buzzfeednews--2020-04-24--US Citizens Trying To Get Their Parents Green Cards Feel Hopeless After Trump's Latest Immigration B

US Citizens Trying To Get Their Parents Green Cards Feel Hopeless After Trump's Latest Immigration Ban

`` I feel so desperate and hopeless now .
I just want my parents here with me . ''
Ana took a break from her warehouse job , which has been focused on getting gloves , sanitizer , and cleaning supplies to hospitals because of the coronavirus pandemic , to read the latest on Trump 's order suspending immigration to the US .
The 27-year-old was immediately flooded with feelings of sadness , anger , and most of all , hopelessness .
For the next 60 days , people like her parents , whom she had been trying to get @ @ @ @ @ @ @ obtaining green cards .
Ana declined to use her full name out of fear that she could endanger their application .
The order Trump signed on Wednesday does n't have much of an impact at the moment because the State Department has already suspended routine visa services at embassies and consulates across the world due to the coronavirus pandemic .
The fear among people like Ana is that the proclamation will be extended even after the State Department starts processing visa services and her parents will be left behind .
`` It 's @ @ @ @ @ @ @ spent , but the time you have to wait and there are others who have waited longer than us , '' Ana told BuzzFeed News .
`` I feel so desperate and hopeless now .
I just want my parents here with me . ''
Ana , a US-born citizen who grew up in the Mexican border city of Nuevo Laredo while waking up at 5 a.m. to go to school in the United States , moved to Houston five years ago so her children would n't have to go through the same @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ' green cards in 2017 .
In addition to wanting her parents near her , Ana was concerned about the violence in Nuevo Laredo where her parents live , particularly the gunfights between cartels and Mexican authorities .
About a month ago , bullets struck the outside of her parents ’ home .
For 60 days , Trump 's proclamation suspends access to green cards for family members of permanent residents who are outside of the United States , parents and siblings of US citizens abroad , and thousands of people who come @ @ @ @ @ @ @ diversity visa lottery system .
The order , which may also be extended , does n't affect people coming to the country temporarily or to minor children or spouses of citizens who are outside of the US and applying for green cards .
Nor does it apply to those who had the visas before Wednesday .
The policy also carved out exceptions for some specialized workers , like nurses or doctors , as well as foreign investors who spend money in the US and apply for green cards .
As the news of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ in the US and abroad wondered if they would be affected .
Mana Yegani , an immigration attorney in Houston , said she spent Wednesday telling green card applicants in the US that they would not have to leave the country .
She played the role of a counselor , not just a lawyer , to calm people ’ s nerves , she added .
“ Clients are worried .
They call and want answers .
The amount of strength it takes for me to calm their nerves is a lot just because @ @ @ @ @ @ @ will do in 30 days , ” she said .
“ Section 6 of the [ executive order ] keeps matters open-ended that more changes and suspensions are forthcoming .
It 's truly stressful .
Very hard to explain the huge amount of stress and anxiety.
” Still , Yegani noted that her clients ’ “ love ” of the American dream has not faded .
“ They have faith in the American dream .
I have several clients who are American citizens who have filed for green cards for their parents .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ , which the government encourages everyone to do.
” Charles Kuck , an immigration attorney in Atlanta , said he heard from those in the corporate world immediately .
“ A wide variety of clients , from senior HR directors of multinational companies , to US citizens with applications pending for their parents , to humble people asking if their case asking for a victim of crime visa , are all asking the same question — how does this proclamation impact me and my employees ?
” Kuck said .
“ The biggest @ @ @ @ @ @ @ lawyer , is to help people to understand that every case is different in how it is affected , and to walk that person through their concern .
And , occasionally answer the existential question — why would Trump do this now ?
” Maria , a 37-year-old US citizen living in Georgia , petitioned for her parents ’ green cards last year and was hoping they would be with her at the beginning of 2021 .
But that timeline has been put on hold following the proclamation .
Maria , who declined @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that speaking about the green card applications will affect their chances of coming to the US , said it 's particularly hard because of the instability in Venezuela where her parents live .
The country 's economic crisis has resulted in shortages of food , water , and basic medical supplies that 's also led to violent protests — a situation made worse by the coronavirus pandemic .
`` Everything there is fragile ...
I worry that something is going to happen and we 'll never see them again , '' Maria told @ @ @ @ @ @ @ so unstable , not only with the virus , but the entire situation in Venezuela . ''
When Trump tweeted Monday night that he was going to ban immigration to the US in response to COVID-19 , Maria and her sister , who is also in the United States , waited to tell their parents , who are retired .
When the sisters eventually told them , their parents said they would all have to be patient and ride it out .
Maria , an executive at a software company , hopes the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ parents ’ application can move forward , though she worries the proclamation will be extended for an indefinite amount of time .
`` I wish we had more clarity , even if we were told it was going to take X number of days , months , or even years , '' Maria said .
`` Not knowing what 's coming is the hardest part . ''

Ana took a break from her warehouse job, which has been focused on getting gloves, sanitizer, and cleaning supplies to hospitals because of the coronavirus pandemic, to read the latest on Trump's order suspending immigration to the US.
The 27-year-old was immediately flooded with feelings of sadness, anger, and most of all, hopelessness. For the next 60 days, people like her parents, whom she had been trying to get visas for, would be banned from obtaining green cards. Ana declined to use her full name out of fear that she could endanger their application.
The order Trump signed on Wednesday doesn't have much of an impact at the moment because the State Department has already suspended routine visa services at embassies and consulates across the world due to the coronavirus pandemic. The fear among people like Ana is that the proclamation will be extended even after the State Department starts processing visa services and her parents will be left behind.
"It's not so much the money we've spent, but the time you have to wait and there are others who have waited longer than us," Ana told BuzzFeed News. "I feel so desperate and hopeless now. I just want my parents here with me."
Ana, a US-born citizen who grew up in the Mexican border city of Nuevo Laredo while waking up at 5 a.m. to go to school in the United States, moved to Houston five years ago so her children wouldn't have to go through the same ordeal.
She applied for her parents' green cards in 2017. In addition to wanting her parents near her, Ana was concerned about the violence in Nuevo Laredo where her parents live, particularly the gunfights between cartels and Mexican authorities. About a month ago, bullets struck the outside of her parents’ home.


buzzfeednews--2020-05-05--Obama Privately Blasted A Republican Investigation Into Joe Biden And Ukraine, Calling It An Effort

Obama Privately Blasted A Republican Investigation Into Joe Biden And Ukraine, Calling It An Effort To Boost “Russian Disinformation”

However , Obama ultimately agreed that the records could be released “ in the interest of countering the misinformation campaign underlying this request , ” according to the letter , which was provided to BuzzFeed News by his office in response to questions about the records request .
Since mid-March , the National Archives has turned over around 9,400 pages of records to the Senate committees , according to an agency spokesperson .
The letter from Obama adds to Democratic criticism of the Senate probe as being a politically motivated effort to damage Biden ’ s presidential campaign against President @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Obama or his office has commented on the controversial investigation into his former vice president .
The November request for records came from Republican Sens .
Chuck Grassley and Ron Johnson , who have been investigating matters related to Democrats and Ukraine since the fall , when Trump was impeached for his interactions with Ukraine .
Grassley and Johnson , who chair the Finance and Homeland Security committees , respectively , asked the National Archives for records on meetings between the Obama administration and Ukrainian officials , as well meetings between Obama officials @ @ @ @ @ @ @ at the heart of the debunked Ukrainian election interference narrative .
“ It arises out of efforts by some , actively supported by Russia , to shift the blame for Russian interference in the 2016 election to Ukraine , ” said the letter , dated March 13 .
It pointed to comments made by Fiona Hill , a former senior National Security Council official in the Trump White House , during the impeachment investigation into the president , calling Ukrainian election meddling “ a fictional narrative that is being perpetrated and propagated by @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , Obama ’ s office told the National Archives and Records Administration — which maintains presidential records — that a request from two top Republican senators for Obama administration documents related to Ukraine was improper .
WASHINGTON — The office of former president Barack Obama privately blasted a congressional investigation into former vice president Joe Biden and his son , as well as alleged Ukrainian election interference , calling it an effort “ to give credence to a Russian disinformation campaign , ” according to a letter obtained by BuzzFeed News .
Under @ @ @ @ @ @ @ whose records are sought and the current president are allowed to review and claim executive privilege over records requests .
`` Since 2017 , the Office of President Obama has produced 12,880 pages of presidential records in response to special access requests from the White House and Congress , '' the letter said .
In this case , representatives for Obama and Trump reviewed the records , the National Archives said , and neither had asserted privilege .
`` The accusation that our oversight gives ‘ credence to a Russian disinformation campaign ’ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Altenburg said in a statement on Tuesday , adding that the `` real Russian disinformation '' was contained in a dossier on Trump and Russia compiled in 2016 by former MI6 agent Christopher Steele .
`` Baseless accusations aside , our legitimate oversight will continue until we get answers for the American people.
” It ’ s unclear what ’ s in the Obama administration records that the senators now possess , but Grassley and Johnson have said they want to know whether reports about Ukrainian officials working to undermine the Trump campaign @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Ukraine was affected in any way by Biden ’ s son , Hunter , serving on the board of a corrupt Ukrainian energy company .
The senators have insisted that the probe is not an effort to help the president get re-elected .
`` Our investigation is extensive and our request for President Obama ’ s records is only one of many lines of inquiry , '' Altenburg added .
A spokesperson for Grassley did not respond to a request for comment .
US intelligence officials reportedly told Congress in the fall that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ interference during the 2016 election on Ukraine .
The Senate Intelligence Committee , which has been investigating Russian interference for more than three years , inquired about the Ukrainian interference theory and came up short , Politico reported .
“ The request for early release of presidential records in order to give credence to a Russian disinformation campaign — one that has already been thoroughly investigated by a bipartisan congressional committee — is without precedent , ” said the letter , signed by Obama ’ s records representative .
“ This use of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ purpose , and does not outweigh or justify infringing confidentiality interests that all presidents have sought to protect.
” Despite allowing the records to be released , Obama ’ s office leveled a warning about Grassley and Johnson ’ s request , saying that “ abuse ” of the process by which Congress can access presidential records “ strikes at the heart of presidential confidentiality interests and undermines the statutory framework and norms that govern access to presidential records.
” Though Grassley has previously raised questions about Chalupa , a former Democratic National @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ramped up in the fall and has continued since then .
BuzzFeed News previously reported that the senators were expecting approximately 10,000 pages of records from the National Archives and thousands more from the State Department .
The investigation has been slowed by the coronavirus outbreak but not halted .
Last week , Grassley and Johnson penned a letter to the State Department asking for additional documents following an initial request for records in November .

WASHINGTON — The office of former president Barack Obama privately blasted a congressional investigation into former vice president Joe Biden and his son, as well as alleged Ukrainian election interference, calling it an effort “to give credence to a Russian disinformation campaign,” according to a letter obtained by BuzzFeed News.
In March, Obama’s office told the National Archives and Records Administration — which maintains presidential records — that a request from two top Republican senators for Obama administration documents related to Ukraine was improper.
“It arises out of efforts by some, actively supported by Russia, to shift the blame for Russian interference in the 2016 election to Ukraine,” said the letter, dated March 13. It pointed to comments made by Fiona Hill, a former senior National Security Council official in the Trump White House, during the impeachment investigation into the president, calling Ukrainian election meddling “a fictional narrative that is being perpetrated and propagated by the Russian security services.”
The November request for records came from Republican Sens. Chuck Grassley and Ron Johnson, who have been investigating matters related to Democrats and Ukraine since the fall, when Trump was impeached for his interactions with Ukraine. Grassley and Johnson, who chair the Finance and Homeland Security committees, respectively, asked the National Archives for records on meetings between the Obama administration and Ukrainian officials, as well meetings between Obama officials and Alexandra Chalupa, the Democratic operative at the heart of the debunked Ukrainian election interference narrative.
The letter from Obama adds to Democratic criticism of the Senate probe as being a politically motivated effort to damage Biden’s presidential campaign against President Donald Trump and represents the first time Obama or his office has commented on the controversial investigation into his former vice president.
However, Obama ultimately agreed that the records could be released “in the interest of countering the misinformation campaign underlying this request,” according to the letter, which was provided to BuzzFeed News by his office in response to questions about the records request. Since mid-March, the National Archives has turned over around 9,400 pages of records to the Senate committees, according to an agency spokesperson.


buzzfeednews--2020-05-11--Five People Were Shot At A Texas Park Where Hundreds Had Gathered, Police Say

Five people were shot at a Texas park where hundreds were reported to have gathered on Sunday evening , Fort Worth police said .
Fort Worth police officers responded to the Village Creek Park at around 7 p.m. local time on Sunday .
Officials said witnesses described fireworks going off in the park after which they heard around 30 rounds of gunfire .
Police said it was not clear if there was one shooter or multiple people with guns .
Two people were critically injured , while three had non-life-threatening injuries .
All five victims were expected to recover , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
Officer Buddy Calzada said at a news briefing on Sunday night that police did not yet have information on suspects or the circumstances of the shooting , but said it `` may be '' related to an earlier shooting incident that took place nearby .
Before the shooting began , officers were in the park to address city ordinance violations , including people riding ATV 's and drinking alcohol , while also attempting to disperse the crowd , Calzada said in a statement Monday .
Police initially estimated the crowd consisted of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ number to 400 .
Fort Worth officers and a supervisor were using their public address systems and sirens to encourage the crowd to disperse when gunshots rang out , causing people to flea the area , Calzada said .
A video posted on Twitter appeared to show a crowd of people running in different directions with some taking cover behind cars .

Five people were shot at a Texas park where hundreds were reported to have gathered on Sunday evening, Fort Worth police said.
Fort Worth police officers responded to the Village Creek Park at around 7 p.m. local time on Sunday. Officials said witnesses described fireworks going off in the park after which they heard around 30 rounds of gunfire. Police said it was not clear if there was one shooter or multiple people with guns.
Two people were critically injured, while three had non-life-threatening injuries. All five victims were expected to recover, officials said in a statement Monday afternoon.
Officer Buddy Calzada said at a news briefing on Sunday night that police did not yet have information on suspects or the circumstances of the shooting, but said it "may be" related to an earlier shooting incident that took place nearby.
Before the shooting began, officers were in the park to address city ordinance violations, including people riding ATV's and drinking alcohol, while also attempting to disperse the crowd, Calzada said in a statement Monday. Police initially estimated the crowd consisted of about 600 people but later revised that number to 400.
Fort Worth officers and a supervisor were using their public address systems and sirens to encourage the crowd to disperse when gunshots rang out, causing people to flea the area, Calzada said.
A video posted on Twitter appeared to show a crowd of people running in different directions with some taking cover behind cars.


buzzfeednews--2020-05-11--Bored And Frustrated, Putin Has Told Russians To Get Back To Work — Even As The Coronavirus Death To

Bored And Frustrated, Putin Has Told Russians To Get Back To Work — Even As The Coronavirus Death Toll Rises

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To help keep this news free , become a member and sign up for our newsletter , Outbreak Today .
Vladimir Putin has spoken : It ’ s time to get back to work .
On Monday , the Russian president announced the easing of a nationwide lockdown for Russians that he imposed in late March to stop the spread of the coronavirus , even as the country reported a record-high number of infections , making it Europe ’ s new hot @ @ @ @ @ @ @ infections in the past 24 hours , a 5.5 % increase from the day before , for a total of 221,344 cases , according to government data .
That was enough to overtake Italy and edge closer to the UK , Spain , and the US — all countries that have been criticized for botching their responses to the pandemic — in the global tally of coronavirus cases .
“ Starting tomorrow , May 12 , the national non-working period will end for the entire country and for all sectors of the economy @ @ @ @ @ @ @ nationwide address .
“ But the fight with the epidemic isn ’ t ending .
Its threat remains even in territories where the situation is relatively safe.
” Putin regretfully ordered the sweeping lockdown measure on March 30 , forcing many people to work from home and businesses to temporarily close while continuing to pay employees .
He also decided , uncharacteristically , to delegate responsibility for implementing it to unprepared regional governors .
Unaccustomed to having so much power , some of them have fumbled their responses .
In his address on @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ authorities to impose restrictions as long as the outbreak continues , a move that some Russian experts saw as him passing the buck .
So the fight will remain theirs , while Putin gets to look like the good guy for reopening the country .
Some experts believe that Monday ’ s announcement was Putin ’ s attempt to move away from crisis management , something that isn ’ t his strong suit .
( Just look at his handling of the Kursk submarine disaster . )
Tatiana Stanovaya , head of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ News that his handling of the coronavirus outbreak “ didn ’ t really work ” and that he prefers focusing on the economy and getting back to the business of strengthening his hold on power .
Putin has appeared perhaps equally angry at , stumped by , and bored with the coronavirus , Stanovaya and other experts have noted .
And he has reasons to be .
The virus has devastated Russia ’ s economy , already hit hard by a dramatic drop in oil prices .
Putin said on Monday that unemployment @ @ @ @ @ @ @ million , and he wanted to try to stop it from rising .
To that end , he announced financial support measures for businesses and for families with children who have seen their lives turned upside down .
The outbreak has also exposed weaknesses in Russia ’ s healthcare system under Putin , who has ruled the country since 2000 .

Vladimir Putin has spoken: It’s time to get back to work.
On Monday, the Russian president announced the easing of a nationwide lockdown for Russians that he imposed in late March to stop the spread of the coronavirus, even as the country reported a record-high number of infections, making it Europe’s new hot spot.
Russia recorded 11,656 new coronavirus infections in the past 24 hours, a 5.5% increase from the day before, for a total of 221,344 cases, according to government data. That was enough to overtake Italy and edge closer to the UK, Spain, and the US — all countries that have been criticized for botching their responses to the pandemic — in the global tally of coronavirus cases.
“Starting tomorrow, May 12, the national non-working period will end for the entire country and for all sectors of the economy,” Putin said in a televised nationwide address. “But the fight with the epidemic isn’t ending. Its threat remains even in territories where the situation is relatively safe.”
Putin regretfully ordered the sweeping lockdown measure on March 30, forcing many people to work from home and businesses to temporarily close while continuing to pay employees. He also decided, uncharacteristically, to delegate responsibility for implementing it to unprepared regional governors. Unaccustomed to having so much power, some of them have fumbled their responses.
In his address on Monday, Putin extended the regional governors’ authorities to impose restrictions as long as the outbreak continues, a move that some Russian experts saw as him passing the buck. So the fight will remain theirs, while Putin gets to look like the good guy for reopening the country.
Some experts believe that Monday’s announcement was Putin’s attempt to move away from crisis management, something that isn’t his strong suit. (Just look at his handling of the Kursk submarine disaster.) Tatiana Stanovaya, head of the R.Politik think tank, told BuzzFeed News that his handling of the coronavirus outbreak “didn’t really work” and that he prefers focusing on the economy and getting back to the business of strengthening his hold on power.
Putin has appeared perhaps equally angry at, stumped by, and bored with the coronavirus, Stanovaya and other experts have noted. And he has reasons to be.
The virus has devastated Russia’s economy, already hit hard by a dramatic drop in oil prices. Putin said on Monday that unemployment had doubled during the lockdown to 1.4 million, and he wanted to try to stop it from rising. To that end, he announced financial support measures for businesses and for families with children who have seen their lives turned upside down.
The outbreak has also exposed weaknesses in Russia’s healthcare system under Putin, who has ruled the country since 2000.


buzzfeednews--2020-05-11--Mexican Doctors Fighting The Coronavirus Are Being Attacked From All Sides — Including By Their Own

Mexican Doctors Fighting The Coronavirus Are Being Attacked From All Sides — Including By Their Own President

BuzzFeed News has reporters across five continents bringing you trustworthy stories about the impact of the coronavirus .
To help keep this news free , become a member and sign up for our newsletter , Outbreak Today .
MEXICO CITY — As COVID-19 cases climb in Mexico , a row has broken out between the president and medical groups after he accused some doctors of only being in it for the money .
Andrés Manuel López Obrador has been criticized by former health ministers for botching the country ’ s response to the coronavirus pandemic .
At a press conference @ @ @ @ @ @ @ his critics , saying that under previous administrations , the first question doctors would ask their patients was not about their condition , but how much money they had .
He did not specify how he knew this , who the doctors he was talking about were , or whether they worked in the public or private sector .
The accusation prompted at least 23 colleges and associations across the country to demand a public apology , calling it “ irresponsible ” and “ shameful.
” “ This is offensive to the entire @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of General Surgery said in a written statement .
“ It is not a moment to criticize , disqualify or censure ” healthcare .
For some , López Obrador ’ s claim was no surprise , as he often rails against the “ neoliberal ” governments that came before him .
He uses his daily press conferences to attack critics and the media , and has consistently underplayed the coronavirus health crisis — he was still out hugging supporters and touring the country well after his own experts advised people to stay home @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Obrador tried to walk back his accusation at Monday 's press conference , saying that if doctors took his statement to mean he thought they were looking to enrich themselves , “ I offer them an apology.
” He then went on to say that the socialist revolutionary Ernesto “ Che ” Guevara had been a doctor .
Protests over the lack of protective gear have broken out in several states as dozens of health workers have contracted COVID-19 .
Shortages hobbled the healthcare system even before the pandemic hit , after López @ @ @ @ @ @ @ surgeries and led to layoffs .
Last year , Germán Martínez , the head of the social security institute , which provides healthcare access to more than 12 million Mexicans , resigned after calling the cuts “ inhumane .
”

MEXICO CITY — As COVID-19 cases climb in Mexico, a row has broken out between the president and medical groups after he accused some doctors of only being in it for the money.
Andrés Manuel López Obrador has been criticized by former health ministers for botching the country’s response to the coronavirus pandemic. At a press conference on Friday, López Obrador turned on his critics, saying that under previous administrations, the first question doctors would ask their patients was not about their condition, but how much money they had. He did not specify how he knew this, who the doctors he was talking about were, or whether they worked in the public or private sector.
The accusation prompted at least 23 colleges and associations across the country to demand a public apology, calling it “irresponsible” and “shameful.”
“This is offensive to the entire medical guild,” the Mexican Association of General Surgery said in a written statement. “It is not a moment to criticize, disqualify or censure” healthcare.
For some, López Obrador’s claim was no surprise, as he often rails against the “neoliberal” governments that came before him. He uses his daily press conferences to attack critics and the media, and has consistently underplayed the coronavirus health crisis — he was still out hugging supporters and touring the country well after his own experts advised people to stay home.
After coming under fire, López Obrador tried to walk back his accusation at Monday's press conference, saying that if doctors took his statement to mean he thought they were looking to enrich themselves, “I offer them an apology.” He then went on to say that the socialist revolutionary Ernesto “Che” Guevara had been a doctor.
Protests over the lack of protective gear have broken out in several states as dozens of health workers have contracted COVID-19. Shortages hobbled the healthcare system even before the pandemic hit, after López Obrador ordered steep budget cuts that delayed surgeries and led to layoffs. Last year, Germán Martínez, the head of the social security institute, which provides healthcare access to more than 12 million Mexicans, resigned after calling the cuts “inhumane.”


buzzfeednews--2020-04-27--“I’m Depressed, But Feel I Have No Right To Be”: Class Guilt During The Pandemic

Nancy , a 24-year-old first-generation American who grew up “ mostly low-income , ” is the only member of her Central American and Caribbean family to have left New York .
She currently lives in Los Angeles , where she ’ s employed full time as a production coordinator .
She ’ s been working since she was a teenager .
Now , as Nancy 's seen others lose their jobs or risk their health as frontline workers during the coronavirus pandemic , she feels “ lucky enough to work somewhere that 1 ) I enjoy quite a bit and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ [ means I can ] afford an apartment and the majority of my bills and not feel underwater , ” she told me .
“ It ’ s definitely still all very new to me to have all of this at my age — the goal is very much to eventually give back to my family.
” She was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in her late teens , and has been struggling through some bad spirals during the lockdown , mostly in silence .
“ I only recently spoke to a friend @ @ @ @ @ @ @ still felt burdensome , ” she said .
“ Even when she told me that I wasn ’ t being a burden , I still felt like I couldn ’ t take the ‘ handout , ’ for a lack of better word.
” She hasn ’ t sought support elsewhere , because “ I don ’ t want to put it on my friends and family.
” She ’ s been crying herself to sleep or getting “ incredibly high ” at night to cope .
“ It ’ s destructive and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , ” she said .
“ But I ’ m also so painfully aware of everything else that I feel like a bit of a brat for even going through these emotions.
” She ’ s not alone .
Anxiety , grief , and trauma are natural responses to the pandemic , but placed in a class context , some people are finding it hard to accept or give voice to their own feelings .
Anna Borges , a former colleague of mine who writes about and reports on mental health , has @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the past month that “ many people feel ashamed of their emotions because of how their circumstances compare to others in more vulnerable positions .
And it 's adding extra distress to an already awful situation.
” My own therapist , who frequently calls me out for downplaying my anxieties — I love to insist that nothing is ever “ that bad ” — caught me in downplaying overdrive when we had a phone session earlier this week .
After listening to me beat myself up for a particularly dark spell of depression @ @ @ @ @ @ @ presumed COVID-19 symptoms but still seized with stomach cramps and ground down by weeks of fatigue , she gently reminded me that feeling badly was the most natural response in the world to a pandemic , no matter my relatively privileged position .
Class in the US is complicated .
What we call the middle class is in fact a huge category of people with varying backgrounds and identities .
What they share , however , is a sense of precarity .
Fewer than half of middle-income American adults say they have enough @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , according to a Pew Research survey conducted this month .
Many of those who ’ ve experienced upward mobility are still connected — financially , emotionally , or otherwise — to the places they came from .
And counter to the bootstraps mentality of rugged American individualism , mobility doesn ’ t only work in one direction .
Many people are only a single medical crisis or job loss away from finding themselves backsliding toward debt or even poverty .
But it can be difficult , especially for those who ’ ve @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to feel as though their grief and anxiety is really earned when they ’ re also reckoning with survivor 's guilt .
If you ’ re relatively privileged , are you even “ allowed ” to feel anxiety and despair right now ?
The clinical psychologist B .
Last , writing for Damage Magazine , notes that “ the psychological impact of the pandemic cuts deep into the core of middle-class anxieties.
” For Last ’ s patients in a free mental health clinic in Philadelphia , who are mostly families who live @ @ @ @ @ @ @ global pandemic is not a break from normalcy .
The outbreak and its social repercussions are continuous with their experience of a world where bad things happen and where they lack control of the outcome.
” But the middle class has so much at stake , “ both materially and psychically , ” when it comes to this crisis that they ’ ve resorted yet again to seeking individual solutions to systemic problems , whether by panic-buying or putting their nuclear families ’ comforts ahead of the public good .
Last points to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ highly socioeconomically unequal countries , like the US , have “ significantly greater rates of anxiety disorders than low-income , more equitable countries.
” Within wealthy and unequal nations , those most prone to anxiety “ occupy what Erik Olin Wright has termed ‘ contradictory class locations.
’ ” It isn ’ t the ultra-wealthy or the very poor who suffer most acutely from psychological distress , but the middle class : “ the middle manager or low-level supervisor , who lacks the agency to meaningfully alter her social conditions , but has @ @ @ @ @ @ @ her fingers in the dike .
In recent years , she has become overwhelmed as the number of leaky holes multiply.
” This virus was never some sort of great social leveler ; it ’ s making some lives way harder than others , and killing far more people in communities that were already vulnerable , too .
But even those lucky enough to be spending lockdown in homes with yards , and those who don ’ t have children or other dependents to care for , and those who can do their @ @ @ @ @ @ @ front lines of the pandemic are still struggling with their mental health .
How can we adequately address this big , collective trauma without minimizing anyone ’ s suffering , while still acknowledging that the way our society is structured maximizes different people ’ s pain ?
A young woman who grew up an hour outside of Toronto and recently moved to New York is currently living with her partner , who has wealthy parents — “ and through him I have the privilege of a safety net for the first time , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ working-class , most of her family is still employed in the service industry , at places like Walmart .
“ I ’ m not really worried about money right now because of my partner , ” she said .
“ And I ’ ve been feeling a lot of guilt and weirdness about this since I have family who still need to risk their health to go to work.
” Talking to friends about her complicated feelings isn ’ t really an option , either , because most of them are wealthier , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ m putting them in a weird spot.
” Floating in class limbo can make it difficult to connect with people on either side of your own particular class divide , especially in times of crisis .
A 33-year-old also living in Los Angeles told me that she ’ s “ caught in that gray area of not great , not bad , just okay.
” Most of her friends “ are a mix of very comfortable to very paycheck-to-paycheck situations .
I 'm finding myself code-switching a lot , trying to find the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to talk to my friends and family who are only inconvenienced by this pandemic vs. my friends and peers who are devastated emotionally , financially , physically.
” Another tricky question : If you ’ re not quite financially stable , but not quite drowning , either , how do you know if you should tap mutual aid networks for support ?
The 33-year-old is a freelancer whose upcoming projects have been canceled because of the pandemic but isn ’ t currently receiving unemployment benefits because her name got misspelled , and “ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ hold of them.
” But because she has some savings in the bank , “ I ’ m not applying to any of the artist grants or offers for Venmo payments from people online , because I can be okay for now and others can ’ t…but that will dry up .
And at some point soon , I will need help.
” Emily , a 34-year-old living in Texas with her family , is dealing with similar confusing feelings about her class position .
On the one hand , “ I work @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I ’ m pretty sure I ’ m the most broke in the office .
Our kids are on CHIP [ the Children Health Insurance Program through Medicaid ] , we never take vacations — nothing tragic , but a different experience from people who go out for lunch every day and are always taking up collections for gifts.
” But on the other hand , she ’ s currently in the process of filing for bankruptcy , “ and we ’ re soon to be cleared of $ 50k of debt … @ @ @ @ @ @ @ financially than we 've ever been .
And my husband can see to the kids , so we 're not balancing two remote jobs .
It 's hard and we 're really struggling , but I know it could be much , much worse.
” Emily said she ’ s been dealing with clinical depression “ on and off for 20 years , ” and it ’ s now back in full force .
“ I ’ m depressed , but feel I have no right to be.
” One easy way for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ feelings of guilt or powerlessness is by giving back , financially or otherwise , to those less fortunate .
But determining exactly how much to give away isn ’ t so clear-cut when you ’ re not necessarily thriving .
Studies have shown that poorer Americans give a greater percentage of their incomes to charity than the wealthy , perhaps because they ’ re more intimately acquainted with the value and necessity of spreading wealth in a fundamentally unequal society .
But how much should you give when you ’ re just barely @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 22-year-old who works at a law firm , feels incredibly guilty because she ’ s able to work from home while her three roommates are currently out of work because of the pandemic .
“ I 'm constantly in fear that my roommates who do n't have an income right now are mad at me or are talking about me , ” she said .
“ I 've even offered to pay for some of their bills during this time since I feel so guilty that I have something they do n't … @ @ @ @ @ @ @ between the same few rooms every single day and that even has me questioning my own existence .
Is this living situation even what I want ?
” To feel more empowered when it comes to helping her community , she donated 20 % of her stimulus check to her local church , which has partnered with a nearby homeless shelter , and the rest she put into her savings .
“ I feel guilty that I am not using the bulk of my stimulus money to benefit someone else , but I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ person too , with needs , and they may not be as great as someone else ’ s ... but they 're still needs.
” Meeting one ’ s own needs while also taking ethical considerations into account has always been a moral minefield , but it ’ s become especially fraught now .
In the absence of clear directives from so many of our leaders , we ’ ve all been judging and policing the hell out of each other ’ s responses to the pandemic .
Some of these judgments are @ @ @ @ @ @ @ power who ’ ve put others in danger , but “ some of them , maybe even most of them , are misguided manifestations of fear and confusion in the face of a very real vacuum of authority , ” as my colleague Anne Helen Petersen writes .
Zoe , a 33-year-old living in Brooklyn who ’ s currently making a six-figure salary , told me she feels extremely lucky that she and her partner are healthy , employed , and have enough cash in a savings account to support them for six @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , “ I had an emotional breakdown every other day , ” she said .
“ It was overwhelming to feel scared , sad , angry , confused , and powerless while also acknowledging the immense privilege and gratitude I have in this world.
” She said she feels “ like a fucking traitor every time we order something on Amazon , but I 'm now too anxious to go to the stores to get hard-to-find essential items .
Then I tell myself there 's no ethical consumption under capitalism and I personally @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fuck it — buy the dish soap from Amazon !
” I heard that phrase a lot when talking to people for this story .
Mary , a 29-year-old New Yorker , said she ’ s “ trying to be as ethical as possible in how I spend and donate money and how I acquire food , but it 's tough and it feels like there are no good options .
I know there 's no ethical consumption under capitalism , but this feels worse than usual.
” She experienced a severe depressive @ @ @ @ @ @ @ to take three weeks of medical leave from work , “ which was a first , and now feels like an insane luxury.
” Her income has remained steady through the pandemic , “ So I mostly feel super lucky , but a lot of things , of course , are harder , and I feel guilty about that.
” One 43-year-old woman who grew up in the Northwest and currently lives in Montana feels grateful that she ’ s still able to work both her full-time and part-time jobs from home .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ desperately want a week off .
I am so exhausted mentally and am working so hard to manage my history of PTSD bullshit through all of this.
” She ’ s uncertain if her full-time job at a nonprofit will still exist later this year , so when she received her stimulus check , she decided to put it all in savings .
“ But I want my community to survive all of this .
So I 've decided for the next three months I 'm going to spend $ 150 each month @ @ @ @ @ @ @ have normally spent.
” So far , that includes donating to the Montana Free Press , buying a homemade mask from a friend who lost their job , and ordering Mother ’ s Day gifts from a friend ’ s shop .
“ They are little things , but it feels like it 's a small way I can help others , ” she said .
Catherine , a graduate student who grew up in the West Indies , is “ riding out the ‘ rona ” with an aunt , since she @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ( she ’ s currently in the US on a student visa ) .
“ It has been a hassle from a mental health standpoint , but I am mostly perfectly fine .
I 've actually been able to save quite a bit because staying with family has supplemented my grocery costs .
I feel badly about being okay enough to not be panicked , but not okay enough to really be able to help anyone else.
” It can also be hard to admit feeling grief for losing things that many people @ @ @ @ @ @ @ A nonbinary person in their early thirties told me they feel guilty about their new job , where they ’ re making almost $ 20,000 more than they used to .
“ I think it 's definitely appropriate at this point in my career , but I feel guilt over it as people lose their jobs.
” While they have been able to send money to people in their life who need it , small things like the inability to “ get a professional haircut , which I was looking forward to because @ @ @ @ @ @ @ my gender expression , ” are frustrating .
And yet , they said , “ whining over this feels wrong.
” A 25-year-old self-identified “ straight white guy , ” who became financially independent at 21 , told me he “ used to be a market believer and like a ‘ learn to code ’ guy ( gross , I know ) .
” Now , he ’ s a Bernie supporter and data scientist .
“ At 25 years old I make just over $ 90K , after my raise this year @ @ @ @ @ @ @ have plenty of savings to cover a sufficient number of months of rent , I have no debt and a 401k.
” “ The main thing that I am mentally hung up on is whether or not I 'm a bad person for benefiting from a system that causes so much harm , ” he said .
“ Every single grocery store employee , truck driver , medical worker , delivery worker both works much harder than me — I sit in a chair and type on a computer — and is paid @ @ @ @ @ @ @ greater risk to the virus .
That seems pretty fucked up to me.
” “ I am also very conscious about not having myself used as an example of meritocracy working as designed , ” he added .
“ I think plenty of people could do my job , and there 's nothing really intrinsically special about me .
I also would n't say I have worked particularly hard to get here .
But it 's easy to believe in these myths when it helps to repress the guilt of benefiting from a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ my own depression and anxiety is exacerbated by my experience of what Wright and Last call a “ contradictory class location.
” I don ’ t have enough fingers to plug all the leaky holes .
For now , I have enough money to indulge in some creature comforts , but I don ’ t make the kind of salary that would allow me to buy a better life for the members of my family living below the poverty line .
I doubt I ever will .
Stuck in class limbo , I @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and constantly regret that I can ’ t do more , for my own family or for other people .
It 's clear I ’ m not the only one .
The pandemic is responsible for fueling a new mental health crisis , the fallout of which could last for generations .
Those dealing with depression and anxiety right now are being forced into the incredibly difficult position of trying to manage symptoms at home while the health care system is ravaged by the virus .
Mary , the 29-year-old New Yorker , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ burden : “ I ’ m also aware , coming out of one of the worst depressive episodes in my life , that I need to be extremely careful not to require serious care , because I know that 's just not available right now .
”

Another tricky question: If you’re not quite financially stable, but not quite drowning, either, how do you know if you should tap mutual aid networks for support? The 33-year-old is a freelancer whose upcoming projects have been canceled because of the pandemic but isn’t currently receiving unemployment benefits because her name got misspelled, and “it’s impossible to get a hold of them.” But because she has some savings in the bank, “I’m not applying to any of the artist grants or offers for Venmo payments from people online, because I can be okay for now and others can’t…but that will dry up. And at some point soon, I will need help.”
Emily, a 34-year-old living in Texas with her family, is dealing with similar confusing feelings about her class position. On the one hand, “I work with lots of middle-class people, and I’m pretty sure I’m the most broke in the office. Our kids are on CHIP [the Children Health Insurance Program through Medicaid], we never take vacations — nothing tragic, but a different experience from people who go out for lunch every day and are always taking up collections for gifts.” But on the other hand, she’s currently in the process of filing for bankruptcy, “and we’re soon to be cleared of $50k of debt … so we're in a better place financially than we've ever been. And my husband can see to the kids, so we're not balancing two remote jobs. It's hard and we're really struggling, but I know it could be much, much worse.” Emily said she’s been dealing with clinical depression “on and off for 20 years,” and it’s now back in full force. “I’m depressed, but feel I have no right to be.”
One easy way for people across socioeconomic classes to deal with feelings of guilt or powerlessness is by giving back, financially or otherwise, to those less fortunate. But determining exactly how much to give away isn’t so clear-cut when you’re not necessarily thriving. Studies have shown that poorer Americans give a greater percentage of their incomes to charity than the wealthy, perhaps because they’re more intimately acquainted with the value and necessity of spreading wealth in a fundamentally unequal society. But how much should you give when you’re just barely hanging on yourself?
Morgan, a 22-year-old who works at a law firm, feels incredibly guilty because she’s able to work from home while her three roommates are currently out of work because of the pandemic. “I'm constantly in fear that my roommates who don't have an income right now are mad at me or are talking about me,” she said. “I've even offered to pay for some of their bills during this time since I feel so guilty that I have something they don't … I end up dreading having to go between the same few rooms every single day and that even has me questioning my own existence. Is this living situation even what I want?” To feel more empowered when it comes to helping her community, she donated 20% of her stimulus check to her local church, which has partnered with a nearby homeless shelter, and the rest she put into her savings. “I feel guilty that I am not using the bulk of my stimulus money to benefit someone else, but I have to realize that I'm a person too, with needs, and they may not be as great as someone else’s...but they're still needs.”
Meeting one’s own needs while also taking ethical considerations into account has always been a moral minefield, but it’s become especially fraught now. In the absence of clear directives from so many of our leaders, we’ve all been judging and policing the hell out of each other’s responses to the pandemic. Some of these judgments are heartily deserved, especially for people in power who’ve put others in danger, but “some of them, maybe even most of them, are misguided manifestations of fear and confusion in the face of a very real vacuum of authority,” as my colleague Anne Helen Petersen writes.
Zoe, a 33-year-old living in Brooklyn who’s currently making a six-figure salary, told me she feels extremely lucky that she and her partner are healthy, employed, and have enough cash in a savings account to support them for six months. But once the pandemic began, “I had an emotional breakdown every other day,” she said. “It was overwhelming to feel scared, sad, angry, confused, and powerless while also acknowledging the immense privilege and gratitude I have in this world.” She said she feels “like a fucking traitor every time we order something on Amazon, but I'm now too anxious to go to the stores to get hard-to-find essential items. Then I tell myself there's no ethical consumption under capitalism and I personally cannot change the world so just fuck it — buy the dish soap from Amazon!”


buzzfeednews--2020-04-27--A Brooklyn Couple Married For Nearly 30 Years Died Within Days Of Each Other From The Coronavirus

People around the world are remembering family and friends who have died during the coronavirus pandemic .
BuzzFeed News is proud to bring you some of their stories .
To support our coverage , become a member and sign up for our newsletter , Outbreak Today .
Joseph Dellis and Yolanda Dellis met at a Brooklyn bowling alley nearly 40 years ago .
Joseph gave Yolanda some unsolicited advice on wrist technique that would help better her bowling game .
After nearly a decade of dating , the two married in the early '90s , becoming inseparable , even as @ @ @ @ @ @ @ upstairs to their bedroom because of a years-old hip injury .
“ My dad would — God bless him — he would sleep on the couch downstairs so if she woke up in the middle of the night she could look across and see him , ” Marisa Vitolo , their daughter , told BuzzFeed News .
That changed when Joseph , 88 , left for the hospital on March 22 , marking the last time he ’ d see his wife of 28 years .
“ He looked like he was very @ @ @ @ @ @ @ % making sense , ” Vitolo said of her stepfather , who married her mom , Yolanda , the year she graduated high school .
Yolanda , 83 , was taken to the hospital the following day after her home health aide said she wasn ’ t keeping food down .
Vitolo said she was able to get her parents into the same hospital .
Unable to travel in the ambulance , Vitolo said she sent a note with the driver explaining that her mother suffered from Alzheimer ’ s and that her @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Hospital a day earlier .
“ I don ’ t know if they ever told my dad that my mom was there , ” Vitolo said .
The couple died within days of each other after testing positive for COVID-19 , the disease caused by the coronavirus .
Vitolo said she still does not know whether her father died before learning his wife was admitted to the same hospital as him .
Vitolo told BuzzFeed News she also tested positive for COVID-19 a week after her parents but recovered from symptoms without being @ @

Joseph Dellis and Yolanda Dellis met at a Brooklyn bowling alley nearly 40 years ago.
Joseph gave Yolanda some unsolicited advice on wrist technique that would help better her bowling game. After nearly a decade of dating, the two married in the early '90s, becoming inseparable, even as Yolanda was no longer able to walk upstairs to their bedroom because of a years-old hip injury.
“My dad would — God bless him — he would sleep on the couch downstairs so if she woke up in the middle of the night she could look across and see him,” Marisa Vitolo, their daughter, told BuzzFeed News.
That changed when Joseph, 88, left for the hospital on March 22, marking the last time he’d see his wife of 28 years. “He looked like he was very fatigued and he wasn’t 100% making sense,” Vitolo said of her stepfather, who married her mom, Yolanda, the year she graduated high school.
Yolanda, 83, was taken to the hospital the following day after her home health aide said she wasn’t keeping food down.
Vitolo said she was able to get her parents into the same hospital. Unable to travel in the ambulance, Vitolo said she sent a note with the driver explaining that her mother suffered from Alzheimer’s and that her husband had been admitted to Coney Island Hospital a day earlier. “I don’t know if they ever told my dad that my mom was there,” Vitolo said.
The couple died within days of each other after testing positive for COVID-19, the disease caused by the coronavirus.
Vitolo said she still does not know whether her father died before learning his wife was admitted to the same hospital as him.
Vitolo told BuzzFeed News she also tested positive for COVID-19 a week after her parents but recovered from symptoms without being hospitalized.


buzzfeednews--2020-04-24--He Was A Family Man, A Dedicated Church Member, And His Son's Best Friend. He Died From The Coronavi

He Was A Family Man, A Dedicated Church Member, And His Son's Best Friend. He Died From The Coronavirus.

Dae Kwun Yoon taught his son that he had `` something special to offer society as a Korean American who has a different perspective . ''
Dae Kwun Yoon was a family man through and through .
No matter how busy work got — and it was often busy — he always made sure he had time for his wife , Kye , and his two boys .
But John Yoon did n't always know that about his dad , especially when he was younger .
`` I definitely did not appreciate him the way that he deserved , '' @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , Georgia area , told BuzzFeed News .
`` I was the typical rebellious second-generation Asian American kid who was trying to run away from his culture and trying to be an American all the way through — all of that stuff . ''
Yoon 's outlook started shifting during his college years when he realized the effort his dad put in raising him and his brother , Josh .
And when Yoon himself became a father eight years ago , his relationship with his dad changed .
`` I realized , like @ @ @ @ @ @ @ age when I hated him for so many of these things .
And it does n't make any sense .
I was n't seeing things from the right perspective , '' he recalled .
`` I think from that point on , we kind of just became best friends . ''
In April , after weeks of feeling sick , Dae became one of the tens of thousands of Americans to die from COVID-19 , the disease caused by the novel coronavirus .
Originally from South Korea , Dae emigrated to the US @ @ @ @ @ @ @ part-time job at an elevator manufacturing company in the Bronx through a fellow member of his church , where Dae enthusiastically helped out whenever he could .
`` He was just doing whatever was needed , '' Yoon said , recalling his dad volunteering to manage the church 's finances and record sermons on cassette tape .
`` He was just that kind of guy . ''
When Kye got pregnant , Dae decided to take on a full-time engineering position at the company in the Bronx .
He held that job for @ @ @ @ @ @ @ way after moving to Connecticut .
Yoon said his dad instilled in him traditions that he now holds dear , even though he rebelled against them growing up .
As `` the kind of guy who made sure everyone was coming together on the holidays , '' Dae set an example for how to be a part of a family and community .
He also showed Yoon the value of their culture — `` not just to my own pride , '' Yoon said , `` but that I have something special to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ has a different perspective . ''
Yoon said his dad began feeling coldlike symptoms around mid-March .
It progressed to breathing trouble every time he sat down , and Dae initially thought it was indigestion .
`` Being the tough Korean guy that he is , he pushed back going to the hospital as much as he could .
So he would just not sit for extended periods of time , '' Yoon said .
For days , Dae reassured his sons that he was fine besides experiencing some trouble breathing .
And @ @ @ @ @ @ @ literally the dialogue until the day he went to the hospital . ''
On March 29 , after Yoon had given a sermon via livestream , his mom called , telling him to get in touch with his dad .
Dae had been admitted to Danbury Hospital in Connecticut .
`` He had very heavy , labored breathing so by that point we kind of assumed it was coronavirus .
He was like , 'Yeah I 'm here , I 'm doing OK .
It 's hard to breathe but we 'll see @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Yoon recalled .
`` I was like , 'Alright , well , be careful .
Keep me updated . '
'' They said `` I love yous '' and hung up .
Dae 's coronavirus test later came back positive .
On the morning of April 14 , doctors allowed Dae 's younger brother and Kye to visit him .
Kye told her husband that people were praying for him .
She told him to hang in there a little longer .
Dae was sedated for intubation , but Kye saw tears coming @ @ @ @ @ @ @ were grateful that at least even subconsciously , or somewhere or another , he heard mom 's voice , '' Yoon said .
That afternoon , at age 62 , Dae died .
The March 29 call was the last time Yoon spoke to his dad .
The family held a small funeral service on Tuesday for Dae in Long Island , New York .
In line with the state 's social distancing guidelines , they had a 15-minute burial service on-site , with only 10 people in attendance .
Yoon said the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ family was social distancing during the service and they could n't physically comfort one another .
The Yoons have been grieving the loss of their patriarch .
However , Yoon and his brother have been surprised by how well their mom , who also tested positive for the coronavirus recently , seems to be coping in particular .
Yoon attributes that to their faith , which he said has helped enormously in a difficult time .
`` Even just being so certain of another future reality to come ... at least for myself @ @ @ @ @ @ @ will see him again , '' he said .
`` We 're definitely all grieving very deeply , '' Yoon added , `` but we 're also celebrating very deeply , just knowing that he 's not suffering anymore , and that he 's experiencing a joy that we only hope to experience on this side . ''

Dae Kwun Yoon was a family man through and through. No matter how busy work got — and it was often busy — he always made sure he had time for his wife, Kye, and his two boys. But John Yoon didn't always know that about his dad, especially when he was younger.
"I definitely did not appreciate him the way that he deserved," Yoon, a pastor in the Atlanta, Georgia area, told BuzzFeed News. "I was the typical rebellious second-generation Asian American kid who was trying to run away from his culture and trying to be an American all the way through — all of that stuff."
Yoon's outlook started shifting during his college years when he realized the effort his dad put in raising him and his brother, Josh. And when Yoon himself became a father eight years ago, his relationship with his dad changed.
"I realized, like, man, my dad was my age when I hated him for so many of these things. And it doesn't make any sense. I wasn't seeing things from the right perspective," he recalled. "I think from that point on, we kind of just became best friends."
In April, after weeks of feeling sick, Dae became one of the tens of thousands of Americans to die from COVID-19, the disease caused by the novel coronavirus.


buzzfeednews--2020-06-07--Meet The Volunteers Helping Arrested Protesters With Clean T-Shirts, Legal Advice, And A Free Ride H

Meet The Volunteers Helping Arrested Protesters With Clean T-Shirts, Legal Advice, And A Free Ride Home

Emergency doctor Charlotte Roy sits outside Manhattan Central Booking in the jail support tent , surrounded by medical products , toiletries , and sandwiches for protesters released from jail .
“ I ’ ve got a comrade for you , ” announced a volunteer , as she brought a protester who 'd just been released from police detention over to the jail support tent in downtown Brooklyn on Friday night .
The young black man immediately was offered hand sanitizer , and then a cigarette , and a fresh T-shirt .
Another volunteer gave him $ 40 in cash .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ during the Black Lives Matter demonstrations — often violently , despite peaceful protesting against police brutality — volunteer groups offering jail support outside of courts and police precincts have popped up around the country .
The help offered is a combination of legal and medical assistance , food , a ride home , and a friendly face after finally being released from prison .
Around 11 p.m. Friday , two just-released young black men arrived at the jail support tent outside NYPD Kings County Bookings .
One wore Nike sneakers with the shoelaces @ @ @ @ @ @ @ photos of the arrest documents and summons he ’ d received , explaining that she would connect him with the National Lawyers Guild .
Another was handed a blue bottle of Gatorade and a bag of chips , and began speaking with a volunteer who was a social worker .
“ There are people who come out shaken , ” said a 28-year-old law student , who declined to give her name as organizers want to avoid media attention .
She 's volunteered multiple nights at the Brooklyn location , offering moral support @ @ @ @ @ @ @ after they come out of NYPD detention holdings a summons for their charge .
Legal observer volunteers inside the arraignments courtrooms are watching and reporting to the team outside which people are being released were arrested during protests , and if bail needs to be paid or other legal help required .
Protesters are “ either upset because they were wrongfully booked or mistreated by the cops , '' said the law student , or frustrated at `` how the cops aren ’ t taking COVID seriously and putting these people in jeopardy @ @ @ @ @ @ @ are often detained for hours or days in a cramped jail cell , with no mask , during a global pandemic , even though local district attorneys are saying they do not plan to prosecute most protest arrests .
Jail support is mainly decentralized , organized in New York on Instagram and in private Signal groups , helped in part by groups such as the National Lawyers Guild .
People can sign up for shifts or just turn up and see if help is needed , although there have been a lot more @ @ @ @ @ @ @ often lots of donations of things that are not needed .
On Sunday morning , the NYC Jail Support group sent out an alert via Signal , an encrypted messaging service , noting that it had adequate staffing at all its sites .
“ DO NOT NEED : Water , granola bars , fruit , ” reads the message .
“ Things that we DO NEED : ... Coffee/Tea , Hot breakfast , Toothpaste/brushes , socks and underwear of all sizes , plain colored t-shirt packs , deodorant , pants — medium and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ a mixed young crowd of Occupy hippies , inner Brooklyn kids in glitter Doc Martens , preppy law students , and healthcare workers in scrubs .
For months Charlotte Roy , 32 , has treated COVID-19 patients as an emergency room doctor at a major New York hospital .
On Friday night , she volunteered as jail support in her medical scrubs with ice packs , gauze , and bandages outside NYPD Manhattan Bookings ready for any protesters in need of treatment .
“ This is a way for me to be helpful @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ” she said .
“ I don ’ t like armchair activism .
”

“I’ve got a comrade for you,” announced a volunteer, as she brought a protester who'd just been released from police detention over to the jail support tent in downtown Brooklyn on Friday night.
The young black man immediately was offered hand sanitizer, and then a cigarette, and a fresh T-shirt. Another volunteer gave him $40 in cash.
“Oh, wow,” he responded.
As thousands of people have been arrested during the Black Lives Matter demonstrations — often violently, despite peaceful protesting against police brutality — volunteer groups offering jail support outside of courts and police precincts have popped up around the country.
The help offered is a combination of legal and medical assistance, food, a ride home, and a friendly face after finally being released from prison.
Around 11 p.m. Friday, two just-released young black men arrived at the jail support tent outside NYPD Kings County Bookings. One wore Nike sneakers with the shoelaces removed, and a legal volunteer took photos of the arrest documents and summons he’d received, explaining that she would connect him with the National Lawyers Guild.
Another was handed a blue bottle of Gatorade and a bag of chips, and began speaking with a volunteer who was a social worker.
“There are people who come out shaken,” said a 28-year-old law student, who declined to give her name as organizers want to avoid media attention.
She's volunteered multiple nights at the Brooklyn location, offering moral support and helping connect people with legal assistance after they come out of NYPD detention holdings a summons for their charge.
Legal observer volunteers inside the arraignments courtrooms are watching and reporting to the team outside which people are being released were arrested during protests, and if bail needs to be paid or other legal help required.
Protesters are “either upset because they were wrongfully booked or mistreated by the cops," said the law student, or frustrated at "how the cops aren’t taking COVID seriously and putting these people in jeopardy."
In New York, demonstrators are often detained for hours or days in a cramped jail cell, with no mask, during a global pandemic, even though local district attorneys are saying they do not plan to prosecute most protest arrests.
Jail support is mainly decentralized, organized in New York on Instagram and in private Signal groups, helped in part by groups such as the National Lawyers Guild. People can sign up for shifts or just turn up and see if help is needed, although there have been a lot more volunteers turning up than required, and often lots of donations of things that are not needed.
On Sunday morning, the NYC Jail Support group sent out an alert via Signal, an encrypted messaging service, noting that it had adequate staffing at all its sites.
“DO NOT NEED: Water, granola bars, fruit,” reads the message. “Things that we DO NEED:... Coffee/Tea, Hot breakfast, Toothpaste/brushes, socks and underwear of all sizes, plain colored t-shirt packs, deodorant, pants — medium and above.”
Volunteers on Friday night were a mixed young crowd of Occupy hippies, inner Brooklyn kids in glitter Doc Martens, preppy law students, and healthcare workers in scrubs.
For months Charlotte Roy, 32, has treated COVID-19 patients as an emergency room doctor at a major New York hospital.
On Friday night, she volunteered as jail support in her medical scrubs with ice packs, gauze, and bandages outside NYPD Manhattan Bookings ready for any protesters in need of treatment.
“This is a way for me to be helpful and support people who are protesting,” she said. “I don’t like armchair activism.”


buzzfeednews--2020-04-13--Arkansas Is Being Sued For Banning Abortions During Coronavirus But Letting Dentists Continue Taking

Arkansas Is Being Sued For Banning Abortions During Coronavirus But Letting Dentists Continue Taking Appointments

The journalists at BuzzFeed News are proud to bring you trustworthy and relevant reporting about the coronavirus .
To help keep this news free , become a member and sign up for our newsletter , Outbreak Today .
The American Civil Liberties Union filed an emergency lawsuit Monday seeking to block a state order in Arkansas that would prevent the state ’ s sole clinic from performing abortions during the coronavirus outbreak .
Arkansas is the sixth state to issue an order limiting abortion access due to the pandemic .
On April 3 , Arkansas Gov .
Asa Hutchinson issued @ @ @ @ @ @ @ procedures be postponed and that any medical providers who violated the order could be fined up to $ 500 and imprisoned for up to a month .
The following week , Hutchinson announced that Arkansas ’ s only abortion clinic , Little Rock Family Planning Services , was under investigation for potentially violating his order .
On Friday , the clinic received a letter from the state ’ s Department of Health saying that abortions that were “ not immediately necessary to protect the life or health of the patient ” were elective @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the state ’ s order by continuing to provide abortions .
The ACLU responded in the US District Court for the Eastern District of Arkansas , seeking “ emergency relief ” from the order , arguing that banning abortion is unconstitutional and that the state was unfairly targeting abortion providers while letting other medical professionals , like dentists , continue to operate .
Over the past few weeks , state governments in Texas , Ohio , Iowa , Alabama , and Oklahoma have all issued orders or interpretations of orders attempting to ban @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that the procedure is not medically necessary and that keeping clinics open is using up personal protective equipment and hospital beds that should be reserved for health care workers and people with COVID-19 .
The ACLU , Planned Parenthood , and the Center for Reproductive Rights have filed lawsuits , either separately or together , in each of the six states , arguing in each that abortion is medically necessary , that the amount of protective equipment for medical staffers and hospital beds used in abortion procedures is negligible , and that these @ @ @ @ @ @ @ anti-abortion policies .
Federal judges have issued temporary restraining orders preventing the abortions bans from going into effect in Texas , Ohio , Oklahoma , and Alabama , though the states have all appealed these decisions and the cases are currently making their way through the courts .
( The lawsuit in Iowa was dropped after the state clarified that its ban only applied to some procedures . )
After the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals decided to allow Texas ’ s ban to go into effect at the end of March , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ block of the law , the pro–abortion rights groups asked the Supreme Court to intervene and prevent Texas from banning the procedure .
As all these cases raged on in the court system , Arkansas decided to join in on the fray by sending a cease-and-desist letter to its only abortion clinic .
“ Your facility is ordered to immediately cease and desist the performance of surgical abortions , except where immediately necessary to protect the life or health of the patient , ” the letter , included in the ACLU ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ violations of the April 3 Directive will result in an immediate suspension of your facilities license.
” In the suit , the ACLU pointed out that Arkansas does not have a stay-at-home order in place and has not closed nonessential businesses , arguing that the governor is specifically targeting abortion clinics .
“ According to the Governor , many hospitals are ‘ empty , ’ and there is no shortage of the medical professionals on whom we all gratefully depend to fight COVID-19 on the frontlines , ” ACLU ’ s complaint says @ @ @ @ @ @ @ gave with PBS on Wednesday defending his choice not to issue a lockdown for his state .
“ Manufacturing and places of worship remain open , and medical providers around the State are free to exercise their independent professional judgment to provide patients with all surgical and dental care that they determine can not be safely postponed , ” the complaint continues .
The complaint includes a letter sent from the Arkansas Department of Health to the states ’ dentists outlining the procedures allowed to take place during the ban on nonemergency surgeries @ @ @ @ @ @ @ some orthodontic care , treating cracked teeth , and “ third-molar pain , ” among other standard dentist procedures .
“ Indeed , orthodontists in Arkansas remain free to schedule visits to adjust wires on patients ’ braces , and dentists continue to see patients who complain of a cracked tooth , ” the lawsuit states .
The ACLU requested a speedy response to their complaint , and a federal judge is likely to make a ruling in the coming days .

The American Civil Liberties Union filed an emergency lawsuit Monday seeking to block a state order in Arkansas that would prevent the state’s sole clinic from performing abortions during the coronavirus outbreak. Arkansas is the sixth state to issue an order limiting abortion access due to the pandemic.
On April 3, Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson issued a statewide directive that all nonvital medical procedures be postponed and that any medical providers who violated the order could be fined up to $500 and imprisoned for up to a month. The following week, Hutchinson announced that Arkansas’s only abortion clinic, Little Rock Family Planning Services, was under investigation for potentially violating his order.
On Friday, the clinic received a letter from the state’s Department of Health saying that abortions that were “not immediately necessary to protect the life or health of the patient” were elective surgeries and that the clinic was violating the state’s order by continuing to provide abortions.
The ACLU responded in the US District Court for the Eastern District of Arkansas, seeking “emergency relief” from the order, arguing that banning abortion is unconstitutional and that the state was unfairly targeting abortion providers while letting other medical professionals, like dentists, continue to operate.
Over the past few weeks, state governments in Texas, Ohio, Iowa, Alabama, and Oklahoma have all issued orders or interpretations of orders attempting to ban abortion during the coronavirus outbreak, arguing that the procedure is not medically necessary and that keeping clinics open is using up personal protective equipment and hospital beds that should be reserved for health care workers and people with COVID-19.
The ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and the Center for Reproductive Rights have filed lawsuits, either separately or together, in each of the six states, arguing in each that abortion is medically necessary, that the amount of protective equipment for medical staffers and hospital beds used in abortion procedures is negligible, and that these bans are exploiting the pandemic to push anti-abortion policies.
Federal judges have issued temporary restraining orders preventing the abortions bans from going into effect in Texas, Ohio, Oklahoma, and Alabama, though the states have all appealed these decisions and the cases are currently making their way through the courts. (The lawsuit in Iowa was dropped after the state clarified that its ban only applied to some procedures.)
After the 5th Circuit Court of Appeals decided to allow Texas’s ban to go into effect at the end of March, and a lower federal court issued another block of the law, the pro–abortion rights groups asked the Supreme Court to intervene and prevent Texas from banning the procedure.
As all these cases raged on in the court system, Arkansas decided to join in on the fray by sending a cease-and-desist letter to its only abortion clinic.
“Your facility is ordered to immediately cease and desist the performance of surgical abortions, except where immediately necessary to protect the life or health of the patient,” the letter, included in the ACLU’s complaint, read. “Any further violations of the April 3 Directive will result in an immediate suspension of your facilities license.”
In the suit, the ACLU pointed out that Arkansas does not have a stay-at-home order in place and has not closed nonessential businesses, arguing that the governor is specifically targeting abortion clinics.
“According to the Governor, many hospitals are ‘empty,’ and there is no shortage of the medical professionals on whom we all gratefully depend to fight COVID-19 on the frontlines,” ACLU’s complaint says, referring to an interview the governor gave with PBS on Wednesday defending his choice not to issue a lockdown for his state.
“Manufacturing and places of worship remain open, and medical providers around the State are free to exercise their independent professional judgment to provide patients with all surgical and dental care that they determine cannot be safely postponed,” the complaint continues.
The complaint includes a letter sent from the Arkansas Department of Health to the states’ dentists outlining the procedures allowed to take place during the ban on nonemergency surgeries. The procedures include filling cavities, some orthodontic care, treating cracked teeth, and “third-molar pain,” among other standard dentist procedures.
“Indeed, orthodontists in Arkansas remain free to schedule visits to adjust wires on patients’ braces, and dentists continue to see patients who complain of a cracked tooth,” the lawsuit states.
The ACLU requested a speedy response to their complaint, and a federal judge is likely to make a ruling in the coming days.


buzzfeednews--2020-04-28--He Worked As A Janitor At The University Where He Studied. He Died From The Coronavirus Just 20 Cred

He Worked As A Janitor At The University Where He Studied. He Died From The Coronavirus Just 20 Credits Shy Of Graduating.

People around the world are remembering family and friends who have died during the coronavirus pandemic .
BuzzFeed News is proud to bring you some of their stories .
To support our coverage , become a member and sign up for our newsletter , Outbreak Today .
Darrin Adams made a living cleaning the halls of Wayne State University in Detroit .
As a custodian there for six years , he helped keep the school tidy .
But he was also there to make a new life for himself .
The 54-year-old had spent several stints in prison on theft @ @ @ @ @ @ @ fiancé , Raejean Woolfork .
But Adams was determined to turn his life around .
After a couple of years working at the school , he enrolled himself in 2016 .
He chose to major in sociology , pursuing a bachelor of arts degree .
Eager to learn , he sat in the front rows of his classrooms , dressed in the college 's sports swag .
He asked nuanced questions and spoke poignantly about issues of race .
He had a 3.64 GPA .
The university said he was “ an all-star @ @ @ @ @ @ @ beginning was sacred .
“ He made a pact with God that if he got out this time , he would make changes and wouldn ’ t go back [ to prison ] , ” Woolfork told BuzzFeed News .
Adams , though , was not able to finish his dream .
His story of redemption ended on April 3 when he died after nearly a month of having COVID-19 symptoms , the disease caused by the novel coronavirus .
He was just 20 credits shy of graduating .
Instead , on Friday @ @ @ @ @ @ @ would be posthumously awarded his bachelor ’ s degree .
“ Adams ’ commitment to his education and community will be remembered and missed , ” officials said .

Darrin Adams made a living cleaning the halls of Wayne State University in Detroit. As a custodian there for six years, he helped keep the school tidy.
But he was also there to make a new life for himself.
The 54-year-old had spent several stints in prison on theft and drug offenses, according to his fiancé, Raejean Woolfork.
But Adams was determined to turn his life around.
After a couple of years working at the school, he enrolled himself in 2016. He chose to major in sociology, pursuing a bachelor of arts degree.
Eager to learn, he sat in the front rows of his classrooms, dressed in the college's sports swag. He asked nuanced questions and spoke poignantly about issues of race. He had a 3.64 GPA. The university said he was “an all-star student.”
For Adams, this new beginning was sacred. “He made a pact with God that if he got out this time, he would make changes and wouldn’t go back [to prison],” Woolfork told BuzzFeed News.
Adams, though, was not able to finish his dream.
His story of redemption ended on April 3 when he died after nearly a month of having COVID-19 symptoms, the disease caused by the novel coronavirus. He was just 20 credits shy of graduating.
Instead, on Friday, Wayne State University officials announced Adams would be posthumously awarded his bachelor’s degree.
“Adams’ commitment to his education and community will be remembered and missed,” officials said.


buzzfeednews--2020-04-29--Hulu’s “Normal People” Evokes How Intense First Love Can Be

Normal People is best consumed alone .
In its depiction of first love , this series evokes something that — at least for me , and maybe for you — feels so personal and private that even having someone else in the room seems too intimate .
When I texted a friend to tell her that the show was premiering on Hulu this week , she said she ’ d spent the last weeks emotionally preparing herself .
The novel the series is based on , by Sally Rooney , does things to people .
It transports us back to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ The show does too .
If you ’ ve read the book , you might already have some sense of its emotional wallop .
It ’ s the story of two teens — Marianne ( brilliant , solitary , spiky , delicately beautiful ) and Connell ( equally brilliant , classically handsome , taciturn , popular ) in Sligo , Ireland .
They come from very different social circles and classes — Connell ’ s mom works for Marianne ’ s family as a housekeeper — but fall for each other ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , and spend the next years of their lives circling in and out of one another ’ s orbit .
It is a story about how first loves become indelible to our sense of self , with the capacity to injure and animate us for years to come .
It ’ s not sweet , or even pleasurable per se ; it ’ s messy and frustrating and structured by class and status anxiety .
In the book version of Normal People , significant sections of Marianne and Connell ’ s relationship takes @ @ @ @ @ @ @ several attributes that have earned Rooney the designation of the quintessential ( white ) millennial novelist .
But the show manages to feel at once of the moment and timeless .
Unlike Sex Education , set in a sunny , vaguely ’ 80s , vaguely utopian version of Wales , Normal People is ostensibly rooted in the nearish present : When Connell ( Paul Mescal ) and Marianne ( Daisy Edgar-Jones ) end up at Trinity College in Dublin , for instance , there ’ s a conversation about the free speech debates @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of the modern dating world — text messages , dating apps , social media of any kind — are almost entirely eclipsed in the show by real-life interactions : small moments of emotional violence and repair , interspersed with distance and longing .
Characters miscommunicate not because text messaging is an imperfect medium , but because they actually stop talking to each other ( after Connell , the dolt , asks someone else to prom ) .
The narrative hinges occur when someone drives someone else home or shows up at a random @ @ @ @ @ @ @ t to suggest that the adaptation is particularly propulsive , or even plotty , at least not in the way we often think of those characteristics .
Not much happens , other than people going about their days and spending a lot of time reading and staring out the window .
The interactions between the two leads are hushed ; no one makes any grand declarations .
But they crackle with sexual and emotional chemistry .
Same with all of the time we spend alone with Connell or Marianne : We ’ re @ @ @ @ @ @ @ actual companions in the world , their exterior lives have never matched the depth of their interior ones .
At least until they met each other .
Why do we compulsively return to these stories of first love ?
It ’ s not just romance ; it ’ s a particular type of romance , the sort that evokes what Neko Case , in her song of the same name , refers to as “ that teenage feeling.
” If you ’ ve felt it , then you know it : a sensation @ @ @ @ @ @ @ you from everyone and everything else .
It ’ s lying on your bed and just thinking of someone for hours .
It ’ s waiting for days for a letter or an email to arrive .
It ’ s a first touch so anticipated that you shiver .
It feels boundless and universal and yet incredibly unique : No one ’ s quilt of longing looks quite like yours .
Everyone has their own pantheon of teenage feeling texts .
Mine includes The OC , the first Twilight ( movie and book @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Patient , Romeo + Juliet , My So-Called Life , and the novel The Great Fire .
Some of these imprinted on me when I was an actual teen swallowed by teenage feelings ; others , like Twilight , became beacons of escapism later in life .
And all are stories of love inflected with loss .
Music is a teenage feeling maker , too — any of the songs that I had on repeat during those times when I just lay around and drove around and sat around and yearned .
And @ @ @ @ @ @ @ everyone else my age , making collages of the CD liner notes and strategically deploying them on AIM , they were always secondary to the sound , the feel of the music itself , deployed to express the inexpressible .
Indeed , the moments that overwhelmed me most in Normal People coincided with the strategic incorporation of songs from classic teenage feeling texts spanning the last 20 years : “ Angeles ” by Elliott Smith , “ Into Dust ” by Mazzy Star , “ Hide and Seek ” by Imogen Heap , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ OC .
In practice , these songs take moments that already feel overwhelming ( A kiss !
A reunion ! )
and , at least for me , transform them into something approaching the sublime .
Which explains why I found myself weeping so many times over the course of the series : Some of the narrative is sad , but I think what was really happening was more like emotional surrender .
When I was a teen and young adult , I was simultaneously tortured by and addicted to those feelings .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ the characters in Normal People , both of whom have internalized their unworthiness in some way , I likely subconsciously sabotaged relationships in part to continue feeling them .
I ’ ve also largely grown out of them , for lack of a better description , moving from the thrill and sink of dating to the steadiness and deep and textured trust of a long-term relationship .
It ’ s not better or worse ; it ’ s just different .
But I ’ ve also accumulated adult responsibilities that don ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ romance , at least not the way I did when I was a teen .
I could spend hours engrossed in pining because I wasn ’ t paying rent and school was straightforward .
Even after I graduated from college , my life was still incredibly simple : I hung out with my friends , I went to my job and then came home , and I had so much time to spend wishing the guy I liked liked me more .
Nostalgia is the yearning for a place to which we can @ @ @ @ @ @ @ that place never quite existed as we remember , but also because we ’ ve accelerated past the point in our lives when we were able to experience it in that way .
Until recently , I was too busy to spend much time feeling teenage feelings — too busy even to stop and feel nostalgia for the time in my life when I could .
I ’ d scroll through old Instagrams on my phone , but that ’ s like the Kidz Bop version of nostalgia , bland and flattened , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ nostalgia has bite .
It ’ s capable of wreckage .
For many , the last few months since the coronavirus pandemic overwhelmed our lives — spent in isolation , under stress , in fear — have stripped us of both our excesses and our excuses .
People are reconciling with exes , finally cutting off toxic relationships , rekindling dying friendships .
My life , working from home , is empty but full .
In many ways , I ’ ve felt transported to a version of myself I haven ’ t @ @ @ @ @ @ @ much less demanded of me , and so much more to give to myself .
In this , I am incredibly privileged , much like I was at age 19 .
When Fiona Apple ’ s new album , Fetch the Bolt Cutters , was released earlier this month , I didn ’ t just play it on repeat for days ; I lived inside it .
That was the way I used to engage with music , with books , with movies .
I hadn ’ t done it in years .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ missing for so long I ’ d forgotten the puzzle was unfinished .
Normal People does something similar — and , much like Apple ’ s album , understands that our teenage feelings never actually leave us .
They transform and sour , recede and resurface .
But those feelings are our companions , the foundations of our adult emotional lives , no matter how much we busy ourselves to erase or ignore them .
In the second episode of Normal People , Connell has asked Marianne to come over to his house @ @ @ @ @ @ @ will be gone , and they ’ ll have a chance to be alone .
They ’ ve barely kissed , but the moment is freighted with possibility .
Marianne puts on makeup in the late afternoon light , dresses up just slightly — what a feeling , getting ready to go over to a guy ’ s house for the first time !
— and they awkwardly sit around his room .
“ You always know what you think , I like that , ” Connell tells her .
He ’ s @ @ @ @ @ @ @ “ Well , you always know what you feel , don ’ t you ?
” she responds .
“ No , I struggle with that , ” he says .
“ I might look back on something , and I can think of how I felt at the time — but when I ’ m in it , I never have any idea.
” I don ’ t know what I feel right now .
But I do know , and find deep , unexpected comfort in , what I felt then @ @

Normal People is best consumed alone. In its depiction of first love, this series evokes something that — at least for me, and maybe for you — feels so personal and private that even having someone else in the room seems too intimate. When I texted a friend to tell her that the show was premiering on Hulu this week, she said she’d spent the last weeks emotionally preparing herself. The novel the series is based on, by Sally Rooney, does things to people. It transports us back to our most tender and desirous selves. The show does too.
If you’ve read the book, you might already have some sense of its emotional wallop. It’s the story of two teens — Marianne (brilliant, solitary, spiky, delicately beautiful) and Connell (equally brilliant, classically handsome, taciturn, popular) in Sligo, Ireland. They come from very different social circles and classes — Connell’s mom works for Marianne’s family as a housekeeper — but fall for each other’s minds, have hot, secretive sex, and spend the next years of their lives circling in and out of one another’s orbit. It is a story about how first loves become indelible to our sense of self, with the capacity to injure and animate us for years to come. It’s not sweet, or even pleasurable per se; it’s messy and frustrating and structured by class and status anxiety.
In the book version of Normal People, significant sections of Marianne and Connell’s relationship takes place via text messages — one of several attributes that have earned Rooney the designation of the quintessential (white) millennial novelist. But the show manages to feel at once of the moment and timeless. Unlike Sex Education, set in a sunny, vaguely ’80s, vaguely utopian version of Wales, Normal People is ostensibly rooted in the nearish present: When Connell (Paul Mescal) and Marianne (Daisy Edgar-Jones) end up at Trinity College in Dublin, for instance, there’s a conversation about the free speech debates on college campuses.
But the fixtures of the modern dating world — text messages, dating apps, social media of any kind — are almost entirely eclipsed in the show by real-life interactions: small moments of emotional violence and repair, interspersed with distance and longing. Characters miscommunicate not because text messaging is an imperfect medium, but because they actually stop talking to each other (after Connell, the dolt, asks someone else to prom). The narrative hinges occur when someone drives someone else home or shows up at a random party in college.
Which isn’t to suggest that the adaptation is particularly propulsive, or even plotty, at least not in the way we often think of those characteristics. Not much happens, other than people going about their days and spending a lot of time reading and staring out the window. The interactions between the two leads are hushed; no one makes any grand declarations. But they crackle with sexual and emotional chemistry. Same with all of the time we spend alone with Connell or Marianne: We’re meant to understand that, regardless of actual companions in the world, their exterior lives have never matched the depth of their interior ones. At least until they met each other.