thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-09--How Does Vaginismus Impact Women's Lives? Listen To Our Latest Podcast

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It’s featured in storylines on Netflix shows such as Unorthodox and Sex Education, but vaginismus is still rarely spoken about IRL. Why?
The condition – which causes the vaginal muscles to involuntarily tighten – affects millions of people around the world. Yet as with many topics relating to women’s bodies and sexual wellbeing, it’s shrouded in shame. The latest episode of Am I Making You Uncomfortable? aims to end the silence.
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We hear from listeners about how vaginismus has affected their mental health, sex lives and access to healthcare, plus speak to Lisa Mackenzie, founder of the Vaginismus Network, about her personal experience.
We also learn more about the condition from Dr Wafaa Eltantawy, a qualified psychosexual therapist, relationship counsellor and gynaecologist, who tells us about the causes and treatment.
Join in the conversation on social media by using the hashtag #AIMYU – and go behind the scenes by subscribing to our podcast newsletter to hear what inspired us to tackle the topics you’re probably too squeamish to talk about.
HuffPost UK Am I Making You Uncomfortable? co-hosts Brogan Driscoll and Rachel Moss
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Episode 7: Transcript
Brogan Driscoll
Hello, and welcome to HuffPost brand new weekly podcast, Am I Making You Uncomfortable? Presented by me, Brogan Driscoll.
Rachel Moss
And me Rachel Moss. This podcast is a frank, honest conversation about women’s bodies, health and private lives. This week, we’re discussing vaginismus. If you’ve not heard of it before, vaginismus is a condition that causes the vaginal muscles to suddenly tighten up on their own, just as you try to insert something, be that a tampon, a finger, a penis or even the equipment used during a smear test. It’s actually quite common. It’s thought to affect every two in a 1000 people, but because there’s such a taboo around talking about it, the prevalence may actually be much higher.
Brogan
We’ll be joined by Lisa Mackenzie, co-founder of The Vaginismus Network and Dr. Wafaa Eltantawy, qualified psychosexual therapist, relationship counselor, and gynecologist. You’re listening to, Am I Making You Uncomfortable? And the hashtag is A-I-M-Y-U.
Testimimonial 1:
Vaginismus is totally involuntary. When those muscles close up, it feels like there’s no opening to my vagina at all. When you push too hard, it’s like being stabbed with a huge knife, which was my first smear test experience. I grew up with some unbalanced views about sex, and I didn’t even try penetrative sex until my mid 30s.
Testimonial 2:
My marriage ended because of my vaginismus. I was 28 when I got married. I’d been waiting my whole life to have sex. I’d come from a cultural background where it was really important to be pure and to save yourself, and so I didn’t really know what was going to happen, I guess. We tried for four years. He wasn’t the most patient, and eventually he ended up falling in love with someone else, and I was left heartbroken and alone.
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Brogan
It’s so interesting that vaginismus is, as you say, quite common because until recently I’d never really heard about it. And it was only recently, at the beginning of lockdown, that I’ve ever seen it referenced in popular culture. So, I don’t know about you but I think I was one of the many people who basically devoured Unorthodox, a Netflix series based on a true story by Deborah Feldman. It’s about a young Hasidic Jewish woman who flees her arranged marriage and community in Brooklyn to move to Berlin. Without giving too many spoilers away, because obviously there’ll be some people who didn’t devour it as quickly as I did, but one of the key elements in it (in her marriage and why her marriage was an unhappy one) was all of the pressures put on them as a couple to consummate the marriage. And basically it turned out later on in the series, you find that she has vaginismus. And there are some really, really awful but powerful scenes of them as a young couple in bed, trying to have sex and her being in so much pain that she is wailing in agony and crying. And the whole narrative around it, at least from his perspective, is that the reason they can’t consummate the marriage is because it’s her fault. And all her family know about it and the whole onus around it is placed on her. It’s such an awful thing to watch. Did you watch it?
Rachel
Yeah, yeah. I also did and those scenes that you are referencing: I almost feel my body tighten as I think about them now. Because the actress that plays the protagonist in that, she was so, so brilliant and just her face showed the pain that she was clearly in. But also, the dialogue they had around it, I think there was one point where she said to him, “Just do it” even though it was obviously really painful for her. And the emotional side of it as well was really, really traumatic to view, but super, super powerful - as you said, I think it’s important that we see these things. It’s interesting, as you said, I also haven’t really seen vaginismus in popular culture that much before, but funnily enough in the past 6 months I think I’ve seen it three times. So it’s gone from nothing to suddenly I’ve seen it quite frequently - which is a really good thing.
Before I watched Unorthodox, I actually saw vaginismus for the first time on screen in Sex Education. A character in Sex Education called Lily has vaginismus and she describes it by saying, “My vagina is like a venus fly trap.” The reason I loved the scene with Lily so much is because she’s talking to a girl that she has just started dating about her vaginismus, it completely gets away from that hetero idea that vaginismus is all about ‘P’ and ‘V’, when its not at all, its so much more than that. And Lily says, “You know, I struggle with having a finger inside me or a tampon inside me” and then the girl she’s dating says something along the lines of, “Well how do you masturbate?” and then she says, “Oh I just stick to the outside.” Which I absolutely love because one of the things, when we’ve written about vaginismus in the past that comes up as well, is this idea that people with vaginismus don’t want sex or aren’t sexual people, which isn’t true. It’s a complete myth. So having a character like Lily say, “I still masturbate. I’m still sexual. I just can’t do it internally” - such an important thing to have on screen and I thought that was absolutely brilliant for them to do that.
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Brogan
Yeah. So true because also in Unorthodox there’s sexual tension between the main character and another man where there’s a lot of desire there between them, so that also goes against that. There were times when she couldn’t physically have sex, but then she was still attracted to and desired another person, which speaks to that, I guess, in Sex Education.
Rachel
And then the third time where I’ve seen vaginismus recently is in Holly Bourne’s new book which is called Pretending. I don’t want to give too much away about it because it’s only come out last month and people might not have picked it up yet, but the central character in that again has vaginismus. And the book really goes into the psychology behind the condition.
So she says very early on in the book that her vaginismus is caused by a sexual assault in the past, which we know for some women vaginismus is caused by trauma. For some women it might be caused by childbirth or a medical condition. Or other women: they don’t know what causes their vaginismus and actually that can be just as frustrating because then you have no answers. So Holly’s book was so great in exploring why you might have it in the first place, but then how it also impacts your life particularly if you are dating. So the protagonist in Pretending is, I think she’s in her late twenties or early thirties, and she’s going on all these dates and she’s going, “Oh my god, I want to sleep with this guy, but when do I tell him, when do I tell him, when do I tell him?” And, of course, that internal dialogue is making everything physically harder when she does eventually come to have sex. And you read it and it’s...there are parts of that book that are so relatable that I think even if you don’t have vaginismus you can then relate to what having that condition must be like. And it sounds really tough and definitely something we need to talk about more.
Brogan
I’m super excited to have the guests on the podcast today because there’s just so much to talk about in terms of vaginismus and so many different experiences and causes and just really excited to have the guests on.
Brogan
Today, we’re joined by Lisa Mackenzie, the co-founder of The Vaginismus Network, a community for people with vaginismus which aims to educate, connect, support and empower people who are living with this condition.
Rachel
So, Lisa, thank you so much for joining us today. I was hoping we could kick things off by talking about your experience, because I know you set up the network because you have had vaginismus yourself. Can you describe what it feels like and when you started experiencing it?
Lisa Mackenzie
Yeah, of course. So, I would say it’s been a big part of my life since the age of about 16 or 17 when I first got into a relationship, and it was apparent quite early on that penetrative sex was a difficult thing for us to achieve. It’s been a part of my life, I guess, in terms of not talking about it to anybody - so it dominated my life in a big way - up until about the age of 32. I’m 36 now, so when I first started to open up to people more about it. And it’s crazy to think that I didn’t ever talk about it, but I think because there’s a lot of shame and stigma attached to this condition, I just completely closed in and didn’t know how to communicate to others about it. I didn’t have a name for it for so long, so I couldn’t articulate what I was feeling.
Lisa Mackenzie
I was with my first serious boyfriend for eight years. And very early on, it became apparent that penetration was difficult. We didn’t really talk about it: I’d say we might have attempted to too early on, but communication shut down in that regard quite quickly. It was our first serious relationship. We didn’t have a template for what good looked like, and we didn’t know how to talk about it. And I think we both felt a lot of shame because our friends all around us were supposedly having fun and having sex as the standard way that’s put out there in the media. It did impact our relationship, in that we had a sex life in other ways. I’m always clear that sex is more than penis in vagina, but for a long time, I didn’t feel that or believe that.
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I guess, because we couldn’t achieve this one gold standard way of having sex, it undermined everything else that we did, and I certainly over compensated in many ways. Because for a long time, I carried a lot of embarrassment, guilt and shame that I couldn’t give him this one thing. So I did all sorts of other things that maybe I didn’t want to at the time, but I felt that it had to because I had to be this woman and give him everything else that I possibly could. That relationship broke down, and then I didn’t know, still, what the issue was.
Over the years, I Googled some of the symptoms and I did come across the word vaginismus, but everything that I read, for me, as a young girl growing up with thinking I might have this condition, it felt quite scary and it made me feel quite helpless. I understand fully how this condition can control and dominate your life and make you feel like it is the end of the world, and make you feel heartbroken and all these things. I totally get that. I’m not undermining it, but all the information out there that I was reading, it was things like case studies around women saying how there’s just no future or they’re failures, or they don’t see a way out.
Brogan
How did you get the diagnosis then if this is taking you into what, late 20s?
Lisa Mackenzie
I didn’t deal with it when I thought, well, it could be vaginismus. The stuff that I found put me off, so I shut the laptop. I was like, “Nope, that’s not me.” And then it was actually by chance, it was a really good friend of mine whose auntie is a psychosexual therapist and she’s got a good psychosexual therapist network and it was through that that gradually I started to come to terms with the fact that, ok, it is vaginismus. I remember my therapist mentioned the word early on and I, again, shut down. I said, “I don’t want to be associated with that. Thank you very much.” But it was just through that process that I gradually came to terms with it.
Brogan
And I know that’s a big part of why you set up the network as well, wasn’t it? Because as you say, there’s so many negative portrayals about vaginismus out there rather than empowering portrayals. Was that one of the core reasons why you wanted to create the network?
Lisa Mackenzie
Yeah. The core reason we set it up was to connect other people with vaginismus, primarily. We said there should be more ways to connect people with this condition. We match people who joined the network based on age, if they’re happy to give it, and location and how they’d like to meet. But we also connect people through events and, as you say, we also wanted to put out information that was just a bit more human and empowering as well. I want people to know that I get how it feels. It is really shit and it’s overwhelming and it can feel like the end of the world, but shouldn’t define you and it should be something you control rather than the other way around.
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Brogan
Are there any common misconceptions around sex and vaginismus that you would like to bust?
Lisa Mackenzie
The first one is that sex is so much more than penis in vagina, and I could bang on about that all day. But as a young girl, growing up with vaginismus and feeling like I can’t have penetrative sex or penetrative sex is a very difficult thing, like I say, it undermines anything else you do sexually.
Foreplay should be a word that’s banned. I think it’s all included. You can have sex in any way, shape or form that you want. The term virginity is not a useful one as well. I think it’s an unhelpful label. I think it’s a social construct, and I think it’s not something to lose. It’s not a thing. So I’d say reframing things like that are definitely useful when you’re going through something like vaginismus.
Brogan
And it doesn’t just affect sex as well.
Lisa Mackenzie
Yeah, it’s more than about sex and a penis. For some women, they can’t insert the tip of their finger, a tampon, a moon cup. It makes cervical smear tests incredibly difficult or traumatic. So it’s definitely penetration more broadly. I think that’s an important point to remember actually, because people often think it’s just about sex and that’s the only way it’s impacting. But it’s definitely more broader than that.
Brogan
There are many, many stories of women going for years without speaking about vaginismus or seeking help, or accessing any of those treatments. I know you mentioned earlier that you were in an eight year relationship and you didn’t really tackle it outside of that relationship for a long time. Why do you think so many people affected by vaginismus delay getting any help or speaking about it?
Lisa Mackenzie
I can touch upon my experience, but it might be slightly different now because I’m not 17 anymore. But back then, for me, it was definitely the shame that comes with it. So I think when you can’t have sex, for example, in the normal and inverted commas way, you feel like a bit of a failure. I know as a young woman with it, I felt like I was broken or the only person in the world dealing with it, and it’s incredibly confusing and heartbreak and still with. I think sex in general, especially back then it was a more difficult topics to broach as well. So I think the shame and the stigma definitely play a major part in it.
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Lisa Mackenzie
I’d say that for some women who want to get diagnosed, they might visit their GP and either be misdiagnosed or treated quite flippantly, which can, again, prolong the time they take to get treated. I hear about women who ... and by the way, I’m not tarring all GPs with the same brush because there are some wonderful ones out there and I hear about some amazing ones, but there’s also some that I’ve heard about who tell you to go and relax and drink a glass of wine. Or I’ve heard of a girl who’s been told to go and have more sex or go and have less sex, or you’re young, you’ll grow out of it. It’s fine.
[crosstalk] No, and I feel really strongly about this because actually, when you go and speak to a GP about something like this, it can be scary. It can be such a personal thing, and you should go safe in the knowledge that you’re going to be met with understanding and compassion and be listened to. But it feels like it’s such a lucky dip and it shouldn’t be the case. But I guess I believe the main reason is just the shame that people feel when they’re living with something like this. It does make you feel like you’ve failed in some way, which it totally shouldn’t, but it does.
Brogan
What advice would you give to couples who are dealing with vaginismus right now and are in the position that you were?
Lisa Mackenzie
Well, I can’t advise based on my own experience because I was a mute for eight years, so we won’t go with that. From my experience of opening up to friends, I guess you could apply it to a partner as well, and thinking of vaginismus and dating. I decided to finally open up to one friend, and I sent her an email explaining exactly what I was feeling and saying, I think it’s vaginismus because I personally found it uncomfortable to communicate face to face. I’d say, when I’m dating and I feel comfortable with somebody and I think I want to open up to them about it, I would keep it simple.
I’ve dated in the past and I’ve been very apologetic, and almost feeling like a burden. So when I felt more confident and dated with vaginismus, I basically just explained to the person that penetrative sex has always been a more difficult thing for me. I can have a sex life in other ways whilst we work through that, but it’s not a big deal. And I think absolutely do not apologize. I think you just need to explain that in terms of penetration, you just need a bit more support and it just needs to take it a little bit slower. I think communication is absolutely key, so do the opposite of what I did when I was young. Communicate a lot.
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It can be incredibly hard, but I think it’s the only way to work through this with a partner. If you take penetration off the table for a while, actually it takes the pressure off things and you can be sexual in other ways. And then maybe that part will become easier. For women who are undergoing treatment for vaginismus and are maybe dilating, they might want to introduce dilating into the bedroom with their partner as well. So get their partner to use the dilators on them or other sex toys just to make them feel more part of it. I speak to women who treat vaginismus and their sex life with their partner quite separately. And I think there’s something quite powerful about bringing it together and including them in it as well.
Brogan
Dilating is obviously one of the biggest ways this is treated, but can you tell us anything about the other forms of physical therapy that are available?
Lisa Mackenzie
For me, dilating and psychosexual therapy was a winning combination. So the physical exercises at home, and then talking therapies or talking with a psychosexual therapist about vaginismus, normalizing it. Figuring out the why’s and all of that was really, really beneficial. There’s a whole range of sex toys out there though that you can use if you don’t want to use dilators. The sex shop Shush, have got an amazing range and some of them are similar size to dilators, and maybe they vibrate or maybe they just look a bit nicer to you. There’s also-
Rachel
It makes the whole thing feel less medical as well, doesn’t it?
Lisa Mackenzie
[crosstalk] yeah.
Brogan
That’s so true.
Lisa Mackenzie
It was my therapist who put me in touch with Shush in the first place. I was really anti-dilating and I’d reached a stage where I needed to start considering it, but I was really anti it because my only idea of dilating was the hard plastic white…(gesturing here: I always do that)...The hard plastic white ones that you see. And I just thought, “Oh, that looks really cold and clinical, and I don’t want to put that anywhere near myself.” But it was my therapist who put me in touch with Shush, and it was so amazing.
Lisa Mackenzie
I booked a little meeting with them at their shop and the senior store manager, this wonderful lady called Renee, sat down with me and she gave me some Prosecco as well, which was great. She just taught me through the dilators, normalised them. And I left the shop, I still felt like, “Oh, I really don’t want to have to be doing this.” But I felt a lot more empowered than just being given a kit via the NHS or buying one online. It was such an important experience for me.
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Brogan
Lisa, we ask all of our guests that come on the podcast the same question, what makes you uncomfortable?
Lisa Mackenzie
I’m probably going to sound like the worst human ever or slightly ungrateful, but I do genuinely cringe and feel uncomfortable when somebody gives me a present and I have to open it in front of them.
Brogan
Oh, my God, yeah.
Lisa Mackenzie
I close into myself, and I don’t know where it came from in my mind. I think maybe there’s this one second where your true reaction shows. And I think God, “Is someone going to give me a gift and I’ll think, ‘Do you really know me?’ Or, ‘What is this piece of crap?’” And it will show. And I hate offending people so I always just feel really, really uncomfortable with that. I’m the worst gift receiver. I’m a very good gift giver, but I hate it. I’m cringing now.
Rachel
You feel like you have to do a really over the top wow.
Lisa Mackenzie
Yes.
Rachel
Yeah, I like it. Even when you love the present, you seem fake. It’s impossible to get the tone right.
Lisa Mackenzie
I’m glad you get what I mean.
Brogan
Lisa, thank you so much.
Lisa Mackenzie
Thank you so much. That was really nice.
Rachel
Thank you so much.
Brogan
It was really nice to have you. We’ve heard such great stuff about all of your work, so we’re really, really grateful to have you on.
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Testimonial 3
I am 44 years old and I’ve suffered from vaginismus for at least four years. And prior to that, in my 20s, I also suffered from it then. I have secondary vaginismus, which means it’s not a physical cause, but more of a psychological cause that makes it happen. And it feels like pain. It’s physical pain because literally if one is having intercourse, nothing can get in. It just hurts. It’s like smashing against a wall, but the wall is you. Or if a speculum is trying to get in, it’s horrible. It’s burning, it’s painful and it’s emotionally really sad.
Testimonial 4
In my 20s, I was in an abusive relationship. Sex didn’t really matter then because it was one of the ways that my partner controlled me. We didn’t have any. But what did matter to me was the fact that my physiological response was for my vagina to seize up. I couldn’t even get a tampon in.
Testimonial 5
I was in therapy for vaginismus for a few months before I was able to have penetrative sex. I even coped with IVF treatment several years later. But even now, I still can’t use tampons, I can’t insert vibrators, and I find smear tests incredibly stressful and often impossible. But what I’ve learned about vaginismus is that it’s a state of mind and that I am capable of overcoming it.
Rachel
So now, we’re joined by Dr. Wafaa Eltantawy, who is a qualified psychosexual therapist, relationship counsellor and gynecologists. Thank you so much for joining us. We’re really, really pleased to have you here and to get all of the knowledge from you. We’re just going to soak it up.
The first thing I wanted to ask was about the causes of vaginismus. We’ve heard a bit earlier on from Lisa Mackenzie who shared her personal experience of vaginismus. She’s the founder of The Vaginismus Network. But I was hoping you can speak more generally about some of the women that you see in your line of work, and what are some of the reasons behind their own experiences.
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Dr. Wafaa Eltantawy
Thank you very much for having me in your podcast. I’m really pleased to be with you today. Vaginismus is a term used to reflect involuntary spasm of the pelvic floor muscles, which it stops people from having vaginal penetration or sexual intercourse. As you mentioned in your question, it has physical causes, it has psychological causes and it has cultural causes. It has also physiological causes, interpersonal causes and relational causes as well. So if we talk about each of this, it’s really many, many factors involved with vaginismus.
Brogan
Would you be able to talk to us about the different types of vaginismus? Because we understand that there’s primary and secondary.
Dr. Wafaa Eltantawy
Yeah, that’s right. We have primary vaginismus, where the woman can’t have any penetrative sex or other vaginal penetration. So we always ask, have you ever managed to insert tampons? And you will find that woman can’t even touch herself or insert tampons, can’t insert a finger inside her and can’t do any kind of vaginal penetration, either by a partner or by herself. This is what we call primary, and it’s always associated with pain. That’s one thing.
The secondary vaginismus is developed after the woman managed to have painless sexual experience before, and she was absolutely fine. And suddenly, she is not able to have penetrative sex again. And this, it could be a traumatic birth maybe, traumatic operations down there, some infection happened. Any trauma can cause that. I have to say the treatment for both of them are more or less the same, so we need to find the reason for that and treat it.
This brought me to remember a case I dealt with, a woman who was absolutely fine and she had sex for a number of years, and then she had a baby. And she had traumatic birth. She couldn’t have sex after for two years until we met and we worked through the condition. And actually, she managed to have sex. And the first time she had sex, she got pregnant. It’s amazing. Really, it’s amazing.
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It’s a very rewarding work I have to say when you help a woman to overcome her difficulties. So please, please, women, please don’t keep silent. Please come forward and ask for help. Ask your doctor, come to a sexual health clinic, ask your gynaecologist. Anyone you see say, “I have this condition. I need help.”
Rachel
When someone’s in a heterosexual relationship and then the woman’s presenting with vaginismus, do you think it’s really important to get the guys in at the same time? Can you tell us a bit about those sessions? What do you tell men about vaginismus, and why is it so important for them to be there?
Dr. Wafaa Eltantawy
It’s a good point because you see, if you think about a relationship, what does it mean? Relationship means two people in a friendship relationship, sexual relationship, or partner relationship. I always tell them you don’t perform sex alone. You see, you are doing it together. And if you’re doing it together, this means both of you are ... not responsible, I don’t like the word responsible. But I would say both of you have to share or to work together to achieve a satisfactory sexual experience.
There are many studies done about the impact of vaginismus on men. We found that men can develop erectile dysfunction because they keep trying and they couldn’t, and they thought they are not good enough. So straightaway, they lose their erection. So erectile dysfunction, one of them, lack of ejaculation, one of them, and also, lack of desire. Because they can’t perform with a woman or they can’t penetrate, so they feel like it’s their problem as well. So they develop sexual dysfunctions.
So seeing them gives me more information about what’s going on when they try to have sex, because the woman will have her own perception about the problem, the man will have his own perception about the problem. And when you hear them together, it gives you a big perspective or a perspective about how the problem is, what’s going on there. And it’s interesting, every time you talk to the husband or the wife or the partner, you will find different perceptions.
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Brogan
That’s so interesting. What, if any, are the possible cultural influences that leads to vaginismus?
Dr. Wafaa Eltantawy
In some of the Middle East culture, the woman is not having the freedom some men have, alright? So the woman will be: no sexual relationship before marriage and shouldn’t have in a relationship before marriage, and should keep her hymen. Also, one of the things I noticed, the lack of education. You see, we don’t have anything called sex education in the Middle East. Compared with here, even I have some reservation about sex education in UK, because sex education here is about saying no if you don’t want to have sex. Use condoms only. But actually, we don’t teach them what happens when they have sex.
I found that interesting because part of the session we do is explain the sexual response cycle and what happened to your body, what changes you need to have before you manage to have penetration. It’s exactly like a man can’t have sex without having a good erection or an erection, a woman can’t have sex without having a similar physiological changes down there. Get the vagina ready, get the uterus ready, get the clitoris ready, get every part of the genital system ready. And people don’t know that.
Rachel
You mentioned earlier that you’ve been working in this field for 20 years or even more, even longer than that. In that time, has awareness of vaginismus or attitudes towards it changed at all?
Dr. Wafaa Eltantawy
I have to say yes, there’s a bit of awareness. We need to raise awareness between women a lot more. Women should be aware that if they can’t have sex, they shouldn’t blame themselves because it’s interesting. And still to this time, I see women coming alone and they’ll say, “I have a problem.” Yes, you have a problem, but it’s not your problem alone. It’s again, as you’ll hear it here in UK, you say it takes two to tango.
Brogan
[crosstalk] That’s so true. It seems as well the solution or the treatment plan isn’t straightforward either. And from the discussions that we’ve had today and from your work, it seems to be that the route or the popular route to treatment is a combination of physical and psychological therapy. How do these elements work together, and why is it the most effective route?
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If you are a sex therapist and you’re not a qualified medical person, then you will be asking the woman to see a doctor. Because I am a gynecologist, so I have the privilege of examining a woman, and it’s fascinating. You see how women react on the table, on the couch when you examine them. It tells you a lot. It’s very informative, not only to find about the physical reason, but to find about how the woman behave on the couch.
It’s a treatable condition. It’s not difficult to treat. They should just seek help, please. There are many, many other things, you see, we can do to help them. Seeing the couple together or for the therapy, it’s about using vaginal dilators. If there are any physical conditions, we treat the physical condition. There is a lot of help, but please, please seek help. Don’t just keep quiet. It can be treated easily.
Brogan
Thank you. That’s a really great note to end on. We have one final question that we put to all of our podcast guests, which is, what makes you uncomfortable?
Dr. Wafaa Eltantawy
It’s just I have been working in this field for a long time and I don’t like doing any videos or podcasts or anything like that.
Rachel
What a thing to admit.
Dr. Wafaa Eltantawy
To be honest, until this moment, I don’t put myself across to such thing. But when you contacted I said, “Okay, this is an opportunity. Why don’t you take it?” I feel really uncomfortable about showing myself, you can put it this way. I can work in silence, I can do a lot of work. I feel happy to help people, but I don’t know why I feel this way.
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Rachel
No, that makes me feel super honoured to have you as a guest even more so then. Thank you so much for joining us. You’ve been really, really brilliant.
Dr. Wafaa Eltantawy
Thank you.
Rachel
That’s it this week from, Am I Making You Uncomfortable? You can subscribe and review this podcast. Please give us five stars, be kind. And if you know anyone who would benefit from reading the podcast who can’t listen to it, we’ve got a transcript of the whole chat on our website. So go check that out and direct them to it. I’m Rachel Moss, and you can find me at @Rachel Moss_.
Brogan
I’m Brogan Driscoll, and you can follow me at @Brogan_Driscoll. Thanks to our producer, Chrystal Genesis, our assistant producer, Rachel Porter, and our sound engineer Nag Kirinde.
Rachel


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-09--These Baby Names Were Popular In The 80s. Would You Choose Them Now?

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“I’ve got love for you, if you were born in the 80s,” sang Calvin Harris. Well, your little bundle of joy might not have been born then, but you can channel the era with one of these classic 80s names.
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It’s the decade that keeps coming back – whether that’s with neon pink laces, crop tops and high-waisted jeans, or bright makeup and bouffant perms.
We searched through the baby name archives from way back when, and picked out 10 names that were popular in the 1980s.
If you’re looking for more baby name inspiration, we’ve got lots of ideas at HuffPost UK Parents.
Megan
Megan comes from the Welsh, and has so many possibilities. Choose Meghan, Meagan, Meg, Meggie – or even Margaret.
Holly
A name with a classic motif is always useful, and Holly is both seasonal and timeless. It’s from the Old English word holen, meaning “the holly tree”.
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Jennifer
Meaning “fair one”, Jennifer comes from Cornwall and can be shortened to Jen, Jenny, or you could even try out Guinevere, which is the Welsh version.
Donna
This means “woman” in Italian – and if Donna Summer was anything to go by, she’ll be a strong and fiery one, at that.
Zoe
It comes from the Greek and means “life”. You could go for Zooey as a quirky alternative, like Zooey Deschanel.
Scott
Originally an English or Scottish surname, it’s impossible not to think of Scott from Neighbours, played by Jason Donovan. There’s none more 80s than that.
Timothy
Shortened to Tim, it comes from the Greek and means “honoured by God”.
Adam
Meaning “ground” or “earth”, this comes straight from the Bible and won’t go out of favour. Plus, Adam Ant. Need we say more?
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Christopher
Derived from the Greek, this originally meant “Christ bearer”. It’s often shortened to Chris.
Luke


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-09--I’m Immunocompromised. Marching For George Floyd Could Kill Me, But I’m Still Doing It

The author at a protest that took place in Hempstead, New York on June 5, 2020. Courtesy of Justin Quintana
Protesting in the streets might kill me. But if you ask America, we were never meant to live anyway.
In 2018, at the age of 23, I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia ― a particularly aggressive, rapidly metastasizing form of blood cancer with a high mortality rate. According to Cancer.net, “the 5-year survival rate for people 20 and older with AML is about 25%” and “the average age for diagnosis of AML is 68.” AML makes up only about 1% of all cancers, and, as Cancer.ca notes, without treatment, “survival [for AML patients] is usually measured in days to weeks.”
Clearly, I drew the strange, mangled short straw from a bag of similarly crappy short straws.
But somehow, I’d held on to my life by a thread for three months before anyone even knew what was wrong with me. I was misdiagnosed by three different doctors — tested for HIV, mononucleosis, syphilis, chlamydia and every other sexually transmitted disease that non-Black medical professionals thought a 23-year-old, assumed-to-be woman with brown skin might have picked up somewhere along the way.
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I heard every inappropriate, loaded question under the sun. Picture me, sick and traveling with my dog in an old van from my home state of New York to Florida, where my retired parents live. Picture me, driving through the night without rest, hoping that my parents would somehow be able to save me ― like young adults sometimes secretly do — and then dropping into a fever for three days once I’d arrived, just to sit in front of more doctors who didn’t look like me. How many sexual partners have you had? Picture me, terrified. Picture me, bouncing back to New York once this venture had proved fruitless, just to find more blank-faced doctors who had more important things to do than help me ― like go on vacation.
I answered every invasive question and underwent every test imaginable ― other than the simple CBC panel that would have diagnosed me within an hour.
My diagnosis finally came in the ER after those three long months, after I’d reached the point where I was so drained that I had to sit down while taking a shower and crawl up the stairs, where the lymph nodes in my neck were the size of golf balls. I was admitted the same night to start chemotherapy immediately, right after having a Mediport implanted in my chest. Then, over the course of a year, after four high-dose rounds of chemo and a stem cell transplant — a procedure where the stem cells in my body were swapped out for cells donated by my brother — I’ve had to build up my immune system from nonexistence. I’m just now barely coming up on year two of survival.
Self-portraits taken by the author in 2018, during treatment for leukemia (top), and in 2020, afterward (bottom). Courtesy of Jacqueline Dyre
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And, of course, as a 25-year-old cancer patient — a disabled, immunocompromised stem cell transplant recipient — I’ve self-quarantined for the past few months to protect myself from the international devastation of Covid-19.
But over the past week, I’ve been experiencing these bouts of paralysing indecision. Fear. Agitation. A constant, aching grief, building and swelling in me like a sickness.
George Floyd. A gentle giant like my father.
I’ve watched the news, feeling helpless and small. I’ve seen Black women thrown down in the streets by police officers. I’ve seen a young man of colour be arrested right after telling armed riot police that he loved them, that they were still his family no matter what happened. I saw him dragged away on his knees.
They’re risking their lives.
Two more Black men were dead inside of a week: David McAtee and James Scurlock. I felt the agitation of many of the white Long Islanders all around me, on online forums, seemingly prepared to kill in order to protect the status quo — the agitation of a hunt anticipated. In my mind, replaying over and over: Officer Derek Chauvin’s knee on George Floyd’s neck, and his calm, detached demeanour, like he’d trapped a wild deer underneath him instead of a human being.
This feeling, blowing up like a dark balloon, growing until it burst.
We’ve been risking our lives all along.
Until the pressure inside of me spilled out. Spilled over.
Here, in America, we’ve been risking our lives since birth.
I already lost two years of my relatively short life struggling to keep this Black body from destroying itself from the inside out. Despite that, I will march for George Floyd in the midst of a pandemic.
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What is it that could possibly make a cancer patient risk the life they’ve just fought so hard to save and keep?
The truth is, there are two pandemics plaguing America right now. There’s COVID-19, and then there’s the much older, much more established pandemic. It’s the justice system that was designed to ensure that Black Americans would never see justice done. It’s neutrality in the face of oppression. It’s valuing destroyed property over destroyed families. It’s microaggressions. It’s racial profiling. It’s Donald Trump. It’s police brutality. It’s civilian vigilantism against Black people for existing in spaces outside of the boxes that have been forced upon us. It’s the white folk who refused to wear masks in grocery stores last month and cried “Plandemic!” while communities of colour were decimated because of inequities in health care. It’s the white folk right now who are crying out “All lives matter!” and urging protesters to spare Target in the middle of a genocide.
Black lives clearly don’t matter within this system and this country. They never have.
A photo taken by the author on the ground during an 8-minute silence for George Floyd at a protest that took place in Hempstead, New York on June 5, 2020. Courtesy of Jacqueline Dyre
Protesting is multifaceted and multilayered. There are ways to contribute aside from taking to the streets, and they’re all necessary and valid. They include donating money, writing letters, cooking meals for protesters and practicing art activism. Any of these might arguably be better suited for immunocompromised people who stay home because of Covid-19. These contributions are no less valuable than physically showing up to protest. But, for me, walking the streets for justice as an immunocompromised person during a pandemic is a political statement in and of itself ― because ultimately, existing as a Black person in America is just as perilous.
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The fact is that while I may not be a stranger to quarantine or sickness or risk or death, neither is the rest of Black America. And being disabled doesn’t protect me, or any other Black person, in any meaningful way from police brutality. Consider Laquan McDonald, Dainell Simmons, Charleena Lyles, Philip Coleman, Quintonio LeGrier, Stephon Watts and Jeremy McDole, to name just a few.
George Floyd is important, and his death is a tragedy. But George Floyd is also just the latest victim amid a lengthy history of abuse, trauma and grief, and it’s our duty to ensure that this does not happen again.
So I’ve decided I will step out to fight with my community as a Black American once again. I will step out as a Black American who has protested police brutality in the streets of NYC and Long Island since I was a teenager, long before I was diagnosed with cancer. This time, it’ll be for George Floyd. This time, I’ll do it knowing very well that the consequences may be dire, despite protective gear and social distancing. I’ll step out again, even if this time ends up being the last time.
Because when all is said and done, being Black in America is kind of like being immunocompromised in the middle of a pandemic ― except the pandemic is systemic racism, and it’s been barreling through us, 400 years strong, with no end in sight. The pandemic is the system that hanged our ancestors from trees by their necks for entertainment, that burned us and sold pieces of us to spectators as souvenirs. It’s the system that, these days, allows tax-funded officers of the law to kneel on our necks or put us in chokeholds until we suffocate on camera for the world to see.
I’ve been met with questioning looks by those who know and love me when I mention leaving my home to protest, as if my decision means I don’t wholly value my life.
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The truth is, all of our protesters are putting their lives on the line. They’re fighting a system that would rather mace children, mow down those they were sworn to protect, and watch our country burn than yield power.
We were not born to die in the streets under someone’s knee. We love our lives, and that’s why so many of us, me included, would die fighting for the right to live on our own terms, with an upward gaze — hopeful and unchained.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-09--I Was A Child Carer. I Know How Tough It Can Be

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Millions of unpaid carers in every village, town and city are helping to get us through the coronavirus crisis.
Whether it is family members dropping off the weekly shop for elderly relatives who are isolating, mutual aid groups supporting vulnerable neighbours or volunteers organising food deliveries for families in need, this crisis has seen millions of people come together in a spirit of unity, compassion and solidarity.
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With so many of us taking on caring responsibilities and supporting relatives, neighbours or friends, carers week feels especially pertinent this year.
But before the coronavirus pandemic struck, there were already at least six and a half million unpaid carers in the UK. At the last census in 2011, one in eight adults were looking after a family member, partner or loved one who had a disability, mental or physical illness or who simply needed extra support as they grew older.
Given our ageing population and the hollowing out of social care services after a decade of austerity this figure has surely grown, with estimates putting the true figure at nine million people providing unpaid care.
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Many of these unpaid carers are young people, still technically children in the eyes of the law, who are balancing their education and the challenges of growing up alongside caring for a parent or family member.
When we think of a young person of school age we think of someone who should be cared for, not someone who is themself already responsible for caring for a parent with a disability or illness.
“It’s hard being a carer when you’re still only a child. You have to grow up quickly, worrying about problems that most children don’t have to worry about.”
I know how tough it can be for unpaid carers because of my own experience growing up. When I was still a child myself I was caring for my mother. From the age of 10, when I was still at primary school, I was caring for my mother as she suffered from severe depression. At times I had to bathe her, feed her and look after her as best as I could, but it was the emotional burden that was hardest to bear.
It’s hard being a carer when you’re still only a child. You have to grow up quickly, worrying about problems that most children don’t have to worry about. As well as caring for your parent you have to learn the hard way how to look after yourself and deal with all the challenges of growing up.
All carers make huge personal sacrifices to put the needs of their family member or loved one first, and this can have an impact on carers’ mental health and their own personal relationships.
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Carers are seven times more likely to be lonely compared to the general population. Across the board carers are more anxious, less happy and less fulfilled than the general population. They are giving so much to support family members and loved ones that their own wellbeing and mental health is suffering.
Caring for a disabled or ill child, parent or loved one can become financially debilitating, particularly as many carers are unable to balance working alongside their care responsibilities. Carer’s Allowance is £7 per week less than Job Seeker’s Allowance and many carers are struggling to make ends meet, never mind living an active social life.
Millions of people would be left to manage without any support at all if it wasn’t for these millions of unsung heroes. They surely deserve better than this.
This year, Carers Week provides an opportunity to reflect on the fact that there are millions of unpaid carers in this country who will need our support after we get through this crisis. It is also an opportunity to say thank you and commit ourselves to supporting our unpaid carers.
For too long their vital role in our society has gone under-appreciated and undervalued. Their work is done behind closed doors in their own homes or the homes of their loved ones. Many can’t clock off from their caring responsibilities, go home after a long day or enjoy a weekend off after a tough week.
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When we get through this crisis it will be because of the hard work and sacrifice of so many, putting the needs of others before their own. It must be in this spirit that we make sure we don’t leave our unpaid carers behind again.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-08--Cecil Rhodes: Dozens Of Councillors Demand Oxford University Remove Imperialist Statue

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Dozens of city councillors have joined renewed calls to remove the statue of imperialist Cecil Rhodes from a college at Oxford University, HuffPost UK can reveal.
The move comes as Black Lives Matter protests have been sweeping across the world calling for an end to anti-Black racism.
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The 26 Labour Party councillors are calling on the university to work with Oxford City Council, residents and trade unions to “make Oxford a truly anti-racist city” by immediately removing the state and associated plaque.
“Cecil Rhodes was a white supremacist who believed in brutal colonial rule and subjugation across Africa and the world,” an open letter by the local leaders read.
“A city’s public art and monuments should reflect its values. The presence of this statue on our High Street is incompatible with our city’s proud internationalist heritage and commitment to anti-racism.”
A statue of Cecil Rhodes is displayed on the front of on Oriel College. Carl Court via Getty Images
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This comes as the Rhodes Must Fall Oxford campaign group, alongside other student groups, penned an open letter to the university’s vice-chancellor arguing that the institution has only made “inconsequential inroads” into tackling the material legacy of imperialism, adding it “is not enough”.
Thousands of people have signed two new petitions calling for the statue of colonialist Rhodes at Oriel College to be taken down, it emerged on Monday.
“We as city councillors support the Rhodes Must Fall campaign in its demands for the removal of the Cecil Rhodes statue from Oxford’s High Street and endorse its wider campaign to decolonise Oxford University,” the councillors said.
This follows a Black Lives Matter demonstration in Bristol on Sunday which saw a statue of 17th century slave trader Edward Colston pulled down and thrown into Bristol Harbour by protestors.
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Demonstrators will protest in front of the Rhodes statue in Oxford on Tuesday as part of the Black Lives Matter movement.
They want iconography that “glorifies” Rhodes to be removed from the university.
It comes amid a wider “decolonise” movement sweeping universities across the world in recent years.
The university recently delayed publishing its admissions data on the diversity of its students in light of “world events”, HuffPost UK revealed on Thursday.
The educational institution has previously come under fire over the lack of diversity among its student body.
There is no place for statues that venerate vile anti-black racists in South Africa, the US, Bristol or Oxford.#BlackLivesMattters #RhodesMustFall #BlackLivesMatterUK
Join us this Tuesday @OrielOxford https://t.co/wYmYjV3dXn pic.twitter.com/cVn2uWYgZF — Rhodes Must Fall Ox (@RMF_Oxford) June 7, 2020
Letter co-signatory Shaista Aziz, councillor of Rose Hill and Iffley, told HuffPost UK: “I was born and raised in Oxford. The divide between the town and gown is along race, class and economic lines and it’s as entrenched as it was when I was a kid.
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“The statue of Rhodes represents the glorification of a white supremacist who built his riches on the backs of the brutal subjugation of Black people has no place in our city’s High Street. This statue should be in a museum with a plaque providing accurate information about who this man was and what he represents.
“Oriel College and the university have so far refused to listen to Rhodes Must Fall campaigners, students, academics and the people of our city who have demanded Rhodes must go.”
“Over the past week we have seen thousands of people from across our city joining Black Lives Matter protests against structural racism that impacts our lives. These protests have been organised and led by young Black people - and are not like protests we’ve seen before in Oxford,” she added.
The Rhodes Must Fall movement was established in 2015 at Cape Town University, and later spread to Oxford, where students demanded that the statue of Rhodes was removed from Oriel College.
In 2016, Oriel College decided to keep the statue despite widespread student demands to remove it. Campaigners from the Rhodes Must Fall group argued that the row illustrated Britain’s “imperial blind spot”.
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Rhodes Must Fall Oxford has compiled this video of Oxford students and alumni speaking out against antiblackness and police brutality#DefendBlackLife#BlackLivesMatter#RhodesMustFallpic.twitter.com/Y4SAUP1DFF
Donate here: https://t.co/mq5Kvy66GB — Rhodes Must Fall Ox (@RMF_Oxford) June 4, 2020
Femi Nylander, one of the original Rhodes Must Fall campaigners, said the university made “a series of promises” to Black students around the curriculum and access and representation following the movement in 2015.
But he said these never materialised and the statue was not removed.
The open letter to the university, signed by more than 6,600 individuals and organisations, outlines five steps that campaigners want the university to take to “make upholding anti-racist values a reality”.
Liberal Democrat education spokesperson Layla Moran, who is MP for Oxford West and Abingdon, said: “The statues of white supremacists and slave merchants should not still be standing in our cities. That’s why the statue of Cecil Rhodes must come down.
“I’m not endorsing vigilante action, but I would urge Oriel College in the strongest terms to think about what message this statue sends in 2020, and to remove it.”
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Rhodes was the founder of the southern African colony Rhodesia, modern day Zimbabwe, which was named after him in 1895. He was admired by Hitler and had a reputation for being racist.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-08--Edward Colston Wasn't Just Involved In Britain's Slave Trade. He Ran It

The statue of Edward Colston sunk quickly into water it had looked out on for 125 years.
“Goodbye, Mr Colston,” shouted one onlooker, over the cheers of the crowds that had gathered on both sides of the harbour. “Fuck you.”
Colston was the deputy governor of the Royal Africa Company (RAC) from 1680 to 1692, at that time Britain’s only official slaving company. He wasn’t just involved in the slave trade – he ran it.
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For many, the sight of his statue dropping to the bottom of the River Avon, at the exact spot his ships would have once left for West Africa, was a fitting end to more than a century of his presence in the city centre.
Throughout his 12 years as the deputy governor of the RAC he was responsible for the transportation of some 84,500 enslaved men, women and children. Almost 20,000 of them did not survive the journey, and were thrown overboard.
“The statue went up in 1895. Most people think it’s 1721, the year of Colston’s death,” said historian Dr Rob Ball, a Bristol-based research fellow at the University of Sussex who specialises in urban riots, slavery and Colston himself.
He is also a member of volunteer-led organisation Countering Colston, which opposes the public celebration of the slave trader.
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He continued: “Colston is a kind of cultist construction. He was reinvented in the Victorian period by a bunch of merchants and businessmen who decided they would make him their icon.
“For them, as a philanthropist, he fulfilled two things: ‘moral saint’ and ‘merchant prince’. He did give money away but the question is: where did that money come from?
“He was a leading figure in the organisation of the early stages of the slave trade.”
One protester kneels on the neck of Edward Colston, a symbolic gesture referencing the death of George Floyd. ASSOCIATED PRESS
Despite his legacy, Colston’s name is everywhere in Bristol.
The statue might have been pulled down, but you only need to look up to see the words “Colston Tower” bearing down at you from a high-rise office block. The wide street that sweeps through the centre of the city is called Colston Avenue, and The Colston Arms sits just a short walk away.
Progress towards wiping Colston’s name from some of the city’s most prominent buildings and landmarks has been made in recent years, slowly but determinedly.
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Colston Hall, the city’s most prominent concert hall, is undergoing refurbishment. When it reopens, in time for its 150th anniversary, it will do so with a new name.
In 2018, Colston’s Primary School held a three-month consultation and voted to change to Cotham Gardens Primary School, and Bristol’s oldest craft beer pub – known for a time as Colston Yard Pub – is now known as the Bristol Yard Pub. Bristol Cathedral and the Wills Memorial Building, part of the University of Bristol, have also both added prayers and plaques respectively, referencing the horror of Colston’s past.
The statue was perhaps the most tangible symbol of Colston’s legacy in Bristol – yet even with petition after petition and endless debate, nothing could be done about his statue.
For the entirety of its history, the statue has only had one plaque, which read: “Erected by citizens of Bristol as a memorial of one of the most virtuous and wise sons of their city.”
Rather than being funded democratically, as the plaque suggests, it was financed by a relatively small number of wealthy residents who idolised Colston as a philanthropic hero.
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Protesters rolling the statue of slaver Edward Colston towards Bristol's harbour. NurPhoto via Getty Images
Taught as such in schools across the city for decades, it is this image of Colston that still lingers for some who oppose the dismantling of the statue and other rebranding exercises.
Ball explained: “Slavery’s history was obscured for a long time, until the 1920s when a local reverend wrote a book which exposed Colston’s involvement in the slave trade.
“This knowledge has been around for about 100 years, and it’s taken 100 years to actually get somewhere, I think.
“It’s come much more to the surface now, and we can talk about the fact that it makes people feel uncomfortable and as though they’re not part of the city.
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“Lots of white residents hate it, but I was talking to a Black friend recently and she told me: ‘All it represents to me, as a Bristolian, is that I’m not part of this city.’
“Unfortunately, there was a real job done on the city in the Victorian period to really push him as the city’s father. They propagated loads of myths and drove a coordinated campaign to build him into the city’s history. They achieved that, and it survived.”
Colston's statue being hurled into the River Avon on Sunday. ASSOCIATED PRESS
In 2018, a campaign for a second plaque set out to correct the misleading portrayal of Colston’s life and address the “active role” he played in organising the slave trade. By March 2019 it was ready to be affixed to the statue, but was halted after a historian intervened on behalf of the Society of Merchant Venturers – many members of which were historically involved in the slave trade.
The Bristol Post reported at the time that disputes arose over “changing the word ‘trafficked’ to ‘transported’ and maintaining a lengthy dispute about the numbers and ages of the thousands of children who died on board Colston’s ships,” among other purported issues.
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In recent days, as Black Lives Matter protests began to spread across the world, the statue received renewed focus. More than 11,000 people signed the petition calling for it to be taken down, hoping this might be the moment it was finally dismantled.
Tearing down a statue is not an unprecedented act in Bristol. In 1812, a group of protesters toppled a statue of King George III, who they perceived to be an anti-democratic oppressor. In 1831, crowds systematically destroyed four prisons and a number of other significant buildings in the city during the Reform Riots.
“Bristol crowds party a lot, but at the same time they know what their targets are,” Ball said. “This [the toppling of Colston’s statue] was no different.
“It was highly symbolic that it was dragged a long way all the way to Pero’s Bridge.”
The bridge – named after Pero Jones who was brought to Bristol in 1785 – is the only place in Bristol named after an enslaved person.
Ball continued: “That, to me, was the crowd saying: ‘We recognise what this means. This has meaning, it isn’t mindless, irrational disorder or a feral youth.’
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“It was a very, very conscious decision to make it a symbolic act and to really say something which was: ‘We should not be continuing to celebrate, commemorate or memorialise slave traders.’”
There have long been calls for a museum dedicated to highlighting Bristol’s involvement in slavery, but no such space has ever been approved or opened.
Passers-by look at the pedestal of the toppled statue of Edward Colston on Monday. ASSOCIATED PRESS
The city’s uncomfortable relationship to its own past has repeatedly been the source of debates and discontent, and groups of residents have occasionally taken matters into their own hands to erect plaques highlighting Bristol’s history.
But there are hopes that the aftermath of the Colston statue’s destruction could lead to a more mainstream discussion about who the city really wants to commemorate.
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Ball explained: “It’s not erasing history, because this history is in the history books. Most of the memorials and statues in Bristol were put there by a Merchant elite – it’s not our landscape, it’s somebody else’s.
“It’s so important to study how and why icons were created historically. I sort of think it would serve a function in a museum, but also probably more was done yesterday to put slavery in people’s minds than any number of museums.
“You can always find out about Edward Colston, but if you wanted to find out about the people who actually fought slavery – whether they were enslaved Africans or Bristolians – you had to go to a museum, a library or an archive.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-09--Revealed: Children Beg To Go Back To School After Being Locked Down In Abusive Homes

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Youngsters are begging to return to school to escape the nightmare of domestic abuse as figures reveal calls to helplines have soared to an average of one an hour.
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The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC) say calls are up by nearly a third since the beginning of lockdown, from 140 to 185 a week.
In one heartbreaking call, a 10-year-old boy told Childline: “We should be allowed back to school now so my step-dad stops hitting mummy.”
One 16-year-old girl told the helpline: “I want my parents to break up. They are constantly arguing and they have both started drinking a lot more.
“They say some pretty horrible things to each other. It’s been like this for ages. Since the lockdown, my mum has been physically abusive and I’m really worried because they have both spent the night in jail before.
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“I have no school work to do and my mum is not working and everything feels like it’s getting worse.”
Some children are living with the nightmare of domestic abuse during lockdown Tom Hull
Another girl told Childline: “I really wish I was back living with my foster carers, but I’m stuck at my mum’s place ’cause of the lockdown.
“My step-dad makes mum drink every night and I hear them shouting and throwing stuff at each other – it makes me so uncomfortable.
“I don’t like being alone with my step-dad either – he tries to kiss me really hard on the neck and other private places. Last time, it made a bruise.
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“He said I’m not allowed to ‘snitch’ on him as everyone will be cross with me. I don’t know what to do.”
Some children are living with the nightmare of domestic abuse during lockdown Tom Hull
The NSPCC says the increased risks of domestic abuse during the Covid-19 lockdown highlights the devastating impact on young people.
Since lockdown began, 1,500 adults have told the NSPCC’s helpline about their fears for children trapped in their homes. Some 58% led to referrals or a referral update to the local authority.
May saw the highest number of contacts to the helpline about domestic abuse – 1,017 – since recording changed in 2016.
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It is feared the plight of some children may be going under the radar during the lockdown as they are not attending school and other organisations where people might have spotted signs that something was wrong.
Although schools have been open to vulnerable children throughout lockdown, the worry is that some youngsters will fall through the cracks; or their parents will choose not to send them to school, or that they may be facing living in an abusive household for the first time.
Tom, 50, an abuse survivor, told HuffPost UK how he was physically and mentally abused for 10 years by his parents from the age of six and how going to school had been his only respite from the constant fear.
He admitted he doesn’t know how he would have survived the current situation being locked down with his parents and he can empathise with the ordeal faced by children trapped in similar situations.
“I was withdrawn from society and locked up in my room,” he recalled. “I was allowed to come out to eat, but that was about it.
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“I was sometimes allowed out for short intervals but that would normally constitute some other form of abuse so in some ways. Being locked up was almost a relief as I knew I would not get physically hit.”
“Like a caged animal, I didn’t know any different – what it was like to be outside that cage. I didn’t know what real life was.” - Tom, 50, an abuse survivor
Tom told HuffPost UK how he was mentally tormented by his controlling mother and lived in constant fear of his violent father, but because his parents were church-goers and religious, to the outside world, they seemed much nicer people than they actually were.
“It started seriously when I was about six, but there were things that went on before that,” he said. “Like a caged animal, I didn’t know any different – what it was like to be outside that cage. I didn’t know what real life was.”
Tom remembers once dropping a ball so it landed on the garden and his father struck him with a spade several times to punish him. Being attacked with the spade formed a regular part of his punishments and he still bears the scars.
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If he did anything that his parents deemed as wrong, such as mentioning he had spoken to someone at school, he would be punished and denied food and was locked up and not allowed to go to the toilet, wash or bathe.
“It becomes your normal and the good bits of my life were when I was not being hit and the bad bits were when I was being physically hit. I just lived in constant fear.”
fiorigianluigi via Getty Images
Tom remembers fracturing his arm after his father threw him around and attacked him. When he went to school, he was unable to hold his hand up to answer a question and when he explained to his teacher that he had a sore arm, he was sent to the school nurse – who in turn sent a letter to his parents asking them to take him to the doctor. He then got in trouble all over again.
“I suffered years of physical and mental abuse,” Tom told HuffPost UK. “My father predominantly carried out the physical abuse while my mother was the instigator of the mental abuse and made out everything I did was a bad thing so my father would physically abuse me.
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“It was almost like a double act.”
Tom also faced the fear of a vicar, a friend of his parents, visiting the home as he touched him inappropriately for more than four years. “I could not speak out about it as my parents thought he was great and my parents would be in the same room and see.
“It was a case of trying not to squirm away from him as that would lead to me being punished later by my parents.”
Feeling he had no one to turn to for help and only realising when he was about 11 that his life was significantly different from that of other children, Tom began planning his way out from the age of 13 and finally escaped the family home three years later.
DiMaggio/Kalish via Getty Images
Since leaving his abusive childhood, Tom has forged a successful career and personal life and is now a loving and supportive father to a 17-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son.
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He told HuffPost UK he never talks about his past with anyone and hides it as he fears being judged.
He described himself as feeling like “a spoilt picture that you want to screw up and throw in the bin”.
Tom said he can relate to the children currently trapped in abusive situations in lockdown as he says the abuse is “intense and constant” and that “even when you are not experiencing physical abuse, you are living in constant fear of it”.
“I used to dread the school bell ringing signalling the end of the school day as it meant I had to go home.” - Tom, 50, an abuse survivor
“The only break you ever get from it is when you go out to do something – which for me was going to school.
“I used to dread the school bell ringing signalling the end of the school day as it meant I had to go home. And I would dread the school holidays.
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“For children in abusive households, being at school is often the only time they get to access other people and their teachers are like a safety net. To lose that must be horrendous.
“I always hoped someone would notice what was happening to me and teachers are people these children usually have regular contact with and can trust.”
Many people are worried about the risk of children being exposed to coronavirus by returning to school – but Tom says these fears need to be balanced against the harm some children may be being subjected to in their homes.
The NSPCC argues that the increased risk during the coronavirus crisis further highlights the need for the government to amend the law to recognise the daily nightmare of violence and coercive control for some children.
It wants young people who escape abuse to have access to specialist support to recover.
The charity says the Domestic Abuse Bill, which is at committee stage, fails to do this in its current form despite repeated calls from experts including the domestic abuse, children’s and victims’ commissioners – as well as the Home Affairs Select Committee.
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New analysis of 11 serious case reviews submitted to MPs set to scrutinise the Bill shows children have been seriously harmed and even killed because domestic abuse was not considered to be a child protection issue.
During lockdown, fears about the virus are being exploited to cut off kids’ contact with family and friends and to monitor their movements under the pretext of keeping them safe from the virus.
One mother who called the NSPCC helpline described how her former partner had taken her baby son away and she didn’t know what to do.
“He stormed into the house the other day saying he was going to take the baby for a few days – he said he wouldn’t get to see him until the summer because of the lockdown.
“When I refused, he pushed me against the wall and took off with the baby and house keys. I’ve not heard from him since.
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“I’m really worried about my baby’s safety. My ex can be a bit rough when he handles him and he sometimes tells him to ‘shut the f*** up.’ I told my social worker what’s happened and they’re trying to locate him so I can get my baby back.”
Even when children aren’t always the ones to suffer physical harm, they have told Childline they feel trapped. In some cases, it has led to depression, suicidal thoughts and self harm.
“The smallest things make him angry and he starts shouting. I’m terrified of him and I’ve had enough. I can’t take it any more – please help me.” - A 14-year-old boy calling Childline
One 14-year-old boy told Childline: “I really need your help. My dad has been physically abusing my mum. He has an anger problem and it’s getting out of hand.
“The smallest things make him angry and he starts shouting. I’m terrified of him and I’ve had enough. I can’t take it any more – please help me.”
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Emily Hilton, NSPCC senior policy and public affairs officer, told HuffPost UK that before coronavirus: “Many of these children would have been able to go places like school or out with their friends and get some respite.
“But [now] they are not able to physically meet people the same or have that safety net.
“Children are not really having much interaction with the wider world. Instead, they are constantly at home where abuse might take place.”
Action for Children told HuffPost UK it is deeply concerned about the record rise in contacts to the NSPCC’s helpline.
“Under normal circumstances, these children would be much more visible,” said head of policy and research Eleanor Briggs.
“But at the moment, a lot of children are not in school and are ‘hidden’ and this is a very dangerous time for children experiencing domestic abuse in their household.
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“This alarming new evidence shows that for thousands of children exposed to horrifying physical and psychological abuse under lockdown, the ‘stay at home’ message sadly did not mean ‘stay safe’.
Eleanor Briggs, Action for Children’s head of policy and research Action for Children
“The lockdown’s impact on our most vulnerable children trapped behind closed doors shows just how vital it is the government gets this Bill right and recognises them as innocent victims, not just witnesses.
“Throughout the crisis, our frontline workers have been carrying out doorstep visits at a safe distance to give eyes on families we know are at risk, but what these children desperately need in the long term are the right laws to keep them safe.”


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-09--Zoos, Safari Parks And Outdoor Cinemas In England To Reopen On June 15

Zoos, safari parks and outdoor cinemas can reopen from June 15, Boris Johnson will reveal as he plots the UK’s route out of the coronavirus lockdown.
The prime minister will update the nation on restrictions in England as he bids to restart the economy while also protecting against a second spike in Covid-19 cases.
Johnson is expected to lead the Downing Street press conference on Wednesday.
The PM will also announce the easing of restrictions on outdoor attractions where people remain in their cars, such as safari parks and drive-in cinemas, because the risk of spreading the disease is lower outside.
It comes after business secretary Alok Sharma announced non-essential retail could open on Monday, despite schools remaining shut to many pupils.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-09--Where Is Johnson’s ‘Levelling Up’ Plan For Poor Pupils Hit By School Closures?

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Playing catch-up
It was the news many parents, and pupils, had been dreading. Yes, education secretary Gavin Williamson confirmed on Tuesday he would not meet the prime minister’s ‘ambition’ to give all primary pupils at least a month’s classroom time before summer. Millions of children will have to wait until September at the earliest before they see their teachers in person again.
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As I’ve written before, education has been the poor relation of this pandemic. It was inevitable that health and the economy dominated, yet it took weeks for many to realise that the most disadvantaged pupils were suffering most, as the digital divide was exposed more nakedly than ever. But even once the plight of these children was raised, there was often no real sense of urgency to help them.
And urgency appeared to be lacking again on Tuesday, as Williamson said that laptops for deprived pupils wouldn’t arrive until the end of this month. The minister insisted that was always the timetable, without once admitting that would still mean three whole months of kids falling behind their richer peers because their parents can’t afford a computer or wifi.
Just as concerning was the hint from both No,10 and the DfE that schools may not even reopen fully in September. Williamson’s hands may be tied by the 15-child limit of ‘protective bubbles’ (which as it happens in primaries don’t require 2m social distancing), though he did hint that “as that [limit] is changed” more pupils could return.
As England’s children’s commissioner Anne Longfield pointed out, Legoland theme parks, department stores and even pubs look like they will all be opened before schools finally take in all their pupils. That feels like a surreal sense of priorities that ought to shame everyone involved.
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With the shift from protecting the NHS to repairing the economy, the soundbite of choice for any minister these days is to say it’s time to consider ‘saving not just lives but livelihoods’. But what about a third ‘L’ word, ‘life chances’? Apprenticeships, GCSEs, A-levels, university entrance, all are at stake for many children who haven’t got a room of their own to study in, let alone a computer in the house.
As education select committee chairman Rob Halfon highlighted, 700,000 children lack the proper tech for online teaching. But Williamson talked only of a scheme to provide 230,000 laptops (and only 100,000 have gone out so far). It beggars belief that a bigger, more rapid system was not put in place from the start of the school closures. Although some pupils have been sent extra books and worksheets, in many cases they’ve essentially had to teach themselves.
Just as worrying, the government won’t even commit to helping the parents of poorer pupils to feed them. Williamson was asked repeatedly on Tuesday if he would extend the free school meals vouchers to cover the summer, with families on incomes more squeezed than ever. He repeatedly either ignored the question or fell back onto verbiage about DWP providing £6.5bn of support.
The government, like schools themselves, often measures its policy success according to how many pupils on free school meals hit various targets or get places at prestigious universities. Those measures risk going backwards unless there’s a concerted effort to provide catch-up lessons. Instead of ‘levelling up’, Boris Johnson will have presided over deepening inequality, particularly in Red Wall seats he promised to help.
TOLGA AKMEN via Getty Images
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I should declare an interest here as I was myself on free school meals as a kid, in a house with few books but lots of love. It’s painful to think that children in 2020 are suffering the double penalty of not only facing hunger in the summer, but the added stigma of having fallen behind because they lack the computers of their classmates.
I’m told Williamson is acutely aware of the need to draft a rescue plan for these children. He said that “there is no magic, simple solution whereby we can put something in place for a short period” and said he was putting in place “an approach over a full year and more”. If that means a relentless focus on helping those held back by the pandemic, it’s welcome. But it was pretty alarming that he had no detail at all for what such a plan would entail.
Will there be portakabins built at speed this summer (like lots of mini Nightingale hospitals) in playgrounds and on school playing fields to create extra space? If the big issue is the need for more staff for smaller classes, will there be a huge expansion of trainee teachers, supplemented by an army of returning teachers (like returning doctors and nurses)? Why is there no taskforce of councils, teachers and ministers meeting round the clock to devise solutions?
Moreover, will there be a ‘catch-up premium’ to fund extra staff and lessons? When will extra lessons be provided? How can the school year next year be reshaped? From those at preschool to those taking exams next year, these questions over coming months could decide their entire futures. But at the moment there is a big gaping hole where policy and strategy, and empathy, should be.
Quote Of The Day
“We have never traditionally provided free school meals all the way through the summer”
Gavin Williamson on why he’s not (yet) budging on feeding poorer pupils.
Tuesday Cheat Sheet
Business secretary Alok Sharma confirmed that non-essential shops would open next Monday. He said that the 2m rule seen as crippling for the hospitality industry would be reviewed, stating ”when it is safe to do so we will see whether you can move to a shorter distance”.
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Having focused on “thuggery” on Sunday night, Boris Johnson changed his tone markedly on the UK Black Lives Matter protests to tell the Cabinet his message now was “‘I hear you and I understand’.
Health minister Helen Whately quickly backtracked after she suggested scientists were to blame for the deaths in care homes from coronavirus. Having been told by SkyNews’ Kay Burley ’You can’t stick this on the scientists”, she replied “Well, I can”.
MPs and peers held a minute’s silence in memory of George Floyd. Several Labour MPs ‘took the knee’ in and around parliament, with Keir Starmer and Angela Rayner staging the protest in their office.
Work began on the removal of a statue of slaver Robert Milligan outside the Museum of London Docklands, just hours after the Canal and River Trust agreed the move with Tower Hamlets council.
A new YouGov poll found that if there was a second wave of Covid-19, 33% would say the public are most to blame, compared to 26% who say the government would be. 33% say both would be equally responsible. 56% of Tory voters say the public would be to blame for a second coronavirus wave, compared to only 19% of Labour voters.
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Temperatures within the Arctic Circle have hit an astonishing 30C this afternoon.
What I’m Reading


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-09--Cecil Rhodes: Protesters Demand The Removal of Imperialist Statue In Oxford

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Hundreds of anti-racism protesters have gathered in Oxford to demand that a statue of imperialist Cecil Rhodes is torn down.
Campaigners say the statue – which stands outside Oxford University’s Oriel College – calls into question whether the university is “truly dedicated to equality and racial justice”.
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A petition to remove the statue has been signed more than 110,000 times.
While the ‘Rhodes Must Fall’ campaign to remove the monument was first launched in 2016, there have been renewed calls in recent weeks as the Black Lives Matter movement has gained support in the UK.
Some 26 city councillors have backed the campaign in its call to pull down the statue, HuffPost UK revealed on Monday.
In Oxford on Tuesday evening, several hundred people joined together outside Oriel College below the Rhodes statue chanting “take it down”.
Later, protesters held up their fists in silence for eight minutes and 46 seconds in memory of George Floyd, a Black man who died in police custody after a white officer knelt on his neck.
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The demonstration outside Oriel College in Oxford ended with people leaving their signs on the outside of the building.
Campaigner Jabu Nala-Hartley, 49, gave a speech to the crowd.
“I am deeply humbled by the rapid response of the Black Lives Matter movement. Its sheer capacity is a symbol of the frustration of Black people,” she said.
“We are feeling elevated that the whole world is on our side calling out racism! The whole world is reiterating the old message that we are being persecuted by the police, by the system and that our plight is not a new narrative.”
“This is an old reality,” she added.
Protesters shouting “take it down” in #Oxford right now. Many students, and lots of residents too. #Rhodes pic.twitter.com/Ozr0lv0NHK — Giulia Biasibetti (@bgiulia) June 9, 2020
“Our struggles are intertwined we are part of global capitalism unleashed by neoliberalism. Our Blackness is a long overdue struggle against the violence of the system.”
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Some demonstrators remained and were playing music in the street, and a police officer was seen “taking a knee” and briefly kneeling in the crowd.
This was met with cheers by the remaining protesters.
Ndjodi Ndeunyema, a law student and one of the organisers of the demonstration, said the protest was “to express solidarity with Black Lives Matter around the world, particularly in the US and the recent happenings there”.
He told the PA news agency the demonstration was a response to a global conversation about problematic symbolism, “particularly statues that celebrate people who are not worthy of celebration”.
Supporters of the Rhodes Must Fall group, wearing protective masks against the spread of coronavirus, participate in a protest calling for the removal of a statue of Cecil Rhodes, a Victorian imperialist in southern Africa who made a fortune from mines and endowed the university's Rhodes scholarships, beneath the statue which stands on the facade of Oriel College, in Oxford, England, Tuesday, June 9, 2020. More statues of imperialist figures could be removed from Britain's streets, following the toppling of a monument to slave trader Edward Colston in the city of Bristol, the mayor of London said Tuesday. (AP Photo/Matt Dunham) ASSOCIATED PRESS
Waqas Mirza, Oxford student and one of the hosts of the Uncomfortable Oxford walking tour, which highlights the “legacy of inequality“ in the city, spoke to demonstrators.
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He told the crowd: “We look up to be inspired, we look up for gods and you give us this murderer.”
Several demonstrators have referenced reports that Oriel College refused to remove the statue in 2016 due to fears that donors would distance themselves from the college.
Mirza added: “Maybe you should think more wisely about where your donations come from.”
He continued: “They say we don’t have enough time to take all the statues down, we have all the time in the world and this is just the beginning.”
Supporters of the Rhodes Must Fall group chant slogans during a protest calling for the removal of a statue of Cecil Rhodes, a Victorian imperialist in southern Africa who made a fortune from mines and endowed the university's Rhodes scholarships, beneath the statue which stands on the facade of Oriel College, in Oxford, England, Tuesday, June 9, 2020. More statues of imperialist figures could be removed from Britain's streets, following the toppling of a monument to slave trader Edward Colston in the city of Bristol, the mayor of London said Tuesday. (AP Photo/Matt Dunham) ASSOCIATED PRESS
On Sunday, a statue of slave trader Edward Colston was torn down by protesters in Bristol and thrown into the harbour.
In a statement, Oriel College said it “abhors racism and discrimination in all its forms”.
“As a college, we continue to debate and discuss the issues raised by the presence on our site of examples of contested heritage relating to Cecil Rhodes,” a spokesperson said.
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“Speaking out against injustice and discrimination is vital and we are committed to doing so.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-09--Black Lives Matter: Activists Commemorate George Floyd’s Life in London Gathering

ASSOCIATED PRESS
Mourners have commemorated the life of George Floyd in central London on the day of his funeral in the US.
Around 50 activists, some with “Black Lives Matter” signs, knelt at the foot of Nelson Mandela’s statue in Parliament Square, Westminster, on Tuesday.
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They observed a minute’s silence in Floyd’s memory at 5pm before marching to Downing Street chanting “I can’t breathe” and “the UK is not innocent”.
Floyd died aged 46 on May 25 after a white police officer in Minneapolis knelt on his neck for several minutes as he cried out “I can’t breathe”.
His death has sparked protests around the world, including in central London where thousands marched at the weekend.
A small number of people also attended the memorial event to oppose the movement and one man among them was arrested after an altercation with police officers.
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Protesters gather around the Nelson Mandela sculpture in Parliament Square during the Black Lives Matter protest rally in London, Sunday, June 7, 2020, in response to the recent killing of George Floyd by police officers in Minneapolis, USA, that has led to protests in many countries and across the US. (AP Photo/Alberto Pezzali) ASSOCIATED PRESS
Herman Williams, 35, led many of the chants and said he wanted to fight for justice for his father of the same name, who he said was a victim of the Windrush scandal.
Amid chants of “come out Boris”, he said: “There needs to be a public inquiry into my father’s death.
“I support Black Lives Matter, because this is Black life. I am Black life.
“I want the government to make new legislation. The government always say one thing, then don’t act on what they say – just like when they apologised and said they are going to compensate us (the Windrush generation).”
A bystander who identified himself as T Briggs urged the crowd to avoid violence ahead of the event.
He told the PA news agency: “It’s devastating, it’s disappointing the way police have been treating black people in the case of George Floyd in America.
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“But the Americans have been looting and being violent. We cannot be like that in the UK.
“If you want to carry out a protest, do it peacefully. That’s the only way your voice can be heard.”
A man addresses gathering demonstrators ahead of a raly in Parliament Square in London, Tuesday, June 9, 2020. The rally is to commemorate George Floyd whose private funeral takes place in the US on Tuesday. (AP Photo/Kirsty Wigglesworth) ASSOCIATED PRESS
Another protester – who gave her name only as Adassa, 64 – said she joined the march despite the coronavirus pandemic because racism is “worse than the virus”.
She said: “My son got stopped (by police) three weeks ago … they had him in a handcuff like he was a criminal, telling everybody: ‘that boy is going around robbing’.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-09--Nurse Traumatised After Being Trampled By Police Horse At Black Lives Matter Protest

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A woman who was trampled by a police horse at a Black Lives Matter protest in central London has told of her shock at her treatment by the Met.
The incident has now been referred to the police watchdog, the Independent Office for Police Conduct.
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Nineteen-year-old Jessie Tieti Mawutu told HuffPost UK she had been traumatised by the collision, which left her with bruises and swollen limbs.
On Saturday after a day of largely peaceful protests in the capital, tensions began to flare as crowds of anti-racism protesters gathered outside Downing Street.
Violence broke out as mounted police officers charged at the crowd in an attempt to disperse them and move people down Whitehall.
Videos circulating on social media showed one police officer being knocked from her horse after riding into a traffic light.
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The horse then continued to gallop away from the protest, knocking over several people – including Mawutu, a student nurse from London.
She later shared a video of the collision on Twitter.
PLEASE READ AND SHARE‼ pic.twitter.com/bPrDuNjlCh — YT: JESSIE T 🇨🇩🇦🇴 (@jessiebabyy_x) June 7, 2020
Mawutu had attended the protest with her younger sister and cousin during the day, and they decided to make their way home when it started raining.
“We saw around six or seven police vans drive past us with sirens on and started to see protesters running towards us,” she told HuffPost UK.
“The next thing I knew i was hit by something heavy that pushed me to the ground with full force and rolled me a few times on the ground.”
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She said she was “unconscious for a few seconds” before opening her eyes “to see my younger sister shaking me, crying over me” and other protesters asking if she was OK.
19-year-old Jessie Tieti Mawutu was left "screaming" in pain after being trampled by a police horse on Saturday. HuffPost UK
The incident left her “confused” and “screaming” in pain, she said, with “bruises and swollen limbs”.
And the next day she was left “shocked” and “traumatised” when she spoke to an officer from her local police station to file for a complaint.
The officer reportedly told her he could not process the complaint on the basis that the police had acting accordingly because the protest had turned violent.
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“He continued to say that me being trampled by a horse was ‘in fact’ an unfortunate accident that the police are not responsible for,” she said.
“unfortunately we can not process this complaint and claim as the ‘peaceful’ protest had caused the horses to react in a fight or flight situation . So it is unfortunate that you had been trampled on making the incident an accident and not a police situation . “... — YT: JESSIE T 🇨🇩🇦🇴 (@jessiebabyy_x) June 7, 2020
Despite explaining that the demonstration had been largely peaceful up to the point that she had left and until police charged at the crowd on horseback, she says, the officer told her action would have never been taken by the police had the protesters remained peaceful.
Instead, Mawutu said, he was convinced that she was more concerned about her phone – which had been damaged during the incident – and told her: “Just get your people to make a donation.”
“This comment had made me realise how ignorant and unserious he was being about the incident,” she said.
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″[I told him] why we are peacefully protesting, what we as a Black community are experiencing.
“He then said that this was not the police’s fault but the protesters’ fault, then said to me that I should have never been there in the first place.
“In the background I heard one of his colleagues laugh and he joined in and attempted to stop himself. I realised I was not being taken seriously and ended the call.”
Police officers in London charging at protestors with horses.
What could go wrong? 🤔 🤔 🤔 #BlackLivesMatters
pic.twitter.com/6lVQShOBBv — David Leavitt (@David_Leavitt) June 6, 2020
Mawutu said the exchange left her “angry and extremely frustrated”, and felt that the police were choosing to “completely disregard those who are asking for their help but turn their backs and proceed to change what they had truly heard and witnessed for their own reputation and safety”.
“I definitely see this as part of the larger problem with how police treat the BLM movement,” she said.
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“They refuse to take the responsibility of anything bad that has happened in their hands, but would happily switch it around and blame anything going wrong on those supporting the movement.”
Mawutu has started a petition demanding that the Met Police investigate her case and for the methods used by officers during Saturday’s protest be reviewed.
An officer was knocked from her horse after riding into a traffic light, the Metropolitan Police confirmed. DANIEL LEAL-OLIVAS via Getty Images
In a statement, the Metropolitan Police said: “We can confirm the Met is reviewing the circumstances surrounding a collision between a horse from Mounted Branch and a member of the public in Whitehall on Saturday.
“The rider fell from the horse whilst policing the ongoing demonstrations and sustained serious injuries. The horse, which was uninjured, made its way back to the nearby stables. The officer remains in hospital in a stable condition. The full circumstances of exactly what happened are currently being reviewed.
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“As of June 9 no official complaint has been received, but the Met’s Directorate of Professional Standards (DPS) will be directly contacting the member of public involved to ensure their account is acknowledged and processed in the correct manner.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-09--This Woman Is Making Face Masks To Keep Her Community Safe

This Woman Is Making Face Masks To Keep Her Community Safe
A woman from north London is making face masks to help keep her community safe. Isabella Guleroglu from Islington first responded to a request on a coronavirus support group on Facebook from a person in need of a face mask. She says it feels “really good” to know she is making a difference.


thehuffingtonpostuk--2020-06-09--Little Britain: Streaming Services Remove Show That Featured Comedians Wearing Blackface

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The BBC and BritBox have removed Little Britain from their streaming platforms.
The sketch comedy – starring Matt Lucas and David Walliams – had faced renewed criticism in recent weeks over its use of blackface.
It has now been removed from the BBC iPlayer and BritBox, a week after Netflix made the decision to take the same action.
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Matt Lucas and David Walliams, pictured after their reunion in 2019 Dave J Hogan via Getty Images
A BBC rep said: “There’s a lot of historical programming available on BBC iPlayer which we regularly review. Times have changed since Little Britain first aired, so it is not currently available on BBC iPlayer.”
A spokesperson for BritBox – a joint venture between the BBC and ITV – echoed the BBC’s statement, adding that it had also removed Matt and David’s other series, Come Fly With Me, from its service.
The airport-based sketch show has also been removed from Netflix.
In Little Britain, David used blackface to play Desiree DeVere, while Matt also used blackface to play Pastor Jesse King.
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Neither Matt nor David has commented publicly on the decision to take their shows down from streaming services. HuffPost UK has contacted both of their representatives for comment.
Little Britain ran for four series in the UK, also landing an American spin-off, Little Britain USA.
Last year, after a long break, Matt and David reunited for a new Little Britain special centred around Brexit on Radio 4, which led to much speculation about a possible new series.
The pair also revisited many of the show’s characters for a sketch as part of the BBC’s Big Night In broadcast back in April.