id: realnewsrightnow--2020-03-25--Congress Considers Repealing 13th Amendment to Help Stimulate US Economy

source: realnewsrightnow

content:
WASHINGTON , D.C. – In a last ditch effort to save an ailing economy ravaged by unemployed American workers and undocumented immigrants , congressional leaders from both sides of the aisle came together on Wednesday in an emergency bid to address a growing crisis which lawmakers are calling the “ unemployment question.
” “ Up until a few days ago the economy was doing extremely well under President Trump ’ s leadership , ” Senator Richard Burr ( R-NC ) told The National Review .
“ It ’ s high time congress considers applying nineteenth-century solutions to twenty-first century problems.
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ in a hotel company in order to invest in a thousand-acre North Carolina tobacco farm , introduced legislation aimed at repealing the Thirteenth Amendment as part of a legislative ‘ Hail Mary ’ meant to prevent the nation from “ plunging headfirst into an economic abyss.
” “ We have constituents who aren ’ t going to work because of some CIA-made Chinese bat flu and the result is the economy is crumbling right before our very eyes , ” Senator Rand Paul ( R-Ky ) told Real News Right Now ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
When pressed on the issue , Senator Paul reluctantly admitted that despite testing positive for COVID-19 , his decision to remain in Washington was largely due to an “ overwhelming desire ” to avoid his next door neighbor .
At the very least , Senator Rand Paul hopes Democrats will agree to a proposed constitutional amendment allowing the federal government to enact a nationwide feudal labor system in times of national crisis .
An aspiring tobacco planter , Senator Paul said he recently joined forces with Senator Richard Burr ( R-N.C. ) @ @ @ @ @ @ @ about some choice real estate ” from fellow Carolina senator Lindsey Graham .
A self-proclaimed Trump enthusiast and collector of Trump memorabilia , Graham offered to lease the senators five thousand able-bodied men and women for “ pennies on the dollar.
” Meanwhile , Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell ( R-Ky ) argued corporations are bearing the brunt of the coronavirus pandemic ’ s economic fallout .
“ An unfortunate consequence of the labor movement is that we now have a class of citizens in this country who would rather stay home and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ duty to uphold the United States economy , ” Senator McConnell told Fox News anchor Sean Hannity on Tuesday .
“ It makes me sick to my stomach , Senator , ” Mr. Hannity declared before spitting on the floor in disgust .
“ Now listen here , Sean , ” Senator McConnell said , placing a comforting hand on the shoulder of the most-watched cable news personality in modern television history .
“ We had quite possibly the greatest economic prosperity this country has seen since the period leading up to the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ nodded silently before wiping the sweat from his brow and staring directly into the camera .
During Tuesday ’ s installment of the White House Coronavirus Task Force briefing , President Donald J. Trump described the US economy as a “ financial baby Jesus ” which only he can resurrect .
The president told the American people he plans to “ perform a brilliant resurrection ” on Easter Sunday during a nationally televised ceremony on the White House lawn .
Before turning questions over to Vice President Mike Pence , Mr. Trump announced @ @ @ @ @ @ @ s White House Easter Egg Roll , he has ordered the Pentagon to send a squadron of F-35 Joint Strike Fighters to strafe ten “ totally random ” neighborhoods in the Washington , D.C. Metropolitan area with tens of thousands of candy-filled “ Easter Egg bomblets .
”

author: R. Hobbus J.D.

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id: realnewsrightnow--2020-05-14--Experts Say Millennials Are Inhaling Too Much Oxygen

content:
CAMBRIDGE , Ma .
– While Millennials account for just twenty-two percent of the U.S. population , researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology say that in the age of COVID-19 , Millennials are consuming far more oxygen than the earth is capable of producing .
“ Current trends show Millennials are on track to inhale upwards of twenty-five tons of oxygen per year -more than twice the global average , ” explained Dr. Ross E. Geller , the study ’ s chief researcher .
Geller , who holds a PhD in paleontology from Columbia University , warned that oxygen @ @ @ @ @ @ @ risen by more than 700 % since February .
Due to social distancing guidelines and stay-at-home orders , Millennials -often referred to as the Privileged Generation- are leaving their apartments in droves , gallivanting through otherwise deserted streets and neighborhoods , and assembling in parks and other public spaces for the purpose of exercising , socializing , and other “ extracurricular ” activities such as vaping and dog walking .
“ Our planet only produces so much oxygen per year , ” said Dr. Gordon Freeman , an MIT alumni and researcher who @ @ @ @ @ @ @ “ Millennials nowadays have so much free time on their hands due to COVID- “ 19 , and , as we ’ re seeing , the vast majority of the ‘ elitist generation ’ insist on being outdoors where they ’ re sucking up sixty to seventy percent of the world ’ s oxygen supply.
” As scientists race to find a solution to the Millennial question , experts say older generations may soon find themselves short on oxygen .
“ Those in the greater and greatest generations could be inhaling close to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of the year , ” Dr. Geller predicted .
However , younger generations such as Z and Alpha are known to have much smaller lungs than full grown adults and therefore require very little , if any , oxygen to survive .