thedailymirror--2020-05-21--Mirror Book Club: If It Bleeds by Stephen King is master author at his best

There ’ s never been a better time to get lost in a good book… so we ’ d love you to join the friendly Mirror Book Club community on Facebook .
Members share their thoughts on the chosen book of the month , they post recommendations of other books they ’ ve enjoyed – such as thrillers , romances and memoirs – and exchange book news and views .
So if you enjoy books , stories and the company of fellow bookworms then we think you ’ ll love our group too .
Mirror Book Club members have chosen @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I Am : Seventeen Brushes With Death , by award-winning novelist Maggie O ’ Farrell as our latest book of the month .
O ’ Farrell recounts the 17 times she has narrowly escaped death .
There are episodes of near drowning , of life-threatening miscarriages , of amoebic parasites .
A doctor fails to listen to her medical history so she nearly dies during childbirth , and there are close shaves with cars , with turbulent planes and a knifepoint robbery in Chile .
This affecting , powerful and life-affirming book tells @ @ @ @ @ @ @ this is a book of extraordinary courage : the courage to survive these “ seventeen brushes with death ” and the courage to write about them with searing honesty .
We ’ d love you to give I Am , I Am , I Am a read and let the Mirror Book Club know what you think .
We ’ ll print your feedback on these pages on June 19 .
You can share your thoughts in the Mirror Book Club at facebook.com/groups/mirrorbookclub .
■ We have 25 copies of I Am , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ away !
For a chance to win , simply ‘ like ’ the post announcing the giveaway in our Facebook group ( facebook.com/groups/mirrorbookclub ) before May 27 .
Just My Luck by Adele Parks Lexi and Jake have been best friends with two couples for 15 happy years .
They ’ ve raised children together , enjoyed weekly dinner parties and formed a lottery syndicate .
But after a bitter row the friendship splinters .
And a week later , Lexi and Jake discover they have won £18million on the lottery .
Their @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and an acrimonious dispute ensues .
Parks is on pulsating form in this compelling , snappily written tale .
If It Bleeds by Stephen King Troubled private investigator Holly , who runs Finders Keepers detective agency , sees a news story about an explosion at a local school in which children have died .
But there is something not quite right about the TV reporter and Holly finds herself drawn into a dangerous mystery .
This exploration of evil is followed by three shorter stories , also full of vividly drawn characters and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ tour de force by a master storyteller .
What Have I Done ?
An Honest Memoir About Surviving Postnatal Mental Illness by Laura Dockrill In this brave , raw memoir , the children ’ s author and illustrator relives her harrowing experiences of post-natal depression and psychosis : “ It ’ s not easy to admit that the worst time of your life was when your baby was born.
” The birth was traumatic and , after a few sleepless nights , Laura was hearing voices and was assaulted by paranoid thoughts .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ of a mental hospital .
But this is also the inspiring story of her recovery .

We review I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes With Death, by award-winning novelist Maggie O’Farrell as our latest book of the month
Mirror Book Club: If It Bleeds by Stephen King is master author at his best
There’s never been a better time to get lost in a good book… so we’d love you to join the friendly Mirror Book Club community on Facebook.
Members share their thoughts on the chosen book of the month, they post recommendations of other books they’ve enjoyed – such as thrillers, romances and memoirs – and exchange book news and views.
So if you enjoy books, stories and the company of fellow bookworms then we think you’ll love our group too.
Mirror Book Club members have chosen memoir I Am, I Am, I Am: Seventeen Brushes With Death, by award-winning novelist Maggie O’Farrell as our latest book of the month.
O’Farrell recounts the 17 times she has narrowly escaped death.
There are episodes of near drowning, of life-threatening miscarriages, of amoebic parasites. A doctor fails to listen to her medical history so she nearly dies during childbirth, and there are close shaves with cars, with turbulent planes and a knifepoint robbery in Chile.
This affecting, powerful and life-affirming book tells stories of an extraordinary life. And this is a book of extraordinary courage: the courage to survive these “seventeen brushes with death” and the courage to write about them with searing honesty.
We’d love you to give I Am, I Am, I Am a read and let the Mirror Book Club know what you think. We’ll print your feedback on these pages on June 19.
You can share your thoughts in the Mirror Book Club at facebook.com/groups/mirrorbookclub.
■ We have 25 copies of I Am, I Am, I Am to give away! For a chance to win, simply ‘like’ the post announcing the giveaway in our Facebook group (facebook.com/groups/mirrorbookclub) before
May 27.
Just My Luck by Adele Parks
HQ, £12.99
Lexi and Jake have been best friends with two couples for 15 happy years.
They’ve raised children together, enjoyed weekly dinner parties and formed a lottery syndicate. But after a bitter row the friendship splinters. And a week later, Lexi and Jake discover they have won £18million on the lottery. Their friends are determined to claim a share and an acrimonious dispute ensues.
Parks is on pulsating form in this compelling, snappily written tale.
BY EMMA LEE-POTTER
If It Bleeds by Stephen King
Hodder & Stoughton, £20
Troubled private investigator Holly, who runs Finders Keepers detective agency, sees a news story about an explosion at a local school in which children have died.
But there is something not quite right about the TV reporter and Holly finds herself drawn into a dangerous mystery.
This exploration of evil is followed by three shorter stories, also full of vividly drawn characters and unsettling themes, making this collection another tour de force by a master storyteller.
BY MERNIE GILMORE
What Have I Done? An Honest Memoir About Surviving Postnatal Mental Illness by Laura Dockrill
Square Peg, £14.99
In this brave, raw memoir, the children’s author and illustrator relives her harrowing experiences of post-natal depression and psychosis: “It’s not easy to admit that the worst time of your life was when your baby was born.”
The birth was traumatic and, after a few sleepless nights, Laura was hearing voices and was assaulted by paranoid thoughts. She spent two weeks on the ward of a mental hospital. But this is also the inspiring story of her recovery.
BY EITHNE FARRY


thedailymirror--2020-05-21--Giorgio Chiellini says Luis Suarez was right to bite him during 2014 World Cup

Giorgio Chiellini has claimed Luis Suarez was right to bite him at the 2014 World Cup .
The shocking incident came during a winner takes all group game between Italy and Uruguay .
But with the score goalless Suarez took a bite out of Chiellini off the ball .
The forward escaped any punishment at the time , although he was handed a lengthy ban following the game .
A Diego Godin header ensured Uruguay progressed but the Juventus defender said in his autobiography 'Lo Giorgio ' that he admires the Barcelona forward .
“ Malice is part of football @ @ @ @ @ @ @ illegitimate .
To get past a rival you have to be smart , ” he said .
“ I admire his cunning .
If he lost it , he ’ d become an ordinary forward.
” The defender also went on to say that he felt Suarez 's combative style was similar to his and he relishes those sort of opponents .
He added : “ I marked ( Edinson ) Cavani for most of the match , another guy who is difficult to mark and who we didn ’ t hold back @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I had been bitten in the shoulder .
It just happened , but that ’ s his strategy in hand-to-hand combat and , if I may say so , it ’ s mine too .
He and I are alike , and I like to take on attackers like him.
” Suarez 's antics at the World Cup came a little more than a year after he had committed the same offence while playing for Liverpool .
The Uruguayan bit Chelsea 's Branislav Ivanovic in a match at Anfield and was later banned @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the Mirror Football email here for the latest news and transfer gossip .

Giorgio Chiellini and Luis Suarez clashed at the 2014 World Cup when the Uruguayan bit the Italian defender but he holds no grudge
Giorgio Chiellini says Luis Suarez was right to bite him during 2014 World Cup
Giorgio Chiellini has claimed Luis Suarez was right to bite him at the 2014 World Cup.
The shocking incident came during a winner takes all group game between Italy and Uruguay.
But with the score goalless Suarez took a bite out of Chiellini off the ball.
The forward escaped any punishment at the time, although he was handed a lengthy ban following the game.
A Diego Godin header ensured Uruguay progressed but the Juventus defender said in his autobiography 'Lo Giorgio' that he admires the Barcelona forward.
“Malice is part of football, I wouldn’t call it illegitimate. To get past a rival you have to be smart,” he said.
Image: REUTERS) REUTERS)
“I admire his cunning. If he lost it, he’d become an ordinary forward.”
The defender also went on to say that he felt Suarez's combative style was similar to his and he relishes those sort of opponents.
He added: “I marked (Edinson) Cavani for most of the match, another guy who is difficult to mark and who we didn’t hold back against.
Image: X00380) X00380)
“Suddenly I noticed that I had been bitten in the shoulder. It just happened, but that’s his strategy in hand-to-hand combat and, if I may say so, it’s mine too. He and I are alike, and I like to take on attackers like him.”
Suarez's antics at the World Cup came a little more than a year after he had committed the same offence while playing for Liverpool.
The Uruguayan bit Chelsea's Branislav Ivanovic in a match at Anfield and was later banned for ten games.
Sign up to the Mirror Football email here for the latest news and transfer gossip.


thedailymirror--2020-05-21--You can get paid to use electricity in your own home over bank holiday weekend

More than 100,000 households could be paid to use electricity over the Bank Holiday weekend .
Power usage is expected to be at a record low , partly because so few shops and other businesses are open .
Such a slump makes it harder for the National Grid to balance the supply of electricity with demand , and increases the risk of blackouts .
The Grid is looking at options to get rid of about 3.7 gigawatts of surplus power – enough for over three million homes for an hour .
The fall in demand also means energy from green @ @ @ @ @ @ @ may go to waste .
Octopus Energy will pay customers in a bid for excess energy to be used .
They will get money off for using electricity on Sunday from 5am to 7am and 2pm to 5pm .
It works out as around 20p an hour for an average household .
The offer applies to the 100,000-plus Octopus customers with the right sort of smart meter .
Experts want the technology to be used so millions would pay higher prices at peak times and less when it is quieter .
Greg Jackson @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , said : “ If the UK doesn ’ t urgently embrace the small changes needed to enable a smart energy grid , the country could end up missing net zero targets , and footing a £40billion bill for infrastructure it doesn ’ t need.
” A report has revealed more electricity was produced by green energy than fossil fuels for the first time ever in the UK .
Wind farms overtook gas as the biggest source , according to academics from Imperial College London for Drax Electric Insights .
Meanwhile , the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ more than 40 days without using coal to generate electricity .
The Fiddler ’ s Ferry coal-fired power station in Warrington , Cheshire , closed in March .

The National Grid can't let energy output slump while shops and businesses are open so one option could be to pay customers to use their power on Bank Holiday Sunday
You can get paid to use electricity in your own home over bank holiday weekend
More than 100,000 households could be paid to use electricity over the Bank Holiday weekend.
Power usage is expected to be at a record low, partly because so few shops and other businesses are open.
Such a slump makes it harder for the National Grid to balance the supply of electricity with demand, and increases the risk of blackouts.
The Grid is looking at options to get rid of about 3.7 gigawatts of surplus power – enough for over three million homes for an hour.
The fall in demand also means energy from green sources, such as wind turbines, may go to waste.
Octopus Energy will pay customers in a bid for excess energy to be used. They will get money off for using electricity on Sunday from 5am to 7am and 2pm to 5pm.
Image: PA) PA)
It works out as around 20p an hour for an average household. The offer applies to the 100,000-plus Octopus customers with the right sort of smart meter.
Experts want the technology to be used so millions would pay higher prices at peak times and less when it is quieter.
Greg Jackson, the firm’s chief executive, said: “If the UK doesn’t urgently embrace the small changes needed to enable a smart energy grid, the country could end up missing net zero targets, and footing a £40billion bill for infrastructure it doesn’t need.”
A report has revealed more electricity was produced by green energy than fossil fuels for the first time ever in the UK.
Wind farms overtook gas as the biggest source, according to academics from Imperial College London for Drax Electric Insights.
Meanwhile, the UK is in a record run of more than 40 days without using coal to generate electricity.
The Fiddler’s Ferry coal-fired power station in Warrington, Cheshire, closed in March.


thedailymirror--2020-05-21--Girlfriend of Premier League star 'caught smuggling stun gun' on to private jet

The girlfriend of a Premier League player was reportedly caught smuggling a stun gun and a cosh on to a private jet for her 'protection ' .
Border Force officers found the weapons when the WAG was asked to open her bag at a private jet terminal after a weekend away , report The Sun .
She allegedly told officials she had bought the items abroad following a spate of raids on homes of football stars in the UK .
The illegal items were reportedly seized from the woman on her return to the UK after she had apparently said @ @ @ @ @ @ @ source told The Sun : `` When asked to open her bag , officers found illegal weapons .
She immediately burst into tears .
“ It seems she very naively thought it would be OK to bring the stun gun into the UK to give her protection .
“ She clearly had no idea possession of weapons like this is taken very seriously.
” Possessing a stun gun is punishable by up to six months in jail or a maximum fine of £5,000 .
Extendable batons are also illegal to carry , being @ @ @ @ @ @ @ reported that the woman was not travelling with her footballer boyfriend , and it is unclear if she will face any punishment .
The Home Office , which runs the Border Force , is quoted by The Sun as saying : `` We do not routinely comment on individual cases.
” Chelsea boss Frank Lampard and Tottenham midfielder Dele Alli are among the high-profile names to have recently had their homes targeted by criminals .

A Premier League player's girlfriend was reportedly found to be carrying a stun gun and a cosh after landing back in the UK on a private jet following a weekend away
The girlfriend of a Premier League player was reportedly caught smuggling a stun gun and a cosh on to a private jet for her 'protection'.
Border Force officers found the weapons when the WAG was asked to open her bag at a private jet terminal after a weekend away, report The Sun.
She allegedly told officials she had bought the items abroad following a spate of raids on homes of football stars in the UK.
The illegal items were reportedly seized from the woman on her return to the UK after she had apparently said she had nothing to declare.
A source told The Sun: "When asked to open her bag, officers found illegal weapons. She immediately burst into tears.
Image: INTERNET PICTURE) INTERNET PICTURE)
“It seems she very naively thought it would be OK to bring the stun gun into the UK to give her protection.
“She clearly had no idea possession of weapons like this is taken very seriously.”
Possessing a stun gun is punishable by up to six months in jail or a maximum fine of £5,000.
Extendable batons are also illegal to carry, being classed as offensive weapons.
It is reported that the woman was not travelling with her footballer boyfriend, and it is unclear if she will face any punishment.
The Home Office, which runs the Border Force, is quoted by The Sun as saying: "We do not routinely comment on individual cases.”
Chelsea boss Frank Lampard and Tottenham midfielder Dele Alli are among the high-profile names to have recently had their homes targeted by criminals.


thedailymirror--2020-05-21--Soap stars make the most of the sunshine as they get ready for a return to work

Soap stars make the most of the sunshine as they get ready for a return to work Soap stars have @ @ @ @ @ prepare for a return to set after coronavirus brought production to a grinding halt

Soap stars make the most of the sunshine as they get ready for a return to work
Soap stars have been catching rays as they prepare for a return to set after coronavirus brought production to a grinding halt


thedailymirror--2020-05-21--Struggling British seaside towns are dying for tourists - who could kill them

At Mablethorpe , golden sands stretch for miles along a wide Blue Flag Award-winning beach .
It was loved by the poet Lord Tennyson and , at low tide , it stretches almost to the horizon .
It ’ s the eve of the late May Bank Holiday , the start of half-term , and Britain is baking under soaring temperatures .
Yet the fairground is silent , the crazy golf is empty and there are no donkey rides along the sands .
The local council has begged people to stay away , but by yesterday the beaches were filling @ @ @ @ @ @ @ kids play in the sand .
Nowhere is the terrible bind of this moment played out more than in Mablethorpe and its close neighbour Skegness , strung out along the same Lincolnshire coast .
These towns desperately need visitors , yet also need them to stay away .
They are the two towns in the UK that economists project will be worst hit by economic effects of the coronavirus pandemic .
In communities where ‘ summer pays for winter ’ , every day the towns remain closed , they are dying .
Yet @ @ @ @ @ @ @ lives of thousands of local elderly people and lead to a second mid-season peak that could finish off coastal towns for good .
Allison Stapleton and her husband Colin own Monty ’ s fish and chip shop in Mablethorpe .
They sum up the dilemma .
“ At the end of the day our health is more important than a bag of chips , ” Allison 57 , says .
“ But if we don ’ t get up and running soon , we will not survive the winter months and 99 % @ @ @ @ @ @ @ through the winter.
” The £10,000 government grant they received is quickly being swallowed by rent and bills .
“ At the moment we have only opened the takeaway part of the shop for two days , Friday and Saturday , ” Allison says .
“ I usually hug some of our elderly ladies , and it was heartbreaking not to be able to when they came in.
” For Daniel Goate , 32 , who runs Poplar Farm Restaurant and Caravan Park on a few acres of the Lincolnshire Wolds in Skegness @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
“ The longer we are closed , the more money we are losing , ” he says .
“ We are a seasonal business , but there ’ s no guarantee we can open this season , or next.
” Even so – in contrast to some millionaires ’ luxury businesses – he said Poplar Farm was hoping not to furlough anyone “ to take the pressure off government ” .
In town , Sue Allen ’ s shop , Sue ’ s Curios and Collectables , a fixture in Mablethorpe since @ @ @ @ @ @ @ museum , but is just about surviving on internet orders .
This coast was struggling long before coronavirus , Mablethorpe being one of the towns Beeching cut off from the rail network in 1970 .
Last year , a report from the End Child Poverty Coalition found child poverty running at 50 % in several wards in Mablethorpe and Skegness .
Last year , Skeggy was cruelly taunted as worse than North Korea by one travel website , and voted Britain ’ s fourth worst holiday destination by Which ?
, infuriating locals @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
The Furnichurch charity supplies furniture to people in need and runs a food larder that has been delivering desperately needed parcels .
In April last year it helped 35 people .
This April that figure was 171 .
One of those was a single mum with four children who worked in a care home .
`` A patient of hers had died from coronavirus , ” Dot McMillan , 79 , the charity ’ s chairman , says .
“ She then had some symptoms which meant she had to self-isolate .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ week .
`` Another man had lost his job and was waiting on his Universal Credit payments .
At the same time , he was taking his wife to hospital for chemo .
`` The couple waited until their fridge was empty before they came to us for help . ''
Dot says this coming week of hot weather in half-term will be a “ real test ” for Mablethorpe .
“ Many of the local people here are worried about seeing an influx because we have all been very good at social @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I think the Government advice should have been to tell people to stay at home another three weeks.
” The Centre for Towns and the University of Southampton came up with their list of worst affected places after calculating the proportion of each town ’ s population employed in industries temporarily shut down by Covid-19 .
They ranked Mablethorpe first , then Skegness , Clacton-on-Sea , Bridlington and Kinmel Bay , near Rhyl .
All are coastal towns already struggling – and all have a Conservative MP .
This coast ’ s resilience @ @ @ @ @ @ @ winds and storms that lash the shore .
Skegness has been attempting to rise from the ashes of a fire that engulfed a large part of the seafront in 2009 .
In Mablethorpe , a granite memorial stands to 42 of its townsfolk who were lost to floods that breached the seawall in 1953 .
Even so , without an urgent rescue package from the Government , the coronavirus pandemic may yet be the Lincolnshire coast ’ s greatest challenge .

mirrornews@mirror.co.uk (Ros Wynne Jones)

Our Real Britain columnist hears from locals in idyllic Mablethorpe and Skegness - where a battle for survival facing the UK's seaside towns after coronavirus is already playing out
British seaside towns need tourists to stay alive - but visitors could kill them
At Mablethorpe, golden sands stretch for miles along a wide Blue Flag Award-winning beach. It was loved by the poet Lord Tennyson and, at low tide, it stretches almost to the horizon.
It’s the eve of the late May Bank Holiday, the start of half-term, and Britain is baking under soaring temperatures. Yet the fairground is silent, the crazy golf is empty and there are no donkey rides along the sands.
The local council has begged people to stay away, but by yesterday the beaches were filling up with visitors desperate to let their kids play in the sand.
Nowhere is the terrible bind of this moment played out more than in Mablethorpe and its close neighbour Skegness, strung out along the same Lincolnshire coast. These towns desperately need visitors, yet also need them to stay away.
Image: LOUGHBOROUGH ECHO) LOUGHBOROUGH ECHO)
They are the two towns in the UK that economists project will be worst hit by economic effects of the coronavirus pandemic.
In communities where ‘summer pays for winter’, every day the towns remain closed, they are dying.
Yet an influx of visitors would threaten the lives of thousands of local elderly people and lead to a second mid-season peak that could finish off coastal towns for good.
Allison Stapleton and her husband Colin own Monty’s fish and chip shop in Mablethorpe.
They sum up the dilemma. “At the end of the day our health is more important than a bag of chips,” Allison 57, says.
“But if we don’t get up and running soon, we will not survive the winter months and 99% of the Mablethorpe coast will not get through the winter.”
The £10,000 government grant they received is quickly being swallowed by rent and bills. “At the moment we have only opened the takeaway part of the shop for two days, Friday and Saturday,” Allison says.
Image: HANDOUT) HANDOUT)
“I usually hug some of our elderly ladies, and it was heartbreaking not to be able to when they came in.”
For Daniel Goate, 32, who runs Poplar Farm Restaurant and Caravan Park on a few acres of the Lincolnshire Wolds in Skegness, the situation is even more acute.
“The longer we are closed, the more money we are losing,” he says. “We are a seasonal business, but there’s no guarantee we can open this season, or next.”
Even so – in contrast to some millionaires’ luxury businesses – he said Poplar Farm was hoping not to furlough anyone “to take the pressure off government”.
In town, Sue Allen’s shop, Sue’s Curios and Collectables, a fixture in Mablethorpe since 1966, has had to close its museum, but is just about surviving on internet orders.
Image: HANDOUT) HANDOUT)
This coast was struggling long before coronavirus, Mablethorpe being one of the towns Beeching cut off from the rail network in 1970.
Last year, a report from the End Child Poverty Coalition found child poverty running at 50% in several wards in Mablethorpe and Skegness.
Last year, Skeggy was cruelly taunted as worse than North Korea by one travel website, and voted Britain’s fourth worst holiday destination by Which?, infuriating locals.
Now, the strain is visible. The Furnichurch charity supplies furniture to people in need and runs a food larder that has been delivering desperately needed parcels.
In April last year it helped 35 people. This April that figure was 171. One of those was a single mum with four children who worked in a care home.
Image: HANDOUT) HANDOUT)
"A patient of hers had died from coronavirus,” Dot McMillan, 79, the charity’s chairman, says. “She then had some symptoms which meant she had to self-isolate. The workplace only paid her for one week.
"Another man had lost his job and was waiting on his Universal Credit payments. At the same time, he was taking his wife to hospital for chemo.
"The couple waited until their fridge was empty before they came to us for help."
Dot says this coming week of hot weather in half-term will be a “real test” for Mablethorpe. “Many of the local people here are worried about seeing an influx because we have all been very good at social distancing,” she says.
“I think the Government advice should have been to tell people to stay at home another three weeks.”
The Centre for Towns and the University of Southampton came up with their list of worst affected places after calculating the proportion of each town’s population employed in industries temporarily shut down by Covid-19.
They ranked Mablethorpe first, then Skegness, Clacton-on-Sea, Bridlington and Kinmel Bay, near Rhyl. All are coastal towns already struggling – and all have a Conservative MP.
This coast’s resilience is not just against the North Sea winds and storms that lash the shore.
Skegness has been attempting to rise from the ashes of a fire that engulfed a large part of the seafront in 2009.
In Mablethorpe, a granite memorial stands to 42 of its townsfolk who were lost to floods that breached the seawall in 1953.
Even so, without an urgent rescue package from the Government, the coronavirus pandemic may yet be the Lincolnshire coast’s greatest challenge.
Additional reporting by Maryam Qaiser.


thedailymirror--2020-05-21--'We're funner up North but the biggest joke is down South'

The North is just a motorway sign to unknown foreign parts for people darn sarf .
They think we wear animal skins , live in caves and bash each other with clubs .
That last bit is true , but only on Saturday nights after the pubs have shut .
The rest of the time we sit around in the freezing rain , grooming our whippets and polishing us clogs – and taking the p*ss out of each other .
That ’ s why the best comedians come from the North .
Official , from a survey by the Beano @ @ @ @ @ @ @ are more funny than southerners .
Comic maybe , but it ’ s no joke .
Fun in a cold climate is the best way of beating adversity , and we ’ re all familiar with that .
My generation grew up with outdoor lavs , no central heating and rationing .
That ’ s why we laugh at Monty Python ’ s Four Yorkshiremen sketch , with Tykes competing for the title of most poverty-stricken childhood .
In fact my dad guffawed so much we were evicted from our hole in the @ @ @ @ @ @ @ slavery .
I was sent down t ’ pit to hew coal wi t ’ teeth .
And we were lucky .
The family in the next pothole were sentenced to life watching Murder She Wrote for not laughing at Ken Dodd .
Does tha know what ?
It ’ s so grim and cheerless down South that students at Oxford University are clamouring to join a Northerners ’ Society .
Honest .
The organisers invite speakers to talk about the so-called Northern Powerhouse .
That should crease the little pointy-heads , because @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
I could sell tickets for that , but not many .
I ’ m glad the northern comedian instinct is finally getting proper recognition .
If only it could be available on the NHS , the nation would cease to take seriously crap southern comics like Boris Johnson , Dominic Waab and Priti Patel , the heartless stooge from Watford .

When you're stuck in the cold, laughter is the only way to cope with jokes like the Northern Powerhouse
Paul Routledge: We're funnier up North but the biggest joke is down South
The North is just a motorway sign to unknown foreign parts for people darn sarf.
They think we wear animal skins, live in caves and bash each other with clubs.
That last bit is true, but only on Saturday nights after the pubs have shut.
The rest of the time we sit around in the freezing rain, grooming our whippets and polishing us clogs – and taking the p*ss out of each other.
That’s why the best comedians come from the North. Official, from a survey by the Beano. Seven out of 10 believe northerners are more funny than southerners.
Comic maybe, but it’s no joke. Fun in a cold climate is the best way of beating adversity, and we’re all familiar with that.
My generation grew up with outdoor lavs, no central heating and rationing. That’s why we laugh at Monty Python’s Four Yorkshiremen sketch, with Tykes competing for the title of most poverty-stricken childhood.
In fact my dad guffawed so much we were evicted from our hole in the ground and our mam was sold into slavery.
I was sent down t’pit to hew coal wi t’teeth.
And we were lucky. The family in the next pothole were sentenced to life watching Murder She Wrote for not laughing at Ken Dodd.
Does tha know what? It’s so grim and cheerless down South that students at Oxford University are clamouring to join a Northerners’ Society. Honest.
The organisers invite speakers to talk about the so-called Northern Powerhouse. That should crease the little pointy-heads, because it’s the biggest joke around. I could sell tickets for that, but not many.
I’m glad the northern comedian instinct is finally getting proper recognition.
If only it could be available on the NHS, the nation would cease to take seriously crap southern comics like Boris Johnson, Dominic Waab and Priti Patel, the heartless stooge from Watford.


thedailymirror--2020-05-22--Miracle baby pulled alive from Pakistan plane crash wreckage area

This is the incredible moment a baby was pulled alive from the Pakistan plane crash impact area .
A local news reporter was broadcasting from the scene behind a police cordon when all of a sudden rescuers waved onlookers out of the way .
Suddenly , out of the smoke came an emergency aid worker carrying a baby , wriggling in his arms .
All 107 passengers onboard Flight PK8303 died after the jet crashed into house shortly before landing at Karachi 's main airport .
The baby from a family in the community was buried under rubble caused by @ @ @ @ @ @ @ We 'll be bringing you the very latest updates , pictures and video on this breaking news story .
Please check back regularly for updates on this developing story here at Mirror.co.uk .
For the latest news and breaking news visit Mirror.co.uk/news .
Get all the big headlines , pictures , analysis , opinion and video on the stories that matter to you .
Follow us on Twitter @ DailyMirror - the official Daily Mirror & Mirror Online Twitter account - real news in real time .
We 're also on Facebook /dailymirror @ @ @ @ @ @ @ videos and pictures throughout the day from the Daily Mirror , Sunday Mirror and Mirror Online .

The baby was buried in rubble after Pakistan International Airlines Flight PK8303 with 107 passengers onboard crashed on its final approach to Karachi Airport
This is the incredible moment a baby was pulled alive from the Pakistan plane crash impact area.
A local news reporter was broadcasting from the scene behind a police cordon when all of a sudden rescuers waved onlookers out of the way.
Suddenly, out of the smoke came an emergency aid worker carrying a baby, wriggling in his arms.
Karachi's mayor said all 107 passengers onboard Flight PK8303 died after the jet crashed into houses shortly before landing at Karachi's main airport.
Image: AFP via Getty Images) AFP via Getty Images)
However, a number of families claimed they had been contacted in the aftermath by loved ones who were on the jet and were still alive.
The baby from a family in the community of Model Colony was buried under rubble caused by the impact of the crash.
Footage shows an apocalyptic scene with fires burning in a narrow street with houses collapsed and debris scattered in streets, as ambulances rushed through chaotic crowds of people.
Image: 92News) 92News)
The jet, which tracking website flightradar24.com identified as a 15-year-old Airbus A320, was flying from the eastern city of Lahore to Karachi in the south just as Pakistan was resuming domestic flights in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic.
"The last we heard from the pilot was that he has some technical problem," PIA spokesman Abdullah H. Khan said.
"He was told from the final approach that both the runways were ready where he can land, but the pilot decided that he wanted to do (a) go-round ... It is a very tragic incident."
A senior civil aviation official told Reuters it appeared the plane was unable to open its wheels due to a technical fault prior to landing, but it was to early to determine the cause.


thedailymirror--2020-05-22--'I took time off when lockdown started - but I felt a duty to go back and help'

When lockdown was introduced , Tariq Nadeem 's wife and daughter were extremely worried about him carrying on his work as a taxi driver .
Being self-employed , he made the decision to take some time off to keep himself and his family safe , and spent the first two weeks of the restrictions at home .
But he then decided to get back in his cab to drop of prescriptions and food parcels to vulnerable people in the community who are self-isolating or shielding , and he quickly realised how many other people still needed taxis .
He said @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I saw lots of people going about their jobs .
`` There are key workers , people who work in hospitals - they need to get to work .
`` There are people who have no choice , they have to carry on .
`` We were sitting at home and the only thing we were really doing was watching the news .
`` I thought it was a bit selfish of me just to sit at home when my work was needed .
`` That 's when my fears started to go @ @ @ @ @ @ @ has been a taxi driver for 15 years , says his wife and 17-year-old daughter are still extremely worried .
He said : `` At the beginning I was n't comfortable with it and neither was my wife , but you start to get used to it .
`` My family are getting used to it but they are still concerned .
My wife calls , checking on me . ''
The logistics of the job means it 's not always possible to keep the 2m distance guidelines , but Number 1 Diamond @ @ @ @ @ @ @ is doing everything they can to protect drivers and passengers .
They are using hand sanitiser regularly and PPE .
The company is also offering a 15 per cent discount to key workers and has been delivering hot food to NHS staff .
He said : `` We ca n't be two metres apart in the car - that 's my main concern .
`` Some people do n't like it but you have to explain to them .
`` It 's unchartered waters for us .
`` Before I used to get @ @ @ @ @ @ @ I do now but do it from a distance . ''
Despite the dangers , Tariq is glad he can do his bit to keep the UK moving during this health crisis .
He said : `` The thing I 've noticed is that people are coming together in tough times .
`` The most satisfying part has been delivering prescriptions .
The look on their face is very satisfying .
`` I do about 10 or 15 a day , but other drivers do more .
Even the bosses are doing it @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and saying thank you all the time . ''
The customers have also changed completely , with leisure trips replaced by work journeys .
He said : `` It 's massively different now .
`` Before we had a lot of people going to restaurants , the cinema or the pub .
That 's completely changed .
`` 90 per cent of people are going to the supermarket or going to work . ''

Tariq Nadeem, 40, has been driving taxis in Manchester for 15 years, but he was understandably worried about carrying on during lockdown as it's not possible to stay two metres apart. He speaks to Mirror Online as part of our Frontline Fighters series, where we find out what it's really like to be a key worker during the coronavirus pandemic
'I took time off when lockdown started - but I felt a duty to go back and help'
When lockdown was introduced, Tariq Nadeem's wife and daughter were extremely worried about him carrying on his work as a taxi driver.
Being self-employed, he made the decision to take some time off to keep himself and his family safe, and spent the first two weeks of the restrictions at home.
But he then decided to get back in his cab to drop of prescriptions and food parcels to vulnerable people in the community who are self-isolating or shielding, and he quickly realised how many other people still needed taxis.
He said: "Once I started doing prescriptions I saw lots of people going about their jobs.
"There are key workers, people who work in hospitals - they need to get to work.
"There are people who have no choice, they have to carry on.
"We were sitting at home and the only thing we were really doing was watching the news.
"I thought it was a bit selfish of me just to sit at home when my work was needed.
"That's when my fears started to go away."
However Tariq, who has been a taxi driver for 15 years, says his wife and 17-year-old daughter are still extremely worried.
He said: "At the beginning I wasn't comfortable with it and neither was my wife, but you start to get used to it.
"My family are getting used to it but they are still concerned. My wife calls, checking on me."
The logistics of the job means it's not always possible to keep the 2m distance guidelines, but Number 1 Diamond Cars, who Tariq works for, is doing everything they can to protect drivers and passengers.
They are using hand sanitiser regularly and PPE.
The company is also offering a 15 per cent discount to key workers and has been delivering hot food to NHS staff.
He said: "We can't be two metres apart in the car - that's my main concern.
"Some people don't like it but you have to explain to them.
"It's unchartered waters for us.
"Before I used to get out my taxi and help people, I do now but do it from a distance."
Despite the dangers, Tariq is glad he can do his bit to keep the UK moving during this health crisis.
He said: "The thing I've noticed is that people are coming together in tough times.
"The most satisfying part has been delivering prescriptions. The look on their face is very satisfying.
"I do about 10 or 15 a day, but other drivers do more. Even the bosses are doing it.
"We get people complimenting us and saying thank you all the time."
The customers have also changed completely, with leisure trips replaced by work journeys.
He said: "It's massively different now.
"Before we had a lot of people going to restaurants, the cinema or the pub. That's completely changed.
"90 per cent of people are going to the supermarket or going to work."


thedailymirror--2020-05-22--Man, 36, charged with the murder of beautician stabbed to death outside her home

A 36-year-old man has been charged with the murder of a beautician stabbed to death outside her home .
Melissa Belshaw , 32 , was attacked in front of her 13-year-old daughter in Wigan , Greater Manchester , on Wednesday .
She was pronounced dead at the scene despite the efforts of paramedics .
On Friday Andrew Wadsworth , from Wigan , appeared at Manchester Magistrates ' Court accused of murder , attempted murder , threats to kill , threatening a person with a knife and assaulting two police officers .
He was remanded in custody and will appear at @ @ @ @ @ @ @ 26 .
On Thursday , officers from Greater Manchester Police said two men had tried to stop the attack with one of the being stabbed .
The man , who is in his 40s , is in hospital in a stable condition .
The second man managed to protect Melissa 's daughter after she managed to call police to raise the alarm .
Superintendent Chris Bridge praised the `` extreme bravery '' of the two members of the public who intervened .
He said : `` This was a hugely distressing scene and @ @ @ @ @ @ @ For them to run to danger , with no thought for their own personal safety is extremely commendable .
`` Had it not been for their intervention , we might have been looking at further victims .
The daughter could have been seriously injured as well .
`` We often overuse the word ‘ hero ’ , but I think the public would support me in saying that their actions were nothing short of heroic .
It is understood the man who has been charged and Ms Belshaw , who has not yet @ @ @ @ @ @ @ known to each other .
Supt Bridge said he wanted to reassure the community it was an isolated incident and there was no wider threat .
Yesterday Jean Mulvaney , Melissa 's heartbroken mum , paid tribute to her 'beautiful child ' saying she was 'so clever ' and was planning to open her own beauty shop The Lash Room .
The 58-year-old said : “ She was a beautiful child and the most important person in my life .
“ My two sons - Lee and Nathan - are distraught .
If @ @ @ @ @ @ @ wouldn ’ t be here now , I ’ d be with Melissa . ''

Melissa Belshaw, 32, was attacked in front of her 13-year-old daughter in Wigan, Greater Manchester. A neighbour was injured as he tried to save her but she died at the scene
Man, 36, charged with the murder of beautician stabbed to death outside her home
A 36-year-old man has been charged with the murder of a beautician stabbed to death outside her home.
Melissa Belshaw, 32, was attacked in front of her 13-year-old daughter in Wigan, Greater Manchester, on Wednesday.
She was pronounced dead at the scene despite the efforts of paramedics.
On Friday Andrew Wadsworth, from Wigan, appeared at Manchester Magistrates' Court accused of murder, attempted murder, threats to kill, threatening a person with a knife and assaulting two police officers.
He was remanded in custody and will appear at Manchester Crown Court Crown Square on May 26.
Image: MEN MEDIA) MEN MEDIA)
On Thursday, officers from Greater Manchester Police said two men had tried to stop the attack with one of the being stabbed.
The man, who is in his 40s, is in hospital in a stable condition.
The second man managed to protect Melissa's daughter after she managed to call police to raise the alarm.
Image: MEN MEDIA) MEN MEDIA)
Superintendent Chris Bridge praised the "extreme bravery" of the two members of the public who intervened.
He said: "This was a hugely distressing scene and their actions were incredibly brave.
"For them to run to danger, with no thought for their own personal safety is extremely commendable.
"Had it not been for their intervention, we might have been looking at further victims. The daughter could have been seriously injured as well.
Image: Liverpool Echo) Liverpool Echo)
"We often overuse the word ‘hero’, but I think the public would support me in saying that their actions were nothing short of heroic.
It is understood the man who has been charged and Ms Belshaw, who has not yet been formally identified by police, were known to each other.
Supt Bridge said he wanted to reassure the community it was an isolated incident and there was no wider threat.
Yesterday Jean Mulvaney, Melissa's heartbroken mum, paid tribute to her 'beautiful child' saying she was 'so clever' and was planning to open her own beauty shop The Lash Room.
The 58-year-old said: “She was a beautiful child and the most important person in my life.
“My two sons - Lee and Nathan - are distraught. If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here now, I’d be with Melissa."


thedailymirror--2020-05-22--Kate Garraway's wedding heartbreak after husband's ultimate declaration of love

Derek Draper could n't keep his eyes off Kate Garraway when they reunited after a month apart last year .
The joy in their faces was clear to see as the Good Morning Britain presenter embraced her soul mate on the famous I 'm A Celebrity exit bridge .
Kate kept her wedding ring on despite a ban on campmates having jewellery , having never taken it off since getting married , but did remove her engagement ring .
So Derek had planned to get down on one knee with the ring in front of the cameras , but was @ @ @ @ @ @ @ of his life for the first time in weeks .
Luckily , thanks to their children 's involvement in the plan , Derek got a second chance just moments later , making the ultimate declaration of love to his wife .
Which makes his battle against coronavirus during seven weeks in intensive care even more heartbreaking .
After leaving the jungle their kids leaped out to surprise their mum , with daughter Darcey pointing out her forgetful dad 's mistake .
`` Oh Dad – you didn ’ t do it , '' @ @ @ @ @ @ @ down on one knee and proposed .
The former Labour advisor told Kate what he had been telling the nation for weeks , that he had fallen in love with her all over again .
Obviously Kate said 'yes ' for the second time , and the happy couple were planning to walk down the aisle once again before he was struck down by coronavirus .
The devastating news of Derek 's health battle comes just weeks after Kate confirmed they were moving ahead with plans for a vow renewal ceremony .
Before @ @ @ @ @ @ @ face the toughest battle of his life , Kate made a poignant comment that seems even more heartbreaking now .
`` When Boris Johnson said : ‘ People are going to lose loved ones before their time ’ , it was a powerful thing to say , because you instantly didn ’ t think of numbers and statistics , you thought of your loved ones .
I feel better for being cautious .
It feels like , day by day , the world is changing , '' she told The Sun .
`` @ @ @ @ @ @ @ forward to when this is all over .
That ’ s what we ’ re trying to do – think of all the good things . ''
Darcey , 13 , had been put in charge with the wedding plans for her loving parents , who have been married for 15 years .
Their second wedding was originally scheduled for the end of the summer , but their plans were put on hold when the coronavirus pandemic gripped the world .
They had planned to tie the knot once more in front of @ @ @ @ @ @ @ Darcey had been planning to spice up her dad 's wardrobe , jokingly telling him he could n't wear a polo shirt to the ceremony .
And the creative 13-year-old also wanted to get her mum in a flamboyant dress .
Kate said : `` We ’ d planned the wedding for the end of summer , but I don ’ t suppose we ’ ll be booking anything now because we don ’ t really know what we can do .
`` Darcey ’ s taken control .
She had big , @ @ @ @ @ @ @ and she was like : ‘ Dad , this is the time to update your wardrobe , you can ’ t just wear polo shirts.
’ She wants something very , very flamboyant for me as well , and also big numbers , so we ’ ll have to wait for that reason alone if we can ’ t all gather together . ''
Kate also explained why they they enlisted the help of their daughter for the preparations for their special day .
She told Prima : `` We ’ re going @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s going to plan the whole thing .
She ’ s 13 , so it could be very interesting , but we ’ ll see .
`` I think she will probably want me to look like Kendall Jenner on the day which is going to be tough… I would love to look like Kendall Jenner as well , so good luck with that ! ''
In the summer of 2005 Kate , then 38 , fell pregnant with their daughter Darcey by a 'happy accident ' .
They tied the knot @ @ @ @ @ @ @ September followed by a glitzy Park Lane reception , before a northern wedding for Lancashire-born Derek , gathering at St Mary 's Parish Club in Chorley .
The couple moved into a townhouse in the hip London suburb of Islington and son Billy arrived in July 2009 .
Sadly , plans for their second wedding are now on hold with Derek in intensive care fighting Covid-19 .
Derek is in a coma and has been in intensive care for seven weeks since contracting coronavirus back in March .
Devastated Kate and the kids @ @ @ @ @ @ @ house every week while Derek fights to survive .
Each week , Kate has given heartbreaking and lifting updates on her husband 's condition .
Most recently , on May 21 , Kate revealed that `` there is still hope '' despite every day learning new ways that the virus is battling against him .
Posting on Instagram , Kate expressed her hope that the easing of lockdown is a turning point for the country but insisted her own family 's journey with the killer bug is `` far from over '' .
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ didn ’ t even know Darcey had bought this t shirt on line ( with my card ! )
until she emerged tonight but I do know how grateful she is to the # nhs - I couldn ’ t be prouder of how she & Billy have coped with these past 2 horrific months for our family - always finding ways of lifting our spirits & staying strong even when they can see me wobbling .
`` Its so wonderful to see little green shoots of hope that this dreadful disease is @ @ @ @ @ @ @ all be able to see each other again and hug our nearest and dearest .
`` But the journey for me and my family seems to be far from over as everyday my heart sinks as I learn new & devastating ways this virus has more battles for Derek to fight .
`` But he is still HERE & so there is still hope .
My heartfelt thoughts and prayers go out to anyone who will be affected by this , not just for the next few weeks but for the foreseeable future @ @ @ @ @ @ @ will be the case for many who have suffered from the disease , but also the front line workers who have been helping to treat the worst affected .
`` The physical and mental scars will run deep and so we need to stick together far beyond the end of lockdown .
Thank you so much for all your messages .
I am going to share more of the things that have been keeping me going on clubgarraway.com .
`` And I would love to hear more of your challenges & thoughts there @ @ @ @ @ @ @ .
# hope # staypositive # clapthecarers ''

Derek Draper expressed his love to Kate Garraway in the most romantic way possible - but their intimate plans are sadly on hold while he fights for his life
Derek Draper couldn't keep his eyes off Kate Garraway when they reunited after a month apart last year.
The joy in their faces was clear to see as the Good Morning Britain presenter embraced her soul mate on the famous I'm A Celebrity exit bridge.
Kate kept her wedding ring on despite a ban on campmates having jewellery, having never taken it off since getting married, but did remove her engagement ring.
So Derek had planned to get down on one knee with the ring in front of the cameras, but was overcome with emotion at seeing the love of his life for the first time in weeks.
Luckily, thanks to their children's involvement in the plan, Derek got a second chance just moments later, making the ultimate declaration of love to his wife.
Which makes his battle against coronavirus during seven weeks in intensive care even more heartbreaking.
Image: ITV/REX) ITV/REX)
After leaving the jungle their kids leaped out to surprise their mum, with daughter Darcey pointing out her forgetful dad's mistake.
"Oh Dad – you didn’t do it," exclaimed Darcey, so Derek immediately got down on one knee and proposed.
The former Labour advisor told Kate what he had been telling the nation for weeks, that he had fallen in love with her all over again.
Obviously Kate said 'yes' for the second time, and the happy couple were planning to walk down the aisle once again before he was struck down by coronavirus.
The devastating news of Derek's health battle comes just weeks after Kate confirmed they were moving ahead with plans for a vow renewal ceremony.
Image: Mirrorpix) Mirrorpix)
Before Derek was taken to intensive care to face the toughest battle of his life, Kate made a poignant comment that seems even more heartbreaking now.
"When Boris Johnson said: ‘People are going to lose loved ones before their time’, it was a powerful thing to say, because you instantly didn’t think of numbers and statistics, you thought of your loved ones. I feel better for being cautious. It feels like, day by day, the world is changing," she told The Sun.
"The wedding is something wonderful to look forward to when this is all over. That’s what we’re trying to do – think of all the good things."
Darcey, 13, had been put in charge with the wedding plans for her loving parents, who have been married for 15 years.
Image: Mirrorpix) Mirrorpix)
Their second wedding was originally scheduled for the end of the summer, but their plans were put on hold when the coronavirus pandemic gripped the world.
They had planned to tie the knot once more in front of huge numbers of friends and family.
Darcey had been planning to spice up her dad's wardrobe, jokingly telling him he couldn't wear a polo shirt to the ceremony.
And the creative 13-year-old also wanted to get her mum in a flamboyant dress.
Kate said: "We’d planned the wedding for the end of summer, but I don’t suppose we’ll be booking anything now because we don’t really know what we can do.
Image: PA) PA)
"Darcey’s taken control. She had big, big visions for the whole thing, and she was like: ‘Dad, this is the time to update your wardrobe, you can’t just wear polo shirts.’ She wants something very, very flamboyant for me as well, and also big numbers, so we’ll have to wait for that reason alone if we can’t all gather together."
Kate also explained why they they enlisted the help of their daughter for the preparations for their special day.
She told Prima : "We’re going to have a second wedding and Darcey’s going to plan the whole thing. She’s 13, so it could be very interesting, but we’ll see.
"I think she will probably want me to look like Kendall Jenner on the day which is going to be tough… I would love to look like Kendall Jenner as well, so good luck with that!"
Image: WireImage) WireImage)
In the summer of 2005 Kate, then 38, fell pregnant with their daughter Darcey by a 'happy accident'.
They tied the knot it a plush Primrose Hill ceremony that September followed by a glitzy Park Lane reception, before a northern wedding for Lancashire-born Derek, gathering at St Mary's Parish Club in Chorley.
The couple moved into a townhouse in the hip London suburb of Islington and son Billy arrived in July 2009.
Sadly, plans for their second wedding are now on hold with Derek in intensive care fighting Covid-19.
Image: WireImage) WireImage)
Derek is in a coma and has been in intensive care for seven weeks since contracting coronavirus back in March.
Devastated Kate and the kids have been clapping for carers outside their house every week while Derek fights to survive.
Each week, Kate has given heartbreaking and lifting updates on her husband's condition.
Most recently, on May 21, Kate revealed that "there is still hope" despite every day learning new ways that the virus is battling against him.
Posting on Instagram, Kate expressed her hope that the easing of lockdown is a turning point for the country but insisted her own family's journey with the killer bug is "far from over".
Image: kategarraway/Instagram) kategarraway/Instagram)
The GMB presenter wrote: "I didn’t even know Darcey had bought this t shirt on line ( with my card !) until she emerged tonight but I do know how grateful she is to the #nhs - I couldn’t be prouder of how she & Billy have coped with these past 2 horrific months for our family - always finding ways of lifting our spirits & staying strong even when they can see me wobbling .
"Its so wonderful to see little green shoots of hope that this dreadful disease is easing and that hopefully soon we might all be able to see each other again and hug our nearest and dearest.
"But the journey for me and my family seems to be far from over as everyday my heart sinks as I learn new & devastating ways this virus has more battles for Derek to fight.
Image: kategarraway/Instagram) kategarraway/Instagram)
"But he is still HERE & so there is still hope. My heartfelt thoughts and prayers go out to anyone who will be affected by this, not just for the next few weeks but for the foreseeable future."
She added: "That will be the case for many who have suffered from the disease, but also the front line workers who have been helping to treat the worst affected.
"The physical and mental scars will run deep and so we need to stick together far beyond the end of lockdown. Thank you so much for all your messages. I am going to share more of the things that have been keeping me going on clubgarraway.com .
"And I would love to hear more of your challenges & thoughts there too. Sharing is such a comfort. #hope #staypositive #clapthecarers"


thedailymirror--2020-05-22--Mike Tyson ready to accept Tito Ortiz challenge as he vows to fight anyone

Mike Tyson and MMA legend Tito Ortiz could be set to take each other on in a pay-per-view fight after Iron Mike insisted he was ready to go up against any challengers .
Tyson , 53 , has recently been training with MMA coach Rafael Cordeiro , and is reportedly set for a stunning comeback in order to raise money for charity .
There has been a huge amount of speculation as to who he could be set to fight , with the likes of Tyson Fury 's father John and the legendary Shannon Briggs all touted as possible opponents @ @ @ @ @ @ @ about Ortiz recently calling him out on social media , Tyson replied : `` I do n't really know , but anyone that 's willing to contribute to this charity , they 're welcome to come in and challenge me .
I would be open for anyone . ''
Speaking about his toned new look , Tyson added : `` I am just having fun looking good , showing off my new body , anything is possible .
`` My ego is starting to get elated , but we will see .
There @ @ @ @ @ @ @ for in the future . ''
Another potential opponent could be Tyson 's former foe Evander Holyfield , and Iron Mike seems keen on a rematch with the 57-year-old .
`` Listen there are a lot of people out there who need help , and something like that could help a lot of people who need help , '' he said .
`` That 's just basically pretty much what I embark on , a life of charity and gratitude .
`` I do n't know if Evander and me are going to @ @ @ @ @ @ @ doing it for the humanity of people , less fortunate than ourselves .
`` What would that be like ?
That is something that has not been done by any entertainer any sports figure in the history of sports and entertainment . ''

MIKE TYSON VOWS TO RETURN WITH SPIRIT OF CHINESE DICTATOR IN NEW VIDEO
MIKE TYSON VOWS TO RETURN WITH SPIRIT OF CHINESE DICTATOR IN NEW VIDEO
The 53-year-old is set for a sensational comeback 15 years after retiring and he has recently been pictured looking in top shape
Mike Tyson ready to accept Tito Ortiz challenge as he vows to fight anyone
Mike Tyson and MMA legend Tito Ortiz could be set to take each other on in a pay-per-view fight after Iron Mike insisted he was ready to go up against any challengers.
Tyson, 53, has recently been training with MMA coach Rafael Cordeiro, and is reportedly set for a stunning comeback in order to raise money for charity.
There has been a huge amount of speculation as to who he could be set to fight, with the likes of Tyson Fury's father John and the legendary Shannon Briggs all touted as possible opponents.
And when asked by TMZ Sports about Ortiz recently calling him out on social media, Tyson replied: "I don't really know, but anyone that's willing to contribute to this charity, they're welcome to come in and challenge me. I would be open for anyone."
Image: YouTube) YouTube)
Speaking about his toned new look, Tyson added: "I am just having fun looking good, showing off my new body, anything is possible.
"My ego is starting to get elated, but we will see. There are a lot of things to hope for in the future."
Another potential opponent could be Tyson's former foe Evander Holyfield, and Iron Mike seems keen on a rematch with the 57-year-old.
"Listen there are a lot of people out there who need help, and something like that could help a lot of people who need help," he said.
Image: Weibo/Mike Tyson) Weibo/Mike Tyson)
"That's just basically pretty much what I embark on, a life of charity and gratitude.
"I don't know if Evander and me are going to get in the ring, arch-enemies, doing it for the humanity of people, less fortunate than ourselves.
"What would that be like? That is something that has not been done by any entertainer any sports figure in the history of sports and entertainment."


thedailymirror--2020-05-22--Incestuous mum filmed herself sexually abusing a child and sent video to friend

A twisted mum has been locked up for sexually abusing a young girl in a bath tub before sending a sick video of the act to someone through Facebook .
Elizabeth Haway , from Princeton , West Virginia , US , was jailed for 155 years on Wednesday for the 'vile and horrific ' abuse on the child which was discovered by cops following a tip-off .
Sentencing the 43-year-old at Mercer County Circuit Court Judge William Sadler said that `` lifelong damage has been inflicted on this child , '' the Bluefield Daily Telegraph reports .
He said : @ @ @ @ @ @ @ can never be restored on replaced .
`` I 've been involved in the criminal justice system for over 30 years .
From that standpoint , this is one of the most vile and horrific cases I have ever experienced in the criminal justice system . ''
Haway had previously admitted first-degree sexual assault , first-degree sexual abuse , and sexual abuse by a parent , guardian , custodian or person of trust , and incest , at a hearing in December last year .
The court heard an investigation was launched by @ @ @ @ @ @ @ ’ s Office after he received a cyber tip that child porn had been distributed through Facebook messenger .
According to a police report obtained by the Bluefield Daily Telegraph , Sommers said : “ As I searched her Facebook records further , I found two video files that were approximately 3 minutes and 21 seconds ( each ) in length that had been sent to another Facebook user . ''
The detective also said he saw a woman sexually abusing a prepubescent female aged between five and six , the news outlet @ @ @ @ @ @ @ : “ I also observed that the bathtub had distinct cracking of the moulding at the wall and bathtub and that the adult female had a tattoo on her finger of a smiley face ( two dots and a line ) .
” When the detective raided Haway 's home he discovered her bathroom was similar to the one seen in the abuse videos .
Prosecuting Attorney George Sitle requested the court impose the maximum sentencing for Haway .
She was sentenced to 25 to 100 years for both counts of sex assault @ @ @ @ @ @ @ , the news outlet reported .
She must also serve between five and 25 years for the the counts of sex abuse and 35 years for incest crimes .
Haway must serve a minimum of 45 years before she is eligible for parole .
If she is ever released she must register as a sex offender with the West Virginia State Police and be under supervision .

Elizabeth Haway, 43, from West Virginia in the US, was jailed for 155 years for the 'vile and horrific' abuse which was discovered by a detective following a tip-off
Incestuous mum filmed herself sexually abusing a child and sent video to friend
A twisted mum has been locked up for sexually abusing a young girl in a bath tub before sending a sick video of the act to someone through Facebook.
Elizabeth Haway, from Princeton, West Virginia, US, was jailed for 155 years on Wednesday for the 'vile and horrific' abuse on the child which was discovered by cops following a tip-off.
Sentencing the 43-year-old at Mercer County Circuit Court Judge William Sadler said that "lifelong damage has been inflicted on this child," the Bluefield Daily Telegraph reports.
He said: "This child has lost innocence that can never be restored on replaced.
"I've been involved in the criminal justice system for over 30 years. From that standpoint, this is one of the most vile and horrific cases I have ever experienced in the criminal justice system."
Image: Facebook) Facebook)
We're testing a new site: This content is coming soon
Haway had previously admitted first-degree sexual assault, first-degree sexual abuse, and sexual abuse by a parent, guardian, custodian or person of trust, and incest, at a hearing in December last year.
The court heard an investigation was launched by Detective-Sergeant Steve Sommers at Mercer County Sheriff’s Office after he received a cyber tip that child porn had been distributed through Facebook messenger.
According to a police report obtained by the Bluefield Daily Telegraph, Sommers said: “As I searched her Facebook records further, I found two video files that were approximately 3 minutes and 21 seconds (each) in length that had been sent to another Facebook user."
The detective also said he saw a woman sexually abusing a prepubescent female aged between five and six, the news outlet reported.
Image: Facebook) Facebook)
He wrote in the report: “I also observed that the bathtub had distinct cracking of the moulding at the wall and bathtub and that the adult female had a tattoo on her finger of a smiley face (two dots and a line).”
When the detective raided Haway's home he discovered her bathroom was similar to the one seen in the abuse videos.
Prosecuting Attorney George Sitle requested the court impose the maximum sentencing for Haway.
She was sentenced to 25 to 100 years for both counts of sex assault, both sentences to be served concurrently, the news outlet reported.
She must also serve between five and 25 years for the the counts of sex abuse and 35 years for incest crimes.
Haway must serve a minimum of 45 years before she is eligible for parole.
If she is ever released she must register as a sex offender with the West Virginia State Police and be under supervision.


thedailymirror--2020-05-22--Marnie Simpson fans stunned as star looks unrecognisable in rare bare-faced snap

Marnie Simpson has shared a rare glimpse of her natural beauty in a makeup free selfie .
Quarantine has meant that some of the biggest celebrities in the showbiz industry have had to go without their signature hair extensions , pristine manicures and skilled makeup artists .
This means that many have been forced to embrace their natural beauty , minus all the enchancements .
And as it turns out , many fans have praised stars such as Kylie Jenner , Perrie Edwards and Dua Lipa for showing themselves in their natural form , and have even claimed that they @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the 'unnecessary slap ' .
Now , Geordie Shore star Marnie Simpson is the latest celebrity to embrace her makeup-free appearance .
Taking to Instagram yesterday , the proud mother , 28 , gave fans a rare glimpse of her natural beauty .
The candid snap sees the brunette bombshell lapping up the sunshine as she enjoys a beverage in her garden .
Alongside the gorgeous snap , reality TV sensation Marnie admitted that she 's loving having the opportunity to embrace life without the makeup , eyelash extensions and everything else that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ penned : `` No nails , no lashes , nothin , just pure sunshine and a crushed cranberry cocktail , I Can ’ t explain how much I needed today and the sun '' .
Unsurprisingly , the rare snap went down a treat with besotted fans who could n't get over how gorgeous the star looked 'without all the slap ' .
Marnie 's social media was awash with fans and followers alike begging her to never wear makeup again .
`` Marnie you are so stunning without makeup !
Oh my @ @ @ @ @ @ @ slap ! ''
insisted one surprised follower .
`` Please never wear makeup again .
You are beyond beautiful ! ''
another added .
While a third echoed : `` I did n't even recognise you .
Ca n't believe how good you look without makeup '' .
`` Wow !
Look at that glow .
You 're looking so so good girl .
Natural suits you ! ''
another shared .
`` Are you even real ? ''
another gushed .
The unexpected snap comes after the Geordie Shore star insisted that @ @ @ @ @ @ @ past .
Marnie vowed to never undergo anymore surgeries following the birth of her son Rox earlier this year .
She admitted that she has completely changed her approach following her pregnancy and feels that the ‘ fake look ' beloved by reality stars is 'out ’ .
`` ' I would n't get surgery again .
I think I 'm past that , '' she told Closer Magazine .
Marnie , who has undergone botox , fillers , a nose job and a breast enlargement in the past , explained that becoming @ @ @ @ @ @ @ about such beauty fads .
''All the stuff I used to worry about with my body is a bit irrelevant now , '' she explained . ''
I also think the fake look is going out of fashion .
Big lips are getting old .
I like the natural look . ''

The video will auto-play soon 8 Cancel
Geordie Shore star Marnie Simpson is the latest celebrity to embrace her makeup-free appearance - and fans cannot get enough
Marnie Simpson has shared a rare glimpse of her natural beauty in a makeup free selfie.
Quarantine has meant that some of the biggest celebrities in the showbiz industry have had to go without their signature hair extensions, pristine manicures and skilled makeup artists.
This means that many have been forced to embrace their natural beauty, minus all the enchancements.
And as it turns out, many fans have praised stars such as Kylie Jenner, Perrie Edwards and Dua Lipa for showing themselves in their natural form, and have even claimed that they look 'so much better' without all the 'unnecessary slap'.
Image: Instagram) Instagram)
Now, Geordie Shore star Marnie Simpson is the latest celebrity to embrace her makeup-free appearance.
Taking to Instagram yesterday, the proud mother, 28, gave fans a rare glimpse of her natural beauty.
The candid snap sees the brunette bombshell lapping up the sunshine as she enjoys a beverage in her garden.
Alongside the gorgeous snap, reality TV sensation Marnie admitted that she's loving having the opportunity to embrace life without the makeup, eyelash extensions and everything else that comes with being a celebrity.
Image: Instagram) Instagram)
She penned: "No nails, no lashes, nothin, just pure sunshine and a crushed cranberry cocktail, I Can’t explain how much I needed today and the sun".
Unsurprisingly, the rare snap went down a treat with besotted fans who couldn't get over how gorgeous the star looked 'without all the slap'.
Marnie's social media was awash with fans and followers alike begging her to never wear makeup again.
"Marnie you are so stunning without makeup! Oh my god! So pretty without all that slap!" insisted one surprised follower.
Image: Instagram) Instagram)
"Please never wear makeup again. You are beyond beautiful!" another added.
While a third echoed: "I didn't even recognise you. Can't believe how good you look without makeup".
"Wow! Look at that glow. You're looking so so good girl. Natural suits you!" another shared.
"Are you even real?" another gushed.
Image: Instagram) Instagram)
The unexpected snap comes after the Geordie Shore star insisted that cosmetic surgery is a thing of the past.
Marnie vowed to never undergo anymore surgeries following the birth of her son Rox earlier this year.
She admitted that she has completely changed her approach following her pregnancy and feels that the ‘fake look' beloved by reality stars is 'out’.
"'I wouldn't get surgery again. I think I'm past that," she told Closer Magazine.
Image: Instagram) Instagram)
Marnie, who has undergone botox, fillers, a nose job and a breast enlargement in the past, explained that becoming a mother has made her worry less about such beauty fads.
''All the stuff I used to worry about with my body is a bit irrelevant now," she explained.
''I also think the fake look is going out of fashion. Big lips are getting old. I like the natural look.''


thedailymirror--2020-05-22--Amy Childs shares stories of flipped implants and scars in stark surgery warning

Amy Childs has bravely opened up about her cosmetic surgery disasters for a hard-hitting new TV series .
The former Towie star gave her honest advice to two teenagers who are considering going under the knife themselves .
Amy , 29 , warned so called 'quick fix ' procedures are not all they are cracked up to be as she discussed some of her biggest regrets for BBC documentary I 've Been There .
The TV star said after ignoring medical advice , she settled on getting large breast implants at the age of 23 , which caused her a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ she underwent the procedure , Amy 's implant flipped over in her chest .
`` All of a sudden my implant flipped over on my right boob , '' she told the horrified girls .
Amy said when she showed her 'wonky ' chest to her mum she told her she looked 'disgusting . '
Speaking of her body now , Amy said : `` I 'm literally cut to pieces .
`` I 've got scars , I 've got a big anchor [ shaped ] scar , I 've got a @ @ @ @ @ @ @ the thing about this , you know , it 's really painful . ''
Amy also revealed she 'd had filler injected into her lips which also ended badly .
`` I went to a salon that was n't really qualified to give me a bit of lip filler .
`` I had about 5ml in , all in all , and they was wonky 'cos i kept going to different people [ for touch ups ] .
`` It was only when I looked in the mirror and I burst out crying @ @ @ @ @ @ @ reflection , Amy had all the filler dissolved but then discovered she could do nothing to disguise her stretched out lips .
`` What they do n't tell you when you have your lips done is that you can have it all taken out but you 're still going to have puffiness in your lips .
`` I 've tried to have re-corrective treatment but they said I might have a burst blood vessel in my lips due to the fillers . ''
Amy told the girls : `` I hate my lips @ @ @ @ @ @ @ my lips done so young . ''
She said when she looks back at her early days on Towie she thinks : `` I did n't really need the make-up . ''
`` I regret everything that I 've done .
I wish I 'd had nothing done .
I should have just left myself alone , '' she added .
The reality star then said her dreams of transforming her party started at a very early age .
`` I wanted my boobs done when I was about 12 .
It sounds @ @ @ @ @ @ @ growing up at school I was so flat chested .
`` So literally , it was my 18th birthday , a week after I had my boobs done .
`` Then when I was 23 I had my second boob job .
`` I was like , 'That 's it I 'm going to go bigger . '
`` The surgeon said to me , 'You know the bigger you go , the more they drop . '
But I did n't listen .
At the time I thought , ' I want @ @ @ @ @

Amy Childs shares horror operations as she says she regrets every plastic surgery
Amy Childs shares horror operations as she says she regrets every plastic surgery
The former TOWIE star said her body was secretly covered on his scars as she bravely opened up about her cosmetic disasters
Amy Childs has bravely opened up about her cosmetic surgery disasters for a hard-hitting new TV series.
The former Towie star gave her honest advice to two teenagers who are considering going under the knife themselves.
Amy, 29, warned so called 'quick fix' procedures are not all they are cracked up to be as she discussed some of her biggest regrets for BBC documentary I've Been There.
The TV star said after ignoring medical advice, she settled on getting large breast implants at the age of 23, which caused her a multitude of problems.
Six months after she underwent the procedure, Amy's implant flipped over in her chest.
"All of a sudden my implant flipped over on my right boob," she told the horrified girls.
Amy said when she showed her 'wonky' chest to her mum she told her she looked 'disgusting.'
Image: Facebook) Facebook)
Speaking of her body now, Amy said: "I'm literally cut to pieces.
"I've got scars, I've got a big anchor [shaped] scar, I've got a scar down the middle.
"And the thing about this, you know, it's really painful."
Image: Instagram) Instagram)
Amy also revealed she'd had filler injected into her lips which also ended badly.
"I went to a salon that wasn't really qualified to give me a bit of lip filler.
"I had about 5ml in, all in all, and they was wonky 'cos i kept going to different people [for touch ups].
"It was only when I looked in the mirror and I burst out crying."
After being horrified by her reflection, Amy had all the filler dissolved but then discovered she could do nothing to disguise her stretched out lips.
Image: SPLASH) SPLASH)
"What they don't tell you when you have your lips done is that you can have it all taken out but you're still going to have puffiness in your lips.
"I've tried to have re-corrective treatment but they said I might have a burst blood vessel in my lips due to the fillers."
Amy told the girls: "I hate my lips. This is all due to having my lips done so young."
Image: Facebook) Facebook)
She said when she looks back at her early days on Towie she thinks: "I didn't really need the make-up."
"I regret everything that I've done. I wish I'd had nothing done. I should have just left myself alone," she added.
The reality star then said her dreams of transforming her party started at a very early age.
"I wanted my boobs done when I was about 12. It sounds so young, I know, but growing up at school I was so flat chested.
"So literally, it was my 18th birthday, a week after I had my boobs done.
"Then when I was 23 I had my second boob job.
"I was like, 'That's it I'm going to go bigger.'
"The surgeon said to me, 'You know the bigger you go, the more they drop.' But I didn't listen. At the time I thought, 'I want bigger boobs.'"