mercurynews--2020-07-10--Coronavirus: Pac-12 cancels all non-conference games in football, other fall sports

Pac-12 football teams will keep to themselves this season , with school administrators announcing Friday all non-conference games have been canceled as they search for ways to save a season threatened by the coronavirus pandemic .
The new plan will involve only conference games in all Pac-12 fall sports .
Football , women ’ s volleyball and men ’ s and women ’ s soccer games will only be played within the conference , according to the conference ’ s release .
The move means Cal will lose its scheduled football season opener against UNLV at the Raiders ’ new @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 29 as well as a home game against Big 12 power TCU and one against Cal Poly .
Stanford , meanwhile , won ’ t play its annual showdown against Notre Dame , which was set for Oct. 10 in South Bend , Indiana .
The Cardinal ’ s season opener against William & Mary is also off .
The school ’ s powerhouse women ’ s volleyball and women ’ s soccer teams will also be skipping the interconference tournament circuit , which usually provides a chance to test themselves against other @ @ @ @ @ @ @ The health and safety of our student-athletes and all those connected to Pac-12 sports continues to be our number one priority , ” Pac-12 Commissioner Larry Scott said in a statement .
“ Our decisions have and will be guided by science and data , and based upon the trends and indicators over the past days , it has become clear that we need to provide ourselves with maximum flexibility to schedule , and to delay any movement to the next phase of return-to-play activities.
” The conference also said it would delay @ @ @ @ @ @ @ “ until a series of health and safety indicators ” showed improvement .
The statement did not identify specific metrics or thresholds that must be met .
Several Pac-12 schools have field hockey teams , which play in fall , but the conference does not organize that sport .
Athletes who opt not to play this season — if it happens — will have their scholarships honored by their schools , the announcement said .
The Pac-12 becomes the second Power Five conference to eliminate non-conference football matchups , joining the Big Ten @ @ @ @ @ @ @ decision Thursday .
The ACC is expected to follow suit soon , leaving the SEC and Big 12 with no option but to go to conference-only play .
A longtime Power Five football administrator told our Pac-12 Hotline earlier this week that eliminating non-conference games was necessary , telling us “ it ’ s the only way there can be a season.
” In theory , ditching non-conference games and the issues they come with — including travel — gives Pac-12 schools a better chance to control possible scheduling changes as well as @ @ @ @ @ @ @ California and Arizona reinstating restrictions after spiking COVID-19 cases .
But the plausibility of teams traveling within the conference to play each other is still up in the air .
The conference said it would release conference-only schedule details no later than July 31 for all affected sports .
• Our plan to save Pac-12 football : Keep 2020 in the family • As coronavirus surges , Pac-12 prepares for all football scenarios , including a spring season If all goes according to plan , the Pac-12 is still planning to crown its @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in Las Vegas at Allegiant Stadium .
It ’ s not immediately clear if the championship will be played as scheduled on Friday , Dec. 4 in Vegas .
Included in the Big Ten ’ s announcement Thursday was the sobering acknowledgement the coronavirus ’ impact could force the conference to call off all games .
Since football ’ s revenues at Power Five conferences fuel most aspects of schools ’ athletic budgets , delaying the season until the winter or spring for all conferences would naturally be explored before calling off the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Pac-12 reported it generated a record $ 530.4 million in revenue for Fiscal Year 2019 and distributed an average of $ 32.2 million to each school .
Speaking of finances , Cal ’ s contract to play UNLV , which includes a 2022 game played at Memorial Stadium , reportedly includes a $ 1 million payment for cancelation .
UNLV was also scheduled to play Arizona State .
But Cal , Arizona State and the Pac-12 should be off the hook for that fee since the deal includes a force majeure clause — @ @ @ @ @ @ @ event .

Pac-12 football teams will keep to themselves this season, with school administrators announcing Friday all non-conference games have been canceled as they search for ways to save a season threatened by the coronavirus pandemic.
The new plan will involve only conference games in all Pac-12 fall sports. Football, women’s volleyball and men’s and women’s soccer games will only be played within the conference, according to the conference’s release.
The move means Cal will lose its scheduled football season opener against UNLV at the Raiders’ new $2 billion Allegiant Stadium on Aug. 29 as well as a home game against Big 12 power TCU and one against Cal Poly.
Stanford, meanwhile, won’t play its annual showdown against Notre Dame, which was set for Oct. 10 in South Bend, Indiana. The Cardinal’s season opener against William & Mary is also off.
The school’s powerhouse women’s volleyball and women’s soccer teams will also be skipping the interconference tournament circuit, which usually provides a chance to test themselves against other top teams across the nation.
“The health and safety of our student-athletes and all those connected to Pac-12 sports continues to be our number one priority,” Pac-12 Commissioner Larry Scott said in a statement. “Our decisions have and will be guided by science and data, and based upon the trends and indicators over the past days, it has become clear that we need to provide ourselves with maximum flexibility to schedule, and to delay any movement to the next phase of return-to-play activities.”
The conference also said it would delay the start to any mandatory athletic activities “until a series of health and safety indicators” showed improvement. The statement did not identify specific metrics or thresholds that must be met. Several Pac-12 schools have field hockey teams, which play in fall, but the conference does not organize that sport.
Athletes who opt not to play this season — if it happens — will have their scholarships honored by their schools, the announcement said.
The Pac-12 becomes the second Power Five conference to eliminate non-conference football matchups, joining the Big Ten, which rocked college football with its decision Thursday. The ACC is expected to follow suit soon, leaving the SEC and Big 12 with no option but to go to conference-only play.
ICYMI: The Hotline's plan to save Pac-12 football in the fall:
– start late, end late
– conference only (more control)
– build in flex Saturdays in case makeup dates are neededhttps://t.co/XiNRASssb0 — Jon Wilner (@wilnerhotline) July 10, 2020
A longtime Power Five football administrator told our Pac-12 Hotline earlier this week that eliminating non-conference games was necessary, telling us “it’s the only way there can be a season.”
In theory, ditching non-conference games and the issues they come with — including travel — gives Pac-12 schools a better chance to control possible scheduling changes as well as their protocols, especially with both Southern California and Arizona reinstating restrictions after spiking COVID-19 cases. But the plausibility of teams traveling within the conference to play each other is still up in the air.
The conference said it would release conference-only schedule details no later than July 31 for all affected sports.
If all goes according to plan, the Pac-12 is still planning to crown its champion when its two division winners meet in Las Vegas at Allegiant Stadium. It’s not immediately clear if the championship will be played as scheduled on Friday, Dec. 4 in Vegas.
Included in the Big Ten’s announcement Thursday was the sobering acknowledgement the coronavirus’ impact could force the conference to call off all games. Since football’s revenues at Power Five conferences fuel most aspects of schools’ athletic budgets, delaying the season until the winter or spring for all conferences would naturally be explored before calling off the season entirely.
On Friday, the Pac-12 reported it generated a record $530.4 million in revenue for Fiscal Year 2019 and distributed an average of $32.2 million to each school.
Speaking of finances, Cal’s contract to play UNLV, which includes a 2022 game played at Memorial Stadium, reportedly includes a $1 million payment for cancelation. UNLV was also scheduled to play Arizona State. But Cal, Arizona State and the Pac-12 should be off the hook for that fee since the deal includes a force majeure clause — and the pandemic should be a qualifying event.


mercurynews--2020-07-10--San Leandro rejects demands to release names of police involved in fatal shooting

SAN LEANDRO — Despite demands at protests and City Council meetings for San Leandro to release the names of the two police officers involved in the fatal shooting of a Black man inside a Walmart earlier this year , the city has no plans to do so immediately , saying people have called and threatened to harm the two cops .
The family and friends of Steven Taylor , 33 , who was shot after the officers confronted him as he was brandishing a baseball bat inside the store , maintain he was having a mental health crisis , and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ The city has decided not to reveal the officers ’ names because multiple threats have been made against the officers in phone calls made to the department , San Leandro police Lt. Ted Henderson said Friday .
The threats include at least one left with a 911 dispatcher , in which the caller claimed to know who the officers are and their addresses , and threatened to physically harm them , Henderson said .
“ We want to make sure that these officers and their families are safe , ” he said .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ also have been left at the department , he said .
“ Currently , we have no way to prove if they are credible or not credible , ” Henderson said about the threats , which the department is investigating .
On Thursday , the state attorney general ’ s office announced that it would not investigate the shooting .
“ We are not aware of information indicating that an additional separate investigation and review by our office is required , or that a conflict of interest prevents the current investigation from proceeding @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in a letter to City Manager Jeff Kay .
“ For that reason , and at this time based upon the limited facts presently known to us , we must respectfully decline the request to conduct an additional investigation of the matter.
” Mayor Pauline Russo Cutter said she wished a state investigation would go forward .
“ I think it ’ s disappointing that they decided not to investigate , ” Cutter said .
“ I know that people in our community were counting on it.
” The Alameda County District Attorney @ @ @ @ @ @ @ still investigating the shooting of Taylor .
An internal investigation into the police actions , as well as another into whether Taylor was committing a crime inside Walmart , are also taking place , Henderson said .
Jenna King , a teacher and San Leandro resident , said San Leandro police and city officials are evading “ The Right To Know Act , ” which state lawmakers passed in 2018 to allow public access to police records related to when officers use weapons on people , commit sexual assault or lie in police @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
However , the law , written by state Sen. Nancy Skinner , D-Berkeley , also allows an agency not to disclose information if it has specific reasons to believe that disclosure would pose a significant danger to the officers .
“ I think police should be full and transparent with the community , ” King said in an interview .
The American Civil Liberties Union has formally requested the names of the San Leandro officers be released , she said .
On April 18 , police shot and killed Taylor inside the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ about 3:15 p.m. after getting a call that he was wielding a baseball bat and appeared threatening to customers .
Part of the encounter was caught on video by at least one shopper .
The footage shows Taylor carrying a bat as an officer approaches him , before the two men briefly stand inches apart , not far from the shopping cart storage bay near the store entrance .
The video shows one officer firing his gun once , striking Taylor .
Police also used a taser on Taylor .
The call for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ names comes against the backdrop of the May 25 death in Minneapolis of Geroge Floyd , who died after a police officer kneeled on his neck as he was being taken into custody .
Taylor ’ s death has prompted demonstrations and dozens of people to contact the City Council , demanding police reform .
Last month , the council pulled $ 1.7 million from the city ’ s police budget , though just how that money is to be allocated will be decided later with input from residents .
Selina McManus @ @ @ @ @ @ @ High School with Tayor , wants the names of the officers released .
“ I think the bigger question isn ’ t whether they ’ re being threatened , but why they felt threatened by Steven Taylor , whose only crime was being Black and having a bad day , ” McManus said about the officers .
“ Not taking action to release the names and discipline these cops is lazy and irresponsible.
” Addie Kitchen , Taylor ’ s grandmother , said in a release that the family wants the officers arrested @ @ @ @ @

SAN LEANDRO — Despite demands at protests and City Council meetings for San Leandro to release the names of the two police officers involved in the fatal shooting of a Black man inside a Walmart earlier this year, the city has no plans to do so immediately, saying people have called and threatened to harm the two cops.
The family and friends of Steven Taylor, 33, who was shot after the officers confronted him as he was brandishing a baseball bat inside the store, maintain he was having a mental health crisis, and they want the officers criminally prosecuted.
The city has decided not to reveal the officers’ names because multiple threats have been made against the officers in phone calls made to the department, San Leandro police Lt. Ted Henderson said Friday.
The threats include at least one left with a 911 dispatcher, in which the caller claimed to know who the officers are and their addresses, and threatened to physically harm them, Henderson said.
“We want to make sure that these officers and their families are safe,” he said.
Profanity-laced voicemails about police and the officers also have been left at the department, he said.
“Currently, we have no way to prove if they are credible or not credible,” Henderson said about the threats, which the department is investigating.
On Thursday, the state attorney general’s office announced that it would not investigate the shooting.
“We are not aware of information indicating that an additional separate investigation and review by our office is required, or that a conflict of interest prevents the current investigation from proceeding,” Attorney General Xavier Becerra said in a letter to City Manager Jeff Kay. “For that reason, and at this time based upon the limited facts presently known to us, we must respectfully decline the request to conduct an additional investigation of the matter.”
Mayor Pauline Russo Cutter said she wished a state investigation would go forward.
“I think it’s disappointing that they decided not to investigate,” Cutter said. “I know that people in our community were counting on it.”
The Alameda County District Attorney’s Office, however, is still investigating the shooting of Taylor. An internal investigation into the police actions, as well as another into whether Taylor was committing a crime inside Walmart, are also taking place, Henderson said.
Jenna King, a teacher and San Leandro resident, said San Leandro police and city officials are evading “The Right To Know Act,” which state lawmakers passed in 2018 to allow public access to police records related to when officers use weapons on people, commit sexual assault or lie in police reports, including the officers’ names.
However, the law, written by state Sen. Nancy Skinner, D-Berkeley, also allows an agency not to disclose information if it has specific reasons to believe that disclosure would pose a significant danger to the officers.
“I think police should be full and transparent with the community,” King said in an interview.
The American Civil Liberties Union has formally requested the names of the San Leandro officers be released, she said.
On April 18, police shot and killed Taylor inside the Walmart at 15555 Hesperian Blvd. at about 3:15 p.m. after getting a call that he was wielding a baseball bat and appeared threatening to customers.
Part of the encounter was caught on video by at least one shopper. The footage shows Taylor carrying a bat as an officer approaches him, before the two men briefly stand inches apart, not far from the shopping cart storage bay near the store entrance.
The video shows one officer firing his gun once, striking Taylor. Police also used a taser on Taylor.
The call for the release of the San Leandro officers’ names comes against the backdrop of the May 25 death in Minneapolis of Geroge Floyd, who died after a police officer kneeled on his neck as he was being taken into custody.
Taylor’s death has prompted demonstrations and dozens of people to contact the City Council, demanding police reform.
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Selina McManus, who said she attended San Leandro High School with Tayor, wants the names of the officers released.
“I think the bigger question isn’t whether they’re being threatened, but why they felt threatened by Steven Taylor, whose only crime was being Black and having a bad day,” McManus said about the officers. “Not taking action to release the names and discipline these cops is lazy and irresponsible.”
Addie Kitchen, Taylor’s grandmother, said in a release that the family wants the officers arrested and charged with murder.


mercurynews--2020-07-10--Trump threatens to pull tax exemption from ‘radical’ schools

In his push to get schools and colleges to reopen this fall , President Donald Trump is again taking aim at their finances , this time threatening their tax-exempt status .
Trump said on Twitter on Friday he was ordering the Treasury Department to re-examine the tax-exempt status of schools that he says provide “ radical indoctrination ” instead of education .
“ Too many Universities and School Systems are about Radical Left Indoctrination , not Education , ” he tweeted .
“ Therefore , I am telling the Treasury Department to re-examine their Tax-Exempt Status and/or Funding , which @ @ @ @ @ @ @ or Act Against Public Policy continues .
Our children must be Educated , not Indoctrinated !
” The Republican president did not explain what prompted the remark or which schools would be reviewed .
But the threat is just one more that Trump has issued against schools as he ratchets up pressure to get them to open this fall .
Twice this week Trump threatened to cut federal funding for schools that don ’ t reopen , including in an earlier tweet on Friday .
It ’ s unclear , however , on @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s tax-exempt status terminated .
It was also not clear what Trump meant by “ radical indoctrination ” or who would decide what type of activity that includes .
The White House and Treasury Department did not immediately comment on the president ’ s message .
Previous guidance from the Internal Revenue Service lays out six types of activities that can jeopardize a nonprofit organization ’ s tax-exempt status , including political activity , lobbying and straying from the organization ’ s stated purpose .
But ideology is not on the IRS @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , senior vice president of the American Council on Education , which represents university presidents .
Any review of a school ’ s status would have to follow previously established guidelines , he said .
“ It ’ s always deeply troubling to have the president single out schools , colleges or universities in a tweet , ” Hartle said .
“ Having said that , I don ’ t think anything will come of this quickly.
” In his latest threat , Trump revived his oft-repeated claim that universities are bastions of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ used the same argument last year when he issued an executive order telling colleges to ensure free speech on campuses or lose federal research funding .
His interest in colleges ’ finances appears to have been renewed as several schools sue the Trump administration over new restrictions on international students .
Harvard University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology sued to block the policy earlier this week , followed by Johns Hopkins University on Friday .
The University of California system has said it also plans to sue .
The universities are challenging @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Enforcement saying international students can not stay in the U.S. if they take all their classes online this fall .
The policy has been viewed as an attempt to force the nation ’ s universities to resume classroom instruction this fall .
Under the rules , international students must transfer schools or leave the country if their colleges plan to hold instruction entirely online .
Even if their schools offer a mix of online and in-person classes , foreign students would be forbidden from taking all their courses remotely .
The lawsuit from @ @ @ @ @ @ @ breaks from a promise ICE made in March to suspend limits around online education “ for the duration of the emergency.
” Until Friday , Trump had mostly focused his efforts on reopening elementary and secondary schools as millions of parents wait to find out if their children will be in school this fall .
He has insisted that they can open safely , and in a Friday tweet argued that virtual learning has been “ terrible ” compared with in-person instruction .
“ Not even close !
Schools must be open in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ why would the Federal Government give Funding ?
It won ’ t !
!
!
” he wrote .
Trump issued a similar warning on Twitter on Wednesday , saying other nations had successfully opened schools and that a fall reopening is “ important for the children and families .
May cut off funding if not open !
” Trump has not said what funding he would withhold or under what authority .
But White House spokeswoman Kayleigh McEnany has said the president wants to use future coronavirus relief funding as leverage .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ bump up money for education ” in the next relief package , but only for schools that reopen .
“ He is looking at potentially redirecting that to make sure it goes to the student , ” McEnany said at a Wednesday press briefing .
She added that the funding would be “ tied to the student and not to a district where schools are closed.
” But Trump ’ s control over school funding is limited .
The vast majority of funding for public elementary and secondary schools comes from state and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ more likely to rely on tuition or state aid than federal money .
His threats to withhold funding have been denounced by a growing array of education and health groups , including a medical association that the White House has repeatedly cited in its press to reopen schools .
In a joint statement with national education unions and a superintendents group , the American Academy of Pediatrics on Friday said decisions should be made by health experts and local leaders .
The groups argued that schools will need more money to reopen safely @ @ @ @ @ @ @ could ultimately harm students .
“ Public health agencies must make recommendations based on evidence , not politics , ” the groups wrote .
“ Withholding funding from schools that do not open in person full-time would be a misguided approach , putting already financially strapped schools in an impossible position that would threaten the health of students and teachers.
” The American Academy of Pediatrics has supported a fall reopening , saying in June guidelines that schools should strive to start the academic year with their students “ physically present in school.
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ Secretary Betsy DeVos and McEnany have repeatedly , and as recently as Wednesday , cited the group in defense of Trump ’ s approach .
But Friday ’ s statement acknowledged that it may be best for some schools to stay online .
School leaders , health experts , teachers and parents should be at the center of reopening decisions , the groups said , “ taking into account the spread of COVID-19 in their communities and the capacities of school districts to adapt safety protocols to make in-person learning safe and feasible.
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ for only a partial reopening , with a mix of in-person and online instruction .
New York City ’ s public school district , the nation ’ s largest , said students will be in classrooms two or three times a week and learn remotely between .
DeVos has opposed that kind of approach , saying it fails students and taxpayers .

By Collin Binkley | Associated Press
In his push to get schools and colleges to reopen this fall, President Donald Trump is again taking aim at their finances, this time threatening their tax-exempt status.
Trump said on Twitter on Friday he was ordering the Treasury Department to re-examine the tax-exempt status of schools that he says provide “radical indoctrination” instead of education.
“Too many Universities and School Systems are about Radical Left Indoctrination, not Education,” he tweeted. “Therefore, I am telling the Treasury Department to re-examine their Tax-Exempt Status and/or Funding, which will be taken away if this Propaganda or Act Against Public Policy continues. Our children must be Educated, not Indoctrinated!”
The Republican president did not explain what prompted the remark or which schools would be reviewed. But the threat is just one more that Trump has issued against schools as he ratchets up pressure to get them to open this fall. Twice this week Trump threatened to cut federal funding for schools that don’t reopen, including in an earlier tweet on Friday.
It’s unclear, however, on what grounds Trump could have a school’s tax-exempt status terminated. It was also not clear what Trump meant by “radical indoctrination” or who would decide what type of activity that includes. The White House and Treasury Department did not immediately comment on the president’s message.
Previous guidance from the Internal Revenue Service lays out six types of activities that can jeopardize a nonprofit organization’s tax-exempt status, including political activity, lobbying and straying from the organization’s stated purpose.
But ideology is not on the IRS’s list, said Terry Hartle, senior vice president of the American Council on Education, which represents university presidents. Any review of a school’s status would have to follow previously established guidelines, he said.
“It’s always deeply troubling to have the president single out schools, colleges or universities in a tweet,” Hartle said. “Having said that, I don’t think anything will come of this quickly.”
In his latest threat, Trump revived his oft-repeated claim that universities are bastions of liberalism that stifle conservative ideas. He used the same argument last year when he issued an executive order telling colleges to ensure free speech on campuses or lose federal research funding.
His interest in colleges’ finances appears to have been renewed as several schools sue the Trump administration over new restrictions on international students. Harvard University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology sued to block the policy earlier this week, followed by Johns Hopkins University on Friday. The University of California system has said it also plans to sue.
The universities are challenging new guidance issued by Immigration and Customs Enforcement saying international students cannot stay in the U.S. if they take all their classes online this fall. The policy has been viewed as an attempt to force the nation’s universities to resume classroom instruction this fall.
Under the rules, international students must transfer schools or leave the country if their colleges plan to hold instruction entirely online. Even if their schools offer a mix of online and in-person classes, foreign students would be forbidden from taking all their courses remotely.
The lawsuit from Harvard and MIT argue that the policy breaks from a promise ICE made in March to suspend limits around online education “for the duration of the emergency.”
Until Friday, Trump had mostly focused his efforts on reopening elementary and secondary schools as millions of parents wait to find out if their children will be in school this fall. He has insisted that they can open safely, and in a Friday tweet argued that virtual learning has been “terrible” compared with in-person instruction.
“Not even close! Schools must be open in the Fall. If not open, why would the Federal Government give Funding? It won’t!!!” he wrote. Trump issued a similar warning on Twitter on Wednesday, saying other nations had successfully opened schools and that a fall reopening is “important for the children and families. May cut off funding if not open!”
Trump has not said what funding he would withhold or under what authority. But White House spokeswoman Kayleigh McEnany has said the president wants to use future coronavirus relief funding as leverage. McEnany said Trump wants to “substantially bump up money for education” in the next relief package, but only for schools that reopen.
“He is looking at potentially redirecting that to make sure it goes to the student,” McEnany said at a Wednesday press briefing. She added that the funding would be “tied to the student and not to a district where schools are closed.”
But Trump’s control over school funding is limited. The vast majority of funding for public elementary and secondary schools comes from state and local sources, and nonprofit colleges are more likely to rely on tuition or state aid than federal money.
His threats to withhold funding have been denounced by a growing array of education and health groups, including a medical association that the White House has repeatedly cited in its press to reopen schools.
In a joint statement with national education unions and a superintendents group, the American Academy of Pediatrics on Friday said decisions should be made by health experts and local leaders. The groups argued that schools will need more money to reopen safely during the coronavirus pandemic and that cuts could ultimately harm students.
“Public health agencies must make recommendations based on evidence, not politics,” the groups wrote. “Withholding funding from schools that do not open in person full-time would be a misguided approach, putting already financially strapped schools in an impossible position that would threaten the health of students and teachers.”
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But Friday’s statement acknowledged that it may be best for some schools to stay online. School leaders, health experts, teachers and parents should be at the center of reopening decisions, the groups said, “taking into account the spread of COVID-19 in their communities and the capacities of school districts to adapt safety protocols to make in-person learning safe and feasible.”
Some districts have already announced plans for only a partial reopening, with a mix of in-person and online instruction. New York City’s public school district, the nation’s largest, said students will be in classrooms two or three times a week and learn remotely between. DeVos has opposed that kind of approach, saying it fails students and taxpayers.


mercurynews--2020-07-10--California Fish Grill opening another San Jose location

The California Fish Grill is in South Bay expansion mode — just a few months after opening the chain ’ s first location in San Jose .
A second restaurant for this city is scheduled to open this summer in North San Jose .
The site off Brokaw Road was formerly home to Panera Bread .
For years , California Fish Grill was a misnomer .
It was really the Southern California Fish Grill , a chain of fast-casual eateries based in Irvine .
But the company founded in 1998 set its sights on the NorCal market a couple of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Daly City ’ s Serramonte Center and then Walnut Creek ’ s Orchards center before the early 2020 opening in South San Jose .
The new location will make four total in the Bay Area ; there are two in the Sacramento region .
Sustainable seafood tops the menu here .
Wild-caught choices include ahi tuna , sockeye salmon , pollock , swordfish , ono and calamari .
And the Grill works with the Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch to ensure that the farm-raised seafood they serve — trout , catfish , shrimp @ @ @ @ @ @ @ from certified sustainable operations .
Flame-grilling is the cooking method of choice here , with a selection of seasoned olive oil , garlic butter sauce , chimichurri sauce or Cajun spices .
But the restaurant also offers battered and fried classics , salad bowls , rice bowls and seafood tacos .
• Oakland chef-restaurateur takes Souley Vegan to the next level • 7 great Bay Area things to do this weekend Sides include “ kaleslaw , ” fire-roasted street corn , grilled zucchini , sweet potato fries and balsamic-glazed Brussels sprouts .

The California Fish Grill is in South Bay expansion mode — just a few months after opening the chain’s first location in San Jose.
A second restaurant for this city is scheduled to open this summer in North San Jose. The site off Brokaw Road was formerly home to Panera Bread.
For years, California Fish Grill was a misnomer. It was really the Southern California Fish Grill, a chain of fast-casual eateries based in Irvine.
But the company founded in 1998 set its sights on the NorCal market a couple of years ago, opening restaurants first at Daly City’s Serramonte Center and then Walnut Creek’s Orchards center before the early 2020 opening in South San Jose. The new location will make four total in the Bay Area; there are two in the Sacramento region.
Sustainable seafood tops the menu here. Wild-caught choices include ahi tuna, sockeye salmon, pollock, swordfish, ono and calamari. And the Grill works with the Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch to ensure that the farm-raised seafood they serve — trout, catfish, shrimp, tilapia and sea bass — comes from certified sustainable operations.
Flame-grilling is the cooking method of choice here, with a selection of seasoned olive oil, garlic butter sauce, chimichurri sauce or Cajun spices. But the restaurant also offers battered and fried classics, salad bowls, rice bowls and seafood tacos.
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Montebello Market closes after 15 months in Los Gatos Restaurants, Food and Drink | Semi-permanent parklets under construction in downtown Campbell Sides include “kaleslaw,” fire-roasted street corn, grilled zucchini, sweet potato fries and balsamic-glazed Brussels sprouts.
Details: 1706 Oakland Road, San Jose; www.cafishgrill.com


mercurynews--2020-07-11--On this date, 2010: Pleasanton’s Paula Creamer wins U.S. Women’s Open

OAKMONT , Pa. — After her final putt dropped , Paula Creamer covered her face with her hands .
The tape around her surgically repaired thumb , the one that hurt so badly during the tournament and in the four months she didn ’ t play , was in plain sight .
Somehow , the worse she felt all week , the better she played .
Creamer , who grew up in Pleasanton , shot a 2-under 69 Sunday to win the 65th U.S. Women ’ s Open at Oakmont Country Club , her first major tournament victory .
In @ @ @ @ @ @ @ days , lengthen others and test the resiliency of the competitors , Creamer was the only golfer to finish under par .
She totaled a 3-under 281 .
Creamer ’ s lead never dipped below two shots in the final round .
Na Yeon Choi of South Korea shot a 5-under 66 to tie Suzann Pettersen of Norway for second place at 1-over 285 .
“ That ’ s kind of a big relief off of my shoulders , but I knew that the time would come , ” Creamer , 23 , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be patient.
” So did all the players .
Thunderstorms forced the second round to be suspended Friday , and play resumed Saturday before the third round was played Saturday afternoon .
Creamer played 28 holes Saturday and finished the final five holes of her third round Sunday morning .
That ’ s a lot of golf for a bad thumb to handle .
Creamer withdrew from her first tournament this season , the Honda LPGA Thailand in February , because of a thumb injury that required surgery in March and three months @ @ @ @ @ @ @ shots before each round to lessen the pounding , Creamer found the best possible way to limit the discomfort : take as few strokes as possible .
“ I believed I could do this , ” she said .
“ I believed I could do this when I had a cast on my hand .
That ’ s what I just kept thinking about was Oakmont , Oakmont , Oakmont.
” Creamer kept the thumb taped for the entire tournament and estimated her thumb to be 60 percent healed .
Still , she @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and made only five bogeys over her final 36 holes .
Creamer birdied the 18th hole to end the third round , then birdied the fifth and ninth holes in the fourth round to move to 2 under .
After a bogey at 12 , she birdied 14 and 15 .
“ I knew I could make pars up until 12 , 13 , from there in , ” she said .
“ You know , there are some difficult holes , but I thought if I could maybe go around 1 under @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of pulling it out.
” Creamer said she didn ’ t look at the leader board until she walked up the 18th fairway , but that she had an inkling she was in good shape when her caddie , Colin Cann , told her she could hit a 5-iron on the 229-yard , par-4 17th .
Her plan all week was to try to drive the green with the tees up so far .
“ Then I kind of figured , OK , well , that ’ s fine then , ” she @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ” This was Creamer ’ s eighth U.S. Women ’ s Open .
She finished tied for sixth the past two years .
“ My main goal was to have four good days of golf , ” she said .
“ I ’ ve never really been able to put four good rounds of golf in a major championship .
I really give myself , you know , I guess the credit for being patient.
” Patience contrasted with her previous aggressive approach , but Oakmont , with its tight fairways , punishing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ than hardwood floors , forced her to revamp her style .
“ I really feel that I ’ ve learned how to play major championships , ” she said .
“ You know , being super-aggressive has kind of hurt me in the past.
” She may need that aggressiveness back to enjoy her post-major championship celebration plans .
Once she won a major , she told herself , she would go sky diving with her father , manager and coach .
Not her caddie , Cann , who ’ s afraid of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to win a grand slam or something for him to get up there , ” she said .
The way she played this weekend , you never know .
All nine of Creamer ’ s LPGA victories came as she led going into the final round .
Creamer is the 12th first-time winner among the last 15 majors .
Until Cristie Kerr won the LPGA and Creamer won the Women ’ s Open , the United States had won only eight of the last 39 majors .
The Associated Press contributed to this @ @

(This story was originally published on July 11, 2010)
By Bill Brink, Special to Bay Area News Group
OAKMONT, Pa. — After her final putt dropped, Paula Creamer covered her face with her hands. The tape around her surgically repaired thumb, the one that hurt so badly during the tournament and in the four months she didn’t play, was in plain sight.
Somehow, the worse she felt all week, the better she played.
Creamer, who grew up in Pleasanton, shot a 2-under 69 Sunday to win the 65th U.S. Women’s Open at Oakmont Country Club, her first major tournament victory. In an Open that saw rain shorten some days, lengthen others and test the resiliency of the competitors, Creamer was the only golfer to finish under par. She totaled a 3-under 281.
Creamer’s lead never dipped below two shots in the final round. Na Yeon Choi of South Korea shot a 5-under 66 to tie Suzann Pettersen of Norway for second place at 1-over 285.
“That’s kind of a big relief off of my shoulders, but I knew that the time would come,” Creamer, 23, said. “I just had to be patient.”
So did all the players. Thunderstorms forced the second round to be suspended Friday, and play resumed Saturday before the third round was played Saturday afternoon. Creamer played 28 holes Saturday and finished the final five holes of her third round Sunday morning.
That’s a lot of golf for a bad thumb to handle. Creamer withdrew from her first tournament this season, the Honda LPGA Thailand in February, because of a thumb injury that required surgery in March and three months of rehabilitation.
Limited to 40 practice shots before each round to lessen the pounding, Creamer found the best possible way to limit the discomfort: take as few strokes as possible.
“I believed I could do this,” she said. “I believed I could do this when I had a cast on my hand. That’s what I just kept thinking about was Oakmont, Oakmont, Oakmont.”
Creamer kept the thumb taped for the entire tournament and estimated her thumb to be 60 percent healed.
Still, she broke par in her final three rounds and made only five bogeys over her final 36 holes. Creamer birdied the 18th hole to end the third round, then birdied the fifth and ninth holes in the fourth round to move to 2 under. After a bogey at 12, she birdied 14 and 15.
“I knew I could make pars up until 12, 13, from there in,” she said. “You know, there are some difficult holes, but I thought if I could maybe go around 1 under, I might have a good chance of pulling it out.”
Creamer said she didn’t look at the leader board until she walked up the 18th fairway, but that she had an inkling she was in good shape when her caddie, Colin Cann, told her she could hit a 5-iron on the 229-yard, par-4 17th. Her plan all week was to try to drive the green with the tees up so far.
“Then I kind of figured, OK, well, that’s fine then,” she said. “We can lay up.”
This was Creamer’s eighth U.S. Women’s Open. She finished tied for sixth the past two years.
“My main goal was to have four good days of golf,” she said. “I’ve never really been able to put four good rounds of golf in a major championship. I really give myself, you know, I guess the credit for being patient.”
Patience contrasted with her previous aggressive approach, but Oakmont, with its tight fairways, punishing sand traps and greens that roll faster than hardwood floors, forced her to revamp her style.
“I really feel that I’ve learned how to play major championships,” she said. “You know, being super-aggressive has kind of hurt me in the past.”
She may need that aggressiveness back to enjoy her post-major championship celebration plans. Once she won a major, she told herself, she would go sky diving with her father, manager and coach. Not her caddie, Cann, who’s afraid of heights.
“I’d have to win a grand slam or something for him to get up there,” she said.
The way she played this weekend, you never know.
All nine of Creamer’s LPGA victories came as she led going into the final round.
Creamer is the 12th first-time winner among the last 15 majors. Until Cristie Kerr won the LPGA and Creamer won the Women’s Open, the United States had won only eight of the last 39 majors.
The Associated Press contributed to this story.


Bridge: July 11, 2020

Defenders deal with the handicap of not seeing each other ’ s hands by signaling .
Most signals are “ attitude ” : a high-card signal shows a desire for that suit to be led or continued .
“ Count ” and “ suit-preference ” signals are also useful .
In today ’ s deal , West leads his singleton diamond against four spades : ace , ten , four .
South next leads a trump to his king .
If West takes his ace , he may lead a heart next : the suit East bid .
South wins @ @ @ @ @ @ @ club and a diamond , making game .
West should duck the first trump and win the second , giving East a chance to signal where his entry lies .
When he discards the nine of clubs , West knows what to do .
True , East could follow with his deuce on the first diamond .
That would work if West treated the deuce as suit preference : East ’ s lowest diamond to suggest strength in the low-ranking suit .
In my view , East ’ s play would not clearly @ @ @ @ @ @ @ attitude , saying East doesn ’ t like diamonds .
You hold : S A 6 3 H 10 8 5 3 2 D 9 C 8 6 5 3 .
Only the opponents are vulnerable .
Your partner deals and opens one heart .
The next player bids one spade .
What do you say ?
ANSWER : Bid four hearts as a two-way action .
If all pass , partner may make the contract .
If the opponents can make four spades , you make it harder for them to get @ @ @ @ @ @ @ have promising defense against four spades by leading your singleton diamond . )

Defenders deal with the handicap of not seeing each other’s hands by signaling. Most signals are “attitude”: a high-card signal shows a desire for that suit to be led or continued. “Count” and “suit-preference” signals are also useful.
In today’s deal, West leads his singleton diamond against four spades: ace, ten, four. South next leads a trump to his king. If West takes his ace, he may lead a heart next: the suit East bid. South wins, draws trumps, and loses a club and a diamond, making game.
SECOND TRUMP
West should duck the first trump and win the second, giving East a chance to signal where his entry lies. When he discards the nine of clubs, West knows what to do.
True, East could follow with his deuce on the first diamond. That would work if West treated the deuce as suit preference: East’s lowest diamond to suggest strength in the low-ranking suit. In my view, East’s play would not clearly be suit preference. It might be attitude, saying East doesn’t like diamonds.
DAILY QUESTION
You hold: S A 6 3 H 10 8 5 3 2 D 9 C 8 6 5 3. Only the opponents are vulnerable. Your partner deals and opens one heart. The next player bids one spade. What do you say?
ANSWER: Bid four hearts as a two-way action. If all pass, partner may make the contract. If the opponents can make four spades, you make it harder for them to get there. (Actually, you would have promising defense against four spades by leading your singleton diamond.)
East dealer
E-W vulnerable
NORTH
S Q 10 7 2
H 7
D A 7 6 3
C Q 10 7 4
WEST
S A 6 3
H 10 8 5 3 2
D 9
C 8 6 5 3
EAST
S 4
H K Q J 9 4
D K 10 8 2
C A 9 2
SOUTH
S K J 9 8 5
H A 6
D Q J 5 4
C K J
East South West North
1 H 1 S 2 H 3 S
Pass 4 S All Pass
Opening lead — D 9
(C)2020 TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.


mercurynews--2020-07-11--Horoscopes July 11, 2020: Richie Sambora, trust and believe in yourself.

Happy Birthday : Where you focus your time and energy will make a difference this year .
Look at the opportunities that can result due to difficult times .
Set high standards and goals that require the attributes and experience you already have and those that will encourage growth that will bring far-reaching results for years to come .
Trust and believe in yourself .
Your numbers are 3 , 10 , 19 , 24 , 32 , 43 , 45 .
ARIES ( March 21-April 19 ) : Stop before you say something you ’ ll regret .
Handle @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that will help ease stress and take your mind off your worries .
Offer peace and love , and you ’ ll get the same in return .
Romance is in the stars .
3 stars TAURUS ( April 20-May 20 ) : Say less and do more .
The way you handle situations will be impressive and encourage others to take note and learn from your actions .
Take the role of leadership in order to make a difference .
A change you make will get compliments .
3 stars GEMINI ( @ @ @ @ @ @ @ effective ways to help others without jeopardizing your health or well-being .
Doing what ’ s right and verifying information before you share will help you ward off anyone trying to take advantage of you .
Self-improvement and romance are favored .
4 stars CANCER ( June 21-July 22 ) : Stick to the rules to avoid consequences .
Don ’ t argue with someone who can disrupt your life or future .
Make positive changes that will encourage you to associate with the people who bring out your best qualities , not @ @ @ @ @ @ @ stars LEO ( July 23-Aug. 22 ) : Swing into action , be productive and take care of physical tasks .
Don ’ t think about making a change until you tidy up loose ends .
Your reputation and peace of mind depend on your ability to keep up and surpass your expectations .
Romance is encouraged .
5 stars VIRGO ( Aug. 23-Sept. 22 ) : When boredom sets in , it ’ s time to make adjustments .
Look for a new way to add some excitement to your life .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ , and get the lowdown on something that interests you .
Expand your mind .
3 stars LIBRA ( Sept. 23-Oct. 22 ) : Stick to personal projects .
Self-improvement , individual growth and adjustments to the way you live or how you handle your relationships with others will lead to a better life .
Don ’ t debate with someone who doesn ’ t share your opinions .
3 stars SCORPIO ( Oct. 23-Nov. 21 ) : Something unfamiliar will tempt you .
Follow the path that will lead to knowledge , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ motivate you to use your skills and talents in unique ways .
Promote what you have to offer .
3 stars SAGITTARIUS ( Nov. 22-Dec. 21 ) : Make someone you love happy .
Making home improvements , adding to your entertainment system or spending more time building a pleasant environment will bring you closer to the ones you love .
Keep your distance from outsiders , and avoid meddling .
5 stars CAPRICORN ( Dec. 22-Jan. 19 ) : Not everyone will agree with you , especially if you try to make @ @ @ @ @ @ @ before you start a project that will lead to opposition .
Have your facts , figures and incentives ready to present .
Keep the peace .
2 stars AQUARIUS ( Jan. 20-Feb. 18 ) : You ’ ll have plenty of energy , ideas and plans that make your place a happy , fun-loving environment .
How you respond to the ones you love will add to the admiration and respect you deserve .
A romantic gesture is encouraged .
4 stars PISCES ( Feb. 19-March 20 ) : Do whatever you can @ @ @ @ @ @ @ smile on someone ’ s face , and you ’ ll feel good .
Show strength and courage when dealing with people trying to entice you with temptation .
Positive change begins within .
Do your best .
3 stars Birthday Baby : You are emotional , witty and bold .
You are diligent and inspirational .

CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: Justin Chambers, 50; Lisa Rinna, 57; Richie Sambora, 61; Sela Ward, 64.
Happy Birthday: Where you focus your time and energy will make a difference this year. Look at the opportunities that can result due to difficult times. Set high standards and goals that require the attributes and experience you already have and those that will encourage growth that will bring far-reaching results for years to come. Trust and believe in yourself. Your numbers are 3, 10, 19, 24, 32, 43, 45.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Stop before you say something you’ll regret. Handle pent-up energy wisely. Do something physical that will help ease stress and take your mind off your worries. Offer peace and love, and you’ll get the same in return. Romance is in the stars. 3 stars
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Say less and do more. The way you handle situations will be impressive and encourage others to take note and learn from your actions. Take the role of leadership in order to make a difference. A change you make will get compliments. 3 stars
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Look for effective ways to help others without jeopardizing your health or well-being. Doing what’s right and verifying information before you share will help you ward off anyone trying to take advantage of you. Self-improvement and romance are favored. 4 stars
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Stick to the rules to avoid consequences. Don’t argue with someone who can disrupt your life or future. Make positive changes that will encourage you to associate with the people who bring out your best qualities, not those enticing you with temptation. 2 stars
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Swing into action, be productive and take care of physical tasks. Don’t think about making a change until you tidy up loose ends. Your reputation and peace of mind depend on your ability to keep up and surpass your expectations. Romance is encouraged. 5 stars
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When boredom sets in, it’s time to make adjustments. Look for a new way to add some excitement to your life. Reach out to people who inspire you, and get the lowdown on something that interests you. Expand your mind. 3 stars
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Stick to personal projects. Self-improvement, individual growth and adjustments to the way you live or how you handle your relationships with others will lead to a better life. Don’t debate with someone who doesn’t share your opinions. 3 stars
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Something unfamiliar will tempt you. Follow the path that will lead to knowledge, wisdom and experience, and it will motivate you to use your skills and talents in unique ways. Promote what you have to offer. 3 stars
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Make someone you love happy. Making home improvements, adding to your entertainment system or spending more time building a pleasant environment will bring you closer to the ones you love. Keep your distance from outsiders, and avoid meddling. 5 stars
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Not everyone will agree with you, especially if you try to make changes that affect others. Get approval before you start a project that will lead to opposition. Have your facts, figures and incentives ready to present. Keep the peace. 2 stars
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’ll have plenty of energy, ideas and plans that make your place a happy, fun-loving environment. How you respond to the ones you love will add to the admiration and respect you deserve. A romantic gesture is encouraged. 4 stars
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Do whatever you can to make a difference. Put a smile on someone’s face, and you’ll feel good. Show strength and courage when dealing with people trying to entice you with temptation. Positive change begins within. Do your best. 3 stars
Birthday Baby: You are emotional, witty and bold. You are diligent and inspirational.
Visit Eugenialast.com, or join Eugenia on Twitter/Facebook/LinkedIn.


mercurynews--2020-07-11--Word Game: July 11, 2020

Word Game: July 11, 2020

Can you find 48 or more words in LAZURITE ?
The list will be published Monday .
YESTERDAY ’ S @ @ @ @ @ else elves epos even neve noel noes nose novel venose vole leno lens lone lope @ @ @ @ @ peen peon peso pole pone pose seen seep seven sleep sloe slop slope sloven sole @ @ @ @ @ the Word Game book , visit WordGameBooks.com .
Order it now for just $ 5 @ @ @ @ @ .
Words must be of four or more letters .
2 .
Words that acquire @ @ @ @ @ of “ s , ” such as “ bats ” or “ dies , ” @ @ @ @ @ .
Additional words made by adding a “ d ” or an “ s ” @ @ @ @ @ For example , if “ bake ” is used , “ baked ” or “ @ @ @ @ @ , but “ bake ” and “ baking ” are admissible .
4 .
Proper @ @ @ @ @ or vulgar or sexually explicit words are not allowed .

TODAY’S WORD — LAZURITE (LAZURITE: LAZ-yoo-rite: A relatively rare translucent greenish-blue mineral.)
Average mark 33 words
Time limit 45 minutes
Can you find 48 or more words in LAZURITE? The list will be published Monday.
YESTERDAY’S WORD — ENVELOPS elevon elope else elves epos even neve noel
noes nose novel venose vole leno lens lone lope lose love open oven peel peen peon
peso pole pone pose seen seep seven sleep sloe slop slope sloven sole solve sone
spleen
To purchase the Word Game book, visit WordGameBooks.com. Order it now for just $5 while supplies last!
RULES OF THE GAME:
1. Words must be of four or more letters.
2. Words that acquire four letters by the addition of “s,” such as “bats” or “dies,” are not allowed.
3. Additional words made by adding a “d” or an “s” may not be used. For example, if “bake” is used, “baked” or “bakes” are not allowed, but “bake” and “baking” are admissible.
4. Proper nouns, slang words, or vulgar or sexually explicit words are not allowed.
Contact Word Game creator Kathleen Saxe at kzsaxe@gmail.com.


mercurynews--2020-07-11--Ask Amy: I’m sure my reaction to the gift offended her, but what else could I do?

Dear Amy : My granddaughter is barely scraping along .
She is divorced from her vindictive and nasty husband .
They have three teenagers for whom she is mainly responsible .
She had a good job when she divorced , so the court-ordered child support was low .
She has a part-time job now , but with no benefits , and she has had some serious health issues .
I help her out by sending her about $ 1,800 a month .
My husband and I are retired and are comfortably well-off .
There is nothing that we need or @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for ourselves .
However , our granddaughter sends us gift cards for things that we don ’ t want or would not get for ourselves .
To me , that is akin to robbing Peter to pay Paul .
The last time she sent me something , I wrote to her and asked her not to send us anything of monetary value .
A card or a Zoom call would be more than enough to make us happy .
• Ask Amy : I just learned what he said about marrying me • @ @ @ @ @ @ @ very sad mother , and it ’ s my daughter ’ s fault • Ask Amy : I just found out about my husband ’ s secret life • Ask Amy : I want my unhappy neighbor to leave me alone • Ask Amy : I ’ m very put off by my girlfriend ’ s relationship with her dog We are also very old and try to go out as little as possible until there is a vaccine for the virus .
Well , she has just sent my husband a Father @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to spend at Starbucks .
He doesn ’ t want it .
I have sent it back to her and asked her again not to send us such gifts .
I am sure that I am hurting her feelings and I don ’ t know what to do about it .
Do you have any suggestions about how better to handle this ?
Dear Grands : You are so generous , and your granddaughter obviously appreciates it very much .
She is trying , in her way , to thank you and reciprocate @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you , but after your second admonition and correction , I think it ’ s time to let it go .
You might be able to re-gift or donate any gift cards to someone who might use them .
Dear Amy : I ’ ve been married for many years .
A few years back I started an online friendship with another woman .
We ’ ve emailed back and forth , and I really enjoyed our correspondence over the years .
She ’ s had a much more exciting life than I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ our shared knowledge and experiences made for an online relationship that ’ s better than anything I ’ ve had with my wife .
I knew we ’ d never meet in person .
I never attempted a face-to-face meeting with her and was perfectly happy with that .
Then , two years ago , her writings to me became less frequent and much more politically tinged .
She attributed this to an injury she suffered and the subsequent recovery from it .
Her correspondence to me has since dropped down to nothing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ hurt by this .
My wife knows nothing of this , and I find that my wife and I have less and less in common anymore .
Should I continue to correspond with her and hope things will go back to normal , or should I just end things altogether and try to move on ?
Dear Hurt : When I comment on the insidious effect ( and often damage ) that secret “ friendships ” have on a marriage , people often respond : “ But married people can — and should @ @ @ @ @ @ @ committed partners can ( and should ! )
conduct their own friendships , but when the friendship is a secret , over time the secrecy amplifies a feeling of intimacy between the friends , leaving the primary partner out .
Your situation is a perfect example of this phenomenon .
As your online friendship grew , your in-person relationship shrank .
And now , unfortunately , both relationships have dwindled .
Maybe you pursued your online friendship in the first place because you believed that something important was missing in your marriage .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ least going to try to be a full partner to your spouse , then you should own the consequence .
You should respect your online friend ’ s choice to maintain some distance from you .
You could express concern about her but then you should respect the choices she is making .
Then you could take the extra relationship energy and recommit to trying to reconnect with your wife .
You might start by sending her a warmly written email .
Dear Amy : “ Too Nice ” described being so nice @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
That used to be me !
Thank you for telling her that people will react poorly when she attempts to establish boundaries .
This is just their way of struggling to adjust .
Dear Been There : It ’ s hard to switch it up !
People will push back .
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy @ amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy , P.O .
Box 194 , Freeville , NY 13068 .
You can also follow her on Twitter @ askingamy or Facebook .

Dear Amy: My granddaughter is barely scraping along. She is divorced from her vindictive and nasty husband. They have three teenagers for whom she is mainly responsible.
She had a good job when she divorced, so the court-ordered child support was low. She has a part-time job now, but with no benefits, and she has had some serious health issues. I help her out by sending her about $1,800 a month.
My husband and I are retired and are comfortably well-off. There is nothing that we need or want that we can’t get for ourselves.
However, our granddaughter sends us gift cards for things that we don’t want or would not get for ourselves. To me, that is akin to robbing Peter to pay Paul.
The last time she sent me something, I wrote to her and asked her not to send us anything of monetary value. A card or a Zoom call would be more than enough to make us happy.
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Well, she has just sent my husband a Father’s Day card for $25 to spend at Starbucks. He doesn’t want it. I have sent it back to her and asked her again not to send us such gifts.
I am sure that I am hurting her feelings and I don’t know what to do about it.
Do you have any suggestions about how better to handle this?
Grands
Dear Grands: You are so generous, and your granddaughter obviously appreciates it very much. She is trying, in her way, to thank you and reciprocate.
I realize this is frustrating for you, but after your second admonition and correction, I think it’s time to let it go. You might be able to re-gift or donate any gift cards to someone who might use them.
Dear Amy: I’ve been married for many years. A few years back I started an online friendship with another woman. We’ve emailed back and forth, and I really enjoyed our correspondence over the years.
She’s had a much more exciting life than I’ve had, but I found our shared knowledge and experiences made for an online relationship that’s better than anything I’ve had with my wife.
I knew we’d never meet in person. I never attempted a face-to-face meeting with her and was perfectly happy with that. Then, two years ago, her writings to me became less frequent and much more politically tinged.
She attributed this to an injury she suffered and the subsequent recovery from it.
Her correspondence to me has since dropped down to nothing, I miss it and feel truly hurt by this. My wife knows nothing of this, and I find that my wife and I have less and less in common anymore.
Should I continue to correspond with her and hope things will go back to normal, or should I just end things altogether and try to move on?
Hurt Online
Dear Hurt: When I comment on the insidious effect (and often damage) that secret “friendships” have on a marriage, people often respond: “But married people can — and should — have friends!”
Yes, committed partners can (and should!) conduct their own friendships, but when the friendship is a secret, over time the secrecy amplifies a feeling of intimacy between the friends, leaving the primary partner out.
Your situation is a perfect example of this phenomenon. As your online friendship grew, your in-person relationship shrank. And now, unfortunately, both relationships have dwindled.
Maybe you pursued your online friendship in the first place because you believed that something important was missing in your marriage. But if you aren’t at least going to try to be a full partner to your spouse, then you should own the consequence.
You should respect your online friend’s choice to maintain some distance from you. You could express concern about her but then you should respect the choices she is making.
Then you could take the extra relationship energy and recommit to trying to reconnect with your wife. You might start by sending her a warmly written email.
Dear Amy: “Too Nice” described being so nice that people always take advantage of her.
That used to be me! Thank you for telling her that people will react poorly when she attempts to establish boundaries. This is just their way of struggling to adjust.
Been There
Dear Been There: It’s hard to switch it up! People will push back.
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.


mercurynews--2020-07-11--Harriette Cole: These young employees can’t even show up on time

DEAR HARRIETTE : Even during these times when so many people are out of work , I am seeing that some young people do not want to work hard .
Am I wrong to say that ?
I have hired two recent college grads in the past two months .
And — can you believe it ?
— they don ’ t show up to work , meaning to a Zoom call , on time .
They arrive 10 to 20 minutes late to meetings without even an acknowledgment that they were late .
I don ’ t want to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ but I don ’ t get it .
I am giving them a chance to work at a time when I need their undivided attention and focus , and I ’ m not getting it .
How can I motivate them ?
DEAR UNMOTIVATED : Now is the time to teach .
You say your employees are recent college grads .
The transition from school to work may be more of an adjustment than they imagined .
They also may not know things that you consider basic — such as how important it @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Write up office rules that outline specifically what your expectations are for your employees .
Review them with your staff , and have them sign the document to say that they understand and accept the rules .
Point out to them that in the virtual work environment , you have specific expectations , and you need them to be honored .
• Harriette Cole : Should I warn him that I might break up with him ?
• Harriette Cole : We ’ re stuck in the house together and they broke this @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t Zoom with us because it ’ s too religious • Harriette Cole : Should I say something about my roommate ’ s worrisome eating habits ?
• Harriette Cole : My ex-boyfriend still lives with me , and he brings women home DEAR HARRIETTE : I ’ m the mother of 17- and 20-year-old sons who ’ ve both gone through non-bathing phases .
I agree wholeheartedly with the mother of the 22-year-old who suggested not pushing the issue too much because it could tip him over to suicide .
Our @ @ @ @ @ @ @ his senior year .
Being a teenager is rough in ordinary times , but now they are really struggling .
Bathing may be one of the few things he can control in a world that feels out of control .
Not bathing won ’ t kill him .
Eventually he ’ ll come around .
In the meantime , let him make his own decisions about his body .
DEAR ANOTHER PARENT OF TEENS : I am so very sorry for your loss .
Teen suicide is a real issue in our community @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Of course , bathing or not doesn ’ t hold a candle to the much bigger issue of mental health .
Emotions are running high for many people during this elongated period of sheltering at home .
I have heard from many families who are trying to figure out how to support their children , particularly teenagers , during this time .
I know the restrictions that my own teenage daughter now has to endure are the exact opposite of the freedoms we once allowed her .
As a blossoming young adult @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and be with her friends — with appropriate curfew considerations — but that has ended due to COVID-19 , at least for now .
I agree that we need to listen carefully and closely to our children and do all that we can to keep them mentally , spiritually and physically healthy during this time .
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS , an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams .
You can send questions to askharriette @ harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication , 1130 Walnut @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .

DEAR HARRIETTE: Even during these times when so many people are out of work, I am seeing that some young people do not want to work hard. Am I wrong to say that?
I have hired two recent college grads in the past two months. And — can you believe it? — they don’t show up to work, meaning to a Zoom call, on time. They arrive 10 to 20 minutes late to meetings without even an acknowledgment that they were late.
I don’t want to seem like a crotchety old boss, but I don’t get it. I am giving them a chance to work at a time when I need their undivided attention and focus, and I’m not getting it. How can I motivate them?
Unmotivated
DEAR UNMOTIVATED: Now is the time to teach. You say your employees are recent college grads. The transition from school to work may be more of an adjustment than they imagined. They also may not know things that you consider basic — such as how important it is to show up on time.
Write up office rules that outline specifically what your expectations are for your employees. Review them with your staff, and have them sign the document to say that they understand and accept the rules. Point out to them that in the virtual work environment, you have specific expectations, and you need them to be honored.
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Harriette Cole: I’m ashamed to tell people I forgave my childhood friend Advice | Harriette Cole: I’ve worked hard, and my poor siblings resent my success DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m the mother of 17- and 20-year-old sons who’ve both gone through non-bathing phases. I agree wholeheartedly with the mother of the 22-year-old who suggested not pushing the issue too much because it could tip him over to suicide. Our oldest lost his best friend to suicide his senior year. Being a teenager is rough in ordinary times, but now they are really struggling.
Bathing may be one of the few things he can control in a world that feels out of control. Not bathing won’t kill him. Eventually he’ll come around. In the meantime, let him make his own decisions about his body.
Another Parent of Teens
DEAR ANOTHER PARENT OF TEENS: I am so very sorry for your loss. Teen suicide is a real issue in our community, something we must all take seriously. Of course, bathing or not doesn’t hold a candle to the much bigger issue of mental health.
Emotions are running high for many people during this elongated period of sheltering at home. I have heard from many families who are trying to figure out how to support their children, particularly teenagers, during this time. I know the restrictions that my own teenage daughter now has to endure are the exact opposite of the freedoms we once allowed her. As a blossoming young adult, she was able to go out and be with her friends — with appropriate curfew considerations — but that has ended due to COVID-19, at least for now.
I agree that we need to listen carefully and closely to our children and do all that we can to keep them mentally, spiritually and physically healthy during this time.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


mercurynews--2020-07-11--Miss Manners: They said no to my wedding invitation. Should I give them another chance?

DEAR MISS MANNERS : Please help !
We sent out 220 wedding invitations ; got back 175 yeses ; then the wedding venue in San Francisco shut down in March with eight days ’ notice !
We desperately tried to find an alternate venue , without success , and ended up canceling and calling all guests to tell them it was canceled .
Fortunately , most out-of-town wedding guests were able to get airfare/hotels refunded .
( No refunds for the wedding venue , caterers , etc.
, but we could reschedule with little additional cost . )
If and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ handle the rescheduling ?
Specifically , reinvite all the original invitees ?
Reinvite only those who RSVPed yes ?
If we reinvite only those guests who responded yes , what should we do about those who sent gifts even though they didn ’ t plan to attend ?
And what form should any reinvitations take ?
Bride and groom hope to marry in a ceremony for immediate family as soon as the quarantine is lifted but have a belated reception .
• Miss Manners : It offends me that I ’ m expected @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Manners : These men ask how tall I am , then they get even ruder • Miss Manners : I ’ m breaking up with my friends , and they say I ’ m being childish • Miss Manners : How did my compliment get turned into an insult ?
• Miss Manners : She publicly chided me for keeping my stimulus check GENTLE READER : If the wedding is held with only immediate family present , Miss Manners suggests sending an announcement afterward , which can also serve as a pledge for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the guests should be reinvited : Dr. Lily Jean Appletree and Mr. Conrad Mark Simpkins announce their marriage on Thursday , June 25 Superior Court Reception to follow when possible The letters of thanks for the presents already received should make it clear that nothing more is warranted : “ Conrad and I were so dismayed that we weren ’ t able to have the ceremony with everybody there .
We do hope that we will see you at the reception when it is rescheduled .
In the meantime , thank you for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ have been testing out many and various different pies to see which one it slices best .
I say cherry.
” DEAR MISS MANNERS : My dear mother ’ s death is sadly approaching , and it will be up to me to write her obituary .
I know that “ she was preceded in death by her husband , ( insert Dad ’ s name ) ” is the first thing to add after the date she passed .
Then comes the trouble spot for me : “ She is survived by @ @ @ @ @ @ @ How about nieces/nephews-in-law ?
Both my brother and sister are married , but I am not .
There are no big rifts in our family right now , so I don ’ t want to cause one .
What would be the correct wording ?
“ She is survived by her son , Abelard , and his wife , Heloise ” ?
“ She is survived by her son , Abelard , and daughter-in-law , Heloise ” ?
Please note that Heloise is easily offended , which is certainly not what I want @ @ @ @ @ @ @ READER : The proper wording is to list pertinent family members in relation to the deceased .
In this case , it would be , “ She is survived by her son , Abelard , and daughter-in-law , Heloise.
” Unfortunately , Miss Manners is afraid that if Heloise is prone to being offended , she will likely find cause no matter how you phrase it .
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website , www.missmanners.com ; to her email , dearmissmanners @ gmail.com ; or through postal mail to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 1130 Walnut St. , Kansas City , MO 64106 .

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please help! We sent out 220 wedding invitations; got back 175 yeses; then the wedding venue in San Francisco shut down in March with eight days’ notice!
We desperately tried to find an alternate venue, without success, and ended up canceling and calling all guests to tell them it was canceled.
Fortunately, most out-of-town wedding guests were able to get airfare/hotels refunded. (No refunds for the wedding venue, caterers, etc., but we could reschedule with little additional cost.)
If and when things open, how should we handle the rescheduling? Specifically, reinvite all the original invitees? Reinvite only those who RSVPed yes?
If we reinvite only those guests who responded yes, what should we do about those who sent gifts even though they didn’t plan to attend? And what form should any reinvitations take? Bride and groom hope to marry in a ceremony for immediate family as soon as the quarantine is lifted but have a belated reception.
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Miss Manners: She wants to turn our music festival into a get-drunk weekend Advice | Miss Manners: My rule is no gift for a second wedding, no attendance for a third GENTLE READER: If the wedding is held with only immediate family present, Miss Manners suggests sending an announcement afterward, which can also serve as a pledge for a future celebration, to which all the guests should be reinvited:
Dr. Lily Jean Appletree
and
Mr. Conrad Mark Simpkins
announce their marriage
on Thursday, June 25
Superior Court
Reception to follow when possible
The letters of thanks for the presents already received should make it clear that nothing more is warranted: “Conrad and I were so dismayed that we weren’t able to have the ceremony with everybody there. We do hope that we will see you at the reception when it is rescheduled. In the meantime, thank you for the handsome antique pie slicer. We have been testing out many and various different pies to see which one it slices best. I say cherry.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My dear mother’s death is sadly approaching, and it will be up to me to write her obituary.
I know that “she was preceded in death by her husband, (insert Dad’s name)” is the first thing to add after the date she passed. Then comes the trouble spot for me: “She is survived by …” Do I include daughters/sons-in-law? How about nieces/nephews-in-law?
Both my brother and sister are married, but I am not. There are no big rifts in our family right now, so I don’t want to cause one.
What would be the correct wording? “She is survived by her son, Abelard, and his wife, Heloise”? “She is survived by her son, Abelard, and daughter-in-law, Heloise”? Please note that Heloise is easily offended, which is certainly not what I want when this sad time arrives.
GENTLE READER: The proper wording is to list pertinent family members in relation to the deceased. In this case, it would be, “She is survived by her son, Abelard, and daughter-in-law, Heloise.”
Unfortunately, Miss Manners is afraid that if Heloise is prone to being offended, she will likely find cause no matter how you phrase it.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


mercurynews--2020-07-11--Dear Abby: Is my tattoo too offensive for the beach?

DEAR ABBY : I ’ m in my early 30s .
I live and work in a beach town and visit the ocean often on my time off .
I have a large tattoo on my side , and while it ’ s tasteful and well done , it depicts nudity ( an angel ) .
It ’ s always covered by a shirt and never exposed at work .
While I know we ’ re living in a progressive era of expression , including body art , I wonder if it ’ s appropriate to go shirtless and display @ @ @ @ @ @ @ could it be considered offensive to some folks who are not as open-minded ?
I see plenty of other people display all kinds of ink at the beach , even with kids around .
I have only had positive feedback about mine .
The beachgoers I ’ ve met seem to be open-minded .
To cover up or let it show — what are your thoughts ?
• Dear Abby : She stole my cat and now she won ’ t speak to me • Dear Abby : It ’ s exhausting being @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on • Harriette Cole : She won ’ t Zoom with us because it ’ s too religious • Dear Abby : Should I tell my boys why they can never live with their dad ?
• Dear Abby : I am terribly hurt by the obituary they wrote DEAR TATTED : If you want to get a tan , then go for it ( but use sunscreen ) .
However , not all beachgoers will be thrilled seeing a large naked angel getting roasted on the sand , so if you receive @ @ @ @ @ @ @ be more comfortable covering up .
DEAR ABBY : I am married to the kindest and most wonderful man in the world .
We are happy and enjoy each other ’ s company .
He is impotent and was taking medication to correct it while we were dating and at the beginning of our marriage .
The medication gave him terrible headaches , so we agreed to just let the sexual aspect of our marriage go by the wayside .
That was 10 years ago .
I was OK with it until I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ men .
Yikes !
I love my husband and would never cheat on him .
I ’ m at a loss .
Please help .
DEAR JUST A DREAM : Being able to talk about these dreams may help them be less troubling and probably less frequent .
If discussing them with your husband might upset or threaten him — you know him better than I do — then talk with a trusted friend or relative or a licensed mental health professional so you can vent .
Of one thing I am sure @ @ @ @ @ @ @ dreams , the more often they occur .
DEAR ABBY : I have very loud joints .
When I stretch out my neck , back , fingers , etc.
, my joints pop , click , crack , whatever you call it .
They ’ ve always done this , and it isn ’ t painful .
The noise just happens when I stretch my body .
Some of my family and friends tell me they find it gross and don ’ t want to hear it .
I want to be considerate @ @ @ @ @ @ @ automatically without thinking or because I really need to stretch .
Is making this sound rude ?
I don ’ t try to make a lot of noise , but I can ’ t help it .
DEAR NOISY LADY : According to the Cleveland Clinic , the older a person gets , the more noise one ’ s joints can make .
This is normal .
However , if there is pain along with it , it may be time to consult a doctor .
Because the noise is disconcerting to those @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and refrain from doing it in their presence , or GENTLY stretch the muscles around those joints , which may eliminate your need to “ pop off ” entirely .
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren , also known as Jeanne Phillips , and was founded by her mother , Pauline Phillips .
Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O .
Box 69440 , Los Angeles , CA 90069 .

DEAR ABBY: I’m in my early 30s. I live and work in a beach town and visit the ocean often on my time off. I have a large tattoo on my side, and while it’s tasteful and well done, it depicts nudity (an angel).
It’s always covered by a shirt and never exposed at work.
While I know we’re living in a progressive era of expression, including body art, I wonder if it’s appropriate to go shirtless and display edgier graphic images like mine. Or could it be considered offensive to some folks who are not as open-minded?
I see plenty of other people display all kinds of ink at the beach, even with kids around. I have only had positive feedback about mine. The beachgoers I’ve met seem to be open-minded. To cover up or let it show — what are your thoughts?
TATTED IN FLORIDA
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DEAR ABBY: I am married to the kindest and most wonderful man in the world. We are happy and enjoy each other’s company.
He is impotent and was taking medication to correct it while we were dating and at the beginning of our marriage. The medication gave him terrible headaches, so we agreed to just let the sexual aspect of our marriage go by the wayside. That was 10 years ago. I was OK with it until I started dreaming about having sex with random men. Yikes!
I love my husband and would never cheat on him. I’m at a loss. Please help.
JUST A DREAM
DEAR JUST A DREAM: Being able to talk about these dreams may help them be less troubling and probably less frequent. If discussing them with your husband might upset or threaten him — you know him better than I do — then talk with a trusted friend or relative or a licensed mental health professional so you can vent. Of one thing I am sure: The harder one tries to suppress dreams, the more often they occur.
DEAR ABBY: I have very loud joints. When I stretch out my neck, back, fingers, etc., my joints pop, click, crack, whatever you call it. They’ve always done this, and it isn’t painful. The noise just happens when I stretch my body.
Some of my family and friends tell me they find it gross and don’t want to hear it. I want to be considerate, but sometimes I pop my joints automatically without thinking or because I really need to stretch. Is making this sound rude? I don’t try to make a lot of noise, but I can’t help it.
NOISY LADY IN MICHIGAN
DEAR NOISY LADY: According to the Cleveland Clinic, the older a person gets, the more noise one’s joints can make. This is normal. However, if there is pain along with it, it may be time to consult a doctor.
Because the noise is disconcerting to those around you, try to be mindful and refrain from doing it in their presence, or GENTLY stretch the muscles around those joints, which may eliminate your need to “pop off” entirely.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.