thespoof--2020-09-24--President Trump Insists That The Black Love Child Is Not His

CORNBREAD CREEK , North Carolina – ( Satire News ) – President Trump held a presidential campaign hate rally in @ @ @ @ @ for being the “ Glockenspiel Capital of The World ” .
He spoke to a @ @ @ @ @ that something like the Coronavirus pandemic is not going to scare them , no sirree @ @ @ @ @ Jefferson ’ s secretary of crops used to say .
POTUS took time from attacking @ @ @ @ @ , Black Kitty Meow Meow , and Jimmy Kimmel , to assure the assembled throng @ @ @ @ @ by The Pensacola Global Globe newspaper , stating that he has a black love child @ @ @ @ @ Trump said that he has always been an all-white chicken breast type of guy .
@ @ @ @ @ look at the photo of the half-African-American baby , and commented that the baby ’ @ @ @ @ @ Anderson Cooper , George Conway , or maybe even Eric Trump .

CORNBREAD CREEK, North Carolina – (Satire News) – President Trump held a presidential campaign hate rally in the town that is noted for being the “Glockenspiel Capital of The World”.
He spoke to a mask-less crowd that clearly showed that something like the Coronavirus pandemic is not going to scare them, no sirree Bob, as President Thomas Jefferson’s secretary of crops used to say.
POTUS took time from attacking Joe Biden, Kamala Harris, Black Kitty Meow Meow, and Jimmy Kimmel, to assure the assembled throng that the report put out by The Pensacola Global Globe newspaper, stating that he has a black love child, is totally false.
Trump said that he has always been an all-white chicken breast type of guy.
He took a real close look at the photo of the half-African-American baby, and commented that the baby’s daddy could possibly be Anderson Cooper, George Conway, or maybe even Eric Trump.


thespoof--2020-09-25--Donald Trump Sperm Bank Project To Go Ahead

President Donald Trump may finally have gone some way to acknowledging his own part in the deaths of more than 200,000 US citizens from the Coronavirus , by announcing his intention to open brand new state-of-the-art sperm banks in every major city across the country .
Trump 's misjudgement of the seriousness of the threat from COVID-19 , slow decision-making , poor , incorrect advice , dangerous recommendations for its prevention , ridiculing face masks , and an overall lack of competence when dealing with virus issues , has led to many unnecessary deaths .
Recently refused admission to a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ showing that he has the good of future generations at heart .
There is one major issue , however .
According to those close to the President , he not only intends to be responsible for the enormous cost of building the sperm banks - provisionally named Trump Spunk - and for paying the salaries of staff , he 's also decided to be a donor .
One White House official said : '' Well , he thinks that , as he 's the best president the US has ever had , and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ rich and handsome as well , future generations would benefit from being able to depend on a long line of people just like him . ''
Trump is well aware of how much 'hard work ' it is going to be , keeping dozens of sperm banks adequately stocked .
But , continued the official : '' He 's the one person on the planet best equipped to make a decent attempt it - a complete and wanker ''

President Donald Trump may finally have gone some way to acknowledging his own part in the deaths of more than 200,000 US citizens from the Coronavirus, by announcing his intention to open brand new state-of-the-art sperm banks in every major city across the country.
Trump's misjudgement of the seriousness of the threat from COVID-19, slow decision-making, poor, incorrect advice, dangerous recommendations for its prevention, ridiculing face masks, and an overall lack of competence when dealing with virus issues, has led to many unnecessary deaths.
Recently refused admission to a sperm bank, he seems to be showing that he has the good of future generations at heart.
There is one major issue, however.
According to those close to the President, he not only intends to be responsible for the enormous cost of building the sperm banks - provisionally named Trump Spunk - and for paying the salaries of staff, he's also decided to be a donor.
The only donor.
One White House official said:
"Well, he thinks that, as he's the best president the US has ever had, and he is someone with superior intelligence and rich and handsome as well, future generations would benefit from being able to depend on a long line of people just like him."
Trump is well aware of how much 'hard work' it is going to be, keeping dozens of sperm banks adequately stocked.
But, continued the official:


thespoof--2020-09-25--The Name Karen Is Now The Most Unpopular Female Baby Name in The U.S.

CHICAGO - ( Satire News ) – The National Baby-Naming Registry Federation has just announced that , in the past two months , there has not been a single female baby anywhere in the entire nation given the name Karen .
Federation assistant director Alana P. Septagusto , told The Chicago Daily Wind that the negative connotation the name Karen has received has caused it to go from # 293 in popularity all the way down to # 14,901 .
The name Karen refers to a middle-aged white woman , usually overweight , somewhat ugly , quite uneducated , and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of her skin makes her entitled and privileged , and , therefore , better than black people .
The country has seen examples of blatant hate from Barbecue Karen , Swimming Pool Karen , Convenience Store Karen , and even Adult Sex Toy Store Karen .
The United States Center for Hurricane Naming has even taken the name Karen out of their master list of future hurricanes .
The Chicago Daily Wind reports that about 91 % of all white citizens are also extremely offended by these ‘ I ’ m better than @ @ @ @ @ @ @

CHICAGO - (Satire News) – The National Baby-Naming Registry Federation has just announced that, in the past two months, there has not been a single female baby anywhere in the entire nation given the name Karen.
Federation assistant director Alana P. Septagusto, told The Chicago Daily Wind that the negative connotation the name Karen has received has caused it to go from #293 in popularity all the way down to #14,901.
The name Karen refers to a middle-aged white woman, usually overweight, somewhat ugly, quite uneducated, and who seems to think that the color of her skin makes her entitled and privileged, and, therefore, better than black people.
The country has seen examples of blatant hate from Barbecue Karen, Swimming Pool Karen, Convenience Store Karen, and even Adult Sex Toy Store Karen.
The United States Center for Hurricane Naming has even taken the name Karen out of their master list of future hurricanes.
The Chicago Daily Wind reports that about 91% of all white citizens are also extremely offended by these ‘I’m better than you’ arrogantly sarcastic Karen bitches.


thespoof--2020-09-25--Newly Discovered Reports Show That Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham Have Received Campaign Donatio

Newly Discovered Reports Show That Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham Have Received Campaign Donations From The Kremlin

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – France ’ s Ohh La La News Agency is reporting that they have discovered secret reports showing that the Kremlin has contributed quite a lot of money to two U.S. senatorial campaigns .
The report shows that Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell ’ s campaign has received $ 3.8 million from the Kremlin , and North Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham ’ s campaign has received $ 3.5 million from the Kremlin .
It is stated in the report that the money was doled out in $ 100 increments so as not to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ was funneled through three banks , The Deutsch Bank ( NYC ) , the First Farmers Bank of Waterloo ( Iowa ) , and The Pilgrim Hat International Bank ( Boston ) .
When McConnell was asked to explain , he said that he knew nothing about it , as his wife , Ling-Ling , handles all incoming campaign money .
Meanwhile , Graham said that he was not aware of any campaign money from the Kremlin .
Senator Graham did tell Sean Hannity if the damn devil himself offered him $ 3.5 @ @ @ @ @ @ @ than it takes two hummingbirds to make love .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – France’s Ohh La La News Agency is reporting that they have discovered secret reports showing that the Kremlin has contributed quite a lot of money to two U.S. senatorial campaigns.
The report shows that Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell’s campaign has received $3.8 million from the Kremlin, and North Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham’s campaign has received $3.5 million from the Kremlin.
It is stated in the report that the money was doled out in $100 increments so as not to stir up any suspicion.
The money was funneled through three banks, The Deutsch Bank (NYC), the First Farmers Bank of Waterloo (Iowa), and The Pilgrim Hat International Bank (Boston).
When McConnell was asked to explain, he said that he knew nothing about it, as his wife, Ling-Ling, handles all incoming campaign money.
Meanwhile, Graham said that he was not aware of any campaign money from the Kremlin.
Senator Graham did tell Sean Hannity if the damn devil himself offered him $3.5 million, he would take it quicker than it takes two hummingbirds to make love.


thespoof--2020-09-26--Russian Vaccine To Be Mass Produced For US Market At Trump Sperm Banks

There was great news for the entire country , and even the world , this morning , when it was revealed that the Coronavirus vaccine currently being tested in Russia , is to be mass produced within the United States at President Trump 's extensive network of sperm.banks .
The vaccine , Sputnik-5 , is still at the testing stage in Russia , but the Russian president , Vladimir Putin , is keen to have it manufactured and distributed within the US with all available speed .
Putin said , yesterday , that he is 99 % certain that the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and that he is eager to `` get it amongst the American people as soon as possible , so that no more time is wasted . ''
There is one major difference to the Russian vaccine : in the US , for patenting reasons , the name of the drug will be Spunkit-45 .
President Trump was overjoyed at the news , and applauded Mr. Putin 's decision to use his facilities for the production of the drug which , it 's hoped , will save the lives of millions of ordinary Americans @ @ @ @ @ @ @ producing a 'lifesaver ' alongside a 'lifegiver ' is pure genius , '' said an ecstatic Trump via Twitter .
`` That 's why Mr. Putin is the leader of the free world . ''

There was great news for the entire country, and even the world, this morning, when it was revealed that the Coronavirus vaccine currently being tested in Russia, is to be mass produced within the United States at President Trump's extensive network of sperm.banks.
The vaccine, Sputnik-5, is still at the testing stage in Russia, but the Russian president, Vladimir Putin, is keen to have it manufactured and distributed within the US with all available speed.
Putin said, yesterday, that he is 99% certain that the vaccine will prove effective against COVID-19, and that he is eager to "get it amongst the American people as soon as possible, so that no more time is wasted."
There is one major difference to the Russian vaccine: in the US, for patenting reasons, the name of the drug will be Spunkit-45.
President Trump was overjoyed at the news, and applauded Mr. Putin's decision to use his facilities for the production of the drug which, it's hoped, will save the lives of millions of ordinary Americans.
"To have the idea of producing a 'lifesaver' alongside a 'lifegiver' is pure genius," said an ecstatic Trump via Twitter. "That's why Mr. Putin is the leader of the free world."


thespoof--2020-09-26--The Nazi Alliance of AmeriKKKa Names President Trump It’s 2020 “Man of the Year”

ROTTEN PEACHES , Georgia – ( Satire News ) – One of the biggest Nazi organizations in the nation , @ @ @ @ @ , has just bestowed its annual “ Man of the Year ” award to President @ @ @ @ @ will join a list of former winners , who include Alabama Governor George Wallace , @ @ @ @ @ and Ku Klux Klan Grand Exalted Wizard , David Duke of Louisiana .
`` Moscow @ @ @ @ @ one who informed the President of his award .
Trump said that all three former @ @ @ @ @ were all misunderstood , since they actually liked the blacks just as much as he @ @ @ @ @ to be the honored guest at the award presentation dinner , which will be held @ @ @ @ @ in Turkey Tits , Tennessee , two days before the presidential election .
Music will @ @ @ @ @ , Scott Baio , and the President ’ s favorite group , The Trumpapalooza Ass-Kickin @ @ @ @ @ on the mouth organ .

ROTTEN PEACHES, Georgia – (Satire News) – One of the biggest Nazi organizations in the nation, the Nazi Alliance of AmeriKKKa, has just bestowed its annual “Man of the Year” award to President Donald Trump.
The president will join a list of former winners, who include Alabama Governor George Wallace, Georgia Governor Lester Maddox, and Ku Klux Klan Grand Exalted Wizard, David Duke of Louisiana.
"Moscow Mitch" McConnell was the one who informed the President of his award.
Trump said that all three former winners were true Americans who were all misunderstood, since they actually liked the blacks just as much as he does.
Trump has agreed to be the honored guest at the award presentation dinner, which will be held in the Heil Hitler Hall in Turkey Tits, Tennessee, two days before the presidential election.
Music will be provided by Lee Greenwood, Scott Baio, and the President’s favorite group, The Trumpapalooza Ass-Kickin' Band featuring Hope Hicks on the mouth organ.


thespoof--2020-09-28--President Trump Blames The California Wildfires on Fireflies

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – President Trump attended church services at Our Lady of The Perpetual Swamp - well , actually , he drove by the church on his way to get breakfast at McDonalds .
According to a White House insider , the President remarked to Melania that the most recent Potomatical Polls show him leading Biden by 67 % to 23 % .
Melania asked him if that wasn ’ t the same polling agency that said that Mount Rushmore was going to burn down before Labor Day .
As they were leaving the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a call from California Governor Gavin Newsom .
He told him that California is in danger of possibly completely burning down .
The governor told POTUS that the Santa Ana winds are here , and they are going to make the situation much worse .
Trump told him that 's precisely why he wanted the border wall built to keep those Santa Ana winds from crossing the border .
The President reminded him that he told him , last year , that if he did not control the firefly population , those little @ @ @ @ @ @ @ lots of wildfires .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – President Trump attended church services at Our Lady of The Perpetual Swamp - well, actually, he drove by the church on his way to get breakfast at McDonalds.
According to a White House insider, the President remarked to Melania that the most recent Potomatical Polls show him leading Biden by 67% to 23%.
Melania asked him if that wasn’t the same polling agency that said that Mount Rushmore was going to burn down before Labor Day.
As they were leaving the McDonalds drive-thru window, the President got a call from California Governor Gavin Newsom. He told him that California is in danger of possibly completely burning down.
The governor told POTUS that the Santa Ana winds are here, and they are going to make the situation much worse.
Trump told him that's precisely why he wanted the border wall built to keep those Santa Ana winds from crossing the border.
"What???" The governor asked.
The President reminded him that he told him, last year, that if he did not control the firefly population, those little sons-of-bitches were going to cause lots and lots of wildfires.
“Did you hear me Gavin?”
"Gavin?"
[CLICK]


thespoof--2020-09-28--The Donald would like his final resting place to be a pyramid

United States President , Donald J Trump , has expressed a strong desire to have his remains buried under the @ @ @ @ @ .
However , that 's not enough for Donald .
He wants to have his @ @ @ @ @ , replacing the existing carving that was based on a deceased Pharaoh .
Trump has @ @ @ @ @ and chosen a design that will forever look out into the Egyptian desert .
If @ @ @ @ @ , he will be the first US President to be buried outside the United States @ @ @ @ @ people to travel there and worship his image for time immemorial .

United States President, Donald J Trump, has expressed a strong desire to have his remains buried under the Egyptian Pyramid of the Sphinx.
However, that's not enough for Donald. He wants to have his image carved into the pyramid, replacing the existing carving that was based on a deceased Pharaoh. Trump has supposedly organised a sculptor, and chosen a design that will forever look out into the Egyptian desert.
If he goes ahead with this, he will be the first US President to be buried outside the United States. He may even inspire people to travel there and worship his image for time immemorial.


thespoof--2020-09-27--Biden Demands Trump Take A Spelling Test Before Debate

Presidential candidate Joseph Biden has demanded that Donald Trump take a spelling test before the presidential debates .
There was a single requirement before taking the test .
Trump would be scanned to see if he were wearing a wire or some form of transmitter deep inside his ear to correct his spelling .
Initially , Trump was okay with the entire idea of a spelling test , giggling with pal William Barr .
Trump referred to the spelling test as a rather dillydally waste of time .
`` I 'm the best speller in the history of the world @ @ @ @ @ @ @ single requirement .
Before the televised spelling test , he would have to be scanned from head to toe for the possibility of wearing a transmitter .
Trump was described as immediately balking .
After consulting with the surveillance teams of the CIA and the FBI , Trump announced that it was a degrading exercise and demeaning to the office of the President of the United States of America .
“ No spelling bee before the debates , ” announced his campaign manager .
“ Ah-hah !
” said the Biden team .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ c-a-t. Case closed .
He ’ s too stupid to be president .
Send in the moving vans and the transition team.
” Then the President 's campaign committee announced they would withdraw their request that Biden takes a drug test before the debates .
“ No , no , no , ” insisted Joe Biden .
“ I ’ ll piss across the stage and into a test tube in front of a live audience .
But I want Trump to take a spelling test before we have any debate !
” @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to a need to spend more time with his family before the election .
Read more by this author : • Buy A Very British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , at Amazon.com

Presidential candidate Joseph Biden has demanded that Donald Trump take a spelling test before the presidential debates. There was a single requirement before taking the test. Trump would be scanned to see if he were wearing a wire or some form of transmitter deep inside his ear to correct his spelling.
Initially, Trump was okay with the entire idea of a spelling test, giggling with pal William Barr. Trump referred to the spelling test as a rather dillydally waste of time. "I'm the best speller in the history of the world."
Then Trump learned of the single requirement. Before the televised spelling test, he would have to be scanned from head to toe for the possibility of wearing a transmitter.
Trump was described as immediately balking. After consulting with the surveillance teams of the CIA and the FBI, Trump announced that it was a degrading exercise and demeaning to the office of the President of the United States of America.
“No spelling bee before the debates,” announced his campaign manager.
“Ah-hah!” said the Biden team. “The guy can’t spell c-a-t. Case closed. He’s too stupid to be president. Send in the moving vans and the transition team.”
Then the President's campaign committee announced they would withdraw their request that Biden takes a drug test before the debates.
“No, no, no,” insisted Joe Biden. “I’ll piss across the stage and into a test tube in front of a live audience. But I want Trump to take a spelling test before we have any debate!”
Donald Trump canceled all presidential debates due to a need to spend more time with his family before the election.
.
Read more by this author:


thespoof--2020-09-27--Spoof Writers United In Support For Trump

BILLINGSGATE POST : With the nomination of Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court by President Trump yesterday , a number of Spoof writers who had previously dismissed Trump as a bad dream , overcame their distaste for him and jumped on Trump ’ s bandwagon with all four feet .
Dr. Billingsgate was surprised by the results of a recent poll of Spoof writers conducted by his eponymously named firm , The Billingsgate Institute .
Of the forty-six writers who currently hold status in the Top Writers Chart , not one said he ( she ) would vote for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ this is known as a mortal lock .
What would explain such a tidal change ?
Invincible ignorance , possibly .
This term was used in Mayan moral theology to refer to the state of persons ( such as Christian infidels ) who were ignorant of the Mayan message because they had not yet had an opportunity to hear it .
[ Long before the Spanish Conquistadors conquered the Mayans and stole their gold , Mayans were tossing babies off cliffs to please their gods .
High Chief Hokum , who studied theology @ @ @ @ @ @ @ page from The Summa Theologica , claiming that Christians were incapable of understanding human sacrifice , but due to invincible ignorance , their gods would forgive them . ]
Chief Hokum would certainly understand why the sudden change of heart .
Ignorance has never been a means of grace or salvation , not even for the inculpably ignorant people that might vote for Biden .
Saint Thomas Aquinas agrees .
He said that God in His mercy will lead these souls to the knowledge of the necessary truths , even send them an @ @ @ @ @ @ @ them .
Dirty : “ Yo , Dude .
Your understanding of the unknowable is incomprehensible .
”

BILLINGSGATE POST: With the nomination of Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court by President Trump yesterday, a number of Spoof writers who had previously dismissed Trump as a bad dream, overcame their distaste for him and jumped on Trump’s bandwagon with all four feet.
Dr. Billingsgate was surprised by the results of a recent poll of Spoof writers conducted by his eponymously named firm, The Billingsgate Institute. Of the forty-six writers who currently hold status in the Top Writers Chart, not one said he(she) would vote for Sleepy Joe. In betting circles, this is known as a mortal lock.
What would explain such a tidal change? Invincible ignorance, possibly. This term was used in Mayan moral theology to refer to the state of persons (such as Christian infidels) who were ignorant of the Mayan message because they had not yet had an opportunity to hear it.
[Long before the Spanish Conquistadors conquered the Mayans and stole their gold, Mayans were tossing babies off cliffs to please their gods. High Chief Hokum, who studied theology under St. Thomas Aquinas, stole a page from The Summa Theologica, claiming that Christians were incapable of understanding human sacrifice, but due to invincible ignorance, their gods would forgive them.]
Chief Hokum would certainly understand why the sudden change of heart. Ignorance has never been a means of grace or salvation, not even for the inculpably ignorant people that might vote for Biden. Saint Thomas Aquinas agrees. He said that God in His mercy will lead these souls to the knowledge of the necessary truths, even send them an angel, if necessary, to instruct them.
Slim: “Dr. Billingsgate, I presume, is that angel.“
Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Your understanding of the unknowable is incomprehensible.”


thespoof--2020-09-28--Joe Rogan NOT supplying questions to Chris Wallace and the candidates for presidential debate

Following interest in Joe Rogan 's hosting the first presidential debate , some sources ( anonymous ) indicate he is scripting questions and already passing them along .
Moderator of Debate # 1 , FOX News ' Chris Wallace , says not so , but he is “ interested in all perspectives.
” The Democrats ' Donna Brazile , who forwarded questions to Hillary Clinton ahead of time in the 2016 debates , has responded : “ Absolutely out of the question .
We can not allow the candidates to know what questions they will be asked ahead of time @ @ @ @ @ @ @ out .
This time it 's too important !
” Joe Rogan has responded : “ If I ca n't have a pure four-hour debate with only the three of us , and no editing , no messing with that script , at least I can suggest questions .
Right ?
” Mr. Trump : “ Let me at it , whatever it is , I can take it .
Maybe we could allow a ten-minute pause halfway into the four hours for Sleepy Joe to take a nap ?
” Mr. Biden @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ready , but frankly that Rogan studio is a mess of Covid and God knows what else from all the radicals he 's interviewed in there.
” As to whether he scripted the following questions , Mr. Rogan has replied : “ Maybe.
” 1 .
When will the United States stop messing around and finally go to war with China , Russia , Iran , North Korea , Turkey , and Syria ?
2 .
If the Covid-19 pandemic is mostly a scam involving the Pharmaceutical Vaccine Companies , which company is @ @ @ @ @ @ @ getting out a product ?
3 .
Since the Wall Street plan is to transfer wealth to the billionaire class , bankrupt the economy , and take over small businesses , should there be a movement in this country to ban billionaires and take their money ?
4 .
Do the intelligence agencies of the United States have any information on how rioters in Seattle , Portland , and other places are being financed to bring mayhem to this country and influence the 2020 election ?
Mr. Wallace has responded “ Well , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ask questions quite like these , but they are interesting !
” Mr. Trump : “ I 'll do my best to make clear I 'm for making America great again despite these few annoying details we need to get over.
” Mr. Biden : “ As I have repeatedly said , we will mask up for the duration , whatever that is .
As to social distancing , our leading academic institutions are doing studies at this time .
We may need to go to twelve feet apart .
Masks on at @ @ @ @

Following interest in Joe Rogan's hosting the first presidential debate, some sources (anonymous) indicate he is scripting questions and already passing them along.
Moderator of Debate #1, FOX News' Chris Wallace, says not so, but he is “interested in all perspectives.”
The Democrats' Donna Brazile, who forwarded questions to Hillary Clinton ahead of time in the 2016 debates, has responded:
“Absolutely out of the question. We cannot allow the candidates to know what questions they will be asked ahead of time, so they can figure it all out. This time it's too important!”
Joe Rogan has responded: “If I can't have a pure four-hour debate with only the three of us, and no editing, no messing with that script, at least I can suggest questions. Right?”
Mr. Trump: “Let me at it, whatever it is, I can take it. Maybe we could allow a ten-minute pause halfway into the four hours for Sleepy Joe to take a nap?”
Mr. Biden: “I will be masked and ready, but frankly that Rogan studio is a mess of Covid and God knows what else from all the radicals he's interviewed in there.”
As to whether he scripted the following questions, Mr. Rogan has replied: “Maybe.”
1. When will the United States stop messing around and finally go to war with China, Russia, Iran, North Korea, Turkey, and Syria?
2. If the Covid-19 pandemic is mostly a scam involving the Pharmaceutical Vaccine Companies, which company is in the lead at this time for getting out a product?
3. Since the Wall Street plan is to transfer wealth to the billionaire class, bankrupt the economy, and take over small businesses, should there be a movement in this country to ban billionaires and take their money?
4. Do the intelligence agencies of the United States have any information on how rioters in Seattle, Portland, and other places are being financed to bring mayhem to this country and influence the 2020 election?
Mr. Wallace has responded “Well, I don't know if we can ask questions quite like these, but they are interesting!”
Mr. Trump: “I'll do my best to make clear I'm for making America great again despite these few annoying details we need to get over.”
Mr. Biden: “As I have repeatedly said, we will mask up for the duration, whatever that is. As to social distancing, our leading academic institutions are doing studies at this time. We may need to go to twelve feet apart. Masks on at all times!"


thespoof--2020-09-27--Progressives Turn to Satanism

Progressives Turn to Satanism

According to a woman quoted in The Huffington Post on Friday , it was the death of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg that drove her to the dark side .
“ When Justice Ginsburg died , ” said the woman , “ I knew immediately that our civil and reproductive rights ( were ) in danger like never before .
And , so , I have turned to Satanism.
” “ Well , ” Joe Scarborough , an MSNBC commentator sputtered , perplexed at the harsh reaction of conservatives to this new development .
“ Who hasn ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ four years ?
I have to admit that Satanism is also a perfectly logical choice of faith for radical feminists—even better than Methodism -- since the latter might balk at unrestrained child sacrifice.
” Better informed defenders of Satanism subsequently cautioned that child sacrifice , and human sacrifice more generally , is not a rite associated with Satanism per se , but more often with communism , which is a different left-wing faith , although one often confused with Satanism .
The Satanic Temple , they insisted , does not worship Satan as @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of self-indulgence , wounded pride , defiance of all external authority , and self-worship .
“ You ’ re talking about me !
” CNN ’ s Don Lemon joked when one of his guests repeated this observation on his evening broadcast .
“ No , seriously !
I must be a Satanist .
”

According to a woman quoted in The Huffington Post on Friday, it was the death of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg that drove her to the dark side. “When Justice Ginsburg died,” said the woman, “I knew immediately that our civil and reproductive rights (were) in danger like never before. And, so, I have turned to Satanism.”
“Well,” Joe Scarborough, an MSNBC commentator sputtered, perplexed at the harsh reaction of conservatives to this new development. “Who hasn’t felt like turning to Satan these last four years? I have to admit that Satanism is also a perfectly logical choice of faith for radical feminists—even better than Methodism--since the latter might balk at unrestrained child sacrifice.”
Better informed defenders of Satanism subsequently cautioned that child sacrifice, and human sacrifice more generally, is not a rite associated with Satanism per se, but more often with communism, which is a different left-wing faith, although one often confused with Satanism. The Satanic Temple, they insisted, does not worship Satan as a deity, but as an archetype of self-indulgence, wounded pride, defiance of all external authority, and self-worship.
“You’re talking about me!” CNN’s Don Lemon joked when one of his guests repeated this observation on his evening broadcast. “No, seriously! I must be a Satanist.”


thespoof--2020-09-27--The President is Furious That The Post Office Sent Him a Change of Address Card

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – A White House insider told NBC News that President Trump threw @ @ @ @ @ behind-the-scenes tantrums .
The insider revealed that as Trump was checking his daily mail , @ @ @ @ @ from the post office .
He read it and he instantly threw a fit that @ @ @ @ @ fits that WWE wrestlers throw .
It appears that the United States Postal Service had @ @ @ @ @ Change of Address ” card .
The president also received 17 blank voting ballots , @ @ @ @ @ members of his staff .
Melania reportedly got so fed up with her husband ’ @ @ @ @ @ that she uttered a bunch of curse words in Slovenian , and went upstairs to @ @ @ @ @ show , “ The Housewives of Intercourse , Pennsylvania .
”

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A White House insider told NBC News that President Trump threw one of his patented humongous behind-the-scenes tantrums.
The insider revealed that as Trump was checking his daily mail, he noticed a post card from the post office.
He read it and he instantly threw a fit that would rival the kinds of fits that WWE wrestlers throw.
It appears that the United States Postal Service had sent the president a “Change of Address” card.
The president also received 17 blank voting ballots, which he passed out to members of his staff.
Melania reportedly got so fed up with her husband’s ranting and raving, that she uttered a bunch of curse words in Slovenian, and went upstairs to watch her favorite television reality show, “The Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania.”


thespoof--2020-09-27--President Trump Stuns The World by Cancelling The Presidential Election

ALLIGATOR NUTS , Florida – ( Satire News ) – President Trump speaking before a huge crowd at a Walgreens parking lot stunned the audience by making an amazing announcement .
Trump told the crowd that he has decided to cancel the upcoming 2020 presidential election .
He told his supporters that there is just too much cheating going on , on both sides , and both sides have good people , but his side has gooder people .
POTUS said that to save both Joe Biden and himself millions of dollars in campaign expenses , he will just simply @ @ @ @ @ @ @ he says he has the power to do .
He was asked by a reporter for Fox News , if that was really legal .
DJT said that truth be told , he stopped worrying about if things were really legal or not a little over three years ago .
Senator Mitch McConnell heard the news and he yelled out , “ That 's great !
And I know that my little Ling-Ling will be thrilled as hell to know that her 'Frog Face ' will be holding on to his senatorial seat @ @ @ @ @ @ @ who was visiting an old boyfriend in San Francisco , simply remarked , “ Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit .
”

ALLIGATOR NUTS, Florida – (Satire News) – President Trump speaking before a huge crowd at a Walgreens parking lot stunned the audience by making an amazing announcement.
Trump told the crowd that he has decided to cancel the upcoming 2020 presidential election.
He told his supporters that there is just too much cheating going on, on both sides, and both sides have good people, but his side has gooder people.
POTUS said that to save both Joe Biden and himself millions of dollars in campaign expenses, he will just simply do away with the election, which he says he has the power to do.
He was asked by a reporter for Fox News, if that was really legal.
DJT said that truth be told, he stopped worrying about if things were really legal or not a little over three years ago.
Senator Mitch McConnell heard the news and he yelled out, “That's great! And I know that my little Ling-Ling will be thrilled as hell to know that her 'Frog Face' will be holding on to his senatorial seat."
Meanwhile Senator Lindsey Graham, who was visiting an old boyfriend in San Francisco, simply remarked, “Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit.”


thespoof--2020-09-27--Millions of Americans Are Shocked at President Trump's Supreme Court Pick - Amy Barrett

COTTON BALLS , Georgia – ( Satire News ) – Fox News is reporting that after going through 672 possible @ @ @ @ @ Court seat , Trump has finally decided on Amy Conehead Barrett .
Barrett , who @ @ @ @ @ 53 , is a mother of 13 children , including one from Zimbabwe , one @ @ @ @ @ from Minneapolis .
The dishwater blonde is a divorce attorney who proudly boasts that she @ @ @ @ @ , which affected over 7,200 children .
CNN 's Don Lemon spoke briefly with Barrett @ @ @ @ @ at all impressed with the size 13-shoe-wearing woman .
Lemon pointed out that Amy has @ @ @ @ @ her gum , and actually purposely popping it , kind of like a 14-year-old California @ @ @ @ @ The man that Trump calls `` The Black Shadow '' added that he was really @ @ @ @ @ ” chose Barrett , since she clearly has way bigger hands , than Donald 's @ @ @ @ @

COTTON BALLS, Georgia – (Satire News) – Fox News is reporting that after going through 672 possible choices to fill the Supreme Court seat, Trump has finally decided on Amy Conehead Barrett.
Barrett, who is 48, but looks 53, is a mother of 13 children, including one from Zimbabwe, one from Botswana, and one from Minneapolis.
The dishwater blonde is a divorce attorney who proudly boasts that she has broken up 2,903 marriages, which affected over 7,200 children.
CNN's Don Lemon spoke briefly with Barrett and said he was not at all impressed with the size 13-shoe-wearing woman.
Lemon pointed out that Amy has a horrible habit of over-chewing her gum, and actually purposely popping it, kind of like a 14-year-old California valley girl would do.
The man that Trump calls "The Black Shadow" added that he was really surprised that “The Divider-in-Chief” chose Barrett, since she clearly has way bigger hands, than Donald's little bitty toddler hands.


thespoof--2020-09-29--Trump Wants Biden Checked For Penis Pump Before Debate

BILLINGSGATE POST : Prior to leaving for Cleveland this morning to debate Sleepy Joe , President Trump told reporters that @ @ @ @ @ be searched for a penis pump .
“ Something is going on down there with @ @ @ @ @ to his crotch .
“ The sum b*tch is always smiling.
” “ I don @ @ @ @ @ He ’ s got something up his sleeve , or in his case , down @ @ @ @ @ want him checked for memory enhancing drugs and electronic ear devices .
If the guy @ @ @ @ @ without falling asleep , I will be amazed.
” Slim : “ Don ’ t @ @ @ @ @ of penis pump .
Hard to concentration when you hear that pump humming.
” Dirty @ @ @ @ @ all of the penis pumps in Washington , they could drain the swamp .
”

BILLINGSGATE POST: Prior to leaving for Cleveland this morning to debate Sleepy Joe, President Trump told reporters that he will request that Biden be searched for a penis pump.
“Something is going on down there with Joe,” pointing down to his crotch. “The sum b*tch is always smiling.”
“I don’t trust him. He’s got something up his sleeve, or in his case, down his pants.”
“Also want him checked for memory enhancing drugs and electronic ear devices. If the guy makes it through 90 minutes without falling asleep, I will be amazed.”
Slim: “Don’t blame him for being wary of penis pump. Hard to concentration when you hear that pump humming.”
Dirty: “If they consolidated all of the penis pumps in Washington, they could drain the swamp.”


thespoof--2020-09-29--President Donald Trump Is Imploding at Warp Speed

NEW YORK CITY – ( Satire News ) - Many pundits have been predicting that the 45th president would eventually self-destruct , due to his hate-spewing personality , his addiction to golf , and his love for the likes of Sean Hannity , Tucker Carlson , and Hope Hicks .
Just give him enough rope they said , and the “ Divider-in-Chief ” will hang himself .
Everybody hated this poor excuse for a Ringling Brothers , Barnum & Bailey Circus clown .
Well everybody except for his vocal base , who would follow him into the Potomac River , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Piper of Hamelin .
Respected Republicans like Mitt Romney , John Kasich , and the late John McCain warned everyone that `` Trump the Chump '' was nothing more than a big-talking con-artist , a flim-flam man , and just another overweight carnival barker .
And now “ Bunker Boy ” is imploding at warp speed .
He himself has pushed the self-destruct button .
Let ’ s all just hope that the first lady takes the missile launching remote and hides it .
The New York Times discovered that the guy that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the American people ( including Republicans ) over $ 4.8 billion ( with a B ) in back taxes .
Trump has an ego the size of Uranus , the planet .
He truly believes that the world literally revolves around his gigantic fat ass .
Robert De Niro , said that “ Old Baby Hands ” is going to look gorgeous in an orange jumpsuit .
Poor Melania , let ’ s hope that she , unlike poor Marla Maples has a better divorce decree than Tiffany ’ s mom , who @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , walked away with the clothes on her back , some make up , a Cuisinart , a vibrator , and $ 925 in casino chips .

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) - Many pundits have been predicting that the 45th president would eventually self-destruct, due to his hate-spewing personality, his addiction to golf, and his love for the likes of Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, and Hope Hicks.
Just give him enough rope they said, and the “Divider-in-Chief” will hang himself.
Everybody hated this poor excuse for a Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus clown.
Well everybody except for his vocal base, who would follow him into the Potomac River, like the rats that followed the Pied Piper of Hamelin.
Respected Republicans like Mitt Romney, John Kasich, and the late John McCain warned everyone that "Trump the Chump" was nothing more than a big-talking con-artist, a flim-flam man, and just another overweight carnival barker.
And now “Bunker Boy” is imploding at warp speed. He himself has pushed the self-destruct button.
Let’s all just hope that the first lady takes the missile launching remote and hides it.
The New York Times discovered that the guy that currently resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue owes the American people (including Republicans) over $4.8 billion (with a B) in back taxes.
Trump has an ego the size of Uranus, the planet.
He truly believes that the world literally revolves around his gigantic fat ass.
Robert De Niro, said that “Old Baby Hands” is going to look gorgeous in an orange jumpsuit.
Poor Melania, let’s hope that she, unlike poor Marla Maples has a better divorce decree than Tiffany’s mom, who when she divorced “Adolf” Trump, walked away with the clothes on her back, some make up, a Cuisinart, a vibrator, and $925 in casino chips.


thespoof--2020-09-29--People Who Voted for Trump Thought He Would Run Country Like His Business; Unfortunately He Did

Washington - The New York Times reported over the weekend that President Donald Trump had not paid federal taxes in @ @ @ @ @ years , has lost hundreds of millions in the last 20 years , and owes @ @ @ @ @ that is coming due soon .
The self-promoting Trump , whose casino businesses failed and @ @ @ @ @ sell some of his real estate to Russian oligarchs to avoid another bankruptcy , was @ @ @ @ @ he would run the United States government as only a business genius like himself could @ @ @ @ @ mismanaged pandemic , economic collapse , and trillions of dollars of debt , the U.S. @ @ @ @ @ on its way to achieving the dubious financial characteristics of the Trump companies that its @ @ @ @

Washington - The New York Times reported over the weekend that President Donald Trump had not paid federal taxes in 11 of the last 15 years, has lost hundreds of millions in the last 20 years, and owes $400 million to banks that is coming due soon.
The self-promoting Trump, whose casino businesses failed and who was only able to sell some of his real estate to Russian oligarchs to avoid another bankruptcy, was elected president after promising supporters he would run the United States government as only a business genius like himself could. Unfortunately, after a mismanaged pandemic, economic collapse, and trillions of dollars of debt, the U.S. now appears to be well on its way to achieving the dubious financial characteristics of the Trump companies that its leader had promised.


thespoof--2020-09-29--President Donald J. Trump Now Has a New Nickname – The Tax Dodger

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – The New York Times has just released 978 documents showing that President Trump is nothing more than a self-centered , egomaniacal , non-tax-paying chump .
He has a new nickname - The Tax Dodger .
Tilapia Frisbee , with the Right Coast Revue , said that it certainly appears that if POTUS doesn ’ t want to pay taxes , then no one is going to make him , and especially not the dummies at the Internal Revenue Service .
King Donaldo the 1st actually had the baby onions to claim @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , nose hair removal , and Brazilian bikini waxes as business expenses .
Old Baby Fingers even claimed a $ 27,000 deduction for Eric ’ s therapy sessions , which he got because the little peep squeak is afraid of grasshoppers , drizzle , and black women .
The Right Coast Revue reports that the figure that Trump owes to the American people is somewhere in the neighborhood of $ 1.73 billion .
Trump ’ s former lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen so eloquently wrote in his book , “ Anyone who denies @ @ @ @ @ @ @ hate-monger , a racist , a sexual predator , and now a tax dodger , is either a Trump Right or Wronger , or else he ’ s from the planet Uranus . ''

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The New York Times has just released 978 documents showing that President Trump is nothing more than a self-centered, egomaniacal, non-tax-paying chump.
He has a new nickname - The Tax Dodger.
Tilapia Frisbee, with the Right Coast Revue, said that it certainly appears that if POTUS doesn’t want to pay taxes, then no one is going to make him, and especially not the dummies at the Internal Revenue Service.
King Donaldo the 1st actually had the baby onions to claim Ivanka’s haircuts, eyebrow trims, nose hair removal, and Brazilian bikini waxes as business expenses.
Old Baby Fingers even claimed a $27,000 deduction for Eric’s therapy sessions, which he got because the little peep squeak is afraid of grasshoppers, drizzle, and black women.
The Right Coast Revue reports that the figure that Trump owes to the American people is somewhere in the neighborhood of $1.73 billion.
Trump’s former lawyer and fixer Michael Cohen so eloquently wrote in his book, “Anyone who denies that Pee-Pee Boy isn’t a hate-monger, a racist, a sexual predator, and now a tax dodger, is either a Trump Right or Wronger, or else he’s from the planet Uranus."


thespoof--2020-09-28--Trump Announces Voter Fraud Before It Occurred

Did Donald Trump tell a lie ?
Is the Pope Catholic ?
Is the Queen of England British ?
Does morning follow sunrise ?
Or… Editor ’ s note : Okay .
We get the point .
What did he say this time ?
Journalists throughout the world , particularly those at Spoof News , have noticed that at his last press conference , Donald Trump dismissed mail-in voting , using an example of several Trump ballots having been thrown away at a Pennsylvania voting precinct .
Investigative journalists questioned the validity of Trump ’ s accusation .
( Lord @ @ @ @ @ @ @ off at the mouth . )
Lord knows , Trump has a tendency to exaggerate .
So journalists in Pennsylvania went to checked in at the voting precinct .
A red Ferrari was seen speeding away just as they drove into the precinct parking lot .
No one at the voting precinct would reply .
But someone held up seven ballot envelops , five of which were already opened , cast for Donald Trump , and accidentally thrown into a waste paper basket .
So , it did indeed happen !
Trump ballots @ @ @ @ @ @ @ morning .
And Donald Trump mentioned it a hour later at a press conference .
Suspicious ?
No way did Trump announce his ballots were being dumped in a waste paper basket before the dumping actually happened .
But the seven ballots smelled like Ferrari fuel .
Read more by this author : • Buy A Very British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , at Amazon.com

Did Donald Trump tell a lie? Is the Pope Catholic? Is the Queen of England British? Does morning follow sunrise? Or…
Editor’s note: Okay. We get the point. What did he say this time?
Journalists throughout the world, particularly those at Spoof News, have noticed that at his last press conference, Donald Trump dismissed mail-in voting, using an example of several Trump ballots having been thrown away at a Pennsylvania voting precinct.
Investigative journalists questioned the validity of Trump’s accusation. (Lord knows, he’s always shooting off at the mouth.)
Editor’s note: Caution, Spoof News can’t afford to be sued.
Lord knows, Trump has a tendency to exaggerate. So journalists in Pennsylvania went to checked in at the voting precinct. A red Ferrari was seen speeding away just as they drove into the precinct parking lot.
“Wasn’t that Attorney General William Barr just driving off?”
No one at the voting precinct would reply. But someone held up seven ballot envelops, five of which were already opened, cast for Donald Trump, and accidentally thrown into a waste paper basket.
So, it did indeed happen!
Trump ballots were thrown away. Discovered that very morning. And Donald Trump mentioned it a hour later at a press conference. Suspicious?
Editor’s note: Watch it.
No way did Trump announce his ballots were being dumped in a waste paper basket before the dumping actually happened.
But the seven ballots smelled like Ferrari fuel.
Read more by this author:


thespoof--2020-09-28--Amy Barrett: Previously Unknown Sexual Impropriety Comes to Light

Most observers expect that the confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Amy Barrett will be at least as nasty and partisan as those for Brett Kavanaugh .
Democrats are busy scouring the woodwork for any skeletons that may be in Amy Barrett ’ s closet , and they have already found at least one .
Way back in second grade , classmate Mai Johnson had a deal with Barrett to “ show her his if she would show him hers.
” The poor boy upheld his end of the bargain and showed Barrett his member , but was devastated when @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to uphold her end of the bargain .
Since that time , Mai has been charged with exposing his Johnson on more than a dozen occasions and is now an unemployable , registered sex offender .
He believes that Ms. Barrett has literally wrecked his life and is unfit to serve on the Supreme Court .
Senate Judiciary Committee member and Vice Presidential nominee Kamala Harris agrees , and says that the incident is an indelible mark on Ms. Barrett ’ s character : “ We simply can not have someone on the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Meanwhile , Judiciary Committee Chair Lindsey Graham characterized the whole thing as one of the most ridiculous things he has ever heard , adding that he didn ’ t even believe the accusation .
Dianne Feinstein , the ranking minority member of the committee , then commented : “ You [ Graham ] are a partisan hack and a hypocritical piece of _____ .
There are only two times in your miserable life when you haven ’ t believed the man—when Joe Biden denied sexual assault allegations and when Mr. Johnson presented credible @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ” The next month should be interesting , and we will keep you posted .

Most observers expect that the confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Amy Barrett will be at least as nasty and partisan as those for Brett Kavanaugh. Democrats are busy scouring the woodwork for any skeletons that may be in Amy Barrett’s closet, and they have already found at least one.
Way back in second grade, classmate Mai Johnson had a deal with Barrett to “show her his if she would show him hers.” The poor boy upheld his end of the bargain and showed Barrett his member, but was devastated when Barrett just laughed at him and refused to uphold her end of the bargain.
Since that time, Mai has been charged with exposing his Johnson on more than a dozen occasions and is now an unemployable, registered sex offender. He believes that Ms. Barrett has literally wrecked his life and is unfit to serve on the Supreme Court.
Senate Judiciary Committee member and Vice Presidential nominee Kamala Harris agrees, and says that the incident is an indelible mark on Ms. Barrett’s character:
“We simply cannot have someone on the Court who has behaved like that.”
Meanwhile, Judiciary Committee Chair Lindsey Graham characterized the whole thing as one of the most ridiculous things he has ever heard, adding that he didn’t even believe the accusation.
Dianne Feinstein, the ranking minority member of the committee, then commented:
“You [Graham] are a partisan hack and a hypocritical piece of _____. There are only two times in your miserable life when you haven’t believed the man—when Joe Biden denied sexual assault allegations and when Mr. Johnson presented credible allegations on the part of Ms. Barrett.”
The next month should be interesting, and we will keep you posted.


thespoof--2020-09-30--The First Presidential Debate Turned Into an Uncontrolled Dumpster Fire

CLEVELAND – ( Satire News ) – The first of , hopefully , only one presidential debate finally took place , and as Jefferson Sierra with National Focus Magazine said , it was one uncontrolled dumpster fire .
Moderator Chris Wallace should have had both participants wired , so that when they failed to obey his command to stop yelling , he could have zapped them with 50 volts .
As expected , Trump conducted himself like the schoolyard bully that he loves portraying .
Joe Biden showed some tremendous restraint as POTUS constantly talked over him , and twice @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Afterwards , Trump told the news reporters that he did not mean to refer to them as fake news , but quickly added , that if the truth hurts , that ’ s too damn bad .
Trump noted that he did make points with American males by saying that he and only he is responsible for baseball , basketball , football , and fencing going on as normal .
The President , who is now the official spokesman for Goya Beans , was told , just minutes before the start of the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ his red Goya Beans Are Yummy cap .
After the debate , Chris Wallace was reportedly treated for extreme exhaustion , fatigue , dehydration , dizziness , and diarrhea .

CLEVELAND – (Satire News) – The first of, hopefully, only one presidential debate finally took place, and as Jefferson Sierra with National Focus Magazine said, it was one uncontrolled dumpster fire.
Moderator Chris Wallace should have had both participants wired, so that when they failed to obey his command to stop yelling, he could have zapped them with 50 volts.
As expected, Trump conducted himself like the schoolyard bully that he loves portraying.
Comedian Zydeco Dupree quickly gave him a new nickname: “The Interrupter-in-Chief”.
Joe Biden showed some tremendous restraint as POTUS constantly talked over him, and twice came close to actually biting him.
Afterwards, Trump told the news reporters that he did not mean to refer to them as fake news, but quickly added, that if the truth hurts, that’s too damn bad.
Trump noted that he did make points with American males by saying that he and only he is responsible for baseball, basketball, football, and fencing going on as normal.
The President, who is now the official spokesman for Goya Beans, was told, just minutes before the start of the debate, that he could not wear his red Goya Beans Are Yummy cap.
After the debate, Chris Wallace was reportedly treated for extreme exhaustion, fatigue, dehydration, dizziness, and diarrhea.


thespoof--2020-09-30--President Trump Tells The Presidential Debate Audience That He Is Not Going To Denounce White Extrem

President Trump Tells The Presidential Debate Audience That He Is Not Going To Denounce White Extremist Groups

CLEVELAND – ( Satire News ) – President Trump showed the entire world that he has the manners of a boa constrictor , as he threw Fox News moderator Chris Wallace ’ s debate rules out of the window .
Trump carried on as if he was a World War II Nazi general , totally ignoring Wallace ’ s pleas to stop interrupting Joe Biden .
The President also refused Wallace ’ s request that he put down his Big Mac burger and stop combing his hair while Biden was responding to the questions .
Several audience members reported seeing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ embarrassment .
Trump ’ s daughter , Ivanka , was heard to softly mumble , “ Go , Daddy , go , Daddy , you da man , Daddy.
” POTUS shocked just about everyone ; except for his base , when he told Wallace that he was not going to denounce any white extremist organizations , such as the KKK , the Nazi Alliance of AmeriKKKa , the Hells Angels , or the Proud Boys .
The New York Times is reporting that the four named white extremist groups have so far @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to Trump ’ s re-election campaign .

CLEVELAND – (Satire News) – President Trump showed the entire world that he has the manners of a boa constrictor, as he threw Fox News moderator Chris Wallace’s debate rules out of the window.
Trump carried on as if he was a World War II Nazi general, totally ignoring Wallace’s pleas to stop interrupting Joe Biden.
The President also refused Wallace’s request that he put down his Big Mac burger and stop combing his hair while Biden was responding to the questions.
Several audience members reported seeing Melania Trump’s face red with embarrassment.
Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, was heard to softly mumble, “Go, Daddy, go, Daddy, you da man, Daddy.”
POTUS shocked just about everyone; except for his base, when he told Wallace that he was not going to denounce any white extremist organizations, such as the KKK, the Nazi Alliance of AmeriKKKa, the Hells Angels, or the Proud Boys.
The New York Times is reporting that the four named white extremist groups have so far donated a combined total of $9,113 to Trump’s re-election campaign.


thespoof--2020-09-29--Man Believes Life Is Better With More Exclamation Marks!

A man has taken a cue from an episode of 'Seinfeld ' , and decided that every word out of his mouth , and everyone else 's , should end in an exclamation mark !
`` It 's just more fun and exciting to speak and write this way ! ''
Lars Gumpy proclaimed !
`` Think of it !
You sign your name on a form -- you add an exclamation mark to it !
You sign your cheque and write your bank account number on it -- you end both with an exclamation mark !
Lars Gumpy , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ taxes , after every line you fill in , add an exclamation mark after every deduction and calculation !
You 'll make the tax man 's day , and you why not brag when you end it with 'tax refund ; $ 103 ! '
'' The episode in question saw the character of Elaine purposefully adding an inordinate number of exclamation marks to a manuscript she was editing for fictional Pendant Publishing !
The fact that Elaine 's boss told her to knock it off seems lost on Gumpy !
`` The @ @ @ @ @ @ @ my exclamation marks !
It 's like finding a friend that was always there , but I never knew existed !
My whole life has changed !
Tell me you 're not in a better mood now , than when you started this interview and I 'll eat my tie ! ''
Just as Gumpy was about to reveal how his exciting punctuation mark fetish has affected his work life , he accidentally stubbed his toe on his kitchen table !
The resulting flow of colorful words and descriptions can not be revealed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ several exclamation marks , somewhere along the line of !
!
* # @ !
!
?
* & # @ /X @ !
!
!
!
!

A man has taken a cue from an episode of 'Seinfeld', and decided that every word out of his mouth, and everyone else's, should end in an exclamation mark!
"It's just more fun and exciting to speak and write this way!" Lars Gumpy proclaimed! "Think of it! You sign your name on a form-- you add an exclamation mark to it! You sign your cheque and write your bank account number on it-- you end both with an exclamation mark! Lars Gumpy, account number 9998084! You do your taxes, after every line you fill in, add an exclamation mark after every deduction and calculation! You'll make the tax man's day, and you why not brag when you end it with 'tax refund; $103!'"
The episode in question saw the character of Elaine purposefully adding an inordinate number of exclamation marks to a manuscript she was editing for fictional Pendant Publishing! The fact that Elaine's boss told her to knock it off seems lost on Gumpy!
"The heck with that! I'm keeping my exclamation marks! It's like finding a friend that was always there, but I never knew existed! My whole life has changed! Tell me you're not in a better mood now, than when you started this interview and I'll eat my tie!"
Just as Gumpy was about to reveal how his exciting punctuation mark fetish has affected his work life, he accidentally stubbed his toe on his kitchen table! The resulting flow of colorful words and descriptions cannot be revealed here, but it was punctuated by several exclamation marks, somewhere along the line of !!*#@!!?*@/X@!!!!!


thespoof--2020-10-01--President Donald Trump Says That The Proud Boys Are Just Flag-Waving Good Guys

SASQUATCH , Minnesota – ( Satire News ) – President Trump is claiming that he won the biggest presidential debate @ @ @ @ @ to April 13 , 1787 , when George Washington kicked Ebeneezer Follicle 's keister .
@ @ @ @ @ Jim Acosta that he not only defeated Joe Biden , he also defeated the Fox @ @ @ @ @ .
POTUS commented that Biden and Wallace ganged up on him like a WWE tag @ @ @ @ @ that Wallace is a fake moderator , who had sold Joe Biden the answers to @ @ @ @ @ questions .
The CNN reporter asked Trump why he had not denounced white extremist groups @ @ @ @ @ who are a hate-spewing white racist organization .
Trump said that he did not denounce @ @ @ @ @ they are all just basically flag-waving good guys .
DJT then really shocked the CNN @ @ @ @ @ that he had accepted an invitation to speak at the next national meeting of the @ @ @

SASQUATCH, Minnesota – (Satire News) – President Trump is claiming that he won the biggest presidential debate going all the way back to April 13, 1787, when George Washington kicked Ebeneezer Follicle's keister.
Trump told CNN’s Jim Acosta that he not only defeated Joe Biden, he also defeated the Fox News moderator, Chris Wallace.
POTUS commented that Biden and Wallace ganged up on him like a WWE tag team.
Trump told Acosta that Wallace is a fake moderator, who had sold Joe Biden the answers to all of the 47 debate questions.
The CNN reporter asked Trump why he had not denounced white extremist groups like the Proud Boys, who are a hate-spewing white racist organization.
Trump said that he did not denounce the Proud Boys, because they are all just basically flag-waving good guys.
DJT then really shocked the CNN reporter when he told him that he had accepted an invitation to speak at the next national meeting of the Proud Boys.


thespoof--2020-10-01--The Presidential Debate Commission Has Just Slapped President Trump With a $200,000 Fine

NEW YORK CITY – ( Satire News ) – President Donald Trump has just been informed that he has been hit with a $ 200,000 fine by the Presidential Debate Commission .
According to Ling Chow Rangoon with the iRumors News Agency , the PDC was extremely upset with Trump ’ s childish , immature , spoilt brat behavior .
The commission said that they counted a total of 717 times that Trump interrupted Joe Biden .
Trump had been warned before the debate started not to interrupt , and promised that he wouldn ’ t .
But , as @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of the civilized world knows , Donald John Trump is the biggest lying piece of shit in the history of liars , and that includes Caribbean pirate Lyndon the Liar .
The PDC has informed Trump that he will have to pay the $ 200,000 fine within 72 hours , or else he will be fined an extra $ 10,000 per each day that he does not comply with the commission ’ s ruling .
The President reportedly told his former communications director , Hope Hicks , that a Bronx Zoo zookeeper will @ @ @ @ @ @ @ flamingo to mate with a brick before he pays the money .

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – President Donald Trump has just been informed that he has been hit with a $200,000 fine by the Presidential Debate Commission.
According to Ling Chow Rangoon with the iRumors News Agency, the PDC was extremely upset with Trump’s childish, immature, spoilt brat behavior.
The commission said that they counted a total of 717 times that Trump interrupted Joe Biden.
Trump had been warned before the debate started not to interrupt, and promised that he wouldn’t.
But, as everyone in the nation, and most of the civilized world knows, Donald John Trump is the biggest lying piece of shit in the history of liars, and that includes Caribbean pirate Lyndon the Liar.
The PDC has informed Trump that he will have to pay the $200,000 fine within 72 hours, or else he will be fined an extra $10,000 per each day that he does not comply with the commission’s ruling.
The President reportedly told his former communications director, Hope Hicks, that a Bronx Zoo zookeeper will have a better chance of getting a flamingo to mate with a brick before he pays the money.


thespoof--2020-10-01--October Surprise: Trump Is The Outpatient

Judging from his first debate , Donald Trump behaved like an outpatient .
He pretty much flew out of the cuckoo 's nest .
Displaying an absence of self-discipline , Trump took to the stage with a chip on his shoulder , successfully miming Benito Mussolini .
Mr .
Bone Spurs was going to be Mr. Tough Guy .
While he discredited American values and lied in response to every question asked , interrupted his opponent , argued with the moderator , refused to condemn white supremacists , publicly disagreed with his health officials , viewers can be relieved he @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Trump ignored the rules agreed upon for the debate , and sided with white supremacists , giving a swift dismissal of the Holocaust .
There is nothing great about a presidency that allows 200,000 Americans to die on his watch .
In discussing Trump ’ s performance , several people suggested cutting the mike .
They also said that future debates might consider using a switch to turn off Trump ’ s interference .
Instead , why not just switch the candidate .
Republicans must have someone else .
And why are @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a switch-off should not be necessary to control a presidential candidate of the United States .
The president who requires a switch-off because he lacks self-discipline should not have his finger on the switch that controls the nuclear arsenal .
Read more by this author : • Buy A Very British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , at Amazon.com

Judging from his first debate, Donald Trump behaved like an outpatient. He pretty much flew out of the cuckoo's nest. Displaying an absence of self-discipline, Trump took to the stage with a chip on his shoulder, successfully miming Benito Mussolini.
Mr. Bone Spurs was going to be Mr. Tough Guy.
While he discredited American values and lied in response to every question asked, interrupted his opponent, argued with the moderator, refused to condemn white supremacists, publicly disagreed with his health officials, viewers can be relieved he didn't also defecate on the stage.
Trump ignored the rules agreed upon for the debate, and sided with white supremacists, giving a swift dismissal of the Holocaust.
There is nothing great about a presidency that allows 200,000 Americans to die on his watch.
In discussing Trump’s performance, several people suggested cutting the mike. They also said that future debates might consider using a switch to turn off Trump’s interference.
Instead, why not just switch the candidate. Republicans must have someone else. And why are Evangelicals supporting the pussy-grabber?
Furthermore, a switch-off should not be necessary to control a presidential candidate of the United States.
The president who requires a switch-off because he lacks self-discipline should not have his finger on the switch that controls the nuclear arsenal.
Read more by this author:


America weeps

Okay , so the whole world has been laughing at the States for 4 years .
We all know that .
It 's looked on with disbelief , and often fear , while a narcissistic con artist has continuously insulted and fibbed to journalists , organizations and the planet at large from the gardens of the White House .
But the so-called TV debate on Tuesday night was truly the pits .
Statler and Waldorf are to vacate their Muppets theater box on Broadway for the next debate of the two , in the hope that at least a few @ @ @ @ @ @ @ come second nature to many politicians , but when they 're twinned with churlish almost insolent behavior , the curtains must come down .
As one Democrat commented , `` Biden should 've just walked off , 'cos Trump would still have gone on with his baloney . ''
After over 200,000 Covid-19 deaths in the USA , the President boasted about a 'great job ' having been done .
Is that satire ?
Was he quoting from his next Spoof article ?
Let 's pray the next debate , to be hosted @ @ @ @ @ @ @ comments on strategies and ideas .
A few preparatory sessions with Fozzie Bear and Animal might do the trick .
Meanwhile , America weeps .
Things have got ta change , man .
Get this feeble-minded bully out !

Okay, so the whole world has been laughing at the States for 4 years. We all know that. It's looked on with disbelief, and often fear, while a narcissistic con artist has continuously insulted and fibbed to journalists, organizations and the planet at large from the gardens of the White House. But the so-called TV debate on Tuesday night was truly the pits. Statler and Waldorf are to vacate their Muppets theater box on Broadway for the next debate of the two, in the hope that at least a few smiles might be generated.
Asinine comments come second nature to many politicians, but when they're twinned with churlish almost insolent behavior, the curtains must come down. As one Democrat commented, "Biden should've just walked off, 'cos Trump would still have gone on with his baloney."
After over 200,000 Covid-19 deaths in the USA, the President boasted about a 'great job' having been done. Is that satire? Was he quoting from his next Spoof article?
Let's pray the next debate, to be hosted by Miss Piggy, will provide some comments on strategies and ideas. A few preparatory sessions with Fozzie Bear and Animal might do the trick.
Meanwhile, America weeps. Things have gotta change, man. Get this feeble-minded bully out!


thespoof--2020-10-02--President Trump Says He Will Announce The Results of His Coronavirus Test After He Releases His Tax

President Trump Says He Will Announce The Results of His Coronavirus Test After He Releases His Tax Returns

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – The Baltimore Implier Journal is reporting that President Trump is now in quarantine because of the Coronavirus .
Trump told the news media that he has just been tested , and he will release the results of the Covid-19 test after he releases his Income tax returns ; which , after almost four years , are still being audited .
The President ’ s top adviser and alleged inamorata , Hope “ The Babe ” Hicks , has also tested positive for the Trumpapalooza virus , as millions of Americans refer @ @ @ @ @ @ @ House staff members have said that it is no secret that Donald and Hope , at times , have been closer than spaghetti and meat balls .
The first lady has even told her step-daughter , Ivanka , that , one day , her daddy is going to hand over HALF of all his money to her , and then she , Barron , and Barron 's pet woodchuck , will catch the next plane to Slovenia .
GOPicky Magazine is now revealing that Vice-President Pence is saying that he is having cramps @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in his ear lobes , and his male member .
Meanwhile Las Vegas is starting to take bets on third-in-line Nancy Pelosi becoming President Pelosi before too long .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Baltimore Implier Journal is reporting that President Trump is now in quarantine because of the Coronavirus.
Trump told the news media that he has just been tested, and he will release the results of the Covid-19 test after he releases his Income tax returns; which, after almost four years, are still being audited.
The President’s top adviser and alleged inamorata, Hope “The Babe” Hicks, has also tested positive for the Trumpapalooza virus, as millions of Americans refer to it.
Dozens of former White House staff members have said that it is no secret that Donald and Hope, at times, have been closer than spaghetti and meat balls.
The first lady has even told her step-daughter, Ivanka, that, one day, her daddy is going to hand over HALF of all his money to her, and then she, Barron, and Barron's pet woodchuck, will catch the next plane to Slovenia.
GOPicky Magazine is now revealing that Vice-President Pence is saying that he is having cramps in his tongue, as well as in his ear lobes, and his male member.
Meanwhile Las Vegas is starting to take bets on third-in-line Nancy Pelosi becoming President Pelosi before too long.


thespoof--2020-10-02--President Donald Trump’s Closest Adviser Hope Hicks Is Taking a Break

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) - A White House staff member , who spoke to iRumors , on condition of anonymity , said that Trump ’ s closest adviser , Hope Hicks , has tested positive for the Trumpapalooza virus .
The staff member said that , lately , the President and the stunningly-attractive Hope have been having lots of secret meetings in the Oval Office .
Trump has said that he and the 31-year-old Hicks talk about global warming , food stamps , hurricanes , sex , and how much of a raise he is going @ @ @ @ @ @ @ even noted that , when Hicks is inside the Oval Office with the President , there are strict instructions that no-one is to bother him , and that includes Ivanka , Scott Baio , little son Barron , and Melania .
Trump ’ s former attorney/fixer , Michael Cohen , told CNN ’ s Don Lemon that Trump always used to tell him that Hope had the sexiest ass he had ever seen .
Cohen says that he is not a betting man , but he would be willing to bet that once @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Baby Fingers ” is going to jump on Hicks like a chimp jumping on a banana .
Meanwhile , the non-mask-wearing Thump is reportedly worried as hell that he may now have the Trumpapalooza virus himself .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - A White House staff member, who spoke to iRumors, on condition of anonymity, said that Trump’s closest adviser, Hope Hicks, has tested positive for the Trumpapalooza virus.
The staff member said that, lately, the President and the stunningly-attractive Hope have been having lots of secret meetings in the Oval Office.
Trump has said that he and the 31-year-old Hicks talk about global warming, food stamps, hurricanes, sex, and how much of a raise he is going to give her.
One staff member even noted that, when Hicks is inside the Oval Office with the President, there are strict instructions that no-one is to bother him, and that includes Ivanka, Scott Baio, little son Barron, and Melania.
Trump’s former attorney/fixer, Michael Cohen, told CNN’s Don Lemon that Trump always used to tell him that Hope had the sexiest ass he had ever seen.
Cohen says that he is not a betting man, but he would be willing to bet that once Melania divorces Donald J, old “Baby Fingers” is going to jump on Hicks like a chimp jumping on a banana.
Meanwhile, the non-mask-wearing Thump is reportedly worried as hell that he may now have the Trumpapalooza virus himself.


thespoof--2020-10-02--Proud Boys group admit "we're not men"

Proud Boys group admit "we're not men"

In the recent presidential debate , Donald Trump disgracefully failed to condemn violent right-wing extremist group Proud Boys , and , in fact , seemed to encourage them .
The Spoof tracked down their leader , Cornwallis Glasscock , 29 , of Maryland , to find out what motivated him .
`` We 're really proud , '' said Glasscock , `` and we are boys .
You can get away with more when you 're a boy . ''
The Proud Boys have threatened and committed acts of violence against people of color , women , liberals , gays @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , and hate anyone who is not a member of their group .
They follow an unusually strict set of rules , including banning masturbation and treating women as second class citizens .
It is no wonder they have earned the title “ white ISIS ” .
When asked what he was proud of , Glasscock explained .
`` It 's my pale white skin , '' he said .
`` I burn very easily .
Whenever I leave my mother 's basement , I 'm supposed to carry a parasol to block @ @ @ @ @ @ @ kind of embarrassing , so I usually stay inside .
But my skin color is my greatest achievement in life . ''
Glasscock 's mother was eager to defend her son , despite him being on an FBI watchlist .
`` He 's just lonely , ” she said .
“ He never had much interest in girls .
He used to like hamsters , so when he grew out of that , we hoped he would start to like girls , but it has n't happened yet . ''
She added , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ his medical problems , it ca n't be easy for him .
We always tell him we 're proud of him and his diabetes , and even though he ’ ll never grow up into a full size man , he should be proud of himself anyway .
”

In the recent presidential debate, Donald Trump disgracefully failed to condemn violent right-wing extremist group Proud Boys, and, in fact, seemed to encourage them.
The Spoof tracked down their leader, Cornwallis Glasscock, 29, of Maryland, to find out what motivated him.
"We're really proud," said Glasscock, "and we are boys. You can get away with more when you're a boy."
The Proud Boys have threatened and committed acts of violence against people of color, women, liberals, gays, Jews, various politicians and journalists, and hate anyone who is not a member of their group.
They follow an unusually strict set of rules, including banning masturbation and treating women as second class citizens. It is no wonder they have earned the title “white ISIS”.
When asked what he was proud of, Glasscock explained. "It's my pale white skin," he said. "I burn very easily. Whenever I leave my mother's basement, I'm supposed to carry a parasol to block the sun's rays. It's kind of embarrassing, so I usually stay inside. But my skin color is my greatest achievement in life."
Glasscock's mother was eager to defend her son, despite him being on an FBI watchlist. "He's just lonely,” she said. “He never had much interest in girls. He used to like hamsters, so when he grew out of that, we hoped he would start to like girls, but it hasn't happened yet."
She added, "I guess it's because of his medical problems, it can't be easy for him. We always tell him we're proud of him and his diabetes, and even though he’ll never grow up into a full size man, he should be proud of himself anyway.”


thespoof--2020-10-02--Donald Trump Jr. Has Been Told By His Daddy To Break Up with Girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle or He’s O

Donald Trump Jr. Has Been Told By His Daddy To Break Up with Girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle or He’s Out of The Will

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) - LaLaLand Daily is reporting that Kimberly Guilfoyle is in tears after @ @ @ @ @ s daddy has told him to dump her ass .
It appears that the President @ @ @ @ @ better dump that big-haired ex-Fox Newser fast , and he means pronto , as they @ @ @ @ @ Mexico .
Junior reportedly asked `` Why ?
`` , and was told that Kimmy @ @ @ @ @ remarks to one of her assistants when she was employed at Fox News .
Guilfoyle @ @ @ @ @ it , and calls it all a witch hunt .
But , apparently , the @ @ @ @ @ attorney ’ s office with audio recordings , video recordings , and even several charcoal @ @ @ @ @ soon-to-be ex-girlfriend , reportedly told ESPN-4 that she loves the NBA , Hip-Hop music , @ @ @ @ @ Fox News has reportedly agreed to pay the abused party $ 19.2 million to help @ @ @ @ @ may need in the future .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - LaLaLand Daily is reporting that Kimberly Guilfoyle is in tears after learning that her boo’s daddy has told him to dump her ass.
It appears that the President has told Junior that he better dump that big-haired ex-Fox Newser fast, and he means pronto, as they say down in Tijuana, Mexico.
Junior reportedly asked "Why?", and was told that Kimmy allegedly made some very racist remarks to one of her assistants when she was employed at Fox News.
Guilfoyle, of course, denies it, and calls it all a witch hunt. But, apparently, the complaining party provided the district attorney’s office with audio recordings, video recordings, and even several charcoal drawings.
Donald Jr's soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, reportedly told ESPN-4 that she loves the NBA, Hip-Hop music, and braids.
Meanwhile, Fox News has reportedly agreed to pay the abused party $19.2 million to help cover any amnesia treatments she may need in the future.


thespoof--2020-10-03--President Trump Is Cured!

President Trump Is Cured!

In a somewhat astonishing and confusing announcement made just minutes ago , it has been revealed that President Donald Trump , diagnosed with the Coronavirus , COVID-19 , just days ago , is already feeling much better , and is set to be given the 'all-clear ' by doctors .
His life is still in great danger from the virus , however .
Mr. Trump , at the grand old age of 74 , is very much in the wrong age group to be suffering from the virus , and this puts him at great risk , but everyone around @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and dramatic improvement .
White House medical staff say that Mr. Trump is 'cured ' in that , all his prior characteristics seem to have disappeared , vanished , and wiped away , leaving only a relatively normal human being behind .
Gone is the childish tendency to call people nicknames ; the infantile pout ; the extreme views and opinions the President previously held ; his argumentative nature ; his preference for lies rather than the truth ; his bullying nature ; and wacky views about women , and people of color @ @ @ @ @ @ @ listen to others in a respectful manner without interrupting them in a voice that is louder than theirs .
According to one source , the new COVID-19 Trump is almost a pleasure to work with , laid stricken in his sickbed , that is .
Doctors say they are at a loss to explain the changes in Trump , but comment that it 's to be hoped that he retains them , or drops dead .

In a somewhat astonishing and confusing announcement made just minutes ago, it has been revealed that President Donald Trump, diagnosed with the Coronavirus, COVID-19, just days ago, is already feeling much better, and is set to be given the 'all-clear' by doctors.
His life is still in great danger from the virus, however.
Mr. Trump, at the grand old age of 74, is very much in the wrong age group to be suffering from the virus, and this puts him at great risk, but everyone around him claims there has been a drastic and dramatic improvement.
White House medical staff say that Mr. Trump is 'cured' in that, all his prior characteristics seem to have disappeared, vanished, and wiped away, leaving only a relatively normal human being behind.
Gone is the childish tendency to call people nicknames; the infantile pout; the extreme views and opinions the President previously held; his argumentative nature; his preference for lies rather than the truth; his bullying nature; and wacky views about women, and people of color and other ethnicities. He can even listen to others in a respectful manner without interrupting them in a voice that is louder than theirs.
According to one source, the new COVID-19 Trump is almost a pleasure to work with, laid stricken in his sickbed, that is.
Doctors say they are at a loss to explain the changes in Trump, but comment that it's to be hoped that he retains them, or drops dead.


thespoof--2020-10-03--Hand Sanitizer Found To Be Contaminated With COVID-19 Spores

Health officials who carried out a raid on a Chicago factory which produces hand sanitizer for use in the battle against the Coronavirus , have said they found the product was riddled with traces of the Coronavirus .
The search team of CDC experts had been alerted to the situation by eagle-eyed local residents who had noticed large transport vehicles at the factory site coming and going 'at all hours ' of day and night , driven by Chinese drivers who could barely be seen above the steering wheel .
One vehicle was intercepted as it entered Interstate I-294 , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ York area .
When tests revealed the presence of COVID-19 , the truck was impounded , and a large team moved into the premises of Karona Products , whose headquarters are in Wuhan , China .
One official said : '' We ca n't quite figure out why a company making and supplying hand sanitizer on a large scale throughout the US would have so many problems keeping its product free of C-19 , unless , of course , its primary intention was to wipe out every man , woman and child in @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in another part of the world , Chinese officials waited patiently for their plan to come to fruition .

Health officials who carried out a raid on a Chicago factory which produces hand sanitizer for use in the battle against the Coronavirus, have said they found the product was riddled with traces of the Coronavirus.
The search team of CDC experts had been alerted to the situation by eagle-eyed local residents who had noticed large transport vehicles at the factory site coming and going 'at all hours' of day and night, driven by Chinese drivers who could barely be seen above the steering wheel.
One vehicle was intercepted as it entered Interstate I-294, with a delivery destined for the New York area. When tests revealed the presence of COVID-19, the truck was impounded, and a large team moved into the premises of Karona Products, whose headquarters are in Wuhan, China.
One official said:
"We can't quite figure out why a company making and supplying hand sanitizer on a large scale throughout the US would have so many problems keeping its product free of C-19, unless, of course, its primary intention was to wipe out every man, woman and child in the United States."
Meanwhile, in another part of the world, Chinese officials waited patiently for their plan to come to fruition.


thespoof--2020-10-02--Trump Becomes a Liberal as Covid Affects His Brain

The White House , Washington , D. C. A SINful Woof Blister reporting for Spoof International News .
In his @ @ @ @ @ diagnosed with Covid-19 , President Donald J. Trump revealed that the virus has devastated his @ @ @ @ @ minimal intelligence , his ability to think reduced to that of a Liberal Democrat .
@ @ @ @ @ '' he told this Spoof reporter .
`` I tried to work on the new @ @ @ @ @ kept coming up with $ 3 trillion , lots of goodies for the unemployed , @ @ @ @ @ and reduced funds for the police .
I even invited Nancy Pelosi to lunch .
@ @ @ @ @ who see no reason to treat Trump , believe the epiphany is temporary , and @ @ @ @ @ Trump has predicted , the virus fades away .

The White House, Washington, D. C. A SINful Woof Blister reporting for Spoof International News. In his first press interview since being diagnosed with Covid-19, President Donald J. Trump revealed that the virus has devastated his brain, leaving him with minimal intelligence, his ability to think reduced to that of a Liberal Democrat.
"It's frightening," he told this Spoof reporter. "I tried to work on the new stimulus package, and I kept coming up with $3 trillion, lots of goodies for the unemployed, bail-outs for Democratic-run cities, and reduced funds for the police. I even invited Nancy Pelosi to lunch."
White House doctors, who see no reason to treat Trump, believe the epiphany is temporary, and will pass when, as Trump has predicted, the virus fades away.


thespoof--2020-10-02--President Trump Still Lying, Says He Caught The Coronavirus From The Portland Protesters

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – Many news agencies are reporting that President Trump knew he had the Coronavirus three days ago , and hid it from the American people , and the world .
A source inside the White House said that they were all sworn to secrecy , and told that if anyone leaked the info , they would be arrested and exiled to Guatemala .
Trump is so afraid of going to prison for his income tax shenanigans , that he put all of his Republican staff , and their families , in jeopardy @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
iRumors is reporting that Chinese leader Xi Jingping said that he warned Trump to stop calling it the Chinese virus and the Hong Kong Flu .
He later texted the `` Divider-in-Chief , a four-word message – Karma is a bitch .
POTUS made fun of Joe Biden for wearing a mask .
He even had some of his own supporters thrown out of is campaign hate rallies , for wearing masks , and he slapped his least favorite child , Eric , when he caught him wearing a mask while playing @ @ @ @ @ @ @ But the ever-defiant “ Pied Piper of the Potomac ” has really taken the cake , the pie , and the Big Macs , by telling his boyfriend , Sean Hannity , that he caught the Cornonapalooza virus from the Portland protesters .
Even Kellyanne Conway had the balls to finally tell her ex-boss that he knew it was a lie , and he really should try and find a way to somehow , maybe through extensive therapy , start trying to tell the effen truth .
The Chicago Wind newspaper wrote that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Many news agencies are reporting that President Trump knew he had the Coronavirus three days ago, and hid it from the American people, and the world.
A source inside the White House said that they were all sworn to secrecy, and told that if anyone leaked the info, they would be arrested and exiled to Guatemala.
Trump is so afraid of going to prison for his income tax shenanigans, that he put all of his Republican staff, and their families, in jeopardy of being exposed to his Trumpapalooza virus.
iRumors is reporting that Chinese leader Xi Jingping said that he warned Trump to stop calling it the Chinese virus and the Hong Kong Flu. He later texted the "Divider-in-Chief, a four-word message – Karma is a bitch.
POTUS made fun of Joe Biden for wearing a mask. He even had some of his own supporters thrown out of is campaign hate rallies, for wearing masks, and he slapped his least favorite child, Eric, when he caught him wearing a mask while playing a game of checkers with himself.
But the ever-defiant “Pied Piper of the Potomac” has really taken the cake, the pie, and the Big Macs, by telling his boyfriend, Sean Hannity, that he caught the Cornonapalooza virus from the Portland protesters.
Even Kellyanne Conway had the balls to finally tell her ex-boss that he knew it was a lie, and he really should try and find a way to somehow, maybe through extensive therapy, start trying to tell the effen truth.
The Chicago Wind newspaper wrote that Trump lies like LeBron James makes baskets.


thespoof--2020-10-03--President Trump Coronavirus Misdiagnosed

In the aftermath of the news that the most powerful man in the world , President Donald Trump , has tested positive for the deadly Coronavirus , COVID-19 , words are coming from the man , himself , that it is yet another case of fake news , and that he 's never felt better in his life .
Mr. Trump , 74 , tweeted that he has nothing worse than .
The President has consistently spoken out about the virus , saying that its seriousness has been exaggerated , and he has frequently appeared in public not wearing a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ warned against .
On Thursday , however , testing officials said the tests conducted on Trump came back positive , and he was advised to self-isolate .
Trump being Trump , he demanded a second opinion , and called in a captured ex-Viet Cong medic by the name of Doctor Kwak , for a 'more thorough ' diagnosis .
Kwak said that Trump 's illness was nothing more serious than a common cold , or , at worst , a mild case of flu .
He said that a face mask was of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ losers , and might even irritate the nose .
A double dose of Hydroxychloroquine was prescribed , before breakfast and again at bedtime , to be preceded by two minutes gargling .
`` I am in grate hands .
Doctor Quack is the most compatent doc I ever met .
I 'll be back on the job in no time ! ''

In the aftermath of the news that the most powerful man in the world, President Donald Trump, has tested positive for the deadly Coronavirus, COVID-19, words are coming from the man, himself, that it is yet another case of fake news, and that he's never felt better in his life.
Mr. Trump, 74, tweeted that he has nothing worse than a cold .
The President has consistently spoken out about the virus, saying that its seriousness has been exaggerated, and he has frequently appeared in public not wearing a face mask, something senior medical officials warned against.
On Thursday, however, testing officials said the tests conducted on Trump came back positive, and he was advised to self-isolate.
Trump being Trump, he demanded a second opinion, and called in a captured ex-Viet Cong medic by the name of Doctor Kwak, for a 'more thorough' diagnosis.
Kwak said that Trump's illness was nothing more serious than a common cold, or, at worst, a mild case of flu. He said that a face mask was of no use, that they are for losers, and might even irritate the nose. A double dose of Hydroxychloroquine was prescribed, before breakfast and again at bedtime, to be preceded by two minutes gargling.
Trump tweeted:
"I am in grate hands. Doctor Quack is the most compatent doc I ever met. I'll be back on the job in no time!"
Doctor Kwak is not a real doctor.


thespoof--2020-10-03--Trump Was Intentionally Infected with the Virus

President Donald Trump ’ s enemies are certainly gloating with news of his recent diagnosis .
In their view , he is getting what he deserves for his personal carelessness and mismanagement of the pandemic .
There is , however , good reason to believe that the president may have been intentionally exposed to the Covid virus .
We like conspiracy theories ; the problem with Trump ’ s recent diagnosis is that there are so many to choose from .
For example , maybe the Biden campaign figured out how to infect Trump ; or maybe it was the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ president Pence who has not yet tested positive ; or maybe it was orchestrated by someone who did it out of love of country ; or maybe it was done by someone who did it out of hatred for America .
Maybe all this is even an election ploy by Trump to not only get sympathy but to also show how fit he is and how effective hydroxychloroquine is in treating the virus Maybe , however , this has nothing to do with power and politics .
Months ago , we were the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ intentionally exposing themselves to the virus with the intention of giving it to their older husbands .
This was , at least at that time , a safe way to get rid of an older husband since the wife will not be charged with a crime in such cases unless she is dumb enough to discuss her intentions on Facebook .
Granted , there is some risk to the wife , but younger people and women generally do much better with COVID .
Many times , they don ’ t even have any @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to conclude that Melania has simply had enough of Donald Trump .
We are not going to dwell on them here , and I will conclude by pointing out that there is precedent for a longsuffering first lady looking for a way to get rid of her husband .
A century ago , President Warren Harding was killed by his wife Florence .
This , of course , is not the official version , but it is well documented in The Strange Death of President Harding .

President Donald Trump’s enemies are certainly gloating with news of his recent diagnosis. In their view, he is getting what he deserves for his personal carelessness and mismanagement of the pandemic. There is, however, good reason to believe that the president may have been intentionally exposed to the Covid virus.
We like conspiracy theories; the problem with Trump’s recent diagnosis is that there are so many to choose from. For example, maybe the Biden campaign figured out how to infect Trump; or maybe it was the Chinese; or maybe it was vice president Pence who has not yet tested positive; or maybe it was orchestrated by someone who did it out of love of country; or maybe it was done by someone who did it out of hatred for America. Maybe all this is even an election ploy by Trump to not only get sympathy but to also show how fit he is and how effective hydroxychloroquine is in treating the virus
Maybe, however, this has nothing to do with power and politics. Months ago, we were the first to observe that trophy wives were intentionally exposing themselves to the virus with the intention of giving it to their older husbands. This was, at least at that time, a safe way to get rid of an older husband since the wife will not be charged with a crime in such cases unless she is dumb enough to discuss her intentions on Facebook. Granted, there is some risk to the wife, but younger people and women generally do much better with COVID. Many times, they don’t even have any obvious symptoms.
There are obvious reasons to conclude that Melania has simply had enough of Donald Trump. We are not going to dwell on them here, and I will conclude by pointing out that there is precedent for a longsuffering first lady looking for a way to get rid of her husband. A century ago, President Warren Harding was killed by his wife Florence. This, of course, is not the official version, but it is well documented in The Strange Death of President Harding.