mercurynews--2020-05-24--San Jose: Church pastor vows to fully reopen next week, regardless of stay-at-home orders

CLICK HERE if you ’ re having a problem viewing the photos on a mobile device .
The pastor at a South Bay church said in an outdoor sermon Sunday he would reopen the church for regular service next week , regardless of the status of local orders mandating public closure , and that he will “ never ” close the doors to his church again .
The plans announced by Pastor Mike McClure of San Jose ’ s Calvary Chapel were part of a larger wave of protest openings at places across the country , as some residents , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ chafe under rules that determine what ’ s “ essential ” and what ’ s not amid the COVID-19 pandemic .
During his nearly two-hour-long sermon on Sunday , as dozens of people gathered close together without masks just outside the southside church , McClure said the Bible and God call on Christians to come together despite the dangers of the virus .
“ We ’ re called to be together , ” McClure said during the sermon .
“ Man doesn ’ t have the right to close the doors .
“ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ isolate ourselves .
All of us need to be in the sanctuary .
I don ’ t care what they say , I ’ m never again going to close the doors , ever.
” McClure added that he would post federal guidelines and other notices inside the church to encourage safe behavior .
San Jose police and city officials could not immediately be reached for comment about what action they might take if the church violates standing orders .
McClure said he was eager to show off renovations that took place during @ @ @ @ @ @ @ reopen the facility to give worshippers a place to be together and support each other .
McClure said he was also emboldened by comments President Donald Trump made on Friday declaring places of worship “ essential ” and saying they should be opened on the holiday weekend .
McClure was clear that he would defy orders from the state and county to remain closed .
Trump ’ s comments came just hours after the US 9th Circuit Court of Appeals split in a 2-1 ruling denying a request for a temporary restraining order @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ban of in-church services .
The request was filed earlier this month by the South Bay United Pentecostal Church in Chula Vista .
“ It ’ s conflicting because we have a government that ’ s arguing churches aren ’ t essential , though they are essential , ” McClure said .
“ I ’ m going to let the President and the Governor figure that out.
” McClure said he was further emboldened by comments from Attorney General William Barr , who warned last week that religious activity could not be forced @ @ @ @ @ @ @ allowed .
“ ( Barr ) encouraged us to meet together and that if anything happens he will get a lawyer over here to help us , ” McClure said .
“ He said that freedom in America comes from that first right of religious freedom.
” Twenty-one-year-old church administrator Carson Atherley said Sunday that he is “ well within his rights ” to assemble and return to church as normal .
He said that for weeks Calvary Chapel has been doing drive-up services , though on Sunday more people got out of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ worship outside the church .
“ We ’ re certainly following the guidelines to the extent that Costco , Target and others are applying them , ” Atherley said .
But unlike most grocery stores and other essential businesses , just a handful of the people gathered outside the church Sunday had on masks or kept a distance from each other .
Asked why he allowed people to congregate without the state and county-mandated precautions , Atherley said he “ is not the social distancing police or the mask police.
” “ We @ @ @ @ @ @ @ do whatever they feel is right , ” Atherley said .
“ We ’ re not promoting or condemning the use of masks or the practice of social distancing.
” Kevin and Sandee DeBella , who have been attending Calvary Chapel for years , were part of the group of people who stayed well past the end of the service to congregate with church friends they have not seen in months .
“ It feels like we ’ re back at church , ” Kevin DeBella .
“ It was nice to be @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and see the love we feel for one another.
” The DeBellas said they are not afraid about contracting the coronavirus because they have been quarantined and are taking the necessary precautions outside of church , though they were not wearing masks at the outdoor service Sunday .
Both said they did not believe that the COVID-19 pandemic was as bad as it was being portrayed .
“ It ’ s bad but it ’ s not as bad as we made it out to be , ” Sandee DeBella said .
“ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ days .
I don ’ t want to go out of my way to distance myself from someone who may need a handshake or a hug or company .
“ It ’ s either going to be my time or it ’ s not .
”

CLICK HERE if you’re having a problem viewing the photos on a mobile device.
The pastor at a South Bay church said in an outdoor sermon Sunday he would reopen the church for regular service next week, regardless of the status of local orders mandating public closure, and that he will “never” close the doors to his church again.
The plans announced by Pastor Mike McClure of San Jose’s Calvary Chapel were part of a larger wave of protest openings at places across the country, as some residents, business owners, church leaders and others chafe under rules that determine what’s “essential” and what’s not amid the COVID-19 pandemic.
During his nearly two-hour-long sermon on Sunday, as dozens of people gathered close together without masks just outside the southside church, McClure said the Bible and God call on Christians to come together despite the dangers of the virus.
“We’re called to be together,” McClure said during the sermon. “Man doesn’t have the right to close the doors.
“God doesn’t want us to isolate ourselves. All of us need to be in the sanctuary. I don’t care what they say, I’m never again going to close the doors, ever.”
McClure added that he would post federal guidelines and other notices inside the church to encourage safe behavior.
San Jose police and city officials could not immediately be reached for comment about what action they might take if the church violates standing orders.
McClure said he was eager to show off renovations that took place during the lockdown, adding that he would reopen the facility to give worshippers a place to be together and support each other.
McClure said he was also emboldened by comments President Donald Trump made on Friday declaring places of worship “essential” and saying they should be opened on the holiday weekend. McClure was clear that he would defy orders from the state and county to remain closed.
Trump’s comments came just hours after the US 9th Circuit Court of Appeals split in a 2-1 ruling denying a request for a temporary restraining order against Gov. Gavin Newsom’s ban of in-church services. The request was filed earlier this month by the South Bay United Pentecostal Church in Chula Vista.
“It’s conflicting because we have a government that’s arguing churches aren’t essential, though they are essential,” McClure said. “I’m going to let the President and the Governor figure that out.”
McClure said he was further emboldened by comments from Attorney General William Barr, who warned last week that religious activity could not be forced to stop while other similar activities were allowed.
“(Barr) encouraged us to meet together and that if anything happens he will get a lawyer over here to help us,” McClure said. “He said that freedom in America comes from that first right of religious freedom.”
Twenty-one-year-old church administrator Carson Atherley said Sunday that he is “well within his rights” to assemble and return to church as normal. He said that for weeks Calvary Chapel has been doing drive-up services, though on Sunday more people got out of their cars than usual and gathered for worship outside the church.
“We’re certainly following the guidelines to the extent that Costco, Target and others are applying them,” Atherley said.
But unlike most grocery stores and other essential businesses, just a handful of the people gathered outside the church Sunday had on masks or kept a distance from each other.
Asked why he allowed people to congregate without the state and county-mandated precautions, Atherley said he “is not the social distancing police or the mask police.”
“We’re going to allow people to do whatever they feel is right,” Atherley said. “We’re not promoting or condemning the use of masks or the practice of social distancing.”
Kevin and Sandee DeBella, who have been attending Calvary Chapel for years, were part of the group of people who stayed well past the end of the service to congregate with church friends they have not seen in months.
“It feels like we’re back at church,” Kevin DeBella. “It was nice to be able to get out on the lawn and see the love we feel for one another.”
The DeBellas said they are not afraid about contracting the coronavirus because they have been quarantined and are taking the necessary precautions outside of church, though they were not wearing masks at the outdoor service Sunday.
Both said they did not believe that the COVID-19 pandemic was as bad as it was being portrayed.
“It’s bad but it’s not as bad as we made it out to be,” Sandee DeBella said. “For us, the Lord numbers our days. I don’t want to go out of my way to distance myself from someone who may need a handshake or a hug or company.
“It’s either going to be my time or it’s not.”


mercurynews--2020-05-24--Photos: Muslims nation and worldwide celebrate Eid al-Fitr during coronavirus pandemic

CLICK HERE if you ’ re having a problem viewing the photos on a mobile device .
This year ’ @ @ @ @ @ , normally one of the most joyous holidays for Muslims , had a somber tone @ @ @ @ @ remained closed and people were still sheltering in place due to the coronavirus pandemic .
@ @ @ @ @ Festival of Breaking the Fast ” , is a religious holiday which marks the end @ @ @ @ @ of Ramadan .
In the Sunset Park neighborhood of Brooklyn , a drive-through parade was @ @ @ @ @ .
In Iran , which has endured the deadliest outbreak in the Middle East , @ @ @ @ @ ahead of the holiday aside from cancelling mass prayers in Tehran traditionally led by Supreme @ @ @ @ @ Muslims celebrated one of their biggest holidays under the long shadow of the coronavirus , @ @ @ @ @ homes and others gripped by economic concerns during what is usually a festive time of @ @ @ @

WHEATON, ILLINOIS - MAY 24: Worshippers greet each other while stopping to take a photo during a drive-thru Eid celebration hosted by the Islamic Center of Wheaton on May 24, 2020 in Wheaton, Illinois. Worship services are restricted to 10 participants or less in Illinois as the state continues it's shelter-in-place order in an attempt to curtail the spread of the coronavirus COVID-19. Only a few have elected to hold services while many have resorted to creative alternatives. The Islamic Center of Wheaton is not currently hosting prayers services in the mosque. It would typically host several on Eid to accommodate the large number of worshippers. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)


mercurynews--2020-05-24--White House imposes coronavirus travel ban on Brazil

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump on Sunday further limited travel from the world ’ s coronavirus hotspots by denying entry to foreigners coming from Brazil , which is second to the U.S. in the number of confirmed cases .
Trump had already banned certain travelers from China , Europe , the United Kingdom and Ireland and , to a lesser extent , Iran .
He has not moved to ban travel from Russia , which has the world ’ s third-highest caseload .
Trump had said last week that he was considering limiting travel from Brazil .
White House press @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Sunday as another “ decisive action to protect our country ” by Trump , whose management of the crisis has come under sharp scrutiny .
The U.S. leads the world with more than 1.6 million confirmed coronavirus cases , and a death toll that is expected to surpass 100,000 later this week , according to a tally by Johns Hopkins University .
Brazil , now Latin America ’ s hardest-hit country , is second , with more than 347,000 cases and more than 22,000 deaths .
Third on the list is Russia , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ more than 3,500 deaths .
“ Today ’ s action will help ensure foreign nationals who have been in Brazil do not become a source of additional infections in our country , ” McEnany said .
Filipe Martins , who advises Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro on international affairs , said the U.S. was treating Brazil as it had other populous countries and suggested the news media were overplaying Trump ’ s ban .
“ By temporarily banning the entry of Brazilians to the U.S. , the American government is following previously established quantitative @ @ @ @ @ @ @ populous as ours , ” Martins tweeted .
“ There isn ’ t anything specifically against Brazil .
Ignore the hysteria from the press.
” The ban on travel from Brazil takes effect late Thursday .
As with the other bans , it does not apply to legal permanent residents .
A spouse , parent or child of a U.S. citizen or legal permanent resident also would be allowed to enter the country .
The restrictions also do not apply to trade between the U.S. and Brazil .
Earlier Sunday , Robert O @ @ @ @ @ @ @ adviser , had said an announcement was likely .
“ We ’ re concerned about the people of the Southern Hemisphere and certainly the people of Brazil .
They ’ re having a rough go of it , ” he said on CBS ’ s “ Face the Nation.
” He said the travel ban would likely be temporary .
“ But because of the situation in Brazil , we ’ re going to take every step necessary to protect the American people , ” O ’ Brien said .
Data from Brazil @ @ @ @ @ @ @ has already been a sharp reduction in U.S.-bound flights from the South American country .
There were more than 700 flights from Brazil to the U.S. in February of this year , with the number dropping to just 140 in April , two months later .
• San Jose : Church pastor vows to fully reopen next week , regardless of stay-at-home orders There were more than 700 flights to the U.S. from Brazil in April 2019 , the data shows .
Marcelo de Sousa in Rio de Janeiro , Brazil , contributed @ @ @ @

By Darlene Superville | Associated Press
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump on Sunday further limited travel from the world’s coronavirus hotspots by denying entry to foreigners coming from Brazil, which is second to the U.S. in the number of confirmed cases.
Trump had already banned certain travelers from China, Europe, the United Kingdom and Ireland and, to a lesser extent, Iran. He has not moved to ban travel from Russia, which has the world’s third-highest caseload.
Trump had said last week that he was considering limiting travel from Brazil.
White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany cast the step announced Sunday as another “decisive action to protect our country” by Trump, whose management of the crisis has come under sharp scrutiny.
The U.S. leads the world with more than 1.6 million confirmed coronavirus cases, and a death toll that is expected to surpass 100,000 later this week, according to a tally by Johns Hopkins University.
Brazil, now Latin America’s hardest-hit country, is second, with more than 347,000 cases and more than 22,000 deaths. Third on the list is Russia, with more than 344,000 reported cases and more than 3,500 deaths.
“Today’s action will help ensure foreign nationals who have been in Brazil do not become a source of additional infections in our country,” McEnany said.
[vemba-video id=”world/2020/05/21/brazil-coronavirus-cases-graves-walsh-keilar-nr-vpx.cnn”]
Filipe Martins, who advises Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro on international affairs, said the U.S. was treating Brazil as it had other populous countries and suggested the news media were overplaying Trump’s ban.
“By temporarily banning the entry of Brazilians to the U.S., the American government is following previously established quantitative parameters that naturally reach a country as populous as ours,” Martins tweeted. “There isn’t anything specifically against Brazil. Ignore the hysteria from the press.”
The ban on travel from Brazil takes effect late Thursday. As with the other bans, it does not apply to legal permanent residents. A spouse, parent or child of a U.S. citizen or legal permanent resident also would be allowed to enter the country. The restrictions also do not apply to trade between the U.S. and Brazil.
Earlier Sunday, Robert O’Brien, the U.S. national security adviser, had said an announcement was likely.
“We’re concerned about the people of the Southern Hemisphere and certainly the people of Brazil. They’re having a rough go of it,” he said on CBS’s “Face the Nation.” He said the travel ban would likely be temporary.
“But because of the situation in Brazil, we’re going to take every step necessary to protect the American people,” O’Brien said.
Data from Brazil’s civil aviation agency shows there has already been a sharp reduction in U.S.-bound flights from the South American country. There were more than 700 flights from Brazil to the U.S. in February of this year, with the number dropping to just 140 in April, two months later.
Related Articles Health | San Jose office building wobbles into default — again
San Jose office building wobbles into default — again Health | College students blocked from campus when COVID hit want money back. Some are getting refunds
College students blocked from campus when COVID hit want money back. Some are getting refunds Health | One controversial East Bay parklet reveals dilemmas of pandemic dining
One controversial East Bay parklet reveals dilemmas of pandemic dining Health | Long Covid cases in US adults are on the decline, but many continue to struggle with symptoms
Long Covid cases in US adults are on the decline, but many continue to struggle with symptoms Health | COVID Q&A: Can I use an expired test? Time to get boosted? How to cope with California’s sneaky summer surge There were more than 700 flights to the U.S. from Brazil in April 2019, the data shows.
Marcelo de Sousa in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, contributed to this report.


mercurynews--2020-05-24--Southern California man arrested on suspicion of distributing child porn

A 51-year-old Chino Hills man described by authorities as a registered sex offender and convicted felon has been arrested on suspicion of possessing and distributing “ thousands of images of videos ” of child pornography from his home , the sheriff ’ s department said .
Chong Tak Kim , 51 , was arrested Thursday , May 21 , after an investigation by the San Bernardino County Sheriff ’ s Department ’ s Crimes Against Children detail and its Hi-Tech division traced the distribution to Kim ’ s home in the 13000 block of Sunnyslope Drive , the department said @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 30 by members of the sheriff ’ s department along with FBI agents .
Investigators “ determined Chong Tak Kim was responsible for distribution of thousands of images and videos of child pornography and was in possession of child pornography , ” a sheriff ’ s news release said .
The California Megan ’ s Law website says Kim was convicted in 1998 of lewd or lascivious acts with a child aged 14 or 15 by an offender 10 or more years old than the victim .
Kim posted bail the same day @ @ @ @

A 51-year-old Chino Hills man described by authorities as a registered sex offender and convicted felon has been arrested on suspicion of possessing and distributing “thousands of images of videos” of child pornography from his home, the sheriff’s department said.
Chong Tak Kim, 51, was arrested Thursday, May 21, after an investigation by the San Bernardino County Sheriff’s Department’s Crimes Against Children detail and its Hi-Tech division traced the distribution to Kim’s home in the 13000 block of Sunnyslope Drive, the department said.
A search warrant was served April 30 by members of the sheriff’s department along with FBI agents.
Investigators “determined Chong Tak Kim was responsible for distribution of thousands of images and videos of child pornography and was in possession of child pornography,” a sheriff’s news release said.
The California Megan’s Law website says Kim was convicted in 1998 of lewd or lascivious acts with a child aged 14 or 15 by an offender 10 or more years old than the victim.
Kim posted bail the same day he was arrested.


mercurynews--2020-05-24--7th inmate from California Institution for Men in Chino dies from coronavirus complications

A seventh inmate from the California Institution for Men in Chino has died from coronavirus complications , a state prison spokeswoman said Sunday , May 24 .
The unidentified inmate died at a hospital that was outside the prison , and the exact cause of death has yet to be determined , said a brief statement from California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation spokeswoman Dana Simas , which added that relatives have been notified .
California Institution for Men is the only prison in the system ’ s 35 institutions where deaths attributed to COVID-19 have been reported .
It @ @ @ @ @ @ @ inmates , 459 currently in custody , and 630 confirmed cases since March 10 .
The men ’ s prison most recently housed 3,317 inmates and was at 111.5 % of its capacity .
On Saturday , families of inmates protested outside the prison .
Attorneys representing inmates have been pressing to have the most vulnerable ones removed from CIM to other institutions , or possibly to places outside of prisons , saying in a May 20 filing that it was believed most or all of the six CIM inmates who had died @ @ @ @ @ @ @ dorms when they developed symptoms .
Those inmates were called “ especially vulnerable ” because of their age or serious medical conditions , Prison Law Office attorneys said in a federal court filing .
The transfer proposal has been turned down by prison officials The California Correction Health Care Services said it believes that “ mass movement of high-risk inmates between institutions without outbreaks is ill-advised and potentially dangerous.
” Prison Law Office attorneys said the denial goes against an “ indefinite commitment ” from prison officials that they were considering moving some @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the prisoners said in the May 20 federal court filing that 27 inmates from California Institution for Men were at outside hospitals while being treated for COVID-19 complications .

A seventh inmate from the California Institution for Men in Chino has died from coronavirus complications, a state prison spokeswoman said Sunday, May 24.
The unidentified inmate died at a hospital that was outside the prison, and the exact cause of death has yet to be determined, said a brief statement from California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation spokeswoman Dana Simas, which added that relatives have been notified.
California Institution for Men is the only prison in the system’s 35 institutions where deaths attributed to COVID-19 have been reported.
It also has the largest numbers of diagnosed inmates, 459 currently in custody, and 630 confirmed cases since March 10. The men’s prison most recently housed 3,317 inmates and was at 111.5 % of its capacity.
On Saturday, families of inmates protested outside the prison.
Attorneys representing inmates have been pressing to have the most vulnerable ones removed from CIM to other institutions, or possibly to places outside of prisons, saying in a May 20 filing that it was believed most or all of the six CIM inmates who had died at that time were living in prison dorms when they developed symptoms.
Those inmates were called “especially vulnerable” because of their age or serious medical conditions, Prison Law Office attorneys said in a federal court filing.
The transfer proposal has been turned down by prison officials
The California Correction Health Care Services said it believes that “mass movement of high-risk inmates between institutions without outbreaks is ill-advised and potentially dangerous.”
Prison Law Office attorneys said the denial goes against an “indefinite commitment” from prison officials that they were considering moving some high-risk patients from CIM.
Attorneys for the prisoners said in the May 20 federal court filing that 27 inmates from California Institution for Men were at outside hospitals while being treated for COVID-19 complications.


mercurynews--2020-05-24--Arkansas coronavirus cluster traced to swim party

Several people who attended a high school swim party in Arkansas have contracted Covid-19 , Gov .
Asa Hutchinson told reporters on Saturday .
“ A high school swim party that I ’ m sure everybody thought was harmless .
They ’ re young , they ’ re swimming , they ’ re just having activity and positive cases resulted from that , ” Hutchinson said .
The governor declined to provide further details on the swim party but noted the incident was “ just an encouragement for us to be disciplined in our activities.
” “ During this Memorial @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to be out and we want to enjoy ourselves , we want to remember this holiday and those that have served our country and given their lives in service of our country .
But let ’ s be safe and let ’ s be disciplined at the same time , ” Hutchinson said .
The case described by the governor highlights the threats of community spread in the United States as cities and states continue relaxing social distancing measures and businesses reopen .
Earlier this month , at least 180 people were exposed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a person who tested positive for Covid-19 attended a religious service on Mother ’ s Day .
Meanwhile in Missouri , as many as 91 people were exposed to the virus when a hairstylist with coronavirus worked for eight days while symptomatic .
On Saturday , Hutchinson said Arkansas is seeing an increase of Covid-19 cases in what the governor calls a second peak .
Health officials reported 163 new cases of the virus on Saturday .
There are at least 5,612 cases in the state , according to a tally by Johns @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Arkansas has not been under a stay-at-home order to limit the spread of the novel coronavirus .
Last month , Hutchinson said he didn ’ t believe the state needed a statewide order because of its low density in population .
• San Jose : Church pastor vows to fully reopen next week , regardless of stay-at-home orders He pointed to his actions in declaring a public emergency when Arkansas had its first confirmed case of coronavirus , closing the state ’ s schools and increasing testing .

Several people who attended a high school swim party in Arkansas have contracted Covid-19, Gov. Asa Hutchinson told reporters on Saturday.
“A high school swim party that I’m sure everybody thought was harmless. They’re young, they’re swimming, they’re just having activity and positive cases resulted from that,” Hutchinson said.
The governor declined to provide further details on the swim party but noted the incident was “just an encouragement for us to be disciplined in our activities.”
“During this Memorial (Day) weekend, we want to be out and we want to enjoy ourselves, we want to remember this holiday and those that have served our country and given their lives in service of our country. But let’s be safe and let’s be disciplined at the same time,” Hutchinson said.
The case described by the governor highlights the threats of community spread in the United States as cities and states continue relaxing social distancing measures and businesses reopen.
Earlier this month, at least 180 people were exposed to the novel coronavirus in California when a person who tested positive for Covid-19 attended a religious service on Mother’s Day. Meanwhile in Missouri, as many as 91 people were exposed to the virus when a hairstylist with coronavirus worked for eight days while symptomatic.
[vemba-video id=”us/2020/05/24/arkansas-covid-case-2nd-peak-governor-lavandera-nr-vpx.cnn”]
On Saturday, Hutchinson said Arkansas is seeing an increase of Covid-19 cases in what the governor calls a second peak.
Health officials reported 163 new cases of the virus on Saturday. There are at least 5,612 cases in the state, according to a tally by Johns Hopkins University.
Unlike other states, Arkansas has not been under a stay-at-home order to limit the spread of the novel coronavirus.
Last month, Hutchinson said he didn’t believe the state needed a statewide order because of its low density in population.
Related Articles Health | San Jose office building wobbles into default — again
San Jose office building wobbles into default — again Health | College students blocked from campus when COVID hit want money back. Some are getting refunds
College students blocked from campus when COVID hit want money back. Some are getting refunds Health | One controversial East Bay parklet reveals dilemmas of pandemic dining
One controversial East Bay parklet reveals dilemmas of pandemic dining Health | Long Covid cases in US adults are on the decline, but many continue to struggle with symptoms
Long Covid cases in US adults are on the decline, but many continue to struggle with symptoms Health | COVID Q&A: Can I use an expired test? Time to get boosted? How to cope with California’s sneaky summer surge He pointed to his actions in declaring a public emergency when Arkansas had its first confirmed case of coronavirus, closing the state’s schools and increasing testing.
The-CNN-Wire
™ & © 2020 Cable News Network, Inc., a WarnerMedia Company. All rights reserved.


mercurynews--2020-05-24--White House goal on testing nursing homes unmet

RICHMOND , Va. — Nearly two weeks ago the White House urged governors to ensure that every nursing home resident and staff member be tested for the coronavirus within 14 days .
It ’ s not going to happen .
A review by The Associated Press found that at least half of the states are not going to meet White House ’ s deadline and some aren ’ t even bothering to try .
Only a handful of states , including West Virginia and Rhode Island , have said they ’ ve already tested every nursing home resident .
Many @ @ @ @ @ @ @ manpower needs are too great to test all residents and staff in a two-week window .
Some say they need another week or so , while others say they need much more time .
California , the most populous state , said it is still working to release a plan that would ensure testing capacity for all residents and staff at skilled nursing facilities statewide .
And still other states are questioning whether testing every nursing home resident and staff , regardless of any other factors , is a good use of time @ @ @ @ @ @ @ it would be fairly useless to do that , ” said Nebraska Chief Medical Officer Dr. Gary Anthone , adding that the state would have to repeat the tests almost daily to get more than a snapshot in time , and the state doesn ’ t have the capacity when there are others who need to be tested .
Anthone said the state was going to stick with the CDC ’ s guidelines , which call for testing individually when nursing home residents show symptoms or collectively if there is a new confirmed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ The varying responses by states to nursing home testing is another example of the country ’ s patchwork response to the pandemic that also underscores the Trump administration ’ s limited influence .
The president has preferred to offload key responsibilities and decisions to states and governors , despite calls for a coordinated national response .
“ All of this is probably not as well thought out as it could have been , ” said Dr. Jim Wright , the medical director at a Virginia nursing home where dozens of residents have died @ @ @ @ @ @ @ impulsive type of directive rather than one that has been completely vetted by providers on the ground.
” On May 11 , Trump heralded his administration ’ s efforts to boost coronavirus testing and said the U.S. had developed the “ most advanced robust testing system in the world , by far.
” That same day , Vice President Mike Pence hosted a private conference call with the state ’ s governors , where White House adviser Dr. Deborah Birx requested that each state target nursing homes to help lower the virus ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ” Pence added , according to a recording of the call obtained by the AP .
Trump said later that day at a news conference that he was thinking of making it a mandatory requirement .
“ I think it ’ s very important to do and I think , frankly , some of the governors were very lax with respect to nursing homes , ” Trump said .
Birx acknowledged Friday that the two-week recommendation was a challenge but said it was needed because of the particular vulnerability of nursing homes .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ those who can ’ t get it done , ” she said .
“ We should be encouraged by those who have shown us that it can be done.
” Nursing home residents , who are typically older and often have underlying medical conditions , have been particularly hard hit by the virus .
More than 36,000 residents and staff have died from outbreaks at the nation ’ s nursing homes and long-term care facilities , according to an AP tally .
That is more than a third of all deaths in the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ virus .
Nursing home operators have said the lack of testing kits and other resources has left them nearly powerless to stop the virus from entering their facilities because they haven ’ t been able to identity silent spreaders not showing symptoms .
The American Health Care Association , the main nursing home trade group , said more than half of its members said they were unable to test all residents and staff within two weeks because of a lack of access to testing .
The group also estimates that testing every nursing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ testing nearly 3 million people at a cost of $ 440 million .
Even with the tests , nursing homes struggle to find people to administer them and carve out enough time to perform them .
New York , the nation ’ s leader in nursing home deaths , said this past week it has sent out enough kits to all nursing homes to test every resident though it remains unclear whether they will be done by the deadline .
Delaware Gov .
John Carney announced a plan May 5 for universal testing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ homes and other long-term care facilities , but the testing program is voluntary .
On Friday , the state said three-quarters of long-term care facilities had requested testing kits , and that weekly testing of staff would be mandatory starting in June .
• San Jose : Church pastor vows to fully reopen next week , regardless of stay-at-home orders Alabama State Health Officer Scott Harris said meeting the White House ’ s recommendation would mean testing 50,000 people in two weeks when it took three months for the state to test 150,000 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ not possible , ” he said .
Associated Press writers from around the country contributed to this report .

By Alan Suderman | Associated Press
RICHMOND, Va. — Nearly two weeks ago the White House urged governors to ensure that every nursing home resident and staff member be tested for the coronavirus within 14 days.
It’s not going to happen.
A review by The Associated Press found that at least half of the states are not going to meet White House’s deadline and some aren’t even bothering to try.
Only a handful of states, including West Virginia and Rhode Island, have said they’ve already tested every nursing home resident.
Many states said the logistics, costs and manpower needs are too great to test all residents and staff in a two-week window. Some say they need another week or so, while others say they need much more time. California, the most populous state, said it is still working to release a plan that would ensure testing capacity for all residents and staff at skilled nursing facilities statewide.
And still other states are questioning whether testing every nursing home resident and staff, regardless of any other factors, is a good use of time and money.
“At this time it would be fairly useless to do that,” said Nebraska Chief Medical Officer Dr. Gary Anthone, adding that the state would have to repeat the tests almost daily to get more than a snapshot in time, and the state doesn’t have the capacity when there are others who need to be tested.
[vemba-video id=”us/2020/05/20/nursing-homes-ppe-coronavirus-griffin-pkg-tsr-vpx.cnn”]
Anthone said the state was going to stick with the CDC’s guidelines, which call for testing individually when nursing home residents show symptoms or collectively if there is a new confirmed case of COVID-19 in a home.
The varying responses by states to nursing home testing is another example of the country’s patchwork response to the pandemic that also underscores the Trump administration’s limited influence. The president has preferred to offload key responsibilities and decisions to states and governors, despite calls for a coordinated national response.
“All of this is probably not as well thought out as it could have been,” said Dr. Jim Wright, the medical director at a Virginia nursing home where dozens of residents have died. “It sounds more like an impulsive type of directive rather than one that has been completely vetted by providers on the ground.”
On May 11, Trump heralded his administration’s efforts to boost coronavirus testing and said the U.S. had developed the “most advanced robust testing system in the world, by far.” That same day, Vice President Mike Pence hosted a private conference call with the state’s governors, where White House adviser Dr. Deborah Birx requested that each state target nursing homes to help lower the virus’ death toll.
“Start now,” Pence added, according to a recording of the call obtained by the AP.
Trump said later that day at a news conference that he was thinking of making it a mandatory requirement.
“I think it’s very important to do and I think, frankly, some of the governors were very lax with respect to nursing homes,” Trump said.
Birx acknowledged Friday that the two-week recommendation was a challenge but said it was needed because of the particular vulnerability of nursing homes.
“We should never be discouraged by those who can’t get it done,” she said. “We should be encouraged by those who have shown us that it can be done.”
Nursing home residents, who are typically older and often have underlying medical conditions, have been particularly hard hit by the virus. More than 36,000 residents and staff have died from outbreaks at the nation’s nursing homes and long-term care facilities, according to an AP tally. That is more than a third of all deaths in the U.S. that have been attributed to the virus.
Nursing home operators have said the lack of testing kits and other resources has left them nearly powerless to stop the virus from entering their facilities because they haven’t been able to identity silent spreaders not showing symptoms.
The American Health Care Association, the main nursing home trade group, said more than half of its members said they were unable to test all residents and staff within two weeks because of a lack of access to testing. The group also estimates that testing every nursing home resident and staff member would involve testing nearly 3 million people at a cost of $440 million.
Even with the tests, nursing homes struggle to find people to administer them and carve out enough time to perform them.
New York, the nation’s leader in nursing home deaths, said this past week it has sent out enough kits to all nursing homes to test every resident though it remains unclear whether they will be done by the deadline.
Delaware Gov. John Carney announced a plan May 5 for universal testing of all residents and staff in nursing homes and other long-term care facilities, but the testing program is voluntary. On Friday, the state said three-quarters of long-term care facilities had requested testing kits, and that weekly testing of staff would be mandatory starting in June.
Related Articles Health | San Jose office building wobbles into default — again
San Jose office building wobbles into default — again Health | College students blocked from campus when COVID hit want money back. Some are getting refunds
College students blocked from campus when COVID hit want money back. Some are getting refunds Health | One controversial East Bay parklet reveals dilemmas of pandemic dining
One controversial East Bay parklet reveals dilemmas of pandemic dining Health | Long Covid cases in US adults are on the decline, but many continue to struggle with symptoms
Long Covid cases in US adults are on the decline, but many continue to struggle with symptoms Health | COVID Q&A: Can I use an expired test? Time to get boosted? How to cope with California’s sneaky summer surge Alabama State Health Officer Scott Harris said meeting the White House’s recommendation would mean testing 50,000 people in two weeks when it took three months for the state to test 150,000 people.
“It’s just not possible,” he said.
Associated Press writers from around the country contributed to this report.


mercurynews--2020-05-25--Letter: Leaders aren’t elected to do what they think best

Leaders aren ’ t elected to do what they think best Re : “ Purpose of government is to provide for its citizens ” ( Letter to the editor , Eastbaytimes.com , May 19 ) : Contrary to the letter-writer ’ s assertion that the purpose of government is to provide for its citizens , the purpose of government is actually to secure the people ’ s rights to life , liberty and property .
Remember that governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed .
The U.S. government will collect $ 7.34 trillion in taxes this @ @ @ @ @ @ @ goes toward “ providing ” for American citizens ?
Certainly not the $ 40 billion spent annually on foreign aid , or the $ 97 billion spent by federal agencies during the fourth quarter use-it or lose-it spending frenzy .
If they really cared , why not decrease tax rates , cut unnecessary spending and eliminate regulations on innovation for the more efficient private sector ?
• Letter : Think there ’ s a housing crisis now ?
Just wait for the rent relief plan • Letter : Will Rep. Lee support bill @ @ @ @ @ @ @ : Are you ready to die for your economy ?
• Letter : Leaders rule based on fear for us , rather than trust in us We don ’ t elect politicians to do what they think is best .
They answer to the people .
And especially during this time of borderline tyranny , maybe it ’ s time we reevaluate our government ’ s behavior .
Submit your letter to the editor via this form Read more Letters to the Editor

Leaders aren’t elected to
do what they think best
Re: “Purpose of government is to provide for its citizens” (Letter to the editor, Eastbaytimes.com, May 19):
Contrary to the letter-writer’s assertion that the purpose of government is to provide for its citizens, the purpose of government is actually to secure the people’s rights to life, liberty and property.
Remember that governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed. The U.S. government will collect $7.34 trillion in taxes this year.
How much of that actually goes toward “providing” for American citizens? Certainly not the $40 billion spent annually on foreign aid, or the $97 billion spent by federal agencies during the fourth quarter use-it or lose-it spending frenzy.
If they really cared, why not decrease tax rates, cut unnecessary spending and eliminate regulations on innovation for the more efficient private sector?
Related Articles Letters to the Editor | Letters: Escape Bay Area | CASA program | Feinstein replacement | Faulty comparison | Not conservatives
Letters: Escape Bay Area | CASA program | Feinstein replacement | Faulty comparison | Not conservatives Letters to the Editor | Letters: Psychiatric beds | SJSU neglect | Squandering cash | Overdoing coverage | Pac-12 negotiations | For climate’s sake | Electric appliances
Letters: Psychiatric beds | SJSU neglect | Squandering cash | Overdoing coverage | Pac-12 negotiations | For climate’s sake | Electric appliances Letters to the Editor | Letters: Abandoning tenants | Deaf culture | Western contributions | Conservative alienation | Precise language
Letters: Abandoning tenants | Deaf culture | Western contributions | Conservative alienation | Precise language Letters to the Editor | Letters: Insulate wires | CDE was wrong | Functional Chromebooks | Trump’s ego | Healthy debate | A new path
Letters: Insulate wires | CDE was wrong | Functional Chromebooks | Trump’s ego | Healthy debate | A new path Letters to the Editor | Letters: Local solar | Titan resources | Activism helps We don’t elect politicians to do what they think is best. They answer to the people. And especially during this time of borderline tyranny, maybe it’s time we reevaluate our government’s behavior.
Oliver Schriftsteller
Santa Clara
Submit your letter to the editor via this form
Read more Letters to the Editor


mercurynews--2020-05-25--Word Game: May 25, 2020

Word Game: May 25, 2020

TODAY ’ S WORD — OMICRON ( OMICRON : AHM-ih-kron : The 15th letter of the Greek alphabet . )
@ @ @ @ @ more words in OMICRON ?
The list will be published tomorrow .
To purchase the @ @ @ @ @ WordGameBooks.com .
Order it now for just $ 5 while supplies last !
1 .
@ @ @ @ @ or more letters .
2 .
Words that acquire four letters by the addition of @ @ @ @ @ as “ bats ” or “ dies , ” are not allowed .
3 .
@ @ @ @ @ a “ d ” or an “ s ” may not be used .
For @ @ @ @ @ ” is used , “ baked ” or “ bakes ” are not allowed , @ @ @ @ @ “ baking ” are admissible .
4 .
Proper nouns , slang words , or @ @ @ @ @ are not allowed .

TODAY’S WORD — OMICRON (OMICRON: AHM-ih-kron: The 15th letter of the Greek alphabet.)
Average mark 13 words
Time limit 25 minutes
Can you find 17 or more words in OMICRON? The list will be published tomorrow.
SATURDAY’S WORD — URBANITY unit unitary unity urban rain rainy rani rant ruby
ruin runt runty bait barn binary brain brainy bran brant brat bray briny bruin brunt
bunt burn burnt bury abut airy anti arty aunt nary nutria tabu tarn tiny train tray tuba
tuna turban turn yarn yurt
To purchase the Word Game book, visit WordGameBooks.com. Order it now for just $5 while supplies last!
RULES OF THE GAME:
1. Words must be of four or more letters.
2. Words that acquire four letters by the addition of “s,” such as “bats” or “dies,” are not allowed.
3. Additional words made by adding a “d” or an “s” may not be used. For example, if “bake” is used, “baked” or “bakes” are not allowed, but “bake” and “baking” are admissible.
4. Proper nouns, slang words, or vulgar or sexually explicit words are not allowed.
Contact Word Game creator Kathleen Saxe at kzsaxe@gmail.com.


mercurynews--2020-05-25--Horoscopes May 25, 2020: Mike Myers, charm alone will get you only so far.

Happy Birthday : Start a dialogue if you want to make progress this year .
Gather information , and be the one to instigate what you want to happen .
Show more discipline when it comes to working and finishing what you start .
Truth matters , and how you handle people and situations will be reflected in the way others treat you .
Charm alone will get you only so far .
Your numbers are 4 , 12 , 25 , 29 , 36 , 44 , 48 .
ARIES ( March 21-April 19 ) : Pressure is mounting @ @ @ @ @ @ @ put in place .
Don ’ t trust outside information or an empty promise .
Keep your dealings simple , a budget in place and what ’ s important to you at the top of your to-do list .
2 stars TAURUS ( April 20-May 20 ) : Be open about what you want to happen , and be willing to compromise and put up with the changes someone wants in order to make your plans acceptable .
Follow your heart , and be prepared to make compensations to get what you want @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 20 ) : Pick up the pace .
The more you do , the better the outcome .
Idle time will lead to a problem with someone close to you .
Work with what you ’ ve got , and avoid going over budget .
Don ’ t fall for someone ’ s jargon .
3 stars CANCER ( June 21-July 22 ) : Channel your emotions into something constructive .
The less time you have to worry about what everyone is doing , the easier it will be for you to accomplish @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Use your energy creatively , and avoid an argument .
3 stars LEO ( July 23-Aug. 22 ) : A change will catch you by surprise .
You ’ ll need to do some fancy footwork if you intend to stay on schedule and outmaneuver anyone who is trying to sabotage your plans .
Don ’ t rely on others to do things for you .
3 stars VIRGO ( Aug. 23-Sept. 22 ) : A decision that can affect your reputation , status or position will require attention .
Be open to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in to bribery or temptation .
Set a goal , and verify facts before you take action .
4 stars LIBRA ( Sept. 23-Oct. 22 ) : Learn all you can .
Sign up for a correspondence course , or gather data that will give you informative insight into something you want to pursue .
Set up a video conference with an expert , and it will influence the way you move forward .
2 stars SCORPIO ( Oct. 23-Nov. 21 ) : Expand your horizons through research and checking into complex ways @ @ @ @ @ @ @ skills to help you advance .
Rearrange your workspace to suit your needs and to ensure that your productivity is optimal .
Start a creative project .
5 stars SAGITTARIUS ( Nov. 22-Dec. 21 ) : A proposal will interest you , but before you jump for joy , check out the source of information and verify the facts and figures .
Someone will exaggerate a situation to coax you to take part .
Be smart and stay safe .
3 stars CAPRICORN ( Dec. 22-Jan. 19 ) : You ’ ll feel @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your day fairly .
What ’ s happening in your personal life will need as much attention as your peers and colleagues .
Do your best to adjust as you go along .
Don ’ t leave anyone out of the loop .
3 stars AQUARIUS ( Jan. 20-Feb. 18 ) : Put more trust in yourself .
Don ’ t let someone beat you at your own game .
Set a goal , and proceed with the intent to finish what you start and to reap the rewards .
Physical and mental @ @ @ @ @ @ @ stars PISCES ( February 19-March 20 ) : A direct approach will help you flesh out any unforeseen problems that could hold you back .
Problems at home will surface if you aren ’ t honest about the way you feel .
Share your intentions , and find out where you stand .
5 stars Birthday Baby : You are compassionate , friendly and imaginative .
You are ambiguous and sensitive .

CELEBRITIES BORN ON THIS DAY: Aly Raisman, 26; Demetri Martin, 47; Octavia Spencer, 48; Mike Myers, 57.
Happy Birthday: Start a dialogue if you want to make progress this year. Gather information, and be the one to instigate what you want to happen. Show more discipline when it comes to working and finishing what you start. Truth matters, and how you handle people and situations will be reflected in the way others treat you. Charm alone will get you only so far. Your numbers are 4, 12, 25, 29, 36, 44, 48.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Pressure is mounting, and decisions will have to be put in place. Don’t trust outside information or an empty promise. Keep your dealings simple, a budget in place and what’s important to you at the top of your to-do list. 2 stars
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Be open about what you want to happen, and be willing to compromise and put up with the changes someone wants in order to make your plans acceptable. Follow your heart, and be prepared to make compensations to get what you want. 4 stars
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Pick up the pace. The more you do, the better the outcome. Idle time will lead to a problem with someone close to you. Work with what you’ve got, and avoid going over budget. Don’t fall for someone’s jargon. 3 stars
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Channel your emotions into something constructive. The less time you have to worry about what everyone is doing, the easier it will be for you to accomplish what you set out to do. Use your energy creatively, and avoid an argument. 3 stars
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A change will catch you by surprise. You’ll need to do some fancy footwork if you intend to stay on schedule and outmaneuver anyone who is trying to sabotage your plans. Don’t rely on others to do things for you. 3 stars
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A decision that can affect your reputation, status or position will require attention. Be open to change, but don’t give in to bribery or temptation. Set a goal, and verify facts before you take action. 4 stars
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Learn all you can. Sign up for a correspondence course, or gather data that will give you informative insight into something you want to pursue. Set up a video conference with an expert, and it will influence the way you move forward. 2 stars
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Expand your horizons through research and checking into complex ways to use your attributes, talents and skills to help you advance. Rearrange your workspace to suit your needs and to ensure that your productivity is optimal. Start a creative project. 5 stars
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A proposal will interest you, but before you jump for joy, check out the source of information and verify the facts and figures. Someone will exaggerate a situation to coax you to take part. Be smart and stay safe. 3 stars
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’ll feel stretched if you don’t balance your day fairly. What’s happening in your personal life will need as much attention as your peers and colleagues. Do your best to adjust as you go along. Don’t leave anyone out of the loop. 3 stars
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Put more trust in yourself. Don’t let someone beat you at your own game. Set a goal, and proceed with the intent to finish what you start and to reap the rewards. Physical and mental pursuits will boost your ego. 3 stars
PISCES (February 19-March 20): A direct approach will help you flesh out any unforeseen problems that could hold you back. Problems at home will surface if you aren’t honest about the way you feel. Share your intentions, and find out where you stand. 5 stars
Birthday Baby: You are compassionate, friendly and imaginative. You are ambiguous and sensitive.
Visit Eugenialast.com, or join Eugenia on Twitter/Facebook/LinkedIn.


Bridge: May 25, 2020

Unlucky Louie denies that life is like a box of chocolates .
He says that in his case it ’ s like a jar of jalapeno peppers .
Louie was today ’ s South .
His cue bid of two spades conventionally promised length in hearts and a minor suit .
North ’ s 4NT asked which minor .
At five diamonds , Louie took the ace of spades and tried the king , ace and queen of hearts , hoping to pitch dummy ’ s last spade , but West ruffed the third heart with his low trump .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ trumps , but when East refused to cover , Louie lost a spade and two trumps .
The door to 11 tricks was ajar .
At Trick Five , Louie must take the ace of clubs , then ruff a club and ruff a heart in dummy .
He ruffs a club and leads his good fifth heart .
The defenders are fixed .
If West ruffs with his ace , dummy ’ s spade goes away , and Louie loses only two trumps .
If instead West discards , dummy discards the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ but Louie later leads a trump , and the king and ace fall together .
You hold : S K Q 9 6 5 H J 9 7 6 D K 5 C K Q .
Your partner opens one spade , and you respond 2NT , a conventional forcing raise .
He next bids three hearts .
What do you say ?
ANSWER : After the conventional 2NT response , partner ’ s three hearts shows a singleton heart .
The idea is to let you judge whether you have useful honors @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 4NT , or bid three spades to urge him to cue-bid an ace .
With no slam interest , you would just bid four spades .

Unlucky Louie denies that life is like a box of chocolates. He says that in his case it’s like a jar of jalapeno peppers.
Louie was today’s South. His cue bid of two spades conventionally promised length in hearts and a minor suit. North’s 4NT asked which minor.
At five diamonds, Louie took the ace of spades and tried the king, ace and queen of hearts, hoping to pitch dummy’s last spade, but West ruffed the third heart with his low trump. Dummy overruffed and led the jack of trumps, but when East refused to cover, Louie lost a spade and two trumps.
CLUB RUFF
The door to 11 tricks was ajar. At Trick Five, Louie must take the ace of clubs, then ruff a club and ruff a heart in dummy. He ruffs a club and leads his good fifth heart.
The defenders are fixed. If West ruffs with his ace, dummy’s spade goes away, and Louie loses only two trumps. If instead West discards, dummy discards the spade. East can ruff low, but Louie later leads a trump, and the king and ace fall together.
DAILY QUESTION
You hold: S K Q 9 6 5 H J 9 7 6 D K 5 C K Q. Your partner opens one spade, and you respond 2NT, a conventional forcing raise. He next bids three hearts. What do you say?
ANSWER: After the conventional 2NT response, partner’s three hearts shows a singleton heart. The idea is to let you judge whether you have useful honors. Your hand is promising. Bid 4NT, or bid three spades to urge him to cue-bid an ace. With no slam interest, you would just bid four spades.
East dealer
Both sides vulnerable
NORTH
S A 3
H K 4
D J 9 7 3
C A 8 6 4 2
WEST
S J 10 7 4
H 10 5
D A 2
C J 10 9 7 3
EAST
S K Q 9 6 5
H J 9 7 6
D K 5
C K Q
SOUTH
S 8 2
H A Q 8 3 2
D Q 10 8 6 4
C 5
East South West North
1 S 2 S 3 S 4 NT
Pass 5 D All Pass
Opening lead — S J
(C)2020 TRIBUNE CONTENT AGENCY, LLC.


mercurynews--2020-05-25--Ask Amy: She’s convinced we’ve been begging her for a three-way for 20 years

DEAR AMY : Out of the blue , my best friend of 45 years called to tell me something “ uncomfortable ” that had been bothering her for about 20 years .
What she said literally caused me to jump right out of my chair .
She declared that over the past 20 years or so , my husband and I had asked her to join us in a “ threesome ” multiple times .
I was stunned , and asked her what she was talking about .
She said that many times over dinner , we had been whispering @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that we wanted to have sex with her .
She said she couldn ’ t remember any specifics .
My husband and I are very flirty together , but I can ’ t imagine we ever said or did anything untoward .
• Ask Amy : I ’ m an engineer with poor people skills , and I ’ m getting these agitated calls • Ask Amy : If they were good people , they would obey coronavirus rules • Ask Amy : I want out of our California bubble , but my @ @ @ @ @ @ @ My younger wife resents my common-sense rules • Ask Amy : My neighbor ’ s invitation was nuts , but of course I can ’ t say that She had no explanation for why she continued to visit us without saying anything .
She said she just hoped it would stop , but realized it wouldn ’ t .
First of all , we have never entertained this idea — with anyone .
She said I was her best friend , but she didn ’ t feel “ like that ” about me @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I didn ’ t feel that way about her , either .
I told her I understood that she was feeling very upset , but what she was suggesting never happened .
She then insisted that I take responsibility .
I honestly thought that she might be having a breakdown .
Her life has been challenging for the last few years , and she seems to be floundering .
I ’ m reluctant to write her off completely due to our very long history , but I ’ m shocked and angry , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in my house again .
My husband is done with her .
Can this friendship be saved ?
DEAR CROWD : No , I don ’ t think this friendship can be saved — at least in its previous form .
Because this accusation seems so out of bounds , you might assume that she is experiencing some cognitive changes that have brought on emotional instability and this strange accusation .
I hope you can see your way to adopt a compassionate stance toward her .
Do not admit to something you haven @ @ @ @ @ @ @ write her off .
Express concern for her and urge her to get a medical checkup to make sure she ’ s OK. DEAR AMY : I ’ m a 19-year-old woman , and have been in a stable and happy relationship with my boyfriend for the last 18 months .
He isn ’ t my first love , but I ’ d say that he is my first serious relationship .
Well , last year I had the epiphany that I ’ m bisexual .
Before being in a relationship with my @ @ @ @ @ @ @ girls , after high school graduation , to see what it was like .
However , now I feel like I met the right person for me , and I see us settling down , possibly permanently .
I ’ m conflicted .
I do want to have “ fun , ” but I already found the right guy .
Do you have any advice for me ?
DEAR CONFLICTED : Congratulations !
You found the right guy .
If you two are in a mutually monogamous , exclusive relationship , then I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ It is completely appropriate to wonder if a committed relationship will be the end of “ fun , ” especially at your age .
This is your mind and body telling you that you are not ready to lock yourself down for the rest of your life .
As you write , your boyfriend is your “ first serious relationship.
” This tells me that you are aware that there will likely be other relationships .
And yes , if you are interested in dating women , then – if your current relationship @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Until then , don ’ t get pregnant , don ’ t get married , and enjoy this while it lasts .
DEAR AMY : Do not give any advice about the COVID virus .
In a response to a question from “ Recovering in the Pacific NW , ” you said that people could get this virus twice .
That is not true !
Latent virus might stay in the body and the illness might reappear .
This is not being re-infected .
DEAR UPSET : I wrote : “ …As @ @ @ @ @ @ @ reports of people possibly having this illness more than once.
” The information about COVID is refreshed and refined daily .
I don ’ t offer medical advice , and only report information released by the CDC — and even then , with many qualifiers .
My columns are written two weeks in advance of publication , and can not keep pace with research about this disease .
That ’ s why I focus on relationship issues , and this pandemic has raised many of those .
You can email Amy Dickinson at @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to Ask Amy , P.O .
Box 194 , Freeville , NY 13068 .
You can also follow her on Twitter @ askingamy or Facebook .

DEAR AMY: Out of the blue, my best friend of 45 years called to tell me something “uncomfortable” that had been bothering her for about 20 years.
What she said literally caused me to jump right out of my chair.
She declared that over the past 20 years or so, my husband and I had asked her to join us in a “threesome” multiple times.
I was stunned, and asked her what she was talking about. She said that many times over dinner, we had been whispering together and then made suggestions to her that we wanted to have sex with her. She said she couldn’t remember any specifics.
My husband and I are very flirty together, but I can’t imagine we ever said or did anything untoward.
Related Articles Advice | Ask Amy: I found the videos she posted about me, with all the demeaning comments
Ask Amy: I found the videos she posted about me, with all the demeaning comments Advice | Ask Amy: My fiance wants me to stay home. Should I bolt?
Ask Amy: My fiance wants me to stay home. Should I bolt? Advice | Ask Amy: Why did she react that way? It was a compliment!
Ask Amy: Why did she react that way? It was a compliment! Advice | Ask Amy: I’ve told them they need therapy, and they refuse to do it. What now?
Ask Amy: I’ve told them they need therapy, and they refuse to do it. What now? Advice | Ask Amy: The man I love is my grandchild’s uncle, and things have gotten messy She had no explanation for why she continued to visit us without saying anything. She said she just hoped it would stop, but realized it wouldn’t.
First of all, we have never entertained this idea — with anyone.
She said I was her best friend, but she didn’t feel “like that” about me and began to cry. I said I didn’t feel that way about her, either.
I told her I understood that she was feeling very upset, but what she was suggesting never happened. She then insisted that I take responsibility.
I honestly thought that she might be having a breakdown. Her life has been challenging for the last few years, and she seems to be floundering.
I’m reluctant to write her off completely due to our very long history, but I’m shocked and angry, and I’ll never allow her in my house again.
My husband is done with her. Can this friendship be saved?
Three’s a Crowd
DEAR CROWD: No, I don’t think this friendship can be saved — at least in its previous form.
Because this accusation seems so out of bounds, you might assume that she is experiencing some cognitive changes that have brought on emotional instability and this strange accusation.
I hope you can see your way to adopt a compassionate stance toward her. Do not admit to something you haven’t done, but do not write her off.
Express concern for her and urge her to get a medical checkup to make sure she’s OK.
DEAR AMY: I’m a 19-year-old woman, and have been in a stable and happy relationship with my boyfriend for the last 18 months. He isn’t my first love, but I’d say that he is my first serious relationship.
Well, last year I had the epiphany that I’m bisexual.
Before being in a relationship with my boyfriend, I considered having flings with girls, after high school graduation, to see what it was like. However, now I feel like I met the right person for me, and I see us settling down, possibly permanently.
I’m conflicted. I do want to have “fun,” but I already found the right guy.
Do you have any advice for me?
Conflicted
DEAR CONFLICTED: Congratulations! You found the right guy. If you two are in a mutually monogamous, exclusive relationship, then I suggest you continue to enjoy it.
It is completely appropriate to wonder if a committed relationship will be the end of “fun,” especially at your age. This is your mind and body telling you that you are not ready to lock yourself down for the rest of your life.
As you write, your boyfriend is your “first serious relationship.” This tells me that you are aware that there will likely be other relationships. And yes, if you are interested in dating women, then – if your current relationship ends, you should go for it.
Until then, don’t get pregnant, don’t get married, and enjoy this while it lasts.
DEAR AMY: Do not give any advice about the COVID virus. In a response to a question from “Recovering in the Pacific NW,” you said that people could get this virus twice. That is not true! Latent virus might stay in the body and the illness might reappear. This is not being re-infected.
Upset
DEAR UPSET: I wrote: “…As of this writing, there are some reports of people possibly having this illness more than once.”
The information about COVID is refreshed and refined daily. I don’t offer medical advice, and only report information released by the CDC — and even then, with many qualifiers.
My columns are written two weeks in advance of publication, and cannot keep pace with research about this disease. That’s why I focus on relationship issues, and this pandemic has raised many of those.
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.


mercurynews--2020-05-25--Letter: Think there’s a housing crisis now? Just wait for the rent relief plan

If you think we have a housing crisis now , just wait until state officials put the rent relief repayment plan in place .
If you make it economically unfeasible for landlords to invest in housing for tenants , then the COVID-19 will look like a “ walk in the park.
” As “ mom-and-pop ” landlords , we depend on rental income to pay the mortgage , property taxes , income taxes , insurance , HOA dues , repairs and manager fees necessary to provide our tenants with decent housing .
Those who invest millions in housing for tenants @ @ @ @ @ @ @ if you make it a liability to build and provide housing .
• Letter : Leaders aren ’ t elected to do what they think best • Letter : Will Rep. Lee support bill to help dialysis patients ?
• Letter : Are you ready to die for your economy ?
• Letter : Leaders rule based on fear for us , rather than trust in us Are state leaders going to have the now homeless tenant live with them ?
Rethink what you ’ re doing .
Submit your letter to the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to the Editor

Don’t force landlords to
stop investing in housing
Re: “Creative California plan to avoid post-pandemic evictions” (Editorial, Eastbaytimes.com, May 15):
If you think we have a housing crisis now, just wait until state officials put the rent relief repayment plan in place.
If you make it economically unfeasible for landlords to invest in housing for tenants, then the COVID-19 will look like a “walk in the park.”
As “mom-and-pop” landlords, we depend on rental income to pay the mortgage, property taxes, income taxes, insurance, HOA dues, repairs and manager fees necessary to provide our tenants with decent housing.
Those who invest millions in housing for tenants will also bail out of providing housing if you make it a liability to build and provide housing.
Related Articles Letters to the Editor | Letters: Escape Bay Area | CASA program | Feinstein replacement | Faulty comparison | Not conservatives
Letters: Escape Bay Area | CASA program | Feinstein replacement | Faulty comparison | Not conservatives Letters to the Editor | Letters: Psychiatric beds | SJSU neglect | Squandering cash | Overdoing coverage | Pac-12 negotiations | For climate’s sake | Electric appliances
Letters: Psychiatric beds | SJSU neglect | Squandering cash | Overdoing coverage | Pac-12 negotiations | For climate’s sake | Electric appliances Letters to the Editor | Letters: Abandoning tenants | Deaf culture | Western contributions | Conservative alienation | Precise language
Letters: Abandoning tenants | Deaf culture | Western contributions | Conservative alienation | Precise language Letters to the Editor | Letters: Insulate wires | CDE was wrong | Functional Chromebooks | Trump’s ego | Healthy debate | A new path
Letters: Insulate wires | CDE was wrong | Functional Chromebooks | Trump’s ego | Healthy debate | A new path Letters to the Editor | Letters: Local solar | Titan resources | Activism helps Are state leaders going to have the now homeless tenant live with them? Rethink what you’re doing.
Jack and Sharon Martorella
Walnut Creek
Submit your letter to the editor via this form
Read more Letters to the Editor


mercurynews--2020-05-25--Harriette Cole: I’m afraid my mom will die if this goes on much longer

DEAR HARRIETTE : My mom lives in a retirement community , and she has been quarantined for more than two months now .
She can ’ t come out of her tiny apartment for any reason .
They drop off food packages to her each day and pick up the trash every week .
We hired an attendant to organize her meds and to give her a shower , so there is one person who puts her eyes on my mom .
But she is deteriorating .
When we talk on FaceTime , we can see that she ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ puts on street clothes .
She doesn ’ t fix her hair or put on makeup .
I am so worried that if we aren ’ t allowed to see her soon , she will perish .
But the community is strict , and they will not allow my family to enter the building .
What can I do ?
DEAR SAVING MOM : Contact her doctor and ask for advice .
In most cases , medical professionals are saying that it ’ s safer to keep elders sequestered — even though they @ @ @ @ @ @ @ they are isolated from the virus .
• Harriette Cole : We found letters from dad ’ s other woman but my mom won ’ t let me read them • Harriette Cole : I overheard what he asked my teenage daughter • Harriette Cole : Why won ’ t they invite me to their online parties ?
• Harriette Cole : I walked in on my daughter and saw sex on her screen • Harriette Cole : The women all turn off their video .
Is that OK ?
That said , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ social isolation is real .
Schedule an in-person doctor ’ s visit so she can get checked both physically and mentally .
If you can take her , that would be one time you can see each other .
Talk to the attendant you ’ ve hired .
If possible , arrange for that person to stay a little longer each day and keep your mother company .
Have that person get your mother to tell stories and reminisce .
Do the same when you call your mother .
Ask her stories that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
For more ideas , go to homecareassistance.com/blog/activities-to-keep-seniors-engaged-during-covid-19 .
DEAR HARRIETTE : I ’ m worried that my best friend is going to be homeless soon .
She lost her job at the beginning of the pandemic .
She wasn ’ t making much money and had very little savings .
She did get the stimulus check , but that only bought a few groceries one single time .
Right now , she is safe because the governor has suspended evictions , but what happens this summer ?
I am wondering if I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with me .
I have a small house with very little room , but it would put a roof over her head .
Obviously , that isn ’ t ideal , but I can ’ t watch my friend be put out on the street .
If I do bring her into my home , I feel like I have to establish house rules .
She and I live very differently .
I don ’ t want to strain our friendship or drive us crazy .
What do you think ?
DEAR RESCUING @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to be generous with our loved ones .
If you can bring your best friend in , that would be a blessing .
Talk to her about the idea .
Be honest : You know it won ’ t be easy , but she is welcome .
If she wants to come , talk about how you run your home and what your expectations of her would be .
Agree that you will talk through any questions or issues as they arise .
Establish a month down the line when you will revisit @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS , an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams .
You can send questions to askharriette @ harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication , 1130 Walnut St. , Kansas City , MO 64106 .

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom lives in a retirement community, and she has been quarantined for more than two months now. She can’t come out of her tiny apartment for any reason.
They drop off food packages to her each day and pick up the trash every week. We hired an attendant to organize her meds and to give her a shower, so there is one person who puts her eyes on my mom.
But she is deteriorating. When we talk on FaceTime, we can see that she’s not doing well. She no longer puts on street clothes. She doesn’t fix her hair or put on makeup.
I am so worried that if we aren’t allowed to see her soon, she will perish. But the community is strict, and they will not allow my family to enter the building. What can I do?
Saving Mom
DEAR SAVING MOM: Contact her doctor and ask for advice. In most cases, medical professionals are saying that it’s safer to keep elders sequestered — even though they are bored during this period — because they are isolated from the virus.
Related Articles Advice | Harriette Cole: Was it rash to choose this job over my boyfriend’s objections?
Harriette Cole: Was it rash to choose this job over my boyfriend’s objections? Advice | Harriette Cole: What does it mean that my boyfriend’s sister called me by this name?
Harriette Cole: What does it mean that my boyfriend’s sister called me by this name? Advice | Harriette Cole: Our guest walked through a closed screen door. Is it our problem?
Harriette Cole: Our guest walked through a closed screen door. Is it our problem? Advice | Harriette Cole: I’m ashamed to tell people I forgave my childhood friend
Harriette Cole: I’m ashamed to tell people I forgave my childhood friend Advice | Harriette Cole: I’ve worked hard, and my poor siblings resent my success That said, the risk of depression due to extended social isolation is real. Schedule an in-person doctor’s visit so she can get checked both physically and mentally. If you can take her, that would be one time you can see each other.
Talk to the attendant you’ve hired. If possible, arrange for that person to stay a little longer each day and keep your mother company. Have that person get your mother to tell stories and reminisce. Do the same when you call your mother. Ask her stories that will jog her memory about her life.
For more ideas, go to homecareassistance.com/blog/activities-to-keep-seniors-engaged-during-covid-19.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m worried that my best friend is going to be homeless soon. She lost her job at the beginning of the pandemic. She wasn’t making much money and had very little savings. She did get the stimulus check, but that only bought a few groceries one single time. Right now, she is safe because the governor has suspended evictions, but what happens this summer?
I am wondering if I should invite her to come and stay with me. I have a small house with very little room, but it would put a roof over her head. Obviously, that isn’t ideal, but I can’t watch my friend be put out on the street.
If I do bring her into my home, I feel like I have to establish house rules. She and I live very differently. I don’t want to strain our friendship or drive us crazy. What do you think?
Rescuing a Friend
DEAR RESCUING A FRIEND: Now is the time to be generous with our loved ones. If you can bring your best friend in, that would be a blessing.
Talk to her about the idea. Be honest: You know it won’t be easy, but she is welcome. If she wants to come, talk about how you run your home and what your expectations of her would be. Agree that you will talk through any questions or issues as they arise. Establish a month down the line when you will revisit how long she will stay.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


mercurynews--2020-05-25--Miss Manners: How should one confront strangers who are breaking the rules?

GENTLE READERS : Minding other people ’ s business , which has always been a major etiquette hazard , has taken on the noble mantle of ministering to public health .
To the extent that people are out and about , there are also vigilantes who are vehemently scolding strangers , if not making citizens ’ arrests .
The rationale is that etiquette is suspended in an emergency .
Well , yes and no .
Miss Manners does not quibble with suspending the rule against shouting at strangers when the occasion arises to shout “ Help !
” But that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and not an insult .
In the opposite situation , when one seems to be in danger from others , tact is required — for the sake of being effective , as well as respectful .
We all know the rules about staying home when sick , keeping our distance and washing our hands .
They must be enforced .
• Miss Manners : Who is the rude theatergoer in this tale ?
• Miss Manners : I waved and kept walking .
Was that rude ?
• Miss Manners : This germ-spreading @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Miss Manners : I ’ m hurt that the bride turned down my gift • Miss Manners : Why is my weight the first thing people mention ?
But that does not give license to the sort of people who , under normal conditions , would be telling you that you are too fat or too thin , that you should get married or divorced , that you should change jobs or retire , and have or stop having children .
What they are doing now is summarily ordering people to go home @ @ @ @ @ @ @ out .
Even strict quarantines recognize the need to buy food and medicine , to exercise and to tend to those in severe need .
And never mind that those disciplinarians are outside themselves , or they wouldn ’ t be within shouting distance .
We all also know that coughing can be lethal .
But as any performer can tell you , there are plenty of coughs that don ’ t harm others , but may arise from asthma , acid reflux or allergies — or from simply being in an audience @ @ @ @ @ @ @ is as unhelpful as it is mean .
Yes , even at symphony concerts .
But what about those who actually are breaking the basic rules ?
Then it takes tact to be effective .
Reforming strangers only works when it assumes mistaken goodwill ( “ I think we need more distance here — that ’ s not 6 feet ” ) and allows them to comply without enduring public embarrassment .
Even if they deserve to be ashamed of themselves .
DEAR MISS MANNERS : I gave my cousin ’ s son @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with many vintage fishing lures .
I guess it was not much appreciated , because I never received a thank-you .
What can I do about that ?
GENTLE READER : Not throw good tackle after bad .
Miss Manners believes that ignoring presents is a sign that they are unwelcome .
DEAR MISS MANNERS : We ’ ll soon be visiting a relative who moved into his home less than a year ago .
My wife and I agree that a housewarming gift is appropriate , but agree on little else .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ of toilet paper is adequate , but my wife feels that I am being cheap .
She thinks we should give two rolls , which I think would be ostentatious .
Would you please settle this argument ?
( We ’ re talking two-ply here . )
GENTLE READER : Tee-hee .
But if Miss Manners declared a winner , you would only have to think of another way to amuse yourselves in confinement .
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website , www.missmanners.com ; to her email , dearmissmanners @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to Miss Manners , Andrews McMeel Syndication , 1130 Walnut St. , Kansas City , MO 64106 .

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin

GENTLE READERS: Minding other people’s business, which has always been a major etiquette hazard, has taken on the noble mantle of ministering to public health. To the extent that people are out and about, there are also vigilantes who are vehemently scolding strangers, if not making citizens’ arrests.
The rationale is that etiquette is suspended in an emergency.
Well, yes and no. Miss Manners does not quibble with suspending the rule against shouting at strangers when the occasion arises to shout “Help!” But that is a request, however urgent, and not an insult.
In the opposite situation, when one seems to be in danger from others, tact is required — for the sake of being effective, as well as respectful.
We all know the rules about staying home when sick, keeping our distance and washing our hands. They must be enforced.
Related Articles Advice | Miss Manners: They come to my house and yell at my dog
Miss Manners: They come to my house and yell at my dog Advice | Miss Manners: Why are parents miffed at me? They’re the ones who spell the kids’ names wrong.
Miss Manners: Why are parents miffed at me? They’re the ones who spell the kids’ names wrong. Advice | Miss Manners: She’s so rich, but she never gives us anything
Miss Manners: She’s so rich, but she never gives us anything Advice | Miss Manners: She wants to turn our music festival into a get-drunk weekend
Miss Manners: She wants to turn our music festival into a get-drunk weekend Advice | Miss Manners: My rule is no gift for a second wedding, no attendance for a third But that does not give license to the sort of people who, under normal conditions, would be telling you that you are too fat or too thin, that you should get married or divorced, that you should change jobs or retire, and have or stop having children.
What they are doing now is summarily ordering people to go home, without knowledge of why they are out. Even strict quarantines recognize the need to buy food and medicine, to exercise and to tend to those in severe need.
And never mind that those disciplinarians are outside themselves, or they wouldn’t be within shouting distance.
We all also know that coughing can be lethal. But as any performer can tell you, there are plenty of coughs that don’t harm others, but may arise from asthma, acid reflux or allergies — or from simply being in an audience. Targeting such people as public enemies is as unhelpful as it is mean. Yes, even at symphony concerts.
But what about those who actually are breaking the basic rules? Then it takes tact to be effective. Reforming strangers only works when it assumes mistaken goodwill (“I think we need more distance here — that’s not 6 feet”) and allows them to comply without enduring public embarrassment. Even if they deserve to be ashamed of themselves.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I gave my cousin’s son a gift of a 1950s tackle box with many vintage fishing lures. I guess it was not much appreciated, because I never received a thank-you. What can I do about that?
GENTLE READER: Not throw good tackle after bad. Miss Manners believes that ignoring presents is a sign that they are unwelcome.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We’ll soon be visiting a relative who moved into his home less than a year ago. My wife and I agree that a housewarming gift is appropriate, but agree on little else.
You see, I think one roll of toilet paper is adequate, but my wife feels that I am being cheap. She thinks we should give two rolls, which I think would be ostentatious. Would you please settle this argument? (We’re talking two-ply here.)
GENTLE READER: Tee-hee. But if Miss Manners declared a winner, you would only have to think of another way to amuse yourselves in confinement.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.


mercurynews--2020-05-25--Dear Abby: We might as well advertise our home to intruders

DEAR ABBY : My husband has a bad habit of forgetting to lock up our house at night when he ’ s the last one to come to bed .
On nine occasions I have gone downstairs after he ’ s in bed or awakened in the morning to find our sliding patio door or a garage door unlocked .
I can not understand why this isn ’ t a priority for him .
If I ’ m the last one to come up for the night , I make sure each door is locked , lights are off , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a minute .
• Dear Abby : I was horrified by this woman ’ s risky behavior at the chicken counter • Dear Abby : She won ’ t sleep with me and doesn ’ t like talking , either • Dear Abby : I ’ m ready to move out because of her nighttime disturbances • Dear Abby : His cruel rant about me was caught on video • Dear Abby : I know the truth about my ‘ perfect ’ friend We live in a suburb , and while our neighborhood @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ m not naive .
I realize anything can happen anywhere .
We have two large dogs , but I have no idea how they ’ d react to an intruder .
Frankly , I don ’ t want to find out the hard way .
The most frustrating thing about this is , when I try to talk to him about it the next day , he blows it off and says our dogs would never let anyone get far , or he makes a joke about it .
I ’ ve @ @ @ @ @ @ @ calm and sweet to solutions-focused : “ How can I help you remember ?
” Recently , likely because I ’ m 37 weeks pregnant with our second child , I lost it and chewed him out after I waddled out of bed to go downstairs and found our sliding door unlocked .
Needless to say , it didn ’ t work very well .
I ’ m at my wits ’ end .
It was one thing when it was just the two of us , but now we ’ re about @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and I get furious thinking he could be putting all of us in danger .
He has taken no responsibility or steps toward fixing this .
I have now reached the conclusion that when I ’ m home , I must be the one who assumes the responsibility of ensuring our home is secure before we go to bed .
But what if I fall asleep early or if I have to travel for work ?
Any ideas on how to address this with him ?
DEAR LOSING : You have already addressed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ is so careless about the safety of his wife and children is shocking .
He appears to be very immature .
Because he seems incapable of assuming any responsibility for locking up , you are going to have to do it .
There are high-tech ways to remotely lock doors from afar , and you should explore that option .
Also , for your own peace of mind , have a professional dog trainer or other experienced dog person enter your home through the unlocked door while you and your husband are upstairs @ @ @ @ @ @ @ not attack a stranger , they might alert you to the presence of an intruder .
I suggest this because many years ago my very tame German shepherd did exactly that .
DEAR ABBY : Due to the coronavirus epidemic , handshaking is no longer being practiced .
I have never been a fan of handshaking anyway .
In the future , it may be acceptable to forgo handshaking altogether .
What will be the best way to avoid it without seeming unfriendly or germophobic ?
DEAR RESISTING : Try doing what I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in front of my chest as though praying , smile and greet the person .
No one has been offended by it , and it ’ s a common way people greet each other in India .
DEAR READERS : Along with the millions of Americans who are observing this Memorial Day , I add my prayer of thanks for those courageous men and women who sacrificed their lives in service to our country .
May they rest in peace .
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren , also known as @ @ @ @ @ @ @ her mother , Pauline Phillips .
Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O .
Box 69440 , Los Angeles , CA 90069 .

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a bad habit of forgetting to lock up our house at night when he’s the last one to come to bed.
On nine occasions I have gone downstairs after he’s in bed or awakened in the morning to find our sliding patio door or a garage door unlocked.
I cannot understand why this isn’t a priority for him. If I’m the last one to come up for the night, I make sure each door is locked, lights are off, etc. It takes me less than a minute.
Related Articles Advice | Dear Abby: Is it weird that I think this actress could be my sister?
Dear Abby: Is it weird that I think this actress could be my sister? Advice | Dear Abby: Why are people so rude to me lately? I’m a nice guy.
Dear Abby: Why are people so rude to me lately? I’m a nice guy. Advice | Dear Abby: My financial adviser won’t listen to me, but he insists he’s not sexist
Dear Abby: My financial adviser won’t listen to me, but he insists he’s not sexist Advice | Dear Abby: Our teen’s messy breakup has had awkward repercussions for us
Dear Abby: Our teen’s messy breakup has had awkward repercussions for us Advice | Dear Abby: I was annoyed to discover why our friends picked this restaurant We live in a suburb, and while our neighborhood is relatively safe and quiet, I’m not naive. I realize anything can happen anywhere. We have two large dogs, but I have no idea how they’d react to an intruder. Frankly, I don’t want to find out the hard way.
The most frustrating thing about this is, when I try to talk to him about it the next day, he blows it off and says our dogs would never let anyone get far, or he makes a joke about it.
I’ve tried many different approaches, from being calm and sweet to solutions-focused: “How can I help you remember?”
Recently, likely because I’m 37 weeks pregnant with our second child, I lost it and chewed him out after I waddled out of bed to go downstairs and found our sliding door unlocked. Needless to say, it didn’t work very well.
I’m at my wits’ end. It was one thing when it was just the two of us, but now we’re about to have two kids under 2, and I get furious thinking he could be putting all of us in danger. He has taken no responsibility or steps toward fixing this.
I have now reached the conclusion that when I’m home, I must be the one who assumes the responsibility of ensuring our home is secure before we go to bed. But what if I fall asleep early or if I have to travel for work? Any ideas on how to address this with him?
LOSING SLEEP OVER THIS
DEAR LOSING: You have already addressed this with your husband. That he is so careless about the safety of his wife and children is shocking. He appears to be very immature.
Because he seems incapable of assuming any responsibility for locking up, you are going to have to do it. There are high-tech ways to remotely lock doors from afar, and you should explore that option.
Also, for your own peace of mind, have a professional dog trainer or other experienced dog person enter your home through the unlocked door while you and your husband are upstairs, because, while the dogs might not attack a stranger, they might alert you to the presence of an intruder. I suggest this because many years ago my very tame German shepherd did exactly that.
DEAR ABBY: Due to the coronavirus epidemic, handshaking is no longer being practiced. I have never been a fan of handshaking anyway.
In the future, it may be acceptable to forgo handshaking altogether. What will be the best way to avoid it without seeming unfriendly or germophobic?
RESISTING IN MINNESOTA
DEAR RESISTING: Try doing what I do. I place both palms together in front of my chest as though praying, smile and greet the person. No one has been offended by it, and it’s a common way people greet each other in India.
DEAR READERS: Along with the millions of Americans who are observing this Memorial Day, I add my prayer of thanks for those courageous men and women who sacrificed their lives in service to our country. May they rest in peace.
ABBY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.