mercurynews--2020-05-09--Coronavirus: As California loosens up, Bay Area businesses feel tied down

On the first day local merchants across the state got to stretch their legs and start delivery and curbside sales , Bay Area businesses operating under a more restrictive health order voiced confusion and frustration over being held back at least through the end of May .
And at least a few jumped the gun .
Lee ’ s Florist in Berkeley , which had been accepting delivery orders through its website , briefly reopened for curbside pickup following the governor ’ s Thursday announcement of looser restrictions on retail businesses , just in time for the Mother ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that florists would be able to open for curbside pick today , ” owner Jared Lee said Friday .
“ So when that happened , we activated the pickup option on our website .
Because I didn ’ t think it was an unreasonable assumption to follow through on the words of the governor.
” When he learned later that Alameda County still prohibited curbside pickup , Lee deactivated the option — but not before customers already had placed four or five pickup orders .
Deb ’ s Flower Market in Pleasant Hill @ @ @ @ @ @ @ weeks of fielding online-only orders , owner Johnny Mesquita opened the door to walk-in traffic for the first time since the coronavirus pandemic began .
He said he ’ d heard it was allowed as long as customers kept 6 feet apart — but that is not the case under Contra Costa County ’ s order .
“ If that ’ s the guidelines for the Bay Area , we have to follow , ” Mesquita said when a reporter told him about the rules .
“ I wasn ’ t aware of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ close the door.
” And Tesla — which for days in March resisted the Bay Area ’ s initial shutdown order — on Friday internally announced plans to partly re-open its Fremont plant , citing a sentence in Alameda County health order guidelines to argue that it was allowed as an “ energy distribution ” manufacturer .
That sets up a potential showdown with health officials who flatly rejected the electric carmaker ’ s reasoning .
Tesla ’ s intentions do not appear to be allowed under the state ’ s orders , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it was probably a kick in the shins to see Newsom hold his daily press briefing Friday , touting the relaxing of retail restrictions in front of Twiggs , a Sacramento-area florist the governor said was able to put eight employees back to work , fulfilling flower orders for the Mother ’ s Day weekend .
“ This is just an example of what we hope to be seeing replicated all throughout the state of California , ” Newsom said .
Other counties already had jumped in front of the pack .
Yuba @ @ @ @ @ @ @ earlier this week as “ making a big mistake ” by opening up non-essential businesses in defiance of the statewide stay-at-home order .
Their reopened shopping mall remains the only one in the state .
Friday , Newsom offered none of his earlier fiery rhetoric at those challenging the state ’ s rules , instead acknowledging that counties will move at different paces along his four-phase reopening guidelines , based on the varying impact of COVID-19 on their jurisdictions .
“ The whole idea is that we will move through Phase 2 together @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , while complimenting the Bay Area for its careful approach .
“ I know there ’ s deep anxiety people are feeling and desire to re-open.
” Where Newsom and Bay Area health officials agree is wanting to see COVID-19 numbers trend down steadily before more significantly relaxing stay-at-home restrictions .
The governor announced Friday that 81 new deaths were reported the previous day and that virus-related hospitalizations and ICU stays dipped less than a percentage point .
The state has recorded more than 62,000 confirmed cases and was approaching 2,600 deaths from @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with mostly identical shelter-in-place orders for more than a month , Bay Area counties began to diverge this week .
San Francisco Mayor London Breed on Thursday said she expects to allow some retailers — such as bookstores , florists and music stores — to re-open for curbside pickup as soon as May 18 .
Marin County health officials said the same , and San Jose Mayor Sam Liccardo on Friday introduced an ordinance that would give restaurants and other businesses options to expand their operations outdoors .
Pete Mulvihill , co-owner of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Francisco , said he was heartened by the prospect of being able to offer pickup orders , as proposed by Breed .
At the same time , he remains wary of how to proceed and said he wants guidance from local health officials .
“ We ’ d rather wait 10 days or whatever it is , ” he said , “ and do it safely and do it right than risk the health of our staff or ourselves.
” Staff writers Rick Hurd and Dylan Bouscher contributed to this report .

On the first day local merchants across the state got to stretch their legs and start delivery and curbside sales, Bay Area businesses operating under a more restrictive health order voiced confusion and frustration over being held back at least through the end of May.
And at least a few jumped the gun.
Lee’s Florist in Berkeley, which had been accepting delivery orders through its website, briefly reopened for curbside pickup following the governor’s Thursday announcement of looser restrictions on retail businesses, just in time for the Mother’s Day rush.
“He specifically said that florists would be able to open for curbside pick today,” owner Jared Lee said Friday. “So when that happened, we activated the pickup option on our website. Because I didn’t think it was an unreasonable assumption to follow through on the words of the governor.”
When he learned later that Alameda County still prohibited curbside pickup, Lee deactivated the option — but not before customers already had placed four or five pickup orders.
Deb’s Flower Market in Pleasant Hill was bustling with customers Friday. After weeks of fielding online-only orders, owner Johnny Mesquita opened the door to walk-in traffic for the first time since the coronavirus pandemic began. He said he’d heard it was allowed as long as customers kept 6 feet apart — but that is not the case under Contra Costa County’s order.
PLEASANT HILL, CA - MAY 8: Employee Alex Amaya assembles a bouquet of roses while working at Deb's Flower Market in Pleasant Hill, Calif., on Friday, May 8, 2020. In California non-essential businesses that are low risk such as bookstores, florists, clothing and sporting goods stores are being given the green light for business under certain restrictions due to the coronavirus pandemic. (Jose Carlos Fajardo/Bay Area News Group)
PLEASANT HILL, CA - MAY 8: Employee Lila Del Rio assembles a bouquet of flowers while working at Deb's Flower Market in Pleasant Hill, Calif., on Friday, May 8, 2020. In California non-essential businesses that are low risk such as bookstores, florists, clothing and sporting goods stores are being given the green light for business under certain restrictions due to the coronavirus pandemic. (Jose Carlos Fajardo/Bay Area News Group)
PLEASANT HILL, CA - MAY 8: Employees Lila Del Rio, from left, and Alex Amaya assembles bouquets of flowers while working at Deb's Flower Market in Pleasant Hill, Calif., on Friday, May 8, 2020. In California non-essential businesses that are low risk such as bookstores, florists, clothing and sporting goods stores are being given the green light for business under certain restrictions due to the coronavirus pandemic. (Jose Carlos Fajardo/Bay Area News Group)
PLEASANT HILL, CA - MAY 8: Employee Rosa Chavez finishes assembling a vase of flowers while working at Deb's Flower Market in Pleasant Hill, Calif., on Friday, May 8, 2020. In California non-essential businesses that are low risk such as bookstores, florists, clothing and sporting goods stores are being given the green light for business under certain restrictions due to the coronavirus pandemic. (Jose Carlos Fajardo/Bay Area News Group)
PLEASANT HILL, CA - MAY 8: Assembled bouquet of flowers await delivery at Deb's Flower Market in Pleasant Hill, Calif., on Friday, May 8, 2020. In California non-essential businesses that are low risk such as bookstores, florists, clothing and sporting goods stores are being given the green light for business under certain restrictions due to the coronavirus pandemic. (Jose Carlos Fajardo/Bay Area News Group)
“If that’s the guidelines for the Bay Area, we have to follow,” Mesquita said when a reporter told him about the rules. “I wasn’t aware of it, but I am going to close the door.”
And Tesla — which for days in March resisted the Bay Area’s initial shutdown order — on Friday internally announced plans to partly re-open its Fremont plant, citing a sentence in Alameda County health order guidelines to argue that it was allowed as an “energy distribution” manufacturer.
That sets up a potential showdown with health officials who flatly rejected the electric carmaker’s reasoning. Tesla’s intentions do not appear to be allowed under the state’s orders, either.
For the two florists, it was probably a kick in the shins to see Newsom hold his daily press briefing Friday, touting the relaxing of retail restrictions in front of Twiggs, a Sacramento-area florist the governor said was able to put eight employees back to work, fulfilling flower orders for the Mother’s Day weekend.
“This is just an example of what we hope to be seeing replicated all throughout the state of California,” Newsom said.
Other counties already had jumped in front of the pack. Yuba and Sutter counties were lambasted by Newsom earlier this week as “making a big mistake” by opening up non-essential businesses in defiance of the statewide stay-at-home order. Their reopened shopping mall remains the only one in the state.
Friday, Newsom offered none of his earlier fiery rhetoric at those challenging the state’s rules, instead acknowledging that counties will move at different paces along his four-phase reopening guidelines, based on the varying impact of COVID-19 on their jurisdictions.
“The whole idea is that we will move through Phase 2 together as a state,” Newsom said, while complimenting the Bay Area for its careful approach. “I know there’s deep anxiety people are feeling and desire to re-open.”
Where Newsom and Bay Area health officials agree is wanting to see COVID-19 numbers trend down steadily before more significantly relaxing stay-at-home restrictions. The governor announced Friday that 81 new deaths were reported the previous day and that virus-related hospitalizations and ICU stays dipped less than a percentage point. The state has recorded more than 62,000 confirmed cases and was approaching 2,600 deaths from the virus.
After staying in lockstep with mostly identical shelter-in-place orders for more than a month, Bay Area counties began to diverge this week.
San Francisco Mayor London Breed on Thursday said she expects to allow some retailers — such as bookstores, florists and music stores — to re-open for curbside pickup as soon as May 18. Marin County health officials said the same, and San Jose Mayor Sam Liccardo on Friday introduced an ordinance that would give restaurants and other businesses options to expand their operations outdoors.
Pete Mulvihill, co-owner of the famed Green Apple Books in San Francisco, said he was heartened by the prospect of being able to offer pickup orders, as proposed by Breed.
At the same time, he remains wary of how to proceed and said he wants guidance from local health officials.
“We’d rather wait 10 days or whatever it is,” he said, “and do it safely and do it right than risk the health of our staff or ourselves.”
Staff writers Rick Hurd and Dylan Bouscher contributed to this report.


mercurynews--2020-05-08--CDC: ‘Notable’ drop in childhood vaccinations during pandemic

Childhood vaccinations have plunged since the Covid-19 pandemic began spreading through the United States , the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said Friday .
The CDC reported a “ notable decrease ” in the number of vaccines ordered through a federal program that immunizes half of all kids in the country .
Unvaccinated or under-vaccinated children will be at risk of other infectious diseases besides coronavirus , the CDC cautioned .
“ The decline began the week after the national emergency declaration ; similar declines in orders for other vaccines were also observed , ” the CDC ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
“ As social distancing requirements are relaxed , children who are not protected by vaccines will be more vulnerable to diseases such as measles.
” The Washington State Department of Health said providers in the state vaccine program had reported they gave out 30 % fewer vaccines in March of this year compared to previous years .
“ In April , preliminarily , we are seeing a 42 % decrease , ” the department said in a statement .
The American Academy of Pediatrics expressed alarm about the report .
“ Immunizing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , and should not be delayed , ” Dr. Sally Goza , president of the AAP , said in a statement .
“ I ’ m also concerned that children who have missed vaccines , have also missed other health care that occurs during those visits , including physical exams , developmental screenings , and other important care that should not be delayed , ” she said .
The group said pediatricians should be doing all they can to encourage parents to bring children in for vaccinations and other important visits , including @ @ @ @ @ @ @ reaching out to remind families to make appointments .
“ We want to reassure all our families that pediatricians have innovated ways to make visits even safer , including setting different hours or locations for well and sick children , rigorous sanitation and cleaning practices , and conducting portions of visits by telehealth.
” The AAP published new recommendations Friday for pediatricians to help keep kids safer during the pandemic .
“ Pediatricians should identify children who have missed well-child visits and/or recommended vaccinations and contact them to schedule in person appointments inclusive @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and adolescents , ” the AAP said .
“ Pediatricians should work with families to bring children up to date as quickly as possible.
” • Bay Area counties far from Gov .
Newsom ’ s bar for easing coronavirus lockdown • Trump : ‘ No rush ’ on more financial assistance Offices and clinics can schedule well-child visits at different times of the day from sick visits , the group suggested .
Or they can physically separate sick patients from families in for routine wellness checks .
The CDC recommends that children @ @ @ @ @ @ @ different pathogens .
Timing is important for many of the vaccines to create the strongest immunity .
The American Heart Association has expressed concern that Americans in general are afraid to visit clinics , including emergency clinics , for fear of catching the coronavirus or because they worry about overburdening the system .

By Maggie Fox | CNN
Childhood vaccinations have plunged since the Covid-19 pandemic began spreading through the United States, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said Friday.
The CDC reported a “notable decrease” in the number of vaccines ordered through a federal program that immunizes half of all kids in the country. Unvaccinated or under-vaccinated children will be at risk of other infectious diseases besides coronavirus, the CDC cautioned.
“The decline began the week after the national emergency declaration; similar declines in orders for other vaccines were also observed,” the CDC’s Dr. Jeanne Santoli and colleagues reported.
“As social distancing requirements are relaxed, children who are not protected by vaccines will be more vulnerable to diseases such as measles.”
The Washington State Department of Health said providers in the state vaccine program had reported they gave out 30% fewer vaccines in March of this year compared to previous years. “In April, preliminarily, we are seeing a 42% decrease,” the department said in a statement.
The American Academy of Pediatrics expressed alarm about the report.
[vemba-video id=”health/2020/04/25/vaccine-trial-covid-19-gupta-ac360-vpx.cnn”]
“Immunizing infants, children and adolescents is important, and should not be delayed,” Dr. Sally Goza, president of the AAP, said in a statement.
“I’m also concerned that children who have missed vaccines, have also missed other health care that occurs during those visits, including physical exams, developmental screenings, and other important care that should not be delayed,” she said.
The group said pediatricians should be doing all they can to encourage parents to bring children in for vaccinations and other important visits, including separating sick children from well children and reaching out to remind families to make appointments.
“We know parents are worried,” Goza added.
“We want to reassure all our families that pediatricians have innovated ways to make visits even safer, including setting different hours or locations for well and sick children, rigorous sanitation and cleaning practices, and conducting portions of visits by telehealth.”
The AAP published new recommendations Friday for pediatricians to help keep kids safer during the pandemic.
“Pediatricians should identify children who have missed well-child visits and/or recommended vaccinations and contact them to schedule in person appointments inclusive of newborns, infants, children, and adolescents,” the AAP said.
“Pediatricians should work with families to bring children up to date as quickly as possible.”
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The CDC recommends that children get 14 different vaccinations protecting against 19 different pathogens. Timing is important for many of the vaccines to create the strongest immunity.
The American Heart Association has expressed concern that Americans in general are afraid to visit clinics, including emergency clinics, for fear of catching the coronavirus or because they worry about overburdening the system.


mercurynews--2020-05-08--Pleasanton Farmers Market reopens Saturday — with new health precautions

After closing for the first several weeks of the COVID-19 crisis , the downtown Pleasanton Farmers Market will reopen Saturday @ @ @ @ @ with some new health and safety rules .
According to the Pacific Coast Farmers ’ @ @ @ @ @ will be reconfigured to allow for social distancing between booths .
Face coverings will be @ @ @ @ @ vendors , and no sampling is permitted .
Pets will not be allowed .
• @ @ @ @ @ to do at home on Mother ’ s Day weekend , • Squid are back @ @ @ @ @ coast A dedicated shopping hour for residents ages 60 and over will be added from @ @ @ @ @ The market then will be open to all from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. on @ @ @ @ @

After closing for the first several weeks of the COVID-19 crisis, the downtown Pleasanton Farmers Market will reopen Saturday, May 9 — but with some new health and safety rules.
According to the Pacific Coast Farmers’ Market Association, the market will be reconfigured to allow for social distancing between booths. Face coverings will be required for both customers and vendors, and no sampling is permitted. Pets will not be allowed.
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Books for Cooks: ‘Fire & Slice’ turns your kitchen into a pizza palace Restaurants, Food and Drink | Quick Fix: Five-spice powder is the star in this simple veggie stir-fry A dedicated shopping hour for residents ages 60 and over will be added from 9 to 10 a.m. The market then will be open to all from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. on Angela and Main streets.
Details: https://pcfma.org/


mercurynews--2020-05-08--Does your Bay Area county meet Gov. Newsom’s test for reopening? Here’s our analysis of where they s

Does your Bay Area county meet Gov. Newsom’s test for reopening? Here’s our analysis of where they stand

Most Bay Area counties are far from meeting Gov .
Gavin Newsom ’ s new criteria for reopening many businesses that were forced to close under California ’ s stay-home order to limit the spread of coronavirus , a Bay Area News Group analysis has found .
In fact , urban counties throughout the state would not meet the new standards , which come amid a growing debate over easing restrictions as the economic toll mounts .
“ I think they are somewhat unrealistic for a large urban county , ” Santa Clara County Supervisor Dave Cortese said .
“ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ someplace more rural they might be more realistic.
” Newsom ’ s updated California pandemic roadmap to reopening , unveiled this week , allows counties to open offices , dine-in restaurants , shopping malls and outdoor museums if they have no more than one COVID-19 case per 10,000 people and no deaths in the last 14 days .
Counties also must show they are conducting a minimum of 1.5 COVID-19 tests per 1,000 residents and have at least 15 “ contact tracers ” per 100,000 residents — staff who will track down and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with the newly infected .
Looking at 10 Bay Area counties — Alameda , Contra Costa , Marin , Napa , San Francisco , San Mateo , Santa Clara , Santa Cruz , Solano , Sonoma — none meets all of the criteria , and none has met any of them consistently .
In the last 14 days , only one of the Bay Area counties — Santa Cruz — had no more than one new case per 10,000 residents .
Only two counties had no new deaths in the last 14 days @ @ @ @ @ @ @ most are not close to meeting the standard for 1.5 tests per 1,000 residents .
Most counties still are building toward their contact tracing goals .
Alameda County has said it aims to have 300 and Santa Clara County 700 tracers .
Given their populations , those goals are within the state standards .
Though most Bay Area counties have more stringent lockdown orders in place through this month , the state criteria for lifting Newsom ’ s indefinite stay-home order raised questions among local officials .
In Santa Clara County , the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ where the outbreak has been most severe in the region , Supervisor Mike Wasserman was concerned that as counties ramp up to meet the testing criteria , that will make it harder to meet the standard of fewer than one case per 10,000 people over 14 days .
“ I didn ’ t think that condition is appropriate , ” Wasserman said .
“ The concern I had is , our positives will increase with our increase in testing .
We expect that .
If somebody did no testing , you ’ d @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Friday in response to questions that there may be some flexibility , with “ variations for some counties that can move a little faster ” with the larger counties moving “ together.
” “ We ’ re going to go into this not blindly , not in a political mindset , but very judiciously based on health and data , ” Newsom said .
A similar analysis by the Los Angeles Times found that statewide , only 24 of California ’ s 58 counties met the criteria for no deaths and no more @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the last 14 days .
With the exception of Santa Cruz County , all are sparsely populated counties north of the Bay Area , the Times found .
Officials in several counties also have pushed back against the statewide lockdown .
Yuba and Sutter counties allowed most businesses to reopen this week in defiance of the governor ’ s order , albeit with social-distancing restrictions , mandatory cleaning protocols and a face-covering rule .
Orange County pushed back this week on beach closures .
But Orange County Supervisor Don Wagner said the new @ @ @ @ @ @ @ across the political spectrum , who felt it moved the goal posts from demonstrating adequate hospital surge capacity to handling infection spikes .
“ This is not a legitimate metric , ” Wagner said .
“ It ’ s just not justified by the science .
The whole idea of flattening the curve was not about eliminating the disease … it was about managing cases so you didn ’ t overtax the health care system , and you ’ re in a better position for helping people survive.
” But in Santa Clara @ @ @ @ @ @ @ optimistic about the county easing restrictions soon .
“ I do not think the governor is unreasonably crippling the economy , ” Cortese said , predicting Newsom “ will bless our less stringent requirements in the future as we find ways in Santa Clara County to open up car dealers , hair dressers , shoe stores and other retail .
”

Most Bay Area counties are far from meeting Gov. Gavin Newsom’s new criteria for reopening many businesses that were forced to close under California’s stay-home order to limit the spread of coronavirus, a Bay Area News Group analysis has found.
In fact, urban counties throughout the state would not meet the new standards, which come amid a growing debate over easing restrictions as the economic toll mounts.
“I think they are somewhat unrealistic for a large urban county,” Santa Clara County Supervisor Dave Cortese said. “But perhaps in Colusa or Modoc or someplace more rural they might be more realistic.”
Newsom’s updated California pandemic roadmap to reopening, unveiled this week, allows counties to open offices, dine-in restaurants, shopping malls and outdoor museums if they have no more than one COVID-19 case per 10,000 people and no deaths in the last 14 days.
Counties also must show they are conducting a minimum of 1.5 COVID-19 tests per 1,000 residents and have at least 15 “contact tracers” per 100,000 residents — staff who will track down and notify those who had been in contact with the newly infected.
Looking at 10 Bay Area counties — Alameda, Contra Costa, Marin, Napa, San Francisco, San Mateo, Santa Clara, Santa Cruz, Solano, Sonoma — none meets all of the criteria, and none has met any of them consistently.
In the last 14 days, only one of the Bay Area counties — Santa Cruz — had no more than one new case per 10,000 residents.
Only two counties had no new deaths in the last 14 days — Santa Cruz and Napa — and most are not close to meeting the standard for 1.5 tests per 1,000 residents.
Most counties still are building toward their contact tracing goals. Alameda County has said it aims to have 300 and Santa Clara County 700 tracers. Given their populations, those goals are within the state standards.
Though most Bay Area counties have more stringent lockdown orders in place through this month, the state criteria for lifting Newsom’s indefinite stay-home order raised questions among local officials.
In Santa Clara County, the most populous in the Bay Area and where the outbreak has been most severe in the region, Supervisor Mike Wasserman was concerned that as counties ramp up to meet the testing criteria, that will make it harder to meet the standard of fewer than one case per 10,000 people over 14 days.
“I didn’t think that condition is appropriate,” Wasserman said. “The concern I had is, our positives will increase with our increase in testing. We expect that. If somebody did no testing, you’d theoretically have no positives.”
Newsom suggested Friday in response to questions that there may be some flexibility, with “variations for some counties that can move a little faster” with the larger counties moving “together.”
“We’re going to go into this not blindly, not in a political mindset, but very judiciously based on health and data,” Newsom said.
A similar analysis by the Los Angeles Times found that statewide, only 24 of California’s 58 counties met the criteria for no deaths and no more than one case per 10,000 people in the last 14 days. With the exception of Santa Cruz County, all are sparsely populated counties north of the Bay Area, the Times found.
Officials in several counties also have pushed back against the statewide lockdown. Yuba and Sutter counties allowed most businesses to reopen this week in defiance of the governor’s order, albeit with social-distancing restrictions, mandatory cleaning protocols and a face-covering rule. Orange County pushed back this week on beach closures.
But Orange County Supervisor Don Wagner said the new criteria angered supervisors throughout Southern California and across the political spectrum, who felt it moved the goal posts from demonstrating adequate hospital surge capacity to handling infection spikes.
“This is not a legitimate metric,” Wagner said. “It’s just not justified by the science. The whole idea of flattening the curve was not about eliminating the disease … it was about managing cases so you didn’t overtax the health care system, and you’re in a better position for helping people survive.”
But in Santa Clara County, supervisors Wasserman and Cortese were optimistic about the county easing restrictions soon.
“I do not think the governor is unreasonably crippling the economy,” Cortese said, predicting Newsom “will bless our less stringent requirements in the future as we find ways in Santa Clara County to open up car dealers, hair dressers, shoe stores and other retail.”
Staff Writer Robert Salonga contributed to this report.


mercurynews--2020-05-08--Trump: ‘No rush’ on more financial assistance

By Zeke Miller and Lisa Mascaro | Associated Press WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump said Friday he ’ s in “ no rush ” to negotiate another financial rescue bill , even as the government reported that more than 20 million Americans lost their jobs last month due to economic upheaval caused by the coronavirus .
The president ’ s low-key approach came as the Labor Department reported the highest unemployment rate since the Great Depression and as Democrats prepared to unveil what Senate Democratic leader Chuck Schumer calls a “ Rooseveltian-style ” aid package to shore up the economy @ @ @ @ @ @ @ congressional conservatives , meanwhile , who set aside long-held opposition to deficits to pass more than $ 2 trillion in relief so far , have expressed reservations about another massive spending package .
“ We ’ ve kind of paused as far as formal negotiations go , ” Larry Kudlow , the director of the National Economic Council told reporters Friday .
He said the administration wanted to let the last round of recovery funding kick in before committing to hundreds of billions or more in additional spending .
“ Let ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ round produces , give it a month or so to evaluate that.
” Kudlow added that talks were in a “ lull ” and that administration officials and legislators would “ regroup ” in the next several weeks .
Still , White House aides are drawing up a wish-list for a future spending bill , including a payroll tax cut , liability protection for businesses that reopen and potentially billions in infrastructure spending .
Kudlow added that the White House was also considering allowing businesses to immediately expense the costs of modifiying their @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to reopen .
The notion was brought up on a call with House members advising the White House on reopening plans Thursday evening and drew bipartisan support .
“ We ’ re in no rush , we ’ re in no rush , ” Trump told reporters Friday during an event with House Republicans .
He called on Democratic-controlled House to return to Washington , adding , “ We want to see what they have.
” The emerging Democratic bill is expected to include eye-popping sums , centered on nearly $ 1 trillion @ @ @ @ @ @ @ prevent mass layoffs as governments reel from the one-two punch of skyrocketing costs from the pandemic and dismal tax receipts in the shuttered economy .
The package being compiled by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi -– the fifth from Congress in a matter of weeks — draws on requests from governors for $ 500 billion , and from cities and counties for up to $ 300 billion to prevent widespread layoffs of police , fire and other frontline workers during the pandemic .
“ No one could look at today ’ s jobs report @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Depression , and say we should hit the pause button on further government action , ” Schumer said in a statement .
He compared Trump and his GOP allies in Congress to former President Herbert Hoover , who is often seen as failing to respond adequately to that crisis .
“ We need a big , bold approach now to support American workers and families , ” Schumer said .
But the package has had little input from Republicans and is finding scant support , even as some in the party support certain @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Pelosi acknowledged Trump hasn ’ t been a party to the negotiations , telling CSPAN Friday , “ I don ’ t have any idea what the president does.
” While Trump initially indicated he ’ d be amenable to helping state and local governments , he ’ s increasingly listening to conservative voices within his administration and on Capitol Hill arguing it would be an unwarranted “ bailout ” for ‘ fiscally irresponsible ’ jurisdictions .
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell also said it ’ s time to press “ pause ” @ @ @ @ @ @ @ unprecedented outlays so far .
In particular , McConnell has led resistance to the state “ bailouts , ” even as his home-state of Kentucky is among those staring down budget red ink .
Republicans argue the top priority in the next package should be approving liability protections to shield businesses that re-open from what he warns will be an “ epidemic ” of lawsuits .
Trump aides believe they have bought themselves some leverage on the state and local assistance matter with a rule change announced by the Treasury Department last week @ @ @ @ @ @ @ received in early relief packages to assist first responders .
“ States can use the money for policemen , firemen , first responders , without limits , ” Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin told Fox Sunday .
He added , “ But the president is very clear : We ’ re looking to help states , but we ’ re not bailing out states ’ finances.
” Despite Trump ’ s comments , White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany said to reporters regarding the new phase of relief : “ I think it ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ look at a phase 4 .
The president thinks so , too , so those negotiations will happen .
”

[vemba-video id=”business/2020/05/08/jobs-report-unemployment-rate-great-depression-coronavirus-covid-orig.cnn-business”]
By Zeke Miller and Lisa Mascaro | Associated Press
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump said Friday he’s in “no rush” to negotiate another financial rescue bill, even as the government reported that more than 20 million Americans lost their jobs last month due to economic upheaval caused by the coronavirus.
The president’s low-key approach came as the Labor Department reported the highest unemployment rate since the Great Depression and as Democrats prepared to unveil what Senate Democratic leader Chuck Schumer calls a “Rooseveltian-style” aid package to shore up the economy and address the health crisis.
Some congressional conservatives, meanwhile, who set aside long-held opposition to deficits to pass more than $2 trillion in relief so far, have expressed reservations about another massive spending package.
“We’ve kind of paused as far as formal negotiations go,” Larry Kudlow, the director of the National Economic Council told reporters Friday. He said the administration wanted to let the last round of recovery funding kick in before committing to hundreds of billions or more in additional spending. “Let’s have a look at what the latest round produces, give it a month or so to evaluate that.”
Kudlow added that talks were in a “lull” and that administration officials and legislators would “regroup” in the next several weeks.
Still, White House aides are drawing up a wish-list for a future spending bill, including a payroll tax cut, liability protection for businesses that reopen and potentially billions in infrastructure spending.
Kudlow added that the White House was also considering allowing businesses to immediately expense the costs of modifiying their facilities to accommodate public safety measures necessary to reopen. The notion was brought up on a call with House members advising the White House on reopening plans Thursday evening and drew bipartisan support.
“We’re in no rush, we’re in no rush,” Trump told reporters Friday during an event with House Republicans. He called on Democratic-controlled House to return to Washington, adding, “We want to see what they have.”
The emerging Democratic bill is expected to include eye-popping sums, centered on nearly $1 trillion that states and cities are seeking to prevent mass layoffs as governments reel from the one-two punch of skyrocketing costs from the pandemic and dismal tax receipts in the shuttered economy.
The package being compiled by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi -– the fifth from Congress in a matter of weeks — draws on requests from governors for $500 billion, and from cities and counties for up to $300 billion to prevent widespread layoffs of police, fire and other frontline workers during the pandemic.
“No one could look at today’s jobs report, the highest unemployment since the Great Depression, and say we should hit the pause button on further government action,” Schumer said in a statement.
He compared Trump and his GOP allies in Congress to former President Herbert Hoover, who is often seen as failing to respond adequately to that crisis. “We need a big, bold approach now to support American workers and families,” Schumer said.
But the package has had little input from Republicans and is finding scant support, even as some in the party support certain provisions, including the local aid.
Pelosi acknowledged Trump hasn’t been a party to the negotiations, telling CSPAN Friday, “I don’t have any idea what the president does.”
While Trump initially indicated he’d be amenable to helping state and local governments, he’s increasingly listening to conservative voices within his administration and on Capitol Hill arguing it would be an unwarranted “bailout” for ‘fiscally irresponsible’ jurisdictions.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell also said it’s time to press “pause” on more spending as Congress assesses the unprecedented outlays so far.
In particular, McConnell has led resistance to the state “bailouts,” even as his home-state of Kentucky is among those staring down budget red ink. Republicans argue the top priority in the next package should be approving liability protections to shield businesses that re-open from what he warns will be an “epidemic” of lawsuits.
Trump aides believe they have bought themselves some leverage on the state and local assistance matter with a rule change announced by the Treasury Department last week that allows states to use funding they received in early relief packages to assist first responders.
“States can use the money for policemen, firemen, first responders, without limits,” Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin told Fox Sunday.
He added, “But the president is very clear: We’re looking to help states, but we’re not bailing out states’ finances.”
Despite Trump’s comments, White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany said to reporters regarding the new phase of relief: “I think it’s important for us to move and look at a phase 4. The president thinks so, too, so those negotiations will happen.”


mercurynews--2020-05-08--Jimmy G speaks! 49ers quarterback, silent since shortly after Super Bowl, appears in video honoring

Jimmy G speaks! 49ers quarterback, silent since shortly after Super Bowl, appears in video honoring skilled-trade profession

The 49ers quarterback appeared in an 89-second YouTube video on Friday with his father , Tony , a retired electrician , to recognize national signing day for high school students entering trade professions .
“ Today , May 8th , we ’ ve been looking forward to helping Klein Tools celebrate the second annual SkillsUSA national signing day for the trades , ” Jimmy G said in the video .
“ Unfortunately , the current COVID-19 pandemic and resulting school closures across the country have forced cancelation of staged planned events .
“ We just want to send this message @ @ @ @ @ @ @ we are of all of them.
” Added Tony , “ Students , whether you have been studying to be an electrician , plumber , carpenter , welder , EMT , medical worker or one of many other trades … “ “ We want you to know , ” Jimmy G added , “ that we appreciate you .
We admire your decision and we wish you the very best in your career careers .
“ We look forward to being back with Klein Tools again next May , 2021 , for the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the trades.
” Jimmy G ’ s comments were his first in a public forum since the 49ers ’ locker-room exit a few days after their Super Bowl loss to Kansas City in February .
Since then , the sports world has gone dark because of coronavirus , Tom Brady was rumored to possibly take Jimmy G ’ s job in free agency before choosing Tampa Bay and beloved 49ers left tackle Joe Staley retired during last month ’ s draft .
Through it all , Jimmy G stayed underground .

Jimmy Garoppolo broke his silence.
Well, sort of.
The 49ers quarterback appeared in an 89-second YouTube video on Friday with his father, Tony, a retired electrician, to recognize national signing day for high school students entering trade professions.
“Today, May 8th, we’ve been looking forward to helping Klein Tools celebrate the second annual SkillsUSA national signing day for the trades,” Jimmy G said in the video. “Unfortunately, the current COVID-19 pandemic and resulting school closures across the country have forced cancelation of staged planned events.
“We just want to send this message to let them know how tremendously proud we are of all of them.”
Added Tony, “Students, whether you have been studying to be an electrician, plumber, carpenter, welder, EMT, medical worker or one of many other trades … “
“We want you to know,” Jimmy G added, “that we appreciate you. We admire your decision and we wish you the very best in your career careers.
“We look forward to being back with Klein Tools again next May, 2021, for the return of SkillsUSA national signing day for the trades.”
Jimmy G’s comments were his first in a public forum since the 49ers’ locker-room exit a few days after their Super Bowl loss to Kansas City in February.
Since then, the sports world has gone dark because of coronavirus, Tom Brady was rumored to possibly take Jimmy G’s job in free agency before choosing Tampa Bay and beloved 49ers left tackle Joe Staley retired during last month’s draft.
Through it all, Jimmy G stayed underground.
Until he resurfaced Friday.


mercurynews--2020-05-09--Letter: How would we feel facing virus in a refugee camp?

How would we feel facing virus in a refugee camp ?
Like many others , our family is celebrating several milestones during the next month of shelter in place .
Our entertainment options feel pretty limited and it ’ s hard not to feel cooped up and stir-crazy .
But a recent East Bay Times article on a Syrian refugee testing positive for coronavirus reminded me how trivial my complaints are .
Around the world , so many people are already living in fear of violence and starvation ; I can ’ t even imagine adding in this new worry @ @ @ @ @ @ @ we feel in a refugee camp ?
Every year U.S. international disaster assistance funding responds to an average of 65 worldwide disasters .
That now includes protecting people like refugees from contracting and spreading COVID-19 .
Cutting this funding would leave vulnerable people further at risk .
• Letter : During this pandemic , we have two very tough choices • Letter : Why thousands of desperate people went to Santa Cruz • Letter : Did drop in gas use spur Alameda County ’ s reusable bag ban ?
I call on my @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and Dianne Feinstein and Rep. Jerry McNerney , to continue supporting strong funding for international disaster assistance .
Submit your letter to the editor via this form Read more Letters to the Editor

How would we feel facing
virus in a refugee camp?
Re: “First coronavirus case reported in Lebanon refugee camp” (Eastbaytimes.com, April 22):
Like many others, our family is celebrating several milestones during the next month of shelter in place. Our entertainment options feel pretty limited and it’s hard not to feel cooped up and stir-crazy.
But a recent East Bay Times article on a Syrian refugee testing positive for coronavirus reminded me how trivial my complaints are.
Around the world, so many people are already living in fear of violence and starvation; I can’t even imagine adding in this new worry. How much more cooped up would we feel in a refugee camp?
Every year U.S. international disaster assistance funding responds to an average of 65 worldwide disasters. That now includes protecting people like refugees from contracting and spreading COVID-19. Cutting this funding would leave vulnerable people further at risk.
Related Articles Letters to the Editor | Letters: Escape Bay Area | CASA program | Feinstein replacement | Faulty comparison | Not conservatives
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Letters: Insulate wires | CDE was wrong | Functional Chromebooks | Trump’s ego | Healthy debate | A new path Letters to the Editor | Letters: Local solar | Titan resources | Activism helps I call on my congressional representatives, Sens. Kamala Harris and Dianne Feinstein and Rep. Jerry McNerney, to continue supporting strong funding for international disaster assistance.
Jennifer Wilson
Brentwood
Submit your letter to the editor via this form
Read more Letters to the Editor


mercurynews--2020-05-09--Letter: During this pandemic, we have two very tough choices

During this pandemic as a nation we have two very tough choices to choose from .
Choice one , we should follow the advice of the medical and scientific community , grit our teeth , bear down and struggle to get through this crisis with as little death and suffering as is possible .
Choice two , we should follow the advice of political pundits , special interest groups and partisan politicians who supported by their “ fake , ” feel-good science call for relaxing or eliminating some or all restrictions , immediately .
If we make the second choice @ @ @ @ @ @ @ crisis without decimating a large portion of the population of this nation .
It ’ s a hard choice ; keep restrictions going and try to save lives , or turn everything loose , keep counting the dead , and “ we ’ ll see what happens.
” • Letter : How would we feel facing virus in a refugee camp ?
• Letter : Why thousands of desperate people went to Santa Cruz • Letter : Did drop in gas use spur Alameda County ’ s reusable bag ban ?
Which group @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Submit your letter to the editor via this form Read more Letters to the Editor

Which group really backs
saving, preserving lives?
During this pandemic as a nation we have two very tough choices to choose from.
Choice one, we should follow the advice of the medical and scientific community, grit our teeth, bear down and struggle to get through this crisis with as little death and suffering as is possible.
Choice two, we should follow the advice of political pundits, special interest groups and partisan politicians who supported by their “fake,” feel-good science call for relaxing or eliminating some or all restrictions, immediately.
If we make the second choice, hopefully we can get through this crisis without decimating a large portion of the population of this nation.
It’s a hard choice; keep restrictions going and try to save lives, or turn everything loose, keep counting the dead, and “we’ll see what happens.”
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Monty Steadman
San Jose
Submit your letter to the editor via this form
Read more Letters to the Editor


Bridge: May 9, 2020

“ Simple Saturday ” columns are meant to improve basic technique and develop logical thinking .
Ever noticed that your keys are hardest to find when you need them most ?
Missing queens can be like that ; when finding one is vital , that ’ s when you always misguess .
One solution is to get the defense to lead a key suit for you .
At today ’ s 6NT , South takes the ace of hearts and counts two spades , three hearts , two diamonds and four clubs .
He needs a 3-3 heart break or @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
An unlucky declarer plays West for the queen of spades and East for the queen of diamonds , going down when both finesses lose and hearts fail to break .
A better declarer gets West ’ s help .
Declarer cashes four clubs , throwing a spade from dummy , then takes his heart tricks .
When West turns up with four , South leads dummy ’ s last heart , pitching a diamond .
West must return a diamond or spade , yielding a free finesse , and South succeeds without @ @ @ @ @ @ @ S K 6 3 H A Q 6 4 D A J 10 C K 9 8 .
You open 1NT , and your partner bids 4NT .
The opponents pass .
What do you say ?
ANSWER : Your partner ’ s 4NT is not the Blackwood ace-asking convention but simply a raise to try for slam , just as a raise to 2NT would invite game .
( If partner wanted to inquire about aces , he might have bid four clubs , the Gerber convention . )
Since you have @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , you have a clear bid of 6NT .

“Simple Saturday” columns are meant to improve basic technique and develop logical thinking.
Ever noticed that your keys are hardest to find when you need them most? Missing queens can be like that; when finding one is vital, that’s when you always misguess.
One solution is to get the defense to lead a key suit for you. At today’s 6NT, South takes the ace of hearts and counts two spades, three hearts, two diamonds and four clubs. He needs a 3-3 heart break or a winning guess in spades or diamonds.
FINESSES
An unlucky declarer plays West for the queen of spades and East for the queen of diamonds, going down when both finesses lose and hearts fail to break. A better declarer gets West’s help. Declarer cashes four clubs, throwing a spade from dummy, then takes his heart tricks.
When West turns up with four, South leads dummy’s last heart, pitching a diamond. West must return a diamond or spade, yielding a free finesse, and South succeeds without needing a guess.
DAILY QUESTION
You hold: S K 6 3 H A Q 6 4 D A J 10 C K 9 8. You open 1NT, and your partner bids 4NT. The opponents pass. What do you say?
ANSWER: Your partner’s 4NT is not the Blackwood ace-asking convention but simply a raise to try for slam, just as a raise to 2NT would invite game. (If partner wanted to inquire about aces, he might have bid four clubs, the Gerber convention.) Since you have 17 high-card points with mostly prime values, you have a clear bid of 6NT.
South dealer
N-S vulnerable
NORTH
S K 6 3
H A Q 6 4
D A J 10
C K 9 8
WEST
S 8 5 2
H J 10 9 8
D Q 8 7 2
C 7 3
EAST
S Q 9 7 4
H 7 3
D 9 6 3
C 10 5 4 2
SOUTH
S A J 10
H K 5 2
D K 5 4
C A Q J 6
South West North East
1 C Pass 1 H Pass
2 NT Pass 6 NT All Pass
Opening lead — H J
(C)2020 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.


mercurynews--2020-05-09--Word Game: May 9, 2020

Word Game: May 9, 2020

TODAY ’ S WORD — BULLETIN ( BULLETIN : BUL-eh-tin : A brief update or summary of current news .
@ @ @ @ @ or more words in BULLETIN ?
The list will be published Monday .
To purchase @ @ @ @ @ visit WordGameBooks.com .
Order it now for just $ 5 while supplies last !
1 @ @ @ @ @ four or more letters .
2 .
Words that acquire four letters by the addition @ @ @ @ @ such as “ bats ” or “ dies , ” are not allowed .
3 @ @ @ @ @ adding a “ d ” or an “ s ” may not be used .
@ @ @ @ @ bake ” is used , “ baked ” or “ bakes ” are not allowed @ @ @ @ @ and “ baking ” are admissible .
4 .
Proper nouns , slang words , @ @ @ @ @ words are not allowed .

TODAY’S WORD — BULLETIN (BULLETIN: BUL-eh-tin: A brief update or summary of current news.)
Average mark 30 words
Time limit 50 minutes
Can you find 43 or more words in BULLETIN? The list will be published Monday.
YESTERDAY’S WORD — PORTFOLIO pilot plot polio polo poof pool poor port profit
proof olio orlop rift riot roil roof rooftop root tiro toil tool topi trio trip troop flip flirt flit
floor flop foil folio fool foot fort lift loft loop loot
To purchase the Word Game book, visit WordGameBooks.com. Order it now for just $5 while supplies last!
RULES OF THE GAME:
1. Words must be of four or more letters.
2. Words that acquire four letters by the addition of “s,” such as “bats” or “dies,” are not allowed.
3. Additional words made by adding a “d” or an “s” may not be used. For example, if “bake” is used, “baked” or “bakes” are not allowed, but “bake” and “baking” are admissible.
4. Proper nouns, slang words, or vulgar or sexually explicit words are not allowed.
Contact Word Game creator Kathleen Saxe at kzsaxe@gmail.com.


mercurynews--2020-05-09--Horoscopes May 9, 2020: John Corbett and Billy Joel share advice.

Happy Birthday : Play to win , but play fair .
If you send mixed messages , it will hurt your chances to reach your goals this year .
Handle money matters with care .
Choose quality , not quantity , and you ’ ll come out ahead .
Listen to what others have to say , but don ’ t contribute something you know little about .
Joint ventures are not recommended .
Your numbers are 5 , 12 , 19 , 26 , 33 , 40 , 42 .
ARIES ( March 21-April 19 ) : Take a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ move will be valuable .
Being physically fit , channeling your energy into health , and feeling and looking your best are favored .
Don ’ t feel restricted when all that ’ s required are a few simple changes .
Romance is encouraged .
5 stars TAURUS ( April 20-May 20 ) : Impossible goals will lead to frustration .
Rethink your strategy , and consider taking the path of least resistance .
Don ’ t try to force unnecessary change .
Know when to size down , and make the most @ @ @ @ @ @ @ GEMINI ( May 21-June 20 ) : Stay on track ; if you deviate from your original plans , you will have to backtrack .
Don ’ t let an emotional situation turn into a falling out with someone you love .
Offer love and affection , not criticism and deception .
3 stars CANCER ( June 21-July 22 ) : Take on a new project , or try something that looks like fun .
A change someone makes will encourage you to make a couple of adjustments to the way you live @ @ @ @ @ @ @ them .
3 stars LEO ( July 23-Aug. 22 ) : Stop worrying about what someone else is doing , and focus on what you are doing .
Your happiness is your concern and your responsibility , not someone else ’ s .
Get involved in something that allows you to use the skills and talents you enjoy using most .
5 stars VIRGO ( Aug. 23-Sept. 22 ) : Get out and involved in pastimes that you enjoy .
Problems at home will escalate if you give in to someone who uses @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you want to put an end to bullying , express your feelings clearly .
2 stars LIBRA ( Sept. 23-Oct. 22 ) : A garage sale will help you get rid of some of the items you have that are taking up space .
Turn it into an entertaining event with your friends and neighbors .
Financial discipline will help you build equity and alleviate stress .
4 stars SCORPIO ( Oct. 23-Nov. 21 ) : Put everything in its place .
Do what ’ s best for you , not what someone @ @ @ @ @ @ @ will have a higher value than you first realized .
Shared information will lead to the change you need to reach a personal goal .
3 stars SAGITTARIUS ( Nov. 22-Dec. 21 ) : Don ’ t base an emotional situation on false information .
Address situations carefully , ask questions , look for discrepancies , and you ’ ll find out the truth .
Physical fitness and personal adjustments are favored .
Romance will improve a meaningful relationship and your life .
3 stars CAPRICORN ( Dec. 22-Jan. 19 ) : You @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to push your beliefs on others .
Don ’ t let the past interfere with the future .
Stay focused on what is working in your life , and nurture relationships that make a difference to you .
Home improvements are favored .
3 stars AQUARIUS ( Jan. 20-Feb. 18 ) : Complaining won ’ t help you get your way or encourage you to follow your dreams .
Distance yourself from people who are pressuring you to do things you don ’ t want to do .
Personal gains , improvements and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ featured .
4 stars PISCES ( Feb. 19-March 20 ) : Get in touch with old friends , revive discarded ideas and plans , and make alterations to the way you do things .
Pick up new skills and knowledge that will help you get ahead .
Take note of a valuable suggestion someone offers .
2 stars Birthday Baby : You are curious , intelligent and possessive .
You are generous and imaginative .

CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: Steve Yzerman, 55; John Corbett, 59; Billy Joel, 71; Candice Bergen, 74.
Happy Birthday: Play to win, but play fair. If you send mixed messages, it will hurt your chances to reach your goals this year. Handle money matters with care. Choose quality, not quantity, and you’ll come out ahead. Listen to what others have to say, but don’t contribute something you know little about. Joint ventures are not recommended. Your numbers are 5, 12, 19, 26, 33, 40, 42.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Take a break. Time spent contemplating your next move will be valuable. Being physically fit, channeling your energy into health, and feeling and looking your best are favored. Don’t feel restricted when all that’s required are a few simple changes. Romance is encouraged. 5 stars
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Impossible goals will lead to frustration. Rethink your strategy, and consider taking the path of least resistance. Don’t try to force unnecessary change. Know when to size down, and make the most of what you have. 3 stars
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Stay on track; if you deviate from your original plans, you will have to backtrack. Don’t let an emotional situation turn into a falling out with someone you love. Offer love and affection, not criticism and deception. 3 stars
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Take on a new project, or try something that looks like fun. A change someone makes will encourage you to make a couple of adjustments to the way you live. Embrace opportunities instead of running from them. 3 stars
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Stop worrying about what someone else is doing, and focus on what you are doing. Your happiness is your concern and your responsibility, not someone else’s. Get involved in something that allows you to use the skills and talents you enjoy using most. 5 stars
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Get out and involved in pastimes that you enjoy. Problems at home will escalate if you give in to someone who uses emotional blackmail to manipulate you. If you want to put an end to bullying, express your feelings clearly. 2 stars
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A garage sale will help you get rid of some of the items you have that are taking up space. Turn it into an entertaining event with your friends and neighbors. Financial discipline will help you build equity and alleviate stress. 4 stars
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Put everything in its place. Do what’s best for you, not what someone is demanding of you. A partnership will have a higher value than you first realized. Shared information will lead to the change you need to reach a personal goal. 3 stars
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Don’t base an emotional situation on false information. Address situations carefully, ask questions, look for discrepancies, and you’ll find out the truth. Physical fitness and personal adjustments are favored. Romance will improve a meaningful relationship and your life. 3 stars
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’ll face opposition if you try to push your beliefs on others. Don’t let the past interfere with the future. Stay focused on what is working in your life, and nurture relationships that make a difference to you. Home improvements are favored. 3 stars
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Complaining won’t help you get your way or encourage you to follow your dreams. Distance yourself from people who are pressuring you to do things you don’t want to do. Personal gains, improvements and growth will pay off. Romance is featured. 4 stars
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Get in touch with old friends, revive discarded ideas and plans, and make alterations to the way you do things. Pick up new skills and knowledge that will help you get ahead. Take note of a valuable suggestion someone offers. 2 stars
Birthday Baby: You are curious, intelligent and possessive. You are generous and imaginative.
Visit Eugenialast.com, or join Eugenia on Twitter/Facebook/LinkedIn.


mercurynews--2020-05-09--Ask Amy: ‘Oh, you’re no longer too busy to talk to me? Well, it’s too late.’

DEAR AMY : I suppose everyone reacts to the stress of this pandemic in different ways , but I am finding myself very annoyed and resentful — even hurt — by the way that “ friends ” and relatives are coming out of the woodwork to call , email or text , wanting to be in touch .
I even got a message yesterday from a woman I haven ’ t seen or heard from since high school ( 55 years ago ) wanting to “ catch up.
” These are the same people who could never be bothered to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in the past because their lives were “ so busy.
” Trust me , my life was as busy as theirs , but I could make time to reach out to people .
They now open a call or email : “ I ’ m so bored I thought I would call you.
” Or “ I have nothing better to do so I thought we could email back and forth.
” Really ?
Is that supposed to make me feel good or glad to hear from them ?
I would have been @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the years because I once cared for these people .
But I certainly don ’ t feel valued or important to them now if the only reason they are in touch is because they need something to do to relieve their boredom .
• Ask Amy : Must I ask permission to use this name for my baby ?
• Ask Amy : I know my sex life isn ’ t normal , but I can ’ t change • Ask Amy : Is it mean to keep my kid away from someone @ @ @ @ @ @ @ • Ask Amy : Why did she have to call me out about my mask ?
• Ask Amy : My neighbor shamed me for what I was doing in my own yard I don ’ t know how to respond .
Do I ignore them ?
Do I pretend that I ’ m happy to hear from them ?
Too Little , Too Late DEAR TOO LATE : You are feeling defensive about the way people from your long-off past are reaching out , but before you blow them off , you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ if you are perhaps shooting yourself in the foot .
You might be denying connections and reconnections that would be fulfilling for you .
However , if someone contacts you after more than 50 years and their opening line is , “ I ’ m so bored I thought I would call you ” ( and you definitely don ’ t want to talk to them ) , you could respond , “ Well , I ’ m not quite bored enough.
” DEAR AMY : I am 72 .
I ’ ve @ @ @ @ @ @ @ same woman .
Three years ago , I moved out of our beautiful home of 35 years because she became verbally abusive .
She has been a harsh , judgmental person , driven by worry , for most of our lives .
I concluded that I was enabling her behavior by trying too hard to make her happy .
We raised two beautiful , productive , professional “ kids ” in our partnership , who are now in their 40s .
We don ’ t have grandchildren .
Now I have fallen in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ quite the opposite of my harsh spouse .
She is warm , generous , positive and hopeful .
Her longtime husband is an alcoholic .
She has adult children and grandkids who she loves and who depend on her .
This woman and I have had a deeply serious emotional , physical , sexual and intellectual relationship for the last two years .
I will not close the door on this “ end of life ” renewal with this spiritually beautiful woman .
But I would also never intentionally hurt her extended family @ @ @ @ @ @ @ hurt my wife .
What do you think we should do ?
How will this end ?
DEAR TORN : My crystal ball is on the fritz , and so I don ’ t know how this will end , but I assume it will end the way most complicated entanglements end — with a variety of responses and reactions across a wide spectrum .
You have already left your wife , and perhaps you should complete the process by legally dissolving your very long marriage .
Will this hurt her ?
Probably @ @ @ @ @ @ @ hurt ?
Definitely .
Given what you describe about your affair partner and her tight family , she may choose to stay in her marriage .
Many huge life choices boil down to the tension inherent in the need to live in relationship to others — and yet not be controlled by them .
I would never want to judge or deny any two good people a beautiful late life love .
But to conduct your relationship with integrity , you will both have to make some tough choices , understanding that your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ DEAR AMY : Thank you for running the amusing letters from “ Mr .
and Mrs. Smith , ” who reported on their coronavirus quirks .
It really made me smile .
I ’ ve been learning to bake bread , which makes everybody else smile — because my “ fails ” are hilarious .
DEAR BAKED : The best part of baking fails is that you get to eat the evidence .
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy @ amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy , P.O .
Box @ @ @ @ @ @ @ You can also follow her on Twitter @ askingamy or Facebook .

DEAR AMY: I suppose everyone reacts to the stress of this pandemic in different ways, but I am finding myself very annoyed and resentful — even hurt — by the way that “friends” and relatives are coming out of the woodwork to call, email or text, wanting to be in touch.
I even got a message yesterday from a woman I haven’t seen or heard from since high school (55 years ago) wanting to “catch up.” These are the same people who could never be bothered to respond to cards, calls, emails in the past because their lives were “so busy.”
Trust me, my life was as busy as theirs, but I could make time to reach out to people. They now open a call or email: “I’m so bored I thought I would call you.” Or “I have nothing better to do so I thought we could email back and forth.” Really? Is that supposed to make me feel good or glad to hear from them?
I would have been very happy to stay in touch over the years because I once cared for these people. But I certainly don’t feel valued or important to them now if the only reason they are in touch is because they need something to do to relieve their boredom.
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Too Little, Too Late
DEAR TOO LATE: You are feeling defensive about the way people from your long-off past are reaching out, but before you blow them off, you should examine your own reaction to determine if you are perhaps shooting yourself in the foot.
You might be denying connections and reconnections that would be fulfilling for you.
However, if someone contacts you after more than 50 years and their opening line is, “I’m so bored I thought I would call you” (and you definitely don’t want to talk to them), you could respond, “Well, I’m not quite bored enough.”
DEAR AMY: I am 72. I’ve been married for 50 years to the same woman. Three years ago, I moved out of our beautiful home of 35 years because she became verbally abusive.
She has been a harsh, judgmental person, driven by worry, for most of our lives. I concluded that I was enabling her behavior by trying too hard to make her happy.
We raised two beautiful, productive, professional “kids” in our partnership, who are now in their 40s. We don’t have grandchildren.
Now I have fallen in love with a 71-year-old woman who is quite the opposite of my harsh spouse. She is warm, generous, positive and hopeful. Her longtime husband is an alcoholic. She has adult children and grandkids who she loves and who depend on her.
This woman and I have had a deeply serious emotional, physical, sexual and intellectual relationship for the last two years. I will not close the door on this “end of life” renewal with this spiritually beautiful woman. But I would also never intentionally hurt her extended family relationships, nor do I want to hurt my wife.
What do you think we should do? How will this end?
Torn
DEAR TORN: My crystal ball is on the fritz, and so I don’t know how this will end, but I assume it will end the way most complicated entanglements end — with a variety of responses and reactions across a wide spectrum.
You have already left your wife, and perhaps you should complete the process by legally dissolving your very long marriage. Will this hurt her? Probably. Will she blame you for her hurt? Definitely.
Given what you describe about your affair partner and her tight family, she may choose to stay in her marriage.
Many huge life choices boil down to the tension inherent in the need to live in relationship to others — and yet not be controlled by them.
I would never want to judge or deny any two good people a beautiful late life love. But to conduct your relationship with integrity, you will both have to make some tough choices, understanding that your choices will hurt some other people.
DEAR AMY: Thank you for running the amusing letters from “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” who reported on their coronavirus quirks.
It really made me smile. I’ve been learning to bake bread, which makes everybody else smile — because my “fails” are hilarious.
Half Baked
DEAR BAKED: The best part of baking fails is that you get to eat the evidence.
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.


mercurynews--2020-05-09--Letter: Why thousands of desperate people went to Santa Cruz

It ’ s easy to see why thousands of desperate people went to Ventura , Santa Cruz and Huntington Beach @ @ @ @ @ the remedy of nature were closed to them .
If all the beaches and state @ @ @ @ @ were opened , people would equally disperse as in the laws of chemistry .
OK @ @ @ @ @ but the point is this : If people are restricted for too long , they @ @ @ @ @ to get to the one open place .
• Letter : How would we feel @ @ @ @ @ camp ?
• Letter : During this pandemic , we have two very tough choices @ @ @ @ @ in gas use spur Alameda County ’ s reusable bag ban ?
The worst thing @ @ @ @ @ to do is make rules that can not be followed or enforced .
That is @ @ @ @ @ authority , even the reasonable and wise authority of a good governor .
Submit your @ @ @ @ @ this form Read more Letters to the Editor

People will seek nature, no
matter a leader’s wisdom
It’s easy to see why thousands of desperate people went to Ventura, Santa Cruz and Huntington Beach: Other places to seek the remedy of nature were closed to them.
If all the beaches and state, regional and city parks were opened, people would equally disperse as in the laws of chemistry. OK, maybe not equally, but the point is this: If people are restricted for too long, they will drive a hundred miles to get to the one open place.
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Letters: Insulate wires | CDE was wrong | Functional Chromebooks | Trump’s ego | Healthy debate | A new path Letters to the Editor | Letters: Local solar | Titan resources | Activism helps The worst thing for a leader or parent to do is make rules that cannot be followed or enforced. That is the surest way to lose authority, even the reasonable and wise authority of a good governor.
Kathe Jordan
Berkeley
Submit your letter to the editor via this form
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mercurynews--2020-05-09--Harriette Cole: I’m embarrassed that I mentioned my stimulus check

DEAR HARRIETTE : I haven ’ t gotten my stimulus check from the government for COVID-19 relief yet .
I started asking around to see if any of my friends had gotten theirs yet , only to get embarrassed .
Most of them blew me off , saying they make too much money to be eligible .
I have a good life and all , but I don ’ t make a lot of money .
That never seemed to be an issue within my friend group , but this simple question put me in an awkward situation .
Now @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
I feel embarrassed in a way that I never did before .
At the same time , I need that check .
How should I handle this ?
DEAR EMBARRASSED : While many Americans have received their stimulus payments , there are still millions of people who are waiting .
You can go to the IRS website to find out your status at irs.gov/coronavirus/get-my-payment .
Be aware that while it seems simple , the website is automated , so you can ’ t ask questions .
If you are unsuccessful in figuring @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your member of Congress to ask for assistance .
• Harriette Cole : How am I supposed to clean my cashmere sweaters during the shutdown ?
• Harriette Cole : I ’ m so jealous of his new body that I can ’ t stand it • Harriette Cole : My surveillance indicates my neighbor is giving illegal haircuts • Harriette Cole : I want house rules so we ’ ll still like each other when this is over • Harriette Cole : I love her , but she ’ s so mean @ @ @ @ @ @ @ go , chances are , you are more embarrassed than they were .
Your reality of needing that money made you hypersensitive to the differences between you and your friends .
It is likely that they haven ’ t given it a second thought .
Stop worrying about what they think about you , and focus instead on taking care of yourself .
If these people are true friends , they aren ’ t going anywhere just because they learned that you need some cash .
DEAR HARRIETTE : I was scheduled to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the COVID-19 virus broke out .
Every elective surgery was canceled , including mine .
I was going to have this surgery because where the hernia is feels uncomfortable , and the doctor recommended it .
This isn ’ t like a boob job or something — not to put anybody down for what they do , but this seemed essential for me .
In my town , they are now allowing elective surgeries .
I need to have this hernia repaired , but I am worried about going into a hospital with @ @ @ @ @ @ @ know when it ’ s safe to go ?
DEAR ELECTIVE SURGERY : Talk to your doctor .
Express all of your concerns , and find out what his or her recommendation is under the circumstances .
Also , do your own research .
Find out if the facility where you will have the procedure has seen cases of COVID-19 .
If so , are there still coronavirus patients ?
Know that elective surgery is the way that doctors make money , so they are likely eager to reopen their practices and offer @ @ @ @ @ @ @ safely handle .
With that in mind , you will need to weigh the risk versus the need .
Ask your doctor how long you can safely put off this surgery .
It could be that there is little risk if you delay it for a few months .
On the flip side , if you do it soon , your recovery time won ’ t be a problem for work since you have to stay home anyway .
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS , an initiative to help @ @ @ @ @ @ @ You can send questions to askharriette @ harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication , 1130 Walnut St. , Kansas City , MO 64106 .

DEAR HARRIETTE: I haven’t gotten my stimulus check from the government for COVID-19 relief yet.
I started asking around to see if any of my friends had gotten theirs yet, only to get embarrassed. Most of them blew me off, saying they make too much money to be eligible.
I have a good life and all, but I don’t make a lot of money. That never seemed to be an issue within my friend group, but this simple question put me in an awkward situation. Now my friends know that I am broke.
I feel embarrassed in a way that I never did before. At the same time, I need that check. How should I handle this?
Embarrassed
DEAR EMBARRASSED: While many Americans have received their stimulus payments, there are still millions of people who are waiting. You can go to the IRS website to find out your status at irs.gov/coronavirus/get-my-payment. Be aware that while it seems simple, the website is automated, so you can’t ask questions. If you are unsuccessful in figuring it out, you can write to your member of Congress to ask for assistance.
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Harriette Cole: I’m ashamed to tell people I forgave my childhood friend Advice | Harriette Cole: I’ve worked hard, and my poor siblings resent my success As far as your friends go, chances are, you are more embarrassed than they were. Your reality of needing that money made you hypersensitive to the differences between you and your friends. It is likely that they haven’t given it a second thought. Stop worrying about what they think about you, and focus instead on taking care of yourself.
If these people are true friends, they aren’t going anywhere just because they learned that you need some cash.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I was scheduled to have surgery to repair a hernia when the COVID-19 virus broke out. Every elective surgery was canceled, including mine. I was going to have this surgery because where the hernia is feels uncomfortable, and the doctor recommended it. This isn’t like a boob job or something — not to put anybody down for what they do, but this seemed essential for me.
In my town, they are now allowing elective surgeries. I need to have this hernia repaired, but I am worried about going into a hospital with COVID-19 possibly lurking. How do you know when it’s safe to go?
Elective Surgery
DEAR ELECTIVE SURGERY: Talk to your doctor. Express all of your concerns, and find out what his or her recommendation is under the circumstances. Also, do your own research. Find out if the facility where you will have the procedure has seen cases of COVID-19. If so, are there still coronavirus patients?
Know that elective surgery is the way that doctors make money, so they are likely eager to reopen their practices and offer as many elective surgeries as they can safely handle. With that in mind, you will need to weigh the risk versus the need. Ask your doctor how long you can safely put off this surgery. It could be that there is little risk if you delay it for a few months. On the flip side, if you do it soon, your recovery time won’t be a problem for work since you have to stay home anyway.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


mercurynews--2020-05-09--Miss Manners: I was sandwiched by rude strangers at the lunch counter

DEAR MISS MANNERS : I am a senior male who was recently having lunch at the counter of a family restaurant .
After my meal arrived , two younger men came in and sat on either side of me .
They obviously knew each other and began a conversation with me while I was in the middle trying to finish my lunch .
They then proceeded to pass a cellphone to each other , over my plate , to show pictures of a car wreck that one had been involved in .
Mind you , there were plenty of empty @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of them .
They could have easily moved and sat next to each other .
I felt this was extremely rude .
What should I have said ?
GENTLE READER : “ I was planning on eating alone today , and I seem to be in the way of your conversation .
I think I will move so that you can more easily talk to each other — and that I am not in the way of your elbows.
” • Miss Manners : She thinks I ’ m a woman , and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Miss Manners : It ’ s hard to explain about my girlfriend ’ s husband • Miss Manners : He says men are exempt from washing their hands • Miss Manners : No , you can ’ t tell the bride not to wear a white balloon • Miss Manners : I ’ m afraid our baby ’ s name will hurt my sister ’ s feelings DEAR MISS MANNERS : I was invited to two weddings that were indefinitely postponed due to the coronavirus outbreak .
Unfortunately , both couples are in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ difficult to reschedule the weddings .
I had not yet bought presents for either wedding , as one was still a ways out and the other I was only invited to one day before it was canceled .
I am trying to decide if I should send a present now , or wait until the wedding is rescheduled .
What is the proper etiquette for this unexpected situation ?
One couple has been married legally for over a year anyway , and the other is a stable couple , so I fully expect @ @ @ @ @ @ @ While you are not obligated to send wedding presents , a show of good faith that these weddings will take place eventually would certainly be welcome .
Presumably , even the issuers of the last-minute invitation are people who mean something to you , and it would mean something to them to be remembered during this difficult time .
That is not to say that Miss Manners does not appreciate your hesitance — not only in sending presents without assurance that a wedding will occur , but also with the fear that if @ @ @ @ @ @ @ could easily be forgotten later .
( Miss Manners wishes she were less cynical , but she has seen too many wedding couples who unabashedly go after their guests if they think a present is owed . )
However , she is also inclined to be generous — particularly now — and therefore proposes a compromise .
Why not send a small token that shows that you are thinking of these couples ?
Something that takes their minds off of their situation and allows them to focus instead on their current time together @ @ @ @ @ @ @ example , or a home or craft project .
If the unintended effect is that their competitive spirits , disparate interests or too much time together instead drive them apart , you may have no need to send a more substantial present later .
But of course , Miss Manners sincerely wishes that that will not be the case .
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website , www.missmanners.com ; to her email , dearmissmanners @ gmail.com ; or through postal mail to Miss Manners , Andrews McMeel Syndication , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ MO 64106 .

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a senior male who was recently having lunch at the counter of a family restaurant. After my meal arrived, two younger men came in and sat on either side of me. They obviously knew each other and began a conversation with me while I was in the middle trying to finish my lunch.
They then proceeded to pass a cellphone to each other, over my plate, to show pictures of a car wreck that one had been involved in.
Mind you, there were plenty of empty seats at the counter on either side of them. They could have easily moved and sat next to each other. I felt this was extremely rude. What should I have said?
GENTLE READER: “I was planning on eating alone today, and I seem to be in the way of your conversation. I think I will move so that you can more easily talk to each other — and that I am not in the way of your elbows.”
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Miss Manners: She wants to turn our music festival into a get-drunk weekend Advice | Miss Manners: My rule is no gift for a second wedding, no attendance for a third DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was invited to two weddings that were indefinitely postponed due to the coronavirus outbreak. Unfortunately, both couples are in careers where their work schedules make it difficult to reschedule the weddings.
I had not yet bought presents for either wedding, as one was still a ways out and the other I was only invited to one day before it was canceled. I am trying to decide if I should send a present now, or wait until the wedding is rescheduled.
What is the proper etiquette for this unexpected situation? One couple has been married legally for over a year anyway, and the other is a stable couple, so I fully expect both will reschedule.
GENTLE READER: While you are not obligated to send wedding presents, a show of good faith that these weddings will take place eventually would certainly be welcome.
Presumably, even the issuers of the last-minute invitation are people who mean something to you, and it would mean something to them to be remembered during this difficult time.
That is not to say that Miss Manners does not appreciate your hesitance — not only in sending presents without assurance that a wedding will occur, but also with the fear that if you send a present now, it could easily be forgotten later. (Miss Manners wishes she were less cynical, but she has seen too many wedding couples who unabashedly go after their guests if they think a present is owed.)
However, she is also inclined to be generous — particularly now — and therefore proposes a compromise. Why not send a small token that shows that you are thinking of these couples? Something that takes their minds off of their situation and allows them to focus instead on their current time together?
A unique board game, for example, or a home or craft project. If the unintended effect is that their competitive spirits, disparate interests or too much time together instead drive them apart, you may have no need to send a more substantial present later. But of course, Miss Manners sincerely wishes that that will not be the case.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


mercurynews--2020-05-09--Dear Abby: I was left gasping by her insensitive question about my daughter

DEAR ABBY : My daughter , “ June , ” unexpectedly died very recently .
A “ friend ” called today asking how I was doing ( quarantine , food , pet food , etc ) .
Then she asked me the most unnerving question : “ Do you have June with you ?
” I was floored .
So many thoughts came rushing at me at once .
June was disabled since birth .
She went to live in a group home nine years ago .
The friend knew I brought her home for weekends .
After I didn @ @ @ @ @ @ @ an annoyed tone , “ Well , did you go get her ashes or not ?
” ( As if having her ashes with me was a comfort ?
It isn ’ t ! )
Abby , I didn ’ t know what to say .
Her question slammed me against the wall .
I mumbled a response , said I had to go and hung up .
• Dear Abby : What he does to my unique meals is just wrong • Dear Abby : I ’ m a teenage girl , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that would enrage my father • Dear Abby : I feel bad about his wife , but he won ’ t let me end our affair • Dear Abby : He ’ s in love with our cat , and I feel like giving her away • Dear Abby : I was a zombie on drugs .
Now my family doesn ’ t like the new me .
I ’ m trying to make myself believe she meant nothing but concern , but I can ’ t seem to make myself believe that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ purposely cruel .
My warm feelings for her have changed to something ugly .
I ’ m still gasping .
Your thoughts ?
DEAR GRIEVING MOTHER : Let ’ s give the woman a perfect 10 on the insensitivity meter .
She was tactless , but she may not have meant to be unkind .
My thought is that you handled the situation as well as you could since her question left you understandably flat-footed .
However , I would have answered her differently .
I would have responded , “ Why do @ @ @ @ @ @ @ explain herself .
DEAR ABBY : My older sister bullied me from the time our parents divorced .
I was in elementary school , and she was in middle school .
We are now adults and retired .
Her form of bullying now is to exclude me .
It started with announcing to me that I was adopted and progressed to saying in front of me , “ Let ’ s have a family reunion ” and not inviting me .
When our father died , she was his executor .
She showed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ not allow me to see it .
Yes , I was in the will as an equal .
She told the attorney I was a granddaughter , which I caught and corrected .
When I told another sister my feelings were hurt , she accused me of being jealous and blocked me on social media .
It ’ s hard to disengage because I have no other family , but I keep busy in other social circles .
I was unable to have kids , and the one child I adopted is busy @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s just my husband and me now .
I tried for years to be nice and to contribute as much as possible .
I know I have done nothing wrong .
I have searched my soul to see why I deserve this treatment .
I don ’ t !
Should I just let go of my family since at least two of my three sisters seem to want to let go of me ?
DEAR LEFT OUT : Yes , you should .
Disengaging from the emotionally abusive sisters who treat you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Maintain a relationship with the one who is open to it .
I have advised more than once in this column that sometimes it ’ s necessary to create a family of one ’ s own if circumstances prevent a normal relationship with a person ’ s birth family .
You and your husband should continue branching out socially .
I predict that once you move in that direction , you will be far happier than you are today .
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren , also known as Jeanne @ @ @ @ @ @ @ mother , Pauline Phillips .
Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O .
Box 69440 , Los Angeles , CA 90069 .

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, “June,” unexpectedly died very recently. A “friend” called today asking how I was doing (quarantine, food, pet food, etc). Then she asked me the most unnerving question: “Do you have June with you?”
I was floored. So many thoughts came rushing at me at once. June was disabled since birth. She went to live in a group home nine years ago. The friend knew I brought her home for weekends.
After I didn’t respond, she asked in an annoyed tone, “Well, did you go get her ashes or not?” (As if having her ashes with me was a comfort? It isn’t!) Abby, I didn’t know what to say. Her question slammed me against the wall. I mumbled a response, said I had to go and hung up.
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GRIEVING MOTHER
DEAR GRIEVING MOTHER: Let’s give the woman a perfect 10 on the insensitivity meter. She was tactless, but she may not have meant to be unkind.
My thought is that you handled the situation as well as you could since her question left you understandably flat-footed. However, I would have answered her differently. I would have responded, “Why do you ask?” and let her explain herself.
DEAR ABBY: My older sister bullied me from the time our parents divorced. I was in elementary school, and she was in middle school. We are now adults and retired.
Her form of bullying now is to exclude me. It started with announcing to me that I was adopted and progressed to saying in front of me, “Let’s have a family reunion” and not inviting me.
When our father died, she was his executor. She showed the will to my sisters but would not allow me to see it. Yes, I was in the will as an equal. She told the attorney I was a granddaughter, which I caught and corrected.
When I told another sister my feelings were hurt, she accused me of being jealous and blocked me on social media. It’s hard to disengage because I have no other family, but I keep busy in other social circles. I was unable to have kids, and the one child I adopted is busy working in another state, so it’s just my husband and me now.
I tried for years to be nice and to contribute as much as possible. I know I have done nothing wrong. I have searched my soul to see why I deserve this treatment. I don’t! Should I just let go of my family since at least two of my three sisters seem to want to let go of me?
LEFT OUT IN FLORIDA
DEAR LEFT OUT: Yes, you should. Disengaging from the emotionally abusive sisters who treat you cruelly would be healthy for you. Maintain a relationship with the one who is open to it.
I have advised more than once in this column that sometimes it’s necessary to create a family of one’s own if circumstances prevent a normal relationship with a person’s birth family. You and your husband should continue branching out socially. I predict that once you move in that direction, you will be far happier than you are today.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.