thespoof--2020-10-08--The Washington D.C. Health Code Inspector Says The Coronavirus-Infested White House is Going to Have

The Washington D.C. Health Code Inspector Says The Coronavirus-Infested White House is Going to Have to be Demolished

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – The Washington Globe-Express is reporting that the Washington , D.C. health code inspector has just inspected the White House from top to bottom .
Hoyt Tullyweiser , told the Globe-Express that he found traces of COVID-19 in every room of the White House , including all 17 bathrooms .
He noted that there are enough COVID-19 germs in the White House to destroy the entire populations of Hocus Pocus and Duck Dung , Alabama ( combined population 17,301 ) .
When asked what needed to be done , Tullyweiser shook his @ @ @ @ @ @ @ House should really and truly be burned to the ground .
But , he said , the germs would then get up in the air , and possibly end up in Baltimore .
Tullyweiser remarked that the White House will have to be completely sprayed with a mixture of Lysol , Clorox , industrial kerosene , gasoline , and hydrochloric acid , and then bulldozed all-to-hell .
When Trump was told about the need to demolish the White House , he called Tullyweiser an anti-Trump liar , a hoaxer , and a witch @ @

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Washington Globe-Express is reporting that the Washington, D.C. health code inspector has just inspected the White House from top to bottom.
Hoyt Tullyweiser, told the Globe-Express that he found traces of COVID-19 in every room of the White House, including all 17 bathrooms.
He noted that there are enough COVID-19 germs in the White House to destroy the entire populations of Hocus Pocus and Duck Dung, Alabama (combined population 17,301).
When asked what needed to be done, Tullyweiser shook his head and said that the entire White House should really and truly be burned to the ground. But, he said, the germs would then get up in the air, and possibly end up in Baltimore.
Tullyweiser remarked that the White House will have to be completely sprayed with a mixture of Lysol, Clorox, industrial kerosene, gasoline, and hydrochloric acid, and then bulldozed all-to-hell.
When Trump was told about the need to demolish the White House, he called Tullyweiser an anti-Trump liar, a hoaxer, and a witch hunter.


thespoof--2020-10-08--Mitch McConnell Finally Admits What Everyone Already Knew

SKUNK SPRAY , Kentucky - ( Satire News ) – TMZ recently spoke with Senator Addison Michelle McConnell , and the senator revealed what 97 % of all Americans already knew .
McConnell , who is 78 , but looks 98 , finally admitted that yes , he is indeed “ Trump ’ s Bitch ” .
He said that , in the world of politics , one has to do what one has to do , in order to stay in office ; including kissing asses left and right .
“ Moscow Mitch ” added that he lost all @ @ @ @ @ @ @ he used to say that the Kentucky chapters of the KKK , were all just simply good old boys .
The ugly old geezer , who makes buzzard vomit look cute , said that the KKKers are just fellas who love to drink , cuss , shoot the shit , and burn crosses to get rid of the boll weevil infestation .
When McConnell was asked how in the world he can look himself in the mirror , he giggled like a California valley girl , and replied , “ It ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ look at myself in the mirror .
”

SKUNK SPRAY, Kentucky - (Satire News) – TMZ recently spoke with Senator Addison Michelle McConnell, and the senator revealed what 97% of all Americans already knew.
McConnell, who is 78, but looks 98, finally admitted that yes, he is indeed “Trump’s Bitch”.
He said that, in the world of politics, one has to do what one has to do, in order to stay in office; including kissing asses left and right.
“Moscow Mitch” added that he lost all sense of self-respect years ago, when he used to say that the Kentucky chapters of the KKK, were all just simply good old boys.
The ugly old geezer, who makes buzzard vomit look cute, said that the KKKers are just fellas who love to drink, cuss, shoot the shit, and burn crosses to get rid of the boll weevil infestation.
When McConnell was asked how in the world he can look himself in the mirror, he giggled like a California valley girl, and replied, “It’s easy. I don’t ever look at myself in the mirror.”


thespoof--2020-10-08--The Vice-Presidential Debate Was Boring, The Moderator Sucked, and A Big Fly Peed on Mike Pence’s He

The Vice-Presidential Debate Was Boring, The Moderator Sucked, and A Big Fly Peed on Mike Pence’s Head

SALT LAKE CITY , Utah – ( Satire News ) – The Vox Populi News Agency stated that the television vice-presidential debate clearly showed that Vice-President Pence is just as much a jerk as “ Baby Fingers ” Trump when it comes to not following the established debate rules .
VPNA ’ s Ichabod Fernandez pointed out that the human mannequin repeatedly ignored Elizabeth Warren look-a-like moderator Susan Page , by going over his allotted two minutes each and every time .
Page , who showed she has the backbone of a jellyfish , told him his time was up @ @ @ @ @ @ @ telling a child to put the candy bar down .
Pence , who can literally make an oil slick look cute , kept on going and going , due to the fact that he suffers from the same ailment as his daddy , King Donald the First , and that ’ s the “ I ’ m a white guy and I can pretty much do whatever the eff I want , since I am entitled , and that is just the way the constitution reads.
” Kamala Harris did get in several @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that Pence is about as exciting as curdled milk .
But the highlight of the evening was when a Rocky Mountain Barbarian Fly peed on Pence ’ s cheap $ 43 toupee .
The fly was there so long , that it actually started making a nest .
It was all Kamala could do to keep from bursting out laughing .
Many viewers , including lots of disgruntled Republicans , were hoping that the moderator would have called a time out , and swatted the fly , as it squatted on the vice-president @ @ @ @ @ @ @ we learned that Pence , like Trump , when asked a simple question , will go out of his way to pivot , deflect , sidestep , dodge , divert and just not answer the damn question .
If he had been asked what 2 plus 2 was , he would most likely have said , let me just say that the great Salt Lake is really quite salty .

SALT LAKE CITY, Utah – (Satire News) – The Vox Populi News Agency stated that the television vice-presidential debate clearly showed that Vice-President Pence is just as much a jerk as “Baby Fingers” Trump when it comes to not following the established debate rules.
VPNA’s Ichabod Fernandez pointed out that the human mannequin repeatedly ignored Elizabeth Warren look-a-like moderator Susan Page, by going over his allotted two minutes each and every time.
Page, who showed she has the backbone of a jellyfish, told him his time was up each time, but it was like telling a child to put the candy bar down.
Pence, who can literally make an oil slick look cute, kept on going and going, due to the fact that he suffers from the same ailment as his daddy, King Donald the First, and that’s the “I’m a white guy and I can pretty much do whatever the eff I want, since I am entitled, and that is just the way the constitution reads.”
Kamala Harris did get in several good punches, like when she said that Pence is about as exciting as curdled milk.
But the highlight of the evening was when a Rocky Mountain Barbarian Fly peed on Pence’s cheap $43 toupee.
The fly was there so long, that it actually started making a nest. It was all Kamala could do to keep from bursting out laughing.
Many viewers, including lots of disgruntled Republicans, were hoping that the moderator would have called a time out, and swatted the fly, as it squatted on the vice-president's fake hair.
So overall, we learned that Pence, like Trump, when asked a simple question, will go out of his way to pivot, deflect, sidestep, dodge, divert and just not answer the damn question.
If he had been asked what 2 plus 2 was, he would most likely have said, let me just say that the great Salt Lake is really quite salty.


thespoof--2020-10-09--Dolly Parton In Late Bid To Become US President

In news that is almost impossible for anyone to take seriously , the Country & Western music star Dolly Parton , who had a string of hits , has announced her intention to run for the presidency of the United States .
Parton , who has no political experience in any way , shape or form , and has n't the slightest idea of what she is talking about , sang her way to stardom with 'Jolene ' back in 1974 .
She also starred in the Hollywood movies ' 9 to 5 ' and 'The Best Little Whorehouse In @ @ @ @ @ @ @ apolitical , hates politics with a vengeance , and would abolish them if she were elected .
Indeed , if she to become president , she would not only be the first woman president of the United States , but would automatically become the very first US president with huge tits .
The Tennessee Temptress , as she was never known by anybody , asked voters to pray for Donald Trump , but to vote for him .
`` Pray for him .
Do n't vote for him .
Vote for me !
@

In news that is almost impossible for anyone to take seriously, the Country & Western music star Dolly Parton, who had a string of hits, has announced her intention to run for the presidency of the United States.
Parton, who has no political experience in any way, shape or form, and hasn't the slightest idea of what she is talking about, sang her way to stardom with 'Jolene' back in 1974.
She also starred in the Hollywood movies '9 to 5' and 'The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas'.
Parton says she is apolitical, hates politics with a vengeance, and would abolish them if she were elected.
Indeed, if she were to become president, she would not only be the first woman president of the United States, but would automatically become the very first US president with huge tits.
The Tennessee Temptress, as she was never known by anybody, asked voters to pray for Donald Trump, but not to vote for him.
She said:
"Pray for him. Don't vote for him. Vote for me!"


thespoof--2020-10-09--Another Impropriety for Supreme Court Nominee Amy Barrett: Racial Discrimination

Amy Barrett likes to show off her two adopted Haitian children .
They make her look like a good , caring individual .
Obviously , critics of Barrett want to make sure that the adoptions were above board , but the potential criticisms of her go much further .
A number of observers suggest that transracial adoptions are “ fraught with trauma and potential for harm.
” According to this perspective , Barrett ’ s adopted children are victims of their parents ’ implicit biases , and would have been much better off had they remained in Haiti .
Interestingly @ @ @ @ @ @ @ position that Barrett is traumatizing her adopted children .
Supposedly , the errands that these children are given are demeaning when compared to the errands that her biological children are given , and this reflects Barrett ’ s prejudice .
This came to the Judiciary committee ’ s attention because several years ago one of the children , while on a South Bend playground , complained to a friend about the unfairness of the errands she had been assigned .
The friend told her mother , who recently recalled the incident and passed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a former near frontrunner for the Democratic presidential nomination , who passed it on to a Judiciary committee staffer who relayed the troubling story to Dianne Feinstein , ranking minority member of the Senate Judiciary committee Feinstein has called for an in depth investigation by leading critical race theory scholars to determine if household chores and other errands in the Barrett household reflect Barrett ’ s racial prejudice .
She has also demanded that there be no vote on the nomination until this study is completed .
We will keep you posted .

Amy Barrett likes to show off her two adopted Haitian children. They make her look like a good, caring individual. Obviously, critics of Barrett want to make sure that the adoptions were above board, but the potential criticisms of her go much further. A number of observers suggest that transracial adoptions are “fraught with trauma and potential for harm.” According to this perspective, Barrett’s adopted children are victims of their parents’ implicit biases, and would have been much better off had they remained in Haiti.
Interestingly, there is now support for the position that Barrett is traumatizing her adopted children. Supposedly, the errands that these children are given are demeaning when compared to the errands that her biological children are given, and this reflects Barrett’s prejudice.
This came to the Judiciary committee’s attention because several years ago one of the children, while on a South Bend playground, complained to a friend about the unfairness of the errands she had been assigned. The friend told her mother, who recently recalled the incident and passed the story on to Mayor Pete, a former near frontrunner for the Democratic presidential nomination, who passed it on to a Judiciary committee staffer who relayed the troubling story to Dianne Feinstein, ranking minority member of the Senate Judiciary committee
Feinstein has called for an in depth investigation by leading critical race theory scholars to determine if household chores and other errands in the Barrett household reflect Barrett’s racial prejudice. She has also demanded that there be no vote on the nomination until this study is completed.
We will keep you posted.


thespoof--2020-10-09--Ivanka Trump Confesses That She Hasn’t Had An Orgasm in 13 Months

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – Ivanka Trump , who is her father ’ s most trusted adviser , has really been quite depressed lately .
And it ’ s not because her father contracted the Coronavirus , since she knew it was going to happen , due to the fact that the stubborn old geezer insisted that he was not going to wear those ugly-looking masks .
A White House insider said that , lately , Ivanka has had a horrendously disgusting yeast infection .
She said that she has given up eating biscuits , muffins @ @ @ @ @ @ @ insider noted that Ivanka has been in a horrible mood due to her lack of satisfaction , in her and husband Jared Kushner ’ s boudoir .
It is no secret that Jared ’ s sexual prowess is , on a scale of 1 to 10 , a minus 2 .
Ivanka confided to her sister , Tiffany , that she has n't had an orgasm in 13 months .
The White House insider said that Ivanka has started fantasizing about a certain NBA player .
The woman who is known as “ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Tiffany , that if she was not married , she would jump on the NBA player like a pussy cat jumping on a cricket .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Ivanka Trump, who is her father’s most trusted adviser, has really been quite depressed lately.
And it’s not because her father contracted the Coronavirus, since she knew it was going to happen, due to the fact that the stubborn old geezer insisted that he was not going to wear those ugly-looking masks.
A White House insider said that, lately, Ivanka has had a horrendously disgusting yeast infection. She said that she has given up eating biscuits, muffins, bagels, and empanadas.
The insider noted that Ivanka has been in a horrible mood due to her lack of satisfaction, in her and husband Jared Kushner’s boudoir.
It is no secret that Jared’s sexual prowess is, on a scale of 1 to 10, a minus 2.
Ivanka confided to her sister, Tiffany, that she hasn't had an orgasm in 13 months.
The White House insider said that Ivanka has started fantasizing about a certain NBA player.
The woman who is known as “The White House Barbie” revealed to Tiffany, that if she was not married, she would jump on the NBA player like a pussy cat jumping on a cricket.


thespoof--2020-10-09--NFL, Big 10 Will Play Games Despite Civil War

Nov. 7 , 2020 .
Atlanta , Georgia .
An S.O.S .
from Woof Blister , reporting for Spoof On Sports .
Despite the undeclared civil war that broke out two days after the disputed presidential election , both the National Football league and the Big Ten college conference issued tweets today that their teams will play as scheduled this weekend .
The stadium at Ann Arbor , where the university of Michigan plays , was destroyed by a right wing militias as they devastated the liberal , pro-Democrat Wolverine campus with rocket and mortar fire , so the game @ @ @ @ @ @ @ State College , PA. No fans will be allowed in the stadium there , both as a precaution against Covid-19 and out of concern that a large crowd might be considered a good target by rebels on either side .
The rivalry between the San Francisco 49ers and the Los Angeles Rams , scheduled to resume on Sunday , has been postponed to an undetermined date following the atomic bombing of both cities by Trump supporters who insist the election of Joe Biden was rigged .
This followed a nerve gas attack by @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Idaho Falls and Oklahoma City .
NFL Commissioner Roger Udell justified continuation of the current schedule saying that : `` We do n't want to increase tension by cancelling our games .
Besides , Americans look to sports for diversion from disconcerting events like a virus or a civil war .
We are only doing our part .
And did n't professional sports continue during WWII ?
If there had been an NFL during the first civil war , we would have brought the country together as Northern teams played those from the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ finals have been postponed once again , as the Lakers have have fled Los Angeles , taking refuge in Mexico City .
In other news , the death toll from Covid-19 has passed 300,000 , while the estimated deaths after two days of civil war are nearing three million .

Nov. 7, 2020. Atlanta, Georgia. An S.O.S. from Woof Blister, reporting for Spoof On Sports. Despite the undeclared civil war that broke out two days after the disputed presidential election, both the National Football league and the Big Ten college conference issued tweets today that their teams will play as scheduled this weekend.
The stadium at Ann Arbor, where the university of Michigan plays, was destroyed by a right wing militias as they devastated the liberal, pro-Democrat Wolverine campus with rocket and mortar fire, so the game with Penn State has been moved to State College, PA. No fans will be allowed in the stadium there, both as a precaution against Covid-19 and out of concern that a large crowd might be considered a good target by rebels on either side.
The rivalry between the San Francisco 49ers and the Los Angeles Rams, scheduled to resume on Sunday, has been postponed to an as-yet undetermined date, following the atomic bombing of both cities by Trump supporters, who insist the election of Joe Biden was rigged. This followed a nerve gas attack by leftists on Trump strongholds in Abilene, Idaho Falls and Oklahoma City.
NFL Commissioner Roger Udell justified continuation of the current schedule, saying that: "We don't want to increase tension by cancelling our games. Besides, Americans look to sports for diversion from disconcerting events like a virus or a civil war. We are only doing our part. And didn't professional sports continue during WWII? If there had been an NFL during the first civil war, we would have brought the country together as Northern teams played those from the South."
Meanwhile, the NBA finals have been postponed once again, as the Lakers have have fled Los Angeles, taking refuge in Mexico City.
In other news, the death toll from Covid-19 has passed 300,000, while the estimated deaths after two days of civil war are nearing three million.


thespoof--2020-10-09--The Astronomical Cost of President Trump’s 3-Day Stay at Walter Reed Hospital is Finally Revealed

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – President Trump was asked by a reporter with the iNews Agency @ @ @ @ @ Walter Reed Hospital stay cost the American taxpayers .
He replied that he did not @ @ @ @ @ it cost , because he has the greatest health care in the history of health @ @ @ @ @ wants to cut the health care of 19 million elderly citizens , 27 million poor @ @ @ @ @ living in California , simply says that all he cares about , right now , @ @ @ @ @ , golf , eating his daily four Big Macs , golf , and texting Hope @ @ @ @ @ a day .
Meanwhile , the Bravo Network ’ s Andy Cohen was asked if @ @ @ @ @ Electoral College President ’ s hospital stay cost the U.S. taxpayers .
Cohen said that @ @ @ @ @ stay cost the United States taxpayers , $ 97.2 million .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – President Trump was asked by a reporter with the iNews Agency, how much his 3-day Walter Reed Hospital stay cost the American taxpayers.
He replied that he did not give diddly squat how much it cost, because he has the greatest health care in the history of health cares.
Trump, who wants to cut the health care of 19 million elderly citizens, 27 million poor citizens, and to everyone living in California, simply says that all he cares about, right now, is golf, getting re-elected, golf, eating his daily four Big Macs, golf, and texting Hope Hicks at least seven times a day.
Meanwhile, the Bravo Network’s Andy Cohen was asked if he knew how much the Electoral College President’s hospital stay cost the U.S. taxpayers.
Cohen said that the Coronavirus-Spreader's 3-day hospital stay cost the United States taxpayers, $97.2 million.


thespoof--2020-10-09--Claudia Conway is Giving Her Mother Kellyanne Conway Hell!

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – The Washington Globe Express reports that there are fireworks over at George and Kellyanne Conway ’ s home , all courtesy of the Conways ’ teenage daughter , Claudia .
It seems that the teenage Tik Tok Princess and her mother have been going at it like cat and dog , ever since her mom gave up her cushy job as Trump ’ s chief adviser/wet nurse .
Kellyanne , who would spin Trump ’ s arrogantly sarcastic words into words that made at least a smidgen of a semblance of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to leave her job .
A White House aid said Kellyanne quit to stay home , and try to straighten out her wild-as-hell little girl , as well as keeping her husband , George , happy in the bedroom department , so he doesn ’ t divorce her GOP ass .
Claudia , who now has close to 4 million followers , tweets things like : thanks to President Bozo , the USA 's economy is now worse than El Salvador ’ s , her mom has inverted nipples , and one of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
The teen-tweeting machine says that she has been asked to appear on CNN , MSNBC , ESPN-4 , and the R-rated Chicago talk show “ Talking Shit With Chip Chiparello ” .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The Washington Globe Express reports that there are fireworks over at George and Kellyanne Conway’s home, all courtesy of the Conways’ teenage daughter, Claudia.
It seems that the teenage Tik Tok Princess and her mother have been going at it like cat and dog, ever since her mom gave up her cushy job as Trump’s chief adviser/wet nurse.
Kellyanne, who would spin Trump’s arrogantly sarcastic words into words that made at least a smidgen of a semblance of some sense, is devastated about having to leave her job.
A White House aid said Kellyanne quit to stay home, and try to straighten out her wild-as-hell little girl, as well as keeping her husband, George, happy in the bedroom department, so he doesn’t divorce her GOP ass.
Claudia, who now has close to 4 million followers, tweets things like: thanks to President Bozo, the USA's economy is now worse than El Salvador’s, her mom has inverted nipples, and one of Trump’s gonads is still undescended.
The teen-tweeting machine says that she has been asked to appear on CNN, MSNBC, ESPN-4, and the R-rated Chicago talk show “Talking Shit With Chip Chiparello”.


thespoof--2020-10-08--Nation Traumatized by Cancellation of Second Trump Biden Debate; Millions May Need Counseling

Washington - The news that Donald Trump has refused to take part in the second debate with Joe Biden because @ @ @ @ @ been moved online , thus reducing his opportunity to disrupt , interfere and drown out @ @ @ @ @ .
Trump , who seemed more like a rude heckler than a candidate for office @ @ @ @ @ said he didn ’ t need to debate again anyway , since he will be @ @ @ @ @ .
“ I ’ m sure my great followers will be disappointed not to see @ @ @ @ @ are the losers for not being able to hear my words of wisdom ” .

Washington - The news that Donald Trump has refused to take part in the second debate with Joe Biden because the town hall format has been moved online, thus reducing his opportunity to disrupt, interfere and drown out the arguments of his opponent.
Trump, who seemed more like a rude heckler than a candidate for office in the first debate, said he didn’t need to debate again anyway, since he will be the winner on November 3rd.
“I’m sure my great followers will be disappointed not to see me again. The voters are the losers for not being able to hear my words of wisdom”.


thespoof--2020-10-09--Hannity Will Moderate Next Debate After His Nose is Surgically Removed from Trump’s Ass

Washington - Fox News host Sean Hannity will be tabbed by the President and his supporters to be the moderator @ @ @ @ @ himself and Joe Biden .
The location , according to Trump , will be the @ @ @ @ @ will be required to wear red “ Make America Great Again ” hats and no @ @ @ @ @ be the moderator .
The Fox News propaganda peddler promised to let Trump interrupt Biden @ @ @ @ @ , and will not fact-check the President .
He did promise , however , to @ @ @ @ @ “ lock Joe up ” cheers after the debate is concluded .
Surgery was scheduled @ @ @ @ @ which a team of doctors will have Hannity ’ s nose removed from the President @ @ @ @ @ could be heard in the debate hall .

Washington - Fox News host Sean Hannity will be tabbed by the President and his supporters to be the moderator of the next debate between himself and Joe Biden.
The location, according to Trump, will be the Fox News studios. Guests will be required to wear red “Make America Great Again” hats and no masks.
Sean Hannity will be the moderator. The Fox News propaganda peddler promised to let Trump interrupt Biden “whenever he wants”, and will not fact-check the President. He did promise, however, to only lead the audience in “lock Joe up” cheers after the debate is concluded.
Surgery was scheduled for Hannity tomorrow, in which a team of doctors will have Hannity’s nose removed from the President’s anus so he could be heard in the debate hall.


thespoof--2020-10-10--Trump Supporters No Longer Fear Coronavirus

Supporters of the US president , Donald Trump , have come out in force across the country , and said that , after he spoke so boldly about his having defeated the Coronavirus , and telling everyone not to fear COVID-19 , they , too , can now face up to the pandemic with a new reassurance safe in the knowledge that they are also going to survive .
The President was released from the Walter Reed hospital last week , and immediately went live on TV , advising viewers not to let fear of the virus dominate their lives @ @ @ @ @ @ @ mask , as if to indicate that , whether he was wearing one or not , no pesky virus was going to get the better of .
Trump supporters said their confidence in him and everything he utters had been bolstered by his strong words and actions , and that they now regarded COVID-19 as something they could defeat , if only if only they were as determined to do so as he was .
One man , Bert Jerkov , from New York , said : '' If Donald Trump , at @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on the deadly Coronavirus with his bare hands , and , more importantly , his bare , maybe it 's not as deadly as we all thought . ''

Supporters of the US president, Donald Trump, have come out in force across the country, and said that, after he spoke so boldly about his having defeated the Coronavirus, and telling everyone not to fear COVID-19, they, too, can now face up to the pandemic with a new reassurance safe in the knowledge that they are also going to survive.
The President was released from the Walter Reed hospital last week, and immediately went live on TV, advising viewers not to let fear of the virus dominate their lives.
He dismissively ripped off his face mask, as if to indicate that, whether he was wearing one or not, no pesky virus was going to get the better of him .
Trump supporters said their confidence in him and everything he utters had been bolstered by his strong words and actions, and that they now regarded COVID-19 as something they could defeat, if only if only they were as determined to do so as he was.
One man, Bert Jerkov, from New York, said:


thespoof--2020-10-10--Donald Trump Is Desperate

Donald Trump Is Desperate

While Susan Collins promises to do the windows of everyone in Maine who is voting for her , Donald Trump is trying to win the minority vote away from Joe Biden with an invitation to the White House .
First , he ’ s trying to folksy up his first name by calling himself , Donny .
That goes over like a morbidly obese man sitting on a daisy .
But anyway , William Barr introduced him to the outdoor White House invitees as , Donny Trump .
Donny took to the microphone on the Truman Balcony in rolled-up shirt @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Billy Barr everyone , my Attorney .
I mean , Attorney General.
” No applause followed , so Donny , never one to waste a soundless moment , launched into his campaign speech , “ Billy here is going to arrest Joseph Biden , Kenyan born Barack Hussein Obama and Hillary Clinton for messing with my 2016 campaign erection , I mean election .
They spied on my campaign , and that was the biggest crime in the history of the whole world.
” Using a megaphone , someone on the White @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the Holocaust ?
” A group of bearded , overweight men wearing open plaid shirts , black military fatigues ( hanging under their bellies ) and carrying automatic weapons , immediately set upon him , doing a Mexican hat dance on his megaphone , dragging him down the White House driveway , and throwing him out of the gates along with what remained of his megaphone .
Donny continued .
“ I ’ m going to get each one of you the same kind of coronavirus medicine I was given at Walter Reed @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Joseph , what ’ s his name , the communist candidate from the other party , won ’ t do that , but I will .
That ’ s a promise.
” A brave soul , who could only be described as a sacrificial lamb , asked , “ Is that a promise like releasing your tax records ?
” He will be served for dinner .
Read more by this author : • Buy A Very British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , at Amazon.com

While Susan Collins promises to do the windows of everyone in Maine who is voting for her, Donald Trump is trying to win the minority vote away from Joe Biden with an invitation to the White House.
First, he’s trying to folksy up his first name by calling himself, Donny.
That goes over like a morbidly obese man sitting on a daisy. But anyway, William Barr introduced him to the outdoor White House invitees as, Donny Trump.
Donny took to the microphone on the Truman Balcony in rolled-up shirt sleeves, saying, “Thanks Billy. Billy Barr everyone, my Attorney. I mean, Attorney General.”
No applause followed, so Donny, never one to waste a soundless moment, launched into his campaign speech, “Billy here is going to arrest Joseph Biden, Kenyan born Barack Hussein Obama and Hillary Clinton for messing with my 2016 campaign erection, I mean election. They spied on my campaign, and that was the biggest crime in the history of the whole world.”
Using a megaphone, someone on the White House lawn asked, “What about the Holocaust?”
A group of bearded, overweight men wearing open plaid shirts, black military fatigues (hanging under their bellies) and carrying automatic weapons, immediately set upon him, doing a Mexican hat dance on his megaphone, dragging him down the White House driveway, and throwing him out of the gates along with what remained of his megaphone.
Donny continued. “I’m going to get each one of you the same kind of coronavirus medicine I was given at Walter Reed. That’s a promise. Joseph, what’s his name, the communist candidate from the other party, won’t do that, but I will. That’s a promise.”
A brave soul, who could only be described as a sacrificial lamb, asked, “Is that a promise like releasing your tax records?”
He will be served for dinner.
Read more by this author:


thespoof--2020-10-10--Trump Issues COVID Challenge

Trump Issues COVID Challenge

Donald Trump is becoming increasingly unhinged as he sees his reelection hopes dimming with each passing day .
In his @ @ @ @ @ , he has actually issued a COVID challenge to Joe Biden .
Trump noted that @ @ @ @ @ record time , despite being overweight , overworked , and underappreciated .
That proved that @ @ @ @ @ the challenge of being president , as opposed to “ Sleepy Joe , ” who @ @ @ @ @ only be a placeholder until Harris becomes president .
Trump has challenged Biden to contract @ @ @ @ @ “ Tell you what .
If he recovers in even twice the time it took @ @ @ @ @ fit , and I ’ ll even vote for him.
” Interestingly , Kamala Harris @ @ @ @ @ point , and indicated that she will encourage Biden to take the test if he @ @ @ @ @ he can remove any doubts about his ability to serve the nation .

Donald Trump is becoming increasingly unhinged as he sees his reelection hopes dimming with each passing day. In his most desperate move to date, he has actually issued a COVID challenge to Joe Biden.
Trump noted that he recovered from COVID in record time, despite being overweight, overworked, and underappreciated. That proved that he was physically up to the challenge of being president, as opposed to “Sleepy Joe,” who, if elected, will only be a placeholder until Harris becomes president.
Trump has challenged Biden to contract COVID, and added:
“Tell you what. If he recovers in even twice the time it took me, he’s fit, and I’ll even vote for him.”
Interestingly, Kamala Harris acknowledged that Trump has a point, and indicated that she will encourage Biden to take the test if he is elected, so that he can remove any doubts about his ability to serve the nation.


thespoof--2020-10-10--Woman Realizes She’s a Terrible Bore When Zoom Camera Keeps Focusing on Plant Behind Her

Arlington , Illinois - A local woman whose downtown office closing during the pandemic has resulted in her working from @ @ @ @ @ zoom meetings , has been forced to accept the reality that her lack of wit @ @ @ @ @ smart camera on her computer screen to focus on plants , wall paintings and any @ @ @ @ @ in the room , other than her .
Co-workers involved in the conversations often had @ @ @ @ @ to make sure she was awake and present at the meetings , when the camera @ @ @ @ @ the screen .
“ I ’ ll need to , perhaps , work a little @ @ @ @ @ felt at these meetings .
I ’ m more of an ideas person , ” @ @ @ @

Arlington, Illinois - A local woman whose downtown office closing during the pandemic has resulted in her working from home and participating in numerous zoom meetings, has been forced to accept the reality that her lack of wit and personality have forced the smart camera on her computer screen to focus on plants, wall paintings and any other objects it can find in the room, other than her.
Co-workers involved in the conversations often had to call her name out to make sure she was awake and present at the meetings, when the camera had completely eliminated her from the screen.
“I’ll need to, perhaps, work a little harder to make my presence felt at these meetings. I’m more of an ideas person,” reasoned the woman.


thespoof--2020-10-10--President Trump Transfers Millions From His Campaign Fund to His Personal Charity Fund

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – An independent auditing firm has just revealed that President Trump recently @ @ @ @ @ his re-election campaign fund to his own personal charity fund .
The chief auditor with @ @ @ @ @ Audits ‘ R ’ Us , said that the transaction is highly illegal in 49 @ @ @ @ @ When asked which state does not recognize the transaction as being illegal , he replied @ @ @ @ @ was recently asked how come he likes Alabama so much .
He replied that Alabamians @ @ @ @ @ type of 2020 plantation owner .
The President remarked that the poor , down-trodden , @ @ @ @ @ understands that the damn cotton-eating boll weevils can chew up a cottonfield in the time @ @ @ @ @ take a dump .
Trump was asked about this illegal transfer .
He replied that @ @ @ @ @ the many perks of being president ; like getting free coffee at Starbucks , or @ @ @ @ @ , or free condoms at Walgreens .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – An independent auditing firm has just revealed that President Trump recently transferred $8.3 million from his re-election campaign fund to his own personal charity fund.
The chief auditor with the Milwaukee auditing firm, Audits ‘R’ Us, said that the transaction is highly illegal in 49 of the 50 states.
When asked which state does not recognize the transaction as being illegal, he replied, Alabama.
POTUS, was recently asked how come he likes Alabama so much. He replied that Alabamians look to him as a type of 2020 plantation owner.
The President remarked that the poor, down-trodden, beer-drinking people know that he understands that the damn cotton-eating boll weevils can chew up a cottonfield in the time it takes a canary to take a dump.
Trump was asked about this illegal transfer. He replied that this is just one of the many perks of being president; like getting free coffee at Starbucks, or free Big Macs at McDonalds, or free condoms at Walgreens.


thespoof--2020-10-10--President Trump Cancels The Second Debate Because The Debate Committee Said They Would Not Put Up Wi

President Trump Cancels The Second Debate Because The Debate Committee Said They Would Not Put Up With His Bullsh*t a Second Time

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) - The Washington Globe-Express says that President Trump has backed out of the second presidential debate .
Trump was not happy with the fact that the debate moderator was going to have the authority to cut off his microphone anytime he rudely interrupts when Joe Biden is speaking .
POTUS was told , in no uncertain terms , that he may own Trump Tower , Trump University , and the Trump Tire Shop , but he does not own the National Debate Federation .
Trump was also demanding that Joe Biden show @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ t born in Guatemala .
The NDF quickly told the President to go eff himself , because he is not going to boss them around the way he intimidates the likes of pu*sy wimps , such as Graham , McConnell , Jordan , Cruz , and Rubio .
Trump ’ s blood pressure reportedly shot up to 203 over 179 .
He turned as orange as a tangerine , and his hair stood on end .
Meanwhile , Melania has allegedly been texting back and forth with a certain , unnamed NBA @ @

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) - The Washington Globe-Express says that President Trump has backed out of the second presidential debate.
Trump was not happy with the fact that the debate moderator was going to have the authority to cut off his microphone anytime he rudely interrupts when Joe Biden is speaking.
POTUS was told, in no uncertain terms, that he may own Trump Tower, Trump University, and the Trump Tire Shop, but he does not own the National Debate Federation.
Trump was also demanding that Joe Biden show his birth certificate to prove he wasn’t born in Guatemala.
The NDF quickly told the President to go eff himself, because he is not going to boss them around the way he intimidates the likes of pu*sy wimps, such as Graham, McConnell, Jordan, Cruz, and Rubio.
Trump’s blood pressure reportedly shot up to 203 over 179. He turned as orange as a tangerine, and his hair stood on end.
Meanwhile, Melania has allegedly been texting back and forth with a certain, unnamed NBA player.


thespoof--2020-10-10--Vice Presidential Debate Leaked Unused Question

We all watched the presidential candidates Mike Pence and Kamala Harris go at it , and it was toned down when compared to last week 's affair .
These two important leaders gave us their best insight into how their running-mates would run our country for the next 4 years .
Our news insiders found a question that was not used for the live session , but was cut out due to the lack of time .
However , both candidates DID respond to the question , and the soundbites are out there - you just need to look for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ candidates responses to the infamous `` cut question '' of the night .
It was from 5-year-old Shelly B. in Dayton , Ohio , who asked , `` Who are the people that will find a stick that I need to build a fort ? ''
Mike Pence was chosen to go first .
He stated , `` Well , thank you Shelly from Dayton .
I just want to say that I 'd like to use some of my time to say I think that the Green New Deal will be bad @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ever so hard to revive right now .
Biden will increase taxes on everyone , and it will not be sustainable .
Thank you .
Now , in regards to the person you need to give you a stick for your fort , I would start with a relative you trust .
Maybe your parents or an older sibling that can find you a strong stick .
If you ask just anyone , you are not going to get the best stick for the job , so be selective in your choice .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ fort on your street that you can play with others in , as long as they are six feet away and wearing masks . ''
Moderator , `` Thank you , Mr. Pence .
Ms. Harris , same question to you . ''
And Ms. Harris said , `` I love that you want to be a strong leader in our community .
You 're a woman , so you 're stronger than any man , OK ?
Do n't ask a man , because he will put you down the wrong path @ @ @ @ @ @ @ your community , like your mom , aunt , or Wonder Woman .
She was made without a man , so she is a perfect choice in this situation .
But once your little fort is built , then you can put a welcome mat on the front that reads , 'Mens ' Stolen Dreams ' , so every day you can trample your feet on them .
Thank you !
So cute ! ''

We all watched the presidential candidates Mike Pence and Kamala Harris go at it, and it was toned down when compared to last week's affair.
These two important leaders gave us their best insight into how their running-mates would run our country for the next 4 years.
Our news insiders found a question that was not used for the live session, but was cut out due to the lack of time. However, both candidates DID respond to the question, and the soundbites are out there - you just need to look for them.
But here are the vice-presidential candidates responses to the infamous "cut question" of the night.
It was from 5-year-old Shelly B. in Dayton, Ohio, who asked, "Who are the people that will find a stick that I need to build a fort?"
Mike Pence was chosen to go first. He stated, "Well, thank you Shelly from Dayton. I just want to say that I'd like to use some of my time to say I think that the Green New Deal will be bad for the economy that we are trying ever so hard to revive right now. Biden will increase taxes on everyone, and it will not be sustainable. Thank you. Now, in regards to the person you need to give you a stick for your fort, I would start with a relative you trust. Maybe your parents or an older sibling that can find you a strong stick. If you ask just anyone, you are not going to get the best stick for the job, so be selective in your choice. Then, you can build a strong fort on your street that you can play with others in, as long as they are six feet away and wearing masks."
Moderator, "Thank you, Mr. Pence. Ms. Harris, same question to you."
And Ms. Harris said, "I love that you want to be a strong leader in our community. You're a woman, so you're stronger than any man, OK? Don't ask a man, because he will put you down the wrong path, so ask a strong woman in your community, like your mom, aunt, or Wonder Woman. She was made without a man, so she is a perfect choice in this situation. But once your little fort is built, then you can put a welcome mat on the front that reads, 'Mens' Stolen Dreams', so every day you can trample your feet on them. Thank you! So cute!"


thespoof--2020-10-10--An Emergency Visit At Walter Reed Medical Center?

Someone made an emergency trip to Walter Reed Medical Center last year .
There 's a rumor that someone got something stuck north of the mangos .
The rumor follows that , after several days , it had n't surrendered .
So , it had to be removed .
Professionally .
Like inserting a stent into a heart valve , but not geographically near the same area , a robot hook , directed by an experienced doctor in that field ( whatever that particular field might be ) , had to be called .
Let ’ s say : It @ @ @ @ @ @ @ grab by the pussy .
The old boys club made snickering jokes , laughing up their sleeves .
But some of the lady staff members are speaking out loud .
Who the male patient was is confidential .
However , there are over 3,953,094,353 men in the world .
So it has to be one of them .
How many men made emergency trips to Walter Reed Hospital last year ?
That narrows down the numbers significantly .
How many were emergency trips on a same-day outpatient basis ?
Again , the number @ @ @ @ @ @ @ been a miniature copy of the Washington Monument that split in half .
And it may not have been .
So the mystery continues .
Or until sunshine can shed light on the situation .
Read more by this author : • Buy A Very British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , at Amazon.com

Someone made an emergency trip to Walter Reed Medical Center last year. There's a rumor that someone got something stuck north of the mangos. The rumor follows that, after several days, it hadn't surrendered.
So, it had to be removed. Professionally.
Like inserting a stent into a heart valve, but not geographically near the same area, a robot hook, directed by an experienced doctor in that field (whatever that particular field might be), had to be called.
Let’s say: It wasn’t something you could easily grab by the pussy.
The old boys club made snickering jokes, laughing up their sleeves.
But some of the lady staff members are speaking out loud.
Who the male patient was is confidential. However, there are over 3,953,094,353 men in the world. So it has to be one of them.
How many men made emergency trips to Walter Reed Hospital last year? That narrows down the numbers significantly.
How many were emergency trips on a same-day outpatient basis? Again, the number drops.
Someone suggested It may have been a miniature copy of the Washington Monument that split in half.
And it may not have been. So the mystery continues.
Or until sunshine can shed light on the situation.
Maybe.
Read more by this author:


thespoof--2020-10-11--Sleepy Joe Biden: Trying To Think, But Nothing Happens

BILLINGSGATE POST : Today , Democrats unleashed a three-pronged attack on President Trump .
Resorting to antics first used back in the 1930 's by Larry , Moe and Curly of the Three Stooges , their present-day counterparts , Sleepy Joe Biden , Kamala “ Breath ” Harris , and the chicken-lipped , slack-jawed jackal , Nancy Poozleosi , are slapping , thonking and nyuk !
nyuk !
nyuking each other as they prepare for the election on November 3 .
On October 22 , we will celebrated the birthday of the beloved Curly of the Three Stooges .
Curly @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn on that date in 1903 .
Famous for supplying Sleepy Joe Biden the memorable line , `` I 'm trying to think , but nothing happens '' , Curly , like Biden , enjoyed going completely nuts in his comic productions .
While you could understand Curly when he was woob !
woob !
woobing , Biden , when he goes into his lying , dog-faced pony soldier routine , is completely berserk .
How fitting it is that Curly ’ s birthday is on the same day @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Trump !
After spending months in his basement kennel , will Sleepy Joe ’ s dog still bark , or will he throw his paws up in the air and say : “ I ’ m trying to think , but nothing happens ” ?
`` Dirty Trick '' Detwiler , of the BILLINGSGATE POST , will be covering this developing story .
Like the NYT and the Washington Post , Dirty promises to give you the unvarnished , the indisputable and the most untrustworthy news .
Slim : “ How come you @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you ?
” Dirty : “ Yo , Dude , The cream is coming to the top .
”

BILLINGSGATE POST: Today, Democrats unleashed a three-pronged attack on President Trump. Resorting to antics first used back in the 1930's by Larry, Moe and Curly of the Three Stooges, their present-day counterparts, Sleepy Joe Biden, Kamala “Breath” Harris, and the chicken-lipped, slack-jawed jackal, Nancy Poozleosi, are slapping, thonking and nyuk! nyuk! nyuking each other as they prepare for the election on November 3.
On October 22, we will celebrated the birthday of the beloved Curly of the Three Stooges. Curly Howard was born Jerome Lester Horowitz in the Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn on that date in 1903. Famous for supplying Sleepy Joe Biden the memorable line, "I'm trying to think, but nothing happens", Curly, like Biden, enjoyed going completely nuts in his comic productions.
While you could understand Curly when he was woob! woob! woobing, Biden, when he goes into his lying, dog-faced pony soldier routine, is completely berserk. How fitting it is that Curly’s birthday is on the same day as the final debate between Biden and Trump!
A coincidence? I think not.
After spending months in his basement kennel, will Sleepy Joe’s dog still bark, or will he throw his paws up in the air and say: “I’m trying to think, but nothing happens”?
"Dirty Trick" Detwiler, of the BILLINGSGATE POST, will be covering this developing story. Like the NYT and the Washington Post, Dirty promises to give you the unvarnished, the indisputable and the most untrustworthy news.
Slim: “How come you always get the puff pieces assigned to you?”
Dirty: “Yo, Dude, The cream is coming to the top.”


thespoof--2020-10-11--Dolly Parton Says If Trump Were To Grab Her Pussy, It Would Tear His Hand Off

Dolly Parton , the mega-successful Country and Western chanteuse , has broken her own self-imposed rule about keeping quiet on the subject of politics by firing a 'warning shot across the bows ' of the US president , Donald J. Trump .
Commenting on the President 's self-confessed penchant for grabbing female genitalia , she asserted that , if Trump ever risked pulling the same stunt with her , he 'd better be prepared for a surprise .
`` If Donald J. Trump laid a finga on ma pussy he 'd wan na be wearin ' some forma armor platin @ @ @ @ @ @ @ see that finga again . ''
Making any bolder attempt - grabbing , for instance - would almost certainly end in disaster , she said .
Unless amputation 's on his mahnd , '' she drawled .
President Trump is reputed to have very small hands , which makes it all the more unbelievable that he has been able to grab anybody 's pussy , let alone the pussies of women .
In a financial sense , the President could be said to have very effective hands - they being all over anything @ @ @ @ @ @ @ have a finger in every pie .
Still , Ms. Parton was unmoved and adamant : '' It may look lahk a harmless littl ' thing , but if Donald eva steps outta line , he 'll wind up armless . ''

Dolly Parton, the mega-successful Country and Western chanteuse, has broken her own self-imposed rule about keeping quiet on the subject of politics by firing a 'warning shot across the bows' of the US president, Donald J. Trump.
Commenting on the President's self-confessed penchant for grabbing female genitalia, she asserted that, if Trump ever risked pulling the same stunt with her, he'd better be prepared for a surprise.
The Tennessee-born singer warned:
"If Donald J. Trump laid a finga on ma pussy he'd wanna be wearin' some forma armor platin' - that's if he wantsta see that finga again."
Making any bolder attempt - grabbing, for instance - would almost certainly end in disaster, she said.
Unless amputation's on his mahnd," she drawled.
President Trump is reputed to have very small hands, which makes it all the more unbelievable that he has been able to grab anybody's pussy, let alone the pussies of several women.
In a financial sense, the President could be said to have very effective hands - they being all over anything with a high value - and to have a finger in every pie.
Still, Ms. Parton was unmoved and adamant:
"It may look lahk a harmless littl' thing, but if Donald eva steps outta line, he'll wind up armless."


thespoof--2020-10-11--The White House Rose Garden Has Been Fumigated 9 Times and It's Still Testing Positive For The Coron

The White House Rose Garden Has Been Fumigated 9 Times and It's Still Testing Positive For The Coronavirus

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – A White House insider has stated that due to the fact that the Rose Garden is infested with the Coronavirus , it is probably going to have to be completely demolished .
One of the White House gardeners , Napoleon Tripp , 87 , said that `` Rosie '' has already been fumigated 9 times , by the Spray Away Fumigating Company .
According to the iRumors News Agency , the White House has already hired The Bombs Away Destroying & Demolishing Company of Brooklyn .
They 're a very reputable @ @ @ @ @ @ @ War general statues , abandoned houses of ill repute , and dilapidated white extremists ’ hideouts .
iRumors is reporting that there may be a conflict of interest , due to the fact that the Bombs Away Destroying & Demolishing Company is partially owned by one Kimberly Guilfoyle , who just happens to be the girlfriend of Trump ’ s eldest son , Donald Trump Jr. A source inside the White House revealed that President Trump is receiving a $ 2,000 commission fee from Ms. Guilfoyle , so every thing is peachy keen @ @ @ @ @ @ @

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A White House insider has stated that due to the fact that the Rose Garden is infested with the Coronavirus, it is probably going to have to be completely demolished.
One of the White House gardeners, Napoleon Tripp, 87, said that "Rosie" has already been fumigated 9 times, by the Spray Away Fumigating Company.
According to the iRumors News Agency, the White House has already hired The Bombs Away Destroying & Demolishing Company of Brooklyn.
They're a very reputable company having demolished dozens of Confederate Civil War general statues, abandoned houses of ill repute, and dilapidated white extremists’ hideouts.
iRumors is reporting that there may be a conflict of interest, due to the fact that the Bombs Away Destroying & Demolishing Company is partially owned by one Kimberly Guilfoyle, who just happens to be the girlfriend of Trump’s eldest son, Donald Trump Jr.
A source inside the White House revealed that President Trump is receiving a $2,000 commission fee from Ms. Guilfoyle, so every thing is peachy keen, as they say in Georgia.


thespoof--2020-10-10--President Trump’s White House South Lawn Coronavirus-Spreader Campaign Hate Rally Flops

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Political Satire ) – The Los Angeles Post-Gazette said that Trump ’ s lowly-anticipated White House hate rally came off with all the excitement of morning dew .
The President repeated the same old batch of lies that he has come to be known for .
He said that Hillary Clinton was born in Moscow .
He then pointed out that Barack Obama is really only 5-foot-2-inches tall .
And he commented that Nancy Pelosi is pregnant with twins .
The crowd estimated to be between 70 and 73 , all wore color-coordinated powder blue @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ever-present boring red MAGA caps .
The Post-Gazette said that the Trumptards resembled a crowd that one would see cheering on North Korean leader Kim Jong-un in Pyongyang .
Trump got the biggest applause when he told the people that , thanks to Clorox , Lysol , and half a dozen Big Macs , he is now completely cured of the Coronavirus , and the only thing in his body now is muscle .
POTUS remarked that his personal physician , Dr. Yang Fu Fi , even told him that he will live @ @ @ @ @ @ @ reported that the hate rally flopped because DJT was expecting upwards of 300,000 supporters .

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Political Satire) – The Los Angeles Post-Gazette said that Trump’s lowly-anticipated White House hate rally came off with all the excitement of morning dew.
The President repeated the same old batch of lies that he has come to be known for. He said that Hillary Clinton was born in Moscow.
He then pointed out that Barack Obama is really only 5-foot-2-inches tall. And he commented that Nancy Pelosi is pregnant with twins.
The crowd estimated to be between 70 and 73, all wore color-coordinated powder blue shirts and, of course, the ever-present boring red MAGA caps.
The Post-Gazette said that the Trumptards resembled a crowd that one would see cheering on North Korean leader Kim Jong-un in Pyongyang.
Trump got the biggest applause when he told the people that, thanks to Clorox, Lysol, and half a dozen Big Macs, he is now completely cured of the Coronavirus, and the only thing in his body now is muscle.
POTUS remarked that his personal physician, Dr. Yang Fu Fi, even told him that he will live to be 104.
Meanwhile, CNN reported that the hate rally flopped because DJT was expecting upwards of 300,000 supporters.


thespoof--2020-10-11--Rock Paper Scissors Tournament

Rock Paper Scissors Tournament

In Watkinsonville , GA - Chik-fil-a hosted a Rock Paper Scissors tournament where the winner received free food for one year .
Seth Welch was the lucky winner , in what the assistant marketing director called a good chance for the restaurant to meet and greet new people and prospective customers .
We met with Seth , and he was an active , helpful , and friendly guy .
We needed something to write about , so we decided to meet with Seth at 6 and 12 months after his decisive rock paper scissors win .
We wanted to see @ @ @ @ @ @ @ could change a person .
Six months into Seth ’ s victory , and already he gained weight , was irritable , and losing hair .
He didn ’ t recognize us , and we had to almost re-introduce ourselves .
In one instance , he hit our intern because he didn ’ t answer his question , so we left .
Twelve months into his greatest accomplishment in life , and he was having trouble moving about , his blood type changed from A negative to cheese curds , and he had @ @ @ @ @ @ @ wear a diaper wherever he went .
Most of his speech was garbled and nonsensical and he hit our intern again .
We decided it was worth it to do a one-year follow-up after that last visit , because his doctor and family had an intervention and he could not eat any fast food/junk food for the entire year .
After a one-year cleanse , he could speak , he lost all the weight , he was coherent , and back to the great guy that he was all that time ago .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ still punched him in the face .

In Watkinsonville, GA - Chik-fil-a hosted a Rock Paper Scissors tournament where the winner received free food for one year. Seth Welch was the lucky winner, in what the assistant marketing director called a good chance for the restaurant to meet and greet new people and prospective customers. We met with Seth, and he was an active, helpful, and friendly guy.
We needed something to write about, so we decided to meet with Seth at 6 and 12 months after his decisive rock paper scissors win. We wanted to see if eating a ton of fast food could change a person.
Six months into Seth’s victory, and already he gained weight, was irritable, and losing hair. He didn’t recognize us, and we had to almost re-introduce ourselves. In one instance, he hit our intern because he didn’t answer his question, so we left.
Twelve months into his greatest accomplishment in life, and he was having trouble moving about, his blood type changed from A negative to cheese curds, and he had chronic diarrhea, so he had to wear a diaper wherever he went. Most of his speech was garbled and nonsensical and he hit our intern again.
We decided it was worth it to do a one-year follow-up after that last visit, because his doctor and family had an intervention and he could not eat any fast food/junk food for the entire year. After a one-year cleanse, he could speak, he lost all the weight, he was coherent, and back to the great guy that he was all that time ago. Despite all of this, our intern still punched him in the face.


thespoof--2020-10-11--Trumper Militia Kidnap Mitch McConnell and Force Him to Stay at Covid Infested White House

Louisville - A Kentucky pro-Trump militia have kidnapped Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell from his home here , and have @ @ @ @ @ House grounds where he will be held until the election .
Militia members became enraged @ @ @ @ @ to attend virus super-spreading events at the White House and his constant wearing of masks @ @ @ @ @ happy to see McConnell , gave him a big Covid hug , and assured him @ @ @ @ @ getting Covid ” .
“ I have a private helicopter that can transport you to @ @ @ @ @ the latest treatment administered by 20 of the best doctors .
It will be like @ @ @ @ @ ” said Trump to McConnell .

Louisville - A Kentucky pro-Trump militia have kidnapped Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell from his home here, and have transported him to the White House grounds where he will be held until the election.
Militia members became enraged at McConnell’s refusal to attend virus super-spreading events at the White House and his constant wearing of masks in Washington D.C.
Trump was happy to see McConnell, gave him a big Covid hug, and assured him he “need not fear getting Covid”.
“I have a private helicopter that can transport you to Walter Reed Hospital to get the latest treatment administered by 20 of the best doctors. It will be like a gift from God!” said Trump to McConnell.


thespoof--2020-10-12--Trillions of Newly Created Fed Covid Relief Dollars Miraculously End Up in the Pockets of Wealthy St

Trillions of Newly Created Fed Covid Relief Dollars Miraculously End Up in the Pockets of Wealthy Stockholders

Washington - Defying all economic laws and past history , most of the trillions of dollars in new money created @ @ @ @ @ ended up having boosted the net worth of the top 2 % of U.S. households @ @ @ @ @ at the development .
White House Economic Advisor Lawrence Kudlow said he did n't know @ @ @ @ @ .
When reminded that the same thing happened in 2008 when Wall Street firms drove @ @ @ @ @ , and eere then awarded trillions in government loans and management bonuses to fix the @ @ @ @ @ he `` did n't remember that experience because I slept a lot back in those @ @ @ @ @ thousands of small businesses , workers and low income households were advised by Kudlow to @ @ @ @ @ while longer while the benefits of the Fed money printing trickle down '' to them @

Washington - Defying all economic laws and past history, most of the trillions of dollars in new money created by the Federal Reserve has ended up having boosted the net worth of the top 2% of U.S. households. Administration Economists were stunned at the development.
White House Economic Advisor Lawrence Kudlow said he didn't know where the figures came from. When reminded that the same thing happened in 2008 when Wall Street firms drove the monetary system into near-collapse, and eere then awarded trillions in government loans and management bonuses to fix the mess, Kudlow responded that he "didn't remember that experience because I slept a lot back in those days."
Hundreds of thousands of small businesses, workers and low income households were advised by Kudlow to "hang on a little while longer while the benefits of the Fed money printing trickle down" to them.


thespoof--2020-10-12--Republicans' Predictions of Religion Being an Issue at the Barrett Hearing Come True After They All

Republicans' Predictions of Religion Being an Issue at the Barrett Hearing Come True After They All Bring it Up

Washington - The confirmation hearings of Judge Amy Coney Barrett proceeded Monday morning at the U.S. Senate amid partisan bickering @ @ @ @ @ of the Judiciary Committee .
Supporters of Judge Barrett , which includes almost all Repubican @ @ @ @ @ were quick to point out , in opening arguments , that making an issue of @ @ @ @ @ was just plain wrong , and that the American people will see through such attempts @ @ @ @ @ Republicans in the hearings and election .
Democrats largely avoided the issue of the Judge @ @ @ @ @ leaving most , if not all , of the discussion around her religious beliefs to @ @ @ @ @ think we have shown the irresponsible discussion around the candidate 's religion to be prevalent @ @ @ @ @ said Committee Chairman Lindsey Graham .
`` If you think you can question the Judge @ @ @ @ @ , you are in the wrong town my friend , '' he screamed at himself @

Washington - The confirmation hearings of Judge Amy Coney Barrett proceeded Monday morning at the U.S. Senate amid partisan bickering between Democrat and Republican members of the Judiciary Committee.
Supporters of Judge Barrett, which includes almost all Repubican members of the Senate, were quick to point out, in opening arguments, that making an issue of Judge Barrett's Catholic religion was just plain wrong, and that the American people will see through such attempts, and side with the Republicans in the hearings and election.
Democrats largely avoided the issue of the Judge's religion, however, leaving most, if not all, of the discussion around her religious beliefs to the GOP.
"I think we have shown the irresponsible discussion around the candidate's religion to be prevalent in these discussions," said Committee Chairman Lindsey Graham. "If you think you can question the Judge's religion in these hearings, you are in the wrong town my friend," he screamed at himself.


thespoof--2020-10-12--Trumper Militias Sending Armed Guards to Polling Locations to Make Sure U.S. Doesn't Turn Into Venez

Trumper Militias Sending Armed Guards to Polling Locations to Make Sure U.S. Doesn't Turn Into Venezuela

Washington - After President Trump suggested that armed guards might be needed at polling stations in the United States for @ @ @ @ @ militias felt activated by the President to perform their patriotic duty and help in the @ @ @ @ @ American voters .
The GOP , which has allowed Trump powers heretofore only reserved for @ @ @ @ @ including obstructing justice , making tens of millions from his resorts related to his presidency @ @ @ @ @ and harassing the press , approved of the idea .
`` We ca n't allow @ @ @ @ @ Venezuela , '' said one heavily-armed prospective poll watcher .
`` We are not racists @ @ @ @ @ people , with good judgement , so there wo n't be any trouble , as @ @ @ @ @ in line , '' he explained .

Washington - After President Trump suggested that armed guards might be needed at polling stations in the United States for the upcoming elections, Trump-supporting militias felt activated by the President to perform their patriotic duty and help in the effort to provide security for American voters.
The GOP, which has allowed Trump powers heretofore only reserved for dictators and crime bosses, including obstructing justice, making tens of millions from his resorts related to his presidency, retaliating against whistle blowers and harassing the press, approved of the idea.
"We can't allow our country to turn into Venezuela," said one heavily-armed prospective poll watcher. "We are not racists, just good patriotic family people, with good judgement, so there won't be any trouble, as long as libtard voters stay in line," he explained.


thespoof--2020-10-12--Melania Trump Says She is Having To Sleep in Son Barron’s Bedroom Because of Her Husband’s Out-of-Co

Melania Trump Says She is Having To Sleep in Son Barron’s Bedroom Because of Her Husband’s Out-of-Control Coughing

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – One of the White House maids told CNN that the First @ @ @ @ @ in son Barron ’ s bedroom because the President can not stop coughing .
Melania @ @ @ @ @ , it was just like a little 8-year-old girl ’ s cough , but now @ @ @ @ @ off , like a 400-pound sumo wrestler .
The First Lady tried putting a wash @ @ @ @ @ but he almost swallowed it .
She remarked that if it hadn ’ t been @ @ @ @ @ was visiting the President , he may have found himself back at Walter Reed Hospital @ @ @ @ @ was a bit shocked and disgusted when Lindsey insisted on giving her husband mouth-to-mouth resuscitation @ @ @ @ @ the maid that she had always had a feeling that Lindsey may be one of @ @ @ @

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – One of the White House maids told CNN that the First Lady is having to sleep in son Barron’s bedroom because the President cannot stop coughing.
Melania said that, at first, it was just like a little 8-year-old girl’s cough, but now he is coughing his head off, like a 400-pound sumo wrestler.
The First Lady tried putting a wash cloth in his mouth, but he almost swallowed it.
She remarked that if it hadn’t been for Lindsey Graham, who was visiting the President, he may have found himself back at Walter Reed Hospital.
Melania said that she was a bit shocked and disgusted when Lindsey insisted on giving her husband mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
The First Lady told the maid that she had always had a feeling that Lindsey may be one of those side-saddle riders.


thespoof--2020-10-13--Confused Joe Biden Endorses Trump

Confused Joe Biden Endorses Trump

Democrat presidential nominee , Joe Biden , has bizarrely endorsed his Republican rival , Donald Trump , for president .
Campaigning in Toledo , Ohio , on Tuesday , Biden provided the President with more fodder as to his mental capacity to become president when he addressed United Auto Workers , who represent a local General Motors powertrain plant .
Biden spoke in a parking lot with about 30 American-made cars and trucks arrayed nearby .
'You know , we have to come together .
That 's why I 'm endorsing Donald Trump for president .
I 'm running as @ @ @ @ @ @ @ as VP and Donald as president ; we are the dream ticket .
So , I ask you all , vote , vote , vote !
Vote for Trump .
A vote for Trump is a vote for me , '' Biden said .
The former vice-president is actually running AGAINST Trump and not with him .
Biden appeared to make another gaffe on the tarmac , appearing to forget that he was n't wearing any trousers . '
I 'm wearing slacks , right ?
I put them on this morning , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Trump seized on Biden 's gaffes , tweeting : 'Biden NOT wearing pants ... AGAIN .
Bad for nation .
Thinks he 's running with me .
Forgot trousers , and what he is running for ! '

Democrat presidential nominee, Joe Biden, has bizarrely endorsed his Republican rival, Donald Trump, for president.
Campaigning in Toledo, Ohio, on Tuesday, Biden provided the President with more fodder as to his mental capacity to become president when he addressed United Auto Workers, who represent a local General Motors powertrain plant.
Biden spoke in a parking lot with about 30 American-made cars and trucks arrayed nearby.
'You know, we have to come together. That's why I'm endorsing Donald Trump for president. I'm running as a proud Democrat for vice-president, me as VP and Donald as president; we are the dream ticket. So, I ask you all, vote, vote, vote! Vote for Trump. A vote for Trump is a vote for me," Biden said.
The former vice-president is actually running AGAINST Trump and not with him.
Biden appeared to make another gaffe on the tarmac, appearing to forget that he wasn't wearing any trousers.
'I'm wearing slacks, right? I put them on this morning, didn't I?' he said.
Trump seized on Biden's gaffes, tweeting: 'Biden NOT wearing pants...AGAIN. Bad for nation. Thinks he's running with me. Forgot trousers, and what he is running for!'
Joe Biden is 97.


thespoof--2020-10-13--Coming Soon To a Town Near You – President Trump’s Coronavirus-Spreading Campaign Hate Rally

MOSQUITO RIVER , Florida – ( Satire News ) – The Tampa Bay Bugle Bulletin is reporting that El Presidente Trumpo ’ s Coronavirus-infested campaign hate rallies will be continuing as scheduled , no matter what .
Yes , Captain Coronapalooza and the Trumpapalooza Flying Circus will be setting up their tent in Mosquito River , Florida , home of the largest mosquito infestation east of the Mississippi River .
The mayor , the sheriff , and the coroner have said that his traveling band of GOPers are going to spread their Republican disease to innocent citizens of the town @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Margaritas , and for being the official home of shelter crocodiles .
Trump 's chief adviser , Ivanka Trump , commented that people have to stop spending so much time and energy worrying about the Coronavirus .
Ivy , as Howard Stern calls her , said that she kisses her daddy full on the lips on a daily basis , and she is as fine as Napa Valley Wine .
She went on to say that it is very , very rare that Republican people come down with COVID-19 .
Jared 's wife @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Trumptards are more likely to come down with strep throat from all the ass-kissing that goes on within their ranks .

MOSQUITO RIVER, Florida – (Satire News) – The Tampa Bay Bugle Bulletin is reporting that El Presidente Trumpo’s Coronavirus-infested campaign hate rallies will be continuing as scheduled, no matter what.
Yes, Captain Coronapalooza and the Trumpapalooza Flying Circus will be setting up their tent in Mosquito River, Florida, home of the largest mosquito infestation east of the Mississippi River.
The mayor, the sheriff, and the coroner have said that his traveling band of GOPers are going to spread their Republican disease to innocent citizens of the town that is known for its amazing Papaya Margaritas, and for being the official home of shelter crocodiles.
Trump's chief adviser, Ivanka Trump, commented that people have to stop spending so much time and energy worrying about the Coronavirus.
Ivy, as Howard Stern calls her, said that she kisses her daddy full on the lips on a daily basis, and she is as fine as Napa Valley Wine.
She went on to say that it is very, very rare that Republican people come down with COVID-19.
Jared's wife paused and actually admitted that the devoted Trumptards are more likely to come down with strep throat from all the ass-kissing that goes on within their ranks.


thespoof--2020-10-13--Portland Protesters Tear Down Statues of Thomas Jefferson, Paul Revere, and Sacajawea

PORTLAND , Oregon – ( Satire News ) – A group of protesters calling themselves the Anti-Trump Soldiers of Saturn @ @ @ @ @ downtown Portland .
The Portland Police Department reported that the group of angry individuals toppled @ @ @ @ @ Jefferson , Paul “ The British Are Coming ” Revere , and the guide/girlfriend of @ @ @ @ @ Sacajawea .
The crowd said that they hated Jefferson because he owned 602 slaves , @ @ @ @ @ .
They added that they demand that the U.S. nickel with his likeness be banned @ @ @ @ @ destroyed the statue of Paul Revere because of his anti-abortion stance .
One of the @ @ @ @ @ , sheepishly said they did not really mean to destroy the statue of the Inidian @ @ @ @ @ was involved in a menage-a-trois with Lewis & Clark .
Sycamorelly explained that they mistakenly @ @ @ @ @ of the extremely hateful Fox News host judge , Jeanine Pirro .

PORTLAND, Oregon – (Satire News) – A group of protesters calling themselves the Anti-Trump Soldiers of Saturn have destroyed several statues in downtown Portland.
The Portland Police Department reported that the group of angry individuals toppled over statues of President Thomas Jefferson, Paul “The British Are Coming” Revere, and the guide/girlfriend of explorers Lewis & Clark, Sacajawea.
The crowd said that they hated Jefferson because he owned 602 slaves, and he hated slave music. They added that they demand that the U.S. nickel with his likeness be banned.
They noted that they destroyed the statue of Paul Revere because of his anti-abortion stance.
One of the protest organizers, Yusef Sycamorelly, sheepishly said they did not really mean to destroy the statue of the Inidian maiden Sacajawea, who allegedly was involved in a menage-a-trois with Lewis & Clark.
Sycamorelly explained that they mistakenly thought it was a statue of the extremely hateful Fox News host judge, Jeanine Pirro.


thespoof--2020-10-13--A Louisiana Town Has Been Wiped Off The Map By Two Back-to-Back Hurricanes

CAJUN WOMAN , Louisiana – ( Satire News ) – Hurricane Laura knocked the hell out of the town of Cajun Woman , and brought her to her knees .
And then Hurricane Delta hit her , and totally wiped the little sardine-fishing village totally off the map .
Cajun Woman is noted for being the birthplace of GOPers Devin Nunez , Matt Gaetz , and Hernando Hernandez .
Sheriff Lazlo Moceefus , said that the only thing left in the town of 900 was a track and field shot putt that was found where the town ’ s high @ @ @ @ @ @ @ D ’ s golden arches ended up 17 miles from the restaurant , and amazingly they are in fairly good condition , except for a scratch the size of an elephant ovary .
The sheriff said that most of the town ’ s inhabitants evacuated to the nearby towns , Lolita River and Bradshaw Bayou .
The town ’ s mayor texted President Trump asking for some much-needed hurricane relief money .
Trump texted the mayor and told him he won ’ t be getting a dime , since he was told by @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Hillary Clinton in 2016 .

CAJUN WOMAN, Louisiana – (Satire News) – Hurricane Laura knocked the hell out of the town of Cajun Woman, and brought her to her knees.
And then Hurricane Delta hit her, and totally wiped the little sardine-fishing village totally off the map.
Cajun Woman is noted for being the birthplace of GOPers Devin Nunez, Matt Gaetz, and Hernando Hernandez.
Sheriff Lazlo Moceefus, said that the only thing left in the town of 900 was a track and field shot putt that was found where the town’s high school used to be.
The Mickey D’s golden arches ended up 17 miles from the restaurant, and amazingly they are in fairly good condition, except for a scratch the size of an elephant ovary.
The sheriff said that most of the town’s inhabitants evacuated to the nearby towns, Lolita River and Bradshaw Bayou.
The town’s mayor texted President Trump asking for some much-needed hurricane relief money.
Trump texted the mayor and told him he won’t be getting a dime, since he was told by Hope Hicks that Cajun Woman voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016.


thespoof--2020-10-14--Trump Loans Fed Chief Powell Some of his Steroids; He Immediately Sends Another $10 Trillion to Wall

Trump Loans Fed Chief Powell Some of his Steroids; He Immediately Sends Another $10 Trillion to Wall Street

Wall Street , New York - President Donald Trump , currently on tour throughout the United States after beating COVID-19 said he felt `` so powerful '' on Monday , in Florida .
Trump was given steroids to treat his COVID-19 by doctors at Walter Reed Hospital .
Trump decided that Fed Chief Powell was not creating free money for Wall Street fast enough , however , so , before he left Washington D.C. , he met with the Federal Reserve Chairman and gave him some of the steroids , and told him to do more to deal with the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Fed Chief told associates he also felt `` very powerful '' , and moved to create another 10 trillion dollars of instant money which the Central Bank , through its regular operations , moved to the balance sheets of Wall Street banks .
The banks immediately loaned the money , which they can borrow currently at almost zero percent , to cash-strapped consumers , small businesses and others at 5 % rates and higher , so they could , in turn , buy goods and services at much higher prices than when the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ has enriched Wall Street and wealthy stockholders at the expense of everyone else , is called Trickle Down .
It was also used in 2008 , when bankers were bonused huge sums so they could fix the financial crisis they had created .
Trump , pleased that Wall Street and his wealthy friends would continue to see their net worth rise , then turned to his primary duties of watching Fox News , Tweeting , playing golf and speaking at COVID-19 superspreader rallies .

Wall Street, New York - President Donald Trump, currently on tour throughout the United States after beating COVID-19 said he felt "so powerful" on Monday, in Florida. Trump was given steroids to treat his COVID-19 by doctors at Walter Reed Hospital.
Trump decided that Fed Chief Powell was not creating free money for Wall Street fast enough, however, so, before he left Washington D.C., he met with the Federal Reserve Chairman and gave him some of the steroids, and told him to do more to deal with the pandemic.
The next morning, the Fed Chief told associates he also felt "very powerful", and moved to create another 10 trillion dollars of instant money which the Central Bank, through its regular operations, moved to the balance sheets of Wall Street banks. The banks immediately loaned the money, which they can borrow currently at almost zero percent, to cash-strapped consumers, small businesses and others at 5% rates and higher, so they could, in turn, buy goods and services at much higher prices than when the pandemic began. This method, which has enriched Wall Street and wealthy stockholders at the expense of everyone else, is called Trickle Down. It was also used in 2008, when bankers were bonused huge sums so they could fix the financial crisis they had created.
Trump, pleased that Wall Street and his wealthy friends would continue to see their net worth rise, then turned to his primary duties of watching Fox News, Tweeting, playing golf and speaking at COVID-19 superspreader rallies.


thespoof--2020-10-14--The Pied Piper of The Potomac is Going to Lead All of His Trumptards Into The Coronavirus River

OUAKER OATS , Pennsylvania – ( Satire News ) – The iRumors News Agency is saying that ever since Trump @ @ @ @ @ ’ s orders , and is now going back to not wearing his mask , @ @ @ @ @ starting to abandon him .
Delta Apricotti , a Philadelphia native , said that , @ @ @ @ @ would have taken a pie in her face for the man she said was more @ @ @ @ @ but now she says if Sasquatch eats him , she ’ ll settle for President @ @ @ @ @ those at Fox News are starting to feel that the Pied Piper of The Potomac @ @ @ @ @ flock of sheep supporters into the Coronavirus River .
Many of his campaign staff members @ @ @ @ @ like Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Bryce Harper catches flyballs .
Meanwhile , the First Lady , @ @ @ @ @ her pedicurist , that , after the President loses the election on November 3 , @ @ @ @ @ Barron and escaping to New York City .

OUAKER OATS, Pennsylvania – (Satire News) – The iRumors News Agency is saying that ever since Trump left the hospital against doctor’s orders, and is now going back to not wearing his mask, lots of his supporters are starting to abandon him.
Delta Apricotti, a Philadelphia native, said that, at one time, she would have taken a pie in her face for the man she said was more handsome than George Clooney, but now she says if Sasquatch eats him, she’ll settle for President Pence.
Pundits, including those at Fox News are starting to feel that the Pied Piper of The Potomac is going to lead his flock of sheep supporters into the Coronavirus River.
Many of his campaign staff members are catching the Trumpapalooza virus like Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Bryce Harper catches flyballs.
Meanwhile, the First Lady, Melania, has confided to her pedicurist, that, after the President loses the election on November 3, she is taking their son Barron and escaping to New York City.


thespoof--2020-10-14--President Trump Says He is Changing The Name of The White House

WASHINGTON , D.C. – ( Satire News ) – President Trump called in to Tucker Carlson at Fox News and @ @ @ @ @ decided to change the name of the White House .
Tucker started smiling like a @ @ @ @ @ seen his first pair of Playboy Magazine tits .
He asked what the new name @ @ @ @ @ Trump said that he wants to honor his base and his trillions of supporters , @ @ @ @ @ rename the White House , The White Folks House .
Carlson grinned like the woodpecker @ @ @ @ @ , and replied , `` that is one of the most fantastic ideas in the @ @ @ @ @ '' POTUS said that McConnell , Graham , Dobbs , Giuliani , Hannity , and @ @ @ @ @ loved the idea , Secretary of HUD ( and black guy ) Ben Carson , @ @ @ @

WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – President Trump called in to Tucker Carlson at Fox News and told him that he has decided to change the name of the White House.
Tucker started smiling like a 14-year-old boy who has just seen his first pair of Playboy Magazine tits.
He asked what the new name was going to be.
Trump said that he wants to honor his base and his trillions of supporters, so he is going to rename the White House, The White Folks House.
Carlson grinned like the woodpecker that ate the carpenter ant, and replied, "that is one of the most fantastic ideas in the history of fantastic ideas."
POTUS said that McConnell, Graham, Dobbs, Giuliani, Hannity, and (David) Duke all loved the idea, Secretary of HUD (and black guy) Ben Carson, not so much.


thespoof--2020-10-14--Trump's Post-Election Civil War Contingency Plan

Bellevue , Nebraska .
U S A .
A SINful Woof Blister reporting for Spoof International News .
Exclusive to The Spoof .
Our annual visit to USSTRATCOM , the U.S. Strategic Command located at Offutt Air Force base near Bellevue , Nebraska , revealed just how far President Donald Trump has gone in preparing for the possibility of a Second American Civil War , following the rigged results of the upcoming presidential election .
The nuclear weapons stationed here play a major role in his plan .
The plan went into action when Trump quietly placed pro-Trump generals and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ branches .
In addition , he personally selected a Trump general to head STRATCOM from its headquarters at Offutt , Accompanying that , insiders tell The Spoof that secret GPS calculations have now placed the San Francisco , Oakland , and Los Angeles as destination points for nukes that are normally aimed at Moscow , Peiping and Pyongyang .
I would reveal more of the actions aimed at anti-Trump sections of the country , such as the increased production of lethal nerve gas , which has been secretly stockpiled in California , New @ @ @ @ @ @ @ C. It was Trump who denounced Syrian leader Assad for using deadly gas against his own people .
In the present situation , however , Trump does not consider Californians and New Yorkers to be `` his own people '' .
Since any news report filed from Offutt is carefully scrutinized by STRATCOM , I will be sending this out by passenger pigeon to our Spoof office in nearby Omaha .
I am leaving here instantly .

Bellevue, Nebraska. U S A. A SINful Woof Blister reporting for Spoof International News. Exclusive to The Spoof.
Our annual visit to USSTRATCOM, the U.S. Strategic Command located at Offutt Air Force base near Bellevue, Nebraska, revealed just how far President Donald Trump has gone in preparing for the possibility of a Second American Civil War, following the rigged results of the upcoming presidential election.
The nuclear weapons stationed here play a major role in his plan.
The plan went into action when Trump quietly placed pro-Trump generals and admirals as heads of their respective military branches. In addition, he personally selected a Trump general to head STRATCOM from its headquarters at Offutt, Accompanying that, insiders tell The Spoof that secret GPS calculations have now placed the San Francisco, Oakland, and Los Angeles as destination points for nukes that are normally aimed at Moscow, Peiping and Pyongyang.
I would reveal more of the actions aimed at anti-Trump sections of the country, such as the increased production of lethal nerve gas, which has been secretly stockpiled in California, New York, and even Washington, D. C. It was Trump who denounced Syrian leader Assad for using deadly gas against his own people. In the present situation, however, Trump does not consider Californians and New Yorkers to be "his own people".
Since any news report filed from Offutt is carefully scrutinized by STRATCOM, I will be sending this out by passenger pigeon to our Spoof office in nearby Omaha. I am leaving here instantly.


thespoof--2020-10-13--Rodents R’ Us: A Sleepy Joe Exclusive By Dirty Trick Detwiler

BILLINGSGATE POST : Outlined against a somber blue-grey October sky in Washington , President Trump brings back images of Pestilence as he plots the extermination of the rodent-like Sleepy Joe as the time of the final debate draws near .
As part of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse , Pestilence rode with Famine , Destruction and Death in the biblical charge to wipe out earlier epochal versions of tyrannical liberal hypocrisy .
Time will tell whether this latest variant will be defeated .
On October 22 , President Trump will debate the bobble-headed masked rodent in an anticipated free-for-all @ @ @ @ @ @ @ on the edges of their seats .
Crack BILLINGSGATE investigator , Detrick `` Dirty Trick '' Detwiler has been following the flow of this predictable one round TKO .
While using a combination of computer algorithms and human intelligence , Detwiler has been sifting this mass of information to discern the `` tonalities '' that have been shaping election modalities as November 3 draws near .
This approach by Dirty Trick has put him at the forefront in identifying key political trends weeks before those changes appear in traditional forums .
In a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of Dirty Trick by a pencil-neck geek poisoned by a dope-addled mind , that Trump , who claims to have never met a rodent he liked , sought advice from the voluble Carl Spackler , of Caddyshack fame , as to how to avoid the same mistakes Spackler made in his epic battle with a recalitrant groundhog .
Spackler , hardly a neo-con , but nevertheless , an advocate of law and order , suggested , upon the advice of Judge Smails , that the President remain unflappable and not underestimate the determination @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the varmint sets his mind to destroying the American way of life .
Dirty Trick Detwiler , no newcomer to this type of campaign , will carefully couch his language as he disassembles nuances from the usual nonsense promulgated by Sleepy Joe .
Slim : “ If this doesn ’ t win you the Pulitzer Prize , then Pulitzer is a jerk.
” Dirty : “ Yo , Dude .
It ’ s not like you to stand behind me .
Do so at your own risk .
”

BILLINGSGATE POST: Outlined against a somber blue-grey October sky in Washington, President Trump brings back images of Pestilence as he plots the extermination of the rodent-like Sleepy Joe as the time of the final debate draws near.
As part of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Pestilence rode with Famine, Destruction and Death in the biblical charge to wipe out earlier epochal versions of tyrannical liberal hypocrisy. Time will tell whether this latest variant will be defeated.
On October 22, President Trump will debate the bobble-headed masked rodent in an anticipated free-for-all that has the Nation’s voters on the edges of their seats. Crack BILLINGSGATE investigator, Detrick "Dirty Trick" Detwiler has been following the flow of this predictable one round TKO.
While using a combination of computer algorithms and human intelligence, Detwiler has been sifting this mass of information to discern the "tonalities" that have been shaping election modalities as November 3 draws near. This approach by Dirty Trick has put him at the forefront in identifying key political trends weeks before those changes appear in traditional forums.
In a carefully edited exclusive filched from the desk of Dirty Trick by a pencil-neck geek poisoned by a dope-addled mind, that Trump, who claims to have never met a rodent he liked, sought advice from the voluble Carl Spackler, of Caddyshack fame, as to how to avoid the same mistakes Spackler made in his epic battle with a recalitrant groundhog.
Spackler, hardly a neo-con, but nevertheless, an advocate of law and order, suggested, upon the advice of Judge Smails, that the President remain unflappable and not underestimate the determination of a litigious rodent, especially when the varmint sets his mind to destroying the American way of life.
Dirty Trick Detwiler, no newcomer to this type of campaign, will carefully couch his language as he disassembles nuances from the usual nonsense promulgated by Sleepy Joe.
Slim: “If this doesn’t win you the Pulitzer Prize, then Pulitzer is a jerk.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dude. It’s not like you to stand behind me. Do so at your own risk.”


Donald Trump Arrested

What ?
Donald Trump was arrested ?
For which crime ?
Abuse of power ?
Being a COVID-19 Super-spreader ?
Inciting a militia to take over a state and assassinate the governor ?
Conspiring with an adversary - Russia ?
Assaulting women on planes , trains , and in dressing rooms ?
Delinquent on alimony payments ?
Tax fraud ?
Money laundering ?
Disrespecting the Queen of England ?
Slandering foreign nations by calling them Shit-Holes .
Disparaging women with gangster talk ?
Abusing the emolument clause ?
Alright already !
He ’ ll be arraigned tomorrow at the United @ @ @ @ @ @ @ The specifics will be in a printout .
He couldn ’ t post bail .
No dough .
The family is broke .
Again .
They even use Air Force One to go to the dentist .
So he poses a flight risk , and he ’ s sleeping in the slammer .
He ’ ll be wearing an orange jumpsuit and a ponytail in court tomorrow .
No make-up .
And he can say so-long to his gold toilet .
He ’ ll be using the crapper .
Reporters questioned whether he @ @ @ @ @ @ @ It was revealed that he was driving in a motorcade , and a police officer on a two-wheeler flagged the car down and pulled him over .
One of the tail lights of his car was out , and the police officer was going to let them know .
Evidently , Trump , quick as a chipmunk , rolled down the window and reached out with a $ 75 bill in his hand , saying he was late for a rally .
The police officer certainly wasn ’ t going to be accused @ @ @ @ @ @ @ called it in .
The paddy wagon arrived , and Trump was arrested on a bribery charge , and trying to pass a counterfeit $ 75 bill .
“ Didn ’ t know there was a $ 75 bill.
” “ There isn ’ t .
The ink was still wet.
” To the first paragraph at the top of this page , add bribery , counterfeit , and driving with a busted tail light .
Read more by this author : • Buy A Very British Lesson by K.C .
Bell , @ @

What? Donald Trump was arrested? For which crime? Abuse of power? Being a COVID-19 Super-spreader? Inciting a militia to take over a state and assassinate the governor? Conspiring with an adversary - Russia? Assaulting women on planes, trains, and in dressing rooms? Delinquent on alimony payments? Tax fraud? Money laundering? Disrespecting the Queen of England? Slandering foreign nations by calling them Shit-Holes. Disparaging women with gangster talk? Abusing the emolument clause?
Alright already! He’ll be arraigned tomorrow at the United States Southern District of New York. The specifics will be in a printout. He couldn’t post bail. No dough. The family is broke. Again. They even use Air Force One to go to the dentist. So he poses a flight risk, and he’s sleeping in the slammer. He’ll be wearing an orange jumpsuit and a ponytail in court tomorrow. No make-up. And he can say so-long to his gold toilet. He’ll be using the crapper.
Reporters questioned whether he was arrested at the White House.
It was revealed that he was driving in a motorcade, and a police officer on a two-wheeler flagged the car down and pulled him over. One of the tail lights of his car was out, and the police officer was going to let them know.
Evidently, Trump, quick as a chipmunk, rolled down the window and reached out with a $75 bill in his hand, saying he was late for a rally.
The police officer certainly wasn’t going to be accused of taking a bribe. So he called it in. The paddy wagon arrived, and Trump was arrested on a bribery charge, and trying to pass a counterfeit $75 bill.
“Didn’t know there was a $75 bill.”
“There isn’t. The ink was still wet.”
To the first paragraph at the top of this page, add bribery, counterfeit, and driving with a busted tail light.
Read more by this author:


thespoof--2020-10-14--Donald Trump's pumpkin is not doing so well

Donald Trump 's pumpkin , Snoofkins , which he has been growing in the White House garden , is said @ @ @ @ @ neglect and a lack of care .
Snoofkins , which has been steadily growing for @ @ @ @ @ a mouth and a giant hole will be carved into him , before his innards @ @ @ @ @ be replaced by a candle , is said to be small in stature , an @ @ @ @ @ hair , and has been picked out by God himself for some special duty .
@ @ @ @ @ : ' I have the best things .
The best words , the best wives @ @ @ @ @ and the best pumpkin .
It is fake news , put about by the losers @ @ @ @ @ Snoofkins is not living up to his full potential . '

Donald Trump's pumpkin, Snoofkins, which he has been growing in the White House garden, is said to be suffering due to neglect and a lack of care.
Snoofkins, which has been steadily growing for Halloween, when eyes, a mouth and a giant hole will be carved into him, before his innards are painfully removed, to be replaced by a candle, is said to be small in stature, an unnatural orange, with wispy hair, and has been picked out by God himself for some special duty.
Trump said in a Tweet: 'I have the best things. The best words, the best wives, the best children, and the best pumpkin. It is fake news, put about by the losers at the Spoof that my Snoofkins is not living up to his full potential.'


thespoof--2020-10-15--GOP: Barrett Will be Really Fair and Impartial As She Eliminates Health Care, Women's Choice and Bid

GOP: Barrett Will be Really Fair and Impartial As She Eliminates Health Care, Women's Choice and Biden Victory

Washington - At the Senate Confirmation hearings for Amy Coney Barrett , Senate Republicans on the Judicial Committee praised the @ @ @ @ @ she indicated that she would be a totally fair judge who would apply the law @ @ @ @ @ own beliefs .
Every judge that has been appointed to the court in recent memory @ @ @ @ @ statement .
However , also in about every decision by the high court in recent @ @ @ @ @ along predictable political lines .
`` I ca n't discuss how I would vote on @ @ @ @ @ said the judge .
`` But I will be totally fair and impartial , just @ @ @ @ @ judges '' said Barrett .
The completely independent , middle of the road jurist was @ @ @ @ @ by the Party of Trump right before the election because she is so impartial .

Washington - At the Senate Confirmation hearings for Amy Coney Barrett, Senate Republicans on the Judicial Committee praised the prospective Supreme Court judge after she indicated that she would be a totally fair judge who would apply the law without any regard to her own beliefs.
Every judge that has been appointed to the court in recent memory has also made the same statement. However, also in about every decision by the high court in recent memory, the court split along predictable political lines.
"I can't discuss how I would vote on specific issues of course" said the judge. "But I will be totally fair and impartial, just like all of the current judges" said Barrett.
The completely independent, middle of the road jurist was rushed through the appointment process by the Party of Trump right before the election because she is so impartial.