mercurynews--2020-09-26--Editorial: Our picks as Antioch elects an entirely new council

Click here for a complete list of our election recommendations .
It ’ s a rare thing in municipal elections : Every Antioch City Council seat is on the ballot for the Nov. 3 election .
That leaves voters with a chance to install a completely new set of leaders .
But we wouldn ’ t recommend it .
Instead , voters should elect Councilman Lamar Thorpe as mayor , Councilwoman Joy Motts in District 1 , real estate broker Michael Barbanica in District 2 , homeless advocate Nichole Gardner in District 3 , and Councilwoman Monica Wilson in District @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the city has used district elections .
Other cities making the transition from at-large have generally phased in district elections over two election cycles .
But Antioch is doing it all at once .
Elections in Districts 1 and 4 will be for two-year terms this year and then four-year terms staring in 2022 .
This years ’ elections for mayor and in Districts 2 and 3 are for four-year terms .
It comes at a crucial time for the city .
Although city finances are much improved from the extraordinarily lean years @ @ @ @ @ @ @ faces major financial challenges .
The retirement plans for public employees were , at last count , underfunded by $ 148 million , a debt likely to increase because of the current economic downturn .
On a positive note , the city has started making full annual payments to workers ’ retiree health care plans , which stops that part of the debt from continuing to balloon .
Early indications are that most of the city ’ s large retailers are holding up during the current downturn ; that ’ s good for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ revenue .
And the city has reaped about $ 1 million a year from taxing marijuana operations .
But rough projections show the city could be in for significant budget cuts in the next few years .
Meanwhile , Antioch maintains a horrible housing-jobs imbalance with fewer than half as many jobs as residents who are employed .
Consequently , once the pandemic recedes , the abysmal Highway 4 commute will likely return .
Unless the city curtails its sprawling growth , the congestion will only get worse .
And the city is @ @ @ @ @ @ @ reform after the Police Department hired a cop who had resigned from the San Francisco force before he could be disciplined for actions that led to the fatal shooting of a homeless man .
It ’ s against this background that voters will pick all five council members for the first time since 1872 , when the city was incorporated .
Thorpe has been a council leader who understands the city ’ s finances , the need to curtail suburban sprawl and the need for more police accountability , both in its hiring @ @ @ @ @ @ @ force .
While incumbent Sean Wright is a smart leader — we previously endorsed him for mayor — Thorpe is the better pick at a time when the city will confront the financial effects of the pandemic and concern about law enforcement .
Motts , a former school board trustee in her first City Council term , brings breadth on the issues , especially her understanding of city finances and her recognition that the city should stop approving sprawl development .
Tamisha Walker , executive director of a group aimed at ending mass @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , perhaps on a city commission , and lacks understanding of city finances .
Manny Soliz , who served on the council from 1996-2000 , lost us when he advocated for building $ 1 million-plus homes to attract businesses .
That if-we-build-it-they-will-come mentality hasn ’ t worked in Antioch for four decades .
Barbanica , a real estate broker and retired police lieutenant , emphasizes curbing crime but appreciates that law enforcement transparency is important , starting with body cameras for all officers .
He is not averse to more housing but emphasizes @ @ @ @ @ @ @ come first .
Tony Tiscareno lacked basic financial knowledge when he ran for reelection in 2018 after six years on the City Council .
Last week , he said he was out of town and too busy for a video interview .
All four candidates have strengths and weaknesses .
What Gardner brings is a deep understanding of those who are struggling , first as an in-home support services provider for seven years and now as director of Facing Homelessness , a group that provides food and other assistance to the homeless of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ control sprawl and for police oversight , which to her does not mean cutting the department ’ s budget but rather providing civilians to handle social service issues that drain time from crime prevention .
If elected , she needs to develop a better understanding of city finances .
Two-term Councilwoman Wilson is the standout in this race .
She understands basic details of the city ’ s budget , not as well as we ’ d like for an incumbent but far better than the other candidates .
She has a smart @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on infill land near transit .
In contrast , Alex John Astorga wants to build on land farthest from transit , and Sandra White is stuck in the outdated thinking that more homes , especially high-end , will bring in businesses .

Click here for a complete list of our election recommendations.
It’s a rare thing in municipal elections: Every Antioch City Council seat is on the ballot for the Nov. 3 election.
That leaves voters with a chance to install a completely new set of leaders. But we wouldn’t recommend it.
Instead, voters should elect Councilman Lamar Thorpe as mayor, Councilwoman Joy Motts in District 1, real estate broker Michael Barbanica in District 2, homeless advocate Nichole Gardner in District 3, and Councilwoman Monica Wilson in District 4.
This is the first time the city has used district elections. Other cities making the transition from at-large have generally phased in district elections over two election cycles.
But Antioch is doing it all at once. Elections in Districts 1 and 4 will be for two-year terms this year and then four-year terms staring in 2022. This years’ elections for mayor and in Districts 2 and 3 are for four-year terms.
It comes at a crucial time for the city. Although city finances are much improved from the extraordinarily lean years after the Great Recession, Antioch still faces major financial challenges.
The retirement plans for public employees were, at last count, underfunded by $148 million, a debt likely to increase because of the current economic downturn. On a positive note, the city has started making full annual payments to workers’ retiree health care plans, which stops that part of the debt from continuing to balloon.
Early indications are that most of the city’s large retailers are holding up during the current downturn; that’s good for a city heavily dependent on sales tax revenue. And the city has reaped about $1 million a year from taxing marijuana operations. But rough projections show the city could be in for significant budget cuts in the next few years.
Meanwhile, Antioch maintains a horrible housing-jobs imbalance with fewer than half as many jobs as residents who are employed. Consequently, once the pandemic recedes, the abysmal Highway 4 commute will likely return. Unless the city curtails its sprawling growth, the congestion will only get worse.
And the city is embroiled in a debate over law enforcement reform after the Police Department hired a cop who had resigned from the San Francisco force before he could be disciplined for actions that led to the fatal shooting of a homeless man.
It’s against this background that voters will pick all five council members for the first time since 1872, when the city was incorporated.
Mayor — Thorpe
Thorpe has been a council leader who understands the city’s finances, the need to curtail suburban sprawl and the need for more police accountability, both in its hiring practices and in officers’ use of force.
While incumbent Sean Wright is a smart leader — we previously endorsed him for mayor — Thorpe is the better pick at a time when the city will confront the financial effects of the pandemic and concern about law enforcement.
District 1 — Motts
Motts, a former school board trustee in her first City Council term, brings breadth on the issues, especially her understanding of city finances and her recognition that the city should stop approving sprawl development.
Tamisha Walker, executive director of a group aimed at ending mass incarceration, needs experience in local government, perhaps on a city commission, and lacks understanding of city finances.
Manny Soliz, who served on the council from 1996-2000, lost us when he advocated for building $1 million-plus homes to attract businesses. That if-we-build-it-they-will-come mentality hasn’t worked in Antioch for four decades.
District 2 — Barbanica
Barbanica, a real estate broker and retired police lieutenant, emphasizes curbing crime but appreciates that law enforcement transparency is important, starting with body cameras for all officers. He is not averse to more housing but emphasizes that controlling crime and attracting jobs must come first.
Tony Tiscareno lacked basic financial knowledge when he ran for reelection in 2018 after six years on the City Council. Last week, he said he was out of town and too busy for a video interview.
District 3 — Gardner
All four candidates have strengths and weaknesses. What Gardner brings is a deep understanding of those who are struggling, first as an in-home support services provider for seven years and now as director of Facing Homelessness, a group that provides food and other assistance to the homeless of Antioch.
Gardner understands the need to control sprawl and for police oversight, which to her does not mean cutting the department’s budget but rather providing civilians to handle social service issues that drain time from crime prevention. If elected, she needs to develop a better understanding of city finances.
District 4 — Wilson
Two-term Councilwoman Wilson is the standout in this race. She understands basic details of the city’s budget, not as well as we’d like for an incumbent but far better than the other candidates.
She has a smart approach to housing, advocating smaller homes on infill land near transit. In contrast, Alex John Astorga wants to build on land farthest from transit, and Sandra White is stuck in the outdated thinking that more homes, especially high-end, will bring in businesses.


mercurynews--2020-09-26--NFL fantasy football: 49ers Week 3 projections at New York Giants

SANTA CLARA – Here is how I see the 49ers ’ fantasy football stats for Sunday ’ s visit to the New York Giants : Start him if you ’ re daring , or if you ’ re a diehard 49ers fan and Mullens maniac .
Sit him if you believe the 49ers ’ injury toll is too daunting , though it should be noted Jordan Reed , Brandon Aiyuk and Jerick McKinnon are all back after last Sunday ’ s overlooked success stories .
A banner day still won ’ t guarantee a Week 4 start over a healthier @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in each game , he ’ s shown breakaway speed and he ’ ll get his most opportunities since 2017 , now that he ’ s healthy while Raheem Mostert and Tevin Coleman are OUT with knee injuries .
He could vulcher in at the goal-line for a touchdown run , in case you ’ re desperate for an RB4 .
Just putting this undrafted rookie on your radar in case he debuts .
His speed and shiftiness could cover for Mostert ’ s void .
He and Mullens broke in as 2017 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ kinship that can ’ t be overlooked , and Bourne should be hungry with Deebo Samuel lurking to return to the starting lineup next week .
his kind of ‘ go to ’ thing is hands in transition .
Said Mullens : “ He ’ s not the fastest guy , but he runs great routes , you always know where he ’ s going to be and he can separate versus man coverage.
” Aiyuk got his NFL feet wet on this field last Sunday , proved he was capable of yards @ @ @ @ @ @ @ block .
And he relished it all .
Said Mullens : “ The coolest thing about last week is : Aiyuk , when he finished the game , he was so excited to get back out there .
That was really cool .
He was , ‘ Man , I can ’ t wait to get back out there for next Sunday.
’ To see the energy behind those guys is awesome.
” The Giants will be intent on shutting him down after he scored two touchdowns against the Jets , both off @ @ @ @ @ @ @ aren ’ t great .
Reed apparently is , again .
• 49ers-Giants injury report : George Kittle , Jimmy Garoppolo among those out • 49ers ’ Nick Mullens has something up his sleeve for start against Giants • Where does the NFL send money after fining 49ers ’ Shanahan , Raiders ’ Gruden over face masks ?
• 49ers at Giants : Five keys to winning while avoiding MetLife Stadium ’ s trap door • George Kittle just might return from knee injury vs. Giants despite MetLife field concerns He ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , but he practiced this past week , so that is a great sign for a Week 4 return on Sunday night against Philadelphia to open a three-game homestand .
Gould ’ s made his past 20 field-goal attempts , and he can find some motivation having previously played for the Giants before joining the 49ers .
No Saquon Barkley or Sterling Shepard to take the heat off second-year QB Daniel Jones ( 3-12 as a starter ) .

SANTA CLARA – Here is how I see the 49ers’ fantasy football stats for Sunday’s visit to the New York Giants:
Quarterback Nick Mullens: Start/sit him
Projected stats: 250 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT
Start him if you’re daring, or if you’re a diehard 49ers fan and Mullens maniac. Sit him if you believe the 49ers’ injury toll is too daunting, though it should be noted Jordan Reed, Brandon Aiyuk and Jerick McKinnon are all back after last Sunday’s overlooked success stories. A banner day still won’t guarantee a Week 4 start over a healthier Jimmy Garoppolo.
Running back Jerick McKinnon: Start him
Projected stats: 125 all-purpose yards, 2 TDs
He’s scored in each game, he’s shown breakaway speed and he’ll get his most opportunities since 2017, now that he’s healthy while Raheem Mostert and Tevin Coleman are OUT with knee injuries.
Running back Jeff Wilson: Sit him
Projected stats: 40 yards, 1 TD
He could vulcher in at the goal-line for a touchdown run, in case you’re desperate for an RB4.
Running back JaMycal Hasty: Sit him
Projected stats: 25 yards
Just putting this undrafted rookie on your radar in case he debuts. His speed and shiftiness could cover for Mostert’s void.
Wide receiver Kendrick Bourne: Start him
Projected stats: 80 yards, 1 TD
He and Mullens broke in as 2017 undrafted rookies, so there is a kinship that can’t be overlooked, and Bourne should be hungry with Deebo Samuel lurking to return to the starting lineup next week. his kind of ‘go to’ thing is hands in transition. Said Mullens: “He’s not the fastest guy, but he runs great routes, you always know where he’s going to be and he can separate versus man coverage.”
Wide receiver Brandon Aiyuk: Start him
Projected stats: 75 yards, 1 TD
Aiyuk got his NFL feet wet on this field last Sunday, proved he was capable of yards after the catch and throwing a physical block. And he relished it all. Said Mullens: “The coolest thing about last week is: Aiyuk, when he finished the game, he was so excited to get back out there. That was really cool. He was, ‘Man, I can’t wait to get back out there for next Sunday.’ To see the energy behind those guys is awesome.”
Tight end Jordan Reed: Start him
Projected stats: 5 catches, 60 yards
The Giants will be intent on shutting him down after he scored two touchdowns against the Jets, both off passes from Jimmy Garoppolo. The Giants aren’t great. Reed apparently is, again. Related Articles San Francisco 49ers | Kurtenbach: The 49ers aren’t worried about Nick Bosa’s holdout. They should be
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Tight end George Kittle: Sit him
Projected stats: 0
He’s been ruled out a second straight game, but he practiced this past week, so that is a great sign for a Week 4 return on Sunday night against Philadelphia to open a three-game homestand.
Kicker Robbie Gould: Start him
Projected stats: 2 field goals, 3 point-after kicks
Gould’s made his past 20 field-goal attempts, and he can find some motivation having previously played for the Giants before joining the 49ers.
Defense: Start it
Projected stats: 3 sacks, 2 takeaways, 250 yards allowed
No Saquon Barkley or Sterling Shepard to take the heat off second-year QB Daniel Jones (3-12 as a starter).


mercurynews--2020-09-26--Early Saturday Fremont home fire sends two to hospital

FREMONT — An early morning fire ripped through a home in Fremont Saturday , sending two people to the hospital @ @ @ @ @ before 2 a.m. Saturday , flames could be seen shooting out from a home on @ @ @ @ @ ’ s Sundale neighborhood , pushing thick black smoke into the sky .
At least @ @ @ @ @ the area , along with emergency personnel and several police officers .
Fremont Fire Department @ @ @ @ @ when crews arrived they found a “ well-involved structure fire , ” and the first @ @ @ @ @ interior fire attack and search.
” Krings said two people were pulled from the home @ @ @ @ @ , but he could not confirm their conditions .
The cause of the fire is @ @ @ @ @ Kyle Adams said .
Neighbors came out of their homes to watch crews battle the @ @ @ @ @ be in the area monitoring the situation and investigating throughout the morning , Adams said @

FREMONT — Feda Almaliti, a mother of three and a tireless advocate for people with autism and their families, who helped shift the healthcare landscape in California, died early Saturday along with her son, Muhammed, after a fire tore through their Fremont home, a close friend said.
As of Saturday afternoon, authorities had not confirmed the deaths to this news organization, but people close to her said a family member informed them of the news.
Jill Escher, the president of the National Council on Severe Autism, said Saturday that Almaliti had a “huge personality” that she used to put everyone around her at ease, even while facing her own challenges of raising a son severely affected by autism.
“She’s just sassy, funny, brash, unfiltered,” Escher said.
Almaliti served with Escher as vice president on the council, as well as vice president of the Autism Society of the San Francisco Bay Area, and on the board of the Mental Health and Autism Insurance Project. She was also a Human Relations Commissioner in Fremont.
“She just was this very positive force to the world. She had this amazing personality, when she was in the room you felt it. You just felt the sun was shining a little brighter and the day was a little better, because you had been with Feda that day,” Escher said, while crying over the loss of her friend and colleague.
“Everyone felt like that about her. She’s irreplaceable.”
All day Saturday, an outpouring of love and grief was taking place online, as people shared memories of Almaliti, her indomitable spirit and her dedication to Muhammed, her 15-year-old son.
Shortly before 2 a.m. Saturday, a fire erupted at the family’s home on Serra Place in the city’s Sundale neighborhood. Fremont Fire Department Battalion Chief Will Krings said when crews arrived they found a “well-involved structure fire,” and the first firefighters began “an aggressive interior fire attack and search.”
The single-alarm fire was controlled within 20 minutes but destroyed the two-story home, Fremont fire Battalion Chief Kyle Adams said. The cause of the fire is under investigation.
Almaliti was a trailblazer, friends said. She sued Kaiser Permanente for failing to provide behavior treatment for her son, becoming one of the first parents of an autistic child to successfully challenge medical providers and insurance companies, they said.
Her push for comprehensive care for children with autism, such as speech therapy and occupational therapy, helped change California law. She was part of a core group of parents and advocates behind SB 946, a bill authored by then-state Sen. Darrell Steinberg which went into law in 2012 and requires insurance companies to cover treatment for autism.
“We were in this together, we were fighting together, we were warriors. She was bold and fun,” said Karen Fessel, a mother of a child with autism who worked alongside Almaliti on SB 946.
“It was hard to have a child on the spectrum and lord knows her child was very impacted, but she helped me feel not so alone,” Fessel said.
Fessel shared memories of driving up to Sacramento with Almaliti to go to hearings, testify at meetings, and imploring legislators to listen, often by sharing experiences from their own lives.
“Feda has this magic that she could move people with her stories,” Fessel said.
“I smile and I laugh and I think of extremely spirited and larger than life. She would fill up the room. She was not a shrinking violet,” Fessel said.
Almaliti also gave a voice to the parents struggling during the coronavirus shutdown. In a heart-wrenching interview with NPR in May, she discussed the toll the coronavirus pandemic had on people with severe autism and their families, which she first detailed in an opinion article for STAT. She described her son as “an energetic, loving boy who doesn’t understand what’s going on right now.”
“Mu,” she told NPR, was incredibly confused because his school, the shopping mall and parks — his favorite places to go — were all closed because of the virus. Almaliti became emotional when talking about how the isolation was impacting students and young people with autism.
“They’re doing the best they can every day. … But I don’t know how to accurately convey, it’s really hard. … It’s really hard because I almost feel like nobody hears us. Because my son doesn’t really talk. He doesn’t talk. And I’m supposed to be his voice. And no one’s listening to what’s going on for our families,” she said. “You know, no one gets that we are just as vulnerable as coronavirus people. The coronavirus is going to come and go. Autism is here to stay.”
Escher said Almaliti would always throw herself fully into projects and ideas to help others on the local, state, and national scale, and when friends needed her for strength or help, she would “always find it within herself to go the extra mile” for others.
“There’s just not enough good things to say about her and not enough to say about what an immeasurable loss this is for our community,” Escher said.
Escher and Fessel both attended a virtual birthday celebration on Zoom for Almaliti’s 43rd birthday on Sept. 21, and said they’re still in shock over Almaliti’s death.
“It’s so tragic. She had so much more to give, not just to her family and not just to her friends, but to the autism community here in the Bay Area and nationally. She was a nationally known advocate. A superstar,” Escher said.
“She wanted to make the autism world a happier place. The autism world is a very, very difficult place,” Escher said. “But she did, she made it a happier place.”


mercurynews--2020-09-26--Raiders vs. Patriots: Five keys to winning in a short week with cross country flight

Playing the New England Patriots is daunting enough without having to piecemeal a game day roster on a cross country flight .
That ’ s what the Raiders are faced with Sunday in Foxboro , Mass.
, as they attempt to start an NFL season 3-0 for the first time since 2002 .
The Raiders opened that season 4-0 and lost four straight before righting themselves , winning the AFC championship and then losing in the Super Bowl to Jon Gruden ’ s Tampa Bay Buccaneers .
In the here and now , Gruden is a game or two away @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a playoff contender .
Cam Newton is the quarterback instead of Tom Brady , which amazingly enough might be an upgrade .
The coach is still Bill Belichick and the Patriots are 121-23 since Gillette Stadium opened in 2002 , not including 19-4 in the playoffs .
The Raiders are 0-2 there , losing in 2005 and 2014 .
New England is 1-1 , falling 35-30 to Seattle but playing well enough that rampant speculation that this would be the year for someone else to win the AFC East after 11 straight titles @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Raiders are coming off a short week following an emotion-charged 34-24 win over New Orleans Monday night in their first game at Allegiant Stadium , and the physical toll was considerable .
Running back Josh Jacobs ( hip ) and tight end Darren Waller ( knee ) barely practiced all week , the two primary weapons in the attack led by quarterback Derek Carr .
Henry Ruggs III , the speedy rookie first-round draft pick , won ’ t play with a hamstring strain .
Right tackle Trent Brown and linebacker Nick Kwiatkoski @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Gruden isn ’ t sure who will be playing on the offensive line along with left tackle Kolton Miller , center Rodney Hudson and right guard Gabe Jackson .
And the Patriots , as usual under Belchick , are the best in the business at tailoring their strategy to the opponent .
“ He ’ s going to have a plan for you , ” Gruden said .
“ What you saw last week is not probably what you ’ re going to see on game day , so you ’ ve got @ @ @ @ @ @ @ balance that in your own way.
” Five keys for the Raiders as they seek to go 3-0 : Newton had more downfield throws than any quarterback in the NFL against Seattle last week .
And that ’ s what the Raiders want — Newton launching from the pocket .
The longer the ball is in the air , the better the chance to make a play on the ball .
What the Raiders don ’ t want to see is Newton breaking outside , extending plays , turning nothing into something big @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with Brady , but it ’ s a down-by-down dilemma with Newton .
It also gives the Raiders pass rush a chance to get going .
Newton historically has taken a lot of sacks .
He won ’ t be getting rid of the ball as quickly as Teddy Bridgewater or Drew Brees , giving Maxx Crosby and a so-far mediocre pass rush a chance to get home .
Crosby had 10 sacks as a rookie and none through two games .
“ When you have year like that , you ’ re @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that ’ s a good thing , ” Raiders defensive coordinator Paul Guenther said .
“ He ’ s got to keep building .
Don ’ t press .
It ’ s a lot like interceptions .
If you ’ re in the right spot , if you ’ re in the right leverage , you ’ re in the right spot , the right game plan , things will come to you if you just do your job.
” There ’ s no quibbling with eight touchdowns and four field goals in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ wearing out the opposition in the process .
Their average touchdown drive has been nine plays and 72 yards .
Their average field goal drive has been nine plays and 41 yards .
It will be hard to maintain that kind of consistency , so they ’ ll need to mix in some explosive plays .
If they ’ re touchdowns , all the better .
With Ruggs out , that becomes more difficult .
But Jalen Richard has the capability to go the distance , and getting Waller isolated against a smaller @ @ @ @ @ @ @ payout .
Carr can make the throws .
He dropped a 31-yard dime to Foster Moreau that was a thing of beauty against New Orleans in addition to the methodical third-down conversions that keep drives alive .
Give Jacobs a break and score quickly once in awhile .
The Raiders got their first interception in the second quarter of the Saints , courtesy of linebacker Nicholas Morrow .
It led to a field goal .
The surest way to negate a homefield advantage is with turnover margin .
Young corners Trayvon Mullen and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and safeties Erik Harris and Johnatham Abram should have opportunities to make plays .
Linebacker Cory Littleton , who hasn ’ t missed a snap , was renouned as a pass defender and in adjusting from a 3-4 to a 4-3 defense has yet to who the playmaking ability he had with the Rams with an admittedly small sample size .
During his conference call with the New England media , Gruden was asked about the possibility of Patriots cornerback Stephon Gilmore shadowing Waller .
Gruden joked that they ’ ve got to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ up just about everywhere — he ’ s been in tight , flexed outside , in the slot , in the backfield .
He ’ s been put in motion as well , and when you consider the left and right sides , Waller could be in anyone of eight spots .
This isn ’ t Dave Casper , always in the same place and blocking like a tackle before going “ Ghost to the Post.
” New England ’ s Devin McCourty compared Waller to freakishly sized wide receivers such as Calvin @ @ @ @ @ @ @ plays outside in the and the Z .
He does play as a fullback .
He plays as a true tight end , but he ’ s big , he ’ s strong and he can run , ” McCourty said .
“ He brings every challenge you can think of .
It ’ s covering him , it ’ s tackling him , it ’ s knowing where he is and how they might use him.
” Put this number in a time capsule .
The Raiders have the second fewest penalties @ @ @ @ @ @ @ games .
The Patriots have five .
• Raiders will be without Henry Ruggs III against Patriots • Where does the NFL send money after fining 49ers ’ Shanahan , Raiders ’ Gruden over face masks ?
• How Raiders ’ Tom Cable makes plug and play a reality on offensive line • Raiders face more challenges with Patriots ’ Cam Newton than they did with Tom Brady • Inside the Raiders : How players , teams manage a laundry list of injuries in brutal sport The Raiders don ’ t have a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ penalties such as false starts or offsides .
Some of that has to do with not having fans in the stands .
But it ’ s also clear the Raiders have played with heightened discipline .
“ I think it ’ s a credit to the players , ” Gruden said .
“ We ’ ve got guys in here that are really detailed and take pride in not beating themselves .
One of the key ingredients to winning is not beating yourself with penalties .
”

Playing the New England Patriots is daunting enough without having to piecemeal a game day roster on a cross country flight.
That’s what the Raiders are faced with Sunday in Foxboro, Mass., as they attempt to start an NFL season 3-0 for the first time since 2002.
The Raiders opened that season 4-0 and lost four straight before righting themselves, winning the AFC championship and then losing in the Super Bowl to Jon Gruden’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
In other words, ancient history.
In the here and now, Gruden is a game or two away from the Raiders being taken seriously as a playoff contender. Cam Newton is the Patriots’ quarterback instead of Tom Brady, which amazingly enough might be an upgrade. The coach is still Bill Belichick and the Patriots are 121-23 since Gillette Stadium opened in 2002, not including 19-4 in the playoffs. The Raiders are 0-2 there, losing in 2005 and 2014.
New England is 1-1, falling 35-30 to Seattle but playing well enough that rampant speculation that this would be the year for someone else to win the AFC East after 11 straight titles was put on indefinite hold.
The Raiders are coming off a short week following an emotion-charged 34-24 win over New Orleans Monday night in their first game at Allegiant Stadium, and the physical toll was considerable.
Running back Josh Jacobs (hip) and tight end Darren Waller (knee) barely practiced all week, the two primary weapons in the attack led by quarterback Derek Carr. Henry Ruggs III, the speedy rookie first-round draft pick, won’t play with a hamstring strain. Right tackle Trent Brown and linebacker Nick Kwiatkoski will miss their third straight game.
Gruden isn’t sure who will be playing on the offensive line along with left tackle Kolton Miller, center Rodney Hudson and right guard Gabe Jackson.
And the Patriots, as usual under Belichick, are the best in the business at tailoring their strategy to the opponent.
“He’s going to have a plan for you,” Gruden said. “What you saw last week is not probably what you’re going to see on game day, so you’ve got to be able to counter that and balance that in your own way.”
Five keys for the Raiders as they seek to go 3-0:
1. Make Newton throw from the pocket
Newton had more downfield throws than any quarterback in the NFL against Seattle last week. And that’s what the Raiders want — Newton launching from the pocket. The longer the ball is in the air, the better the chance to make a play on the ball.
What the Raiders don’t want to see is Newton breaking outside, extending plays, turning nothing into something big. It wasn’t a concern with Brady, but it’s a down-by-down dilemma with Newton.
It also gives the Raiders’ pass rush a chance to get going. Newton historically has taken a lot of sacks. He won’t be getting rid of the ball as quickly as Teddy Bridgewater or Drew Brees, giving Maxx Crosby and a so-far mediocre pass rush a chance to get home. Crosby had 10 sacks as a rookie and none through two games.
“When you have a year like that, you’re going to show up on tape and that’s a good thing,” Raiders defensive coordinator Paul Guenther said. “He’s got to keep building. Don’t press. It’s a lot like interceptions. If you’re in the right spot, if you’re in the right leverage, you’re in the right spot, the right game plan, things will come to you if you just do your job.”
2. Get explosive on offense
There’s no quibbling with eight touchdowns and four field goals in two games, and the Raiders are wearing out the opposition in the process. Their average touchdown drive has been nine plays and 72 yards. Their average field goal drive has been nine plays and 41 yards.
It will be hard to maintain that kind of consistency, so they’ll need to mix in some explosive plays. If they’re touchdowns, all the better. With Ruggs out, that becomes more difficult. But Jalen Richard has the capability to go the distance, and getting Waller isolated against a smaller defensive back could also be an immediately payout.
Carr can make the throws. He dropped a 31-yard dime to Foster Moreau that was a thing of beauty against New Orleans in addition to the methodical third-down conversions that keep drives alive.
Give Jacobs a break and score quickly once in a while.
3. Takeaways — plural
The Raiders got their first interception in the second quarter against the Saints, courtesy of linebacker Nicholas Morrow. It led to a field goal.
Otherwise, nothing.
The surest way to negate a home-field advantage is with turnover margin. Young corners Trayvon Mullen and Damon Arnette, slot corner Lamarcus Joyner and safeties Erik Harris and Johnathan Abram should have opportunities to make plays.
Linebacker Cory Littleton, who hasn’t missed a snap, was renowned as a pass defender and in adjusting from a 3-4 to a 4-3 defense has yet to show the playmaking ability he had with the Rams with an admittedly small sample size.
4. Where’s Waller?
During his conference call with the New England media, Gruden was asked about the possibility of Patriots cornerback Stephon Gilmore shadowing Waller. Gruden joked that they’ve got to find him first.
Waller has lined up just about everywhere — he’s been in tight, flexed outside, in the slot, in the backfield. He’s been put in motion as well, and when you consider the left and right sides, Waller could be in any one of eight spots. This isn’t Dave Casper, always in the same place and blocking like a tackle before going “Ghost to the Post.”
New England’s Devin McCourty compared Waller to freakishly sized wide receivers such as Calvin Johnson and Brandon Marshall.
“He plays outside in the and the Z. He does play as a fullback. He plays as a true tight end, but he’s big, he’s strong and he can run,” McCourty said. “He brings every challenge you can think of. It’s covering him, it’s tackling him, it’s knowing where he is and how they might use him.”
5. Penalty poopers
Put this number in a time capsule. The Raiders have the second-fewest penalties in the NFL with six through two games. The Patriots have five.
The Raiders don’t have a single offensive holding penalty and no pre-snap penalties such as false starts or offsides. Some of that has to do with not having fans in the stands. But it’s also clear the Raiders have played with heightened discipline.
“I think it’s a credit to the players,” Gruden said. “We’ve got guys in here that are really detailed and take pride in not beating themselves. One of the key ingredients to winning is not beating yourself with penalties.”


mercurynews--2020-09-26--Horoscopes Sept. 26, 2020: Serena Williams, it’s time to turn your ideas and promises into something

Horoscopes Sept. 26, 2020: Serena Williams, it’s time to turn your ideas and promises into something concrete

Happy Birthday : Look for alternatives when faced with opposition , and you will persuade others to see things your way .
You are heading into a period of opportunity and positive changes if you aren ’ t afraid to take a chance .
It ’ s time to turn your ideas and promises into something concrete .
Step up , make decisions and control your destiny .
Your numbers are 3 , 10 , 18 , 26 , 35 , 42 , 47 .
ARIES ( March 21-April 19 ) : Discussions will stir up emotions .
Keep your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ better sense of what everyone else is thinking .
Make personal improvements , health and fitness priorities .
Moderation will help you avoid making a mistake .
4 stars TAURUS ( April 20-May 20 ) : Impulsive action will push you in a direction you didn ’ t anticipate .
Slow down and plan your moves .
Too much too fast will put you in a precarious situation .
A stubborn attitude will not help you gain respect or support .
2 stars GEMINI ( May 21-June 20 ) : If you want @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you promise , and move on to interests that will bring you peace and happiness .
Home and personal improvements are favored , and love and romance will lead to a greater understanding with someone you cherish .
5 stars CANCER ( June 21-July 22 ) : Change won ’ t come easy .
An opportunity may appear to be crystal clear , but as you move forward , you will discover obstacles that need addressing first .
Question your motives and if the consequence of your action is worthwhile .
3 stars @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Refuse to let something trivial turn into an argument .
Listen , compromise and keep the peace to avoid an outcome that will ruin your day .
Let others do as they please , and you ’ ll be offered the same in return .
Romance is favored .
3 stars VIRGO ( Aug. 23-Sept. 22 ) : Look at a situation you face from different angles .
Having a broader view of what ’ s happening will lead to alternative measures that favor everyone .
Be the mediator , not the one @ @ @ @ @ @ @ lead to a new beginning .
3 stars LIBRA ( Sept. 23-Oct. 22 ) : An adjustment will lead to an unexpected turn of events .
Trust your instincts , and do what feels right .
Personal improvements will make you feel good and result in compliments from someone you admire .
A relationship looks promising .
5 stars SCORPIO ( Oct. 23-Nov. 21 ) : Be careful what you wish for ; emotional issues will not be as they appear .
Gather facts .
When in doubt , ask questions .
Don @ @ @ @ @ @ @ prevails .
Observation is your best bet until your vision is crystal clear .
2 stars SAGITTARIUS ( Nov. 22-Dec. 21 ) : Your experience will come in handy when dealing with individuals who aren ’ t reliable .
Remove yourself from risky situations , and concentrate on physical improvement , fitness , health and the pastimes that bring you comfort and joy .
Romance is on the rise .
4 stars CAPRICORN ( Dec. 22-Jan. 19 ) : Get approval before you make a change that will affect others .
A discussion @ @ @ @ @ @ @ issues that will cause concern and anger but , in the end , will be what saves you from making a mistake you regret .
3 stars AQUARIUS ( Jan. 20-Feb. 18 ) : Make financial deals along with investments and contractual agreements .
Focus on personal partnerships , and you ’ ll come up with a workable solution to any problems you face .
Togetherness can be achieved with a little tender loving care .
3 stars PISCES ( Feb. 19-March 20 ) : A change will end up being in your @ @ @ @ @ @ @ secrets that could interfere with what you are trying to achieve .
Slow down , and refuse to let anyone back you into a corner .
Take control instead of being manipulated .
3 stars Birthday Baby : You are dedicated , ambitious and charming .
You are intelligent and forceful .

CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: Christina Milian, 39; Serena Williams, 39; Jim Caviezel, 52; Olivia Newton-John, 72.
Happy Birthday: Look for alternatives when faced with opposition, and you will persuade others to see things your way. You are heading into a period of opportunity and positive changes if you aren’t afraid to take a chance. It’s time to turn your ideas and promises into something concrete. Step up, make decisions and control your destiny. Your numbers are 3, 10, 18, 26, 35, 42, 47.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Discussions will stir up emotions. Keep your opinions to yourself until you get a better sense of what everyone else is thinking. Make personal improvements, health and fitness priorities. Moderation will help you avoid making a mistake. 4 stars
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Impulsive action will push you in a direction you didn’t anticipate. Slow down and plan your moves. Too much too fast will put you in a precarious situation. A stubborn attitude will not help you gain respect or support. 2 stars
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If you want something, take action. Deliver what you promise, and move on to interests that will bring you peace and happiness. Home and personal improvements are favored, and love and romance will lead to a greater understanding with someone you cherish. 5 stars
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Change won’t come easy. An opportunity may appear to be crystal clear, but as you move forward, you will discover obstacles that need addressing first. Question your motives and if the consequence of your action is worthwhile. 3 stars
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Refuse to let something trivial turn into an argument. Listen, compromise and keep the peace to avoid an outcome that will ruin your day. Let others do as they please, and you’ll be offered the same in return. Romance is favored. 3 stars
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Look at a situation you face from different angles. Having a broader view of what’s happening will lead to alternative measures that favor everyone. Be the mediator, not the one stirring up trouble. A change will lead to a new beginning. 3 stars
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): An adjustment will lead to an unexpected turn of events. Trust your instincts, and do what feels right. Personal improvements will make you feel good and result in compliments from someone you admire. A relationship looks promising. 5 stars
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Be careful what you wish for; emotional issues will not be as they appear. Gather facts. When in doubt, ask questions. Don’t make a move if uncertainty prevails. Observation is your best bet until your vision is crystal clear. 2 stars
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your experience will come in handy when dealing with individuals who aren’t reliable. Remove yourself from risky situations, and concentrate on physical improvement, fitness, health and the pastimes that bring you comfort and joy. Romance is on the rise. 4 stars
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Get approval before you make a change that will affect others. A discussion with a friend or relative will raise issues that will cause concern and anger but, in the end, will be what saves you from making a mistake you regret. 3 stars
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Make financial deals along with investments and contractual agreements. Focus on personal partnerships, and you’ll come up with a workable solution to any problems you face. Togetherness can be achieved with a little tender loving care. 3 stars
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A change will end up being in your favor if you don’t reveal secrets that could interfere with what you are trying to achieve. Slow down, and refuse to let anyone back you into a corner. Take control instead of being manipulated. 3 stars
Birthday Baby: You are dedicated, ambitious and charming. You are intelligent and forceful.
Visit Eugenialast.com, or join Eugenia on Twitter/Facebook/LinkedIn.


Bridge: Sept. 26, 2020

Suppose I offer to bet you a dollar that I can pick a card at random from the deck , and it will be a ten or lower .
I hope you would decline to bet .
But players sometimes accept worse odds in handling individual suit combinations as declarer .
In today ’ s deal , South restrained himself and stopped at four hearts with his mammoth hand .
He won West ’ s trump opening lead , drew trumps and attacked the spades by cashing the ace and leading the four .
Alas , East won with the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
South won and led another low spade , but West took the jack and king , and South also lost a diamond for down one .
South made a bad bet in spades .
After he takes the ace , he should lead the queen .
South ’ s actual play would gain if either defender had started with K-x , but the winning play gains twice as often : when either defender holds J-x or 10-x .
Be careful how you bet .
You hold : S K J 7 2 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 4 C A Q 3 .
The dealer , at your left , opens three diamonds .
Your partner doubles , and the next player passes .
What do you say ?
ANSWER : Your partner ’ s double is for takeout , and since it obliges you to respond at the three level , he has a hand worth at least 17 points .
You have 10 good points , so you must commit to game , but you need to locate your best trump fit .
Cue-bid four diamonds to let @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 2 C Pass 2 D Pass 2 H Pass 3 C Pass 3 S Pass 4 H All Pass

“Simple Saturday” columns focus on basic technique and encourage logical thinking.
Suppose I offer to bet you a dollar that I can pick a card at random from the deck, and it will be a ten or lower. I hope you would decline to bet. But players sometimes accept worse odds in handling individual suit combinations as declarer.
In today’s deal, South restrained himself and stopped at four hearts with his mammoth hand. He won West’s trump opening lead, drew trumps and attacked the spades by cashing the ace and leading the four.
DOWN ONE
Alas, East won with the ten and led the queen of diamonds. South won and led another low spade, but West took the jack and king, and South also lost a diamond for down one.
South made a bad bet in spades. After he takes the ace, he should lead the queen. South’s actual play would gain if either defender had started with K-x, but the winning play gains twice as often: when either defender holds J-x or 10-x.
Be careful how you bet.
DAILY QUESTION
You hold: S K J 7 2 H 5 4 3 2 D 10 4 C A Q 3. The dealer, at your left, opens three diamonds. Your partner doubles, and the next player passes. What do you say?
ANSWER: Your partner’s double is for takeout, and since it obliges you to respond at the three level, he has a hand worth at least 17 points. You have 10 good points, so you must commit to game, but you need to locate your best trump fit. Cue-bid four diamonds to let partner choose.
South dealer
N-S vulnerable
NORTH
S 9 6 5
H 7 6
D 9 7 2
C K J 10 9 2
WEST
S K J 7 2
H 5 4 3 2
D 10 4
C A Q 3
EAST
S 10 3
H 9
D Q J 8 6 5
C 8 7 6 5 4
SOUTH
S A Q 8 4
H A K Q J 10 8
D A K 3
C None
South West North East
2 C Pass 2 D Pass
2 H Pass 3 C Pass
3 S Pass 4 H All Pass
Opening lead — H 2
(C)2020 TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.


mercurynews--2020-09-26--Word Game: Sept. 26, 2020

Word Game: Sept. 26, 2020

Can you find 48 or more words in ROUTINE ?
The list will be published Monday .
To purchase the @ @ @ @ @ WordGameBooks.com .
Order it now for just $ 5 while supplies last !
1 .
@ @ @ @ @ or more letters .
2 .
Words that acquire four letters by the addition of @ @ @ @ @ as “ bats ” or “ dies , ” are not allowed .
3 .
@ @ @ @ @ a “ d ” or an “ s ” may not be used .
For @ @ @ @ @ ” is used , “ baked ” or “ bakes ” are not allowed , @ @ @ @ @ “ baking ” are admissible .
4 .
Proper nouns , slang words , or @ @ @ @ @ are not allowed .

TODAY’S WORD — ROUTINE (ROUTINE: roo-TEEN: A standard procedure.)
Average mark 33 words
Time limit 45 minutes
Can you find 48 or more words in ROUTINE? The list will be published Monday.
YESTERDAY’S WORD — INSATIATE inset instate neat nest nisei saint sane sanitate
sate satiate satin seat sent sine site snit stain stat state statin stein stent stet stint
anise ante anti attain taint taste teat tent test tine tinea tiniest tint tisane titan titian east
To purchase the Word Game book, visit WordGameBooks.com. Order it now for just $5 while supplies last!
RULES OF THE GAME:
1. Words must be of four or more letters.
2. Words that acquire four letters by the addition of “s,” such as “bats” or “dies,” are not allowed.
3. Additional words made by adding a “d” or an “s” may not be used. For example, if “bake” is used, “baked” or “bakes” are not allowed, but “bake” and “baking” are admissible.
4. Proper nouns, slang words, or vulgar or sexually explicit words are not allowed.
Contact Word Game creator Kathleen Saxe at kzsaxe@gmail.com.


mercurynews--2020-09-26--Ask Amy: I thought he was a good guy until he sent horrible texts about my sister

Dear Amy : I have a sister in her 30s , who has been married for a few years to a man that my family and I thought very highly of — until recently , when his true colors came out .
A few months ago , he and my sister had an argument , and he sent a text to our entire family saying horrible and vulgar things about her .
This was just the beginning .
As it turns out he is very controlling ( telling her whom she can and can not speak to at work ) @ @ @ @ @ @ @ front of their children .
He makes her feel like everything she does is wrong .
She was always such a self-assured young woman .
It breaks my heart to see her going through this and questioning herself .
She even said to me recently that his actions make her wonder if she deserves to be treated badly .
That made me so sad for her .
I reassured her that no one deserves to be treated this way !
I went through this for far too long with my ex-husband , so @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with , and yet I don ’ t know what to do for her or what to tell her .
She ’ s not to the point of wanting to leave yet .
She says she still loves him .
I know it might take time ( like it did for me ) to see the light .
• Ask Amy : After this foolish party , she texted me a one-word kiss-off • Ask Amy : Our friends perform borderline sex acts in public , and it ’ s gross • Ask @ @ @ @ @ @ @ because of my money • Ask Amy : My wife made a plan I didn ’ t like , so I took the car and left .
Was I wrong ?
• Ask Amy : I don ’ t know how to deal with my son ’ s degrading behavior What can I do for her in the meantime ?
Dear Sister : You have insight into this sad situation because you experienced it , yourself , and so you should treat your sister the way you wish you had been treated by @ @ @ @ @ @ @ felt when you were in her shoes , and behave with empathy , compassion , patience , and understanding .
People in abusive partner relationships have many competing agendas , including worrying about their children , economic pressure , feeling repressed , intimidated , frightened , and alone .
They also risk being harshly judged for staying in the relationship .
Leaving an abusive relationship is also often a very dangerous flashpoint .
Don ’ t lecture your sister , or issue ultimatums .
Tell her , “ I love you , I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ yourself , and I am here to help you and the kids whenever you need it .
I ’ m on your side forever , and I ’ m not leaving.
” Do not focus too much on her husband and his behavior ( she may become defensive ) but keep the focus consistently on her .
Dear Amy : I believe I ’ m in love with a man who enjoys having sex with both men and women .
He says I ’ m enough for him , and that he wants @ @ @ @ @ @ @ keep catching him sneaking and hiding his phone .
I wonder if I should walk away and stop waiting for him .
We ’ ve been together for over two years , and he said he loves me — but I wonder if it ’ s worth it .
Dear Wondering : Sneaking and hiding a cellphone is a pretty obvious indication that your guy is , well , sneaking and hiding something .
You could start by asking him what is on his phone that he doesn ’ t want you to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , you ’ ve probably heard the expression : “ The heart wants what it wants.
” There is no question about that .
However , after over two years in a relationship , you need to consider the impact of another organ : your brain .
You probably know by now that your guy isn ’ t a good bet for marriage .
At this point , you need to decide on and time your departure .
Now or later — it ’ s up to you .
Dear Amy : Thank @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Upset Wife , ” who felt her husband should stop calling his siblings until they reciprocated .
I would add that it is not her ( or her husband ’ s ) job to make them better siblings .
It is his job to be the best brother he can be , and it seems he is succeeding in this .
Peace of mind and heart came for me when I accepted the fact that if people could do better , they would do better .
It was only important that I do @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the action or inaction of others .
To paraphrase St. Francis : Seek to love rather than be loved , to understand rather than be understood , and to forgive rather than to be forgiven .
Dear Grateful : The wisdom you ’ ve shared provides a key which I believe unlocks the door to healthier relationships , as well as true personal contentment .
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy @ amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy , P.O .
Box 194 , Freeville , NY 13068 .
You @ @ @ @ @ @ @ askingamy or Facebook .

Dear Amy: I have a sister in her 30s, who has been married for a few years to a man that my family and I thought very highly of — until recently, when his true colors came out.
A few months ago, he and my sister had an argument, and he sent a text to our entire family saying horrible and vulgar things about her.
This was just the beginning. As it turns out he is very controlling (telling her whom she can and cannot speak to at work). He treats her with disrespect in front of their children. He makes her feel like everything she does is wrong.
She was always such a self-assured young woman. It breaks my heart to see her going through this and questioning herself. She even said to me recently that his actions make her wonder if she deserves to be treated badly. That made me so sad for her. I reassured her that no one deserves to be treated this way!
I went through this for far too long with my ex-husband, so I know exactly what she is dealing with, and yet I don’t know what to do for her or what to tell her.
She’s not to the point of wanting to leave yet. She says she still loves him. I know it might take time (like it did for me) to see the light.
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Heavy-Hearted Sister
Dear Sister: You have insight into this sad situation because you experienced it, yourself, and so you should treat your sister the way you wish you had been treated by concerned family members.
Remember how you felt when you were in her shoes, and behave with empathy, compassion, patience, and understanding.
People in abusive partner relationships have many competing agendas, including worrying about their children, economic pressure, feeling repressed, intimidated, frightened, and alone. They also risk being harshly judged for staying in the relationship.
Leaving an abusive relationship is also often a very dangerous flashpoint.
Don’t lecture your sister, or issue ultimatums. Tell her, “I love you, I’m worried that you are losing yourself, and I am here to help you and the kids whenever you need it. I’m on your side forever, and I’m not leaving.” Do not focus too much on her husband and his behavior (she may become defensive) but keep the focus consistently on her.
Dear Amy: I believe I’m in love with a man who enjoys having sex with both men and women.
He says I’m enough for him, and that he wants to get married, eventually.
I keep catching him sneaking and hiding his phone.
I wonder if I should walk away and stop waiting for him. We’ve been together for over two years, and he said he loves me — but I wonder if it’s worth it.
Wondering
Dear Wondering: Sneaking and hiding a cellphone is a pretty obvious indication that your guy is, well, sneaking and hiding something.
You could start by asking him what is on his phone that he doesn’t want you to see.
Regarding you and your feelings, you’ve probably heard the expression: “The heart wants what it wants.” There is no question about that. However, after over two years in a relationship, you need to consider the impact of another organ: your brain.
You probably know by now that your guy isn’t a good bet for marriage. At this point, you need to decide on and time your departure. Now or later — it’s up to you.
Dear Amy: Thank you for your thoughtful reply to “Upset Wife,” who felt her husband should stop calling his siblings until they reciprocated.
I would add that it is not her (or her husband’s) job to make them better siblings. It is his job to be the best brother he can be, and it seems he is succeeding in this.
Peace of mind and heart came for me when I accepted the fact that if people could do better, they would do better. It was only important that I do the best I could, regardless of the action or inaction of others.
To paraphrase St. Francis: Seek to love rather than be loved, to understand rather than be understood, and to forgive rather than to be forgiven.
Amen!
Grateful for No Regrets
Dear Grateful: The wisdom you’ve shared provides a key which I believe unlocks the door to healthier relationships, as well as true personal contentment.
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.


mercurynews--2020-09-26--Harriette Cole: My boyfriend says one of us has to get rid of a dog

DEAR HARRIETTE : My boyfriend and I just moved in together about three months ago with each of our dogs .
We have brought our dogs together for playdates before , and they were always playful .
Since we have moved in , and they are together all the time , they are fighting and terrorizing our household .
We have tried to keep them separate , but it ’ s becoming an inconvenient task to make sure they never see or hear each other , which is quite impossible .
They bark and go after each other every chance @ @ @ @ @ @ @ think we have to get rid of one of the dogs , but how do we begin to even make that decision ?
I know I do not want to give away my dog and I couldn ’ t expect him to either .
Where do we go from here ?
DEAR FEUDING DOGS : I recommend that you two invest in a dog trainer who can take your dogs for a period of time and help them to get acclimated to each other .
Trainers can often teach dogs how to behave @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for owners .
The trainer can also come to your home and work with the dogs there to see if you can reach peace in the household .
As far as letting one of your dogs go , that is virtually an impossible decision , certainly not one that I can make for you .
If you end up believing that your household can not survive both dogs together , you may need to find homes for both of them and start over again .
Obviously , that would require very carefully finding @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that they can prosper .
Consider that a last resort .
• Harriette Cole : This is not the workplace reputation I want .
How can I undo it ?
• Harriette Cole : I make a lot of money online .
My boyfriend wants me to stop .
• Harriette Cole : He has to have surgery , and his wife is furious • Harriette Cole : It was creepy how she watched my husband and me • Harriette Cole : Why do people get so mad when I talk to them @ @ @ @ @ @ @ am an assistant manager at my store , with only two other associates .
We do not have a store manager at the moment , so it is just us three .
One of my co-workers does not respect my role in our store .
While working the floor , he tells people that he ’ s “ basically ” a manager because he handles things when I am not around .
When I am around , he constantly makes the wrong decisions and repeats the same mistakes .
When he digs himself @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fix because he doesn ’ t have proper credentials and his customer is now angry , he has to interrupt my customer and me to mend the relationship with his customer and compensate them for the confusion .
This co-worker doesn ’ t listen to my directions when I train or correct him .
I am at my limit with this employee .
I don ’ t know what actions to take or how to inform my district manager .
Any suggestions ?
DEAR FED UP : In your engagement with this employee @ @ @ @ @ @ @ him of how you work with customers .
Point out that when he has a problem , he must be discreet when he brings it to you , especially if you are working with another customer .
Do your best to teach him even if he doesn ’ t want to learn .
When you do get a new manager , privately mention your concerns .
Ask for help in being able to do your job and guide this employee .
Approach the situation clearly and matter-of-factly .
Be strong in your role @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to help you with solutions .
This shows your desire to cultivate your leadership skills .
If you get resistance from your manager , only then lodge your complaint with the district manager , making it clear that you are looking for guidance and are not trying to be a tattletale .
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS , an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams .
You can send questions to askharriette @ harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication , 1130 Walnut St. , Kansas City @ @ @ @

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I just moved in together about three months ago with each of our dogs. We have brought our dogs together for playdates before, and they were always playful. Since we have moved in, and they are together all the time, they are fighting and terrorizing our household.
We have tried to keep them separate, but it’s becoming an inconvenient task to make sure they never see or hear each other, which is quite impossible. They bark and go after each other every chance they get.
My boyfriend seems to think we have to get rid of one of the dogs, but how do we begin to even make that decision? I know I do not want to give away my dog and I couldn’t expect him to either. Where do we go from here?
Feuding Dogs
DEAR FEUDING DOGS: I recommend that you two invest in a dog trainer who can take your dogs for a period of time and help them to get acclimated to each other. Trainers can often teach dogs how to behave in a way that can be challenging for owners. The trainer can also come to your home and work with the dogs there to see if you can reach peace in the household.
As far as letting one of your dogs go, that is virtually an impossible decision, certainly not one that I can make for you. If you end up believing that your household cannot survive both dogs together, you may need to find homes for both of them and start over again. Obviously, that would require very carefully finding the right home for each, so that they can prosper. Consider that a last resort.
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Harriette Cole: I’m ashamed to tell people I forgave my childhood friend Advice | Harriette Cole: I’ve worked hard, and my poor siblings resent my success DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an assistant manager at my store, with only two other associates. We do not have a store manager at the moment, so it is just us three.
One of my co-workers does not respect my role in our store. While working the floor, he tells people that he’s “basically” a manager because he handles things when I am not around. When I am around, he constantly makes the wrong decisions and repeats the same mistakes. When he digs himself into a hole that he cannot fix because he doesn’t have proper credentials and his customer is now angry, he has to interrupt my customer and me to mend the relationship with his customer and compensate them for the confusion.
This co-worker doesn’t listen to my directions when I train or correct him. I am at my limit with this employee. I don’t know what actions to take or how to inform my district manager. Any suggestions?
Fed Up
DEAR FED UP: In your engagement with this employee, take the educational approach. Remind him of how you work with customers. Point out that when he has a problem, he must be discreet when he brings it to you, especially if you are working with another customer. Do your best to teach him even if he doesn’t want to learn.
When you do get a new manager, privately mention your concerns. Ask for help in being able to do your job and guide this employee.
Approach the situation clearly and matter-of-factly. Be strong in your role as assistant manager and ask your manager to help you with solutions. This shows your desire to cultivate your leadership skills.
If you get resistance from your manager, only then lodge your complaint with the district manager, making it clear that you are looking for guidance and are not trying to be a tattletale.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


mercurynews--2020-09-26--Miss Manners: My aunt has held a grudge against me for years. Was I out of line?

DEAR MISS MANNERS : I am not very close to my cousin , so I wasn ’ t surprised when I was not invited to any of her wedding festivities several years ago .
It was an intimate destination wedding and announcements were not sent out .
I mailed the couple a card with a note of congratulations and called my cousin , duties complete .
My aunt recently called out of the blue to tell me that she has held resentment toward me for neglecting to send the couple a wedding gift .
She said that because I knew @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and penny-pinching of me not to send something with my card .
There have been countless weddings over the years that I have known about but did not receive an announcement/invitation for .
Is it appropriate to only send a card ?
Or have I been stingy , and owe all of these people a note of apology ?
• Miss Manners : I gave my friend a gift , and I ’ m not happy that his wife used it • Miss Manners : I didn ’ t mean to imply he @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Miss Manners : The boss yelled at me when I walked out on his big meeting • Miss Manners : Yes , the day after the funeral is too soon to ask • Miss Manners : I don ’ t know why my friend is snubbing me on social media GENTLE READER : Social media has made it possible to tally the many events to which one is not included , but you need not endure double insult by providing payment for the privilege of being snubbed .
Miss Manners assures you that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ very best wishes , which you sent .
DEAR MISS MANNERS : Is there a protocol that should be followed when new neighbors move in , either for the new residents or the old ones ?
Is one party responsible for going over and introducing themselves ?
GENTLE READER : Typically the established residents are the ones to initiate contact , but Miss Manners thinks that “ whoever gets there first ” also works .
The real point of the neighborly introduction is to provide reasonable assurance that neither party will be a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ includes a warm welcome and a platter of baked goods is therefore infinitely preferable to a noisy party or lawnmower .
DEAR MISS MANNERS : I have a lovely friend with a terrible habit : She talks with her mouth full .
It makes dining with her unpleasant , and I feel increasingly resentful during our meals together .
Not dining together is not an option , as she travels with our family at least twice a year .
I know it is impolite to correct another ’ s manners , and I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ realized she is doing this .
Does Miss Manners have a suggestion as to something I can say that would not directly state she is making me sick at mealtime ?
GENTLE READER : “ How rude of me to bombard you with conversation while you are trying to eat .
I can certainly wait to ask you questions until you are done chewing.
” And then Miss Manners suggests that you pause for as long as it takes to make your point .
DEAR MISS MANNERS : Am I the only one @ @ @ @ @ @ @ when people really mean “ invitations ” ?
I hear the term and see it in print very frequently , but it does not appear correct to me .
GENTLE READER : It is not .
“ Invite ” may be commonly used colloquially as a noun — but not , you will notice , by Miss Manners .
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website , www.missmanners.com ; to her email , dearmissmanners @ gmail.com ; or through postal mail to Miss Manners , Andrews McMeel Syndication , 1130 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 64106 .

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am not very close to my cousin, so I wasn’t surprised when I was not invited to any of her wedding festivities several years ago.
It was an intimate destination wedding and announcements were not sent out. I mailed the couple a card with a note of congratulations and called my cousin, duties complete.
My aunt recently called out of the blue to tell me that she has held resentment toward me for neglecting to send the couple a wedding gift. She said that because I knew about the wedding, it was rude and penny-pinching of me not to send something with my card.
There have been countless weddings over the years that I have known about but did not receive an announcement/invitation for. Is it appropriate to only send a card? Or have I been stingy, and owe all of these people a note of apology?
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Miss Manners: She wants to turn our music festival into a get-drunk weekend Advice | Miss Manners: My rule is no gift for a second wedding, no attendance for a third GENTLE READER: Social media has made it possible to tally the many events to which one is not included, but you need not endure double insult by providing payment for the privilege of being snubbed. Miss Manners assures you that you owed this cousin nothing beyond your very best wishes, which you sent.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a protocol that should be followed when new neighbors move in, either for the new residents or the old ones? Is one party responsible for going over and introducing themselves?
GENTLE READER: Typically the established residents are the ones to initiate contact, but Miss Manners thinks that “whoever gets there first” also works.
The real point of the neighborly introduction is to provide reasonable assurance that neither party will be a future nuisance. A first impression that includes a warm welcome and a platter of baked goods is therefore infinitely preferable to a noisy party or lawnmower.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a lovely friend with a terrible habit: She talks with her mouth full. It makes dining with her unpleasant, and I feel increasingly resentful during our meals together. Not dining together is not an option, as she travels with our family at least twice a year.
I know it is impolite to correct another’s manners, and I believe she would be mortified if she realized she is doing this. Does Miss Manners have a suggestion as to something I can say that would not directly state she is making me sick at mealtime?
GENTLE READER: “How rude of me to bombard you with conversation while you are trying to eat. I can certainly wait to ask you questions until you are done chewing.” And then Miss Manners suggests that you pause for as long as it takes to make your point.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Am I the only one bothered by the term “invites” when people really mean “invitations”? I hear the term and see it in print very frequently, but it does not appear correct to me.
GENTLE READER: It is not. “Invite” may be commonly used colloquially as a noun — but not, you will notice, by Miss Manners.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


mercurynews--2020-09-27--Police investigate homicide at Berkeley home after shooting call

BERKELEY — Homicide detectives are investigating the death of a man at a Berkeley hills home after a shooting was @ @ @ @ @ according to police and witnesses .
Police were called just after 4 p.m. to a @ @ @ @ @ of Glen Avenue , north of the Berkeley Rose Garden , Sgt .
Craig Lindenau @ @ @ @ @ that a shooting had been reported , but Lindenau declined to confirm any cause of @ @ @ @ @ people were escorted from the home — which was cordoned off by police tape — @ @ @ @ @ said they were not under arrest .
Additional details were not immediately available Saturday afternoon @ @ @ @ @ to be on scene for most of Saturday evening .
Anyone with information about the @ @ @ @ @ police homicide detail at 510-981-5741 , or police dispatch at 510-981-5900 , and reference case @ @

CLICK HERE if you’re viewing on a mobile device.
BERKELEY — Homicide detectives are investigating the death of a man at a Berkeley hills home after a shooting was reported there Saturday afternoon, according to police and witnesses.
Police were called just after 4 p.m. to a home in the 1100 block of Glen Avenue, north of the Berkeley Rose Garden, Sgt. Craig Lindenau said. Dispatch logs indicate that a shooting had been reported, but Lindenau declined to confirm any cause of death.
At least three people were escorted from the home — which was cordoned off by police tape — for questioning, but police said they were not under arrest.
Additional details were not immediately available Saturday afternoon. Berkeley police were expected to be on scene for most of Saturday evening.
Anyone with information about the incident can contact the Berkeley police homicide detail at 510-981-5741, or police dispatch at 510-981-5900, and reference case 2020-44589.


mercurynews--2020-09-27--Why Mike Yastrzemski was the perfect choice for 2020 Willie Mac Award

SAN FRANCISCO — When Giants president of baseball operations Farhan Zaidi and manager Gabe Kapler expressed their goals for the 2020 season , one of the greatest hopes the duo had was for an inexperienced outfielder to prove he could be a reliable , everyday major league player .
Mike Yastrzemski didn ’ t take long to exceed those expectations .
The Giants ’ 2020 Willie Mac Award winner became the face of the club as the second-year outfielder willed the team into contention for a postseason berth .
Yastrzemski received the award on the field from teammate and 2016 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and the Giants played a video message that featured words of congratulations from his mother , Anne Marie , his wife , Paige , and teammate Buster Posey .
“ I know the namesake of the award would be happy with you winning it , ” Posey said .
It seemed the award — which is presented annually to the Giants ’ most inspirational player — was destined to end up in Yastrzemski ’ s hands after he built upon a phenomenal rookie season in 2019 to become an early National League MVP @ @ @ @ @ @ @ incredible , ” Yastrzemski said .
“ There was a time two years ago where I had a talk with my wife and was almost ready to hang up .
Farhan gave me a chance to come over here and I ’ m so thankful to him for giving me an opportunity to be a part of this organization and this team .
It changed my life.
” A dropoff in his second-half numbers coupled with a right calf injury that kept him out of the Giants ’ starting lineup for seven straight @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the MVP , but the Willie Mac Award solidifies what he meant to the 2020 Giants .
A player who spent parts of seven seasons in the Baltimore Orioles organization seemingly came out of nowhere to lead the Giants with 21 home runs as a rookie in 2019 , but there was a question as to whether he could sustain his excellence moving forward .
Unlike many of the game ’ s other budding stars including 22-year-old Braves slugger Ronald Acuña , Jr. , 21-year-old Nationals phenom Juan Soto and 21-year-old Padres shortstop @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Yastrzemski is much older than players emerging as franchise pillars for their respective clubs .
Yastrzemski ’ s teammates and coaches have consistently marveled at his determination and persistence , leaving little doubt he would win the 2020 Willie Mac Award in a year where the Giants had a number of worthy candidates .
“ That ’ s the most important thing about this , it comes from the guys that mean the most , ” Yastrzemski said .
“ From the teammates , the staff , everybody that makes this organization work @ @ @ @ @ @ @ world to me.
” Fellow outfielder Alex Dickerson , shortstop Crawford and first baseman Brandon Belt all enjoyed career years and are well-regarded as leaders in the Giants ’ clubhouse , but Yastrzemski was the everyday catalyst who carried the Giants out of an 8-16 hole to start the season and the player whose knack for clutch , two-strike hits made him the frontman for a team that ’ s become defined by its resilience .
• How the SF Giants can clinch a playoff spot on Saturday or Sunday • Why the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ERA in their biggest inning in four years • SF Giants lose on a walk-off at home to Padres , miss opportunity to inch closer to playoff berth • Mike Yastrzemski returns with a bang , Giants stay in control of their own destiny in NL wild card race There ’ s no telling how Yastrzemski ’ s career would have ended up if Zaidi hadn ’ t gone searching for left-handed outfield depth for the Giants ’ Triple-A affiliate at the end of spring training in 2019 .
But a trade that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the Orioles changed the trajectory of Yastrzemski ’ s life in baseball and gave the Giants a building block who is setting the tone for a new era in the franchise ’ s history .

SAN FRANCISCO — When Giants president of baseball operations Farhan Zaidi and manager Gabe Kapler expressed their goals for the 2020 season, one of the greatest hopes the duo had was for an inexperienced outfielder to prove he could be a reliable, everyday major league player.
Mike Yastrzemski didn’t take long to exceed those expectations. The Giants’ 2020 Willie Mac Award winner became the face of the club as the second-year outfielder willed the team into contention for a postseason berth.
Yastrzemski received the award on the field from teammate and 2016 Willie Mac Award winner Brandon Crawford, and the Giants played a video message that featured words of congratulations from his mother, Anne Marie, his wife, Paige, and teammate Buster Posey.
“I know the namesake of the award would be happy with you winning it,” Posey said.
It seemed the award — which is presented annually to the Giants’ most inspirational player — was destined to end up in Yastrzemski’s hands after he built upon a phenomenal rookie season in 2019 to become an early National League MVP candidate.
“It’s been incredible,” Yastrzemski said. “There was a time two years ago where I had a talk with my wife and was almost ready to hang up. Farhan gave me a chance to come over here and I’m so thankful to him for giving me an opportunity to be a part of this organization and this team. It changed my life.”
A dropoff in his second-half numbers coupled with a right calf injury that kept him out of the Giants’ starting lineup for seven straight days robbed Yastrzemski of a chance at the MVP, but the Willie Mac Award solidifies what he meant to the 2020 Giants.
A player who spent parts of seven seasons in the Baltimore Orioles organization seemingly came out of nowhere to lead the Giants with 21 home runs as a rookie in 2019, but there was a question as to whether he could sustain his excellence moving forward.
Unlike many of the game’s other budding stars including 22-year-old Braves slugger Ronald Acuña, Jr., 21-year-old Nationals phenom Juan Soto and 21-year-old Padres shortstop Fernando Tatis, Jr., the 30-year-old Yastrzemski is much older than players emerging as franchise pillars for their respective clubs.
Yastrzemski’s teammates and coaches have consistently marveled at his determination and persistence, leaving little doubt he would win the 2020 Willie Mac Award in a year where the Giants had a number of worthy candidates.
“That’s the most important thing about this, it comes from the guys that mean the most,” Yastrzemski said. “From the teammates, the staff, everybody that makes this organization work votes on this and it means the world to me.”
Fellow outfielder Alex Dickerson, shortstop Crawford and first baseman Brandon Belt all enjoyed career years and are well-regarded as leaders in the Giants’ clubhouse, but Yastrzemski was the everyday catalyst who carried the Giants out of an 8-16 hole to start the season and the player whose knack for clutch, two-strike hits made him the frontman for a team that’s become defined by its resilience.
There’s no telling how Yastrzemski’s career would have ended up if Zaidi hadn’t gone searching for left-handed outfield depth for the Giants’ Triple-A affiliate at the end of spring training in 2019. But a trade that sent minor league pitcher Tyler Herb to the Orioles changed the trajectory of Yastrzemski’s life in baseball and gave the Giants a building block who is setting the tone for a new era in the franchise’s history.