as part of Thursday’s recoupling, it was revealed that Callum had chosen to ditch Shaughna, and couple up with Molly instead.
Callum and Molly share a kiss in Casa Amor ITV/Shutterstock
This means that Shaughna’s place in the villa may well be in jeopardy, as she found herself the last original single girl standing.
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Despite her days in the villa potentially being numbered, and her previous admission that she might walk if Callum were to couple up with someone else, Shaughna kept it cool and collected, winning her huge praise from viewers…
Shaughna you fucking godess keeping your cool. Yes it is fine girl, you had a lucky escape! Let the kids play with their toys and you get yourself the man you deserve #loveisland — Emily M (@MarshallEmily16) February 6, 2020
Shaughna really kept her cool like that we love a woman that knows her worth #LoveIsland pic.twitter.com/Y6b9p3bIJ6 — Georgia (@GeorgiaEH17) February 6, 2020
She saw her fella coming back in with the villa’s fittest woman and didn’t cry, give Shaughna the £50k and let her split it with Paige, solely on the basis of her reaction to that carnage #LoveIsland — Emma Kelly (@TooManyEmmas) February 6, 2020
Honestly give shaughna the 50k now and let her live her best life because idk how she held herself together #loveisland pic.twitter.com/ZTPJaQMA9f — . (@ellie19248282) February 6, 2020
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Shaughna’s poker face was on point. She’s made the series and without her it would have been boring af. #LoveIsland pic.twitter.com/a74oN87YQ5 — Terri Boyne (@TerriBoyne) February 7, 2020
Calm, cool and collected. She is so strong, I will not accept any winner other than Shaughna #LoveIsland — 🇪🇺 (@JessTheWanted) February 6, 2020
So much respect for Shaughna keeping her cool. We all know how much that has killed her inside man 😭 #LoveIsland — L A U R E N 🔮 (@LaurenAttle) February 6, 2020
Shaughna holding it together, and telling Demi to hold herself together and not break down over no little boy. Those girls have the best karma. #BadAss #Loveisland — Sumayyah Kelani (@SumayyahG) February 7, 2020
Gotta rate her how cool she played it queen shaughna #Loveisland pic.twitter.com/6f7BM1yY5V — Danny commock (@Dannycommockx) February 6, 2020
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shaughna really did keep her cool like that👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼a queen #loveisland pic.twitter.com/kU8e3DD9Oo — C✨ (@caitlinmaryyyxo) February 6, 2020
Shaughna just demonstrated that keeping your cool when someone screws you over is the classiest way to react #LoveIsland pic.twitter.com/QANg2fpdv1 — Katie Frank (@katielfrank) February 6, 2020
Shaughna's face the way she turned it from shocked to 'keep it together', that's girl power right there. #LoveIsland — امبرين (@AAddalet) February 7, 2020
It should be noted, though, that the episode did abruptly end soon after the news broke that Callum had paired up with Molly, so Shaughna’s stoic reaction could well be the calm before the storm.
Shaughna Phillips ITV
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As well as Shaughna, Islander Demi Jones could also be facing the axe, after her original partner Nas Majeed made the decision to pair up with Casa Amor resident Eva Zapico.
Other existing Islanders made the decision to stick with the contestants they were already partnered up with, including Luke T and Finley, who remain with Siânnise and Paige, respectively.
Love Island airs every night on ITV2.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Tate Modern Attacker Jonty Bravery ‘Told Carers Of Plan To Kill A Year Earlier’

Jonty Bravery Facebook
The teenager who threw a six-year-old boy from the viewing platform of the Tate Modern gallery in London told of plans to push someone off a high building a year earlier, it has been reported.
Jonty Bravery, 18, admitted pushing the French child from the tourist attraction’s tenth floor on August 4 last year. At the time of the attack he was living in a flat in Northolt, west London, with round-the-clock care by Hammersmith and Fulham Council.
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A recording from autumn 2018, obtained following a joint investigation by BBC News and the Daily Mail, allegedly reveals him telling his carers of a plan to kill someone because he is fed up and wants to go to prison.
The audio, reported to be the voice of Bravery, says: “In the next few months I’ve got it in my head I’ve got to kill somebody.”
Bravery, who is autistic, also allegedly tells his carers he wants to go into central London “just for the day out, yeah, as if we’re having a normal day” and visit a tall landmark to push somebody off it.
When asked if anything in particular had triggered him, Bravery is said to have responded: “My iPad going.”
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When the carer asks: “So, if you were to get an iPad, for example, that would basically cancel everything…?” the person alleged to be Bravery replies “Yes.”
Care provider Spencer & Arlington told the BBC they had “no knowledge or records of the disclosure”.
In a statement, it said there was “absolutely no evidence” that Bravery “may have told his carers of his plan”.
Spencer & Arlington said that there was no record of the disclosure in any care plan, care report or review from managers or his carers, psychologists, or health workers.
But the company said it recognised the “gravity” of the claim and has reported the concerns to the Care Quality Commission (CQC).
Bravery, of Ealing in west London, admitted a charge of attempted murder in December at the Old Bailey in London and is due to be sentenced in February.
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The court previously heard how Bravery was seen wandering about the viewing platform before picking up his victim and throwing him over the edge.
The six-year-old boy, who cannot be named for legal reasons, suffered a bleed to the brain, fractures to his spine and broken legs and arms following the fall.
The boy was visiting London with his family at the time and is now said to be recovering in his native France.
A GoFundMe page set up to raise money for the six-year-old’s intensive rehabilitation said that he had started to speak again shortly before Christmas.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Death Of 'Hero' Doctor Who Tried To Raise The Alarm On Coronavirus Sparks Anger In China

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The death of a doctor dubbed a “hero who was willing to to tell the truth” about coronavirus has sparked grief and anger in China.
Li Wenliang, a medic at a hospital in Wuhan, tried to raise the alarm about the new strain of coronavirus in December, after he discovered a virus in patients that looked like Sars – an infection that killed almost 800 people during 2002/03.
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But at the start of January, he was warned by police to stop “spreading rumours” about coronavirus, with officers telling him he had “severely disrupted social order” and he would face criminal charges if he continued.
On February 1, Li revealed he had contracted coronavirus. According to the hospital where he worked, the 34-year-old died in the early hours of Friday morning, local time.
His death has triggered a huge reaction in China, where more than 30,000 people have been infected with coronavirus and the death toll has exceeded 600.
News of Li’s death became the top-read topic on China’s microblogging site Weibo overnight on Friday, with over 1.5 billion views.
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Some Chinese media outlets described him as a “hero who was willing to speak the truth” while other commentators posted poems, photos and drawings saluting him.
A photo of Li Wenliang is seen with flower bouquets at Wuhan Central Hospital STR via Getty Images
“Light a candle and pay tribute to the hero,” said one Weibo commentator. “You were the beam of light in the night.”
An image also posted on Weibo showed a message, “farewell Li Wenliang”, carved into the snow on a riverbank in Beijing.
Li’s treatment by authorities triggered memories of how China in 2003 was accused of trying to cover up a major outbreak of Sars, a previously unknown virus believed to have emerged from the wet markets of Guangdong province before spreading into major cities and other countries.
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There were also signs that discussions of Li’s death were being censored, Reuters reported, especially ones that blamed the government.
The topics “the Wuhan government owes doctor Li Wenliang an apology” and “we want free speech” briefly trended on Weibo late on Thursday, but yielded no search results on Friday.
Dr. Li Wenliang – a medic who tried to raise the alarm about coronavirus – has died aged 34 ASSOCIATED PRESS
Reports of Li’s death had surfaced before midnight local time in China on state media but were deleted later.
China’s Central Commission for Discipline Inspection, its top anti-corruption body, said on Friday it would send investigators to Wuhan to probe “issues raised by the people in connection with Dr Li Wenliang.”
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Meanwhile, a statement on the Wuhan government read: “He died after unsuccessful efforts to save him.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--What Our Daughter’s Death Taught Us About Grief And Parenting After Tragedy

HuffPost UK Courtesy of the author
Reality only really set in when I read the local newspaper headline: “Amelia loses fight for life”.
Those words were printed on 9 February 2007, the day after my daughter died. She was three-years-old, and had been a passenger in a car accident. Before her death, she’d spent five days in Great Ormond Street Hospital, 40 miles from her home. By the last day of her hospital stay, a brain scan revealed she was brain dead – 80% of her brain cells could no longer be distinguished between the grey and white of a healthy brain – and our family, including my partner who was also injured in the accident, gathered around her bed to say goodbye. Life support was removed in the early evening as snow fell outside for the first time that winter. Four months later, our second daughter Isabelle was born, healthy and happy.
The coming years would prove to be difficult for all of us. Grieving for a lost child never ends, but life must carry on. Birthdays had to be celebrated, Christmas came around fast and brought the family together again, though there was now always a solemn, empty space at the dinner table. Two years later, Isabelle began to notice photos on the walls, and our visits to the cemetery became tangible. Our third daughter, Matilda, had since arrived and made Isabelle a big sister (which she relished) but she had begun to ask, in her own way, who the girl on the wall was. It was time to explain that she was a little sister to someone she would never meet.
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“But I’m a big sister” she said to us. My wife and I tried to explain to her that she was both a big sister and a little sister. The middle child. Once the concept finally sunk in, the inevitable question arose: “where is Amelia?” How to answer a question so simply asked but almost impossible to reply? My wife, from a Christian upbringing, wanted to specify Amelia was in heaven. As an atheist I wasn’t so sure, but the concept of heaven worked in Isabelle’s two-year old mind; it gave her some guidance, but above all it gave her hope. We’d eventually have the same conversation with Matilda, this time with knowledge and an older Isabelle who chimed in at all the right times.
“Amelia's death gave us the chance to show her sisters that death was not the end – and teach them that a person can be remembered after they’ve gone.”
Amelia’s death brought a spectre into the household. She wasn’t only a constant shadow to us as parents, but it raised more questions as time went on. Profound questions philosophers have spent years trying to answer, such as “what is death?” and “where do we go when we die?” and “is it like sleeping?” These got easier to answer as time went on and our kids grew. Even today, aged twelve and ten, they talk about Amelia watching over them. Her death had become not exactly a positive, but a guiding light. She gave us the chance to show her sisters that death was not the end – and teach them that a person can be remembered after they’ve gone. This leant us some comfort too, in that we could share something which eased the pain.
Of course, this wasn’t like a grandparent passing on, where we could nudge them into remembering happy times. They’d never known Amelia. So, we had to build her as a person in their minds, someone real who moved, laughed and cried; someone who wasn’t just a static image on the bookcase. We told them stories of her antics, the ups and the downs, the holidays and her favourites – stuffed animals, TV shows, songs, but we had to be cautious also. We spoke to the girls’ teachers, introducing them to Amelia, because she might come up in conversation during class, or be drawn into a family portrait with blunted crayons.
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We became cautious of anxiety, especially in Isabelle. As she grew older, she began to talk of “missing” Amelia. We didn’t want her to grow up in the shadow, fearful of what might happen to her, seeing as it so easily happened to her sibling. Isabelle became the ‘sensitive’ child, prone to worrying or fear of being called upon. Was it related to what she’d had to learn and perhaps be burdened with? Maybe we had guarded her a little too much against life? It’s hard to say. We did what we thought was best. We tried to turn grieving into celebration instead, making anniversaries a moment to reflect on the joy of that person having existed, rather than departed.
HuffPost UK Courtesy of the author
As my girls have grown up and their learning has expanded, Amelia didn’t die from “banging her head in an accident”. Instead we were honest and told them about a car accident. Told them about the hospital. It was – and still is – hard; watching their faces contort as they try to imagine the unimaginable. We had to learn everything with them, we had to adapt as they did. We began to learn new ways to memorialise her and talking to them in time brought out the happier memories rather than the sad thoughts. The girls suggested ways we could remember her too – souvenirs bought on holiday to be taken to her grave. There was always a constant, though: Amelia was gone and wouldn’t come back. In this, I suppose our parenting changed. In essence, we were doing everything for the first time again.
With Amelia we learned a lot of ‘the firsts’ which then came naturally with the others – but we were extra fearful, constantly sat on the edge of our seats when they learned new things or physically explored their surroundings too. Sending them off to school is a nerve-wracking time as it is for every parent, but I, who was at work when the car accident happened, remember being a bundle of nerves. I hated not being present or for my partner, at least, to be there to protect them. I constantly worried, and still do now, that they will be taken from me too. Maybe this means I’ve ‘over-parented’ at times, halted progress in order to hold onto them. I needed to watch over them, regain some kind of control which would prevent tragedy.
I suppose this made us more responsive and reactive parents, hyper aware of scenarios which could pose a danger; triple checking seatbelts, locks, home safety. Not only this, but as my partner and I were becoming more aware of our own mental weaknesses, we looked for them in Isabelle and Matilda, providing different types of comfort, making sure to be there to talk through emotional problems.
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“I often spend moments wondering how she would have grown, what kind of young lady she would be now. This is perhaps the rawest pain...”
Socially, life became much harder. Amelia hung over each new friendship like a cloud. Inevitably meeting new people comes round to conversations about how many kids you have – Do I say two and avoid the conversation? Or do I admit three and explain, which always brings on the head tilt and the apology, making me feel awkward? Of course, nobody knows what to say when I do bring it up, how would they? Even I don’t know what to think, still. As Isabelle grew up, there were talks between my partner and I, ‘should we mention Amelia?’. Thankfully taking Isabelle to pre-school was easier, Amelia had attended and, on her death, the teachers supported us, named a part of the school after her. We stuck to these easier scenarios, enrolling Isabelle in similar clubs and classes, saving us from the ‘conversation’.
Twelve years on, of course we still celebrate and talk about Amelia – what we think she would have been like, what kind of young woman she would have been, how she might have guided her sisters. This is perhaps one of the hardest aspects of Amelia’s death we’ve had to deal with – I often spend moments wondering how she would have grown, what kind of young lady she would be now. This is perhaps the rawest pain: nothing could ever provide an answer, and imagining her in scenarios we never got the chance to see only amplifies her loss.
When my partner went for the first antenatal scan, Amelia waited in the reception rooms outside eager for news. We came out, gave her a printed photo of the scan which she insisted on showing everyone, proud that she would have a younger sibling to coach and watch over. I think she still did that, but in a very unique way. We make sure to tell Isabelle and Matilda how proud she would be when they do well at something. They know her now, I think.
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Despite all the pain and sadness, it’s in these conversations where happiness lies. They mention her, we smile and laugh, and we all remember Amelia as a wonderful moment in our lives, rather than a tragic event. This helps us heal, and that healing will carry on.
Dan Lipscombe is a video game journalist and father


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--More Than Half Of People In Poverty Come From Working Families – So Why Can't They Make Ends Meet?

A disabled single parent who got pushed through a windowpane as a child and lost movement in both arms is just one of millions of Brits stuck in poverty despite being in work.
Single mum Sarah Whitehead, from Salford, had a lifetime Disability Living Allowance award cancelled when the government reformed the benefits system, and faced reassessment for the new Personal Independence Payment (PIP).
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“Having seen all the reports in the papers about people with cancer, with severe disabilities and really serious diseases who had been told they were fit to work, I decided not to get reassessed,” she told HuffPost UK.
“I just didn’t want to face it. It’s not just the stress and anxiety of making ends meet – it’s how they make you feel when you’re there.”
She added: “But because of that, I lost all the extra support I got with housing costs and council tax, which means I’m now behind on my bill payments. As soon as I get paid for the last three months of work I did, I’ll put that straight into clearing my debts.”
Sarah is self-employed and works with charities as a community engagement consultant. She lives with her 12-year-old son.
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“I can’t really apply for Universal Credit, either, because my income isn’t the same from one month to the next, and that isn’t taken into account,” she said.
“The system just isn’t fit for purpose. 100% of the people I know don’t have any savings at all to fall back on – there’s nothing in the bank.
“Unless the government does something to change things now, even more people are going to end up in poverty and that’s not something I want to see.”
Sarah Whitehead is a single mum from Salford Sarah Whitehead
Like Sarah, more than half of people in poverty in the UK are not unemployed but rather part of working families, the Joseph Rowntree Foundation revealed on Friday.
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Poorly-paid jobs offering too few hours, soaring rent costs and benefits issues are among the reasons many are failing to make ends meet, with 14m people struggling daily. Of those, 56% live in a households where at least one person is employed – compared to 39% two decades ago.
The foundation’s state of the nation report on poverty, released on Friday, also shows hardship has risen for both children and pensioners in the last five years.
It blames the 15-year lack of a “sustained period where all the four main drivers of poverty – jobs, earnings, benefit rates and rents – have gone in the right direction”.
“At the beginning of that 15-year period, rents started rising, then during the Great Recession employment levels and earnings fell. Following that, benefit increases have lagged behind both prices and average incomes,” the organisation said.
Its data is based on a “poverty indicator”, defined as being when a family has an income that is less than 60% of the median for their family type after housing costs.
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Working single parents have been swept into poverty fastest, with three-in-10 now struggling to stay afloat, compared to two-in-10 a decade ago.
A foodbank volunteer stores donations at St John's Church before distributing them to local foodbanks on January 28, 2019, in Stalybridge Anthony Devlin via Getty Images
The Trussell Trust, which runs food bank networks across the country, says the five-week wait to receive initial Universal Credit payments is partly to blame – something ministers have been repeatedly asked to scrap.
Chief executive Emma Revie said: “The findings from JRF’s report today could not be clearer: for too many people it’s becoming harder and harder to keep their heads above water.”
She added: “We need to start putting money back into the pockets of people who most need support, by ending the five week wait for Universal Credit; ensuring benefit payments cover the cost of living; and investing in local emergency support for people in crisis.
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“As a country, we can’t shy away from the changes that would make a real difference to pull people out of poverty and ultimately, end the need for food banks in the UK. It’s in our power to make a change.”
JRF’s figures show regional differences, with poverty rates higher in London, the north of England, the midlands and Wales, and lowest in the south (excluding London), Scotland and Northern Ireland. Availability of good quality jobs and housing costs are among the major factors at play, as well as a household being home to a disabled person or a carer.
Those who work in hospitality or retail, and those who live in rented housing, are also more like to be on the breadline.
Lone parents contacted by JRF reportedly talked about “dehumanising” work, feeling trapped “in a never-ending circle” by the benefits system, and being “stuck” in unaffordable or insecure housing.
Their situation is worsened by the cost and availability of transport and childcare, the organisation claims.
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JRF executive director Claire Ainsley said Boris Johnson’s government has a “historic opportunity” to change lives with a better deal for working families.
“That better deal needs to encompass the basics we all need – from building new homes to funding social security and bringing better jobs to all parts of the country.” she added.
“If the next decade is to see true levelling up it will be because we have broken the grip of poverty and unlocked the UK’s potential, not because we invested in eye-catching schemes. As a nation, we have made progress before, and we can and must do so again with this new government and a new settlement after Brexit.”
A spokesperson for the Department for Work and Pensions said: “Tackling poverty will always be a priority for this government. We know that getting into work is the best route out of poverty and there are more people in work than ever before. Wages are outstripping inflation and absolute poverty is lower than in 2010.
“We know that some need more help, which is why we spend over £95 billion a year on working-age benefits. Millions will see their benefit payments rise further from April and we’re also boosting the incomes of pensioners each year through the triple lock.”


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--How Bottling Up Your Grief Can Actually Harm Your Body

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Grief is personal. We all will deal with the loss of a friend or family member in a different way. But science is helping us understand something: that bottling up your emotions after someone dies is bad for you both physically and mentally.
As the nation mourns the loss of Queen Elizabeth II, the royal family are grieving a family member, and in full view of the world. King Charles III and his siblings have lost a mother. Princes William and Harry have each released emotional tributes to their grandmother; and their children will no doubt be missing their great-grandmother. Grief hits differently through the generations.
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But they must allow themselves to feel it.
Prince Harry has been incredibly vocal in the past about how containing his grief after the death of his mum, Princess Diana, meant he faced two years of “total chaos”, until he went to see a counsellor about it.
He said at the time: “I can safely say that losing my mum at the age of 12, and therefore shutting down all of my emotions for the last 20 years, has had a quite serious effect on not only my personal life but my work as well.”
And the physical repercussions can also be huge.
A 2020 study from Rice University, Texas, found people who avoid expressing their emotions suffer more bodily inflammation than those who express their emotions freely.
If you’re wondering why that matters, inflammation is linked to a host of negative health conditions, including serious cardiovascular issues like stroke and heart attack.
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Researchers spoke to 99 people who had recently lost a spouse. They were asked how they were coping with the loss of their loved one and to rate, on a scale of one to seven, how closely they agreed with statements about certain coping strategies. They also had blood tests to measure inflammation levels.
Those who bottled up their emotion were found to have higher levels of bodily inflammation. “These findings really highlight the importance of acknowledging one’s emotions after the death of a spouse rather than bottling them up,” said Christopher Fagundes, an associate professor of psychology at Rice University.
Expressing emotions immediately after loss can promote better physical and mental health outcomes, researchers said, while noting that, after a certain amount of time, if could actually signal severe and prolonged mental and physical health issues, they noted.
The study’s results aren’t surprising. Previous research has linked chronic psychological stress with the body losing its ability to regulate the inflammatory response, and therefore promoting the development and progression of disease. And it’s not the first time bottling up emotion has been linked to negative health outcomes either.
A 2013 study by researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health and the University of Rochester found people who suppressed their emotions increased their chance of an early death by more than 30%. It also increased their risk of being diagnosed with cancer by 70%.
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CSA-Archive via Getty Images
Counsellor and psychotherapist Nora Allali-Carling says the fact that bottling up emotions can impact the body physically is nothing new. She often sees clients who are bereaved struggle with irritable bowel syndrome, for example.
“Often you find people have lower immune systems after a bereavement, particularly with a spouse or significant other,” she explains. “Colds, coughs, aches and pains is another common one, especially in the shoulders and upper limbs.” Her clients will often report pain around the chest and stomach, too.
“With a bereavement where somebody bottles up those emotions, all those feelings – negative or positive – remain in the body,” she continues. “Not being able to share those, or express those, does impact the body.”
Cruse Bereavement Care supports around 60,000 people a year, either face-to-face or on the phone. “We find many of the people who turn to us have experienced physical health problems after they have been bereaved,” says Andy Langford, the charity’s chief operating officer.
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“This is why talking about how you feel is so important. Not only can this lift the intense weight of grief, but over time it can contribute to making you feel physically better. Isolation can starve us of this human contact and we can feel worse. So it is vital to speak with someone you can trust, this could be a family member a close friend or support services like Cruse.”
As for why people might bottle up grief in this way, Allali-Carling says: “The emotion is so strong and intense, it can be overwhelming and all-consuming. You don’t really know how to show it until people have given you permission to grieve, but also you have given yourself permission to grieve.
“A lot of people don’t know what to do with those feelings.”
If you are struggling with a bereavement and it’s impacting day-to-day life, she recommends seeing your GP as a first port of call, who can refer you to a therapist.
There are plenty of charities, like Cruse, which also offer support and online forums can be a helpful way to speak with other people who are bereaved.
A spokesperson for charity Widowed and Young adds: “We would advise anyone who has been bereaved to talk to other people about how they are feeling – whether that’s to a friend, relative, health professional or to other people who have been through the same thing.”
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Useful websites and helplines:


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--The Rudest Things You Can Do At A Restaurant

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People dine at restaurants all the time, but that doesn’t mean they should behave the way they do when they eat in the comforts of home.
“Eating is the only biological necessity we sometimes do as a social function,” Jodi R.R. Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, told HuffPost. “We have to eat to stay alive. But we’re supposed to be eating in a way that enhances, rather than distracts from, other guests’ dining experience.”
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While there are obviously countless ultra-rude restaurant scenarios we can conjure in our imaginations, there are also everyday faux pas diners should try to avoid. After all, you should strive to be on your best behaviour while dining in public.
Maskot via Getty Images Eating at a restaurant is a different experience than, say, downing pizza on your couch at home.
HuffPost asked Smith and other etiquette experts to identify some rude behaviours they often observe while dining at restaurants. Read on for 10 examples.
Being On Your Phone
If you receive a phone call while dining in a restaurant, it’s best to step outside or walk to the bathroom or entry area to take it.
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“People don’t need to hear your business while they’re dining,” said Patricia Rossi, a civility expert, keynote speaker and author of “Everyday Etiquette.”
Beyond phone calls, a good rule of thumb is to keep your mobile device out of sight and either on silent, airplane mode or completely off while you eat at a restaurant.
“I don’t like devices on the table where I’m going to be eating,” Smith noted. “First of all, they’re dirty. They’ve been on your ear, your hair, your back pocket. You’ve spit on them. They’ve fallen on the floor.”
The other issue is the distraction factor. Unless you have a very important reason to keep your phone out, there’s no need to look at it while sharing a meal with someone.
“When I have dinner with somebody, the whole point is to enjoy each other’s company. I want my focus to be the people around me,” Smith explained. “If I’m going to stare at my phone, I could’ve stayed home.”
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Snapping Your Fingers At Servers
“You should never ever snap your fingers at a waiter or wave your arms around wildly,” Rossi emphasised. “All you have to do is make eye contact, smile and nod, and they’ll come over.”
If your server has gone MIA, you can similarly try to get another server’s attention or get up and ask the host or maître d’ to find them.
Refusing to snap your fingers is a matter of respect, and as Rossi noted, the golden rule applies.
“Think: ‘How would you want someone to treat you, or to treat your child or your parent if they were a waiter?’” she said.
andresr via Getty Images It's important to be respectful of your server.
Making Loud Noises
It’s OK to have an upbeat, enjoyable conversation if you’re dining with a group, but you should be aware of your fellow diners.
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“Laughs and all that are great, but what’s not is the drunk, loud, sloppy, F-bombing people,” Rossi said. “Don’t be that Drunk Danny that has too many and embarrasses the table.”
The biggest thing you can do is read the room. You don’t want to create a ruckus in a subdued environment or make it impossible for your neighbours to have their own conversations.
“The guideline is that one should have good manners wherever one goes. That given, there are differences by venue,” Smith noted. “Restaurants with loud music allow patrons to have boisterous conversation. Manners are not robotic, nor are they set in stone. It is up to the individual to pause to assess the atmosphere and then adjust their manners to fit the situation.”
Not Attending To Your Children
Of course, kids will be kids, but the way adults deal with tough situations can show consideration toward others.
“It’s rude to allow your children to scream or your toddler to have a loud tantrum that isn’t attended to. We have to be aware of other people who are there for a relaxing time,” said Diane Gottsman, national etiquette expert, author of “Modern Etiquette for a Better Life” and founder of The Protocol School of Texas. “Remove them from the situation until they can calm down. Or just don’t bring kids who are exhausted and cranky to a restaurant. Don’t blame the child, they’re behaving like a child.”
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While this is a situation in which taking out a mobile device may be helpful, parents should be mindful of this approach as well.
“Last week, I saw someone’s child being entertained by a loud cartoon on an iPhone!” Rossi recalled.
“Manners are not robotic, nor are they set in stone. It is up to the individual to pause to assess the atmosphere and then adjust their manners to fit the situation.” - Jodi R.R. Smith
Putting Bodily Functions On Display
“Belching ― as well as other gas ― should be restricted, as should excessive coughing or nose blowing at the table,” said Smith. “If you need to blow your nose, excuse yourself.”
She also advised against double dipping if there’s a communal plate in the middle of the table with a dip, olive oil or salsa. And of course, there’s the matter of chewing.
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“Chew with your mouth closed. Don’t talk and chew at once. Don’t take giant mouthfuls of food,” Smith instructed, adding that diners should avoid hunching over and shovelling food into their mouths.
“In some cultures they do that, but you should generally try to bring your food to your face, not your face to your food,” she noted.
Taking Food Without Permission
Don’t taste food off someone else’s plate without their permission ― and if you do, don’t do it with a utensil that has already touched your lips.
“It’s rude to pick off people’s plates without permission,” said Gottsman. “Some people just reach over and grab a few fries or stick their fingers into your sauce to taste it. Or there are the people who say, ‘I’m not going to order anything because I’m not hungry’ but then eat off everyone else’s plates.”
If you’re eating with friends or family and want to share dishes, talk about it in advance. You can even inquire if it’s possible to split the food onto separate plates. If you just want a small taste, wait for your dining companion to offer it to you or politely ask.
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Gottsman also recommended using a bread plate or asking for a sharing plate when offering bites to fellow diners.
Putting Your Feet Up
Even if an establishment has a more casual atmosphere, it’s very rude to put your feet up on the table or chair (unless you have a significant reason, like an injury that needs to be elevated).
“I see people put their feet up in cafes like Panera,” said Rossi. “It’s not your home! Do not put your feet up in the booth or on another chair. People are eating and don’t want to see your flip-flops and pedicure or worn-out shoes.”
LeoPatrizi via Getty Images Put your phone away when you're dining with someone at a restaurant.
Drenching Yourself In Perfume
Etiquette is rooted in consideration for others. So when dining in public, it’s good to be mindful of your odours and how they may alter other patrons’ experiences. For Rossi, this involves toning down the perfume.
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“Keep your spritzing to a minimum. It can affect people’s food,” she said. “Don’t show up drowned in a perfume bottle.”
Expecting Your Companion To Pay
In business and formal dining situations, the general etiquette rule is that if you invite someone to a meal, you pay for it. So it’s best to reach for the check when it arrives.
“Don’t let the check sit there like a time bomb or wait it out to see if they’ll grab it first,” said Gottsman.
If you’re eating a casual meal with a friend, don’t assume they’ll pay either. Just see if you spent comparable amounts, and if so, split it evenly. And of course, there are evolving rules and norms in the dating arena.
Undertipping
“In many states, employers are allowed to pay below minimum wage for tipping jobs, so I tip a standard 20%,” said Smith. “If they ignored me throughout the meal and went out and had a smoke, I may dock to 15% but I’d never tip less than that. I’d talk to the manager instead.”
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Gottsman and Rossi noted that a bad dining experience isn’t necessarily the fault of the server, and your tip can impact a larger group of workers beyond the individual waiter.
“Don’t punish the whole line of people for whom that’s their livelihood,” said Rossi, noting that tips are often split between servers, runners, bus people, hosts, bartenders and other staff.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-02-07--Marcus Trescothick Reflects On Cricket And Mental Illness, Two Constants In His Life

Harry Trump / Getty Images / HuffPost UK Marcus Trescothick: "It's not feeling comfortable in any environment."
Head In The Game sees athletes across a variety of disciplines speak candidly about their mental wellbeing – from occasional periods of poor mental health to ongoing, sometimes debilitating, struggles with mental illness. They also share coping mechanisms and the support they’ve turned to during their lowest points.
“It’s a lack of sleep, constant tremors and a shaking feeling,” cricketing legend Marcus Trescothick says of the mix of anxiety and depression he’s struggled with since childhood. “It’s not being able to eat or drink properly, not feeling comfortable in any environment and, in your own mind, just mulling over the worst thing that can happen, constantly, seeing the bad in every situation.”
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The feeling is hard to explain, Trescothick says – and it never quite goes away, Even when sleep offers some release, he’s rarely afforded a full night of rest.
“You’re waking up the next day not feeling refreshed, or in control, because the anxiety will kick in from 3, 4, 5 o’clock in the morning and live with you until you go to bed at 10 or 11 o’clock that night,” he says. “It’s a constant feeling of being on edge, and uncomfortableness, and generally unhappy – there’s no hiding place from it.” When the depression inevitably hits, the former cricketer feels his mood plummet into sadness. Sometimes he will he cry.
Harry Trump via Getty Images “Things were developing in my personal life and I think that made a big impact."
Ever since growing up in Bristol, Trescothick has lived and breathed cricket, but also struggled with his mental health. But despite illness getting in the way of some of his biggest career highs, internationally, Trescothick has found his workarounds. And with the help of medication and therapy, he has managed his mental health and illness, and continued to succeed on home soil.
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Getting to this point wasn’t easy. In 2006, Trescothick, then 30 and acting captain of the England cricket team, suffered a breakdown on tour in India and was forced to fly home. “Things were developing in my personal life – like having children – and I think that made a big impact,” reflects the father-of-two.
“Suddenly I had this very young child around and it was like: what the hell do I do? I was trying to get to grips with it.” His anxiety and depression had been “behind the scenes for a long, long time,” he says. Becoming a father, then leaving to spend long bouts away from his family “just made it a lot worse”.
Later that year, Trescothick was part of the famous Ashes squad in Australia but became so overwhelmed that once again he had to fly back home. Newspapers hinted at a stress-related illness. “Trescothick will miss the rest of the Ashes tour, and his career as an international cricketer is now, surely, in serious doubt,” the Guardian reported at the time.
When he attempted another tour overseas in 2008, this time to Dubai with the Somerset cricket team, Trescothick had another breakdown in the corner of Dixons at Heathrow Airport. The announcement of his retirement from international cricket followed soon after.
He became the first high-profile active cricketer to go public with his depression and anxiety, an experience he wrote about in his book, Coming Back To Me. “I needed to tell people my own story,” he says now of his motivations. “I needed to right a few wrongs that had been written about me in various media outlets. I needed to tell the truth, and I needed to not be hiding away from it anymore.”
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Harry Trump via Getty Images "There are factors that come with professional sport that could contribute to people’s poor mental health."
Trescothick, now 44, and fully retired from the sport, says he had struggled with poor mental health from a young age but took years to understand it. As an 11-year-old staying away from home to play cricket, he thought what he was experiencing was just homesickness. But in hindsight: “The anxieties were exactly the same, the feelings were the same, the emotions were the same.”
When the diagnosis of anxiety and depression finally came in his early thirties, it was like a fog had cleared. “It gave me a bit more clarity, first and foremost, because once I was in the place where I was – and it was a fairly tough place at that time – I needed something to be able to give me a bit of direction, just to make me understand exactly what was happening,” he says.
“Once you put a name to it, you can almost start understanding what the process is to get better.”
Flying back from India after that first breakdown in 2006, all he could think was “something is drastically wrong, take me to hospital, someone needs to look after me,” he recalls. “Once you put a name to it, then you can almost start understanding what the process is to get better, and coping with it, and then you see the journey ahead to see how you’re going to get better.”
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English cricketers are almost twice as likely to die by suicide compared to the average English male, a 2001 study found, with a higher suicide rate than players of any other sport. Asked if the nature of international cricket contributed to his poor mental health, Trescothick, who is now settled in Taunton, Somerset with wife Hayley and their two kids, says not in his case.
“I don’t blame any of what goes on – or I don’t attribute any of the blame – to my health problems, but it doesn’t help,” he says. “You’re travelling to New Zealand, the jet lag takes a good week or 10 days to get over. You spend a lot of time away from home, you’re talking 300 nights a year, away from your house, either in hotels or foreign countries.”
He does acknowledge the particular pressures of the sport. “I’ve spoken to people since – and this is not my case – but for them it’s their trigger,” he says. “So of course there are factors that come with professional sport that could contribute to people’s poor mental health – the pressure, environment, the up and down of emotions from success and failure, all the signs that would breed towards causing trouble. But it’s so individual to everybody, isn’t it?”
For him, the anxiety has always been the bigger challenge, more so than the depression – “but you’ve got to try and treat the two at the same time,” he says.
As far as treatment goes, Trescothick has accessed cognitive behavioural therapy through the Professional Cricketers’ Association and takes two medications – an antidepressant and an anti-anxiety tablet.
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“I played around with them – being on them for a period of time and then coming off them for a period of time,” he says of his meds. “Gradually I worked out I was getting too many ups and downs, and I needed to have a maintenance dose and be on it full-time, and that’s really made a big difference.
“The combination of two different tablets has really helped me. I know people are reluctant with medications, but for me it’s been a massive help because I’ve seen the difference of what it does when I’m on, and when I’m not on, them.”
Dan Mullan via Getty Images
He’s of the belief that treatment for a mental illness should be tailored to the individual – and that people should try different strategies to see what works for them. “I don’t think it’s a set way of saying ‘right you have to have this medication and you have to have this therapy’,” he explains.
“It’s more: ‘Ok, let’s combine it with maybe mindfulness and yoga and all these sorts of things.’ Find your own solution. It’s playing around, working out what you can do and understanding where you can go with it, really, that makes it benefit for you.”
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His illness still rears its head “fairly regularly”, he says, but he has learned a lot about it, and the more he understands it, the more he is able to manage it. If he begins to feel like “an attack is coming”, the first thing he will do is amend his medication, and then let his counsellors know that he needs to see them.
“Quite often I throw myself into stuff, try and keep busy to get my brain distracted more than anything else, because it’s the constant going over in your head that really grinds you down,” he says. “If I can get out of that, focus on other tasks, and try and stay in the moment of what is actually going on, that definitely helps me also.
“You do get control of it quicker, it’s still unpleasant when the anxiety kicks in – but you do learn to get a grip of it quicker. It’s a nice feeling to know you can get on top of it and put it to bed quickly before it gets too dangerous.”
Visit HuffPost UK’s dedicated Head in the Game site to read our full series of interviews with sports people about their mental health and wellbeing.
Getty Images / HuffPost UK
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Getty Images / HuffPost UK Head In The Game interviewees: (top, left to right) Frank Bruno, Jordanne Whiley, Becky Downie, Elise Christie, Andrew Strauss; (bottom, left to right) Rebecca Adlington, Liam Broady, Eniola Aluko, Marcus Trescothick, Jo Pavey.
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