thespoof--2020-05-27--Nancy Pelosi Reveals That Donald Trump Hit on Her in 1993

WASHINGTON , D.C. – There is something that only a few individuals who know Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi are aware of .
Pelosi revealed to CNN ’ s Don Lemon that Donald Trump hit on her back in September of 1993 .
The 80-year-old Pelosi , with tears in her eyes , explained to Lemon that she was only 53 , when the incident occurred .
When asked what happened , she simply said that she was wearing a two-piece bikini swimsuit , and he just could n't control himself .
She divulged that Trump suddenly put his @ @ @ @ @ @ @ back , and told her that she was one hot , sexy mama .
Pelosi then disclosed that he asked her if she wanted to go back to his apartment , and check out his golf ball collection .
She quickly let him know , in no uncertain terms , that she did not care to see his balls .
When Trump was asked about this incident , he said that he has never met Nancy Pelosi , and added that he is only attracted to young , sexy , lascivious Republican women @

WASHINGTON, D.C. – There is something that only a few individuals who know Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi are aware of.
Pelosi revealed to CNN’s Don Lemon that Donald Trump hit on her back in September of 1993.
The 80-year-old Pelosi, with tears in her eyes, explained to Lemon that she was only 53, when the incident occurred.
When asked what happened, she simply said that she was wearing a two-piece bikini swimsuit, and he just couldn't control himself.
She divulged that Trump suddenly put his little-bitty hand on the small of her back, and told her that she was one hot, sexy mama.
Pelosi then disclosed that he asked her if she wanted to go back to his apartment, and check out his golf ball collection.
She quickly let him know, in no uncertain terms, that she did not care to see his balls.
When Trump was asked about this incident, he said that he has never met Nancy Pelosi, and added that he is only attracted to young, sexy, lascivious Republican women.


thespoof--2020-05-27--SpaceX Launch Scrubbed; Private Enterprisers Can't Beat Mother Nature

Cape Canaveral , Fla. Shawn Insanity reporting for SOB - Spoof On Business .
You might wonder why Spoof On Business is covering the now scrubbed SpaceX Dragon launch to ferry two astronauts to the Space Station .
Not a mystery if you were watching Fox News Channel 's hours-long ode to private enterprise , entrepreneurship and commercialism , which passed as news coverage of the first non-governmental passenger flight to the space station .
While the weather was eventually the culprit that spoiled the privatizers party , the most dangerous part of the afternoon was that nine-mile ride the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in a Tesla .
Rumor has it that Elon Musk was at the wheel , in auto pilot mode , but there was no oncoming traffic so the worried astronauts made the trip successfully .
There were frequent references to the fact that this was the first mission to carry American astronauts to the space station from the U. S. in years and years .
Little mention , however , was made of the push by privateers over a decade ago to cancel the NASA-operated space shuttle so that the privatizers , like @ @ @ @ @ @ @ so well for years .
Everything has to be done through private enterprise - private prisons , private traffic ticket collection agencies , private space flights .
Fox News , which spent several hours covering the aborted lift-off , also spent about as much time praising the commercial nature of the mission as it did the importance of the launch itself .
Ah yes , if it were n't for our entrepreneurs we 'd still be on the ground .
But , as of 4:30 pm Eastern time , the Dragon was also @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for some time to come .

Cape Canaveral, Fla. Shawn Insanity reporting for SOB - Spoof On Business. You might wonder why Spoof On Business is covering the now scrubbed SpaceX Dragon launch to ferry two astronauts to the Space Station. Not a mystery if you were watching Fox News Channel's hours-long ode to private enterprise, entrepreneurship and commercialism, which passed as news coverage of the first non-governmental passenger flight to the space station.
While the weather was eventually the culprit that spoiled the privatizers party, the most dangerous part of the afternoon was that nine-mile ride the astronauts took to the launch pad... in a Tesla. Rumor has it that Elon Musk was at the wheel, in auto pilot mode, but there was no oncoming traffic so the worried astronauts made the trip successfully.
There were frequent references to the fact that this was the first mission to carry American astronauts to the space station from the U. S. in years and years. Little mention, however, was made of the push by privateers over a decade ago to cancel the NASA-operated space shuttle so that the privatizers, like Musk, can do what NASA did so well for years. Everything has to be done through private enterprise - private prisons, private traffic ticket collection agencies, private space flights.
Fox News, which spent several hours covering the aborted lift-off, also spent about as much time praising the commercial nature of the mission as it did the importance of the launch itself. Ah yes, if it weren't for our entrepreneurs we'd still be on the ground. But, as of 4:30 pm Eastern time, the Dragon was also still on the ground... and perhaps for some time to come.


thespoof--2020-05-27--140 Trillion Dollar Stimulus Package

140 Trillion Dollar Stimulus Package

$ 140 trillion is not a misprint .
It is 9am , and you heard it here first .
Here ’ s how it occurred .
At a hastily-convened 6am meeting , President Trump told his cabinet that he “ realized ” when he was twittering at 3am , that , for $ 10 trillion , we could give every one of our 100 million households a million dollars .
At this point , Treasury Secretary , Steven R. Mnuchin ( “ Munchkin ” ) , who is pretty good with numbers , spoke up : Munchkin : “ Mr @ @ @ @ @ @ @ million households , not 100 million , and 1 million times 140 million is 140 trillion .
At this point , Trump glowered at Munchkin before going on : “ What are you trying to say , Steven ?
” Munchkin had seen the Trump glower previously , when it was directed at officials such as former Secretary of State , Rex Tillerson , and former Chief of Staff , John Kelly .
Munchkin does not want to be the former Secretary of the Treasury , and he recovered quickly .
“ It @ @ @ @ @ @ @ but that shouldn ’ t be a problem.
” Munchkin : “ Yes , Mr. President .
I think it ’ s terrific .
No other president in the history of the United States will have made so many people so much better off in such a short time.
” The meeting ended at 6:30am with the cabinet unanimously supporting the initiative .
The measure is almost certain to pass .
Trump likes the package , because it will make him “ the greatest wealth-creating president in the history of our nation.
” @ @ @ @ @ @ @ because Trump endorses it ; principled outliers , such as Senator Ben Sasse , can be sure of facing a challenger in their next primary .
Trump has already tweeted : “ Kick Sasse out on his asse.
” There is also broad bi-partisan support .
Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer like the idea , because it will expand the tax base .
Even AOC and Bernie Sanders like the idea , because if everyone is a millionaire , no one will have to work , and that ’ ll lead to a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ expected to endorse the proposal once he wakes up , and Jill tells him that he should .

$140 trillion is not a misprint. It is 9am, and you heard it here first. Here’s how it occurred. At a hastily-convened 6am meeting, President Trump told his cabinet that he “realized” when he was twittering at 3am, that, for $10 trillion, we could give every one of our 100 million households a million dollars.
At this point, Treasury Secretary, Steven R. Mnuchin (“Munchkin”), who is pretty good with numbers, spoke up:
Munchkin: “Mr. President, we have about 140 million households, not 100 million, and 1 million times 140 million is 140 trillion.
At this point, Trump glowered at Munchkin before going on: “What are you trying to say, Steven?”
Munchkin had seen the Trump glower previously, when it was directed at officials such as former Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson, and former Chief of Staff, John Kelly. Munchkin does not want to be the former Secretary of the Treasury, and he recovered quickly.
“It’ll cost $140 trillion, but that shouldn’t be a problem.”
Trump: “So you’ll support my idea.”
Munchkin: “Yes, Mr. President. I think it’s terrific. No other president in the history of the United States will have made so many people so much better off in such a short time.”
The meeting ended at 6:30am with the cabinet unanimously supporting the initiative.
The measure is almost certain to pass. Trump likes the package, because it will make him “the greatest wealth-creating president in the history of our nation.” Most Republicans will support the stimulus, because Trump endorses it; principled outliers, such as Senator Ben Sasse, can be sure of facing a challenger in their next primary. Trump has already tweeted: “Kick Sasse out on his asse.”
There is also broad bi-partisan support. Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer like the idea, because it will expand the tax base. Even AOC and Bernie Sanders like the idea, because if everyone is a millionaire, no one will have to work, and that’ll lead to a better climate. Sleepy Joe Biden is expected to endorse the proposal once he wakes up, and Jill tells him that he should.


thespoof--2020-05-27--Hail the Venerable Trump!

Hail the Venerable Trump!

So now it 's official .
The people of America are celebrating and dancing in the streets.They 've toiled and sweat blood to give him space and time to spread his word .
They need him .
They love him .
Americans have finally succumbed to the soft-spoken scalliwag defying global collectives and modern science , who 's rejected those outdated codes of honesty and decency , who will return for four more years to the White House , in due course .
This is what Americans want : America First !
Lock 'em up !
Build that wall !
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ the Promised Land .
Having severed ties with the WHO , disparaged the UNO , denounced US media , and quit all agreements on climate change cooperation , Mr. Trump has now gone one step further : he wants to pull out of the Human Race altogether .
`` It 's just not our scene , '' stated the President .
And his advocates and disciples waved their placards and cheered and shrieked 'Hallelujah ! '
, and jeered the few who scratched their heads and muttered `` tut , tut ... '' @ @ @ @ @ @ @ community , the Donald declared 'The United States of America 2.0 ' open .
A wall is to be erected around the entire nation ( funded by the Mexicans and Chinese ) , contact to 'other ' nations forbidden , no-one in , no-one out , America First , guys !
And people were filled with elation and pride and drank in the sounds of their leader .
Now they had their 4th of July , their baseball , pick-ups , Coaching Little Leagues , hunting and fishing and Country and Western , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ could there be ?
`` Nothing ! ''
said Trump .
Sure , one or two would always frown .
But hey , what the hell , as long as they made no trouble .
The Mob had snuffed out the meek and fair , the Mob was on its way and rode off into the sunset , victorious .

So now it's official. The people of America are celebrating and dancing in the streets.They've toiled and sweat blood to give him space and time to spread his word. They need him. They love him. Americans have finally succumbed to the soft-spoken scalliwag defying global collectives and modern science, who's rejected those outdated codes of honesty and decency, who will return for four more years to the White House, in due course. This is what Americans want: America First! Lock 'em up! Build that wall! The Mob rules! Americans have reached the Promised Land.
Having severed ties with the WHO, disparaged the UNO, denounced US media, and quit all agreements on climate change cooperation, Mr. Trump has now gone one step further: he wants to pull out of the Human Race altogether. "It's just not our scene," stated the President. And his advocates and disciples waved their placards and cheered and shrieked 'Hallelujah!', and jeered the few who scratched their heads and muttered "tut, tut...".
After announcing separation from the world community, the Donald declared 'The United States of America 2.0' open. A wall is to be erected around the entire nation (funded by the Mexicans and Chinese), contact to 'other' nations forbidden, no-one in, no-one out, America First, guys! And people were filled with elation and pride and drank in the sounds of their leader. Now they had their 4th of July, their baseball, pick-ups, Coaching Little Leagues, hunting and fishing and Country and Western, they simply had enough. What more could there be? "Nothing!" said Trump.
Sure, one or two would always frown. But hey, what the hell, as long as they made no trouble. The Mob had snuffed out the meek and fair, the Mob was on its way and rode off into the sunset, victorious.


thespoof--2020-05-27--Ann Coulter Hates Trump So Much, She Has Decided To Run as a Third Party Candidate

NEW YORK CITY – Ann Coulter is a perfect example of millions of Republicans who are finally coming around to realize that they made a big mistake by voting for Donald Johnny Trump .
Ann , who once thought that Trump hung the moon , now realizes that the only thing he hung was a photo of Vladimir Putin over his dresser in his White House bedroom .
Coulter doesn ’ t exactly say that Trump is gay , but she does comment that he has expressed his love for not only Vlady , but also for Kim Jong-un , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Nugent , and Scott Baio .
Ann rolls her eyes as she says , “ So you do the math.
” Coulter told Tucker Carlson that she has now gotten to the point where she hates “ Old Cheeto Face ” even more than she hates a yeast infection .
She revealed that , after having a long conversation with George Conway , she has decided to run as a third party candidate .
A poll taken by the Bangor Morning Bang newspaper showed that she would split the Republican vote , and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ victory in November .
Upon hearing that , Coulter affirmed that her only goal in life is to see the tiny-fingered , hate-monger get his fat ass kicked out of the White House .

NEW YORK CITY – Ann Coulter is a perfect example of millions of Republicans who are finally coming around to realize that they made a big mistake by voting for Donald Johnny Trump.
Ann, who once thought that Trump hung the moon, now realizes that the only thing he hung was a photo of Vladimir Putin over his dresser in his White House bedroom.
Coulter doesn’t exactly say that Trump is gay, but she does comment that he has expressed his love for not only Vlady, but also for Kim Jong-un, Sean Hannity, Mitch McConnell, Ted Nugent, and Scott Baio.
Ann rolls her eyes as she says, “So you do the math.”
Coulter told Tucker Carlson that she has now gotten to the point where she hates “Old Cheeto Face” even more than she hates a yeast infection.
She revealed that, after having a long conversation with George Conway, she has decided to run as a third party candidate.
A poll taken by the Bangor Morning Bang newspaper showed that she would split the Republican vote, and Joe Biden would coast to an overwhelming victory in November.
Upon hearing that, Coulter affirmed that her only goal in life is to see the tiny-fingered, hate-monger get his fat ass kicked out of the White House.


thespoof--2020-05-28--Triump Advocates Middle Ages Bloodletting

Saturday night , Trump retweeted a Twitter user who claimed that hydroxychloroquine “ Is Most Effective EARLY ” for treating Covid-19 . ''
Trump added a comment to his retweet saying , “ Many physicians agree with you .
Also , some very good studies !
” So the President won ’ t give up on touting the malaria drug .
Doctors say the drug isn ’ t effective against the virus .
Next , anonymous sources in the Administration say the president is thinking about once again suggesting that people inject kitchen supplies , like Drano , into their @ @ @ @ @ @ @ s more , The same sources report that the President is also considering advocating blood letting , and ancient practice where blood would come out from a patient who was cut .
Trump is telling associates that for thousands of years , medical practitioners clung to the belief that sickness was merely the result of a little “ bad blood.
” He wants to know why ancient wisdom has been abandoned .
“ People tell me that the plague in Europe , only several years ago , was halted by people having their @ @ @ @ @ @ @ flow.
” The plague was n't a few years ago and blood letting harmed people .
“ It isn ’ t surprising that Trump would advocate medical practices from the Middle Ages , thousands of years ago .
He should have a great affinity for those times .
They were , of course , called the Dark Ages.
” Life during this time was full of uncultured barbarians , evil tyrants and superstitious peasants , ” said historian Carleton C. Rodee .
“ Trump has all 3 of these characteristics .
The President @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and literature ; he wants to have a kind of tyrannical reign where the executive is in total control ; and he is indeed superstitious .
Conspiracy theories are a form of superstition .
They work on the assumption that bad things must be willed by human actors .
Trump has created or endorsed many conspiracy theories : Ted Cruz 's father was involved in the assassination of John F. Kennedy ; Vaccines may be causing autism and other problems ; Muslims were celebrating on New Jersey roofs on Sept. 11 , 2001 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and many other conspiracies ” Professor Rodee concluded , It ’ s obvious why Trump would want to return us to the dark ages .
It ’ s where he belongs .
”

Saturday night, Trump retweeted a Twitter user who claimed that hydroxychloroquine “Is Most Effective EARLY” for treating Covid-19." Trump added a comment to his retweet saying, “Many physicians agree with you. Also, some very good studies!” So the President won’t give up on touting the malaria drug. Doctors say the drug isn’t effective against the virus.
Next, anonymous sources in the Administration say the President is thinking about once again suggesting that people inject kitchen supplies, like Drano, into their veins to fight COVID-19.
There’s more, The same sources report that the President is also considering advocating blood letting, an ancient practice where blood would be drained from a patient who had been cut for this purpose. Trump is telling associates that for thousands of years, medical practitioners clung to the belief that sickness was merely the result of a little “bad blood”. He wants to know why ancient wisdom has been abandoned. “People tell me that the plague in Europe, only several years ago, was halted by people having their arteries nicked and letting the bad blood flow.” The plague wasn't a few years ago, and blood letting harmed people.
“It isn’t surprising that Trump would advocate medical practices from the Middle Ages, hundreds of years ago. He should have a great affinity for those times. They were, of course, called the Dark Ages.” Life during this time was full of uncultured barbarians, evil tyrants and superstitious peasants,” said historian Carleton C. Rodee.
“Trump has all 3 of these characteristics. The President knows nothing about music, art, and literature; he wants to have a kind of tyrannical reign where the executive is in total control; and he is, indeed, superstitious. Conspiracy theories are a form of superstition. They work on the assumption that bad things must be willed by human actors. Trump has created or endorsed many conspiracy theories: Ted Cruz's father was involved in the assassination of John F. Kennedy; Vaccines may be causing autism and other problems; Muslims were celebrating on New Jersey roofs on Sept. 11, 2001; Joe Scarbourgh is a murderer; and many other conspiracies.”
Professor Rodee concluded, "It’s obvious why Trump would want to return us to the dark ages. It’s where he belongs.”


thespoof--2020-05-28--SpaceX Rocket To Be Wearing A Mask

SpaceX Rocket To Be Wearing A Mask

Cape Canaveral : Not that Elon Musk is trying to make a point with Donald Trump , ( Who can ? )
, but the Space X rocket launch was postponed not because of raindrops , but because the rocket is being fixed with a face mask .
Thinking people started asking : “ The rocket doesn ’ t have any ears .
How can a rocket wear a space mask ?
” Easy .
The face mask is going to be painted on with black-space-travel paint because , `` If it ai n't black , it ai n't going @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , Trump exploded .
Then after two hamburgers and a piece of chocolate cake , he was gathering his pieces together , and then announced , “ The mask has to be orange as a symbol of me.
” Hearing this , NASA stepped in , “ We aren ’ t launching any sissy rocket into space to rendezvous with the International Space Station .
There ’ ll be talk about NASA 's manhood .
A black space mask will be a symbol for the whole world to follow , to start wearing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of this & % $ # & world virus !
” United Airlines announced that they too were going to paint black masks on some planes flying international routes .
Is Air Force One next ?
Read more by this author : • Buy A Very British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , at Amazon.com

Cape Canaveral: Not that Elon Musk is trying to make a point with Donald Trump, (Who can?), but the Space X rocket launch was postponed, not because of raindrops, but because the rocket is being fixed with a face mask.
Thinking people started asking: “The rocket doesn’t have any ears. How can a rocket wear a face mask?”
Easy. The face mask is going to be painted on with black-space-travel paint because, "If it ain't black, it ain't going anywhere!"
Hearing the black reference, Trump exploded. Then, after two hamburgers and a piece of chocolate cake, he was gathering his pieces together, and then announced, “The mask has to be orange as a symbol of me.”
Hearing this, NASA stepped in, “We aren’t launching any sissy rocket into space to rendezvous with the International Space Station. There’ll be talk about NASA's manhood. A black space mask will be a symbol for the whole world to follow, to start wearing face masks, and then get rid of this &%$#& world virus!”
Trump tip-toed away.
Elon Musk smiled. Surprise, he has teeth!
United Airlines announced that they, too, were going to paint black masks on some planes flying international routes.
Is Air Force One next?
"YOU BET!"
Read more by this author:


thespoof--2020-05-28--Twitter Fact Check Confirms: Nancy Poozleosi Was Bulgarian Shot Put Champion

BILLINGSGATE POST : In the Looking Glass War , either your reflection was distorted , or worse , you were distorted , and a mirror was redundant .
The same with the information disseminated by various propaganda sources .
Who would have guessed that CNN would be chosen by Twitter to Fact Check President Trump ?
You get the drift .
During the tumultuous Cold War era , Bulgaria , then a Soviet Union satellite , was notorious for producing World class shot putters who claimed to be females .
They were not petite .
All had heavy locks of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Some had five o ’ clock shadows .
None were sopranos .
But that was before testing .
Anyway , for the past couple of years , Ms. Nancy and President Trump have been throwing barbs at each other .
Neither holds anything back when describing the physical attributes of the other .
The last straw was when Poozleosi described Trump as being “ morbidly obese ” .
It didn ’ t take long for the Trumpster to hit back .
Never one to directly take attribution for his wild statements , he @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Vladimir Putin , that the House Speaker was once the Bulgarian shot putt champion before she came to the United States , and that she was working for him .
Perfect !
Guess who was assigned the job by Twitter to perform the Fact Check ?
None other than BILLINGSGATE POST ’ s own crack investigative reporter , Detrick “ Dirty Trick ” Detwiler .
“ Once I got by her hairy armpits , the rest was easy.
” Slim : “ Why do you always get the glamorous jobs ?
” Dirty @ @ @ @ @ @ @ guys were born for this kind of work .
”

BILLINGSGATE POST: In the Looking Glass War, either your reflection was distorted, or worse, you were distorted, and a mirror was redundant.
The same with the information disseminated by various propaganda sources. Who would have guessed that CNN would be chosen by Twitter to Fact Check President Trump?
You get the drift.
During the tumultuous Cold War era, Bulgaria, then a Soviet Union satellite, was notorious for producing World class shot putters who claimed to be females. They were not petite. All had heavy locks of black hair growing from their armpits. Some had five o’clock shadows. None were sopranos. But that was before testing.
Anyway, for the past couple of years, Ms. Nancy and President Trump have been throwing barbs at each other. Neither holds anything back when describing the physical attributes of the other.
The last straw was when Poozleosi described Trump as being “morbidly obese”.
It didn’t take long for the Trumpster to hit back. Never one to directly take attribution for his wild statements, he claimed that he was told privately by Vladimir Putin, that the House Speaker was once the Bulgarian shot putt champion before she came to the United States, and that she was working for him.
Perfect! Guess who was assigned the job by Twitter to perform the Fact Check?
Duh....
None other than BILLINGSGATE POST’s own crack investigative reporter, Detrick “Dirty Trick” Detwiler.
“Once I got by her hairy armpits, the rest was easy.”
The verdict: Guilty as charged.
Slim: “Why do you always get the glamorous jobs?”
Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Some guys were born for this kind of work.”


thespoof--2020-05-28--Donald Trump Diagnosed with ADTD, or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder

Washington , DC—President Donald Trump was admitted to Walter Reed Hospital on Wednesday , and has been diagnosed with ADTD , or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder , the symptoms of which include an orange , puffy face , a predilection to sit on the toilet and tweet early in the morning ( and midmorning , midday , late at night , etc . )
, and a gradual but noticeable decline in cognitive function .
Patients suffering from ADTD often , because they can ’ t focus very well , are subject to sudden , irrational outbursts of anger fueled @ @ @ @ @ @ @ inability to focus on reading anything beyond a single paragraph or page , and a frequent attraction to conspiracy theories , like the long discredited conspiracy that Joe Scarborough was implicated in the death of an intern in 1994 .
Family members , concerned that the disorder is interfering with the President ’ s main job , which is distracting the rest of the country from the mess he ’ s made in recent months in dealing with the COVID 19 virus , had an intervention ; it did n't work , because @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on the Executive Toilet and attacking his family members , tweeting of his own daughter , Ivanka , that she should : “ spend a little less time at the buffet in the White House cafeteria if she wants to remain her DADDY 'S FIRST DUAGHTER !
” and , of Donald Jr. , “ HE ’ S JUST A RICH WHITE KID WHOSE NEVER HAD TO WORK A DAY IN HIS WIFE !
” Doctors at Walter Reed are thinking of maybe medicating the President , perhaps with Focalin or Vyvanse , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ allow the President to stay up all night tweeting , only worsening his already deteriorating condition .
In the meantime , the Secret Service has been instructed to tackle the President every time he reaches for his phone .

Washington, DC—President Donald Trump was admitted to Walter Reed Hospital on Wednesday, and has been diagnosed with ADTD, or Attention Deficit Tweet Disorder, the symptoms of which include an orange, puffy face, a predilection to sit on the toilet and tweet early in the morning (and midmorning, midday, late at night, etc.), and a gradual but noticeable decline in cognitive function.
Patients suffering from ADTD often, because they can’t focus very well, are subject to sudden, irrational outbursts of anger fueled by enemies real and perceived, an inability to focus on reading anything beyond a single paragraph or page, and a frequent attraction to conspiracy theories, like the long discredited conspiracy that Joe Scarborough was implicated in the death of an intern in 1994.
Family members, concerned that the disorder is interfering with the President’s main job, which is distracting the rest of the country from the mess he’s made in recent months in dealing with the COVID 19 virus, had an intervention; it didn't work, because Donald Trump spent the entire intervention sitting on the Executive Toilet and attacking his family members, tweeting of his own daughter, Ivanka, that she should: “spend a little less time at the buffet in the White House cafeteria if she wants to remain her DADDY'S FIRST DUAGHTER!” and, of Donald Jr., “HE’S JUST A RICH WHITE KID WHOSE NEVER HAD TO WORK A DAY IN HIS WIFE!”
Doctors at Walter Reed are thinking of maybe medicating the President, perhaps with Focalin or Vyvanse, but are afraid either drug would just allow the President to stay up all night tweeting, only worsening his already deteriorating condition. In the meantime, the Secret Service has been instructed to tackle the President every time he reaches for his phone.


thespoof--2020-05-28--President Trump Is Extremely Depressed After Learning That Taking Hydroxychloroquine Could Cause His

President Trump Is Extremely Depressed After Learning That Taking Hydroxychloroquine Could Cause His Tongue To Fall Out

WASHINGTON , D.C. – Press Secretary Kayleigh “ The Elf ” McEnany reports that the President is feeling extremely depressed .
She said his doctor told him that , in his case , and his case only , taking Hydroxychloroquine could cause his tongue to literally fall out .
`` Dude , do I look like a friggin doctor ? ''
Kayleigh asked .
Kay-Kay , as Ivanka calls her , did volunteer that an infection of his Parabaruba Chimchancla has caused him to develop a severe case of Oral Pisstalona .
She added that , if not treated , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in which his Bitchalistis Muscle will begin to strangle the hell out of his Lengualstratacocksus .
`` What happens then ? ''
she was asked .
She said , `` If that happens , my President ’ s tongue will fall out like a piece of baloney tumbling out of a sandwich . ''
`` Yucky , '' one of the reporters whispered .
Another reporter asked her what would happen then .
She had tears and nose yuckies all over her face .
But she was able to compose herself .
`` @ @ @ @ @ @ @ then it will be my job to give Pency ( Vice-President Pence ) the code to the Missile Launching Apparatus . ''

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Press Secretary Kayleigh “The Elf” McEnany reports that the President is feeling extremely depressed.
She said his doctor told him that, in his case, and his case only, taking Hydroxychloroquine could cause his tongue to literally fall out.
A reporter asked her why.
"Dude, do I look like a friggin doctor?" Kayleigh asked.
Kay-Kay, as Ivanka calls her, did volunteer that an infection of his Parabaruba Chimchancla has caused him to develop a severe case of Oral Pisstalona.
She added that, if not treated, it could easily turn into a condition in which his Bitchalistis Muscle will begin to strangle the hell out of his Lengualstratacocksus.
"What happens then?" she was asked.
Kayleigh started sobbing uncontrollably.
"Ah, we’re waiting, McEnany."
She said, "If that happens, my President’s tongue will fall out like a piece of baloney tumbling out of a sandwich."
"Yucky," one of the reporters whispered.
Another reporter asked her what would happen then.
She started sobbing again.
“Ah, we’re waiting, McEnany."
She had tears and nose yuckies all over her face. But she was able to compose herself.
"Once we get to that point, then it will be my job to give Pency (Vice-President Pence) the code to the Missile Launching Apparatus."


thespoof--2020-05-28--Trump Angrily Denies That He Hit on Nancy Pelosi in 1993

WASHINGTON , D.C. – The president was talking at his press conference about what a fantastically fantastic ( his words ) job he is doing in semi-dealing with the Coronavirus .
One of the media reporters asked him about Nancy Pelosi alleging that he had hit on her 27 years ago .
`` Ah , how long ago was that ? ''
the Mar-a-Lago Liar asked .
He was told that it had been 27 years ago .
`` And where was this alleged incident alleged to have allegedly taken place ? ''
He was told that it supposedly happened @ @ @ @ @ @ @ big shit-eating grin on his face , and remarked that it was impossible , because , back in 1993 , he only visited Trump Tower one time , and that time he had Ivanka , Eric , and Eric 's speech therapist with him .
POTUS went on to add that he has met Pelosi only on one occasion , and that was a private pinata party for Mitch McConnell ’ s 97th birthday , two years ago .
He further noted that , if indeed they did hook-up , it was probably @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Stay tuned for further developments in the Trump-Pelosi Passion-Filled Saga .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The president was talking at his press conference about what a fantastically fantastic (his words) job he is doing in semi-dealing with the Coronavirus.
One of the media reporters asked him about Nancy Pelosi alleging that he had hit on her 27 years ago.
"Ah, how long ago was that?" the Mar-a-Lago Liar asked.
He was told that it had been 27 years ago.
"And where was this alleged incident alleged to have allegedly taken place?"
He was told that it supposedly happened at Trump Tower.
He got a big shit-eating grin on his face, and remarked that it was impossible, because, back in 1993, he only visited Trump Tower one time, and that time he had Ivanka, Eric, and Eric's speech therapist with him.
POTUS went on to add that he has met Pelosi only on one occasion, and that was a private pinata party for Mitch McConnell’s 97th birthday, two years ago.
He further noted that, if indeed they did hook-up, it was probably foggy as hell at the time.
Stay tuned for further developments in the Trump-Pelosi Passion-Filled Saga.


thespoof--2020-05-28--The Trumpster Says He's Sick and Tired of People Calling Him Mean Names and Hurting His Feelings

WASHINGTON , D.C. – The 45th president has shown that he is exactly like so many bully types , who @ @ @ @ @ , but who can not take it .
Trump has literally wasted away most of @ @ @ @ @ playing golf ( which he sucks at , by the way ) , or else @ @ @ @ @ Warren to Hillary Clinton , immature , totally unpresidential names .
But low and behold @ @ @ @ @ like Comrade Donaldski , he goes ape-shit and runs to Mommy Melania , just like @ @ @ @ @ to do .
The Little Peter Tweeter has found himself more and more running to @ @ @ @ @ the mean , scary reporter boys and girls are always calling him nasty , naughty @ @ @ @ @ The Orange Blimp , and Don The Con .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The 45th president has shown that he is exactly like so many bully types, who love to dish it out, but who cannot take it.
Trump has literally wasted away most of his presidency, either by playing golf (which he sucks at, by the way), or else by calling everyone from Elizabeth Warren to Hillary Clinton, immature, totally unpresidential names.
But low and behold when someone calls him names like Comrade Donaldski, he goes ape-shit and runs to Mommy Melania, just like all typical immature bullies tend to do.
The Little Peter Tweeter has found himself more and more running to his wife and screaming that the mean, scary reporter boys and girls are always calling him nasty, naughty names like The Liar-in-Chief, The Orange Blimp, and Don The Con.


thespoof--2020-05-28--100,000 Dead And Where Is Trump?

100,000 Dead And Where Is Trump?

100,000 dead from the coronavirus , and where is Donald Trump ?
Silent .
The virus was supposed to go away by the end of March , described with a hand wave .
It didn ’ t happen .
So , where is Trump ?
Trump is busy slandering a critic and accusing him of murder .
The only Republican voice critical of Trump is Mitt Romney , who has the Pelotas to say , Quit it , enough already .
Or grow up .
Act like a leader of the greatest nation on the planet ( next to England @ @ @ @ @ @ @ pretty good , too , and has a lady Prime Minister , and some of the best equestrians in the world .
And then there ’ s Australia . )
Digressing .
Instead , Trump is behaving like the third-rate talk show host , that he would still be , if it hadn ’ t been for Putin ’ s middle finger on the election scale .
Silence from Trump about the death toll reaching 100,000 in May .
Will it be 200,000 in five more months ?
Instead , Trump is picking @ @ @ @ @ @ @ gee !
Does Twitter have the audacity to start fact-checking Trump ’ s slanderous garbage , finally ?
Twitter CEO to stand by fact check on Trump 's tweets .
Wow !
When did Twitter finally grow a pair ?
Was it acceptable for Trump to tweet about women calling then skanks , crooked , on her knees , crazy , Pocahontas ?
The funny aspect of referencing a fact check of Trump ’ s tweets is Trump ’ s claim that fact-checking is an infringement of his free speech .
He hasn @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a crowded theatre .
Trump should have demanded spell check on his tweets .
Of the 100,000 dead because of coronavirus , Joe Biden said : “ There are moments in our history so grim , so heart-rending , that they 're forever fixed in each of our hearts as shared grief .
Today is one of those moments .
One hundred thousand lives have now been lost to this virus .
To those hurting , I 'm so sorry for your loss .
The nation grieves with you . ''
Read more @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Very British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , at Amazon.com

100,000 dead from the coronavirus, and where is Donald Trump? Silent. The virus was supposed to go away by the end of March, described with a hand wave. It didn’t happen. So, where is Trump?
Trump is busy slandering a critic and accusing him of murder. The only Republican voice critical of Trump is Mitt Romney, who has the Pelotas to say, Quit it, enough already.
Or grow up. Act like a leader of the greatest nation on the planet (next to England and under Canada; New Zealand seems pretty good, too, and has a lady Prime Minister, and some of the best equestrians in the world. And then there’s Australia.) Digressing.
Instead, Trump is behaving like the third-rate talk show host, that he would still be, if it hadn’t been for Putin’s middle finger on the election scale.
Silence from Trump about the death toll reaching 100,000 in May. Will it be 200,000 in five more months?
Instead, Trump is picking a fight with Twitter? Gosh, gee! Does Twitter have the audacity to start fact-checking Trump’s slanderous garbage, finally? Twitter CEO to stand by fact check on Trump's tweets. Wow!
When did Twitter finally grow a pair? Was it acceptable for Trump to tweet about women calling then skanks, crooked, on her knees, crazy, Pocahontas?
The funny aspect of referencing a fact check of Trump’s tweets is Trump’s claim that fact-checking is an infringement of his free speech. He hasn’t heard about screaming FIRE in a crowded theatre. Trump should have demanded spell check on his tweets.
Of the 100,000 dead because of coronavirus, Joe Biden said:
“There are moments in our history so grim, so heart-rending, that they're forever fixed in each of our hearts as shared grief. Today is one of those moments. One hundred thousand lives have now been lost to this virus. To those hurting, I'm so sorry for your loss. The nation grieves with you."
That is leadership.
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thespoof--2020-05-28--Trump to shut down TheSpoof website

Trump to shut down TheSpoof website

Obscure satire website TheSpoof has caught the attention of the US President , after somebody forwarded him a tweet about @ @ @ @ @ on the usually barely-visible site which hides in the dustiest corners of the internet .
@ @ @ @ @ are negative , such as : Trump eats his own liposuction residue to avoid getting @ @ @ @ @ misunderstand the concept of truth , he does n't understand the concept of understanding or @ @ @ @ @ 's bras US President obsessed with how far Obama would have stood away from White @ @ @ @ @ .
Trump is said to be apoplectic about the revelations .
`` I 'm apoplected @ @ @ @ @ he tweeted .
He then threatened to shut down TheSpoof and any other `` fake @ @ @ @ @ him .
`` Anyone who insults me is fake , '' insisted the demented president @ @ @ @ @ , stamping his foot .
`` It 's not true .
I do n't do @ @ @ @ @ n't , I do n't !
Make them stop saying mean things . ''

Obscure satire website TheSpoof has caught the attention of the US President, after somebody forwarded him a tweet about a number of stories featured on the usually barely-visible site which hides in the dustiest corners of the internet.
Most of the tweeted headlines are negative, such as:
Trump eats his own liposuction residue to avoid getting coronavirus
Trump doesn't just misunderstand the concept of truth, he doesn't understand the concept of understanding or concepts
Donald Trump sniffs Ivanka's bras
US President obsessed with how far Obama would have stood away from White House toilets
and many more.
Trump is said to be apoplectic about the revelations. "I'm apoplected about the revels," he tweeted. He then threatened to shut down TheSpoof and any other "fake news" websites which insult him.
"Anyone who insults me is fake," insisted the demented president during a press briefing today, stamping his foot. "It's not true. I don't do those things. I don't, I don't! Make them stop saying mean things."


thespoof--2020-05-29--14-year-old rap fan running Donald Trump's Twitter feed

Kevin Jones , a 14-year-old rap fan from Middle America , has admitted that he has been running President Trump @ @ @ @ @ past six months .
The Eminem fan , who has an unrequited crush that he @ @ @ @ @ , has been doing the work as part of a Politics and Government course at @ @ @ @ @ us : ' I just really lucked into , I mean I thought that Wayne @ @ @ @ @ a shoo-in for the position , but he said something about self-respect and integrity , @ @ @ @ @ was a great chance for me to get my raps out there . '
Donald @ @ @ @ @ Kevin Jones , I would never employ someone called Kevin .
I met that Kevin @ @ @ @ @ documentary .
Little sociopath he was .
No , everything I tweet comes from my @ @ @ @ @ best brain . '

Kevin Jones, a 14-year-old rap fan from Middle America, has admitted that he has been running President Trump's Twitter feed for the past six months.
The Eminem fan, who has an unrequited crush that he won't tell us about, has been doing the work as part of a Politics and Government course at his school.
Kevin told us: 'I just really lucked into, I mean I thought that Wayne in the Sixth Form was a shoo-in for the position, but he said something about self-respect and integrity, and I thought that this was a great chance for me to get my raps out there.'
Donald Trump said 'As if. Kevin Jones, I would never employ someone called Kevin. I met that Kevin chap from the Home Alone documentary. Little sociopath he was. No, everything I tweet comes from my brain. I have the best brain.'


thespoof--2020-05-29--Iowa Votes to Ban the Phrase "Tit for Tat"

DES MOINES , Iowa – The Iowa state legislature met in an emergency session to vote on an issue that had been bouncing around ( no pun intended ) on the senate chamber floor for a while .
The senators all agreed to make it a 'hurry up ' vote so that they and their families would all be able to attend The 71st Annual Chickasaw Corn on the Cob Country Fair Tractor Race .
The vote came out 96-4 , which now makes it illegal for anyone , including strippers , to use the phrase tit for tat .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ , blue-haired Evangelical ladies for the past five decades .
One proud devoted Evy , who identified herself as Ava “ Bubbles ” Tipperlock , 71 , said that , now she can finally keep from shaking every time that one of her 13 college-age granddaughters , or 2 high school grandsons , uses that sensuously-erotic phrase .
Ava said that she is sad that her grandmother , Aurora Nora Fonbaum didn ’ t live to see this day .
She pointed out that Granny Nory found the phrase even more offensive and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 48-AAA bra .

DES MOINES, Iowa – The Iowa state legislature met in an emergency session to vote on an issue that had been bouncing around (no pun intended) on the senate chamber floor for a while.
The senators all agreed to make it a 'hurry up' vote so that they and their families would all be able to attend The 71st Annual Chickasaw Corn on the Cob Country Fair Tractor Race.
The vote came out 96-4, which now makes it illegal for anyone, including strippers, to use the phrase tit for tat.
That phrase has upset little, old, blue-haired Evangelical ladies for the past five decades.
One proud devoted Evy, who identified herself as Ava “Bubbles” Tipperlock, 71, said that, now she can finally keep from shaking every time that one of her 13 college-age granddaughters, or 2 high school grandsons, uses that sensuously-erotic phrase.
Ava said that she is sad that her grandmother, Aurora Nora Fonbaum didn’t live to see this day.
She pointed out that Granny Nory found the phrase even more offensive and depressing, since she wore a size 48-AAA bra .


thespoof--2020-05-29--Zuckerberg: Facebook Should be "A Partner of Deceit"

FOT News , NYC .
Shawn Insanity reporting for Friends of Trump News .
In an interview this morning with FOT News , Facebook founder and head , Mark Zuckerberg , claimed that his Facebook company should n't be the `` arbiter of truth '' for stuff that 's posted on Facebook 's Internet platform .
Instead , it appears that Facebook would be a `` partner of deceit '' by refusing to fact check such inaccurate postings .
`` But that 's insanity , '' Shawn Insanity suggested .
`` You woud let Joe Biden post an untruth about @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you would n't call him on it ? ''
Zuckerberg : `` Of course not .
Revealing the truth is for the other side .
I 'm sure Trump and FOT news would inform the public of Biden 's deceptive remarks .
That 's not for Facebook , Our readers do n't expect us to be a partner - oops , arbiter of truth .
They know we 're on the other side , Look what we did in the 2016 presidential election .
That was very profitable for us .
We 'd @ @ @ @ @ @ @ caught . ''
In the meantime , the President has prepared an executive order paving the way for him to sue Twitter for unmasking the lies in his Tweets .

FOT News, NYC. Shawn Insanity reporting for Friends of Trump News. In an interview this morning with FOT News, Facebook founder and head, Mark Zuckerberg, claimed that his Facebook company shouldn't be the "arbiter of truth" for stuff that's posted on Facebook's Internet platform. Instead, it appears that Facebook would be a "partner of deceit" by refusing to fact check such inaccurate postings.
"But that's insanity," Shawn Insanity suggested. "You woud let Joe Biden post an untruth about his dealing in the Ukraine, and you wouldn't call him on it?"
Zuckerberg: "Of course not. Revealing the truth is for the other side. I'm sure Trump and FOT news would inform the public of Biden's deceptive remarks. That's not for Facebook, Our readers don't expect us to be a partner - oops, arbiter of truth. They know we're on the other side, Look what we did in the 2016 presidential election. That was very profitable for us. We'd do that again, except we get caught."
In the meantime, the President has prepared an executive order paving the way for him to sue Twitter for unmasking the lies in his Tweets.


thespoof--2020-05-29--With Police Murder And Riots America Goes To The Beach

Americans were relieved and even overjoyed this week as things finally began to get back to normal .
Not only were hugely crowded beaches and urine-salted public swimming pools a sight for sore eyes , people felt a sense of normalcy seeing an increase in police brutality , murder and rioting on television .
Despite new outbreaks of COVID-19 in California , Virginia , North Carolina , Minnesota , Wisconsin , Alabama , Mississippi , and South Carolina , revelers crowded cafes , bars , retail stores , lakes , ocean fronts , and hiking trails , depending on what @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to the public .
Of course , many people didn ’ t heed what these officials said .
Exclaimed Mavis Durfee of Bakersfield , California , “ I ’ ve been cooped-up too long with only TV to take up my time , since Earl left me .
It ’ s such a relief to be able to get drunk at the local bar with friends and good-looking strangers . ''
Harold Lloyd of Chicken Coop , North Carolina , said , `` All I want is my freedom and liberty .
I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ virus , even though two of my cousins came down with it .
Wish me luck and God Bless America . ''

Americans were relieved and even overjoyed this week as things finally began to get back to normal. Not only were hugely crowded beaches and urine-salted public swimming pools a sight for sore eyes, people felt a sense of normalcy seeing an increase in police brutality, murder and rioting on television.
Despite new outbreaks of COVID-19 in California, Virginia, North Carolina, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Alabama, Mississippi, and South Carolina, revelers crowded cafes, bars, retail stores, lakes, ocean fronts, and hiking trails, depending on what governors and mayors allowed to be available to the public. Of course, many people didn’t heed what these officials said.
Exclaimed Mavis Durfee of Bakersfield, California, “I’ve been cooped-up too long with only TV to take up my time, since Earl left me. It’s such a relief to be able to get drunk at the local bar with friends and good-looking strangers."
Harold Lloyd of Chicken Coop, North Carolina, said, "All I want is my freedom and liberty. I'll take my chances against getting the virus, even though two of my cousins came down with it. Wish me luck and God Bless America."


thespoof--2020-05-29--Minneapolis Police Arrest Man Who Filmed Floyd's Death

Minneapolis .
May 29 .
Exclusive to The Spoof .
At the insistence of the Minneapolis Police Union , the @ @ @ @ @ video of the death of George Floyd has been charged with felony murder and conspiracy @ @ @ @ @ the objection of the city 's police chief and the mayor .
In a prepared @ @ @ @ @ the Police Union compared the action of the video taker in the Georgia death of @ @ @ @ @ the unidentified man who filmed Floyd 's death .
`` In each case , the @ @ @ @ @ bystander or a participant in what is now charged as a murder .
If the @ @ @ @ @ of a crime , so is the man in Minneapolis .
We believe an arrest @ @ @ @ @ Minneapolis man has not yet had a bail hearing , but over a million dollars @ @ @ @ @ by George Soros .

Minneapolis. At the insistence of the police union, the young man who took the video of the death of George Floyd has been charged with felony murder and conspiracy to commit murder, over the objection of the city's police chief and the mayor.
In a prepared statement to the press, the police union compared the action of the video taker in the Georgia death of Ahmaud Arbery with that of the unidentified man who filmed Floyd's death.
"In each case, the videographer was either an innocent bystander or a participant in what is now charged as a murder. If the man in Georgia was guilty of a crime, so is the man in Minneapolis. We believe an arrest is justified."
The Minneapolis man has not yet had a bail hearing, but over a million dollars has been pledged for bail by George Soros.


thespoof--2020-05-28--SpaceX Rocket To Wear A Mask

SpaceX Rocket To Wear A Mask

Cape Canaveral : Not that Elon Musk is trying to make a point with Donald Trump , ( Who can ? )
, but the Space X rocket launch was postponed , not because of raindrops , but because the rocket is being fixed with a face mask .
Thinking people started asking : “ The rocket doesn ’ t have any ears .
How can a rocket wear a face mask ?
” Easy .
The face mask is going to be painted on with black-space-travel paint because , `` If it ai n't black , it ai n't @ @ @ @ @ @ @ reference , Trump exploded .
Then , after two hamburgers and a piece of chocolate cake , he was gathering his pieces together , and then announced , “ The mask has to be orange as a symbol of me.
” Hearing this , NASA stepped in , “ We aren ’ t launching any sissy rocket into space to rendezvous with the International Space Station .
There ’ ll be talk about NASA 's manhood .
A black space mask will be a symbol for the whole world to follow , to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ get rid of this & % $ # & world virus !
” United Airlines announced that they , too , were going to paint black masks on some planes flying international routes .
Is Air Force One next ?
Read more by this author : • Buy A Very British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , at Amazon.com


thespoof--2020-05-29--Can Trump Do Anything?

Can Trump Do Anything?

The whole world is asking whether or not Donald Trump can do anything positive or constructive .
He became the choice of the day by people who watched his television performance on The Apprentice .
What few realized , was that those performances were all scripted .
He read those lines from a piece of script board held off-camera by a script guide .
The voting public was impressed , bought his performance , believing he was decisive , showed leadership , was smart , and had the executive ability .
The guy was scripted .
Many words were explained @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Forget homophones and homographs .
Thought they were gay terms .
The same guy ended up in the White House .
Thought coronavirus was a joke promoted by Democrats to embarrass him .
Ignored it and , after 100,000 deaths in the United States , he withdraws from the World Health Organization .
He 's fired a string of professional department heads .
Departments of which he had little or no knowledge .
He replaced them with cronies .
The cronies also had little or no knowledge ; however , they did @ @ @ @ @ @ @ does in the White House is fire and replace people who do not do his bidding .
The circus continues .
The whole world is asking , “ Can Donald Trump do anything positive or constructive ?
” A foreign guest on a cable news program recently decried the fall of the United States .
He said that the US no longer retains its great stature around the world because of Trump .
The United States was a done deal .
Finished !
Foreign guest : Don ’ t think of writing off @ @ @ @ @ @ @ temporary anomaly put into the White House by an adversary .
Traveling to the United States two hundred years ago would be like going to Mars today .
The US is made up of the descendants from the bravest , most adventurous , and creative people from around the world .
And those descendants still have that gene .
Read more by this author : • Buy A Very British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , at Amazon.com

The whole world is asking whether or not Donald Trump can do anything positive or constructive. He became the choice of the day by people who watched his television performance on The Apprentice. What few realized, was that those performances were all scripted. He read those lines from a piece of script board held off-camera by a script guide.
The voting public was impressed, bought his performance, believing he was decisive, showed leadership, was smart, and had the executive ability.
Wrong.
The guy was scripted. Many words were explained to him. Never heard of homonyms. Forget homophones and homographs. Thought they were gay terms.
The same guy ended up in the White House. Thought coronavirus was a joke promoted by Democrats to embarrass him. Ignored it and, after 100,000 deaths in the United States, he withdraws from the World Health Organization.
He's fired a string of professional department heads. Departments of which he had little or no knowledge. He replaced them with cronies. The cronies also had little or no knowledge; however, they did Trump’s bidding.
His television experience: “You’re fired!”
All he does in the White House is fire and replace people who do not do his bidding.
The circus continues. The whole world is asking, “Can Donald Trump do anything positive or constructive?”
A foreign guest on a cable news program recently decried the fall of the United States. He said that the US no longer retains its great stature around the world because of Trump. The United States was a done deal. Finished!
Foreign guest: Don’t think of writing off the United States. Trump is a temporary anomaly put into the White House by an adversary.
Traveling to the United States two hundred years ago would be like going to Mars today. The US is made up of the descendants from the bravest, most adventurous, and creative people from around the world. And those descendants still have that gene.
Foreign guest: Start holding your breath...
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thespoof--2020-06-07--NFL Hires Colin Kaepernick to Take Knee Against Owners Who Support Police Brutality

NFL President , Roger Goddell , and former football star quarterback , Colin Kaepernick , made worldwide news during a joint press conference .
The men announced a new partnership to promote social fairness and end to police brutality .
The partnership marks a major turnaround in the relationship between Kaepernick and the NFL .
According to the joint statement , the NFL has hired Kaepernick to punish any NFL team owner who ignores and/or promotes police brutality .
Most analysts expected a reconciliation of the two sides after the brutal murder of George Floyd by police .
What surprised @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the NFL/Kaepernick partnership .
Kaepernick says , the partnership agreement authorizes him to `` ... take a knee with or ON any NFL owner found guilty of dismissing , ignoring , belittling , or scoffing at police abuse .
Of course , I will use my best judgment .
If an owner says something stupid out of ignorance , we can take a knee together .
If an owner makes a racist statement , he gets my knee with a cushion on his butt for 2-3 minutes .
However , for extreme cases @ @ @ @ @ @ @ action , then I 'll have no choice -- Operation Floyd 8:46 . ''

NFL President, Roger Goddell, and former football star quarterback, Colin Kaepernick, made worldwide news during a joint press conference. The men announced a new partnership to promote social fairness and end to police brutality. The partnership marks a major turnaround in the relationship between Kaepernick and the NFL.
According to the joint statement, the NFL has hired Kaepernick to punish any NFL team owner who ignores and/or promotes police brutality. Most analysts expected a reconciliation of the two sides after the brutal murder of George Floyd by police. What surprised most analysts is the enforcement provision of the NFL/Kaepernick partnership.
Kaepernick says, the partnership agreement authorizes him to "... take a knee with or ON any NFL owner found guilty of dismissing, ignoring, belittling, or scoffing at police abuse. Of course, I will use my best judgment. If an owner says something stupid out of ignorance, we can take a knee together. If an owner makes a racist statement, he gets my knee with a cushion on his butt for 2-3 minutes. However, for extreme cases, where the owner takes a racist action, then I'll have no choice--Operation Floyd 8:46."


thespoof--2020-06-06--George Floyd Protesters Vow To "Put Everything Back" If Justice Is Done

Protesters who rioted and ransacked stores during violent demonstrations against the murder in custody of George Floyd , have said they only want justice , and have vowed to return all of the goods stolen from shops once justice is done .
The streets of many major US cities have seen large-scale disturbances over the last few days , with police resources stretched to their limits .
A man dressed in a tracksuit and sneakers , a baseball cap , black sunglasses , and a scarf obscuring the lower half of his face , said : '' We just want @ @ @ @ @ @ @ cop gets what 's coming to him , I 'm quite prepared to return that 52 '' TV that I took from the department store . ''
`` Fuck the police !
We want justice for Floyd Whatsisname .
When we get it , we 'll put the proceeds of our crimes back where they belong . ''
A man wielding a baseball bat , and pushing a shopping trolley full of small electrical items and trays of jewellery , was just as keen to repent his sins as the rest of the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , dirty cops !
Mind you , it 's happened at just the right time for me , because I needed something for my girlfriend 's birthday next week . ''
One man , who said he was a glazier , even offered to replace broken store windows if only the authorities would deal out some justice , and nail the murder cop for life .
Police in Minneapolis have been unable to cope with the looting , and have even joined in .
One cop , who did n't want to be @ @ @ @ @ @ @ store with some colleagues , and stood clasping a quantity of boxed smartphones .
He said : '' It 's awful , it really is , but , as the saying goes , if you ca n't beat 'em , join 'em ! ''

Protesters who rioted and ransacked stores during violent demonstrations against the murder in custody of George Floyd, have said they only want justice, and have vowed to return all of the goods stolen from shops once justice is done.
The streets of many major US cities have seen large-scale disturbances over the last few days, with police resources stretched to their limits.
A man dressed in a tracksuit and sneakers, a baseball cap, black sunglasses, and a scarf obscuring the lower half of his face, said:
"We just want justice. As soon as that dirty cop gets what's coming to him, I'm quite prepared to return that 52" TV that I took from the department store."
Others echoed these sentiments. A woman shouted:
"Fuck the police! We want justice for Floyd Whatsisname. When we get it, we'll put the proceeds of our crimes back where they belong."
A man wielding a baseball bat, and pushing a shopping trolley full of small electrical items and trays of jewellery, was just as keen to repent his sins as the rest of the mob. He said:
"Filthy, dirty cops! Mind you, it's happened at just the right time for me, because I needed something for my girlfriend's birthday next week."
One man, who said he was a glazier, even offered to replace broken store windows if only the authorities would deal out some justice, and nail the murder cop for life.
Police in Minneapolis have been unable to cope with the looting, and have even joined in. One cop, who didn't want to be identified, had rifled a mobile phone store with some colleagues, and stood clasping a quantity of boxed smartphones. He said:
"It's awful, it really is, but, as the saying goes, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"


thespoof--2020-06-04--Democrats Vow Apocalypse for 2020

Democrats Vow Apocalypse for 2020

NEW YORK - Major cities in the United States have been devastated by riots , arson , and widespread looting .
In a bold political calculation , Democrats put their full support behind Anarchists , Marxists , and Nihilistic Mobs .
Their policy announcement was made less than an hour after President Trump declared that Antifa would be prosecuted as `` Domestic Terrorists '' , and video clips on TV included mayors , governors , and the usual members of Congress .
Even `` Never-Trump '' GOP Establishment pundits joined the Democrats ' position , with Bill Kristol and Jonah @ @ @ @ @ @ @ solidarity to Antifa by throwing Molotov Cocktails at a Trump poster on a brick wall .
Several Democrat Mayors implemented a `` No-Jail-for-Arsonists-Rapists-Thieves '' ( aka .
`` No-Jail-for-ART '' ) during protests .
New York City has arrested more than 2000 people , and then released them without any bail-bond requirement , with similar action from Liberal District Attorneys in Washington , DC and Portland , Oregon .
After Hollywood celebrities wrote an open letter to `` Defund the Police '' , city council members of Minneapolis called for an end to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ even further , a few city leaders suggested that Public Safety could use `` Work Release '' programs , and many criminals on parole might pay their debt to society by guarding banks , inspecting jewelry stores , or watching the security cameras in women 's fashion outlets .
The performance of 17 Democrat Candidates for US President in 2020 has been so horrible that polling indicates as many as 70 % of Liberal Voters will spend November - Smoking Pot - and watching YouTube `` reruns '' of Obama campaigning from 2008 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ '' by the standards of Deep State CIA authoritarians , but ordinary Americans find Biden to be completely UNELECTABLE because of unexplained mental lapses , and random urges to sniff women 's hair .
Abdel K. ( Democrat Strategist ) : `` Although I do n't believe in any gods , we really need a Global Armageddon .
You know , Four Horsemen kind of stuff , but with more depravity , ruin , and death .
Democrats have lost a lot of power in Washington , but now we have to remember @ @ @ @ @ @ @ It is better to Rule in Hell , than to Serve in Heaven . ''
Other Democrats are more cynical , mourn hopelessly , and say among themselves `` who can possibly stand against the Power of the Orange Beast ? ''
Many lobbyists in the US Capitol admit that ( treasonous ) politicians feel helpless , even though they have accepted BILLIONS in Campaign Contributions ( bribes ) from Globalists seeking a Shadow-One-World-Government , and from International Criminal Organizations who benefit from eliminating security which would stop trafficking of drugs and adolescent @ @ @ @ @ @ @ career politicians are betting that billions may die as lawlessness is encouraged , but having power concentrated in the hands of a few elites will allow them to survive in their guarded million-dollar mansions and secret underground shelters .
Alistair Engels ( Satanist ) : `` When Hillary ran for US President in 2016 , I was so happy because I thought she would make a hundred countries burn like Benghazi , spread Civil Wars like in Syria , collapse governments like in Yemen , and spread nuclear weapons material around the world @ @ @ @ @ @ @ while she was Secretary of State .
The world could have been consumed in fire , and fulfilled every Doomsday Prophesy .
Now the Democrat party has revived the dreams of Apocalypse in 2020 .
Hail Satan !
!
! ''
In other news , the `` World Health Organization '' ( W.H.O . )
is still cooperating with Chinese Bioweapons Facilities to keep global plague dreams alive .
• Should the CIA Select US Presidents ?
• Could `` Cthulhu '' Be Donald Trump 's Real Name ?
• Apocalypse 2019 - @ @ @ @ @ @ @

NEW YORK - Major cities in the United States have been devastated by riots, arson, and widespread looting. In a bold political calculation, Democrats put their full support behind Anarchists, Marxists, and Nihilistic Mobs. Their policy announcement was made less than an hour after President Trump declared that Antifa would be prosecuted as "Domestic Terrorists", and video clips on TV included mayors, governors, and the usual members of Congress.
Even "Never-Trump" GOP Establishment pundits joined the Democrats' position, with Bill Kristol and Jonah Goldberg in a YouTube video pledging their solidarity to Antifa by throwing Molotov Cocktails at a Trump poster on a brick wall. Several Democrat Mayors implemented a "No-Jail-for-Arsonists-Rapists-Thieves" (aka. "No-Jail-for-ART") during protests. New York City has arrested more than 2000 people, and then released them without any bail-bond requirement, with similar action from Liberal District Attorneys in Washington, DC and Portland, Oregon.
After Hollywood celebrities wrote an open letter to "Defund the Police", city council members of Minneapolis called for an end to police protection of school children. Going even further, a few city leaders suggested that Public Safety could use "Work Release" programs, and many criminals on parole might pay their debt to society by guarding banks, inspecting jewelry stores, or watching the security cameras in women's fashion outlets.
November Predictions - "No Democrats Voting"
The performance of 17 Democrat Candidates for US President in 2020 has been so horrible that polling indicates as many as 70% of Liberal Voters will spend November - Smoking Pot - and watching YouTube "reruns" of Obama campaigning from 2008. Joe Biden may be "perfect" by the standards of Deep State CIA authoritarians, but ordinary Americans find Biden to be completely UNELECTABLE because of unexplained mental lapses, and random urges to sniff women's hair.
Abdel K. (Democrat Strategist): "Although I don't believe in any gods, we really need a Global Armageddon. You know, Four Horsemen kind of stuff, but with more depravity, ruin, and death. Democrats have lost a lot of power in Washington, but now we have to remember the most important thing in politics - It is better to Rule in Hell, than to Serve in Heaven."
Other Democrats are more cynical, mourn hopelessly, and say among themselves "who can possibly stand against the Power of the Orange Beast?" Many lobbyists in the US Capitol admit that (treasonous) politicians feel helpless, even though they have accepted BILLIONS in Campaign Contributions (bribes) from Globalists seeking a Shadow-One-World-Government, and from International Criminal Organizations who benefit from eliminating security which would stop trafficking of drugs and adolescent sex-slaves. For the most part, career politicians are betting that billions may die as lawlessness is encouraged, but having power concentrated in the hands of a few elites will allow them to survive in their guarded million-dollar mansions and secret underground shelters.
Alistair Engels (Satanist): "When Hillary ran for US President in 2016, I was so happy because I thought she would make a hundred countries burn like Benghazi, spread Civil Wars like in Syria, collapse governments like in Yemen, and spread nuclear weapons material around the world like her Uranium One deal in 2010 while she was Secretary of State. The world could have been consumed in fire, and fulfilled every Doomsday Prophesy. Now the Democrat party has revived the dreams of Apocalypse in 2020. Hail Satan!!!"
In other news, the "World Health Organization" (W.H.O.) is still cooperating with Chinese Bioweapons Facilities to keep global plague dreams alive.
Related:
"The Dogs of War" (Pink Floyd, 1988)


thespoof--2020-06-04--The Bunker And Trump

The Bunker And Trump

Of course , he didn ’ t run to the White House basement bunker to hide when he heard protesters across the lawn on Pennsylvania Avenue .
He just decided that was a good time to examine the bunker .
It was a “ Look , see ” .
See if the bunker had a television , kitchenette , bed , toilet , and if there was an underground tunnel that led to the Potomac River , and a waiting speedboat to zoom him to the Atlantic , make a right-hand turn , and head south to Mar-a- Lago .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ He ’ s tough .
He-man tough .
“ Did Melania go with him ?
” She wasn ’ t awake .
Press secretary Kayleigh McEnany hastily explained , “ There is nothing unusual about working underground .
Winston Churchill worked from an underground room during World War II.
” News Flash : Ms. McEnany , Winston Churchill was fighting the Nazis during World War II , not British protesters .
Also , bombs and rocket bombs were being dropped on London by the German Luftwaffe on a nightly basis .
The D.C. @ @ @ @ @ @ @ U.S. Air Force , and they were not dropping bombs on Washington D.C. or the White House .
Trump scurried down to the basement bunker for safety .
The guy was freaking scared .
He was going to make a fast getaway on a speedboat .
There are rumors he got as far as South Carolina when told the protesters at the White House had gone home to bed .
So , Trump had the speedboat make a U-turn and head north .
The next day , ( after mounted police removed new @ @ @ @ @ @ @ tear gas and smoke bombs ) , Trump emerged from his bunker .
Flanked by about fifty male White House office workers and the Secretary of Defense , Trump triumphantly walked across the street to stand in front of St. John ’ s Church .
He held a bible above his head .
Over his head ?
Why the Bible ?
Better a copy of Elementary Spelling or a history book on the London Blitz .
Read more by this author : • Buy A Very British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , @ @

Of course, he didn’t run to the White House basement bunker to hide when he heard protesters across the lawn on Pennsylvania Avenue. He just decided that was a good time to examine the bunker.
It was a “Look, see”. See if the bunker had a television, kitchenette, bed, toilet, and if there was an underground tunnel that led to the Potomac River, and a waiting speedboat to zoom him to the Atlantic, make a right-hand turn, and head south to Mar-a- Lago.
He was never afraid. Nah. He’s tough. He-man tough.
“Did Melania go with him?” She wasn’t awake.
Press secretary Kayleigh McEnany hastily explained, “There is nothing unusual about working underground. Winston Churchill worked from an underground room during World War II.”
News Flash: Ms. McEnany, Winston Churchill was fighting the Nazis during World War II, not British protesters. Also, bombs and rocket bombs were being dropped on London by the German Luftwaffe on a nightly basis.
The D.C. protesters hadn’t taken over the U.S. Air Force, and they were not dropping bombs on Washington D.C. or the White House. Trump scurried down to the basement bunker for safety. The guy was freaking scared. He was going to make a fast getaway on a speedboat. There are rumors he got as far as South Carolina when told the protesters at the White House had gone home to bed.
So, Trump had the speedboat make a U-turn and head north.
The next day, (after mounted police removed new protesters from across the White House using tear gas and smoke bombs), Trump emerged from his bunker. Flanked by about fifty male White House office workers and the Secretary of Defense, Trump triumphantly walked across the street to stand in front of St. John’s Church. He held a bible above his head.
Over his head? Why the Bible? Better a copy of Elementary Spelling or a history book on the London Blitz.
Read more by this author:


thespoof--2020-06-04--MLK Memorial Statue May Get Updated After Riots

Washington , D.C. - The recent riots over the death of George Floyd at the hands of the Minnesota Police have shown the world exactly how protesting gets done in the 2020s , and one group of advocates is pushing for the Martin Luther King Memorial in D.C. to be updated , to show this new style of passionate civil disobedience .
`` We want the statue of MLK to be brought up to date , '' decried Washington James , the unofficial head of a movement that likes to hang out around the statue on the weekends .
`` @ @ @ @ @ @ @ under one of MLK 's arms .
Or at least a pair of sneakers !
Maybe some of those hard-to-get , limited addition Air Jordans that cost like $ 1000 on EBay and shit , '' James added .
`` MLK would have loved those . ''
`` Yeah , '' piped in Chameille Gaston .
`` He needs to look more like modern-day protesters , for real .
You know MLK was a bad ass , right ?
I mean , if he were alive today , for sure he 'd be @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a pair of Jordans from the Nike store . ''
Others we interviewed at the statue site were n't so sure the godfather of the revolution would have stooped to the level of the smash-and-grab looters found at most of today 's protest rallies .
`` I 'm not sure if we would have this statue and a holiday for the man , if he was marching on Selma with a toaster oven and a pair of jeans under his arm , '' questioned Dwight Cunningham , wearing a Black Lives Matter T-shirt @ @ @ @ @ @ @ with his wife to take part in the marches around the White House .
`` I mean , maybe he would have thrown a molotov cocktail through a store window , or started a dumpster fire or something , but robbin ' a store seems a little out of his character , do n't you think ? ''
Cunningham pondered .
With the crowd around the statue divided on the issue , most of the folks in opposition to any changes in the MLK Memorial admitted that they would be okay if there @ @ @ @ @ @ @ TV under King 's arm was given to him by another protester , who wanted the civil rights leader to have it as a present for his efforts .
`` Yeah , I guess I 'd be okay with that , '' surmised our visitors from Ohio .
`` I mean , I know MLK really liked to watch Saturday morning cartoons and old western movies , so he might take an extra TV for his man cave , if someone just handed it to him and did n't tell the man exactly @ @ @ @ @ @ @ . ''
With that , a petition was started on some Starbucks napkins , as many of the people gathered around Mr. James , the leader of the new movement , to bring an icon into current times .
But now a new argument was breaking out of the pack .
Should it be a modern flat-screen TV chiseled under MLK 's arm , or an older model with rabbit ears and shit ?
`` I guess you 'll have to come visit D.C. to find out ! ''
chortled an excited Mr. @ @ @ @ @ @ @ next signature .
With that , we were off to cover a more pressing topic : Ivanka 's new handbag , spotted at her daddy 's latest photo op during the riots .
Fahionistas say it will be all the rage soon .
Stay tuned !

Washington, D.C. - The recent riots over the death of George Floyd at the hands of the Minnesota Police have shown the world exactly how protesting gets done in the 2020s, and one group of advocates is pushing for the Martin Luther King Memorial in D.C. to be updated, to show this new style of passionate civil disobedience.
"We want the statue of MLK to be brought up to date," decried Washington James, the unofficial head of a movement that likes to hang out around the statue on the weekends. "We want them to put a television under one of MLK's arms. Or at least a pair of sneakers! Maybe some of those hard-to-get, limited addition Air Jordans that cost like $1000 on EBay and shit," James added. "MLK would have loved those."
"Yeah," piped in Chameille Gaston. "He needs to look more like modern-day protesters, for real. You know MLK was a bad ass, right? I mean, if he were alive today, for sure he'd be grabbing a TV from Best Buy and a pair of Jordans from the Nike store."
Others we interviewed at the statue site weren't so sure the godfather of the revolution would have stooped to the level of the smash-and-grab looters found at most of today's protest rallies. "I'm not sure if we would have this statue and a holiday for the man, if he was marching on Selma with a toaster oven and a pair of jeans under his arm," questioned Dwight Cunningham, wearing a Black Lives Matter T-shirt, and who had driven from Ohio with his wife to take part in the marches around the White House. "I mean, maybe he would have thrown a molotov cocktail through a store window, or started a dumpster fire or something, but robbin' a store seems a little out of his character, don't you think?" Cunningham pondered.
With the crowd around the statue divided on the issue, most of the folks in opposition to any changes in the MLK Memorial admitted that they would be okay if there was a plaque that explained that the TV under King's arm was given to him by another protester, who wanted the civil rights leader to have it as a present for his efforts. "Yeah, I guess I'd be okay with that," surmised our visitors from Ohio. "I mean, I know MLK really liked to watch Saturday morning cartoons and old western movies, so he might take an extra TV for his man cave, if someone just handed it to him and didn't tell the man exactly where it came from, I guess."
With that, a petition was started on some Starbucks napkins, as many of the people gathered around Mr. James, the leader of the new movement, to bring an icon into current times.
But now a new argument was breaking out of the pack. Should it be a modern flat-screen TV chiseled under MLK's arm, or an older model with rabbit ears and shit? "I guess you'll have to come visit D.C. to find out!" chortled an excited Mr. James, passing the Sharpie for the next signature.
With that,we were off to cover a more pressing topic: Ivanka's new handbag, spotted at her daddy's latest photo op during the riots. Fahionistas say it will be all the rage soon. Stay tuned!


thespoof--2020-06-03--White House Compares Trump’s Speech To Churchill

The White House today compared Donald J ’ s speech at St. John ’ s Episcopal Church to that of Winston Churchill .
Yes .
The World War II Prime Minister of Great Britain ?
Stop laughing .
There are a lot of similarities there .
For starters , both wear shoes .
Yes .
They both also wear socks , trousers , shirts , and ties .
Churchill stood at five feet and six inches .
Without shoe lifts , no one knows the true height of Donald Trump .
While he walks with a wobble , he is @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Winston Churchill was most famous for his oratorical triumphs .
Trump can ’ t talk .
He can barely read a speech .
When he goes off script , he passes off the ruff and goes way off near the mudflats by the railroad yard , where the junkyard dogs live .
“ Take her out , ” was voiced as one of Trump ’ s orders .
Oratorically , Trump can ’ t hold a candle to Churchill .
Not a match , or even the memory of a flame .
The @ @ @ @ @ @ @ was always brilliant whether in a quick reply or a lengthy speech .
A quick reply from Trump would consist of , “ No , you ’ re the puppet ” , or “ She ’ d do anything for a campaign contribution ” , and other misspelled comments .
Churchill once said , “ He is a modest man , and has a great deal to be modest about.
” While Trump also has a great deal to be modest about , he was never a modest man .
He is blatantly @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
“ Use Clorox.
” So when the White House tries to compare the two as brilliant soulmates , they should stop .
The two do not resemble one another in beliefs , attitudes , honor , or ideology .
One was brilliant .
The other is , oh well ... Read more by this author : • Buy A Very British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , at Amazon.com

The White House today compared Donald J’s speech at St. John’s Episcopal Church to that of Winston Churchill.
What?
Yes. The World War II Prime Minister of Great Britain? Stop laughing. There are a lot of similarities there.
For starters, both wear shoes. Yes. They both also wear socks, trousers, shirts, and ties. Churchill stood at five feet and six inches. Without shoe lifts, no one knows the true height of Donald Trump. While he walks with a wobble, he is still considerably taller than Winston Churchill.
Winston Churchill was most famous for his oratorical triumphs. Trump can’t talk. He can barely read a speech. When he goes off script, he passes off the ruff and goes way off near the mudflats by the railroad yard, where the junkyard dogs live. “Take her out,” was voiced as one of Trump’s orders.
Oratorically, Trump can’t hold a candle to Churchill. Not a match, or even the memory of a flame. The guy comes off as dumb. Churchill was always brilliant whether in a quick reply or a lengthy speech. A quick reply from Trump would consist of, “No, you’re the puppet”, or “She’d do anything for a campaign contribution”, and other misspelled comments.
Churchill once said, “He is a modest man, and has a great deal to be modest about.” While Trump also has a great deal to be modest about, he was never a modest man. He is blatantly public about his ignorance and his incompetency. “Use Clorox.”
So when the White House tries to compare the two as brilliant soulmates, they should stop. The two do not resemble one another in beliefs, attitudes, honor, or ideology.
One was brilliant. The other is, oh well...
Read more by this author:


thespoof--2020-06-03--Zombie Preparedness and a Defense of the CDC’s COVID-19 Response

The Center for Disease Control ( “ CDC ” ) has not performed very well during the pandemic .
Early on , for example , we were told that masks did no good .
Who knows how many lives this cost ?
Then we were told that masks , even ones constructed out of cloth and paper , should be worn .
Today , many Americans sensibly won ’ t venture into a grocery store , post office or the like without wearing a mask .
The CDC first warned that the COVID-19 virus could live on many surfaces for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ told that the virus “ does not spread easily ” via surfaces , and some facilities are already using this as an excuse to be much less careful with surfaces .
How many lives will this cost ?
The CDC , to its credit did warn Americans that although cloth and paper can serve as a substitute for a surgical or N-95 mask if such masks are not available , cloth and paper do not work as substitutes for condoms ( See “ Paper or Cloth are not Substitutes for Condoms ” ) @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the defensive when was asked about the CDC ’ s early stumbling .
He reminded us that the CDC has much more to worry about than just the coronavirus .
For example , it was in the middle of updating its zombie preparedness strategy and lobbying congress for more money for such purposes when the pandemic hit .
( Zombie preparedness is an actual CDC initiative ; google “ CDC : Zombie preparedness ” or take a look at https : //www.cdc.gov/cpr/zombie/index.htm ) .
Shlong suggested that anyone that is critical of the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to get a better sense of its massive responsibilities .
“ Overall , ” Shlong claimed , “ the Center continues to do a great job.
” Shlong also attempted to deflect blame by observing that we would be in much better shape if the FDA , which is independent of the CDC , had gotten its “ s___ together ” and facilitated better testing early on in the pandemic .
Shlong went on to mention that the CDC now considers COVID-19 to be a STD .
It recommends that people wear a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a condom , when having sex .
I will discuss that in more detail in my next post .

The Center for Disease Control (“CDC”) has not performed very well during the pandemic. Early on, for example, we were told that masks did no good. Who knows how many lives this cost? Then we were told that masks, even ones constructed out of cloth and paper, should be worn. Today, many Americans sensibly won’t venture into a grocery store, post office or the like without wearing a mask.
The CDC first warned that the COVID-19 virus could live on many surfaces for days. Now, we’re told that the virus “does not spread easily” via surfaces, and some facilities are already using this as an excuse to be much less careful with surfaces. How many lives will this cost? The CDC, to its credit did warn Americans that although cloth and paper can serve as a substitute for a surgical or N-95 mask if such masks are not available, cloth and paper do not work as substitutes for condoms (See “Paper or Cloth are not Substitutes for Condoms”).
Spokesperson David Shlong was clearly on the defensive when was asked about the CDC’s early stumbling. He reminded us that the CDC has much more to worry about than just the coronavirus. For example, it was in the middle of updating its zombie preparedness strategy and lobbying congress for more money for such purposes when the pandemic hit. (Zombie preparedness is an actual CDC initiative; google “CDC: Zombie preparedness” or take a look at https://www.cdc.gov/cpr/zombie/index.htm). Shlong suggested that anyone that is critical of the Center take a look at its website to get a better sense of its massive responsibilities. “Overall,” Shlong claimed, “the Center continues to do a great job.” Shlong also attempted to deflect blame by observing that we would be in much better shape if the FDA, which is independent of the CDC, had gotten its “s___ together” and facilitated better testing early on in the pandemic.
Shlong went on to mention that the CDC now considers COVID-19 to be a STD. It recommends that people wear a mask and gloves, as well as a condom, when having sex. I will discuss that in more detail in my next post.


thespoof--2020-06-03--Trump Read 10 Commandments From The Bible At St. John’s Church

The fake news media are such a terrible group .
None of them even mentioned Trump ’ s readings from the bible as he stood in front of St. John ’ s Episcopal Church .
The fakers even shut down their cameras when he opened the book .
And those rumors that moths flew out of the book , and that pages were still not sliced apart is just plain more fake news .
Why didn ’ t the fake media say that the book burst into flames when it was handed to Trump ?
They fake everything else .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ it with him while he walked to the church .
It might have thrown him off balance , and he could have stumbled .
So an assistant brought it for him .
Big , so what ?
The bible was said to be the old family bible brought over with Trump ’ s grandfather from Germany when the family was still known as Drumpf .
Since old grandpa Drumpf ran a house of ill repute ( brothel or call house ) during the Yukon gold rush , it ’ s pretty doubtful that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ But , while the cameras were turned off , Trump was said to have slowly read the Ten Commandments out loud , ticking off the few he hadn ’ t broken .
“ I ’ ll have to get to that one.
” The pastor of the church was horrified .
Not only did Trump fail to ask her permission to park himself in front of what is known as The President ’ s Church , but he used the holy ground just to hold a photo-op .
So he wanted to show @ @ @ @ @ @ @ causing a ruckus , he was reading the bible—useful film for his presidential reelection campaign .
And the photo-op was of a group of fat old white guys like Trump .
The boarded-up church looked embarrassed .
Trump looked pumped .
The old fat guys looked the other way , or at their feet .
George Floyd must have been just amazed .
But the fake news will never tell it the way it really happened .
They are such fakers .
Read more by this author : • Buy A Very British @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Amazon.com

The fake news media are such a terrible group. None of them even mentioned Trump’s readings from the bible as he stood in front of St. John’s Episcopal Church.
The fakers even shut down their cameras when he opened the book. And those rumors that moths flew out of the book, and that pages were still not sliced apart is just plain more fake news.
Why didn’t the fake media say that the book burst into flames when it was handed to Trump? They fake everything else. Yes, he didn’t carry it with him while he walked to the church. It might have thrown him off balance, and he could have stumbled. So an assistant brought it for him. Big, so what?
The bible was said to be the old family bible brought over with Trump’s grandfather from Germany when the family was still known as Drumpf. Since old grandpa Drumpf ran a house of ill repute (brothel or call house) during the Yukon gold rush, it’s pretty doubtful that old grandpa ever opened the book.
But, while the cameras were turned off, Trump was said to have slowly read the Ten Commandments out loud, ticking off the few he hadn’t broken.
“I’ll have to get to that one.”
The pastor of the church was horrified. Not only did Trump fail to ask her permission to park himself in front of what is known as The President’s Church, but he used the holy ground just to hold a photo-op.
So he wanted to show that, while protesters were marching and causing a ruckus, he was reading the bible—useful film for his presidential reelection campaign.
And the photo-op was of a group of fat old white guys like Trump.
The boarded-up church looked embarrassed. Trump looked pumped. The old fat guys looked the other way, or at their feet.
George Floyd must have been just amazed.
But the fake news will never tell it the way it really happened. They are such fakers.
Read more by this author:


thespoof--2020-06-02--Now Do You See Why Putin Elected Donald Trump

With revolution fomenting in the streets of cities throughout the United States , cops on horseback , tear gas , rubber bullets , and Billie clubs , do you see why Putin wanted a know-nothing white supremacist in the White House ?
President Hillary Clinton would have jumped and taken action at the first hint of coronavirus .
President Obama did the same thing when Ebola surfaced in Africa .
He stopped it , isolated it in Africa , and Ebola did not become a world pandemic .
With the morbidly obese talk-show host in the White House , who @ @ @ @ @ @ @ now a world pandemic .
Unlike President Obama , Trump did nothing .
Said it would go away by itself .
Warm weather would kill it .
Try drinking Lysol or Clorox .
After gassing peaceful protesters across the street from the White House , ( televised for the whole world to see ) Trump , surrounded and protected by a group of flunkies , bravely stepped out of the White House , empty-handed , and walked across the street to the front of St. John 's Episcopal Church .
He produced a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and swung it around overhead , like a designer handbag while on a red carpet .
He then called for his flunkies to step forward for a photo-op .
A very prudent guest on MSNBC said , “ Considering how much he plays golf and goes to church , he should have been swinging a golf club instead.
” Back in Russia , Putin smiling ear-to-ear , is on his front porch playing the banjo , and he is as triumphant as soldiers after conquering the beaches of Normandy .
Read more by @ @ @ @ @ @ @ British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , at Amazon.com

With revolution fomenting in the streets of cities throughout the United States, cops on horseback, tear gas, rubber bullets, and Billie clubs, do you see why Putin wanted a know-nothing white supremacist in the White House?
President Hillary Clinton would have jumped and taken action at the first hint of coronavirus. President Obama did the same thing when Ebola surfaced in Africa. He stopped it, isolated it in Africa, and Ebola did not become a world pandemic.
With the morbidly obese talk-show host in the White House, who Putin helped to elect, coronavirus is now a world pandemic. Unlike President Obama, Trump did nothing. Said it would go away by itself. Warm weather would kill it. Try drinking Lysol or Clorox.
After gassing peaceful protesters across the street from the White House, (televised for the whole world to see) Trump, surrounded and protected by a group of flunkies, bravely stepped out of the White House, empty-handed, and walked across the street to the front of St. John's Episcopal Church. He produced a bible (from who knows where) and swung it around overhead, like a designer handbag while on a red carpet. He then called for his flunkies to step forward for a photo-op.
A very prudent guest on MSNBC said, “Considering how much he plays golf and goes to church, he should have been swinging a golf club instead.”
Back in Russia, Putin smiling ear-to-ear, is on his front porch playing the banjo, and he is as triumphant as soldiers after conquering the beaches of Normandy.
Read more by this author:


thespoof--2020-06-01--Sanders and AOC on the Coronavirus: “Capitalism Kills; Socialism Saves.”

Bernie Sanders is baffled by , and enraged with , what the world is missing about COVID-19 : “ Isn ’ t it amazing , ” he observed , “ that Cuba and Venezuela , both of which I have long admired , have had so few deaths from the virus ?
” He is proposing that the U.S. withdraw all sanctions against these countries in return for their providing assistance and expertise in combatting COVID-19 to the U.S .
He went on : “ Capitalists love numbers , so look at the f___ numbers .
Anyone can see that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Venezuela have accomplished in this difficult time proves it.
” According to Worldometer and other web-sites , Venezuela and Cuba have reported very few COVID-19 deaths .
To date , the two countries combined have reported about 100 deaths from the virus .
If one were to extrapolate these numbers to the entire world , there would have been about 20,000 deaths worldwide .
There have , unfortunately , been more than that number of deaths just in New York .
When asked if there was any other possible explanation that might account @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the countries , Sanders replied : “ Absolutely not .
As my colleagues on the other side of the aisle used to like to say , the numbers are the numbers.
” The event ended with Sander ’ s asserting : “ Capitalism kills ; socialism saves , ” and Congresswoman AOC , who attended the briefing , shouting “ Viva Fidel !
Viva Fidel !
”

Bernie Sanders is baffled by, and enraged with, what the world is missing about COVID-19: “Isn’t it amazing,” he observed, “that Cuba and Venezuela, both of which I have long admired, have had so few deaths from the virus?” He is proposing that the U.S. withdraw all sanctions against these countries in return for their providing assistance and expertise in combatting COVID-19 to the U.S.
He went on: “Capitalists love numbers, so look at the f___ numbers. Anyone can see that socialism works, and what Cuba and Venezuela have accomplished in this difficult time proves it.”
According to Worldometer and other web-sites, Venezuela and Cuba have reported very few COVID-19 deaths. To date, the two countries combined have reported about 100 deaths from the virus. If one were to extrapolate these numbers to the entire world, there would have been about 20,000 deaths worldwide. There have, unfortunately, been more than that number of deaths just in New York. When asked if there was any other possible explanation that might account for so few reported COVID-19 deaths in the countries, Sanders replied:
“Absolutely not. As my colleagues on the other side of the aisle used to like to say, the numbers are the numbers.”
The event ended with Sander’s asserting: “Capitalism kills; socialism saves,” and Congresswoman AOC, who attended the briefing, shouting “Viva Fidel! Viva Fidel!”